#for my own mental health honestly

[sillycathorrors]

doing one of these cause i think it would be funny !!

If this post gets 5k notes, ill finally completely cut ties with my toxic ‘friend’ who constantly victimises herself and is honestly the most infuriating person on the planet

#dont know how to tag this #notes game #toxic friend #??? #sorrens rambles #id have already done it tbh but shes been hanging with her other friends so i havent seen too much of her #and a lot of my friends have advised against it lest it cause a friendgroup wide split #but i think i need to do it tbh #for my own mental health honestly #this year i am prioritising myself over anything and i have no mental space or energy for toxic friends who dont leave me feeling uplifted #and loved and cared about after every convo

[ronon-dex]

screaming my head off. tom and harry get held at gunpoint by a pack of holodeck characters and janeway refuses to shut down the program bc she'll lose her videogame boyfriend. only on voyager

#st voy #star trek: voyager #star trek voyager #star trek #st voyager #tom paris #harry kim #kathryn janeway #b'elanna was like 'but what if our actual human coworkers are killed' and janeway's like 🥺but my pixel bf🥺 #girl. chakotay is ready willing and REAL if you don't shut that program down!!!!!!!!! #this is so good i love when tom and harry fall victim to their own mischief #6x17 #i can't emphasise how easily this could be resolved if janeway wasn't down bad for a fictional character #me vs my mental health honestly

[lord-squiggletits]

Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.

Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.

Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.

I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd #(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing #there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like #'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over' #they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow #that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention #honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep #i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something #that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters #is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due #tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer #that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier #so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively #also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain' #all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma) #'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit' #like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO #and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own #like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt #so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all

[janamensch]

Juliett bouncy hair animation!!!

#oc #my ocs #juliett #spidersona #this isn’t something that happens in her spidersona au #I just wanted to draw the bouncy hair :) #I don’t think this Juliett’s mental health could take having her identity revealed honestly #When she’s visiting other spider universes that’d be fine of course but not in her own dimension

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anybody else slowly disassociating more and more as you slowly lose all of your touchstones in this world?

#it can't be just me right #also i am stoned and can't sleep why is it already past 2am damn #disassociation #no close family any more #one half sister where we have a weird relationship because i basically raised her for a while #so when we're around each other we just remind each other of our horrific childhoods and various mental health issues from that #all of my friends either live too far away are too busy with their own lives and loves (understandable) or have just forgotten me #starting to feel like I imagined that whole fling with d #but geez it'd be pretty pathetic if even a romance I made up in my head didn't end up with someone choosing me #then again I have trouble enjoying fantasies too far from the realm of possibility and maybe it's just not realistic to have someone want me #as more than a passing entertainment lol #anyway every day i feel less like a real person and more like a ghost or something imaginary or like a stranger in my own body #dang man i wish i could afford therapy i probably could use some huh #although my last therapist was pretty lackluster honestly #mental health #life of faye

[eternalchant]

fine. got the camera tools. the madness wins. look at this bitch.

#she and gortash are gonna [redacted for the safety of the public's mental health] #wit plays bg3 #not sure that i really like the reshades i grabbed from the nexus honestly might just have to cave and experiment with making my own #but getting used to the camera tool again after my short stint with the cp77 one ages ago is already going to be a trial in and of itself #c: stigma

[zero-a]

people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"

#mine.txt #just thinking about all those 'think positively!' and 'romanticize your life!' posts #like on one hand i can see their merit cause self-hatred though instinctual is ultimately detrimental to your mental health #but on the other hand...some of them (a lot of them) are really just unashamedly asking other people to completely change themselves huh #all in the guise of ''positive thinking'' ''self-love'' and ''betterment'' no less #i suppose i shouldnt be surprised considering most people can barely grasp the concept of someone who Genuinely has muted emotions #as a natural state instead of a depressive symptom #not to mention the human quality of escalating things #so ofc tumblr which seems to currently be in its mental health recovery phase would naturally lean in so hard towards ''radical happiness'' #but man sometimes i really do just wanna shake the person from behind the screen and say #'no! dont you understand! this is just how i am! stop implying that everybody who doesnt feel joy at simply waking up is a miserable hag!' #sometimes they dont even imply it they just straight up say it 💀 #im honestly fine (as in idc) with seeing them but they remind me so much of those toxic positivity bitches that sell you random hoaxes #and tell you that youre ''ruining their vibes'' when youre not just beaming like the sun every waking second #well idc most of the time that is #sometimes they just trigger my szpd (and my dpd weirdly enough) #with the szpd obviously i dont like being told what to do and what to feel and having some rando assume things about me #but with the dpd its like #oh i must be doing something wrong ofc this stranger on the internet knows more about emotions and feelings than me #cause im a dumbass who doesnt Feel things therefore i must do what they say even to my own detriment #this mainly applies to those guilt-trippy ones so ive learned to steer clear of them #possibly even block the op

[taeyungie]

hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹

here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰

#honestly... it was yoongi's comeback that made it happen. that made me have motivation to come back. i didnt expect it but here we are LOL #because for the past months i have been struggling a lot and i almost lost all the connections with my friends family and bangtan #i lost all my feelings and thoughts #i didnt miss anyone i didnt want to do anything i didnt want to be anywhere. i was completely submerged into my own head #i still am. it didnt exactly get better but.. its just yoongis impact jasbhdjdjd he made me remeber a lot #in october last year i developed a very agressive eating disorder and its gotten a lot worse at the begging of this year #and it has taken everything from me. it sucked me dry and still continues to do so. it made my mental health so much worse on every level #but im still here and thats what matters in the end right ❤️ #from the good things - after long unfortunate and very stressful job hunting i finally got a stable job 🥰 and i continue my uni so far #that's why i was absent here most of the time. i decided to focus on my life and on trying to change something and to fight a little more #after jin's enlistment announcement... it was a wake up call for me #and maybe soon i will be back on track but im taking things slow. especially that its not easy for me at all #but i just wanted you to know that theres been a lot happening here so ❤️ im not just getting bored of tumblr and bts haha #i never stopped following the fandom i never turned off my notifications from media i never stopped looking up what they're up to each day #i just didnt have time and motivation to be active. because of my health i wanted to be quiet and away from eveyone and everything :/ #even from my comfort people and activities #that sounds sad but. it's alright so please don't worry about me ❤️ I'm holding on just fine. got used to some things ❤️ trying to heal #so yeah i think thats that haha i think its enough and all basically #it may seem like very little but my life has always been very slow when it comes to big actions haha #anyway. love you all so much ❤️ thank you for not forgetting about me ❤️ #soon i will try to answer some mesdages from my inbox. please wait for me just a little bit more ❤️ im very overworked right now #but im so sorry that you have to wait so long ❤️

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I get Jack you're repressed and depressed now quit your job and stop being a dick.

#sad repressed bi boy keeps being being mean to his pacients #renfield is my baby and any attack to him is personal #victorian prick #jack seward #he is my favorite characther? hell no #but I'm studying him like he does reinfield #because he is unwell and interesting as heck and also a disaster and is fun #except he is being an ableist dick and i'm a casual media analyst #dracula #also is amazing how seward almost almost gets to theorizing about sazonal depression a real thing that they didn't really knew at the time #he almost almost gets it and instead goes to magic sun and more ableistic bs #also jack is genuinally a good general practicioner and surgeon specially for his time #but instead he is fucking people up and honestly also ruining his own mental health at an asylum #he could be saving numerous lifes and instead he is making everyone's lifes around his work place including his worse #please seward just fucking quit #he is a shit neurologist a shittier psychiatrist and I don't even consider him a psychologist just quit man please go do surgeries and exams

[stillinthatweirdfaze]

I just touched my tarot decks for the first time since middle school and got a reading really early appropriate for my current situation, and I know that’s like, the point, they are designed to do that, they are designed to be vague enough that they could apply to any situation, that stillllll made my heart race a little bit.

#I’m interested in getting into non spiritual or “traditionalist” tarot bc it honestly looks really funn #I’ve heard people describe it as an inkblot test or art analysis that the whole point is to look at stuff and interpret it your own way and #I!!!!!!! Think that is so cool!!!!!!!!!! I love art analysis and the concept of having your own little deck that you can analyze just for #You and have it be your own personal thing with no rules on how to do it right or wrong is really appealing to me #A little bit on the self reflection mental health side but ehhhghjhhhhhhhh that whole subculture is kinda poisoned to me so not really a lo #How others would use it for that purpose #I’m a depressive person with a very stale daily routine I just think having a little painting to think about all day would #Bring me a lot of joy :] and a little self reflection maybe if it ends up swinging that way #Idk thanks for reading my rant I need more hobbies

[aro-culture-is]

depressed aro culture is listening to break up songs because they are sad and a lot of them talk about being done with romance and similar concepts that are relatable.

.

#hippiecatboy #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod phoenix #depressed aro culture #huh. usually i find a lot of breakup songs are infuriatingly amatonormative #and make it sound like the singer's life is totally over bcs of it #tbh though i have found that the less i listen to things that feel depressing the better my mental health is #(not to say that's true for everyone) #so i also avoid that stuff now #graduated from emo to punk as that one post says #because i find that songs that are like hey the world is fucked so let's fuck up the people who did that #are honestly pretty motivating even when everything sucks #again: for me. not saying this is for everyone. #(can u tell i have dealt with the internet by my continuous reassurance that i am talking about my own experience) #i have had two sets of :/ anons this week already. it is monday #(one blatant aphobe who couldn't even go off anon and one person that like? idk) #(they did that 'but how didn't you consider my specific context that wasn't provided' thing.) #that wasn't on this blog though that's just something else where i was like ??? hello #honestly especially fun coming off of a mental health crisis weekend

[stillcominback]

𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: so, i'm actually in the process of moving with my parents back home to california [ hopefully be outta texas by the end of august ... no concrete dates yet, but the ball is definitely moving adkfldsf ]! i have talked to my manager at work about it because i'd like to keep my job / work remote [ which is ... possible, but with the owner it's not a sure thing unfortunately cause he's just .... yeah ]

so!! it's just been very stressful right now with the uncertainty / potential even if it's a tiny chance that i'll be out of a job that i've been grinding and growing at for nearly 11 years -- AND IT LOOKS like my boss and i are gonna have 'the chat' with the owner maybe in the next couple of weeks so i'm ... on edge y'know!

and on top of all that: i'm being made to move out of my cubicle [ for about the 5th time in the last few years ] so that a new person on our team can have it ... i'll have less privacy at my new desk and just ... it's gonna be a time so, i may not have as much time to take 'breaks' in tumblr or my drafts or whatever like i usually have had. so!! as slow as i am, stuff on my blogs [ writing-wise in particular ] is gonna majorly slow down maybe until we're all moved?? i'm not 100% sure tbh!

i appreciate everyone's patience and kindness as always!! it's just been a tough time over here, but stay tuned! ❤️ ❤️

#also: on my salary i can't afford to live here on my own so moving with my parents it just the most responsible thing to do??? #that and texas is like a legit nightmare rn and i think a move would just be better for my mental health overall #but please keep coming at me in my ic wires and on discord (or IMs here) to chat / plot #also i love writing on discord as well!! #honestly getting to chat with you guys and plot things out etc really helps me while my brain is a such a mess so it means a lot! #just cause my current drafts / replies may take me longer than i'd like rn please know i'm SO EXCITED to have time to write them! #so yeah kjsadhfdags #life's life-ing rn and just any bits of joy distraction or whatever i can get i will take! #i was just sad cause i have so many good drafts rn and wanna write them but i just simply caNNOT rn *cries* #00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )

[wewontbesleeping]

my hot take is that if you knowingly fuck someone else's boyfriend you shouldn't be allowed to have a private instagram

#all of your social media should be public #i mean thank god her instagram isn't public for my own mental health lol #but like. #she was so proud about it at the time so idk why she's shy all of a sudden #sorry idk why sometimes i just think about it and get sad again #i really need to see a therapist because no amount of telling myself i'm over it will make me be over it #and this week has been fucking hard with all the discussion about joever and ttpd #and i KNOW the album is going to be fucking torture to listen to quite honestly

[iamterribleatusernames]

i like to think i am a professional unprofessional

*jigs away*

#be free in your weirdness #live laugh love #i make most of my posts at like 3am but i feel like that’s the vibe of tumblr #it fits what can i say #what can i say #pro for me not for thee #professional #professional yapper #unprofessional #yolo #yolo i guess #honestly though #you just need to let yourself be free #sometimes #you won’t know what you are doing #most of the time #being cringe is being free #life lessons #let go of negativity #let go #letting go #self healing #mental health #heal #i hope no one looks at my tags cuz goddamn this is embarrassing sometimes #but again #fuck it #i can be free #and revel in my own weirdness #fyp2024

[adozendeadsunflowers]

everybody irl is worried im like suicidal or something because i don't reply to messages and im literally just living in my own world, hanging out with myself, sleeping

#text post #adozendeadsunflowers #honestly #me #mental health #personal #self improvement #i'm fine #im enjoying this #let me #i haven't liked myself in years and i finally enjoy my own company again #go away

[dandyshucks]

if u want to get ahead of the game and block some nasty ppl before they ever have the chance to interact w you, you can just go thru the likes and rbs of a blatantly nasty post (e.g. a post catering to pedophilic pairings) and just ... block everyone in there. esp with the likes, this can effectively block people's main blogs so hopefully they won't even have the chance to see any of your posts. this can help curate your experience on here a little better sometimes!

#done this a few times and its blocked some chuckleheads who are weirdly secretive abt their proclivities lmao #just make sure theres no reblogs with someone saying ''hey man wtf this is fucked up'' #bc then u dont know if the likes were for that response or for the original post djdksl #if any chuckleheads see this - I'm curating my experience just like y'all always say to do! peace and love on planet earth 🕊️🕊️ #honestly i am tired of thinking abt all of this but like... it genuinely triggers me pretty badly any time i see smth to do w it #so if i can just remove any chance of me running across it in the future then that's going to make my life so much better in the long run #dandy.cmd #im gonna turn off rbs actually fhdkdl if anyone wants to spread this advice feel free to make ur own post! #with my mental health lately though i am afraid I'll attract harassment so I'm just putting this out here for any followers who see it #and ur free to spread this advice in ur own words if you'd like :] i just do not have the ability to deal w any potential harassment - #-if this spreads w my name on it fhfkdl perhaps im letting my paranoia win but alas I'll give it this win just this once