#for the record this is my own fault

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Ghostbur :(

#was gonna say more but #this is sufficient #:( #my post #ghostposting #for the record this is my own fault #I made myself sad #just… just Ghostbur… #just him… #aaaah…

[voltaical-art]

they're like if the scorpion and the frog were toxic lovers

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #durge #tav #durgetav #voltaical ocs #judge #bishop #sorry for being transmasc and using super saturated blue as if its my fault #something about durge not knowing their own body and tiefling bodies having impressions of something deeper beneath the skin #their ridges the wings on their shoulder blades the webbing on their torso #also stream st vincent #am going to a listening party for her new record tonight :) so i thought i should post this today

[marsbotz]

good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff

ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]

#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty #may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think #i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels #and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it #shldnt be a prblem #i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk #for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr #and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon #lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc #its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it #from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!! #oke. bye #i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa #oh ill start up my queues again too

[juriyuna]

There's something refreshing about how Juri's reluctance to make friends was less "What if they don't like me?" and more "I know I struggle with my temper because of my mental illness, and I know I'll inevitably get mad about something and end up hurting them".

Characters who are afraid of being disliked because of their personality, or who are socially anxious in general, are pretty common, but it's not often that I see characters who are scared of being the one to hurt others with their personality. I love how the story digs into that, with all of the ugly parts and anxiety that come with it-- especially where we get to see that Juri does end up making friends she loves, who love her in kind, and who help her learn to manage her problems.

#not to get too real on tumblr dot com at 3 in the morning #but i had a similar problem making friends growing up and it's kinda nice to see that explored in magireco #i didn't fly off the handle or get violent like juri does but i knew how moody and easily annoyed i could be #(thanks undiagnosed ADHD!!) #so i was hesitant to make friends because i was afraid i'd end up getting annoyed by them and hurting them #someone says The Wrong Thing (whatever that happens to be) and i get disproportionately mad and take a strip off them #i didn't want them to think it was their fault or something when the problem is entirely on me and The Rage™️ #being angry is a bad feeling and hurting people is an even worse feeling #i've always been content to vibe on my own #but it did get kinda lonely watching everyone else have fun with their friends while i'm too high-strung to be comfortable reaching out #''i love talking to people'' and emotional dysregulation are an unfortunate combo #[coughs] ANYWAY..... #sorry for oversharing; i accidentally consumed too much caffeine and i think i was seeing demons #magia record #ooba juri

[olliecoded]

anyway scars by the crane wives is so insane it's like. there's something really wrong with me and it's ruining you, it's ruining both of us, and i know what it is but i don't know where it came from and i don't know how to fix it. there's nothing that made me this way, i just am. i think i've always been like this and i just didn't see it at first. i don't think there was ever any chance that i could've been anything better than this. this was always what i was going to become. this was always who i was going to be. and then they just PLAYED that at their concert with no warning and said hope u guys like our new song! ❤️

#someone has GOT to assassinate emilee petersmark she's destroying my LIFE! first tongues & teeth and now this???? #all the love all the kindness all your best-laid plans couldn't stop me from becoming the way that i am .... 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #anyway thinking a lot about this in my own life lately and how i feel like i'm always trying to blame other people for something that's #really only fucked up within me and truly only my own fault. it isn't my mom's fault or my friends' or whatever it's just me. in the end #this song came at the WRONG time for me actually. and then when they played say it as well!?!?! no way. 2 new songs i did NOT need to hear #OHHHH and the fact that she said it was a companion song to never love an anchor ... genuinely feel a little ill. whatever. #anyway for anyone who wants to hear these and hasn't there are recordings on youtube from the concerts! #the crane wives #wait unironically this song is so sam winchester when i think about it. u can never go home. i should rb this to my spnblog later

[grandapplewit]

If Michael Wheeler doesn’t lay in bed, staring up at his ceiling at 2 am, horrified, with “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” running through his head, I don’t want it

#Mike - approximately point two seconds after realizing that Will is in fact gay - oh my god wait I WASNT BE HOMOPHOBIC #IT STILL takes him a while to realize that Will was gay for HIM #wills confession goes something like #actually… it is kinda your fault that I don’t like girls #and mikes brain record scratches #he’s also eternally grateful that Hopper wasn’t wills stepdad during that… encounter #because Jonathan is terrifying enough on his own and if hopper learns how bad Mike fucked up… #well #rest in pieces #wit writes #Byler #stranger things #mike wheeler hate club

[running-in-the-dark]

I like all my hobbies, kind of, but every time we move somewhere else it drives me absolutely insane how much stuff I have.

meanwhile my husband will probably end up with one box, his clothes and his computer (+ everything that goes with that).

#I just have too many interests #and no impulse control when I really really really like something #so... I've got stuff for drawing‚ painting‚ sewing‚ knitting‚ crochet‚ general arts & crafts stuff‚ fountain pens and ink‚ my little doll #collection‚ a collection of pretty glass things (I hate this one the most rn 😭) and a whole lot of other random crap #plus my clothes and my computer too. #it's bad. #and that one box for my husband? it'll probably be half empty! he does not own stuff. he has one cd. I think maybe 2 DVDs (that were gifts #from me). #oh yeah I've also got movies and shows and CDs and lotttts of records #I don't know. I guess I wish I was more like him 😭 he found one hobby (computer stuff) when he was like 13 and. that's it. forever #I wish I could just get rid of my stuff but... from experience I know that's a bad idea (I will simply replace it. and feel horrible when #it's gone. I *love* my stuff 😭 I feel lost without it 😭 I like thinking of a random little project and immediately knowing exactly where #everything I'll need for it is. it's comforting.) #anyway I'm having a bad time and it is entirely my fault #personal

[ccassettetape]

noooo haha don’t stay up past midnight to draw your ocs making out when you know you have to wake up early nooo you’re so sexy aha

#is this anything. #anyway i am SLEEPY!! TIRED!! FATIGUED!! AUGHTHGHHFHHF #my own fault unfortunately sad face emoji #ccassette recordings

[awek-s-archived]

this trend of my mom thinking im an idiot who doesnt know anything abt the world is genuinely getting really tiring

#like my irritation levels are Not going down it's piling up more and more and she'soff work til the end of the month so she's gonna be w me #24/7 and idk how to handle it really lmao #i lived on my own for years im only back home bc the cost of living is so fucking high and all my friends pulled out of our prior living #arrangements . and that sucks but it's literally not my fault or up to me.. like i dont want to be here ? #and shes kinda holding on to me so badly because she doesnt wanna be alone and she has such an awful track record w men but that means that #she takes everything out on me all the time but also babies me intensely. #im 25 she literally tells me what an egg feels like as if ive never used one or even touched one before like it's that bad #but she's also intensely emotionally immature so on top of that i also feel like a parent #bc most of my time is spent on trying to educate her abt xyz and her getting defensive and im like i have to tell u this bc if you go out #saying the things you're saying to me now you're gonna get beaten up in the street lmfaojdsklgfd #like... #anyway sorry but like. it's REALLY getting to me. i really want to leave. im so so fucking broke #when i get my student loan for my phd im still not going to be able to afford to move out #i dont know what to do anymore #not to be sewer side all on main but like.. #aweks.txt

[arundolyn]

lambda after fighting rachel, like immediately after, hovering menacingly in front of her offering to help her up: can you summon your little frog again.

#crow.txt #...given rachel's track record of MOSTLY being.... soooorta half nice to the prime fields? theres???? like a 50/50 chance she actually would #RACHEL nice at least. yknow #i think like.. its been a While but iirc lambda was the one she was i guess the most sympathetic towards? i think #so maybe she would entertain her for a second. shrugs #she's also presumably the one rachel knows Personally the least aside from kokonoe owns/controls her and thats about it #but also lambda just beat her ass so she probably would not take kindly to That! #...she summons george but lets him shock lambda. mean to her. #(but lambda is fine by virtue of robot) #lambda will see a funny little creature and go ohhh friend :) #blazblueposting #had this thought bc i had the lambda ask open and saw george gif under my popular posts or whatever #she would want to hold him for a little while. like hello small man. #a counterpoint: she and kokonoe dont like HATE each other theyre just weird little old ladies so she would probably be nice for a second #and also bc lambda is nice and baby and was just doing her job. dont pick a fight with her that was 1000% on you #stupid little rabbit #losing onlooker powers. taht was your fault right there

[pallases]

piece one of pregame my beloathed

#personal #the music chronicles #gave me sm trouble memorizing it last year and here we are again #it’s literally just ONE section everything else is fine and then i get to that one section that’s not even a line and a half long and it all #falls apart #same section as last year too btw 😘 #every other piece i have recorded and ready to go but this one. die <3 #is this my own fault for waiting until literally the day of the deadline to so much as look at any of my music? yes. but i digress

[theflyingfeeling]

For some reason I was thinking about BC’s Fuck marry kill and how everyone else joked around but Joel was all serious about his ”I’d fuck Olli because he’s the most handsome” -answer 😭 like yes we been knew you’re sexually attracted to him (him filming him half naked doing yoga and all that) but. really?? 😭

(and for legal reasons this is a joke)

Joeeeeeellll your bisexuality is showing agaaiiinn 🙄

I mean, I'm convinced the whole fucking band is sexually attracted to Olli (who's completely oblivious to it and think the others are just messing with him) because who woudn't be, honestly?

Tommi commenting how Olli always looks good?

Niko saying Olli is the most handsome in the band?

Joonas having a whole-ass sexual awakening watching Olli paint a broccoli shamrock on his chest? (Yes, I may have stared at a gif of this for unreasonably long yesterday)

To conlcude, they all a little gay for Olli 💕

#we're ALL gay for olli aren't we 🥰 #although in joonas' defence he's a little gay for everyone #(also i don't just randomly stare at BC gifs in my freetime! i was looking for another picture and just came across that lol #hence i have a vivid image of it imprinted on my brain currently) #but WHERE is my yoga instructor!olli and beginner yoga trainee!joel fic?? #he enrolled for the beginner yoga class because his therapist and his mom and porko thought it might be good for him #(he's not quite as positive and porko would literally walk him to the yoga studio to drop him off like a child at day-care) #joonas is friends with olli of course so he just passes joel to him and leaves for his porko business #abandoning joel before he can do or say anything #(joel thought they were going for a record shop haul and now he knows how dogs must feel #when their owner tells them they're going to the park but really they're going to the vet) #joel understands his loved ones only want the best for him but he's not sure how a bit of strecthing is going to help him 🙄 #in fact stretching is the LAST thing he wants to be doing when he sees how thight the instructor's yoga pants are 😳 #so he spents the whole 30 minutes not knowing where to look 🙈 #(mostly he looks at the instructor's face because it's so devastatingly cute 😩) #and then the instructor pulls out a basket of wolly socks for the trainees to put on for the final relaxation #(well actually just for joel because apparently everyone else knew to bring their own. this is somehow porko's fault) #so joel nearly cries as he lays on the yoga mattress listening to olli's calm voice bc 1) he's actually feeling a little better already #and 2) he might have fallen in love a tiny bit 😭💞 #...okay i may need to write this myself actually #if y'all up for reading it? anyone at all?? 👉👈 #joelxolli #answered asks #anon asks

[inthegloomglow]

There’s literally one spoiler I want to know about totk and I hate how many others I’m stumbling on trying to find it.

#I know that’s my own fault for the record #loz #tears of the kingdom #Zelda #it's related to the story

[juriyuna]

I wonder if Rabi ever thinks about how if Urara had worded her wish differently, Shirogane would still be alive? The thought alone makes her feel guilty, so she'd never say it aloud- she knows that Urara made her wish while desperate and in pain, and that she already beats herself up enough for whiffing her chance at saving all of the victims of the bus crash- but... still, the possibility was there.

#magia record #himuro rabi #hc post #rabi wouldn't fault urara at all for wishing to save her best friend from a fatal accident #especially since kurara was actively dying #and she knows that it's pointless to dwell on the past #but when she's stargazing alone at night and getting lost in her own head #i feel like sometimes she'd remember urara's wish and have that little nagging thought of #''she could've saved my best friend too'' #not in a resentful way; in a wistful way #but the thought hangs around nonetheless

[haasegawa]

.

#oh my fucking god I gotta vent real quick here #'cause I'm icing my rl friends atm and need to get it off my chest #(I'm a bit frustrated with them rn) #anyway #life advice #do NOT go into business school if you don't wanna end up with project groups filled with incompetent people #men are ridiculously confident and do shit work completely incoherent with the syllabus #and I thought I was gonna ace with women-only group for another subject but guess what #I get that part of it is probably 'cause I'm in my last years and having classes with younger (frustrating as hell) years #so I'm lacking some patience probably #(for the record it's not 100% my fault I'm behind with the curriculum and taking these subjects) #but what makes everything worse #it's that I dislike almost all of this semester's professors #and in the classes I do take with people from my own year #bitches are like why don't we do this project at FUCKING ELEVEN PM #and yeah we all study and have jobs so time is scarce #but jesus christ can we pls schedule things ahead of time at least??? #and not with 1 hour (or less) in advance?? #got carried away #but I'm just so fucking annoyed #wow #tiny bit better just by writing it down

[sysig]

(Requestober) Could you draw something with Virgil from Portal Stories: Mel?? I played the game recently and he was my absolute favorite- such a fun design and personality! Maybe something where he's hanging out with Wheatley or Mel or the rainbow core? I was SO mad they made the player leave him at the end, so just anything where he gets to have a friend, really.

Day 6 - Still together

#My art #Requestober #Portal #Portal Stories: Mel #Virgil #Mel #I haven't actually beat PS:M yet so Yet More Spoilers from you lot!! Lol ♪ #S'my own fault haha I started that game how many years ago and I still haven't beaten it?? That's on me lol #It's been just about as long since I've drawn Mel or Virgil as well dang! #They are still quite cute ♥ Still a fun duo #Virgil is an absolute sweetheart and I still enjoy seeing him even outside of Portal Stories #It's been a bit since I rewatched the Meet the Cores series but not long enough to forget my happiness at seeing him haha #Mel too but she's harder to come by haha #I really should take another crack at this game - I got stuck probably near-ish the end and was too proud to look up a walkthrough haha #And now I'm so out of practice that I'm worried I wouldn't even be able to get to that point ahhh #I suppose I won't know if I don't try tho hehe #Oh yeah and today's recording? Flawless #Of course #Once again didn't change a single setting