#getting tired of conservative music bullshit

[loosechips]

.

#say a prayer we’re running that solo homo transgender gauntlet tonight #getting tired of conservative music bullshit #being taken seriously vs being met with disgust. how to reinvent ourselves outside ‘acceptability’ #please submit your thoughts on how to effectively convince the department to use they/them for me ♡ #literally there’s like 4 transgenders in this entire progressive school. only 1 other in classical performance #btw if tchaik is ur idea of gay rep in classical music. sorry but 🔫 #why are ppl so obsessed with looking to the past. they’re all dead man. they mean nothing #living queer composers exist. reclaim old compositions that awakened your queerness

[roo-bastmoon]

Really tired of people saying "Taehyung and Jungkook would set you on fire/choose Jimin over you" to Jimin antis, when at this point it's pretty clear that THEY WOULDN'T. Their actions these days are loud and clear. They don't care about Jimin or how their shippers treat him. . And I know people are gonna be like "tae and kook are not responsible for how delusional tkkers interpret their actions" but I 100% believe that's bullshit. They ARE responsible, and they don't care.

Hmm. I can’t fault you for having thoughts like this because when I see some of the over the top on-stage /camera flirting, I’ve had similar thoughts: that they want attention, regardless of how it affects others.

But I don’t think it affects Jimin the way it would you or me. Because BTS doesn’t have to wade through Twitter hate comments if they don’t want to (they have a social media marketing department for that).

In the end, I’ve come to two conclusions:

1. Tae and JK do touchy feely flirty shippy kissy huggie stuff with ALL the members quite often. It only rubs raw when it’s Taekookery because the cult gets so whipped up and vicious about it. So there is hyper focus on the maknae because folks have a point to prove. But if you look at the full picture, they all glomp and tease each other to varying degrees and they all have unique intimacy and chemistry. Unless you believe in polytan, it doesn’t necessarily indicate sexual interest.

2. Jimin seems totally unbothered and I let him be my guide. I’ve only seen him look upset by Taekookery twice—once when the were off in their own world playing with flower crowns and being disrespectful by ignoring fans, and again in a lineup after a black swan music video interview where JK seemed to be smirking and making a point of back hugging Tae for like 30 seconds (while staring at Jimin, waiting for a reaction). In both cases Jimin looked disappointed and confused by it, maybe a bit hurt. Not jealous, just not cool with it. But every other time those two are up to stuff, Jimin seems to have no problem with it, so I follow his lead and just think of it as K-pop antics.

If you think about it, these guys have almost no one else in the world who is truly a peer—no one else who is a multimillionaire and a global trendsetter who operates in the fishbowl of a conservative country and is constantly under attack online while living a rockstar lifestyle… no one in Korea is on their level. They’ve forged bonds through fires we can only imagine. I think it would take absolute betrayal to undo those bonds now.

If Jimin felt mistreated, I am certain he would speak up for himself eventually. (Jimin is kind but not weak; he seems allergic to disrespect and I think he would let the two younger members have it, if he sensed apathy and rudeness from them—just my take on his personality). Half the time he drapes himself over Tae during rehearsals in a way that would have Taekookers frothing at the mouth if it were their preferred pairing. The rest of the time Tae looks at Jimin like he hung the moon.

So whatever is going on, they are okay with each other. I sense zero animosity, anger, or jealousy among the maknae. I think maybe they just have no concept of normal boundaries, particularly Tae. (For gods sake, Tae invited Wooga for a sleepover and expected them all to share one bed like that’s normal—that’s not normal, but they went with it, because it’s Tae.)

I think we have to remind ourselves we only see a very small slice of their lives and we honestly don’t know much about how they are with each other off screen. But Jikook seemed just fine with each other on White Day and those nights in the Vegas bbq joint and at the DC arcade. There’s been a sad lack of weekly content for months and they don’t seem to be in each other’s pockets as much with the content we do have right now. So if you worry that things between them are changing, I’m right there with you.

Could be for a lot of reasons but I don’t think Taekook is one of them. They are all born performers who like pleasing fans and they are all flirty with each other. So I really hesitate to ascribe malice to people who have consistently said and shown genuine affection for each other for a decade.

When I watch Vmin or Jikook clips, I do believe they would cheerfully choose Jimin over toxic “fans” any day. Maybe, if you want, try to counterbalance some of the selfish crazy awfulness of the ship wars by watching content where Tae and JK show blatant love and admiration for our Jimin. There’s tons out there to take in. It’s been helping me to separate what the boys do (what they are responsible for) from what people online twist it to mean (what they are not responsible for).

<3 Don’t go down a dark path, Nonie. I’m not saying to ignore reality. I’m just saying focus mostly on what brings you joy. Our Jimin says he is happy right now. Let’s trust him.

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

I want to be in my own home. 

I want to have a little goth garden and an herb garden. 

I want a dark cottagecore kitchen where my husband and I can cook and bake and inhabit without watching what we talk about or hoping someone else doesn’t say or listen to bullshit we have to ignore.

I want to play music and turn the volume up and dance around the whole place.

I want to figure out my own style.

I want to walk freely no matter the time, no matter the room, and be surrounded by my own aesthetic, my own furnishings, my own safe place.

I want to craft and get my hands dirty.

I want to read on the sofa while my husband plays video games, and we’re not holed up in a room for either our own privacy or to avoid conservative propaganda. 

I want to have my own side business being creative.

I want to figure out who I am.

I want to be fully and wholly myself in my own space, to come home and be queer without fear.

And I am so tired of that being so far from reach.

[castrateurfate]

gatekeeping has always been a key-part of punk. idk if anybody needs to hear that. one of the best songs by one of the most influential punk bands, dead kennedys, is literally about telling nazi punks and jock-punks to fuck right off.

i am just tired of fucking posers. i don't care what you say, if you are a fucking poser i'll point it out.

punk is political. punk is more than fashion and music. it's an ideology. get the fuck out of here with this apolitical/conservative bullshit.

posers, nazis, conservative...

FUCK. OFF.

[jojo-stardust]

Venting again

Well, after I “came out” to my mum, I started feeling a lot better and a lot more secure in my gender identity, I had proper masc and fem days and was able to live accordingly which was nice.

Somehow, since last week I’ve been lacking energy. It started with me just feeling very masc and not enjoying wearing fem clothes and makeup. That was fine, I figured I was just having masc days and that was it. But then I started feeling bad about my appearance again, I wanted to look more fem; but at the same time, I didn’t have energy to shave my legs, much less wear makeup. I was just in a stasis and I couldn’t do anything.

Then the weekend rolled around. As ususal, since it’s a holiday, my family had a reunion. Now, I have a bit of a history with some of my family members, and while both sides have been making an effort to mend our relationship, they are very headstrong people with strong political and personal views. They are German conservative, which is to say they aren’t denying things like homosexuality or transgender, and even have compassion, but also think of them in an old-fashioned way. In between, I casually mentioned I was on the ace spectrum, and they were like “that isn’t real” like I guess I’m fictional, but whatever, that wasn’t too bad. Now, I’ve been hiding my own gender issues from them, but I’ve had to have “the talk” about my fingernails and earring. That was fine and all in the past. The weekend was exhausting, but not so much because it was bad, I’m just introverted and can’t really relax when I’m around anyone besides my mum. So I came back home fairly late on Monday, tired but fine. it’s a little frustrating, because it feels so unequal. They often act like they are making such a big effort to mend our distance by investing all that time and money, and to be clear, I’m very grateful for that! But I’m investing equally much time and money, and they have yet to just accept that I don’t fit into their upper class neat and tidy world where words have hidden blades and confidentiality stands only when we see eye to eye. 

Well, I also set my whatsapp profile picture to a picture of me in fairly heavy makeup and my choker, which I wear because it makes my throat look less masculine. Apparently that was the straw that breaks the camel’s back, because I was messaged about how that was questionable, I should seek help and that certain things should be kept private. I guess they took the heavy blush and choker as a sign that I was a sub. Now, while I don’t mind the topic or the people involved, I’m not. And the way they confront issues is... infuriating. They bust down the proverbial door and go for hard confrontation, ignore any attempt at consolation, guilt trip by taking every correction as a personal attack and then just walk off leaving the topic unconcluded, no matter if I concede, stand my ground or just try to correct the misunderstanding. And it sucks, because I am nowhere near secure enough to handle it. It lives in my mind rent-free and won’t let me rest until it’s settled.

If you are reading this, you know I’m talking to you. I hate when you do that, it’s the reason I couldn’t handle it back then as well. I barely got any sleep because your reaction kept me awake. I get that you were tired, but maybe don’t rip a can open if you can’t handle the content. I still haven’t gotten over it. I’m still an anxious wreck. Please, I appreciate your concern, but you stress me out so much whenever you do this. Please just learn to communicate. Not your shrouded “discussing secrets at a party” bullshit, just clear, simple communication. We’re family, not investors sneaking a hint at their next moves. If you can’t tell me to my face, then don’t bother telling me at all.

I just can’t handle stuff right now. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I’m not even sure of myself, I’ve been questioning who I even am for two years now, I finally figured out my gender identity and my fashion style and taste in music and all of that just hasn’t been bringing me any joy at all. I’m just so tired. There’s nothing secure to hold on to in my life, or rather, the few things I can hold on to just feel so wrong and I’d rather lose myself than rely on them. I’m so lost.

[nyaruhodou]

let's go over this one more time. time? we ran out of it a while ago. inspector if you cant find the murderer, i suggest wrapping this up. (yeah) my guests and i grow tired of your department's incompetence. shut your monopoly ass up. this is a homicide and we're not mall cops, alright? (the hell?) and right now you're acting like one suspicious milk mustache bitch. who's this asshole? your worst FUCKIN nightmare. you'll have to excuse jimmy here he's a rookie detective from AAU. second team, all state. the killer broke in the room by jumping from the balcony of a neighboring window. self explanatory from there. (oh god no!) c'mon that'sa 20 foot gap. no one could make that! if you 50/50 and boneless off the rail, you can. (dammit.) well you got the 'how', but who did it? goin by the alibis, only one person here coulda done it. yeah, and? ...sitting right there. uhhh i'm in a wheelchair, kid. you might wanna check your math on that one. yeah check your geography. ah shit! you're not crippled!? jesus christ! A-A-R-I-P. alright let's get outta here before SNL starts. fuck you whores! yo hold up! you have the right to remain silent. anything you- jimmy you can't read miranda rights to a corpse. ya did great, kid. now just work on that ego. what good's bein the one if you're the only one who knows it? (you got that from j. cole.) (i wanna waterboard my dad.) (ayyyy 103.4, the whitest hip hop on air.) oh, god. hey man, it's 2 pm, could you keep it down? oh sorry, jimmy, i was just making pipe bombs out of 4loko and nail polish. sick. (and i'm sick and tired of your bitchass boyfriend, too!) (dad, just chill the fuck out.) god damn dammit! gahhhh! he's the first world famous sleuth out of high school. ehhh he's a fuckin hack. what, just cuz he's young? you know who else came out of high school? lebron james. guess what happened to him. ummmmm, well- GUESS!!! what happened to lebron james, dad? lost the FUCKIN NBA finals! alright. RAGHHHHHH! i still don't get why you quit the soccer team. cuz soccer's bullshit. i dunno, you were pretty good. (i like classical music.) yeah but it's like sherlock holmes always said: any sport where you can't use your hands is conservative propaganda. ...yeah. you might not realize it but sherlock was on some next level shit. y-yknow, here's a dude who played violin AND made the double snapback fashionable. that downey jr movie kinda sucked? yeah maybe but sherlock didn't get this fanmail. how many of those girls are 18? oh.... (fuck, my tic-tacs). why did we come here again? it's fun. this place is for babies. so by 1989 sherlock was number ONE in the country, the youngest in the history- jimmy i really don't give a shit. oh did i mention roller coasters are stupid? let's ride this joint. how the hell d'you get decapitated on a roller coaster. we didn't do nothin, let us go. walking around a theme park in a trench coat makes you suspect for anything. like, i bit my tongue five minutes ago and i think you did it. (he's lookin for trouble.) okay, so 5 passengers but only 3 of em had the reach to do it. what do ya think, jimmy? i already got it figured out. oh, yeah? well then, who? the killer is... that chick! ehh...... she was further away than anyone, what the FUCK are you talkin about!? lemme show you. it's true. if i couldn't have him, nobody can, so i KILLED him! a-actually, i was just joking, but, y'know, way to confess without a lawyer. (fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!) hey i know we're in babyland but you don't have to act like one too. someone just DIED, jimmy. jeez, all your video games made you a sociopath. huh? hm... hey i know you're in need but i gotta jump a bitch, see ya! what the hell, ma? (jimmy... those are nice MN3s.) hey there man, you got the stuff? yeah, i got the stuff. you wanna see it? lay it on me, large man. alright here it is: ten million unmarked dave and buster's bucks. yeah. alright now your end of the deal. the fuck are you doin? huh? ngh! eric, what the hell! sorry dylan i didn't know he was followin me! don't worry about it i got the black market's newest poison.

one cap of this and he's gone for good. get your heavy head over here. yeahhhh drink that kool-aid jammer. aight lets get the fuck outta here. ey ya heard that? yeah it sounded like a coupla trench coats. (ugh... oh my god...) ah nah its just some boy. ('boy', am i in fuckin georgia?) dont worry boy we'll take ya home. (i'm white but this still feels racist.) eyyyyyyy what's goin on? jesus christ what'd you DO all night? Not Another Teen Movie marathon. wh- they only made one of those! yeah, i watched it 3 times. y'know if molly ringwald died in the 80s she'd be like meryl streep right now. that almo... no that didn't make any sense. (what were those cops calling me again?) huh? what!? (oh, that's great.) shit! why- what the... oh, wait... (those trench coat guys... that poison they had...) i really gotta get home. (ey you've reached the jim jam jimmy man always detective signed to young money ymca represent) oh, no. it's been 5 years and he still hasn't changed his answering machine. told you your boyfriend was a fuckin mathlete moron. hngggggh ngh huh? ah shit! doc, what's going on? who are you? what are you talking about? it's me, jimmy. yeah very funny, run along. no, i'm not fuckin around! you're dr randy agasa. 53 years old. you make bullshit experiments and collect checks from the government. wha- why would jimmy tell you a thing like that!? I'M jimmy, you fat, four-eyed, fuck-faced loser! eh- only jimmy makes me feel THAT insecure. but yeah that's one helluva trip, man. yeah why do you have clothes for 6 year olds lying around? jimmy just do me a favor and NEVER ASK THAT AGAIN. (anyone home?) huh? quick, hide! hey, what are you doing here. oh you know, just fuckin around with my desk. grrrr.... huh? you tryin to hide something? uh... hey there, what's your name? co... nan.... yeah conan. conan? kid, your parents suck. they do! social services dumped him off on me as his only living relative. well that's rough. you can stay with us if you want. would you like that, conan? uh, no? (this is bullshit.) so like, what do you do for fun? uhhhh nothing much. do you have a girlfriend? do you have a restraining order? what's this? your new home. oh, cool. (smells like cup noodles with bleach.) rachel you'll never believe what happened- fuckin shit! new job, new client. hop yourself in the cab, bring the kid too! wow, alright. taxi!!! mm! wait up! so we hopped in the cab to check out some case with a rich guy's daughter kidnapped and jesus christ, money makes people CRAZY. some shit went down and uh, long story short, i live with my girlfriend and her dad rent free.

and it's a pretty sweet deal.

#taste closed thursday

[thewhizzyhead]

you very much Should Keep going (if you’d like) I’m reading your tags like 👀👀👀 I wanna know More!!!

dude believe me i only just thought up 90% 9f this while doing my math homework last night so yea this is very barebones and this is very very new have very little to offer but um imma try to explain a bit more fjdjdc SO ANYWAYS GRADE 11

Warning: this is very long and I am very sorry aaAAAA also i only just thought of this last night and a while ago while attending class so um yea it's chaotic.

the songs i've mentioned so far in the tag ramble aren't um consecutive so yeah there are a lot of blank spaces in between fjsjsj and yea I haven't figured out the other leads and their arcs yet (probably 5-6 leads). for now um the planned songs feature 3 of the leads:

Kate - basically answers the question of What If Eva Sanchez Was The Protagonist and What If Eva Sanchez Saw The Hell That Is Don't Even (in this show, this song is called "Anakpota?" or "The Fuck?"); she's a transferee and is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the new school environment; her reasons for transferring run a bit deeper than just "humanities is a lot more interesting than stem or business shits"; i guess her main character themes are burnout, the want for childlike wonder again and overcoming the fear that comes with chasing what you really want and no i am definitely not self projecting what are you guys talking about smh rhhdhs /hj (altho i admit that this is loosely based on my own experience with deciding to transfer schools) and yea she's a very closeted lesbian that slowly starts to comes out to others and to herself more throughout the course of the show. and also she gets a girlfriend YAY

Noel - rn i don't have that much planned out for him cause u know barebones plot but so far um i guess he's the chill dude, overall good guy, rantaro amami from danganronpa v3 vibes, and he's initially framed as the "love interest" for Kate esp in the song "Ikaw Ba Ay..." or "Are You..." (i wanted that to be a play on the typical Filipino Teen Hetero Romance CAUSE THAT SHIT IS IN EVERYWHERE JFJSJD I AM GONNA MAKE A WHOLEASS RANT ON THAT SOON AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME) but surprise motherfucker BOTH OF THEM ARE GAY AND BOTH BOND OVER IT AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS YAY WOOOO i kinda want him to be like the typical "Filipino Teen Heartthrob" star student with the twist being that he's gay and not make that a throwaway joke cause um yea that's a throwaway joke here that someone who is real catch for the heteros but is actually gay is "sayang" or "worthless" here.

Ella - ngl she is probably gonna end up as the main lead here fjdjd i'd say she has riley+chess vibes aka The School's Hotshot Achiever and Student Leader That Is Very Intimidating But Is Actually Really Freaking Kind and i guess with a dash of Kate Dalton-ish snark. Like i said the plot is barebones rn so i dunno anything but i do imagine them being the one that drives the plot forward due to her outspokenness. I also imagine her to be the one (along with Noel) that makes Kate a lil bit more comfortable with her sexuality and yup you guessed it Ella is gay too (bi to be specific oh and she uses she/they pronouns) and altho still a bit closeted, they're a bit more comfy with it. also they become Kate's gf yay!

those are the leads that i have kinda planned out so far but yea i still gotta expound kna lot of atuff and make up more leads for this but then again i just started conceptualizing this last night so ANYWAYS HERE ARE THE OTHERS SONGS THAT I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT UP LAST NIGHT (aside from the ones already mentioned)

+ "Nakakapanibago" or "Well This Is New" - Ella and Kate work together on a school project aaand gay panic ensues. both of them take turns in addressing the audience and panicking over each other in um er an "Oh My God She's Very Fucking Cute What The Fuck" way. it kinda has What Is This Feeling from Wicked vibes if you remove the aggression and antagonization jdjsd and i kinda emphasize on how overwhelmed they are cause for Kate, everything - from the school to the subjects to the people - is new and her attraction to Ella is like a cherry bomb on top of a chaos cake while for Ella, who has studied in the school since kindergarten which is why nothing about the school fazes her anymore, Kate is a literal breath of fresh air and the spontaneity scares them and excites them at the same time. The number is comedic (and is chance for me to add a shit ton of wordplay cause yAY WORDPLAY) but i guess also hints at their fears which will definitely come into play later.

+ "Mabuting Laban" or "Good Fight" - a group number led by Ella, this is the first song in the musical that isn't mostly comedic. like um the musical so far (before this song) is mostly somewhat of a parody-just-for-laughs-don't-take-this-seriously piece but with this, the show finally hints to something a lot more serious and insightful. so basically ella tells kate (this scene comes right after the Nakakapanibago sequence) that they have noticed that the latter is um very very shocked at the blatant show of LGBTQ+ stuff. Kate mentions that altho many students have since then spoke up for LGBTQ+ acceptance, things were a lot more conservative back in her former school (once again wooo definitely not self projection /hj) so like seeing all this is very new to her. Ella then mentions that things weren't always like that - a lot of fighting had to be done in order to get to that point. and because most of the students already were branded with a rebellious reputation (for a lot of delinquent behavior), they really didn't give a fuck anymore if they were being controversial or not. What mattered was that they would make the school environment a lot more welcoming for themselves and for others. That sentiment is also shared by other leads singing along as they go out of their way to ensure a much better environment for everyone (in terms of lgbtq+ rights, undoing the stigmatization of mental health matters, student activism yadda yadda)

(oh and also this kinda serves as something that bridges the prejudices between the two schools since Ella's school is famous for a lot of student delinquency while Kate's former school is famous for being known as the "Best School In The Region With The Best Students" (which is why Ella understands why the students in Kate's school are a bit more hesitant to speak up because Kate's former schoolmates got way too much to lose) and the rivalry those schools have with each other cause students from ella's school think those from kate's school are pompous little shits while those from kate's school think that ella's schoolmates are delinquents and yes this is commentary on the dynamic my former school'scstudents and my current school's students share) (i should probably give this its own song)

+ "Ayoko" or " I Don't Want It" - (this does not come right after Mabuting Laban fjsjd i honestly dunno where to put this) this comes right after a conversation regarding her reputation in her former school and yea this is Kate poking fun at the "I Want" song musical trope. Like um she addresses the audience saying something along the lines of "oooohh wow complicated backstory exposition! you are probably expecting a song rn ala "How Far I'll Go" from Moana but guess what bitches fuck you all cause i'm gonna sing a song about the things I don't want just to fucking annoy you." it starts off as incredibly satirical and um Kate Dalton-vibes all throughout the scene with lots of pettiness which will then gradually transition to her singing about how she threw all the opportunities presented to her by the former school just because she really didn't want to do them and was tired of saying "yes" just to be enough for them. She then starts singing about her taking control of her own narrative by finally leaving the school. She still laments about those lost opportunities and admits that she still kinda wants to pursue those, but if she has to sacrifice rest for greatness, then she doesn't want it. The song ends with a verse akin to most I Want songs as she finally admits what she really wants the most: rest and wonder.

also here's a verse i made up just a while ago

Diyos ko, sabihin mo, ano pa ang kailangan kong gawin/upang mabawi ang mga ninakaw sa akin/upang maibalik ang pag-asang nawala/upang sa wakas ako'y makakapagpahinga/sapagkat hindi na ako nagnanais ng kadakilaan/ang hinihingi ko lamang ay ang aking kabataan

translation (i'll try my best to make it rhyme): My God, tell me, what else do i have to do/so I can take back all that they have taken from me/so that I can bring back the hope I've long so been deprived of/so that for once in my life, I'll be able to breathe/ cause I no longer want all the greatness that you say I could've had/ I only want to wonder, I only want my childhood back

+ "Halos Lagi Nalang"or "Almost Always The Same" - if this sounds familiar yes i rambled about this before gjdjdjd I started conceptualizing this song even before i even started conceptualizing the musical. So yea this is in Act 2 the song starts with mentioning the exhaustion that comes with being an LGBTQ+ teen in the philippines cause yup same old conservative religious bullshit same old same old shit and despite many a lot of people advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, nothing ever changes around here because well conservative religious bullshit. so yea this is kind of an extension of "Good Fight" but make it more about the burnout felt by a lot of teens that want something better than whatever we have right now. Then it will also apply to the other causes that the leads fight for (activism,destigmatization of mental health stuffs, etc). I'd say it's a combination of Before the Breakdown + Move On musically speaking (yea PMA has influenced me by a LOT). eventually this becomes one of the star numbers fo the show cause yea all the leads will do a shit ton of singing and harmonizing (but for here i'd say Noel and Kate have a tiny bit more of the spotlight since for now they are the ones with the very LGBTQ+ based plotlines). I really REEAAALLY want this song to work aaaa i've been playing around with the melody a lot recently and if i can't write the whole musical, then i'll be content with at the very least writing this song

+ "Try Lang Natin" or "Let's Try It Out" - this is a very barebones sequence atm but basically it's a scene where both Kate and Ella come to terms with their fears related to uncertainty and go "fuck it we don't know jackshit about the future anyway so why not ondulge a bit and ejoy what we have today" and decide to start going out with each other YAYYYYY and also this is like one of the few scenes here were Ella is much more visibly nervous compared to everyone else in the scene so yay for helping each other come to terms with their own vulnerabilities WOOOOO (also paige i remember you saying once that kate and eva could've had a Forever reprise duet right? And correct me if i'm wrong but i think u said it could be about eva assuring kate that she won't go anywhere? WELP I'M STEALING THAT JFJSJJDF /lh /hj AND YUP KATE AND ELLA ARE BASICALLY UM KINDA KATEVA IF YOU SQUINT SO THANK YOU PAIGE FOR THAT IDEAAAA)

AND THAT'S IT SO FAR WOO THIS TOOK ME 5 HOURS TO TYPE IT ALL OUT FJDJSJFF i'm kinda impressed with this ngl considering that i literally started making this up last night and i hope that i can make something out of it woo

And if you guys somehow reached the end of the post and have read every single thing, I'm sending you a lot of hugs and a lot of milkshakes

#paige i am so so sorry it took a long time and i am so sorry that the response is VERY VERY LONG DJXJS #but i hope you liked it! #the ask cheered me up btw fjsjx like i wasnt expecting anyone to be interested but then u sent the ask and YAY KRKDJ #if anyone has any questions or comments or anythjng then um feel free to um hit me up with them YAYYYYY #okay to rb btw if you wanna express ur opinions in the tags #i like hearing other people's opinions on my rambles so feel free to do so if you wanna #thanks for the ask paigeee #paige! (literally riley) #ask me stuff #hmm i should make a tag for this #Izzy's rambles and shit #yea that

[purplesurveys]

1213

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? Nah. The coldest I’ve experienced was probably something like 10 or 11ºC, when I was in Japan. At the time I still didn’t care too much for traveling and ended up being really underdressed for the weather, so I was extremely uncomfortable the whole time we were roaming around the city. Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? LOL yes, notably on the last night of my college internship. My car was parked in another building so I had to walk outdoors, when all of a sudden it fucking poured. I ran to the nearest building for shelter but I was still absolutely drenched and ended up having to call my mom (who works in the same city) to ask her to come pick me up.

What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Chocnut or milk chocolate.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Once in a blue moon. I had my ex over all the time but since then I’ve only had one friend - Angela - come over once.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? I mean, we’re very open with each other with regard to our frustrations at work.  That could technically count as unprofessional but I’m honestly just glad we don’t have to be fake around one another and pretend like everything’s dandy.

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? Just once, for my dad’s birthday. We stayed in Tagaytay for a weekend though we Airbnb’d a condo unit and not a hotel.

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Nah. I could try but I’m too afraid of not being able to support myself and accidentally breaking my neck or something.

What about a flip off of a diving board? Nope.

Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? No. I barely look at them and I’m sure people barely look at yearbooks too.

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? My grandma.

Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? 8,067. There used to be around 10,000 but I had a ‘huge’ deleting spree that brought it down to around 6,000 – but clearly I’ve brought it back up again lol.

Do you think dimples are cute? Yes, super.

Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? It’s whatever. They all lost their taste anyway.

The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? Just me. That’s usually the case nowadays.

What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Pogs.

Have you watched a movie today? I haven’t watched a movie since like September.

Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? Angela’s, but it was super brief as I only went in to greet her parents.

Do you love soft pretzels? Yep, that’s how I prefer my pretzels as well.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? I really have no clue. I haven’t been around too many people in such a long time, much less people who’ve cried in front of me. I want to say maybe Gabie???? during one of our last meet-ups. The name feels so foreign now.

Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? After.

Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? Giving people cards isn’t much of a tradition here. We’d much rather get you a physical gift altogether.

When was the last time you were being hypocritical? I probably do it without realizing, so I can’t say exactly when.

Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? Fortunately I haven’t had one in a while but I usually get cramps on my neck and shoulders after a whole day at work.

What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? My sister went to school with this girl whose name was her surname in reverse.

Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? Yeah. I’m not confident in my singing, so I never sing around people and it would embarrass me if I was ever caught/heard.

Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I try to be. It works for some people.

Do you have any exercises you do everyday? Nah.

Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? I don’t know what this is referring to.

Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? No one has accused me; at least not to my face. As for the second question, I’m sure I have one or two; I’ve just never gotten myself professionally checked.

Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? Yabu because I was craving; paid with my own money. It actually feels pretty weird because Yabu had been mine and my ex’s thing, and I haven’t had their food since the breakup. I’m looking forward to having it again tonight and finally changing the narrative for it.

Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? I don’t like to do it but I’ll sometimes do it if I wanna feel relaxed. No, it wouldn’t bother them too much.

Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I don’t listen to them.

Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Not really, but I have nothing against it.

Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yep.

Are you more of a dog or cat person? Dog.

Have you ever failed math? Just the advanced courses, like calculus, back in high school. I find math pretty fun and easy if I get the topic and know the formulas; but if I find something hard, it’s very difficult for me to keep up. There’s really no in between haha I either pass with flying colors or absolutely flop.

Skittles! What's your favorite color? Whichever’s not too sour. Idk, I never buy Skittles.

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? Nope but I used to have nightmares of watching my loved ones get shot.

What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? That I had fun.

Can you sleep with the light on? Only if I’m pissed tired. Otherwise bright lights would bother me.

What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? I know my answer won’t count as it doesn’t technically fall under horror, but Eraserhead was just very bizarre and unsettling. I’ve never seen the whole film without pausing several times.

What band can’t you stand listening to? Again, this probably won’t count as they’re a boy band/group more than anything, but I cannot stand The Vamps.

Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? Yeah, sure, I guess, for fun. I think those are mostly bullshit anyway so I’ll only take a test with bullshit questions as well.

What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Those genres never really were my cup of tea.

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? We had two lovebirds some years ago. They were lovely, but idk if we’d do it again. No reason, just that we prefer dogs.

How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? It’s great, even with my maternal grandpa who’s already passed. But I’m well aware of the fact that they’re also a bit wary of me since I’m the most vocal and outspoken of all their grandchildren, whereas they’re intensely conservative and traditional. Still, I always feel their love, especially through food and how they always make sure to stuff me whenever I come over haha.

Ever had a forbidden love or lover? In a sense, yeah. I was in a same-sex relationship that I hid from my family for four years.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral?  I’ve never been to a funeral but I doubt I could speak at one without breaking down.

Do you know someone who’s been cremated?  Yes, my grandpa was cremated.

What is your current problem?  Just some deliverables at work that I would rather not think about now.

Do you like canopy beds?  Eh, I don’t mind them.

What is your favorite animated movie?  Toy Story.

Would you rather live in a small town or a big city?  Big city. I need lots of noise, lots of activity and lights where I live. I’ve lived in suburban neighborhoods all my life and I would love a change in pace.

If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why?  Idk.

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls?  I’ve watched snippets and it’s HILARIOUS. I’ve always wanted to start the series but never knew where to watch it.

Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Was never into it, no.

Last alcoholic drink you had?  Peach soju and plum soju that got me absolutely hammered.

What are you known for?  These days, probably for doing an extreme 180 and having my life be all about BTS now.

Has anyone ever threatened you?  Yes.

Have you ever gone frog hunting?  No? Doesn’t sound like my type of activity at all.

Do you ever suffer from dry skin?  Yeah my face is a little dry, but I don’t think it’s something I ‘suffer’ from since no issues have come out of it so far. It’s just the way it is.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal?  Not a stuffed animal but I need to hug a pillow to fall asleep.

What’s the weather like right this moment?  It’s weather that says “it’s gonna get really hot in an hour or so” and I’m not enjoying that very much.

Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks?  If there’s no trash can around, I tend to.

In what type of area was your first sexual encounter?  It was in a hotel.

Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from?  Just somewhere in the Philippines.

What do you occupy your time with on flights?  I’m honestly really happy with just staring out the window. If not that, I bring something to read or listen to music. I haven’t had a flight that lasted 6+ hours, but I imagine I would also bring my laptop for a series or movies to watch if I find myself in that situation.

Do you dog-ear pages in books?  Yup.

What’s a made up word of yours?  I don’t think I have any.

Do you use Q-Tips?  I do.

Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like?  No. I don’t think I could bring myself to do that.

What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song?  I don’t really like content with a hero/ine plot.

What makes you dizzy?  Amusement park rides, car rides, headaches.

Are your parents liberal or conservative?  Conservative.

Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces?  Not my middle teeth, but in general yeah. I did have braces but I lost my retainers at one point so my teeth just went back to their original position eventually.

Are you happy with your height?  It’s fine. I’m small but it’s the average here so I don’t really complain.

#survey #surveys

[murdersexual]

So about that part II to that LeoPika fic? 👀👀👀

WTF, BOI THIS IS TRASH! Stop torturing me, my writing is t r a s h.

🚨Warning!🚨

-Rated MA.

-Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling and Gun Violence.

-NOT PROOFREAD! (Like I write shit on a tired 3am brain...)

-NICKNAMES: Koi Fish/Fishie/Fishy: Leorio. Smol Ram or whatever else I used: Kurapika.

-Sorry for any potential OOC bullshit- 🤣🤣🤣

-Sorry but not sorry for Melody- 👀😤🤣

Part II: The Whims of Fate:

Melody didn’t know how to feel, her eyes grew to the size of saucers as she saw how fast Leorio was moving. She backed away, now hanging her phone up, she tries to make her escape via the glass door elevator. Her tiny chubby hand desperately clicks onto the up button. Her own heart played a melody of guilt and fear. But that’s what you get when you snitch.

‘I-I gotta get outta here!’

“MELODY!”

The way Leorio’s voice projected echoed across the entirety of the sixth floor. Hearing him yell like that shook her to her core in more than just one way. She drew a shaky breath and her eyes flicker to the angry hazel eyed hunter and back to the elevator that seems to be moving in slow motion.

“Come on... C-Come on!”

Impatience coats her voice as she now stands directly in front of the door.

“I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!! HOW CAN’T YOU?!”

His voice boomed once more, his soft hair now waving over one of his eyes only for him to use his left hand to push it out of the way. Now he’s even more pissed... Why?

Because she ruined his ‘SURPRISE MOTHAFUCKAH’—in other words, his grand entrance.

Yet because she absolutely is f o n d of Kurapika, she’d do anything to protect him. How adorable. Maybe there’s something else that lingers in her actions...

“Why are you here, Leorio?!”

Finally, she projects her voice even though that nervousness is still present. Just as she asks that, Leorio steps in front of her. The elevator clicks open and he takes her by her collar and shoves her into it.

“WHY?!”

Obviously, she avoided the question. He KNEW she knew why he was there otherwise she would’ve given him a friendly greeting and not snitch. Her onyx orbs bore into his icy gaze. She could hear the anger emitting from his heart and she ended up closing her ears and shutting her eyes.

“Be-Because you shouldn’t be here!”

Her answer made him wonder... Yet, he didn’t release her collar. His hold can be compared to that of a death grip.

“Urgh! That ain’t tellin’ me shit! I oughta throw your ass in the fucking fountain for snitching!”

Leorio’s hands are rated E for Everybody. Meaning he WILL absolutely drop a woman off if necessary.

“I... I-! My lips are sealed! Now unhand me!”

The infamous saying that typically gets passed about when classified information is detailed to anyone that’s within a Mafia. Upon hearing that, he roughly shoves her away, the back of her head slightly bouncing off of the elevator railing.

“Ow...”

A hiss of pain left Melody, a glare is given to him as she now reaches inside her tuxedo jacket for her brand new revolver but she stops just as she places her hand on the handle.

“Do it if you’re bad...”

The entire scenario played in her head had she shot him. Her eyes blinked multiple times—seeing her death being played out in several different perspectives. Lowering her head in defeat, she adjusts her fedora and finally tells him...

“8th floor, Roulette Table number 403.”

Huh, does that number ring a damn bell?

Pressing the fancy gold button with the bold number 8 on it, a scoff emits from the fish as he now stands to the side with his eyes forward. Putting his hands in his pockets and standing coolly, he sighs while tapping his foot impatiently.

“Hmph... Ya could’ve just told me that shit from the beginning and I wouldn’t have to damn near rough you up.”

Staring at her shiny black small heeled Oxford tux shoes, she blinks while taking a second to realise that there’s always an easier way to do things. Why didn’t she play it cool? Could she have lied about this? Did her feelings cloud her judgment?

“And that I could’ve but had the circumstances been different? Then by all means. You really... REALLY shouldn’t be here...”

Nothing annoyed him more than to hear those words without no fucking why to follow. Deep down, he believes she’s probably the only one concerned about the type of trouble he’d get himself in. That or maybe there’s a hint of jealousy?

“I will only say this for the simple fact that your heart reflects impatience and curiosity: It’s for your own good. If you get mixed with any of the other families? Who will be there to save you? Nobody.”

A smirk curves onto his face, now recalling how he’s caused a lot of inconvenience on the second floor all the way up. He softly chuckles, his head dropping for a second. The doors chime and open as they reach the eighth floor. Walking out first and turning to face Melody, he gives a shrug before backing away.

“Who’s to say that I haven’t already stirred the whims of fate~?”

Melody’s breath hitches in her throat, her eyes widening only for her to smirk and watch him with softened eyes.

“You’re dressed like a really handsome Devil tonight, that told me enough, Mr. Leorio~”

Looking over his shoulder briefly, he waves his hand.

“Just call me Leorio! But don’t think I’m gonna forget that you’ve snitched! I’m letting you off easy because I gotta conserve energy for this fucker!”

Momentarily, she found herself chasing after that Angel in Disguise. Shaking her head quickly with a soft blush, she clicks the number six and heads back to her post.

‘I always find myself attracted to those with charisma that’s relative to that of the Devil himself~ I must say, had my looks never been deformed, I’m sure I’d play him a melody that even he would have a hard time forgetting.’

The doors closed and she was gone.

Finding himself standing just before the entrance. His hazel gaze softened as he felt some feminine hands reach up to his shoulders.

“Welcome~ Shall I take your coat sire~?”

Glancing behind him, he sees a ginger bunny babe with the sweetest of smiles. He took out his favourite pocketknife and placed it in his blazer’s inner breast-pocket. He already has his wallet and keys in his pants pocket. Slipping out of his heavy winter coat, he carefully hands it to her.

“Hello there~ And why I thank you. You’re too sweet~”

She winks now sauntering away. His eyes instantly found those well rounded and pale ass cheeks of her’s. He gave a nod of approval while reaching for a cup of vodka topped with cranberry. He sips it and stuffs his freehand in his pocket.

‘Hmm...’

“Where should I start~?”

Mischief rang as he asked himself aloud. Proceeding to walk forward, he sees the blue and violet ambience, the music is A1–fun and enticing. Hell, everything all the way down to the alcohol is excellent. His eyes found the slots and just as he did on the second floor, he walks on over and leans over an older man with salt and pepper hair. He appears concentrated...

“Say, excuse me, fine sir?”

Looking to the tall youngster, he tilts his head while taking out his fancy Cuban cigar.

“What is it, Young Buck?”

With a pleasant smile he gently leans down, taking his hand out of his pocket he points to the slot screen.

“Watch the last two reels... Those move faster than the middle ones... Why do you think it’s so hard to hit the jackpot?”

With a smile, the man nods and daps him up. He adjusts his suspenders and pulls the lever.

“Thank you, son! How can I ever repay ya?”

Shaking his head no, Leorio stands straight and chuckles.

“Oh no, there’s no need, it’s what I love to do, especially as a birthday gift to myself.”

Raising both brows at his benevolence, the old man pulls out a wad of cash and calls over some of the Bunnies.

“Well I’ll be damned! Happy Birthday my boy! Ladies! Treat this young man to the finest of drinks, on me, Don Magnifico!”

Two of the girls hook around each of Leorio’s arms, his eyes instantly finding their perked up breasts, he smiles and looks back at him.

“I won’t forget your kindness, Don Magnifico!”

Don Marcelo Magnifico, age 52, standing at 6’2, still maintaining his muscle, he is one of the many Mafia Leaders who aren’t fond of other families. He’s widely known within the Underground community for his foreign cuisine and weapons import. The man has literally built a ‘Little Italy’ within Yorknew. He sees something within Leorio and he hopes to potentially get to him. Maybe he can find him a spot amongst his ranks?

From the sidelines, there are a familiar set of eyes that’s seen the entire exchange. With a dreaded sigh, the usually lax blondie found himself making tracks to the bar. Was his mind truly prepared to deal with the aggro fish?

Partially...

He gives a few taps to one of the ladies, he whispers for her to take his place momentarily at the Roulette Table. With a nod of confidence, she hopples over to take his place. Now Kurapika’s off to meet Leorio at the bar. Caution bells tolled in his head the closer he came and just as their eyes met?

The cheery and flustered face of Leorio’s instantly darkened. His lips wore that angry pout. He took one of the shots down without never taking his eyes off of him. Nearly stopping for a second, those light grey eyes momentarily averted. He could sense that rage...

“Well, well, well... Look what the cat dragged in...”

That came out so dark...

Sitting beside the angry fish is a quietly sighing Kurapika. He leans into his left hand and uses his right to snag a shot glass only to trace the rim of it.

“So what’s the fucking excuse this time? Huh?”

“There are none...”

Taken back by his honesty, those hazel eyes searched around as he hums for he’s in thought.

“Oh that’s fucking funny because I could’ve sworn you were gonna say that ol’ excuse you always say! I was expecting that shit! Did you purposely fucking forget or what?”

The idea of being chewed out never sat well with Kurapika. Most of the time, his words were hitting him in the side of his head. Finally taking that shot down and turning to face him, he scoots closer to the edge of his seat.

“Well, go on...”

He was setting himself up to actually get hit this time around. Perhaps he genuinely saw how hurt Leorio is. Why not give him what he’s always wanted right?

“I would never forget any special occasions and I would never miss anything important... I’m honestly tired. I’m sick of the lies, I’m sick of being the one trying to hold on, I’m sick of fucking trying to be the good fucking friend... At this point, I think I’m being taken for fucking granted and I ain’t got time. I’m here to tell your punk ass that you wanna do shit alone? You wanna be okay on your own? Fine. Fine. FINE! I’m done caring...”

Hearing these words made Kurapika wonder... Is he saying this out of complete anger? Or does he truly mean it? Either way, guilt was going to eat at him. Before he could combat his words, Leorio shook his head no.

“Save your petty fucking apologies... I don’t want them. I don’t need to put up with this shit. I know it’s gonna sound bad but how the fuck are Gon and Killua better fucking friends and their younger than the both of us? Fucking children. Ya hear me? Both of them called me and told me happy birthday and they’re always checking up on me... And what the fuck are you doing? Pretending that none of us exist! So you might as well lose my fucking number. This is the last time I’m gonna ever see that pathetically sheepish face of yours.”

At the moment, the fact that any of this is being said kept anything from conjuring—thoughts, retorts and anything else. That usually stoic face started to finally falter. One of his fears was this happening but he would never come to say it.

“Oh yeah? Don’t think I won’t pass up the opportunity to knock your ass into next week!”

Cracking his knuckles then drawing back his arm, he quickly cocks it, totally not caring that he may get shot, he will land that punch.

Or so he thought...

His fist was caught! Those ombré nails instantly dug into Leorio’s soft flesh. The slightest of hisses had emitted.

“At first I felt bad, but the fact that you had the absolute audacity to question my loyalty made me retract that privilege. All you do is bitch and I don’t want to hear it. You ask too many questions... Questions that if I answer may or may not put you in danger. So sorry if I’m choosing to be distant but given my position, I don’t particularly have as much free will like you do. Am I making excuses? No, I don’t make any and never will... I hate explaining myself... but because you obviously need a frequent fucking reminder, it can’t be helped.”

Leorio felt his eye twitch. He can’t find himself agitated!

“Let me—!”

Holding a finger up with his free hand, those light grey eyes had a faint red glint. But never did they leave those icy hazel ones.

“No, you’ve had your time to speak. One thing that always irritates me is how you up and assume that I don’t fucking care... When I do! So answer me this...”

Those nails pressed further and further into his skin, he even started to bend that fist of his back. Leorio did his best not to flinch.

“What time is it? Because on my watch I have... 10:21...”

Finally releasing his fist and blinking his gaze closed for a second to recenter himself, he leans back into his left hand before slowly looking to him. Leorio saw the claw marks and he couldn’t believe he was bleeding.

“...Meaning that your birthday isn’t over yet... But since you’re here, there’s no need to text nor call... So... Happy Birthday.”

That icy gaze of his warmed up instantly. He looks away for a second, his eyes appearing to search for the words he wanted to say.

“Ahem... I... One thing I’ve hated about your ass is how you gotta explain shit to me like I’m not detail oriented! But it still sounds like you’re making excuses... I don’t care what you say! Despite you didn’t apologise, you’re still giving yourself a fucking gateway to do the same old goofy shit. Time and time again, you don’t know how frustrating it is... Hence why... I just don’t care anymore. Sure, you’ve given me the words I wanted to hear, but it only takes less than a minute to fucking text. And no, I don’t give a fuck about you’re little ‘position’.”

Downing a shot before sliding over his birthday drink in front of him. Leorio rolls his eyes dismissively, now stirring his straw before sipping it.

“Hell I could be Prime Minister for all I give a fuck and it wouldn’t stop me from checking on my friends... Buuuuuttttt I guess I’m the only one who feels like that huh? Oh correction: ‘who FELT like that’...”

In all honesty, what could Kurapika say? Was Leorio really about to give up?

Recognising his silence, that hazel gaze narrows at him. His lip turns up, a look of unimpression decorates his face. He shakes his head in pity.

“Thought so...”

Facing the still upset fishy, the blondie sees his face and wonders how will he cope without seeing or hearing from him again? Slipping out of his chair, he softly chews on his bottom lip while thinking of something that he could do or say... These kinds of situations aren't his strong suit, obviously.

“Before you leave and never come back, there is something I’d like to show you... It’s not that impressive but hopefully it’ll show you that I don’t turn a blind eye to any of your advances.”

Raising an eyebrow, Leorio saw what he thought he’d never see and that’s...

That he’s genuinely afraid of losing him.

🚨🚨🚨

Okay so that’s it for part II. 😞😞😞 I really such at writing. But it’s an escape for my creativity. Hope you guys find it slightly entertaining! Thanks for reading and remember to stay hydrated and wonderful! 🥰

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh 2011 #anime #anime oneshot #melody hxh #leorio paladiknight #leorio #kurap1ka #one shot #oneshot #ask response #ask #thanks for the ask! #hxh imagines #likecommentshare #i suck at this #hunter x 2011 #hxh headcanons #hxh 1999 #hxh tag #writing #storytelling #imagine #part two

[silenceandpatiencepining]

Rambling—there’s a lot on my mind today

For a while there were a couple songs on Rep that I thought were not about love at all, and were instead about Taylor’s management team—mainly I Did Something Bad and Look What You Made Me Do. Initially I wondered if Taylor was at all resentful over her PR and how it’s forced her to hide a lot of significant aspects of her life, and especially relationships (particularly with Karlie). Even though I thought it was plausible that Taylor would write about Tree/her PR team, I’m think it’s more likely that she wrote these about being bullied by her record label, how it made her feel, and how she’s been trying to break out of it.

Taylor signed with BMR when she was still a young country artist with a strong conservative fan base. Efforts to craft her public persona focused a lot on her youth and innocence. And while this really suits her first two even three albums, as Taylor started getting older, I think the scope of what she was “allowed” to say and share in her lyrics became more restricted. Any lyrics about potential relationships with other women, or songs with female love interests were edited to be gender neutral, we see the beginning of bearding, planted PR stunts/details to make the public associate already written lyrics with men Taylor was spotted with. All the shaming and overreaction about Taylor dating really picks up and there’s scandal over Taylor doing things that are incredibly normal for a girl her age to be doing. A beautiful, talented 20-something year old woman casually dates a few people and maybe has physical/sexual experiences all turns into Taylor being slut-shamed. The wholesome image of the small town girl who grew up on a Christmas tree farm and moved to Tennessee to pursue her country music dreams no longer fits the reality of a young adult exploring her art and her sexuality and expression. She’s starting to widen her genre pool. Her fan base is expanding. She’s grown. The one size fits all innocent curly blonde country sweetheart image gets tossed out entirely and now we see the beginning of Taylor’s fashion era’s—the annual style switch up that’s since given us bold red lips, vintage dresses, a bob haircut, bleached beach waves, leather and snakes, black motifs, and now pastel rainbows galore. Taylor embraced them all and always looked amazing but they were carefully crafted veneers that just went over the top of the true cat-loving, peace sign throwing Taylor we know and love.

Anyway all of this to say, Taylor has spent the majority of her career being told who to be and even though she’s truly taken on so many styles as her own, she’s been forced to or maybe just chose to communicate and express her truth to dedicated fans through the tiny little messages and Easter eggs she leaves behind. Subtle enough for the general public to glaze over, but super fucking loud for those who are willing to look closely. Quiet because anytime she talks, people are so quick to criticize without even listening.

It’s widely believed that LWYMMD was about public feuds Taylor has been involved in with other celebs and the criticism she faced for “playing the victim” but let’s consider for a moment that the PR strategy in place for Taylor to beard [with Calvin and Tom and Joe and all the others before] came initially NOT from Taylor or Tree, but instead from Big Machine Records and that these experiences helped drive the direction of the Rep album and Taylor’s behavior/Easter eggs. She really called them the fuck out while she rode out the rest of her contract and hoped to negotiate something better for her future.

I don't like your little games

Don't like your tilted stage

The role you made me play

Of the fool, no, I don't like you

I don't like your perfect crime

How you laugh when you lie

You said the gun was mine

Isn't cool, no, I don't like you

Ever since Taylor has been under BMR they’ve basically played her and exploited her for their benefit and for profit. They crafted and controlled her image, forced her to be and act like someone she isn’t, all while making a fortune. They probably tried to make her feel like she got to have a say in things but she really wasn’t given much control over herself.

I don't like your kingdom keys

They once belonged to me

You asked me for a place to sleep

Locked me out and threw a feast (What?)

The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama

But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma

And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure

Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

Here I think Taylor is saying that yeah, at one point in time she did have some control, the power was in her hands, but once her fame and notoriety was amassing, they (BMR and management) took it from her and then went on profiting from her hard work while she continued to be used. They use her, control her public reactions, and get her involved in these feuds to stir publicity but she’s been sitting back silently taking it and plotting her rise. They’re all removed from these stunts. She’s the one that had to live with it. But she’s biding her time. She’s plotting her next move. Her hints have been getting more obvious. She’s getting more bold and more public, which is showcased particularly well by her political activism and Lover era imagery.

I feel like the Reputation era in general was Taylor saying that she’s done putting up with the bullshit. She’s tired of men with power they don’t deserve constantly calling the shots and making plays at her when they only see her as dollars they can use. She’s tired of not being able to show who she loves and how she really is. She’s ready to be happy. She’s ready to put this behind her.

I think that’s what makes me feel so sick about the news of the BMR sell to fucking Scooter Braun—after all of the shit Taylor has had to deal with, after giving her all to a management team that she trusted but that used her, she entrusted her life’s work to Scott and moved on to a new label that actually gave her ownership and empowerment and actually valued her craft...and Scott sold out to the shady powers at be who are financed by people that only want to hurt, punish, or profit off of Taylor. Fucking Josh Kushner, his criminal family, and the Carlyle Group really went out there to financially back Scooter just so they could aid in his takeover of Taylor’s historical catalogue. It’s sick.

My heart really goes out to Taylor. She’s fought so fucking hard to create the incredible work she has, all while trying to make things better for other artists who don’t have the same negotiating power, and people still have the nerve to say that she’s being dramatic because she didn’t get notified of the sale sooner—this is so much bigger than that.

I know swifties are doing what they can to show their support, so I know I’m not alone in saying that I wish I could give Taylor a hug in the wake of the news breaking and the back and forth he said she said of the guilty parties desperately trying to save face through their lie-laced rebuttals to her blog.

Taylor—We stand with you. We see you. We believe you. And we’re ready to support the hell out of Lover.

#i stand with taylor #we stand with Taylor #taylor swift #lover era #big machine records #taylor swift masters #kaylor #lover album #taylor nation

[thesinglesjukebox]

LIM KIM - YELLOW

[7.14]

Sounding a bit different to her most recent appearance here...

Ryo Miyauchi: Writer Kristen Yoonsoo Kim recently wrote a great essay on the popular hue she calls "worry yellow," like the killer-bee color used in the album art of Beerbongs & Bentleys. She begins the piece by talking about her "yellow" Asian skin tone: "'Yellow' sounds diseased in a non-glamorous way." Diseased may be too harsh to describe Lim Kim's "Yellow," but it does bask in an overwhelming amount of physical unease: it sounds a lot more like a PAN records release than anything from her K-pop past. However, it's certainly non-glamorous. It's far from lacking in pride or self-confidence: before we even get anywhere close to the roaring "who's the fucking queen" chorus, the song endlessly drills "yellow" to your skull. But Lim Kim's not exactly here for the warm embrace of the public. She could've possibly produced a clean pop spectacle in a style that's a lot more familiar, influenced by hip-hop, perhaps, based on the cadence and language she deploys in her verses. Instead, she chose something trickier, wearing ethnic stereotypes openly as the "yellow killa," and a production that conjures such a title. It plays into stereotypes so straightly, it can be an uncomfortable experience even as an Asian audience sitting in, which can be its own discomfort, particularly during moments like "my flavor's like wasabi." But that flinching reflex seeing another perform a less-than-perfect self still taps to the idea that we must be exceptional at what we do to prove the value of our identity to the West; that we have to get our messages perfect and craft it in the right pop image (that image often based on some Western one). What Lim Kim brings in "Yellow" with its sound and attitude isn't nice or glamorous, more drawing upon the fear, anxiety or disgust others may see in us as pure outsiders or our kind seeing others break the illusion of us as the Perfect Beauty. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: South Korea's had a handful of great art pop projects as of late, and they're all from women: CIFIKA's Prism, Cacophony's Harmony, Sumin's OO DA DA, and now Lim Kim's Yellow. For her reinvention, Kim ended up crowdfunding her latest album and collaborated with No Identity, a producer who's previously worked with Korean rap provocateur Kim Ximya of XXX. No Identity incorporates traditional instrumentation alongside brash, sound-design focused production techniques that feel indebted to deconstructed club (it's no coincidence that Arca has been seen supporting Lim Kim's new work). The result is a sort of contemporary M.I.A., and it's at its most exhilarating when Kim shouts out "Who's the fucking queen? I!" in the most assured tone. As an empowerment anthem, it can feel a bit garish and simplistic, but the instrumentation sells her confidence. When she chants "Break domes of male dominance," her unwavering tone and the surrounding drums prove hypnotic -- you never once doubt her intent. In a time when K-pop's been increasingly conservative, "Yellow" proves to be the most undeniable single from Korea this year. [8]

Jessica Doyle: From reading commentary I get the impression that Lim Kim is trying to challenge and circumvent, rather than just use, stereotypes of East Asia. But for me, the video and song alone don't contain enough ideas to suggest that what she's doing is that much deeper or more compelling than what CL was trying to do four years ago. [4]

Leah Isobel: Lim Kim's tart-sweet voice anchors this thrilling bit of amelodia, rushing into the track from all angles. It's starkly different from her pop-friendlier past, and misses a bit of that catchiness, but her audible elation makes up for it. [8]

Alfred Soto: I love tracks that sound as if a swarm of bees were attacking every guy who ever questioned the clarity of a woman's inner voice. [7]

Michael Hong: A perfect representation of East meets West. Lim Kim's flow is markedly direct, stepping out of the pervasive boundaries of a K-pop idol towards the confidence that's much more prevalent in Western rap. But her reference points are distinctly Eastern and she portrays every Asian woman tired of being poorly represented. As she claims the word "yellow" for herself, flourishes reminiscent of traditional East Asian music are pushed into the foreground of the track. It's a forceful demonstration rather than a token Easter egg simply for those that dare look deeper. The chorus -- boasts like "who's the fucking queen?" interspersed between chants of "yellow" -- becomes the new mantra for any East Asian woman tired of being portrayed as meek and subservient. [8]

Kylo Nocom: Rich Brian's "Yellow" ineffectively condemned Asian male emasculation by bragging about his own success. It was a dishonest attempt at earning his own artistic worth, yet his employment of DAMN. producer Bēkon and narrative-pushing of "no one ever wants change" bullshit are used to put his ass above rappers deemed less intelligent than him. Lim Kim's "Yellow" is comparatively much more fascinating, but its wit will be overlooked by those whose conceptions of social consciousness in rap are limited to jazz wankery and dull boom-bap. Here, the power of Asian women isn't reinforced by simplistic subversion but rather by warping the roles already imposed upon them into grotesque forms. The beat is the same type of orientalism that Baauer delivered in 2016 with the mystical Eastern themes multiplied a thousand times until made horrifying. Lim Kim approaches those she seeks to uplift with sincerity interspersed with stereotypical images seemingly designed as distractions for those looking on the surface. "My flavor's like wasabi" and "our style lookin' so kawaii" would slot in well with the lyrics of "Harajuku Girls" or "Hello Kitty," yet they lack the veneer of exoticism and instead ask the question: "Are you horrified yet?" The bridge is pure chaos, as if every portrayal of Asian women in media became one singular unit armed against men with off-key la-la-las. It works as a wondrous slideshow of microaggressions refashioned into a weapon, sharper than any white nerd's model katana and dangerous enough to reignite claims of Yellow Peril across the West. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Lim Kim #pop #Kpop #music #music review #writing

[charlijo2020]

High

Smoked all night.

I haven't slept.

All I keep thinking is how did things come this far?

I notice things.

Simple little things.

1st, 2nd and 3rd attempts when someone puts an effort to get to know me.

Spaced out.

Daydreaming about why??

Why did I or you conform to society ?

Mounting pressures of the norms?

Allowing others to tell us what to do?

I'm a firm believer of non conformality.

But this time around I made that mistake of allowing my feelings cloud my logic .

Never ever conform !

I know for fact I don't conform as much because an entire party can hate on me all fucking day and night and I could give five fucks and blueberry muffin what the fuck they think! And still show my face.

If I did I would have left the minute I walk in.

I look past that.

Evidently I hang out with "chuckfuck rejects" sounds like a band name 😂

Well those "Chuckfuck rejects" are the fucking best.

Non conformality has taught me to not give a shit about the fake and also helped me wean out the weak.

It has taught me to accept the realest of people and probably the kindest people I ever fucking met.

I wish everyone happiness despite what they think or feel about me.

I don't have time to worry about those things.

I'm not even mad at him anymore.

I want to be .

You know just to be pissed about the chain of events but that wouldn't be me at all.

I forgave him yesterday in my heart

He didn't do anything to me at this moment other than making me fucking think and think and think.

Isn't it amazing when one person can have that much of an impact ??

No amount of advice or suggestions can change my perspective about him

He means well .

I can see that

I guess he's right..

He is.

Keeping myself from him...why?

I never keep anyone from anyone else.

I try to make those people get together.

I realized I can't just be "friends" with him.

It's so fucking hard but annoying as well.

I'll try to get over him by "moving on" etc.

And it's like the fucking universe knows and will tilt sideways and I can feel his glare a mile away from me and I swear creator is like " are you sure that is a good move right now?

And then I'm like "Noooo"

I don't want things to feel this unbalanced and it fucking sucks.

Are we healthy together , unhealthy apart..are we both obsessing over here and not doing a thing about it?

Locking looks and getting scared of what might happen if we feed into our feelings...when that's all I want to do more than ever.

I'm not worried about the judgement of the world because in my heart I know he's not fake just bugs the fuck outta me when I am trying to build him up only to be broken down...

Sabotage and run? I think it is our way to run away when things start feeling real..ughhhh I am to tired to chase anyone.

Am I going to avoid him? Nope.

Fresno people are so conservative and closed off .

That anything I do is strange .

When I was residing in Washington State , Bremerton WA to be exact I learned that people there are more expressive there then here ..why?

I'm moving next year in January I will be in Arizona to be with my family

I have nothing here waiting for me right now.

I think it's time for a fresh start anyhow

Make a new friend ...maybe .

I think my anger is also that my efforts feel unnoticed by him ...I don't give a fuck about what others think ..it's him..

...I worry about ... I don't want anyone to hurt him and the minute I felt that hint of "putting him in his place"

Really tripped me out!!

I was thinking "oh hell naw!!"

I wanted to reach through my phone and slap the shit outta this beezy.

It's one thing to go away from home and have a fucking plot to ruin all his good hardwork and all that person saw was his past.

You weren't here to witness his changes

I see the good work he has done so why did she play him ??

Why did he fall for her bullshit??

I can't standby and allow her to do that...who mindlessly stands by and allow that shit to happen...

Not me.

I refuse to "put him in his place" for what?

For being kind to me? For being there for me? For putting up with me?

I don't think so .

I have way to much unconditional love for that to happen.

I just have a hard time admitting that because I'm vulnerable.

I'm not afraid to be expressive because my biggest fear is leaving this Earth by any circumstance such as natural death , getting hit by a car, plane crash etc.

You get the picture.

Basically after Lehi's death I can't leave this Earth leaving people wondering if I ever loved them.

I do.

More than anything in this world.

I like spreading unconditional love and saying "I love you" .

I say it to my close friends and family all the time.

They respond back each and every time.

Man or Woman.

I notice alot of things.

I think as non conformist we forgive easily because we worry about their happiness and only want what's best for them.

When I'm alone with thoughts I can see clearly.

I'll lock myself away for hours on end.

Or I distract myself with my mental health mindful tools.

I used to turn to numbing agents.

I don't .

sooooooo... I feel everything.

Drowning my head with old 90s music ranging from all over.

Blasting music in my ears to escape long enough to write all this.

[quarternotewhistle]

.

#mental illness is bullshit #there's this guy's music show I've been excited about for a few weeks #been looking forward to it since I saw it announced #I love this guy's music he's one of the musicians I know from the wolf #but anyways so the show is tonight and I really wanted to go #and I'd been conserving energy all day #took naps and did nice low key stuff #and I get to an hour before it's time to leave #and my brain just goes hey we're really tired we could use a nap #and I'm like well I could go tired but not great to drive that way in the dark #or I could take a nap and probably not want to wake up in time to leave #so instead of either option I just sit there stewing about it #and the timeframe for potential nap grows shorter and shorter #and i get more and more anxious #and finally think between the long night drive and unfamiliar venue and possible crowd/noise it'll probably be anxiousmaking there anyways #even though I coulda handled that if I -gasp- wasn't already feeling tired and anxious #so anyways the show starts in twelve minutes and I'm sitting in bed being pissed off at myself #because I wanted to go to this thing so bad!! #and then when it came down to it mental illness just arbitrarily fucking kept me from going #this is stupid #I've been looking forward to this for so long #I just hate how unreliable my energy level is!!! just let me do things I'm excited about!!

[sweetener-forever]

The Novelty and Longevity of Relationships

Rating: G

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou

Tags: Can be read as a sequel to “Kirishima’s Existential Crisis” or read alone, there is a minor description of a panic attack at some point, Bakugou is bad at feelings and expressing them

Summary: Bakugou didn’t ask for friends, but he finds them more important than he initially thought he ever would. Now if he could actually tell Kirishima that when the other isn’t exercising and listening to music, that would be great.

AO3 Link

It's not exactly a shock or surprise to anyone to say that Kirishima is an obsessed gym rat. They may use some nicer terms to describe his obsession, but no one can really deny what it is when push comes to shove.

What they might be surprised about is that Bakugou accompanies him to the gym more times than not. Although it is more for spotting than companionship as they listen to their own separate music and work out less than two feet from each other, but don't actually speak a word.

It's currently early morning and neither could continue sleeping, so they are up even before the sun is. Exercising on the U.A. provided treadmills and listening to their music.

At least Kirishima is, humming along as he unconsciously sets his pace to the beat of the songs.

Bakugou's own music is paused and has been for at least 20 minutes until his player finally gives up and shuts itself down to conserve battery. He fails to notice though as his thoughts are stuck on the man beside him and the "conversation" they had, had a few days ago.

"Fuck." He finally breathes out and pointedly turns his head away from Kirishima as he speaks.

"I have no idea how someone so stupid and optimistic became my best damn friend." He growls out and steps forward a little more aggressively as he does so. Hoping maybe if he wears himself out well enough it will stem the flow of words making their way through his chest and out of his mouth.

"I hate you for making me use that asinine as fuck word too," Bakugou pauses and pretends it is the punishing pace winding him, "because it's true." A quick check over at Kirishima to confirm the earbuds are still firmly in and that he is humming away.

"I've had so few friends before. They came, took what they needed from me, like protection or needing to feel like they were more significant than they would ever actually be, and then they left."

The sludge monster incident rears its ugly head like an unpleasant odor Bakugou still can't shake. It affects him now more in the present than it ever did in the past, hindsight proving that it became the turning point of where everything he had ever known to be true in life went to shit. How so many so-called pro-heroes and his pretend fairweather friends had done nothing to help him. Only Deku had made any effort, and thinking about that of all things makes his chest tighter up with nauseating dull sensations of loathing and panic. And it still hurts his pride that he needed any help at all in that situation because he should have been better, he is better, but he couldn't breathe and-

Slowing down his frantic pace does a lot for helping Bakugou's breathing slow down and to take deep breaths to ward off the memories and the encroaching panic attack.

Kirishima notices, because of course he does, and cocks his head in an unspoken question. After some persistent scowling and handwaving he finally goes back to his own workout, but his concerned frown doesn't waver.

"See, that's the shit I hate. I told you I'm fine, but you're too soft-hearted and concerned about the world to leave it alone. I've never had anyone so concerned over my well-being before coming here..." This is irritating enough, and everything about this is stupid, but Bakugou hopes if he practices enough to an unaware Kirishima, maybe one day he would be able to actually say it to his face, "it's nice."

There he said it and now it is out in the open.

"It's stupid to like it though. Or like any of it, because I have to focus on my goals and-" He grinds his teeth together to keep the next impulsive thoughts from slipping out. Not sure if he is really ready to be that honest, even to an empty gym. Of course, he says it anyway.

Another set of deep breaths and he continues.

"You're all going to leave anyway." None of this was in the plan, factoring in real friends hadn't been in Bakugou's plan since he had entered middle school and cut off all ties with Midoriya and contact that wasn't violent in nature.

Bakugou takes a break to sort all his thoughts out and restarts his workout, ramping himself up slowly to where he was before beginning anew.

"It's useless to get attached to anyone because you're all supposed to be slowing me down," his laugh sounds a little wheezy and hysterical, even to his own ears, "but you morons aren't."

"You haven't slowed me down once even since the USJ incident, or the damn Sports Festival, or." Kamino. It remains unspoken because if Kirishima could hear him he would understand.

"So, it pisses me off that you think for one moment you can't just ask me about bullshit or tell me you need a break." Kirishima's tired ramble from the other day echoes too often in Bakugou's head. About wanting to stop existing even for a little bit, just to escape being tired.

"Damn it. As much as I tell you to shut up, I don't want you to just flat out disappear, you hear me, you asshole?" Of course, he can't because he has earbuds in and Bakugou is barely speaking above a whisper.

"I don't know how long this friendship is going to last, if it's going to be over in a day or if I'll know you still when we retire. I'm fucking terrified of drifting away and losing these few friends that I have, and I don't," a long pause, the ticking of the gym's clock to audible, "I don't want it to come to an end." He is done, slowing down and powering off his machine with a few gasping breaths like he is drowning in the air itself. He said everything that could ever need to be said, and now that he has said it, there is no way he is ever going to say that much embarrassing crap out loud to Kirishima. Ever.

So, it takes him a moment to notice that Kirishima had stopped his own exercise a while ago and has been hunched over his machine's handlebars for a few minutes.

"What the fuck are you doing, Kirishima?" Bakugou deliberately raises his voice to get the other boy's attention, confused over what exactly his shitty haired companion is resting for.

When Kirishima looks over it is with a few puffy tears down his cheeks and wet eyes, something he is quick to cover up with an arm and wipe away. It leaves a pit of embarrassment opens up in Bakugou's stomach as he stares down Kirishima's trembling lip and soft sniffles. Daring him to say anything.

"Sorry, sorry! I got something in my eyes, really hurts me deep, dude!" Kirishima tries for a relaxed and casual laugh, but it sounds strained without an accompanying smile.

Bakugou doesn't say anything in return, rooted to the spot, mind blissfully empty.

Kirishima finally lifts his arm away, thankfully finished crying, but eyes are still a little glossy. He must see something he doesn't like on Bakugou's face because he adopts a small frown and turns away to pull his earbuds out.

"Hey, Bakugou..." Here it comes, and everything rushes back into Bakugou's head; panic, humiliation, and self-hatred piling in until he feels like he might have to use his quirk to escape this entire awful situation.

"You want to finish up and catch some breakfast somewhere or go back to the dorms and make some?" Kirishima tries for a tentative smile, slowly widening as Bakugou (unwillingly) relaxes.

"I'm not cooking with those vultures hanging around and you'll burn the place down trying." He scoffs out finally and rolls his eyes, collecting his water bottle and towel before stalking to the locker rooms. Kirishima's laughter following after him.

That isn't originally what Kirishima wanted to say at all, but he figures that Bakugou probably isn't ready to hear what he has to say on the entire situation. It's the only manly thing to do to return a favor and just pretend he didn't hear anything for now.

#My Hero Academia #Boku No Hero Academia #BNHA #My Fanfic #Bakugou Katsuki #Kirishima Eijirou

[lavender-noire]

Read on MTS

As perfect as it is in theory, a white colonial style house with two stories, a big blue front door with a golden knocker emblazoned on the front is terribly unrealistic for life in the city. The property alone required for that sprawling backyard would cost a fortune worth several lifetimes over. Not to mention the price of that immaculate green lawn out front. Then there's the cost of the never-ending parade of gardeners for the grounds, housekeepers for the rooms, plumbers for those four bathrooms she insists were absolutely necessary, and of course, a nanny for the children, because how dare he expect her to renounce her career just because she's created a life. How god damn dare he. But no. Of course that's a ridiculous fantasy for a working couple living in the heart of Downtown Pleasantview. There's the cost. There's all that space, mocking her with its unresponsive emptiness. And moving back to the suburbs is obviously out of the question. The thought of being walking distance from her mother and sister makes her heartbeat spill into her ears. Not again. Besides, the apartment is nice enough. Nevermind that the floors creak and the porch light still isn't fixed after sixteen weeks of asking.

The apartment is cool inside, despite the heat of the day pooling just outside the kitchen window. Her tiny porcelain cups of wheat grass and soil are appreciative for the unobstructed light. Angela's gaze doesn't falter from looking across the table to admire her plants, proud as she is. A jolt of pain leaps up from the small of her back and across her vertebrae, then comes to rest somewhere at the base of her skull. Heat and throbbing soreness moans warily from the bottoms of her feet. Her skin chafes every second of every minute to accommodate her growing belly. To cope, she frantically applies butters and creams to her stomach at every trip to the bathroom. Sometimes she looks at her body in the mirror and grins, eager to meet the person sleeping inside it. Other times, she sobs as her mind suffers to reconcile her swollen belly and tired legs with the image of herself she's known for forever until now. Sometimes she plucks the hair from her scalp to regain some sense of control over the metamorphosing landscape of her own physical form. Sometimes she screams into a folded towel. Every time, she blots a makeup sponge under her eyes, reapplies her lipstick, and returns to society all clean and pretty.

Gazing back at his wife from across the table, Jake can't help the upward tilt of his lips. She's glowing. People always say that about pregnant women, but he's seen pregnant women, and nobody radiates like Angela. The muted scent of lavender and linen trails after her wherever she goes. Distant starlight catches the green of her eyes and blinds him with her absolute perfection. It wads his stomach in knots to look upon her and then remember himself.

She knows she's too good for him. She doesn't have to say as much, of course. The entire world showers cherry blossom petal praise and congratulations for her charming manner, pretty face, and sharp wit, then recoils in horror when they realize that man beside her is her husband. The sweet, sticky odor of hair gel and body spray heralds his presence before he even enters a room. Years of drunken revelry and cigarette smoke has made his voice husky. He saunters from place to place, constantly late, his attentions and affections carried on an unpredictable wind. They've moved more than twice because asking him to turn down the volume of his music is an assault on his creative expression. His reputation precedes him everywhere. "Him?" they all say. And it's getting harder to respond.

Her eyes linger on him as he walks past. She wrinkles her brow and implores his broad back to explain just what it is that tethers her to him. She hardly noticed him at all in college. He was her sister's plaything back then. Jacob Martin existed merely as a deep voice comingling in the raucous laughter that emanated from behind her sister's door. He was the nonchalant arm draped around Lilith's shoulders at the cafeteria. He was the lazy cheek kisses and the napping body beside her on the couch in the common room. He was an accessory to her antics, equally directionless and shallow. But a single drunken night of dancing and stolen kisses under the yellow glow of a streetlamp, and he's Mr. Pleasant-Martin. Angela smiles a meek smile. It had been a fun night, at least.

He perches on the couch beside her, crossing his legs at the ankles. "Angie, I've been thinking," he says. Angela cringes at the bastardization of her name. It's Angela, she wants to say. It's been six fucking years, Jacob, you know I like it "Angela", not "Angie", "Angel", or even goddamn "Jelly". But she steals a moment with eyes pinched close, a wrinkle of the nose, then responds, "What's that, babe?" He blossoms. Pet names are rare. "I want to throw you a baby shower. I promise, nothing big, just a little get-together for family and friends here at the house. I'll be conservative with the music, I'll leave the menu to you, and it'll just --" The corners of Angela's lips bow in not quite a smile. "It sounds great. Let's do it."

Of all the extended family, Jacob's dad is the over the most often. Angela thinks their relationship is unhealthy. Codependent. Jacob thinks that that's an overdramatic, assumptive assertion that she makes because she lives in abject fear of her own mother, and can't comprehend a relationship that deviates from that. He would never say so, but it's what he thinks. "Dude!" Jacob cries as he bats his father's hands away, "Don't tickle me, I'm like thirty." Andrew grins a lopsided grin and buries his fingers in Jacob's sides, "Shut up, you love it." They share a laugh.

Antithetical as they are, the two family groups mix without incident most of the time. Mary-Sue attempted a conversation with Jacob's father once. While the conversation languished around stocks and the state of the economy, she was perfectly enthused. Once Andrew decided to dust off the fart noises and impressions, Mary-Sue had written him off as an intellectual dead end. These days, she greets him with a single nod of acknowledgement and nothing more. Andrew, who cannot bear the thought of not being liked, nurses his hurt feelings with food every time he and Mary-Sue are in the same room. It works for them.

Lilith and Jacob remain friends, though not as close as they used to be. They lounge around the house together watching television or playing video games under Angela's skeptical surveillance. Neither one has any interest in rekindling their sexual relationship, but Lilith likes the anxiety in brings to her twin's stupidly immaculate household, so she lets Angela worry.

Angela's eyes flit between her sister's face and the protrusion of her own pregnant stomach. She surveys with displeasure the shaggy red tresses that drape across her twin's forehead and curl near her ears. It's better than when she was bald for a year, sure, but not by much. Angela finds it hard to look at her sister for more than a few minutes at a time. The familiarity of those features -- that same freckled nose and pale face, those same, cutting green eyes staring back into her own -- makes her want to peel her skin off and inhabit someone, anyone, else.

She dips her chin downward to draw attention to Lilith's belly. "That's new. Don's the dad?"

Lilith smirks. "Sure is."

"I'm glad we're pregnant at the same time, this way our kids can --"

Lilith cups her hand before her lips and shakes loose a yawn. "Angela, nothing would be more boring to me than playing the whole 'twinsies' game with our kids and forcing ourselves together for Sunday brunch or whatever contrived, inauthentic bullshit you've concocted to appease our terrible mother."

Anxious, incensed butterflies flood Angela's stomach. Their sickly yellow wings bat against each other. Scarlet heat rises to the surface of her skin. Her face flushes. Her ears numb. She can feel the blood swirling beneath her flesh, and it makes her sick. She fixes a smile upon her face as she winds her fingers into fists at her sides. She pictures glass fracturing in the beds of her palms, sheer edges pressing to her skin and alleviating the thrum of her heart, the rage in her veins, for just a moment.

It's fine.

"Congratulations, Lilith." she softly says.

It's fine. Angela is a great daughter-in-law. She's intelligent. She's lovely. She's kind. She is an excellent addition to any family, and anyone who doesn't see her value is obviously worthless, themselves. She throws her arms around her father-in-law and wraps him in a warm embrace. He smells like paperwork and brandy, and for a moment, Angela worries that he's driven here. Nevermind. She pulls back.

"Andrew, thanks for coming. We're always so happy to have you."

She wonders if he can tell her words are hollow.

Angela's mouth begins to water and her stomach lurches. Nausea blurs her vision and burns her throat. She touches a few fingertips to her lips and heads for the bathroom.

A melodic voice cuts through the mental noise awash in Angela's head.

"Angela!" the voice says, "Congratulations, sweetheart! Have you picked out any names?"

Her throat constricts and the gushing, angry bloodflow ebbs for a moment as she registers Meadow Broke's face. She can feel her pupils reduce to pinpricks in the center of her eyes, a thieving raccoon caught in the glow of a flashlight. Her attention bounds between Meadow and the man approaching behind her. Oh good, Dustin's here. It was only a kiss and she didn't know they were engaged. Either way, Meadow stole him from her first, so really, it all cancels out. They're over it. It's fine.

"Hey!" she says too loudly, "Th-thanks for being here. I have a few names I really like, but Jacob wants to wait until we meet the baby to decide."

Meadow chuckles. "And it's driving you crazy, right?"

She presses the inside of her lip between her teeth, then forces a laugh. 

"Completely nuts."

Mary-Sue Pleasant has a way of looking through to the core of people. She sees through the miles of coping mechanisms, aesthetic distractions, and defensive walls to the heart of their character. In another life, she may very well have made an excellent therapist. But in this one, her perception and intuition about people is stained by the inky black streaks of judgment she paints upon them, deeming them worthy or not of her respect, her acceptance, her praise. Currently, she looks upon the unkempt frame of her son-in-law at a party he's cobbled together to celebrate the impending arrival of the child he's made with her daughter. Mary-Sue is elated at the thought of meeting this darling bundle of untapped potential, but immeasurably disappointed when she considers its father.

"Hello, Jacob," she says dully as he makes his approach. He looks stern.

"We need to talk. Before the baby comes, before anybody makes any decisions about childcare, education, expectations -- whatever -- you and me have to talk."

Mary-Sue cocks a brow and leans onto one hip, her arms fanned confidently at her sides and and utterly unimpressed frown scrawled across her face. "I agree, we do need to have a discussion."

Jacob parts his lips, but Mary-Sue plows through his opportunity.

"I'm not like everyone else, Jacob. I'm not going to do this dance with you, protect your flimsy self-esteem. Let me be transparent: I am unhappy with the choice my daughter has made. I don't think you're right for her or for this family, but I cannot make her decisions for her. What we're looking at is an eternity tethered to each other through this child, and while that's obviously not ideal for either of us --"

"I don't have a problem with you, Mary."

"Mary-Sue. And fine, obviously it's not ideal for me. But seeing as there's no way around it, there are a few things I'm going to need from you. One, find a real job. I will not have my daughter and grandchild's fate hinging on the potential for upward mobility for a DJ."

Jacob scowls. "Emcee."

"That is literally the exact same thing, Jacob. Do you even hear yourself?" The older woman sucks in a breath and releases it with great effort. "One, real job. I can get you a job at Dirk Dreamer's firm, and you will take it. Two, the child will attend private school and university, nonnegotiable. Three, get a real house. I will not have my grandchild raised in an apartment of this condition on the poor side of the city. Are we clear?"

Jacob grits his teeth. "You're being insanely demeaning to me in my own home at a party I threw to honor your daughter, and I won't take your --"

Mary-Sue clucks her tongue and shakes her head softly. "Mind your tone, Jacob. It's Angela's party and we don't want to cause her any undue stress, do we? Think of the baby."

Jacob sighs. "Fine. But we'll continue this later."

Mary-Sue chuckles. "If we must."

"Oh, hey Angela. You feeling okay?"

Angela brushes her wrist across her mouth, having emerged from the bathroom renewed. She glances down at Jules O'Mackey, sitting sentinel upon the sofa.

"Me? Yeah, I'm great."

Jules warms to her just a little. "Well, good. I've watched you run around all night long, and I wanna be sure you're okay. Want to sit?"

Angela shakes her head with a neighborly smile. "No, but thank you. I prefer to stand."

"Alright. Just mind your stress, alright? I have no doubt you can handle it, I'm just thinking of that kid in there."

Angela nods.

Jules glimpses some space else with a wistful sheen in her eyes. "I just can't believe Jake is having a kid. I mean we're all at that age, right? Everyone's got their partners now, Dustin and Meadow have Summer, and -- it's silly, but as a kid I was so sure Jake and I were gonna end up together. I wonder if he'll say anything about me to that little guy of yours."

In her stunned silence, Angela can hear the sound of Jacob's voice as he spins a mostly true story from the kitchen.

"Anyways, Lilith told me there was no way to crush a full can of soda against my head, and I said 'not with that attitude, there's not'. So that's how I wound up getting eight stitches in my head at the hospital on New Years Eve."

She watches Jules' smug, self-satisfied freckled fucking face, something monstrous bubbling to the surface. Her shoulders pitch and her nostrils flare once, then twice. She can feel her throat constrict and her muscles pull against the bone. She inhales through her nose and cool air meets her scalding lungs. She plants a loving hand upon her own stomach and glowers down the bridge of her nose at Jules. It's fine. It really is.

"Don't worry, Jules, I'm sure it'll happen for you eventually," she says, a cakey sweetness laden in her voice.

"And that's how I met Angela again after college!” she can hear Jacob sing from the kitchen.

Angela steals away to the bedroom after most the guests take their leave. She sleeps an uneasy rest, drenched in sweat, sharp pains electrifying her skin and insides from her navel outward. She yanks her entire body upright and fumbles with the blankets, hands shaking. The sheets are drenched down to the mattress, and her body aches under the immense pressure building in her abdomen. She can't catch her breath. She throws herself from the bed and wails, grasping at her stomach.

"Jacob, wake up!" she screams.

"Wait a minute, let me call the hospital." Jacob mutters as he tears himself from the bed.

"No time!"

"Holy shit, is that--?!"

The minutes pass like small eternities, one by one, and eventually, where before there were two, there are three.

Angela pulls the baby to her chest and wipes away the sweat from her forehead with an arm. She presses a few tired kisses to the baby's skin before inhaling his scent.

"Whoo! You did it, Angie! And I'm only sort of traumatized for life."

Angela smirks against the baby's shoulder. "Wanna hold him?"

“What do we call him?” she asks.

There’s a palpable thickness to the silence between them. Jacob gazes into the brand new face of his child -- his child -- and two little brown eyes gaze back. He chokes on the wet wad of emotion that eases up his throat, then replies.

“Munn.”

“What? ‘Munn’?”

“His name is Munn.”

#a pleasant place #angela pleasant #jacob martin #maxis premades #pleasantview #sims 2 story #ts2 story #the sims 2 story #the pleasant-martins #mary-sue pleasant #andrew martin #lilith pleasant #munn pleasant-martin #meadow thayer #dustin broke #jules o'mackey #cw: anxiety #tw: anxiety #tw: self-harm #cw: self-harm

[theheavymetalmama]

Katie Reviews “Far Cry 5″

Doctor Stupidlove

Another day, another Far Cry game. Whether or not that’s a good or bad thing depends on person to person with a laundry list of variables, including but not limited to personal taste and sensibilities, franchise fatigue, whether or not you bought into the glue-huffing guff that this game held a leftist bias pushing an anti-white, anti-American agenda because for the first time in the series the bad guys are an American fanatically religious death cult instead of brown people from imaginary foreign countries, and a myriad of other things I’m probably missing. I’ll say up front that after Primal and a bunch of other bullshit from Ubisoft between now and the infamous ‘women are too hard to animate’ thing I was pretty much done with the series and Ubisoft as a whole. Then the launch trailer for Far Cry 5 dropped and, having grown up in a dead gold mining community chock-full of racist loonies not unlike the one depicted in the fictional Hope County, my interest immediately peaked.

See, the Far Cry games have a strange pattern to them. No game is perfect, but the Far Cry games stand out in that they have one glaring flaw that mars an otherwise damn good game. Far Cry 3 is held aloft as when the series peaked, and for good reason, but the main character was irredeemably unlikable and the main charismatic villain just up and vanishes from the halfway point in the game. Far Cry 4, or Far Cry 3 2 as some call it, fixed the villain problem but the main character was just dull. Primal was...not good, with a boring lead, a boring villain, and an overall boring game. Sure, Blood Dragon was a ton of fun, but part of the charm was that it was completely self-aware of its’ own absurdity and the characters from the hero to the villain weren’t characters so much as they were walking punchlines.

So how does Far Cry 5 compare? Well, when it comes to story, setting, and gameplay, it’s a step up from Far Cry 4 in some ways, blows Primal out of the water, but has its’ own issues and hang-ups that don’t quite make it live up to Far Cry 3. That’s the short version, anyway. The long version?

Let’s start with graphics, location, and aesthetics. Far Cry 5 looks fucking beautiful. 

I’m not kidding, everything from the wild lands, the forests, the mountains, the lakes and rivers, the settlements, everything in Far Cry 5 is absolutely gorgeous. It’s not quite up there with Breath of the Wild or Horizon: Zero Dawn in sheer style and detail, but it’s pretty damn close. More often than not I found myself forgetting about the mission and spending a lot of time exploring, hunting, and trying to take in the sights. More on the ‘trying’ part in a bit. The atmosphere sucks you right in, everything from the chirping birds and buzzing bees making the world feel alive. Exploring the woods and hearing cultist singing and chanting far off in the distance, especially at night, is legitimately terrifying. Wildlife always plays a key role in the Far Cry games and this is no exception, from docile deer to the always pleasant wolverine providing plenty of opportunities for hunting. Just don’t get skunked.

The game takes place in Hope County, a fictional region in rural Montana. Now I’ve never actually been to Montana, but I did grow up in Washington state and I can’t help but notice many similarities. The woods, the rivers, the god damned apple farms, exploring Hope County felt like I was going home again. Sometimes not for the better, but that’s neither here nor there. In any case, Hope County is beautifully detailed, from the farms to forest to the interiors of the (ugh...) Spread Eagle bar to the small hunting cabins out in the woods. Hats off to the artists and environmental designers for Far Cry 5, because they manage to tell more story about the world and characters with just a ransacked pumpkin farm and a dog mourning his dead owners than Square Enix and Konami ever could with a 20 minute cutscene and a dictionary’s worth of dialogue for each character.

Speaking of characters, the Far Cry games are loaded with memorable characters and the locals of Hope County are no exception. Returning character Hurk is back and as redneck-y as ever, and it turns out Hope County is his home. We also meet members of his family, like his pyromaniac cousin Sharky, his promiscuous mother Adelaide and her boyfriend Xander who’s roughly 1/3rd her age, and his racist conspiracy theorist gun-hoarding father Hurk Sr. No wonder he’s so messed up.

But Hurk and his folks aren’t the only people you meet, as the game is packed to the brim with memorable characters that you either love or love to hate, from lovable country boy Nick Rye and half-feral huntress Jess Black to the cartoonishly evil Seed family. More on them in a minute. Oh, and you get a pet bear named Cheeseburger.

Combat and gunplay is as tight as ever, and vehicle control is so smooth it gives Grand Theft Auto a run for its’ money. The soundtrack is pretty damn good, featuring a good mix of licensed and original music and songs. To the surprise of nobody my favorite is the one that plays during the stunt missions.

Leveling and character progress has been streamlined a bit. You upgrade your skills not by gaining experience, but by completing in-game challenges and finding ‘perk magazines’ that, you guessed it, give you points to unlock...well, perks. Some may not like that, but in my opinion it makes sense because if you gained experience just by killing stuff you’d reach level 50 before your first boss fight. Things like bigger ammo bags and extra weapon holsters are no longer unlocked by animal skins but through perks, and said said skins are now exclusively a form of making money.

So that about covers it for the good, and now it’s time for the bad. The streamlining I just brought up both helps and hurts the game. On one hand it does make progressing a lot less tedious, but on the other hand it does take away a lot of what makes Far Cry stand out from other typical shooters. It feels less like they were trimming the fat and more like they were cutting corners. For starters, areas that contain loot only contain ammo, crafting components, and sometimes money. There’s no more animations for skinning animals, harvesting plants, looting corpses, or even your character opening doors. That’s not so bad, but I really miss how dynamic and, as much as I’ve grown to detest this word, cinematic meeting new characters in previous games were. Take a look at this scene in Far Cry 4 when you meet Longinus, easily one of the highlights of the game.

And here’s what happens when you meet Sharky in Far Cry 5. (MINOR SPOILERS)

See the difference? Now one can argue that meeting new characters in real time saves some...well, time and is considerably less pretentious, but it just isn’t as interesting. Far Cry 5 still has plenty of scripted cutscenes, but again, they’ve been stripped down to the bone.

Now remember what I said earlier about trying to take in the sights? This game is packed to the fucking gills with enemy NPCs. Now previous Far Cry games had plenty of enemies as well but this went way overboard to the point that you can’t walk or drive 50 feet before running into a convoy or roadblock or whatever. I speak no hyberbole when I say that by the time you’ve liberated your first region, you’ll have killed more cultists than there are people currently living in real-life Montana as well as hunted and skinned more wolves, cougars, and bears than there are wolves, cougars, and bears currently populating the US west coast. Also, in what universe can a fucking turkey pose a legitimate threat to humans!? Does Far Cry occupy the same universe as fucking South Park?

The story of Far Cry 5 is pretty straight forward, but it definitely feels like there’s some pretty big pieces missing from it. This isn’t just me, critics and players across the board agree that it feels like something was cut from the game at the last minute. This is especially true for the endings, but more on that in a bit. I can’t help but feel that the writers and developers had a lot more to say about racism, gender roles and the enforcement thereof, gun violence and gun culture in America, sexism, religious zealotry, far-right extremism, and of course this tire fire of a presidential administration, because the pieces for all of that are still there. A handful of NPCs mention gender roles for a hot second, several of the guns for hire make disparaging remarks about Trump, the symbol of Eden’s Gate strongly resembles the same symbol the Ku Klux Klan and other white supremacist groups use, Hurk’s dad is a caricature of far-right ideals purposefully exaggerated for ridicule and contempt, and there’s even a mission where you meet up with another returning character to find Trump’s pee-tape.

All of the elements are there, but the game says almost nothing about any of it. Why?

When the first trailer for the game dropped it was around the same time Wolfenstein II: the New Colossus was close to release and the same mouth-breathing shitheels who screamed about how killing Nazis in Wolfenstein was pushing an anti-white, anti-conservative agenda did the same thing for Far Cry 5. My guess is that the PR guys at Ubisoft saw the oxygen-thieving wastes of space screaming about how the game was “anti-white SJW propaganda” and then panicked and removed huge chunks of the game so as not to alienate any racist shitheads who may want to buy it. Not only does the game say almost nothing about any of the themes and elements that I mentioned earlier, but the cult of Eden’s Gate is multi-racial and gendered where most of the guys have long hair and hipster beards and all the women barring Faith Seed have short hair and buzz cuts. It’s really jarring and feels like something that was added at the last minute, as the male cultists all sound the same and the female cultists say hardly anything at all.

That brings us to the player character; they’re aren’t a character, they’re an avatar and silent protagonist. Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it feels strange. Especially when you play as a female, which I did. Now the character creation itself is fine, especially with the wide variety of outfits, but the rest is pretty bare bones. More to the point, it’s painfully obvious they designed the game with a male lead in mind and then added a gender-switch as an afterthought. Almost everyone in the game refers to you by male pronouns (which to be fair I call my ladyfriends ‘dude’ all the time) but there are a few scenes where you’re found shirtless in the game. Now call me old-fashioned, but I’d have a bit stronger of a reaction than “Oh, you startled me” if I woke up to some weirdo carving the word ‘wrath’ into my tits! I have a sneaking suspicion that they added a gender switch at the last minute because someone reminded them of the time they looked like lazy idiots for claiming your customizable assassin in Assassin’s Creed: Unity couldn’t be a woman because women were too hard to animated.

And now, let’s finally talk about the Seed Family.

We have the leader Joseph Seed, the trainer and disgraced soldier Jacob, the sadistic second in command John, and the seductress Faith. The Far Cry games are known for their charismatic villains and the seeds are no exception, and especially gripping because the second you meet any single one of them you immediately want them dead. The only problem is that, again, they’re so cartoonishly evil that the more you see them the more you want to shove them crotch-first into the mouth of a hungry grizzly bear. Vaas was always one step ahead of you and constantly in your face and Pagan Min was so suave and charming that you kind of wanted to see where he was going with it all.

Not the case with the seeds. When you see them they immediately piss you off, and the more you see them they just keep pissing you off because they keep hiding behind doors, cronies, hallucinations, or plot devices. And hey, that’s fine. As long as you get to shove the barrel of a shotgun right into their mouth and spatter their brains all over the walls of their church then who cares, right?

....

So, let’s talk about the endings of the game.

Once you’ve liberated all three regions of Hope County by killing John, Jacob, and Faith, you return to the main cult compound to arrest Joseph once again. However, once you get there and cuff him you step outside to find your allies under the brainwashing influence of the drug Bliss and a boss fight ensues. When you knock your allies out and revive them, they snap out of their Bliss-induced stupor and turn on Joseph, and once you’ve freed all of them Joseph drops like a hot rock. When Joseph is down and the day is won...this happens.

....no, really. 

Right the fuck out of nowhere a nuke lands somewhere in the outskirts of Hope County and you scramble to escape, and pretty soon you black out and wake up in a bunker chained to a bed with Joseph hovering over you saying that you’ll be his first new recruit in the cult. All the allies you previously made die as Hope County is wiped off the map and the game ends, not even giving you a continuation like previous games did and rendering every single thing you did up to this point totally and utterly meaningless.

Now some people have defended this, including the developers, saying that there are radio broadcasts in-game talking about how tensions are raising in Russia and North Korea. I spent hours driving around in the game listening to the radio and I heard no such thing, but if they’re indeed there then this only furthers my suspicion that this was a last-minute change because of the backlash from racist shitbirds and wasn’t the ending the writers and developers originally intended. 

For starters, the escalating tensions between Russia, the US, and North Korea aren’t mentioned anywhere else in the game except in the radio broadcasts (which again, I never heard) and despite the Seeds going on and on about “the collapse” we never get any idea of what the collapse is until the end of the game. It’s not even a convincing depiction of a nuke going off! Just some burning trees and a few animals dropping dead as you make your escape with Joseph in tow and neither of you having so much as a sunburn. If this ending was what they planned from the start then they would have went all out, showing in graphic detail the horrors of a nuclear holocaust. How much of a gut-punch would it have been to see Nick Rye hug his wife and newborn daughter just before the skin is blasted off their bones like that scene in Terminator 2 that made me avoid mesh fences for two fucking years? Or Jess run one of her own arrows through her heart to spare herself an agonizing death? Or hell, Hurk, one of the few returning characters in Far Cry, desperately begging the player for help as his face melts off his skull? That would have hit players and hit players hard and people, myself included, wouldn’t be bitching about how out of nowhere and shit the ending is! And that’s to say nothing of the idea of North Korea wasting one of the handful of nukes they have on rural fucking Montana! Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ, Ubisoft, how fucking stupid do you think we are!?

...okay, fair enough. But still!

Now I know what you’re probably thinking. “Well, damn, that’s grim. Anyway, what’s the good ending like?” 

That IS the good ending.

No, I’m not even kidding. Despite the end scenario being Doctor Strangelove by way of Deliverance (and no, that’s not me being snarky, the game references the movie by playing “We’ll Meet Again” during the final cutscene) that’s the good ending because you, the player, are still alive. The bad ending is that after you arrest Seed and see your friends and allies under the influence of Bliss, you’re given the option to let him go and walk away. You then then your Bliss-induced allies walk with Joseph peacefully into the church and then leave with the same three people, in which they get into a car and leave while chatting about getting the army involved and taking Seed out once and for all. One of them then turns on the radio, the song “Only You” plays, and a red haze takes over the screen just before the credits roll heavily implying that you succumbed to the brainwashing drug (which you’re exposed to several times in the game) and either attacked or killed the people you spent the time in the game trying to save. Either way, each ending renders your actions completely and utterly meaningless.

Why did they do this? Well, partially because the Far Cry writers really love the “There is no objective good or evil, everything and everyone is equally terrible” cliche and they assume everyone else does too, but once again I have no doubt in my mind that the ‘good’ ending wasn’t the original ending and was in fact a last-minute change to appease angry racists in order to not alienate what Ubisoft thinks is their core demographic. What a bucket of cocks.

Final Thoughts

Now despite the endings being complete and utter hot garbage that renders all your actions meaningless, there’s still plenty of fun to be had in Far Cry 5. The combat is satisfying, base jumping and flying around never gets old, the characters are great, and despite chickening out on the themes introduced it’s still a plenty serviceable story. It won’t be winning any awards anytime soon, and if you’re looking for some post-2016 return of the Nazis catharsis then I’d go with Wolfenstein II: the New Colossus instead, but there’s still plenty fun to be had exploring the beautiful wilds of Northwest America while gunning down religious nutjobs, hunting dangerous game, and completing side-quests from uprooting doomsday prepper bunkers to making a bull testicle cook-off to raise morale possible.

B-

A solid B-

#Far Cry #Far Cry 5 #Ubisoft #review #Nick Rye #Jess Black #Cheeseburger #Joseph Seed #John Seed #Jacob Seed #Faith Seed #testy festy