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sheliesshattered · 1 year

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Between work and needing to be super ridiculous strict about my bedtime routine to try to take on the pernicious insomnia monster that’s been trying to wreck everything, I’m finding that I can squeeze in an hour, maaaaybe two hours of work on my cosplay on weekday evenings. Weekends are slightly better, but weekends are also for all the keep-the-household-running things that I’m not doing during the week, and still forcing myself through the magical-make-Sam-sleep bedtime routine even on the weekends. My poor spoonie body cannot handle getting less than 8 hours of sleep a night, so sacrifices have to be made, no matter how much I hate it.

But even with the severe time limitations, I’m still making progress on the Rhaenyra red dress little by little. I’m working my way through adjustments to my mock-up, which is the whole point of it but is still a little tedious. The bust seam has been the worst of it, and I’m gearing up to sew version 3 of that -- tho thankfully I didn’t have to completely re-cut all four front panels for this adjustment like I had to for version 2. It’s nearly there, I just need to shave a little off the side-front and resew the seam on both sides.

Tonight I got my pinning transferred to the paper pattern, the paper pattern cut down, and the seam picked out so I can cut down the fabric version and re-sew it tomorrow. Since there’s already a mismatch between how long the straight center panel is and how long the curved side-front panel is (with the curved bit being a couple centimeters longer), and since the seam line is hitting where I want it as measured out from center front, I’m taking all the excess out of the side-front panels instead. The flatter I can make that seam the less trouble it’ll be easing it into the shorter straight panel, and since I’ve got to make this pattern up twice in two different silk fabrics, every little millimeter I can shave off of it will be a help. But like I said, I think it’s almost there, hopefully version 3 will be the final version.

I also did a second version of the sleeve in my last round of adjustments, and besides lengthening the bit that can be sewed by machine (vs left open so it’s wide enough for my hand to get through, and then hand-finished and done up with little hooks-and-loops) by about 6cm, the sleeve is looking perfect. That adjustment was easy to transfer to my paper pattern, so the sleeve at least is all ready to go.

The last adjustment I want to make is actually narrowing the skirt through the hips, and thus narrowing the hem a bit as well. Looking at how it fits on Rhaenyra, at least in ep8 when we get a good look at the back, it’s really quite fitted through the mid or even low hip. Right now I’ve got waaaay too much ease through the hips, so I pinned it in a bit when I was also pinning in the bust, and it looks like I need to take out about 32cm at the low hips (so 3.2cm on each of the 10 panels) and about 10cm total at the high hips. Tonight I only got as far as checking that against my original body measurements from last month, but taking it in by that much would result in a skirt just slightly bigger than those measurements, which is right where I want it to be.

But it’ll also mean that the skirt is significantly narrower at the hem. I haven’t done the math yet (and probably won’t tbh), but I do want to cut down one of the skirt paper patterns and use that to mark new sewing lines on each of the 10 panels so I can take it in and see how it feels at that size. If the skirt is too narrow at the hem I need to know that before I start cutting it out of the various silk layers.

Hopefully I can get to those adjustments tomorrow, and maybe even sew up all the new measurements and check the fit. But even if it takes me a few more days to finish up the fitting portion of this, I’m not really running behind -- I’ve ordered a bunch of stuff online for this project, including ultra fine pins and machine needles, fine cotton thread, the silk jacquard for the dress itself (from a place in India where they hand-make it!), the silk organza for the under dress, and the second of the two trims for the dress (the first having arrived weeks ago). Of all that, only the silk organza has arrived, and without the needles and thread there’s only so far I can get with that, anyway. I can trace the pattern pieces onto the organza, but I want to stay-stitch in the seam allowance before I cut it out, so that step can’t happen until my JoAnn’s order arrives.

Besides those bits, I still need to order the three types of beads that go on the dress, grommets to lace up the back and lace on the sleeves, and the wig, rings, and earrings to complete the look. I’ve already ordered the necklace, since I’ll need that to decide on the exact height of the neckline, and hopefully it’ll be here soon -- it’s coming from Italy but it’s already cleared customs, so keeping my fingers crossed that the mailman will have a very special delivery for me soon.

I was having a bit of a blah day yesterday, largely because of stuff going on at work, and had a moment of wondering why I was even bothering with this cosplay, who is even going to care. And then the silk organza arrived and it’s like pure joy in fabric form, and I remembered, oh yeah, I care that I’m making this beautiful thing, just for the joy of wearing a beautiful thing and representing a character that I love on my body. In the end, that’s what cosplay is for me, that’s why I put so much time and effort into making something like this. If I think about the whole project together it’s a bit overwhelming, but each individual step is something I can handle, so I’m just going to keep plodding along, an hour or two here and there, until I finally have something beautiful to wear.

And with that, I should really make myself get on with my evening routine so I can actually sleep tonight -- and hopefully not have pattern drafting dreams again, lol. Wish me luck.

#my sewing #my cosplay #cosplay plans #RRD cosplay #every time I get super annoyed at work Jack reminds me that the PAYING GIG is why I'm able to make cosplays #and go to a con on the other side of the country to wear it #he's right and that makes it all worth it #Jack is my all-time favorite coworker have I mentioned?#my adventure in suddenly working again #2023 mood

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ashes-0f-phoenix · 2 years

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Being a non-essential worker during an economic recession be like "job stability? what job stability?"

#i got a 9-5 doing translation #got my freelance sewing / tailoring gig #and the occasional sex work #still completely broke

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flamingo-writes · 10 months

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A/N: i am back from the dead after months. And it should’ve come as a surprise that I absolutely loved Hobie. Looks like a rockstar and is an absolute punk. My type in a nutshell.

I’m gonna be using some of these headcanon for future

Gal in The Chair — Hobie Brown x Artist!Reader

I think Hobie would be the kind of guy to fall for someone who he’s known for a long while, that being said, you’d perhaps known him all of your life

Having grown together, the two of you shaped a lot of each other’s beliefs. So no wonder the two of you were so compatible.

After the spider bite, you saw the whole journey from Hobie freaking out at first, to him figuring out how to use his new abilities.

He designed his web shooters, being the genius he is with technology. You helped him with his suit, specially his mask.

You became his Gal in the Chair

You liked to fix up and personalise clothes. All of your pieces of clothings came from second hand shops and you gave them a make over doing all sorts of stuff on them to make them unique and yours.

You also did this with a lot of Hobie’s clothes. As well as teaching him how to use your sewing machine.

After graduating high school, you opened a small alternative clothing shop in with unique pieces, doing the same thing you did for your clothes on this one. As well as doing hand made jewerly like bracelets, necklaces and earrings. You also had a talent with plants, managing to almost magically bring plants back to life and reproduce them like crazy, you added selling plants into your small business.

As Spider-Man gained traction, he low key promoted your work to his followers and people who agreed with him. This in order to keep negative attention from falling on you, and keep bad guys from thinking and theorising that maybe you knew Spider-Man.

As a side gig, you educated yourself on coffee making, and learned about the different processes and types of coffee beans there were. It started as a hobby, but soon you also implemented that into your shop.

The fact that you were so versatile, made Hobie feel incredibly proud of you. You seemed to be so independent, and creative and that never ending curiosity and passion made him harvest feelings for you.

Eventually, the close friendship, and companionship grew into affectionate and romantic feelings.

Hobie was always flirty, but it wasn’t until now that you started behaving differently. Normally he played his electric guitar but now you found him playing his acoustic guitar more.

He showed you a song he wrote. And while it was unusual —however, not imposible— to hear a romantic song coming from him, it wasn’t until the first minute that you realised the song was about you.

That’s how he chose to tell you about his feelings.

He didn’t intend for it to be this romantic, he simply one day word vomited the song and used one free afternoon to add the music.

After hearing his song, it was actually you who grabbed him and kissed him.

More than satisfied with the outcome, he kissed you back, put his guitar down and pulled you over his lap.

You two became inseparable since. You already were, but now it was more evident.

You worked at home, doing all the creative things you did, selling them, helping Spider-Man with art shows and gigs.

Those who paid close attention, they were able to determine you were some sort of associate to Spider-Man. However, all of them were also punks and anarchist so of course they kept their mouths shut. Spider-Man was always looking out for those in need. They were going to help a brother back and not tell anyone whenever any authority or weird-looking threat asked if anyone knew Spider-Man, or someone close to him.

You became widely known between Spider-Man supporters, although none of them would ever dare to snitch on you.

After Hobie met Gwen, she brought her over, you two became close friends right away. Letting Gwen crash at your place more often than not. She even offered to help you with the dishes and the groceries as thanks for letting her stay.

“You’re Hobie’s friend, you’re welcome whenever you want,” You’d told her.

Pav was also a frequent visitor. He loved your coffee, he taught you how to make chai. And you had chai ready for whenever Hobie told you Pav was going to be there.

Pav also bought plants from you all the time. Most of them for his mom. He once asked you if you could make a set of earrings and a necklace for his mom.

The set was a success and Pav always told you how much she loved them,

Eventually Miles also came around. And it wasn’t until Miles met you that his suspicions of Hobie and Gwen dating dissappeared.

Miles saw the absolute pure love with which Hobie looked at you. He still made the same sarcastic and cheeky jokes while talking to you. But the way he looked at you was completely different to the way he looked at anyone else.

Hobie convinced Miles to buy a plant and some earrings for his mother.

“Listen mate, this is what my girl does for a living. Plus the world needs to learn to appreciate the handiwork of an artisan,”

Miles was even surprised at how Hobie still looked cool while being mushy and cheesy with you as he hugged you, kissed your head, or played with your hands or hair.

Hobie had zero fucks to give about what people think about him, he doesn’t give a shit about PDA. Gwen thinks it’s gross, Pav thinks it’s adorable, Miles is simply puzzled as to how he is still cool when seeing his parents doing the same thing would make him cringe so hard.

Hobie is amused by the different reactions he gets. Especially Gwen’s grossed out face.

He still loves kissing you every chance he gets. Whether if it’s kissing you passionately. A subtle peck. Sweet kissed on your cheek or your forehead.

#hobie headcanons #hobie x reader #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown #hobie brown headcanons #hobie brown fanfiction

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chekovsphaser · 2 years

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I make a lot of jokes about not doing anything with my life/not having a job, but like, I do actually do things. A lot of them as favours, sure, but some for pay. I don't actually sit on my ass doing fuck all constantly. So no, I am not available to drop everything at a moment's notice to travel across the country to do you a favour, mother, I do actually have a life

#i joke about being unemployed but #im a freelancer not completely unemployed #and that means i do actually have things to do that other people expect from me #like when i get a translation thing it's alwys 'urgent'#and i have a sewing commussions lined up which require me to have access to my machine and materials #on weekends i take care of my grandmother #yeah i can do lesson plans and teaching remotely #but i don't do NOTHING fuck you #like yes i would like to have a job so i can stop begging for gigs #but i am not completely idle

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seth-the-giggle-fish · 1 year

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I fixed one of the issues I had with my 1908 corset!!! I can now actually close the busk properly aside from the bottom stud not lining up properly with it's tab (and I think that's more of a manufacturing issue where it fit okay-ish but stopped working as soon as fabric was added to the equation)

if I make it again I'll use either a busk with taller studs or just accept that I'll need to use a thinner material for the fashion fabric, also add a tiny bit to the side bottom for my frankly silly amount of hip spring

The last few things I need to do is to add the garter clips and a little bit of lace on the top just to pretty it up a little. And I guess finish the corset cover I started.

EDIT: okay so to make the bottom stud line up I just need to start closing the corset at the bottom instead of the top cool

#gigs sewing #art blogging #corset stuff #it's like wearing a hug #no I don't tight lace because I'm not about that

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rinrinx2 · 2 months

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My Brothers Wife

Sewe

Ran x (Y/N) x Rindou

Summary: A change of tides is on its way

Warnings: Mentions of S@, mentions of @bortion, language, mature content, kinda smut, angsty.

My brothers wife Masterlist

You looked the young lady up and down, her skin pale, her eye bags dark as if she hadn’t slept in months. And worst of all was the physique as you caught small glimpses of it as her heavy brown coat would move around making it able for you to see the bloating of her abdomen and the swelling of her ankles.

“So, you’re the woman my husbands been fucking?” You asked rhetorically, without much care to how you spoke to her.

“Yes” she said with her head hung low.

“And why are you by my house door, begging to see me?” You questioned on.

“Well, this isn’t your house door this is Haitani Ran’s”

“Congratulation detective you’ve cracked the case. But I’m sure you know exactly how my house looks by now. Tell me how many times has Rindou brought you over there”

You watched as her faced turned in distaste as you spoke, you didn’t care if your words held venom to them.

You felt hurt and betrayed and when things finally started to feel hopefully you see the brunt of your husbands actions standing at your door step.

“I didn’t come here to argue with you” she spoke on looking you in the eyes.

“Then why are you here?”

The brunette took a deep breath, as if calming herself before she spoke on.

“I came here to ask for help” she said as she let go of all the oxygen in her lungs.

“Help with what?” You said now with a raised eyebrow.

“Help with the baby. This is Rindou’s” she said as she moved her coat open to display a semi round belly as a smile began crept onto her face.

The little restraint your held had snapped and Ran could sense it to all the way from his study, as he heard your chair scrape against the wooden floors.

“You asking me to help with your baby?!” You said now standing to your full height, as she remained seated at the opposite end of the table.

“Yes, you know we could work out something. Like help pay for medical bills and you know baby supplies. This whole secretary gig doesn’t pay the best”

“I mean that makes sense” you said with that fake laugh that lulled others into a false sense of security.

The young lady began to laugh with actually believing that you agreed with her.

“You’ve got some fucken nerve. You seek me out to ask for help because you got knocked up by my husband, so instead of trying to muster up an apology you go ahead and have the audacity to ask me to pay the bills of your kid”

You looked at the brunette starring daggers into her just as she did the same to you, now having a starring contest as anger shoot from each of your gazes.

“Get the fuck out of my house” you commanded.

“Like I said earlier this isn’t your house” she said now standing up herself, as she kept eye contact with you.

“Get the fuck out” you heard Ran say from behind you causing you to let go of your eyes on her.

“Make me. I’m not leaving here till use tell me where Rindou is” she said now changing the reason as to why she was invading your comfort of your home.

Without another breath wasted on her, you heard the clicking of Ran’s gun as he unholstered it from its casing. The loaded barrel pointing straight in her direction.

“You’d shoot a pregnant woman” she said in disbelief.

“I’ve done worst” Ran replied nonchalantly as he played with the trigger.

“Tell me where Rindou is” she continued on as she stamped her feet into the wooden floor, the wood letting out an aching noise.

“It’s not my fault my brother fucked you and discarded you. You should’ve taken his advice when it came to you getting pregnant.”

“Oh, and also scuff my floor again and you’ll end up laying dead on it” Ran added.

You watched as she turned around in defeat as she stormed to the door, her hand at the door knob as she turned it. So close to leaving until she tried to twist it and was unable to, and then suddenly the door flung open showing none other than Rindou.

“(Y/N) please talk to me about this” he said as he looked only at you not even noting the woman he’d been fucking or his brother aiming a gun at him.

“Perfect timing Rin, you can take your woman and both fuck off out of my house” Ran said with a smile as he moved to stand beside you.

You don’t remember how long Rindou stood in the door way begging to get a word out of you or how long that young lady nagged on Rindou’s arm for him to spare her a glance, you could only recall Ran letting a bullet whizz pass the two of them missing them by a millimetre. A good enough warning to get the two of them to finally leave.

“You think you’re going to have a peaceful day then that shit happens” Ran said as he laid draped over your lower half just below your bump as you played with the tuffles of his hair.

You remained silent not commenting on Ran remark, rather keeping attention on anything other than the situation you were in.

And you let that silent build up until finally it snapped within and all your worries frame bubbling out like ocean foam on the shore.

“Ran, I feel like this is all my fault” you said as you stop playing with his hair.

Ran lifted his head from your lap as you tried to look you in your eyes as your head hung low.

“It’s not (Y/N)” he said softly as he tried to reach out for you, but you pulled away from his touch.

“I just feel like none of this would’ve happened if i just didn’t start sleeping with you, I’m like a slut I just can’t help myself when it comes to you” you said holding back tears.

“It’s just the effect I have on women” Ran said with a snicker trying to lighten the mood but it was when he heard your sniffles and saw the reflection of your tears in the light did he realise the severity of the situation.

“Come in don’t cry, it’s not your fault really. I played a part in this two and when we started seeing each other Rindou was already 3 months in deep with that secretary”

Ran said trying to comfort you but did little of the way of helping as you continued to sulk, now with your hands covering your eyes as you sobbed harder.

Your cries echoed throughout the room for what felt like forever and your mind plagued you with thoughts of guilt.

“You know I started seeing because I always loved you” Ran said quietly, more to himself than anyone as he now kept his gaze lowered.

“And I know you might think that I’m just saying that because of what’s happening but I mean it. I remember when Rindou and I went to that club and we saw you. I was going to go up to you but I saw the excitement in Rindou’s eyes and let him go after you. I thought nothing much would come of it and then I’d get to speak to you afterwards but I was wrong. You looked at him the way I wished someone would look at me and you laughed at all his horrible jokes and when things got serious between the two of you I would hope something horrible would happen so you’d call the wedding off, but nothing ever did. And on your wedding day when I saw you I nearly cried tears of joy because for a minute it almost felt like you were walking down the aisle to spend the rest of your life with me. So, when I heard about how Rindou was having an affair and how it was affecting your marriage and he was neglecting you it was like my luck had finally changed and I did my best to show that I cared even if I did it the wrong way….

…and I’m sorry it ended up like this, I should’ve just told you what he was doing instead of getting tangled up in this. So, if you’re going to blame someone blame me. I love you to much to have you feel the guilt of this all”

You eyes still wet from your freshly fallen tears as you heard Ran quietly speak as he remained unaware that you listened so attentively.

Ran finally looked up, seeing you sit puffy lips and red rimmed eyes that held so much admiration and love towards him.

For a moment neither of you said a word just the two of you slowly approaching each other until you felt your lips softly collide.

Taking in each other’s breath, feeling as his tongue swirled around yours.

His hands travelling along your sides, gently squeezing them as they moved venturing across your body.

His hands dipping in between your thighs as two fingers pressed against your clothed cunt as his other hand played with your ever hardening nipples.

His fingers finally moving your panties to the side as he began to play at the outside of your pussy, teasing your clit but never fully sinking in until you began to whine out in need.

“Ran please” you begged out.

But all Ran did was let out a chuckle as he bit you lip playfully as he pulled his fingers away.

“You’re gonna have to wait if you want more”

You looked over at Ran as you gave him a stare that could kill, while he licked at his fingers shooting you a smirk.

“You know we can just elope” Ran said licking the last of your remnants off of his fingers.

“Real funny Ran” you commented back at what you presumed was a snarky remark.

“I’m being serious. Rindou is on your case and I doubt that but job of a secretary is going to be any better. So, why not, just you, me and Ran junior over there”

“How about Hong Kong.Mikey has a sister headquarters up there, I could ask to supervise there I mean I heard they kinda doing shit so instead of Mikey being situated there for awhile I can” Ran said with all his attention on you now.

“What ya say, gorgeous?”

“If you make me cum then it’s a yes” you said teasingly.

“So, then it’s a yes” Ran said as he now moved back onto your body.

Rindou walked into headquarters with full skin and new worry lines that a man of his age should not have dawned. He knew what he did was reckless and careless but he was trying his best to make amends.

And his thoughts of trying to fix things felt like porcelain falling onto the floor when he heard the voice of the woman who he dreaded.

“Rindou” she called out from the front desk trying to get his attention before he could make it to the elevator.

“Rin!” She called out louder this time.

“Rinnie!”

The name calling finally irritating Rindou enough to get his attention, as he now stormed towards her.

“I told you not to call me that” he said through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry it’s just I haven’t seen you since that day at your brothers house”

“And you weren’t suppose to see me since 5 months ago when I paid you off enough for you to live a new life” Rindou said in an irritated tone.

“I’m pregnant Rindou, you can’t just neglect that fact” she said with the same venom back towards him.

“Well Suki, you weren’t suppose to be now because we had an agreement”

“Oh that would make your life so much easier just to get rid of that wouldn’t it” Suki said with a scowl.

“Yes it would. God, you fuck me when I’m shit blown out of my mind which sounds like a fucking criminal offence because it is and now you knocked up and won’t stop harassing me”

“Well would you look at that, the gangster caring about the law how ironic” Suki said with a grin

“And let’s not forget to mention the fact that you are the one who neglected your wife enough for her to go find comfort by your brother, so you really are the one at fault.”

“Fuck you” Rindou said as he turned on his heels.

“You wish you could” Suki said with a laugh.

She watched as Rindou walked towards the elevator not even sparring her a departing glance. She hated how he hated her, she hated the fact that she was regret and mistake in his eyes.

When Suki got this job as a secretary a year ago she didn’t know that’s when she would see the man of her dreams, with his lilac mullet and charming gaze.

And when the time came when he was tripping his was over to her desk, barely able to hold himself up she knew that she had to take the opportunity. She had to somehow get into his pants, and when she did she took full advantage of it never once letting up from his dick as she let him cum in her over and over.

She loved Rindou and when she found out he had a wife she knew she’d love him more than you ever could. She knew everything about him, how he liked his coffee to how he liked to get his dick wet. And when she heard from a passing by Ran who was talking to Kakucho how he’d been neglecting you for his duties at Bonten she knew it be a waiting game till she was the new Mrs. Haitani.

Rindou let out a sigh as he sat at his desk. His hands combing through his hair as he thought of the mess he was in. He couldn’t stand the time he was away from you, the house felt so soulless without you in it, no warmth from your love to keep it vibrant and he knew the way the situation looked just made you hate him more.

He couldn’t change the way you saw the situation with him being the villain because you saw him as some guy who was fucking the secretary and that’s why you neglected him, he wish he could show you that it wasn’t like that. All Rindou wished was that he’d be able to tell you was that he didn’t fuck his secretary on purpose she would come onto him when he was high off of whatever drug in some stupor unable to comprehend anything when she’d come after him. He would never fuck another woman, but how could he tell you that because you’d be upset at the fact that he was doing activities you told him to stop as well as still telling him that it takes two to tango.

Every way he looked at the situation he always came out with him being the villain and he hated himself for it.

Rindou let out a sigh as he threw his head on the desk. So distraught he hadn’t heard Kakucho enter his office.

“What’s gotten you like that” the younger male asked.

“My life is in the shit” Rindou replied not even lifting his head up.

“Yeah guess that’s been the buzz of the office, but don’t let it defeat you. Takeomi was in a similar predicament but him and his wife are stronger than ever now”

“Takeomi got taken advantage of by one of our secretaries, who got herself knocked up on your semen. While simultaneously neglecting his wife because he was so stressed with work that his own brother noticed and started giving his wife attention that cause the two to fall in love and have an affair that now had his wife pregnant” Rindou said as he had raised his head from the desk.

“I mean something along those lines but probably not the same details” Kakucho said with a nervous smile as he scratched the back of his head.

“Thanks for the support Kakucho” Rindou said as he dropped his head back onto his desk.

“Don’t mention it” Kakucho replied with a gleeful smile unable to read the severity of Rindou’s situation.

“Well anyway, Mikey called you into his office”

Rindou heard as Kakucho left his office as he began to pick himself up from his desk.

Rindou walked through the corridors till he reached Mikey’s office with its large glass windows that allowed you to look into his office.

Large enough to give him the full sight of his brother talking to Mikey.

Rindou walked into his office not caring that Mikey and Ran were still talking.

“You called” Rindou said sluggishly, as he looked at him and Ran who were still talking.

“So it’s settled you’ll be going to Hong Kong then” Mikey said finishing up talking to Ran.

Rindou sat down in a chair watching Ran left without sparing his older brother a glance.

“So Ran’s finally leaving” Rindou said with a snicker.

“Matter of fact he is” Mikey replied which caused Rindou’s attention to be fully on Mikey now.

Rindou’s heart began to beat faster at the idea of his brother finally leaving Tokyo, it was as if his prays were being answered and he’d finally be able to get you back with his brother’s absence.

“That’s why I called you in here today. I need you to take over Ran’s responsibilities in Roppongi as well as few other areas since he’ll be moving to Hong Kong”

A smile began to spread on Rindou’s face at the news of his brother leaving. For the first time in a long time things were finally looking up for him.

“Will do” Rindou said trying to hold his composure.

“Yeah and please don’t fuck the areas in giving you any further than they are, ever since Ran’s been busy with (Y/N) his been disregarding some of his work”

“Don’t worry I won’t” Rindou said with a smirk full of hope.

“Yeah let’s hope Ran doesn’t do the same with since she’s going with to Hong Kong”

And the minute Rindou heard Mikeys words his smile fell.

“What do you mean she’s going with” Rindou questioned, already knowing the answer.

“(Y/N) is going with Ran to Hong Kong”

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chaoticbardlady99 · 1 month

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Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me

(Spawn Astarion x F! Ghost Reader) : Prologue

Synopsis: You’ve haunted Szarr Palace for 354 years after Donella Szarr failed to turn you into a spawn. You have favored Astarion over the other spawn for the last two centuries and after a series of events and a Paul Revere-esque mission to save him from being kidnapped- you finally meet each other in the flesh.

CW: Death (obviously), mentions of Astarion’s trauma, mentions of Gore, mentions of Gale x Tav

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. Birdie is a stock image 💜 I will not describe the readers body in detail- she is just merely on the banner for ✨drama✨. I believe the picture of Astarion is from @aristenfromwarsaw . And then the symbol of Orcus in the back is a free image off the internet.

Chapter One : AO3

Your paws hit the pavement as you frantically search for Elfsong Tavern. You haven’t left Szarr Palace since you died there so many years ago- you didn’t even know what the Hells an Elfsong Tavern was until Dalyria had told Cazador that was where Astarion was staying.

It’s still just before sunset so there is still plenty of time to warn the group about the upcoming kidnapping attempt- you just hope one of them is a Druid.

You aren’t naturally a cat- you’re a ghost and you’ve been haunting Szarr Palace since Donella Szarr killed you what feels like eons ago. You had been merely walking home one evening from a Violin gig you had barely managed to get- it had gone so well that they had asked you to come back and play next week. Oh how life had other plans for poor 28-year-old you who made her entire life about music and died never experiencing romance, true companionship, etc. You had grown up isolated amongst nobles, but you knew of Donella Szarr so her asking you to have tea with her didn’t seem that bizarre.

Needless to say- it was weird watching your own funeral.

No matter how hard you tried, you could never cross over and Gods did you want to. You didn’t even care if you became incorporeal or went on to the Heavens- you just wanted to be able to actually talk to people and do things again. You were incredibly apathetic and haunting with no purpose. You’re a house ghost who has no say over the house- you can’t even help fix things in the damn place without asking to be exorcised.

Your misery was reduced significantly a little over 140 years later when Astarion Acunin experienced his first night in Cazador’s kennels. His screams haunted you and you are the one who is supposed to be doing the haunting!

You did everything you could to try to make his time with Cazador somewhat bearable, but your efforts were too small and you feel as if you failed him. You tried to possess Cazador and it went miserably- you had almost been consumed by the darkness in him entirely. You had been a mere fly to his soul.

You were able to possess Godey easily enough, but you had to be careful because he has sent Cazador on a multitude of Ghost hunts before.

Astarion knew you were around- he’d acknowledge you as ‘Ghosty’ whenever his candle would flicker out and then come back full force for him to finish sewing his clothing. He could sense your presence at other times too- one time you had been certain he was able to see you as you sat with him for the duration of Cazador’s ‘poem’.

You favor Astarion over the other spawn, but you have come to justify it as Astarion was the one who needed your help more. He was frequently the subject of Cazador’s rage and need for violence. You know it’s because he resembles Vellioth to some extent and you are certain that’s why he targeted Astarion in the first place.

Cazador introduced himself to Astarion when he was a young magistrate. It had been at one of his many lavish affairs and you had seen the menacing glint in Cazador’s eyes when the young man walked in with some over the top female on his arm.

Cazador asked Astarion to begin convicting people wrongfully and sending them to Szarr Palace. He offered a handsome amount of gold and Astarion took the offer without a thought. You immediately knew this man had signed over his soul- knowingly or unknowingly, you had no idea.

Things became even messier when Cazador began to have the closest thing to love he could feel for the young magistrate. Astarion was very intelligent- he wasn’t charismatic naturally, but he knew how to study behavior and work around it. He knew what Cazador wanted to hear.

So when Cazador found out Astarion had taken another deal on the side as well as potentially a more formal lover, well, he had signed over his fate. Cazador framed a Gur Hunter, Astarion sent him to the other group of slavers instead of Cazador, and Cazador let the Gur know this anonymously ‘in good faith’.

At first you thought it was just karma doing it’s work, but then you learned that Astarion was just another young person like you who was just trying to figure it out. Where you thought you were doing your duty by meeting with a noble, he felt he was doing his- at first at least. He had been sending a reasonable sum of money back home to his parents, but he became greedy and ended up paying for that with a life sentence.

Some higher power must be merciful because it had seemed that Astarion had managed to escape Cazador for good.

Then the moron decided to come back and now Cazador is sending Leon after him with three of the other house spawn.

You don’t care for possessing any living soul- a tacky couch? Maybe, but only because it doesn’t have thoughts. However, desperate times called for desperate measures and you are really regretting not getting the gumption to possess a person.

You are far too cute with your fluffy grey and white fur and big green eyes. People keep trying to scoop you up in their arms and children chase after you. Other cats are just plain rude and unhelpful- you have no idea how you are going to find this Tavern.

“You seem rather lost, little ghost,” a voice says from a nearby tree.

You peer upwards to see a Calico Tressym eyeing you curiously. If you weren’t so focused on finding Astarion, maybe you would be mad at her for openly announcing you are a ghost.

“I’m looking for someone,” you say as you try to catch your breath, “I need to get to Elfsong Tavern as soon as possible.”

This seems to interest the Tressym because she immediately jumps down with a serious expression on her face.

“Who and why?”

Screw it- you don’t have time to be picky.

“I’m looking for a man named Astarion- his life is in danger,” you say quickly.

She seems to digest this information for a moment as she circles you. Her eyes explore your fluffy form and she seems to decide you are trustworthy because she beckons for you to follow her.

You race after her as she flies over the buildings and lands- wait, why is she landing in front of that man in purple on the beach!? That’s not Astarion or a Tavern!

In spite of your confusion, your gut pushes you forward and before you know it- the man you are looking for comes waltzing out of a house with a disgusted look on his face while a tall, red tiefling woman holds a very old heart in a jar.

“Astarion,” the man, Gale, tries not to make his own panic too obvious, “come here.”

“You’re going to have to do better than that to interest me, Gale,” he says with an emphasis on the man’s name, “why should I?”

“For God’s sake- it’s about Cazador,” the man hisses.

This grabs his and his other three companion’s attention. They immediately huddle around Gale- the silver haired woman immediately aweing upon seeing you and the blonde haired woman intertwining her hands with Gale’s. The red tiefling is still holding the heart and you gag upon seeing it which earns a laugh from the group.

“What about Cazador?”

Astarion’s voice betrays the panic he’s feeling- for whatever reason, his panic prompts him to scratch you between your ears. You fight the urge to purr. You are a person- dammit! A dead one, but a person nonetheless!

“This Ghost,” Gale says with uncertainty while pointing to you, “is saying that Cazador is sending Leon, Aurelia, Yousen, and Violet later tonight to detain you.”

“She was practically barreling through streets- poor thing was about to experience her second death,” adds Tara.

“Apparently it was a suicide mission,” Gale adds.

You are suddenly lifted up from underneath your arms and a pair of ruby red eyes are boring into yours. After a few moments, a giggle of all damn things exits this man’s mouth.

“There are at least five or six useless thralls you could have possessed and you chose a cat?”

You flatten your ears and leer at him before attempting to communicate with him- only to be disappointed when an angry yowl leaves your little mouth. Astarion fucking giggles again. THIS IS SERIOUS!

“This is far more adorable though, I will give you that,” Astarion says as he begins to walk towards the tavern with you now cradled in his arms.

You never would have found the damn place on your own. It was clear on the other side of the city!

“It’s a shame I can’t understand you a single bit,” Astarion says, “I would love to know how Cazador has been fairing without me there.”

Terribly, but in a crazed, rage filled way. Unfortunately poor Dalyria and Petras had been receiving the treatment usually reserved for Astarion. You were happy to see him thriving, but it does make you sad that it had to cost two other people’s dignity and comfort.

The moment the party enters the room and announces that they are anticipating an attack once the sun sets, everyone jumps up and prepares themselves for the coming battle.

Astarion places you on his bed before grabbing a green bottle and chugging it. He then proceeds to look at you expectantly and you have no idea what he is doing, but it’s starting to kind of freak you out because neither one of you is blinking and he’s beginning to look more and more like the predator he is.

“I don’t think I like this game,” you say, “you look rather terrifying when you don’t blink for long periods of time.”

“Oh, but terrifying is what I aim to be, Darling,” Astarion says with a toothy grin, “I don’t want any of them reporting to Cazador that I’m still the pathetic vampire spawn I was before I went missing.”

“You were never pathetic,” the words come out of your mouth harshly, “and if you must know- they are reporting to Cazador that you practically have a whole army of ‘do gooders’ by your side.”

“Oh really? Do tell me, how does that make him feel?”

“He was surprised at first.”

“Naturally.”

“But then he heard about Orin’s death and your part in it- he’s worried, to say the least.”

“Good,” Astarion snarls, “he should be.”

The siblings arrive exactly when you said they would and they are surprised to see everyone prepared to see them. You are absolutely floored when Astarion tries to convince them that he’ll ascend all of them- he has to know by now that that is not what this ritual will do. You notice the uneasy glances between Astarion’s companions.

If they really are the heroes Dalyria made them out to be, will they truly let him ascend without contest?

There wasn’t time for any questions as the other spawn rush the group. You did manage to help in the fight- Astarion was being cornered by Violet and Leon so you took it upon yourself to wreak havoc upon Violet’s scalp. She went back home pretty quickly and Astarion was able to take on Leon with ease.

Now you sit in front of a big window and take in the moon. Your heart breaks for the 7,000 souls beneath Szarr Palace and the six other house spawn. Poor little Victoria had finally been taken away from the city and replaced with someone else- Leon promised he’d come find her. Gods you hope she doesn’t think Leon purposefully abandoned her. She’s a great kid.

“You seem to be thinking rather hard for a cat.”

“You lied to them.”

The silence between you is deafening before you finally look up at him. Astarion’s face is conflicted and guarded as he searches your features for any indication of what you are feeling. Cats aren’t terribly expressive apparently.

“Don’t give me that disappointed ‘I’m not getting cuddly, Astarion’ look!”

You feel your hackles raise slightly and your tail get puffy as you get up on your feet. You narrow your eyes at Astarion and he meets yours with equal amounts of stubbornness.

“I’ll give you this look for the rest of your damn life if that’s what it’s going to take!” You exclaim, “you can’t kill them! They have suffered too! Dalyria and Petras both tried to keep as much information as they could about you and your companions so that you stood a chance against him! Leon just wants to be with Victoria as a free man!

“The rest of them… they think it’s going to free them… they are all talking about what they want to do with their lives after this,” you say with anger and sadness in your voice, “You can’t take that from them.Their lives are not yours to take!”

“I hate to disappoint you,” Astarion says with venom lacing his words, “but I could care less about what they went through and their wants or their souls for that matter. No one was there for me, well besides you, but not everyone is an overly friendly Ghost like you.”

Your eyes become blurry and Astarion’s face goes from anger to shock and confusion. It takes a moment to collect yourself, but when you do- you make sure to say exactly what you are thinking.

“It makes me sad.”

“What does?”

“That you ended up being no better than Cazador,” you say flatly, “I thought I saw some redeeming qualities in you. I guess I was wrong.”

You watch it take all of his willpower not to snap your neck right there or pick you up and chuck you against the wall. The woman, Karlach, seems to notice his sudden shift in energy because she’s quickly walking over and scooping you up off the windowsill.

“You look like you need to take a breather, Fangs,” Karlach chuckles awkwardly, “maybe you should go hunting. We’ll be leaving to storm the castle before you know it.”

So he does and Karlach takes you over to her bed.

“That was awfully harsh, Boo,” Karlach says, “a gentler touch may have been better.”

“Karlach, I’ve been a ghost for almost 400 years. I have been forced to watch either Donella, Vellioth, or Cazador terrorize handfuls of people,” you shake your head, “Cazador is the worst of the worst- he’s terrorized over 7,000 people at this point and that ritual will kill all of them. Yet the soul I’m most upset about losing is Astarion’s.

“So yes, it was harsh, but it needed to be said.”

Karlach is quiet for a moment, “I suppose that’s true… but 7,000 people? I thought there were only 7 vampire spawn?”

“What? Who in the hells told you that?”

“Fangs- obviously.”

Oh right, he wouldn’t know that every person he’s ever shared a bed with is rotting away, starving in Cazador’s dungeon.

“No,” you say softly, “unfortunately there is a lot more going on than Astarion knows.”

**********************************************************************

Astarion is the first through the door when the group comes back from Szarr Palace. You have been sitting on Karlach’s bed the entire time- pacing anxiously. Scratch and the Owlbear cub would ask you to play with them, but you couldn’t get rid of the twisting knot in your stomach.

He goes to his bed and grabs a new change of clothes before weakly walking in the direction of the washroom. Karlach makes eye contact with you when she walks through the doors and she gives you a big smile.

Wait, does that mean?

She follows it with a thumbs up.

He didn’t do it. Holy Gods he didn’t do it! BUT WHY!?

You have a million questions, but you’re sure he doesn’t want to talk to you anytime soon. You bid a farewell to Karlach and the other companions. She tries to convince you to stay and talk to Astarion before deciding to leave, but you merely shake your head. You said your piece and you can return to haunting a now empty castle.

Or maybe you’ll be a cat around Baldur’s Gate. Tara seems to enjoy wandering around and you did forget how lovely the sun feels.

The walk back to Szarr Palace goes far smoother than your adventure finding Elfsong Tavern. The courtyard is still in bloom so the scent of red roses acts as your guide. Gods- Cazador was such a cliché. You hope these roses die and someone decides to plant literally anything else. Maybe you could figure out how to? You can dig hypothetically.

So that’s what you do. You begin digging out the crap ass red roses and do your best not to get caught on thorns. After the fourth or fifth rose, you have it down to a science and you’ve gotten quite a lot of work done on one flower bed. This cat thing isn’t all that bad!

Well, minus your excessive need for water and food, but there’s a running fountain nearby so that’s promising. The food part is going to be the harder part. You haven’t had to eat for centuries now and the growling in your belly is entirely foreign to you.

Should you try to steal food? Honestly, you’re adorable enough, you could probably beg for some food. Trying to hunt for a mouse is absolutely off the table and forget a bird all together.

You look up at the sky. The last bits of daylight cling to the horizon and the moon begins to kiss the sky. You are going to keep working until the sun has set, you’ll attempt to clean up, and then you'll sucker some people into giving you food.

Back to digging it is!

You continue your work and think about what you may plant. Maybe you could find seeds for food- there are plenty of homeless who could use it, but would they dare go to Szarr Palace for produce? The idea makes you snort. Donella would be infuriated if you turned the front of her “work of art” into a free farmer’s market for the needy.

“Are you taking up gardening now? I think it suits you,” a familiar voice says, “well, maybe more so if you were actually a person and not a cat.”

You slowly turn around and you’re met with the sight of a sheepish Astarion. He absentmindedly plays with his own hands, but you are happy to see some of the tension melt away when he sees your face and begins laughing.

“You are caked in dirt, Darling.”

“I would hope so- if this is something else then I have a real problem on my hands.”

“Ha!” Astarion says, “I don’t think you have any reason to fret. I can’t remember the last time Cazador had anyone tend to these stupid things.”

“Oh he didn’t have to,” you say in exasperation, “Donella enchanted the damn pots so that the plants can grow without soil. She hated the smell of fertilizer.”

“Donella?”

You blink at Astarion two times and tilt your head to the side.

“Cazador never mentioned his aunt?”

“Does this look like the face of a person who knows about Cazador’s aunt?”

“Put your sass back in your pockets, Mister,” you say with equal amounts of attitude, “Donella Szarr was the first Vampire Lord in Baldur’s Gate. She created Vellioth and well, you know how well that all went.”

“But how do you know Donella?”

“She killed me,” you say bluntly, “she took advantage of my naivety. She thought I was a promising young woman and she was very anti-patriarchy which I did really appreciate. However, she invited me over to tea to discuss a potential job offer at a party of her’s. She didn’t know how to properly create a spawn so when she drained me dry and I never popped back up- she realized she made a terrible mistake.

“Not because she cared about me, but because my parents were relatively prominent in the community.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Hmmm… well I was born in 1,110 then Donella killed me at the beginning of her dynasty in 1,138 sooooooo about,” you think so hard your ears begin to twitch, math was never your strong suit, “354 years ago.”

“Good Gods, you’ve been trapped in this damn place longer than I have. Why in the hells would you come back?”

That is a good question- why did you come back? You suppose it’s because at one point you were attached to this house and it made you uncomfortable to be away from it for longer than eight hours at a time, but that’s dissipated. You didn’t realize your attachment had changed to a person- the vampire spawn asking the question- until he disappeared and you felt like you did the one time you tried to stay away from Szarr Palace. It had weakened you significantly, but now that you’re a cat, that attachment isn’t there and you are free to go about your silly little business.

You also don’t know where else you would go. It’s not like staying in the Rothwell crypt is going to do wonders for your mental health and going back to haunting this palace means you’ll feel uncomfortable again until you are reattached.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” you admit, “so I came back to the only place I know. I think I might piss on Donella’s legacy by making this a community garden to feed the homeless. She’ll be infuriated- rolling over in her urn.”

Astarion snorts, “your idea of revenge is helping the needy? Gods, you’re insufferable.”

“What would you suggest then?” You retort, “I can’t imagine it will be easy finding seeds for anything worth planting. Unless you can hook me up with some sunflo-.”

“What if you traveled with me instead?” Astarion interrupts you.

Oh.

You blink a lot and your jaw has dropped. The happiness spreading through your body makes your paws tingle with excitement.

What an exhilarating concept. However, there must be a catch.

“You just said I was insufferable.”

“Just because I asked you to travel with me doesn’t make that any less true,” Astarion says, “but I’ve rather enjoyed your silent company over the past two centuries, I’m sure I’ll get used to the eccentricities of a ghost cat.”

“It’s quite a generous offer,” you say slowly, “why do you want me to travel with you?”

Astarion looks positively exasperated by your onslaught of questions.

“I would like to remind you that the last time I trusted a vampire- I died!”

“I suppose that’s fair,” he says with a sigh, “for a noble and a bard, you certainly aren’t one for mincing words.

“I was conflicted about ascending. No one was really giving me a reason not to because no one wanted to upset me. You, on the other hand, humbled me,” he says with a shrug, “and the lack of haunting I’ve experienced over the past several months has been absolutely terrible, Darling. I can’t keep a candle going as bright as you do to save my life.”

He says the last part with flourish and embellishment followed by an awkward cough.

You look to the roses and the garden bed then back to Astarion. It’s a much more fun idea- going with Astarion. It would be safer to remain here, but your life was cut so short so long ago. What if you could find a solution to become a person again? What if you could have the life you’ve always wanted?

“Okay.”

“Okay meaning?”

“I accept your invitation to travel with you.”

You are being scooped up from underneath your armpits again and Astarion holds you at arm's length. You flatten your ears and look at him unenthusiastically. Maybe you made a mistake.

“Wonderful! Now let’s get you cleaned up- you are positively disgusting right now.”

“You really know how to make a ghost feel special.”

Astarion wipes off the dirt using water from the fountain and a handkerchief before picking you back up and heading towards the cemetery.

“There’s something I need to do before we go back.”

He sets you down on the ground and you are surprised to see that you have arrived at his own grave. He remarks the grave as a symbol of his new life and you pluck a flower to drop on his grave. Astarion scratches you in between your ears and laughs as you chastise yourself for purring.

As you walk through the cemetary, you see another familiar name.

“That’s my family’s crypt!”

You sprint to the door and Astarion looks around for any clerics of Kelemvor before picking the lock. You bound down the stairs and Astarion is close behind you with a flame for light in his hands.

Your mother and father are there. It’s odd that your mother lived a much shorter life than your father considering she’s an elf. It looks like your father remarried and you have half siblings.

“Is this you?”

You look over to where Astarion is standing and sure enough- a plaque on a tomb reads, “Here lies Althaeastra ‘Birdie’ Rothwell. Beloved daughter, talented violinist, and the kindest soul this world had the privilege of knowing. We love and miss you forever and always. Kythorn 22, 1,110 to Alturiak 8th, 1,138’.

Your father’s tomb reads specifically, “Birdie’s Father” and your mother’s has, “Birdie’s Mother.” You had been their only child and you had been everything to them.

“Yeah,” you say sadly, “that’s me.”

Upon further investigation, you find that your mother had set your childhood home on fire after drinking too much. She died in the fire because she didn’t try to leave the house. Your poor father must have been devastated.

Your siblings are still alive, but you don’t have any desire to get to know them. That ship sailed a long time ago.

“I’m ready to go,” you say as evenly as you can, “I’m starving!”

You bound up the steps before he can say anything and you are grateful for the fresh air that fills your lungs. At least now you know what became of your family while you’ve been trapped in Szarr palace.

The walk back to Elfsong is quiet and the two of you sit by the windowsill and watch the world go by as the Tavern goers cheer and laugh. All of Astarion’s companions are fast asleep and your eyelids are feeling droopy following the chicken Astarion had managed to steal for you.

“So you’re a cat named Birdie?”

“No, I’m a ghost possessing a cat and my name is Birdie,” you say pointedly with a big yawn, “and I only go by Birdie because my first name is a monstrosity my grandmother insisted I have. I began singing before I began talking so my parents called me Birdie.”

“There’s no reason to argue semantics, Darling,” Astarion says with a dismissive wave of his hand, “no reason to get defensive. Truly adorable story though.”

You roll your eyes before laying your head down to fall asleep. You don’t protest when Astarion picks you up and sets you down to sleep on his bed. He scratches behind your ears before he also lays down on the bed with his book in one hand and his other petting you until you fall asleep.

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Additional Note: I didn’t think this concept would be received so well! Thank you so much for everyone’s kind words, like, and reblogs 💜 I am out of town, but I will probably end up posting the next chapter because I’m excited and I love Birdie and Astarion.

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