#girl said friend was low key shading her and basically saying girl should feel bad and inadequate

[falsetochild]

Lately I've been thinking about how tik tok has some odd views on friendship. Lots of people complain about not wanting to burden themselves with anyone else's problems and whatnot (in relation to friends sharing their issues, and asking for help and/or support) and like I get it to an extent sure, but it feels so individualistic, egotistical, self centered even.

To me it's like wanting all the fun of having a friend but without the responsibility of caring for them and their well being in any way other than superficially. Like, the moment someone wants to get real for a minute, needs help and is not all fun and games anymore they're suddenly being disrespectful, they're not caring for your peace and are instantly a bad friend like ?????????????

#and I'm ofc aware most ppls don't think this way and that a lot of this discourse comes from a place of hurt and projection yes #but it doesn't make it any less jarring to me #saw a girl get mad at her friend bc friend was talking about dealing with body image issues #girl said friend was low key shading her and basically saying girl should feel bad and inadequate #??????????????? #the mental gimnastics my guy #im having an old man yells at cloud moment i feel like lol #non sims #dl #ramble

[wintaer-bear]

goldilocks and the three bears of truth

jimin’s in love with you, but like... not that in love with you. or conversely, men that have all the audacity but none of the emotional intelligence!

“No, no, no. Please don’t do that,” Taehyung hushes as he brings his more than big enough hands to your cheeks. You raise your gaze to meet his and his heart hits the floor. He knew you were upset, that much was obvious, what with you throwing the entire contents of the buffet table at him and ruining his Versace tux. He knew you were upset - that was fair. But never did it dawn on him that you were going to cry! It wasn’t fair that you were so pretty when he was trying to break up with you. “Please don’t cry.”

His words mean nothing... all men do is lie and you cry anyway, unmatched foundation leaving tear tracks down your face.

“Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?” You’ve never put on make up before, let alone own a bottle of Fenty, but you were too shy to ask the MUA at Sephora if they had some more opened samples in the back because like hell were you going to pay $35 for the entire bottle. You were desperate that much was true, what with Taehyung springing on prom at the last minute because turns out he was grounded but not like grounded grounded, but you were too smart to be both broke and desperate. You just picked the sample shade one lighter and hoped no one would notice. How were you supposed to know to blend all the way down to the neck? And what was it the mean girls said? Something about flashback?

"Why did you ask me to prom if you didn’t actually want me to come with you? Better yet, why did you ask me to be your girlfriend? You’re mean Taehyung! Just like the rest of your piss for brain friends. Mean!” You’re tearing off your own gas station corsage and slinging it at him. You wish it made you feel better, but it doesn’t. You just wanted him to hurt like you were hurting.

You should have known better. Should have seen it coming. Taehyung was everything your dad told you stay away from. He was head of the art club and missed homeroom too often, but he never got in trouble for it because, we’ll he could smile he way through anything. Your guarded heart included. He literally, got along with everyone, was nice to everyone. You just happened to sit next to him one day.

“__,” he says weakly, picking up the half torn flowers from the pavement. “I... It’s not like that. I didn’t ask -” 

The boy in the shiny sequin dress jacket stops himself because while he knew he was a class A jerk, he wasn’t going to kick someone while they were down. Taehyung wasn’t about to dig himself a deeper grave with the sheriff’s daughter by telling you that he didn’t actually ask you to prom... he had just briefly mentioned that his parents hadn’t grounded for selling the entire contents of their wine cellar when they found out all the proceeds were going towards the  Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. 

“Save it,” you say sniffling and grabbing the what’s left of the corsage from his hands and ripping what feels like your entire heart into pieces, what’s left of it anyway. “I don’t care. Jimin was right. You are a Gemini.”

“I don’t know what that means” he says with vehemence, “but I’ve never been to the gym in my entire life and Jimin’s an asshole so -” 

"He's my best friend." You deadpan and cross you arms around your chest. He could break your heart but you wouldn't give him the power to break your carefully forged friendship with Jimin.

"And obviously in love with you so take everything he says about with me a grain a salt."

“Yeah, and you’re a Black Moon Lilith in Gemini and that alone trumps all your good traits. You’re basically 90% fickle with a dash of cunning, but I didn’t know cunning was just the elongated word of cunt.” You emphasize the last words, mostly because you’re hurt, but also because you’re angry and you’re not sure when you’ll get another chance to tell Kim Taehyung off again. “I mean... do you even like me? You  haven’t even done as much as hold my hand since you’ve asked me out.”

“I just asked you out on Monday!”

“Oh come on, Taehyung,” you drag, angry and finding all the hurtful words in your vocabulary. “It’s not like you’re shy! I’ve seen your tongue down so many girls throats you’d think its the cure to lung cancer.” 

“That’s different,” he winces. “And not fair.”

“Not fair?” You repeat, suddenly realizing this was all going in circles. You’ve liked Taehyung for the better of...like, forever. He was so perfect. Almost. He gets the endings of movies wrong and forgets his car keys too often, but Taehyung had a nice smile and ate all his veggies, was a little weird when it came to public speaking but who isn’t? Taehyung was every girl’s dream and... and avoided you like the plague up until you grew tits your senior year because no one wants to bone the sheriff’s daughter. 

No, you were never invited to keg parties or homecomings. Not even your own best gal pals like to hang out with you in broad day light. You had to learn the status quo on your own so shave an eagle and call it bald, you about had a conniption when Taehyung sat down next to you in AP Bio. 

“I like your hair clips,” he said causally. At this point, you weren't even sure he knew you existed. He sits and sports that grin you’ve been familiar with since grade school. The “I’m not in trouble you are” look. “They match your scrunchie.”

And by the end of the period you wonder how it escalated so quickly. Taehyung turned from being your lab mate to your soulmate in less than 90 minutes and you weren’t even mad about it. He was comfortable, he was warm and it was so easy to smile in front of him.

“Not fair?” You say again. “Mules are doomed to be both the genesis and the doom of their hybrid lineage because they're born sterile. That's unfair. No Taehyung this," you point back and forth between the three feet of air between you two "isn't unfair. This is the result of you doing what you do best and acting on a whim instead of examining if there’s going to be repercussions or if you'll hurt someone along the way. I was fine on my own! I had a plan and if you weren't going to be part of it, the least you could of done was to stay out of my way." You run out of air and you hate it because it gives him exactly one second to come back with a counter argument.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

And you believe him. Because Taehyung wouldn't be dumb enough to ask you to prom on purpose or mean enough to invite you just to overhear him talking about breaking up with you because "you were just too much."

"No one ever means to hurt anyone, Taehyung. Doesn't make the hurt any less," you breathe. You want to hurt him too. Why does he get to walk away unscathed? "Or the perpetrator any less guilty. You're a bad guy Taehyung,” you bite you lower lip to refrain from crying, but it comes out in sobs anyway. “And I hope someone breaks your heart."

You break away and immediately feel the lost of warmth. You didn't realize how close he was to you until he wasn't.

"You okay?" Jimin asks as you slam his passenger door shut. You don’t know how he knew to come get you. You had expected him to be on the other side of town doing God knows what at this hour, but somehow Jimin always knew. 

He leaves the car in park and turns to you when you don't immediately respond.

"I’m fine," you say, going to turn on the radio. He immediately switches it off. 

"Like just bombed your math test but your 6.0 GPA is still salvageable fine or ___ circa second grade with a blister on her hand doing the monkey bars fine?"

"For the the last time I beat you fair and square but I see you’re still eating my dust a decade later with that tone Park."

"Also for the last time. I let you win because you cried when the blister popped on bar three. I practically carried you on my back the rest of the way."

"Did not."

"I still have the scar on forehead where you stepped on me." He pulls back his hair and shoves said forehead in your face. 

"The floor was lava." You shrug.

“Yeah, so is Kim Taehyung, but we’re not ready to talk about that are we?”

It wasn’t a secret that Jimin wasn’t fond of Taehyung. They just ran with different crowds. Always have. Where as Taehyung was president of the art club and volunteering at parks and recreations, Jimin was deciding whether or not to smoke the last ounce of weed he had in his back pocket or to sell it for profit so he could buy a an extra dessert for lunch tomorrow.

“Just as ready as you are to talk about the court summoning I found in hidden in your glove compartment.” 

Jimin sends you a look and if you didn’t know him for the last decade, you’d miss the sliver of shock written on his otherwise impenetrable and cocky face. Jimin gives a low whistle. 

“You could have just said no, but I see I don’t need to worry. 2021 Bitchy ___ is here to put up the walls and save the day. No need for niceties then,” he pins you with a look as he turns the ignition and does that thing boys do where they reverse the car all passively aggressively and hot. “I fucking told you so. I told you Taehyung was out for one thing and one thing only. He’s nothing but a player and -”

“I do not put up walls!” You interrupt and it catches Jimin off guard, he was ready for his Taehyung hating dissertation, to be the best friend you needed and to talk shit about your ex. Jimin was already in the drive thru line to order one of everything off the dollar menu. He was not, however, prepared for whatever the hell this was. 

You’re crying, uncontrollably so, and rubbing your eyes with your palms in his seat. It’s ruining your make up but Jimin has never seen you any more beautiful. He’s never seen you so vulnerable as you hiccup to keep the sadness from escaping your very breath.

“And I’m not bitchy. I’m not sorry I don’t have mommy issues and feel the need to please everyone in her absence. I’m especially not sorry that I’m way too smart to get conned into losing my virginity because I think I’m in love. I’m not. But why can’t I be? Hmm?” And Jimin thinks it’s question for him before you continue.

“Why can’t Taehyung come to me if he’s got a problem with me? If he thought I was,” you air quote, “too much,” end air quote, “then why hang out with me?” You turn you back against the window so you can face Jimin head on, and Jimin wonders why the line is so backed up tonight of all nights. “Why even talk to me in the first place? What? Was I not what he was expecting? Am I too opinionated? Too loud? Too... god, I don’t know? Myself?”

"What?” Jimin says flabbergasted, and takes his yes off the car halted in from of him to make sure he’s hearing this right. Jimin can’t say you were the type run on emotions, but you have also never had a chance to react to such... turbulence. You’ve always been so reserved and in control, a defense mechanism he’s sure you’ve developed over time as the black sheep of the town. He knew you were dumb but he didn’t know you were dumb enough to think it was your fault that Kim Taehyung didn’t like you. 

“Tell me the truth Jimin,” you deadpan. “Am I...,” and you struggle to get out the last part without crying. “Too much?”

“Yes,” he thinks. Completely, utterly, and without a doubt, you were too much. 

You were too good for Taehyung. And too kind. And too pretty. In the winters, you were too warm and your cookies were too soft, your shampoo smelled too clean. You were too good at Catan... and you were...god... too perfect.

Jimin didn’t mean to fall in love with you. Just like he didn’t mean to kiss you the way he is now. Desperately and fervently, like it’s his first time kissing to put someone’s clothes on instead of off. But he doesn’t know how else to stop your thoughts from wandering. He doesn’t know how else to bring you back to the light where you belong. He didn’t want to see you cry. Jimin didn’t like it when you were hurt. But he especially didn’t like that you thought any less of yourself because of a boy.

Jimin takes it upon himself when you don’t immediately pull away and he wishes he would have just taken you home because now his plans were ruined.

There was a plan. Jimin had a plan. 

You were going to go away to college and he was going to get a trade job. You’d come back to visit your dad for the holidays and Jimin would by default pick you up from the airport. He was a patient man. He had it all planned out. The two of you would skip the petty fights that came with individuals growing together and out pacing one another. It was easier that way. The two of you would just meet each other at the end. Jimin wasn’t willing to risk losing you in finding himself in these next few years.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Jimin didn’t want to rush it. He didn’t want to spook you with how much he wanted this, wanted you. Jimin knew. Whether it be ten years from now or several heartbreaks later, Jimin knew he’d accept you any way you came to him. But never in a 100 years he think you’d come like this. Broken and inconsolable in tears. 

“I -” he starts to lie. “I’m high.” 

“Men,” you scoff. “Men have all the audacity but none of the emotional intelligence. Jimin, your court summon is for a urine analysis so you really expect me to believe you’d shoot up and get high right before they’re about to break that beeper on your ankle? Even I know you’re not that desperate for a fix.”

He wishes you were right. You were the hardest drug he’s had and he’s wished he just stay clean because it physically hurt him to see how intangible you are right now. Even in your elaborate scheme to get another man to fall in love with you tonight, Jimin couldn’t help but want you more. You were exactly who you needed to be and he wanted nothing more than to protect that.

“I’ll ask you one more time,” you say with patience you’ve all but scraped up off the floor. “Jimin, do. you. like. me? Like, like like me?”

It wouldn’t be lie if he said no. He doesn’t just like you. Jimin is dumbfoundedly in love with you. He’s so deep in your pussy-sand without actually being in your pants that he wouldn’t know his left from his right.

Jimin debates with himself whether it’s worth the physical distance that awaits him if he denies you or if it’s worth the psychological and emotional damage that will come in confirming your suspicion. You were too good for him, that much was evident, but how was he going to make you believe that?

“___, I-”

“Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?”

“Yeah, I’d like a large order of FACTS please,” you spit out. 

“Sure, a order or fries. What else can I do for you?”

“Maybe a double quarter pounder with a side of truth?”

“I’m sorry, did you say juice?”

You don’t mean to take it out on the employee behind the window. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time when then you realize it’s HER workplace and perhaps you’re making it awkward but you were so hurt, and so confused, and you needed someone to take it out on and Jimin wasn’t helping, what with wallowing in his silence.

“$6.78 at the window.”

Jimin doesn’t know how to fix it. The entire drive back to your house and he can’t come up with the right words to say. He fucked up and he’s so so so scared to lose you. 

#drafts #jimin drafts #bts drafts #park jimin

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.28 (Lizzie and Kate’s Excellent Adventure)

I wish we got to see more of this unexpected friendship

- We find out that Lizzie has the flu and had to miss a day of school. Gordo and Miranda greets Lizzie in her room with a stack full of books for her homework. It’s middle school, not college; That’s too many books.

I feel like I’ve seen this pic everywhere

- Lizzie asks her friends about what she’d miss in Mrs. Stebel’s Social Studies class and they give each other a strange look. Their teacher instructed the class to work in pairs to do a book report on a country and its native dish. Since Lizzie was absent, Gordo and Miranda naturally paired up, leaving Lizzie out of the picture.

- Well, it turns out that Lizzie is paired with her frenemy Kate Sanders, who was also absent from school. And as you can guess, Lizzie did not take to this news too well:

Let it all out girl...just let it all out

We get it; Lizzie and Kate don’t like each other. What’s new?

- The next morning, Lizzie is dreading going back to school since she’s forced to work with Kate and even considers calling in sick for an extra day. Her mom, Jo already knows about the whole Kate Sanders situation because Kate’s mom called in last night. Did Kate’s mom ever appeared on the show? I can’t recall. 

- Anyways, Jo insists that Lizzie should suck it up and deal with Kate being her project partner. On top of that, Matt’s adding fuel to the already raging fire by throwing his two-cents into the discussion. I’m now back to being annoyed with him after somewhat liking him last episode. 

- In school, Lizzie is complaining about the country that was assigned to her, Latvia and how the signature over there is jellied meat, which is called Aspic (after doing a quick Google search). 

- Kate and her crew walk up to Lizzie and Kate establishes some ground rules with Lizzie i.e. spending as little time together as possible, not being seen in public and not making jellied meat. Lizzie accepts her conditions and they also agree to meet at Lizzie’s house after school. 

It all seems like it’s going to work out but Lizzie still needs to let some steam out

Kate and Lizzie Working Together

- That evening after school, Lizzie is on the phone with Miranda, who’s with Gordo to work on their project on Mexico. 

Well, it’s mostly Gordo doing the ground work. Miranda’s more focused on jumping...

- The doorbell of Lizzie’s house rings and it’s probably Kate outside. Lizzie is still mad at Miranda for not covering for her. What does she want for Miranda to do exactly? If Kate’s the only other person absent in class, it makes sense for the two absent students to get paired. And if Lizzie and Miranda pair up, Gordo wouldn’t have anyone but Kate to partner with. 

- Kate’s in the kitchen talking to Jo and they’re awkwardly trying to make small talk. As soon as Lizzie steps into the kitchen, Jo quickly scurries on out of there because it seems like she doesn’t like Kate either lol. 

This stare-down between the two of them is even more awkward

- But things take a turn when they both agree that their friends are lousy for not picking them as their partner for the project. And it’s so cute how they laughed at the same time. As time went on, they seem to be getting along well due to being on the same page when it comes to Latvian food. 

Do y’all see this interaction? It’s so rare; It’s like watching a dog walk on its hind legs (I had to include a Mean Girls reference)

- Even Jo notices them getting along like old times. But as soon as Kate realises this, she quickly excuses herself and they say bye to each other awkwardly. I wish they could go back to being good friends because I don’t like the idea that popular kids can’t be friends with the non-popular kids. I mean, I don’t think they even got to that place after the Lizzie Mcguire Movie. 

A Broken Friendship

- The next morning, Miranda and Gordo ask Lizzie how things went with Kate to which she tells them it was alright. Not only that, she tells them that she and Kate are going to work together after school at the Digital Bean even though one of Kate’s earlier demands is that they are not to be seen in public together.

- At the Digital Bean, Lizzie and Kate are researching on what their dish should be and they decide to make Alexandertorte, which is a pastry dessert that has raspberry jam inside. 

Nice contrast

- Gordo and Miranda followed by Claire and her other crew members then stop by to throw shade at Kate and Lizzie respectively. But Claire was way worse than Lizzie’s friends; She even bragged about being able to work with Ethan over Kate. 

- They then start prepping in Lizzie’s kitchen to make their torte dish. Things start a little rocky at first but when they start talking about old memories from the time they were best friends, they begin to open up to each other again. Basically, they were talking about Kate’s 9th Birthday party and how Kate really loved a Baby Spice shirt that was given to her by Lizzie and she couldn’t wait to try it on. It’s kinda sad that they used to be that close. 

- All of a sudden, Matt runs into the kitchen with his blindfolds on and bumps into Kate who was carrying an egg carton; This, of course causes the eggs to drop to the ground. But it’s all okay because luckily, it was only a few eggs. 

The Queens of Falling

- This is when it gets kind of juicy; They finally talk about the reason why they’re suddenly not friends anymore. Before this, we were told that it’s because Kate developed really quickly and got a bra, which made her popular. I guess that’s still true but it’s also because she went away to camp and there, she had made new friends, whom might or might not have influenced her to treat her old friends badly. 

I got so many feels from this moment. Like I’ve said before, I just love the way they smile at each other; It’s so endearing. 

Possibilities

Look at them, working together as one and everything

- Next, we see them giving their report on Latvia in front of the class and they did a great job. After completing their presentation, their friends come over to throw unnecessary shade again and basically act as if Lizzie and Kate did not get along fine when they clearly did. 

- I think this is the moment where I really questioned ‘What Would Happen’ if the writers had decided to change the outcome of this episode since Lizzie and Kate went back to hating on each other just to please their friends. I actually envisioned the other alternative to be Lizzie and Kate standing up to their friends and basically letting them know the truth, which is they are actually back to being friends. But that’s not the case with what happened in this episode but still, I think the other possibility I mentioned could be a really powerful moment for this show. 

BUT we did get this moment, which tells the audience that Kate and Lizzie actually like each other deep down inside. It’s just that with the way middle school and its social groups are set up, it doesn’t allow them to publicly be friends. Well, who cares? But unfortunately, that’s just how school is; It’s full of petty drama.

B-Plot: Matt’s Psychic Y’all *Rolls Eyes

- In Matt’s school (we finally see him in school after spending so many episodes away from the place), he and his friend, Oscar are having lunch together and Matt is able to predict that their substitute Math teacher has on big red clown shoes before they even saw her. Matt concludes that he is psychic. And here I go, going back to not caring about Matt’s storyline again lol. 

- They set up a ‘Psychic Readings’ booth in the backyard and Matt gives predictions to three different kids, which seem vague and ludicrous at first but it turns out that all his predictions came true:

The predictions are as follows: Buying an expensive gift, getting a haircut and going on a long trip

- Similar to majority of Matt’s storylines, his one-off interests, which in this case is his psychic ability starts getting out of hand as he now thinks he is able to predict every single event, regardless of how insignificant it may be. Jo doesn’t buy it for one second but his dad sure does as he asks him to predict the next day’s lottery numbers. 

- Matt even predicted that Jo was going to send him to his room and later on, she would try to convince Sam that he’s not psychic. That was actually kind of cool but I guess it’s because he knows his parents very well. 

- Jo is very adamant on proving to both Matt and Sam that Matt isn’t really psychic and administers a test to help with that. And look, Matt answers the question correctly! If Jo is going out of her way to do all of that, I have to think that she low-key thinks that Matt is psychic, no? 

- Anyways, his antics finally end once he randomly realises he cannot read other people’s minds anymore. Oh well, too bad...goodbye.

Overall Thoughts

- This is easily one of my favourite episodes of the entire series. We finally get to see something fresh and new that we’ve never seen before on this show and that is Lizzie and Kate getting along as friends. 

- In Kate’s earliest appearance on this show, she was introduced as the mean, popular girl who was actually Lizzie’s best friend in elementary school up until she became popular. Since then, their old friendship wasn’t really touched upon at all till now. I love how they gave us a deep insight into their past memories as childhood friends and how she, Lizzie and Miranda were really close with one another back then. 

- This episode alone really makes me hope that Ashlie Brillault (the actress who plays Kate) will consider coming back to guest star in the Lizzie Mcguire revival series next year but I highly doubt it since she’s now an attorney. But honestly, I’d be okay if they mention to us that Lizzie and Kate are still friends in adulthood; That would make me pretty satisfied with Kate’s overall story arc. 

#lizzie mcguire #disney #disney channel #disney plus #hilary duff #episode recap #episode review #kate sanders #disney shows #disney series #old disney #ashlie brillault #popular girl #teen comedy #lizzie and kate's excellent adventure

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

Chapter 51 - Elvis, the beard and Schroedinger’s kisses (Part One)

In the previoius chapter: Dina, Angie's best friend, goes to San Diego to meet her and it takes her a few hours with her and Eddie to figure out there's something between them. She tries to make her admit it when they're alone and she almost succeeds. She meets Jerry too and is surprised about how nonchalant Angie is with him despite all the bad things he did to her. At the beach party, Dina has further proof about the attraction between the two when she hears them talking on the shore, while the others left skinny dipping in the ocean. The next morning Angie has to leave to Seattle, Eddie can't believe he wasted that opportunity and didn't do anything although he had two whole days to act out his feelings. He almost kisses Angie as she sleeps but he realizes it's weird and stops. As he takes her to the bus station they have a little verbal fight when Angie jokingly tells him he needs a girlfriend and that his friend Michelle would be perfect. Exasperated by Angie's blindness towards his feelings, Eddie shuts her up with a kiss. In the meantime Angie dreams about Eddie the night before leaving and in her dream Eddie kisses her. When the kiss happens for real at the bus station, Angie loses her mind and hears the infamous "music": Just can't get enough by Depeche Mode. 

***

“I’m in love again, been like this before…” maybe I shouldn’t have put that one on the tape, too blunt. Well… I just shoved my tongue in her mouth, so I’m pretty sure that it’s impossible to be any blunter than that. Just… It’s been hours and I can only assume that the stupid grin that’s plastered on my face ever since I said goodbye to Angie is still there. I look up and see myself in the mirror, humming like a poor fool. I assumed correctly, fuck. I keep on repeating in my mind all the steps of our conversation from the moment she woke up that lead to us kissing and… and stop, that’s all I can do while I throw my things in the suitcase, ready to hit the road and leave this house again, this time with a heavy heart. Yes, because whereas before my house was just some sort of depiction of my frustrations, of my loneliness and everything I hadn’t been able to be and obtain, even though I had always wanted it, now it has an added value: the memories, pleasant moments that I’ve built with the girl I love, the turn of events that has led me to declare my feelings, albeit not with words. There had been many opportunities to do that before: in each other’s arms on the sofa, in front of a bonfire at the beach, on the terrace of Pike Place Market, on top of the Space Needle, on that bench of Balboa Park, even the other night on the dancefloor, and all of those situations were certainly more romantic and appropriate; but, even so, I wouldn’t change anything about those stolen kisses at the bus station. But it must also be said that, had I made a move before, I wouldn’t have to wait a week for the second round. This morning, for a second, I thought about not letting her get on that fuckin’ bus and taking her back here at home, but Angie's got university, work and I’m not going to get between her and all the responsibilities she cares so much about. Besides I didn’t want to look like a sentimental ass. Not yet.

Somebody knocks at the door. I zip my bag, pull it over my shoulder, take one last look around – trying to memorize as much detail as possible – and then go out.

“You’re all set?” Mike flinches a little, maybe taken aback by my quick exit.

“He’s all set” Jeff, by his side, answers for me.

“I can confirm it, I’m ready to go!”

“And he’s happy too” adds the guitarist.

“Yeah” Ament nods.

“Why are you happy?” Stone appears on the stairs.

“Lemme guess: Angie didn’t leave!” McCready ventures a comment.

“She's comeing to Oakland with us!” adds my roommate.

“She follows us for the rest of the tour!”

"God, I hope she doesn't!" Stone gives Mike a nasty look then wickedly smiles at me "Somebody else thinks differently though, right?"

"The fuck are you talking about? What's with Angie?" I try and play dumb but I bet that if I still had my bedroom's mirror in front of me right now I'd see the same fuckin' smile. So I think I'm failing miserably.

"Where is she?"

"I don't really know exactly, at 7 o'clock in the morning I put her on a bus to Seattle, so I guess she's still there. Well technically it was a but to Los Angeles, then from there she had to take another to Seattle. She must already be there by now. On the second bus. I think" honestly I thought she'd call from there already, I mean, I'd have called her as soon as I could, at the first stop. What did I say about the sentimental ass? Angie's more pragmatic, more practiacl, she must have thought it was more logic to call further on during the journey, maybe halfway through. Maybe she thought I was resting before leaving and didn't want to bother me. As if it can be possible to sleep after what happened.

"Uh. She left then?" Jeff asks as if he wasn't that convinced.

"Yeah, sure"

"So why are you happy?" Gossard insists, followed by his friend.

"You should be sad"

"Haha and why? What's with those long faces? She wasn't sent to the scaffold, she's going home and we're seeing her again in one week, even less" I sound pretty convincing as I include the whole band in being sad for Angie's leaving.

"Oh well, yeah, of course..." Mike mumbles.

"And what about you leaving? Leaving San Diego? Your house? Aren't you sad about that?" Jeff goes on with the questioning.

"Sure but-" I barely try to answer but I already know it's gonna be pointless way before Stone interrupts me.

"... but, as they say, home is where the heart is, isn't it?"

"I'm not happy anyway!"

"Ha! I knew that!" Jeff exclaims, all pleased with himself with no apparent reason.

"I'm just pumped up, for the show..."

"Huh. Yes. The show, sure" Mikey's been nodding his head yes for fifteen minutes basically, I think he's been in this comatose state since last night. The only thing that prevents me from being 100% sure it's his giant mirror shades, which creat a barrier between him and the outside world.

"Well, you gotta find motivations, you know. To go on..." Jeff puts his arm around my neck and we walk down the stairs and then through the garden up to the small gate, the other two guys tagging along. "And by the way, three days pass very fast" he adds in a low voice, winking at me.

"Oh we need to go to Craig's first, I need to give him the keys for my landlady. And to tell him bye. I'll be quick" I immediately change the topic of the conversation. I wouldn't really give away this house but I can't really afford two rents.

"Be really quick, Kelly's already waiting for us." Stone calls us to order as we all get into the van "We've just got five hundred miles to go"

**

First ring. Ok. Second ring. Hope's still there. I realize I'm basically holding my breath. Third ring. Well, this isn't over yet, maybe there's some lag time... Fourth ring. Fuck you. I shake my head. Fifth ring. I drop the receiver maybe too hard and let my hand down, which has been covering my other ear as I was trying to isolate myself from the chaos of the Real Rock Club's backstage. Fuck the phone and Jeff's smart answering machine, which picks up after just two rings whenever there are messages to listen to. Why doesn't she call? I openly asked her to do it. Did something happen? Does she regret our kisses? Or maybe she just can't remember the number... I'm such an ass, I should have written it down for her! Is she supposed to know it by heart only because she might like me? I retrieve the change and put it back into the payphone, only this time I dial another number, not mine, trying to beat anxiety to the punch.

"Hello?"

"Hey Meg, hi" thank god she's at home, I've been spending the whole day talking to myself or to our stupid intro message on the answering machine.

"Hi Eddie! What's up? You found me by the bell, I was about to leave to work to Roxy's" that's some good luck.

"All is good, thanks. We're... we're about to get on stage for the soundcheck, in half an hour more or less"

"Cool! Are the other dorks there with you now?"

"Uhm no, it's just me on the phone actually..."

"Oh yeah, I should have known, I can't hear Stone complaining in the background" Meg tries to hide her disappointment with a joke, she'd rather talk to someone else.

"And what about you? How's it going?" I ask her 'cause I don't wanna sound like the shitty guy who just calls her to ask her about her friend.

"Fine, usual stuff. Alright, what can I do for you?" she asks without wasting any time.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I doubt you called just to ask me how I am. What did you want to tell me?"

"I called you also to know how you are"

"Eddie"

"Nothing really, I was just wondering if you had news about Angie..."

"She'll be here in Seattle tomorrow in the afternoon, right?"

"Exactly. It's just... I put her on the bus this morning and I thought that maybe, you know, she called in the meantime"

"She did, actually she called me about half an hour ago"

"Uh"

"She's already in San Francisco, they stopped there for a while. She told me that they're perfectly following the schedule so she would be here by two o'clock tomorrow"

"I see. Well, good for her, right?" come on Eddie, don't take it bad, the most important thing is she's ok, isn't it? Maybe it was a very quick stop and a lot of people had to use the phone. Or maybe she doesn't wanna talk to you, asshole.

"Yep... But are you ok?"

"Sure, why shouldn't I?"

"I don't know, you seem... strange. Did something happen?" strange? More than usual?

"No, nothing! What was supposed to happen?"

"I don't know, you tell me"

"It's just that... We agreed she'd call to update me about her journey home but she didn't, so I was just a little worried, that's all"

"How can she call you if you're out playing?"

"I told her she could leave a message... the machine is in Seattle but I can listen to it from any place, you know?" maybe I should try to be less bitter.

"Well, you know how Angie is, maybe she didn't want to disturb"

"BUT I TOLD HER SHE WASN'T DISTURBING ME AT ALL!" I raise my voice a little too much, Meg stays silent for a long while "Ehm, sorry. Hehe"

"Relax Eddie... Maybe it's that or maybe she didn't have enough change to call both and since I have to go pick her up tomorrow, she had to call me "

"Uhm yeah, it can be..." actually I didn't think about that. I didn't even ask her if she had money enough to call. Non just for me, she might need it in general, in case of emergency! I'm a fucking irresponsible guy who leaves girs at the bus station.

"Or maybe you had a fight?"

"What?!No!"

"Or the opposite?" what's the opposite of fighting?

"Ok ok, if nothing happened you've got nothing to fear. She called me for convenience. She'll call you tomorrow, don't worry"

Nothing happened. Everything happened. A lot of stuff happened. Meg's right though, I must relax. I mean I kissed Angie twelve hours ago and I'm already freaking out. I'm not at the center of the world, it's not like everything necessarily revolves around me: she's travelling, she's tired, she called her roommate for a ride, she'll call me as well as soon as possible.

"I know. It's just... Well the journey is long. I was worried. And I feel kinda respinsible, if I hadn't told her the wrong dates of our tour she'd have taken a comfortable plane and would be at home right now" I try and put it on the road safety and other shit level. I hope she buys it.

"Come on Eddie, don't blame yourself. And by the way, I believe she didn't mind extending her holiday a little longer, you know"

"Oh... ok hehe, I hope so" I loved her extended holiday, it could as well last another week. That wouldn't be enough anyway, to take her to all the places I wanted to show her, the restaurant on the beach in Las Olas, the pool room at the Casbah, all the small pieces of my world I wanted to share with her. I just wished I had more time with her to share, even just hanging out in my car, talking and doing stupid stuff; just like when we were going back home from the night out at the Yates, I pulled out the tape to turn it to side B and Love reign o'er me by the Who started playing on the radio and she started singing at the top of her lungs. And even though she was simply destroying one of my favorite songs ever, I couldn't think about anything but how perfect the word love sounded when she said it. And if I still had doubts, it only took those five minutes of song to clear up any confusion: I love her and keep on falling in love again every time i see her, I talk to her on the phone or every time I'm just waiting to do one of these two things. And each time I look at her or talk to her for a minute I find a hundred new things to love.

"Yes, Eddie, trust me! Sorry, I gotta go now, Roxy'll kill me if I'm late"

"Oh sure, I mean, sorry for bothering you anyway..."

"You didn't bother me, don't worry. I'll tell Angie to call you as soon as she arrives, ok? Or even before if I manage to talk to her in the meantime" by now she must have understood I'm desperate.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome! And good luck for tonight"

"Thanks"

*************************************************************************************************************

"Fuckin' bastards" I curse loudly against the unknown assholes who decided to create a work of abstract art with ketchup, mayo and chewing gum on the seat I've been scrubbing for hours. My colleagues started churning out various techniques to solve the matter and the kitchen split in two groups, those who claimed I needed to use ice to dry out the gum and tear it off and the ones who thought I needed to warm it up to melt it. I'm the one who has to clean it anyway!

I hear the door ring and I'm about to take all my anger out on the next pain in the ass that has just entered, who might not be responsible for this disaster, but is still a dick who can't read the sign hanging on the glass door with CLOSED written on it.

"We're clo-" I look up and see a face that disappeared for a while and looks different now.

"Hey Meg"

"Since when do you have a beard?" it doesn't look bad on him.

"Oh hehe well, I've had it for a while" he smiles and scratches his chin, unusually covered with hair, like half of his face.

"Testing a new look?" I realize just now I'm still on all fours on the seat and immediately stand up.

"The test started casually, I'd say I turned sleaziness into a look"

"You're basically getting old inside that recording studio" I joke as he comes closer and suddenly my knees are shaking.

And now it seems clear to me that I must have a screw loose, there must be something wrong in me. 'Cause I've been crying for days over Mike not getting back with me, for his decision to stay single, the first decision he's ever taken since I first met him, who never knew what he wanted and now that he finally knows, he knows it's not me. And, I mean, I'm here  mourning my dead relationship with my ex, then Matt comes in and it only takes him a couple of moves to turn me into jelly and... what's Mike's surname?

"Actually we're getting old in the rehearsing studio, technically we haven't started recording for the album yet"

"And what are you waiting for?"

"Hehe to polish the demo and clear our minds better"

"Considering what I heard, your minds seem already clear enough to me"

"I can't wait to record with Ben, I think he'll bring a breath of fresh air in the album"

"I agree. So? When will you start recording it? So I can estimate how much time will pass until I see you around again..."

"Soon, in Spring... Anyway, talking about this, I really need to talk to you, Meg"

"About the album?"

"Hehe no, about me disappearing. And other stuff"

"I see. Ok, shoot"

"Uhm no, not here. Maybe when you finish working. Can I drive you home?"

No. NO. No, Meg, you can't. You can't sleep with Matt tonight. If the first time meant fucking up, a second one would be fucking up cubed. You can't fuck him whenever you've got problems with Mike. Mike McCready! That's how he's called.

"Actually I came here by car"

"You got a car? Since when?" he asks sincerely surprised.

"Probably since you got your beard, more or less"

**

It's past midnight, Matt and I are sitting on the hood of my Impala talking about Ballard, Mookie's... ehm, Pearl Jam's tour and about how unbearable the nurse living at the second floor is, continuously passing each other a bottle of crappy red whine.

"Why don't we cut to the chase, Matt?" I tell him at some point, making myself clearer right away "What did you want to tell me?"

"Uh yes. Well... first of all I wanted to, you know, I feel I have to apologize"

"Apologize? For what?" whatever it is, I forgive you anyway.

"For my behaviour, how I treated you after what happened, the way I handled the whole... situation in general"

Code name: Situation.

"I thought we had already sorted it out. The situation" if you talked about something you'd totally want to do again in the next fifteen minutes, would you call it Situation?"

"Not really. I mean, we just pretended it hadn't happened" he shrugs.

"And wasn't it maybe the best thing to do?" I ask my rhetorical question and he'll surely answer No, then jump over me.

"Yes, but..."

What do you mean Yes?!

"... but no" ok, that's better.

"What do you mean?" I pretend not to understand and prepare myself to the next moves of the bearded angel. Of course I can't put out right away, that's obvious, I have to put some moral resistance at the beginning.

"That I was an asshole. I realized I was really cold to you, almost cynical, I don't want you to think that... well, that what we did..."

"That the situation"

"Hehe yeah, that the situation didn't matter to me or something"

"Oh no, Matt, don't worry"

"Ok, it was something reckless and unwise"

"Not wise at all"

"Terribly wrong"

"Sure" well, terribly is a little too much maybe?

"The most stupid mistake we could have done"

"Ok" something tells me we won't have sex tonight.

"But if I did it, it's because I wanted to in that moment and not just for fun, you know. I care about you"

"I know, it's the same for me"

"We made a mistake but I don't regret it, it was a nice thing between us, don't you think?"

"Yeah... really nice" maybe we'll have sex after all.

"I'm sorry I gave you a bad impression, if I treated you bad and avoided you, it's just I didn't know what to do, how to act.

Detatching seemed the best solution and being cold with you was the easiest way"

"It's alright, Matt, really, I understood that"

"And I'm also ready to tell Mike if you want to, I want to take resp-"

"NO! Ehm, I mean, that's not necessary. You know, it's not like he can't wait to talk to me and see me already, if he knew he'd be done with me. There's no need to make a mess for nothing, it won't happen again anyway, right?" ok, will it happen or not? I want answers.

"Oh my god, no, of course!" this answer sucks. Next one, please?

"Exactly, so I think it's better to leave things as they are" can somebody explain the sense of this conversation if it's not to take me to bed?

"I told April though" I feel an explanation coming.

"April?"

"Yeah, you know her, it's a friend of Stone's..."

"Who? The girl who plays the violin?"

"Viola!"

"Well, whatever it is, they look similar anyway. But why did you tell her about us? I had no idea you knew each other, I mean, I didn't know you were familiar with her"

"We weren't that close, then we got to know each other better"

"Are you dating April?"

"No!" ah ok, thank god "We went out together sometimes, you know, we're just at the beginning" thank god my ass.

"I see" beginning of what?

"The beginning of what I don't even know, hehe, anyway, we'll wait and see"

"And why in this beginning did you end up talking about me?"

"Oh well, we were talking about exes and past experiences and I talked about you. Without telling your name, obviously! And as I was telling her about the situation, April helped me understand, she opened my eyes. Thanks to her I realized I was an asshole"

"That's good"

"She told me I should have talked it out with you. And apologize" the girl is clever, for sure, she didn't want her man to have unfinished business with other girls and suggested him a nice peacemaking speech. And a closure speech.

"Wow, well, I only know her by sight but from what you say she seems a cool girl"

"She is" Matt's look is lost far away and I've never felt so out of place in my whole life.

*************************************************************************************************************

SIDE A

Can’t help falling in love (Elvis Presley)

I want to tell you (The Beatles)

You’re all I need to get by (Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell)

When you dance I can really love (Neil Young)

Can’t keep it in (Cat Stevens)

Two hearts (Bruce Springsteen)

SIDE B

I wanna be your boyfriend (Ramones)

You really got me (The Kinks)

Love you more (Buzzcocks)

Here comes my girl (Tom Petty)

Thank you (Led Zeppelin)

Don’t talk (put your head on my shoulder) (The Beach Boys)

I grab the piece of paper where I scribbled down the titles of the songs in Eddie's tape and I'm about to put it away when we're almost arrived. I didn't see the sign saying WELCOME TO SEATTLE, actually I've never seen it, neither the first time I set foot here or the number of times I traveled back and forth from my new town. So I could have missed it but maybe such sign doesn't even exist. I place the paper on the backpack I'm holding on my legs and I observe the creases created by folding and unfolding it everytime I took it and put it back in its case. I read my shaky handwriting due to street holes, too heavy breaking and unexpected words. The first song startled me because Elvis was honestly the last person I was expecting to hear among Eddie's favorites, for no reason in particular, I simply never associated him to Eddie, although since then I've been mentally going through various songs by The King, thinking about how they'd sound if he sang them. I was expecting the Beatles a little more and I guessed he'd have chosen a less known song. On the Motown sound of Marvin and Tammy my jaw literally dropped, and maybe my pen too as I was writing down, because that's one of my favorite songs ever and I wasn't expecting it at all. Neil Young and Springsteen were easier to predict, just like Ramones at the opening of side B, whereas Cat Stevens was another pleasant surprise. On the word got of the song by The Kinks my pen slipped a little because as I was smiling to myself, noticing that in that case Eddie had somehow replied to my tape by selecting a different tune of a band I had chosed too, I absentmindedly started to go through all the previous titles, reading them one by one, as if they formed a single sentence, a message and... Of course not, that's bullshit, it's just casual words. When I head Buzzcocks I thought maybe side B would be the punkest and heaviest part and I wrote the title in tiny letters; then Tom Petty came and I was just wondering when he'd have placed him, followed by Led Zeppeling, who were instead making me wonder why Eddie should thank me. I didn't do anything and maybe that's where all the mess started, 'cause I did nothing but being his friend and being close to him in certain situations and maybe he feels he owes me and maybe that's the reason he did the same. And he mistake this closeness for something else. So there are two possible alternatives: either he planned everything, tape and kisses, or the tape doesn't mean shit, songs are just random songs and he only kissed me because... I don't know, because he felt like doing it. Maybe he was stoned. It's not just acids that make him affectionate. While I was pondering on this, the last song by the Beach Boys, at the right moment, almost as if they could hear me, as if they listened to my inner ranting monologue and were asking me to shut up, just like somebody else shut me up a few hours earlier, without talking. In the corner of my eye I see the outline of the Kingdome dramatically entering my field of vision on the left, briefly taking my mind off useless thoughts. I fold the paper, take the cassette from the front pocket of the backpack and put it back in, then stuff everything in the back once again.

When I get off the bus I can't feel my butt anymore, I stretch out awkwardly and I can't believe I can finally unbend my legs and walk and I don't have to get on that bus anymore. When I cross the road and see Mag waving at me through her car window I'm almost sad: I'd gladly walk all the way back home.

"Then you'll have to tell me how the fuck you survived thirty hours on a fuckin' bus" that's my roommate's salutation as soon as I throw my backpack in the trunk, then close it and crawl on the backseat.

"I don't even know, hi to you too anyway"

"Hi Angie, welcome to my taxi cab, where do you wanna go?" she jokes about me sitting in the back.

"I wanna go home to die, because it was exactly thirty-two hours and I'm even working in the evening"

"Jesus, you hate yourself so much, why didn't you ask Roxy for another day off?" she says as if it was the easiest thing, as if she didn't work there as well and didn't know how things work there.

"Having this couple of days was already some kind of gift, I didn't want to push my luck" I yawn and keel over the backseat ready to sleep.

"YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF SLEEPING NOW?" Meg's imperative voice point blank makes me open my eyes wide right when I was starting to drool on the shirt of Morpheus.

"Why not?"

"Because you gotta tell me!"

"Tell you what?" I produce a scrunchie from out of nowhere and tie my hair.

"What d'you mean what? Everything! How was it in San Diego?"

"Good"

"Good?" she insists completely turning back to look at me.

"Yeah, it was alright. Shouldn't you look at the street?"

"Alright... and then?" she goes on and follows my advice turning back towards the traffic.

"And then nothing, it all went well"

"Hahaha yeah, you really think you can get away with this"

"I think you're so kind and gentle as to postpone this conversation to tomorrow"

"Sure babe, but give me some anticipation, tell me something!"

"Stone and Jeff made a bet with the other guys about wether one of us girls would have gone see them on tour and the losers performed as a Village People tribute band in a terrible 70s disco club" I tell her all in one breath and hope I shocked her enought to prevent her from asking any more questions.

"Did you dream all of this on the bus or here in the car, in the ten seconds you had your eyes closed?"

"Haha none of those, it really happened"

"Tell me you're kidding or tell me you have photographic evidence of this thing" she turns around again intermittently, trying to figure out from the look on my face if I'm joking or not.

"I'll tell you the second one"

"OH MY GOD, I GOTTA SEE THEM"

"Look forward, Meg!"

"You'll show them to me when we get home"

"If we get home"

"Ok, I'll behave... And what about the rest?" the Village People shock wasn't hard enough.

"It was great, the show was cool, half of the crowd were Ed's friends" I remain vague, as if I didn't know where she's going with this.

"Did you meet his friends? What are they like?" she doesn't insist, she probably decided to change her strategy and indulge me at the beginning to catch me out in another way.

"They were fun. And almost all surfers"

"Uhm interesting! And what was Eddie like?" I knew that.

"Oh he was good, he's becoming a real frontman, he's not as shy as he used to be"

"Good, great. And what about him, off the stage?" I really knew that.

"What do you mean?" I yawn again and rest my head against the window.

"Yeah, you know, how did it go with him?"

"Good"

"What the fuck does good mean?! Would you please be more specific?"

"Hey, calm down! Good, in the sense he saved my life by hosting me and so on. And he took me around to see places like a tourist, me and Dina who came from L.A.!"

"She made it in the end! Was she staying at Eddie's place too?"

"No, she only came over the day of the show, in the afternoon, then left the same evening. Well, more like in the night. Almost in the morning, really, after the beach party"

"And how did the beach party go?"

"Good"

"Angie, I swear to god..."

"Good, it was a nice party! There was music, drinks, company... at some point everybody went skinny dipping in the fuckin' freezing ocean" I try and come up with anecdotes about other people, maybe it'll work in the long run.

"And did they survive?"

"Barely, but yes. Needless to say I didn't participate"

"You don't say! What about Eddie?"

"He neither, he missed the fun because he felt he had to babysit me" I ruined the fun and let his friends know I'm some kind of amoeba.

"Yeah, I can imagine. Anyway you haven't answered yet..."

"No?"

"No"

"And what was the question?"

"Are you trying to exasperate me?" no, I'm just trying not to tell you shit.

"No! I'm only sleepy, I slept too little and bad"

"How did things go with Eddie? Did something... happen? Finally?" Meg tries to meet my eye in the rearview mirrow and I awkwardly avoid her look.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't know... you spent two days with him... the house was small..."

"So what?"

"Maybe you... slept together?"

"MEG!"

"What?! You already did, didn't you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you we only slept?"

"Oh but I know, I believe you, that's why I talked about just sleeping too"

"And it was an incident anyway"

"No incidents in San Diego"

"No" nothing, apart from the lips-on collision.

"Not even a nap on the couch?"

"No, Meg"

"A little kiss on the beach under the moonlight?"

"No" do I sound convincing enough?

"Cuddling at the park?"

"Nooo"

"A small pat on your ass at the disco?"

"Haha no! At least not from Eddie. Anyway we danced toge-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT FROM EDDIE?"

"That's a weird story. Anyway it's official: Eddie can't dance for shit even when he's sober"

"Ok, but I wanna know whose hand was it!"

"Mike Starr. Now that guy can dance"

"WHAAAAAAT?!"

"We danced just to have a laugh! Anyway he can dance for real, he told me he had taken lessons"

"Oh shit... he took ass-slapping lessons too?"

"It was an incident"

"Your life is punctuated by nice incidents, did you notice that?"

"Definitely less than the unpleasant ones, trust me"

"Anyway, you mean Eddie didn't make any move this time either? I can't believe it, he's a jerk"

"Or maybe he's just not into me, you know? You're obsessed with this"

"I see why you didn't call him"

"What do you mean?" I quickly sit up in an almost normal position. Maybe too quickly.

"Eddie called yesterday to know if I had heard anything from you, he was worried 'cause you had told him you'd call but you didn't. And now I can see why"

"But... shut up! I didn't call him because they had a show, I didn't want to bother him"

Fuck.

"Yet the guy was anxiously waiting for you to leave a message on his answering machine"

Fuck fuck fuck.

"I'll call him back later, before going to work"

"Why not now? After all you only have to tell him you're alive and good"

"Yeah, I'll see..."

"Now, let's go back to Mike Starr's hands, please"

"Meg, just shut up and drive, PLEASE"

**

I know why he called, it's evident: he wants to know if I'm arrived because he wants to call me. He wants to call me to talk about what happened last morning. He wants to talk about last morning to tell me it was a huge mistake and it won't happen again and he hopes this won't ruin our friendship. All things I already know myself so I'll spare him the struggle. The nap was a bad idea because I'm more tired than before, but the shower wakes me up enough for me to quickly get away from our apartment avoiding further questioning by Meg. I get on the car and I'm about to put Eddie's tape I brought with me in the car stereo. But in the end I change my mind, I put it away in the glove box with the other cassettes and turn on the radio.And I try to focus on the road and on Fleetwood Mac starting right then on the radio, but how is it I keep on hearing Depeche Mode and the touch of Eddie's fingertips on my wrists and the taste of his mouth? I'm so concentrated on driving that I'm basically on autopilot and when I find myself in the diner's parking lot I don't even know how I got there. I hold the wheel tight and butt my head lightly against it a couple of times, I don't know why, maybe trying to get Eddie out of my head literally. I guess an axe would work much better, after all it worked with Zeus and Athena. Once I'm at work there's no time to waste, a couple of minutes for my colleagues to welcome me back, a joke by Brian about my Californian mega-tan (cheeks and nosetip vaguely reddish) and I'm already serving people food. I don't mind working, at least I can distract myself and not think about anything else. The problem is I keep thinking all the same. At least until one of my tables is occupied by an old friend and that pain in the ass who sings in his band, maybe the only one who can make me forget about Eddie for five minutes. I mean the pain in the ass, not the old friend of course.

"HEY PURPLE RAIN!" the before mentioned asshole says hi with his usual smirk.

"Did Idaho go out of fashion?"

"Hi Angie"

"Hi Dave, how are you doing?"

"I'm trying to freshen up my repertoire" Kurt answers politely waiting for his turn.

"Alright, thanks. Even though I haven't bought a motorcycle yet. What about you? You look great, I like your hair!"

"Thank you. Anyway, before buying a motorbike you should release an album. And sell some copies"

"To release it we have to record it first, something we haven't started doing yet" strangely enough Kurt says something serious, normal and absolutely non sarcastic to me.

"And what are you waiting for?"

"We'll go to California in a month or so to record it. You already been there, right? Just come back from the land of the sun. By the way, how did it go?" Dave asks calmly, as much as Dave can be.

"What... how do you know I was in California?"

"Right, how do you know?" Cobain asks too, squinting at him.

"Well I came here yesterday and your colleague told me." he explains pointing at Brian, who never minds his own business, then he brings his hands forward as to defend himself "But I swear I'm not stalking you!"

"Also because in that case, I'd never lend myself to such bullshit" the blond guy adds.

"And there won't be any serenades or shit like that, I promise!"

"I told him if it happens again, he's out of the band"

"Uhm... but... to kick him out of the band he must be in the band... Have you heard Dave? It's official: YOU'RE IN THE BAND!"

"OH MY GOD! YEEEEAAAAH!" Dave high fives me and Kurt looks at us disgusted.

"I think you're in the wrong place, the open mic is at the comedy club on the other side of the road"

"Anyway... I came here 'cause I was looking for you"

"No way, really?" the singer jokes, then goes back reading the menu.

"I have to ask you something and I can assure you it's not what it seems" Dave claims defensively and how is it I've got the feeling it's exactly what it'll seem?

"Ok, shoot"

"Would you go out with me tomorrow night?"

I knew that.

#finally #thank god #pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #eddie vedder fanfiction #eddie vedder #matt cameron #dave grohl #kurt cobain #pearl jam #nirvana #soundgarden #chapters

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Engagement Party

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam + Marvel - Jason Todd/Red Hood, feat. Bruce Wayne/Batman, Tony Stark/Iron Man & Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Rating: G

Original Idea: I can’t help but do fun crossovers!

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) This one may get some form of an expansion or a part 2 later but I don’t know yet. Probably not. But writing this one made me realize that... I have a type. At least when it comes to fictional characters. @welovegroot @batboys-and-other-messes

^^^^^

Ring-ring! Ring-ring! Ring-ring!

I grabbed my phone and glanced at the Caller ID. "Hey Jay, what's up?" I asked, buttoning up my nice coat before heading off to a friend's church---on a Thursday for a presentation.

"An old business pal of Bruce's just got engaged and is having a party to celebrate it. He's invited Bruce and his whole family to go up to New York for the weekend for the party. Obviously, B-man is going to go. And most of my brothers want to as well. And even though I'm still technically legally dead, I'm still part of Bruce's family and he wants me to go."

"And what does this have to do with me? Are you asking if I think you should go?"

"Not exactly. I'm inviting you to come as my date."

"I'm not a Wayne," I pointed out.

"You're dating me. You basically are a Wayne," Jason said.

"I don't have anything to wear to a high-brow party like that."

"What about that evening gown you wore to that party Bruce threw?"

"Is that fancy enough? I thought it was little more low-key," I said.

"No that one's perfect. Just pack it up, along with some shorts and jeans and whatever shirts and other stuff you need, and we'll swing by your place tomorrow morning on the way to New York. Sound good?"

I sighed. "Sure, Jason. I'll be ready."

"Great. See you then."

^^^^^

"Stark," Bruce greeted when the host of the party approached the Wayne Clan---including me on Jason's arm.

"Batsy," Mr. Stark replied.

My eyes widened at Jason. He shrugged. "Dude's a genius. He figured it out," he whispered.

"Tony, let me introduce my family," Bruce said. "This is my eldest son, Dick, and his date Barbara."

"Nice to meet you both," Stark said.

"You as well," Barbara put in.

"Then this is Jason and his girlfriend Tally."

Tony narrowed his eyes at me. "You seem somewhat familiar. Have we met before?"

I shrugged. "I don't think so, sir. I just have one of those faces. I hear that all the time," I said. Jason shook Tony's hand with his free one to get the attention off me.

Tony stared at Jason's hand. "Quite the grip you got there, young man!" he said.

Jason shrugged. "Bit of a gym rat," he explained.

"Well nice to meet you both."

"You too," Jason and I chorused.

"These two are my other sons, Tim and Damian. And then that is my only daughter, Cassie."

"Pleasure to meet you all. Honestly, I had no idea Brucie Wayne had this many kids. I always thought he was a loner."

All of us snickered and turned pointed glances at Bruce. He looked away and pretended not to notice.

"Care to dance, Tally?" Jason asked me to break the awkward silence.

"Absolutely. Let's go."

We headed for the dancefloor.

I gripped Jason's hand, hard. "You didn't tell me the party was going to be hosted by and in honor of Iron Man," I hissed. Jason chuckled.

"Didn't think it was important."

"Not important? That's the guy I wrote my eighth-grade biography project on! I could probably tell you more about him than he could!"

"I thought you wrote your biography project on JK Rowling?" Jason said.

"No that was tenth grade."

"Oh. My bad."

I shrugged. "No big deal. I barely remember the order I did some projects. I just remember those because my dad helped me make a lifeline with the Iron Man one but I did Rowling on my own after my skills with Illustrator and Photoshop improved."

We began to dance. I took a deep breath.

"I am in the wrong crowd. I don't belong here," I muttered.

"Neither do I, sweetheart," Jason replied. "We're both street kids in an upper-class world. We'll never feel right. But we get by and no one gets hurt."

"Jay…" I began.

"Hey, look! It's the Winter Soldier! What do you say? Should I introduce you?"

"You've met him?"

"No. But I'm a Wayne. I may not be comfortable in this crowd but that name has enough influence that I could introduce you to the Queen of England and she'd be gracious about it," Jason said.

"The Queen of England would be gracious about almost everything," I pointed out.

Jason tugged on my elbow. "C'mon Tally! Let's go meet the Winter Soldier!" he said. I followed after him, somewhat reluctantly, until we approached the man. He was the same height as Jason and almost as muscled. He had overlong dark brown hair, some of it pulled back away from his face. His skin was a pale dusty gold shade, but his eyes were as piercing steel blue as Jason's. "Sergeant Barnes," Jason greeted politely. The man turned to us. His left hand had a glove on it to hide the metal arm he sported. "My name is Jason Todd-Wayne. This is my girlfriend Tally."

I gave a little head dip of respect. "How do you do?"

"I'm alright, thanks," James Barnes said. "Call me Bucky, please. None of this 'Sergeant Barnes' business. I haven't been a sergeant in over half a century." He shook Jason's extended hand. "It's nice to meet you both. How do you know Tony?"

"Bruce Wayne is a business pal of his---and is also my adoptive father," Jason explained.

"I see. It's nice to meet you kids."

"You too," I said.

The Winter Soldier moved to leave.

"Sergeant---Bucky. Hold on for a moment," Jason said, letting go of me long enough to catch Bucky's attention. Bucky turned, eyebrows raised expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, look, normally I wouldn't be saying anything like this, but I just wanted to say I understand. When I was fifteen I was killed and then dragged back to life. Became an assassin. I know what it's like to lose everything and then become something else. I, uh…" He leaned closer to Bucky to whisper, "I'm the Red Hood. I understand what you've been through."

Bucky looked between Jason and me, almost surprised that a girl as small and innocent-looking as I am was dating a dangerous, violent assassin. "Thank you, Mr. Wayne. Even though what we've gone through was terrible, it's a comfort to know I'm not alone," he said.

He clapped Jason's shoulder in a friendly way. Jason smiled. "Yes it is," he replied.

Bucky patted Jason's shoulder. "Enjoy the party you two!"

"Thank you!" I called as he left.

Once he disappeared, I looked at Jason. "That was risky, revealing who you are," I pointed out.

Jason shrugged. "Guys like us tend to stick together---watch each other's backs. I think it's safer to tell him who I am than Mr. Perfect Captain America. Reformed assassins, both of us. That kind of person shares a bond no one else can have."

"Stop waxing poetic and dance with me," I complained.

"Of course, my love," Jason said with a playful grin, sweeping me into his arms and onto the dancefloor.

^^^^^

"So, when are those lovebirds tying the knot?" Tony asked Bruce as they watched Bruce's second-eldest son and his girlfriend dance. After the young man set her back on her feet, of course.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know, Tony," he replied. "They've been dating for a while but I'm not sure if they're that serious about their relationship yet or not."

"Well, let them know they have my blessing if they do," Tony said sarcastically. Bruce's lips twitched in what was almost an amused smile.

"I will."

#Engagement Party #Jason Todd #Jason Todd Imagine #Jason Todd FanFiction #Red Hood #Red Hood Imagine #Red Hood FanFiction #DC #DC Imagine #DC FanFiction #BatFam #BatFam Imagine #BatFam FanFiction #featuring #Iron Man #Tony Stark #Bruce Wayne #Batman

[5hfanfiction]

Wicked Games, 1.1 [Camila/Lauren/You]

You’re awakened by someone’s hand smacking you in the eyes. You groan and rub your eyes as you flutter them open, you realize it’s Lauren. Lauren was in your bed, completely and utterly naked. 

You try to remember what exactly happened last night; well…of course, considering the lack of clothing, you two obviously had sex. 

Images flash before your eyes as you recall the night before.

The flashing neon strobe lights illuminated Lauren’s casual grin, shading her sharp features and carving out her obvious excitement. As electronic music filled the club as Lauren maneuvers herself between grinding bodies and groups of laughing men enjoying the music that played through the club. 

She’d been dragged out by Normani and her friends for a girl’s night out. It was Normani’s friends way of indirectly stating that Normani needed some eye candy. Lauren wasn’t interested in finding anyone; instead she spots you across the club and makes her way over to you. Ally had left earlier due to her self-imposed curfew, so you were just hanging out and enjoying the music. Within a matter of minutes, the both of you end up forgetting about the outside world and only focus on each other.

Your hands are on either side of Lauren’s hips firmly as you grab her from behind, closing the between you both. Her eyes almost flutter shut as she tilts her head to the side, as you softly rake your nails against the back of her arms.

“Is this OK?” you ask, as you breathe softly into her ear, your lips ghosting over it.

You aren’t entirely sure if Lauren groans or moans but it’s totally irrelevant because she’s pressing her backside deeply into you and swaying along to the music and long before you know it, there’s friction between you two. 

It’s some deep sensual grinding and sexual chemistry at its peak.

Your hands are more together upon Lauren’s middle as she grinds harder against you now, moving her hips in a slow, sultry, motions. 

There’s a perfect rhythm coming along here; your pelvis is directly aligned with Lauren’s bum.

Her backside slightly raises into the air, brushes and hovers over you. 

Without really thinking it through, you bite the tip of Lauren’s ear and that sends her off the rails.

She emits a deep, passionate, growl and pushes further into you and you’re about to whisper something into her ear until she turns around nimbly to face you.

Her hand caress your cheek smoothly as she presses her full lips against yours. She moans softly into the kiss as she tugs you closer as she whispers against your lips, her speech a bit slurred, she’s obviously a bit tipsy, “I think we-we should head back to my hotel room.“ 

And that’s what the two of you ended up doing. 

You smirk at the thought; who would have thought you and Lauren would hook up so early on?

Lauren rolls over to face you as she stretches her limbs. She giggles once she realizes you’re awake and begins to trace small circles upon your forearm.

"Good morning babe,” she croons as she rubs her nose against yours. “I had fun last night. Although, we were both kind of inebriated.”

You chuckle and nod. She cuddles into your side and you wrap an arm around her waist as you press a soft kiss upon her cheek.

“I didn’t think you were that…aggressive,” she says, giggling into the crook of your neck. 

You raise your eyebrows and roll your eyes playfully, “Well, I guess that’s one of my best qualities, right?”

Lauren nods, agreeing. “Yeah,” her voice lingers as her green irises peer up at you, as if she’s searching for something. She does this for a bit before placing both of her palms on either side of your face, pulling you in for a kiss.

The kiss almost lulls you to sleep. 

Her hot hand slides down to your neck and her fingers brush you like a pianist stroking well-worn keys.

Her tongue prods at your bottom lip and you grant her entrance and she roughly explores your mouth.

Your eyes widen – you thought you were the aggressive one – but here’s Lauren, switching up the roles. The pace is a mix of both fast and slow, laced with a little touch of sweetness that makes you want her even more. 

You let out a soft moan and you can feel Lauren smiling against your lips. You’re about to tighten your grip around her waist until she pushes away your arms and shakes her head.

“No, no. You’re not allowed to touch me,” she whispers over your lips as she pecks your lips. 

“Not yet, at least.”

Your brows furrow in confusion and she climbs atop of you while a devilish grin creeps onto her face.

“You, sly girl,” you whisper as she takes both of your hands and places them on her glorious, full breasts and well-toned stomach. 

You can feel yourself getting more aroused at the sight before you as she guides your hands downward. She grinds her hips in a slow, sensual, manner against you don’t move your eyes off her hips. 

Both your hips move in perfect sync and the passion between you two is so damn hot, you swear you’re about to explode.

She cups either side of your face and crashes your lips against yours and bites your lip as she pushes her hips further into yours. And you swear you haven’t done much with her yet, but you’re already on the verge of seeing stars again. 

Lauren’s eyes flutter shut and you grab her shoulders but she pushes you away and pins your hands down to the bed. She wiggles her brows teasingly, “Stay still, Y/N.”

“Make me,” you retort and Lauren raises a brow, intrigued. She grinds her hips into with more pressure as she begins to kiss your jaw down to the outline of your neck. She’s not afraid to bite your skin roughly here and there and each time she does, you emit a low groan. 

Suddenly, someone’s phone goes off. An alarm, perhaps. 

Lauren groans as she rolls off you to check her phone.

“Well, looks like we’ve got an hour before sound check,” she states, setting her phone on the adjacent nightstand.

“That’s enough time, right?” you ask, raising a brow suggestively. “We have to finish what we started.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be late,” Lauren protests and you don’t buy it. 

Instead, you roughly pull her closer to you and brush your lips against her ear. “If I recall, you loved it when I did this last night.”

Lauren stays frozen and flutters her eyes shut. She tilts her neck and you take the opportunity to pepper the newly exposed skin with kisses.

You playfully bite her earlobe, which emits a loud moan from Lauren. “Stop it [Y/N], you’re making me horny.”

“Well…let’s get back to what we started, yeah?”

Her eyes light up as you chuckle, “And you said you wanted to get ready.”

—

Thankfully, the two of you finish in time to shower and get ready for today’s duties. Lauren’s able to scurry off to her rehearsal before anyone suspects anything between you two.

While you’re working the soundboards to make sure everything’s fine, someone sneaks up behind you and snakes their arm around your waist.

“Hey there, stranger,” a raspy voice croons into your ear and immediately, a smirk appears on your face.

You turn around, to only to see Camila, who’s possibly under the influence. Or maybe she’s joking? Who knows.

She’s an enigma.

You push her away as your eyebrows furrow, “Camila, what do you want?”

Camila comes closer to you again as she snakes an arm around your neck as her lips ghost your ear, “I know you like the bland girls. Or rather, basic girls.”

You’re even more confused until Camila gestures to the stage, you turn around and see Lauren.

“I could hear you guys fucking from my hotel room. First off, rude. Secondly, I didn’t think you’d go for her.”

You chuckle; was Camila jealous?

“Are you upset or something? I mean…she was giving me all the signals,” you say and turn back to work on the soundboards and lighting.

“True, but she’s got a mess of her own. Bad choice, if you ask me,” Camila states, pushing away some hair from her face. “Could have done better.”

“Well… I already fucked her and your input is quite unimportant.”

Camila scoffs as she saunters away, not before yelling, “Do not spread any STI’s around here with your basic ass bitch!”

You’re about to respond until Lauren walks over to you, perplexed about what happened.

“What was that about?”

“Camila and I were bonding. You know I think we’re going to be great friends.”

Lauren laughs at this as she pulls you in for a hug. She wraps her arms around your waist and inhale her familiar lavender scent. 

“Are you busy tonight?”

You shake your head. “No, what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. I was thinking I could see more of you. I enjoy your company.”

“Hm…with or without clothes on?” you tease and Lauren smacks your shoulder playfully.

“With clothes on, idiot! I want to get know you more,” Lauren breaks away from the embrace as her green orbs bore into your own hues. “I think you’re pretty great.”

You nod as you wrap an arm around her middle, “I think you’re pretty great, too.” And with that, you kiss her lips ever so gently. You can feel her lips curving into a grin as you’re kissing her.

She breaks the kiss, in which you whine. She chuckles and presses a finger against your lips as she whispers, “You’ll get to kiss me more later. See you around 8:30, then?”

Your eyes immediately light up as Lauren giggles as she waves goodbye and you go back to work on the soundboard. 

—

After working on the set lighting and such, you go back to your own hotel room and get ready for your meet up with Lauren.

You throw on a simple gray button up, some indigo jeans and cream minimal sneakers…nothing too fancy. 

You grab your bomber jacket on the way out the door and head towards Lauren’s room.

As you get on the elevator, you see Normani. She waves at you and gives you a wide, warm, grin.

“[Y/N]! How are you?” She asks quite excitedly.

“I’m doing well, how about you?" 

"Pretty good. Where are you off to?”

You smile as you tell her, “Lauren’s room. We’re supposed to be hanging out.”

Normani’s grin dissipates as she says flatly, “Oh.”

You pick up on the uneasiness immediately. “Is there something wrong?”

Normani nods, “Yeah, [Y/N], you shouldn’t get so wrapped with Lauren. She's—”

The elevator opens and two other people get on. It’s also your turn to get off.

You turn to Normani and quirk a brow, “We’ll talk about whatever it is, later, alright?”

Normani tries to stop you but unfortunately, the elevator closes and you’re off to meet Lauren.

You find her room and knock on the door, in which Lauren yells, “Coming!”

She opens the door and she looks like she’s barely getting ready.

“[Y/N], you’re here already?”

You nod, “Yeah, I thought you said 8:30?”

Lauren’s brows furrow, “Could’ve sworn I said nine. But whatever, come in.”

She expands the door so you can enter again and step inside and sit on the couch while Lauren follows suit.

“You look cute,” Lauren says, pressing her lips against your cheek. “You smell good too. You’re trying to impress me, huh?”

You roll your eyes playfully, “I’m pretty sure I’ve done more than impress you, Lauren.”

Lauren giggles and presses her lips against yours. There’s that sweetness you’ve started to like and you instinctively wrap your arms around her middle as she throws her own arms around your neck.

The kiss soon intensifies and you pull away to stop, because well, this wasn’t a part of the plan. According to Lauren, the two of you were supposed to get to know each better. With clothes on. 

With the way things were going, it seemed like it would lead to another night of clothes off. 

“Mhm, Lauren, we should stop,” you tell her but she’s too preoccupied on biting and sucking the flesh at your neck.

You bite your lip, trying to stifle a moan but Lauren keeps going; she’s relentless, “I can’t resist you. You should know this by now, [Y/N].”

You giggle and are about to protest but she climbs onto your lap while you trail your hands up her back and then cast them downward, only to rest on Lauren’s hip.

Lauren guides them down to her bum, in which you titter and grab her bum playfully, which elicits a soft moan from her.

She pushes you onto the couch and discards her t-shirt onto the floor and works her way down from your neck, to your collarbone and chest.

So much for going out on a proper date. 

Hello everyone! It’s being so long since I’ve updated this fic. Anyway, how did you guys like the chapter? I’m sure everyone’s team Lauren but…Lauren may or may not have some baggage of her own…

I apologize if there are any errors and such.

Have a good morning/afternoon/evening! Send me feedback! I appreciate all the messages and such.

Naasac (my wattpad, tumblr.)

#UPDATE #series #AU #/you #angst drama #humour #romance fluff #submission #Wicked Games

[archivesdiveronarpg]

Congratulations, NELLY! You’ve been accepted for the role of HIPPOLYTA. Nelly, you have no idea how ecstatic I am that someone has finally swept up Hippolyta. She's a warrior in her own right, fighting whatever battle Fate throws her into. You captured her voice that could charm the likes of the Devil himself. In your plots you showed no fear, knowing exactly where you wanted her to go and what path she should take. That's where you won my heart. Thank you so much for taking Halcyon -- I can't wait to see her on the dash! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours. 

                                                                                 WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Alias | Nelly Age | 21 Preferred Pronouns | female Activity Level | The days I work, I’ll likely be inactive because I work grave so (2 - 11 am) and sleep most of the day. But the good news is I work like 3 days a week lol so the other days I’ll be on all day. Timezone | EST Current/Past RP Accounts | Optional. Feel free to give us any current or past roleplay accounts that you think best showcase your writing! In Character Character | Hippolyta / Halcyon Santos What drew you to this character? | I like the idea of this person who had it all, only to fall and instead of lying there she rose with raw passion and determination. I feel like Halcyon has two sides to her. On one hand, she’s this beautiful and kind soul. She’s the type to do anything for a friend and go way beyond what’s expected for a stranger. I wouldn’t say she’s gentle but despite what she’s gone through there’s a pure goodness about her that draws people in. But on the other hand, she’s… Hardened. Like coal turned to a diamond, she was put through fire in the form of the ultimate betrayal (her parents paying off her lover, and her lover accepting it) yet though she came out changed, she was stronger for it. That’s why I don’t think she cried over her husband’s death. I honestly think she smiled when she saw it. Not because she hated him or particularly wanted him dead, but she wanted her freedom. His death was like a weight off and she could finally breathe now that he was gone. And that’s the kind of edge she has now. She is nice but she doesn’t trust easily at all. What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

Eventually, I want Halcyon to be displaced from the Capulets if possible. I feel like she needs to go through one more major fall and rise before she can settle and plateau. If that’s not possible, then I’d like her to fall all the way to the bottom and have to be an emissary, then a soldier, then work her way up again. Where does her determination end? I just want to push her limits and she how far she’ll go to reclaim the glory she once had.

Then I want Halcyon to find love again. But this time, it won’t be as easy as the first (as ironic as it is, her first love happened basically overnight. It was the kind of fast love that can only happen when you’ve never felt love before. Almost like puppy love, it was true but it also wasn’t.) I want this love to be real and sustained and I want Halcyon to give this person hell but they keep fighting because that’s what adults do when they’re in love. It’ll be passionate and ugly and difficult and utterly beautiful. Of course, this love won’t come for a while as she’s completely closed off to the idea of it at the present.

Finally, I want Halcyon to break so completely that she’s just out for vengeance on someone. She enters such a dark time in her life that she forsakes her religion - a staple of her childhood and beyond. She isolates herself and everything she does is a shade of grey morally. Perhaps it makes sense to her but to others it doesn’t seem as great. In Depth The following THREE questions must be answered in-character, and in para form (quotations, actions written out if applicable, etc). There is no minimum or maximum limit for your response - simply answer as you would were you playing the character. What is your favorite place in Verona? “That’s an easy one,” she smiles, all light and ease and grace, “the Phoenix and the Turtle cafe by far. I love open spaces and coffee - it’s my strongest vice.” She speaks as though to have coffee as a vice is something worth an apology. “So to have both and a bit of quiet away from work, it’s all I can ask for in a day.” What does your typical day look like? “Well I wake up and, this is an insider exclusive, I rub my wrists with oil. Every morning. When I was younger I learned about anointing oil and there was something so comforting about taking the presence of God with me through the day so it’s a habit I’ve kept up for a few years.” She speaks in a low voice, her words warm and private. Yet there is no fear of discovery. Speaking to her is like speaking to an old friend that you would hate to betray. She makes you feel included and trusted and safe. “Then I’ll proceed as normal. Brush my teeth, eat, the usual. Some days I’ll meet with Rafaella, other days I won’t. Some days I’ll eat lunch here, other days I won’t. My typical day is a beautiful combination of multiple possibilities. I will never do the same thing twice in a row.” What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? | For once a glint creeps into her smile. A long moment passes before she speaks as if weighing her words to perfection. “I believe that… Old habits are hard to break. Lucius Capulet, to me, was a man much like myself. Someone who rose up again and again and..” She smiles a full smile now, the steel gone completely from her face and replaced by warmth again. “Where there is good, bad will follow. It is the way of life: so it has been and so it will be. This war is inevitable and will last until the end of time.” In-Character Para Sample:

The hollow keys plunked under her fingers, filling the halls with empty notes penned by a dead man. Once again, Halcyon found herself alone on a Friday night. Her husband was gone, the man’s grave still warm in the ground. Her phone was was a skeleton, all metal parts, with no messages to bring it to life. She was utterly alone. Oh how the mighty fall. Once, she would have had more messages than she could answer. Halcyon the Godess. Small town royalty, breezing through life with ruby red lips wrapped tight around a silver spoon. She was blessed, they told her, and blessings were only such if they were shared. And share she did, with any and everyone that entered her presence. Halcyon shared until it felt like she belonged only to the world….

What a beautiful girl - like a little bird.. Halcyon the Songbird. Chirping so sweet. You’re a blessing to us all, little bird. But beware, it is your life’s work to serve others. Never must you forget to cater to those who cater to you. “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” Remember that, Songbird, lest you find yourself with a large head and no room to house it.

Maybe they’d been right… But God - forgive me Father -  how she’d loved it. The stares, the adoration, the love. Everywhere she went, there was love to be found. Even when her mother rapped her on the wrist - how will you ever be anything if you get lazy? again! do it until it’s perfect - it had been love. In all her life, Halcyon had only known love. Perhaps she’d been spoiled. Perhaps she should have known from her parents’ tight lipped smiles that they only wanted love in the eyes of their Father. And perfection, as a reflection of Him, was the only sort of love they’d allow her to receive. But God - forgive me Father - her love had been the closest thing to perfect Halcyon could ever dream of.  

“You’ve never had sex before?” She was laughing that beautiful laugh. The kind that, though Halcyon knew was at her expense, made a laugh bubble in her chest as well. They sat under cherry blossoms. The world was bright, it was gold and pink and blue and red. Spring air ruffled her hair carrying with it hints of Chance Eau Vive. Living water - how appropriate. “Well my parents wouldn’t allow me to date and when they did, they preached chastity and - Quit laughing!”

“How was that?” They lay under silk sheets. The world was theirs. That day and all the days to follow. Theirs was a future of love and passion and fire that moved like water. She burned to look at. She burned to the touch. She burned her whole. Halcyon inhaled her beautiful scent, her cheeks still aflame. “Perfect.”

“There was no time for goodbyes.” She sat on cold concrete. Somehow the truth of it came to her quickly. Her parents were never going to allow this to happen. And in the end they didn’t. The world was a mix of grays, like a factory of bird cages. Everywhere felt like a prison - none more binding than when she said “I do.”

She’d watched the crash. She’d seen his car falling into the lake, heard the shattering of glass and squealing of tires. But it wasn’t so bad in the end; he wasn’t exactly her true love. You couldn’t mistake true love. No, true love had burned her alive, this man only ignited the perpetual embers in her gut. There’d been no passion in their placid relationship. He was nothing more than a boy she let kiss her sometimes… She waited for the tears to come but found it easier to wait for the bell to ring. They should be here any day now, just as she thought they would be.  The notes assaulted the air, her fingers aggressive on the keys. Bach screeched through the empty halls, angry perfection.

Screw them. Screw him. His death was inevitable and she would not cry for such a man as he. He’d treated her like glass. And maybe that’s who she had been. Halcyon the Hollow. Fragile and alone. A body of bones… But she was also fire, raw and fierce. Holding out for the next moment - because there would be others, there always were. Even for dried out little songbirds looking for their notes. For there was no song as pretty as one of redemption.

So maybe right now she wasn’t anything at all…

No.

But soon she would be.

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here!

The Santos’ love was not completely unconditional, as is evident in their bribery of their daughter’s fiancee. They loved her, yes, but they loved her most when she was perfect. When she sang pretty songs and brushed her hair until it shone, when she recited all the Bible verses and went to Church without complaint. They loved her most when she was complicite. When she followed all their orders and demands like a pretty doll, theirs to control and play with, then their love shone. The moment she diverted from the path of perfection laid out to her like the Yellow Brick Road, they made a scheme to return her to it. No matter the money or time, their daughter would be perfect.

Halcyon sings and plays the piano (as evident in the self bio.) She gained practice in her church’s choir. Little Hal shone brighter and longer than all the rest because she spent countless hours practicing. Music is her peace now, one of the few things she doesn’t allow her bitterness to taint.

Halcyon was a virgin until she was 24. That’s when she met her lover and that’s when she finally felt brave enough to break her parents’ chastity vow. She’d always been curious about sex but determined it wasn’t worth her parents’ wrath to explore it until late in her life. Their reaction had been awful the first time she came home with a hickie - it had taken a long time to even get the boy (she’d only dared to date boys first) to kiss her neck. But the reaction had been worth it, she’d gotten what she wanted; even if a week later the boy stopped answering her calls completely.

Her house is sparsely but beautifully decorated. She keeps plants and flowers in every room, to remind herself that there is life where she lives. Hal also has a cute little chow-chow puppy to keep her company, to remind herself what it’s like to be loved unconditionally.

Hal’s main motivation is love. She grew up with it and though she claims coffee is her main vice - and she truly is addicted to coffee - love is the one thing she’d die for.

(submitting from my RP account because… well… if I log out I may never log back in lol I forgot the password. But at any rate, I hope this app is okay. You all have a beautiful group.)

#accepted #accepted: hippolyta