Clark: You can’t keep collecting family from the streets whenever you’re sad, you have to have a limit.
Bruce: Don’t you ever talk about me, my second dad, my wife, my five sons, three daughters, their ecoterrorists aunts, their uncle that tried to kill me while showing me his first rubix cube, their other uncle I got from the sewer, their scientist uncle and aunt, my dog, cow, cat named after my second father, bat colony, or my wife’s five cats that way ever again.
Jason is just joking, he knows, he just wants to insult Dick since he’s such a show off (Dick taught Jason how to do it when Jason is Robin!)
What happened afterwards (by @salparadiselost );
Dick: lol those refrigerator thighs aren’t very flexible, are they Jace?
Jason: shut up Dick. I could do it once and I can do it again.
Dick: ok show me
(15 minutes later Jason has torn a groin muscle and Dick is rolling on the floor laughing. He can’t walk afterwards and could only shuffle a bit here and there. Also got put on comm duty with Babs, he’s good at it, but just with 300% more cursing)
I just remembered that Damian went to hell when he died. So imagine like one day Damian get tired of Jason announcing that he died and stuff like that and that’s when he pulls out a trump card. Something like this-Jason: Did you die tho? Damian: did you go to hell tho??? and he did this in front of everyone at a hero convention. Like the dead silence that would go through. I promise I’m not crazy lololol.
Okokok so I promise this isn’t me dismissing your ask (cause I’ll answer it in just a sec) this just makes me think of some interesting comic history/facts. Specifically why Jason’s death is such a big deal.
So in comics everyone dies, like everyone. Is there a character you like? Well guess what– they’re going to die. But that’s okay, bc 9/10 they’ll come back to life. Don’t know how, don’t know when but they will. This is just a fact of the comic industry, characters die and come back to life. So if this is just a fact, why are some deaths/resurrections so significant? Well some are just hella well written so they become significant, some are so ingrained in the character that they can’t not be significant, some are so brutal that they stick with the audience, and some death arcs manage to defy long held comic books beliefs. In my opinion Jason’s death/revival fits those first three explanations very well. As for the last one, well, it’s not really up for debate, his resurrection went against a long held belief. That being that Jason Todd would be one of the few characters that would stay dead. I know that doesn’t sound super convincing or ground breaking but for a long time there was a saying, “no one stays dead except Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben”. Like that was legitimately a saying. So when he came back to life it was a big deal. This was the Robin who was given a death sentence by the fans, this was the Robin who’s bloody body graced the cover of comics, this was the Robin who Batman could not save. Because of all of this, in an overarching comic history/literary sense, Jason’s death is a big deal. And that’s why Jason’s death is so harped on.
But any who, my nerd out aside, this could go down a couple of ways, but my personal fav would be this:
Jason, dramatically talking about his death to Roy, they’re with other members of the outlaws surrounded by the titans and the Justice League.
Damian: Tt. You are being over dramatic as usual.
Jason, glaring: The fuck does that mean?
Damian: You we’re not the only one to die Todd. And your death was not as horrible as you say.
Jason: I was beaten to a bloody pulp with a crowbar by a psychotic clown then blown up. Then, I woke up in a coffin and had to DIG MY WAY OUT! That’s pretty fucking traumatic.
Damian: At least you were not sentenced to an afterlife in hell, like I was.
Everyone looks away awkwardly.
Jason: No, you’re right, honestly I don’t remember much from when I was dead. What I do remember is waking up in a pool of knock-off baja blast then spending months in hell, training with a demon brat who liked to randomly attack me. And his creepy ass relatives who used me as a pawn to get back at my dad.
Bruce: Did he call me dad?
Jason, blushing: NOT THE POINT!
Damian: Tt. Training with the league is not ‘hell’.
Jason: It is when a rabid toddler is constantly attacking you.
Damian: I did not constantly attack you!
Everyone goes silent. Jason and Damian look around, confused by the silence.
Jason: Why’s everyone so quiet?
Hal: YOU TRAINED WITH BABY SWORD DEMON?!
Damian: What did you just call me?
Diana: Not now child, there are more pressing matters.
Damian still looks offended.
Jason: Like what?
Clark: Like baby pictures, do you have any?
Jason: I- baby pictures?
Diana: Yes little bird. If there are pictures it is very important that we see them right now.
Diana: I must see the small assassin’s chubby baby cheeks.
Ok but I like what if Jason gets like a "how to interact with your employees" type self help book or something while he's running the drug trade in Gotham (cuz he's a good boss damnit) and some of the tips are like "positive reinforcement" and "tell them they did a good job" so the next time one of his lieutenants does something for him he's just like "good boy" (cuz this boy has seen so little positive reinforcement he probably has more experience with dogs tbh) and everybody is fucking floored cuz the Red Hood king of gotham's underground just fucking called someone "good boy" and the lieutenant is hella flustered now cuz it's kinda embarrassing to be called that in front of people and red hood is kinda hot which just makes things worse. Jason sees this and thinks he's just embarrassed cuz he's not used to praise so he starts calling everyone who works for him some variation of "good boy" basically any time they do something well and some people are really into it and those who aren't are not going to be the ones to explain to red hood what he's doing.
Okay, picture this. Damian is tired of being the youngest. He’s not a baby, he didn’t really have what would generally be considered a “childhood,” and he’s tired of being the youngest. The solution? Get his dad to adopt another child. A younger child this time. Preferably a girl. He has too many brothers. He doesn’t think going directly to his dad will be effective, and he doesn’t think Dick, Jason, or Tim will help, for various reasons. That leaves the girls and Duke. Babs is too much the voice of “reason,” so now she too is out.
Cass and Duke both think it’d be fun to have a baby around. Damian did not quite mean a baby when he said younger, but there are some benefits to a baby, namely that he has more time to make sure she understands that he is the best brother.
Steph thinks it’ll put a stop to Bruce trying to officially adopt her.
Jason finds out on accident. -10/10 for their secrecy abilities.
Jason says he doesn’t trust Bruce with a baby. Cass tells Jason he can always come over more and make sure the baby is well taken care of. Jason agrees to this. Cass grins knowingly.
Damian understands her plan. Their dad is uniquely unable to say no to Jason, and has often expressed his desire that Jason will spend more time at the manor. All of this will make his dad more likely to agree to a baby.
Damian finds a baby. He wasn’t even looking, per se, but he finds one just the same. He calls Tim to arrange the paperwork. Tim is too sleep deprived at that moment to question it, and so sends through paperwork he had mostly filled out on Bruce’s behalf for some unknown reason.
Damian calls Cass, and she, Steph, Duke, and Jason pick Damian and the baby up and drive back to the manor.
Jason says it’s a girl as Damian triumphantly presents his new baby sister to his dad.
His dad is speechless, no doubt due to his awe and gratitude.
Dick is the last one to find out.
Tim is made to explain why he had adoption papers half filled out in his office.
[Image: a digital drawing of Jason Todd in his Red Hood outfit, he is crouched down holding his helmet in front of him and looking off to the right with a tense expression. He is a pale man with short dark hair with a patch of white in the front, he wears a red domino mask obscuring his eyes, the drawing is done in mostly shades of gray while the mask, the helmet, the bat symbol on his chest, and the laces on his boots are drawn in red. /end id]