#gotta gaslight myself into liking this

[frobby]

I hate that disabled people need to be diagnosed to ask for accomodation. Accomodation should be available to everyone not just groups that *Need* it because if something makes someones life easier it should be available to them whether or not some doctor says its okay.

#Thinking about this cuz i asked my college professor if she knew a screen reader that worked with pdfs she was assigning #And she told me to call the disability office #But to get help from the disability office i need to be actually diagnosed and i dont want to/cant #So i just gotta struggle #Any autistics know of a free pdf reader that actually works let me know #This isnt even talking about people who are disabled and dont know about it #Idk if this a hot take or not #Happy autism acceptance month #Autism acceptance makes me think someone is giving me an award for autism #Which i accept graciously #I like being autisic but its so hard cuz my support needs arent very high so it feels like im gaslighting myself #I need to stop doing that #actually autistic #autism #disability #Just to add im not against getting diagnosed at all #Its just the theres some very simple accomodations that are unavaliable to people when not diagnosed and i think thats stupid

[aclownsclownery]

You know my usual rule is "If you have to question it, it's probably not a crush" but I'm beginning to wonder if that rule still applies if you have to question it in multiple seperate moments

#its probably not because Im not a huge fan of the idea of kissinf #but anyways the rule is to internalize the interlized iicky feels even harder #i also apply this rule or more specifically a rule very similar to it for gender because I keep trying to gaslight myself #gotta beat back the interalized transphobia with a stick #on another side note the reason those two are bunched together is because I use the label aroace #but every time I like someone (platonically) there is like a 48% chance my brain rolls the random event #the random event is gaslighting myself into thinking I have a crush on someone #queer

[bookwyrminspiration]

heyy quil would you mind boosting this real quick i am just now realising how big a number the amount of submissions we got is (this isn’t me trying to get you to do it btw this is me just using your massive presence in keepblr for my own gain)

No worries! If my presence can be of any help I'm more than happy to lend its use.

Artists! Keepblr artists please consider offering your incredible talent for this poll! There are a lot of stellar fics to be visually represented, so if you have the time and energy to do a piece or a few, it would be greatly appreciated!

Follow the link to see the art form, and all it's asking is who you are and how many pieces you can do (along with any specifics you'd like to do, though it's not guaranteed they can be met). Please only sign up for what you're confident you can complete, as it would suck for you to overwhelm yourself and then some fics are left without and you're stressing over it.

That's all! If you can't do it yourself, please share it so it can find more people who may be able to contribute

#kotlc #quil's queries #gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss #legitimate question: do you have a deadline you'd want these by? #because depending on when then I may sign up for a few myself #the thing is I graduate in a few weeks and have several final projects I gotta prioritize #so depending on when you want them by. i can either do none or several #just would like to know

[firewoodfigs]

#me this fine thursday morning 🤠 #honestly I’ve been really enjoying my new job because I get to specialise in what I want and my boss is a literal angel #like i would do anything for her bcs she is such a kind soul who is constantly looking out for the people under her charge #and she’s so down to earth and easy to work with #BUT. my mom has been throwing all kinds of shade and subtext at me #and I keep telling myself it’s a small thing I’m used to it it shouldn’t grate on my nerves so much #but it does??? and I can’t keep gaslighting myself??? #tldr she lowkey thinks I got ‘let off’ my previous job bcs I was lazy and left a bad impression due to my coming in late #but what about all the 3am nights?????? girl’s gotta sleep???? #also I literally told my previous job ‘give me disputes or nothing’ and they couldn’t give me what I wanted bcs it was a bad time #and just recession vibes #so they offered for me to go to Dubai instead #which my mom just INSISTS was a dumping ground bcs I wasn’t good enough or smt wtf #meanwhile she gets so defensive of my sister who hasn’t worked for nearly 4 years #I tried to tell her FACTS and she literally told me not to accuse my sister and that she’s working part time and I’m like??? she’s not??? #and my sister is being so miserly and insufferably calculative over every penny #while JETTING OFF EVERYWHERE ON BUSINESS CLASS. I JUST. ?!?-&:&/!:!:!:$: #anyway the subtext is just that my mom is concerned her only source of income aka me will be cut off lol #but I was still??? giving her an allowance while travelling??? meanwhile my sister is just asking us to cough up $$ for her share of the #mortgage?????!????!!!!? #what a morning. I’m so mad I could punch a wall lol #Spotify

[justabittraumatized]

I don’t usually consider my childhood “traumatic” (it was but I could magically just ignore it), because I only really got aware of the abuse at age 9, a time where shit also got worse compared to before, i.e that’s the time when the abuse really started to take a toll on my mental health. just realized that I didn’t rly consider myself a child after that age, and even now I consider my childhood just ended at that age and suddenly I became….old. but the fucked up thing is that I was a child, and all those times of severe trauma happened when I was still a fucking child. traumatized ppl tend to divide life into a before and after the trauma. but what if the trauma really always was present? what if you were on fire your entire life?

#it’s time I gotta stop gaslighting myself and accept that the abuse happened way earlier than I would like to remember #toxic parents #mental illness #toxic family #mentally ill bitches be like #child abuse #costs #abusive parents #childhood trauma #actually traumatized

[permanentreverie]

when I'm at work and I have to listen to pop and it's not even the korean kind

#if I have to listen to music for a sushi restaurant or what a man gotta do one (1) more time I may tear my hair out #yes they play butter and dynamite and my universe but PLEASE get mikrokosmos or filter or epiphany up in here #LITERALLY ANY OTHER SONG #they play yet to come which is nice #but ugh I also gaslight myself into thinking I'm hearing a specific song #I'm always convinced I hear 2minus1 playing #like yes it's English but Lindsay you REALLY think they're playing seventeen??? #lindsay speaks

[rainst4r]

Did I just find a commonality between all of the characters I kin and it's trans as hell? Yes, yes I did.

#personal #i was thinking of characterization for my dnd characters and ofc u gotta analyze examples of what makes characters good #and so like looking up more info on my favorite characters and kins to see if they can inspire some dnd concepts #AND IT LIKE HIT ME WHEN I SAW PICTURES ALL AT ONCE #so like my big kins rn are dave strider martin blackwood and kirishima ejiro #and like ofc klaus hargreeves and sanji vinsmoke and greg universe #and.... theyre all characters that have p similar backstories #of like being beaten into something your not but then finding the power within yourself to reclaim your life and power #and now all of them are just like... people #like their pasts dont define them anymore their pasts helped teach them compassion and kindness and empathy #and now they use that to help others #and ooof if that aint my favorite trope holy shit #now that im so far along in my burnout and healing ive been able to understand what happened to me and not gaslight myself #into like thinking it was normal and ok #but now instead of wallowing in it i can reclaim it as my own personal power and it brings me so much joy i feel like a literally diff dude #anyway this is another reason why im a satanist now if u ever wanna hear about it hmu haha #OH SHIT AND ROXY u know i kin roxy lalonde :)))

[daisygumdrops13]

i am so jealous of people it’s actually insane

#okay okay so #there’s this one girl whose going to art school #and i’m jealous of her because of that 😭 #like damn my parents kinda forced me into engineering and pre med #and i’m fine with that kind of but #i like art more :( #i wish i went to art school/chose english or psychology as my major #i would be happier but whatever at least my parents won’t be on my case #but damn #the heart wants what it wants #and it wants to be an artist so bad :( #fucking hell i wish my life was actually mine #cause if it was i’d be happy every fucking second of the dsy #but no i gotta preform for my parents and the invisible audience living in my head #and i mean it’s not like i hate my parents #i just wish they’d understand y’know? #like it’s my life #goddamn #and ik they want what’s best for me #but god what’s best for me is what i want not what you want #i gotta gaslight myself into liking my major before i start university btw #speaking of uni i’m so excited but so terrified at the same time #but that’s a vent for another day lol

[tripably]

The way my own brain tries to sabotage my attempt at obtaining a healthier relationship with food is astonishingly irritating, mostly due to being so unbelievably illogical.

When my body started screaming about being ravenously hungry approximately two hours ago, my brain sent out an immediate, automated, unrepliable response along the lines of "No food necessary. You can't possibly be hungry, you've not even done anything today".

As if I haven't been up for, what, 11 hours, majority of which trying to internalize everything I possibly can regarding my new job, on just two cups of coffee and a small bowl of pasta. As if thinking and learning new things wouldn't require energy.

Or no, in fact, as if the task of having sustained the bodily functions of an actual real life person for the past 30 years including today couldn't possibly require more energy than whatever is in 100 grams of white pasta with trace amounts of feta cheese and olive oil, a couple of cherry tomatoes, and maybe a desilitre of oat milk.

As if I would somehow (how????) need to earn the right to, what, keep sustaining said bodily functions? In the eyes of whom, my own brain? Surely not that brain, the one that is in fact included in those bodily functions that apparently aren't significant enough to deserve to go on uninterrupted??

Like does this brilliant brain of mine seriously believe that starving myself is somehow an option that leads to a good outcome? Have we not seen enough logical proof against that? Have we not read enough articles about the ineffectiveness and dangers of diet culture?

And if reading about it really is not enough: have we not been doing that for the past 15 years with whatever is the the opposite of success? How fucking long do we have to keep repeating the same fucking behaviour before accepting the fact that it is not fucking working??????

#unspecified and undiagnosed eating disorders #unhealthy eating habits #under read more bc i know how triggering this topic can be and because i'm not sure how to tag this #but yeah it only took me half an hour or so to wake up to my very own gaslighting and now i'm waiting for my dinner to cook #i hate having to learn how to eat at 30 years old #against a brain that's hellbent on believing whatever bullshit it's internalized re obesity and health #apparently also against a brain that doesn't necessarily want us to stay alive? which i guess shouldn't feel so much like a surprise #with my history #anyway this is such a fucking boring thing to learn #i could be learning to play an instrument #or a new language #or to improve my literary analysis skills #or literally anything fun and interesting #but no #here i am trying to learn how to keep myself alive as if 30 years shouldn't be enough time to learn that #i guess i should focus on the fact that i did catch these thought processes though #instead of blaming myself for things i struggle with regardless of whether they are my own fault or not #and instead of comparing my struggles to those i see and don't see affecting other people #also it just now dawned on me that i've now spent two hours obsessing over the ways in which i struggle taking care of myself #in no productive way #bye gotta go decide what to do with the rest of my evening

[hvertz]

.

#gotta love that when i experience a positive emotion for once #instead of relishing in it and actually letting myself feel it #i proceed to gaslight myself like #‘damn maybe it wasn’t depression all along maybe you’re just a dramatic bitch’ #and then i sit alone for a few minutes and every negative emotion in the book comes crashing down #and the cycle repeats #and i drive myself insane

[theafrochick]

When the... When the pre-work anxiety merges with the sinus issues.

#bro im so shaky #i hate it #gotta gaslight myself out of the anxiety otherwise i might actually throw up #which hasnt happened before but theres a first for everything #im so tired of being an adult bro #like yeah having money is nice so i can buy things i like but #if i got fired tomorrow i wouldnt be sad #text post

[serostuffsmh]

Oh my gosh! How did you do that?! Are you okay now?!

-🐎

I ate a muffin laced with something. Lmao

#I forget what it was called #the funny thing was #I tried gaslighting myself into thinking I was fine when I clearly wasn’t #I was like ok gotta call 911 while also saying to myself you’re fine you’ve always felt like this

[anauwhere]

Me: mh maybe I was over reacting when I blocked-unfollowed them gotta check them out again cause I'm bored

Satan: *left the chat at the sight of their url*

Me: do u know what? I should trust past me more she's always right

#i gaslight myself a lot bc my emotions are all over the place but i also analyze things very well and a lot and give a lot of chances and #if past me decided to cut ropes i should give her more credit. I'm p open minded I think but tbh if something triggers me or it's too much #it's ok to let go. u dont gotta be v bigoted or v edgy/creepy too if i don't like what u think about squirrels I'm valid in saying bye #this is me talking to myself lol it's just when I'm bored i tend to go down nostalgia lane of people i excluded from my life #doubting myself i do this irl too bc i think it's me hi I'm the problem but no and neither are they we just can't be pals #and btw i was mutual with some very problematic people but i wanted to prove I'm not a Karen but tbh they really would scare satan #u think everyone jokes on here or try to appear edgy bc they're irl losers except something's off the shit they say aren't fictional at all #I'm always beating myself up but i can't accept some of the terrible things they say under their liberal kinky umbrella when u fear they #are pro people hurting others irl if u know who I'm talking about..if the only irony they know is mean and dark it's telling and no #my cup of tea anyways. i always have to remember that even 10k notes on a post aren't a reason to think what i feel ain't valid

[lapiscallout]

I’m gonna post things on here I Swear it’s just the im in college factor taking a toll on me

#lapiscallout @ lapiscallout #it’s not that deep bro #I feel like a good chunk of tumblrs userbase has gone through or is going through the same thing #yOar Not Speshal !! #lapiscallout gaslighting real #gaslighting myself #but yea anyway I had this funny animation idea #but first I gotta catch up with a buncha work from my actual animation class #n all that #yadda yadda enjoy the reblogs tho ! #txt

[thinkingaboutjaedyn]

it wasn't me [t.rodman x reader]

prompt: trinity refuses admit to stealing your clothes

author notes: the word for this mini fic is "steal" obviously. i swear this is the most trinity coded fic i have written for her. i'm knocking out a request for more trin fics and helping myself write more, killing two birds with one stone. hope y'all like it 💞

trinity has a problem. actually the right word would be an addiction. she can't stop herself from stealing your clothes. the mix of your perfume and body wash you use rubs off on your clothes, making her heart all happy so can you really blame her? it was a cute habit except for when you needed to actually wear your clothes and half of your closet was gone. still you never stop her, so trinity happily indulges in her you-based addiction.

the only downside of this is the fact trinity does not like admitting it. even if everyone obviously knows it. this isn't even due to a pride thing, the american player just doesn't like to admit it. in her mind technically your clothes are her clothes so is it really stealing?

"baby! have you seen my mickey mouse pajama pants? it's going to be a little chilly and i wanna wear them," you shout out as you look through the closet in your bedroom. trinity comes into the room when she responds, "nope. haven't seen it, babes." she leans against the door frame, watching you look through your closet.

unlike you, trinity was already dressed. it was around ten am and practice started at twelve pm, so you forced her to get up eight to get ready. she groaned the entire time and demanded kisses after she did every part of her routine. you happily obligated every time.

"ugh.." you let out a groan. just deciding to give up on your idea of being extra comfy in your pajama pants and instead grabbing some black sweatpants. at least it matches your white graphic tee and the grey jacket you planned to wear out. you turn, dropping the sweatpants on your bed before coming over to trinity. "are you sure you haven't seen them?" you mumble into her chest after hugging her. trinity straightens up to hug you back properly. swaying a bit as she rests her face against the top of her head.

"nope. i don't even remember you having a pair of mickey mouse pajama pants. maybe you just made that up"

"wow, am i being gaslight right now?" you joke making her laugh loudly. the hug goes on for a long moment before you pull away. "gotta slip on these pants so we can go. i want to stop by that brunch place you like to get breakfast," you move away from the door and go to stand next to your bed.

"what? the spirit cafeteria breakfast food isn't good enough for you anymore?" trinity leans back against the doorframe. a badly hidden smirk on her lips as she watches you near your bed.

"don't you know? when someone gets famous they have higher standards. it comes with the fame," you put on a fake sad tone when saying the last sentence. trinity snorts, rolling her eyes. "oh god, where has my humble girlfriend gone?" she says.

"she's dead," you shrug before glancing at the clock sitting on one of your nightstands, "alright. get out so i can change."

"i can't watch my own girlfriend?"

"sorry, no. that choice expired after the last time we didn't go anywhere," you give her a fake pout before making a shoing gesture. the american player lets out a long groan before moving away from your room. going off into the kitchen to eat up half of your snacks.

it doesn't take long for you to get fully ready. having to also do your hair and find your training kit which somehow ended up in the guest bedroom. trinity and you leave out of the house at 10:40. with you carrying both of y'all bags since trinity claimed her arms hurt. you throw the bags into the back seat before getting into the driver's seat. trinity was already in the passenger seat before you put the bags away. you get ready to drive off, but is stopped by trinity saying, "wait!"

"what?" you look over at her, a confused expression on your face. the american player just smiles, "i have to go grab something. i forgot."

you just shrug when she gets out of the car. five minutes after going into the house, trinity comes back out. the shock on your face can't even be described as you watch trinity walk out of the house in your mickey mouse pajama pants. the one that she specifically said she didn't even knew you had.

trinity gets into the car just like before. snapping in her seat belt before looking over at you, "alright. let's go! i'm still starvinggg."

you give her a blank stare. thinking that would be enough for her to realize the current irony going on, but nope, trinity just looks away from you. focusing on connecting her playlist to the aux. "you know ashley texted me yesterday and she's actually getting along well in north carolina. i never thought i would hear her say that, weird," trinity's face scrunches up in slight disgust before shrugging.

"baby.."

"what?"

"why do you have on my pajama pants? i was looking for those!" you say as you pull out of the driveway. the american player side eyes you before looking out of the window instead of directly at you.

"i don't know what you're talking about," after saying this trinity tries to change the subject, but you aren't letting up. you keep reminding her of the earlier conversation you two had, but trinity denies that it even happens.

you drop the topic at brunch. enjoying the moments of eating nicely made bacon and pancakes while trinity gossips her head off. you try to bring it back up when y'all get back in the car to drive to practice, but trinity still doesn't let up so you drop it.

practice goes by smoothly with trinity annoying you every five minutes. you two go back to your place afterwards and slow down for the rest of the day. it's around ten pm when you bring the topic back up; and it wasn't even your fault.

trinity is in the shower while you're scrolling on twitter. mostly seeing fan tweets and bad jokes when a post about trinity catches your eye. on the tweet is the photo the washington spirit posted on instagram of trin's pre-practice outfit. she's waving in the photo while walking, with you trailing closely behind her. the tweet says the way the pants don't even reach trin's ankles. we all know who pants those are 😭

you immediately send that to trinity's phone. ready to start up the conversation once again after your thoughts were affirmed by some stranger on twitter; thank you to that fan.

© thinkingaboutjaedyn

#trinity rodman x reader #trinity rodman #uswnt x reader #woso x reader #woso fanfics

[jiggowatts]

↓ ↓ ↓ FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS BELOW, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ↓ ↓ ↓

I have to ramble here cause my brain is absolutely bouncing off the walls and I gotta get my thoughts out, apologies LOL.

It kinda sucks Mike isn’t an Afton. And I know “Mike Schmidt” being his alias was just a fan theory, and that the movie was going to be different than the games - but still. Michael’s story and character as a whole was the driving point of the franchise’s story. His quest for vengeance against William, his tragic backstory and death, the physical and mental trauma he went through - it all tied the story together. Because I am stubborn, I will continue to gaslight myself into thinking movie Mike really is an Afton.

I know I sound like Matpat but just hear me out. I mean, there was that whole scene with Mike and William in his office. William hesitated saying Mike’s full name, and even took a moment to just kind of look at him - it was almost like he knew. Yes, it could just be that William recognized the last name from police reports about Garrett’s kidnapping or whatever. Also, why was William so insistent about getting Mike to work at Freddy’s if he was just some random guy? What was his purpose for that? Not to mention the fact that Mike said his mom died when he was young with no further explanation. Maybe his mom divorced William after the MCI, married someone else and had Garrett - two things which angered William, and he took revenge in the form of kidnapping and killing Garrett and/or Mike’s mom. Why else would William just happen to be in a random park in Nebraska 💀

In conclusion, Scott genuinely could be doing a bit of trolling (as he tends to do) and reveal Mike’s true past in the next movies, or it could be he’s just a Schmidt and nothing more. But I will continue to believe otherwise because I am, in fact, a sucker for the OG lore and its intricacies. Now, they did acknowledge the Abby / Baby connection (Chica trying to stuff her into an animatronic that looked like Baby) AND we do still have two more movies so there’s still a possibility that Mike and Abby are really Aftons!

Also, I am in no way bashing the movie. I genuinely loved it. This is just me simply having fun with theorizing lol.

#fnaf movie #spoilers #five nights at freddy's #Michael Afton #fnaf #rambling #William Afton #fnaf movie spoilers #but that’s just a theory