whatever fits together
gwen stacy x spidergirl!reader
summary: gwen meets your little brother for the first time (・ω・)
warnings: afab!reader, orphan reader, makeout session.
A/N: idk man I just want gwen to wife me up fr.
♡♡♡
ALL YOUR LIFE, you've only ever saw your brother in your future. There were other people, of course. Whatever friends left that you you haven't ghosted or the ones that haven't left you at the time. But the only constant present you've ever considered in the decisions you make for yourself, has always been your brother.
You were orphaned at 14. Technically only your mother had died in the bus accident, but you can barely remember your father's face, he was dead in your mind.
When Miguel scouted you in, you saw how he tiptoed around your story, and how he tried to sympathise with you, but if you were being honest, you can't really remember how you managed to raise your brother on your own for 3 and a half years while also learning to manage your newfound powers. You knew you it was hard, but you also knew that before you joined the Spider Society, every decision you made was for survival, it was your natural instinct.
There were no space in your life for you to sit around and be a child, nor were there any time to consider every emotional and mental consequences your choices could've provoked. You had to grow up. You had a 3 year old to raise then.
Once you've joined Miguel, you thought you'd finally find some sense of peace within yourself, with all the security and stability the spider society provided.
But coming home to an apartment you've been provided after your first mission, all you felt at the sight of your clothes, arranged in an actual closet instead of a duffel bed, and your brother sleeping in a room he could finally call his own, was nothing, except for a terrible and tremendous stab of pain in your chest.
It was all worth it for him, you truly believed that. And yet you felt like it wasn't worth anything to you.
The strangeness of feeling so alone around a place filled with so many people. You didn't know the first thing about making friends, or having hobbies. In fact, you weren't even sure if you knew what you really looked like anymore, with all the crime fighting and changing hotels every week, you didn't really have the time to be looking in the mirror. It was terrifying.
And yet despite all of that, the universe has somehow managed to slip in an angel shaped as a blonde and witty girl in your life. Somehow she was a lot more shittier in starting up conversations than you were, but from the first glance you shared with Gwen, a mutual understanding was formed.
And from there, a bond was made.
You love early mornings, even when you were often alone, the hours spent after the clocked reaches 11pm have always felt loud, and suffocating. Shops are fully opened and streets are filled with people off to work. So every day, like an automatic alarm clock, you'll find yourself waking up around 7 to 8am to fully enjoy that morning glory.
You've seen the sun sparkle everday in your life, but never have you seen it shine this beautifully through your light blue curtains. Looking below it, your eyes meet the sleeping form of Gwen Stacy by your side.
She was snoring lightly, and though it annoyed you at first, it was also a subtle reminder to you that she was there, next to you, as you tossed and turn in your bed trying to get used to the alien feeling of sleeping with someone else besides your smaller sized brother sharing your bed.
Checking the time on your phone, large numbers of 9:15 reflects on your eyes. making you let out a low sigh.
You came home and slept late last night. Arriving to your apartment through a portal past midnight, hand in hand with Gwen as you introduce her to your house, and to your roon.
It was a Saturday, you comforted yourself. And you were in your bed, making out with the most beautiful girl you've seen, what's the rush anyways. The sudden slam opening of your door jolts you up, and enters from there, a very loud and jumpy 7 year old who was expecting the joyous feeling of finally being able to wake up earlier than his older sibling and getting to brag about it.
He halts on his step when he sees the stranger at your side, who is now wide awake thanks to the slammed door.
"God's sake, what did I say about knocking?" You scolded while getting yourself out og bed, toes clencing at the cold tiles when your feet reaches the floor.
"There's someone next to you, can you see her?" He asks, ignoring you.
Gwen's face was dazed and confused, her eyes were squinting and she wasn't showing any signs of getting up. "Yeah I see her." You replied, walking over to him. "That's my buddy, yeah? Be nice to her."
You hear a incoherent mumble from him as he remains staring at her strangely.
"Why don't you help me get the eggs out? You can help me make breakfast?" You suggested, turning him around and kissing the back of his head. "Is she getting breakfast too?" He asks while walking away to the kitchen, his loud voice bouncing off the walls. "Yes, please." You shouted back to him before moving towards your girl again.
"Sorry about that." You spoke with a much hushed tone. Gwen has her upper body up and againts the headboard, eyes fully open as she takes you in under the sun's glow. "No it's fine, I actually forgot you had a brother to be honest." She admits, smiling as you crawl onto the bed towards her. "Really? I thought I must've been talking about him too much that everyone probably has his name memorised." You chuckled. She hummed and shook her head.
You let your fingers intertwine with her laid out ones, closing your fists into hers. "Do you like eggs?" You whisper at her, leaning in closer to her face. "Yeah, I do." She whispers back, booping your nose. "I also like your brother, he's cute." She adds.
A laugh sprouts out of you as your foreheads lay againts eachother's. "Oh no, he's a real fox once you get to know him, next thing I know you two will be teaming up againts me." She snorts and pulls away slightly to properly look at your face. "Also buddy?" She teases, recalling your early words. "I had my tongue down your throat like-" You groaned and shoved her playfully trying to hide your blossoming smile.
"Oh yeah, sure, lets tell him that." You intererject sarcastically. She rolls her eyes and presses a kiss on your cheek before climbing off the bed where you're still on.
She walks over to your desk and then to your vanity, last night's crumpled shirt still on. "You have a vinyl player." She noted, pulling out your vinyls.
"Japanese Breakfast-" She reads, "and Mitski. Of course you like Mitski." You huffed at her words, nearing her. "What's that supposed to mean?" Gwen makes an incomprehensible noise and shrugged her shoulders. "I don’t know, like, you're, emo?" You choked out a laugh, eyes widening at her explanation. "What?" You breathed out, still laughing. Gwen joins in with a giggle as she tries to reason.
"I've never seen you in anything but black, I mean except right now." She gesturesnto your teal shirt. "Also, having a Mitski vinyl is already one of the requirements, I think."
"Anddd, Radiohead? You're a cliche."
You scoffed, pulling her away from your vinyl player towards the door. "You would know." Gwen gasps loudly. "What is that supposed to mean?" You only smile while pushing her to kitchen with your arms around her waist, holding her from behind.
The smell of eggs fill your nostrils when you entered the kitchen, untangling your hands from Gwen, you swore under your breath before sprinting to your brother, cracking eggs on the pan. "I told you to get the eggs out only." Pulling him away from the pan, you tell him to take a seat while you handle the eggs.
"I've seen you do it, I know how to make them myself." He mumbles. "I can hear you." You voice out. "Elephant" He tries again. You gave him a glance, frowning. "I heard that too?" "Good." He responds.
Hearing Gwen chuckling quietly, you spare her a glare too. "Just like I said, already teaming up."
Your brother hops off his seat after a long minute staring at Gwen from the fisheyed view his glass of water gave, Making her eyes look ten times bigger than they are.
"My sister says you're her buddy." He says it like it's a question. Gwen raises a brow at him. "Did she? I don't know, I think we're a little bit more than buddies." You tense, turning around to glare at her again. "Gwen-" you called out in a warning tone.
"You're best buddies?" Your brother's voice speaks before shw could. "Oh my god." You groaned to yourself. Gwen actually laughs at that. "Yeah, something like that." He analyses her answer until he decided it was good enough. "Okay, she's never had any friends before." This time you actually spin around towards them.
"Dude." You chastised him. "I have friends, you've met them!" You defended yourself as he starts to giggle loudly at your offended state. "No you don't." He affirms, making you stick out your tongue at him before placing the plates of breakfast on the table.
"Don't worry little dude, I can tell." Gwen tells him, the both of them giving you a top from bottom look.
"One more word and I'm throwing both of you out." Your brother has the decency to look scared before digging into his meal, but Gwen only grins at you widely before winking. She also notices how much your brother likes to kick people's feet under the table and then immediately blaming someone else when you scold him. "Your buddy did it! My feet can't even reach you!" He yelled. "Yes it can, I can literally feel your tiny toes right now, don't make me kick you back." You threatened, earning another kick before he seriously stops.
Once everyone has finished eating, you went straight to do the dishes, profusely refusing any help from Gwen, enjoying the bits of control in your life you feel whenever you're cleaning up things.
"Can I show Gwen my spidergirl collection?" Your brother begged. You fight againts a grin, saying yes to him.
Despite keeping a very strict no contact rules you had for authoritative figures and the press, your New York has still found a way to capitalize off of you, which was the Spidergirl Dolls that came with many different stylesnof clothing fron the same theme of your suit.
Gwen gives you a smile and a thumbs up before following him, his voice echoing from the hall as he explains the difference of the dolls. "-and this other doll has a samurai sword too-", you shook your head.
How the hell did they even came up with these concepts?
Finishing off the last few dishes, you make your way to the hall, where both of your favourite people are sitting crossed legged on the flower patterned carpet.
"What's up here?" You ask him as you crouch down to sit.
"The sky." He jokes. "Funny." You respond dryly. Gwen gives you a look that says 'I wonder where he gets it from', making you toss a doll at her that she catches easily, smiling.
Gwen turns to your brother, holding up a caped spidergirl doll. "How much are these anyways, where im from, these kind of figurines are expensive." He looka at her dumbly and shrugged. "Figyu-?" She ruffled his hair, "Never mind."
Moving to sit closer to her, you explain the pricing. "If you buy directly from the store, they definitely cost like a $100 or more, unfortunately I don't think even the real spidergirl would've been give a discount." You explain, hinting that your brother has no idea about your secret identity.
Gwen snorted at your last sentence. "Foul, so what, you bought fake ones?" You slapped a hand across your chest, feigning hurt. "No, excuse you, I bought them second hand. You have no idea how many people there are online, giving up good quality figurines for less than $50." Gwen responds with a knowing 'ahh' while nodding her head. "That makes sense."
"Most of these were bought for his birthday, though I think this year he'd like something else, hm?" You question from his side, wiggling your brows.
"I want a Transformers." He answers simply. "A trans what?" Gwen exclaims, confused.
You smiled at her face expression that was similar to a terrified cat, eyes widening in a bewildered manner. "A Transformers." You repeat aloud. "It's a car robot, like its a car that turns into a giant robot." You were describing it horrendously, but it got the job done. "I don't think we have that in my place." Gwen justifies her reaction. "Are you from loser planet?" Your brother asks, receiving stutters from a baffled Gwen and a embarrassingly loud giggle from you.
"I'm from a very normal and cool place alright." You share a look with your brother, side eyeing her. "I saw that." She calls out. "No you didn't!" He yells out all of the sudden before getting up and running to his room.
You flinch at his movements and shouted loudly, "Where are you going?" After a few seconds of loud breathing and feet stomping, he finally responds. "Im showing her our Transformers CDs!"
"Oh." You exhange a look with Gwen. "Looks like you're in for a ride, feeling alright for a movie?" She looks suprised but accepts the offer easily. "Bring in the trans cars."
---
The little boy lasted two hours before passing out. His head on Gwen's lap triggered a slight jealousy in you. Although knowing that he will grow up and eventually meet new people he'd be fond of more than you, it was still jarring to see it play out right in front of your eyes.
You reach your arms out gently to him, "Let me take him to bed." You whisper to Gwen who only responds with an okay.
He's deep into slumber as you carry him into his room and gently place him onto his bed. After fluffing out his pillow, you let go of your palms holding on his head, letting it gently fall onto the soft material.
Gwen's footsteps are quiet behind you, the small sound of the creaking door tells you she's there.
Getting back up on your feet aftet tucking your brother in, you spin around to the curious girl who's eyes are roaming his walls. "Did he draw this?" She giggled, pointing at a drawing you made. "I love him but this literally looks like a deformed Mickey Mouse."
She glaces to you in hope of sharing a laugh but immediately turns quiet when she notices your frown. "That's mine you dipshit." You snapped and walked over to flick her forehead.
"Ouch, sorry." She apologizes in a groan. "It does look like a deform-" you shove her out of the room before closing the door behind you.
"It is not a rat, its a bear." She grins at your pouting face. "Whatever you say."
You thought she'd be opening a portal back to her universe by now. How is her father now worried? Does he not see what's he's been gifted with?
It was visibly dark outside, the clock barely striking 10pm yet. You'd spent the whole night yesterday with eachother, and the whole day too, binging Transformers movies. If it were you in her shoes, with someone else that wasn't her, you would've left much earlier, the tiring efforts of socialising was usually worst than any weekly villain.
She stops walking when she realizes you've halted in your steps behind her. Her head tilts to look at you. "What's wrong? You don't want to sleep?" She asks.
You open your mouth to speak, but nothing leaves your lips. Gwen's face contorts anxiously as she turns around towards you. "What's wrong?" She asks again. You force yourself to talk. "I want to sleep." Silence fills the space between you and her for a solid minute. "So do I." Gwen finally decides to say cautiously.
Your shoulders drops, letting your strained body and features relax. "Yeah, okay. Let's sleep." Gwen is cut off before she coukd even start as you continue where your words left off by intertwining your fingers with hers and leading the way to your bed. She says nothing about your behaviour after, accepting your returning affections. "If you wanted to makeout instead, just say that." She jokes earning a tired chuckle. "After that long ass movie? No, I'm wrecked."
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Hey! Mind if I asked for a darker topic?,
S it okay if I request Gwen Stacy with gnc reader, but like...the suicide/self harm one, just like the rest of the spiders? I haven't seen any, but I liked your writing and wanted to see Gwen's,
It's okay if you don't want to, I understand<3
Have a good time
summary: gwen knew what she was getting into when she dated [name], they always had a issue with self harm and their mental health.. while it was a lot to take on, she was always there.. until.. she wasn’t.
a/n: tysm for the request & enjoying my writing! I’ll try my best to do this right, and if you ever feel like you have no one; just dm me and we can chat and become friends, while this is fictional work feelings like this are very real, if you need anything dm me; they’re open for anyone, of all ages. I am a judgement free blog, and if you ever need me to write something with your comfort character comforting you in particular ( not a reader but YOU) I will not hesitate to write something like that up for you as well, I hope you guys are all okay, drink water and make sure you stay healthy. but once again my reader will always be black, my apologies if someone reading this is not black, but a black reader is the only one I am able to do because I am black.
TW: self-harm, suicide, reader’s death, character death, suicidal thoughts, voices, hallucinations
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GWEN LOVED BEING SPIDER-WOMAN…
it was a tough job, but it meant she could save people, ever since she had lost peter, she wanted nothing more than to save those she loved, those who cared about her.. whether that be gwen stacy or ghost spider.
gwen loved to save her partner the most. she knew she probably shouldn’t have a favorite person to save; but this was someone close to her, someone who understood her, someone she loved and who loved her.
and that person was [name], her partner.. while it could be draining once she got a second to herself, it was harsh and worrisome when she got calls from her partner.. letting her know they wouldn’t be at school for a week or two due to an attempt on their life, and they’d ended up in the mental hospital.
it was scary, learning when they relapsed and they came to her for help. it was a lot, but it wasn’t too much, it was never too much.. because when you love someone.. their problems become yours. their emotions become your own as well if you aren’t too careful.
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a tear slipped down [name]’s cheek, the voices were acting up again. telling them they were not enough for their girlfriend.. whispering in their ears in the late of the night that they might as well kill themselves, the poor teen gripped on their hair, and yanked on it; dry curls from the weeks they went without wearing their bonnet and moisturizing their hair were left behind in their palms.
“ jesus.. I can’t do anything right, I can’t take care of my hair.. I can’t do basic hygiene.. “ [name] began; feeling the tears begin to well up in their eyes once more.
“ yes.. you’re worthless.. you can’t do anything.” the voices spoke in their head, mentions of being ‘ useless’, ‘ a burden’, as well as insults on their appearance being thrown around as well.
it wasn’t until the mention of gwen; is when the tears really started to roll..
“ why is she even still with you?”
“ all you do is burden her.”
“ the world would be better off without you..and she’d even be happier if you just killed yourself.”
[name] tried to fight the urge, -after the brain they hated so much began to overwhelm them with the thoughts of how much.. better gwen’s life would be if they just.. were not in it. - but.. the urge to grab the knife and slice their wrist.. where many scars already lay was strong. the need and desire to hurt themselves to give themselves a peace of mind.. to not burden her.. it was stronger than the small voice of gwen’s in the back of their mind..
“ if anything like this happens again, please call me.”
it rang in their head, the voice of their girlfriend begging them to call her if any suicidal thoughts popped up, if any hallucinations or voices were heard or seen. if anything was bothering them, gwen was always there to lend a helping hand.. but whenever she needed anything.. they were always in the hospital, always there because they had made an attempt on their life.
the voices rang loud, they were overwhelming.. and it felt like they couldn’t even control their body as they hurried to the kitchen from their bedroom, and grabbed the sharpest knife that was available; hurrying to push their sleeve up, dragging the blade across their skin, small slits that were slowly dripping blood, their body shook, eyes closing; they couldn’t keep a steady hand. the knife was pressed against their wrist, and it was dragged across.. hitting a vein.
[name] open their eyes, and was met with a white slit against their dark skin, eyes widening. they knew what that meant.
the blood came next, “ oh shit.” they mumbled; trying to find a cloth, the blood was rushing quickly. the only thing they found was a sponge, pressing it against their arm. hurrying back upstairs to call the first person that came to mind, their girlfriend.
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“ - okay, that doesn’t mean-“ gwen stopped for a moment, she was in the middle of a fight with a villain, “ wait.. hang on.” she sheepishly spoke as she pulled out her phone, picking up the phone “ hey.. honey, I’m kinda.. in the middle of-“
“ gwen.. gwen.. I’m sorry, but I need you right now.. I relapsed and.. I-…I’m bleeding bad, I can’t stop it.” [name]’s voice was full of distress, it was full of cracks and they couldn’t stop crying, gwen could hear the sobs
“ what?!” her voice was loud, worrying dripping from her lips, she turned to face the villain and then looked at her phone. “ sorry.. sorry.” she spoke multiple times, “ what?! fight me spiderwoman!” the villain had yelled, obviously offended from her words. gwen didn’t say much else, but just swung away, using her webs to swing her as quickly as possible to her lover’s house, keeping them on the phone. “ i’m here.. i’m here..” the panic in her voice was obvious as she tried to comfort her sobbing lover, who couldn’t stop apologizing, “ did you call the police?” gwen was just hoping an ambulance would be there when she arrived as well
“ no..i just.. I panicked and called you first.”
‘oh no..no.. no!’ gwen’s thoughts were running crazy, and her vision was starting to get blurry, “ hang on.. ima call you back.. I’m gonna call an ambulance first.” gwen’s voice was soft, and the last ten seconds of the call was her reassuring her partner that they’d be okay, that it was only a few moments they’d be apart before she dialed 911, telling the operator that her partner had cut themselves too deep and needed medical attention. the operator kept her on longer than she originally thought; giving the operator [name]’s address, to send a ambulance, the operator kept asking questions but gwen wasn’t in the right mind to answer them, so she avoided them by hanging up.
when she had finally made it to [name]’s window, her heart dropped, seeing her lover in a pool of their own blood.. shook her to her very core. it was something she would never forget.
“ h-hey…hey!” her eyes were wide, and she couldn’t think straight at that very moment. she quickly pulled the window open and hurried inside, “ [name]!” she quickly pulled her mask off, her blue eyes staring at her lover, gwen rushed to their side, giving them a few quick shakes to see if they were still alive.
they weren’t.
gwen had tried to cup their cheek, the body was still warm but the look in their eyes told gwen all she needed to know, “ oh my god..” she muttered, “ no.. no..” her blue eyes stared into [name]’s. seeing how dull and lifeless they looked, she should’ve been there..
she should’ve been with them, to help them through this.. god why did that stupid villain have to decide to rob that store.. was he even a villain? more or so just a criminal? why was she thinking about this now?
just.. why.
why.
why
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it was at this time that gwen thought about the song IFHY.. by tyler the creator, not because the song related to her, it didn’t. but the line
“ life without you has no goddamn meaning.”
made her think about every second she had spent with her partner, and discovering their dead body was a lot, it hurt. her mind, body, and soul were affected from their death. she took a deep breath as she looked over New York, it didn’t make any sense to her.. why [name] wasn’t next to her. it would’ve made sense if they lived, they would be in the hospital by now, getting treated for their mental health.. but, they were sitting alone. somewhere, their body cold, she’d never get to hold them again, never would get to kiss them again.
she’d never..
unless.
she looked down at the drop to the ground, it’d be enough to kill her right..?
the thought was enough to shock her, she was never one to think about ending her life, these feelings were so heavy, and it hurt.. but.. she missed [name]..
she stood up, standing at the edge of the building
“ hey gwen.. i love you..c’mere”
“ you’re so funny.. c’mere.. I wanna cuddle”
“ gwen.. can you come over?”
“ come on.. give me a kiss..”
every single time.. her lover had wanted her to come closer to them, whether that be for a hug.. a kiss.. or just to be close together.. and sit in silence ran through her head, it was like.. the voice in her head.. of her dead partner was beckoning her to come to them? should she do it?
she missed [name]..
she missed them so much
but the thought of all her friends back at HQ.. her dad..
but the pain was too much for her.. she just wanted it to end.. she already went through enough.
maybe she’d also see her mother again?
her mother.. and [name].. she missed them.
too much..
she missed them too much not to..
she took a deep breath, deciding she’d actually do it..
she closed her eyes, swallowing any anxiety she had..
it was quite ironic to her, every other gwen stacy variant had died by falling to their death after falling in love with spiderman.. and she had tried so hard to never become the next dead gwen stacy. but here she was.. jumping off the building, letting her body fall.. with a smile on her face, tears fell out of her eyes.. a feeling of anxiety in her stomach.. and fear.. but peace as well…
she didn’t even feel herself hit the ground, but anyone who fell victim to the witness of a teenage girl taking her life knew.. she wasn’t alive, she couldn’t be, not after that ten story drop…
she was gone
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