#he gets security job gigs and stuff like that to help provide for you three

[angelanimedesaray]

Different Breeds Chapter 2:  Roadblocks and Detours

AN:  Yeah I got nothing for the notes.  Enjoy the chapter!

Characters:  Jockey!Levi, Horse Owner/Breeder!Reader, Isabel (Briefly/Mentioned), Mr. Forster, Sarah Annaheim, Armin, Trainer!Hange, Jockey!Mikasa, Eren, Jean, MANY HORSES.

Pairing:  Levi x Reader

Warnings:  Language, Financial Problems, Job Instability/Loss

Word Count:  5592

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*Levi’s POV*

The door slammed shut behind him with enough force to make a vibration go through the car as Levi returned to his vehicle, fingers wrapped around the steering wheel in a tight grip as his teeth ground together.

Son of a bitch.  At least this fucker had enough decency to give him the news face to face while the last three or four had done it over the phone.

The past few days, instead of gaining jockey jobs like he normally did, Levi was losing them.  He hadn’t thought much of it with the two calls from potential jobs telling him he didn’t get the job, it happened, and considering his busy schedule, he usually didn’t mind when the occasional job went to someone else.  But then came the call from two jobs he already had and was a few months into telling him they had to let him go, without providing him any real kind of answer as to why.  Some bullshit about budget cuts--though at least one of them he knew was doing renovations to their stables, making them fancier, and they wouldn’t do that without making sure they could afford it first.

Again, bullshit.

Two potential jobs slipping by he could accept, but losing two already secured jobs at the same time without good reason meant something was going on, something he wasn’t privy to.

He opened his phone, scowling when he saw a voicemail from yet another employer.  He started the car while he played the voicemail, slowly operating the car one handed to maneuver out of the driveway and back to the road as he listened to what turned out to be more bad news.

These assholes had let him go in a damn voicemail.

He cursed, throwing the phone into the passenger’s seat with a few more muttered curses, a fist pressed against his lips as his eyes darted around his surroundings, keeping an eye on the road even though his mind was racing with what he should do.

He didn’t have a reason why this was happening yet, not solid evidence for it, anyway, but he had his suspicions, and it made him furious.  He was out three jobs and two potential jobs now.  If this continued, he was in trouble.

And instead of waiting for the bad news to come to him, he needed to start making some calls and visits of his own.  Those that were too busy or too far away to meet in person, he would call.  The rest, this called for personal visits, if he wanted to do this properly.  And if they were going to fire him, they were going to look him in the eyes and give him a damn good reason why, not pitiful excuses over the phone.

Muttering under his breath again, Levi retrieved his phone, scrolling through the contacts without really looking at them to get to his employers group in his phone, and starting at the top of the list and starting to make calls to people who were too far away to visit in person, while he mapped out the route to the next closest employer from the ranch he just left.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you, Levi.  But I promise, we turned Forster down, even after he tried throwing money at as.  We’ve known you long enough we knew the story he was spinning was a lie.  And he tried to buy us off when we didn’t believe it, which just made the truth more obvious.”

As grateful as he was for the honesty and the loyalty, Levi’s teeth were grinding together in anger to hear the confirmation of his suspicion.  He stared out over the training track, watching Loyal Larry--stupid name for a horse, in his opinion--as he was being put through his paces by Isabel, another jockey that the Annaheims worked with and a personal friend of Levi’s.

Apparently Forster’s pride had been stung when Levi quit the other day, and the man’s idea of getting even included going after Levi’s living and trying to freeze him out of any and all jockey positions so he couldn’t continue his way of living.  He was spreading the word to potential hires that he had a bad temper, that he’d gone off the rails, picked fights, and quit when Bird’s Wing went down on the track, couldn’t stand the blemish on his record, and he was more trouble than he was worth.  Those that he couldn’t convince with just words, he was apparently making more monetary arrangements in exchange for not working with Levi.  Maybe not straight up bribes of cash, but arrangements to get bumped up the priority list for a chance to breed with some of their star horses, or time with some of the top staff, or buying and selling of horses--there were more ways to bribe people than just with money.  Besmirching his name to people he didn’t work with yet, trying to convince people he did work with that he was trouble in the long run, citing a bit of the violence in his history as evidence to back his claims, bribing people...it was sickening.

“I appreciate it.  I just wish more people had the same sense you do,” Levi said in a low voice.  He’d already lost more jobs than he wanted to think about because of this.  He had more people firing him than keeping him.  He knew Forster had reach, but this was ridiculous--he hadn’t expected the impact to be this wide.  At least some people he worked for had the sense to say no, but how long before societal pressures made someone else fire him?  Upper class could be ruthless, from what he saw as an outside observer that brushed shoulders with them.

“Well, if you need more work to make up for any losses, I’m sure we can work something out,” Sarah Annaheim said, a hand outstretched to shake on it with Levi.  He accepted the handshake, but his gaze was following Isabel as she led one of the horses back to the trainer who’d been timing the horse’s speed, the two of them discussing the ride out of earshot.

“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to cut into Isabel’s hours.  And so you have a heads up, I’m liable to knock Forster on his ass the next time I see him.”

Sarah chuckled, releasing his hand.  “I doubt it would help, but that would be good to see.  Are you making more of these kinds of visits today?”

“I am.  I need to figure out who Forster’s talked to, and give a warning to those he hasn’t.  And see what jobs I can keep.”

“We’ll be here.  The usual days, usual horses.  If you need more work we can work something out.”

Levi nodded, starting to turn away and giving Isabel a small nod of acknowledgement when they locked eyes before he made his way down the fine gravel path to where he parked the car.

It was going to be a rough few days before he could figure out where exactly this bullshit with Forster was going to end up.  Before he put into action any plan to make up for the jobs he’d lost, he was going to have to figure out where he stood financially.  If the damage was bad enough…

He’d worry about that when he got home.

It was dark outside by the time he got home, the house quiet as he sat alone at the kitchen table.  Spread in front of him was a couple sheets of paper, some with information like bills or income on it, one holding his notes on the math, a calculator glaring a number he did not like at him as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Forster had done far too much damage.  With all the jobs he'd lost, if he tried to make due with what he still had, he wasn't going to be able to maintain his current standard of living.  Things would get tight, and he'd have to start making some cuts.  The payments on the house and the utilities was enough to make him nervous when comparing it to the income he was left with.  He needed to try and get back some of his jobs, or get his foot in the door with people he hadn't contacted yet that Forster might not have sway over.  Of course, some of those options might be out of his league, the cream of the crop that probably wasn't looking for a jockey, but it was worth trying.  It was a long term goal he would have to work towards.  He could at least put out feelers, get his ear to the ground for possible jobs that might be opening up.  And there were a few places that came to mind he might be able to get some kind of work.

He had to make money somehow.

Normally, he raced in the bigger races, the higher stakes, bigger cash prize stuff, not the small leagues, the races where owners tested out horses or tried to make a quick buck.  But looking at where he was at financially thanks to Forster, he wasn't exactly in a position to be picky.  He had to take what he could get and be grateful.  If things eventually blew over, which he hoped they would, he could get some of his big league jobs back and probably drop some of the temporary small time work he was going to have to pick up to make ends meet in the meantime.

Well, unless he grew particularly attached to a job or two, he might keep some of the smaller gigs, then.  Maybe.  First he had to get the jobs before he considered repercussions like that.

And he knew just where to start.

"Hey there...seems like you’re doing okay.  Least your shits easier to deal with this way.”

Levi was currently talking in a quiet voice to Bird’s Wing in the same stables he’d been in the other day, hand gently brushing up the stallion’s neck and across his forehead.  True to her word, Y/N’s people had let him in to see Bird’s Wing when he’d arrived, the blond stable boy from before--Armin, if he remembered correctly--ran off to find and inform Y/N that Levi was here and wanted to talk to her.  While he waited, he was catching up with Bird’s Wing, seeing how he was doing.  So far it looked like more of the same--still suspended in that harness, though the stallion was staying still, looking around rather calmly while Levi spoke softly and petted the horse.  The stallion must be getting used to being suspended in the air by the harness by now, considering how calm he’d been from what Levi observed starting the moment Levi walked inside.

The horse snorted, turning his head slightly to nudge at Levi’s shoulder, coaxing a slight smile out of Levi as he leaned against the horse in turn.  He was glad the stallion got a second chance through Y/N--all of the racehorses deserved better than to be put down because of an owner’s stupidity.

“The surgery went well.  He’s on a good track to recovery, so far.  And it looks like he’s happy to see his riding partner,” came Y/N’s voice from the door to the stall.  Levi leaned back, looking over at her as he started to back away from the horse and move towards the stall door.  “I’m glad you decided to come back and visit, though...Armin said that you wanted to talk about something?”

“Are you still looking for another jockey?” Levi asked, cutting straight to the point.

Y/N blinked, giving him a curious look.  “Not...actively.  We really just need another jockey when the foals are born and grow enough to start getting ready for racing.  Well,” she added after catching the flash of disappointment in Levi’s eyes.  “We could always use some help, though.  We’ve got a horse or two that is going to make a tentative return to racing soon and I’m sure our current jockey would appreciate not having to take on more racing projects, and we could always use some help exercising the rehabilitated horses, or helping with the therapy horse sessions.  There’s work, even if it’s not always in races themselves.  Why, are you trying to apply right now?”

“I found myself with free time in my schedule.  If you don’t have any positions open--”

She held up a hand to stop him before he backed out after hearing she technically didn't, her hand gesturing for him to follow.  He hesitated, but did as she wordlessly asked, following beside her as she started to talk.

"You usually race in the big important stuff, right?  Breeder's Cup, Triple Crown races, important, renowned stuff like that?  Or you at least race for people with a lot of money that are aiming for those races, right?"  Levi nodded, but didn't give her anything else to work with, letting her sell the position she had in mind to him...even though he was going to take it either way cause he needed the money.

"Right now, we don't have any horses in those races or that I plan to put in those races.  Our main goal here is rehabilitation, but…"  she sighed.  "I won't lie, it’s difficult to keep this place afloat.  All the medical expenses, and it's far more common for the horses to be retired from racing after they recover or to return to their owners, than it is for them to be in good enough shape to race again, let alone in races as trying as those--and some of them get too old before they recover to try for, say, the Triple Crown."

"You're not doing a good job of selling me on the job," Levi said bluntly, and she came to a stop in front of the same two pregnant mare stalls she had brought him to before.

"What I'm saying is, in order to make sure this place doesn't slide into irreversible debt and go belly up, I'm aiming to change that.  I'm going to start investing more in races.  And not just your standard round the track Triple Crown races.  Endurance races.  Cross country.  Short distance, long.  Maybe even go international.  There's more than just Thoroughbreds on this farm.  I adopt mustangs when they put the wild horses up for sale when they're trying to control overpopulation--and I've gotten a few young horses that show promise for endurance racing.  I've already told you one of the foals from these two mares is going to be a good racer, it's what brought you in.  Heaven knows I want to get a few Arabian breed horses and get into Arabian horse races.  Some of it is a little ways off, some we just need to train the horses, others we need to get our hands on the horses in the first place.  The work may be small and little league at first, nothing like you've been racing, and you may have to help with training, rehabilitation,  and the therapy horses and the like for a while,, but...there is a future if you come in now.  A lucrative one, maybe, if some of these foals turn out as promising as I think they will.  Maybe we'll even reach the point where you're too busy racing to be helping with the training of new foals or rehabilitation of old ones.  You'll definitely wear multiple rider hats to start, maybe it could broaden your horizons, keep your life interesting and new.  And considering the main heart of the farm, you're not going to have to worry about us doing something like Forster.  We take care of our horses.  And if one's injured, you can bet they'll be taken care of."

Levi appraised her for a moment.  He wasn't much of an endurance or cross country jockey, but he could learn, if that's what it took to make ends meet.  And it would certainly keep things interesting.  Though personally he would prefer to stick with his usual round the field in the dirt ring horse racing if he could.

But again, ends needed to be met.

"What about winnings for races? What percentage would I get?" Levi asked, staring her down.  This could honestly sway his resolve to take the job--if he was going to make shit money, then he couldn't take something that would take so much time.  He had a living to earn.

"Let's see, for races...on average, the jockey gets about ten percent.  We are trying to make enough to pay for a lot of upkeep and expenses...what's the share I'm giving Historia and Mikasa right now…"  she pursed her lips, walking slowly out of the stables and craning her head up towards the sky.  "Twelve for the little leagues.  Big leagues, we'll talk more fifteen...maybe twenty."

Levi's eyebrows rose.  That was actually generous of her.  Sometimes jockeys only made say $50 a race they didn't win--hence why he nearly panicked with all the jobs he was losing thanks to Forster.  With the usual ten percent average, he'd only get a thousand from a ten thousand winning pot.  It would make a difference to make a little more, even by two percent, and big league races, races with bigger pots mean bigger earnings even at a regular ten percent, and she was offering him a bigger cut to go with it?

Thankfully he didn't have to worry about agent or valet fees coming out of his earnings.  Clearly he found jobs himself and didn't use an agent to do that part for him--he liked to feel people out himself, and either he didn't trust anyone else to clean the tack and such besides him, or the owners of the horses he rode already had valet’s assigned to the horse so he didn't have to worry about it.

"What about how often?  This won't be my only job," Levi said smoothly, refusing to give her a revealing reaction about that share of winnings she'd dangled in front of him.  She certainly knew how to give incentive to win in the races.

"Naturally.  Well, I assume you do a lot of racing for other owners, so maybe two days a week?  I'm sure you'll fit us into your race schedule like anyone else on race days, but besides that, weekly, two days would be fine.  Come in the morning, help the horses train and rehabilitate, get their morning exercise in.  We’ll try you with some of the horses that will be racing that need a constant jockey, instead of switching between the two we have.  One of those two days, if you’re alright with it, will be when we have our therapy sessions with the horses.  It’s always helpful to have an extra hand to help out.  It’s about 115 to 300 a session for each person, which you’d get a part of, of course.  Whenever we sell a foal, if you’ve helped in raising it and getting it ready for sale, you’ll get a part of the money we make from selling it.  Basically, if you put in work somewhere, you’ll get money back for it.  If you want to put in more than two days, that’s your choice--it’s your schedule you’ll have to work around, but I’m sure if you show up outside the usual two days, we can find something for you to do.”

It sounded like a good deal--especially with how much he was hurting for work right now.  She had plenty of different ways for him to earn money here, and two days of the week was manageable--not to mention she was willing to work with his schedule to give him more opportunities to earn.  He was probably going to be doing work in the mornings and midday here, from the sounds of it, which meant he could probably do more work elsewhere in the evenings on the same days.

Long story short, he could make this work easily.  It was a good opportunity that could help him make ends meet until doors started opening again and Forster forgot his pettiness over Levi in favor of his spite for someone else. Even then, he could slowly transition from the odd jobs he picked up here to make ends meet, back to his old work as opportunities started coming back in.

“Before you make any decisions, do you want to meet some of the staff and horses you’d be working with?” Y/N asked after a few moments of silence between the two of them.

He supposed that would factor into how much he would want to be here--if he could stomach the others enough to take those extra hours.  With a small nod from Levi, Y/N gave him a slight smile and started leading the way again.

“You don’t talk much, do you?  Doesn’t matter, we’ve got quiet types and...very talkative types here.  You’re either going to be around like minded company who are just as quiet, or around people who are all too happy to do the talking themselves if they have to.”

“Like you?”

Y/N chuckled, guiding him further along to another stable, where he could see more people were moving around inside, a few horses being led out the doors towards one of the open fields by people in riding gear and work clothes.  He saw the boy from earlier, Armin, leading a cream coated horse with one white sock and light brown legs to the pasture as he talked to a young woman in full riding gear with long black hair and grey eyes, both of them giving him curious looks as he and Y/N passed them, heading into the stables.

“That was Mikasa with Armin--she’s one of our jockeys.  I’d introduce you, but it looks like they’re taking Treasure’s Truth out for a bit of exercise--she’s wrapping up her recovery and should be involved in some therapy work soon, so you might work with her a little bit.  The mare, I mean.  Mikasa’s a bit of a keep to herself type, too, so interactions with her would be up to you.”

“Do I see fresh meat, Y/N?!” came a new voice that was far too excited for his taste, a brunette with glasses in clothes that were covered in dirt and hay from the stables bounding up to them with a gleam in her eyes.  “He looks like a jockey--you were talking about hiring another jockey.  Wait, this is the one who you said might come by to visit Bird’s Wing, am I right?”

Levi leaned back from the woman, a little overwhelmed by the raw...energy she was exuding, but Y/N seemed unfazed.  This was probably normal for the woman.  Great.

“Don’t scare him off, Hange, he hasn’t agreed to anything yet,” she said calmly with a hand held out in an obvious ‘calm down’ gesture before she gestured between the two.  “Levi, meet Hange, she’s our current trainer, which means you’ll be seeing a lot of her.  And yes, Hange, we’re currently talking about Levi potentially becoming one of our jockeys and helping around the ranch.”

“I’m sure the kids would love having some extra help.  Speaking of, Eren got kicked by Jean again a few minutes ago, by the way, so he’s in a foul mood.”

“Jean as in the hired hand, or Jean as in Jean’s Jacket, the horse?  Both are likely to have kicked him.”

“The horse.”

“Well, he probably deserved it.  Tell him to take a fifteen and then let the horses out into the grazing pasture.”

“Will do.  Hey, if you end up hiring another jockey...any chance you might hire another trainer, too?” Hange asked in a conspiratorial yet also pleading tone.  “Or at least an assistant.”

“I’m looking, Hange, I promise, you’ll have some help, soon.”

“I’m holding you to that.  Anyway, I need to go watch Mikasa do a few laps with Treasure, I’ll see you later.  Nice meeting you, Levi, I hope we’ll see more of you in the future,” Hange told him with a big grin before she left the stable to go look for the Eren that had been mentioned.

“Seems like a lively place,” Levi commented, following Y/N deeper into the stables.

“Well, there’s a lot going on.  We have more horses in an almost recovered stage than we do recovering like Bird’s Wing, right now, so there’s a lot of work to be done with them.  And we have a couple horses that Hange is hard at work getting race ready.  Like…”  She came to a stop in front of a stall and let out a low whistle, which brought the stallion inside to the front door, head poking out with a soft snort.  Y/N went to the door, pulling a bridle off the wall and starting to fit it over the horse’s head.  Right now, all Levi could see was the white stripe snip on a pale grey face with dark brown eyes, though the neck seemed to turn pure white with grey spots spattered across the coat, a grey and white mane a little long and perhaps in need of a cut.

“This here...is Ember Rain.  You might have heard about him.”

Recognition sparked in Levi’s eyes.  “He got a career ending injury just before a race, during morning exercises, right?”

“Well, that’s what they thought.  But Ember here has made a full recovery.  As long as he’s taken care of, he can still race.  And I’m sure we both know he’s not a little league racer,” Y/N said conspiratorially, attaching the lead and opening the stall to bring Ember Rain out for Levi to get a good look at him.

Now that he saw the whole coat, he could see the horse looked like a pure white horse that had a can of watered down black paint thrown on him, spatters of black and grey in random places, except for the one almost all black leg save for a small white sock and a few white spots before halfway up the shoulder the black faded to black and then gave way to white again.  A twin leopard coat--and a beautiful one at that, especially when kept clean so it shone like this.  A light grey mane flicked proudly through the air as he was brought out in front of him, Levi’s eyes evaluating the muscles and the strong legs, the way the horse carried himself.  He wasn’t a vet or a trainer, but he’d been around enough horses to have a decent sense for a good racer when he saw one.

“He’s a bit proud and stubborn--he’s picky about who he lets near him.  He won’t let Historia or Mikasa ride him, unfortunately, no matter how much we try, so maybe…”

“You’re hoping he lets me ride him?” Levi asked, starting a slow walk around the horse.  The stallion's dark brown eyes followed him, head turning, not letting Levi out of his sight as he circled and appraised the stallion.  Y/N stayed at his head, holding firmly onto the lead and looking rather content as she let Levi do his thing.

“I don’t expect he will right away, but it’s worth a shot.  And he’d be in the races your used to, eventually, which I figured you might appreciate.  Eventually, of course.  Hange is still trying to train him back up to where he was, which is difficult without a jockey, so he’s going to need a bit more time to adjust, but there’s other, smaller league horses that you could ride in the meantime.  Race-wise, I mean.”

“But he’s the one you’d like me to focus on,” Levi asked, keeping a distance for now and not yet trying to pet the stallion or anything.

“For now.  We’ll have at least one more big leagues racer from those mares in the other barn, and you never know what will happen in the future.  I have some nice breeding IOU’s I’ve been itching to use that I might be able to start cashing in on with Ember Rain here...and whichever foal we keep when the mares give birth.”  She paused in her discussion for a moment, gently rubbing Ember’s muzzle with a faint smile.  “How do you feel about endurance racing, Levi?”

“Haven’t done it before,” Levi said bluntly, gaze still appraising the horse in front of him, trying to get a good sense of what the horse might be thinking about him.

“Are you willing to give it a try if I show you the most promising endurance horse I’ve got?” she asked him.  It sounded like she was eager to share a secret, like she was bursting at the seams wanting to share this great horse with someone.

Well, he was desperate for money.  And endurance racing was another way to do that, even if it wasn’t what he was used to.

“Maybe,” he said non committedly, and Y/N held out the lead on Ember Rain for him to take.  Surprised, and even a little reluctant in case the horse decided he didn’t like Levi, he took the lead, keeping a firm grip despite his hesitance.  Ember snorted and pawed at the ground tossing his head as if in disapproval, but when Y/N and Levi started to walk, the stallion followed, even if it was with a loud snort and after a pull or two from Levi.

“How many stables do you have in this place?” Levi asked as she started to lead him deeper into the property towards yet another barn.

“Well, we have the stables for the recovering, injured, and pregnant horses, we have our good health stables for our racers and breeding horses--that was the one we were just in, and it’s actually the biggest.  Our second biggest stable is the one we’re going to now.  It’s where we keep the mustangs.”

Levi glanced at her.  “Your promising endurance horse is a mustang?”

“Nothing wrong with that.  Just wait until you see her.”

When she’d mentioned she adopted mustangs when they went up for sale during the population cull, he hadn’t been expecting her to have a stable full of them.  Maybe a couple stalls, but here she was telling him she had stables for specifically the mustangs.

Instead of walking into the stables themselves, she directed them towards the fence.  Once there, Levi realized there actually weren’t a terribly large amount of wild horses running around in the large enclosure they were now overlooking.  Quite a few, but not a stable full, for sure.  He’d jumped to conclusions there for a second.

A couple looked like they were foals, which he quickly ruled out as the one she wanted to show him, his gaze roaming over the small pack that for the most part seemed to be running together.  Behind him, Ember pawed impatiently at the ground.

Y/N pointed out into the enclosure after a few moments.  “See the black appaloosa with the grey and white blanket?”

Levi followed her pointing finger, and there at the front of the pack, a few leagues in front of it, was the horse she’d just described, one that was notably faster than the others and seemed to be maintaining that pace and high energy as she raced around the enclosure, making turns around trees and jumping over a creek that cut through the open field with ease.  They watched her for several minutes before she slowed down, and even then, she didn’t seem to lose that energy, which could be observed even at this distance.

Seemed promising.  He was in no way an expert, but Y/N seemed to think she was sitting on a prize horse.  Well, more than one.  He would have asked why she hadn’t entered bigger stakes races yet, but she’d sort of already answered that for him.  She was waiting for the right team.  She needed a jockey used to bigger races, it sounded like her trainer needed some help, and the horses themselves needed trained and prepared for those races.

Again, it sounded like there was plenty of work for him to find here.  He was still going to make a few calls and try to get some other jobs as well, since this couldn’t entirely make up what he’d lost in the Forster fallout, but...it seemed like a damn good start.  And there was promise here, if he decided to stick around or if the Forster problem continued longer than expected.

And it was a guaranteed job, because even if he didn’t know much about Y/N, he knew enough to know she wasn’t going to cave into pressure he might try to put on her to drop Levi.  Especially since she’d been there that day and knew what happened.

Levi looked away from the mustang she’d pointed out to him and back to Ember Rain, who seemed to be staring at him intently from behind.  Levi turned all the way around, facing the stallion fully and very carefully reaching out with a hand to lightly touch the horse’s muzzle, sliding his hand gently up the horse’s forehead when he was successful touching the stallion’s muzzle.

Yeah...there was some promise around here.

“When do you want me to start?”

Everything Tags:  @antisteller​​

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn​​ @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus​​ @sunny-flo​​ @thirstyforsometea​​ @hauntedhousecat​​ @peaches-and-clouds​​ @queenofcurse​​ @wubbawubwub04​​ @lollobos @pasteldays​​ @xcocolinox​​ @itsmeaudrieee​​ @macaronnv​​ @tokyo-banana​​ @apuci-kis-szornye​​

Different Breeds Tags:  @french-girl-online​  @mysteriousmagicx​ @classyunknownlover​​ 

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[jencsi]

The Morning After

Home, a place with four walls, a roof, a sense of security and Sam the dog barking wildly as Nick and Julie stood in the hallway of his house that she had called home off and on for a year and a half. Julie winced as Sam's barking echoed in her ears making her head ache slightly. Sam was circling her as he barked, jumping up and trying to paw at her.

"Down," Nick ordered him as he dragged a suitcase inside and set it against the wall.

"It's o.k. Nicky," Julie said "he missed me, that's all."

She knelt down to comfort Sam who started whimpering when she pet him but no longer barked. He sniffed at her face, her hair, her clothes; everything about her was essentially new to him despite knowing her for almost two years.

"I just don't want him to be too rough with you," Nick said.

"He's a dog Nick, he doesn't understand what a coma means," Julie reminded him as Sam continued his sniffing.

Nick sighed watching them carefully. He knew how much Sam had missed Julie. He missed her too. After surviving being attacked by the Gig Harbor Killer, Paul Winthrop, she had spent almost two months in a coma, and another month doing therapy after waking up. Today was the day her doctor deemed her well enough to come home. Every single day since she woke up, Nick was with her, helping her recover and get back her physical strength. Despite his new job in San Diego, he promised her that he was going to make this work and figure out a way to work there and be with her as often as possible. She insisted that she did not want to leave Vegas or her job here and he agreed. He loved her too much to take her away from this place she adored. So with permission from work, he took a sabbatical to stay here and help her until she was ready to be on her own.

Nick shut the door, locking it twice out of fear for her safety now that she was home, joined her on the floor with Sam and asked "So what do you want to do first?"

She glanced around the house, shivering slightly, unsure.

"I don't know," she said shrugging "I guess I should unpack, do some laundry, take a shower, I really wish I could go to work."

"Hey," he said gently "you don't have to do anything but rest like Dr. King said."

"But I'm tired of resting Nicky;" she complained "I was resting for months, I want to do stuff, I want to be normal."

"You are normal," he insisted squeezing her hands "you just have to be careful."

She gave him a menacing look.

"O.K, how about this," he began "you can do whatever you want around here, on one condition, the minute you start to feel tired or sick, you stop and let me help you, o.k.?"

She made a face as she thought about it then said "Okay" sweetly. He sighed; relieved as he kissed her forehead, noting the tiny scar that still remained from the attack and hoping she wouldn't notice it.

As he promised, he let her unpack her things, reorganize her side of the closet, wash the things she wanted to and be as normal as possible. She soon realized why Dr. King had restricted her to small tasks during therapy. Within minutes she felt exhausted. Her arms felt like dead weight, her legs felt like jelly when she walked. She felt shaky, almost feverish and her eyes burned with tiredness. She didn't understand how spending all that time in a coma could still make her feel this tired. When the last bit of laundry was done, she changed into her favorite Seattle shirt she had missed so much, the one that fell almost to her knees and looked like a dress, and shuffled into the living room where Nick was. She was silent as she settled in his lap, laying her head on his shoulder and sighing.

"Hey cutie," he said and she grinned loving his nicknames for her "did you get all your stuff unpacked?"

"Yeah," she sighed tiredly.

"Are you hungry?" he asked "do you want me to make you something?"

She shrugged, unsure what she wanted to eat. Instead she focused on the T.V. Her eyes ached as she tried to follow the movements of the show he was watching. When he laughed at a particularly funny part, the close proximity and loudness of it made her jump.

"Sorry," he said when he noticed her flinch.

"It's okay," she mumbled weakly feeling heaviness in her head now.

"I think I should go," she announced, rubbing her eyes, trying desperately to stay awake.

"What, go where?" he asked worriedly.

"Upstairs," she clarified "it's quiet up there and I can sleep."

Nick glanced at the clock; it was only three o'clock in the afternoon.

"Okay" he said knowing this was somehow part of her recovery still.

"Will you stay with me?" she asked now, piercing him with a sad gaze.

"Of course," he promised.

He had to guide her up to the bedroom as she was slightly unsteady when she walked. She immediately crawled under the covers and sighed. The bed never felt better. The sheets were softer than the itchy ones at the hospital; here she could have all the blankets she wanted instead of the inadequately thin ones the hospital provided. The pillows were nice and cool unlike the warm sticky ones from the hospital. It was like lying on air. She felt relaxed for the first time in weeks as she sank into the bed, snuggling into the pillow, pulling the covers around her tighter and settling for sleep.

Nick watched over her, noting how exhausted she looked but there was nothing he could do except let her sleep it off.

He spent the remainder of the day watching over her as she slept. He wasn't tired but he promised her he would stay close by like she wanted. When night fell and she was still asleep, he tucked her in better, kissed her forehead and hugged her to him, intending to stay there all night to keep her safe.

It went on like this for three days. She spent most of the time sleeping. He woke her up so she could eat and stay hydrated but as soon as she was done with a meal, she dozed off. Sam didn't understand Julie's lack of energy and he often paced beside the bed while she slept. She hated feeling this way. It was like having a bad cold she couldn't shake. She felt achy all over, especially her head. She couldn't focus on any task without feeling foggy and an urge to close her eyes.

On the fourth day of this, she found herself awake but feeling groggy as she shuffled down to the kitchen in search of Nick. She found him in the living room with Sam again. He embraced her like always and let her sit in his lap when she felt too weak.

"Doing all right sweetness?" he asked.

"No," she mumbled sadly "I hate this."

"Talk to me," he soothed "tell me what you're feeling."

"Hung over," she summed up the feeling in one word "my head feels funny, like it's full of rocks, I can't focus, I can't do anything Nicky, it's like I'm living in the dark but I'm still alive, trapped in this weird tight space that I can't get out of, but it's in my head, do you know what that feels like?"

At first he was going to tell her no he didn't understand but then he remembered, being in a dark enclosed space over ten years ago. How alone and vulnerable he felt in that box. How he wanted to end his suffering but somehow worked up the nerve to keep fighting.

"Yes," he finally admitted "I do know what that feels like."

"Really?" she asked lifting her head off his shoulder to stare at him.

"Yeah," he said sitting her up "yeah, c'mere, I want to show you something."

He took her upstairs and pulled out a box of case files, newspaper clippings and printed articles from online. He handed them to her and let her read them. The words were blurry but the horrifying headline hit her like a ton of bricks.

"This- this is you?" she stammered of the article outlining his kidnapping and being buried alive then rescued.

He nodded and sat next to her on the bed.

"It was the worse thing I had ever been through," he explained "but I survived, it took time to heal but I think I'm pretty good now, I have a great family, my friends, you."

But she was immersed in the case file, reading the details, the plexi-glass box, the fire ants, the bombs. She covered her hand over her mouth and started to cry.

"This is horrible," she sobbed "Nicky I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

"Hey, don't be sorry," he soothed pulling her into his arms "I didn't want to upset you, I just wanted to show you that you're not alone babe, you're a survivor just like me and we are going to fight this coma stuff together okay?"

"Yours was worse," she continued to sob "way worse."

"No babe," he consoled her, rocking her gently "we both went through hell, but look at us now."

He glanced down at her and realized that her crying in this moment probably wasn't the best example but she knew what he meant.

"I love you," he said "I promise you we will get through this, you'll feel better again, it'll just take some time."

"I want to feel better now," she insisted curling her hand up into a fist in anger.

"I think someone needs a nap," he teased her and she punched him weakly.

She let him clean up the articles and case files then allowed him to tuck her into bed. They lay facing each other and she asked "Why did you save all that stuff?"

"To remind me of what I've been through," he said "and why I have to keep fighting."

She nodded in understanding then scooted closer to him, resting her body against his.

"How do you feel?" he asked her now.

"Tired," she sighed.

"How's your head?" he asked.

"Tired," she repeated lazily.

He grinned as she snuggled up to him. He tangled his fingers in her hair and gently scratched her head, pausing to kiss that scar on her forehead.

"You found it," she said sadly "I was hoping you wouldn't."

"Scars are good things," he reminded her "it means you fought and won see?"

He showed her a mark on his arm leftover from part of his ordeal. She pierced him with a sad look before burying her face in his chest.

"Sleep," he encouraged, continuing to scratch her head gently.

She loved that affection and felt a shiver so intense it made her whole body shake. She thought of his encouraging words and all the support he had given her thus far. She tried not to think of him trapped in that box alone and scared. She tried not to think of how he almost didn't make it and how horrible her life would be if he wasn't here right now.

"Don't go," she whispered, suddenly fearing losing him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he insisted, tightening his arms around her, stealing one last glance at the locked bedroom door, knowing they were both safe tonight.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12097401/1/The-Morning-After

#csi cbs #fanfiction #nick stokes #julie finlay #mine #another old post from 2016 #originally on ff.net

[shirlleycoyle]

Target’s Delivery App Workers Describe a Culture of Retaliation and Fear

In late October, Ashley Johnson, a single mom and seasoned gig worker in a quiet Seattle suburb, tweeted about the decline of lucrative work on Shipt, the Target-owned grocery delivery app.

“Shipt has taken the […] model of hiring so many shoppers per area that those of us who have given our blood, sweat, and tears can no longer even get orders unless we pre schedule shifts. I haven't had an order in WEEKS. WEEKS. I'm hungry, shipt,” Johnson wrote. “I went from making $200 a week with shipt to making $0-25.”

Last year, Shipt flooded its markets with new workers and began rolling out an algorithmic pay model in certain cities, like Seattle, that many workers say has left them scrambling to piece together gigs and took a chunk out of their paychecks, as Gizmodo reported.

An hour after tweeting, Johnson received an email from Shipt telling her that she had been “deactivated” and was not “eligible to reapply” for her job, according to an email reviewed by Motherboard. The letter provided no explanation for her removal from the app. (On gig economy apps like Uber and the like, “deactivation” is the same thing as getting fired.)

We don't know why Shipt deactivated Johnson's account, but the company has a track record of censoring and retaliating against workers for asking basic questions about their working conditions or expressing dissent. In particular, on its official national Facebook group, known as the Shipt Shopper Lounge, which has more than 100,000 members, Shipt moderators selected by the company frequently censor and remove posts, turn off comments sections, and ban workers who speak out about their working conditions, according to screenshots, interviews, and other documentation provided to Motherboard. The same is true on local Facebook groups, which Shipt also monitors closely, according to workers.

Motherboard spoke to seven current Shipt workers, each of whom described a culture of retaliation, fear, and censorship online. They told Motherboard that posts asking for advice on getting higher tips and how to avoid liabilities on the job never get approved by moderators.

According to the Facebook group’s “About” page, the shopper lounge, is intended to be a “helpful community for all Shipt shoppers.” But workers lament censorship online and joke about their First Amendment rights. “The last post I commented on got deleted…I’m not even from the U.S. but I know we all have freedom of speech here, right?,” one worker wrote in a non-company controlled Facebook group where workers complained about censorship.

One of these workers, who lives in a Midwestern city, and asked to remain anonymous due to fear they would be retaliated against, said they were deactivated in early February after writing a comment on a post announcing the new corporate logo, a green shopping bag.

“No one actually knows what gets you deactivated. They never tell you. It’s like you’re always walking on eggshells.”

They had criticized the new design, and later that day received two emails within 15 minutes of each other. One was from a Shipt social media specialist informing them they had been suspended from the Facebook group; another, also from Shipt, said they had been deactivated.

After the worker shot off a series of emails to Shipt and threatened a lawsuit, they said, the company followed up to tell them that their deactivation had been a mistake: Signing off as “Shopper Success,” a representative for the company said it wrongly took their post to be “inappropriate” and “discriminatory,” and would reverse its decision. But the worker was still shaken. “What they did was wrong. They can’t go around firing people,” the Shipt worker told Motherboard.

According to workers and emails reviewed by Motherboard, Shipt never provides explanations for why workers are deactivated.

“No one actually knows what gets you deactivated. They never tell you,” Willy Solis, a Shipt worker in the Dallas area, said. “It’s like you’re always walking on eggshells.”

“If something rubs people the wrong way, it gets deleted,” Michael, another Shipt worker who works as a security guard by day on the Gulf Coast and asked to use his first name only because he feared retaliation, told Motherboard. “The Facebook group is supposed to be a resource of information to help workers. But if you say something, someone doesn’t like—a Shipt moderator just removes the thread, or removes you from the lounge.”

He said he was kicked out of his local Facebook group, also moderated by Shipt, for arguing with a moderator about a comment he made about the demise of good paying gigs on the app. “I got honest and made some comments about not working the regular schedule anymore, and then me and one of the moderators got into a pissing match,” Michael said. “It took me a couple days to realize I had been banned from the group.”

“Shipt’s official social channels exist as a supportive online community and shoppers are asked not to post inflammatory, rude, insulting, attacking, trolling or threatening posts or comments," a Shipt spokesperson told Motherboard when asked about censorship and deactivations on social media. "Shipt, however, does not make deactivation decisions based on shopper feedback consistent with those guidelines. We do have written agreements with all shoppers that outline possible causes for deactivation including consistent performance issues resulting in a poor customer experience or unlawful behavior.”

Shipt, a major rival of the grocery delivery platform Instacart, was founded in Birmingham, Alabama. The app launched in 2014 and got its foothold smaller cities in the South and Midwest before spreading to coastal metro areas like Seattle and Washington DC. (Because of Instacart’s hold on San Francisco, the app is not popular in Silicon Valley.)

When Target bought the company for $550 million in 2017, Shipt rapidly expanded its same-day delivery to half of its stores. Today, Shipt has more than 100,000 gig workers, according to the company. The company has tripled its geographic reach since 2017.

Shipt workers told Motherboard that customers who order from Target often seem surprised when independent contractors in plain clothes driving their personal cars show up at their homes with massive deliveries from Target. Because Shipt classifies its workers as contractors, not employees, workers pay for all of their expenses—including gas, wear and tear on their cars, and accidents—out of pocket. They say the tips on large orders from Target, sometimes with hundreds of items, can be meager.

Workers say Shipt customers often live in gated and upscale communities and that the app encourages workers to tack on gifts like thank you cards, hot cocoa, flowers, and balloons onto orders (paid for out of their own pocket) and to offer to walk customer’s dogs and take out their trash, as a courtesy. Shipt calls this kind of service “Bringing the Magic,” which can improve workers’ ratings from customers that factor into the algorithm that determines who gets offered the most lucrative orders.

“If you say you want to create a post [on the Facebook group], it has to be approved by a moderator and they never approve anything except for the super syrupy stuff,” said Solis, the Shipt shopper in the Dallas area. “People show off giving customers balloons. A lot of over the top things. It creates a false sense of what to expect. It sets up other shoppers to look bad if they don’t do those things, and we’re not even employees.”

One of the four rules on the Facebook group is to avoid “venting”: “Everyone needs to vent every now and then, but let’s keep that between you and your friends. While we definitely appreciate feedback and have a whole forum dedicated to sharing feedback, we are successful because we maximize and focus on the positive!”

“Any time people say things that are important, they are shut down,” said Solis. “You have to make Shipt look good and say all the happy things.” Solis told Motherboard that his comment was removed from the national Facebook group when he commented on a photo of a worker walking a customer’s dog, saying doing so as an independent contractor could present a liability to the worker.

In February, other workers also posted complaints about Shipt’s new logo announcement on the Facebook group. One worker commented: “I don’t think no one cares about the new logo no offense. What’s going on with the pay system and tips?” Shortly thereafter, a Shipt moderator shut down the comments section, according to a screenshot Motherboard obtained.

One of the biggest causes for concern among workers, as of late, has been the switch from a clear, commission-based pay model ($5 plus a 7.5 percent commission on all orders) to a new model that “take estimated shop time, substitutions, street traffic, and estimated travel time into consideration,” according to emails provided to Motherboard. But, similar to other gig economy apps like Instacart, Shipt does not tell workers how each of these factors is weighted, causing concern that Shipt could tinker with pay whenever it wants, resulting in significantly lower earnings over time. Workers in some markets say their pay has already dropped by 40 to 50 percent, according to Gizmodo.

In Kalamazoo, Michigan, one of the markets where the new pay model rolled out in January, shoppers say their pay has dropped significantly.

“Our best estimate is that payouts are now 30 percent less, and up to 50 percent on orders,” one Shipt worker in Kalamazoo with two years under her belt, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation, told Motherboard. “I fluctuate between extreme anger and despair. It’s been three weeks since this has been implemented, and one of my good friends told me that she’s down the equivalent of a car payment.”

“I fluctuate between extreme anger and despair. It’s been three weeks since this has been implemented, and one of my good friends told me that she’s down the equivalent of a car payment.”

Another Shipt worker in Palm Springs, California provided Motherboard with receipts for a 181-item order that included six Snapple cases, five La Croix cases, and 12 packs of soda. They had to wheel three shopping carts out of a Ralph’s grocery store and deliver them —and earned $12.68 for the job. The customer did not tip. (Under the older, more transparent pay model, they would have earned $44.19.) “That’s a real slap in the face,” they told Motherboard.

When asked about the new pay model, a spokesperson for Shipt told Motherboard that it could not go into detail about the specific markets where the changes had been rolled out, but claimed that pay was constant if not higher in these new markets.

“Our goal is to maximize our shoppers' earning potential and ensure they get the best value for their time,” the spokesperson said. “We are testing a new pay structure in select markets to better account for the time it takes to complete and deliver an order, including regional factors like drive time.”

Many Shipt shoppers say they were initially drawn to the app because of its friendly marketing and commission-based pay. But with the new lack of transparency, many are realizing that working for the app is no longer worth it.

Do you work for Shipt or another gig economy app? We'd love to hear from you. You can email Lauren at [email protected], or connect securely on Signal 201-897-2109.

“I was actually quite a cheerleader for Shipt for a while compared to Instacart. It puts on a happier face,” said Johnson, the worker who was deactivated after tweeting about her working conditions. “But my deactivation felt really petty. It was really frustrating to work super hard for them, filling 200-pound orders across three cities and getting good ratings, and then have this happen. If they’re going to pay low, that’s what they’re going to do. I just wish they’d be more transparent about it.”

“I used to tell my friends and family members that Shipt was so great,” said Solis, the Dallas worker. “But I can’t rely on the platform anymore. They stamp out resistance by flooding the market with new workers […] and they’re actively monitoring all the social media groups. That’s why everyone wants to be anonymous. We’re going to be deactivated if we speak out.”

Correction: This article originally said that Willy Solis was removed from the national Shipt Facebook group. Solis' comment was removed, but he was not removed from the group. Motherboard regrets the error.

Target’s Delivery App Workers Describe a Culture of Retaliation and Fear syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[bigyack-com]

Modern Black Friday Work Force: Postal Clerk, Influencer, Robot

A postal employee who processes one Amazon return after another. A part-time stockroom clerk who works spotty hours for minimum wage and no health benefits. A social media influencer who pitches products to her 83,000 Instagram followers. A robot that scans the shelves at Walmart. Meet America’s retail work force in 2019. Nearly five million people are employed in traditional retail jobs. Many still work in stores, selling stuff, but the reality is that today’s retail industry is powered by a variety of staff employees, gig workers and artificial intelligence. The changes reflect shifts in what shoppers want — lower prices and more convenience. Shopping, even in stores, now involves technology that is altering the way we interact with the sales staff. Here are six stories of modern-day retail work. — The Luggage Salesman — Sterling Lewis, Macy’s, Manhattan There are not many retail workers left like Mr. Lewis. He started at Macy’s 37 years ago and he’s still selling luggage in the Herald Square store. Retailing was not the career Mr. Lewis expected to pursue when he moved to Brooklyn from Trinidad at age 13. He attended college briefly, but dropped out when his son was born and he needed a job. He went to work in the Macy’s stockroom, racking up overtime to support his family. “You do what you have to do,” he said. Today, Mr. Lewis earns about $70,000 a year, which includes wages and 2 percent commissions on each item he sells. It can be tempting, he says, to immediately steer shoppers to a Tumi bag that costs $1,000, but that only leads to more returns. “I start low and come up,” he said. “I want the customer to say ‘show me something better.’” Mr. Lewis, 63, met his wife while she was working in the shoe department. Together, the couple saved up enough money for a down payment on a house in Jackson Heights on a corner lot with a backyard big enough for three fig trees, a grape arbor and vegetable beds with sweet peppers, garlic, collard greens and strawberries. Mr. Lewis wears a gold hoop earring in each ear and a blue lanyard around his neck to show off his membership in the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, which he credits with providing him and his colleagues with financial security. Would he ever encourage his 3-year-old grandson to work in a store one day? “Hell no,” Mr. Lewis says. “You can’t grow in retail anymore.” — The Robot — Wall-E, Walmart, Phillipsburg, N.J. Wall-E starts the day at 4 a.m., rolling through the aisles, scanning the shelves and looking for “outs” — any item that needs restocking. The robot has a long white neck, bright spotlights and 15 cameras that snap thousands of photos, which are transmitted directly to its colleagues’ hand-held devices telling them exactly which shelves need restocking. After it finishes scanning, Wall-E parks itself in a remote corner of the store, next to a bright blue sign that says “Our People Make the Difference,” and takes a “nap” to recharge its batteries. Wall-E works two shifts, seven days a week, in the Walmart supercenter in Phillipsburg, a former railroad and industrial hub on the Delaware River. Designed by the robotics company Bossa Nova, Wall-E is one of 350 robots at Walmart stores across the country. Their purpose is to free up employees to interact with customers or focus on other initiatives like Walmart’s push to deliver groceries to customers ordering online. This month, the store in Phillipsburg hired 22 employees and it is looking to hire 25 more. Employees have embraced the robot, said Tom McGowan, the store manager, because it performs a tedious task no one likes — cataloging out-of-stock items. (Walmart allows store employees to name each robot. Wall-E wears a name badge like every other worker.) Customers have different reactions: A few children have tried to ride the robots, while many adults ignore the devices and keep shopping. Some ask whether robots are taking jobs away from humans. “I tell them ‘No, I actually have openings,’” Mr. McGowan said. “‘Would you like to apply?’” — The Stockroom Worker Nevin Muni, T.J. Maxx, Queens For Ms. Muni, life as a part-time worker in a stockroom in Astoria can be unpredictable. Most weeks, Ms. Muni is scheduled to work either 12 or 16 hours, but she is often asked to come in on her days off. Ms. Muni, who earns the local minimum wage of $15 an hour, never turns down work. “I have to make ends meet,” she said. “Whatever job I find, I take.” An immigrant from Turkey, Ms. Muni, 52, takes multiple train lines to reach the store, leaving her house in Elmhurst, Queens, and her husband, who is recovering from a stroke, before 6 a.m. Hoping to save money one recent month, Ms. Muni bought a 30-day MetroCard instead of paying for single rides. But she ended up losing money on the card because the extra shifts never materialized that month. She has no health insurance, but manages to be resourceful. She recently had a cavity filled by dental students at New York University. Ms. Muni moved to New York eight years ago and recently joined the Retail Action Project, a worker group and job training program affiliated with the retail employees union. She has degrees in media economics and human resources management from a university in Turkey. But those skills are not needed in the cramped, windowless stockroom on the third floor of the T.J. Maxx., behind the men’s underwear rack and the bin of Christmas-themed pillows. Ms. Muni unpacks boxes from delivery trucks and arranges last season’s pajamas and dress shirts on hangers, for display in the store. Her co-workers in the stockroom include women from Peru, Ecuador, Morocco and the Dominican Republic. “We laugh. We talk about family,” she said. “My job is hard, but I love these friends.” — The Postal Employee — Eric. C. Wilson, post office, Greenwich, Conn. Mr. Wilson has watched the internet upend how Americans shop and communicate from a unique vantage point: the service window of the post office where he has worked for more than 30 years. When Mr. Wilson, 58, started in the business, his job revolved around processing letters, cards and flat parcels. But those have fallen off in the age of email and text messages, he said. Now, his window is bustling with a specific type of package: returns of online purchases, which have become an enormous part of his days. “We get hundreds and hundreds of those, especially this time of year,” Mr. Wilson, a father of two, said in a telephone interview as he drove to his home in Stamford, Conn. The change is a side effect of the boom in online shopping, which results in far more returns than purchases made at brick-and-mortar stores. It has been a boon for post offices and employees like Mr. Wilson. “At one time, they thought the internet was actually going to kill the Postal Service, but it’s been very helpful because of the way people order packages online now,” he said. Mr. Wilson’s post office will operate four or five service windows — up from its typical two — between Thanksgiving weekend and Dec. 24, he said. Sending packages to Amazon is a shift from handling letters but Mr. Wilson is not sentimental about it. “I don’t really miss it at all,” he said. “You just adjust to what the change is.” — The Influencer — While Ms. Johnson doesn’t technically work in retailing, she’s one of the many social media mavens who have become central to the industry by making product pitches to her roughly 83,000 Instagram followers and 355,000 YouTube subscribers. Throughout November — which Ms. Johnson, 37, calls “Black Friday month” — she estimates that she will participate in about 20 sponsored campaigns, in which brands pay her for certain promotional posts. She also earns commissions from retailers like Best Buy and Target when her followers click on a link she provides and buy an item. “At this point, what I’ve created has turned into a media and marketing company,” said Ms. Johnson, who lives outside Salt Lake City. “I’ve talked to multiple brands who said they don’t spend as much money on TV ads and have put it all into marketing with influencers or online marketing because they just get a bigger return.” Ms. Johnson, whose posts sometimes feature her 10-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son, started blogging about bargains a decade ago on a site, now sold, called Freebies 2 Deals, as a way to work from home. On Instagram, her calls to buy cardigans on Amazon and toys at Target are interspersed with date night selfies and relatable fare about parenting. “The people who follow me or watch my stories feel like we’re best friends,” she said. When she recommends a great deal or product they love, “it builds another layer of trust.” — The Quasi-Fulfillment Worker — Sherika McGibbon, Zara, Manhattan When Ms. McGibbon started working at Zara six years ago, customers seemed to have far more patience. “Today many people are in a hurry,” Ms. McGibbon said. “They don’t take time to touch and feel the material. They just want to buy it and leave.” Ms. McGibbon, who has worked all over the retail industry, including at the Gap and the now-defunct Daffy’s, attributes the change to online shopping, which prioritizes convenience over the experience. E-commerce has also altered Ms. McGibbon’s daily routine and turned her Zara near Union Square into a miniature fulfillment center. Ms. McGibbon, who earns about $16 an hour, spends the first part of the morning on the sales floor interacting with customers. After lunch, she reports to the stockroom and packs FedEx boxes until her shift ends at 5 p.m. The delivery service picks up online orders twice a day. Ms. McGibbon, 31, usually packs about 50 such orders a day. During the Black Friday weekend, her store expects to ship 2,000 orders. A single mother raising a 12-year-old son, Ms. McGibbon says she still enjoys the challenge of helping customers put together an outfit. As a hobby, she advises friends and family how to dress. “Stylin’ by Sherika,” she calls her consultancy. She would like to turn it into a business someday. “Retail is fast,” she said over the throbbing music at the Fifth Avenue store. “There is a lot of adrenaline. But if it ever gets slow, I got to go.” Source link Read the full article

[artificialqueens]

Love me tender - Part One (Shalaska/Pearlet), by Lavish

A/N: Grown-up AU in which Alaska is a stressed adoption lawyer struggling in her marriage, Violet and Matt are the teen parents of a watermellon baby, and Sharon is their not-so-conventional nurse. Set in sunny Cali. If you enjoy this, please let me know by dropping a line for me here. Love always, Lavish.

High heels clicked against the hard wood floor in a rhythm that didn’t really follow the lounge music coming from the over-head speakers. No, these heels stomped in a hurried run, which were not that rare in hospital scenarios. Alaska reached room 701 of the Dr. RuPaul Charles Institute of Medicine and checked the time, pausing to collect herself and catch her breath. 11:03. She hissed, realizing she’d been late. Again. This was her last appointment of a very troubled week, in which she had managed to be late for six meetings and one court hearing. This wasn’t typical of Alaska, since she took pride in being extremely professional, but it had been happening very often. As often as she left the house after a fight with her husband Tom, that is – the type of occasion she was getting rather accustomed to. She looked down at her nails, analyzing the bits she had nervously picked on the way.

Shaking her head lightly, as if it would make her forget all about it, she decided to put her issues aside and deal with the matter in hands. Alaska brushed down her pantsuit, allowing the black fabric to accommodate to her modest curves. She knocked timidly on the door and put her head inside the hospital room. A fed-up looking, very pregnant teen was laid on the bed, with an equally young boy to her left, and an odd nurse to her right, facing the wall, apparently taking some notes. Alaska didn’t have the time to analyze the scene before the girl opened her mouth, sounding more like a teenager than Alaska expected by the looks of her mature makeup.

“Um, yeah?”

“Hello. Sorry I’m late, there was traffic.” The same lie she told in court rolled down her tongue in her desperate need to always justify herself. It didn’t even occur to Alaska they might have not even noticed her 3 minute fail. Blaming it on the traffic of a sunny day in LA seemed to make more sense than to gush around about the actual reason. She made her way to the bed. “I’m Alaska… I’ll be your adoption lawyer, I believe you contacted me on Tuesday…?”

At that, the nurse turned around, looking blushed and curious. The blue uniform didn’t do much for her, but Alaska could tell by the shapes beyond it she had a beautiful, lean, figure. Her eyes were wide and inquiring, but transmitted some kind of shame. Trying her best to be discreet, the nurse kicked what looked like a can of PBR under her table before speaking.

“Hi! I’m Sharon! I’m Violet’s nurse, and potential adoptive mommy.” She gave a tiny smile and Alaska noticed an adorable gap between her front teeth. Mixed with arched, thin brows and gorgeous black hair, it made her look human, but not less astonishingly beautiful. They shook hands, and Alaska instantly felt hyper conscious of her cold fingers. She withdrew from the handshake and proceeded to the bed with an unsure smile.

“Hi, Violet. It’s very good to meet you. How’s the baby?”

“It’s whatever. I mean, it grows everyday, it’s healthy and all.” She rolled her heavily lined eyes before pouting slightly. “It’s really adorable actually, we have a picture already. Matty, show her the Mellon.”

The boy, Matt, took out a square of paper from his wallet. Alaska felt her heart break while watching the kid. It seemed very clear to her he was the least inclined of the two to give it up.

“This was at 24 weeks. We’re at 26 right now.” He pointed to the date, his sandy blonde hair falling down blue eyes, covering what seemed like tears. Alaska patted him on the shoulder and offered a hand, shaking with confidence and trying her best to exude comfort.

Behind him, Violet whimpered quietly and extended a hand towards Sharon, who made her way to the bed and held it tightly. Alaska felt like she was stepping in the middle of a three-way family, given how established and comfortable they were around each other, and it made her hurt for them even more.

“We’ve been calling him-slash-her Watermelon, you know, because they get so big.”

“That’s lovely.” Alaska spoke from the heart. She knew first-hand how much one could get attached to child, no matter how long – or how little – you bared them. “Well, since we are all gathered here, shall we start discussing terms? If you’re okay with it, of course, dear.”

The lawyer knew better than to jump to signing papers all of a sudden. She made sure every word she chose was with care, as to not increase their suffering any further. Alaska was good at this, she understood people much better than she understood herself, and therefore it was much easier taking care of their needs than it was her own. She glanced at Sharon, earning a nod of her head, indicating to proceed. Taking a seat close to the stretcher, she asked:

“Let me know you two a little better, will you? Tell me about yourselves.”

“Well…” The girl lifted herself with care, showing off her 6 month baby bump. Alaska felt a sting of pain to her heart. She had no kids of her own, not for lack of desire, nor for lack of trying. “I’m seventeen. I’ve moved in from Atlanta… when was it, Matt?”

“Uhm, 2015.” He didn’t have to really think about it. The fact he seemed to be the most grounded between the two made him look older, despite his camo shorts and over sized jumper. He seemed like a man when he spoke about his girlfriend.

“Yeah, that’s it. I was 15 back then, and I joined the Visage School for Girls. That’s how I met this dork, he attended my very first dance at the School – the only event we ever host that welcomes boys. Since then, we’ve been together. I’m a model. Well, was, I haven’t had any gigs since this happened.” She pointed to her bump, with a somewhat displeased look on her face. “Listen, miss… Alaska, was it? I can’t have this baby right now. It’s not like I don’t want it, though. I don’t want it, but I don’t don’t want it. I’m just… not ready for this yet. Neither is Matt, by the way, don’t let him lead you otherwise.”

Alaska found herself smiling as she listened. Violet seemed like a good kid, but she could agree with that part: she could not have a kid at this moment.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, I’ve told you this before.” He seemed resented, and turned his back on Violet, who crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue. “I really want this kid. I’m 20, I have a job, I could provide for her, and for the ki-”

“Matt, you work at a pet store! Do you want to feed dog biscuits to my baby? Because you will NOT.”

“Vi, just let me talk! You always do this, you are completely out-”

“Ok, ok, big fella!” Sharon, the nurse, intervened. She stood between the couple, while Violet hugged her belly fiercely, as if she thought Matt would snatch the baby out right then and there, and would take it to the pet store to bathe with the puppies. “You two quit the shit fest and sort your stuff out while me and lawyer here go for some coffee. Do not open another beer while I’m gone.”

At that, she took Alaska by the wrist and escorted her out of the room. She held the door for the blonde, offering a smile as she walked by, and closed it behind them as they walked to the cafeteria.

“So, I hear you’re this big shot lawyer, right? I really hope you can help us.” She looked at her and, in her smile, Alaska could also detect loneliness. It made her want to hold the nurse’s hand, but she contained herself to a discreet smile. Sharon placed their orders: two espressos and a chocolate muffin – she said here they served the best and, for some reason, Alaska easily believed it.

“I hope so too. There is no reason not to work this out between the three of you, they clearly are not ready to welcome another life into their own. My profession forbids me to hand the baby to an unstable couple.” The lady behind the counter handed back two steamy mugs and the small cake. The pair sat face to face in the empty cafeteria.

“I am not a stable couple but I would like the child.” Sharon was humorous, but the need in her voice made it sincere. “I, uhm, I live alone, but my apartment is all safe, I have no weapons at home and I, I have a steady job that could suffice, and I really like PBR but I would definitely give it up for Mellon bec-”

Alaska stopped her, holding Sharon’s hand, now a little more sure of herself.

“You will be an amazing mother. I will have to check your apartment and look out for potential threats and make sure you are no psycho, but other than that… It’s great that the parents know and trust you.”

Sharon closed her eyes for a second, the security transmitted by Alaska making it’s way into her soul, just as a tear made it’s way down her cheek. Alaska only noticed she was crying as well when Sharon leaned in to wipe it. The eye contact was intense, and Alaska felt numerous feelings travelling from their touch through her body. In Sharon’s eyes, she saw a confident woman reflected. A smart woman who would actually help them. She dared say beautiful, in spite of her messy chunks of blonde hair pointing in every direction due to the running earlier. Some kind of life saver. And she saw Sharon too, a goddess of beauty, with a smokers voice and a gigantic heart, all soft to the touch and so incredibly caring, though she may look tough on the outside. Alaska felt a smile curl the sides of her mouth, at the very same time as Sharon smiled back. Some sort of connection downed on them. They never let go of each other’s hands, and only then, when the metal became a little warmer, did Alaska realize she still had her wedding band on.

Manifesting their connection again, both knew to let go. It wasn’t awkward, it didn’t feel uncomfortable, it was mutual. Sharon cut their muffin in half, and ate a small piece of it.

“We’ll have to discuss giving alcohol to minors, tho…” Alaska joked, still keeping eye contact with the nurse, quickly warming up to her presence. Normally she would condone that, but somehow she felt as if Sharon was this cool motherly figure to the young couple, in a very Mean Girls kind of way. That made Alaska like her even more.

“I think you should know now Mellon will be attaching cans of PBR to his baby bottles by the time he learns to grab.” Her smile was sincere, from her unlined teeth to her big eyes, and it made Alaska wish she could snap a picture right at that moment.

For the first time since they sat down, Sharon broke their stare, trying to look at an imaginary thing on the ceiling.

“Can you hear? I love this song, does that make me a loser? Oh my God.”

“It’s, um…” Alaska tried to concentrate, adjusting her ears to capture the tune. “Something by Elvis, ‘Tender’ something? Help me out here.” She squeezed her eyes, laughing at her poor memory. She remembered her parents listening to it while she grew up, a vivid image of her small lawn in her head, and the familiar beat. She opened her eyes, still lost in memories, and nibbled at the small cake. She looked up at Sharon with a pleased look on her face – the delicacy was indeed fantastic.

“It’s ‘Love me tender’, how could you not remember that? I swear, by the time this process is through you will know it by heart. It’s pretty rare to listen to anything besides Elvis and the Bee Gees here at the hospital. If I didn’t like this song it’d be complete torture.”

“God, I can only imagine.” Alaska drawled out her words, allowing her face to contort in sympathy to the nurse. “I don’t really have a working playlist or something of that sort, but you can bet your ass I get tired of listening people saying basically the same things every day.” She took a deep breath, searching for Sharon’s eyes again. “To have a case like yours where in everything is just so settled is extremely refreshing. Which reminds me, should we go back…?”

“Yeah, I think those two must have had some time to settle in their agreements.” Sharon stood up, collecting their used mugs and handed it back to the cafeteria lady with a quiet ‘thank you’ and a smile. Alaska pretended not to see when the lady behind the counter looked at her, then back at Sharon, and winked in the nurse’s direction.

They walked back to the room, and already from the hall Alaska could hear Violet’s bubbly laughter. They seemed to be in a good place right now, and upon entering the room, Alaska felt her heart fill with joy as she saw two healthy smiles.

“Shar, do you think the baby will look more like me or him? Can you imagine if the baby had Matt’s face? It’d look so fucking over it from day one, like it’s too cool for the nursery or something.”

The three laughed and Alaska watched in awe as Sharon tossed her head back from laughter. God, she was gorgeous. It wasn’t typical of Alaska to pay that close attention to anyone, really, but Sharon wasn’t typical at all, nor were Violet and Matt. She felt like she was stepping into something very special here, and that made her glad to work with bringing families together. She felt something vibrating in her pocket, and upon inspecting her phone, she saw the name and the face of the only person who could burst that bubble of happines. Tom calling, read the lit screen. She let it go to voicemail, shoving her phone deep into her purse.

“Well, I think this went pretty smooth! We can meet again next week, if you’d like. How’s Friday for you guys?”

“We can do Friday.” Matt answered for him and Violet, helping her stand. Her belly looked even bigger opposed to her small frame. She fluffed up her hair, leaning in to embrace Alaska in an unexpected hug.

“Don’t get used to them, she’s just more amicable because of hormones.“ Offered Matt, seeing the look of surprise in Alaska’s face.

“Fuck off.” Was the only answer she gave him. Violet whispered to Alaska: “I really like you, Miss. I think you can actually help us.”

“That’s what I came to do, darling.”

Violet let go of her, moving towards Sharon. She let the nurse pet her bump, listening with care to her recommendations about vitamins and resting time. At that, Alaska shuffled closer to Matt, offering a smile which he responded with a smaller, sadder one.

“She’s taking my baby from me.” Was all he managed to say, calmly and quiet, but with enough honesty to set Alaska’s heart ablaze. “Violet will take my kid.”

“She’s not, love. She’s doing the best for the kid, I promise you. We all are.”

“I guess.” He looked down, sadness washing over his young appearance from moments ago. It became clear to the lawyer that, every time they discussed names, the sex, or who the baby would look the most like, it was a blow to his heart. Matt still had hope him and Violet would raise their little watermelon.

“We’ll figure it out, ok?”

“Ok. Thanks, Alaska.” He looked up again, trustful. Alaska could not express her gratitude with how much those three individuals, so different from every other client she’d had, managed to get to her in so little time. It all just clicked.

Lastly, after Violet and Matt left, Alaska said her goodbyes to Sharon.

“Should I attend next week too?”

“Of course. You’re part of this, Shar.” The nickname formed itself on her tongue without warning, but it felt right to say it. Sharon smiled, grabbing her hand again. Alaska let her, surrendering to the warmth of her palm against her.

“Thank you, thank you so much. You have no ide-” Sharon was cut off by Alaska’s phone buzzing once again. She turned to look at the nurse, nervous she had ruined the moment. Still, Sharon’s smile didn’t shake. “We’ll have time to talk this over next week. I look forward to it already, Lasky.” She finished, putting emphasis on the nickname. They laughed, and Sharon squeezed her hand.

Tentatively, Alaska went in for a hug. Sharon embraced her, lingering a little longer, and resting her head on the lawyers shoulder. Again, Alaska was overcome by the terrible feeling Sharon was struggling with loneliness, and was overwhelmed by her own desire to fix that. She felt like, now she was given the opportunity, she was determined to color Sharon’s sterile, gray and white days spent in those boring hospital rooms with a baby’s rosy skin and light hair. She had to.

“I’ll see you on Friday, Alaska.”

“Till then!” Alaska said, with a dramatic exit. She could hear Sharon’s laughter from outside the room.

She walked much slower to leave than the had to enter the hospital, heels clicking on the hard wood floor in the rhythm of a familiar song in her mind.

Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go…

#alaska thunderfuck #sharon needles #shalaska #violet chachki #pearl liaison #pearlet #fluff #lavish #love me tender #rpdr fanfiction #submission #lesbian au #m/f au

[haulix]

Learning to trust ‘The Pinch’

Next March will be a major occasion for me. I don’t know the date specifically, but that month will mark seven years of full-time employment in the music industry. I will be thirty when it happens and, hopefully, it won’t be the last year that I get to celebrate.

I still remember getting the call that changed everything, and it could not have come at a more opportune time. My friend and frequent collaborator, Ben Howell, was seated across from me inside a gas station in rural Arkansas when my cell phone rang. We had spent the night in a motel we could barely afford after my car blew a rod and left us stranded on the side of the freeway the night before. We were broke, hungry, upset, and - according to a kind mechanic who woke us to break the news that the car could not be fixed - stranded.

When the call came in, I was expecting the worst. If the past twenty-four hours had lead me to believe anything it was that the music industry might not be as interested in me as I was in it. Ben and I had spent the several days prior attending SXSW in Texas, which was fun and filled with networking, but ultimately did not provide any leads to paid work. Then the debacle with my car happened, not to mention the fact we were over one-thousand miles from home and several hundred miles from anyone we knew in a town of less than 1,000 people that was not easily found on a map. If the universe or God or whatever really gives people signs, this felt like a big one.

But then I answered, and within a few minutes I was offered a thirty-hour a week job in Boston at a music discovery startup that wanted to leverage my writing talents to help grow their business. It was exactly what I had always wanted to do, the very job I felt I had been training my entire life to do, and here it was being offered to me at a rate that would allow me to pay my bills and live away from my parents. I excitedly told Ben the news, but considering the fact everything good I had to say would do nothing to free us from our Arkansas predicament, he was less than amused.

Several years later, trouble struck again. The same job offer that brought me to Boston turned into a source of constant trouble after the business ran into trouble securing and maintaining investors. Weeks would pass without anyone below top ranking staff being paid, often with a handful of people being furloughed (a fancy term where you’re not really fired, but you’re also not getting compensated for any recent work you’ve done). If us lower lower employees did get paid it was usually a fraction of what we were owed, with promises that everything would come to as us funds were made available.

After a months of these erratic fluctuations with cash flow the company came to a crossroads where those in charge either had to close things entirely or cut the staff to a small skeleton crew. They chose the latter, keeping me on board, and cut more than a dozen people. They also sold our longtime offer, which was a sprawling space just outside of Boston, and moved the remaining eight employees into a shared working space in a different town. I soon found myself working in a windowless room smaller than my childhood bedroom with another individual, and between the two of us we were doing the work a team of six or more had been assigned just weeks prior.

As humans, we are often able to sense trouble is on the horizon. Something in our DNA alerts us to the fact that we are standing on unsteady ground and need to make changes. I could feel that uneasiness when the Boston gig lost its main office, then again when I found myself spending eight hours in artificial light working for a company that might not be able to pay more for the time I was putting in. To make matters worse, the financial uncertainty had put strains on my home life, including my relationships. I knew something needed to be done, but I was so set on continuing to work in the music business that I refused to sever ties until something else came along.

It was on a day like any other, tucked away from the sun in that tiny office shared office with bills piling up, that my life changed once more. For reasons I still don’t fully understand I chose to contact Haulix and inquire about their marketing efforts. I think my interventions were to attempt securing freelance work to cover bills while my primary job found funding, but after only a few email exchanges I was offered a role in the company that matched the pay I was supposed to be receiving from my current career. Better yet, I could work from home.

Over four years later, I still have that job at Haulix, and my position in the company has grown over time. There is still a lot of uncertainty about the music industry and where it is headed in the years to come, but for now we are a leader in our market and a trendsetter for promotional distribution. I would never dare take credit for all of that, but I do like to think I have found a home in this business that will welcome me as long as it can afford to do so. In this business, that is as close to ‘making it’ as any professional can hope to come.

But recently, something changed in another part of my life. After sever years together my partner, who only became my wife in the last year, decided she needed to leave. It hit me as a complete shock, one which I am still recovering from as I write this entry. In a moment I needed to find a new home and a new life without her. I never planned on having to do the latter, and I had yet to even consider where we might move next. Now I needed answers quickly, but I had no idea where to start. I packed my belongings, and in the process split our possessions into two piles of stuff.  I loaded my cats into my car and headed to my parents’ home three states away so that I might get out from under the roof my wife and I once shared.

I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared about the future. The thought alone keeps me up at night. My brain tells me that if I could not predict her leaving me then there must be other things on the way in my life that I don’t foresee at this point. Maybe I lose my job due to an evolving industry, which would make me an unemployed divorcee on the edge of turning thirty who currently lives with his parents. The likelihood all that comes to pass is very low, but still — it could happen and that is more than enough to prevent me from finding any sense of peace.

But last night I had a thought, and that thought lead to this entry. Every time I have found myself cornered  in ‘the pinch,’ which here means any situation I do not know my way out of, something happens to renew my faith in the path I am on. Sometimes it comes in the form of a phone call, an email, or maybe just a conversation with a close friend about how you’re really feeling. When you find the strength to admit you do not have control over the situation, but continue to do everything in your power to influence it in a positive sense, change happens. It might not be what you thought you wanted, and it might demand sacrifices on your part, but your path is much longer than it appears to be at this moment. You have more stories to write, more adventures to go on, and a lifetime of memories to make. I do too, and sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

Trust ‘the pinch’. Feeling pinched by life does not mean you made the wrong choice, it just means you are due for a change. Whether you believe it in the moment or not, change is good for you, and if you continue to pour your heart into everything you do the changes in life will not stop you from becoming the person you aspire to be. Just believe in yourself and it will all work out in the end.

James Shotwell is the Director of Customer Engagement for Haulix. He is also a ten-year veteran of music journalism, host of the Inside Music podcast, and a frequent commentator on the future of the music business. You should follow him on Twitter if you enjoy business talk, cats, The Simpsons, and in-depth discussion of the latest Law & Order: SVU episodes.

#Music business #life #life advice #advice #careers #career advice #motivation

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Kidney Experts Say It’s Time to Remove Race From Medical Algorithms. Doing So Is Complicated.

Alphonso Harried recently came across a newspaper clipping about his grandfather receiving his 1,000th dialysis treatment. His grandfather later died — at a dialysis center — as did his uncle, both from kidney disease.

“And that comes in my mind, on my weak days: ‘Are you going to pass away just like they did?’” said Harried, 46, who also has the disease.

He doesn’t like to dwell on that. He has gigs to play as a musician, a ministry to run with his wife and kids to protect as a school security guard.

Yet he must juggle all that around three trips each week to a dialysis center in Alton, Illinois, about 20 miles from his home in St. Louis, to clean his blood of the impurities his kidneys can no longer flush out. He’s waiting for a transplant, just as his uncle did before him.

“It’s just frustrating,” Harried said. “I’m stuck in the same pattern.”

Thousands of other Americans with failing kidneys are also stuck, going to dialysis as they await new kidneys that may never come. That’s especially true of Black patients, like Harried, who are about four times as likely to have kidney failure as white Americans, and who make up more than 35% of people on dialysis but just 13% of the U.S. population. They’re also less likely to get on the waitlist for a kidney transplant, and less likely to receive a transplant once on the list.

An algorithm doctors use may help perpetuate such disparities. It uses race as a factor in evaluating all stages of kidney disease care: diagnosis, dialysis and transplantation.

It’s a simple metric that uses a blood test, plus the patient’s age and sex and whether they’re Black. It makes Black patients appear to have healthier kidneys than non-Black patients, even when their blood measurements are identical.

“It is as close to stereotyping a particular group of people as it can be,” said Dr. Rajnish Mehrotra, a nephrologist with the University of Washington School of Medicine.

This race coefficient has recently come under fire for being imprecise, leading to potentially worse outcomes for Black patients and less chance of receiving a new kidney. A national task force of kidney experts and patients is studying how to replace it. Some institutions have already stopped using it.

But how best to assess a patient’s kidney function remains uncertain, and some medical experts say fixing this equation is only one step in creating more equitable care, a process complicated by factors far deeper than a math problem.

“There are so many inequities in kidney disease that stem from broader structural racism,” said Dr. Deidra Crews, a nephrologist and the associate director for research development at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Equity. “It is just a sliver of what the broader set of issues are when it comes to both disparities and inequities in who gets kidney disease in the first place, and then in the care processes.”

Why Race Has Been Part of the Equation

Kidneys filter about 40 gallons of blood a day, like a Brita filter for the body. They keep in the good stuff and send out the bad through urine. But unlike other organs, kidneys don’t easily repair themselves.

“There’s a point of no return,” said Dr. Cynthia Delgado, a University of California-San Francisco nephrologist who is leading the task force working on the national recommendation to ditch the racial part of the equation.

Furthermore, it’s hard to gauge whether kidneys are working properly. Gold-standard tests involve a chemical infusion and hours of collecting blood and urine to see how quickly the kidneys flush the chemical out. An algorithm is much more efficient.

Buoyed by activism around structural racism, those seeking equity in health care have recently been calling out the algorithm as an example of the racism baked into American medicine. Researchers writing in the New England Journal of Medicine last year included kidney equations in a laundry list of race-adjusted algorithms used to evaluate parts of the body — from heart and lungs to bones and breasts. Such equations, they wrote, can “perpetuate or even amplify race-based health inequities.”

In March, ahead of the national task force’s upcoming formal recommendation, leaders in kidney care said race modifiers should be removed. And Fresenius Medical Care, one of the two largest U.S. dialysis companies, said the race component is “problematic.”

Until the late 1990s, doctors primarily used the Cockcroft-Gault equation. It didn’t ask for race, but used age, weight and the blood level of creatinine — a chemical that’s basically the trash left after muscles move. A high level of creatinine in the blood signals that kidneys are not doing their job of disposing of it. But the equation was based on a study of just 249 white men.

Then, researchers wrapping up a study on how to slow down kidney disease realized they were sitting on a mother lode of data that could rewrite that equation: gold-standard kidney function measurements from about 1,600 patients, 12% of whom were Black. They evaluated 16 variables, including age, sex, diabetes diagnosis and blood pressure.

They landed on something that accurately predicted the kidney function of patients better than the old equation. Except it made the kidneys of Black participants appear to be sicker than the gold-standard test showed they were.

The authors reasoned it might be caused by muscle mass. Participants with more muscle mass would likely have more creatinine in their blood, not because their kidneys were failing to remove it, but because they just had more muscles producing more waste. So they “corrected” Black patients’ results for that difference.

Dr. Andrew S. Levey, a professor at Tufts University School of Medicine who led the study, said it doesn’t make intuitive sense to include race — now widely considered a social construct — in an equation about biology.

Still, in 1999, he and others published the race equation, then updated it a decade later. Though other equations exist that don’t involve race, Levey’s latest version, often referred to as the “CKD-EPI” equation, is recommended for clinical use. It shows a Black patient’s kidneys functioning 16% better than those of a non-Black patient with the same blood work.

Removing the Race Number

Many patients don’t know about this equation and how their race has factored into their care.

“I really wish someone would have mentioned it,” Harried said.

He said it burned him up “knowing that this one little test that I didn’t know anything about could keep me from — or prolong me — getting a kidney.”

Glenda V. Roberts curbed her kidney disease with a vegan diet and by conducting meetings as an IT executive while walking. But after more than 40 years of slow decline, her kidney function finally reached the cutoff required to get on the transplant waitlist. When it did, the decline was swift — a pattern researchers have noted in Black patients. “It really makes you wonder what the benefit is of having an equation that will cause people who look like me — Black people — to get referrals later, to have to wait longer before you can get on the transplant list, but then have your disease progress more rapidly,” she said.

Roberts, who is now the director of external relations at the University of Washington’s Kidney Research Institute in Seattle and on the national task force, said a genetic test added to her feeling that a “Black/non-Black” option in an equation was a charade.

“In fact, I am not predominantly of African ancestry. I’m 25% Native American. I’m Swedish and English and French,” said Roberts. “But I am also 48% from countries that are on the continent of Africa.”

The Black/non-Black question also doesn’t make sense to Delgado, the University of California nephrologist. “I would probably for some people qualify as being non-Black,” said Delgado, who is Puerto Rican. “But for others, I would qualify as Black.”

So, theoretically, if Delgado were to visit two doctors on the same day, and they guessed her race instead of asking, she could come away with two different readings of how well her kidneys are working.

Researchers found that the race factor doesn’t work for Black Europeans or patients in West Africa. Australian researchers found using the race coefficient led them to overestimate the kidney function of Indigenous Australians.

But in the U.S., Levey and other researchers seeking to replace the race option with physical measurements, such as height and weight, hit a dead end.

To Crews, the Johns Hopkins nephrologist who is also on the national taskforce, the focus on one equation is myopic. The algorithm suggests that something about Black people’s bodies affects their kidneys. Crews thinks that’s the wrong approach to addressing disparities: The issue is not what’s unique about the inner workings of Black bodies, but instead what’s going on around them.

“I really wish we could measure that instead of using race as a variable in the estimating equations,” she said on the “Freely Filtered” podcast. “I don’t think it’s ancestry. I don’t think it’s muscle mass.”

It might not be that Black bodies are more likely to have more creatinine in the blood, but that Americans who experience housing insecurity and barriers to healthy food, quality medical care and timely referrals are more likely to have creatinine in their blood — and that many of them happen to be Black.

Systemic health disparities help explain why Black patients have unusually high rates of kidney failure, since communities of color have less access to regular primary care. One of the most serious consequences of poorly controlled diabetes and hypertension is failure of the organ.

Direct discrimination — intentional or not — from providers may also affect outcomes, said Roberts. She recalled a social worker categorizing her as unable to afford the post-transplant drugs required to keep a transplanted organ healthy, which could have delayed her getting a new organ. Roberts has held executive roles at several multimillion-dollar companies.

Delgado and Levey agree that removing race from the formula might feel better on the surface, but it isn’t clear the move would actually help people.

Studies recently published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology noted that removing the race factor could lead to some Black patients being disqualified from using beneficial medications because their kidneys might appear unable to handle them. It could also disqualify some Black people from donating a kidney.

“Fiddling with the algorithms is an imperfect way to achieve equity,” Levey said.

As researchers debate the math problem and broader societal ones, patients such as Harried, the St. Louis minister and security guard, are still stuck navigating dialysis.

“One of things that keeps me going is knowing that soon they may call me for a kidney,” Harried said.

He doesn’t know how long his name will be on the transplant waitlist — or whether the race coefficient has prolonged the wait — but he keeps a hospital bag under his bed to be ready.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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[rueur]

Morning Pages No. 56

Wednesday 19th August - 9:22am

I set my alarm to wake up at 6:30am and it didn’t take, because I was dumb enough to fall asleep at around 1. I was talking to Sam from the agency though, and we hadn’t spoken properly in a long while. His last message to me approached 500 words, and he made a comment on it basically being an outreach piece and said our response system was getting out of hand! But man, we had a lot to catch up on. He’s been telling me a little about his lockdown experience, and it seems pretty grim in comparison to mine, I mean aside from the fact that he’s still got a full-time job and multiple other noble commitments, whereas I made around $300 last week with my two shifts. I’m not enjoying making this little from my main source of income, especially after thinking about buying the house in Epping. I went on LinkedIn this morning and had a squiz at the jobs posted on there, but as usual, nothing seems entirely perfect. There was a job posted for a broadband company that isn’t Telstra, and that sounds pretty interesting. I feel like with my degree and my telco retail experience, I’d probably have a good chance of landing that? Maybe I should apply. I’m honestly not in too much of a rush to find something until after graduation. But considering how long this degree is taking me and how fed up I am with unimelb and this bogus fee they’re trying to charge me over my semester one class cancellation, I’m reconsidering just how much I need this degree anyway. My parents say that I’m this close, I might as well see it through. And I know they’re right. I just don’t like that they’re right! Usually I’m right!

It’s worth mentioning that I’m also struggling with getting through these pages today, and I say that only six minutes in, and half a page in. I don’t know, I just feel a bit fatigued today. It’s most likely the sleep. I’m not sure how to fix this aside from going to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. I’ll have to do that anyway in order to feel ready enough for work tomorrow. I should do some laundry...my jeans are in the wash. I mean, I have other jeans and I probably shouldn’t wear the jeans anyway, considering I’m just going to be sitting at a desk for four and a half hours now, and I don’t really need pockets for that. But I don’t know what else to wear, and jeans are a really easy decision to make. Maybe my black-and-white pinstripe pants. 

I want to be a little active today, I wasn’t that active yesterday...but I still have articles to write. I didn’t finish any of the three insider pieces I have to do, because I was only given access to the spreadsheet yesterday after asking Sam and asking Sam for access turned into a full-on all-day conversation with Sam. I was also on the phone to Sandy for 2 hours and 40 minutes yesterday. I just feel like I’ve been so goddamn busy all week. Sunday blurred into Monday and now Tuesday went by with little restraint, and now it’s Wednesday. And what have I made to show for all this work? $300. $80 from tuition. $60 that I still need to invoice Julie for. $270 for the entire MONTH from the agency. Let’s say that’s $70 a week. That means every week I’m supposed to make a combined income of approximately $460 without commission. That’s honestly not enough for the amount of time and effort I feel like I’m putting into things right now. What is taking up all my time? I honestly don’t know, but we’re in lockdown and I shouldn’t be feeling this tired. I just want to be appreciated and compensated for what I’m worth. Goodness. I feel like this is just a recurring theme in my life. I feel like I’ve outgrown school now, to be completely honest. I don’t want to wait until I’ve finished my degree to put myself out there. I’m ready now. Finishing my degree is just a formality at this point. The worst thing about waiting until after I finish the degree is honestly just the fact that I don’t know when the degree is going to end because I can’t fulfill the internship component nor even PLAN the internship component because we’re in a STAGE 4 LOCKDOWN. I feel like my future is being held for ransom, it’s hideous. It’s ACTUALLY being held for ransom because of unimelb’s dumbass fee. I am clearly not feeling good this morning. I hope the 21 Days has something planned that’ll turn this shit around, or I could at the very least do it myself. It’s wet outside, but I’ve been gearing to go for a bike ride. But riding in the rain has been a small source of anxiety since my accident where I lost my two front teeth. That was in April, 2017, a few months into my relationship with Evan. Evan was there. We spoke about it for the first time in a long time quite recently, I think during the first lockdown. I asked him if he thought in that instance when I was sitting with a bloody mouth on the side of the road, that he DEFINITELY couldn’t break up with me anytime soon because he’s fucked up my mouth. He laughed and said ‘yeah, actually’, which was honestly pretty cool. The fact that after all this time, I could ask a question that had a brutally honest answer and we could just laugh about it. We’re solid, I’ve always felt like we are. Even when we broke up for that one afternoon last year, when Dan was living with us.

I find myself writing most of this so that I have at least some recollection of it further down the line. I’ve realised that these pages have been valuable for me to read over, so I want to put stuff in them that ‘future me’ will find valuable. Like I think that I’m going to use all the stuff I wrote about Aaron and that weird coke night in Thornbury to finetune the short story based on that incident. It’s great to have the actual feelings of that night down in my own words. It feels like I can just go back to that night and have it be very real, and thus infinitely easier to write about.

Nicky just came back through the open front door a few minutes ago, so I’m just going to go check that he’s still in the house. It’s 9:43am, and I’m impatient to finish these pages off. I just have very real work to do and this feels like a bit of a distraction. I’m only two pages in ah!

Okay, I don’t think he’s still here, but Lonzo’s tucked right underneath the full doona next to me, so I’m feeling comforted by him and not too concerned that Nicky won’t return or that he’ll get hurt...or anything like that. Nicky’s had a few incidents over the past few years, but this system of letting him out first thing in the morning before he’s had breakfast does work! He runs out for a bit, spends a good twenty to thirty minutes exploring the outside world, and then he returns home promptly because he wants to be fed. Not only does he get to enjoy being outside at least once every day, but he gets to do so without wandering too far, and he also doesn’t feel inclined to go scrummaging for food through anybody’s bins because he knows there’s some actual food waiting for him at home. I feel pretty confident and settled in my cat ownership abilities, my abilities to be a cat owner. 

Finally I’m on the last page. This isn’t going too well today, I don’t know. My fingers are almost to a point where it gets difficult to type because of the cold. My circulation isn’t too great, my extremities get cold quite easily. It’s apparently supposed to be a female-body thing, a biological setting that helps protect our centres, our wombs. 2000 or so words a day is intense. Does this become a detrimental practice if the prose is too long? I’ve just been doing this the way I’ve always done it, and I kind of don’t want to change the practice three days into it. I might review the three page construct after the 21 Days are complete. It shouldn’t be too much of an issue, so long as we’re still in lockdown, and we’re most likely going to stay in lockdown until mid September, apparently. I have no issue with that either. I just heard Nicky, he’s still here. Evan just came out of the other room. I hope he feeds him right now. I think he’s going to. I’m just hearing out. He sighed. Nicky’s meowing. There’s a crinkling of plastic and a cupboard just closed. I don’t think he fed him. Nicky’s food is in a jar on top of the microwave. Should I call out ‘can you feed the cat and close the front door?’? I feel like I shouldn’t have to. Evan’s making himself breakfast. Oh god, if it rains some more today, my jeans just won’t be washed in time for me to wear them to work tomorrow. Or more aptly, they won’t be dry in time. 

I don’t know why, but my brain just naturally took me to this one time that a homeless man on Collins St outside Evan’s shop followed me until I gave him cash. I had to actually TAKE CASH OUT at a servo before he left me alone. That was an upsetting day. But it was raining and I was wearing a very big, thick coat from UNIQLO that ammi had given to me. It probably made me look wealthy, I guess. I mean aside from the fact that I’m a tiny, little, scruffy, brown person. I don’t understand how anybody could look at me and think that I have money. And in the grand scheme of things, I really don’t have money. But I have more than Evan, despite having a lot more debt too, thanks to tertiary study. Look, I can see I’m thinking about money a lot, despite making very little, but I think that’s the whole point. Money is security, and I deserve security. I’m working so hard to try and attain this sense of place and security. I reckon I’m ready to be a homeowner, all I need to do in order to reach this goal is to find a job that can provide for me. And even if I leave the store and find a professional gig, but then the professional gig goes belly-up because the economy is in the toilet, I still think I’ll be okay because the store will take me back. Maybe not as a salesperson again, I don’t know. But I’m convinced that I have family at that company, and so long as I have people there, I should be okay. It’s not like my last few jobs, where I quit and I knew I couldn’t go back. I have some pretty well-established connections now. It might be worth asking Sam if there’s anything for me to do at the agency...but I don’t want him to think I’m just talking to him to get a job. I actually love him. He’s a fantastic human being and we have a lot in common, and I want to meet him. I’ve always wanted to meet him, so much more than I want to talk to him over messenger or email. I have faith that that day will come, the day where we’ll finally be able to meet. I just thought it would be a lot sooner, that’s all. I thought a lot would be happening in 2020. I had high expectations. I think everyone did. I believe that fact has made this reality a lot harder for the western world. But then again, the western world has just got to suck it the fuck up. This isn’t hard.

#stream of consciousness #stream of conscience #morningpages #56 #sam #money #jobs #artistsway

[biofunmy]

Modern Black Friday Work Force: Postal Clerk, Influencer, Robot

A postal employee who processes one Amazon return after another. A part-time stockroom clerk who works spotty hours for minimum wage and no health benefits. A social media influencer who pitches products to her 83,000 Instagram followers. A robot that scans the shelves at Walmart.

Meet America’s retail work force in 2019. Nearly five million people are employed in traditional retail jobs. Many still work in stores, selling stuff, but the reality is that today’s retail industry is powered by a variety of staff employees, gig workers and artificial intelligence.

The changes reflect shifts in what shoppers want — lower prices and more convenience. Shopping, even in stores, now involves technology that is altering the way we interact with the sales staff. Here are six stories of modern-day retail work.

— The Luggage Salesman —

Sterling Lewis, Macy’s, Manhattan

There are not many retail workers left like Mr. Lewis. He started at Macy’s 37 years ago and he’s still selling luggage in the Herald Square store.

Retailing was not the career Mr. Lewis expected to pursue when he moved to Brooklyn from Trinidad at age 13. He attended college briefly, but dropped out when his son was born and he needed a job. He went to work in the Macy’s stockroom, racking up overtime to support his family. “You do what you have to do,” he said.

Today, Mr. Lewis earns about $70,000 a year, which includes wages and 2 percent commissions on each item he sells.

It can be tempting, he says, to immediately steer shoppers to a Tumi bag that costs $1,000, but that only leads to more returns. “I start low and come up,” he said. “I want the customer to say ‘show me something better.’”

Mr. Lewis, 63, met his wife while she was working in the shoe department. Together, the couple saved up enough money for a down payment on a house in Jackson Heights on a corner lot with a backyard big enough for three fig trees, a grape arbor and vegetable beds with sweet peppers, garlic, collard greens and strawberries.

Mr. Lewis wears a gold hoop earring in each ear and a blue lanyard around his neck to show off his membership in the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, which he credits with providing him and his colleagues with financial security.

Would he ever encourage his 3-year-old grandson to work in a store one day? “Hell no,” Mr. Lewis says. “You can’t grow in retail anymore.”

— The Robot —

Wall-E, Walmart, Phillipsburg, N.J.

Wall-E starts the day at 4 a.m., rolling through the aisles, scanning the shelves and looking for “outs” — any item that needs restocking.

The robot has a long white neck, bright spotlights and 15 cameras that snap thousands of photos, which are transmitted directly to its colleagues’ hand-held devices telling them exactly which shelves need restocking.

After it finishes scanning, Wall-E parks itself in a remote corner of the store, next to a bright blue sign that says “Our People Make the Difference,” and takes a “nap” to recharge its batteries.

Wall-E works two shifts, seven days a week, in the Walmart supercenter in Phillipsburg, a former railroad and industrial hub on the Delaware River.

Designed by the robotics company Bossa Nova, Wall-E is one of 350 robots at Walmart stores across the country. Their purpose is to free up employees to interact with customers or focus on other initiatives like Walmart’s push to deliver groceries to customers ordering online. This month, the store in Phillipsburg hired 22 employees and it is looking to hire 25 more.

Employees have embraced the robot, said Tom McGowan, the store manager, because it performs a tedious task no one likes — cataloging out-of-stock items. (Walmart allows store employees to name each robot. Wall-E wears a name badge like every other worker.)

Customers have different reactions: A few children have tried to ride the robots, while many adults ignore the devices and keep shopping. Some ask whether robots are taking jobs away from humans.

“I tell them ‘No, I actually have openings,’” Mr. McGowan said. “‘Would you like to apply?’”

—

The Stockroom Worker

Nevin Muni, T.J. Maxx, Queens

For Ms. Muni, life as a part-time worker in a stockroom in Astoria can be unpredictable.

Most weeks, Ms. Muni is scheduled to work either 12 or 16 hours, but she is often asked to come in on her days off. Ms. Muni, who earns the local minimum wage of $15 an hour, never turns down work. “I have to make ends meet,” she said. “Whatever job I find, I take.”

An immigrant from Turkey, Ms. Muni, 52, takes multiple train lines to reach the store, leaving her house in Elmhurst, Queens, and her husband, who is recovering from a stroke, before 6 a.m. Hoping to save money one recent month, Ms. Muni bought a 30-day MetroCard instead of paying for single rides. But she ended up losing money on the card because the extra shifts never materialized that month.

She has no health insurance, but manages to be resourceful. She recently had a cavity filled by dental students at New York University.

Ms. Muni moved to New York eight years ago and recently joined the Retail Action Project, a worker group and job training program affiliated with the retail employees union. She has degrees in media economics and human resources management from a university in Turkey. But those skills are not needed in the cramped, windowless stockroom on the third floor of the T.J. Maxx., behind the men’s underwear rack and the bin of Christmas-themed pillows.

Ms. Muni unpacks boxes from delivery trucks and arranges last season’s pajamas and dress shirts on hangers, for display in the store. Her co-workers in the stockroom include women from Peru, Ecuador, Morocco and the Dominican Republic.

“We laugh. We talk about family,” she said. “My job is hard, but I love these friends.”

—

The Postal Employee

—

Eric. C. Wilson, post office, Greenwich, Conn.

Mr. Wilson has watched the internet upend how Americans shop and communicate from a unique vantage point: the service window of the post office where he has worked for more than 30 years.

When Mr. Wilson, 58, started in the business, his job revolved around processing letters, cards and flat parcels. But those have fallen off in the age of email and text messages, he said. Now, his window is bustling with a specific type of package: returns of online purchases, which have become an enormous part of his days.

“We get hundreds and hundreds of those, especially this time of year,” Mr. Wilson, a father of two, said in a telephone interview as he drove to his home in Stamford, Conn.

The change is a side effect of the boom in online shopping, which results in far more returns than purchases made at brick-and-mortar stores. It has been a boon for post offices and employees like Mr. Wilson.

“At one time, they thought the internet was actually going to kill the Postal Service, but it’s been very helpful because of the way people order packages online now,” he said.

Mr. Wilson’s post office will operate four or five service windows — up from its typical two — between Thanksgiving weekend and Dec. 24, he said. Sending packages to Amazon is a shift from handling letters but Mr. Wilson is not sentimental about it.

“I don’t really miss it at all,” he said. “You just adjust to what the change is.”

—

The Influencer

—

While Ms. Johnson doesn’t technically work in retailing, she’s one of the many social media mavens who have become central to the industry by making product pitches to her roughly 83,000 Instagram followers and 355,000 YouTube subscribers.

Throughout November — which Ms. Johnson, 37, calls “Black Friday month” — she estimates that she will participate in about 20 sponsored campaigns, in which brands pay her for certain promotional posts. She also earns commissions from retailers like Best Buy and Target when her followers click on a link she provides and buy an item.

“At this point, what I’ve created has turned into a media and marketing company,” said Ms. Johnson, who lives outside Salt Lake City. “I’ve talked to multiple brands who said they don’t spend as much money on TV ads and have put it all into marketing with influencers or online marketing because they just get a bigger return.”

Ms. Johnson, whose posts sometimes feature her 10-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son, started blogging about bargains a decade ago on a site, now sold, called Freebies 2 Deals, as a way to work from home.

On Instagram, her calls to buy cardigans on Amazon and toys at Target are interspersed with date night selfies and relatable fare about parenting.

“The people who follow me or watch my stories feel like we’re best friends,” she said. When she recommends a great deal or product they love, “it builds another layer of trust.”

—

The Quasi-Fulfillment Worker

—

Sherika McGibbon, Zara, Manhattan

When Ms. McGibbon started working at Zara six years ago, customers seemed to have far more patience.

“Today many people are in a hurry,” Ms. McGibbon said. “They don’t take time to touch and feel the material. They just want to buy it and leave.”

Ms. McGibbon, who has worked all over the retail industry, including at the Gap and the now-defunct Daffy’s, attributes the change to online shopping, which prioritizes convenience over the experience.

E-commerce has also altered Ms. McGibbon’s daily routine and turned her Zara near Union Square into a miniature fulfillment center. Ms. McGibbon, who earns about $16 an hour, spends the first part of the morning on the sales floor interacting with customers. After lunch, she reports to the stockroom and packs FedEx boxes until her shift ends at 5 p.m. The delivery service picks up online orders twice a day.

Ms. McGibbon, 31, usually packs about 50 such orders a day. During the Black Friday weekend, her store expects to ship 2,000 orders.

A single mother raising a 12-year-old son, Ms. McGibbon says she still enjoys the challenge of helping customers put together an outfit. As a hobby, she advises friends and family how to dress. “Stylin’ by Sherika,” she calls her consultancy. She would like to turn it into a business someday.

“Retail is fast,” she said over the throbbing music at the Fifth Avenue store. “There is a lot of adrenaline. But if it ever gets slow, I got to go.”

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Its 11:15 pm dark

A little while ago I was lucky enough to have interview the fantastic artist Louie De Martinis whose drawings of The Shadow just blew my mind. Ever since that interview I have been looking for more artists to talk with but I found out that is easier said then done.    My old friends in the music business will get a laugh about how I met Meaghan C. Kehoe…I found her completely by accident. See,I have been a follower of a small art community center in Oshawa called The Living Room which was founded by the lovely Mary Krohnert for a couple of years now. Once in a while Mary will post on YouTube about community center and upcoming events.    When I saw the Taskmaster Art Challenge video which featured 5 very talented artists creating a project in just 5 minutes and then raffling it to raise money for the center,I knew I had found my next artist to chat with Meaghan.     But securing a interview with a very much in demand artist is no easy task either as Meaghan and I played email tag for while before she able to get a little time to answer her questions.    But the wait was so worth it because Meaghan is pretty damn amazing and I sure am blessed to landed this chance to ask her 8 Questions!!!

 Please introduce yourself and share a little of your background.

My name is Meaghan Claire Kehoe and I am a human, feminist, amateur environmentalist, and some would say artist. I’ve always been excited to create things- things that are visually appealing. From drawing pretty pictures when I was a kid and into my teen years, I started to ask myself where I wanted these pretty pictures to take me in life. I went to Sheridan for Illustration, but dropped out after a year and a half when I found I was bored by the direction the program took me in. After months of deliberation, I decided to go safe and do my undergrad in French at Laurier (choosing this university only because my younger sister was applying there for Business). It turns out I loved the structure of university. I loved the critical thinking of dissecting literature and I loved learning about different cultures across the globe. I took German and Italian as well and was hopeful for a future of globe trotting to fill my life with cross-cultural understanding and meaning. In third year, I was finally allowed to go abroad on exchange. I worked full time for a semester as a barista while on a full time course load and was able to afford one semester in France. I went to Tours (for no other reason than our schools had partnerships for course equivalence), and it was beautiful. A small University city overrun with mostly students, shops, cafes and cobblestone (and of course our late-night shawarma place for post-cheap-wine-and-cheese snacks. But it was a single evening that was pivotal in my life’s direction and probably the reason I am where I am. I had managed to get into a figure-drawing class (really had to fight for that one since it wasn’t a normal elective at Laurier) and I remember surprising my stereo-typically snooty french art prof with my skill in the class- he even stopped me after class to ask about my history in figure-drawing (which was an accumulation of Arts York HS and the stint at Sheridan). Anyway, the experience woke me up again. I felt alive. I remember after the class ended, it was already dark out- a late January evening- I literally skipped back to the cafe where I was to meet a friend. Rolled newsprint underarm, blackened charcoal fingers, and a silly grin, I felt weightless flying over the cobblestone. I knew then, or maybe in the days to follow, that it was time to take this thing seriously.

After 6 months travelling Europe, I returned to finish my final fourth year at Laurier and did so with honours, all the while setting myself up to begin the risky journey of being an entrepreneur and self-employed artist.

 What drew you to art? Was there a defining moment where you knew this is what you wanted to do?

My mum is an incredibly talented artist. When I was growing up, she went from working as a graphic designer for an agency to starting her own business from home so she could spend more time with us. She has always had an incredible eye for composition and a refreshing use of negative space. This seemed to alway translate to her paintings as well. She created gorgeous watercolours with expressive vibrancy, colour and edge. She was obviously a strong influence in my life and I followed in her footsteps though I did not always want to. I knew I had the natural passion and all the learned skill she’d taught me through the years, but I had watched her struggle with the classic entrepreneur hangups: getting clients to pay her, getting clients to respect her choices and knowledge and experience, and… getting clients. I didn’t think I was cut out for it. I was shy and insecure and I didn’t think I had anything original or meaningful to share with the world.

That moment in Tours, France on my exchange really helped me remember why I painted in the first place. It was enough to do it because it made ME happy. And if I couldn’t do that then what else was there?

 What are the pros and cons of getting a art education at a university or college? Some say a “formal” education restricts artistic freedom,how do you respond to that?

This one is tough for me to respond to since I never finished my post-secondary art program. All I have to say is that it is likely like any other program. It has to be the right one for you, but also there is no program out there that is going to satisfy your needs %100. It takes a lot of guts to go against the grain or the prof and take from the experience what you need as opposed to what is provided, but its worth it to do some digging and soul-searching to make sure you don’t conform for the sake of conforming. There are a lot of opinions out there about what constitutes “real” art, but they are all just that. Opinions.

 What does “mixed media” mean? 

Mixed media means you are no sticking to strictly one medium in your work. For example, you are not using just oil paint or just acrylic paint. There are some fantastic contemporary artists using mixtures of paints, pastels, papers, photography, and even found objects. (Anya Mielniczek is a great one for this- she’s a good friend of mine who is also an environmentalist and up-cycles trash to create beautiful works).

 What is your typical day like as an artist? How do you get your creative ideas?

I’d like to say my typical day is a romantic sepia-toned dreamy sequence of me in cute overalls with a smear of paint on my nose, a brush through my messy bun that I’ll continually be losing and looking for, and a giant canvas on my wall splattered in passionate marks that somehow emerges as a perfectly balanced masterpiece. And it is. Is the lie I’ll tell Spielberg when he interviews me for the biography he’ll shoot about me one day.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of stuff I have to do that sucks my soul (like in any job). I usually start with a to-do list, then emails, any phone calls I need to make to clients, sometimes brainstorming/conceptualizing/sketching designs for corporate murals, sometimes cleaning up the mess of spraypaints I’ve dumped in my studio the night before after a project. There’s taxes, invoices (which reminds me I still have a couple to do today), and walking my dog. I actually get a lot of my best ideas this way. A walk alone with my thoughts, 50 minutes or so, gets a great creative brain-flow going and puts me in a better mind set to get work done when I get back in the studio.

 What is your take on “art critics”? 

Well, I’ve never been critiqued by one yet- I suppose my work isnt legitimate enough for them. But thats the thing, isnt it? My art isnt for everyone. Nor should it be. Like I said, opinions are opinions.

 Do you ever go to museums or art galleries yourself? If so,do you look as a fan or an artist?

I do go to museums and art galleries, though I feel most compelled to visit them in Europe. They’ve put a lot more value into their arts and culture than we have in North America (as well as a longer and richer history) so there’s a lot more to see. Plus, they’re usually way cheaper or FREE! It’s like they actually want their citizens to appreciate art!

 What was your first drawing and what was the first piece that you sold?

I really couldn’t tell you what my first drawing was. My mom says I was drawing perfect circles before I could talk. But my first piece I sold was probably when I was 16. I was commissioned to create the cover of Salvation Army’s ‘Faith and Friends’ Christmas zine. Though my mom will tell you that I painted a piece in grade three that all the teachers tried to buy off her. She had it framed and it hung in our dining room for a couple decades.

You have done art in over 50 Starbucks in Canada,how did you get that gig and do you have complete freedom in what you paint?

I got the Starbucks gig through a connection (my sister’s friend’s then-boyfriend was an interior designer for Starbucks and looking for more muralists at the same time I had decided I wanted to get into large-scale wall-art). It was a match made in heaven. I honestly have never had so little control over my work than I did with Starbucks- they are very particular about their branding, but they were really professional and respectful and compensated me well. I had so many jobs with them over the span of a few years that I was able to do things like quit my part time job, buy a car and put money into savings. I owe them a lot.

 Are graffiti taggers artists or vandals?

Yeah this one is a tough one. I have to go with both. It’s funny because a certain few street or graff artists have become famous internationally (e.g. Basqiat and Banksy). Their work questioned societies norms in a way that was clever and beautiful and spoke to people. If that isn’t art, then I don’t know what is. But were they vandalizing property? Sure. But many graff artists would say that property is a societal construct and imposition that should be challenged. Personally, I can see it from both sides and its a constant dichotic conversation for me.  

   You do a LOT of charity work, what drives you to give your gift to others?   How did you get involved with Mary Krohnert and The Living Room?

I think one of the most universal human struggles is finding meaning in one’s life. That doesn’t change when you become an artist. In fact, it is only amplified. Everyone has their own gifts and talents and for me it is crucial to find out why I ended up with mine. The answer is that I still don’t know, but if I just keep helping out where I can, I’m sure I wont get further from answering that important question. Or maybe its just the childhood catholic school guilt… Who knows?!

My introduction to Mary from The Living Room was another serendipitous moment in my life. My partner and I moved to Oshawa two years ago and one day I was sitting on my porch and a pretty lady with a cute dog walked by. So I chased her down to meet her pup (a shy hound named Alice), and found  out they were my neighbours from a few doors down. Mary was really excited to find out I was an artist and the friendship bloomed from there. I really believe in what Mary is doing with The Living Room. Any way I can help out, like in the latest fundraiser event where I got to be a part of their very own ‘Task-Master’ episode (a spin off form a British series), is the least I can do.

What is a art battle?

Art Battle is an event that was started around 8 years ago by two guys, Chris and Simon, that began with a competition of two artists painting live and being judged by audience vote and has evolved into a world-wide organization with monthly contests all around the globe between 16 artists at a time. There are three rounds: 1) 8 artists paint for 20 minutes; 2) another 8 artists paint for 20 minutes; 3) the top two painters from each round voted by the audience paint a new painting for 20 minutes and the audience votes for the final winner. There’s a DJ, a bar and a lot of excitement. The winner goes onto the regional competition and the winner of that goes onto the Nationals. I’ve won the Toronto regionals twice in the couple years I painted at art battle only to be beat out at Nationals twice.

 The cheetah and I are coming to see a exhibit of your latest work but we are a day early and now you are our tour guide,what are we doing?

Oh my goodness! Okay! Well we’d have to go the the Robert McLaughlin Gallery for sure. If it was the first Friday of the month, I’d take ya to the RMG fridays event where they also feature some local live music. That would be after grabbing dinner at Spicy Affairs (my favourite Indian restaurant in Durham and its right near my house). Before that might be an afternoon at the Botanical Gardens. Oshawa Creek runs through there and in the right season you can see the salmon racing upstream to spawn. They’re huge! Theyve also got cool sculptures and some playgrounds for the kids around there. Before that we would go to Isabella’s for coffee and snacks or to Berry Hill for brunch/lunch. And at the end of the whole night, we would end up at Riley’s for a pint and a couple rounds of pool.

 THE END.

I like to thank Meaghan for chatting with me. I think you have a true gift and that you share it with the world is tremendous. You are definitely doing what you were meant to do here,never doubt that for a second.

You can follow the wonderful Meaghan Claire Kehoe by visiting and bookmarking it by going to her website here.

Thank you for your continued support and I hope you enjoy these interviews as much as I do. I have many more in the pipeline that I think you’ll really enjoy.

Feel free to leave a comment below and I’ll make sure to pass it on to Meaghan.

8 Questions with…………..artist Meaghan Claire Kehoe Its 11:15 pm dark A little while ago I was lucky enough to have interview the fantastic artist Louie De Martinis whose drawings of The Shadow just blew my mind.

#8 Questions With #art #artist #artistic #Canada #gifted #Life #Meaghan Claire Kehoe #Oshawa-Canada #painting #talented #The Living Room #volunteering

[mnmiyukiko18-blog]

(This can be a private publish so if that isn’t your factor then it is best to move on.)

2017 was lots like 2016, but on steroids. That meant a 40% improve in the enterprise, which sadly came with much more stress and angst. I did figure some things out and managed to make some selections that I plan to place into apply in 2018.

Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Last yr I was lastly snug calling Blind 5 Yr Previous a hit. I’d made it. But that got here with a number of unusual baggage that I wasn’t totally positive the right way to deal with.

It was uncomfortable to put in writing about how success may be troublesome when you realize that others are struggling. But I can solely write about my own experience and acknowledge that some would take my words the flawed method.

Trust me, I perceive that these are good problems. But they’re issues nonetheless. In 2017 those problems grew. The very healthy revenue I had maintained for the past 4 years rose by 40%.

I stared at the run price all year long type of dumbfounded. For actual? That a lot! It’s not that I lacked confidence and didn’t assume I’d make it. The number was just past what I anticipated.

Cash and Happiness

Cash is a wierd beast. One among my favourite items final yr was When life changing cash, isn’t by Wil Reynolds. He captured a substantial amount of what I’ve struggled with over the past few years.

I’m at a spot the place bills aren’t an issue and I can primarily do what I need to do. My daughter needs a brand new tennis racquet, I buy one. Ought to we exit for dinner tonight? Why not. Need to vacation on the seashore in Maui? E-book it!

The power to do this stuff makes me very totally different from a majority of individuals and that scares me.

The factor is, I don’t want an entire lot extra. I’m not trying to get a better house or a greater automotive. I don’t have a need to purchase crazy costly clothes. Hell, I spend most of my days in sweats behind this pc.

Extra money isn’t inherently dangerous. I imply, I do stay in some of the costly areas in the country and I am all about putting more in the direction of retirement and school. However both of those at the moment are on monitor so the additional cash doesn’t truly do that rather more.

Extra money hasn’t made me happier.

Time and Stress

The additional work created a lot more strain. There’s less time and extra expectations. That mixture doesn’t translate into more happiness. Under no circumstances.

It’d if I simply needed to coast on fame and churn out regardless of the minimal quantity that was required to maintain the cash rolling in. However I’m not wired like that.

I’m not trying to mollify and appease, I’m trying to rework and build. Each shopper is totally different and requires research and due diligence to find out the best way to greatest deal with their search and enterprise points.

I really feel the obligation of being a great associate and in delivering outcomes. I don’t like cashing checks when a shopper’s business isn’t shifting in the appropriate course.

Communication

I find it onerous to respond shortly to something I consider requires larger thought. Meaning I’m sluggish and often don’t communicate nicely. I’ve come to the conclusion that this can be a function and not a bug.

Can I get higher at telling individuals when I’m taking more time than they need? Yes. But I comprehend it gained’t go away utterly. I’ll typically slip right into a cycle of not responding and then pushing aside responding till I have one thing more materials and when I don’t the guilt increases and the response then have to be that a lot better so I delay … once more.

I do this much less now than I used to. But I comprehend it’ll still happen occasionally and I’m uninterested in feeling dangerous about that. Some shoppers simply aren’t a match for my work type. And that’s okay.

Referrals and Aid

Much of what I describe above is why I continue to obtain referrals. Good work gets observed and in an business rife with pretenders individuals happily promote those who really get the work finished.

I love referrals. However additionally they come loaded with further stress. Because you don’t need to let the individual referring you down. It’s not misplaced on me that they have sufficient confidence in me to belief them with one among their very own connections.

What I’ve discovered in the last yr is that more of these individuals perceive the bind I’m in. I have solely a lot time and I’m not all the time the suitable individual for a business. I specialize in giant scale B2C sites like Pinterest and Genius. It’s not that I can’t do B2B. I simply don’t take pleasure in it as much.

In order that they inform me up entrance that it won’t be a match or they could even ask if further referrals are serving to me or not. I inform you, it’s an unimaginable aid when referrals are put in this context.

I often still take these calls although. I discovered that just having a conversation with a referred lead is effective. I don’t need to be the solution. I might help decide what they actually need and may typically join them with colleagues who I trust will do a very good job on their behalf.

I grow to be a link on a sequence of expertise and belief. This can be a highly beneficial and scarce commodity.

Professional or Prima Donna

The crux for me was in understanding my value. Not solely understanding it however believing in it. Do I deserve that lawyer-like hourly price? I don’t do lots of hourly work now but I find it a great way to help extra people without the overhead of stress.

Legal professionals have an outlined set of experience that many others don’t. Hopefully additionally they have a monitor document of success. So how does that examine to my enterprise? The regulation is relatively secure and transparent. However search is the other. It modifications and it isn’t clear in the slightest.

In fact two legal professionals can interpret the regulation in a different way, simply as two SEOs can interpret search in another way. But extra so at this time than ever, the ignorance in our business – or pure disinformation – places a premium on connecting with true specialists.

It’s not just discovering somebody who will help you figure out your search points. It’s stopping them from following dangerous advice and throwing good money after dangerous.

My default is to say that I’m fortunate to be in a position the place I have extra business than I can deal with. However it’s not likely luck. I put in the time and I get the outcomes. I work arduous and am always trying to hold my edge. What is it that I’m not seeing?

I use this as context to elucidate why I’m not prepared to relinquish my work type. And I’m making an attempt to acknowledge that it doesn’t make me a prima donna. It simply acknowledges that I’m an skilled in my area and that I need to be glad.

It’s uncomfortable to cost a high price and dictate particular terms of engagement. It’s like the Van Halen rider the place they demanded M&Ms however no brown ones. I guess you are able to do worse than being the search equal of David Lee Roth. Notably if you understand the historical past around that famous rider.

Letting Angst Go

2017 was about embracing my worth and believing in my experience. It was about letting my own misgivings and angst go so that I can do the work I take pleasure in and be completely satisfied doing it.

Perhaps this sounds straightforward to some. Nevertheless it hasn’t come easily for me. Whereas I don’t achieve validation from others, I don’t need to be a type of people who are out of contact and troublesome to work with.

I absolutely dropped the ball on some leads and a few shoppers in 2017. Never to the point the place it harm their business. But individuals have been irritated. I am really sorry for that however … I not feel (overly) responsible about it.

I needed to do the most effective work. I took on an excessive amount of. I tried my greatest. I’ll get up and check out my greatest tomorrow.

I’ve discovered to say no more typically and not really feel responsible about it or feel prefer it’s a missed opportunity. I’m not trying to build an company and scale up. I’m a high-touch marketing consultant with restricted time constraints.

Raising Charges and Changing Retainers

Based mostly on this I raised my charges. It’s the second time I’ve completed that in the last three years. And I did it as a result of one in every of my shoppers informed me I ought to. It’s good when shoppers are searching for you as much as you’re for them.

I additionally determined to take away the hourly most in my retainer agreements. Up to now, I had a clause that primarily ensured that a shopper wouldn’t monopolize my time beneath a retainer settlement. I built in a hourly most simply in case.

The problem was that by having that hourly maximum they have been all the time considering of the retainer in phrases of the variety of hours worked. That wasn’t what I was about. It isn’t about time. It’s about experience and outcomes.

This video on How To Worth Design Providers spoke to me so clearly.

I didn’t watch your complete video. I imply, who has 36 minutes! However that one phase was sufficient for me to know that it wasn’t the hours individuals must be paying for however the expertise.

This made an enormous difference because I not have dreary conversations about whether I devoted enough hours to help the retainer. I hate those conversations. They make me indignant. So now I don’t have them.

Advisor Gigs

I also sought out extra advisor positions in 2017. I didn’t quite nail down easy methods to greatest structure these engagements. And I did a awful job of juggling those relationships versus my conventional relationships.

But that’s how you work these things out. You stub your toe and transfer on making an attempt to not make those same errors again. 2018 already appears good on this entrance with quite a lot of fascinating relationships where I can leverage my experience in search and advertising.

I constructed most of my long term shopper relationships on trust and including business value beyond conventional search. And while I might take advising positions based mostly on my main experience I’m in search of people who value my bigger information set and insight from scores of shoppers over the previous ten years.

I’ve discovered quite a bit about what makes one start-up succeed the place others fail.

Continuous Schooling

Change is all the time a continuing in search. And I’d say that the speed of change is growing. I’m lucky to work with some unimaginable technical groups. So once they say something I don’t fairly understand I don’t just nod alongside.

I ask them to elucidate it. I tell individuals when I don’t know one thing. I’ll tell individuals I know sufficient to know something is off however not sufficient to inform them precisely what’s mistaken. This is the way you build experience and achieve belief.

And in 2018 I’ve requested a number of builders I belief to take an afternoon to speak to me like a five yr previous about JavaScript frameworks and how they deliver content to the page. Now, I understand the subject. However I need to study more.

One among my belongings has been to have sufficient technical information to know when someone is blowing smoke up my nether regions. A variety of what I ask individuals to do (instrumentation) is boring. As such, many builders inflate the complexity of these tasks. Asking a number of pointed questions shortly reduces that inflation and will get the work achieved.

I don’t feel like I have that degree of confidence on JavaScript frameworks. I can inform half of the builders I work with have an analogous degree of data to my very own. And when a developer admits as a lot we will simply collaborate, debate troublesome questions and figure issues out. However many developers aren’t going to confess to ‘good enough’ information.

Studying more is all the time a priority.

Outsourcing

Then again, I can’t do every part. I typically need to but there’s simply not enough time in the day. This weblog wants a makeover and I’ll should get another person to do it. I need to let my tinkering ways go so I can develop and give attention to different tasks.

And there are different tasks in the works. Prior to now I’ve had concepts, purchased domains and considered constructing one factor or one other. Nice ideas! However they never went anyplace. A continuing movement of renewing domain e-mail notices remind me of the missed alternatives.

The most important obstacle in these tasks was … me. I needed to do all of it. I needed to build the precise website, which could require studying a brand new programming and database language. After which I’d want to truly write all the content material after which do all the advertising and promotion.

Ain’t no one acquired time for that.

Properly, perhaps some individuals do however I’m not one among them. Regardless that I might, and part of me thinks it might be fun if I did, I shouldn’t spend my time that approach. So I’m working with people to spin up two sites and one potential device.

Danger and Danger

I anticipate that it is going to be troublesome for me to let go of some particulars. I’m guessing the tasks can be messy, complicated, aggravating and hopefully rewarding in by some means. But truthfully, there are specific lyrics from Contrails by Astronautalis that remain my guiding star.

The actual danger isn’t a slipped grip at the fringe of the height The actual danger is simply to linger at the base of the factor

Every time I take a danger I am comfortable I did so. I can’t inform you that it all the time labored out. However in some methods … it did, with enough time and perspective.

In each failure, I can select how that helped get me to the place I am in the present day. I’m not saying things couldn’t have been simpler. They might have. I simply determine to seek out the constructive out of those conditions.

That’s not some saccharine ‘everything happens for a reason’ tripe. Screw that. I can just tell a story the place the ending is … pleased. I have most cancers however it’s one which’s simply treatable. That’s a win in my guide.

Telling myself these stories and deciding that I’d quite dwell on what turned out proper as an alternative of flawed helps me take the subsequent danger. It’s my job to take heed to that stressed itch and move my story ahead figuring out I might have to do some modifying in submit production.

Observations

There have been loads of business modifications final yr that had a meaningful influence on my business. I made a decision to criticize less so I wavered in adding these observations because they’re not notably rosy.

However the following issues formed my yr from how I strategy search evaluation, to how I achieve further information to how I educate shoppers.

The Google we knew is just not the Google we’re coping with in the present day

I’ve been lucky to satisfy and speak with various Googlers all through the years. They’re overwhelmingly good individuals making an attempt to do the best factor by customers. The power and keenness they’ve around search is … inspiring.

But Matt Cutts left and Amit Singhal was replaced by John Giannandrea as the top of search. That doesn’t appear to be quite a bit. But for those who put your ear to the tracks and skim the tea leaves you acknowledge that this was an enormous change in path for Google.

Machine studying is front and middle and it’s a vital a part of Google’s algorithm.

It’s not that good, passionate individuals aren’t nonetheless at Google. They are. However the setting is definitely totally different. We’re talking about individuals, specialists in their subject, given new course from a brand new boss. How do you assume you’d feel?

I consider understanding the people who work on search is an asset to understanding search. That’s extra true immediately than ever.

Business Content Is Lacking

I wrestle to seek out good content to learn nowadays. We lost our greatest investigative journalist last yr along with one other passionate and sensible editor. Danny Sullivan and Matt McGee are sorely missed.

I used to take great satisfaction in curating the business and Tweeting out the most effective I might find every day. It was a gentle stream of 2 or three Tweets a day. Now … it’s perhaps twice every week. Perhaps I’m just over-the-hill and not finding the brand new voices? Perhaps I’m not dedicating sufficient time to combing Feedly?

But I’m discouraged when I open up a prime tendencies of 2018 publish (which I know is a mistake) and see ‘water is wet’ statements like ‘featured snippets will be important’ and ‘voice search is on the rise’.

As an alternative of bemoaning the dangerous, I want to point out people like Paul Shapiro for nice technical content and Cyrus Shepard who appears to have taken up the mantle of curating our business. There are other nice specialists like Bill Slawski and Bartosz Goralweicz on the market contributing however … there are too few of them for my taste.

And there are others who clearly have information but aren’t sharing proper now. I’m not going to name them out. Hell, I’d be calling myself out too. I assume they’re all busy with work and life. Being business well-known doesn’t make their lives better. The truth is, it causes extra problems. I get it, however I wish we all had extra time to move the conversation forward.

Extra knowledge isn’t the problem, it’s the shortage of interpretation and evaluation.

The conversations I see occurring in the business are often masturbatory and ego driven. Somebody needs to be right and someone needs to be incorrect. Actual debate and true exploration look like an endangered species.

As an example, figuring out that Google is relying closely on machine studying, shouldn’t the business be taking a look at analyzing algorithmic modifications in a unique approach.

Right now, modifications in rank are typically tied to an update in the mapping of vectors to intent that renders a special mix of content on outcomes. One can watch over many months as they check, study and adapt on query courses in pursuit of optimal time to lengthy click metrics.

I find the calcification of search fact to be harmful given the speed of modifications inherent in our vertical. On the similar time, the most recent things don’t substitute the tried and true. It’s these contradictions that make our business fascinating!

Past that, many are working off of a very restricted knowledge set. The truth that one thing labored for you on the one website that you simply tried it on won’t mean much. In fact, we’ve also seen individuals with a lot bigger knowledge units make errors in interpretation.

And that’s where things seem to have gone off the tracks. I don’t mind correlation studies. They provide another level of knowledge for me to think about amongst numerous other knowledge factors. I assign the findings from each correlation research a weight based mostly on all of my other information.

That signifies that some will receive little or no weight and others extra based mostly on my understanding of how they have been carried out and what I see in apply across my shopper base. We don’t need much less knowledge, much less content or fewer techniques. We have to higher perceive the worth of every and the way they mix to assist achieve search success.

In consequence I see much more appetite for hiring progress engineers over SEOs largely as a result of they’re prepared to check and adapt as an alternative of proselytize.

The Issues That Matter

I’m most cancers free! It’s been almost three years now. And in 2017 I couldn’t use recovery as an excuse for my eating habits. So I misplaced 25 kilos.

For those , there’s no actual magic to dropping pounds. Journal your food and take in fewer calories than you burn. It’s not all the time enjoyable or straightforward however it works.

I gained 10 of that back in the previous few months of the yr. This was partly because I lost my tennis partners, which meant no calorie burning exercise cushion that allowed me a number of days of indulgence each week.

Fortunately, my daughter is now lastly getting back to tennis after bodily remedy for a patellar subluxation, which is a dislocation of the kneecap. Her second in two years.

It turns out her thigh bone doesn’t have as deep a divot for her kneecap. It’s almost flat, which suggests she’s vulnerable to dislocations. The orthopedist talked about that this additionally meant that when it did slip out it wouldn’t harm almost as much. Seems I’m not the one one who can inform a narrative that depends on the constructive versus the destructive. #callback

My wife, then again, has tennis elbow, which is way extra painful than she or I realized. She’ll be present process a process soon in hopes that it helps her tendon to bounce again and heal absolutely.

Things are literally fairly good regardless of all this and the fact that my daughter is a youngster (yikes) and my wife just had sinus surgical procedure. I’m around and I’m happier, which I hope is as infectious as this yr’s flu.

Postscript: Depart A Remark // Subscribe (RSS Feed)

The Next Publish: Monitoring Hidden Long-Tail Search Visitors The Earlier Submit: Google Index Protection Report

The post What I Learned in 2017 appeared first on Tactics Socks.

#Blog #Career #Life #SEO

[icon-devcodapage]

(This can be a private publish so if that isn’t your factor then it is best to move on.)

2017 was lots like 2016, but on steroids. That meant a 40% improve in the enterprise, which sadly came with much more stress and angst. I did figure some things out and managed to make some selections that I plan to place into apply in 2018.

Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Last yr I was lastly snug calling Blind 5 Yr Previous a hit. I’d made it. But that got here with a number of unusual baggage that I wasn’t totally positive the right way to deal with.

It was uncomfortable to put in writing about how success may be troublesome when you realize that others are struggling. But I can solely write about my own experience and acknowledge that some would take my words the flawed method.

Trust me, I perceive that these are good problems. But they’re issues nonetheless. In 2017 those problems grew. The very healthy revenue I had maintained for the past 4 years rose by 40%.

I stared at the run price all year long type of dumbfounded. For actual? That a lot! It’s not that I lacked confidence and didn’t assume I’d make it. The number was just past what I anticipated.

Cash and Happiness

Cash is a wierd beast. One among my favourite items final yr was When life changing cash, isn’t by Wil Reynolds. He captured a substantial amount of what I’ve struggled with over the past few years.

I’m at a spot the place bills aren’t an issue and I can primarily do what I need to do. My daughter needs a brand new tennis racquet, I buy one. Ought to we exit for dinner tonight? Why not. Need to vacation on the seashore in Maui? E-book it!

The power to do this stuff makes me very totally different from a majority of individuals and that scares me.

The factor is, I don’t want an entire lot extra. I’m not trying to get a better house or a greater automotive. I don’t have a need to purchase crazy costly clothes. Hell, I spend most of my days in sweats behind this pc.

Extra money isn’t inherently dangerous. I imply, I do stay in some of the costly areas in the country and I am all about putting more in the direction of retirement and school. However both of those at the moment are on monitor so the additional cash doesn’t truly do that rather more.

Extra money hasn’t made me happier.

Time and Stress

The additional work created a lot more strain. There’s less time and extra expectations. That mixture doesn’t translate into more happiness. Under no circumstances.

It’d if I simply needed to coast on fame and churn out regardless of the minimal quantity that was required to maintain the cash rolling in. However I’m not wired like that.

I’m not trying to mollify and appease, I’m trying to rework and build. Each shopper is totally different and requires research and due diligence to find out the best way to greatest deal with their search and enterprise points.

I really feel the obligation of being a great associate and in delivering outcomes. I don’t like cashing checks when a shopper’s business isn’t shifting in the appropriate course.

Communication

I find it onerous to respond shortly to something I consider requires larger thought. Meaning I’m sluggish and often don’t communicate nicely. I’ve come to the conclusion that this can be a function and not a bug.

Can I get higher at telling individuals when I’m taking more time than they need? Yes. But I comprehend it gained’t go away utterly. I’ll typically slip right into a cycle of not responding and then pushing aside responding till I have one thing more materials and when I don’t the guilt increases and the response then have to be that a lot better so I delay … once more.

I do this much less now than I used to. But I comprehend it’ll still happen occasionally and I’m uninterested in feeling dangerous about that. Some shoppers simply aren’t a match for my work type. And that’s okay.

Referrals and Aid

Much of what I describe above is why I continue to obtain referrals. Good work gets observed and in an business rife with pretenders individuals happily promote those who really get the work finished.

I love referrals. However additionally they come loaded with further stress. Because you don’t need to let the individual referring you down. It’s not misplaced on me that they have sufficient confidence in me to belief them with one among their very own connections.

What I’ve discovered in the last yr is that more of these individuals perceive the bind I’m in. I have solely a lot time and I’m not all the time the suitable individual for a business. I specialize in giant scale B2C sites like Pinterest and Genius. It’s not that I can’t do B2B. I simply don’t take pleasure in it as much.

In order that they inform me up entrance that it won’t be a match or they could even ask if further referrals are serving to me or not. I inform you, it’s an unimaginable aid when referrals are put in this context.

I often still take these calls although. I discovered that just having a conversation with a referred lead is effective. I don’t need to be the solution. I might help decide what they actually need and may typically join them with colleagues who I trust will do a very good job on their behalf.

I grow to be a link on a sequence of expertise and belief. This can be a highly beneficial and scarce commodity.

Professional or Prima Donna

The crux for me was in understanding my value. Not solely understanding it however believing in it. Do I deserve that lawyer-like hourly price? I don’t do lots of hourly work now but I find it a great way to help extra people without the overhead of stress.

Legal professionals have an outlined set of experience that many others don’t. Hopefully additionally they have a monitor document of success. So how does that examine to my enterprise? The regulation is relatively secure and transparent. However search is the other. It modifications and it isn’t clear in the slightest.

In fact two legal professionals can interpret the regulation in a different way, simply as two SEOs can interpret search in another way. But extra so at this time than ever, the ignorance in our business – or pure disinformation – places a premium on connecting with true specialists.

It’s not just discovering somebody who will help you figure out your search points. It’s stopping them from following dangerous advice and throwing good money after dangerous.

My default is to say that I’m fortunate to be in a position the place I have extra business than I can deal with. However it’s not likely luck. I put in the time and I get the outcomes. I work arduous and am always trying to hold my edge. What is it that I’m not seeing?

I use this as context to elucidate why I’m not prepared to relinquish my work type. And I’m making an attempt to acknowledge that it doesn’t make me a prima donna. It simply acknowledges that I’m an skilled in my area and that I need to be glad.

It’s uncomfortable to cost a high price and dictate particular terms of engagement. It’s like the Van Halen rider the place they demanded M&Ms however no brown ones. I guess you are able to do worse than being the search equal of David Lee Roth. Notably if you understand the historical past around that famous rider.

Letting Angst Go

2017 was about embracing my worth and believing in my experience. It was about letting my own misgivings and angst go so that I can do the work I take pleasure in and be completely satisfied doing it.

Perhaps this sounds straightforward to some. Nevertheless it hasn’t come easily for me. Whereas I don’t achieve validation from others, I don’t need to be a type of people who are out of contact and troublesome to work with.

I absolutely dropped the ball on some leads and a few shoppers in 2017. Never to the point the place it harm their business. But individuals have been irritated. I am really sorry for that however … I not feel (overly) responsible about it.

I needed to do the most effective work. I took on an excessive amount of. I tried my greatest. I’ll get up and check out my greatest tomorrow.

I’ve discovered to say no more typically and not really feel responsible about it or feel prefer it’s a missed opportunity. I’m not trying to build an company and scale up. I’m a high-touch marketing consultant with restricted time constraints.

Raising Charges and Changing Retainers

Based mostly on this I raised my charges. It’s the second time I’ve completed that in the last three years. And I did it as a result of one in every of my shoppers informed me I ought to. It’s good when shoppers are searching for you as much as you’re for them.

I additionally determined to take away the hourly most in my retainer agreements. Up to now, I had a clause that primarily ensured that a shopper wouldn’t monopolize my time beneath a retainer settlement. I built in a hourly most simply in case.

The problem was that by having that hourly maximum they have been all the time considering of the retainer in phrases of the variety of hours worked. That wasn’t what I was about. It isn’t about time. It’s about experience and outcomes.

This video on How To Worth Design Providers spoke to me so clearly.

I didn’t watch your complete video. I imply, who has 36 minutes! However that one phase was sufficient for me to know that it wasn’t the hours individuals must be paying for however the expertise.

This made an enormous difference because I not have dreary conversations about whether I devoted enough hours to help the retainer. I hate those conversations. They make me indignant. So now I don’t have them.

Advisor Gigs

I also sought out extra advisor positions in 2017. I didn’t quite nail down easy methods to greatest structure these engagements. And I did a awful job of juggling those relationships versus my conventional relationships.

But that’s how you work these things out. You stub your toe and transfer on making an attempt to not make those same errors again. 2018 already appears good on this entrance with quite a lot of fascinating relationships where I can leverage my experience in search and advertising.

I constructed most of my long term shopper relationships on trust and including business value beyond conventional search. And while I might take advising positions based mostly on my main experience I’m in search of people who value my bigger information set and insight from scores of shoppers over the previous ten years.

I’ve discovered quite a bit about what makes one start-up succeed the place others fail.

Continuous Schooling

Change is all the time a continuing in search. And I’d say that the speed of change is growing. I’m lucky to work with some unimaginable technical groups. So once they say something I don’t fairly understand I don’t just nod alongside.

I ask them to elucidate it. I tell individuals when I don’t know one thing. I’ll tell individuals I know sufficient to know something is off however not sufficient to inform them precisely what’s mistaken. This is the way you build experience and achieve belief.

And in 2018 I’ve requested a number of builders I belief to take an afternoon to speak to me like a five yr previous about JavaScript frameworks and how they deliver content to the page. Now, I understand the subject. However I need to study more.

One among my belongings has been to have sufficient technical information to know when someone is blowing smoke up my nether regions. A variety of what I ask individuals to do (instrumentation) is boring. As such, many builders inflate the complexity of these tasks. Asking a number of pointed questions shortly reduces that inflation and will get the work achieved.

I don’t feel like I have that degree of confidence on JavaScript frameworks. I can inform half of the builders I work with have an analogous degree of data to my very own. And when a developer admits as a lot we will simply collaborate, debate troublesome questions and figure issues out. However many developers aren’t going to confess to ‘good enough’ information.

Studying more is all the time a priority.

Outsourcing

Then again, I can’t do every part. I typically need to but there’s simply not enough time in the day. This weblog wants a makeover and I’ll should get another person to do it. I need to let my tinkering ways go so I can develop and give attention to different tasks.

And there are different tasks in the works. Prior to now I’ve had concepts, purchased domains and considered constructing one factor or one other. Nice ideas! However they never went anyplace. A continuing movement of renewing domain e-mail notices remind me of the missed alternatives.

The most important obstacle in these tasks was … me. I needed to do all of it. I needed to build the precise website, which could require studying a brand new programming and database language. After which I’d want to truly write all the content material after which do all the advertising and promotion.

Ain’t no one acquired time for that.

Properly, perhaps some individuals do however I’m not one among them. Regardless that I might, and part of me thinks it might be fun if I did, I shouldn’t spend my time that approach. So I’m working with people to spin up two sites and one potential device.

Danger and Danger

I anticipate that it is going to be troublesome for me to let go of some particulars. I’m guessing the tasks can be messy, complicated, aggravating and hopefully rewarding in by some means. But truthfully, there are specific lyrics from Contrails by Astronautalis that remain my guiding star.

The actual danger isn’t a slipped grip at the fringe of the height The actual danger is simply to linger at the base of the factor

Every time I take a danger I am comfortable I did so. I can’t inform you that it all the time labored out. However in some methods … it did, with enough time and perspective.

In each failure, I can select how that helped get me to the place I am in the present day. I’m not saying things couldn’t have been simpler. They might have. I simply determine to seek out the constructive out of those conditions.

That’s not some saccharine ‘everything happens for a reason’ tripe. Screw that. I can just tell a story the place the ending is … pleased. I have most cancers however it’s one which’s simply treatable. That’s a win in my guide.

Telling myself these stories and deciding that I’d quite dwell on what turned out proper as an alternative of flawed helps me take the subsequent danger. It’s my job to take heed to that stressed itch and move my story ahead figuring out I might have to do some modifying in submit production.

Observations

There have been loads of business modifications final yr that had a meaningful influence on my business. I made a decision to criticize less so I wavered in adding these observations because they’re not notably rosy.

However the following issues formed my yr from how I strategy search evaluation, to how I achieve further information to how I educate shoppers.

The Google we knew is just not the Google we’re coping with in the present day

I’ve been lucky to satisfy and speak with various Googlers all through the years. They’re overwhelmingly good individuals making an attempt to do the best factor by customers. The power and keenness they’ve around search is … inspiring.

But Matt Cutts left and Amit Singhal was replaced by John Giannandrea as the top of search. That doesn’t appear to be quite a bit. But for those who put your ear to the tracks and skim the tea leaves you acknowledge that this was an enormous change in path for Google.

Machine studying is front and middle and it’s a vital a part of Google’s algorithm.

It’s not that good, passionate individuals aren’t nonetheless at Google. They are. However the setting is definitely totally different. We’re talking about individuals, specialists in their subject, given new course from a brand new boss. How do you assume you’d feel?

I consider understanding the people who work on search is an asset to understanding search. That’s extra true immediately than ever.

Business Content Is Lacking

I wrestle to seek out good content to learn nowadays. We lost our greatest investigative journalist last yr along with one other passionate and sensible editor. Danny Sullivan and Matt McGee are sorely missed.

I used to take great satisfaction in curating the business and Tweeting out the most effective I might find every day. It was a gentle stream of 2 or three Tweets a day. Now … it’s perhaps twice every week. Perhaps I’m just over-the-hill and not finding the brand new voices? Perhaps I’m not dedicating sufficient time to combing Feedly?

But I’m discouraged when I open up a prime tendencies of 2018 publish (which I know is a mistake) and see ‘water is wet’ statements like ‘featured snippets will be important’ and ‘voice search is on the rise’.

As an alternative of bemoaning the dangerous, I want to point out people like Paul Shapiro for nice technical content and Cyrus Shepard who appears to have taken up the mantle of curating our business. There are other nice specialists like Bill Slawski and Bartosz Goralweicz on the market contributing however … there are too few of them for my taste.

And there are others who clearly have information but aren’t sharing proper now. I’m not going to name them out. Hell, I’d be calling myself out too. I assume they’re all busy with work and life. Being business well-known doesn’t make their lives better. The truth is, it causes extra problems. I get it, however I wish we all had extra time to move the conversation forward.

Extra knowledge isn’t the problem, it’s the shortage of interpretation and evaluation.

The conversations I see occurring in the business are often masturbatory and ego driven. Somebody needs to be right and someone needs to be incorrect. Actual debate and true exploration look like an endangered species.

As an example, figuring out that Google is relying closely on machine studying, shouldn’t the business be taking a look at analyzing algorithmic modifications in a unique approach.

Right now, modifications in rank are typically tied to an update in the mapping of vectors to intent that renders a special mix of content on outcomes. One can watch over many months as they check, study and adapt on query courses in pursuit of optimal time to lengthy click metrics.

I find the calcification of search fact to be harmful given the speed of modifications inherent in our vertical. On the similar time, the most recent things don’t substitute the tried and true. It’s these contradictions that make our business fascinating!

Past that, many are working off of a very restricted knowledge set. The truth that one thing labored for you on the one website that you simply tried it on won’t mean much. In fact, we’ve also seen individuals with a lot bigger knowledge units make errors in interpretation.

And that’s where things seem to have gone off the tracks. I don’t mind correlation studies. They provide another level of knowledge for me to think about amongst numerous other knowledge factors. I assign the findings from each correlation research a weight based mostly on all of my other information.

That signifies that some will receive little or no weight and others extra based mostly on my understanding of how they have been carried out and what I see in apply across my shopper base. We don’t need much less knowledge, much less content or fewer techniques. We have to higher perceive the worth of every and the way they mix to assist achieve search success.

In consequence I see much more appetite for hiring progress engineers over SEOs largely as a result of they’re prepared to check and adapt as an alternative of proselytize.

The Issues That Matter

I’m most cancers free! It’s been almost three years now. And in 2017 I couldn’t use recovery as an excuse for my eating habits. So I misplaced 25 kilos.

For those , there’s no actual magic to dropping pounds. Journal your food and take in fewer calories than you burn. It’s not all the time enjoyable or straightforward however it works.

I gained 10 of that back in the previous few months of the yr. This was partly because I lost my tennis partners, which meant no calorie burning exercise cushion that allowed me a number of days of indulgence each week.

Fortunately, my daughter is now lastly getting back to tennis after bodily remedy for a patellar subluxation, which is a dislocation of the kneecap. Her second in two years.

It turns out her thigh bone doesn’t have as deep a divot for her kneecap. It’s almost flat, which suggests she’s vulnerable to dislocations. The orthopedist talked about that this additionally meant that when it did slip out it wouldn’t harm almost as much. Seems I’m not the one one who can inform a narrative that depends on the constructive versus the destructive. #callback

My wife, then again, has tennis elbow, which is way extra painful than she or I realized. She’ll be present process a process soon in hopes that it helps her tendon to bounce again and heal absolutely.

Things are literally fairly good regardless of all this and the fact that my daughter is a youngster (yikes) and my wife just had sinus surgical procedure. I’m around and I’m happier, which I hope is as infectious as this yr’s flu.

Postscript: Depart A Remark // Subscribe (RSS Feed)

The Next Publish: Monitoring Hidden Long-Tail Search Visitors The Earlier Submit: Google Index Protection Report

The post What I Learned in 2017 appeared first on Tactics Socks.

#Blog #Career #Life #SEO

[badgerrose-blog]

(This can be a private publish so if that isn’t your factor then it is best to move on.)

2017 was lots like 2016, but on steroids. That meant a 40% improve in the enterprise, which sadly came with much more stress and angst. I did figure some things out and managed to make some selections that I plan to place into apply in 2018.

Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Last yr I was lastly snug calling Blind 5 Yr Previous a hit. I’d made it. But that got here with a number of unusual baggage that I wasn’t totally positive the right way to deal with.

It was uncomfortable to put in writing about how success may be troublesome when you realize that others are struggling. But I can solely write about my own experience and acknowledge that some would take my words the flawed method.

Trust me, I perceive that these are good problems. But they’re issues nonetheless. In 2017 those problems grew. The very healthy revenue I had maintained for the past 4 years rose by 40%.

I stared at the run price all year long type of dumbfounded. For actual? That a lot! It’s not that I lacked confidence and didn’t assume I’d make it. The number was just past what I anticipated.

Cash and Happiness

Cash is a wierd beast. One among my favourite items final yr was When life changing cash, isn’t by Wil Reynolds. He captured a substantial amount of what I’ve struggled with over the past few years.

I’m at a spot the place bills aren’t an issue and I can primarily do what I need to do. My daughter needs a brand new tennis racquet, I buy one. Ought to we exit for dinner tonight? Why not. Need to vacation on the seashore in Maui? E-book it!

The power to do this stuff makes me very totally different from a majority of individuals and that scares me.

The factor is, I don’t want an entire lot extra. I’m not trying to get a better house or a greater automotive. I don’t have a need to purchase crazy costly clothes. Hell, I spend most of my days in sweats behind this pc.

Extra money isn’t inherently dangerous. I imply, I do stay in some of the costly areas in the country and I am all about putting more in the direction of retirement and school. However both of those at the moment are on monitor so the additional cash doesn’t truly do that rather more.

Extra money hasn’t made me happier.

Time and Stress

The additional work created a lot more strain. There’s less time and extra expectations. That mixture doesn’t translate into more happiness. Under no circumstances.

It’d if I simply needed to coast on fame and churn out regardless of the minimal quantity that was required to maintain the cash rolling in. However I’m not wired like that.

I’m not trying to mollify and appease, I’m trying to rework and build. Each shopper is totally different and requires research and due diligence to find out the best way to greatest deal with their search and enterprise points.

I really feel the obligation of being a great associate and in delivering outcomes. I don’t like cashing checks when a shopper’s business isn’t shifting in the appropriate course.

Communication

I find it onerous to respond shortly to something I consider requires larger thought. Meaning I’m sluggish and often don’t communicate nicely. I’ve come to the conclusion that this can be a function and not a bug.

Can I get higher at telling individuals when I’m taking more time than they need? Yes. But I comprehend it gained’t go away utterly. I’ll typically slip right into a cycle of not responding and then pushing aside responding till I have one thing more materials and when I don’t the guilt increases and the response then have to be that a lot better so I delay … once more.

I do this much less now than I used to. But I comprehend it’ll still happen occasionally and I’m uninterested in feeling dangerous about that. Some shoppers simply aren’t a match for my work type. And that’s okay.

Referrals and Aid

Much of what I describe above is why I continue to obtain referrals. Good work gets observed and in an business rife with pretenders individuals happily promote those who really get the work finished.

I love referrals. However additionally they come loaded with further stress. Because you don’t need to let the individual referring you down. It’s not misplaced on me that they have sufficient confidence in me to belief them with one among their very own connections.

What I’ve discovered in the last yr is that more of these individuals perceive the bind I’m in. I have solely a lot time and I’m not all the time the suitable individual for a business. I specialize in giant scale B2C sites like Pinterest and Genius. It’s not that I can’t do B2B. I simply don’t take pleasure in it as much.

In order that they inform me up entrance that it won’t be a match or they could even ask if further referrals are serving to me or not. I inform you, it’s an unimaginable aid when referrals are put in this context.

I often still take these calls although. I discovered that just having a conversation with a referred lead is effective. I don’t need to be the solution. I might help decide what they actually need and may typically join them with colleagues who I trust will do a very good job on their behalf.

I grow to be a link on a sequence of expertise and belief. This can be a highly beneficial and scarce commodity.

Professional or Prima Donna

The crux for me was in understanding my value. Not solely understanding it however believing in it. Do I deserve that lawyer-like hourly price? I don’t do lots of hourly work now but I find it a great way to help extra people without the overhead of stress.

Legal professionals have an outlined set of experience that many others don’t. Hopefully additionally they have a monitor document of success. So how does that examine to my enterprise? The regulation is relatively secure and transparent. However search is the other. It modifications and it isn’t clear in the slightest.

In fact two legal professionals can interpret the regulation in a different way, simply as two SEOs can interpret search in another way. But extra so at this time than ever, the ignorance in our business – or pure disinformation – places a premium on connecting with true specialists.

It’s not just discovering somebody who will help you figure out your search points. It’s stopping them from following dangerous advice and throwing good money after dangerous.

My default is to say that I’m fortunate to be in a position the place I have extra business than I can deal with. However it’s not likely luck. I put in the time and I get the outcomes. I work arduous and am always trying to hold my edge. What is it that I’m not seeing?

I use this as context to elucidate why I’m not prepared to relinquish my work type. And I’m making an attempt to acknowledge that it doesn’t make me a prima donna. It simply acknowledges that I’m an skilled in my area and that I need to be glad.

It’s uncomfortable to cost a high price and dictate particular terms of engagement. It’s like the Van Halen rider the place they demanded M&Ms however no brown ones. I guess you are able to do worse than being the search equal of David Lee Roth. Notably if you understand the historical past around that famous rider.

Letting Angst Go

2017 was about embracing my worth and believing in my experience. It was about letting my own misgivings and angst go so that I can do the work I take pleasure in and be completely satisfied doing it.

Perhaps this sounds straightforward to some. Nevertheless it hasn’t come easily for me. Whereas I don’t achieve validation from others, I don’t need to be a type of people who are out of contact and troublesome to work with.

I absolutely dropped the ball on some leads and a few shoppers in 2017. Never to the point the place it harm their business. But individuals have been irritated. I am really sorry for that however … I not feel (overly) responsible about it.

I needed to do the most effective work. I took on an excessive amount of. I tried my greatest. I’ll get up and check out my greatest tomorrow.

I’ve discovered to say no more typically and not really feel responsible about it or feel prefer it’s a missed opportunity. I’m not trying to build an company and scale up. I’m a high-touch marketing consultant with restricted time constraints.

Raising Charges and Changing Retainers

Based mostly on this I raised my charges. It’s the second time I’ve completed that in the last three years. And I did it as a result of one in every of my shoppers informed me I ought to. It’s good when shoppers are searching for you as much as you’re for them.

I additionally determined to take away the hourly most in my retainer agreements. Up to now, I had a clause that primarily ensured that a shopper wouldn’t monopolize my time beneath a retainer settlement. I built in a hourly most simply in case.

The problem was that by having that hourly maximum they have been all the time considering of the retainer in phrases of the variety of hours worked. That wasn’t what I was about. It isn’t about time. It’s about experience and outcomes.

This video on How To Worth Design Providers spoke to me so clearly.

I didn’t watch your complete video. I imply, who has 36 minutes! However that one phase was sufficient for me to know that it wasn’t the hours individuals must be paying for however the expertise.

This made an enormous difference because I not have dreary conversations about whether I devoted enough hours to help the retainer. I hate those conversations. They make me indignant. So now I don’t have them.

Advisor Gigs

I also sought out extra advisor positions in 2017. I didn’t quite nail down easy methods to greatest structure these engagements. And I did a awful job of juggling those relationships versus my conventional relationships.

But that’s how you work these things out. You stub your toe and transfer on making an attempt to not make those same errors again. 2018 already appears good on this entrance with quite a lot of fascinating relationships where I can leverage my experience in search and advertising.

I constructed most of my long term shopper relationships on trust and including business value beyond conventional search. And while I might take advising positions based mostly on my main experience I’m in search of people who value my bigger information set and insight from scores of shoppers over the previous ten years.

I’ve discovered quite a bit about what makes one start-up succeed the place others fail.

Continuous Schooling

Change is all the time a continuing in search. And I’d say that the speed of change is growing. I’m lucky to work with some unimaginable technical groups. So once they say something I don’t fairly understand I don’t just nod alongside.

I ask them to elucidate it. I tell individuals when I don’t know one thing. I’ll tell individuals I know sufficient to know something is off however not sufficient to inform them precisely what’s mistaken. This is the way you build experience and achieve belief.

And in 2018 I’ve requested a number of builders I belief to take an afternoon to speak to me like a five yr previous about JavaScript frameworks and how they deliver content to the page. Now, I understand the subject. However I need to study more.

One among my belongings has been to have sufficient technical information to know when someone is blowing smoke up my nether regions. A variety of what I ask individuals to do (instrumentation) is boring. As such, many builders inflate the complexity of these tasks. Asking a number of pointed questions shortly reduces that inflation and will get the work achieved.

I don’t feel like I have that degree of confidence on JavaScript frameworks. I can inform half of the builders I work with have an analogous degree of data to my very own. And when a developer admits as a lot we will simply collaborate, debate troublesome questions and figure issues out. However many developers aren’t going to confess to ‘good enough’ information.

Studying more is all the time a priority.

Outsourcing

Then again, I can’t do every part. I typically need to but there’s simply not enough time in the day. This weblog wants a makeover and I’ll should get another person to do it. I need to let my tinkering ways go so I can develop and give attention to different tasks.

And there are different tasks in the works. Prior to now I’ve had concepts, purchased domains and considered constructing one factor or one other. Nice ideas! However they never went anyplace. A continuing movement of renewing domain e-mail notices remind me of the missed alternatives.

The most important obstacle in these tasks was … me. I needed to do all of it. I needed to build the precise website, which could require studying a brand new programming and database language. After which I’d want to truly write all the content material after which do all the advertising and promotion.

Ain’t no one acquired time for that.

Properly, perhaps some individuals do however I’m not one among them. Regardless that I might, and part of me thinks it might be fun if I did, I shouldn’t spend my time that approach. So I’m working with people to spin up two sites and one potential device.

Danger and Danger

I anticipate that it is going to be troublesome for me to let go of some particulars. I’m guessing the tasks can be messy, complicated, aggravating and hopefully rewarding in by some means. But truthfully, there are specific lyrics from Contrails by Astronautalis that remain my guiding star.

The actual danger isn’t a slipped grip at the fringe of the height The actual danger is simply to linger at the base of the factor

Every time I take a danger I am comfortable I did so. I can’t inform you that it all the time labored out. However in some methods … it did, with enough time and perspective.

In each failure, I can select how that helped get me to the place I am in the present day. I’m not saying things couldn’t have been simpler. They might have. I simply determine to seek out the constructive out of those conditions.

That’s not some saccharine ‘everything happens for a reason’ tripe. Screw that. I can just tell a story the place the ending is … pleased. I have most cancers however it’s one which’s simply treatable. That’s a win in my guide.

Telling myself these stories and deciding that I’d quite dwell on what turned out proper as an alternative of flawed helps me take the subsequent danger. It’s my job to take heed to that stressed itch and move my story ahead figuring out I might have to do some modifying in submit production.

Observations

There have been loads of business modifications final yr that had a meaningful influence on my business. I made a decision to criticize less so I wavered in adding these observations because they’re not notably rosy.

However the following issues formed my yr from how I strategy search evaluation, to how I achieve further information to how I educate shoppers.

The Google we knew is just not the Google we’re coping with in the present day

I’ve been lucky to satisfy and speak with various Googlers all through the years. They’re overwhelmingly good individuals making an attempt to do the best factor by customers. The power and keenness they’ve around search is … inspiring.

But Matt Cutts left and Amit Singhal was replaced by John Giannandrea as the top of search. That doesn’t appear to be quite a bit. But for those who put your ear to the tracks and skim the tea leaves you acknowledge that this was an enormous change in path for Google.

Machine studying is front and middle and it’s a vital a part of Google’s algorithm.

It’s not that good, passionate individuals aren’t nonetheless at Google. They are. However the setting is definitely totally different. We’re talking about individuals, specialists in their subject, given new course from a brand new boss. How do you assume you’d feel?

I consider understanding the people who work on search is an asset to understanding search. That’s extra true immediately than ever.

Business Content Is Lacking

I wrestle to seek out good content to learn nowadays. We lost our greatest investigative journalist last yr along with one other passionate and sensible editor. Danny Sullivan and Matt McGee are sorely missed.

I used to take great satisfaction in curating the business and Tweeting out the most effective I might find every day. It was a gentle stream of 2 or three Tweets a day. Now … it’s perhaps twice every week. Perhaps I’m just over-the-hill and not finding the brand new voices? Perhaps I’m not dedicating sufficient time to combing Feedly?

But I’m discouraged when I open up a prime tendencies of 2018 publish (which I know is a mistake) and see ‘water is wet’ statements like ‘featured snippets will be important’ and ‘voice search is on the rise’.

As an alternative of bemoaning the dangerous, I want to point out people like Paul Shapiro for nice technical content and Cyrus Shepard who appears to have taken up the mantle of curating our business. There are other nice specialists like Bill Slawski and Bartosz Goralweicz on the market contributing however … there are too few of them for my taste.

And there are others who clearly have information but aren’t sharing proper now. I’m not going to name them out. Hell, I’d be calling myself out too. I assume they’re all busy with work and life. Being business well-known doesn’t make their lives better. The truth is, it causes extra problems. I get it, however I wish we all had extra time to move the conversation forward.

Extra knowledge isn’t the problem, it’s the shortage of interpretation and evaluation.

The conversations I see occurring in the business are often masturbatory and ego driven. Somebody needs to be right and someone needs to be incorrect. Actual debate and true exploration look like an endangered species.

As an example, figuring out that Google is relying closely on machine studying, shouldn’t the business be taking a look at analyzing algorithmic modifications in a unique approach.

Right now, modifications in rank are typically tied to an update in the mapping of vectors to intent that renders a special mix of content on outcomes. One can watch over many months as they check, study and adapt on query courses in pursuit of optimal time to lengthy click metrics.

I find the calcification of search fact to be harmful given the speed of modifications inherent in our vertical. On the similar time, the most recent things don’t substitute the tried and true. It’s these contradictions that make our business fascinating!

Past that, many are working off of a very restricted knowledge set. The truth that one thing labored for you on the one website that you simply tried it on won’t mean much. In fact, we’ve also seen individuals with a lot bigger knowledge units make errors in interpretation.

And that’s where things seem to have gone off the tracks. I don’t mind correlation studies. They provide another level of knowledge for me to think about amongst numerous other knowledge factors. I assign the findings from each correlation research a weight based mostly on all of my other information.

That signifies that some will receive little or no weight and others extra based mostly on my understanding of how they have been carried out and what I see in apply across my shopper base. We don’t need much less knowledge, much less content or fewer techniques. We have to higher perceive the worth of every and the way they mix to assist achieve search success.

In consequence I see much more appetite for hiring progress engineers over SEOs largely as a result of they’re prepared to check and adapt as an alternative of proselytize.

The Issues That Matter

I’m most cancers free! It’s been almost three years now. And in 2017 I couldn’t use recovery as an excuse for my eating habits. So I misplaced 25 kilos.

For those , there’s no actual magic to dropping pounds. Journal your food and take in fewer calories than you burn. It’s not all the time enjoyable or straightforward however it works.

I gained 10 of that back in the previous few months of the yr. This was partly because I lost my tennis partners, which meant no calorie burning exercise cushion that allowed me a number of days of indulgence each week.

Fortunately, my daughter is now lastly getting back to tennis after bodily remedy for a patellar subluxation, which is a dislocation of the kneecap. Her second in two years.

It turns out her thigh bone doesn’t have as deep a divot for her kneecap. It’s almost flat, which suggests she’s vulnerable to dislocations. The orthopedist talked about that this additionally meant that when it did slip out it wouldn’t harm almost as much. Seems I’m not the one one who can inform a narrative that depends on the constructive versus the destructive. #callback

My wife, then again, has tennis elbow, which is way extra painful than she or I realized. She’ll be present process a process soon in hopes that it helps her tendon to bounce again and heal absolutely.

Things are literally fairly good regardless of all this and the fact that my daughter is a youngster (yikes) and my wife just had sinus surgical procedure. I’m around and I’m happier, which I hope is as infectious as this yr’s flu.

Postscript: Depart A Remark // Subscribe (RSS Feed)

The Next Publish: Monitoring Hidden Long-Tail Search Visitors The Earlier Submit: Google Index Protection Report

The post What I Learned in 2017 appeared first on Tactics Socks.

#Blog #Career #Life #SEO

[imuzikanterabcdefghijyzus-blog]

(This can be a private publish so if that isn’t your factor then it is best to move on.)

2017 was lots like 2016, but on steroids. That meant a 40% improve in the enterprise, which sadly came with much more stress and angst. I did figure some things out and managed to make some selections that I plan to place into apply in 2018.

Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Last yr I was lastly snug calling Blind 5 Yr Previous a hit. I’d made it. But that got here with a number of unusual baggage that I wasn’t totally positive the right way to deal with.

It was uncomfortable to put in writing about how success may be troublesome when you realize that others are struggling. But I can solely write about my own experience and acknowledge that some would take my words the flawed method.

Trust me, I perceive that these are good problems. But they’re issues nonetheless. In 2017 those problems grew. The very healthy revenue I had maintained for the past 4 years rose by 40%.

I stared at the run price all year long type of dumbfounded. For actual? That a lot! It’s not that I lacked confidence and didn’t assume I’d make it. The number was just past what I anticipated.

Cash and Happiness

Cash is a wierd beast. One among my favourite items final yr was When life changing cash, isn’t by Wil Reynolds. He captured a substantial amount of what I’ve struggled with over the past few years.

I’m at a spot the place bills aren’t an issue and I can primarily do what I need to do. My daughter needs a brand new tennis racquet, I buy one. Ought to we exit for dinner tonight? Why not. Need to vacation on the seashore in Maui? E-book it!

The power to do this stuff makes me very totally different from a majority of individuals and that scares me.

The factor is, I don’t want an entire lot extra. I’m not trying to get a better house or a greater automotive. I don’t have a need to purchase crazy costly clothes. Hell, I spend most of my days in sweats behind this pc.

Extra money isn’t inherently dangerous. I imply, I do stay in some of the costly areas in the country and I am all about putting more in the direction of retirement and school. However both of those at the moment are on monitor so the additional cash doesn’t truly do that rather more.

Extra money hasn’t made me happier.

Time and Stress

The additional work created a lot more strain. There’s less time and extra expectations. That mixture doesn’t translate into more happiness. Under no circumstances.

It’d if I simply needed to coast on fame and churn out regardless of the minimal quantity that was required to maintain the cash rolling in. However I’m not wired like that.

I’m not trying to mollify and appease, I’m trying to rework and build. Each shopper is totally different and requires research and due diligence to find out the best way to greatest deal with their search and enterprise points.

I really feel the obligation of being a great associate and in delivering outcomes. I don’t like cashing checks when a shopper’s business isn’t shifting in the appropriate course.

Communication

I find it onerous to respond shortly to something I consider requires larger thought. Meaning I’m sluggish and often don’t communicate nicely. I’ve come to the conclusion that this can be a function and not a bug.

Can I get higher at telling individuals when I’m taking more time than they need? Yes. But I comprehend it gained’t go away utterly. I’ll typically slip right into a cycle of not responding and then pushing aside responding till I have one thing more materials and when I don’t the guilt increases and the response then have to be that a lot better so I delay … once more.

I do this much less now than I used to. But I comprehend it’ll still happen occasionally and I’m uninterested in feeling dangerous about that. Some shoppers simply aren’t a match for my work type. And that’s okay.

Referrals and Aid

Much of what I describe above is why I continue to obtain referrals. Good work gets observed and in an business rife with pretenders individuals happily promote those who really get the work finished.

I love referrals. However additionally they come loaded with further stress. Because you don’t need to let the individual referring you down. It’s not misplaced on me that they have sufficient confidence in me to belief them with one among their very own connections.

What I’ve discovered in the last yr is that more of these individuals perceive the bind I’m in. I have solely a lot time and I’m not all the time the suitable individual for a business. I specialize in giant scale B2C sites like Pinterest and Genius. It’s not that I can’t do B2B. I simply don’t take pleasure in it as much.

In order that they inform me up entrance that it won’t be a match or they could even ask if further referrals are serving to me or not. I inform you, it’s an unimaginable aid when referrals are put in this context.

I often still take these calls although. I discovered that just having a conversation with a referred lead is effective. I don’t need to be the solution. I might help decide what they actually need and may typically join them with colleagues who I trust will do a very good job on their behalf.

I grow to be a link on a sequence of expertise and belief. This can be a highly beneficial and scarce commodity.

Professional or Prima Donna

The crux for me was in understanding my value. Not solely understanding it however believing in it. Do I deserve that lawyer-like hourly price? I don’t do lots of hourly work now but I find it a great way to help extra people without the overhead of stress.

Legal professionals have an outlined set of experience that many others don’t. Hopefully additionally they have a monitor document of success. So how does that examine to my enterprise? The regulation is relatively secure and transparent. However search is the other. It modifications and it isn’t clear in the slightest.

In fact two legal professionals can interpret the regulation in a different way, simply as two SEOs can interpret search in another way. But extra so at this time than ever, the ignorance in our business – or pure disinformation – places a premium on connecting with true specialists.

It’s not just discovering somebody who will help you figure out your search points. It’s stopping them from following dangerous advice and throwing good money after dangerous.

My default is to say that I’m fortunate to be in a position the place I have extra business than I can deal with. However it’s not likely luck. I put in the time and I get the outcomes. I work arduous and am always trying to hold my edge. What is it that I’m not seeing?

I use this as context to elucidate why I’m not prepared to relinquish my work type. And I’m making an attempt to acknowledge that it doesn’t make me a prima donna. It simply acknowledges that I’m an skilled in my area and that I need to be glad.

It’s uncomfortable to cost a high price and dictate particular terms of engagement. It’s like the Van Halen rider the place they demanded M&Ms however no brown ones. I guess you are able to do worse than being the search equal of David Lee Roth. Notably if you understand the historical past around that famous rider.

Letting Angst Go

2017 was about embracing my worth and believing in my experience. It was about letting my own misgivings and angst go so that I can do the work I take pleasure in and be completely satisfied doing it.

Perhaps this sounds straightforward to some. Nevertheless it hasn’t come easily for me. Whereas I don’t achieve validation from others, I don’t need to be a type of people who are out of contact and troublesome to work with.

I absolutely dropped the ball on some leads and a few shoppers in 2017. Never to the point the place it harm their business. But individuals have been irritated. I am really sorry for that however … I not feel (overly) responsible about it.

I needed to do the most effective work. I took on an excessive amount of. I tried my greatest. I’ll get up and check out my greatest tomorrow.

I’ve discovered to say no more typically and not really feel responsible about it or feel prefer it’s a missed opportunity. I’m not trying to build an company and scale up. I’m a high-touch marketing consultant with restricted time constraints.

Raising Charges and Changing Retainers

Based mostly on this I raised my charges. It’s the second time I’ve completed that in the last three years. And I did it as a result of one in every of my shoppers informed me I ought to. It’s good when shoppers are searching for you as much as you’re for them.

I additionally determined to take away the hourly most in my retainer agreements. Up to now, I had a clause that primarily ensured that a shopper wouldn’t monopolize my time beneath a retainer settlement. I built in a hourly most simply in case.

The problem was that by having that hourly maximum they have been all the time considering of the retainer in phrases of the variety of hours worked. That wasn’t what I was about. It isn’t about time. It’s about experience and outcomes.

This video on How To Worth Design Providers spoke to me so clearly.

I didn’t watch your complete video. I imply, who has 36 minutes! However that one phase was sufficient for me to know that it wasn’t the hours individuals must be paying for however the expertise.

This made an enormous difference because I not have dreary conversations about whether I devoted enough hours to help the retainer. I hate those conversations. They make me indignant. So now I don’t have them.

Advisor Gigs

I also sought out extra advisor positions in 2017. I didn’t quite nail down easy methods to greatest structure these engagements. And I did a awful job of juggling those relationships versus my conventional relationships.

But that’s how you work these things out. You stub your toe and transfer on making an attempt to not make those same errors again. 2018 already appears good on this entrance with quite a lot of fascinating relationships where I can leverage my experience in search and advertising.

I constructed most of my long term shopper relationships on trust and including business value beyond conventional search. And while I might take advising positions based mostly on my main experience I’m in search of people who value my bigger information set and insight from scores of shoppers over the previous ten years.

I’ve discovered quite a bit about what makes one start-up succeed the place others fail.

Continuous Schooling

Change is all the time a continuing in search. And I’d say that the speed of change is growing. I’m lucky to work with some unimaginable technical groups. So once they say something I don’t fairly understand I don’t just nod alongside.

I ask them to elucidate it. I tell individuals when I don’t know one thing. I’ll tell individuals I know sufficient to know something is off however not sufficient to inform them precisely what’s mistaken. This is the way you build experience and achieve belief.

And in 2018 I’ve requested a number of builders I belief to take an afternoon to speak to me like a five yr previous about JavaScript frameworks and how they deliver content to the page. Now, I understand the subject. However I need to study more.

One among my belongings has been to have sufficient technical information to know when someone is blowing smoke up my nether regions. A variety of what I ask individuals to do (instrumentation) is boring. As such, many builders inflate the complexity of these tasks. Asking a number of pointed questions shortly reduces that inflation and will get the work achieved.

I don’t feel like I have that degree of confidence on JavaScript frameworks. I can inform half of the builders I work with have an analogous degree of data to my very own. And when a developer admits as a lot we will simply collaborate, debate troublesome questions and figure issues out. However many developers aren’t going to confess to ‘good enough’ information.

Studying more is all the time a priority.

Outsourcing

Then again, I can’t do every part. I typically need to but there’s simply not enough time in the day. This weblog wants a makeover and I’ll should get another person to do it. I need to let my tinkering ways go so I can develop and give attention to different tasks.

And there are different tasks in the works. Prior to now I’ve had concepts, purchased domains and considered constructing one factor or one other. Nice ideas! However they never went anyplace. A continuing movement of renewing domain e-mail notices remind me of the missed alternatives.

The most important obstacle in these tasks was … me. I needed to do all of it. I needed to build the precise website, which could require studying a brand new programming and database language. After which I’d want to truly write all the content material after which do all the advertising and promotion.

Ain’t no one acquired time for that.

Properly, perhaps some individuals do however I’m not one among them. Regardless that I might, and part of me thinks it might be fun if I did, I shouldn’t spend my time that approach. So I’m working with people to spin up two sites and one potential device.

Danger and Danger

I anticipate that it is going to be troublesome for me to let go of some particulars. I’m guessing the tasks can be messy, complicated, aggravating and hopefully rewarding in by some means. But truthfully, there are specific lyrics from Contrails by Astronautalis that remain my guiding star.

The actual danger isn’t a slipped grip at the fringe of the height The actual danger is simply to linger at the base of the factor

Every time I take a danger I am comfortable I did so. I can’t inform you that it all the time labored out. However in some methods … it did, with enough time and perspective.

In each failure, I can select how that helped get me to the place I am in the present day. I’m not saying things couldn’t have been simpler. They might have. I simply determine to seek out the constructive out of those conditions.

That’s not some saccharine ‘everything happens for a reason’ tripe. Screw that. I can just tell a story the place the ending is … pleased. I have most cancers however it’s one which’s simply treatable. That’s a win in my guide.

Telling myself these stories and deciding that I’d quite dwell on what turned out proper as an alternative of flawed helps me take the subsequent danger. It’s my job to take heed to that stressed itch and move my story ahead figuring out I might have to do some modifying in submit production.

Observations

There have been loads of business modifications final yr that had a meaningful influence on my business. I made a decision to criticize less so I wavered in adding these observations because they’re not notably rosy.

However the following issues formed my yr from how I strategy search evaluation, to how I achieve further information to how I educate shoppers.

The Google we knew is just not the Google we’re coping with in the present day

I’ve been lucky to satisfy and speak with various Googlers all through the years. They’re overwhelmingly good individuals making an attempt to do the best factor by customers. The power and keenness they’ve around search is … inspiring.

But Matt Cutts left and Amit Singhal was replaced by John Giannandrea as the top of search. That doesn’t appear to be quite a bit. But for those who put your ear to the tracks and skim the tea leaves you acknowledge that this was an enormous change in path for Google.

Machine studying is front and middle and it’s a vital a part of Google’s algorithm.

It’s not that good, passionate individuals aren’t nonetheless at Google. They are. However the setting is definitely totally different. We’re talking about individuals, specialists in their subject, given new course from a brand new boss. How do you assume you’d feel?

I consider understanding the people who work on search is an asset to understanding search. That’s extra true immediately than ever.

Business Content Is Lacking

I wrestle to seek out good content to learn nowadays. We lost our greatest investigative journalist last yr along with one other passionate and sensible editor. Danny Sullivan and Matt McGee are sorely missed.

I used to take great satisfaction in curating the business and Tweeting out the most effective I might find every day. It was a gentle stream of 2 or three Tweets a day. Now … it’s perhaps twice every week. Perhaps I’m just over-the-hill and not finding the brand new voices? Perhaps I’m not dedicating sufficient time to combing Feedly?

But I’m discouraged when I open up a prime tendencies of 2018 publish (which I know is a mistake) and see ‘water is wet’ statements like ‘featured snippets will be important’ and ‘voice search is on the rise’.

As an alternative of bemoaning the dangerous, I want to point out people like Paul Shapiro for nice technical content and Cyrus Shepard who appears to have taken up the mantle of curating our business. There are other nice specialists like Bill Slawski and Bartosz Goralweicz on the market contributing however … there are too few of them for my taste.

And there are others who clearly have information but aren’t sharing proper now. I’m not going to name them out. Hell, I’d be calling myself out too. I assume they’re all busy with work and life. Being business well-known doesn’t make their lives better. The truth is, it causes extra problems. I get it, however I wish we all had extra time to move the conversation forward.

Extra knowledge isn’t the problem, it’s the shortage of interpretation and evaluation.

The conversations I see occurring in the business are often masturbatory and ego driven. Somebody needs to be right and someone needs to be incorrect. Actual debate and true exploration look like an endangered species.

As an example, figuring out that Google is relying closely on machine studying, shouldn’t the business be taking a look at analyzing algorithmic modifications in a unique approach.

Right now, modifications in rank are typically tied to an update in the mapping of vectors to intent that renders a special mix of content on outcomes. One can watch over many months as they check, study and adapt on query courses in pursuit of optimal time to lengthy click metrics.

I find the calcification of search fact to be harmful given the speed of modifications inherent in our vertical. On the similar time, the most recent things don’t substitute the tried and true. It’s these contradictions that make our business fascinating!

Past that, many are working off of a very restricted knowledge set. The truth that one thing labored for you on the one website that you simply tried it on won’t mean much. In fact, we’ve also seen individuals with a lot bigger knowledge units make errors in interpretation.

And that’s where things seem to have gone off the tracks. I don’t mind correlation studies. They provide another level of knowledge for me to think about amongst numerous other knowledge factors. I assign the findings from each correlation research a weight based mostly on all of my other information.

That signifies that some will receive little or no weight and others extra based mostly on my understanding of how they have been carried out and what I see in apply across my shopper base. We don’t need much less knowledge, much less content or fewer techniques. We have to higher perceive the worth of every and the way they mix to assist achieve search success.

In consequence I see much more appetite for hiring progress engineers over SEOs largely as a result of they’re prepared to check and adapt as an alternative of proselytize.

The Issues That Matter

I’m most cancers free! It’s been almost three years now. And in 2017 I couldn’t use recovery as an excuse for my eating habits. So I misplaced 25 kilos.

For those , there’s no actual magic to dropping pounds. Journal your food and take in fewer calories than you burn. It’s not all the time enjoyable or straightforward however it works.

I gained 10 of that back in the previous few months of the yr. This was partly because I lost my tennis partners, which meant no calorie burning exercise cushion that allowed me a number of days of indulgence each week.

Fortunately, my daughter is now lastly getting back to tennis after bodily remedy for a patellar subluxation, which is a dislocation of the kneecap. Her second in two years.

It turns out her thigh bone doesn’t have as deep a divot for her kneecap. It’s almost flat, which suggests she’s vulnerable to dislocations. The orthopedist talked about that this additionally meant that when it did slip out it wouldn’t harm almost as much. Seems I’m not the one one who can inform a narrative that depends on the constructive versus the destructive. #callback

My wife, then again, has tennis elbow, which is way extra painful than she or I realized. She’ll be present process a process soon in hopes that it helps her tendon to bounce again and heal absolutely.

Things are literally fairly good regardless of all this and the fact that my daughter is a youngster (yikes) and my wife just had sinus surgical procedure. I’m around and I’m happier, which I hope is as infectious as this yr’s flu.

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Questions About Child Rearing Costs, Laundry Services, Unused Media, Aldi, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. $250K to raise a kid? 2. Long term care? 3. $20 bill budgeting 4. Expense of laundry service 5. Backlog of unused media 6. 403(b) risky? 7. Cheap or expensive bag? 8. Thoughts on Aldi 9. Is renters insurance necessary? 10. Appliance repair or replace? 11. Saying no to parent 12. Getting value from self-improvement books Spring usually begins with a mix of rainy days and dry days, warm days and cold days. Sometimes, its a warm, dry day and all I want to do is go outside. Other days are wet and cold and I want to stay in out of the rain. The hardest part are the beautiful days when I need to stay inside and work. I want to go outside on a long, long walk through the countryside and through the woods, looking for mushrooms and enjoying the fresh air. Spring is wonderful. On with the questions. Q1: $250K to raise a kid? My husband and I are in our early thirties and were starting to think about having a couple of children in the next few years. We started to look into the costs and the most common figure we found was $250K to raise a child. That cant even be right as there are families that raise kid that barely bring in that in total in 18 years. What is the actual cost of raising a child in your experience? Marion When you see numbers like $250K, youre seeing the total long term cost over a period of at least twenty years, and that often includes paying for college and other such large expenses. Its also an average and includes families who are paying for things like private school. My experience has been that the cost of raising a child is often connected directly to the financial means of the parent. You can raise a child perfectly well on a low income my parents were never, ever very well off when I was growing up and they raised three children. My father worked in a factory (when he wasnt laid off) and had side gigs (most notably commercial fishing) for a living and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. There wasnt a ton of money there. We are most certainly spending more per child on our children than my parents did on me, but the truth is that a lot of the extra expense is on optional things like a band instrument or sports fees or an extra ticket to an event that were going to as a family. We could not spend those things and our child would be perfectly fine. In other words, those $250K estimates are numbers that summarize what parents are choosing to spend on children, not what they have to spend. Outside of some basic things like food, shelter, clothing, public education, and medical care, most expenses related to raising a child are very optional, and many of those required expenses can be incredibly low out of pocket. Q2: Long term care? Read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/health/assisted-living-costs-elderly.html What are ordinary people supposed to do when they need long term care? The wealthy can pay for insurance or higher care, but thats not an option for a poor person or even a middle class person. If me or my wife needed long term care I dont know what wed do. Alex This is one of many issues that have radically changed in society during the 20th century and that we havent really figured out how to handle as a society. At the start of the 20th century, people who needed this kind of care usually didnt have the medical care necessary to continue to live. They perished. Thus, it was fairly uncommon for someone to need this kind of care for an extended period of time, and when it did occur, there were typically large families and even whole communities who stepped up to provide that care. Today, much of that has changed. In many situations, medical advancements enable people to live through things that they would not have survived 100 years ago. This means that more people who are in a long term care situation are surviving when they previously would not have done so. At the same time, nuclear families are smaller and communities are less tight-knit, for various reasons. The truth is that as a society, we have not figured out how to handle this yet. We havent figured out how to handle a lot of the advancements of the 20th century yet as a society. One only needs to look at the cruelty of many internet forums as further evidence of this. The problem, of course, is that there is no ready-made solution. Long term care insurance is definitely one step many people can take to gain peace of mind about future situations, but its expensive for many. The honest truth is that many families, when faced with long term care situations, just have to deal with it moment by moment to the best of their ability. Some families struggle to provide that care at home, particularly when theres a larger pool of family members that can help, while others go into debt. Many families rely on some form of government assistance to make it work. If you can easily afford it, long term care insurance is a great idea. If not well, society doesnt have a robust solution for you. The solutions vary widely from situation to situation. Q3: $20 bill budgeting Was reading an internet forum that reminded me of how I used to budget in college. Back then, I used to have an envelope with $10 bills in it. Each month, Id put $300 in $10s in there and each day I would take one out. Aside from rent, I had to live on that $10 each day. It paid for the bus and for food. Strategy I saw used $20 bills today which would be roughly the same. Mary Lets spell out this system a little bit. Aside from scheduled bills like rent, electricity, and so on, a person would aim to live on $20 a day in cash. Each month, a person would withdraw $600 cash from savings in the form of 30 $20 bills and put them in an envelope somewhere secure. Each day, that person would take a $20 bill out of the envelope and put it in their pocket. They would have to live off of that $20 bill and change from the previous months. This gives you room to splurge if you want to, but to do so would involve eating beans and rice for a while. In other words, lean days would directly help with expensive days. It would also be needed to help you make up front purchases like a bus pass, which would ease daily expenses a little going forward. I mentioned this idea to a friend and she said that she would probably try to have days where she could get by without pulling a $20 out of the envelope and then at the end of the month thered be some $20s left over, which shed use for bigger goals or big expenses or emergencies. That seems like a strong idea to me. I think this system would work very well for anyone who is trying to make ends meet on a very tight budget. Q4: Expense of laundry service There is a service in our town that just started that will take your laundry off of your front step and bring it back within 24 hours washed, dried, and folded. The cost is $2 per pound of clothes (rounded up to nearest pound), paid up front. I am trying to do the math on whether this makes sense or not for us. Amy A typical large load of laundry weighs somewhere between 7 and 10 pounds, but that really varies depending on how much you stuff in your washer with a typical load. I actually weighed a load of laundry that I just pulled out of our dryer on a kitchen scale and it weighed about 9.5 pounds. So, youre paying somewhere between $15 and $20 per load of laundry to be done for you. What is that saving you? The big savings is the time. You arent carrying your clothes to the washer and filling it up. Youre not moving clothes to the dryer. Youre not folding those clothes, either. Thats all done for you. In terms of cost, the cost of a load of laundry at home, including all materials, energy, and equipment depreciation, is around $1. So, in essence, youre paying someone between $14 and $19 to put a load of clothes into the washer, transferring them to the dryer when done, then folding them for you when the drying is done. Thats at most half an hour of effort, and probably less than that. Thus, unless you are very strapped for time and can extract a lot more than $30 of value per hour out of an extra freed-up hour, then this isnt a cost-effective move. It essentially adds up to paying $15 or a little more for an extra 20 minutes or half an hour of free time. Q5: Backlog of unused media What are your thoughts on people who have large unused media collections and keep buying more without using what they have? Why does that happen? Is there a fix? I noticed this myself with my collection of Kindle books recently. My son is home from college and he piped up and said that he actually has a lot of computer games unplayed as we often buy him Steam gift cards. He has a ton of computer games left unplayed yet he will often seek out new ones. I want to be less into getting new stuff and more into using what I have. Mike The reasons actually pretty simple: buying and acquiring and getting and collecting new items for your collection scratches a much different itch than actually enjoying the items in that collection. I have the same issue in some areas of my life (far fewer than I used to, thankfully). The feeling that acquisition and discovery gives you is much different and I think more addictive than the feeling that diving deep gives you. This is particularly true when you dont have as much time as youd like to dive deep, but thats not the sole cause of it. The only solution Ive found that works is to put moratoriums on new acquisitions. Give yourself a 30 day or a 90 day challenge to simply not buy any new Kindle books. Suggest the same for your son with his Steam games. If you have the urge, ignore it or, if you must take action, put that item on a wishlist. This does a great job of strongly curtailing that desire to acquire, but its a desire that can easily grow if youre not being conscious about it. I find that doing these kinds of moratoriums regularly does a pretty good job of slowing down my collecting nature. As for actually using those backlogs, the best thing Ive ever done is to consciously block off time in my schedule for that kind of exploration. I block off an hour a day for reading, and that has caused my book backlog to evaporate. I block off time on many weekends to play board games and that means the games in my collection are getting much more play. Q6: 403(b) risky? I work at [a public university]. One of my coworkers claims that people shouldnt put money into a 403(b) because politicians will eventually target that money for extra taxation or reclamation because it is public funds. He thinks that because we are government employees our 403(b) money will eventually get reclaimed by the government so saving in a 403(b) is a waste. Is this even possible? Ana Well, anythings possible, I suppose. However, if youre running your life in response to what you think its possible that the government might do, youre walking by a ton of opportunity. I mean, I think its possible that the government might outlaw certain classes of opioids. Does that mean I should start hoarding them, just in case, even though theyre very likely to just sit in my cupboard and go bad? Of course not, and I consider new opioid restrictions to be far more likely than any changes to 403(b) taxation. Let me put it to you this way: if the United States government starts retroactively taxing the retirement savings of a large class of citizenry in a way that invalidates the entire reason for putting money in there in the first place, we will already be in an extremely ugly situation that will get much uglier. 401(k) and 403(b) plans are already big wins for the federal government because its a way to pump tons and tons of money into investments and thus helping the economy in exchange for merely delaying taxes for a while. The government makes far more money leaving 401(k) and 403(b) plans just as they are than if they were to tinker with them in a way that would drive people away from them. It is possible that the government would do something like that, but if theyre doing things like that, then we have much bigger fish to fry, like a rapidly devaluing dollar. In fact, most financial conspiracy theories that people use to justify weird financial choices are ones that, if they came to fruition, would be completely overshadowed by a collapsing economy and a hyperinflated dollar. In my opinion, a 403(b) is about as safe as you can get, and the risks you are taking by having one are overshadowed by the risk of having your money in the form of American dollars, and I dont consider that much of a risk either. The only realistic change I can see to a 403(b) is that they might change how the program works in the future, and that would probably involve sunsetting the current 403(b) program and letting the current accounts continue to exist without further contributions while introducing some form of replacement account. They absolutely would not want to risk any mass withdrawals from 403(b) plans if they abruptly taxed them, Wall Street would lay an egg and the value of the dollar would plummet. The government will bend over backwards to avoid that, not encourage it. Q7: Cheap or expensive bag? I need a messenger bag or backpack for work. I have been looking at the options and it seems like you can either get a cheap one for like $20 that will last for a year maybe before the straps start breaking or you can get one for like $200 that will last for several years maybe five or ten, maybe twenty. Cheap bag does the job now for only $20 but I will be replacing it before long if I use it every day. Expensive bag will do it practically for life but its really expensive right now and I have a hard time justifying spending $200 on a bag. I know you lean toward buying things for life and I can see that the long term cost might be lower with the expensive bag, but I cant justify $200 on a bag right now. Duane To me, the deciding factor in these situations is the cost of failure. What exactly happens when a bag fails on you? In my own experience, thats usually the moment when its time to get a new bag the old one failed in some way. A strap breaks or the bottom rips out or something like that. Whats the consequences of that kind of failure? What happens if youre actively using your bag and suddenly a strap breaks on your or the bottom rips out? If the consequences arent too disastrous, thats a mark toward a cheaper bag. If the consequences are dire, thats a mark toward a more expensive bag. Personally, one of the things I strongly consider when buying an item is the consequence of failure. If it causes a potentially major career or life hardship or an enormous mess, Im going to get the reliable version. If its something small, like an overcooked or undercooked meal, the cheaper version seems much more acceptable to me. For me, this was what drew me to getting a buy it for life kind of bag for daily use. Q8: Thoughts on Aldi Aldi just opened up in my community. We shopped there and thought it was okay and that the prices were great but there were weird little annoyances with layout and selection and the carts. Then I saw on CNN about how Aldi is expanding fast. What are your thoughts on Aldi? Good place to shop? Alice Im guessing that this is the CNN story that Alice is referring to. That article describes it well: they strip down the shopping experience as much as possible to make the prices low. What Ive found is that it means that their selection is kind of limited and some of their items arent particularly healthy, but their prices on what they do have are amazing. There are two different Aldi stores within about fifteen minutes of my house. Aldi is probably the cheapest grocer available to me, though Fareway isnt too far behind them and has a somewhat better selection. I basically find that the cheaper a grocery stores prices are, the weaker the selection is and the more bare-bones the shopping experience is. I generally dont mind the bare-bones shopping experience, but I do find that it restricts what I can cook if I only use Aldi (or, to a much lesser extent, Fareway). I find that if I shop at Aldi, I usually have to make a second stop for some items; occasionally, I have to do the same with Fareway, but not too often. Other grocers, like Hy-Vee, will have everything I need, but the prices are higher. Thus, it comes down to a convenience thing and a meal planning thing. If I plan very simple meals, I can get everything I need at Aldi, but our meals arent very varied. Theyre certainly cheap, but not varied. If I add more variety, I either need to make multiple stops when grocery shopping, adding significant time to my shopping trip, or shop at Fareway or even Hy-Vee. Honestly, I still mostly shop at Fareway. The prices are very good and they generally have almost everything I need. Aldi is lower on the items that overlap with Fareway, but I usually dont have to make a second stop if I shop at Fareway, its closer to my home, and the prices arent really that different for a typical weeks grocery list. Aldi is great if your list is entirely common food staples, and I do shop there sometimes. Q9: Is renters insurance necessary? Is it always necessary to get renters insurance? Just moved out from parents and my apartment has a bunch of Goodwill stuff and family hand me downs. If its gone I dont lose much. Matt First of all, its very possible that your landlord requires you to have some sort of renters insurance policy. Youll need to look carefully at your lease; if you dont have it, you might be in violation of your lease. Many leases require the renter to have a $100,000 (or more) liability policy. Honestly, the big reason that many first time renters need renters insurance is for the liability coverage. If you accidentally burn down the building and its clear youre at fault, the landlords insurance may cover some of it, but you also have a legal liability too. If you dont have insurance, that can be a huge problem. Renters insurance is pretty cheap, though. You can get a policy that includes $30,000 in property coverage (covering your stuff in event of theft or disaster) and $100,000 in liability for around $15 a month. I think its a good idea, even for people without much stuff, to get this kind of insurance if theyre renting, just because the cost is so low compared to the downside. Q10: Appliance repair or replace? Our washing machine has broken down twice in the last six months. A family friend has fixed it both times but he says that to really fix the problem will cost about $200 in parts and that we should get someone else to fix it as hes more of a handyman. Time to replace? Noelle Absolutely. I dont even hesitate to say yes to this. When a repair bill is going to be a large portion of the cost of replacing an older item, its time to replace the item, as there are likely other points of failure coming in the future. There are exceptions to this, of course. If you are familiar with repairing the item yourself or have an interest in figuring it out, then you should by all means give it a shot. If you can find the parts for cheap and want to tackle the repair on your own, maybe with the help of that friend, then its probably worth it. My guess is, given the price, that electronic components are involved, but the actual procedure shouldnt be too difficult. However, thats not something that necessarily appeals to everyone or works with everyones life. In that situation, I think a replacement is very justified. The nice part is that your current washer should last long enough to allow you to shop around. Q11: Saying no to parent Im 31 years old and single. My father passed away about six years ago. My mom didnt handle it well and has become an alcoholic and possibly a drug user. She comes to me and my brother regularly to borrow money. She does manage to keep her job at a grocery store that shes had since I was a kid but I have heard that the manager keeps her on out of loyalty and she shows up to work drunk sometimes. She was so wonderful raising me and to see her like this tears me apart but I dont know how to say no when she asks. She asks frequently enough that it does put some financial strain on my situation, though I am still making progress on my student loans. Do you have any advice for me? Megan If I were you, the absolute first step I would take is to find an Al-Anon group for you. The purpose of Al-Anon is to support people in your exact situation, those that have loved ones with alcohol abuse issues. It sounds like your mother is a good person who was broken in some way by the death of your father and she doesnt know what to do so she uses alcohol to self-medicate, and that is causing difficulties in your own life. Al-Anon can help you deal with things on your own end and perhaps help you figure out how to help your mother. There will probably come a point where you will have to tell her no, but I cant really offer specific advice on that because I dont know the specific situation. I can simply recommend Al-Anon as a great next step. Q12: Getting value from self-improvement books A lot of times when I read a book about personal finance or getting organized, the ideas make a lot of sense but then I close the cover and none of it seems to matter or take hold in my life and before long Ive forgotten everything other than a few main points. Do you have any tips for making personal finance books or organizing books more sticky in my head? Mary There are two key elements that I think make the difference for me. The first is that I take a lot of notes as Im reading it. If its on the Kindle or a copy I dont mind abusing, Ill do a ton of highlighting as I go. If its a library book, Ill put in bookmarks as I go. Then, when Im done, I wait a few days, then go back through the highlights and take actual handwritten notes on the book. This impresses the ideas into my mind. The other part is that, from those notes, if I have positive thoughts about the book at all, I try to put some of those notes into practice immediately. I usually do a thirty day challenge with some of the suggestions in the book, meaning I try to apply them as well as I can for thirty days in my life. If it seems like the trial run will actually be a net positive change, Ill keep going with it, doing a ninety day challenge with perhaps some revisions. The goal here is to try to set those changes as a habit in my life. Rolling back a bit, I find that Im more successful with this kind of change if Im already strongly interested in the type of change that the book is targeting before I ever start reading it. If its not a change thats compelling to you, its probably not worth your time to read a book on any self-improvement topic. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-child-rearing-costs-laundry-services-unused-media-aldi-and-more/

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Kidney Experts Say It’s Time to Remove Race From Medical Algorithms. Doing So Is Complicated.

Alphonso Harried recently came across a newspaper clipping about his grandfather receiving his 1,000th dialysis treatment. His grandfather later died — at a dialysis center — as did his uncle, both from kidney disease.

This story also ran on The Washington Post. It can be republished for free.

“And that comes in my mind, on my weak days: ‘Are you going to pass away just like they did?’” said Harried, 46, who also has the disease.

He doesn’t like to dwell on that. He has gigs to play as a musician, a ministry to run with his wife and kids to protect as a school security guard.

Yet he must juggle all that around three trips each week to a dialysis center in Alton, Illinois, about 20 miles from his home in St. Louis, to clean his blood of the impurities his kidneys can no longer flush out. He’s waiting for a transplant, just as his uncle did before him.

“It’s just frustrating,” Harried said. “I’m stuck in the same pattern.”

Thousands of other Americans with failing kidneys are also stuck, going to dialysis as they await new kidneys that may never come. That’s especially true of Black patients, like Harried, who are about four times as likely to have kidney failure as white Americans, and who make up more than 35% of people on dialysis but just 13% of the U.S. population. They’re also less likely to get on the waitlist for a kidney transplant, and less likely to receive a transplant once on the list.

An algorithm doctors use may help perpetuate such disparities. It uses race as a factor in evaluating all stages of kidney disease care: diagnosis, dialysis and transplantation.

It’s a simple metric that uses a blood test, plus the patient’s age and sex and whether they’re Black. It makes Black patients appear to have healthier kidneys than non-Black patients, even when their blood measurements are identical.

“It is as close to stereotyping a particular group of people as it can be,” said Dr. Rajnish Mehrotra, a nephrologist with the University of Washington School of Medicine.

This race coefficient has recently come under fire for being imprecise, leading to potentially worse outcomes for Black patients and less chance of receiving a new kidney. A national task force of kidney experts and patients is studying how to replace it. Some institutions have already stopped using it.

But how best to assess a patient’s kidney function remains uncertain, and some medical experts say fixing this equation is only one step in creating more equitable care, a process complicated by factors far deeper than a math problem.

“There are so many inequities in kidney disease that stem from broader structural racism,” said Dr. Deidra Crews, a nephrologist and the associate director for research development at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Equity. “It is just a sliver of what the broader set of issues are when it comes to both disparities and inequities in who gets kidney disease in the first place, and then in the care processes.”

Why Race Has Been Part of the Equation

Kidneys filter about 40 gallons of blood a day, like a Brita filter for the body. They keep in the good stuff and send out the bad through urine. But unlike other organs, kidneys don’t easily repair themselves.

“There’s a point of no return,” said Dr. Cynthia Delgado, a University of California-San Francisco nephrologist who is leading the task force working on the national recommendation to ditch the racial part of the equation.

Furthermore, it’s hard to gauge whether kidneys are working properly. Gold-standard tests involve a chemical infusion and hours of collecting blood and urine to see how quickly the kidneys flush the chemical out. An algorithm is much more efficient.

Buoyed by activism around structural racism, those seeking equity in health care have recently been calling out the algorithm as an example of the racism baked into American medicine. Researchers writing in the New England Journal of Medicine last year included kidney equations in a laundry list of race-adjusted algorithms used to evaluate parts of the body — from heart and lungs to bones and breasts. Such equations, they wrote, can “perpetuate or even amplify race-based health inequities.”

In March, ahead of the national task force’s upcoming formal recommendation, leaders in kidney care said race modifiers should be removed. And Fresenius Medical Care, one of the two largest U.S. dialysis companies, said the race component is “problematic.”

Until the late 1990s, doctors primarily used the Cockcroft-Gault equation. It didn’t ask for race, but used age, weight and the blood level of creatinine — a chemical that’s basically the trash left after muscles move. A high level of creatinine in the blood signals that kidneys are not doing their job of disposing of it. But the equation was based on a study of just 249 white men.

Then, researchers wrapping up a study on how to slow down kidney disease realized they were sitting on a mother lode of data that could rewrite that equation: gold-standard kidney function measurements from about 1,600 patients, 12% of whom were Black. They evaluated 16 variables, including age, sex, diabetes diagnosis and blood pressure.

They landed on something that accurately predicted the kidney function of patients better than the old equation. Except it made the kidneys of Black participants appear to be sicker than the gold-standard test showed they were.

The authors reasoned it might be caused by muscle mass. Participants with more muscle mass would likely have more creatinine in their blood, not because their kidneys were failing to remove it, but because they just had more muscles producing more waste. So they “corrected” Black patients’ results for that difference.

Dr. Andrew S. Levey, a professor at Tufts University School of Medicine who led the study, said it doesn’t make intuitive sense to include race — now widely considered a social construct — in an equation about biology.

Still, in 1999, he and others published the race equation, then updated it a decade later. Though other equations exist that don’t involve race, Levey’s latest version, often referred to as the “CKD-EPI” equation, is recommended for clinical use. It shows a Black patient’s kidneys functioning 16% better than those of a non-Black patient with the same blood work.

Removing the Race Number

Many patients don’t know about this equation and how their race has factored into their care.

“I really wish someone would have mentioned it,” Harried said.

He said it burned him up “knowing that this one little test that I didn’t know anything about could keep me from — or prolong me — getting a kidney.”

Glenda V. Roberts curbed her kidney disease with a vegan diet and by conducting meetings as an IT executive while walking. But after more than 40 years of slow decline, her kidney function finally reached the cutoff required to get on the transplant waitlist. When it did, the decline was swift — a pattern researchers have noted in Black patients. “It really makes you wonder what the benefit is of having an equation that will cause people who look like me — Black people — to get referrals later, to have to wait longer before you can get on the transplant list, but then have your disease progress more rapidly,” she said.

Roberts, who is now the director of external relations at the University of Washington’s Kidney Research Institute in Seattle and on the national task force, said a genetic test added to her feeling that a “Black/non-Black” option in an equation was a charade.

“In fact, I am not predominantly of African ancestry. I’m 25% Native American. I’m Swedish and English and French,” said Roberts. “But I am also 48% from countries that are on the continent of Africa.”

The Black/non-Black question also doesn’t make sense to Delgado, the University of California nephrologist. “I would probably for some people qualify as being non-Black,” said Delgado, who is Puerto Rican. “But for others, I would qualify as Black.”

So, theoretically, if Delgado were to visit two doctors on the same day, and they guessed her race instead of asking, she could come away with two different readings of how well her kidneys are working.

Researchers found that the race factor doesn’t work for Black Europeans or patients in West Africa. Australian researchers found using the race coefficient led them to overestimate the kidney function of Indigenous Australians.

But in the U.S., Levey and other researchers seeking to replace the race option with physical measurements, such as height and weight, hit a dead end.

To Crews, the Johns Hopkins nephrologist who is also on the national taskforce, the focus on one equation is myopic. The algorithm suggests that something about Black people’s bodies affects their kidneys. Crews thinks that’s the wrong approach to addressing disparities: The issue is not what’s unique about the inner workings of Black bodies, but instead what’s going on around them.

“I really wish we could measure that instead of using race as a variable in the estimating equations,” she said on the “Freely Filtered” podcast. “I don’t think it’s ancestry. I don’t think it’s muscle mass.”

It might not be that Black bodies are more likely to have more creatinine in the blood, but that Americans who experience housing insecurity and barriers to healthy food, quality medical care and timely referrals are more likely to have creatinine in their blood — and that many of them happen to be Black.

Systemic health disparities help explain why Black patients have unusually high rates of kidney failure, since communities of color have less access to regular primary care. One of the most serious consequences of poorly controlled diabetes and hypertension is failure of the organ.

Direct discrimination — intentional or not — from providers may also affect outcomes, said Roberts. She recalled a social worker categorizing her as unable to afford the post-transplant drugs required to keep a transplanted organ healthy, which could have delayed her getting a new organ. Roberts has held executive roles at several multimillion-dollar companies.

Delgado and Levey agree that removing race from the formula might feel better on the surface, but it isn’t clear the move would actually help people.

Studies recently published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology noted that removing the race factor could lead to some Black patients being disqualified from using beneficial medications because their kidneys might appear unable to handle them. It could also disqualify some Black people from donating a kidney.

“Fiddling with the algorithms is an imperfect way to achieve equity,” Levey said.

As researchers debate the math problem and broader societal ones, patients such as Harried, the St. Louis minister and security guard, are still stuck navigating dialysis.

“One of things that keeps me going is knowing that soon they may call me for a kidney,” Harried said.

He doesn’t know how long his name will be on the transplant waitlist — or whether the race coefficient has prolonged the wait — but he keeps a hospital bag under his bed to be ready.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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