#hiii again!! i think youve been here a few times

[hollypies]

Man. I am sorry that you are having such a terrible time at work. I'm sorry so many grown adults in your life seem to not have figured out how to be decent. I'm sorry you're not being listened to and respected like you should be. Make sure to remember that ypu deserve better so you don't end up settling for worse <3 I hope your situation improves soon and you get the things you need from the people around you. I know you're trying your best, you're a tough kid, keep hangin in there. Sending good vibes your way and wishing you some really good rest and some good laughs real soon <3<3<3

Hi sorry this took so long to answer ougha I've been pretty busy lately!

And thank you, I really do appreciate the good vibes hehe! It's been. Rough to say the least.

As for the adults well. There's just nothing I can do about it. They won't listen to me and my mom just thinks I'm melodramatic ooof. And lately my mother has noticed I've. Put on a few pounds and now I can't eat food without feeling like shit agh .. i wish she'd just let me be about my weight but whatever

I do hsve a new friend though! We're both the same age, and I think he's pretty neat. So it's not all bad ha. We even got to hang out at my house and play Mario party for a bit!

And yeah, I'm gonna keep trucking on! World can't knock me off, I'm to cool to die h gh hgh

But seriously, I'm gonna keep going. Try to get back into the swing of creating things ! Do what makes me happy !

And uhm! Yeah! That's about it hgghgf! Sorry again it took me a while to answer, work and school are killing me atm. I dont get breaks for holidays with school and on weekends I have 6 hour shifts. I just wish I had more time

Anyway here's a cat pic!

She eepy

#holly answers #anonpaws #hiii again!! i think youve been here a few times #you alwasy have nice things to say #and yhm! i really really appreciate it. it means a lot more than you probably thinm haha #and i probably should deserve better but idk. ive been raised like this all my life and adults especially never take me seriously #out of all my brothers im the . theyre all like. healthy. they need the same accommodations that i do #and it sucks because i dont think my parents are even trying to understand. #i mean. the first time i had to go home because of work my dad was talking to mt mom about putting me in. a care home??? like. #why. why do that ??? bruh #ougha ! its just a lot to manage but. im trying to make it all work! #im gonna have to stop eating around my mom though because she will NOT stop talking about my weight oooouggh #rip my sanityy.

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

#oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa toru #oikawa fic #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa imagines #oikawa tooru imagines #oikawa tooru scenarios #oikawa scenarios #oikawa toru imagines #oikawa toru scenarios #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu!! x male reader #haikyuu x male #haikyuu!! x male #haikyuu x male!reader #haikyuu!! x male!reader #male reader #x male reader #oikawa tooru x male reader

[aithusar]

hiii sorry if you've answered this before but I just finished Longing of the Soul and would love to know what you had planned for the next chapters if you want to share... i took the afternoon off after some stressful news and have just been reading everything youve written and its exactly what I needed, ive been crying but in a nice way :') youre now one of my fav merlin authors for real

I am so sorry you've had bad news! I'm really glad that my fics could help in some small way and hope whatever has happened is able to resolve itself. I'm batting for you, anon <3

You know, you're actually the first person who's wanted to know what my plan for that story was. Unfortunately I didn't have any notes and my memory is a little fuzzier than it was, and I also didn't have a plan for the ending (which was a major factor in why I abandoned it) so I can't offer closure there, but the ideas I had left are below the cut. It's really long despite not having a conclusion, sorry!

It was going to be a couple more chapters before Merlin and Arthur finally saw each other again. Arthur grew much more isolated in this period because the knights and Gwen are both seeing and speaking to Merlin now, and despite Merlin always blaming himself and not Arthur, they can tell Arthur's done something. Arthur can't explain himself because that would mean revealing Merlin's magic. So he gets really lonely.

Arthur doesn't have anything against Merlin's magic, it's more inaction and inability to make decisions because of the grief of betrayal and how momentous the shock is. He's just... not really thinking about how magic is illegal at the moment and what that means for Merlin, and what it has meant for Merlin all these years. He's dealing with too much emotionally for him to devote the mental time and space to thinking about how it's affecting/is affecting Merlin (and yes, this is a bit selfish but was part of his character flaws).

Then. THEN. It's been 30 years since magic was eradicated in Camelot and the Council asks Arthur for a feast to celebrate the purge and the destruction of magic. He tries to shut it down but politically it's complicated what with Morgana waging a magical war against them and I was going to work out a few issues with some of the lords that would make it hard for him to say no outright. So he has to let something small happen, and he kinda tries to make it more about peace and ending deaths than magic, but he feels absolutely sick because it makes him really think for the first time about how Merlin has had to hide and fear for his life and could have been burnt at the stake. Mordred notices Arthur trying to shut them down.

So here Arthur is a couple of weeks later, lonely, miserable, and everyone around him is merrily celebrating the brutal and merciless slaughter of sorcerers... sorcerers just like Merlin. Arthur's still not thinking in broader terms about how the ban has been wrong and all of its consequences; he's just thinking about Merlin, can't think about anything else. How he could have died. How many times he was probably nearly discovered. Arthur gets fantastically drunk. Back in his chambers later that night, George of course tries to get Arthur ready for bed and Arthur's so upset and so angry that he's not Merlin because he misses Merlin, and he's not there because Arthur sent him away because he lied about everything. Idk if many people noticed but George in the show actually wears really similar clothes to Merlin (including a scarf) but much more neatly. And anyway, Arthur actually gets a bit violent and yells at George and tries to take the scarf off. Gwen hears shouting and puts a stop to it, sends George away with an apology and then gives Arthur a piece of her mind. I don't recall exactly what was going to be said, but she was icy and furious, and it escalated to her yelling at him for the way he's treated her (including some hints Arthur will pick up on later when he's sober that Gwen's not okay), and for the way he's treated Merlin. At some point in the conversation Arthur finds out Gwen's been seeing Merlin and then that's all he can think about, asking her how is he. She doesn't really answer him except like "how do you think, given what you've done to him". I wish I remembered how I was going to end that scene, but that thing about Merlin was the pivotal point because Arthur's drunk and sad and he wants to see Merlin, and he knows that he's around the castle.

What's Merlin been up to in the meantime? He's very busy, actually. Seeing Gwaine, occasionally speaking to Mordred (they're not friends, but he'll humour Mordred if approached), going out with Gwen. He's up on a watchtower one night having a few drinks with Gwaine, who, for the first time, presses him about what happened with Arthur. After weeks of stewing in it more or less by himself and constant suspense of what Arthur's going to do with him he's tired of it all. And despite all his friends, he's also sad and lonely. He ends up telling Gwaine he has magic, and Gwaine accepts him of course and says Arthur's a fool, but it doesn't make Merlin happy. Leaves him a bit less weighed down, but the only person he really wants that reaction from is Arthur. And he betrayed Arthur by lying, and he's still hiding the dragonlord stuff from him. My recollection of Merlin's thought process from here is fuzzy, but that basically got Merlin onto thinking about Aithusa (which is why I had Merlin go to the dragon's cave and make that iron dragon) and how he failed her, and maybe he ruined his destiny but he can still try and help Aithusa.

So Merlin reads all the books on dragons and dragonlords and their magic and everything and anything that seems remotely useful. He just leaves the books out everywhere in his chambers because he's finally feeling passionate about something and is trying to ride that wave. In the end he sort of innovates this idea himself that although his magic doesn't work on dragons, he can command them in the dragon tongue, so if he commands Aithusa to obey his magic that might work. He brushes up on his dragon anatomy, because he has to work out how to spell Aithusa right again. And he sets out to the forest and calls her, and she comes, and he sings to her, for hours, in a blend of the old religion and dragon tongue, chanting over and over to convince her flesh to change itself. He can only work on really specific parts at a time and by dawn he's only managed to reduce her brow ridge or make her skull less broad or something really small like that, but he's done it. He can make her better. He comes back to the castle feeling more purposeful and happier than he has in months, since even before he told Arthur about his magic, and he goes into his room and... Arthur's there. Looking at all of his magic books.

Although I've just spoken at length about Merlin's POV I had no plans to write any of that in Merlin's POV, or maybe one chapter with Gwaine but nothing about Aithusa and studying. It's just important to me that I always know what all my characters are up to and how and why they are thinking/feeling something at any given time because it's a crucial part of how I shape their actions and dialogue, and an enormous factor in creating the story itself. They're all protagonists in their own lives.

So, Arthur, day after the feast, while Arthur and the reader are oblivious to Merlin's vivacious social life, his rediscovered passion for dragons and Aithusa, and Gwaine knowing about his magic. He crawls up to Gaius' chambers, checks Gaius is out, and plants himself in Merlin's room to wait for him because he has to speak to him. He doesn't know what he's going to say, he's just so lonely that he's drowning in it, and also miserable that Merlin could have died, but also a bit sick at how long and how easily Merlin lied to him for. And he walks in there and there's Merlin's magic books. Everywhere. On the desk, on the floor, on the bed, in the cupboard. Bestiaries and healing manuscripts and an ancient tome with Gaius' handwriting in it, and Merlin's annotations around the edges of the spells too, and dozens of books about dragons, and even a book on necromancy (from the Lancelot shade episode). And it sort of hits him that Merlin had this entire life he didn't know about, not just that he had magic and could have been caught, but that there was this entire world there and how much of his time and life Merlin dedicated to it.

Enter Merlin. Arthur says something about all the books and how he could be caught, and Merlin's like well, if anyone sees them, what are they going to do? Tell the king? Arthur, being Arthur, doesn't take that well, because he hasn't thought about the fact that it's his fault that Merlin has to fear prosecution, and has been for the past like three/four years. (Arthur's generally really slow to connect the dots on anything that requires emotional intelligence in this fic). He's the one putting Merlin in a position where he could be killed, and he says something along the lines of how he wouldn't hurt him.

I really wish I remember how the conversation reached the important moment because I had like this whole plan with a bunch of dialogue in my head and I know it took longer to get here, but Merlin gets angry about the imbalance that's always been there where Arthur wants to be friends but is happy to use his powers as king to interfere with their relationship when it suits him. (If you're wondering how this makes sense with Arthur having referred to using his power to help Merlin, it doesn't. Like I said this used to be longer, and it had a logical sequence. There was something about Arthur saying that Merlin was his friend and he wouldn't do that to him which kind of got this started, because Merlin's like you don't treat me like a friend because friends can't usually just order the other one to leave when they don't want to see them, referring to coming back from the cauldron. idk). Arthur tries to interrupt and defend himself, and Merlin uses magic to take away his voice for a few seconds and asks how it feels when your friend uses unimaginable power to stop you from speaking when they don't want to listen. He immediately returns Arthur's voice who's sort of in shock because he hasn't seen Merlin use magic since the cauldron, and also he'd never feared Merlin at all since the discovery and he's only just considering what it would have meant if Merlin had ever turned his magic against him, and how easily he could have hurt Arthur, and he never did. Arthur asks him why he did it, all these years, why he protected Arthur.

Merlin's quiet for a moment, and Arthur asks if it's because Merlin's in love with him. Merlin's a bit startled and ashamed and says no, that came years later. He did it because of who Arthur was, but also because it was his destiny, but destiny is all messed up now. Arthur can smell that he's getting close to some explanations for the first time in weeks since Merlin revealed everything and asks Merlin what he means about destiny, and Merlin is exhausted by the reminder of how much Arthur still doesn't know and he's kept secret, and they sit and have a very long discussion about Merlin's magic and life in Camelot.

I'm sorry to say that's as far as I had gotten. Merlin and Arthur's relationship was going to continue to dip back and forth a bit, with the reveal about the dragonlord thing being a bit of a setback, then about healing Aithusa, but that conversation in Merlin's chamber was a turning point for them and they were on an upwards trajectory. Arthur wanted to understand, and the more he learnt about Merlin and everything he'd done the more he sympathised with and was humbled by Merlin, and the transparency between them and amount of time they spent together made Arthur come more to terms with his feelings for Merlin.

What I was absolutely clueless on was how to fill in Gwen's arc, and the entire thing kind of crumbles without that. I had a vague idea that maybe she could strike out and find Morgana - I put in something about her being happiest as Morgana's maid in the last chapter I wrote, I think - and that would prevent the war, because having a friend would help Morgana heal. But Morgana was insane by then, and had literally tortured Gwen. That idea would perpetuate a lot of dangerous and hurtful stereotypes around the portrayal (or lack thereof) of black people's trauma, and how their own stories are pushed aside to service other people's. Sending Gwen, of her own volition, to be with and heal a woman who has tortured her and repeatedly tried to kill her? No. I wanted to fix the mistakes the show made with her trauma, not exacerbate them. Even without doing that to her it felt like I would have to end up making her step aside too happily for the sake of a gay relationship, which is misogynistic because that's treating my female characters like they're just things in the way of letting my male characters do what I want. Like Gwen doesn't have a right to be too hurt by her husband emotionally cheating on her because it's gay rep. And it wasn't my plan to write a polyamorous relationship either. Maybe I shouldn't have written it as a merthur story, but it was far too late for that. Besides, I still wouldn't know how to handle Morgana and prevent the battle of Camlann. Something with Mordred, but what?

I hope that's helped a bit, both in regards to finding out more and also, if not being able to find out the ending, at least understanding the directions my thoughts were circling in and where they got stuck. I'm extraordinarily flattered by your opinion of my fics, and that you cared enough to want to know more - thank you so so much - and very happy they could bring you some form of comfort. Best of luck anon with the news that you received. Sending you love and good wishes <3

#i answer #my fics

[swissarmymanbf]

hiii :] do u have any good spn fic recs?? i trust ur taste <3

HIIIII ANON first of ty for coming to me ily. second i dont know what you want exactly as spn fic is a very broad category but im just going to give you some that ive read and very much enjoyed :3

(fics will be under the read more bc this is kinda long)

a turn of the earth by microcomets: destiel, dean pov, 95k, slowburn. cas gets sent back in time and meets 22 year old dean. i am very bad with descriptions but this one is definitely worth reading, its the only long fic ive been able to read multiple times. (mature content warning towards the end)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon: destiel, dean pov, 21k. dean and cas have to kiss for a hunt. highly enjoyable, great writing, one of my favorites. (also mature content warning towards the end)

après by imogenbynight: destiel, cas pov, 24k. cas loses his grace and lands in paris, dean flies out to get him, and they have a sort of cute romantic holiday there. this one is really sweet!! also has a follow up, billet doux. (again, mature content warning towards the end)

the cost of a thing by quiettewandering: destiel, dean pov, 74k, fake relationship, slow burn. dean and cas are hunting something thats killing married couples and they have to pretend to be married in order to catch it.

adjust to the light by achillese: midam, 69k, au. adam is the only survivor of an uncaught serial killer. warning this one is kind of dark (not that much explicit violence but it does involve serial killers and the aftermath of attempted murder so. if that bothers you than tread carefully)

the world begins anew by clasch: destiel, dean pov, 1.2k, fluffy, christmas celebration. this one is really adorable and made me almost cry.

a new type of normal by chipper99: destiel, dean pov, 2k, fluff. cas thinks dean means a kiss when he asks if hes forgotten something but in reality he's talking about car keys. this one is really cute and funny :3

four seasons by thesongsmith: destiel, au, .7k. technically this should not be on a serious fic rec list bc its a crackfic but its also really funny. remember when the trump administration accidentally booked four seasons landscaping instead of the four seasons hotel? this is just that but destiel

well everybody's got a secret, sonny by luminoussbeings: 1.7k, sam and dean both think the other is homophobic.

brainstorm by astralpenguin: t4t channing/kevin (pre-relationship, theyre around 14) 1.2k, fluffy. channing helps kevin pick out a name.

jack goes to kindergarten by cowboydeanwinchester: outsider pov, background destiel, 2k. jack goes to kindergarten and the teacher meets his family.

veil by evol_love: harry/ed (ghostfacers), 8k. ed and harry both attend the deancas roadhouse wedding.

you care about what i eat. that’s what a husband does. you cook for me even when i don’t ask. that’s what a husband does. when i pass out you comb my hair so there’s no knots in it. that’s what a husband does. by goodbyechunkylemonmilk: midam, 6k. michael and adam get married at dennys. this one is really cute one of my absolute favorites.

white summer by mrbluesky: 5k, dean and claire are both trans and come out to eachother.

you have to break a few eggs by archangelgabriel: midam, 9k, au. adam works at a diner and michael keeps coming in at 1 am.

like a crown on a thorn by lusilly: samruby, 1.2k. character/relationship study, very good i really like this one.

we said something dumb, see by peterspajamas: annamary, 1.5k. anna and mary meet in a bar. excellent fic highly recommend, got me into annamary.

im gonna wrap this up here since its kinda long, if youve made it this far then i will do a bit of self promo and rec my own fics lolz (buzzcut season - dreamhunter fluff + please dont leave me - dean and claire bond) i hope you enjoy these!! if i think of any more ill rb this and add them on :]

#mailbox #anon #if u want anything more specific feel free 2 send another ask!!

[khaleesiofalicante]

hiii whats the fluffiest malec fluff youve written💕💕💕

I don’t know which one if the fluffiest malec fluff, anon. Seems hard to judge. But I am working on a few malec fics (A horrible decision, really) and here is a little peak for you :)

He moved away from Magnus and stared at the other man’s face. Alec used to think the view of Lake Lyn in Idris was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Boy was he wrong. He has only kissed Magnus a handful of times till now but yet every time felt like-

“What are you thinking about?”, Magnus asked, interrupting his thoughts. God, he’s beautiful. “You”, Alec said as he kissed his boyfriend’s forehead. “You” he said as he kissed his nose. “And you”, he laid a kiss on his cheek. “My, my, Alexander. That’s a lot of thoughts. What exactly are these thoughts of me about?”, Magnus asked, his voice both curious and nervous, as if he was slightly terrified of what Alec was thinking. Alec never wanted Magnus to be terrified of him. Never. 

“I was thinking what it was like to kiss you and realised that every time I kiss you I feel like... I’m on a rollercoaster.”, Alec confessed. It was the truth, that was genuinely what kissing Magnus felt like. “So kissing me makes you want to throw up?”, Magnus scoffed and looked a bit disappointed. “And since when did shadowhunters had the time to go on rollercoaster rides? I thought you were too busy for mundane entertainment.”. Magnus was right. Alec did not usually have time for mundane entertainment or any sort of entertainment in general. “Izzy”, he said in the way of explanation. “Ahh makes sense.” Magnus was tracing the voyance rune on his palm, something he did when he was nervous.

“I’ve only been on a rollercoaster once. It was at some mundane fair. Izzy took us after a mission to blow off some steam. I still remember that ride. I was excited because it was something new. Terrified a little bit, cause I didn’t where it was gonna go. But most importantly, I felt alive.” Magnus was looking at him now, his golden green eyes urging Alec to go on. “That’s how I feel every time I kiss you. It excites me, because every time feels new and like the very first time. It terrifies me a little cause I don’t know where this, us, is gonna go. But most importantly, I’ve never felt more alive than when I kiss you, Magnus.”

He waited for Magnus to say something. Anything. But instead, Magnus reached for his lips and kissed him again. And there it was. The rollercoaster. When they finally broke apart, Magnus whispered against his mouth, “I never want you to be terrified of me. Never.”

#thanks for asking anon #let me know what you think #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #malec fic sneaks

[quelsentiment]

hiii holiday pal, happy new year!! here's the big reveal! it has been so lovely chatting with you this month. i hope you had a wonderful new years eve! hanging out with your family sounds lovely. im back at my own place now and so i actually picked up an extra shift at my part time job on nye since i didnt have any plans anyways. it was super chill though! i definitely do miss my s.o. but we're trying to plan a visit soon. we went 6 months without seeing each other!

and aah yeah its wild that its 100k but def such a milestone. maybe if i had more thorough outlines i would have foreseen that it would be so long hahaha. but here we are and now its almost done! hows your big bang fic coming along? 50-60k sounds like a great length! and longer than anything youve written so far, so still a huge milestone! ooh historical aus are great. i probably should have some recs but i cant think of the fic names off the top of my head. i'll get back to you with some! i loove angst haha! and good banter is always fantastic to read. good dialogues really make a fic for me so its awesome to hear you write them!! anyways, happy new year again and wishing you all the best!! its been so lovely to be your holiday pal and i have really enjoyed chatting with you and getting to know you. lets please definitely keep talking even now that ive been revealed! sending all the good vibes for the first day of 2021! - Serena xx

hey Serena!!! it’s so nice to meet you 🥰 happy new year as well, i hope it brings you everything you need, be it love, peace, health, motivation, or just time for yourself 💕

that’s nice that your shift went well, i’m sure it must have been a bit peculiar to work on nye! and wow, i hope you can see your s.o asap, 6 months is A LOT 😌

aaaah i’m so excited because now i can check out your fics!! i hadn’t realized that you had posted the tattoo one as a wip, i’ll try to read it soon!

i haven’t touched my bb fic for the past 2 weeks, but i’ll probably get back to it in the next few days now that my family is gone (my mum decided to stay for another week though, so we’ll see if i have time to write haha)

oh if you have recs for historical fics i’m definitely interested! and lmk if you want some as well 😎

#it's been so nice chatting with you 💕 #and yes we should still talk of course! #good luck for the writing and the beginning of the term ✨ #holiday pal <3 #asks #tempolarriefix