#honestly I should just go to sleep

[stereopticons]

I love writing a sentence, deleting it again with the intention of writing something better, and then writing the exact same thing I just deleted.

#writing #honestly I should just go to sleep #but I had an idea

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[koszmarnybudyn]

Okay im back guys :) this started as go au then i tried to just draw them aged up and then i realized it just looked like the good okens au. Might also do Link, Scary and Taylor in a bit cause i like the design i made so yeah. Take it either as the au or just aged up.

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #normal oak #hermie the unworthy #my art #i can finally draw digitally again yay #i tried to draw actual good onens fanart but i unfortunetly cannot draw middle aged man no less celebrities so i gave up and drew this #i always make hermie too cool #also remembered when will said normally would dress in historical clothing as an adult cause i do #oh btw normal isnt madbor anything hes just flustered #oakworthy #full on demon/non nueclenian being hermie is so cool honestly #i always think of them both as nb #i should go get some sleep now

[shepards-folly]

WHO NEEDS GOD WHEN YOU CAN BE WORSHIPPED LIKE ONE?!

#shep arts #content smp #csmp #doctor4t #this was supposed to go up after i finished it but again i went back to sleep so uhm good morning part two here's more contentsmp #my friend said it was a crime for me to draw arathain without R4T cause i talk about them together so much #anyway lol drew this really quick so it doesnt parallel arathains properly also its just kinda wack in some places #i think they were just teasing me but i mean yeah.. I cannot shut the fuck up about them once i get started #honestly i still have no idea how to draw R4T... I think this is like the third time I've drawn him :/ #scratch that actually i dont know how to draw anyone on the csmp and thats a sin I need to atone for #we'll see if i draw more lol. i keep going I should draw this and then not drawing that at all #typical neurodivergent swag moment tbh #btw the caption is roughly taken from attention seeking demon by winchifrost #i think that's the lyric but tbh rn all the stuff bouncing around my head are all just song lyrics but a bit wrong so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

waking up means starting the day's long battle of fighting to stay conscious

#ough im so sleepy.... eepy even.... #i already slept so much but the couch is calling to me #'maybe a lil nap wouldnt hurt' < thats the demons talking #but honestly. what WOULD it hurt? its not like i have literally Anything going on in my life! #there is nothing i need to be awake for! #why shouldn't i doze. why shouldn't i.... #IM LOSING THE BATTLE #absolutely unprompted #i would like to scribble but im so tired... so sleepy... my eyelids are so heavy #just... just one little nap. an hour! or two. or five. lets go for a coma actually that sounds festive #a month long sleep should fix me (lie) #ill scribble some laughingstock later i prommy.... #awww wait tangent #my cat letti has started up a new game #where she shoves a toy under a shelf and then runs to the other side to try and fish it out from underneath #and then she shoves it back under rinse and repeat #she's so enthusiastic about it... practically throwing herself around as she bats the toy back and forth #oh nope she got it out and now she's tossing it around & playing cat soccer with it <3 #and i am going to go Nap. ive lost the battle <3 im waving a white flag <3 i surrender to diet death

[yummyyummie]

It's a good thing that Vexx hasn't thought of turning Marimoo into a serpent (yet), because she would not use her new powers responsibly - but that doesn't stop me from musing about it anyways for fun, like the time Mari almost became a demon while doodling on ideas for it but then didn't, in the dnd world i call that "playing with fire" but that's fun!

#tw vore #v0re #soft vore #safe vore #oc marimoo #my characters #she'd be too much of a weenie to actually fully digest anyone so she'd just be really annoying with how clingy Mari can be #honestly i should draw more demon mari just for the fun of it because that design is just sitting there otherwise #like glimpses into the demon route au where she and vexx get raunchy with it #anyways i should go sleep it's been a long day #enjoy my continuous musings

[patchworks-in-progress]

Fucking wet weasel of a man

(click for quality)

#secret actual funniest death option: he was like a used car salesman or smth and a tv just dropped on his head one day #then he decided to just go full tv personality since fuck it hes already got a box for a brain now #also i KNOW the hair is ass. drawing slicked back hair is HARD ok and i dont feel like trying a third time #honestly surprised he didnt reincarnate as a weasel with the face i gave him #obsessed with this guy i want to attach a magnet to his head #the vees are all so eepy i want to grind them into dust and snort them like cocaine #anyway should i do vel or val next? discuss #art #artist #digitalart #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin the vees #the vees #urghhhhhh its 3am time for sleep. i have a lecture tomorrow #artists on tumblr

[spielzeugkaiser]

I AM DONE 😭😭 Exam week is behind me, I am literally sobbing, I am exhausted beyond repair, but it is done!! Five more days of work and then I (hopefully) shall have my life back-

#I wanna draw so bad - but I also want to sleep for 14 hours straight #also I should probably really not work next week I landed myself both once at the doctors office and once at the hospital last week #when I said 'I will finish this week even if it kills me' my body was like. 👀 I can do that #but honestly that was my own stupidity also #I could take this to the educational route but let me just say if you do have an infected wound anywhere go 👏 to 👏 your 👏 doctor #that being said I have at least one exam finished with 100% (which wasn't THAT hard) and I can talk about autoimmune responses and then- #I cough and I die #academia yes but absolutely no common sense #i'm still having a fever tho #I wanna sleep till next year

[sodrippy]

i love waking up early but going to bed early??? is there no joy in this world??? must i be denied even the simplest of pleasures????

#honestly in an ideal world i wake up at 4am fuck around for 2 hours workout second-breakfast then office hours #unfortunately that means i have to go to bed at 6pm and thats insane behaviour even if i didnt finish work at 6 #we should have evolved out of needing so much sleep its really lame. except when its awesome #not to mention i have absolutely no energy living like this which is also so fucking sucks #like i want to DO stuff after work i want to read and paint and embroider #instead im so fucking tired i just die #anyway its fine ill adjust i just have to fahking soldier through. i think this week might be a washout though :/

[beinganegg]

Demon Max look at he go

#honestly I was going to say everyone is sleeping on this design including the VR game but I don’t know if it’s official ish or not? #like I’ve seen it once in a video of Poker Night where it was the design on the table and then I thought it was some sort of official art #but then I realized the game could have just been modded because I haven’t seen it in any other video #idk that’s my tangent of the day I guess but if it is an official design then yeah they should have used it in the VR game just sayin :/ #sam and max #sam and max fanart #freelance husbands

[oneechangoddess]

My job found out I was looking for a new job so they cut my hours from 30 to 9 for about a month. I found a new job and I was going to put in a two weeks before but I feel inclined to just not show up anymore. Am I wrong or would y'all just quit too?

#the reason i started looking for a new job was because they wrote me up whatever that means for apparently watching videos on my phone which #is a lie and i know it's a lie because they also said they had three meetings with me about it plus i just don't #they also said they found things misplaced on the shelf and since they didn't know who was doing it as one of the stockers they decided i #should get blamed for it because by their own words -well we just don't know who's doing it but you work stocking and the others say #it wasn't them- so it has to be me #honestly i feel justified after writing this I'm going to get food and go back to sleep

[thsc-confessions]

"I can't remember if I'm remembering things wrong or what, but i feel like I dreamed or thought VERY vividly that Henry ended up becoming like a famous music artist (specifically with a guitar or something along the lines of that) as like a mini AU that I just thought of and never did anything with."

".. maybe I should do something with it.." submitted by @toxsradioactivelocks

#ooh that sounds cool! #honestly musician henry is underrated imo you should totally do something if you can! 🙏 #OH YEA AND SORRY FOR BARELY POSTING </33 #I have been sooo tired like I've been sleeping 24/7 and it's never enough for some reason😭 #and I think I know why💔unfortunately I can't do anything abt it I just have to wait for it to come and go #BUT I WILL POWER THROUGH ‼️ #mod dave #thsc #thsc confession #thsc confessions #henry stickmin #@/toxsradioactivelocks

[vergilthelibrarian]

Yandereish!JenoxGNDrugAddict!Reader

CW:mentions of drug use, abuse, and trauma (it’s not that bad)

If I continue this, Jeno gonna become crazy also reader is very lovesick over Jeno

Enjoy ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

~

Jeno sighed as he saw you, closing his eyes for a bit before opening it once again, taking in the sight before him.

You were laying in a tub, your eyes hooded, breathing slowly. Jeno's eyes moved to the needle and spoon on the edge of the tub.

He sighed once more before getting on his knees and checking you, making sure you were okay.

His warm hand gentle touched your cheek, his thumb rubbing the skin, You leaned into his touch, finally taking notice of the man.

"J-Jeno?"

The man nodded, not saying a word.

A loving smile grew on your lips and Jeno gulped, his body stiffening and growing warm.

He always hated seeing you in this state. It always made him angry but knowing your past, his anger never really stayed for long.

You always had it hard.

Your parents were drug addicts, your mother even doing crack while she was pregnant with you.

They were also abusive So when you were 5 you were taken into foster care where you suffered even more abuse.

You never really did stood a chance at life.

Jeno licked his lips before moving his hand away and carefully picked you up from your bathtub like he would always do.

He carried you to your bedroom and laid you down on your bed.

He then left, decided to try to find something in your fridge for you to eat.

When Jeno first met you, you were already doing heroin.

It didn't deter the feelings he had for you, in fact it made him overly protective of you.

You were so vulnerable when you were high so whenever you did get high and he was around, he practically become your personal bodyguard, not trusting anyone near you, rightfully paranoid that you may get taken advantaged of.

Jeno open the fridge and saw that you didn't have much food again so decided to just order you some pizza, making a mental note to take you grocery shopping.

His friends never understood why he had feelings for you.

Hell, even Jeno himself didn't understand it at first. But soon he did and suddenly he started becoming clingy towards you which turned you off from him understandably.

He couldn't help himself honestly. He really did like you. He cared a lot about you and once genuinely cares for someone, he gets very clingy and needy.

Because of this, Jeno knew how to get you to warm up to him.

He toned down his neediness and began helping you little by little.

Needed some clothes? He'd take you shopping.

Needed some food? He'd get groceries delivered to your place.

Needed your phone to be turned back on? Not only will he turn it back on but he'll even put you on his plan.

All of this and more made you warm up to him and it even made you dependent on him a tad bit and because of that he soon would hear you talk about stories from your past.

First it was just good memories, a lot of it hilarious but at some point you became comfortab enough to tell him about your traumas, your hurt, your wounds and once Jeno realized this he knew that he had you.

Then he started taking you out on "platonic" dates, trying his best to whoo you.

He began buying you gifts and the look of surprise and love that you would give him always made him flushed, his body stiffening and his body becoming warm.

But you still weren't his... yet anyway. And though he quickly realized that he was in fact in love with you, because of you not being his, he still screwed around here and there.

What he didn't anticipate was for you to walk in on him.

The pain he saw in your eyes as it began to water, your face contorting into sadness as his name softly left your lips... he has never felt so much heartache to see you that way.

To see you hurt because of him.

Knowing everything about you from the stories you would tell him about your life, to threatening your few close friends to give him more info about you, and to seeing what you were going through now... he knew he fucked up but he wouldn't again.

Jeno knew he was meant for you.

He was meant to love you, to protect you, to provide for you, to be your world because on that fateful night, he realized that you were his world. That he would do anything and everything for you and that was the reason why he was here in your apartment right now. He came here to apologize and to finally man up and confess to you but he didn't expect to see you like this.

You had given Jeno a key to your place a while ago, telling him that he was welcomed to come over to your place anytime since you considered him your protector, albeit he texts you before he comes over.

Jeno went back into your room, sitting down on your bed, watching you as your high was finally beginning to come down.

He kicked off his shoes, crawling on the bed and laid down next to you, pulling you into his arms, entrapping you in a hug.

Closing his eyes, small tears began sliding onto the pillow that his head rested on.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." he whispered. "I promise to never hurt you again. I love you."

You sighed gently, your hands coming up to cradle his head.

"1 love you too..." you heisted slightly before your next words. "Do.. do you mean that? That you won't hurt me?"

Jeno nodded.

"Yes. I love you. I need you."

A small smile came on your lips before you placed you them softly on Jeno's plushed lips, giving him a kiss.

"Please don't ever leave me." you said in a shaky whisper.

Jeno tightened his arms round you, wanting you to be as close to him as humanly possible.

"I won't.”

#aight y’all how we feeling bout this #this just kinda popped into my head honestly #now I should eat some Oreos and then go to sleep ^^ #nct yandere #yandere nct #yandere nct dream #yandere jeno #nct x reader #nct x male reader #nct dream x reader #nct dream x male reader #jeno x reader #jeno x male reader #jeno angst #nct dream angst #nct agnst

[transhitman]

The Tickster mts* transition timeline

*masochist to sadist

#for a person who's lived a hundred years they have surprisingly few looks #i like to imagine in their revengequest they actually managed to down the party wizard by taking him by surprise in his sleep #hence the bloody claw hammer lol #failed immediately after that though after getting shot point-blank by the world's first gun #they hired them as their janitor because the wizard respected the fuck out of them and thought there might be something weird and arcane #going on with them (true). But Ticky thinks it was out of pity (also true) and they probably should have just killed them #(Not true but honestly a reasonable thing to think after they broke into their house and beat the shit out of one of them)

[equalseleventhirds]

the more gomens2 i consume the stronger the urge grows to go 'if x event had happened in the bookverse it would've been y instead'

but that would be fun only for me and like, five select mutuals, and would simply torment everyone else and probably draw the ire of some fans. so i won't.

#honestly i just got out of a recording session which i jumped into shortly after home from work #so tbh i SHOULD go the fuck to sleep #might hang out n reblog some stuff. unrelated stuff. should defs stop watching gomens for tonight. #.....................book!aziraphale in 2023 would not only know what twitter is and how it works but would also have a deep disdain for it #with an additional shudder of horror once the rebranding happened #he also knows what grindr is but has never had occasion to use it. he's got other ways to get dates (telling crowley it's date night). #okAY I'M DONE #good omens blogging #gomens spoilers

[raiiny-bay]

x

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #blood tw #myedits #mb #teeth #red #the link just goes to the mb playlist i'm working on #i'm going for like. a combo of electric & metal. a mix. #full disclosure: i didn't know most of these songs prior to putting them on said playlist #i just thought they suited them #the songs are also not in any particular order. i don't have the brain for that. i started to order them & promptly gave up #credit to luxe for commenting abt the perturbator song on my last mb post also #bc honestly that is like the exact vibe i imagined for them #& hearing it is what made me want to make a playlist for them in the first place lol #n e way i should go to bed now before i accidentally stay up until 3 am again. #my sleep schedule is soooo bad rn it's ridiculous #ok gn :-)