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#also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid
thranduel · 8 months
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some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing
when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.
BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.
you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.
apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.
that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭
but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.
obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.
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aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3
#astarion#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭#also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid#he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way#especially after everything he’s been through#and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING#anyways#when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry#there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him#but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while#and i wanted to cry#he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that#honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because ->#in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself#and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time#and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready#but also#for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely#or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond#the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3#but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy#my posts
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gojorgeous · 3 months
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"creature of myth."
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pairing: vampire!gojo x fem!human!reader summary: when you receive an offer of marriage from a mysterious wealthy lord, it’s too good a deal for your family to turn down. but nothing could be so perfect... right? content: MDNI (18+  ONLY), dark content, nsfw, gets dubcon/noncon in some spots, yandere behavior from gojo, implied death/k*lling of a character (not reader or gojo), arranged marriage, victorian au, plot that ends with porn lmao, spooky dooky vibes, blood, blood sucking/eating, praise, biting, unprotected sex, creampie, virgin!reader, discussion of virginity, cherry popping, pain, pet names (princess/love), reader is highkey clueless about sex, discussion of masturbation, ideas of masturbation as “sinful”, very minor religious themes, fated “mates”, gojo is highkey insane, coercion and manipulation, like SO much neck kissing, ooc gojo??? (had to alter his character to match a victorian vampire lord LMAO). a/n: PLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS. THERE IS DARK CONTENT AHEAD. is this a gojo fic or a twilight fic?? Going back to my roots fr fr. straight down to the “SAY IT, SAY IT”. this fic is also way too long my apologies bbs. i hope you like a hefty side of plot with your porn. parts of this fic feel way too cheesy to me but sometimes i eat that up, yk?? this fic was inspired by this amazing work by @rice5x ! and, finally, thank you all for the support on my most recent fics. i'm just getting back into being active on this blog and it's been amazing reading each and every comment/reblog/ask. they genuinely fill me with so much joy. keep them coming hehe. anyway, i hope you enjoy and remember, ALL AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED. credits: dividers by @cafekitsune. banner art by @ndsoda on twitter. wc: 11.6k (sowwy)
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You remember perfectly the way your mother’s jaw dropped when Satoru Gojo proposed to you. You’d never seen the man, and you still hadn’t. He’d asked to marry you via messenger, a simple letter delivered by hand with a list of all the things he’d be willing to pay for your hand. Offers of money, land, protection, connection- anything so long as he got you. You’d thought it was a joke. Your father nearly took a shovel to the head of the poor messenger, thinking the letter was some kind of cruel prank, some sort of targeted disrespect. You’d only started to believe when you really looked- saw the Gojo crest embroidered on the man’s suit, the fine leather of his boots. If it was a prank, somebody had spent a great deal of money and effort to pull it off. 
You’d asked for proof nonetheless, and you’d gotten it. Documents signed and sealed with a well-known waxen crest, gifts that could only have been purchased by a wealthy lord. The one thing you never got was the lord himself. He refused to see you, to come down from his mysterious castle on the hill. It didn’t surprise you. He rarely deemed town worthy of his presence. He had a reputation as a recluse, as a man who only ever liked to see and never be seen. What little glimpses people got of him were usually through the dark window of his carriage. Still, his appearance preceded him. White hair, light eyes… “haunting” said those who had the luck to see him. Those who went to work for the lord tended to return… changed— if they returned at all. 
You accepted, of course. How could you not? You were a peasant family with no status or wealth to your name. The promises Lord Gojo had made would make your parents into aristocrats all on their own. But that left you wondering… why did he want you? You offered him no benefit. If anything, you sullied his bloodline. The question scratched at the back of your mind. It came to you while you ate breakfast, while you washed your clothes, while you weeded in the garden. Some part of you told you that you needed the answer before you ever stepped foot in that castle. You needed that answer, but you’d never get it. 
Your wedding wasn’t even a wedding- just a piece of paper that had already been signed and witnessed, once again delivered by a familiar messenger. You signed at your dining room table and… that was that. You were married. 
Later that night the carriages arrive. Men flood your home, all dressed in blue velvet, the Gojo crest embroidered on their chests. They seem puzzled when you tell them you’ve packed all your belongings into a measly three bags. 
You say a quick goodbye to your parents, drawing them into stiff embraces. You love them, and they love you, but you can’t bear to see their faces as they send you away to a man who couldn’t even show his face for your wedding. 
The carriage ride is somehow longer than you’d thought it would be- apparently, the castle’s size makes it seem deceptively close. The trip is rocky and twisty and altogether unpleasant as you steadily make your way toward the castle gates. By the time you reach them you think you’ve probably dozed in and out of consciousness at least half a dozen times. 
The castle is even more intimidating up close. Spires that swirl into the clouds, sculptures that stare, doors that look more suited to being locked than opened. It’s… terrifying. 
When you finally roll to a stop, you move for the door. When you swing it open you get your fair share of strange looks from your attendants and remember that you should have waited for the footman. Your face heats as you climb out anyway, unwilling to subject yourself to the further humiliation of waiting for assistance. 
Your feet hit gravel and all you can do is stare- up, up, up, to where the castle’s peaks disappear into the fog. When your eye flashes to a window on the east side of the manor you think you see a swaying curtain. You tuck your arms around yourself and shiver, but it’s not from the cold. 
You nearly stumble over your feet on your first step inside. The entrance hall is larger than your former house, with ceilings that stretch so high you can hardly make out the figures on the frescoes that adorn it. Silver and blue drape everywhere, the Gojo family colors. You swallow when you see a chair that is most definitely worth more than your family’s annual income. 
The floors are marble and when your worn heels clack against it, you only feel reminded that you don’t belong here. That question pricks in your mind again as you pass portraits of every Gojo heir to have lived in the last three hundred years. Why me? Why me? Why me? 
Your footman deposits you in your room, a place more lavish than you’ve ever seen. You have a four poster bed with a canopy of blue velvet, a window that overlooks a sprawling estate, and more square footage than you’ve ever dreamed of. 
“Pull this if you need any sort of assistance, ma’am.” 
You turn to see your footman referencing a silver cord at your bedside. You assume it’s one of those contraptions that rings a bell in the servants’ quarters. You try to hide your amazement- you’ve never seen one in real life before. 
You clear your throat and give your most ladylike nod. “Thank you, um-” you pause, your brow furrowing. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I asked your name.” 
Your footman appears stunned to silence, like he’d never expected you to care about his existence, much less his name. He recovers quickly, though, and forces a small smile. “Thomas, ma’am.”
You smile and it’s genuine. “Thank you, Thomas.”He bows and makes a beeline for the door, but you have one more question. “Oh, um, Thomas-” He freezes, turning slowly on his heel to face you. 
“Yes, my lady?” 
You cringe at the title. The sound of it creeps across your skin, foreign and… wrong. Why me? Why me? Why me?
You clear your throat again. “Do you know, um, well-” You shift, trying to word your question properly. “Do you know when I might see the Lord?” 
There is a pause, a moment of tension and silence, and then an answer. “No, my lady.”
Thomas does not stick around for more questioning. The door clicks shut behind him and then you're left with only the sound of retreating footsteps. 
You’re stunned to say the least, mouth still halfway open, more questions on the tip of your tongue. Should you seek him out? Was that proper? Would he come to you? Would he meet you for dinner, perhaps? Surely he would come to your room tonight to… consummate. Would that be the first time you lay eyes on him? When he’s over you? 
You sigh. There’s nothing much to be done about it now. You find your way to the bed and sit down hesitantly. It feels like a crime to rumple such primped and polished cotton. You do it anyway- it’s going to happen sometime, right? You fall back against the mattress and don’t fail to notice how utterly comfortable it is. The silvery patterns on your canopy swirl and bend together. You’re tired. You didn’t sleep much last night, anxious for the morning… and it’s only mid-afternoon now. You had time for a nap, right? Your eyes are closing before you can convince yourself it’s a bad idea and then you’re swept away into a world of warm darkness. 
You wake with a start. Your first thought is that it’s dark now. Your room is pitch black except for the stream of moonlight passing through your stupidly large window. Your mouth feels dry and your skin is cold, like you’ve just woken from a nightmare. If you have, you don’t remember it. Perhaps that’s a blessing. 
You sit up, combing a finger through your hair and laughing pitifully when you realize that you left your shoes on as you slept. You hope Thomas didn’t walk in to find you in yet another unladylike position. A glance at the foot of the bed reveals he might have. Your bags have arrived- all three of them. You eye them with a combination of longing and contempt. They don't match this place. They’re worn and used- everything here is shiny and new. Still, they’re all you have, and all you have left of your life before. All you have left of home. 
You stretch your arms above your head, nearly groaning at the burn in your muscles. The carriage ride did your body no favors and you suspect you’ll be sore for many days to come. 
You rise, no longer content to lie in bed. You’ve had your rest and, from the state of darkness outside, you suspect your new husband might be joining you soon. The thought twists a certain tightness into your gut, but you push it aside. If that was the price you paid for all he gave your family… then you’d pay it gladly. 
You start with candles, finding a box of matches at your bedside. You light every candelabra you can find. The room, the castle, seems so perpetually… black- like it soaks up every ray of light it touches. Even when you’ve finished it doesn’t feel like enough. You make a note to ask Thomas for more in the morning. 
You find a meal, carefully prepared and preserved, on a table near your dresser. Judging by the fact that it’s still warm, you conclude that it can’t be much past mid-evening. You originally intend to pick at the food as you unpack, but one bite has your mouth watering. It is the most delicious thing to ever touch your lips, complete with dessert waiting on the side. You clean your plate before moving onto your bags. 
You lay your clothes out on the bed. A few dresses, riding pants, undergarments, an assortment of ribbons and bows. At one time these items had been the finest things you owned- now you owned a castle. 
You find an armoire that looks like a master sculptor carved its edges and grab a dress, intending to hang it. Instead, your dress hits the floor when you part the doors to find the hangers already full. Your lips part. Luxury dresses of silk and satin line the rack, fading into some that appear more casual outfits of cotton and linen. You stretch a hand out, curious and utterly… amazed. To think your new husband had gone to all the effort… Your hand brushes purple silk and- 
“Do you like them?” 
You screech, jumping to face the voice at your back. It takes a moment for your eyes to find him, leaning casually against one post of your bed. Your breath is stolen for a second time. Snow white hair, piercingly blue eyes, pale soft skin… you know who he is even without looking at his dress, at the air of authority he claims. He’s your husband… and he is the most devastatingly beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. 
He laughs, then, and it’s a warmer sound than you’d thought it would be- rich and full. A sound that seeps into your bones and settles in your soul. 
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, but the twinkle in his eyes makes you think that perhaps that’s a lie. 
Your heart pounds and your eyes flash to the door. It’s shut. You didn’t hear it open, nor did you hear it close behind him. You also didn’t hear footsteps, didn’t hear breaths, didn’t hear him. 
He follows your gaze and laughs again, though it sounds a bit… strained? 
“I have a habit of being unintentionally lightfooted. I apologize.” 
Your heart is still pounding but you find it in yourself to have some decorum. You snap your jaw shut and bow your head slightly in respect. “You must be Lord Gojo. Forgive me for my insolence.” 
There’s a beat, and then footsteps– ones you actually hear this time. You clench your jaw when he stops before you and then nearly gasp when he takes your hand and brings it to his lips. 
“Satoru, please,” he winks and you think you might stop breathing. “I am your husband after all.” 
You force yourself to nod, to swallow, to act normal. But how can you in the presence of a man that looks like… that? There’s something too unreal about him, too perfect. It’s almost… unsettling. 
“Of course… Satoru.” 
He straightens and shows you a close-lipped smile that digs a dimple into his left cheek. You have to look away to avoid stumbling over your own feet. 
“So, do you like them?” Your brows furrow- “The dresses,” he clarifies. 
“O-oh.” Your features relax into an easy smile. You turn back to your armoire, running a hand along another gown. You don’t think you’ve ever touched something so… finely made. “I like them very much. I don’t know how to thank you.” 
There’s a little chuckle as you turn to face him again and you have to steel yourself before you meet his eyes. He’s mesmerizing, too mesmerizing. You think you could probably lose yourself in those eyes forever… 
“No need to thank me. If they don’t fit, we’ll call for the seamstress in the morning.” 
You nod softly, still lost to the situation. There’s a beat of silence in which your husband does nothing but… look at you. His eyes roam freely and the hair on your arms stands under his gaze. He traces the lines of your nose and jaw and lingers on your pulse. Can he see just how fast your heart is pounding?
“Did you… get dinner?” It’s a stupid question, you know, but you don’t think you can bear another second of that look he’s giving you. “I fell asleep and found a plate. I hope I didn’t prevent a proper meal…” You trail off. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pointed out your own shortcoming? 
He gives you another smile and you swear he inches just a little closer. “You did no such thing. I’m… perfectly satisfied.” 
You nod, glad that he doesn’t seem upset at the very least. Your lips press together, unsure of what to do or say. You’ve never had a husband before. Wasn’t he supposed to just sort of… put you on the bed and… do it?
Your eyes flit to said bed and your husband must see because he hurries to continue. 
“Well, I’ll see you in the morning then, hm?” His eyes flit to your armoire and back again. “Wear the blue dress with the lace to breakfast, yeah? Been dying to see it on you.” He chuckles like he’s just told some sort of amusing joke.
Your brows furrow. That was… not the topic you’d been expecting. “You’re not…” You feel your cheeks heat and tighten your jaw. “Not staying the night?” 
His lashes lower a fraction and those eyes pierce you again. You don’t think you could move even if you wanted to, even with him prowling closer, each step eating up the space between you. He doesn’t stop until you’re nose to nose and you can feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. It’s cold somehow, chilling, and you shiver. He smirks. 
“Not tonight.” 
His head dips and for a moment you think he’s going to kiss you, but then he’s bypassing your mouth altogether and- his lips connect to your pulse. His mouth is cool, just like his breath, and you shiver uncontrollably under his touch. 
His touch is just a fleeting moment, just a wrinkle in time, and then he’s gone. His footsteps are quiet brushes on the hardwood and the creak of the door even seems tamed in his presence. 
“Goodnight,” is all he says, and then he’s gone. 
You climb into your bed an hour later wondering what in the world just happened. 
~  
You do wear the blue dress to breakfast and you can only gape in the mirror when you realize that it fits perfectly. It has you second-guessing yourself. Had you sent your measurements in advance and forgotten about it? No, you’d only sent a handful of pieces of information to the Lord prior to your marriage and you remembered all of them very clearly. Everything had gone through a messenger, everything had been clear and direct– you would have remembered sending your measurements– you didn’t. So had he just… guessed? 
That seemed impossible with how everything fit you like a glove, but it was the only explanation you had. The only one that made sense. 
When you join Satoru for breakfast it’s in a sitting room as lavishly decorated as the rest of the castle, but perhaps organized to be a bit more… liveable. He has no plate in front of him, only a tin cup that hides the contents of whatever he’s drinking. You assume coffee or juice. Perhaps he’s just not a breakfast person. 
“It fits!” he says. His hands clasp together in front of him and he smiles again, dimples and all. 
You nod and fight the heat that bubbles beneath your cheeks as you take your seat. “Yes, perfectly.”
A plate is set before you and a glance up reveals it’s Thomas serving your breakfast. You smile, hoping for some acknowledgement from him, for a small piece of comfort. Instead, you get his averted gaze and quick retreat. Your brows furrow, but before you can say anything, Satoru is back to speaking. 
“I hope Thomas treated you well yesterday?” 
You glance up, but Satoru’s eyes aren’t on you, they’re on your footman. His smile is bright, but it’s anything but friendly. You fight a shiver. 
You glance at Thomas. He’s perfectly still, perfectly straight, but you think you see a muscle clench in his jaw. You clear your throat. “Y-Yes. Thomas was very helpful.” When Satoru keeps staring the boy down you add, “-and very respectful.” 
That seems to satisfy. Satoru breaks his stare and some of the tension in the air instantly eases. He shoots you another dimpled smile, this one with a little more warmth. “Perfect.” 
There’s a beat and then he’s standing, draining whatever he has in his cup and then straightening his jacket. “Well, I have some work to do. I’ll see you for dinner?” He’s grinning again, like it’s so normal for a man to abandon his bride on their wedding night and then again the morning after. All you can do is nod. He chuckles. “See you then, princess.” And then he’s gone.
~
If this is to be your life you don't know how you will survive it. You spend the day milling about. Through the gardens, through the castle, through the stables. Thomas is never far behind, but any attempt at conversation is nipped in the bud by hit shortness. It’s like he fears coming too close. He’s never closer than a couple paces except when he has to bring you something, only to retreat again as soon as possible. The other servants barely pay you any mind apart from giving you a respectful greeting and then immediately averting their eyes. There is no work to be done, no guests to be had, no parties to plan… and no Satoru. You don’t see your husband once on tour around the grounds. You ask Thomas where his office is only for him to vaguely point out a window in the east tower. You don’t see so much as a ripple in the curtains. 
Dinner comes around at the pace of a snail. When it’s finally time to get dressed a lady’s maid whose name you don’t even catch arrives to help you lace your dress. As soon as your corset is deemed tight enough she’s back out the door with a curtsy. Thomas leads you to the dining room and your eyes roam the whole way. Even after having spent the whole day exploring, there are halls and corridors that you’ve yet to step foot in. 
The dining room is just as gorgeous as the rest of the place– filled with singular items that could feed entire families for years. Somehow, you think you’ve already grown accustomed to such things, since the only thing you truly care to look at is your husband. Satoru’s already seated, but he stands when you enter, looping around the table to pull a chair out for you. 
You give him your most genuine smile, accepting a kiss to your knuckles in greeting before you settle. “How was your day?” you ask as he takes his seat again. 
He chuckles. “Perfectly fine. And how was yours, princess?” Your nose crinkles. That’s the second time he’s called you that. Something about it feels wrong. You’re still getting used to being a lady. Princess feels even worse. 
“It was… good.”
You watch a perfect white brow arch in the candlelight. “Oh? Just good?” You don’t miss the way his eyes flicker to the corner– to Thomas. 
You hurry to elaborate. “Well, I just– I can’t help but feel as if there’s not much… use for me.” Servants flood in, some carrying wine, others carrying trays that hold more food than the both of you could ever possibly consume. 
That brow arches impossibly higher. “Use?” His lips crack into that smile again, but it’s tight this time. Too tight. “You have no use. You only enjoy yourself. Surely Thomas has told you that.” 
A plate of steaming food plops in front of you. Even its heavenly smell can’t quell the sudden dread in your gut. “Of course! Of course he did.” Your stomach twists and you decide that perhaps now is not the time to press the subject. “I’ll just… I’ll try riding tomorrow.” You hate riding, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind. 
Satoru’s smile thaws into something less menacing. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.” 
You nod eagerly. “I’m sure I will.” 
You grab your fork, eager for a new subject. From what you can tell, dinner is roast chicken and vegetables, though it’s the luxury version as everything seems to be. The spices are intoxicating and the green beans are even arranged in a pretty little pattern that makes them look too good to eat. You do anyway. The first bite nearly makes you moan, but you chew slowly, delicately, trying not to let your upbringing show.
It’s not until several bites later that you realize you’re the only one eating. A quick glance reveals your husband has no platter, no chicken or green beans. He’s only… watching you. You clear your throat, dabbing at your lips with a napkin. 
“You’re not… eating?”
That permanent smile grows a little wider and you can’t help but feel as if there’s something… menacing about it. “Ate before I came.” 
Your brows furrow. “Oh. Were you on the road?” 
You think you see something wild flash in his eyes. “No.” 
The rest of dinner passes slowly, almost painfully. Satoru doesn’t eat a bite, doesn’t even look enticed. You wonder how that’s possible when it smells like a spice bomb went off in the dining room. 
By the time you’ve cleared your plate you’ve discussed everything from the number of horses in the stables to kinds of crops grown on the estate. It’s comforting to know a little more about your new home, but it’s not enough. 
“Is there a library?” you ask. You’re on dessert now. It’s the best chocolate cake you’ve ever had and it takes everything in you to hold back a moan each time it touches your tongue. 
“Of course.” Your husband’s eyes flicker to Thomas again and you’re honestly starting to fear for the poor footman’s life. Everytime you ask a question it’s like Satoru is angry it hasn’t already been answered. “It’s yours to use as you please.” 
You smile lightly. “Perfect. Thank you.” 
He softens a bit at that. “Is there anything specific you wanted to read about?” 
You shrug. “The estate, I suppose. I should know my home’s history, no?”
His eyes get that wild look again, that sparkle that you know speaks to nothing good. “Oh, absolutely. I have some personal favorites to recommend. I’ll leave them aside for you?” 
You swallow and give him a shallow nod. “That would be perfect. Thank you.” 
He chuckles. “My pleasure.” 
When dessert is finally over, you stand slowly. Satoru’s not far behind you, saying he’ll walk you to your room. Your heart leaps at his words. Will he stay with you tonight? 
He offers you his arm in the hall and your mouth runs dry when you feel the corded muscle beneath his jacket. By the time you reach your room, you’re thinking of tugging him in behind you. His denial to stay with you last night was not only confusing, but… off putting. Nearly offensive. Did he not like how you looked? Did he think something was wrong with you? 
You muster all the courage you possess and force your lips apart. “Will you stay with me tonight?” 
His eyes spark again and you hold your breath. He presses closer. This is it, you think. His lips hover over yours, eyes glimmering in the candlelight. And then he dips his head, his mouth pressing to your pulse. 
“Not tonight,” he whispers– and then he’s gone. 
~
You wake suddenly. It’s the middle of the night, you gather. The light streaming through the window is weak enough to only be that of the moon. 
Your heart is pounding and your skin is slick with sweat despite the chill in your bones. A nightmare, you think. It must have been a nightmare. 
As you settle back into your sheets you swear you see a ripple in the darkness. You close your eyes. If your nightmare is real, you’d rather not see it coming.
~
The library is huge. It’s sprawling and smells of paper and leather and everytime Thomas lights a candle you flinch at the idea that one misplaced spark could end thousands of years of knowledge. 
The books Satoru left you are… perfect. Just what you were looking for. They’re all comprehensive volumes of the history of the estate, many of which reference each other. You’re stunned to see that several are written by very well-known authors of both the past and the present. You knew the Gojo family’s influence reached far, but not that far. You peruse the titles. The Gojos: A History, A History of the Gojo Crest, History of the Gojo Castle, Revisiting the Gojo Family: A Comprehensive History. Altogether you have well over a few thousand pages of information– but there’s one book that doesn’t fit with the rest. It’s relatively unassuming. A black cover with some sort of gold rune etched onto its front. When you flip to the title page it reads “Creatures of Myth and Where To Find Them”. Your brows furrow. You slide it to the side– must have gotten mixed in with the others, you think.
~
You ask Thomas to bring the books to your room. He does. Very respectfully. He sets them on your bedside table and then retreats like a kicked puppy with only a polite goodbye. You sigh. His behavior has only gotten stranger in the past few days. You think the servants’ coldness must have something to do with Satoru, but you can’t figure out why. Had he ordered them to stay away? Why would he? 
You decide it’s a question for another day and dive into your books. You spend hours, days, reading every chapter, page, and word. The pure amount of information is dizzying. Apparently this specific estate had been in the hands of the Gojo family since the eighth century (with several razings and consequential rebuilds). You also learn that Satoru was not only the most wealthy lord on the continent, but the most wealthy man. Even wealthier than the king apparently, though that fact was kept fairly under wraps to protect the crown’s ego. The estimates of your husband’s net worth made your head spin.
Satoru joins you for breakfast and dinner every day. You never see him eat a morsel. It’s… unsettling to say the least. It’s always just that tin cup, filled with something you could never quite see. You develop a pattern of waking in the night, too, with the overwhelming sense that something is watching you. Sometimes you could swear you feel the bed shift as you jerk awake. Each time you simply close your eyes and try your best to slow your heart, convinced your mind is playing tricks on you. 
Your days feel a little more productive with a book in your hands, but you’ve read them all three times over by the time a fortnight has passed. You find yourself packing them up to return to Thomas when a certain black cover catches your attention. You grab it from the pile and settle back into your seat. You’ve nothing better to do, right? 
You flip back the cover, revealing a familiar title. “Creatures of Myth and Where to Find Them”. You don’t recognize the author’s name. A quick scroll through the table of contents reveals nothing particularly interesting, but you pick a random chapter on ghouls and decide to start there. 
It’s fascinating. Nothing about the style is boring and the words fly by. Your silly little myth book is a page turner. By the time you notice the light has started dying you’ve read about ghosts, fairies, werewolves, and goblins– all of which have been a delightful little read. A glance at the clock reveals you have a half hour before dinner. One more chapter, you think. Your eyes skim the title. “Vampires [Vampyr]”. 
You skim the first paragraphs until your eyes settle on a line that catches your eye. 
“Contrary to popular belief, vampires are not always crazed blood-hungry monsters. Many live among humans quite comfortably and are able to avoid detection with a little well-placed effort.” 
You purse your lips. What a… terrifying thought. You skim a little further. 
“A vampire’s key characteristic is, of course, their desire and need to drink human blood as sustenance. However, a vampire can be spotted sooner if one is able to recognize their subtler traits. Vampires often have skin lacking any sort of flush. The lack of blood in their veins results in a sickly pallor, even after the most rigorous exercise. Their skin is also noticeably cold to the touch. At best, a vampire’s body will reach room temperature. Vampires can also be noted for their preternatural beauty. They will stand out as the most attractive person in any crowd. Finally, a vampire will have fangs. If one wishes to identify a vampire, one only needs a good look at their teeth”.
A chill settles over your skin. You flip ahead a few pages. 
“Vampires are unable to consume typical human food. Should they attempt to, their bodies will immediately reject any and all foreign substances.” 
Your stomach drops. You don’t want to think about why. You skip the rest of the paragraph. 
“Vampires possess several supernatural abilities that set them apart as a human’s predator rather than their equal. Vampires are known to move unnaturally fast and are notably light footed. If a vampire does not wish to be heard, they will not be. A vampire’s strength is inhuman, well over ten times that of the average man. They also have a penchant for darkness, an ability to hide away in the shadows that cannot be explained. Oftentimes they will seem to appear from thin air.”
You skip ahead again.
“Vampires have been known to take mates. Mates usually come in the form of another vampire, but in some cases a human has been chosen. Vampires are fiercely protective of their mates, bordering on obsession. Any person deemed a threat to their bond or their mate’s safety is usually disposed of quickly. Oftentimes, vampires make these decisions with haste, with little regard for whether or not the threat was real. A vampire will do everything in their power to please their mate, but have been known to forcibly restrain their mates in situations of unrequited feelings. Above all else, vampires wish to possess their mates. Two bonded vampires will sometimes spiral into gloriously destructive fits in their endless desire to protect and possess one another. A vampire bonded to a human will show an increasingly protective nature, often isolating their mate from others.”
Your heart pounds. A bead of sweat rolls down your back. You flip the pages, desperate– desperate for a piece of information that will save you from the thoughts spilling in your mind, from the thoughts you will do anything not to believe. You reach the “Where to Find Them” subsection and nearly gasp with relief. Surely, vampires do not pose as wealthy lords of Europe? 
“Vampires can be found everywhere. They do not exist in only one country or continent, but all over the world. Odds are that you have faced at least one vampire in your life, unknowingly or not. Some vampires choose to live solitary lives, surviving in the wilderness where human society will not attempt to tame their wild nature. Others choose to live among humans, some even existing in positions of very high authority.” 
No, no, no. This can’t be happening to you. It can’t be real. You’re dreaming, you’re having one of those nightmares again. You’re going to wake up any second. 
“One tale recounts a razing of the Gojo estate in the 12th century.” 
You’re panting, hyperventilating. This isn’t happening. 
“Soldiers of the enemy force recounted a singular man, the son and heir of the then Lord Gojo, taking out a minimum of 800 men. He was described as having his family’s characteristic white hair as well as blue eyes. Eyewitness accounts depict the Gojo heir as covered in blood and killing savagely and with inhuman strength.” 
No, no, no. 
“(See next page for only existing portrait)”
Your fingers tremble but you can’t stop them. There’s no way. It’s not possible. 
You flip the page and Satoru stares back at you. 
Knock! Knock! Knock!
You nearly scream. Your door rattles angrily, but you’re not sure you can answer it, not with the knowledge flooding your mind. The knocking continues. You run your hand over your face and smooth down your hair. You feel frazzled, dirty, despite not having moved from your chair all day. Another knock prompts you to set your book aside and stand. You do your best to compose yourself, to put on a straight face. You fail instantly when you pull back the door not to reveal your faithful attendant, not Thomas, but Satoru. 
You bite back a shriek and instead force a smile. You’re suddenly very aware of the blood pounding in you veins and of the fact that he most likely knows. 
“Hello,” he says, but his voice is lower than usually, more intense. 
You force a breath into your lungs. “Hello,” you answer, but it sounds more like a squeak than a greeting. 
Something flashes in his eyes, something familiar, something that is no longer interesting but rather terrifying. “Are you alright? You seem a little… flushed.” The concern on his face feels anything but genuine. 
“I’m fine,” you answer, but even you can tell that reply too quickly, too eagerly. You rush to cover it up. “Is it time for dinner? Where’s Thomas?” 
His lip twitches and you see a muscle in his jaw flex. “Thomas has… left us.” 
No. This wasn’t happening to you. There was no way this was happening to you. 
“He… what?” There’s an unmistakable wobble in your voice that only causes Satoru’s face to fall further. 
“It’s no matter. He’s gone. Now it’s just you and me, hm?” He chuckles and the sound rattles your bones. “In fact, I was thinking I’d cut down on the number of servants we have entirely…” 
You mind races with the memory of knowledge you wish you didn’t have. “Vampires are fiercely protective of their mates, bordering on obsession. Any person deemed a threat to their bond or their mate’s safety is usually disposed of quickly.”
You nearly stumble, but lean against the doorframe just in time. Your husband had disposed of a man, all because he brought you meals and books?
“What have you been up to today, princess?” The question breaks your trance just in time for you to see your husband’s eyes flicker behind you. 
You wet your lips. “Just some reading.” You plead that he doesn’t ask anything further. He does. 
“About the estate?” he asks. 
You nod and try to swallow the lump in your throat. “Yes.”
His smile returns and this time it’s not forced. “You got my books, then?” 
You try smiling back, but you’re fairly sure it looks more like a grimace. “Yes.”
“Anything interesting?” he presses.
This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. Does he know? Does he know that you know? “Yes, of course. Lots.” 
He pauses and you see the debate and then the decision in his eyes. You think it’s the first time you’ve felt true terror when he meets your gaze again. “I think we should skip dinner tonight. It seems we have so much to discuss.”
You don’t even have the wherewithal to scream when he steps into you, forcing you back until he’s shutting your door behind him. He doesn’t stop there, though. He keeps pressing, keeps pushing until your knees hit the bed and you’re falling to the mattress. He crawls right after you.
“Who knew my little wife was such a reader? All those books in such a short time… You must be simply spilling with information.” 
You retreat across the mattress, squeaking when your back hits the headboard and his arms cage your waist. You’re trapped.
His hands find your hips and you’re all too aware of how cool his touch is. Even more so when he pulls you right into his lap.
“Satoru-” your voice is pitiful, breathless, and you’re ashamed to say it’s not just from the fear in your gut. He’s never been this close before, never touched you, held you like this. “Thomas-” 
“Don’t speak his name.” His face pulls into the first scowl you’ve ever seen and the sight is enough to root you to the spot. Never have you seen anything more frightening. A creature so beautiful, so perfectly angelic, filled with an insurmountable rage. It’s wrong. “He’s gone. He’ll never bother you again.” He’s closer now, his breath skating over your skin. It’s cool and now you know the reason why. 
You shake and tremble and you know– Thomas is dead. Your husband killed him– killed him for getting too close when all he did was stay at a distance. Satoru killed him. Killed him. 
He buries himself in your neck, his voice a near whine. “Thought I could put up with it, just so you’d have someone to take care of you…” He groans. “I was so wrong, princess. Couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand the way you smelled more like him than me…” 
You feel him melt against you then, relief washing over his body in a wave. “But he’s gone. And now it’s just you and me, hm? Just you and me…” He hums, like remembering that fact is all he’s ever needed.
He’s kissing your pulse again, now, and your heart is racing faster than ever. Your fingers curl into his shoulders. You should push him away, away, away. He’s a killer, of thousands no doubt. You’ve never felt at home here, never felt like you belonged. This is why. You’re not even the same species. He’s something else, something your hands were never meant to touch. 
Your mind screams at you to do go, to shove and kick at him and leave this place behind. Go, go, go your gut says… but you don’t. You can’t. It’s too… good. The feeling of his cool lips against your skin, of what you’re sure is his tongue prodding at your pulse… it’s intoxicating. He is intoxicating. How could anyone blame you for wanting more of someone, something, so divine? 
“Have you figured it out yet, love?” Your breath hitches and he chuckles, licking a long stripe up your neck, before he settles back at your pulse. Always your pulse. “I can feel those little gears turning. Tell me, what have they discovered?” 
He knows you know. But he’s going to make you say it. You swallow and feel his grip on you tighten. “You’re…” Your breaths come faster. You can’t. Not aloud. Aloud makes it too… real. 
“Yessss?” he prods. He’s licking at you again, all the way across your throat to find your other pulse-point. 
“You’re not…” Something sharps nicks at your skin and you bite your lip to hold back a whimper. 
“Go on, princess.” You think he’s just smelling you now, just burying his face as close to you as possible and taking you in. 
You close your eyes tightly, holding back tears. “Not human,” you breathe. A piece of you breaks with the admission.
He huffs a little laugh against your skin and pulls back to look you in the eye. “That’s good,” he purrs. “But I think you can be a little more specific, no?” His lips press to your chin, then the corner of your mouth, then down to your jaw… “Tell me.” 
Your lips wobble, muscles clenching tighter with each passing moment. You don’t want to say it, don’t want to speak it into existence, but you also don’t dare to disobey him. 
“You’re a…” You shake and tremble. He draws a line up your neck with the tip of his nose.
“Mhm?” 
You open your eyes, thinking this might be the last time you see. “Vampire.” 
He chuckles and you feel his teeth press to the skin of your neck. “That’s right, princess. So smart.” 
He smiles and you suddenly realize you’ve never seen his teeth before. Everytime he smiles at you it’s close-lipped and dimpled. But this… this is the smile of a predator– all white and pointy and fitted with a set of menacingly long fangs. You sob at the sight. 
“Shhhhh,” he coos. He has your chin in his hand, forcing you to truly look at him, to see him for what he is. “I won’t hurt you, love.” You want to believe him so badly it burns, but his laugh washes away any fire and turns it to ice. “Not unless you want me to.” He wiggles a brow like it’s just a little joke, like he’s not an actual fucking vampire that had his fangs over your neck just moments ago. 
“Satoru,” you beg. You’re not sure what you’re begging for. Release maybe? But, no, that’s not right. You don’t want him to let you go, not when you finally have him close after all this time. “Why did you pick me?” 
The question slips out. You hadn’t even been thinking about it, hadn’t even noticed it scratching at the walls of your mind, but it made its way out nonetheless.
His brow creases, but not in confusion. Moreso in… thoughtfulness. “Do you think about that a lot, princess?” 
You nod and you suddenly want him closer, want him to touch you everywhere, hold you like his life depends on it. You want him, no matter how horrible it might be. 
He nods and hums, kissing the tip of your nose lightly. “Well…” he says. His thumb swipes over your lips when he leans in to whisper in your ear. “At first I wanted you for this.” His head dips to your neck again and you feel the familiar brush of his lips against your throat. “You smell…” he chuckles. “Like heaven. Which is a place I’ll never get to on my own, so I had to bring my own little slice home, no?” He laughs again, a little louder this time, genuinely amused. “Went into town one day and caught your scent on the street. At first I thought I must be walking past the bakery, but, lo and behold, there was no baker in sight.” He’s still kissing at your pulse, worshiping it. “Went crazy, princess. Didn’t think I was going to be able to contain myself when I found you. Thought it might be quite the scene.” He huffs a laugh and you shiver, somehow both terrified and intoxicated. “But then I saw you–” he groans and something clenches deep at your center. “And I knew I needed more than just your blood. Needed you.” He’s rocking into you now, and your breath catches when you feel something firm against your backside. “Went to you in that little room you slept in every night. Watched you. Couldn’t stay away. Knew I had to have you.” You feel him smile against your skin. “After a week I couldn’t take it anymore. Sent you that letter, married you. Made you mine.” He groans again. “Then I met you and you were so pretty, princess. Already knew it, but hearin’ you talk to me, look at me.” Teeth graze your pulse. “Needed you more than ever. Almost took you right on the fucking floor in here while you were lookin’ at those dresses.” You whine when his hips roll into you again. “Oh, but I knew I couldn’t. You’re so fragile, love. Had to wait, had to make you feel safe, yeah? Spent all this time forcing myself to stay away, ‘fraid of what I might too if I was in your presence too long. Had to control myself. Had to make you realize you could trust me.” He panting, like he’s so pent up he can hardly sit still. “Do you trust me, princess?” 
Your brows scrunch. Say no, say no, say no a part of you screams. Run, run, run. You can’t. “Yes,” you breathe. 
You feel him smile again, feel the pleasure of submission. “Good girl.” 
You’re on your back. It happens so fast your eyes don’t even have time to gasp. You don’t see Satoru, but you feel him. Everywhere. His hands are roaming your body softly, sliding under buttons and laces and popping them off. Your dress loosens with every passing moment until Satoru reappears above you, diving straight for your neck again. “So good, princess. Let’s get you out of this dress, yeah?” 
You nod wordlessly, entranced. He finds your mouth as he rids you of your clothes. His tongue presses in and you flail against him, unsure of what to do, of how to handle the intrusion. The kiss is heavy, too heavy, but Satoru can’t seem to stop. He devours you as he gives up on laces and buttons and simply shreds your dress down the back. You tremble when the cold air hits your skin, when his cool fingers dust your collarbone. 
“I always forget how many damn layers they make you ladies wear,” he chuckles. His hands run beneath your shift, up across your bare thigh. You gasp at the touch. No one has even been so close to you before. You feel the threads of your corset snapping away, feel your breaths growing deeper. You tremble when he pulls your sleeve down past your shoulder and runs his mouth along the newly exposed skin. 
“Satoru,” you gasp, and your hand pulls at his flowing white shirt. 
He chuckles, pulling back just enough to see your face. “You wanna see me too?” You nod, lips parted and eyes glassy, and he laughs again. He lips dust over the corner of your mouth. “Alright.” 
His hands shift from you to himself, working at the laces on his chest. His movements are speedy, practiced, like he’s been lacing and unlacing shirts for hundreds of years. Your throat tightens when you realize that he has. 
You gasp when he reveals himself, when his shirt slides away to reveal an expanse of pale skin and carved muscle. You’ve never seen a man like this and seeing one this close up for the first time is nearly blinding. He’s art, you think- nothing less. 
“Touch me, princess,” he says. You can’t. You shouldn’t. He’s too beautiful, too perfect to be beneath your insignificant hands. “Need a little help?” he asks, and there’s a lilt in his voice that makes you sure he’s grinning. 
His hands find yours and bring them to his chest, running your palms over his collarbones, his pecs, down, down, down across his abs that you can feel each and every one… You whimper, watching your own fingers grope his skin. He pulls you lower, lower, lower, and you gasp when your fingertips brush the waistband of his pants. But then he’s laughing again and he’s throwing your arms over his shoulders and pulling you closer, kissing your neck like it pained him to be parted from your pulse for so long. 
“Not so fast,” he says, like he wasn’t the one nearly stuffing your hands down his pants. His hands are on your corset again. You can feel it dangling onto you by a thread, literally. All he needs is a couple more pulls and you’ll be bare. By the look he gives you, you can tell he’s 
thinking the same thing. “You touch me, now I touch you, yeah?” There’s a tug and a tear and then so much… cold. You’ve never realized how cold this castle is, not until you’re exposed to its elements fully. You’re naked. 
Satoru sits back on his knees and just watches. His gaze is searing, burning, despite the iciness of his being. It’s too much. Your hands move to cover yourself, to maintain some modicum of your dignity- 
“No.” Strong hands find your wrists and pry them apart. “Let me see you,” he says. His tongue darts out to lick his lips. 
Your jaw clenches and your frame shakes, but you do as he asks, letting your hands fall limply at your sides. There’s silence for many more moments and it seems to go on so long that you can only squeeze your eyes shut under his gaze. Surely he will turn you away now, get up and leave, tell you this was a mistake, tell you that you’re– 
“Beautiful,” he breathes. Your eyes snap open to find him already staring at you. “Beautiful,” he says again, and then he’s on you, lips at your pulse, hands on your skin. His touch is cool and you squeak at the chill that runs up your spine. You’re not sure it’s entirely from his temperature. 
His mouth seeks yours and he devours you. You feel as if he’s sucking your soul out through your lips. “Tell me you’ve never done this before,” he begs. “Tell me I’m the first to touch you.” 
You whine against his mouth, both aching for more and overwhelmed by what he’s already giving you. “Y-You’re the first,” you whisper. 
His groan is deep, primal. It rattles through your chest and you whimper when his hands dig into your waist hard enough to bruise. “Yes,” he breathes, and you shiver again. “Lie back, princess.” Your eyes widen, with anticipation or fear you’re not sure. Probably both. He chuckles. “Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle.” 
You pray he means that. “Just relax, love. Here, hold my hand.” His fingers find yours, twining them together. When you swallow, his eyes follow the bob of your throat. He leans back again and your body twitches when his free hand skims the skin of your thighs. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he finds your knees and you gasp when he parts your legs, revealing you so completely to his gaze. The way he stares, like he’s committing you to memory, it’s nearly enough to make you snap your thighs shut, but a squeeze from his hand reminds you to relax, to trust. 
His palm skates up your thigh and settles near your hip, his fingertips inching closer to where you can feel an embarrassing throb. 
“Tell me, love. Have you ever touched yourself here?” His fingers dust low on your tummy- just low enough for you to catch his meaning, but not low enough to give you any relief. Your face heats and your teeth dig into the flesh of your cheek. You have, you have touched yourself there, but it’s the last thing you want to admit to your new husband. It’s shameful, it’s dirty, it’s- “Don’t think I’ll judge you, princess. Just wanna know.” 
You gulp down a breath. You should come clean. “Y-yes,” you stutter, and the sound of your voice so weak and helpless only makes you flush further. 
He chuckles and squeezes your hand again. “On the outside or the inside?” 
Your eyes widen. I-inside? You’d never considered that… “J-just the outside,” you answer. 
Your eyes grow even wider when his head rolls back and he moans straight up to the ceiling like your answer is heaven-sent. When he looks back to you his fangs are on full display. “Well, I think you and I are in for a little treat today, hm?” 
Your brow furrows and your lips part to ask him what he means– his fingers travel those last few inches down your tummy and find your clit. You squeak and jolt so violently that he presses a hand to your hip, holding you to the mattress. “Somebody’s sensitive,” he chuckles. He holds you still for a moment and then lets your hips go free. “Try to stay still. I promise it’ll feel good.”
You nod hopelessly, but this time you’re prepared for when he touches you again. Your muscles clench at the first touch, at the foreign sensation of a touch down there that wasn’t your own. But then it’s more. It’s languid, slow circles around a spot that you’ve never been able to pinpoint so well on your own. It’s heat building in your tummy that seeps through every vein and into every pore. It’s relaxation that you’ve never known, that has you melting into the mattress despite the chill of the touch. 
There’s a little huff of a laugh and then his voice. “Good girl. Feels nice, yeah?” You nod hesitantly and squeeze desperately at his hand, searching for an anchor. His head cocks to the side and you watch the smile slide across his lips. “It’s about to feel even nicer.” 
By the time you realize what he’s doing it’s far too late to stop him. His mouth closes around your cunt and you yelp, trying to wiggle away from the overwhelming sensation- but he’s got his freehand on your hip again and his grip is bruising, punishing, as he holds you in place. He licks a stripe through your folds and you find yourself jolting again, uselessly so against the pressure of his palm on your hip. “Stop that, princess.” Your heart drops at the admonishment until you feel his guiding touch. “Rock into me like this.” His hand rocks your hips into his mouth and the pressure of his tongue against your clit is so delicious that you whimper. “Good girl,” he says and your heart rises right back up. “Keep doing that, now.” You don’t dare defy him. You rock like he showed you, a little jerkily at first, and then you find a rhythm that has you seeing stars. “That’s it, love,” he says, and the sound is muffled against your cunt. “Here, put your hand in my hair.” He finds your wrist and guides you forward until your fingers are tangling in those snowy locks. They’re even softer than you’d imagined. “Good girl,” he whispers and suddenly he’s taking one last long lick and lifting his head to meet your eyes. “‘M gonna put my fingers in you now, princess.” Your chin wobbles. “It might hurt a little bit, but stay still, okay?” You can’t do anything but nod. 
His eyes return to your cunt and you can feel him prodding at your entrance, circling the hole as you clench in anticipation. “Relaaaaaax, love,” he says and you nod. A deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth– 
You feel the exact moment he pushes into you and a whine of pain rips from your throat. Your walls clamp down like a vice, angry at the intrusion– but it’s already too late. There’s a beat of silence, of anticipation, and then he’s– laughing? 
Your brows furrow when you hear it, your head lifting to a sight that locks your limbs in shock. Satoru’s hand is lifted in front of his face, his pointer finger coated in– blood, you realize. Your blood. And he’s a fucking vampire. 
“Oh princess,” he coos, and the manic look in his eyes makes you tremble. “You really are perfect.” 
Things seem to slow as you watch him take his blood covered finger into his mouth. You’re sure you’ve never seen an expression more blissful, more lost to sensation. His eyes roll back and his body shivers, like he’s ascending to some higher plane. Maybe he is. 
When he pulls his finger from his mouth it’s completely licked clean. You hold your breath. He’s going to go for your neck now, right? He’s had a taste and now he’ll want more of it, all of it?
“Fuck,” is all he says. His mouth is back on your cunt so fast you don’t even see him move. 
Your mouth falls wide. It hurts, the way he is so desperately licking at you. You feel his finger again, pressing in, in, in, only to pull back and suddenly be joined by another. The stretch tears at you. You thrash and jolt, but Satoru doesn’t bother telling you to stop this time. His arm wraps over your hips, holding you in place. He seems immune to how hard your legs squeeze at his head or your hands pull at his hair. He’s lost. You can feel him licking, lapping, and prodding at you like you’re a fucking gold mine. He’s lost to desperation, to the need for more, more, more. Every so often he lifts his chin and you see his mouth smudged with a mixture of your wetness and your blood. He laps at his lips like an animal, dragging his thumb across his chin and sliding it into his mouth to make sure he gets every last drop. 
You’re not quite sure when the ravenous pain turns to a ravenous pleasure, when it turns from terrifying to downright delicious. You don’t notice your moans filling the air until Satoru joins you, groaning and whining into your cunt and telling you to keep going, to keep making those sounds. The hand you have buried in his hair doesn’t fight to push him away any longer, only to pull him into those now practiced rocks of your hips. His fingers thrust deep, curling into a spot that makes you feel so good and his mouth has found your clit again. He sucks your nerves lightly between his lips, tongue swirling in little circles. Your thighs start to shake. 
“Yes. Yes. Give it to me.” 
“S-Satoru–” you breathe. Warmth and tightness pool in your tummy, and you recognize it as your approaching orgasm, though you know this one will be far different than any you’ve ever managed to give yourself. Your body shakes and your breaths tremble and then– you fall over the edge, rocking your hips senselessly, losing all form of rhythm. Warmth tingles in your spine and seeps all the way down to your toes. You think you cry out, cry for your husband, cry for more, cry for less, but if you do you don’t hear it. All you hear is the pounding of your pulse, of pleasure throbbing in your veins until the world slowly seeps back in through the corners of your vision. 
Satoru is grinning. A speck of your blood clings to his chin and his fangs peek out from behind his lips. The sight makes your blood run a little colder. If any part of you doubted what he was before… well, there was no doubt any longer. 
There’s a shift between your legs, his hips slotting between them, and you’re suddenly snapped back to reality. From the look in his eyes, you’re not done. 
Frantic hands find his pants and he undoes each button with a quickness that is almost inhuman. You wonder if he could go even faster, if he’s holding back so as not to scare you. If he is, it isn’t working very well. Fear surges in your veins right alongside anticipation. 
“S-Satoru–”
“It’s alright, love.” His hand finds yours without his eyes ever looking up. His grip is just a little too firm, a little too cold. “Just stay still.” 
You whimper, but you don’t think he’s paying attention to that, and soon enough, neither are you. His pants slide down just past his hips, just enough. You gasp. 
You’ve never seen a man in the nude, never even dared to think about what it might look like, though it seemed you no longer had to guess. His hand wrapped around his shaft, giving one long and slow stroke that made his breath hiss through his fangs. The tip was flushed, angry, and leaking something that looked clear and sticky. You couldn’t help but notice it was a lot thicker than a finger, or even two. If his fingers had hurt…
He moves with that alarming quickness again, leaning down to hover over you, chests nearly pressed together. “Gonna take you now, princess. Gonna make you mine.” His eyes bore into yours, blue and shimmering with something wild. His hand presses into the mattress beside your head. “Stay still, now.”
It’s all the warning he gives you. You feel like you’re splitting– straight up the middle. You wail, hands flying out to claw at his back. It hurts. It hurts. 
“Satoru, p-please! It’s–” 
Lips catch yours– hungry, feral. The kiss is not gentle, not soothing. It shuts you up, it keeps you quiet, it keeps you still as you feel him sinking further, deeper into you. It’s too much, you try to say, but the poke of sharp teeth against your lips keeps you silent. Your hips jolt and wiggle trying desperately to escape the stretch but it’s no use. By the time he’s fully inside you, tears are streaking down your cheeks, fat and heavy. His lips break away and his eyes reappear. You shake when you see that none of the wildness has been tamed, that you’ve only just begun.
“Good girl,” he coos, and a cool finger traces a line across your jaw. “Took me so well.” You hold back a sob when his hips shift a little, testing, prodding. He must see the pinch of your eyes, the twist of your mouth, because he’s quick to comfort. “Just hold my hand, princess.” His hips rock in earnest this time and you whimper, squeezing down on his hand with all your might. You’re panting as he chuckles. “Breathe, love. Breathe. Soon you’ll be begging for more,” he laughs. It’s not long before he’s rocking into you sincerely, setting a pace that stretches you to the brink of breaking. At first it’s all you can do to grasp onto him, to bite your lips through the whimpers and hold his hand. And then it’s… more. It’s heat and warmth despite the coolness of his body on yours. It’s sensation and… pleasure. He laughs when the first moan slides past your lips, burying his face in your neck once again. You hear him at your ear, panting his hot breath across your skin. 
“Feel good, princess?” You nod, letting your hips rock against his as he showed you before. It feels good– it feels right. He chuckles, but there’s nothing light about the sound. “Wanna feel even better?” Something sharp pokes at the skin of your neck, hard enough to make you squeak, to make you freeze at what you know he wants. 
He pulls himself back, pressing his forehead to yours, searching your eyes with his. Something like a cruel smile dances on his mouth. “Just a taste, love. I promise it won’ hurt.” His tongue darts out and licks across your lips, his thrusts rocking just a bit faster. “You’ll feel s’ good an’ I’ll only take a little.” He laughs again and it sends a chill through your bones. “Promise.” He sounds breathless, like he’s struggling to restrain himself. The increase of his pace makes you whine and you squeeze his hand again. He buries himself back in your neck, panting. “Come on, love. Say yes. Say yes f’ me.” Your eyes glaze over. Your body justles with each new thrust. He’s desperate now, seeking a release that you don’t think is any kind you’re familiar with. “Yes, yes, yes,” he chants in your ear. You’re not sure when his words twist in your mind, when they settle on your tongue and push past your lips, but you know it feels so right when they do. 
“Yes,” you whisper. 
His fangs clamp around your pulse. You scream when the sting rips through you, violent and savage– but it only lasts a moment. Pain fades to… ecstasy. You feel his throat bobbing with each swallow, feel your blood seeping from your skin and onto his tongue. You’d thought it would feel slicing, draining, like the life was being sucked from you. It doesn’t. It feels wonderful. Heat spreads under your skin, emanating from your neck and down to your toes. It feels like breathing for the first time, like sugar being pumped into your veins. It feels like heaven. Your hand tangles in his hair, holding him close. You don’t want it to stop, not ever. You could die like this, have him suck every last drop of blood from your veins and thank him for it with your dying breath. 
He’s moaning now, hands curling into your hips while he fucks into you relentlessly. The pace is grueling and brutal. You know it should hurt but only feels perfect. Anything less would not be enough. Anything else would leave you wanting. You feel it building, feel that familiar twinge at your core. The ecstasy flooding through your veins has it coming faster, has you teetering on the edge in moments. 
“Satoru…” You hadn’t noticed how dizzy you felt until you tried to speak. You wonder why… “‘M gonna…” 
He fucks you harder, something menacing and deep rumbling in his chest. The sound makes you shiver, makes you whine, makes you come. 
Your body shakes and a cry rips from your throat, cunt clenching like a vice around him. Your eyes roll back, hands scraping trails down his back. Your thighs quake with the intensity, with the overwhelming senses of pleasure that erupt throughout your body. Every nerve is firing, every hair rising. It’s an unstoppable current, one that sweeps you away, helpless to its pull. 
His thrusts grow sloppy and untimed. His grip on your hips tightens, holding you in place while he makes you his. His teeth break from your neck and when you look up through blurry eyes you see his head thrown back, your blood streaming down his chin in thick little globs. You feel it when he cums, feel the thick ropes of it seeping into your womb, feel the way he keeps fucking you, pushing it deeper and deeper inside. He’s moaning, chanting your name like a prayer at the heavens. 
When the moment ends he slumps over you, eyes half lidded and tired. There’s a familiar grin on his lips, one that inspires both comfort and uneasiness in your gut. You can’t help but stare at him, at the blood that stains his chin and cheeks, that reddens his lips so beautifully. You want to reach out and touch him, touch his blood-soaked skin and see what it feels like, what it tastes like. What you taste like. 
His eyes slide to the side, finding your pulse again. You groan. Yes, you think. Please, yes. More. You don’t think you’ll ever get enough of that. Of his teeth in your flesh, of the euphoria flooding your veins. More, more, more, your mind chants. 
He chuckles lightly and shakes his head. “No, princess.” He raises a finger to trace the curve of your neck. “I took more than I should have…” His expression doesn’t tense with worry. His cheeks pull into a smile, those little dimples shining through. “But what can I say? You just taste so good.” Like he needs to emphasize his point, his tongue darts out to trace his lips, lapping up some of the remaining blood on his chin. “You taste like mine.”
You whine. More, more, more. It’s all you can think about. You lift an arm weakly. You want to pull him to your neck, to make him drink, to make him fill you with the heaven you had just moments ago. 
He catches your wrist and brings it to his lips, inhaling deeply. His lips split into another grin and you see his eyes spark again with the wildness you crave. 
“Not yet, princess.” he coos. “But soon.” His smile grows even wider, until those fangs are on full display, until you’re trembling again. “Forever,” he whispers.
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xxbimbobunnyxx · 6 months
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Best Mates
(Fuck boy!Aplha!Eddie Munson x Bestfriend!Omega!Reader)
Summary: You’ve always been in love with your bestfriend, you never thought anything would ever come of it until you present as an omega and he spends your heat with you. WK: 5.5k My Masterlist
Warnings: 18+MINDI Omegaverse so generall a/b/o behaviors. Scenting, knotting, marking, breeding kink, unprotected sex, possessiveness from both Eddie and reader, pining, heartbreak, Eddie leaves reader after her heat so there some angst but they get a happy ending. Pls lmk if I missed any!!
A/N: So this is my first time writing both omegaverse and angst, so I was pretty nervous going into this but I’m actually pretty proud of how it turned out! I’d love feedback, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Also shout out to my Lessy poo for giving me some advice @lesservillain (divider used is by @firefly-graphics)
Eddie has been your best friend since middle school and you realized pretty early on that you were in love with him. You remember the exact moment, you were both 16 when a senior cheerleader pulled him into a janitor's closet and he fucked her up against the wall. He told you about it excitedly, in a particular Eddie fashion but each word felt like a knife to your heart. He got the van a few months after that and it only got worse from there. If it wasn’t cheerleaders sneaking around with him behind their boyfriends backs it was band girls who heard through the grapevine how good of a fuck he was asking him to take their virginity.
He would always rant and rave to you about his escapades during your weekly Friday night hang outs and each time it broke your heart. But you listened, because that’s what best best friends do. You’ve had a few boyfriends and you were no virgin yourself but you hardly ever went into details with him and it never worked out because none of them were Eddie. No matter how hard you tried not to compare them to him, you always did.
When you were 18 he presented as an alpha, you graduated and he didn’t, so you hoped maybe he would settle down and find an omega but even if he didn’t at least you wouldn’t be around him everyday anymore to see it. But that didn’t happen, instead he kept fucking men and women alike, omegas, betas, it didn’t matter to him as long as he had a warm hole to fill. You didn’t escape having to see it either, he would take people into the bathroom after shows at the hideout, leaving you to ride home with one of the other guys. You would overhear girls in your college classes whispering about him, how big he is, how hard they fucked them, and it not only broke you but it just made you want him more.
At twenty one you’ve yet to present and at this point you’d given up hope of it ever happening. Your mom is an alpha and your dad is an omega so you always thought you’d present, but you were starting to think you were wrong. That is until today.
You were laying in your bed, your sheets soaked through with slick and sweat, whining with your hand between your legs desperately trying to relieve the pressure, even just a little bit. But nothing was helping, you even tried to use your toy which you quickly learned was a mistake, the vibrations too much for your sensitive clit. You considered calling Eddie, more than once, even going as far as to pull up his contact on your phone before talking yourself out of it. You didn’t want him like this, not just because he felt obligated to help you but because you wanted him to want you because you were you. That’s all you ever wanted.
He had texted you several times, and called twice but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to answer him. He would know something was off with you immediately and wouldn’t believe you if you lied. You felt hopeless as you rolled around in your bed, the only thing that offered you any sort of comfort was the flannel he had left at your house last week. You hugged it tight to your body, the bottom half clenched between your thighs, the other end held up to your nose as you inhaled his scent.
You were half drifted off, still clutching his flannel for dear life when you heard a knock on your door. You groaned, rolling over and deciding to ignore it, there was no way you could answer the door like this. You ditched your tank top and panties hours ago, your hair is all over the place from rolling around in your sweat, and most of all you physically don’t feel like you can move right now. That plan was quickly thrown out the window when you heard it again, this time it wasn’t just a knock though, someone was pounding on your door.
You didn't have to wonder who it was for long, his voice yelling out your name as the loud knocks persisted. Why the fuck was he here? You knew he had plans tonight so you figured he wouldn’t notice you hadn’t replied until later. It only made you want to ignore it more, you couldn’t face him, not like this.
“Open this fucking door or I’m going to break it down!! I know you’re in there I can smell you!”
Fuck. You didn’t even think about the fact that he could probably smell your heat, even from where he was. You wanted to ignore him, let him bang on the door until he finally gave up, but something told you he wouldn’t. That he would really break down your door to get to you, and you couldn’t help the warm feeling that filled your insides at the thought of him breaking down the door just to get to you. You knew you couldn’t resist him, not physically, even if your mind really wanted you to.
You groaned as you peeled yourself from your bed, grabbing some soft cotton panties out of your drawer and throwing his flannel over you without even really thinking about it. You felt dizzy and weak as you dragged yourself to the front door, but as soon as you hit the hallway it was like someone woke you up. You could smell him and the smell instantly brought the same kind of comfort as the flannel, if smelling him from here felt this amazing you could only imagine what it would be like to shove your nose in his neck and just inhale.
Suddenly the doubts in your mind were gone, you couldn’t even remember why you didn’t want to answer the door in the first place. You just want Eddie. Your pace picks up as you walk down your small apartment hallway and rip the door open. You smell him two seconds before your eyes meet and you feel like someone just knocked the wind out of you. His nostrils are flared, his pupils are dilated to the point that his eyes look black, the look in them wild.
“Why the fuck didn’t you call me?”
He doesn’t wait for an answer, just pushes past you into your apartment, slamming and locking the door behind him. He walks up to you so you’re toe to toe with him, he’s towering over you, staring into your eyes with lust and fury.
“I’m serious, why didn’t you fucking call me? I called you, you could’ve told me what was going on, you know I would’ve helped you.” His voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it, that combined with smelling him this close makes you whimper and you feel a rush of slick drip down your legs, right through the panties you just put on.
“I - I didn’t want you to feel pressured to help me Eddie, I know you’d only be doing it because you feel bad.” You wanted to break eye contact but you felt like he had you locked in place without even touching you.
“Pressured? You really think I would feel pressured? You don’t think I’d come just because I want to help my best friend through this?”
Best friend. Hearing those words come out of his mouth right now almost makes you gag.
“I don’t know.” You just shrug, not sure what else to say.
It’s then that he takes a second to take you in. You’re wearing his flannel and it’s not even buttoned so he can see everything but your nipples, you have on these little white cotton panties, there’s slick dripping down your legs and your fucking smell. He’s never smelled anything like it, anything better. He’s scented and knotted several other omegas, but no ones ever smelled as good as you.
He inhales deeply, reaching out to rest his hands on your shoulders.
“Let me help you little omega, you smell so good, I can smell how badly you want me.” His hands run up your shoulders and rub over your neck, right where your scent gland is, and even just this simple touch makes your head spin even more. You want him to kiss you there. Bite you. You wanted him to mate you, but you’d never tell him that.
“Okay.”
It came out small and shaky but it was enough for him. He surges forward and crashes his lips against yours, his tongue immediately swiping over your bottom lip. When it intertwines with yours you moan at the taste of him. He pulls away, kissing down your jaw to that spot on your neck and your knees buckle. He catches you with ease, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to your room.
He tosses you on the bed and it causes the flannel to fall open, exposing your tits fully to him. Your legs are spread without you even realizing it and he can see how truly soaked you are now.
“Look at you baby, wearing my flannel, you have no idea what that’s doing to me. You look so fucking sexy and smell so fucking good. Gonna make you mine, my omega.” He’s not even really thinking about what he’s saying now, your scent and the sight of you so desperate for him clouding his mind. “I need to taste you.”
He lays down between your legs and immediately attaches his mouth to your clothed core, swirling his tongue over your overly sensitive clit with a groan. You moan loudly and arch your back.
“Eddie, Eddie, please please don’t tease me, make me feel good, I need you. I can't wait anymore.” He continues lapping at your clothed pussy for a few more seconds before pulling away.
“You want my knot, princess? Is that what you’re saying? I wanna hear you say it.” The people who you are outside this moment are completely gone, all thoughts of friendship and consequences out the window.
“Please please please, want it so bad.” You’re wiggling under him, your hips rocking back and forth in search of friction, you can’t take it anymore you’ve been aching for hours and your body knew it was aching for him.
“You don’t need to beg, sweet girl, I’ve got you. Let’s get these off…”
You barely have time to process what’s happening before he’s ripping your panties clean in half, bringing them to his mouth and sucking your juices before throwing them over his shoulder. He hastily rips the flannel from your body before tossing it in the same direction. He stands up momentarily to hastily rip off his own clothes, your eyes widen when you see him fully bare in front of you.
He’s more buff than he used to be and his pale skin is littered with more tattoos than he had a few years ago, his brown curls are even messier than usual and when your eyes trail down his body they pause at the little trail of hair under his belly button before stopping at his cock. You’ve heard rumors about it for years, you’ve seen it through his sweatpants more times than you could count but nothing could’ve prepared you for the real thing.
“Alpha, I want you inside me, fill me up please please.” You hardly even recognize your own voice anymore but you’d do or say anything to have him inside you right now.
“It’s okay baby, I’m going to make it all better, make all the pain go away, yeah?”
He comes back up onto the bed between your legs, grabbing them and placing them on either side of his thighs. He grabs his cock in his hand and pumps it a few times before slowly inserting the tip inside you. He wants to take his time with you, he really does, but he just can’t. He slams the rest of the way into you in one stroke, he leans over you on his forearms and starts fucking you at a brutal pace.
The weight of his body and the feeling of him filling you up so perfectly has an unexpected orgasm crashing through you immediately. The relief you’ve been seeking for hours brought onto you in mere minutes. He continues to pound into you, his cock hitting that perfect spot over and over again. You turn your face to run your nose along his neck and inhale his scent, the smell sending you hurtling into another mind blowing orgasm. He kept fucking you hard and deep, pushing you to the edge over and over again.
“Fuck! Eddieeee you feel so fucking - so fucking good, so so good. Thank you alpha thank you thank you.” You’ve been moaning and saying things you never thought you’d have the courage to say, the moans coming out of your mouth were sounds you didn’t even know you were capable of making.
“This pussy feels so fucking good, feels like it was made for my cock. Tell me it’s mine, tell me this pussy belongs to me.”
“It’s yours - it’s yours! Only y-yours, my pussy belongs to you alpha!”
He growls into your neck as he leaves hot wet kisses over your scent gland, his thirsts start to grow sloppy and you feel his teeth nipping lightly at your flesh and you want him to just bite down.
“You’re so fucking good for me, such a good fucking girl. You’re gonna make me fucking cum.” You feel his cock twitch inside you the same moment you feel his teeth sink into your neck, the feeling sends a warmth through your body you’ve never felt before and you barely have time to process that feeling because seconds later he’s painting your walls with his cum. The feeling makes you cum right along with him but the euphoria is short lived when you feel a stabbing pain inside you.
“Shh shh, baby it’s okay, it’s just my knot, it’s only gonna hurt for a second I promise.” His voice is soft and calming, a stark contrast from the deep commanding tone he’d had since he showed up at your door. His hand reaches up to cup your jaw, rubbing his thumb over your cheek while his nose nuzzles into the bite on your neck. After a moment the pain subsides and is replaced by overwhelming pleasure, sending you into a final orgasm.
“You okay?” He pushes up on his forearms to look at you and he almost feels like he’s gonna cum again. Your hair is a mess, your face is flushed, your skin slick with sweat, and his bite mark, slightly bloody, is displayed on your neck. He knew it wouldn’t take, since you didn’t ask him, but that didn’t stop him from imagining that it did, imagining you were his.
“Yeah, I’m good, I still - I’m still…” you struggled to find the words to describe how you were feeling.
“You feel satisfied but like you still want more, is that it?” His thumb runs over your cheek again and he leans down to rub his nose against yours, the gesture so gentle it almost brings you to tears.
“Mhm.” You nod.
“Well don’t worry babe, you’re stuck with me for the next week. I’ll be here for you, okay?” He grabs onto you so he can roll over onto his back with you on top of him. He lightly puts his hand on your back, pushing you down so your chest is flat against his and he can run his hands along your bare body.
“Okay Eddie, thank you…”
He kept his word and stayed with you through your entire heat, having one of the guys drop some stuff off for the both of you. He doted on you, fucked you and knotted you more times than you could count that it almost made you forget that he wasn’t really your mate, that he was just doing this to help his best friend. So the day you woke up feeling normal and he left to return to his regular life, to return to just being your best friend, you felt like he took a piece of you with him.
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You hadn’t seen Eddie all week, which wasn’t that out of the ordinary these days since you both had work and you had classes. He’s called you a few times but you dodged them, only responding to a few of his many texts with short replies. Even managing to dodge your Friday night hang out under the guise of helping a friend with guy troubles.
But tonight Robin and Steve were dragging you to a party and you knew Eddie would be there because he asked you if you were going. You didn’t go overboard getting ready but you did wear your favorite little black dress and add a little more makeup than you usually would. If you were going to see him you were at least going to look hot.
When you get to the party you can already tell he was there. You haven’t laid eyes on him yet but the moment you walked into the door you could smell him. Even through all the smoke, bodies, and spilled beer you could smell his warm musky scent clear as day. It made you dizzy, it made you want to run. You weren’t sure if it was towards him or straight out of the party, you just knew you wanted to run.
You were one drink of mystery punch in when you finally laid eyes on him and you immediately knew which way you wanted to run. He was in the living room, with this beta girl from your English class pressed up against the wall. Your red cup slipped from your grasp and crashed onto the floor, the remaining liquid splashing all over the ground and your feet. You immediately dashed for the door, slipping in the liquid and bumping into a table that had a game of beer pong going on it.
The beer spilled all over the ground and the table tipped back and forth for a moment before landing back on its four legs. Almost every set of eyes there was on you, including the pair you wanted on you the least. You locked eyes with him for a moment, his filled with concern and something else you couldn’t decipher and yours brimmed with tears. You saw him start to untangle from the girl and took that as your sign to bolt. You ran out of the party and down the street, not even caring how you got home.
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It’s been a few days since then but it felt like weeks. Eddie had called and texted you more times than you could count at this point. You had avoided every single one up until he threatened to just come over again to which you responded “I need time.” He stopped texting you after that.
You were on autopilot, work and class going by in a daze. You finally had the day off and Robin agreed to come over to keep you company. She brought snacks and you watched a few movies together. You were worried that you would feel different around her after you presented since she was an alpha but she didn’t smell any different to you. When you realized you couldn’t smell any of the alphas you’ve been around, it hit you, Eddie mated you that day.
When Robin leaves you’re back sitting with your thoughts of Eddie. What he might be doing, who he might be doing. You missed him and you hated it. You sighed as your hand subconsciously made its way up to the now almost healed bite on your neck. It had started to scab and show signs of scarring and each time you saw it your heart broke a little more. How could you be so stupid? You thought since you didn’t vocalize that you wanted him to mate you it wasn’t supposed to stick, but it did.
Once you realized it, everything started to make sense. The way you could smell him the minute you walked into that party, how you couldn’t smell any other alphas, the piece of you that felt like it was missing without him around. Eddie was your mate and he was still out fucking around with other people. It made you sick.
Your thoughts are disrupted by a banging on the door and the minute you hear his voice calling your name it’s like you're sent back to that day that he came to you when you needed him most. Part of you wanted to ignore him, let him bang on the door until he gave up, but the part of you that wanted to see him outweighed it.
When you open the door he’s standing there looking just as wild as that day but something about his scent is off and it makes you gag.
“We need to talk.” He looks and sounds pissed and it makes you scoff.
“Yeah? Why don’t you go talk to whatever fucking omega you smell like right now because you fucking reak.” You wrinkle your nose at him and scowl. Was he seriously pissed at you right now?
“That’s what we need to fucking talk about! Can I please just fucking come in?” He can tell you’re about to argue with him further so he just walks past you, leaving you in the doorway with your mouth hanging open.
“What the hell do you want from me Eddie!? You fucking mated me and then you left me! I see you a week later with your tongue down some girl's throat and now you show up at my door smelling like another omega!? Asking to TALK!? Okay let’s fucking talk Eddie. We can talk. Let’s talk about how you’ve made me feel for almost our entire lives!! From the minute you fucked Allison in that janitors closet you’ve been breaking my fucking heart! Every single time you tell me about your hook ups it makes me want to fucking DIE Eddie!! But I sit there and I listen because I’m a good best friend and I could take it as long as you were still in my life! But then you come here, you spend my heat with me and you treat me like I mean the world to you, like your mate, then you just LEAVE and act like none of it ever happened!! I can’t take it anymore!! I can’t let you hurt me like this anymore Eddie I can’t!”
Tears are streaming down your face and your voice is cracking from yelling, you bang your fits on his solid chest while you sob. “FUCK YOU EDDIE MUNSON!! I hate you I hate you I-“
Your rant is cut off by him grabbing your face and kissing you roughly. You grab onto his hair and pull him closer, no matter how much you want to push him away your body betrays you. After a second you pull back with a fire in your eyes, and slap him across the face.
“Princess… baby, you need to calm down.” His voice comes out stern, matter of fact, and it takes everything in you to resist his command.
“Calm down!? Calm down!? You told me you wanted to talk, kissing me to shut me up isn’t talking, Edward!”
“You WEREN’T LETTING ME TALK!! If you just listen to me for five fucking seconds!! I didn’t fucking know okay!? I didn’t know I mated you until TODAY. I thought since you didn’t ask me to mate you it wouldn’t stick, it never has before, but you’re different. You are my mate and I think my heart always knew that even if my brain was too dumb to realize it!”
“So what? It took you fucking TWO other people for you to realize I was the one for you? How fucking romantic!!”
“I didn’t fuck them!! I couldn’t, okay!? After I smelled you at the party from across the room I tired to fuck that beta chick at that party to get you off my mind but I couldn’t even get hard. I figured maybe it was just because she was a beta so I tried to be with another omega and she smelled DISGUSTING to me, the minute her arms wrapped around me I GAGGED and I came straight here!!”
“You didn’t fuck them but you still let them touch you!! You went to them! You tried! When you’re fucking mine Eddie! Do you know how much that hurts!?” You try to push him back but he grabs onto your wrists to hold you in place.
“You’re saying all this but I can smell alpha on you, and all over this entire apartment!!” He’s holding your wrists to his chest to keep you close, his eyes are boring into yours and you feel like he’s trying to look into your soul.
“Yeah ROBIN!! She came over to keep me company because I was wallowing in self pity over your dumb ass!! I CAN’T EVEN SMELL HER EDDIE! I can’t smell any other alphas besides you!!” You struggle against his hold, just wanting to back away from his scent that’s clouding your mind.
“Princess… calm down.” He’s using his alpha voice on you again and even though your body wants nothing more than to obey his command your anger outweighs it.
“Take your clothes off and get on the fucking couch Eddie. Now.” Your voice is stern and matter of fact, your eyes filled with fury so he decides not to question you. Dropping your wrists from his hold, stripping himself before walking over to the couch to lay back on it. He wanted to please you just as much as you wanted to please him. At this point he would do anything to prove to you that he’s yours.
He watches with wide eyes as you strip yourself as well, walking over to stand over him. The look on your face is one he’s only ever seen a few times, pure rage. You looked like you wanted to rip him to pieces, it was honestly turning him on. You swing your leg over his hips so you can straddle him and he moans when he feels your wet pussy touch his thigh.
“Ugh - god you smell fucking horrible Eddie.”
The scent of the other omega still lingered on his skin and you wanted to rip it off. You glare at him as you grab his cock in your hand and spit on it, pumping him a few times before raising up to line him up with your entrance, immediately slamming down on him and inserting him fully inside you. You don’t even give him time to process the feeling of your warm pussy engulfing him, you just start riding him like your life depends on it, because right now it feels like it does. He’s a moaning mess beneath you, his hands gripping onto your hips for dear life while he watches you bounce on his cock, mesmerized by the sight of you.
“Tell me whose cock this is Eddie, tell me who you belong to.” Your hips are flush against his while you rock back and forth on his cock, his head rubbing against your g-spot deliciously. Your hands are planted on his chest and your nails dig into his flesh, wanting to mark him in any way possible.
“It’s your - yours baby! I promise I p-promise, it’s always - fuck! - it’s always been yours!!” You start bouncing on his cock again, using his chest for leverage to slam up and down on him over and over again.
“You’re fucking mine Eddie, my Alpha!! Mine mine mine.” You drag your nails down his chest before leaning forward to rub your nose along his neck. You felt a rush of relief when it only smelled like him, she might’ve touched him but she didn’t scent him.
Your hips slowed and Eddie took it as an opportunity to tighten his grip on your hips and start fucking up into you.
“I’m yours and you’re mine princess.” He’s pistoling his cock into you now, getting deeper and going harder than you could yourself and an orgasm quickly creeps up on you. He feels you clench around him while your cum coats his cock. “This is my fucking pussy, you’re my fucking omega.”
You’re moaning so loud you’re sure your neighbors can hear you, your nails digging so deep into his chest that they’re breaking skin now and your nose is shoved into his neck, inhaling his scent while he fucks you so hard it makes you whole body vibrate. You latch your lips onto his neck and suck causing him to throw his head back and growl, fucking you impossibly harder.
“Gonna fill this fucking pussy up, maybe I’ll knock you up then everyone will know exactly who you belong to. Who I belong to.” His hands grip onto your ass and he plants his feet onto the couch as his thrusts pick up, the thought of you with his baby inside you making him insane.
“Yes y - yes! Breed my pussy alpha! Fill me up! I want it I - f - fuck! I want it so bad please please.”
“Yeah baby? You want that? Want me to fuck a baby into you?” You whimper and nod into his neck but that’s not enough for him, he grabs you by your hair pulling your face up so he can look you in the eyes. “Tell me you want it, tell me you want me to fuck a baby into, tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours! I’m yours! I’ve always been yours, I want it, I want you to breed me alpha!”
The sound of you begging him to begging him to do the one thing his body is programmed to do above all else drives him insane. He knows you aren’t on any kind of omega safe birth control yet and the possibility of it sticking makes him absolutely feral.
“Mark me Eddie, I want you to mate me!” He looks at the almost healed bite mark on your neck, you both know he technically already did but he understands what you mean, understands that you want to know it’s happening this time. So he runs his nose along the mark before sinking his teeth into your throat.
The feeling sends you both over the edge. Your walls tighten around him while he pumps you full of his cum. A few seconds later you feel that now familiar stinging as his knot expands inside you. He grabs your face in his hands and kisses you with a passion that you’ve always dreamed of. This kiss feels like your real first kiss and it makes warmth blossom inside you. He pulls away so he can look you in the eyes, his hands still cupping your face while he rubs his thumbs over your cheeks.
“I love you, you know? I’ve always loved you. I just never thought I was good enough, never thought you would feel the same way. So I pushed those feelings down, and buried them in person after person and I know that’s awful. But please let me prove to you how much you mean to me, forever.”
“I love you Eddie Munson, even though you’re a huge idiot sometimes, how you didn’t see it is beyond me. I feel like I was blindingly obvious.” You chuckle and playfully roll your eyes at him.
“I’m sorry, for all the hurt I’ve put you through, I promise I’ll never hurt you again, okay? You’re my mate now, I’m only going to protect you from here on out.” He places a gentle kiss on your lips, just basking in the feeling of you.
“It’s okay Eddie, you’re mine now, and I’m not letting you go.” You lay your head on his chest and reach your hand up to tangle your fingers in his hair, running your nails over his scalp.
“You think it’ll stick?”
“You were serious about that? I don’t know, only time will tell. If it doesn’t, we could always try again.” He groans and you feel him twitch inside you.
“Okay maybe let’s talk about this later because my knot is never gonna go down if I keep thinking about getting you pregnant and I really want to take a shower.” You both laugh, the kind of laughing you’ve always done together and it makes you feel whole again.
“I love you Eddie.”
“I love you princess, I’m going to spend every single day until my last proving that to you.”
You giggle and nuzzle into his neck, it feels so right, being in his arms like this. It feels like home.
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written-in-flowers · 3 months
Text
So Unlike You (Yunho x Fem!Reader)
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Pairing: Jeong Yunho x fem!reader/ Side pairing: OT8 x fem!Reader
Word Count: 6k
Genre: smut sprinkled with fluffiness/ AU: sugar baby, idolverse
Summary: After hearing about you and Wooyoung, your sweet puppy makes a very surprising request, and you're eager to oblige him.
Warnings: cnc, consensual non consensual, rape play, edging, bondage, light bondage, spanking, pussy slapping, rough oral sex, oral sex, cream pie, unprotected sex (wrap it, but it's also discussed beforehand that they don't use one), pet names, mean names, roleplay, ripping clothes off, groping, polyamorous relationship, established relationship, poly!ateez, poly!reader, sugar baby au, idolverse au, dirty talk, super dirty, like damn. Sex toys, nipple play, nipple clamps
MINORS DNI!
Previously on Idol Companion
*****
Yunho was the sweetest, most gentle man you know. This was saying something considering your other boyfriends were equally sweet. He never hesitated to help or comfort you. You remembered him waiting on you hand and foot when you’d gotten sick. He’d driven you and Mihee to her ex-boyfriends’ house in case they showed up. Yunho never showed you anything other than respect, kindness and compassion. Yunho was your mood maker, your gentle giant, the other half of your “Twin Towers”. He rarely showed his “bad” side in front of you; you almost denied he even had one since he rarely rose to anger.  
So, his request certainly caught you off guard. 
You’d both come back home from a simple date night of arcade games, pizza, and a stroll down by the river. Yunho’s calming, laid back energy always felt refreshing after particularly rough days. You spent an afternoon wrangling toddlers, talking to parents, helping your friend Mihee settle into her dorm, and talking to your mom about your cousin's birthday party. Ending your day with your sweetest boyfriend relieved you of all the stress on your shoulders. Walking into the apartment together, you remained as quiet as possible to not disturb a sleeping Yeosang, so you both drank a glass of wine in the kitchen. 
“You know that I love you, right?” Yunho asked nervously, sitting across from you at the island counter. 
This phrase became popular amongst your boyfriends, since they typically followed it up with something suspicious. Still, how bad could it possibly be? It was Yunho.
“I’m aware,” you gave a sweet smile, “But you can always remind me, if you want.”
He gave a nervous laugh, running his fingertip around the rim of the wine glass. You could see him thinking it over in his mind, turning it around and around for the right words. Several scenarios crossed your mind as you watched him think. He’s ill. He’s in debt. His family is in trouble and he needs your help. There are so few things that could be wrong, but you hoped it wasn’t so bad. 
“Yuyu-ah,” you reached out for him, concerned now, “What’s the matter? You can tell me. Are you sick? Is your family okay? You don’t need to hesitate with me, you know that.”
“It’s nothing like that,” he shook his head, taking your hand gently. “Really,” he insisted, “It’s…Wooyoung told me you and him tried something new in bed a while back and…”
A relieved smile came across your face, “And you wanted to try that too? Yunho, you don’t have to be scared to approach me about trying new things. I trust you with my body every time, don’t I? I didn’t think you’d like free use play, but if you’re curious about it, we can give it a go.”
“That sounds nice, but that’s not what I wanted to ask you about.”
“Then what?”
“I wanted to see if you…if you…”
“If I…?” 
“If you’d ever like to try consensual non-consensual play with me.” He blurted out the words before drowning them back with wine. 
The request stunned you a moment. You sunk deep into your thoughts to try comprehending the suggestion. Not that you’re against rape play. You’ve heard of other people doing it, and you’d done it once with another client in a safe, trusting environment. But, you expected such suggestions from that person, not from Yunho. You pictured Yunho, taller and bigger and stronger, pinning you to his bed and harshly pounding into you while you whined and pleaded with him to stop. He’d have no trouble overpowering you if you truly fought back. Unlike other clients before him, you knew Yunho would only do it if you gave a firm, certain ‘yes’ and after a long discussion over ground rules and safety colors/words. Seeing his large hands, you remembered each time they went around your throat or sharply slapped your ass. Yunho could be rough and dominant if he truly wanted. 
“You want to do that?” you asked, dumbfounded still. 
“Um, well…” he smoothed a hand through his black hair, scratching the back of his head, “I’ve always wanted to try it with someone, but I never dated anyone long enough to feel comfortable asking. Since we’ve done kinky things together, I thought, maybe if you wanted to and felt certain, we could try that?” His puppy eyes met yours, and you melted. “I swear I won’t be upset if you say ‘no’. Please, don’t feel you have to agree with it because you’re my Companion or anything. We definitely do not have to do it, if you’re uncomfortable with that. I only thought I’d ask. It’s okay. It’s totally okay if you don’t want to do it.”
“Yunho,” you ran your thumb the back of his hand comfortingly, “If there’s anyone I’d feel comfortable doing that with, it’s you.”
A light pink brightened his cheeks, and he giggled, “Really?”
“Yes,” you nodded, “I’ll admit I’m surprised it’s you who asked me. I expected Hongjoong or Jongho to ask, if any of you ever did.” 
“I know,” he blushed, “But I thought you might say ‘no’ because it’s not something we’d normally do in bed. It’d be different from the usual dominant stuff we do, and a bit rougher.”
“You want to wreck me, Yuyu?” you teased, laughing softly when he turned away again. “I don’t mind. I trust you to take care of me, and I think it's a new thing for us to explore.” 
“Really? It's honestly okay if you don't want to,” he repeated. 
“Yunho, yes,” you assured him, walking around the counter and into his arms. “I'd like to try it too. You want to do that now or another time?”
“No, not now,” he shook his head, “When Yeosang goes to see his parents. That way he doesn't over hear it and think that I'm actually hurting you. Besides,” he pulled you closer and smirked, “That way you can be as loud as you like.”
A laugh was muffled by his kiss. After getting his confirmation, you and Yunho discussed exactly what he wanted to do. He asked if you both could do “the entire act” which included you refusing sex and him not taking a “no” scenario. Nothing too elaborate, yet enough to set a dynamic and tone. You both decided on a color system, and your usual safe word “Buttercup”. Being a toy user, you told him you didn't mind the toys or if he decided to restrain you somehow, which led to a discussion about ropes or handcuffs that you left up to him. You agreed to a day and time that would be best for both of you, then went to bed together. 
****
“Bye, Yeosangie!” 
You kissed Yeosang for the hundredth time that morning, trying to capture as much of it as you could. He'd be gone for three days to see his parents, so you cashed in as many kisses as possible. Yunho’s request did excite you, so perhaps you appeared a bit eager to get him out the door at the same time. 
“I'm going to miss you,” you pouted in his arms. 
“I'll only be gone three days, babe,” he laughed, hugging you tightly still. “You have seven other boyfriends to keep you company until I come back.”
“But none of them will watch reality shows with me,” you said, toying with the strings of his hoodie. “Who's going to talk shit about bitchy housewives with me?”
You recently managed to get a VPN to watch reality tv shows from other countries. Yeosang quickly became your reality junk buddy after a Real Housewives episode.
“We can stream them online, and watch them together that way,” he replied. “We do live in the age of technology after all.”
“It's not the same,” you whined, hugging him. 
“YN, he's not going off to war,” said Yunho from behind you. “He's coming back.”
“What if a war happens and he has to go before then?” You joked, mocking a sad tone and burying your face in Yeosang's neck. “I'll never see him again.”
The three of you laughed before Yeosang gave you one more kiss, then released you. You'd offered to drive him to the station, but he insisted that you stay home. A part of you wondered if Yunho hinted at the afternoon plans. The both of you let him leave, waving goodbye until he closed the door behind him. You tiptoed to kiss Yunho’s cheek, then went to clean up the breakfast dishes. 
Your eyes paid attention to the time while you washed dishes. Yunho said he'd like to do it around noon, since that gave you both plenty of time before, during and after, so you suspected he was preparing his room right now. The anticipation left you thinking of all the possible things Yunho could do to you. You never experienced a mean Yunho before, but the members said it can be scary. You told him he didn't have to hold back with you; it's his fantasy and you'd be fine with whatever he decided. Since it's his first time doing this, he said he'd be gentle but once that arousal boils up, that might disappear. Finishing up the counter space, you looked at the clock to see it was half past noon. You worried Yunho might have been too nervous and backed out. Even though it was his idea, you told him if he ever changed his mind you wouldn't be upset and he said vice versa for you. You’d moved to wait in the living room when he appeared in the kitchen doorway. 
“Hey you.”
Yunho stood there in a long black shirt and shorts. His face bare and hair free of product, Yunho stripped down to his real self. You often said how you preferred them without all the makeup and hairspray. The stylists always made their skin a lighter shade, and they covered up Yeosang's pretty red wine birthmark. Seeing Yunho as himself, wearing simple clothes, flustered you more than his stage outfits. He leaned against the counter, eyes already peeling off your clothes. Heat rose up from under your shirt at the sight. It reminded you of the villains in dramas, who ooze sex appeal and wickedness at the same time. The kind that are hard to root against because they're so damn good looking.
“Hey,” you kept your tone light and casual, “I just finished cleaning up. I was going to watch this new movie I found, if you want to join me.”
“Nah,” he shook his head, eyes focused on your chest, “I have something else I want to do instead.”
“Game?” You suggested innocently. 
“No,” he drawled, shaking his head. He walked around the counter towards you, eyes glinting with lust. His hands rested on your waist, while he leaned into you, “I'd like to do you.”
“Yunho,” you sighed, sliding from his warm embrace, “Not now. I'm tired, and not really in the mood.”
“But…” Yunho scoffed incredulously, “That's your job though.”
You hesitated. You never thought such words would come out of his mouth. “Yunho…”
“You're a Companion,” he continued, “Fucking me is your whole job. Sure, okay, we go on dates and all that, but at the end of the day if I want some ass, you're supposed to give it to me.”
His words. The irritated look in his eyes. Intimidating and standing taller, you couldn't help being flustered by the change in him. He should do more acting. 
“I don't have to if I don't want to,” you argued back, yanking your wrist from him. 
“Yes, you do,” he roughly grabbed it back, “It's not like you don't like it. You give it up to Hongjoong all the time. You let us gangbang you in front of cameras, and at home. I'm not going to ask you to do anything you haven't done a hundred times before.”
You made an attempt to escape his grasp, but he really did hold onto you. Quickly, he pulled you to him as you struggled and planted a hard kiss on your lips. He told you he wanted you to truly fight him back; he assured you he wouldn't hurt you too badly. You lightly slapped his shoulders, wriggling in his hold as the kiss deepened and he forced his tongue into your mouth. A soft groan escaped him as he trapped you between himself and the counter. You swatted at him, trying to scoot free as he kissed and nibbled down your neck. The bulge grazed against you kindled a fire inside you, but you forced it back down. 
“Yunho-ah, stop it,” you scoffed, pushing him away briefly. When you slapped him lightly, he glared. It aroused you further. 
“No,” he grunted, hands wrapping around you once more. You squeaked at the hands squeezing your ass, feeling it through the thin shorts you wore. “I'm horny, and your job is to fix that. Let me see these.”
“No!”
You tried blocking his hands from sliding under your top to lift your shirt, but it didn't work. He lifted the tight top above your breasts, which he immediately kneaded in his hands. Yunho’s jaw dropped at the sight of them in his palms, your nipples hardening against his palms. You’d opted out of a bra today, and you’re glad you did. The sudden intrusion made you gasp. Using one leg to spread yours, Yunho groaned as he cupped both breasts. 
“Stop,” you said, trying to cover them from view but purposefully failing. “I'm going to call Hongjoong,” you threatened. 
“For? For him to come watch?” He smirked, flicking at one of your nipples. “He loves watching, and I normally don't mind, but I want to keep it just you and me today.” You grabbed his wrists when he moved down to your shorts, shaking your head and breathing heavily. “Let me see you,” he ordered, “It's mine, after all. I pay for it.”
“I don't want to,” you shot back, though you did not appear as confident as you sounded. “Leave me alone.”
“No.” 
You gasped when his hand grabbed your sex. Long fingers sliding fully over your shorts, he massaged it in circles that had you frozen in place. 
“Gosh, it's so warm,” he moaned, his other hand going back to fondling your breast. “And it gets wet so easily. I only have to rub it a few times and it's soaked. We really hit gold when we got you.” 
“Let go,” you demanded, but didn't move. 
Yunho then turned you around, pressing you into the counter once more, and continued feeling you up. His hardon brushing your ass now, he let out a low moan when you instinctively pushed back. Soft panting filled your ear as he lightly touched you. You pushed against his hands, trying to tear yourself from him, but he kept a firm grip on you. 
“Yunho, I mean it. Let me go.”
“Ugh, shut up already. It's not like I haven't done this before.”
“I will tell management. I'm not kidding.”
He yanked your head back, forcing you to look at him over your shoulder, and scowled. “Go ahead. I'll tell them you asked for it and they'll believe me. Nobody believes sluts like you,” he grabbed your chest again and pinched your nipples, “I’ll even tell them you didn’t wear a bra. ‘Well, hyungmin, YN wasn’t wearing a bra, and I was only giving her what she wanted’,” he said in a mocking tone, his voice tickling your nerves, “‘Noonanim, YN wanted it a little rough’. Honestly, YN, who do you think they’ll listen to?” 
This empty threat made you hold back a giggle. You never expected him to be so in character. 
“Buttercup,” you snorted, unable to hold it in.
“What's wrong?” His concern dropped once he heard you giggling. “What? Is it too cheesy?”
“No, it's you being so in character.”
“I did work on a drama once. I guess you can say I'm an actor,” he kissed beneath your ear, “Do you want me to dial back the realness?”
“A bit.” 
“Alright. Time in?”
“Time in.”
Returning to his character, Yunho took your arm and started dragging you to his room. Your heart started racing, a breath catching in your throat at the sudden roughness in him. He brought you into his room, slamming the door behind him and threw you onto his bed. 
“Yunho!” You exclaimed before he forced himself on top of you. “Yunho, stop it!”
“No,” he grunted, taking hold of both your wrists. “You're my girlfriend. You're supposed to fuck me whenever I want, and right now, I want it.” 
“Yunho, please!” You added a whimper at the end as you let him take your wrists. 
He grabbed a belt from beside you and wrapped it around your wrists. You still wriggled beneath him as if trying to escape, but you made no real escape attempt. The adrenaline sent blood rushing to your core. Every single nerve in your body tingled each time his body brushed against yours. Holding down your arms, Yunho kissed you deeply again and grinded into you. His hardon pressed lightly against your thigh each time, and he followed it with a soft groan. You let out more whining, even turning your head before he grabbed your chin to roughly kiss you. One hand putting your hands onto a hook on the headboard, the other slid up your body to your breast for a soft squeeze. Unable to free your arms, you could do nothing but move around as Yunho kissed and caressed your body. Large, warm hands slid up to your breasts, cupping and squeezing them through your shirt. 
“Give me clothes you don't care about. I want to rip them off you.”
You'd left an old tank top, shorts, and underwear in his bedroom last night. When you got them this morning, you saw he'd made small slits in each piece to rip them easier. He'd cut into the tank top by the neckline, which he took a hold of now. He stayed on top of you, grabbing your tits while he continued grinding into you. You never realized how much stronger Yunho is compared to the other members. Mingi, Jongho, San and Yeosang worked out often, so you expected it, but Yunho had size on his side. He kept you firmly pinned even with the belt and hook aiding him, and he made sure your hips did not move too much. 
“I don't know why you bother with clothes,” he grumbled, “Whores don't need clothes.”
You yelped when the sound of ripping fabric followed, exposing your bare chest to him. Hungrily, Yunho took one nipple in his mouth to suck while his other hand pinched the opposite side. He continued grinding into you, groaning softly. You loved how you could feel his dick through his pants, hard and pulsing in his boxers and into your center. 
“Yunho, please stop,” you cried, giving a sniff. “Please, don't do this.”
“Shut up,” he growled, kissing further down your body. 
“Please-”
“-I said ‘shut up’, slut,” he repeated firmly, slapping your cheek lightly. “You don't speak again unless I speak to you first, got it?”
“Yes,” you sniffled, pouting and giving him doe eyes. 
“Sit up.”
He helped you into a sitting position where your mouth came to level with his crotch. With a swift tug of his waistband, his semi-hardon stood inches from your face. Yunho removed his shirt, and you took in his lean form. Not as defined as the others, you still wanted to kiss and feel every inch of him. Yet, despite your clit pulsing from the sight, you pretended to push back and away from him. Shaking your head, you purse your lips as Yunho brought your head back into position. When you didn’t immediately open your mouth, Yunho pinched your nose and slapped his tip against your lips. The light tapping combined with the instinct to breathe caused you to gasp. A gasp that Yunho instantly snuffed out with his dick. Grasping your hair, he kept you in place while he smoothly went in and out of your mouth. You continued whimpering and trying to get away, but not too hard. Yunho’s pulsating cock slid over your tongue, and tempted you into touching yourself. You heard his haggard breathing getting heavier, moans starting to escape him as he stared down at you. Soon, Yunho was thrusting himself into your throat. Your humming vibrated around his tip, and he chuckled. 
“That’s right,” he said through gritted teeth, “Hum around my cock. Go ahead. I know how much you like it.”
You gave a fake sob as he started gagging you. Each deep thrust ended with you gulping and gasping when he pulled off you. Thin streams connected your lips to his tip, and Yunho used this connection to smear himself on your chin and cheeks. Both hands on your head, Yunho forced you to the hilt and stayed there at least a few seconds at a time. 
“Yunho, stop,” you coughed, “It…It hurts.”
“It doesn’t seem to hurt when Seonghwa does it,” he grunted, “So take it.” 
You hadn’t said ‘buttercup’ again, so Yunho did not stop. Purposefully, you didn’t hollow in your cheeks to suck him. When he saw you simply keeping your mouth open he scoffed. 
“No, no, no, suck it,” he ordered, pushing himself into your throat. When you didn’t suck, he poked his tip to your cheek and slapped it. “Suck it right, slut,” he slapped you again, the sting mixing with the ache in your throat. “Don’t act like you’ve never sucked dick before. Hollow out those cheeks and-Fuck, yes, like that.”
Whimpering, you started sucking him properly. This made him give your throat a break and focus on rubbing himself on your tongue and lips. You wriggled around on the bed as your own arousal started throbbing between your thighs. A bundle of his sheets against your sex tempted you into grinding against his mattress, eager for a form of relief. Yet, you knew you’re meant to not want this, so you kept yourself firmly planted on the bed. Yunho chuckled through a groan. 
“Look at you,” he mocked, smacking your cheek again as he pushed against your inner cheek. “Filthy, dumb slut getting turned on by me using her mouth.” When you let out a muffled wail, he plunged deep into your throat again, “Don’t act like you don’t like it. It’s what you’re paid to do. I’m only taking what I pay good money for.” 
He kept you planted there as he started fucking your mouth roughly. A slight pain burned in your throat after a while, making your eyes swim with tears that came down your cheeks. The cheap mascara and eyeliner you’d applied colored the tears with black, a look Yunho asked for specifically. Your clit throbbed while your walls clenched for something to grab onto; your nipples tingled and hardened from imaging his mouth and hands on them. Yunho, seeing your nipples erect, reached down for one as he continued abusing your mouth. Index and thumb fingers rolled it in between them, the twinge of pain adding to the burning pleasure. Sharp slaps to them every so often made you whine around the cock ravaging your mouth. 
Without a word, he pulled you off him and pushed you back onto the pillows. “I know exactly what to do with these,” he huffed, reaching into a box beside the bed. 
You laid there, coughing and clearing your aching throat, as he shifted through a selection of toys, unable to keep yourself from wriggling around underneath him. When he withdrew a chain of nipple clamps, you widened your eyes and shook your head. While the sight of them usually excited you, you pretended to fear it as you struggled to get away from Yunho. This only made him hook your bound wrists back to his headboard. Straddling your thighs, Yunho bent down and greedily sucked one of your nipples. He cupped and squeezed while teasing the sensitive peaks with his tongue. 
“Yunho-ah,” you cried, sniffling and shaking your head, “Please, stop it.”
“Shut up,” he snapped, spanking one of your tits for emphasis. 
“Yunho, please don’t put those. They hurt a lot-”
“Do I look like someone who gives a fuck? Shut. Up. And. Take. It.”
His meanness only turned you on more. You watched him prepare you for the clamps and purposefully moved around to make your breasts jiggle. Yunho looked over at you for a moment. You saw him admiring your hands tied to the headboard, seeing the drool and tears left on your face. You pouted, giving him a pleading look that made his jaw drop. He wanted you to be pathetically helpless against his big, strong body. He wanted you pleading for mercy and saying ‘no’ until the very end. He bent down over you again, pecking your lips softly and nuzzling your nose gently. Neither of you said anything, but you still sniffled and whimpered as he went back to sucking and biting your nipples. You often tried keeping whichever breast he chose from his mouth before he grabbed them harshly and kept you in place. The clamps brought a never ending wave of pleasure that you forced yourself to restrain.
“Just as pretty as I thought,” he gave a self-satisfied smile as the chain pulled your nipples. He slapped the sides to see them bounce against his hands, “They’re prettier covered in loads of cum.”
“Yunho-”
He roughly grabbed your chin and squeezed your cheeks to keep you quiet, “You just don’t know how to shut up, do you? How many times do I have to say it?”
“Yunho,” you sobbed.
“Ugh, you’re so annoying,” he scoffed. Going back to the box, he took out a dildo-gag. Only a few inches, it wouldn’t go to your throat but it’d certainly keep you quiet. “Open up.”
You shook your head, rolling your lips closed.
“I said ‘open up’, slut.”
He pinched your nose again, and you tried holding your breath as long as possible until you gave in. The second your mouth opened, the gag went inside. He strapped it securely behind your head, enough to keep it from coming loose but not so tight it truly hurt you.
“There,” he said, “Maybe now you’ll finally shut up. You’re prettier when you’re not talking.”
The toy in your mouth caused saliva to build up around it, which you tried swallowing down to keep it from coming out. That didn’t prepare you for what he did next: Yunho went further down your body to your shorts. He roughly and hurriedly tugged them off you, and groaned at the sight of your wet panties. Your pussy ached when he heatedly tore them enough to reveal your sex and ass, the cheap fabric hanging by the elastic bands. When you tried closing your legs, he forced them back apart and sat between your thighs to keep you spread out. Your heart started racing in anticipation, sensing his hard cock close to your dripping sex, and expected him to go inside right away. But no. Yunho planned to drag this out. 
Lifting your legs up by the ankles, he pressed your knees to your chest and swatted your bare pussy. The stinging pain added to the clamps on your nipples, and you thought you might cum if he continued spanking you. Yunho’s quick, hard slaps teased your exposed clit, the brief touch sliding across your pussy each time his hand came down. Seeing you trembling on the bed, Yunho stopped spanking and rubbed your sore lips gently. 
“I know you’re not about to cum,” he said, a threat in his voice. “I know you’re not about to cum before me. I didn’t say anything about you getting to cum first.” He spit right on it, swirling it around slowly, “No, no, no. We’ve told you before that a proper slut would let us cum first. This is for my pleasure, not yours,” he slapped your pussy particularly hard to which you gave a muffled cry, “I don’t pay you to have orgasms. I pay you to give me orgasms.”
You attempted to plead, but your gag kept you quiet.
“What’s that?” he cocked his head to hear you, “You’re going to be a good toy and let me fuck you however I like? Hm, that’s good to know.” He laughed when you reverently shook your head, “Oh, you know you love it. Your pussy certainly loves it.”
He grabbed his dick and started tapping it against your pussy. The teasing motion stirred the pot boiling inside you. You could feel your orgasm slowly rolling to the front, about to explode right onto his wet tip until he’d stop. When you’d calm down, he’d go right back to teasing his length against your pussy. It became absolute torture. If you ever stopped being wet enough, he’d spit right where you both met to keep you slick enough for him. You took the moment to watch his body tense up at the flickers of pleasure grinding into you gave him. One hand gripping your thigh, the other made sure his dick moved exactly how he knew it’d weaken you. You saw the veins in his hands from the pressure, and wanted them inside you. You wanted them knuckle-deep, pushing in and out and wiggling deep within. His fingers always looked better around your throat or stuffed in your holes. But, he didn’t use his fingers. Not once. 
When he finally did enter you, he gasped in surprise. “Oh no,” he said, smoothly gliding in and out of you, “Looks like I forgot a condom.”
Another thing you’d both discussed and cleared on before starting.
“No, don’t do that,” you tried saying through the gag. “Don’t cum in me.”
“Huh? What?” he cupped his ear, starting to rub your clit with his thumb so you mewled loudly. “You want me to cum in you?”
“No! Don't!”
“I bet you do,” he started pumping in and out of you faster, “I bet you love when Hongjoong fills you with cum every night. I’m surprised you’re not pregnant already with all the times he’s creamed your little pie.” He took hold of your thighs and kept them spread further apart. “But, don’t worry. I’ll cum in you,” he sneered, “Maybe I’ll leave you here and call the other members so they can fill up your pussy too. You’ll be so full of it, we’d have to take you to the clinic the next day,” he laughed.
The idea of him taking his own fantasy a step further had your thighs quaking in his grasp. Yunho kept the same steady pace throughout, only stopping when he sensed your orgasm drawing near again. A cocktail of pain and pleasure once again filled your insides, and you realized how much you enjoyed it. You liked mean Yunho. He exhibited a sadistic desire to bring you close to an orgasm, only to deny it to you at the last second. Your disappointed and frustrated whimpers delighted him, usually resulting in him taunting you as he pounded his hips into yours a few times. He meant it when he said he’d be merciless. He proved it when he flipped you onto your front, lifted your head up by your hair, and started pounding your pussy relentlessly. Any plea or cry you gave went unheard underneath the sounds of his skin slapping yours. When the bed banged against the wall, you thought that usual shyness might come out, but it only encouraged him further. 
“Please, please, please,” you cried through your gag, tears watering your eyes again. “Please stop. It hurts so much.”
“Shut up,” he growled, tugging your hair and thrusting faster. “Shut up and take my cock.”
“Yunho-”
“I said ‘shut up’, bitch.” He pushed your face into the pillow, the dildo going further into your mouth and silencing you right away. “Fuck toys don’t talk.”
You sobbed into the pillow, your nose poking out enough for you to breathe. Your eyes rolled back right as his tip started pushing your g-spot. Each thrust sent you closer to the edge once more. You thought you’d go insane from the feeling alone. You felt nothing but the desperation growing inside you. The need to meet his hips with yours, the need to be clenching and squeezing him through an orgasm became far too deep. You lost all sense. The only thing you focused on was pretending to squirm out of Yunho’s strong grip. 
What pushed you the closest was when Yunho’s moans became breathy and erratic. By his tightened grasp, his feverish thrusts and incoherent streams of curses, you knew he’d finish soon. You clenched him tightly, which made him quicken his pace. Soon, a distinct hot sensation spilled inside you and you almost came with him. Yunho continued going until he pumped every last drop inside you. Quivering, your body tensed up in effort to stay on the edge. 
“Tak-Take it,” he groaned, huffing as he squeezed out a few more drops, “It’s the least you can do after…after rejecting me…”
The second he withdrew from you, you weakly scrambled away from him.
“And where do you think you’re going, huh?” 
He roughly pulled you back into his grasp. Restricting your arms with one of his, he parted your legs with his knee and started rubbing your sex again. The tips of his fingers rapidly gliding over your clit had you trembling and clutching Yunho’s arms. Your body caved into itself, a burning tightness building the longer he kept you in his grasp. You tried closing your thighs together and moving from his hand, but he only forced them further apart and went faster.
“That’s it,” he said in your ear, still toying with your clit despite the sensitivity settling in, “Cum all over yourself like the pathetic slut you are. Go ahead. Do it.” 
You shook your head as if keeping yourself from giving into his demands. 
“You know you want to,” he said, stopping to bring your knee further up and then continuing, “You wanted to a little bit ago. Am I not good enough for you to cum for? Huh?” 
You put your hands on his wrist, trying to move his hand away but not doing a good job of it. This time, he didn’t do anything else. He only rubbed; his fingers caused his warm cum to mix with your juices, getting the mess everywhere, but you didn’t care. You came in seconds. The blinding climax made every muscle in your body seize up, and you screamed around the dildo in your mouth. You could do nothing but lay there as Yunho teased an orgasm out of you. Being completely at his mercy, tied up and clamped, you laid there and came hard until the very end. 
When you finally finished, you desperately chased whatever bit of air you could get through your nose. It wasn’t until Yunho undid the gag that you sucked in more air. Keeping you in his arms, Yunho carefully unbuckled his belt from your wrists and tenderly rubbed them for you. He peppered the side of your face with soft, brief kisses as he gingerly removed the clamps to rub your sore nipples. The two of you laid there in the afterglow of this new experience, content to listen to each other’s breathing gradually steady over time. You stayed still when he started wiping the mess from you with a wet cloth, drying it for you right after. A shower or bath would be for later. Neither of you felt up to it at the moment. 
“Did you like it?” he asked in the silence, not having moved an inch away from you. “Was I too rough? Not rough enough? I didn’t want to overdo it with you.”
You shook your head, “I really liked it, actually.” 
“You liked it, huh?” he teased, giving you a gentle squeeze. “Even when I hit you?”
“Yes,” your cheeks grew warm from the confession. “I’ve never seen you that way before.” You turned over to face him, remaining in his arms still, “It really turned me on.” Talking made you realize your throat did itch slightly. You’d need some tea to soothe it at least. 
“Oh?” he lifted your leg to his waist and put his arm around you, “Maybe I should be mean in bed more often.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” You then asked, “Was I…I don’t know how to say it…Fighting back enough? I didn’t want to make you think I really wasn’t into it, but I know you wanted me to kind of fight back.”
“You were perfect, babe. It was exactly like I imagined,” he insisted, kissing you softly. “Thank you,” he said, moving hair from your face, “For doing this with me. I thought it might scare you or you would see me differently when I asked you.”
“Never,” you assured him, clearing your throat. “I’ll admit I was surprised by it at first, but it was something new for us to explore.” You chuckled again, which bothered your throat, “But I did think you getting so into it was funny at first.”
“I wanted to do it right,” he laughed. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
“You wouldn’t have,” you coughed. “You wouldn’t have disappointed me. We would’ve just had normal sex or no sex or whatever we both felt like doing.” 
“Oh, baby,” Yunho immediately perked up, “Your throat. It must hurt. Is it really bad? I shouldn’t have done it so much.” 
“It itches a bit.” 
“I’ll make you some tea then,” he peeled himself away from you and sat up. Ruffling his hair, he reached for his boxers on the floor and said, “And an ice pack too?” 
“Yes, please.” 
You knew once you really started moving around, you’d know which parts of your body will need to be iced. Yunho gently pecked your lips, then left the bedroom. Sinking further into his bed, you felt yourself drifting to sleep. The events you replayed in your head gave you chills. Nobody looking at Yunho would think he enjoyed such a taboo act; though, you’re not bothered by it at all. A part of you wondered if he'd do it again, since Yeosang won’t be home any time soon. 
You’d definitely have no objections. 
****
A/N: hey hey friends! Sorry this one took so long. Like with all my current wips, I've been having trouble sticking to one and finishing it. I hope this one makes up for it though! I have a Seonghwa one coming up soon too! always like and reblog, it keeps us going <3
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xhoneygirlxx · 8 months
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Love To See Me From Your POV
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rockstar! Eddie Munson x wife! reader
summary: Seeing Eddie on the road for the first time should be an exciting moment but when your insecurities rise, you wonder if this is the life you were cut out for.
warnings: angst. reader is insecure: mentions of self hatred and low self-esteem. Eddie and Reader are both in their twenties! Rockstar Eddie. Eddie does call groupies gross. mentions of rough marriage. Eddie and reader fight! slight cheating accusations. fluff. Eddie is the sweetest husband, reader and Eddie being in love and cute. Smut 18+ Only, Minors DNI!! : mentions of sex with groupies, p in v (unprotected), cream pie, slight breeding kink, slight dom/sub, body worship/praise, oral receiving (reader), fingering, squirting. shit writing and bad grammar. Not proofread!!!!
If I missed any please let me know! *
a/n: Hello my loves, I got a request from @kellyxo1 for this little thingy right here! I hope this is okay and I hope you enjoy! Thank you all again for being so wonderful and lovely to me :) And remember if you ever want to request something, you're more than welcome!
There isn't a booklet on what to do and what not to do when you get married, and there's definitely not a booklet on how to be a rockstar's wife. Married life in itself is a difficult task, but learning the ropes of being married while also dealing with the life of fame was something you or Eddie was prepared for.
Getting married right after Eddie's third senior year was always the plan, two young and dumb freshmen solidifying it with hooked pinkies. Obviously you loved one another more than life itself, but going through the motions of being married at the ripe age of 20 is harder than any fairytale make it out to seem.
It was hard that first year, constantly worried about bills, overtired from working long shifts to pay said bills, and just learning how to live with one another. But in between all the hardships, there were small moments where both of you remembered what it was all about. Eating thirty cent noodles, decorating for holidays, the quiet Sunday mornings where you'd get tangled under bed sheets. The love that both of you hold for one another drowning out every other shitty thing around you.
The second and third year, your whole world flipped upside down. After getting lucky and getting picked up by a big record label, Corroded Coffin was now the hottest new band on the market. You remember the day the boys got signed, how most of them shed a tear of happiness, and how happy your husband looked. A moment in time that was now frozen in a picture that hung on your fridge.
You were so proud of the boys, watching them go from a crowd of seven drunks to recording their own album. There was something so special about being there with your husband for every step, cheering him on from the sidelines every time. When the album finally dropped and the number of sales went up, Eddie surprised you with the keys to the little house on Deer Run Road, the same one that the two of you always fantasied about owning.
Although he worked mostly in LA, he told you he planned on staying in Hawkins where he could still get privacy while being close to the people he loved. You also loved it because you wouldn't have to leave your job at the daycare and your husband would always come home to you.
Now on year four, you were the loneliest you've ever been. Between touring, recording, and everything that comes with being in a band, Eddie has barely home. You can't be mad at him though, he's following his dream all while providing a wonderful life for you. Of course there are nights you'd rather have him in bed with you, reading that old torn copy of Lord of The Rings rather than a phone call, but you're just glad he even has the time and energy to do so.
It was hard for the both of you, many times the two of you cried together, confessing the horrible ache that nestled itself in your hearts. You felt terrible, never being able to visit him because your schedule didn't line up with his. That's when you decided you were going to take a week off, fly to whatever city he was in, and surprise him.
With the help of Steve, who pretty much taught you the in's and out's of flying, and the band's personal assistant, you were able to buy a ticket to New York where CC would be performing their final show. That night when Eddie called you, you were buzzing with excitement and it killed you not being able to tell him.
On the way to Eddie's hotel was nerve racking. What would he think of you? Will he like how you changed your hair? Will he be shocked with how much I changed? You wondered how different he looked since the last time he saw you, the only way you got to see him was through your tv or on a cover of a magazine, and you never know how accurate those things can be.
__
Standing in front of his hotel room was daunting, blood rushing to your ears as your anxiety reached a whole new level. It felt like you never met him before, like he hasn't seen every single part of you or known you since he was a young man. The shakiness of your hands were only getting worse the longer you sat there, you decide it was now or never.
Raising one hand to the peephole, blocking it with your finger so he wouldn't be able to see, you use the other hand to knock on the heavy door.
"Housekeeping!" You disguise your voice the best way you can, making it high pitched and nasally.
Knocking once more, you cringe when you do it harder than before, remembering that he's probably tired from all the travel he's been through.
"Housekeeping!!" Still using the fake voice, trying to soften the blow of your heavy hand you sing the last little bit of the word.
From behind the door you can hear shuffling, yet there was no footsteps heard.
Raising your fist once more, you knock again and this time you can hear him shout something back.
"GO AWAY!" It comes muffled through the door that separates the two of you.
"Good morning, it's housekeeping!!" you cover your mouth with you hand trying to stifle the giggle that fall from your lips, knowing your husband is probably cursing to himself in anger.
Eddie's heavy footsteps and huffing are the only things coming from the room, then the door is being swung open causing the land that was leaning on it to fall dramatically.
In front of you is the man you married, hair messy from sleep, plaid pj pants hanging low on his hips, and bare chest on display. He looked so pretty, rubbing his closed eyes with the palm of his hands, pink lips jutting out in a pout, and puffy cheeks.
"I already told you to go the f-" Cracking one of his eyes open to adjust to the harsh light of the hallway, he finally sees you.
"Baby?" His raspy voice in a whisper, like he's questioning if you're real or not. Tired eyes that were once too heavy to open are now bulging out of his head, cartoonish and wild.
"Hi, Teddy." You whisper back, a saccharine smile breaking out on your face.
The air that once lived in your lungs are quickly punched out the moment he lunges towards you, gripping you up and twirling you around. In the middle of a swanky New York hotel, the two of you hold on each other, squeezing tightly to make sure that neither of you will float away in the clouds of a realistic dream.
"My baby, my beautiful girl," You hear it before you see it, the thickness of his sleepy voice does nothing to hide the shakiness. The tears of mourning you, fall from his eyes hitting the exposed part of your neck where he finds solace.
"I'm here, Teddy. I'm here." The dam you've built to hold back your own tears, has finally busted open. The tears of long nights and a cold bed fall onto his warm skin, the one thing you wished to feel once more.
Moving apart slightly, big brown eyes finally meet your own, taking in the imagine of the people they love the most. Teary eyes and stuffy noses, wobbling lips and heavy breathing, two souls reuniting after too much time away from each other.
Planting his forehead to yours, you bask in the feeling of being close. Eddie's warm lips touch yours, a sweet and tear soaked kiss makes you melt.
"I missed you so much, angel." He confesses, the warmth of his breath mixing with your own.
"I know the feeling." You joke and the both of your share a laugh.
"You know," he whispers, forehead still touching your own, "I want to be mad that I'm up at the ass crack of dawn, but you're such a beautiful sight to be woken up to." A gooey smile spreads on his lips and like a yawn, you mimic his actions.
"So you're not interested in housecleaning services this early in the morning?" You question and he snorts at your bad attempt of a joke.
"Angel, you know me better than that." He says and you roll your eyes.
"Now," Eddie lets you down gently, your feet returning to the carpeted floor. "If you don't mind, I would love nothing more than to fall asleep with the sexiest woman in the world."
Leading you into his room, he proves his point by slapping your ass hard. When you turn around to chastise him, you're met with him biting his bottom lip and his gaze still on your ass.
"Oh yeah, I'm gonna have so much fun with you." The morning rasp in his voice is replaced with a husky, lust soaked hunger.
Tossing you, lovingly, on the bed, Eddie pounces on you like a tiger. Attacking you with kisses, you try to push him off as best as you can, weak from all your laughter.
"Teddy, I still have to shower!" You shout causing him to pause over you. Catching your breath, you run your hand up and down his arm softly. "I still have yucky airport on me."
Eddie leans down and licks your cheek and you wrinkle your nose in disgust. "Oh yeah, that's my favorite flavor."
"You're such a dork." You tell him and he only smiles bigger down at you.
"Yeah but I'm your dork, Mrs. Munson."
__
The morning was spent with discovering each other again, not just physically but emotionally. You update him on the kids at your daycare and new Hawkins drama, while he tells you about the antics the boys have gotten into and all the cool stories from this tour.
You missed it, the simplicity of marriage. Even through all the time spent apart is torture, you still find the beauty in the small moments. Like the thirty cent noodles, you enjoy the peace and comfort of whispers passed back and forth a room that isn't your own.
All the bliss you felt from this morning has now been flushed out, now replaced with the roaring waters of doubt. You watch your husband on stage, singing songs he wrote, like you did way back when. This time the crowd isn't just drunk bar patrons, it's beautiful woman screaming his name.
They're all perfect, tiny bodies and big breasts, full hair and flawless makeup. They're everything you're not, everything you never will be. This was the one part of the job you never read about in your how to guide. This was the one thing you forgot to teach yourself about, how to handle millions of woman fawning over your man.
You weren't naïve of course, you knew that the guys had groupies, but you liked to push that into the back of your mind. You trusted Eddie more than anything, you knew he would never do anything to ruin your marriage, but that wasn't the part that had you so upset.
It was the idea of not being good enough that was eating away at you. Like everyone else in the world, you had insecurities. You went through stages with your self consciousness, earning a few battle wounds to your confidence along the way, but over time you became comfortable in your own skin.
This wasn't Hawkins though, this was the big city, and your "small town pretty" is no good here. All of the woman here could chew you up and spit you out, beating you out by miles in a beauty contest.
Your self hatred starts to write over the happy memory of watching Eddie on the biggest stage you've ever seen. Embarrassment fills your body, numbing you from head to toe. You feel so stupid, the clothes you wear are nothing compared to what they wear, you probably look like a clown in the makeup on your face, and your hair is probably flat and dull now.
This wasn't what you signed up for, this isn't in the job description when you sign on to be a rockstar’s wife. You already have to worry about the safety of not only your husband but the rest of the boys too. You worry about Eddie and if he's eating enough, if he's getting enough sleep, and if he's taking care of himself. There is already so much on your plate and you don't think you can handle worrying about the fact that you're not good enough.
The wave of guilt hits you when you look back over to your husband. His beauty is powerful, sometimes it makes you want to cry how pretty he is, and you know deep down he deserves better. Rockstar Eddie Munson deserves a girl that looks like one of them, not someone like you. It makes bile rise in your throat when you think about how he has to watch his friends pick up women from different cities and he has to sit by himself because his old ball and chain is all the way back in nowhereville.
Having a front row seat of your own demise is too much, deciding it would be better to watch on the monitor in the green room. When you're finally alone, it doesn't get any better. The large mirror that hangs on the wall captures your attention, calling to you like a siren to a fisherman.
Taking a seat, you begin to pick apart every single detail of your face. You criticize the shape of your eyes and where they sit, the length of your nose and how the shape sits weird, and how the pores that sit on your skin are way bigger than you remember.
The loud voice in your head pleads with you, begging you to stop before it's too late. "DON'T RUIN THIS" it screams and the demons that have overtaken your mind push it away, not wanting reason to ruin their demolishing.
When the guys enter the room, you realize you've been staring in the mirror for longer than you intended, almost like you were hypnotized.
"What a great fucking show!" Gareth announces as he grabs a beer from the mini fridge in the corner of the room.
"I agree." Grant says as he plops down on one of the leather sofas, exhaling loudly as the adrenaline crashes through him.
"This crowd was definitely the loudest one we've had." Jeff's voice is louder than he thinks. Clapping his hands together, he signals at Gareth to throw him a beer.
"So, what do you two lovebirds plan on doing now that touring is over?" Grant asks, leaning up from his slumped position to look over at you.
Eddie wipes his neck and face off with a towel, stalking over to you with a blissed out look on his face. Leaning down to you, he places a sloppy kiss on your forehead, removing with a loud 'mwah' sound when he does.
"I planned on taking my girl around the city before we head back home." Eddie is still looking down at you, almost like he's questioning you if it's fine with you.
Returning a fake smile, hoping he doesn't notice it doesn't reach your eyes, you nod your head to let him know you approve. A guttural moan pulls your attention to the brown haired boy over who's now sitting on the opposite couch of Grant and Jeff.
"You two are grossly in love, it actually makes me sick." Gareth rolls his eyes and the roar of chuckles ring out in the room.
"You act like we don't have a line of hot ass babes waiting for us." Jeff laughs and Gareth hums as he swallows the sip of alcohol.
"Very true, Jeff. Very fucking true." The boy laughs in agreement.
You know that their comments hold no malice to you but it stings all the same. All you heard was, "Too bad for Eddie, we get to fuck hot girls while he's left with that." It loops through your head, digging a deeper hole, bringing up every bad thought you've ever thought about yourself in the twenty something years you've been alive.
Everyone continues to talk, laughing and joking like they always do and the only thing you can do is get lost inside the storm that tears through your body. The feeling of Eddie's fingers dragging along the skin on the back of your neck has long been forgotten. The voices have all gone muffled, your own demons speaking loudly over them to even try to understand what they're talking about.
"Angel?" Eddie calls and it brings you out of the darkness of your brain.
You hum, craning your neck up to look at him. He's breathtaking, you think, even in the horrible lighting of this dressing room he looks perfect and it crushes you even more.
"You 'kay? Haven't really said much." He says, only loud enough for you to hear, not wanting to bring unwanted attention.
"M'fine, just kind of tired." You shrug. Flashing those pretty teeth at you, he smiles and it makes you sick with love.
"I'm sorry, Angel. I know I didn't give you much time to recover from the flight... and other things." He jokes, wiggling his eyebrows, earning him a light shove from you.
Leaning down once more, he captures your lips in a loving kiss and a small portion of the tension in your body fades.
"See, I told you! Sickening!" Gareth shouts, his arm stretched out and hand face up, directing everyone's eyes to the two of you.
Bashfully, you shove your face into Eddie's stomach to hide. Draping his one arm on your back, he twists his body slightly to look at the others.
"Gareth, you're clearly jealous I get to kiss my smokin' hot wife." Eddie shouts, and a collection of groans fill the room.
If only you could believe the nice words your husband said.
__
That night in the hotel room, you tell Eddie you're simply too tired to partake in any sexual acts, which he doesn't protest. Laying in the comfort of his strong arms arms, the thoughts are too loud to melt away to sleep. You wonder what Eddie dreams of as you lay awake, if he ever regrets marrying you, and if he wishes he could partake in the same things as the guys. You cry softly, tears pooling on the fabric of your pillow, praying to whoever to is listening to make it better.
The next morning, Eddie is like the energizer bunny when he wakes you up from your four hour sleep. Going to the local diner down the street, Eddie talks about how fun the show was, moving his hands dramatically as he retells you every detail. You try to look interested, smiling and laughing when needed but truthfully you aren't paying attention, you don't even chastise him when he speaks with a mouth full of food.
Afterwards, he shows you around the city and all the sights it offers. It pains you that you can't even enjoy it, too focused on everyone else around you, comparing yourself to every woman that walks past.
Eddie notices, he's noticed since last night but he didn't say anything. At first he genuinely thought you were tired since you never really traveled before, but when you sat across from him at the diner and poked at the food on your plate, he knew. Despite what a lot of people thought, Eddie wasn't stupid. There are many things he had knowledge on and his best subject was you.
He didn't know what was particularly bothering you but he knew all too well. You were in your head about something, beating yourself up about something that wasn't worth the fight, but he knew you could make it out. You always did.
The problem was you didn't fight out of this one. You stayed locked away in the torture chamber that was your mind and let the problem eat you alive. Eddie did everything you always talked about doing, showing you the places you dreamed about and you still didn't crack.
When you returned back to the hotel room, it was oddly quiet. Even Eddie who never stopped talking, was scarily silent. Sitting down on the bed, you started to talk off your shoes, working at the laces slowly.
Eddie stands in the doorway, leaning his body weight on the wall for support. His gaze burns into you, uncomfortably so and you're terrified to even look back at him.
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" His tone is serious and it terrifies you.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you meet his gaze. His arms are crossed over his chest and his features are harsh, waiting for an answer.
"I told you, I'm tired." You lie right through your teeth and like a metal detector he catches it, scoffing loudly and shaking his head.
"I need you to cut the shit, Angel. What is wrong?" He questions again and it ignites a fire within you.
"I told you, I'm fucking tired Eddie. Sorry I'm not you, I don't travel the world for a living." You snap at him.
"Are you- What the fuck did I do?" He argues back and you sigh heavily. This isn't how you wanted it to go but all the emotion from the past four years are coming out in knife like jabs.
"What the fuck did I do," You mock him. "What did you do? I'll tell you what the fuck you did. You left me, you fucking left me. Don't worry Eds, I'm happy for you, trust me. I love knowing that I'm the old ball and chain back home that keeps you from fucking groupies. But it's fine if you look, just not touch, right?"
When you're done you feel worse than before. Eddie stares at you, frown pulling on his lips and big glossy eyes that stare back at you. God, you want to kick yourself for making him feel like shit. This all could've been prevented if you just talked to him, let him in on what was happening but no, the demons won and they shot Eddie down while doing it. The worst part is, you pulled the trigger.
"Is that what you think?" His voice is small, something you've never heard from him and it breaks your heart.
"Fuck- I didn't mean that. I just-" Closing your eyes, you try to compose yourself but it doesn't work. "I just miss you so fucking much. Last night I couldn't even enjoy the show because all the tits that were on display in the front row distracted me. All I could think was 'how could he want me when all of these beautiful woman are better than me?'"
"So instead of watching the end of the show, I sat in front of the mirror and made a list of every ugly thing about me. My body, my face, my voice, every fucking thing about me is horrendous. Then when the guys mentioned fucking groupies, I felt so guilty 'cause while they're out havin fun, you have to sit there all alone because I'm all the way in Hawkins."
It all comes out like word vomit, laying on the floor of the hotel room, filling the room with the stench. Your ugly truths are now out there, you're so fucking vulnerable and all you want to do is hide.
"Are you dumb?" Eddie's voice brings you out of your pity party. Staring at him in shock, you can see his own tears staining his face.
"Do you realize that it kills me not being with you? Every city we go to, all I can think about is you and how much I want to take you there. Those girls you're talking about, the ones the guys screw around with? Yeah, I've seen them and let me tell you, they're gross." Stalking the short distance, he takes a seat right next to you on the bed.
"Do I get jealous because they get to have sex? Absolutely. It's not 'cause of the girls they bring home, it's cause I wish it were you. So many nights I laid awake, jerking off to the thought of you and it was way better than any fucking groupie could do for me." You snort at his admission, rolling your eyes still not believing. Grabbing your chin, he pulls your attention up to him.
"I'm so fucking serious, Angel. I'm so in love with you, it's maddening. Sometimes when I call you, I can't help but blush like I'm back in the ninth grade again. It blows my mind every single day that I got to marry the gorgeous girl from Click's class." His words are like warm butter, melting over you and seeping into your skin.
"Do you really mean that?" It's meek and unsure, like you're scared of what the answer could be.
"Cross my heart." He simply says, marking an 'X' over his heart with the tip of his finger.
Sniffling loudly, you wipe away the tears that roll down your cheeks. "I'm sorry, Teddy." You say and he hums, resting his forehead on your just like he did twenty four hours before.
"It's okay, baby. Trust me, I feel the same way sometimes." Furrowing your eyebrows at him, he laughs at the scowl on your face.
"Not like that, baby. I just mean, I get scared one of those hot dads are gonna try to pull a move on you when they drop their kid off." Between the serious look on his face and the honesty in his voice, you can't help but cackle.
"Eddie, who exactly would pull a move? Mr. Gardner? He's like forty and wears a very bad toupee." Eddie tries to cover the snort that comes out with a fake a cough.
"Hey, maybe you're into that kind of thing." He simply shrugs and you roll your eyes.
Settling into a comfortable silence, Eddie kisses you lightly and you pout when he pulls away.
"Can I show you how much I love you?" Your eyes scan his face for a moment before nodding.
"Please." That's all he needs to hear before he's placing you on your back, your head being cradled by the soft cotton pillows.
Eddie starts by kissing you, sweet and slow, reminiscent to the time you and him lost your virginities. The only difference about this time is he knows what he’s doing, confident in the way he glides his tongue against yours.
Moving his attention along your jawline, he places small lingering pecks down your neck. His hand moves down the sides of your body, finding purchase on the bottom of your shirt where he tugs softly on the material. Getting the hint, you sit up and help him pull the garment over your head, your bra is quick to follow.
Laying you back down on the soft cotton of the pillows, he continues his journey down your body. Soft lips leaving prints of love along your collarbones and down your sternum, invisible prints of love collect on your skin where they burn bright and settle into your bones.
“My sweet girl.” He trails more kisses around the doughy flesh of your breast.
Finding the hardened nipple, he swirls his tongue around it before pulling it into his mouth, lightly sucking on it before pulling off with a pop.
“My beautiful girl.” Moving his attention to the other breast, he repeats the same motions from before.
Moving down your tummy, he continues to map out his journey, leaving lingering tattoos onto your skin. Finally making it to his destination, he toys with the waistband of your jeans, popping the button open and pulling the zipper down.
Lifting your hips, you assist him in taking of the restrictive clothing. In one swift action, he rips off the jeans and panties that once covered you. Feeling exposed and shy, you whimper up at him to get his attention.
“What’s wrong, princess?” His tone is concerned and it makes you pout even more.
Wordlessly, you reach your hand down to grab the hem of his shirt where you yank gently. Catching your drift, Eddie pulls it over his head and let’s it fall to the ground where the rest of your close reside.
“You were feelin’ shy, huh?” You nod at his question and he leans up to press his lips to the tip of your nose. “Gotta make sure my girl is comfy.”
Shuffling himself onto his tummy, he places your legs over his shoulders so he can be face to face with your glistening sex.
Kissing the inside of both of your thighs, you squirm trying to move him to the one place you need him most. Tsking loudly, he looks up at you with a correcting gaze.
“Be patient,” he scolds and you listen, biting back your fussing and fidgeting.
A deft finger runs up your slit, moving your slick around as it does. “This pretty cunt is so miserable, huh? She’s sad without me there to make her feel better.”
Taking two of his fingers, Eddie spreads you open to exposing your core causing you to hiss when the cold air hits you.
A swift lick of his tongue hits you like a bullet train, all at once it’s too much but not enough. A sob leaves your throat when he stops, glassy eyes meeting the dark one of your husbands, pleading with him for more.
“You know,” While the pad of his thumb over your aching clit, he continues to keep eye contact with you, “I don’t like when you talk badly about my wife.”
“The strong, smart, loving, and breathtaking woman I married,” He continues his ministrations, not using his other hand to trace around your hole, “Doesn’t deserve to be talked badly about.”
He continues teasing you, not inserting his fingers into your clenching hole and not giving your bundle of nerves enough pressure. He’s making you sweat it out and you think you might die.
He coos sweetly at you, faux pity on his features as he does. “I know, honey. S’it hurt? Want me to make you feel better?”
“Please, Teddy. Please please please.” Your begging falls on deaf ears though, Eddie just continues his evil plan of torture.
“I’ll make it better,” Putting his mouth close to your cunt, you can feel his warm breath and you shy in relief. Moving away quickly, he looks back up at you and you fight the urge to yell at him. “But first, I want you to say you’re beautiful.”
“Wha- Eddie, no! Just fucking- God, just eat me out already!” You yell and he mocks you by laughing.
“Baby, I can leave you high and dry and be perfectly fine. So unless you want to get yourself off, I suggest you do what I say.” Although you know Eddie would never make you take care of yourself, his threat hits you like a lightning strike. His cool demeanor and stoic tone makes you believe every word he said.
“I’m beautiful.” It comes out in a whisper, so low he barely catches it.
“Nuh-uh, say it louder.” Eddie corrects you and the buzzing feeling over embarrassment burns your cheeks.
“I’m beautiful.” This time it’s louder but you don’t sound convincing.
“I want you to believe it. Want you to be nice to my wife.”
Something about the words being said to you makes your heart beam. All of Eddie’s statements to you have been chipping away at the guarded walls of your mind, casting light on the darkness that overshadows it. You start to believe him, you start to let the positive and loving words bring you out of the insecurities that plague your thoughts.
“I’m beautiful.”
You say it at the same volume but this time something in your eyes let’s Eddie know you believe the words you say. The glimmer of light that disappeared 24 hours ago, has finally returned to its rightful spot.
“There’s my girl.” Dimples flash at you before he dives right into you.
Eddie’s tongue replaces his thumb, adding more pressure to the pulsating spot. The finger that once teased you, is not fully seated in you, curled just right while it pumps in and out of you.
He’s not doing much, basically just warming you up for what’s to come, but something about it lights you on fire. The adoration Eddie has for you is being poured into your heart, lighting your body in a glow that he only manages to bring out of you.
Your moans grow louder when Eddie starts sucking on your clit, another finger shoved inside of you moving in and out in a faster speed than before.
You arch off of the bed like you’ve been possessed, whimpering and withering around making Eddie use his unoccupied hand to push you back down.
“Shit, you’re s’tight.” Eddie’s voice comes out slurred, drunk off of the taste of you.
“You gettin’ close? You gonna cum for me, Angel?” You don’t have the energy to answer, too lost in the feeling of your stomach tightening.
Slowing down the speed of his fingers, you huff in aggravation. Eddie’s voice pulls you back down to reality, your bliss slowly starting to fade away.
“I’ll let you cum if you say you’re perfect.” Lifting up on your elbows, you look down to see him already staring at you.
“Eddie I’m not-“ You’re immediately cut off by him, his tone more commanding than before.
“Say it, or you won’t cum at all. I just want to hear you say it.” He begs, his pace starting to quicken and his thumb now going in figure 8’s on your clit.
You’re quickly hurdled back to the euphoria you were just pulled out of. Eyes rolling around in your head, whining as the string in your stomach pulls tighter.
“I’m, shit- M’perfect. Your perfect wife.” You’re a blabbering mess, head thrashing back and forth in ecstasy.
“I’m gonna cum. Teddy, please!” You beg and he gives you exactly what you want.
“Go ‘head, Angel, let go f’me.” With one last stroke on that sweet spot, you’re catapulted into the paradise of your release.
It feels like you’re floating above the clouds, weightless and free. You don’t feel the gush that splashes your thighs or the sheets, and the voice of your husband is nothing but an angelic voice ringing out.
You return back down to the soft mattress, boneless and melting into the bed. When your breathing calms and you finally have the strength to open your eyes, you’re met with a Cheshire Cat like smile and the soaking face of your husband.
“You did such a good job for me baby,” Kissing you sweetly, you can taste yourself on his lips. Pulling away slowly, you bring your arm to his pants, rubbing your palm along the outline of his hard cock.
Shaking his head, he gently grabs your wrist and puts it above your head. “This is about you, Angel. Wanna make you feel good.”
A quiet okay leaves your lips and he continues to work himself out of his pants, letting his dick bounce out of its confides. Saliva pools in your mouth, the desire to taste him takes over and you whimper.
Chuckling at your pouty face, he moves back between your legs that you parted for him. When he runs the tip of his aching cock through your folds, you both hiss on contact.
Lining himself up, Eddie brings his hand to your hip where he rubs his thumb in soothing circles. Both of you moan in unison when he finally breaches your entrance, a feeling neither of you have gotten used to.
Pushing himself further into you, he takes his time to let you adjust to his size, something you still haven’t gotten used to. He stretches you out so nicely, filling you up like nothing else you’ve ever felt. Nothing can compare to him, every bump and ridge of his cock making it even better.
Lacing his fingers into yours, he hovers over you as he starts thrusting slowly into you. A choir of moans are made between the two of you, singing a song better than anything Eddie’s ever written.
With the way your legs are wrapped around his waist, you try to push him in deeper, wanting to stay this close with him forever. This isn’t just about fucking or getting off, this is about the man you fell in love with all those years ago and how he’s appreciating you. He’s trying to show you just how much his heart yearns for you.
“So good, so fuckin’ good for me.” Eddie pants heavily as he thrusts the tip of his cock ramming into your cervix just right.
“Always so good f’me, Angel. You take such good care of me, such a good wife for me.” He’s babbling at this point, reaching the tipping point faster than he thought.
Tears prick the corners of your eyes, all you can think about is how much love you love each other, how good he’s making you feel, and how he was able to pull you out of the darkness of your horrible thought.
Removing his hand from yours, he snakes it down your body to find you abandoned clit. With the added pleasure, you clench harder around him and the air in your lungs seeps out in a high pitched gasp.
“I can’t wait to fuck my load into you, baby. Gonna get you nice n’ round, show everyone you’re mine. You want that? Want me to fuck a baby in you?” His voice echoes in your ears and travels down into the pit of your belly, getting you closer to the edge.
“I wan’ it, s-so bad, Teddy. Wanna feel it.” You’re babbling, toes curling at you tippy toe over the line of your orgasm.
“F-fuck you sound so pretty when you beg. Come on, Angel, cum for me.”
And just like that, both of you unravel together. Him painting your walls in his release, while you guys around him. Eddie works both of you through your highs, thrusting sloppy and lazily into you until he can’t anymore.
Eddie doesn’t pull out of you right away, not wanting to let go of the feeling so soon. He lays on your chest, trying to settle his breathing as best as he can. Bringing a hand to the top of his head, you rake your nails softly into his hair.
Humming in delight, Eddie kisses your chest as a thank you. A small blip of time in a long year, the kind that makes the bad days all worth it. The secrets whispered in hotels and lingering trail that still burns on your skin, invisible kiss marks left for reminders.
It’s worth it, all the hardships and long months, when you know he’ll always find his way back to you. The sweet boy from 9th grade that promised his heart to you, now sings his undying love to you for thousands of crowds to hear.
More tears leave your eyes, not in sadness but in pure happiness. You’re so fucking in love with him and sickeningly so, just like Gareth said.
Swiveling his head up to you, Eddie rests his chin lightly on your chest.
“Hi.” He says meekly.
Eddie doesn’t question your tears because he has tears of his own and he knows they’re for the same reason.
“Hi.” You parrot back to him, a wet smile adorning your lips.
“Do you believe me now?” Sweet brown eyes pulls you in, sucking you in as they stare at you.
“Yeah, I do.” You reassure and he smiles.
Using his free hand, Eddie takes his finger to trace shapes over your heart. You melt when you feel him draw a heart with your initials and his on the inside.
“I wanted to tell you,” He flits his eyes down to his finger where it doodles on your skin, “the guys and I have a break now that tours over. So I was thinking..”
A pregnant pause settles between his statement and he makes no moves to finish it. It reminds you of the first time he asked you on a date, nervous and fidgety.
“What is it, Teddy?” Lifting his chin with your fingers, you raise an eyebrow to coax him into answering.
“I was thinkin’ maybe we could try, ya know, for a family or somethin’. “ Eddie’s cheeks and the tips of his ears are coated in a pink blush.
Your heart picks up and you know that Eddie can feel it under his finger. Smiling with all your teeth, you cheeks ache from the stretch.
“You wanna have kids with me?” Your voice is only a whisper and he giggles at you.
“Well I don’t know if you noticed but, I just blew my whole load inside of you.” The bluntness of his statement makes your cheeks burn. Slapping your hands over your face, you cover yourself from the embarrassment
“Hey, don’t need to get all shy on me now,” Pulling your hands away from your face, he smiles smugly at you. “If I recall correctly you were the one all like “yes Teddy ugh please!!”.” Eddie mocks you and you roll your eyes.
“Bye the way, I’ve been counting every eye roll since you got here and I promise your in trouble when we get home.” He points and accusatory finger at you causing you to clench around him.
“I love you, Teddy. Thank you.” You place a kiss to his lips and he smiles brightly at you.
“Don’t need to thank me, baby. I’m glad I’m here to remind you.” Pecking your lips once more, he pulls a way with an even bigger smile.
“Also, I love you too, Mrs. Munson.”
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1K notes · View notes
cheolhub · 1 year
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LOVE SCENE — LEE SEOKMIN ࿐
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summary. you’re scared that seokmin might want to go separate ways after graduation, but he proves, in more ways than one, that he wants you. forever.
wc. 2.3k
warnings. college au. nerdy soft dom!seokmin, breeding kink xx, obscene amounts of dirty talk, pinch of angst, literal love making, unprotected sex, marriage kink, HEAVY praise, baby talk, v minimal plot im sorry — MINORS DNI 18+
note. DAMN ok i have a lot to say so i’ll keep it short. ONE this was a request but like i kinda didn’t do anything the request asked for and im so sorry, i hope u can forgive me anon. TWO i literally lost sight of the plot so dont ask me abt any missing details ehehb just enjoy seok being hot <3 THREE happy belated birthday to my minnie <3 FOUR thank u to my luvr @rkiv4d for beta-ing. yas ok enjoy
p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated— i also love to hear ur thoughts <3
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how seokmin pulled you, the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, he has no clue. he’s what people call a ‘nerd’ with his thick-rimmed glasses and his abnormally high IQ and you’re the pretty girl that didn’t understand the simplicity of covalent and ionic bonds who fell head over heels for him. 
you couldn’t help it, he was so smart and so fucking pretty. he was awkward and he giggled when he got nervous and he was so unbelievably goofy that it had you laughing till you cried. nevertheless, he was the most beautiful man ever. 
then you asked him out. he remembers it like it was yesterday. the last day of your chem class– the end of the first semester of your sophomore year– right after your final. you thanked him incessantly, giving him a hug for helping you get a B in the class. you told him you’d rather thank him another way— another way being a date. with you. at your place with a homemade dinner. 
he would’ve been stupid to decline. so he didn’t. and the rest was history. seokmin became your boyfriend, grew more confident in himself, and fell in love with you.
now you’re in your final year, the last few weeks approaching quickly, and you’ve been anxious. anxious about seokmin leaving you, anxious about going separate ways after graduation, anxious that this was all just fun and games till it was time to get serious about life.
seokmin has picked up on your behavioral patterns over the past 2 years. he knows you so well, probably better than anyone else in your life– probably better than he knows himself. 
so when seokmin sees you evading his eyes with his cock stretching you open, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 
“hey,” he whispers, stilling inside of you. when you don’t turn your head and your eyes are still closed, he calls for you. “baby?”
you feel your heart clench at the pet name. “hmm?” you hum.
“baby, do you not wanna do this anymore?” he questions worriedly, ready to pull away from you. “i can pull out.”
you mumble, “i-i do.” 
he cocks his head even more confused, “talk to me, pretty, what’s going on?”
he pushes into you some more, making you gasp and you can feel his expectant eyes burning holes into your face. you then realize he’s not gonna let this go, but it’s partially your fault for letting your mind wander while he was putting away the dinner you guys ate. you decide to just come out with it.
“‘m just… so scared of graduating…” you whimper between your words, eyes screwing tighter. 
he hums, “look at me, baby.” the demand comes out so soft, yet the sheer dominance of his voice makes you clench around him. you turn your head on the pillow, opening your eyes, and finally looking at him. “why?”
you shudder at the eye contact. he looks so pretty, so concerned over you, yet you’re still tense and oh-so nervous. the topic of post-grad has never come up, and now you’re mid-fuck about to tell him how you want to be with him forever. 
“i-i’m scared that… that you’re gonna go off without me,” you pant, hands wrapping around his biceps and holding him to keep you stable. 
“where am i gonna go, beautiful?” he whispers, bottoming out and fully sheathing himself inside of you. 
you whimper again, his massive cock filling you so well. “s-scared you’re gonna go do big things ‘n leave me…” 
he freezes at that, eyes widening, “leave you?” he asks incredulously as if he couldn’t believe that you’d ask that question. “baby, you think i’d leave you?” 
you nod slowly. “i dunno, ‘s just that i’ve been thinking ‘n you’re so smart– gonna go get a real job that’s across the country or something…” 
he’s honestly bewildered. why would you ever think something like that when he’s tried so hard to show you how much he loves you every single day?
“oh, baby, i would never fucking leave you.” he presses his forehead yours, nose rubbing against yours. “pretty fucking thing, i adore you— love you. more than anything.”
your eyes glisten with tears at the reassurance. you feel yourself relax under him, entirely fluttering at his words. “really?”
“yes, really. how can i prove it to you? want me to put a ring on your finger?” he whispers, breath fanning against your face. 
you gasp, clenching around him again, fingers digging into his muscles. he smiles, chuckling airly at your reaction. 
“my pretty baby wants that? you like that idea?” he asks, his sultry voice filling your ears. “you wanna be my wife?”
you nod your head, eyes fluttering shut as you moan, “yeah, w-wanna be your wife.” 
your response has seokmin reeling. he pulls his hips back and slams back into you making both of you moan again. 
“yeah? bet you want my kids, too.” he states boldly, mind cringing at his words and internally freaking out that you’ll get turned off at them. 
you choke, clamping tightly around his length. “f-fuck.” you cry. “d-don’t say things like that, seok.”
“why? ‘cuz i’m right?” he grunts, thrusts growing faster.
you nod your head and seokmin nearly cries, cock twitching at the idea of pumping you full of cum and getting you pregnant with his kids. you’d be such a great mom and he’d love having a mini-seok running around a nice, big house fit to take a family. 
admittedly, he’s been wanting to talk about his future with you. he’s been fantasizing about it since the first time he said he loved you. fantasizing about you being his wife and living together in a big house and having three kids and living happily ever after as if it were some fairytale. he’s imagined your kids and how they would be a constant reminder of his everlasting love for you. he hopes that they’ll look like both of you– kids with your eyes and his nose. he’d kill for that.
“wanna put a baby in you,” he mumbles, lips ghosting over yours. “swear to god, ‘m gonna give you everything you want– ‘ll get you a ring ‘n a house– everything. just say the word.”
you lift your head to press your lips to his, moaning into his mouth like a mad woman. your stomach drops in anticipation, suddenly craving the feeling of his warm cum filling you to the brim, sure to get you pregnant. your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his back and you can’t resist the cry that he ends up swallowing at the new angle. 
seokmin pulls back, panting, “gonna let me give it to you, baby?” 
“uh-huh!” you nod, eyes screwing shut and jaw going slack as his speed increases. “yes, yes, please give it to me.” your response is wavered as you nearly choke on a sob of pleasure. 
and you know the decision is haste– a baby even though you still have a month left of undergrad seems… absurd to say the very least, but you don’t need to think about anything. you know seokmin. you know he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. he's an amazing boyfriend and person in general. you already know he’d make an even more amazing husband and father. 
who would’ve thought the nerdy man with glasses who was insanely good at chemistry would be the one you ended up with?
he lets out a guttural moan, “such a good girl, always saying please.” he praises, slamming into your sweet spot repeatedly.
and jesus fucking christ, your moans and cries are like music to his fucking ears. 
his head falls into your neck, licking and sucking at your skin. “never gonna leave, i promise. gonna make you mine, gonna take care of you.” he mumbles into the skin as he continues to mark and ravage you. 
the stimulation and his words are sending you into orbit as your stomach churns and tightens at the feeling of his cock rearranging your insides. his strokes are impressive, never missing a beat and unrelentingly hitting the spot that makes you crumble. 
he feels you tighten around him, gummy walls squeezing him in and he curses, “shit, is my pretty girl gonna cum already?” his voice borders on condescending, but it only makes the tightrope in your stomach all the more closer to completely unraveling. 
“y-yeah, so close,” you moan breathily as your pants increase, chest rising and falling rapidly. “so fuckin’ close, min, ‘m gonna cum.”
his lips find your ear and he whispers hotly against the shell, “come on, baby, cum for me so i can fill you up.” he gently tugs at your earlobe with his teeth and you can’t resist, back arching with a shiver running down your spine.
your orgasm brings you immense pleasure, white spots filling your vision as you cum with a loud sob. you feel it in your entire body, from your curled toes to your thrown back head. your eyes roll back, calling out his name and raking your nails down the skin of his arms. 
he coos, holding back a groan at the way you get even tighter as you soak him in arousal. “thaaat’s it, baby, just like that. so, so good for me.” he coaxes you through your euphoric high, fucking you through it as he always does. 
“s-so good,” you slur, parroting his words as your mind numbs a bit. 
he moans, letting the sound of your whimpers and the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting fill the room. he buries his head in your neck again, desperately rutting into you so he can let go, too. your eyes flutter closed again and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. 
your overstimulated pussy pulses around him as you listen and whine along to your lover's muffled moans. you can tell he’s close. so close to giving you the life you’ve imagined for almost 2 years. so close to being yours forever. 
“seok, cum inside me,” you whisper and his hips stutter, yet they keep moving as if they have a mind of their own. he lifts his head and looks at you– his eyes are clouded over and teary, yet they’re filled with all the love in the world.
he looks so beautiful above you. his face is scrunched up in pleasure, brows knitted, eyes droopy, mouth hung open as pretty sounds exit his loose lips.
“i… fucking love you…so much.” he says in between pants, thrusts growing sloppy. the telltale signs of his fast approaching orgasm becoming heavily apparent. “god, so much, baby, love you so much.”
you nod your head, mirroring his pleasured face. “me too, seok, i love you.” your words are a bit scrambled, but seokmin makes sense of them– understands you so well. 
his eyes roll back a bit at your response, brain momentarily malfunctioning, but he comes back seconds later. “gonna take this load like a good girl, right, pretty? gonna get pregnant and let me marry you?” he moans out breathily, cock now twitching uncontrollably. 
“yes, yes, yes, please, wan’ it so bad!” you beg.
it’s all he needs to press his hips to yours, stilling there, and releasing inside of you while he moans out your name so prettily. it’s a newfound feeling for both of you– his cum coating your cunt, filling you up till it’s spilling on his freshly washed sheets. he’s grown accustomed to finishing on your skin or into a condom, but this? this is all very new. this is something he now can’t live without.
you think the same thing when you feel him spraying your walls with his thick ropes of cum. it feels so good– so euphoric– while it’s leaking out of you. you don’t know how you’ve gone your entire adult life without experiencing this at least once.  
“c-came so much, baby…” you whimper, feeling him pull his cock out of you. 
as soon as he sees his release dripping out of you, he groans softly, already feeling hard again, but he decides to ignore it for now, bringing his attention back to you.
“hey… love,” he says softly, noticing the way you perk up a bit from your tired state just at the sound of your name. “you should’ve told me you felt like that… i hate that you thought i’d just leave you ‘cause we won’t be in school anymore.”
you frown, “i’m sorry, i didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward… it’s the real world and i dunno… things are different.”
he sighs, hands running up and down your naked sides. “i get it, but like i said, i wanna be with you forever.”
you blush, biting your lip to hide the wide grin that ends up on your face despite the fact. “yeah, i remember… was that a proposal by the way?” you ask meekly. 
he squeezes at your waist, “did you want it to be?” he beams.
“i mean, it was a bit untraditional, definitely not how i expected my wedding proposal to be.” 
“what? you mean you didn’t think you’d get proposed to while i had my dick inside you?” he asks with faux incredulity. “i, for one, thought this was the best proposal ever. i even put a lil baby in you.”
you giggle, wrapping your legs around his body again, “you don’t know that, i’m not pregnant… yet.”
his heart swells at the idea and he smiles brightly at your blushy face, “well, maybe another round can change that, hmm?”
you pull him closer to you by the strength of your legs and say, “make me yours then, seokmin.”
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lisired · 1 month
Text
waiting game
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pairing: best friend’s dad!johnny x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, dilf au, age gap, unprotected sex (dont b silly wrap yo mf willy!), orgasm denial, edging, half the fic is just johnny & mc teasing each other to death, oral (f receiving), fingering around people
summary: Your best friend’s dad is a smoking hot dilf seeking vengeance after you’ve spent the past couple of years teasing him, but it seems that you can’t handle a taste of your own medicine.
word count: 9.1k
a/n: ¼ of the Temptation series. feedback is appreciated!
Time was something ironic to you. It flew by quickly when you were having fun, yet seemed to drag on when the moments were dull. If you had to give a prime example, it would be now.
This current moment, with you listening impatiently to the vexing sound of your clock ticking while counting down the minutes before you got to see Johnny again. You had a study date with your best friend - his daughter - in over half an hour, and you were beginning to wish that you hadn’t planned your outfit so far in advance. Now you had nothing to distract you from your throbbing heartbeat in the meantime. 
To say the least, every moment with Johnny was nothing short of thrilling, no matter how brief. He had the power to summon a swarm of butterflies in your stomach with a mere smile - unbeknownst to him, of course. As far as you knew, Johnny knew nothing of your silly little crush on him and you wanted to keep it that way. It was fun to imagine what it would be like if he reciprocated your crush, but that’s precisely all it was—your imagination. Hypothetical situations you could only fantasize about. You had to give yourself the tough reminder that he’d never be into his daughter’s best friend. He could never.
Still, you liked Johnny. He was friendly and though he told his dad jokes, he was funny. He was confident. He knew how to cook and he was smart, and you liked that he always knew how to direct conversation. You and Johnny talked sometimes, usually whenever you stayed for dinner, or breakfast. He had never let you feel invisible, or like you were invading a space that wasn’t yours. He welcomed you.
But of course, he was also smoking hot. Smoldering, even. You recalled the first time you laid eyes on him, when you were visiting your best friend and he was in the front yard, mowing the grass. Sweats and a tanktop. Hair stuck to his forehead like a second layer. Drenched in sweat as he battled the summertime heat. Sometimes you still wondered if he caught you gawking, whether it was when you first saw him looking like that or when he told you that he was your best friend’s father and not her brother.
(You were even more surprised to hear that he was in his forties. He could have passed for late-twenties, and you almost scanned his head for a sight of a single grey hair but decided that would have been rude).
Yet as attractive as he was in every sense of the word, there came again the rough reminder that he was equally out-of-bounds. It always slammed roughly against you whenever you daydreamed about him, forcing you to remember that there was a boundary between you both. You could not have Johnny. And even if he were to want you, he couldn’t have you, either. God forbid you thought about how unrequited this was.
None of that ever stopped you from liking him, though. In your heart, there was still an ounce of hope that maybe something could blossom between you, weeding its way through the cracks of the invisible boundary.
What were those cracks? Easy: temptation.
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Like any other day, Johnny looked absolutely mouthwatering. He wore a satin shirt and dark jeans, brown hair parted and his skin gleaming beneath the kitchen light. You desperately wanted to make your move right then, but your best friend crashing into your arms forced you to remember why you couldn’t.
“Gosh, I missed you,” Jessica cheered as she wrapped her arms around you firmly.
“It hasn’t even been three days since you last saw me,” you replied amusedly, nonetheless hugging her back. Jessica wasn’t your best friend for no reason. She was closer to you than anyone else, even your own parents. She knew everything there was to know about you. You knew that you could tell her anything, but this was different. You’d rather take this one to the grave.
She rolled her eyes as she loosened her embrace and let you go, “Whatever. Three days, three weeks, it all feels the same,” she said dramatically, making you both snicker. “But for real, my dad was like, just making dinner. Wanna join us?”
It had smelled delicious all the way from the front door. But that was Johnny for you, with cooking being one of his favorite habits. You would feel bad about eating their food though, so you leaned towards declining.
As if he could hear your reply before you said it, Johnny chimed in from the kitchen, “I made your favorite.”
That shut you up before you could reply. Your mouth hang open then closed, and after a moment of self-debate you opened it again. “Shit, pass me a plate,” you’d have to be running a fever or replaced by a shape-shifting alien to turn down Johnny’s chicken Alfredo.
You rested your backpack for now, ignoring their laughter as you strolled inside the kitchen.
By the time dinner ended, Jessica had to unexpectedly leave, mentioning something about a work emergency that you failed to completely catch. You didn’t mind too much, of course. It gave you the perfect excuse to stay in company of Johnny, and you even offered to help him wash the dishes as a thank you for dinner.
“Thank you for helping me with the dishes. You didn’t have to,” Johnny said, stretching his arm to put one final dish away in the cabinet. His sleeves were rolled up so you eyed his biceps like they were the meal, but forced yourself to look away before he could notice.
“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I could do after you made such a wonderful meal, sir,” you replied respectfully. In the same breath, it took everything in you not to let your eyes trail down his body. His shirt was unbuttoned, leaving all the good stuff out in the open.
“Don’t flatter me,” Johnny joked. “Do you know how to cook?”
You couldn’t stop your laughter. “Of course not. I’m a safety hazard in the kitchen.”
Johnny snorted, “Why do you say that?”
“Sir, my expertise extends to instant noodles - hardly even that. One time, I burnt them and nearly killed my microwave.”
Johnny’s eyes crinkled. He knew now to keep you at least six feet away from his microwave, maybe even forbid you from touching his stove or oven. He also thought about giving you lessons. “How in god’s name did you do that?”
“I forgot to put water in them!” You explained, tone laced with shame. “Even if I did know how to cook, my skills are no where near yours. You’re like, the cooking connoisseur. I can’t imagine you forgetting to do something as simple as putting water in noodles.”
“It was an honest mistake,” he replied sympathetically. “But I like hearing about it. Tell me more about your failed cooking escapades.”
“God, where do I even begin? Let me tell you how I got banned from contributing to Thanksgiving dinner,” you said, and went on to explain the whole ordeal.
The way Johnny was snickering at you, it was almost like your conversation had the Victorious laugh track - except his giggles were genuine and the frequency of them didn’t irritate you. He had a beautiful laugh, one that made you simper. It went without saying that Johnny found you entertaining. He knew that he could never drink anything as long as he was around you, in fear that you’d have him spitting out his drink at every funny comment you made.
Johnny also let his eyes linger on your frame. Never had he ever seen anyone make skinny jeans look as stunning as you did, and it helped that your body was highlighted. You could feel his gaze burning into you, but chalked it up to your imagination running wild again. There was no way in hell Johnny Suh was checking you out.
Little did you know, that was exactly what Johnny was as doing. He so desperately wanted to fuck you then and there, but resisted. The opportunity would surface some other day, and to be honest he wanted to see where things would go. You weren’t half as subtle as you thought you were but he was going to play dumb until you quit these little games of your own.
“I’m an excellent cleaner, though,” you added once you concluded your story. Your lips curled into a smirk for the most brief moment, yet Johnny still caught it.
He also didn’t fail to catch the flirtatious undertone. “Yeah? Is that how you secured an extra slice of peach Cobbler versus all your hungry cousins?”
“And siblings. And uncles. And don’t forget my aunt’s seventh husband. But yeah, you get it. Favoritism also goes a long way.”
Johnny was amused, to say the least. He was still stuck on the fact that you had practically just offered yourself as a housewife to him, although it wasn’t necessary. He could think of plenty other ways to use you, other ways that you could put in work for him. It was tempting, but he was more determined to make you wait. He wanted to bottle you up until you exploded, and only then would he bother to clean up your mess.
The sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway ended your conversation abruptly. He seemed quick to wrap things up once he heard the car door lock. “That’s Jess. Thank you, again, for your help. You two are probably about to study now so have fun, and make sure to tell her I’ll be working in my study!”
So typical of Johnny to drown himself in work. A workaholic if you knew one. You were disappointed by the conversation coming to an end, then aroused by a thought in even less time. You knew that he had to be exhausted and could only think about letting him take his stress out on you, bending you over his desk and fucking you with his entire being.
Shaking the thoughts away, you replied, “I will.” Inevitably would you revisit them (or they would revisit you, rather), but for now you had to focus about studying with your best friend.
You weren’t slick at all, and Johnny wondered if you knew that.
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In the following week, you had been coming over more often. That in itself wasn’t suspicious, but he noticed that your clothes became shorter by the day. Nothing completely out of line, yet he couldn’t help but catch how the inches decreased day after the next. He noticed that you became less shameless in flirting with him. At one point he thought that the only way you could be any more obvious was if you confessed the truth, but then you started lying to him. You made up silly excuses as to why you showed up when Jessica wasn’t there, and he had a different plan.
As always, excitement flowed through your veins when you walked through his door. You were always eager to see him, and even more thrilled to show off today’s outfit - one of your favorite skirts paired with a cute top. To be honest, you didn’t know why you were doing this when you had nothing but your intuition to support you, but something told you to dress nicely today.
It was no shocker that Johnny did too. His sleeves were rolled up yet again, muscles peeking through the fabric, and you could only wonder if you’d ever have the luxury of seeing him completely shirtless. Jessica had mentioned earlier inviting you and another friend to chill in the pool this Saturday, but that didn’t mean her dad would be involved. You could only hope, though you were pulled away from the thought when you heard him call your name.
Cluelessly you blinked, asking dumbly, “Did you say something?”
The presence of a smirk was on Johnny’s face for a sliver of a second. You had caught it, and felt your cheeks warm at the thought that you had been caught staring - much worse spacing out - at him.
He repeated, “I said, what’s it today?” And you flushed some more. You obviously knew that you had been over more recently, that was the entire point. But something about him acknowledging it was thrilling yet frightening.
“You say that like I come over every day.”
“It sure feels like it. You might as well keep a key and put some of your things in the spare room,” Johnny retorted. Your heart sank a little at the thought that maybe you really were overdoing it, and sensing a drop in your mood, he added, “Hey, I’m just messing with you. How may I help you today, princess?”
Princess. He had no clue, you could be such a sucker for pet names. You didn’t even know if it was the pet name itself that had your knees wobbly or how it sounded rollling off his tongue, but you didn’t care. You were losing your mind and hardly covering it up.
You cleared your throat. “I left my notebook here, and I just wanted to pick it up.”
Johnny furrowed his eyebrows. “Jessica said that she dropped it off at your place this morning.”
Well, that backfired. It was true that you had left your notebook, and intentionally, but it wasn’t apart of the plan for Jessica to bring it back to you. Now you could only play dumb and pretend that you hadn’t known about it.
“Oh, um,” you were caught, and damn Johnny’s suffocating gaze for not helping at all. You felt like wilting beneath him while he stared at you like that - cynical and inscrutable.
Instead of giving you time to form a reply, Johnny only walked forward, and you had no where to run but backwards, until your rear hit the wall and you were grounded in place. “You wanna know what I think?” He crooned, hardly containing a laugh at how bewildered you looked. “I think that you haven’t been forgetting anything this whole time. I think that you wore this pretty little skirt, all for me.”
You gasped when his hand landed against your skin, raking up your thigh and underneath your skirt. In that moment, you were thankful that you had worn it. Johnny had complete access to your body, and you liked it. You liked how his gaze rooted you in place, still as though he would have somehow punished you for making any sudden movements. It was clear that you could have moved if you wanted, but even clearer that you liked the feeling of power he had over you. You wanted him to control you, to maybe push him to any surrounding limit to see just how commanding he could be.
“I think that you just want my attention, baby girl. Is that right?” He asked, as though he wasn’t feeling the answer. With his fingers circling your panties, you knew he was only asking for any other reason than confirmation.
You whimpered, “Sir, please.”
“Please, what?” Johnny questioned, playing clueless. He knew what you wanted. He had definitely known much longer than expected, you realized. All those times where you were so obviously flirting with him, he was choosing to play dumb and ignore your antics.
“Please touch me,” you begged.
Johnny smiled softly - condescendingly - but he still wore that fake confused expression on his face, “I am touching you though, aren’t I?”
Fuck, were you already getting tired of this. He knew damn well what you meant by touching you, and this wasn’t it. You wanted more. You wouldn’t care if he manhandled you right now, you just were in desperate need of his contact so then, and only then, would you be satisfied.
You could sound no more desperate as you whined, “Sir, please, I need more.”
He only laughed - dead in your face. “I don’t think that you deserve it.”
“I’ll do anything,” you knew that you sounded pathetic, but you had been waiting far too damn long for him to be teasing you like this. You couldn’t think of one reason why you wouldn’t deserve it, but there was already a mental list brewing of things you were ready to do to convince him. If a blowjob was what it would take, you’d be on your knees in an instant.
The offer tempted Johnny and he would be lying if he said that it hadn’t. But you had been teasing him for years now, and he wanted you to know how it felt when the tables were turned. If you were going to play games with him, then he was determined to beat you, to push you to every edge until you caved in to defeat. Johnny wanted you on your knees begging, and he was determined to have that. What better way to play than to give you nothing at all?
He liked the premise of you can look, but you can’t touch. There was no better way that he could punish you than by giving you a taste of your own medicine. Restraining himself was much more difficult than he had let on, but he knew you had half his patience at most. With the tricks he had up his sleeve, he’d have you caught inside his net in no time.
He tilted his head. “You want this?”
“Need it,” you replied without missing a beat.
Just as quickly, Johnny pulled his hand away from underneath your skirt, and therefore followed the little relief he had permitted you. An instant whimper fell from your lips, but it was clear as day that he didn’t care. His laugh mocked you, teased you, and you couldn’t fathom why he was playing with you like this. You wanted to ask him why he was toying with you, but he would beat you to any words.
“That’s too bad,” he replied, nonchalantly. “I want you to wait for it.”
You whined, “Haven’t I waited long enough?”
You didn’t realize how close he was to you until then. Nevermind how his eyes pierced holes through your skin and made you swallow hard, instantly making you regret saying anything. How you could feel the warmth of his body radiating onto you without him touching you - even if he practically was. How he towered over you and made you feel so much smaller in comparison to him, how he made you feel frozen in place with nothing but a mere glance. It was power. It was prominent in his eyes, whispering, You’ll do anything for me. You couldn’t tell if it was a simple statement or a demand, but it was true.
“Don’t you think that I’ve waited long enough?” His eyes were cold. You wanted to move backwards, but there was no escape. You were trapped beneath his gaze with no where to run. “Don’t be so selfish. You’ve been playing your little games with me for the past couple of years. Don’t you think it’s my turn now?”
It was then that you realized what this was. It was revenge - sweet to him, yet so bitter to you. Karma really was a bitch.
You heard a car pulling into the driveway, and Johnny finally stepped away from you. “See you later,” a day, two days, a week - whatever amount of time defined the wait of later, it was too much. Call it greed. Call it selfish. But you just couldn’t wait. You wanted him. You needed him. Your body was yearning for touch, but you could feel nothing but cool air.
You needed Johnny now, and yet he refused to give himself to you.
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It was finally Saturday, and you were nothing less than thrilled. The days in between now and the last time you’d seen Johnny felt closer to weeks and now that you had an excuse, you were going to be downright insufferable. As if you weren’t going to be insufferable either way. With the way things turned out during your encounter with him, you realized than instead of wallowing in defeat, you needed to play back harder. That meant leveling-up and making it known that you weren’t going down without a fight.
As you hoped, Johnny was also in the backyard. Jess had invited you and her crush Mark over for a pool day, and Johnny insisted on grilling for the three of you. You were ninety-nine percent convinced that you were half the reason, with him simply wanting to get at you - and that he did. He looked more mesmerizing than he usually did, sweat making his skin gleam, and it took you back to the first time that you’d seen him.
You shoved the memory into a dark corner in the back of your brain. Determination filled you to the brim, and you had just the trick up your sleeve to make Johnny lose his mind.
“Ready for the pool?” Jessica asked as you both stepped out onto the patio.
It was difficult to hide your smirk as you replied, “Born ready.” You had been planning this moment out for days, and you refused to let reality not match your expectations.
She rushed to get inside the pool with Mark, but you took your sweet time, waiting for the moment when you could feel Johnny’s eyes on you to drop the towel. It revealed a bright red bikini, and the look on his face when you glanced up to capture his reaction was worth a million bucks. He was looking at you like he wanted you, and that alone was enough to satisfy you.
Don’t burn the food, you mouthed cockily, just before sending him a week and diving into the pool with your two friends.
The rest of the afternoon consisted of mutual stares that lingered far too long, and by the time the day began to fade dull you had been in and out of the pool and Johnny had gone inside. With Mark and Jessica being equally sprung for each other it was easy for your third-wheeling adventure to begin, and you were yearning for more excitement, running out of battery from earlier’s thrilll.
Some time later, you all agreed to end the night here and Mark and Jessica decided to go on a walk before he went home. It being implied that you were going home, you all bid your good farewells to each other and headed out of the pool.
But when they left, there was Johnny standing on the patio, eyeing you as you stood by the edge of the pool. “Heading out?”
“I was,” you replied, but if he intended on staying out here then maybe you’d charge your mind.
“So not anymore,” Johnny smirked as he put the pieces together. “Let me join you.”
You shrugged, as a sign of not caring what he chose to do, in spite of the fact that your heart was racing. You sank back into the water, preferred it over the feeling of freezing air prickling your skin. Johnny’s eyes never left yours as he made move for the pool, but yours left his the moment he tugged his shirt above his head.
Of fucking course, he was ripped.
Feigning nonchalance was becoming difficult - your mouth watered and you could hardly stop your eyes from popping out of their sockets. To make matters worse, he looked even better in the water with his skin golden, water gleaming in the moonlight. The cocky look on his face proved he knew it all too well, and you were struggling now more than ever to restrain yourself.
“Bet you thought you were slick for what you pulled this afternoon.”
You smirked at the memory. Of course, you didn’t. The whole point was to provoke him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about,” Johnny groaned. It sounded hotter than it should’ve, and now you were ready to clip the conversation and cut to the action. “You walking around trying to provoke me.”
You retaliated, “I wouldn’t have to if you would just fuck me.”
It was clearly the wrong answer, you concluded from the way his eyes seemed to darken. He’d put you in your place right then and there if that wasn’t exactly what you wanted. But it was, and Johnny knew that in spite of your front you were crumbling. It wouldn’t be very long before he had you bowing down at his feet.
He seemed calm, though the look in his eye was anything but. “I told you, you don��t deserve it,” Johnny replied patiently. You were a pain in the ass, but he still enjoyed making you wait. It was so obviously driving you crazy, and the day what little patience you had remaining dissipated, he was going to have so much fun with you.
“How can I earn it?” You asked meekly. It was slowly coming to you that Johnny had a resolve of steel, and it would take more than flaunty outfits to get under his skin. You didn’t know what to do and it was making you want to yank your hair.
“Behave,” he said, like you were a toddler. “And maybe I’ll consider it sooner.”
He was climbing out of the pool before you could even think of a response, and even when you called out his name he never turned around. You wondered what he was getting out of this. You knew that all your teasing played a major role, but it seemed to have the opposite effect of what was intended. Instead of wrapping him around your finger, Johnny walked further away from your spell. A part of you kind of liked it. Another part of you wasn’t sure how to adapt. Most boys came to you in a flock at the sight of skin, a little flirting here and there and they were your pawns. But Johnny was so much more complicated, and for once the instructions were unclear to you. You winded up frustrating yourself further instead in your attempts to frustrate him.
He was a puzzle with a million pieces and you couldn’t figure out how to put him together. A stranger you weren’t to challenges, but he was the toughest competition you’d face and the worst part was that he seemed to have you all figured out.
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You always used to think that people were exaggerating when they expressed their desire for someone else. No feeling could ever be so strong as to tear someone apart that way. Yet now that you were in a position where something so close to you felt so far away, you finally understood. You finally knew what it meant to yearn for someone, and it was killing you slowly.
You craved Johnny. It didn’t matter if you were in the same room because he’d pretend as though everything was normal between you and you couldn’t fathom how he could ignore the tension so easily. Especially when it was all you could feel whenever you were in the same space together.
Next Friday was when things began to stir up. Jessica had invited you and Mark over for dinner and considering their obvious crush on each other, they sat beside each other. That left one seat remaining - the one across Mark, directly beside Johnny.
That’s how you landed yourself in this predicament. Johnny’s long fingers plunging in and out of you from underneath the table. It started with his hand simply resting on your thigh but then he started rubbing circular patterns, until he inched between them and underneath your skirt. You were fighting back noises and expressions, yet in contrast he joined in enthusiastically on the conversation like there was nothing happening beneath the table.
“Johnny, they’re right there,” you whimpered when no one was watching. You were thankful that Mark and Jessica were so invested in one another, it decreased your chances of getting caught sneaking around with Johnny since they hardly paid full attention.
“Guess that means you’ll have to be quiet then,” he whispered without a care in the world. “Can you do that for me, baby?”
You could only give a casual, slight nod. If you spoke, you were at risk of letting out moans and that was the last thing you wanted.
Johnny purred, “Good girl.”
Fuck, that was hot. If it weren’t for your two friends sitting at the table with you, you would have moaned right then. All the titles and names Johnny called you made your skin feel hot and made your desire for him multiply. It felt like a test on your patience and you were failing.
In his attempt to act as though nothing was wrong, Johnny asked to no one in particular, “Any plans for the weekend?”
Jessica didn’t miss a beat. She announced excitedly, “Mark and I are going bowling. He sucks and wants me to teach him.”
“I do not suck!” Mark instantly protested. “I got a strike once!”
“Once, as in one time,” Jessica giggled.
Any other time, you would have leaped at any opportunity to tease Mark, but you couldn’t even focus on the rest of the conversation. Johnny’s fingers felt too good inside you, reaching impossible places with precise angles. You couldn’t lie, he did a magnificent job at pretending he was completely engaged in whatever conversation, but you could tell he had shifted most of his attention to you. Even without looking at you directly, it was almost like he could see your reaction and Johnny was determined to steer you right off of the edge.
Whenever a moan approached you, you bit your lip, hard. Or shoved a forkful of spaghetti into your mouth. Whatever you could do to prevent yourself from moaning. The brief glimpse of a smirk you saw on Johnny’s lips confirmed that he was enjoying this, but you couldn’t be mad. You were enjoying it too - especially considering this was probably the most you would get from him for a while, you could only be satisfied.
You were only snapped out of this trance when you heard your name called, snapping your head up in the direction of Johnny.
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Huh?” Oh how familiar this situation had felt.
“I said, do you have any plans for the weekend?” Johnny reiterated, looking at you so normally that even you started to believe he wasn’t fingering you right now.
Oh, did you. If Johnny insisted on not fucking you any time soon, then you were going to have a good ole time with your pal, your vibrator. You couldn’t exactly say that though, and even if you could you wouldn’t dare speak more than three words at once. Not when you were so close. So you opted for simply shaking your head.
“Perfect. With Jessica gone I’ll need someone to help me repaint the walls,” Johnny joked, yet you could see right through what he was saying.
Jessica grumbled, “Dad, no. I told you I’ll help you when I get back.”
You forced your voice up as front as you could, “I don’t mind. It’s not like I’m doing anything anyways and,” you fought the sound back into your throat before you continued, “-and it’s the least I could do after leeching off you guys.”
“You’re not a leech,” your best friend reassured. “But if you really want to help him then suit yourself.”
If only she knew you couldn’t care less about the walls, not when you were focused on a completely different type. You wanted Johnny to paint your walls, simple as that.
Conversation didn’t die, but neither did the feeling between your thighs. They were trembling as you approached your orgasm, and you could feel it creeping up on you. You were about to duck your head to hide the pleasured expressions on your face until you couldn’t feel it anymore.
You nearly whimpered, staring at Johnny with only shock. It wasn’t really surprising considering everything that had happened since that day, but you were disappointed. Johnny kept dropping you off before you got to your destination, and you were sick of his teasing and being unable to do anything about it.
“Sorry, princess,” Johnny murmured, but he didn’t look the part even slightly, with a grin playing on his lips. “I’ll make it all up to you tomorrow.”
You guessed you could wait one more day.
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730 days.
365 days.
2 weeks.
The countdown was done. The stalling and wait was over. The amount of days you had been waiting for this one specifically you had no clue, but none of that would matter to you anymore once you finally tested on your tongue the sweet taste of victory. You were ready.
You could feel nothing but nerves and exhilaration, but you liked it. You liked how you weren’t sure if you were breathing when you rang the doorbell, but you knew that you weren’t the moment Johnny opened the door. If you had a quarter for every time Johnny had left you breathless, you’d be rich. You couldn’t fathom how a man could look so attractive, and it wasn’t like he always put extra effort into it like you sometimes did. It was something raw.
Johnny smiled when he saw you. “You made it.”
“Of course,” you replied. You sounded relaxed, although you were anything but calm. The mere thought of the events bound to happen in the following moments had you overjoyed.
Johnny let you inside and shut the door. You didn’t get far down the hall before he pinned you back against the wall, the way he did the last time you had been in this scenario. But you knew the outcome would be different this time.
His stare was still hard and deep, but his grin never left. “Ready to paint some walls?”
Damn the walls. You weren’t even remotely concerned about anything that wasn’t on Johnny or in between your legs.
You held his gaze and smiled back as you joked, “Isn’t that your job?”
“I see you brought your jokes with you,” Johnny observed. Then his hand scooted underneath your skirt and squished your thigh. “And another pretty skirt.”
Melting into the warmth of his touch was your only option. You were so starved that you weren’t sure if the smallest touch was enough to get your gears in motion, or if your greed for more was insatiable and it would never be enough. Though it was certain that you wanted him, and concluding from the way Johnny was eyeing you like you were his prey, the feeling was mutual.
His hand crawled closer in between your thighs and the whole time you felt as though you were holding your breath. Johnny had a way of effortlessly making you defocus on anything that wasn’t your desire for him. You weren’t concerned about what was right or what was wrong. You weren’t concerned about the consequences. All you cared about was feeling his skin on yours and meeting him inside of the sheets.
“Just for you,” you murmured, somewhere on the verge of breathless. Johnny knew you weren’t lying or saying things just to make the moment. With your history, it was easy to believe you had picked it out especially for his taste.
The skirt was a personal favorite of Johnny’s. He had never stated it outright, but the way his eyes were constantly on you was more than enough confirmation. Of course you would use your speculations to your advantage - the moment had been dragged out enough and by now it was established that you were beyond impatient.
“Yeah?” He cocked his head. “Wanna show me what’s underneath?”
More than anything. You wanted to lift up your skirt right then and there. Instead, you opted for nodding your head, unable to come up with any words let alone a sentence. 
Johnny took no time to toss you up in his arms. He carried you into his bedroom and launched you onto his sheets, eyeing you with a predatory gleam in his eyes. “I’m gonna have so much fun with you, princess,” he cooed.
For once, you had no smart reply - you just let him move on his own accord. You could feel the tension in the room soaring as he crawled above your body, silent and sly as he slithered between your thighs. Johnny could feel his mouth water as he pushed your skirt up, finally getting a full view of what was underneath. Your panties - pretty, lace, and blue (and drenched.)
He pushed them to the side. “Did you wear these for me, too?”
He honestly didn’t even have to ask. The two of you had been down this road before and it was simply a given that you dressed to impress him particularly. Keeping in mind his favorite color plus how much he fancied your wardrobe on you came naturally when you were this desperate.
You nodded again, then asked, “Do you like them?”
“Love them, baby. You look so pretty in blue,” Johnny murmured. His distracted fingers teased your folds and made your breath hitch. You were already wet, but his touch had you melting into a puddle on the mattress. “You ready?”
There was no hesitance in your voice as you whined, “God, yes.” The moment had already been dragged on too long and though you understood that Johnny would probably want to take his time with you, you needed things to pick up the pace, even if just a little.
“Good, because I wanna taste you.”
Johnny pushed your legs out a little more to give himself the room to roam between them. Then he started with pecks to your inner thigh, gentle and sweet and arousing. As if you weren’t aroused enough already. He admired the way your folds glistened with wetness - he knew that you most likely assumed he was taking his time out of being hell bent on teasing the life out of you, but that was only half of the truth. You were just so pretty that he wanted to savor the moment forever.
His tongue teased back and forth over your slit, almost tentatively as though he was only taste-testing you. When you needily bucked up your hips with a whimper, Johnny decided to quit his games and went in for the kill. He ate you out like there was no tomorrow, slow enough to pay attention to detail yet fast enough so that you weren’t left hanging. You bit your lip when you felt him on your flesh. It didn’t subdue your sounds completely, but enough to where Johnny could tell that they were being muffled.
He drew back, dissatisfied by your lack of volume. “Don’t bite your lip. No one’s hear with us so I wanna hear you.”
You were a little dazed when you nodded, present physically yet mentally beginning to tune out. His lips distracted you, coated with a glossy layer of your slick. Minutes ago it was an image that had only seemed to exist when you closed your eyes, imagining this moment as you had longed for its arrival. Now it had become a reality and you were beyond blissful. You wanted to freeze time and prolong the pleasure for as long as possible.  
The only thing capable of sucking you back out of your mind was the feeling of Johnny’s lips reattaching themselves to your skin. You couldn’t suppress the moan that fell from your mouth then even if you tried, caught off-guard as you were absorbed in your head. You could feel the smug grin dashing upon his lips but it was hard to care when he was practically sucking the life out of you. This was all you had ever wanted and needless to say Johnny didn’t disappoint not one bit. He was everything you imagined he’d be times two.
“F-feels so good,” you stammered. There was nothing to fake even if you wanted to, it genuinely felt good and he was serious competition for anyone that had ever gone down on you before. Your brain felt clouded and your skin felt hot and you liked it. Loved it.
Johnny would have been insufferable with the dirty talk if it wasn’t for the fact that his mouth was currently preoccupied between your thighs. You could already hear the words he’d probably say if he didn’t have a mouthful of pussy, “Yeah? You like that, princess?” Oh, and the never-ending pet names. You were usually fond of them, but he made them seem next level. Maybe it was his voice or some other factor, but you knew that you were attracted to it regardless. 
On his end, Johnny was absolutely wrecked on you. From the way he’s going down on you, with an eagerness that only a starved man could possess (and in a sense, he was one), it’s no secret, either. With how well he managed to hide his desire it got difficult for you to remember that he wanted you as much as you did him, and that was an unsafe amount.
You could feel your orgasm creeping up on you steadily. Your gut was practically screaming it at you, and god you couldn’t wait to cum on his tongue. Every day after the next wasn’t simply edging, but plain orgasm denial. Today was the day the torture was meant to stop.
“Close,” you moaned, as if it weren’t obvious enough, “gonna cum.”
He hummed a muffled, “Yeah?” Johnny knew that you wouldn’t last much longer. Aside from the sensation tearing through your stomach, all the outwardly noticeable clues were the tremble of your thighs and the sounds you made. Though much to your misfortune, the next would be of disappointment instead of delight as he moved away from you yet again.
“Sorry, baby,” he for once sounded decently apologetic. “But I want you to cum when I’m inside you.”
“Fuck me,” you pleaded, although you didn’t have to. Johnny was set on his goal the moment he brought you into his bedroom.
“Trust me, I am. Come here.”
Your movements showed no hesitation as you crawled onto his lap. His lips latched onto your neck and aroused a subtle, soft gasp of surprise from you. You made no attempt to fight his actions though, his hands attacking your skin simultaneously as he tugged at the remaining articles of clothing. As his fingers went for your bra, yours came for his own clothes, unbuttoning his top and slipping it down his shoulders.
Johnny chuckled with amusement at how eager you were. Nevermind himself; he was pinning you back down against the mattress roughly, lips attacking your flesh as his hand slinked beneath your skirt. It wrenched your panties down your thighs and found your clit seconds later, meanwhile his mouth was practically glued to your skin, sucking at your chest, neck, and collarbone. Your neck was most likely covered in hickeys and you knew that, but it felt too good to get concerned over. You figured Johnny would probably have wanted to see them anyways.
The sounds you made each time were cute, but only made Johnny yearn for more. He was going to be an animal the moment he got inside you, wild, untamed, and hunting.
Johnny drew back one final time, knowing what he wanted and that he needed it now. He rummaged throughout the drawers of his dresser swiftly.
You crooked your head to the side. “What are you doing?”
“Finding a condom. Practicing safe sex. Unless, you don’t want me to wear one. I’m clean.”
At that, you were chewing at your bottom lip. Your mind was filled to the brim with dirty scenarios you had thought of before, Johnny cumming inside and making you feel full. You knew the sex would be good either way, but damn it, your imagination had won today.
“I’m on the pill. You can go bareback, if you want,” you murmured, in your attempt to appear as though you hadn’t daydreamed about him fucking you raw.
And of course, he saw right through you. But he only grinned smugly and replied, “Say less. Get on your hands and knees.”
As expected, you took no time to comply. You crawled into position as soon as you heard the command, resting on your palms and knees with your back in an arch. Johnny grabbed a pillow and placed it underneath you, ensuring your comfort first. “You good, baby?”
You nodded. “All good.”
Johnny hummed. He positioned himself behind you not much longer, one hand clutching your waist and the other holding his dick as he then slid inside you. The two of you sighed out immediately in relief - you could feel his grip on you tighten the moment he entered you, and he heard the moan you chirped. There was no doubt that the little waiting game only made this moment better for the both of you, wanting each other in a way that was incomparable to any other feeling you’d ever experienced.
“Fuck, so b-big,” you stammered. You were as aroused as you could have possibly been, but Johnny still had a size you knew would leave you breathless once you saw it through more the print against his pants.
Easing in and out of you, Johnny cooed, “Dick too big for you, baby?” He wouldn’t pick up his pace until he was sure that you were entirely comfortable, and would give you the time to adjust if you needed it. He wanted you to enjoy this as much as he would.
You shook your head. “N-no, I can take it.”
Johnny sported a grin, proud. He whispered, “Good girl.”
He had dreamed of moments like this. Moments where it was just you and him, shutting the world out as you felt each other as closely as you possibly could. Moments where he was pressed deeply inside you, making you moan from every thrust. Moments where he would finally taste a slice of the heaven he had wanted for much longer than he could identify. Johnny had known you wanted him since before a couple of weeks ago. Before that evening in the kitchen, before he confronted you in the hallway, and way before your pool shenanigans. You had always been anything but subtle, and even if you weren’t particularly as bold as you were now, there was always a subconscious ache for him in you that he couldn’t help but sense. You didn’t know it, but you just couldn’t hide your lust.
“Such a good girl. Taking me so well, just like you said you would, princess,” he whispered. That was all it took to make you weak. You were too dazed to tell for sure, but you knew you had probably moaned a little at his praise.
You pushed any other thought back into the spider-y corner in the deep shadows at the back of your brain. Thinking about anything other than Johnny and how he felt between your legs was nearly impossible, and you were relaxed in a way that you hadn’t been in a while. He was just so easy to melt into, someone that made you forget about every other minor and major problem and consequence you’d eventfully have to face.
While he was pounding you from behind, Johnny brought his hand right back underneath your skirt and to your clit. You weren’t surprised that he hadn’t taken it off since he was always unsubtle about his favoritism towards it, and he thought you looked lovely like this.
You whimpered needily, “Johnny.” His fingers were fast at work on you, and in the most positive way possible, you weren’t sure if you could handle it.
“You feel so good, baby girl,” Johnny growled. If anything that only made you want it more, although you already him and he had you.
Sex with Johnny was already better than either of you had ever imagined. There had always been this picture in his head, but now that he could feel you taking every inch of him, he wanted to heighten the feeling and surpass the limits. It was the same for you — your fingers and vibrator could never compare to the feeling of having him inside your walls. He was driving you crazy and you were driving him even crazier.
Even if once was already know risky enough, you were already fantasizing about the next time. You were determined that you could do this “under wraps” thing with him if it meant that you could recreate this feeling again. It was too good to pass up, too good to only have once. There was something so intoxicating about how Johnny felt in you, and how he made you feel generally. Being underneath him alone was somehow one of the most pleasurable things you’d ever felt.
Keeping things under wraps, however, was going to be easier said than done. Not only did it mean keeping this a secret from your best friend, you couldn’t afford to have anyone else find out. But with how the bed creaked, and you were moaning his name loud enough for the neighbors to know what was happening in his bedroom, you were going to need more than a good excuse. You could only hope the walls were thick enough to subdue most of your sounds. The only sounds audible in the room were skin-slapping, moans and grunts, heavy breathing and you swore that you could hear your heartbeat in your brain. You wondered if Johnny could hear it too, or if the banging in your chest was something that only you would be able to pick up on.
The force of Johnny’s thrusts knocked your body forward, enough to cause your face to crash into a pillow. He went at a tolerable pace - not too slow, yet not too fast - and yet, your heartbeat was racing. Maybe it was all the action unfolding around you, or maybe it was simply the exhilaration making your blood feel as though it was zipping throughout your veins. Whatever it was, you knew that you liked it.
There was nothing to not like — Johnny fucked you too good for that. It hadn’t surprised you not even a bit, but Johnny was better than anyone who had ever been between your thighs. He was relentless. The pressure your body felt right then was enough to make you implode.
That was when you could feel it approaching again. It was louder, even more prominent, and you were desperate for Johnny to make you cum. Now that you had finally proved to him that you deserved it, you would snap if he edged you even once more. You were tired of being denied pleasure, and you knew Johnny was tired of denying himself the sweet victory.
“C-cumming, Johnny please,” you begged, plea half-muffled into the pillow. You weren’t above it, not when your orgasm was in arms reach. Johnny had tamed you, and whatever shame or face you had to save was discarded ages ago.
“Fuck, yeah? Hold on,” he muttered.
Johnny changed your positions, moving from behind you to above you, and you underneath him. You glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows, wondering what prompted the change.
As if he could read your mind, he said, “Wanna see your face when you cum, baby girl.”
That made your heart flutter.
It was always painfully obviously when you were far from it. As long as whoever was fucking you was doing a good job, there was never a need to question it, and Johnny was doing a phenomenal one. Never had anyone had you as weak as he did and it was dangerous. You were addicted; and now that you were hooked, it was possible for you to take more of him than was safe.
Yet you couldn’t be bothered. Not now, not when you were so, so close to having it all. You didn’t care what was too much, because it didn’t seem like there was even a such thing as enough. You were on the brink of an orgasm, thighs trembling yet again and your face twisting with pleasure. Johnny hissed at how you were clenching around him, tightening his hold on your hips. He wasn’t at all very much far behind you.
“Johnny,” you cried out.
He leaned low, peppering kisses to your neck. “I got you, baby. Cum for me,” he crooned, almost as breathless as you were.
Moans tumbled from your mouth as you did exactly that, wounding your nails in the bare flesh of his back. Johnny was set off only moments after that, either by your expressions or how you were relentlessly clenching around him, painting your walls with his cum as he groaned sexily into your ear. You couldn’t move, barely even breathe as you rested against your sheets. Your chest rose and fell quickly, but Johnny kissing your skin soothed you; it made everything feel okay.
“How do you feel, princess?” He cooed beside your ear.
You answered through a shallow breath, sporting a grin as you replied, “Full.”
Johnny murmured, satisfied, “Good.” He was showing the utmost appreciation to your body and skin, kissing you and holding you and treating you so gently. It was like being beside him alone made the whole world disappear. He was still inside you, softened up, but he wanted to wallow in this feeling a little longer.
“We’ll do this again, right?” You asked. Maybe it was a little desperate, but you needed to know.
“Of course, baby girl. You thought we did all that waiting just to go one time?”
No, you wanted to say. It wasn’t that you had, but Johnny was unpredictable whenever he wanted to be. You needed a little confirmation, just to be safe.
Instead, you opted for shaking your head. “Will you make me wait again?”
“No,” Johnny shook his head back, “not unless you decide to be a brat again and need to be punished. Think you can be a good girl for me, babe?”
You smiled softly, bobbing your head. The last thing you wanted was to be put through that torture ever again, and if all it took to never experience it again was submitting to Johnny, then it was say less.
You had that out of the way. Johnny was accessible to you, and you to him. There was one small conflict now, you remembered as his phone began to ring, with the caller ID being daughter.
There was still another game that you both had to play; hide and seek.
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sunflowersteves · 1 year
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another day, another dollar || b.b.
pairing || bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader
summary || Is Rooster jealous that some random aviator won't stop looking at you? Definitely not.
author’s note || i'm so glad you guys enjoyed my last rooster fic!! i have so many ideas for rooster and i hope you guys enjoy this one! <3
warnings || jealousy, misogyny (not from rooster), fem!reader, some mention of violence, smut, oral sex, blowjob, praise kink, a little sub!bradley, [18+ only]
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“Getting pretty busy, huh?” 
You turned your head around to the unfamiliar voice. You almost raised an eyebrow—he looked smug. “Yep.” You replied, short and sweet. 
You gave him a strained smile in hopes to keep up some customer service facade. You whirled back around to continue to pull the tap and fill up more beers.
He decided to talk to you again. “Think you can handle all this by yourself?”
At the Hard Deck on a buzzing Friday night, you were the only one tending to the bar. Ever since dusk peaked at seven-thirty in the evening, you had been busy refilling beers and taking orders—then occasionally ringing the bell when someone couldn’t pay their tab. 
Penny asked you for a favor when Amelia came home from school with a really bad case of the flu. You knew she felt bad enough leaving you alone on the busiest night of the weekend, but you didn’t mind. Not one bit. You had wished Amelia a speedy recovery. 
You were doing pretty well from the rush of Navy officers, lieutenants, captains, and everywhere in between asking for ales and lagers.
It had actually been somewhat fun chatting up conversations with people. Out of nowhere, though, this lanky twenty-something man stationed himself right in the front of the bar.
He had been staring at you for more than five minutes, and when you paid him no mind—since you were quite frankly busy with customers—he decided to strike up a mundane conversation. It was almost nauseating. 
When you had turned your head the first time, he had his elbow resting on the bar and twirled a pint of beer in his hand. He had a fresh face and flirty twinkling eyes that almost made you gag a little. You knew exactly what he was doing, and you weren’t interested. 
You could tell he was a Naval Aviator with the whole khaki color suit and hat on his head. You could also tell that by the looks of it that he’s new.
You didn’t spin back around, though, when he asked you that question. You didn’t want to give him any attention—hopefully, he will get the goddamn hint. 
“Think you can handle all this by yourself?” Gross. 
“I’ve been doing this for a while. I think I can handle it just fine.” You then turn to Coyote with the four beers he asked for—a genuine smile on your face. He thanked you kindly before sauntering back off to your group of friends by the pool table. 
“Really? I’ve never seen you in here before.” He locked eyes with yours before trailing down your figure and admiring the curves of your hips in tight jeans—a shudder of disgust ran through your body. “I would’ve remembered someone like you.”
Yeah, he was definitely new because if he saw the six-foot-four Top Gun aviator—the top one percent of fighter pilots in the world—that was glaring daggers into him, he would have shit his pants on the spot. You were sure he would never set foot in the Hard Deck again. 
You were Bradley’s, and Bradley was yours. Everyone in the vicinity of the bar knew that. You were always perched on his lap while he spread his skilled fingers across the piano. His arms were always wrapped around your waist as you destroyed Hangman in darts. You two practically couldn’t get your hands off of each other every second of the day. 
No one in their right mind would disturb the pure, raw love between the two of you.
Not tonight, though. Tonight, you were forced under the confinements of the bar area, giving this newbie the perfect opportunity to try and stake his claim.
“Maybe you’re the forgetful one, kid. I’m here every weekend.” You fought the urge to smile in victory when he gave an annoyed expression as the word kid left your mouth.
═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═
“You gonna do something, Rooster?”
His eyes never left your cute irritated face. He watched you give the guy a one-worded answer with a mundane expression. As much as he wanted to give you the kiss of a lifetime, he stood back. “No.”
With Bradley’s answer, Jake was even more amused. “No? I’m surprised. I’d figure by now you’d be trailing over to her like some lost little puppy.”
Bradley bit his cheek to keep from snapping back. He knew that Jake was just giving him shit. He knew that he was just trying to get him all riled up.
It’s what Jake does. But he couldn’t let anything get to him, or he would trail over to you like some lost puppy. Hangman was undoubtedly and stupidly right. 
Jake’s eyebrows raise in surprise at the brooding silence. He expected some little quip and then a smack upside the head from Phoenix right next to him.
Damn, this must be really grinding Bradley’s gears. Jake almost felt guilty for his friend sulking in the corner of the Hard Deck.
“Don’t let Bagman get to you, Rooster. He’s just jealous that your girlfriend rejected him first.”
Phoenix grinned with a teasing smile, and Jake just grumbled to himself. At that, Bradley snorted and shook his head. He was still silent, but his demeanor had at least changed. All of the pilots smiled at Rooster’s shoulders relaxing just a smidge. 
Bradley hated feeling jealous—the angry green monster that sprouted in his chest and sat home in his head was relentless in its hold on him.
His heart always throbbed in his chest, and anger bubbled through his veins when some guy or girl gave you a bashing smile and feather-light touches to your shoulder.
He always stayed silent—brooding—as he watched you from afar. He never wanted you to feel like he didn’t trust you because he did. Oh, he did. He trusts you more than anyone else in the room, and he flies life or death with some of them. He would follow you to the ends of the earth if you had asked him to.
He figured it is most likely some unresolved tension from the tragedies that have struck during his thirty-five years of life, and anyone that wanted to take you away from him burned a hole in his chest.
So, to combat these ingrained feelings, he sat idly by as that guy’s hips were attached to the bar and watched you dodge every single flirtatious glance and awkward pick-up line. He knew you could handle yourself, and there was a whole gaggle of naval aviators that would stop at nothing to make sure you were doing okay. 
“Need another beer?” A peace offering. Jake was already standing up from the bar stool and about to make his way over to you.
He nodded solemnly. “Thanks, Bagman.”
═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═
You looked bored. You looked so absolutely uninterested in this guy still speaking to you, and now, he was over-explaining how F-18 engines work and fly. You were a mechanical engineer. You knew how plane engines work. 
You tried to tell him you did, but he was quick to interrupt to continue telling you about how F-18s have more than one-hundred thousand horsepower.
If you didn’t respect Penny’s establishment and reputation, he would’ve been thrown out of the bar by now. Typical men with their typical egos. Though now that you think about it, you’re sure Penny would have encouraged it. 
Your eyes locked with Jake’s, and your eyes lit up at the familiar face. Finally, someone you actually enjoy talking to. Not that you would ever tell Jake that. 
“Need savin’ over here, hot shot?” Jake had interrupted the aviator and ignored the very irritated look that was sent his way. It was almost like the guy was insinuating that he had caught you—that you were going to be his tonight. The feeling of possession he exuded made you want to gag again. 
Jake could tell you wanted this shift to be over as soon as possible. Your eyes glanced at the random man staring at you before turning your attention back onto Hangman. “Nothing I can’t handle. How many beers?” 
“Two, please.” Jake smiled—cocky little shit. “I think you should go talk to your boyfriend over there. He’s been stewin’ for quite a while.” He paused, eyes sliding over to the stranger. “I could even help ya with the bar.”
You turn around to fill up the empty glasses that he handed to you. “Don’t I know it, Bagman.” It was like the aviator that had been hitting on you all night had disappeared—though, you wish. Just you making drinks while your friends entertained you. It was nice for a moment, actually. “I’m due for a break soon enough.” 
Jake spoke too soon, though, because Bradley was already making his way over to the bar. He couldn’t help himself when he saw the guy stare straight at your ass and bite his lip. The action made his blood seethe with vexation, so his feet started walking before his brain caught up.
“Boyfriend?” The guy looks shocked. His eyes were wide as he stared at you. “What the fuck? I’ve been trying all night, and you didn’t say a fucking thing?”
You pursed your lips. Irritated. “I did.”
“Huh?”
Rooster stood tall near the bar, watching the scene before him. He studied the menacing glare you struck at the guy and a hand resting on your hip.
“I told you multiple times when you were talking about damn plane engines that I have a boyfriend—who’s a naval aviator by the way. I’ve made it crystal clear.”
He didn’t miss a beat. The stranger’s eyebrows were furrowed in rage. He stood up from the bar in an irate stance. “You’re a fucking bitch. Do you go around eye-fucking all the guy's then?” His eyes move over to Jake’s.
“You allow your slut to do this, man?”
You, Jake, and Bradley all froze. The whole bar dulls out into silence from his loud gestures, and all eyes are on you four now. 
The audacity of this kid to insult and degrade you when all you were doing was listening to this guy talk and talk. You gave clear signs of being uninterested. Clear. Not to mention he also had the sheer audacity to make a scene in Jake and Bradley’s presence.
“The fuck did you just say?” You were almost in his face as you leaned over the bar—a hard glare set on him with your fueled anger. The grip you had on the bar counter was starting to ache, but you didn’t care. 
“Tame your fucking girl, would you?” Jake’s hands clenched by his side at the comment.
Bradley’s chest heaved up and down, and he could feel the burning emotion consume his entire body and soul. His hands were almost trembling by his side as his thoughts of tearing this asshole to shreds simmered inside his head. 
The guy scoffed. He tried to turn around to leave but was met with Bradley’s hard chest. Clearly, he had no idea what was coming.
Bradley was sweet—a kind, gentle soul. He has picked you up from your lowest and drew you back up. He has told you things about himself that not even he understands. Bradley Bradshaw was a good man—one of the best, you would even argue. 
However, he had a temper. Call it the jet fuel that was practically injected into his veins, but when that temper was pushed to the brim because someone fucked with you? Yeah, they should hope to be six feet under before Bradley could get to them. 
Bradley towered over him, almost making the guy tower down. He was seeing red—fully unsaturated rage at the disrespect toward you. The guy tried to regain some confidence, oddly enough. “Move out of my way.”
Bradley didn’t move—he didn’t even blink. His jaw clenched and unclenched. His eyes bore into the stranger to assess him. His hand twitched at his side as if it was gearing up to make a move. 
“Apologize. Now.” His voice was deep—it was gruff and hollow that immediately went straight to your chest. He didn’t look like the Bradley you knew, the Bradley that would carry you for three miles from a sprained ankle.
This Bradley looked menacing. This Bradley looked deadly. And you weren’t going to lie, it was hot as fuck. 
“Who the fuck are you?”
Bradley’s eyes flashed with something you were unfamiliar with. He has been jealous before, yes, but it has mostly been the reassuring kind. This was pure seething rage. His eyes were almost red from the amount of anger that pulsated through his body. 
“Apologize.” Bradley breathes out, but his eyes are digging into the man in front of him. “Or I will rip your fucking kneecaps off.”
Jake stood tall—back stretched out as he watched the interaction. He would spot for Bradley any day, especially to assholes like this random guy. He wanted to be ready for anything that could come Bradley’s way. 
The guy opened his mouth but quickly snapped it shut as Bradley took a step closer if it was even possible. He almost dared him too—almost wanted him to so Bradley could get in some punches that this guy deserved. 
“I-I-I’m sorry.” The guy tried to take a step back but was met with the bar counter. “I didn’t mean—”
“Not me.” Rooster pointed directly at you. “Her.”
He spins around faster toward you than you had seen a person spin in your life. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He looks up to your boyfriend for approval, but Bradley’s eyes locked with yours. You nodded as a signal to your boyfriend that you were okay—things were okay. All you wanted was for this guy to leave and Bradley to be by your side again. It’s all you could think about.
Bradley’s eyes retreated back to the stranger, and you could have sworn that the guy almost flinched. “If I ever see you in here again, I will not hesitate. Do you understand?”
The aviator nods vigorously and tries to ignore the deadly glare from Bradley. His hands picked at his sides in nervousness. “Do you understand?” Bradley repeats.
The aviator’s eyes widened. “Y-Yes. I understand.” 
Bradley’s posture somewhat succeeds back into a relaxed form, his eyes already returning back to you in comfort and warmth. Every tipsy person located in the bar had shouted in celebration for kicking out the guy that ruined all the fun. Coyote and Fanboy unkindly escorted him out of the bar and threw him out onto the sandy beach. “Don’t fucking come here again.”
In the bar, everything and everyone had gone back to normal. People started laughing and smiling once more—shoveling more drinks into their mouths. Some even started racking the balls on the pool table and throwing darts.
For you, though, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Bradley. 
He was on you in less than a second, taking two full strides around the bar in desperation. His hands gripped your hips harshly and his lips collided against your own. Your back bumps into the bar, which causes the bottles of booze to rattle against the glass. 
His tongue is shoved into your mouth, and he groans deeply at the taste of beer. His nose harshly bumps against your cheek—messy and harsh with every swallow and molding of your mouth.
You almost whined into him. “Bradley.” Your breath fanned up against his cheeks, and his knees felt so fucking weak for you.
His body starts to sloppily drag you away from the bar and into the back corner of the Hard Deck. His lips never once left yours in a fury to feel you—to be inside of you at any and all cost. His hands make their way down the back of your thighs, and you instinctively jump. Your legs wrap around his torso as he continues to walk backward.
Jake rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Go fuck like bunnies. I’ll man the bar, I guess.” But there was a hint of a small smile on his face. Finally, you two could cut the shit and fawn over each other once again. 
═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═
Bradley pulls you into the supply closet near the break room at the back of the bar. His back hits one of the shelves, and you could hear the sound of cleaning bottles falling onto the floor. 
Neither of you could stop your fluttering hands that followed each other’s curves. Bradley’s lips trailed down your jaw and neck, which left you breathless and aching for more. Your body feels hot—and elated—from his calloused fingers digging into the flesh on your stomach.
“Bradley, please.” He thinks he knows what you are begging for. He wants to taste you on his tongue. He wants you creaming into his mouth until you’re so dumb that you don’t even remember your own name. 
To his chagrin, though, you stop the trailing hand that is trying to make its way between your thighs. “I wanna taste you, Bradley. I wanna swallow your cum.”
His eyes widened. “Fuckin’ hell—” Bradley breathes out, fast and light. He watches you sink down onto your knees and clumsily drag his shorts to pool around his ankles.
You weren’t very graceful from your pure desperation to have his cock in your mouth. Bradley didn’t mind, though. 
His cock jumped from the sight and thought of you in such a state of yearning. “Pretty baby.” He whispered, but it sounded more like a whine. 
Your lips trailed kisses around his thighs. “Do you know how hot it was to see you almost lose your shit on that guy?” Your words slurred together from the intoxication of his broad muscles and lips that were sucked in between his teeth.
You pull down his boxers and almost drool from his ruddy tip dripping in pre-cum. You lightly graze your fingers across his shaft and your mouth waters from his shaft twitching. Your eyes flickered up to see his reaction, his hooded eyes watching you pump his cock.
“You had been watchin’ me all night, Roo. I could feel it.”
He licked his lips. “He-He—” He moans your name. “F-Fuck. He-He can’t take you. I–” God, you’re so hot from your lust-filled eyes racking over his hopelessly hard cock. He withers in your grasp, and he couldn't help but say your name over again. 
“Oh, Roo, no. He can’t take me, hmm?” You hum out the last part of the sentence so your mouth can gravitate to the bulging vein on the side of his cock. “I’m fucking yours, Roo. I’m yours.”
You swirl your tongue and suck your lips around his tip. His hands latch themselves into your hair, and he tugs and tugs. How is he already so close to the edge?
You’re barely touching him, but he feels like he’s on cloud nine, and the knot in his stomach twists and pulls.
“F-Fuck, pretty baby, yeah. You’re mine. You’re mine.” He repeats the saying as his hips involuntarily hump your mouth. You gag around him and his cock shoves further deep into your throat.
You want to guide him to a sweet release for being such a good partner to you. He is yours. He is your Bradley. 
“Oh, fuck–fuck baby, please. My fuckin’ girl—yeah, yeah, yeah.”
He lowly groans out—deep, guttural, and sultry—while his cum paints the inside of your mouth. Thick ropes shoot into your mouth, and the salty taste made you salivate even more. Your eyes watch his hung-open jaw and his eyes trailing down to watch you suck around his cock. 
You swallow all that he has to offer, and you moan out his name while still stuffed with his cock. His eyes widened slightly at the action, and his heart swirled in his chest. How did he get so lucky with you?
You go to stand up and pull his pants back up, but he catches your hands.
“Oh, pretty baby, you aren’t leaving me so soon, are you?” His palm rests below the back of your neck and pulls you into him. His breath fans up against your cheeks, and he presses sweet kisses on your jaw, working his way up to your temple. 
“Roo, if you don’t fuck me right this minute—”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry, pretty baby, we’re jus’ getting started.”
4K notes · View notes
jaylaxies · 11 months
Text
TO THE BOY: who was my rival
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PAIRING: jay x fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, fluff, romance, angst, slight slowburn, mentions of thunderstorm, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, marking, creampie, hot tub sex, shower sex, choking kink, mentions of petnames (princess, doll, darling, baby), mentions of jaemin (nct), yeonjun, taehyun and beomgyu (txt), yeji (itzy), karina (aespa), lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 27.6k (27617 words)
SYNOPSIS: You weren’t sure if luck was on your side when you repeatedly found yourself accompanied by your rival, Jay—a smart as well as humble guy, during the entirety of your university field trip. You witnessed new sides of him, but what you did not expect was to see him shirtless in the hot tub, looking effortlessly beautiful under the moonlight.
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni
OTHER PARTS: part 1 and part 2
A/N: hihii my angels <3 i’m finally back with jay’s part of the series! i want to apologize for the long wait and i wanna thank you all for being so patient! also, thank you soo much for 9k followers <33 i hope y'all will enjoy this! :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are so highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all <33
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You had grown to hate the sound of your alarm.
Seoul was a city that never slept, always bustling with energy, filling people to the brim with new hopes and a promising future. 
For someone whose attention was solely on the betterment of oneself, you fit right into the crowd of ambitious students albeit the sudden change in your routines, having to be more independent now that you lived in the shared rented apartment near your university, not having it in you to live in the dorms even though they were plenty comfortable.
Taking up extra jobs at the nearby cafes only added to your already packed schedule. Not only did it provide you with extra cash, but also helped you escape your ever so present intrusive thoughts. It was your escapism from your past life, wanting to forget all about your heartbreaks and you were glad to see good results, the technique working out well for you. 
Huffing, you got up with a groan and dismissed your alarm. Getting up was not your favourite activity, rather, it was easier for you to stay up the night. Regardless, you got up and dragged yourself to shower, not having it in you to miss the first lecture, especially when the subject was a bit bothersome for you. 
The campus was lively despite it being early. A bunch of new faces around you made you feel slightly better, also stopping to look at the outfits of a few girls passing by, loving the colours of their jackets. 
The scene reminded you of your first day at the campus.
You remember how you looked like a lost puppy finding your way towards your department building. Thankfully, your teacher incharge had recognized your face, calling you over. Only then did you notice the presence of a tall person standing next to Mrs. Min, your eyes fixating on him to see his jawline and you swore it was one of the most attractive faces you had ever witnessed in your life. 
“Jay, come here for a second, meet Y/n,” your teacher, Mrs. Min had said, giving you the name of the stranger easily, and it suited his image well. 
You suddenly felt conscious under his gaze, it was sharp, just like his facial features. He was tall with the prettiest shade of melanin, you noticed he had a few piercings on his ears, which added to his already attractive personality.
He was intimidating until he smiled, eyes turning into pretty crescents as he extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, I’m Jay.”
His deep baritone surprised you, which was fairly warm and welcoming as well. And that’s when you decided to title him as the ‘prince’, prince because of how straight his posture was, as if he had gotten personal training to be neat and perfect. 
You smiled as softly as you could, back straightening as you held on to his hand, yours being smaller than his, and shook it firmly, “Hey, I’m Y/n, pleased to meet you.”
Mrs. Min smiled fondly at your interaction, “Y/n is new in the city, and would love some guidance from her fellow classmates. There is no one better to do it than you,” she spoke and he nodded, listening to her with a serious face. You gathered that Jay might have lurked around the campus before, hence he knew the professors already, “Please be kind enough to inform her about everything a student needs to know here.”
“Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry about her at all, I will guide her through the basics,” he spoke earnestly, bowing down and you followed him as professor Min left you alone with him.
“Uhm, you don’t have to do anything, really! But I’ll appreciate it if you show me the way towards the lecture halls,” you sheepishly spoke, his chuckle making you feel at ease. 
“I don’t mind helping you. When did you shift here?” he asked softly, walking by your side and you answered all his questions, asking him some as well. 
Your acquaintance lasted for two days before you met Yeji, she came to you like a ray of sunshine, you weren’t sure if you had seen a smile so contagious before her. Safe to say, she didn’t leave your side from that day when you gave her a spare pen during your class. 
Speaking of her, you turned around as you heard her voice calling out your name, “Can’t we miss our class today?” she groaned. She wasn't much of a morning person as well, prioritizing good sleep over studies, while also not getting enough sleep at night and complaining about it the very next day. 
“We can, if you want to fail cause we won't understand anything later,” you pointed out, walking straight.
“Why are you so diligent? Let's go to the cafe instead,” she pouted, eyes begging you silently. 
The cafe, it was the one Jay had told you about on the very first day, mentioning how they have the best coffee at the cheapest price, also a top secret place. However, you did end up telling Yeji and Karina about it, the place becoming your spot soon after. Not to mention how you ran into Jay a few times there, exchanging smiles as a greeting.
“Yeji, we can't,” you deadpanned, “Weren't you looking for a tutor anyways?”
“Ugh, I hate it when you're right.” 
The scene was definitely a lot different than what you had back in your hometown, everything felt new to you. A sense of comfort, however, always followed you around. The first two days it was Jay, after that, Yeji and Karina — they never left your side. Karina was born and raised in Seoul, giving her the perfect opportunity to be your travel guide, sorting the problems for you and Yeji both, who had also come from a different town.
You sat down in the middle row of the lecture hall, Karina soon joining you, holding coffees for you both. She was a darling indeed.
“God, I love you,” you hugged her while Yeji brokenly mumbled how she was gonna marry Rina. 
She giggled, opening her iPad which she used to take notes as all the students began pouring into the class.
One thing about your university was that it was full of rich students, rich students who got quality education from the day they landed on earth, and some just got in due to the heavy influence of the family money, donations and a lot more. 
This institution was your dream and priority, and so you didn't mind even though you didn't stick out in the middle of a crowd, but you were happy to know that your professors acknowledged your determination and hard work towards your academic goals. 
This year, you were hellbent on one thing — getting an internship at Phoenix Tech, knowing that one spot would be open for your university students to take up an internship while also continuing with your education. 
Which gets you back to the being rich part, the ones who had the money, got in their internships readily. But, you would have to secure your spot by your own efforts, earnestly.
You sighed, lost in your thoughts before looking up to pay attention to Karina, “What's your plan for today?” she asked, however, you were interrupted before you could answer.
“Y/n, good morning,” Jay greeted you with a smile, sitting directly in front of you as his friends took up the rest of the seats in that very row. 
“Hey,” you said slowly, “good morning,” you returned the smile before your eyes widened, courtesy of Yeji's kick. 
“Are you flirting right now?” she marvelled out loud.
“They always do this,” Karina gave her input, “he smiles everytime he sees her in the morning.”
Another thing about Jay was that he lived in the same apartment as you, a rented one, his door being right in front of yours. Just like you, he lived with one of his roommates, Taehyun.
“I'm sitting right here you guys,” you sighed, “and no, it's not like that.”
“Sure,” they both dragged out before professor Jung came into view, starting the class. He taught well, you'd agree, but a few concepts were hard to grasp in general, hence your undivided attention went to his teaching during the entirety of your lecture duration.
It passed by quickly, and you packed your stuff once the bell rang.
“Jay and,” he paused to look into a list he had in his hand, following up by taking your name, “Y/n, please stay back for a few minutes, I have something to discuss with you both.” 
You tilted your head, confused but nodded at your friends to go ahead, assuring them that you'll catch up soon. 
“I see you both have been doing exceptionally well in your subjects—” he spoke and you felt relieved, “—which reminds me to inform you about the internship applications all students submitted earlier,” that caught your attention, you looked at Jay to find him being just as curious as you, “congratulations, you both have been shortlisted to be the candidates for the same, one of you will be selected by the end of this semester, and will be informed about everything later.”
You bit the inside of your cheek as an attempt to hide your smile, “Thank you, professor! It means a lot to me!” you said, Jay following suit and expressing his gratitude to be selected for the same before you both bowed down together.
“Hey, congratulations,” Jay said once you were outside, holding on to your wrist to stop you.
The sweetness of the boy in front of you made the corner of your lips twitch up, “Congratulations, Jay. You've always been hardworking, you deserve this.”
He proceeded to smile, noticing how he was still holding your hand, he let go of it at once, embarrassed, “I truly wish you luck, I'll give my best, I hope you do too.”
That's when it hit you, Jay was your rival from the given moment, for, only one of you would be selected in the very end. 
Ever since that day, something had switched between you both, maybe it was only from your side but, you couldn't see Jay as the sweet neighbour anymore, he was your rival, no matter how sickly pretty his smile was, you couldn't let him win. 
“Why aren't you happy about it?” Yeji asked once she saw you sulking in your bedroom, she lived with you, and you'd admit that she was a great roommate, always respectful and an amazing friend.
“Because, it's a competition and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I don't get that internship?” 
“Hey! Don't degrade yourself like that. I believe in you, and you should too!” Yeji more or less scolded.
“I just,” you gulped, “want a good future ahead of me,” a sigh left your mouth.
That had grown to be your life motto, and in all honesty, you liked this plan, wanting to stick to it. Yeji pulled you in a hug, patting your back gently. She knew all about your past breakups, and hence, your constant will to move on and become independent enough to not want anyone else. 
You knew that love was a void which feels like home when filled to brim, but, somewhere deep inside of you, laid a strange fear in the form of avoidance. Your safety walls are higher now.
You excused yourself, “I'll be out on the terrace, I need a bit of fresh air.”
Yeji let you go with an encouraging smile, not before taking out a chocolate from her pocket, pretending as if she got it using magic, getting a good chuckle out of you. 
You didn't mind going there in your shorts, the night atmosphere blessed you with a cool breeze, you could feel the winter approaching at a slow pace. The place wasn't silent per se, but it was peaceful enough to lie down on a mattress, peaceful enough to let go of your worries for a while, watching the stars in the sky, trying to make a pattern out of it. 
However, you didn't bring your mattress with you, settling to watch the sky with a craned neck, empty by chase atlantic blasting in your earphones in a soothing manner. Closing your eyes, you let your body absorb the coolness of the air.
Your moment of peace soon came to an end when you felt the warmth of a hand on your shoulder, eyes opening in a panic and neck twisting to see who it was with a hand on your chest, right above your heart.
Park Jay. The one you've been thinking about the whole day. 
“Fancy seeing you here,” he smiled, joining you without any invitation.
“You scared me!” you spoke up, looking at him with an accusatory glare. 
He chuckled, stuffing his hands in his sweatpants pocket, “I'm sorry, I honestly rarely ever see anyone coming up here so, yeah, I didn't want to disturb you. I can leave if you'd want that.”
Ever so respectful.
“No, no! It's fine,” you shook your head, looking up at him in the dim light, his eyes sparkling and a shadow of his curved lips was on display.
“What are you thinking about?” his question came out soft.
You didn't answer, voicing out another thought of yours instead, “I just realized that we never really talked to each other, other than the greetings, of course.”
“So, you were thinking about me?” he teased, bending to your eye level.
Now, that was something he had never done before, nor did you ever see him flirting with anyone else, the statement catching you off guard as you hit his shoulder at the absurd thought, only to come in contact with his muscle, which further render you speechless, “Sure, I have nothing better to do anyway.”
He snorted, “Yeah? What do you think about then?” he asked, coming closer.
You stepped back almost instantly, “Why do you wish to know that?” 
“Because, like you said, we never really talked before this conversation,” he shrugged, “and maybe I want to get to know you better.”
Your cheeks heated up despite the cold wind outside.
“It’s nothing,” you squeaked, “Just have been thinking about the internship, I guess.”
“Worried about it? Don’t be. You're more than capable of getting selected. You were shortlisted for a reason, Y/n.” His words were sincere, which only made you feel worse since you have been restless thinking about him being the one who gets it. 
“You're being so nice about it. Do—do you not see me as a rival then?” you were hesitant while asking. 
“Of course I do! You're my rival, but that does not mean I'll despise you for it. We'll be taking it as a friendly competition, won’t we?” he asked, staring deep into your eyes, and you swear you noticed him gulp down before he extended his arm for you to shake.
“Yeah,” you shook his hand firmly, just like the very first day you had met him, “but I’ll win this, Park,” you spoke as a whisper into his ear.
Competitions are hardly ever friendly. 
It wasn’t a threat, it was something playful that came out of your mouth, like a promise that would lead to more interactions between you both.
“I’m amused, I must say that,” he bit his lip, suddenly grabbing your waist and pulling you closer as you let out a yelp, his voice coming out deeper as he spoke into your ear, “Game on.”
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The exchange from that night was quick to carve itself into your memory. You fiddled with the rings on your fingers as you remember how he stroked your cheek slightly, leaving you alone with a smirk right after he said that. Your whole body felt warm and you rushed back to your room, making sure that Jay had reached his own room first.
Him living in the apartment room just across yours from the corridor made it easy for him to run into you. 
“Do you need a ride?” he asked you, once he saw Yeji locking your door, him and Taehyun coming out at the same time. 
“Yes, please!” she groaned, answering in your place, not wanting to walk all the way to the campus, as she dragged you along with her. 
You smiled at how enthusiastically Yeji talked to them both while you sat quietly, staring at the surroundings outside. The ride wasn't long, barely ten minutes at maximum. 
“You don't talk much, do you?” Jay asked once you were out and walking towards your lecture room, Yeji engrossed in a conversation about aliens with Taehyun, “but, you were talkative that night.” 
You looked at him, “Shut up! That does not sound appropriate!” you whisper.
“Sounds pretty appropriate to me, unless you're thinking about something else,” he wiggled his brows and you pushed him away, walking faster.
To say that Jay had started to acknowledge your presence would be an understatement. You found yourself around him a lot more, and it was purely based on your luck — you weren’t sure if you should call it that. 
He was the first one who rushed to your sitting area after getting the class tests back, always comparing the answers as he went through your sheets with a concentrated pout on his face, while you used to snatch his sheets just to make sure that you had a better score, even by a mark. 
Your ever so friendly competition went on for a good while before your friend groups merged, which caused you to sit down with the four most popular boys of your major — Jay, Taehyun, Yeonjun and Beomgyu. The latter two being the rich ones, and they showed it off well.
People wanted to know how you managed to become friends with the four, when in reality you only knew Jay and Taehyun, your friends being more social and befriending the other two as well.
“I have a good feeling about today,” Karina spoke up, sipping on her iced americano.
“Right? I just have this feeling deep inside of me that we'll be getting good news today!” Gyu spoke up with enthusiasm.
“Well, duh. Don't you guys know what time of the year it is?” Yeji asked with raised brow and you simply looked at your side, only to find Tae being as lost as you.
“Oh! It's the yearly excursion time!” Yeonjun more or less screamed, and you took note of how energetic he was on a daily basis.
“I've heard about those. It's mostly a around three to four days long and they make us visit museums and other such places, however, the resort is talk worthy.” 
You turned your head at Jay's input. You most certainly did not know about all that, but you weren't against the idea either, a break was something you'd been wishing upon for a while, an educational trip would provide you just that. 
“Is it free of cost?” you tilted your head, curious. 
“I don't think so, the amount must be very low since the attendance was a hundred percent the last year,” Karina answered.
“But then again, the uni is full of rich students so you never know,” Yeji spoke up and you nodded. 
The recess bell rang at that very moment, causing your conversation to end and for everyone to head to their respective lecture rooms. 
You waved over to Karina, saving the seat next you for her, however, Jay was quicker than her, sitting down next to you with a charming smile on his face. It was as if he knew that him being around would bother you, even more so now that he had gotten a better score than you on a test, it only amused him further with how you had been acting around him lately. 
“Why are you here?” You asked, brows raised. 
“To get a clearer view of the board,” he smiled teasingly. 
“Yeah, like shifting back one row changes a thing,” you smiled back, voice equally sweet. 
He looked deep into your eyes, “it does,” he spoke up, seeming genuine in a manner, however, you couldn’t reply as your professor had started speaking. 
“So,” he stretched out, having a rather jolly mood today, “who’s ready for the yearly college trip?” He asked. 
A roar of cheers were heard, you joined your classmates while doing so, excited to hear more about it. He had a sheet in his hands, which he waved to silence the class before speaking up again. 
“Now, our department will be visiting a town, it’ll take a day for you guys to reach there, the transport medium will be a bus. Oh, I think you guys will love to hear that the resort we’ll be staying at is rated to be the best one in the state,” he announced. 
You looked at Yeji, impressed with their choices as your professor went out announcing what all museums and institutions you’ll be visiting throughout your stay there, including a day full of fun where you would be going to the beach and the areas nearby. 
He was then quick to circulate the forms requiring your signature and informing you of the amount of the money you had to pay for the trip, which was decent in your opinion. You read the whole two pages full of information, also thinking that you could easily earn a bit more cash if you take up a part time job at a nearby cafe or a convenience store. 
The trip was scheduled to take place in a month, and you couldn’t be more excited. You knew your friends were just as thrilled once you saw them chattering happily, already making plans to visit malls for shopping. 
“You coming?” Jay asked, pointing at the sheet. 
“I guess I am,” you smiled softly, which he returned, “and you?” 
“If you are, then yes.” He laughed once you looked at him in disbelief, wanting it to be a normal conversation for once. 
“Obsessed with me, are you?” 
“You know what they say about keeping your friends close—” he started, making you raise your brows, “—but keeping your enemies closer?”
That caught your attention enough for you to turn and face him clearly, the corner of your lips twitching upwards. 
“So you admit that I’m a threat to you?” 
“What if I say yes?” He replied. 
“Aw, and here I thought you were too good of a boy to admit that,” you teased, his eyes widening. 
“A what?” He asked again, this time raising his own eyebrows. 
“A good boy,” you confirmed, booping his nose. 
Never in your wildest dreams had you thought of calling anyone that, however, the light blush and silence from the boy next to you made it certainly better. 
If there wasn’t enough Jay in your life already, Yeji further made it her task to contribute more to it, inviting Taehyun and Jay over to your place for a pizza night between the neighbours and friends.
“Shocked to see you here, devoid of books at that.” Those were the first words he said as soon as he saw you sitting cross legged on your couch, scrolling through your Instagram, lazily double tapping the posts you found amusing. 
You blinked at him twice before returning to look at your phone, opting to ignore his comment which implied that you had no life other than studying. 
Soon enough, Karina, Yeonjun and Gyu made their appearances at your apartment, getting comfortable around on the couches while the pizza was on its way. 
“Oh my god, I know exactly what to watch today,” Gyu said with a mischievous grin, eyes on Jay, “a horror movie.” 
You agreed quickly, horror movies were something you loved to watch, it was as if you had grown immune to being scared of these made up creatures, it was fun to watch movies with different storylines nevertheless. 
Everyone had agreed to it in no time, trying to find a good movie on Netflix, everyone but the guy sitting next to you. 
“Y/n,” Taehyun called out your name, and you turned your head to look at him, “take care of Jay, he’s scared of horror movies,” he whispered in your ear and you refrained yourself from snorting out a laugh. 
You turned to glance at Jay, he looked unsettled, obviously despising the genre of the movie everyone had so cheerily selected. Somehow, you could now feel the proximity of your bodies, his arm almost touching yours and his breathing laboured. 
It wasn’t as if you had completely shut out boys from your life, but you didn’t exactly let anyone get close to you after breaking up with Sunghoon, and right now, you could only think about how close Jay was to you. 
He pulled up the blanket whenever a jump scare came up, surprising you. You never pegged him to be a scaredy-cat.
The situation would have been comical if you hadn’t paid attention to his shaking hands. 
“Jay,” you whispered, capturing his attention, “are you alright?” You asked, concerned. 
You weren’t close to each other by any means so you couldn’t hold his hand to stop him from shaking but distracting him seemed to be the best idea you got on the spot. 
He gulped, looking down at his hands which were resting on his lap before looking up at you and nodding, trying to keep his composure. 
He didn’t want to seem like a loser who’s scared of horror movies. 
You tried to put on a comforting smile for him, pointing to his phone as you texted him asking if he wanted to get out of here. 
The nervousness was clear in his eyes, and at that moment you realized that Jay was just a soft boy who tried to act tough. Girls at university gushed about how he was both smart and hot. His appearance was crisp and tidy during the lectures, in contrast to the outfits he sported off campus, wearing black and bold fits which made him look intimidating. 
Instead of waiting for his reply, you suddenly announced,  “guys, I’ll be back soon, my head hurts and we don’t have any medicines anymore,” you stated, getting up, letting them know that you’ll be going to a nearby pharmacy. 
Yeonjun frowned, “you shouldn’t go out alone this late at night,” he said, worried. 
You nudged Jay by your elbow to subtly ask him to speak up. 
“Hey, I think we have meds at our apartment, I’ll get you some,” he offered, his eyes shining with gratitude. 
“Really? Thanks, Jay, I’ll just be in my room till then,” you pointed at the door which led to your room and he left soon, getting into his apartment, which was easy as he lived in front of your apartment in the same building. 
He sighed, breathing deeply as he tried not to think about what happened at your place. Many people found it funny for him to be scared of horror movies and he laughed it out, but it wasn’t a joke to him. 
It took him four minutes to calm his nerves before going to your apartment, not looking at the movie playing in the living room, heading straight for your room with medicine in his hand, knocking at your door. 
“Oh, you didn’t have to come back,” you softly said as you allowed him in your room. 
He smiled lightly as he showed you the medicine in his hand, “I had to be a good neighbour and get you this,” he joked. 
The atmosphere was not short of awkwardness, he rubbed his nape as he tried to form sentences.
“I—thank you,” he let out, “it just gets too much at times, I know it’s almost stupid to be scared of horror movies but, I’m really glad you helped me out, despite us being rivals and everything,” he ended his note of gratitude with a tinge of humour. 
The corner of your lips lifted up and you were surprised, having a normal civil conversation with him was something you could never do, you were too busy studying, checking answers and discussing your tests, that’s all you talked about to him. Other than that, the random remarks he let out consisted of teasing and bothering you. 
This was new. 
“Don’t go all sappy on me now, Park,” you said as you noticed his eyes wandering around your room, noticing the posters on your wall and the random books opened and sprawled on your bed. 
“It’s okay to say no if you don’t like certain things, everyone out there is your friend and I’m sure they’d understand if you tell them that it actually bothers you,” you said, hoping you weren’t crossing his boundaries. 
“Everyone out there is my friend, huh? Does that include you too?” He asked smoothly, not wanting to talk about this anymore, it only embarrassed him. 
You were quick to raise your brows, “I clearly remember you saying this one particular line which goes—keep your friends close but your enemies closer,” you say, turning around to sit down on your study desk, trying to get your focus back on the worksheet you were solving. 
“If that’s what you want, love. I’ll keep you closer then.” He had a satisfactory expression on his face when he saw you looking back at him with a face that screamed speechless. 
With that, he gave your head a soft pat as he left the medicine on your desk. 
The sudden opening of the door almost gave you a heart attack, your hand on your chest as you looked back to see Yeji and Taehyun coming inside, asking if you’re okay. 
“Don’t tell me you guys missed the movie to study,” Yeji deadpanned, looking at the worksheet you were solving. 
That seemed to be the most perfect excuse for Jay not being there so you both went along with it, knowing it would be better if they didn’t know about how Jay was simply teasing you again. 
“I hope you feel better soon, Y/n, and please rest sometime instead of studying, that’s what’s killing your head,” Tae stated, saying good night to you. 
“Good night, enemy,” Jay smirked, winking before getting out of your room. 
“What’s gotten into him?” You asked no one but yourself, wondering why your heart was still beating fast. 
Taking Taehyun’s advice into consideration, you opted to sleep instead of studying tonight. You knew that sleep could take your mind off Jay, and you were willing to try it out. 
Perhaps Yeji was right about you not having any fun and you contemplated if being at a random party, hooking up with guys would make you any more confident, but it was given that you were being too closed up in your little bubble. 
It was something you hadn’t bothered to pay attention to until now, realizing that your whole day depended on the presence of the same people you met each day. 
The thoughts of you drifting away from reality and not having the sense of enjoyment and fulfilment bothered you the next day, Karina and Yeji looked at you with worried eyes. 
“Trust me girl, you need to get out for once, come to the party with us!” They urged. 
You sighed, your lower lip bitten as you contemplated, “fine, but you have to stay with me,” you said, causing them to shriek out an excited cheer. 
They talked about how it was really convenient that the party was being held at Yeonjun’s place, and that his parties were the best in the whole university, meaning, you would have to dress up to a next level. 
Even though you had devoted the past few months of your life to studies, it did not mean that you were out of loop when it came to fashion and dressing up. 
You really enjoyed your time while getting ready with the girls, who almost threw a fit, complaining about how they cannot find the right dress for themselves. While Yeji helped you do your hair, your mind subconsciously drifted into wondering whether a certain guy would also be at the party. You couldn’t lie, his sense of fashion was immaculate as it was, but you wondered if it could get any better than that. 
“All done!” Yeji’s voice snapped you out of your trance, and you groaned, wanting him out of your head, which seemed impossible as the events of yesterday kept on replaying in your mind. 
Looking into the mirror, you smiled softly. It had been a while since you had dressed up and genuinely put in effort for your makeup and hair. Ultimately, it paid off. 
“My princess, you look so hot right now,” Yeji purred, her shameless eyes checking you out teasingly, causing you to laugh. 
“Well kitten, we’ll have to miss the party if you keep on saying such stuff.” You winked as Karina watched you two in disbelief. 
“So what, no one’s gonna flirt with me?” She gasped, twirling around in her short, two toned dress which accentuated her figure. 
That was Yeji’s cue to push Karina against the wall and place a sloppy kiss on her cheek, causing her to whine out a complaint and for you both to laugh your hearts out. 
The act was enough for Karina to drag you and Yeji out and finally leave for the party, it was highly convenient that she had a driver who was willing to wait for you all so you won’t have to call a cab back home all drunk. 
Not that you were planning to drink a lot, maybe a glass or two, since the aftermath of being drunk wasn’t something you were ready to face. 
And neither were you ready to face Park Jay in a cream coloured silk shirt with the top two buttons opened, revealing his toned chest along with his defined clavicle, a dainty necklace gracing his neck, the pendant resting right above his sternum. 
A minute had passed since you entered the last mansion of Yeonjun, arm in arm with your girl friends, that’s the exact second you saw him. You met Jay on a frequent basis, however, you had never once seen him in his true element.
That outfit was made for him, the black pants and silver rings adorning his fingers completed the look, hair parted and styled in a way to display his forehead, his usual specs missing and to top it all, it was absolutely mesmerizing how he swayed his body to the beat, dancing with his friend group. 
Even you couldn’t deny that he looked ravishing. 
You shook your head the second you realized that you had been staring his way, gulping down your anxiety as you three walked towards the boys. 
You took a second looking around his place, the bustling excitement of the ones entering the party, the cheers of everyone dancing, gossiping and making out in each corner, the deep scent of alcohol lingering in the air and a group of people playing beer pong at the farthest end of the kitchen. 
The smell of alcohol suddenly left your system as the scent of an expensive perfume infiltrated your senses, almost intoxicating your body. You turned to your right to see that you had now reached the place where Jay, Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Taehyun were previously dancing, and currently greeting you all, you being quick to smile at them. 
However the scent belonged to no other than Jay, who stood right by your side, eyes widening and double taking when he realized that it was you indeed, almost as if he couldn’t believe that you’d leave your room and study for a party. He was staring so intensely, it gave you goosebumps, your will not being strong enough to look up at him. 
At that very moment, Yeonjun took your name in delight, mouth open in surprise seeing you at his party. Being the friendliest person to exist, he didn’t think twice before pulling you towards his taller frame and giving you a hug full of happiness, making you laugh and pat his back in return. 
Through this whole process, Jay’s eyes didn’t flicker away from you even once. 
If Yeonjun was friendly, then Taehyun was respectful, he gave you a high five as the former spoke up about how you look beautiful, causing a shy smile to grace your face. Beomgyu was the epitome of shamelessness, his goofy smirk was enough to make you laugh. 
“You look so hot, baby,” he said, twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. This caused a loud smack to land on his back, a yelp leaving his mouth as Karina watched him, amused, “stop flirting with her you idiot.” 
All the greetings were exchanged, however, you didn’t look at Jay even once, mentally saying it was for your own betterment. 
“Uhm, Yeonjun,” you said, grabbing his attention, “I’m thirsty, where’s water?” You asked, seeing how the kitchen was full of booze with no sign of water. 
He nodded, pointing at the back area of the room, where you saw boxes full of water bottles, you excused yourself and slowly made your way towards that area, making sure not to bump into dancing bodies that overpowered the room. 
Grabbing one bottle from the box, you uncapped it and gulped the water down, till you realized that someone was standing right beside you, your hand twisting the cap back on the bottle and turning to look at him, almost missing how a drunk guy was accidentally going your way. 
Within a second, a big hand encased your waist and pulled you into his chest, almost bumping you, timely saving you from being crashed into the drunken guy. 
“You alright?” Jay asked, face full of concern and you looked at him, gulping when you comprehended the situation. 
“Oh, yes. I’m good, thank you,” you spoke out, causing his expression to turn into one full of amusement. 
Your eyes averted away from his exposed chest, soothing out your little dress which also showed a generous amount of skin, your heart suddenly beating faster than usual. 
He bit his lip, eyes seemingly sharper than ever before a lazy smile took over his lips, “why? No greetings, no hugs for your enemy?” He asked, referring to the big hug Yeonjun had sheathed you in. 
“Why? You wanted one?” You asked, finally looking up at him, trying your hardest not to let your eyes waver. 
He leaned closer, “of course, darling, I was waiting for one,” he said, confidence never once faltering. 
“Don’t call me that,” you let out, cheeks heating up. 
His face shone under the dim lights, giving you the uncalled opportunity to observe his features more intimately, it was the first time you noticed him having a conch piercing. 
“Fair enough, then what do I call you? Princess? Sweetheart? Kitten? Doll?” He listed out, making sure to raise his one eyebrow while he did so, his voice getting generously deeper with each word. 
“I—” you were rendered speechless with the height of his shamelessness tonight, shaking your head and walking away from him, yet he was faster to grab your arm and spin you around, closer to him again. 
The coldness of his rings juxtaposed his warm hands, sending a wave of shiver down your spine, your eyes met his dark ones that stared at you with such intensity. 
It didn’t last long as a laugh bubbled up Jay’s throat, lips stretching into a smile while he took a second to chuckle at your shocked state, causing you to finally breathe at your realization. 
It was simply a joke from his side. 
A joke that efficiently resulted in you being flustered and concerned at his behaviour, but of course, he most definitely would not flirt with you on purpose. 
You scoffed, “you’re insufferable.”
“C’mon, it’s so fun to tease you,” he smiled, eyes shining even more when he saw you pout unconsciously. 
“Haha so fun,” you muttered dryly, wondering if you should have just studied back at your apartment instead. 
He found it endearing, reaching his hand out to tuck a loose strand of your hair at the back of your ear, “you look really pretty tonight, Y/n,” he said, catching you off guard. 
Regardless of his jokes from before, his face displayed earnestness, “you should come out more often, everyone loves having you around,” he spoke up. 
You gulped, “that’s sweet of you to say, thanks, Jay.” You looked around, really not being able to hold eye contact with him, especially when he looked like an alluring piece of meat. 
It was as if you both were not present in the party, simply talking in a secluded area, it made you acknowledge the fact that you had to get back to your friends. 
Not to mention, you had to save yourself from Jay’s comments which were not offering much to help your poor heart.
“I think I should look for others,” you awkwardly let out. 
“If you think I’m letting you go without getting my hug then you’re wrong,” he spoke up, brows raised in expectation. 
You sighed, stepping closer to him, his scent engulfing you as his strong arms wrapped around your waist and your body felt as if it was burning. 
Your cheek rested on his chest as he bent down slightly to whisper, “welcome to the party, love.”
As if his other sentences weren’t enough, he just had to drop a last one to render you speechless. 
With that, he dropped his hand, letting you go in search of your friends with a slight smile on his face, causing you to walk away faster, but before you could walk away far, you turned back to see him touching his face and fanning it, making you wonder if he felt stuffy. 
You tried to find Karina, only to see her being indulged in a deep conversation with the guy she had mentioned she found cute, so you didn’t wish to disturb her, as for Yeji, you spotted her in the kitchen, making out with someone you didn’t know, again, leaving you to fend for yourself through the party. 
You walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a fresh red cup and pouring beer into it, just then a voice calling your name captured your attention. 
“Y/n,” he spoke up. 
Na Jaemin, he was one of the new students in your major, he was also the student your professor assigned you to look after as he was new and would require help from the students who are good and his subject. 
He sported a black button up with jeans, his arms looking buff in his outfit. 
“You look beautiful,” he smiled, showing his perfect set of pearls, which made you smile back at him, shyly, “hang out with us?” He asked, pointing at his friends. 
“Thank you, I would love to do that really, but I think I need a little air right now,” you softly explained and he nodded, telling you that he’d be there in case you wished to join them. 
The slight breeze paired with the luminous stars automatically made you want to get out of the hall, and nearby the pool area, where you settled down on a chair near the empty picnic table. 
It felt surreal, you were so far away from your family, actually investing your time and trying your hardest to do well in university. You missed them, and you missed being with someone who’d show you love and care. 
On the other hand, you were scared of falling for someone again. 
You took a sip of your drink, staring at the illuminated pool water, it looked cold. Your right leg started shaking involuntarily, a sign of anxiousness as you spiralled into intrusive thoughts again.
But not for long, as you turned to see Jay sitting down next to you. 
“Do you know stalking is a crime?” You asked, finally looking at him, maybe it was the alcohol which gave you confidence to do so. 
“And so is sitting alone at a party,” he said, not missing a beat. 
You sighed, “it’s just pretty out here, and it lacks a myriad of sweaty bodies, of course,” you chuckled. 
“What are you thinking about?” He asked, seeing your leg shaking, his warm hand coming to rest on your knee, sending a wave of shock through you. 
You looked at his hand and then up at him, “I was thinking of home,” you told him after a minute. 
“Do you miss it?” He asked softly. 
You wondered how he switched from being flirty to soft so seamlessly, you bickered with him yet it was always playful. He called you his enemy yet it was just a playful attempt to befriend you. 
You were just friendly rivals in the end, and it was slightly hard to tolerate him, but you managed, and so you told him. 
“I do at times, but at the same time I’m glad to be learning to be independent and trying my best to do better in life,” you mumbled, “I’m also really sleepy,” you let out, making him laugh softly. 
“I’m gonna head back to the apartment actually, I can take you along if you’d like that,” he offered and you frowned. 
“Why are you going back so early?” You asked, frowning. 
“I’ve been hanging around his place the whole day so I can’t exactly say that it’s early,” he explained and you nodded, texting your friends to let them know you’re heading back. 
It wasn’t as if you didn’t like it there, you simply had to prepare yourself for the first day of your part time job at the convenience store tomorrow, so you decided to catch up on sleep. 
Jay guided you towards his car and it was the first time you sat gunshot, Jay leaned forward towards your side, face close to yours as your breath hitched, “here,” he said, putting on your seatbelt for you. 
You lost count of the times your heartbeat rose tonight, you silently cursed yourself for falling for his tricks, reminding yourself that it’s nothing but a friendly gesture. 
Midway your ride back, your eyes closed as you drifted into slumber. 
Jay looked your way, a small smile on his face when he saw you asleep. He made sure not to turn on music or talk as he knew you felt sleepy. 
He parked his car, looking your way for a second longer than usual, noticing how you did your eye liner differently for the night before he shook his head and woke you up, letting you know that you had reached the apartment. 
“Good night, Jay,” you smiled at him, not forgetting to thank him for the ride, to which he smiled back. 
“Good night, love,” he whispered as you got in your apartment and shut the door. 
He simply couldn’t understand why he felt happy, it was a normal day for him. Maybe teasing you does make it better for him. 
You on the other hand were relieved that you’d get to sleep and you’d be able to escape the devil for a while.
What you didn’t know was that he won’t leave you alone even in your sleep. 
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The trip was two weeks away and it was finally something you were looking forward to after a long time, knowing that you would be going to the beach which was near the resort as given in the itinerary, which was provided to everyone today. 
You loved beaches, the fact that land and water met to form such a beautiful scenery was enough to make you adore it. 
Leaving the university as soon as the classes got over, you reached the confectionary store near your apartment for the first day of your job. The timings were flexible too as you would have to work after your classes ended and till 10 PM at night. 
Your coworker taught you the basics of handling everything, it was rush hour around the time you started working but it got slower by the time you were finishing your job. 
“Welcome,” you greeted as you heard the door open, it was something you had to do upon the arrival of customers. 
What you didn’t expect was to see Jay there, looking right at you in surprise and you couldn’t do much but cry at your luck. He was everywhere. 
“Since when do you work here?”  He asked, grabbing some energy drinks and lollipops. 
“I started today,” you told him, biting your lip when you saw two high school girls giggling, looking at him. 
Irritating. 
“Ah, that’s why I haven’t seen you around,” he hummed, paying for his things, his fingers brushing against yours as he handed you the money. 
“Are you a regular here?” You asked nonchalantly, wondering if you’d have to run into him daily for the next two weeks. 
“Why? Want to get rid of me that fast?” He leaned on the counter, looking at you with a teasing smile, “is that how you treat the ones who help you?” He asked, referring to last night when he drove you back. 
You rolled your eyes, “yes, you can leave now, sir,” you fake smiled, amusing him yet again. 
He placed one lollipop in front of you, “don’t stay here too late, and to answer your question, yes I’m a regular,” he spoke up, exiting the shop with a wink. 
You gulped down, looking at the lollipop and groaning, if he kept doing this then you’ll be in deep trouble. Jay walked back home with a satisfied smile on his face. He, in fact, had never visited that store before, being a regular was a lie. 
However, he sure had a reason to be a regular now. 
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It wasn’t a lie when Jay told you he would come back, because he did. Each day.  
You didn’t think he would come back the next day, but he was there, right at 9 PM, just like a day before, but this time he sat down and had noodles, it wasn’t as bothersome as the store was empty and he readily discussed the test paper with you. 
Another thing you noticed about him was that he pouted in concentration, which made you smile at his adorable habit. Discussing study topics was the only time you both were civil and serious with each other. 
And yet again, he left a candy for you to eat for the night. 
You were not sure what Jay was up to, but you unconsciously started looking forward to seeing him in the store. With two exams left, you did not expect Jay to come to the store as you assumed that he would study at home, yet he kept his promise and came to buy a few energy drinks, settling down and studying for a while there itself. 
It made you wonder how he was so committed to coming to this place each day. He did see that you were busy tending to the customers, while also having a book in front of you at the counter. 
You were having difficulties understanding this one topic and you asked Jay for help, who despite being your rival, provided you with flash cards and his notes, staying till ten while studying with you. 
It felt normal to have him around the store, you barely realized that one week had already passed by, and in a week, you were going to give your last exam for the semester and leave for the trip on the next day, Jay had searched all about that place and made sure to tell you about the famous delicacies and tourist attractions. 
Keeping that as motivation in your mind, you answered the questions Jay asked you as practice while you were closing the shop, “here’s the last one,” he said, asking you the question. 
Your face lit up with realization and you answered it in a beat, causing his smile to grow along with yours, you jumped as he told you how each one of your answers were correct and before you could stop yourself, you were hugging him. 
He freezed, not expecting a hug from you but reciprocated it almost instantly, his heart skipping a beat without him realizing it. The smile was still evident on your face when you broke the hug, “fuck! Sorry I got too excited,” you apologized sheepishly. 
It was rare to see you express your emotions so freely, you were always timid and shy around everyone, but he was glad to see you come out of your shell slowly. He also noticed that you shook your leg less while attending the customers, overcoming your anxiety. 
You walked back to your apartment together after you closed the shop, still discussing the exam for tomorrow. 
“Listen, Jay,” you called out his name before he got inside the door. 
You were quick to take out a lollipop from your bag and place it in his hand, smiling and saying, “thank you for today, good night, I know you will do amazing tomorrow,” you assured him and got inside your apartment before he could reply. 
He bit his lower lip to contain his smile as he stared at the lollipop in his hand. In little time, he got used to spending time around you, however it was the first time that you had looked so happy around him, not to mention that you gave him a lollipop too. 
He definitely had to do well in the exam now. 
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The cafeteria was bustling with excited chatter from the student body, half of which indulged in discussing about the exam that ended a few minutes ago, the other half cheered about the upcoming trip, it’s planning and looking forward to it. 
Majority of the students opted not to think about the last exam for now, and your group was the one which indulged in the latter conversation. 
Karina had planned everything, she would pick you and Yeji tomorrow morning for a shopping spree so you won’t have to miss your part time shift, and you agreed as you didn’t have any swimwear with you, and you desperately needed new clothes for the trip. 
Your eyes travelled the expanse of the cafeteria but you didn’t see Jay anywhere, which was unusual as he always made sure to sit and have lunch with you all. 
Yeji was quick to notice your wandering eyes, a small smirk on her lips as she observed you doing so but she said nothing, sipping on her drink as she indulged you back into the conversation. 
This exam went better than your previous ones, automatically lifting up your mood as you got ready for your work. You also wondered if you should get your nails done before the trip along with shopping. 
The store was busier than usual, making you and your coworker work even faster, she even stayed back an hour just to help you before handing it over to you, for which you were grateful. 
It was no later than 7 PM when you heard the door opening, Jay coming into your vision, surprising you as he usually visited at a later hour. 
“Hey, how’d your exam go and where were you?” You asked before you could stop yourself, causing a smirk to grow on his face. 
“Why? Missed me?” He asked, laughing when you rolled your eyes and ignored him while restocking the shelf. 
“My parents had come to visit me, I’ve to go and have dinner with them,” he spoke up after a minute and you realized how it was the first time he opened up and mentioned his family to you. 
You turned around to see that he looked bothered, “that sounds nice, do they live nearby?” You asked, noticing his expression. 
“They live in Seoul too, yes,” he nodded, then shaking his head and looking at you, “how’d your exam go?” He asked you, seeing your face lighting up as you told him about how well it went, also thanking him for his notes with a soft smile. 
“Glad to help my enemy,” he whispered softly, patting your head and leaving. 
You stuttered, shocked with his sudden action, calling his name, “wait, are you not getting anything today?” You asked, wondering why he came all the way here.  
“I already got what I wanted,” he smiled, leaving you standing in the middle of the shop, speechless. 
It was hard for you to focus on working after he left, it wasn’t unusual for him to say such things out of the blue, yet it was getting harder for you to control your heart whenever he said anything. 
“You’re pouting,” Yeji said as you both sat down to study at night. 
“What?” You looked up at her. 
“You spend so much time with him, it was about time you started picking up his mannerisms,” she said as it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. 
You had the exact idea of what she was talking about.
You weren’t sure how but you too had started pouting softly while studying and concentrating on a topic, just like Jay. You didn’t even know until Yeji pointed it out, causing your cheeks to heat up, embarrassment flooding in. 
More than that, you were slightly worried thinking about him, noticing how he looked unsettled and bothered when he visited the shop. 
You wondered if he was okay. 
“Do you like him?” Yeji asked, “you literally never talk to any other guy, it’s just him,” she added. 
“Doesn’t mean that I like him,” you said, not looking at her but she was quick to grab your chin to make you look right into her eyes. 
“Say it then, say it you don’t find him attractive,” she ordered you. 
You huffed, closing your eyes with a sigh and opening them to see Yeji waiting for your answer with a knowing smile. 
“Okay, Yes! Yes he is good looking and fun to be around but I don’t like him,” you said, admitting out loud what you were trying to suppress all this while. 
“Knew it,” she winked, “loosen up, babe, he’s a nice guy, it won’t hurt to have fun with him, I’ve seen how you both look at each other.” 
“Now you’re being delusional,” you commented with a laugh, but also trying to register her words. 
You knew it would hurt if only you would be the one to fall for him. What if he doesn’t even like you as a friend? A myriad of questions swamped your mind but even then, you could not deny that you had been thinking of him more than you’d like to admit. 
Shopping with the girls proved to be fruitful as they successfully helped you take your mind off Jay, moreover, you convinced both of them to get their nails done with you. The need to pamper yourself in the midst of exams and the chaos of the excitement of the trip was necessary, as it helped in preventing your breakdowns and overloads. 
You reached back home tired, yet you had to get ready for work, you didn’t have to work for much longer, just a few more days. The shop was emptier than ever, and you had another hour before your shift ended. Your eyes felt heavy, you hadn’t been getting much sleep as you devoted your nights to studying, you wanted that internship at all costs. 
You rested your head on your folded arms as you waited for your shift to end, however, you didn’t expect sleep to take over your senses in the next few minutes, and soon, you drifted into the dreamland. 
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“Sure! Come again.” A cheerful voice woke you up from your nap, eyes adjusting to the light as you found Jay standing next to you. 
That was enough to drive your sleepiness away, you stood up in alarm, “fuck! Did I actually sleep here?” You groaned, “and weren’t there customers here? God did they go away—” you panicked. 
“Calm down, I took care of it,” he said, holding your hand to make you listen to him, “you should sleep more, love.” 
There it was again, that term of endearment paired with your hand in his, it did stray your focus away from your work to him. 
“But—I’m sorry you had to do it on my behalf, I’m so embarrassed,” you whined. 
“Shh.” He put his finger on your lips to stop your rant, “see your shift is over and your coworker is right there,” he said, pointing out at the entryway door of the store from where she was just about to enter. 
Jay could have sworn you looked like a little kid as he talked, but once he looked at your face, he figured out it wasn’t just sleep deprivation, you actually looked exhausted, as if you were overworking yourself. 
You on the other hand froze when his finger touched your lips, “Jay—” you tried to say and he stared at you intensely. 
“Have you been resting at all?” He asks, frowning, “let’s go, you should get some sleep in your bed,” he decides, not letting you speak as he grabs your bag for you and looks your way. 
“I’m fine! You don’t have to hold it for me,” you tried to tell him yet he didn’t budge, so you decided to talk to him while walking. 
“Okay, but have you been sleeping?” You asked, falling in step with him. 
“Of course, I have,” he said. 
“Your dark circles say otherwise,” you pointed out, causing him to stop and look at you. 
“I have dark circles?” He asked, and he almost looked comical to you. 
A laugh left your mouth, “they aren’t too dark, you don’t have to worry, Park,” you told him, placing your hand on his cheek and tracing the under eye skin softly, “right there,” you said. 
He nodded while still looking at you, he bit his lip unconsciously and started walking with you by his side. 
He was relieved as you fortunately failed to notice the red blush creeping up his cheeks and ears. 
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Jay was right, you were overworking yourself, it got worse when you woke up with a mild fever on the day of your exam, not to mention it was the last day of your period too, which provided the absolute worst time for you. During the time of your month, you were blessed with having no pain, no cramps, however, the last day was always the one which left you crying in pain. 
You had no choice but to take medication and get up, you also had work, the last day of work to be precise, which you couldn’t miss. Medicines were important as you were leaving for the trip tomorrow, your suitcase on your bed was the reminder for that. 
“Babee,” Yeji frowned, “take this and are you sure you’ll be okay at night?” She asked, concerned as she had to go and meet her aunt at night, her plan was to reach university tomorrow from her aunt’s place. 
“I’ll be okay, you go and have fun,” you provided her with an assuring smile. 
“Call me if anything happens, okay?” She said and you nodded, grateful for having such an amazing friend. 
The medicines were helpful in containing your pain for half of the day, your exam going by smoothly as you poured out everything you had studied, then heading directly to the store to finish up your work as soon as possible.
The pain had died down yet the fever didn’t subside. You couldn’t do much but wish for it to get better by tomorrow, even after this, you did your best and greeted customers with a smile. Your coworker helped you by taking over for a while as you rested in the staff room area. 
However your rest was short lived. 
“Y/n,” your coworker, Yerin, called out your name with a face full of panic. 
“Yerin? Are you alright?” You asked, worried, standing up. 
She shook her head, “it’s my grandma, I have to leave early tonight, I know you’re not well but can you please take over till one? I’ll ask Miyeon to come and take your shift early, please?” She asked, eyes watering. 
“Go, I’ll take care of it,” you assured her as you thought that her situation was more serious than yours. 
“I owe you big time,” she said, rushing out of the store and you returned to tend to the customers. 
What surprised you more was that Jay didn’t visit the store this particular day, you were sure he would come by to pick up snacks for the trip, yet he didn’t show up. 
You couldn’t wait to get back home and rest anymore, it was past midnight now, and you sighed in relief when you saw Miyeon entering and taking over the shift. 
Your fever still hadn’t gone and you wondered if you should be taking a cab instead of a ten minute walk back to your apartment. Getting out of the shop, you saw Jay getting out of his car, your eyes widening, wondering why he was out at such an hour. 
“Jay?” You asked. 
“Get in,” he said, grabbing your bag and you followed him wordlessly. 
“What are you doing here?” You asked, getting in the car. 
“I came by earlier and overheard you talking with your friend,” he said nonchalantly, “you shouldn’t stay out this late,” he murmured, his eyes not meeting yours.
He leaned in closer, finally looking at you as he grabbed the seatbelt and put it on for you, “here,” he whispered, putting his hand on your forehead, his frown deepening, “you have fever, let’s get you home, you should rest, Y/n.” He didn’t wait for your reply, starting the car and driving. 
You stayed silent, mostly because you were stunned by his actions, also as you felt under the weather, wanting to get in comfort of your bed again. 
You got back in no time, Jay wordlessly grabbed your hand as you got into the lift for your floor, you saw his lip bitten, something he did when he was deep in thoughts. 
He took the keys from you and helped you in the apartment, “do you need help?” He asked as you got into the bathroom to take your makeup off and change. 
Your cheeks burned hot with his question, your body already hot with fever, “n—no!” You let out, getting out in your comfortable sweatpants to see Jay with medicines and water in his hand, his face displayed exhaustion, yet he was here, helping you get in bed. 
“I’m so sorry you had to do all this, Jay,” you said as Jay sat down next to you on bed, “you really should get back and sleep too, we have to get up early in the morning,” your voice came out soft as your eyes threatened to close shut. 
Jay couldn’t leave like that, he was feeling uneasy ever since he heard you were unwell and still working, although he knew that you won’t budge until you complete your shift, and so he came to pick you up instead. 
“Don’t worry about me, just go to sleep, love,” he whispered. 
Your eyes were closed as you spoke your next words, drifting into dreamland while you mindlessly asked him, “do you really see me as a friend?” 
However you weren’t awake to hear his response. 
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The constant buzzing noise resulted in you waking up, you stirred in your sleep, opening one eye with a groan. A scream left your mouth when you noticed that you weren’t alone, but it was Jay who was still sleeping right next to you. 
Your voice startled him enough to wake up, “Y/n?” He said mindlessly, touching your forehead to check your temperature now, “no fever now,” he smiled, groaning and getting up from your bed. 
That wasn’t your concern at the given moment, you grabbed your phone to check the time and it was a few minutes past twelve, which was way past the time allotted to you to reach the university for the trip. 
“Fuck, oh no,” you panicked, looking at Jay, who looked back at you with the same expression as you both cried out together. 
“We missed the bus!” 
You saw your phone ring again, it was a Yeji, “Y/n! Oh, finally! Where have you been? I’ve been calling you for hours!” She exclaimed, the background noise indicating that she was in the bus, which would have left four hours ago. 
“Yeji, I missed the bus—I had a fever and I overslept and Jay was here, we both missed the bus!” You almost cried out and she asked you to take a deep breath. 
“Get ready,” Jay spoke on the other hand, entering your room again. 
“What?” You breathed out, looking at his messy hair, which still made him look handsome, his voice a tone deeper than usual as he had just woken up. 
You shook your head, listening to what he was saying, “I talked to Mrs. Min and told her we had an emergency so we couldn’t catch the bus, so instead, we’ll be going together in my car,” he smirked, “guess you’re stuck with me, princess,” he winked, getting back to his usual self as you stared at him with wide eyes. 
“Y/n? Y/n!” Yeji called out your name, making you realize that you were still on a call, and you filled her in with the latest information that you would be travelling with Jay. 
Soon after the call, you got out of the bed, feeling way better than yesterday as you showered in record time, getting ready and grabbing your luggage just to see Jay getting out of his apartment too. 
He was clad in a denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up, black jeans and replacing his usual specs were a pair of black sunglasses. You averted your eyes, not wanting to be disrespectful and stare at him. 
“Are you sure we can do this?” You asked, knowing that it was a long journey. 
“Of course, we can. Oh hold on,” he spoke, his fingers coming in contact with your cheeks softly as he picked up your fallen piece of eyelash and placed it on the back of your hand. 
“Make a wish,” he smiled, causing a smile to grow on your face as well. 
You closed your eyes, choosing your wish very carefully, as you manifested it to come to true. Soon, you opened your eyes and blew air on the lash, causing it to fly away, taking your wish along. 
You didn’t notice his stare on you as you did so, nor did you know that your lash didn’t only carry your wish, but his too, which he made alongside you. 
“Let’s go,” you both nodded, pulling your respective suitcases with you. 
You tried to act normal, but in reality, you were anxious beyond words. Reason being, you had to be alone with Jay in a car for the whole day, that is, if you catch up to the bus on time. 
Jay seemed rather casual about it, not once mentioning last night and you slowly tried to count the number of times he had selflessly helped you, he missed the bus because of you  and yet, he didn’t complain about it once. 
“You really want me to do everything for you, yeah?” He raised his brows, coming closer again, causing your breath to hitch. 
He maintained eye contact as he dragged the seatbelt into the buckle, chuckling when he saw you looking at him with wide eyes. 
“Cute,” he whispered to himself, making sure you didn’t hear it. 
It was the third time he had done that. You always forgot to buckle up and he always did it for you. Your heart was pumping crazy and it was only the start of the trip. 
He started the car, soon driving seamlessly as he gave you his phone to select the song to play from his personal playlist. If not for the music, the car was silent. You gasped when you felt his fingers on your knee, which you did not realize was shaking, his hand successfully stopping it from doing so. 
“What’s on your mind, princess?” He asked, looking straight at the road. 
You bit your lower lip, ignoring the nickname as you said, “I just wanted to say thank you for last night, it’s because of me we missed the bus—”
He interrupted you when he realized that you were going to blame yourself for the situation. The situation he was happy to be in. 
“Now you’re going all sappy on me,” he teased, “and I bet you would’ve done the same for me, right?” He asked, looking your way for a split second, feeling proud when he saw a smile ghosting your lips. 
“Yeah, I would have.” Your answer was supposed to be a joke yet you knew that it had underlying truth to it. 
Jay took his hand off your knee to steer the wheel, instantly making your skin feel cold at the lack of his warmth. Looking his way, you observed how effortless his driving seemed, he was confident and someone you could rely on. You couldn’t help but notice how sharp his jawline was, and a little heart-shaped birthmark decorated his neck, causing you to smile. 
Reminding yourself to stop staring, you decided to look out of the window. The weather was rather pleasant today. You noticed the presence of clouds in the sky along with the wind blowing, which swayed the trees just enough for them to look like they were dancing. 
Jay noticed your smile and comfortable state, however he was still worried about your health and wanted you to rest throughout the car ride. 
“Do you feel better today?” He asked. 
“Oh—yes I do! I just don’t do well on certain days,” you trailed off, wondering if you should talk to him about your period. 
“That time of the month?” He asked casually, not wanting you to feel awkward. 
Just then your gaze fell on his arm, veins popping out as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, distracting you enough to miss his question. 
“I’m sorry, what?” You asked again, embarrassed. 
He chucked, repeating his question and you nodded, “my last days are always painful, i don’t usually get out of my bed but we had an exam so, yeah,” you told him and he nodded. 
He cleared his throat, “so I grabbed the painkillers and other medicines just in case you feel sick again, let me know if you do, yeah?” He asked. 
Your stomach erupted into butterflies at his gesture. You knew you were in trouble, and to distract yourself, you decided to tease him instead. 
“Worried about me, Park?” You asked with a teasing smile. 
“How can I not worry about my princess?” He said, taking the lead and playing the same game with you. 
“Do you give nicknames to all the girls you meet?” You asked him, looking out of the window to hide your face. 
“No, only the pretty ones,” he smirked. 
You stilled, wondering how he said such things so coolly. 
“You can’t just say that!” You exclaimed, knowing well that your cheeks were burning just because of his words as you smacked his arm lightly. 
“Hey! Don’t abuse the driver!” He faked disbelief before letting out a laugh. 
It was easy to fall into a conversation with him after, bickering over the sound of music as he drove you towards the resort smoothly. 
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The sun was setting by the time you woke up, realizing that the car was stopped, you opened your eyes to find Jay’s gaze fixated on your face, eyes reverting when he saw you waking up. 
“I was just gonna wake you up,” he said, rubbing his nape and pointing at the burger joint you had stopped at. 
You stretched your arms, frowning, “you’ve been driving all day, aren’t you tired, Jay?” You asked.
“Don’t worry about me, we can rest for sometime and eat here,” he said, urging you to get out of the car. 
“There's a washroom over there,” he pointed at the sign, “you can go and freshen up, I’ll wait for you in the restaurant.” 
You nodded, getting in the washroom and doing your business, you looked dishevelled as you slept in the car, going to the sink to wash your face. 
Never in a million years you would have thought that you’d be travelling with Jay like this, he was nothing but a rival in your eyes, maybe, just maybe a friend too but ever since that party and his contestant visits to the store, you started feeling differently, as if you were closer than before, he helped you out on numerous occasions and took care of you without any say. 
You wondered if he did so for all his friends. 
Jay couldn’t help but stare at the entrance, waiting for you as he had already placed the order for both of your meals. It was finally when he saw you coming towards the restaurant area, a smile took place on his face. He waved his hand to grab your attention, and your eyes lit up in recognition when you saw him, coming towards him. 
In those twenty one seconds of you making your way towards the table he was sitting at, he observed a few things; you had let your hair down, which was previously in a ponytail. The bracelet you were wearing was not on your wrist anymore, meaning that you had removed it. You had reapplied your clear lip oil as well, which was strawberry scented. 
He was glad to see you cheerful even after the long journey. Your batchmates had already reached the destination and you were four hours away from it still. It was getting dark already and you wondered if you would be able to reach on time, especially with the weather changing into a cloudy one, indicating that it might rain soon. 
“Hey, where’s the menu card?” You asked, sitting right in front of him. 
“Hold on,” he whispered, standing up slightly to get his hand over the table and wipe the corner of your lip, where the lip oil had spread, causing your eyes to flutter shut at the feeling. 
“All done,” he smiled, and you opened your eyes again, looking down at your hands, “oh and I placed the order already, it’ll be here any second now,” he let out, and you tilted your head. 
“But I didn’t order yet,” you said in confusion. 
Just then the attendant came over with a tray, placing it on your table and wishing you a happy meal as she flashed a friendly smile before leaving. 
If you thought Jay was full of surprises uptill now then you were proven right as he continued to surprise you by ordering your favourite drink and the flavour of pasta, a noise of disbelief left your mouth as you looked up at his expression of satisfaction. 
“Are you really a stalker?” You asked, mouth still open in amazement. 
“Stalker? No. I’m just someone who observes things well,” he pointed out, urging you to eat while conversing. 
“Right. Then how did you forget and bring the wrong drink for Yeonjun a few days back?” You raised your brow, tasting the pasta which was scrumptious as it melted perfectly on your taste buds. 
You were happy you earned extra cash by working because you don't want Jay to pay for your meal too, he’s already doing so much by driving you both. 
“That was one time!” He argued, cheeks red as you laughed at him, giving him another example of when he forgot to bring the right flavour of ice cream for Beomgyu. 
The dinner was full of smiles and comfort, you couldn’t lie that you liked seeing him blush and bicker with you, it was something he incorporated in your conversations at the most unusual times, doesn’t matter if the conversation consists of him flirting with you, or studying with you, or just talking with you, he had to make it funny at all times. 
“I’m paying,” you said as you asked for the bill. 
“Dinner’s on me, princess,” he said, holding your hand which was busy taking out money. 
You frowned, “you’re already driving, Jay, it’s the least I could do,” you said, and he smiled, turning away for a second before he nodded. 
“You think too much,” he said as he saw you paying, “thank you for the meal, love.”
In the past two minutes, he had used two of the nicknames which sent you into a frenzy and you tried your best to not look affected. Jay knew that you’d feel uneasy if he paid for this as well, which would lead to you feeling anxious, and so he figured it would be better to let you pay for this one. 
The journey was comfortable and you were only two hours away when the first raindrop fell on the windshield of Jay’s car, causing him to cuss out in disdain, knowing it would be hard to drive in rain. 
To your luck, you spotted a hotel after ten minutes of driving in the rain. You thought it would get better but you were proven wrong when you heard thunder accompany the rain, causing you to flinch with fear. 
You detested thunderstorms. Your fingers fidgeted as you closed your eyes shut, trying to focus on the music instead of the sound outside. 
Jay noticed your state of fear and decided it would be best for you to stop and spend the night at the hotel instead of travelling in such harsh conditions. The wind got stronger and it was hard to see the road anymore. 
Jay took the turn and gave the car for valet parking, grabbing your hand and taking out the luggage as you looked at him in question, your eyes looked tired while your lip trembled. 
“We’re staying here for the night, at least till the rain stops,” he tells you as he takes you to the lobby. 
“Jay, no! That’s—it’ll be so costly,” you said and he squeezed your hand. 
“It’s fine, let me take care of it,” he said, talking to the attendant. 
“I can’t let you do that,” you whispered, grabbing his arm and he looked down at your body pressed against his. 
He bit his lip, nodding at the attendant before turning back towards you. 
“Just trust me, love. We can’t be out there in such weather, it’ll be okay,” he said, grabbing the room card and walking towards the lift, “also, we’ll have to share the room,” he spoke out awkwardly, “it’s holiday season so all other rooms were booked.” 
“T—that’s fine,” you nodded, leaving his hand which you were holding subconsciously, “only for a few hours, right?” 
“Only for a few hours,” he nodded, getting out of the lift and guiding you towards your room, where your luggage had been kept already. 
The sound of thunder didn’t reach you anymore and you finally started breathing normally again. Jay was quick to call your professor and inform her about your situation, and her being ever so understanding, asked you to reach by the morning, meaning that you’ll have to wake up early to make it on time. 
“You can take the bed, Jay, you’ve been driving all day,” you spoke softly as you saw him rummage through his clothes. 
“No can do. You need to sleep well, and so you’ll take the bed,” he said. 
You tried to argue back as you got your comfortable nightwear out from your suitcase, which consisted of pink shorts and a shirt. Jay let you take a shower first and you spent all your time thinking about how you’ll have to spend another night with him, however, this time you’ll be in your senses. Heat creeped up your body as you tried to shake your thoughts away. 
“It’s just Jay, it’s only him,” you whispered to yourself while drying your hair using the hair dryer provided in the bathroom amenities. 
You looked at yourself in the mirror, giving yourself a look of motivation before you went out and saw Jay casually sitting and using his phone. 
“You can shower now,” you said, getting out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed. 
Jay looked at your endearingly sweet outfit, his automatic reaction of biting his lower lip commenced as he tried his best to not to pull your smaller figure into a hug. Instead, he hurried up to take a shower. 
You texted Yeji and Karina in the group chat, letting them know about your current situation and their reactions were exactly what you had expected from them both. 
Yeji: girlie you’re spending nights with jay now? 🫣
Karina: Shut up and pray he’s got protection w him 🙄
You: guys?? nothing’s gonna happen wtf? 😭
Karina: You sure? I mean, he is hot ;)
Yeji: bet she’ll drool once she sees him shirtless 🥴
You: gawd that’s NOT happening, i'm going to sleep
You kept your phone aside. The opening of the bathroom door grabbing your attention, your mouth feeling dry all of a sudden. 
Suddenly , you really wished you hadn’t looked that way. 
A gasp left your mouth as you closed your eyes, seeing as Jay was only in his black sweatpants and nothing more. Meaning, he was shirtless. 
“Oh god, Park! Put some clothes on,” you complained, eliciting laughter out of him. 
“Why? Are you shy?” He teases, coming closer as he uses a towel to soak the excess water from his hair. 
You scoffed, looking directly at him as he leaned in closer so his face was on your level, his bare arm on the bed supported his weight, which also displayed his veins. 
“Please, I’ve seen better,” you lied, as in fact, you had never seen anyone’s body as attractive as his. 
“Is that so?” He asked, amused by your answer, “may I ask who?” 
“Why do you care?” You retorted, pushing him away, touching his chest in the process, which felt rock hard against your hands. 
“If you wanted to touch me you could have just said so, princess,” he went on, his usual smirk gracing his face. 
However, all your confidence went downhill as the thunderstorms took over again, more powerful and louder than before, causing you to shut your eyes and ears as your face scrunched up in fear. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jay asked, getting on bed and grabbing your face with his big hands.
“Thunder, I—I hate it,” you let out, holding onto a pillow and whimpering into it. 
Jay panicked seeing you this way, he was quick to wrap a blanket around your body, getting his EarPods out and putting on a calming tune before he put them on for you, hugging you without any words. 
“It’ll be okay,” he whispered loud enough for you to hear and you wrapped your arms around him tighter. 
It was comforting how his one hand patted your back while the other caressed your head softly, providing everything he could to you with his actions. 
You could’ve sworn it wasn’t just because of thunder that your heart was beating out of your chest. 
He held you through it all, never once letting you go you fell asleep in his arms, his big eyes staring at you as he whispered to himself. 
“Sleep well, princess.” 
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You snuggled deeper into the warmth of your pillow, humming softly as you almost felt as if you were being cuddled and pulled closer, which was successful in stirring you awake. 
For the second morning in the row, you were shocked to see a very shirtless Jay with his arms wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. You took a second to stare at him, he looked idyllic, his lips automatically forming a small pout whenever he was undisturbed, which looked endearing to you. 
Just as you were about to touch him, the alarm from Jay’s phone rang, which you assumed he put on right before going to sleep as you still had to reach the resort before everyone left for the museum, which was first on the itinerary for the day. 
You closed your eyes shut in panic, pretending to be asleep as you felt his arms around you tighten, which only resulted in you feeling a shiver down your spine. 
“Hmm,” he groaned, turning towards the side table as he turned off the alarm, “fuck,” he muttered, not wanting to wake up at five in the morning. 
You felt the mattress weight shifting again, and even with your eyes closed, you could feel Jay coming closer to you. His hand was gentle when he caressed your cheek as you tried your best not to freak out at the proximity and give out that you were awake. 
Lord it felt so good. 
Now, you weren’t sure if your mind was playing tricks with you or if Jay had actually called you pretty as you slept before he got up from the bed to freshen up. 
It was when you heard the bathroom door shut when you finally opened your eyes, sitting up as your chest heaved up and down, your fingers automatically reaching out to touch your cheeks, the exact spot he had touched not even two minutes ago. You wondered how long it would take for your poor heart to finally burst out if Jay kept this up. 
A groan left your mouth when you also gathered the memory of last night, the memory where you hugged his shirtless frame. You could excuse it as you were terrified because of the thunder. Right? 
Nevertheless, you got up and tried to stretch out before Jay came out of the bathroom to see you awake, his usual smile greeted you and for the first time, you gave him a shy smile back, “good morning, Jay,” you said as you rushed into the bathroom, leaving him smiling at your cuteness. 
It didn’t take you both long to get ready and check out of the hotel before you got into Jay’s car yet again. The weather had cleared out and it was still slightly dark when he started driving again, and you noticed that the road was still wet while the trees looked greener than ever with the little droplets of water all over their leaves. 
You couldn’t help but spare glances at Jay during the entirety of the drive, the sunrise only enhanced the beauty of him as you saw sun rays falling on him as he drove. His skin shone golden and he looked like pure honey in your eyes. 
“We’re here,” he announced as he turned the car to get into the driveway for the resort parking and your mouth hung open at how grand and expensive it looked just from the outside. 
“Woah,” you whispered, looking outside and then Jay excitedly. 
It all happened in a flash, him giving his car to the valet and calling your professor as you waited in the grand lobby of the hotel, wondering if all your friends were still sleeping, considering it was early in the morning. 
Mrs. Min was quick to come out, delighted to see you both finally here, “I was so worried! I hope the journey was not too rough,” she asked with concerned eyes. 
You smiled, giving Jay just a glance, “it was really comfortable and Jay was kind enough to work everything out smoothly to get us here,” you told her softly, which caused Mrs. Min to praise Jay for being the ideal student as well as a guy. 
You noticed how his ears blushed red whenever he was praised, causing you to laugh by yourself. 
“Okay so you have one hour before everyone wakes up and gathers for breakfast at the dining area! You can rest and freshen up before it all!” She mentioned. 
“What about our rooms, ma’am?” You asked awkwardly. 
“Oh right! There’s only one room available at the given moment,” she said and you felt like you were gonna pass out if a repeat of last night happened again, “so you can take that room to yourself, Y/n! As for Jay, Yeonjun will be your roommate as he’s alone in his room as of now. You know the policy, two students in one room,” she smiled as she handed you your room card, also informing that the boys have their rooms on the third floor while the girls have theirs on the second floor. 
You smiled at her, both of you bowing down as she made her way back to her own room. You could finally breathe now that you were here, and had a room all to yourself. 
“Come, I’ll walk you to your room,” Jay said when you got into the lift together. 
“Jay, you should really rest, it’s fine,” you tried to say, holding your hand up only for him to grab it. 
“Why? Tired of me already?” He asked, pulling you closer. 
You could only pray that no one sees you in this position with him. 
“I didn’t say that,” you spoke up, jumping away from him as the elevator doors opened. 
Thankfully the corridor was empty, and you walked faster to find your room, which was the last one on the right corner down the corridor. 
You turned back, looking at your feet before you said, “thank you for everything, Jay, I really can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done—” 
He stopped you from speaking further as he gently held your chin in his fingers, “actually, I can think of a few ways you can thank me,” he whispered, eyes gleaming as you noticed little specs of golden in his chocolate brown eyes. 
“What?” You asked just as gently. 
“How about we start off by a thank you hug?” His smile morphed into a smirk as he stood with his arms open. 
You bit your smile, nodding and standing on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck in a quick hug. His scent engulfed you, which you had grown to like, and you were just as quick to leave him and make a beeline towards your room. 
Meanwhile, Jay was already used to your flustered behaviour and he caught your wrist just in time to pull you in for an actual hug, his body flushed against yours as you stilled when he rested his face on your neck, his lips brushing against your skin. 
“Don’t get tired of me,” he whispered, tickling your neck. 
You stared at him with wide eyes when he stepped back with his playful smile, “we’re just getting started, princess,” he said, leaving your heart racing as he walked away to get to his room. 
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You found yourself in Yeji and Karina’s shared room a few minutes after Jay left. Seeing as you had already showered, it didn’t take you much time to change into your outfit for the day, which consisted of a skirt and a top to go along with it. You didn’t forget to wear your necklace and a ring as you felt bare going out without any accessories. 
Back to your friends, they sat in front of you, half ready as they both stopped when they heard your story, looking at you in disbelief. 
“You’re trying to tell me that Jay, Park fucking Jongseong took care of you when you had fever?” Yeji asked, face looking comical with how she had applied lipstick only on the top corner of her lip. 
You nodded and opened your mouth to speak but Karina beat you to it. 
“And he remembers your favourite drink as well as food,” she hummed, midway straightening her hair. 
“Yes—” you started again, but no one let you continue. 
“He also held you to sleep when you cried because of the thunderstorm,” Yeji said, looking at Karina with teasing eyes. 
“And he hugged you!” Karina almost screamed. 
“Really, Y/n. What’s going on?” They asked, sitting closer to you. 
“Nothing,” you groaned, “I don’t fucking know,” you looked distressed. 
“Does it feel nice to have him around you?” Karina asked, being straightforward. 
Your mind backtracked to each incident and caused you to nod, “yeah, but what if he’s just being playful?” You whined. 
“Then flirt back! Don’t act shy, don’t stutter, but show him that you can do the same thing, and if possible then make him jealous, there’s no better way to find out if anyone’s interested in you than making them jealous and getting it out of them,” Yeji theorized with a smirk, knowing that she was right. 
“She’s right. You’re so pretty Y/n,” Karina sighed, looking at you softly, “you better make him work for you!” She warned as both the girls came to hug you. 
A genuine smile graced your face. You loved both of them dearly. Your smile grew even more when you decided to take up their advice and work upon it. 
You couldn’t wait to see Jay again. 
Breakfast was fulfilling as you sat with your friends and Taehyun, who was kind enough to share how Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Jay were still asleep, not caring about breakfast as the boys wanted nothing more than to catch up with their sleep. 
Professor Jung was another teacher who accompanied the students on the trip. “We’ll be leaving for the museum in one and a half hours, I hope that’s sufficient for everyone to get ready. No delays will be tolerated, kindly be on time,” he announced. 
You and your friends shrugged as you were already ready and had one and a half hours to spare. Your friends filled Taehyun up with the details of your journey, happily leaving out the parts which he shouldn’t be knowing. 
“Why didn’t he just call his driver?” Taehyun wondered out loud. 
“He’s got a driver?” You asked. 
“I mean, his parents have a driver, he could have asked for help,” he told you. 
You nodded in understanding, turning to head when you heard a voice calling your name. 
“Y/n, you’re here!” Jaemin spoke up, looking at your table for the first time, questioning himself as to how he did not see you here before. 
You wondered how he was always so cheerful, his smile never leaving his face. It was contagious of sorts, making you smile when you looked at him. 
Excusing yourself from your table, you stood up to talk to Jaemin, who seemed happy just to see you here. He took you to his table which was right beside yours as he introduced you to his friends, which was basically the group of all the students who joined mid semester. 
You greeted everyone with a smile as you sat down next to Jaemin, “excited for today?” He asked with a smile. 
“Yeah,” you nodded, “it feels so nice to be here, and did you see the beach adjoined to our resort? I can’t wait to explore that!” You told him, and he was quick to lean in and tell you more about it. 
Jay had just entered with Yeonjun and Beomgyu, all of them were not dressed up yet they looked tired, Jay in particular looked bothered as he sat down where you were previously sitting with his plate full of what looked like sausages. 
“What’s up with him?” Karina asked, nose scrunching. 
Yeonjun snorted, and Jay warned him, yet he didn’t care and continued to speak, “Jay slept for one hour and had a wet dream,” his voice was loud enough to reach your ears. 
Your eyes widened at the information, even more so when you heard Jay groan, meaning that the information was indeed true. 
Jaemin was tall enough to cover your frame as he turned to you, offering you the cupcake you had been eyeing. You took it from him with a smile, but your whole attention was on their conversation. 
Jay on the other hand, ignored all the comments and remarks Beomgyu made as his mind went back to the scene which landed him in this situation. 
From the deep subconscious of his mind, he dreamt about you, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone this, about how he touched your soft lips with his, about how his lips travelled the expanse of your body— 
Yeah, he couldn’t get the feeling of your body pressed up against his naked torso out of his head, and he knew it was wrong to think about it, especially when you were scared. 
He shook his head, cheeks red as he tried to calm down. It was the first time he had such a dream, but he was more curious about your whereabouts, his eyes travelling and scanning all the tables before he asked, “where's Y/n?” He acted nonchalant, eating the food in front of him. 
Yeji smirked, “some cute guy took her with him. Oh look! They’re talking,” she pointed at Jaemin, who sat down normally again, causing you to come into Jay’s line of vision. 
Jay finally made eye contact with you, and you noticed how red his face was still, making you wonder what he dreamt about. You passed him a small smile, which was enough for him to smile back at you, however this interaction was short lived when Jaemin grabbed your attention again. 
Jay knew he was the new student, however, he did not know his name, but seeing the way he was so friendly with you was enough to make him wonder how you got so close to him. His jaw clenched instinctively, furthermore when you laughed at a joke he made. 
Karina and Yeji observed the exchange silently, high fiving under the table. 
Deciding that it was enough, the two girls called you over and asked you to join them for photos at the lobby area, causing you to excuse yourself from Jaemin, who flashed you a charming smile while saying bye as Jay could only scoff at this. 
His expression quickly changed when you came over and noticed him, “good morning, Jay,” you said, standing behind his seat and leaning further, which allowed Jay to take a silent sniff of your perfume which was vanilla scented. 
“I’m taking this,” you pointed at the cookie which you picked up from his plate and took a small bite of while he simply stared at you as you made your way towards your friends as his eyes trailed down to look at your sleek little skirt which showed your legs. 
“Shit,” he cursed as he mindlessly drank the hot coffee, while his sole focus was you. 
It was going to be a tough day for him. 
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Professor Jung had called you right before all the students started filling into the three buses as he needed assistance with the roll call, making sure no student was left behind or sneaking out somewhere. 
You were more than happy to help, seeing he was the one who offered you the internship, it was only right if you’d put up your best image in front of him. 
You checked off everyone’s name as they got into their respective buses, leaving you to be the last one to get into the bus, and to your surprise, the only spot open for you was at the last seat, in between Jay and Jaemin. 
Jay spotted you and was going to shift to sit next to Jaemin but he was faster to call you with a smile. 
Which brings you here, sitting in between them both with an awkward atmosphere. 
Noticing how the girl sitting on the other side of Jay tried her best to indulge him in a conversation made you roll your eyes, when in reality, Jay didn’t even wish to look her away but he didn’t wish to be rude either.  
You turned to look at Jaemin who was more than interested to talk about how he wished to take up a barista course just because he loved coffee. Soon, the cold air in the bus made you shiver, along with the lack of attention from Jay, who was struggling and trying his best to get out of the conversation with the other girl. 
Jaemin noticed your shivering state, “Y/n, you look cold,” he spoke out loud, taking his jacket off. 
This statement grabbed Jay’s attention and he almost started to take his own jacket off, only to see that Jaemin was faster and now your legs were covered with his jacket. 
Jay would have driven you by himself if he knew this was gonna happen, but his mood wasn’t sour for long. 
“Will you sit with me during the return trip too?” Jaemin asked you and you turned to Jay. 
Your hand automatically grabbed his arm, his body soothed with the skin contact as he looked down at you, “Jay, will we be going back together? Because I think the luggage will also take up space here and it’s a long journey back to Seoul—”
“Of course, we’re going back together, love,” he spoke, cutting you midway which made Jaemin cock his eyebrow at Jay, who only smiled at you sweetly. 
“That’s great! Can we stop by and have that pasta again, it was so good,” you asked and he nodded in a beat. 
“Anything you want.” 
The conversation was short-lived as you had arrived at the museum already. Jay was quick to get up from his seat to get rid of the girl who kept talking to him, despite him not showing a single ounce of interest. 
Since the group was big, it was divided into smaller groups so that they can follow and listen to the guides assigned to each group. Your group stuck together, however, professor Jung made sure to drag Yeonjun and Beomgyu away, knowing that they’d be the ones who’d cause trouble. 
Adding to that, it had been a solid thirty minutes of you walking and Jay was nowhere to be seen which made you wonder if he ran off with the girl from earlier. You shook the feeling away as you entered the historical arena, it was full of animal specimens, displays of natural objects such as fossils, minerals, rocks, plants, and more. 
It was highly insightful, you agreed although you felt parched with all the walking. Furthermore, you had conveniently forgotten your bottle in your room. You looked back, trying to search for Jay in other groups as you mindlessly nodded to what Karina was saying about some new series though you couldn’t find him. 
“Who are you searching for?” A deep voice spoke in your ear, successfully making you flinch at the sudden invasion. 
With a hand on your chest, you turned to look at the culprit, only for it to be Jay. 
“You scared me,” you breathed out. 
“That doesn’t answer my question,” he said. 
“Doesn’t matter,” you muttered, not wanting to admit that you were searching for him. 
He clicked his tongue, “it matters when you were looking for me, princess,” he said and you panicked, looking around to see if anyone heard him, only to find out that you had a decent distance from your group. 
“And why would I look for you? It could be someone else too,” You spoke, crossing your arms. 
“You say that as if you can think of anyone else, princess,” he smirked and your mouth opened to retort. 
Although he was quicker to shove a bottle of water in your hands, “since you’re curious, I’ll tell you where I was,” he said as he walked alongside you to catch up with the group, “I went to get water as we didn’t have any with us, I also got us a bag of snacks from the store nearby and I had to and keep it in the bus. Now here I am, right where I should be.” He winked. 
You looked at him humoured, “you’re right, you really should be in a museum,” you said. 
“For being the most handsome man ever? I guess you are right,” he smirked and you gave him a look. 
It wasn’t as if he was lying. Jay had one of the most attractive faces you had ever come across, it almost looked as if he was carved by the gods themselves. All in all, you couldn’t deny it and hence, you chose to switch the topic instead.
“Isn’t it weird how people collect random things from all over the world and put it together to call it a museum?” You said out of nowhere, getting a smile out of Jay at your unpredictability. 
It surprised him to see you being so chatty around him, opening up to him more than usual, his small smile never leaving his lips as he contributed to your thoughts, feeling proud each time he made you laugh. 
You could feel the change too. Ever since you had come to Seoul two years back, you felt like you had to be timid and composed at all times, everything was new to you, but you felt at ease around Jay, and unconsciously, you turned to look at him only to find his eyes on you.
The simple exchange made you smile and your heartbeat rose for all the right reasons. 
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The next stop was the one you were actually excited for, the aquarium. 
You didn’t have to get into the bus again as the aquarium was adjoined to the museum. You hadn’t ever been to one before, it thrilled further that you’d get to experience aquatic life right in front of you. 
The blue tunnels felt soothing to your eyes, various types of fishes swimming together and you looked everywhere, not wanting to miss anything. 
Soon, your friends pulled you into clicking pictures with them, Jay being kind enough to be your photographer, when in all honesty, he did this so he could look at you longer. As amazing as the day was going for him, it was equally balanced with dismay as he saw Jaemin approaching you once again.
Does he not get tired of smiling? He wondered. 
“Oh! Can we click a picture together too?” He spoke up, causing Karina and Yeji to contain their laughter with how irritated Jay appeared to be. 
“Sure,” you spoke, smiling at the phone which Jay was holding as Jaemin stood close to you, his smile ever so radiant. 
Jay took the picture in a split second, handling his phone to Jaemin now saying, “my turn,” as he stood by you. 
You watched the whole exchange, amused at Jay’s behaviour. He was always calm, you’ve never seen him so worked up before. 
He conveniently pulled you closer, resting his hand on your waist as he smiled for the picture which Jaemin was clicking, while your cheeks heated up in this situation. 
“Done,” Jaemin sang out, making his way to you as he went on pointing at the hermit crab, telling you how they steal and switch their shells to accommodate their size as they grow up. 
However your focus was on the picture of you and Jay, it was the first picture you had clicked together and you found it adorable how he smiled at the camera while your eyes were on him instead. 
“You’re pouting,” you stated, laughing at Jay as Karina called Jaemin over, asking him to tell them the random facts instead. 
“Yeah, I don’t really like this area. Let’s go up further,” he said, taking you along with him. 
You could have sworn you never smiled this much before, he nonchalantly commented upon every fish you came across, he came closer whenever you tried to show him anything that amused you, not to mention how he stood on the opposite side of the big fish tank walls just to see you from the other end. 
Soon, the whole lot of your batchmates were swarming the tiny souvenir shop and you were busy contemplating if you should get a dolphin stuffie for your little sister, but you weren’t going to go back home anytime soon so you settled on buying a similar little keychain for her. 
That wasn’t all, you also wanted to buy a little something for Jay, but you knew he wasn’t the one to sport cute accessories. Yet, you wanted to give him this ring with a cat paw imprint on it. Without thinking much, you purchased both items and walked out with your friends. 
You were quick to pour into the bus, hoping you won’t have another awkward moment sitting with someone new but before you could think, someone grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the left side seat, which was meant for two people. 
You yelped and almost landed on Jay’s lap, “are you crazy?” You whisper-yelled at him. 
He gave you a lazy smirk as you sat down next to him, properly. 
“How’d you know, princess?” He asked and you prayed no one heard him speak yet again. 
“Well, it’s quite evident, Park,” you whispered, smiling at him sweetly. 
You held his eye contact for a few seconds before both of you burst out laughing. 
It felt pleasant as the trip was aimed at fun, and fun only. There was no burden of studies, no assignments or reports, just three days devoted to enjoyment. 
“Here,” Jay says, removing his jacket and placing it on your lap, “don’t be cold, love.”
You bit your smile yet again, “thanks, Jay. You can be sweet at times,” you joked. 
“At times?” He looked at you, incredulous. 
You laughed as he went on explaining how sweet he is at all times. 
It was safe to say that you enjoyed that bus ride. 
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Dinner went by smoothly as Yeji and Karina made you sit in between them both, complaining how you had spent more than enough time apart today. 
“I’m so excited for tomorrow, like, I really love beaches,” you said and your friends nodded. 
“Yes, babe. We know, it’s the sixth time you’d said it today,” Karina pointed out and you whined. 
“Okay but you get it,” you said. 
“Of course, we do. We can’t wait to see you in your bikini too,” they winked, leaning in to whisper, “or more like, we can’t wait to see a certain someone lose his shit after seeing you.” 
You rolled your eyes, “that’s not gonna happen,” you said. 
“We’ll see,” Yeji said, as if she knew exactly what was going to happen. 
The day was fulfilling. It was unusual for students to get a single room all to themselves but you weren’t complaining. It was midnight by the time you came out of the shower, in your sweatpants and a flimsy white camisole, all ready to sleep. 
Getting on the bed felt as if you had stepped on a cloud, making you chuckle out of happiness. You took a while to check up on your texts, telling your parents about your day and checking all the pictures you clicked throughout the day, which was majorly filled with sky pictures until you came across that photo of you and Jay. 
Your room’s doorbell rang at that very second, startling you as you jumped up to tiptoe towards the door, looking into the peephole to find none other than Jay standing in front of your room. 
You panicked, opening the door with wide eyes and ushering him in, “you really must be crazy! You’re not allowed to be on this floor, or in my room,” you said and he only looked at you with an adoring smile. 
“Shh, princess. I came here to give you something,” he said. 
Your eyes followed his hand which took out a dainty necklace from his pocket, a necklace with the smallest charm of a cat paw on it. You gasped softly, looking at him with excited eyes. 
“C’mere,” he said, making you stand in front of the full length mirror as gently brushed your hair to the side, his fingers grazed ever so slightly against your neck, causing you to shiver and you wondered why Jay was breathing so deeply too, his warm breath fanning your neck as he clasped the necklace securely at your nape. 
“All done,” he whispered as you looked at his reflection through the mirror. 
You turned around to face him, heart beating fast at your proximity as you fiddled with your fingers. 
“It’s so pretty,” you whispered out, “I—I actually have something for you too,” you spoke up, getting your backpack and taking out the ring which you got him, the ring with the same design as your necklace. 
His eyes shone with adornment as your tiny hand showed him the ring, “not gonna help me wear it?” He asked, teasing. 
You didn’t have it in you to look at him anymore as you grabbed his warm hands and gently slid the ring on his index finger, letting his hand go but he was quick to pull you in closer, “Y/n—” he said, but was interrupted with the bell ringing again. 
“Oh my god!” You ran to look at who was at your door. 
It was Yeji, you sighed in relief, “you’ve gotta go, Jay,” you told him as you opened the door. 
“What the fuck is going on here?” Yeji asked, her shocked face soon turned into one full of amusement. 
“Nothing, I just came to wish her a good night,” Jay spoke up smoothly, turning to you, “good night, princess,” he winked before walking out of the room. 
“Princess?” Yeji squealed. 
And you never heard the end of it. 
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“Are you guys sure about this?” You asked, looking at yourself in a bikini. 
“Of course, babe, you look hot,” Yeji purred, looking stunning in her own bikini, as well as Karina. 
“Men are gonna pop boners,” she commented, making you snort. 
“Well, we can’t let that happen,” you say, wrapping a sarong around your waist to cover yourself just a midge. 
The whole day was dedicated to the beach, games and mayhaps a trip towards the central shopping area. You were as excited as a four year old who got offered their favourite candy. The beach was beautiful and you could already see your classmates playing volleyball and dodgeball from a distance. 
“Beomgyu says the boys are still getting ready,” Karina said, reading the text she just got. 
“What are they even doing?” Yeji asked, “and did you actually pay Gyu to get updates about Jay for Y/n?” She asked incredulously. 
You turned to look at her, “you what?” 
“Hey! I did it so I can shove you towards Jaemin before your loverboy comes and gets jealous,” she said as if it was obvious, “y’know it’s fun to see him that way.”
You shook your head, laughing lightly at how dedicated they were with your whole ‘making Jay jealous’ agenda. It was something you didn’t even contribute to as surprisingly, Jaemin was always around. 
Which included the current scenario as you spotted a very built and shirtless Jaemin calling you his way to build sand castles. Now, that’s something you did not see coming. 
“Do you work out?” You genuinely asked him as you sat down next to him. 
The sand was warm and welcoming, just like his smile. 
Your question made him chuckle, “I do, it’s almost fun at times. You wanna touch?” He asked, flexing his biceps for you. 
Yeji watched the scene fold from afar, noticing the immaculate timing of Jay as his bold strides carried him towards the beach. He wore shorts and a floral shirt with a few buttons opened, a pair of sunglasses completed his look. 
“I would remove that if I were you,” Karina spoke up from behind him, pointing at his shirt. 
He looked at her in question when Yeji decided to pop out from his other side, “listen loverboy, look upfront,” she said, pointing at you with Jaemin, “your opponent is strong, look she’s poking his biceps—oh damn they’re big. Anyways, you have to step up,” she nodded, agreeing with herself. 
This was a site Jay was not ready to see so early in the morning, “guess you’re right,” he muttered out, jaw clenched as he swiftly removed his shirt, throwing it on the deckchair with your bags as he made his way towards you. 
Yeji watched it with a smirk, high fiving Karina as they went on to grab ice creams for them to eat. 
“Good morning, princess,” Jay spoke up, extending his hand towards you, making you turn around and look up suddenly. 
“Fuck,” you muttered, eyes on his body. 
It wasn’t the first time you saw him shirtless but now that you were in the companionship of the sun, you could see every single ab of his clearly, his muscles flexing as he moved to extend his hand, which you mindlessly grabbed and he effortlessly lifted you up, pulling you closer to him, much to Jaemin’s dismay. 
“Jay,” you whispered out, clearly out of words. 
The sunglasses were a great help to him as he took in your body for the very first time. He had never seen you in such revealing clothes before, his eyes going deeper down your neck, his heart skipping a beat as he saw you wear your necklace, to your clavicle and down to your—
He stopped, knowing that this would lead to the things he can’t speak of. 
That’s how you abandoned the poor, half-made sand castle and ran after Jay, who very conveniently grabbed your phone and ran away, just so he could take you away from the devil in disguise (read: Jaemin). 
You laughed, breathing deeply as you finally snatched your phone back from Jay, who had a smirk on his annoyingly attractive face. 
“You know you’re doing this wrong,” he spoke up. 
You raised your brow, “doing what wrong, sir?” You asked. 
Calling him sir was just so you could tease him, however you did not know how much he enjoyed hearing it from your mouth. 
“We’re at this breathtakingly beautiful beach and you still haven’t gone into the water.” He looked at the endless blue in front of him. 
“In that case,” you said, “race you to water,” you laughed, running away as he smiled, running after you. 
You shivered with how cold the water felt against your warm skin as you splashed water all over Jay, who didn’t hesitate to do the same to you. 
A gasp left your mouth when he pulled you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist just when you tried to run away, whispering right into your ear, “you can’t run for me, princess.” 
The statement was enough to evoke deep desires in you as you looked back to stare into his honey eyes, realizing how close your faces were to each other, his eyes flickering down to look at your lips. You cleared your throat, stepping back, feeling as if your body was set on fire with how warm it had gotten in the span of five seconds. 
“Let’s go and play—dodgeball?” You asked, not looking at his face. 
He chuckled, “let’s go, princess.” 
The exchange was something you couldn’t get out of your head no matter how hard you tried but playing dodgeball did help you take your mind off it, not to mention your friends soon joined you and your team won, courtesy of Jay, who couldn’t take his eyes off you. 
The time went by in a flash, it was almost time for your lunch, which was arranged beautifully just by the patio of the resort. You had showered and changed into new clothes, which included shorts and a top. 
Jay came down to sit next to you for lunch, dropping a cute shell on your lap which he found on the beach, making you smile softly as you took it in your hand, looking at Jay fondly. You were running out of patience, you just wanted to kiss him. 
“That’s so precious,” you whispered. 
“That’s why it’s yours,” Jay whispered back, placing his hand on your bare, warm thigh. 
“What are you doing?” You asked, eyes widening, yet he didn’t give you an answer, his focus solely on eating. 
“Jay,” you called him out again, only for his grip to tighten, causing you to gasp out loud as your stomach fluttered with butterflies. 
You tried to focus on eating, you really did, but your mind was elsewhere, and so, to teach him a lesson, you decided to take revenge. You stood up, smirking at him who only looked at you with a pout, an expression of betrayal on his face. 
You made sure to stay in between your girls as you went out shopping, who were more than ready to be with you, almost laughing when they saw Jay approaching you. 
“Uh no, mister. It’s our turn to spend time with her,” Karina says, making you smile. 
“Besides, the boys are waiting for you,” Yeji pointed out at Yeonjun and his friends. 
You winked at Jay, linking arms with your friends as you walked away. 
Jay groaned, “dude, where have you been?” Yeonjun asked. 
“Right? I have barely seen him around,” Beomgyu said and Jay only looked at you, pouting. 
On the other hand, you were talking about him as your friends gushed about him getting you a necklace. 
“He is so whipped, I won't be surprised if he gets you a whole diamond set at this point,” Karina said and you laughed lightly, paying for the two tops you picked up from the thrift store. 
“Now that would be costly,” Yeji said. 
“Does it matter? He’s rich, rich,” Karina said, making you and Yeji both look up at her in shock. 
“What?” You exclaimed conjointly. 
“What? You guys didn’t know that?” She asked, frowning. 
“Why does he live in a rented apartment then?” Yeji asked, eyes still wide as you tried to process this information. 
“Something in the lines of being independent, I’ve seen him at the parties though, he doesn’t seem to be too fond of his parents,” she told you.  
“Wow, I had no clue about this,” you said, worried that him being of completely different status would be a complication. 
Suddenly it all made sense, how he paid for the hotel, how he didn’t hesitate to buy anything for the group and how he was always clad in luxurious clothing. 
“Don’t worry, he’s practically whipped for you,” Karina stated and you smiled slightly, looking at a delicate necklace which looked ethereal to you. 
You were really whipped for him too. 
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“Y/n!” You heard Jay’s voice calling out your name, making you turn around with a smile. 
Everyone else was in their room already, while you had stayed back to help Professor Min with the budget calculations of the day, making you stay back for a few minutes more. Now, you stood in front of your room, Jay approaching you with a tiny paper bag in his hand, which he wordlessly handed over to you, making you look up at him in question. 
“What’s this?” You asked, opening it in front of him. 
You found a box inside the bag, which contained the very same necklace you had been staring at during your visit at the shopping centre. 
You breathed out softly, looking up at him to see his red cheeks, “you really are my stalker,” you laughed, looking at the box again, which flustered him even more. 
It was a sight to see Jay blushing, he oozed confidence, yet you knew how much of a softie he could be. 
“I wasn’t being creepy, really. I just saw you looking at it,” he explained, trying to defend himself. 
“I love it.” Your smile was so genuine, it made his heart beat faster, even more so when you stood up on your tiptoes, mustering all your courage to give him a featherlight kiss on his jaw, “thank you, love.” 
You used his own nickname on him, the expression on his face was priceless, making you want to click a picture of him, of how red his face was, “good night, Jay.” 
You winked at him, leaving him standing there, speechless. 
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If anyone dared you to stop smiling, then you would fail without question. It was intriguing how your cheeks didn’t hurt even though you had been smiling since last night, you probably even slept with a smile on your face. You and Jay quietly exchanged glances during the entirety of breakfast time. 
“Okay, what’s going on?” Karina asked, sitting next to you in the bus as it was the last day of your trip, and you were heading to the amusement park for the day. 
“What do you mean?” You asked, trying to act normal. 
“I mean, why have you been giving each other the look? And why is he staring at me? Am I not allowed to sit with you now?” She asked  
“What do you mean ‘the look’? And of course you should sit with me,” you told her, resting your head on her shoulder. 
“The look, like you’ve fucked,” she smirked. 
“God! No that’s not it,” you said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at her assumptions, “nothing happened.”
“It will happen soon, don’t you worry,” she winked at you. 
“We’re here!” Your professor announced, and you looked out of the window to see how cool it looked, the theme seemed to be ‘castles’, making it look twice as grand as it was. 
Jay simply wanted to spend his day with you, however his friends were adamant that he spends his day with them. You got your passes and entered to see happy faces all around, a chuckle leaving your mouth when you saw Yeonjun dragging Jay along with him. 
“Where do we start?” You asked with a smile. 
That was just the question to ask, your friends dragging you to bumper cars, you lost count of the number of times Yeji bumped into your car before you set off to the virtual reality rides, and later to the carousels. 
You rode the carousels twice, posing for the pictures alongside as you tried to capture the heartfelt experience where you felt like a kid all over again. Half of the day had passed by and you couldn’t lie, you missed seeing a certain someone. 
Just then, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you in the Photo Booth, your eyes widening, your first instinct was to scream, but you stopped to see that it was none other than Jay. 
“Jay?” You spoke out loud. 
“Shhh, Yeonjun is probably searching for me right now,” he spoke, almost scared as if they kept him captive. 
You looked at him, “let’s get a picture till they go away,” you said, pointing at the Photo Booth. 
He let you put cat ears on him, along with pink glasses which made him look cute, however, he did whine about it, but took pictures with you nevertheless, pulling you closer, smiling and soon, laughing with you.
After printing two sets of your pictures, you handed one over to him, grabbing his hands naturally and dragging him to get matching headbands. If any stranger would have looked at you two, they would have easily assumed you to be a couple with how you were behaving like one. 
“The sunset looks so pretty,” you whispered, looking at the sky which was a mixture of orange, yellow and red hues. 
Jay nodded, his eyes solely on you. 
The noise of Jay’s phone ringing grabbed your attention, you smiled at him, urging him to pick up the call and he excused himself for a minute. You took this time to sit down at the nearby bench, looking at the ferris wheel, which you wanted to ride with Jay. You hadn’t thought that he would become so dear to you, maybe it was because he was so caring, so selfless and sweet to you. 
He came back after a few minutes, a look of distress on his face, “hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, worried about him and only smiled at you. 
“It’s nothing, everything’s fine, princess,” he spoke up. 
“Why? Don’t wanna tell your problems to your enemy?” You teased him, getting an actual snicker out of him. 
“It’s just that—my mom, she’s not very accepting of me spending my time doing things other than studying, which also includes me being on this trip,” he said, “so she called me to remind me that I’m wasting my time,” he told you, upset about this situation. 
“Does being here make you happy?” You asked him, eyes sparkling as you looked at the sunset. 
“It makes me the happiest I’ve ever been,” he answered in a beat, deep down knowing that it wasn’t the trip, it was you who made him happy. 
“That’s it then! Forget about the negatives, don’t think about your mom, the trip is almost over. Instead, be here, live in the moment and ride the ferris wheel with me,” you beamed at him. 
It was that easy for you to make Jay smile, just like that, he extended his hand and you both made your way towards the ride, where the line was growing by second as everyone wished to see the sunset from the top, but you were quicker. 
One compartment catered two people, which suited to be perfect for you and Jay as you sat with your knees touching. It took around five minutes for everyone to settle in turn by turn and your ride was approximately seven minutes long, as written on the information board. 
You took out your phone to capture the view of the whole park, which was visible as you went higher up in the sky, “Y/n,” Jay whispered out, looking at you with intensity. 
Your breath hitched when you saw him glancing at your lips, he couldn’t hold his desire any longer, it was the perfect opportunity, the perfect spot. 
He leaned in, his hand coming to rest on your cheeks, his fingertips tracing the contours of your cheek, and you leaned into his touch, your breath hitching with anticipation as his nose brushed against yours. 
“I won’t be able to hold myself back any longer,” he whispered, lips almost brushing against yours, tentative at first. 
“Don’t then—” you whispered, but were cut off. 
With a gentle tilt of your head, Jay pulled you closer, closing the distance between you two. Your lips met in a collision of passion, warmth and longing as they tenderly explored each other. 
Time became irrelevant as he deepened the kiss, cradling your face in his hands. A loud sound of firecrackers bursting made you both stop, breathing hard as you looked out of the window, finding yourself on the top of the Ferris wheel with the onset of fireworks, which were said to be the highlight of the day at the amusement park. 
However, Jay was restless, “you look so fucking pretty,” he said as the pretty colours of the fireworks made your face shine, and without further ado, he took off his specs in a go before he connected his lips to yours again, it was gentle yet possessive, your lips tingling, your senses heightening as he sent shivers of pleasure down your spine. 
You broke the kiss to breathe, resting your forehead on his, eyes meeting each other as he said, “I think I’m falling for you,” he intertwines your fingers with his, “when you’re around, I feel alive. Our every exchange makes me want to know you more, to be around you and forget about everything that weighs me down.”
“I like you so fucking much, Jay,” you whisper, making him smile out of pleasure, “I like it as you pout when you study, or how you care about others so deeply, about how you buy the whole stack of Coca Cola or how you love eating corn—”
He kissed you swiftly, smiling into the kiss as you reached the bottom of the ferris wheel, your hearts beating in sync as you came out of the ride hand in hand. 
“Y/n! I’ve been searching for you all day!” A voice called out, making your head turn to look at a very jolly Jaemin. 
Jay could already feel his mood turning sour at his entrance, it only turned worse when Jay saw Jaemin getting close to you, his usual smile radiant as he picked up a fallen eyelash from your cheek. 
It was the same thing Jay did a few days back, his blood boiled seeing some other boy do the same for you, he couldn’t take it while you tried your best to get away from Jaemin soon by blowing on your lash, which he kept on his finger. 
You couldn’t find Jay when you opened your eyes again, when in reality, he was the only one who had wished for on your lash. Jaemin looked at you, confused as you ran away, trying to find Jay, only to get a text from him. 
My enemy:
Hot tub, tonight at 10 
That’s all it said and your lip quivered, hoping that he wasn’t upset with you because of Jaemin. 
Only time would tell. 
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It was heartbreaking enough to not see Jay on the bus with you, while you used that time to fill in your friends about what had happened, leaving out the part where Jay disappeared into nowhere, they both squealed and encouraged you to take it a step further. 
You didn’t see him at dinner either. 
Since it was the last day, everyone was up and making the most of it. You had to get to the hot tub, which was at the top floor, a private area, as you gathered by asking in the front lobby. Seeing how you had to go to the tub, you decided to wear your other bikini under your shirt and shorts.
You didn’t know what to expect. 
Opening the door to your room, you looked out to see if anyone was in the corridor before you walked out, however, you had to wait for five minutes as some girls stood outside, talking and laughing with each other. 
When you saw the clear coast, you speed-walked towards the lift, pressing the button of the top floor as you tried to keep your breathing in check. 
Kissing Jay was something that had you dazed, but his disappearance made you anxious. You bit your lip when the door opened and you walked towards the private area, which was concealed with a wall. You asked the guard about it and he asked for your name in return, opening the door when you told him so. 
Stepping in, you saw a large hot tub covered with fairy lights and dainty white curtains. More importantly, you saw Jay, shirtless, resting with his eyes closed, his head tilted back which gave you the full view of his neck and torso. 
He looked beautiful. 
You didn’t wish to disturb him so you quietly took off your clothes, leaving you in your bikini as you entered the hot tub. That caught Jay’s attention as he looked up and right into your eyes. 
Your heartbeat rose, his eyes looked darker than ever as he sat like royalty. He looked perfect even with his hair wet, your eyes particularly focusing on that one water droplet cascading down his jawline, to his neck and down his chest. 
“Jay,” you whispered, walking towards him as the water came up to your chest level. The tub was big indeed. 
He simply stared at you, eyes taking your body in as he bit his lower lip, pulling your wrist, making you lose your balance as you landed on his lap, hands pressed against his chest as you tried to maintain your balance. Your whole body warmed up, the warm water only adding to it, juxtaposing the slightly colder air, which made the curtains sway mildly. 
He only pulled you closer, his pointed nose brushing against yours before he grabbed your chin, making you look him in the eyes, “do you like it?” He asks through clenched teeth, his voice a tone deeper. 
“Like what?” You whispered, your stomach fluttering at your propinquity. 
“Making me jealous,” he almost growled out, wrapping his arm around your waist, changing the positions so your body was slightly tilted and pressed against his wet and bare torso, “Jaemin might look like it but we both fucking know he can’t give you want you want, darling,” he whispers, sending tingles down your lower abdomen. 
His hand trailed up, travelling between the valley of your breasts, “y’know I’m not the jealous type, princess,” he says, his fingers wrapping around your neck, “but what’s mine is mine.” His deep voice was enough to have your cunt throbbing. 
Suddenly, you were pulled into a deep kiss, his hand keeping you in place, his other hand grasped your waist, making you sit above his crotch. He deepened the kiss, amplifying the sensations as you whined into his mouth, driving him crazy with hunger that knew no bounds. 
“See how your body reacts to my touch,” he hummed with pride, right against your lips, your eyes closed shut with how intoxicated you felt. 
His fingers left your neck, brushing against your skin as they played with the strap of your bikini, his lips attacking your neck with needy kisses, “fuck! I’ve wanted this ever since I saw you in the bikini yesterday,” he spoke up.  
A gasp left your mouth when he squeezed your tits with his big hand, “Jay—”
“That’s right, darling. Moan out my name,” he cooed, looking at how your body was like putty in his arms. 
You looked him right in the eye, cheeks hot and water slightly moving with your movement, “want you so much,” you breathed out, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing yourself on his semi hardened cock which was still clothed. 
“Good. Cause I’m not planning to stop anymore,” he chuckled, pressing you down harder on him before he swiftly changed your positions, water making it even easier for you to move around. 
You leaned back against his broad shoulder, your back flush against his hard chest, his arm encasing your waist, “don’t stop,” you breathed in after a beat of silence. 
“Tell me who you want, doll,” he ordered, the vibrations of his chest, of his throat made your body shiver as he spoke directly into your ear, hand inching towards your lower abdomen, tracing the expanse of it as he waited for your reply. 
“You! Only you, Jay,” you trailed out, rolling his name off your tongue in perfect harmony. 
Your anticipation only grew from here as his fingers landed on your inner thigh, toying with the string of your panties which held it in place, “that’s right, only I get to do this to my doll.” 
He pulled on the string from both sides, getting rid of your panties as his fingertips brushed against your folds, making you arch your back with the pleasure seeping into you, the warm water enhanced the feel. 
It didn’t take him long to ease one of his fingers inside you, and you couldn’t contain your noises anymore as he thrusted it in and out of you, finding his pace as he added another finger to it. 
He tilted his face which rested on your shoulder to suck on your neck, licking it up as your eyes rolled back with the feeling of bliss taking over you. His fingers were big and so thick, his hard on poking at your ass made you wonder how thick his cock would be. 
“More,” you whined, chest heaving up and down as his other hand cupped your tits, massaging it and pinching your nipples. 
“Yeah? Doll wants more of me?” He grinned, his thumb applying more pressure to your clit, “tell me what you want, darling.” 
He continued fucking your pussy with his fingers, whilst leaving bruises on your neck as he marked you, possessiveness clear in his actions. 
“Want you,” you breathed out, clenching around his fingers, “in me.”
“Fuck!” He pulled you up hastily to get rid of his shorts, throwing it on the ground, out of the tub as you turned back yet again to wrap your arms around his shoulders, sitting above his hard cock as you rubbed your folds along his length. 
He pulled you in for a rough kiss, the one that left you breathless and you could only think about how hot he looked, a groan leaving his mouth as you tugged on his hair. 
You looked up at him with innocent eyes, your body all wet as you nibbled on his ear, trying to make up for him being jealous, “I belong to you,” you whispered, his tip was right on your entrance as the misty steam filled up your surroundings. 
Jay couldn’t wait anymore, he grabbed your hips to keep you in place and thrusted right up, filling you full of his cock. A loud moan escaped your lips as he began thrusting up, slow but powerful. 
“So fucking tight,” he spoke in between your lewd moans. 
His grip only got tighter as he bucked his hips up to meet yours as you pushed yourself down on his cock, which rubbed the walls of your core deliciously, reaching the deepest spots into you. 
You couldn’t stop kissing him and you were sure your lips were swollen by now. Crying out in pleasure, you panted as he leaned down to suck on your nipples, providing you the utmost pleasure. 
He admired your face, your body as you screamed out for him in the cool night air. He never thought that he’d take you in a hot tub for the very first time, but he couldn’t help his jealousy. He wanted you, he wanted all of you. 
“No one’s gonna fuck you like this, only me,” he smirked, push you down on him as you felt a fiery sensation down your abdomen and you were so close to your high, and the way Jay twitched inside you told you that he was close too. 
“I’m so—oh my god!” You moaned as he bit your neck. 
“Go on, princess,” he whispered against your skin. 
The water sloshed with your movements as your pace increased, until you felt a familiar knot in your stomach, causing you to clench around him helplessly. 
You chanted his name, your core tightened as you fell apart on his cock, reaching the state of pure ecstasy as he kissed you, biting on your lip as he filled you up with his cum. 
You both stilled, breathing in deeply before Jay looked at you with soft, sincere eyes. 
“You’re mine,” he said. 
“And you’re mine,” you smiled, kissing him softly. 
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Jay had decided to help you walk you to your room, seeing how your legs felt like jelly and to your luck, the corridor was empty. But he didn’t go back to his room, instead, he came inside your room, locking the door and helping you get into the bathroom. 
He laughed seeing how flustered you were as he didn’t leave your side for even a second, helping you clean off, his hands roaming around to touch you everywhere , which was enough to get you needy once again as he wrapped your legs around his waist and fucked you right under the shower.
You couldn’t get enough of him, and vice versa. Your heart felt full when he made you sit in front of him to dry your hair, his face devoid of anger now as he pouted with concentration. 
You leaned in and pecked him softly, the action made him blush and you wondered how he could be so intense yet so adorable in the span of an hour. 
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered, kissing your forehead and holding you close now that you were on the bed together. 
You gulped, “you’ll be here, right?” You asked him, vulnerability showing as you fiddled with your fingers. 
“I’m not leaving you, princess,” he said, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”
He took out a ring from his pocket, making your eyes water at how he truly did everything to make you happy, and yet again, he wanted to seal it as a promise. 
“I know a ring might be too much, but Y/n, I want it, I want us to happen,” he told you. 
You took his name in a whisper, looking at him with teary eyes as you wrapped your arms around him, before pulling him into a kiss, saying “yes.”
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A series of kisses all over your face successfully woke you up with a giggle as Jay caged you in his arms, rubbing his nose on your cheek, “good morning, girlfriend,” he said, kissing your hand where you wore his ring. 
You kissed his neck, “good morning, boyfriend.” 
It felt unreal as he pulled you to him, both of you smiling from ear to ear, not once trying to contain it. 
Turns out, Jay indeed had planned on driving you home with him, he was a dedicated boyfriend already as he helped you pick out your clothes, even doing your hair as you told him to. He even added a little bow to it, calling you his princess. 
You sat down in his car, not putting on the seatbelt on purpose only for Jay to shake his head, “you’re so cute,” he said, grabbing the belt but not before he kissed you and helped you buckle in. 
His hand settled on your thigh and he was so affectionate throughout your journey back, not to mention how he spent a few minutes making out with you on his lap when you stopped for lunch. 
He almost threw a tantrum, whining that he wanted to sleep with you when you reached your apartment, but you had to stop him, promising that he’ll get to do it soon. 
Yeji wasn’t surprised when you told her that you were now dating Jay, but she made sure to run across the hall, and into Jay’s apartment to give him a lecture about treating you well as you could only stand back and laugh at his earnest expression and constant nodding. 
You both were called to university the next day, Professor Jung looking at you with a small smile on his lips which made you both look at each other in question. 
“I know that the internship was meant for only one student, however,” he said, stopping for a dramatic effect, “you both got the internship!” 
You squealed, jumping up as you refrain yourself from hugging Jay on the spot as you both bowed down to thank your professor, who was beaming at his favourite students. 
He told you the details, telling you how the internship would last a whole month and you both would be working together during the summer break. 
You walked out of his office, walking with a considerable distance between you both before Jay pulled you in an empty classroom and kissed you, “told you you’d get it, baby.” 
He gave you butterflies every damn time. 
That night, he took you out for dinner and you told him everything about your life, about your parents and your town, while he told you about how his mom had called in earlier to show her distaste about Jay working at a company that’s not theirs. 
His mood was ruined, and so you sneaked into his bedroom to hold him to sleep, his eyes shining when he saw you in your fluffy shorts. 
He was falling in love with you. 
Just as you were falling in love with him. 
Your hearts were intertwined, each day felt like it was something to look forward to, his simple gestures and your shared experiences grew further, filling your life with joy and bliss. 
The next one month was something you’d describe as adventurous. It was amazing enough that Jay willingly made breakfast for you, and dressed you up as you helped him with his tie before you left for your internship, but Jay was restless even there. 
He was hardworking and everyone acknowledged you both for it, however he was one to take risks when he silently dragged you with him to the emergency staircase area. 
“Missed you so much,” he whispered, mumbling against your lips, as you let him hold you for as long as he wanted to. 
“You’re adorable, Mr. Park,” you teased, as that’s what they referred to Jay as in the office, “now let’s go before someone finds us here.”
“One more minute, princess,” he says, hiding his face in your nape. 
Jay felt more affectionate than ever, simply never wishing to let go of you. 
It was raining by the time you reached back your apartments, and you dragged Jay out in the rain, “dance with me,” you smiled and he shook his head with your cuteness. 
Nevertheless, he followed you, holding on to your waist as he started humming a tune, while both of you danced without any care in this world, soon coming closer to kiss each other. 
You wanted to freeze time, you never wanted this moment to be over. It was perfect, Jay was perfect. The world often seemed chaotic to you, it was laced with uncertainty, but in that world, Jay came and became your pillar of certainty. He gave you hope, he took care of you, which made you want to do the same, twice as much for him. 
You never wanted this to end, and you most certainly did not know what was to come. 
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It was your one month anniversary with Jay. Needless to say, he didn’t let you sleep much at night, confessing how much he adores you by showing you the same. You wanted to tell him you loved him, it was on the tip of your tongue, not knowing Jay wanted to do the very same but he saved it for tonight. He was going to take you out for dinner, he had planned it all. 
But the sudden knocking of his apartment door woke you up, knowing that it wasn’t Taehyun as he had gone back to his hometown for vacations. Jay woke up with a groan and got dressed to see who it was, not knowing that you had woken up too, following him out as you stood behind the wall, accidentally overhearing the conversation. 
“M—mom? What are you doing here?” Jay stuttered and your eyes widened as you peeked in to see a lady who’s persona screamed rich as she was clad in expensive clothes and held a cold gaze. 
“No, son. What are you doing?” She asked, emphasizing on you, “you have a girlfriend now?” She scoffed and your heart broke seeing Jay look so distressed. 
“So what? I’m doing everything you want me to do, I’m studying, I’m taking extra classes and learning about our company,” he listed out, voice broken. 
“No. The only reason I allowed you to stay here was because I thought you would study,” she sounded disappointed, “but yet you’re fooling around with a girl? A middle class girl at that!” She exclaimed and you heard Jay raise his voice for the first time. 
“Don’t fucking talk about her!” He screamed. 
Your eyes were watering. This is exactly what you had feared, that it was too good to be true. 
“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me,” his mother warned him, “you’re far too gone, Jay. Me and your father have decided to send you to America where you’ll take over the subsidiary branch as the CEO.”
You bit your wrist to not let any voice out as your tears flowed freely. Jay was leaving. He had to leave. 
“And you’re breaking up with that girl,” she said. 
“No! I love her,” Jay cried out.
You felt hollow inside, he loved you, you loved him, and yet the universe couldn’t let you be together. 
“This is just a warning, do it before I get you engaged to someone of our level. You want her to be safe, don’t you?” She asked, voice sweet as she wiped Jay’s tears. 
“Just do what I say, you’ll leave in two days, I expect to see you back at your place by tonight.” That was all Mrs. Park said before closing the door and leaving you both alone. 
“Jay?” Your voice was a mere whisper but he heard it, looking back at you with bloodshot eyes. 
“Princess,” he cried out, coming over to hug you as he freely sobbed on your shoulder, “I don’t want to go, I want you, I just want you,” he said in between his cries and you only held him tighter. 
“It’s okay—” you tried to calm him down despite not being able to breathe yourself. 
“It’s not—I hate that woman, I have never been happy before, you’re my happiness,” he said, breathing hard. 
“I love you,” you whispered. You had to let him know you did, despite everything going downhill. 
He cried out, “I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he confessed, “I’m so sorry,” he took a deep breath, “I will come back for you.” 
You hid your face, knowing that it won't be easy. 
“You’ll come to see me off at the airport, right?” He asked. 
You kissed him, “of course I will.” 
Then you both realized that you weren’t his girlfriend anymore, nor was he your boyfriend. 
You didn’t know how long you stayed in that position, in each other’s arms but you knew he had to go with how his phone was ringing with his mother’s call. 
He pulled you in a deep kiss, “I love you,” he whispered against your lips as you tasted the salty tears of you both. 
“I love you, Jay,” you said. 
And you both meant it. 
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You couldn’t eat or sleep the next day, your mind restless as you could not stop yourself from breaking down each time you thought of him, Yeji and Karina tried their best to help but you barely could speak. 
Jay was gone. 
You had gotten ready, even wearing the red scarf he loved so much to see him off, not knowing that his mom had sent him off already. 
That’s when you realized it was truly over for you both. 
His parents were rich, belonging to an entirely different world, it wasn’t something you could fight or get across. So you let your tears fall until you felt numb, your heart physically hurting. You kept his blue handkerchief with you to wipe your tears. 
You had lost him. 
You sat in his dark grey sweatshirt, missing him as you looked out at the rain falling down, reminding you of your trip, and of him dancing with you right there. University became monotonous again, you were grateful for your friends but you also swore to yourself. 
To never fall in love again. 
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People say heartbreak takes time to heal, but one can only take so much. You fell back into your old routine of going to university with your friends and coming back only to devote your whole time to studying. 
Your family was more worried than ever, as you didn’t spend much time talking to them, you hadn’t told them about Jay, now there was nothing more to tell. 
And that’s how you spent your one year, with no sign of Jay. You assumed that his parents would have kept a tab on it too. Maybe it was your reminder to not stay hung up and look forward to different opportunities of growth and renewal. Love gave you immense joy, but also brought back home the feeling of profound pain. 
You finally felt happiness again when you graduated, because you left the place filled with those memories and returned back to your home. 
“Is that a ring in your finger?” Kitty, your little sister, asked you and that’s when you realized that you never took it off. 
Until you did, putting it inside the letter you decided to write for him, sitting at your old study table. 
The one letter which won't reach Jay, ever. 
Dear Park Jongseong,
The first name that ever came to my mind when I saw you was warm prince. I was new, I was lost and you came my way, filling me up with familiar warmth, assuring me with just a smile. It was long before you started calling me your princess. Guess you were my prince from day one. 
I know exactly the day it started, it was lecture number three, room seven forty, in professor Jung’s class when we were told about the internships. Maybe it was just me who took you as a rival, while all you gathered from the situation was an opportunity to tease me, to teach me and help me through and through. 
You know I love horror movies, but if it came down to you, I’d drop it in a heartbeat just to keep you safe in my arms. I helped you once and you made it your life mission to help me undeniably. 
Tell me Jay, did your heart beat as fast as mine when you hugged me at the party? You called me pretty so easily, and I stayed up thinking about it for nights. All eyes were on you at that party, but your eyes never left mine. It seemed to me that you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. 
I didn’t know when it started but you didn’t break my walls, instead, you climbed in and helped me break it with your help. When you kissed me at the ferris wheel, it felt like destiny. It only turned into a Disney movie when fireworks graced us with their presence. I was falling in love with you already. 
Every second I spent with you felt like the best, you were the best, you always have been Jay. Maybe that’s why I can’t seem to remove this ring from my finger, because I can’t admit it’s over. 
I want us to dance in the rain again, to sneak out again. I want to see your face when I wake up the first thing in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep. 
You gave me everything, Jay. But you never told me how to live without you. You never told me it would break me to see you cry, you never told me that you’ll make me fall in love with you and then you’ll have to leave. 
Maybe one day we’ll be able to meet, maybe we’ll get to talk about ourselves. Till then, take care of yourself for me, baby. I love you, and I always will. 
Love,
The girl who was your rival. 
What you did not know was that Jay too had impulsively written a letter while missing you, which he couldn’t send. 
Dear Y/n,
To say I miss you would be an understatement, especially when all I can do is think about you. It’s been a year since I’ve seen you, not a day goes by that I wish I could come back and be with you. I still remember the day we met, the first thing that came to my mind was how you look like a princess with prettiest face. You looked lost, and it simply made me want to be your guide forever. I never saw you as a rival, deep inside, I wanted you to win everything. And you did. You won my heart. 
You helped me escape that movie, acting as if it was nothing. It meant everything to me, you were starting to mean everything to me. The very next day, you blew my mind by coming to that party. You looked heavenly. It might have been childish of me, yet I wanted your attention. So I made it my duty to tease you. 
I had never been to that convenience store before the day I saw you working there. You might be right about me being a stalker, but hey, I’m your personal stalker. I wanted to know everything about you. My heart broke when I saw you working when you were clearly sick, you really should rest more, princess. 
A little confession: I had woken up right on time for our trip, but I didn’t wake you up. It was selfish of me, I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted us to go there together, and so, I let you sleep through it all. I don’t regret it one bit. 
My favourite part of the trip was you. It warmed my heart to see you search for me, to see you smile at me, to kiss you, to touch you. I felt happier than ever with you, princess. 
I’ll work hard for you, I’ll work hard and become independent as a CEO and I’ll win your heart right back, princess. 
Till then, take care of yourself. I love you, I always will. 
Love, 
The boy who was your rival.
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© jaylaxies | tumblr
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nexusnyx · 1 year
Text
oh, to be alone with you
Joel Miller x OC!Reader [8.9k] SUMMARY: Never in his wildest thoughts did Joel think he'd end up having a life, after all. His mind had sort of stopped at thirty-six, then geared back into reality, twenty years later when he gained a second chance. Now... this seemed like a third. Joel saw the feelings in your eyes, and he took a chance, hoping to be choosing right for everybody this time.
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— A/n 📝This was a commission made by the lovely and (very patient) Grace, and I hope they enjoy the most out of everyone ;) Reblogs and comments make all the difference. — Warnings⚠️ mature content—explicit depictions of sex, so minors DNI. | 🏷️ age gap, slow burn, mentions of suicidal thoughts, angst, mutual pining, resolved sexual tension, insecure!Joel, protective!Reader, unprotected sex, dirty talking, soft!Dom!Joel, praising, edging, cum play, uhm. filth? lol. you're welcome.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤmasterlist | read on ao3
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In the three years he knew you, Joel never heard you sound like this.
"Don't you ever say that again. Don't you ever talk that kind of bullshit in my presence, Joel."
There was bass to your voice when you threatened him. Fire in your cheeks. A glint so bright and wide washing in the shore of your eyes that it clicked for him. Joel realized what he'd been ignoring for the past three years — a time he spent dancing around the dark hunger he carved in his bones for you — he saw, for the first time as clear as water, that you meant those smiles. The sweetness. The honey stick way your hand touched his skin, sometimes, and the traces it left behind.
As you defended him from his own words, Joel saw he was not only old, but also goddamn stupid.
The first thing was set in stone. The second, on the other hand, he could try to change.
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He meets her in Jacksonville, after fucking everything up with Ellie.
They had just arrived, both of them. Drenched in regret, numerous traumatizing events all muddled together, as that thick air of uncertainty surrounded their relationship. Joel thanked his brother and Maria for welcoming them back. Ellie spoke so little the first day that even Maria, someone who barely knew her, tried prying information out of her.
But it'd been quickly forgotten. One moment, Ellie and Joel were in a nameless hospital surrounded by fireflies, and a month later, they were settled into a nice house in the commune.
As if nothing had changed.
Everything had changed.
And there, in Jacksonville, there's you.
One of the only two doctors in town, the other being your very own old man.
All he remembered from the day he met you was your smile. Those beautiful cheeks painted cherry red, the wrinkles in the corner of your eyes, and how round and big they seemed to him as you said, "Hi. It's nice to meet you, Joel. 'm Grace."
You were. Joel had said something back. Ran away from there as soon as he could, but he played that smile every hour for the next three days before he caved in and came back to see you again.
Little did Joel know how much of a grace you'd become.
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You were the only person who knew about Ellie.
Being the one who tattooed her on the second week after she arrived, Joel and Ellie decided together that at least one of the only two doctors should know about her condition, and so she told you.
Whatever Joel had expected from you, your reaction was as further from it as it could be. Nonchalance, and a sad grin. A placating nod as you told him, "you can wait here, I'll examine Ellie thoroughly and then we'll get started on the tattoo; I'll call you inside then, 'kay?"
All the compliments you offered towards the design — something Ellie drew herself — made you rise in her list of favorite people, speedily.
There was also openness. Ellie looked at you as you poked the needles in her skin with calculating eyes and Joel saw in them — if eyes could touch, she'd be reaching out for you. Hands spread open and fingers clutching around nothing. Ellie wanted to trust.
It was only a few more weeks before she confided in you and then walked up to her and Joel's place to confront him.
Demanding the truth.
The truth she knew he'd kept from her since she woke up in the car, probably.
"There was no cure."
Ellie stopped trusting him.
Joel died a little bit on the inside, but... she's alive.
He'd do it all over again.
You found him sitting on the edge of the lake with a guitar on his feet and his body frozen with dread, thinking about how hard Ellie had cried.
When you asked him, "Can I sit?", Joel thought it'd be another one of those times when you two sat close to one another in perfect silence. It happened a few times during movie nights or shared dinners in the commune's barn. Joel soaked up your presence, but that time, you had more. "You know... if one day you ever wanna hear my thoughts, professional thoughts on this whole 'cure' matter, I'd be happy to share them."
Joel had looked up at you, even though that hurt. So beautiful. "'m not sure I ever wanna think about it too hard."
You nodded. Scooted a little closer to him. "That's alright too. I just wanted to — put it out there. So you know I have thoughts about it. I told her that, too, but she gave me kinda the same reply."
"Did she?"
"Yeah, Joel. She did." No one did a sad grin quite like you. The way it reached through your eyes and touched him. "You two are so... similar."
"But we ain't." Joel knew they were different. He knew what Ellie would've chosen. "I think... I wished too hard we were."
The laughter was unexpected. "Joel."
"Yeah?"
"You do realize I know what you did, right?"
If a pin dropped a thousand miles away, at that moment, Joel would hear. With a deaf right ear or not, he would. I know what you did. Was that possible? How would you know and still have been this kind to him these weeks? Still have chosen to sit by his side, to make Tommy bug him about getting his check-ups, to be sitting next to him?
You nodded at his gawking eyes and jaw-slacked mouth. "Yeah. I'm quite good at putting two and two together."
"I... Grace — what I did—" he saw flashes of it. The white noise still echoed in him. "There's no way to know that and still be able to look me in the eye. It's why she hates me now. I — I was selfish. I took away her purpose just because I'm an old fucker who didn't wanna—"
"I would've done the same." It stopped him. The words clamped his mouth shut. "I don't have any children, but I love the only parent I have, and I would've done the same for him. He would do the exact same thing for me. Don't think he wouldn't. I know he looks like the sweetest old man ever, but he'd rip apart an entire hospital to get to me too. Go ask him if you don't believe me — but believe this: If I had a child, I wouldn't let them make this 'grand sacrifice', not even if I thought it'd work. Which is not the case here."
Joel had nothing to say to all of that.
He swallowed the knot tying his vocal cords together and looked ahead, trying to process the perspective from which you saw the situation.
Sitting in silence with you brought him peace, and that day, it deterred him from the plan that was coming together — the seed of maybe if you poisoned yourself slowly over the years you could finish the job this time.
Joel asked for your father's location in the commune, then walked with you when the sun set to eat dinner.
Ellie still hated him, and she probably would continue to for a long time, but Joel no longer felt like an anchor sinking to the bottom of the ocean with no end in sight for his fall.
I would've done the same. The words pulled him back. Made him see blue once more.
Validation saved his life. Your approval became a pillar.
He'd continue to seek it for the next years to come.
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The Earth finished a whole new cycle around the Sun, and Joel started to build a life again in the meantime.
He worked patrols and went back to carpentry.
He befriended your father, who loved calling him to have dinner or smoke a pipe with him on his porch. Your father was a sweet-looking man who hid very crazy, funny, and dark bits inside of him.
"I see where she gets it from," Joel commented.
It pulled boisterous laughter from him. "Yeah, she's a feisty one."
Joel snorted. It came out in smokes. "Feisty? Ellie's feisty. I was on patrol last month when the raiders tried transpassing. I've seen your daughter use a scalpel in ways I still have fuckin' nightmares about."
More laughter was followed by, "I taught her well."
"You sure fuckin' did." Joel laughed too. Not because it was funny, but because the memory kind of terrified him. Thrilled him. He shook his head and gave the pipe back. "Was she always like that?"
"Was Ellie always like this?"
Joel chuckled. "Fair enough." Even though Ellie was now a teenager, and Joel had only known her for two years, he answered. "I think she has, yeah. A lil' badass. A lil' feisty and weird. And funny."
"God — she is funny."
"I didn't think so at first."
"She needed to work on her delivery," your father laughed like there was no tomorrow. No apocalypse. "I like seeing her and Grace together. I think she's waking up that motherly desire in her, ya know? I always wanted to see her be a mom before I give my big adios."
"If she hears ya she's gonna smack you again."
"Eh! She's always hitting folks. Her violent little heart can't stop anyone from reaching the pearly gates."
"Morice, I've heard enough stories to know you ain't seeing any pearls."
There had been silence, and then unstoppable, loud laughter from both of them.
It was the memory Joel thought about the most after he passed away.
When you came to his house with a whiskey bottle in hand and the angriest look Joel had ever seen on your stunning features, he knew without a word being said.
He sat with you in silence as you had done for him so many other times. You cried, chopped wood until your clothes were soaked in sweat, and drank with Joel until the bottle was empty.
It had been the first time you asked for something more.
When you caved into the tears late at night, Joel saw you pacing from left to right and had no clue what to do, what to offer, but you spared him of choosing. "Can I — can you hug me?"
He complied in the same second.
The request was quieter than the wind, but he could pick out your voice from a crowd.
Joel wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.
That opened up new doors — pearly gates. A year of small touches on the forearm and close proximity at every given opportunity made Joel aware of how much he craved your presence. Those little flames were nothing compared to this—a hug, and Joel's mind and body were a forest on fire.
You clung to him, rubbed your face on his chest, and refused to let go. You accepted every caress in your hair, and almost fell asleep on his shoulder.
After the hug, any excuse was a good one.
You touched him every time you saw him — even if just a little nudge on the shoulder or a finger brushing the back of his hand.
Joel started leaving tobacco and herbs on top of Morice's resting place, and continued their conversations even if he never heard the replies.
"I'll take care of 'er. Be by her side, y'know? I know she doesn't need it, but... You and her were the reason I found some happiness in here, so... It's only fair."
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Somewhere along the way, you'd convinced Joel to play on Tommy's barbecues which happened every month for some of his friends.
Music connected weird parts of him together.
The strings of his guitar were one of the only guarantees he had of making Ellie smile, for starters. When she asked for the lessons a while after stopping all communication with Joel, he had simply nodded a meek, "Yeah," too stunned to add anything else; too grateful to even dare think about it.
Your request came the very first time Joel attended one of the famous Millers Sunday, and it was the reason why Joel went from feeling like a stranger in a strange town to himself again.
Tommy clapped him on the back. You, and your smile from across the yard with the fireplace burning in between, and Joel felt almost like a person.
So he sang. Played the strings even if his joints ached around the edges, played until they no longer did and his body grew used to the motions again, played every month to come just to see the smile creep on your face and you mouthing along the lines of the songs you knew.
One day, he asked why didn't you join Ellie's lessons.
"She's gettin' real good at it." He was proud of it. Joel almost preened talking of it, matter-of-factly, missing the way your eyes softened. "You like music. You like it and miss it, which not many people do. I don't even know why I ain't never thought of it — 'm sorry about that, darlin'. Were you ever interested? In learning?"
With his eyes back on you, Joel swallowed a little thickly at how gentle your smile looked. "Joel — have you ever seen me on The Porch's dance floor? Do I look like I have any rhythm?"
"Sure you do."
Your laughter. "No, I don't!" You slapped his arm, hiding your laughter in your arms afterward, and Joel was used to it. Being hit, being poked, being used as a pillow. "Stop lying to me."
"I ain't lyin'." He was. It made him smile to see you laugh that hard.
"You're full of shit, that's what you are."
"Is that your medical diagnosis?"
The giggles that were subduing came back, and Joel knew the second glass of wine had caught up to your head. "You've been spending too much time with Miss Williams."
That made him laugh. Joel did so with his head thrown back because not even three days ago he had a screaming 16-year-old screaming at him about 'manipulation of the goddamn perspective' and if that wasn't your lingo through and through. "That's rich! Oh, that's rich as fuck comin' from you."
"How so?!"
"I reckon Ellie Missy Williams's been doin' just fine with your tutoring. Don't think I've missed you and her gigglin' in the room every now and then."
You roll your eyes, smiling so wide that your tinted cheeks look carved into stone. "Fine. I'm a terrible influence. Her attitude got nothing to do with her grumpy ass 'father-figure' who taught her how to be a goddamn menace to society."
"I can hear the air quotes even when you don't them with your finger, darlin'," Joel accused, trying to suppress his smile and school his face into a threatening, menacing look.
He's hit with the memory of when you first mocked him for it.
"Don't call me her father. I ain't her father."
"Good fucking gods, you two are so difficult! Fine. As her "father figure", you need to say something. Is that better, Joel? Did the semantics change help you?"
Now, you have the same side smirk.
"You didn't say I was wrong." Your voice dropped to a whisper.
It pulled his body closer. Like gravity was in your sound waves. "I didn't."
You rested your chin on your hand. "So... we're both a bad influence."
"Seems that way," he found himself whispering too. Joel kept his eyes on your cheeks. On your lashes and your eyes, even if they pierced through him.
"Considering she's in perfect health, handles herself just fine, and is trying her best to keep the good people of this town safe... I think that's not a bad job. The whole picture, y'know?"
Joel nods and his lips tug in a smile — not because of your sweet spoken words, but because it's funny to see it. Your mind switching to seriousness so fast.
"I do love music, though," you pout, looking up at him. He recalls how the bickering started this time around, and chuckles at your late confession. "I like watching you guys better than any idea of me playing. Or singing." With a full-body shudder, you add. "That is not where my talents lie."
"Could be," he insisted, just for the sake of that—
—your smile. "Not even you have that patience, Miller."
Miller. He had to look away every time you spoke it that way. "You're right. The brat burned away the last savings I had of that."
He heard you chuckling, and then he felt it. The nuzzling of your nose on his shoulder. "Nah. You were trying to sweet talk her just last week."
"She needs a new horse," he argued with thin air over the memory you bring up. He also scoots closer to the couch so you can rest your head on him when you're done with your cat-like behavior and end up with your whole face pressed on his shoulders, your breath tingling his neck. "And you could help me with convincing her, couldn't ya?"
"I'm not gonna meddle in your Miller-Williams business," you scoffed as if the mere thought was ridiculous.
As if these two years and a half hadn't been about you and him and her and everything orbiting around that.
Joel scoffed back. "Darlin', if you think you ain't mingled in our business, I'm gonna have to be the bearer of bad news here..."
"More tangled."
"It's just a horse, Grace."
"She lost her first pet, a horse, in a traumatic even, Joel."
Fuck him, he loved doing this with you. He sipped the last remnants of alcohol from his glass hoping it'd dull the smell of your hair invading his senses. Or maybe he liked when it amplified it. Who knew. Who gave a fuck. "Fine."
"Fine."
"She can keep usin' the stables' horses every time we gotta go out." Joel was never above playing dirty. Certainly not with you. "The ones Rick tames. The ones that sense how volatile, strong, angry she can be..."
The way you tensed was twice more obvious with your whole body pressed on his side. "God, I fucking hate you sometimes."
Joel laughed at the empty curse. "'m just sayin'."
"You know exactly what you're doing."
"Do I?"
"You do and it's annoying and fine." You sighed deeply. "I'll get into yet another awkward, intense conversation with the volatile teenager about the importance of facing traumas. It'll go great."
"Better you who knows what the fuck you're talkin' about than me."
"She just stopped giving me the cold shoulder." It's a whine. You're whining at Joel about his daughter who still lives in a constant fluctuation between loveshatesloveshates with him was giving you the cold shoulder.
"It takes her two weeks to get over her lil' fights with you."
"Hmm." It was nice when you gave in. There were few times Joel could get through your stubbornness — something you and Ellie had engraved in your souls — and it felt like a win every time. "I'll talk to her."
Joel's hand moved on its own accord. From his lap to your hair, resting slowly on your head.
He squeezed a few times, and felt you nudging towards the touch. Leaning into it.
"Thanks, darlin'."
There was a heartbeat before you answered.
"'Course, Joel."
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While the looks were easy to ignore, the whispers were not.
Words carried by the wind clung to his skin like the very smell of sweat after some years of running non-stop.
They spoke about him.
About Ellie.
You.
All three, mushed together, sometimes all in one go, sometimes two by two, but always you three.
Joel knew what they thought of him and you — of your time spent together.
They thought of him as inappropriate. You had always been the 'dark sheep' of the commune. The reason why people sometimes still remembered how grim and ugly it was out there. They spoke of you as ruthless, frowned upon your methods, but Joel smell their bullshit and saw beyond their condescension.
It was easy to speak with their bellies full.
With their houses safe. God, it boiled his blood to even think about it — these people sometimes slept with their doors opened because the security around the wooden gates was so great and efficient, but failed to remember or willingly forgot that all triage was created by your now deceased father and you.
It was your 'ruthless methods' that kept the creeps away.
Who screened people who seemed otherwise harmless but sought to do sordid, unspeakable things inside safe havens they'd have no problem burning to the ground.
Sure, he'd cleaned his way through a hospital to stop the murder of one single child, but at least Joel had a head on his shoulders.
Some people out there lacked even that.
As much as he wished for judgment to come only from the strangers he grew to know as neighbors and comrades — something you, personally, loved teasing him and Tommy of being — but of close people.
Maria, he could handle it. It was when Tommy spoke up that it stung.
"Don't you think it's... weird? Hangin' out with her so much? I mean—I heard from Dieter that he wanted to ask her out, but somehow when he goes to ask she's always talkin' to you." Tommy looked like he meant well with it. Those eyes never lied to him, and Joel saw the concern there. "I just don't want you to feel left out or abandoned in case she does start seein' someone, that's all."
That's all.
As if he hadn't opened a dent in Joel's mind.
A 'in case she does start seein' someone' sized dent.
It was the only time Joel gave a damn about words being spoken of him—or to him, he should say, considering it was meant as advice.
It was the first and last time.
In three years Joel never thought of you or anything he felt as inappropriate. Maybe he even should.
There were certainly dreams.
Desire was there, too. Alive and burning. Tall and solid, with the fires high enough for it to be a volcano.
But he swallowed it down.
He knew you were not for him.
He knew you were too bright. Knew he had nothing to offer but his company, some music every now and then, and everything inside of him, if you asked.
Still—he never did anything.
Even in the times when it felt like the bickering and teasing might be called flirting. In the times when you bit your lip after staring at him a heartbeat or two too long, or when you made his chest, shoulders, his neck your personal comforter, making yourself at home.
He bit his tongue during those times.
Told himself there was such a thing as projecting, and that just because you knew him, knew all of him, it didn't mean your kindness and acceptance equaled all that he felt for you.
All of the fuckin' ocean of things he so painfully, obviously felt for you.
Listening to Tommy worked until it didn't.
Until you showed up at his doorstep late at night, pissed off and fuming.
"Where the fuck were you?" Without even waiting for a reply, you stepped inside the house, pushing past him. "And speaking of being places, where have you been? 'Cause blowing me off only works the first four or five times. I know where you live, and in case it wasn't crystal clear to you, I know when you're lying to me."
So you pretended to believe his shitty lies. Joel closed the door with a sigh and wondered if Ellie was already listening from upstairs.
He imagined telling you to lower your voice was a certain ticket to meeting your father earlier than his due time.
"I'm sorry."
"That doesn't answer where you've been." Your arms crossed over your chest. "Y'know, it's called Miller Sunday and ever since you moved here, that means two for one. Tell me why I endured Maria's friends the whole fucking night, hm?"
"Uh — 'cause they like you?"
"Joel."
"I know, I know." He chuckled under his breath, raising both hands up in surrender. "My bad." He nodded towards the kitchen trying to work out how to knit an excuse on the spot, and then remembered—I know when you're lying to me. "I've been... stuck in my head."
There was a pause. "Oh. Ew." That made him laugh again. "Well, alright. That happens sometimes. Care to share why you're acting as if isolation's gonna help with that?"
"Damn, I don't know, woman. 'Cause I'm old and stupid? 'Cause I listen to Tommy every now and then even though that's a shitty idea sometimes?"
"Don't call yourself stupid in my presence, it's fucking offensive." The damn heat behind your words almost made him work up a sweat. "What does Tommy have to do with this?"
"Nothin'." Joel hid his face while opening the fridge, but he knew your silence well. He picked up the water jug, and placed it on the counter behind him.
"Miller, look at me."
Goddamn it.
He turned around slowly.
You were looking right through him. Searching all over his face for something you found within two seconds.
Then, you stepped closer until you were only a few inches away, looking up at him with enough certainty in your gaze to make him feel smaller despite the inches he had on you.
"I know damn well who I wanna spend my fucking time with." It was like a caress to the face. Joel felt it like your fingertips, which had traced the lines in his eyes and face until he fell asleep a few times by now. "Never insult me again by thinking you, or Tommy, or anyone for that matter can know that better than me."
An adult. Who knows who she is. Who's walked her path.
It went unsaid.
Joel nodded along since there was nothing to do but agree.
"If you don't wanna spend time with me for you own reasons, then... so be it. Tell me about them, or don't, but—never do this again. Your brother's known me for a little longer than you, but he doesn't know me as well as you do. I expected this from Tommy."
But not from him.
"It ain't gonna happen again." Joel said it and you both could hear how he meant it.
Slowly, a smile crept on your face. "Good."
"You're smiling?" he asked, dumbfounded.
The smile widened. "I'm... a little happy right now."
"Because... I ain't gonna be a stu—sorry, a silly little old man any more?"
There was a giggle you tried suppressing and failed at. "No."
"'Cause you're gonna use this against me for the next fortnight to get me to do whatever you want even though I'm nearly a sixty-year-old man?"
A roll of your eyes put a smile on his face as well. "You're more in shape at sixty than a lot of our twenty-year-olds here and that act doesn't work with me, darling. No—I'm happy 'cause I'm surprised. It works on you too."
"What works on me?"
"My mean glance." The answer took him by surprise, and yet, all you seemed was even more gleeful at his wide-eyed expression. "Didn't know I could scare Joel Miller."
"You're gigglin' 'cause you just found out I'm scared of ya?"
"Exactly."
"Darlin' I thought you saw me as a smart one. Who in their right mind ain't scared of you?"
"Damn right." You slapped his shoulder, and it seemed to ease some of the tension he carried these days he tried creating distance between you both. "Now — since we established the rights and wrongs. You wanna hear all the gossip about today?"
Joel had picked up the jug of water, but he could switch to the cans of beer.
"Lay it on me."
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The thing is — never in his wildest thoughts did Joel think he'd end up having a life, after all.
Who was he to be one of the few lucky bastards who got one at the end of everything? What had he done to ever dare dream he deserved it?
Peace, a good life, building things again... that was reserved for the good ones.
Joel was not one of the good ones.
His mind had sort of stopped at thirty-six, then geared back into reality, twenty years later when he gained a second chance.
All the things he did in between those instances counted for a whole lot.
It's why he ignored it until he couldn't anymore.
That was why Joel saw only his own feelings screaming and reaching so loud, grasping like grabby fingers towards you, and blinded himself to the way all those gazes you sent back were you giving him a white flag.
Joel saw what he had the heart and mind to handle at the moment, he liked to think.
Now... this seemed like a third.
This seemed like a confession.
And it all had happened so fast.
One minute, Joel was saying goodnight to Ellie. She was leaving to go to her friend Dina's house, and you were there with your glass of wine in hand while your other browsed through the new books he picked up at the library lying on his shelves.
He had been talking about Martha — to him, it was a funny story he wanted to get out of his system since it happened, and the one and only person he wanted to tell it to was you.
He was even laughing as he started it, but his rhythm faltered when he first caught the look on your face. It made him lose his train of thought. It fucking blindsided him.
Was it jealousy?
He stuttered. It was ridiculous to him — talking about the nice woman who worked at the restaurant who flustered herself trying to talk to Joel. Flirt with him.
He'd never seen that look on your face.
Could it be—no. It had to be something else. "...told her that she isn't actually, uhm... biological. What's wrong? Did I say something wrong? Was I shit-talking myself again and didn't notice?"
If there was a thing that put a frown on your face, it was when he did that.
"No." Joel became alert out of nowhere because this tone was absent from his mental register of all your different voice tones.
"Oh. I thought I did." He laughed, albeit awkwardly. "I just—I thought it was funny, that's all. Didn't even think it was possible for someone to blush still 'cause of old me. It was funny, couldn't believe why she was so flustered.
"Why not? That wasn't the reason for my face but now it fucking is." How could Joel ever demand that Ellie cursed less when this was his household? He pinned that one for later. "You're a handsome guy. Intimidating. Don't laugh at her because you give off those... vibes."
Handsome? Intimidating? Joel's mind started reeling, and so he laughed. "Vibes? What fuckin' vibes? I'm old, Grace. What does she got to be intimidated about other than the side of me she doesn't even fuckin' know?"
"I don't know!" your voice rose to match his own, and that's when Joel noticed how his pitch rose as he argued with you. Bickering or fighting, you two could end up at each other's throats within a second, and then be hugging in the next. "Maybe because she sees you from an outsider's lens? Maybe she sees what you can't since you're so busy always thinking about everything you do wrong and lose the ability to look past that?"
"All I do is get shit wrong! You better than anyone knows that." God, was he happy Ellie had left. Joel sighed, rubbed his palms all over his face and tried breathing deep to steady his voice. "I've got nothin' to offer anyone and I don't even know how we got here from a funny lil' story I was—"
That's when it happens.
You interrupt him.
Deadly, direct, and loud, you cut over his words.
"Don't you ever say that again. Don't you ever talk that kind of bullshit in my presence, Joel."
"Why not?! It's the truth."
"No, it fucking isn't! It's the cruel part of you that judges you based only on the wrongdoing and paints it as your whole personality and I'm not gonna fucking have it! It's not the truth. It's not! Not to me." When you stopped, the whole house seemed to follow suit and quiet down with you. Then—"You don't accept me seeing only the worst in me. Why would I let you do the same? I won't."
There was bass to your voice when you threatened him.
Fire in your cheeks. A glint so bright and wide washing in the shore of your eyes that it clicked for him.
Joel realized what he'd been ignoring for the past three years — a time he spent dancing around the dark hunger he carved in his bones for you — he saw, for the first time as clear as water, that you meant those smiles. The sweetness. The honey stick way your hand touched his skin, sometimes, and the traces it left behind.
It silenced him immediately.
As you defended him from his own words, Joel saw he was not only old, but also goddamn stupid.
The silence must have stretched for too long because as it becomes a physical blanket draping over both of your shoulders, your posture changes.
Becomes erratic.
Looking from side to side, you sigh. "Y'know what? I should go. We're both hot-headed idiots and I don't wanna—"
"Sit down."
For the first time ever, you obeyed him.
It took you a second—you froze at the command but stopped your movements to remove your jacket from the chair's back and sat back down in slow movements, your eyes lingering on his all the time.
Was it real?
"Gimme a second here." Joel needed more than that. Goddamn it—Joel would need the rest of his life to accommodate to this feeling. Thing bubble of pure, raw energy swirling inside of him and growing each second, all because— "You were."
You were jealous. Of him.
Your eyes never looked so vulnerable. So earnest, and terrified. "Of course I was." It comes out like you silly old man.
Joel tries to work his vocal cords. They might've been knitted together. "Why?"
Instead of raging over him again, this time, your gaze sees the real question he's asking.
Joel never believed in an air you could touch until he stood in this very room.
He can taste the back of his tongue. He sees your frown softening, disappearing.
"Because you care, Joel." The simpler answer. He waits, because he sees in your steady, careful breathing that there's more you want to say. This tone he recognizes. This is 'I'm collecting myself bit by bit' Grace, and he waits, as always. "Because... you either lost your eyesight or just blinded yourself to... you." It's nighttime and the only light in the kitchen comes from his yellowish bulb, but it's enough to see the tint on your cheeks. "Because you're—this package. Of everything real. Everything resilient, and clever, and... Miller. Fuckin' — southern charm. Stupid fuckin' smile."
It amps. It darkens. Your cheeks, your eyes. And once you seem, it seems a crack is opened in your dam, and the inevitable water comes to fall.
"I dreamt about it before." Joel is stuck in place, listening to you. "Your smile. The way you laugh, too. And — you do this thing, where you're a complete delight to people you care about. That's what Ellie means when she says you make it so hard to stay away from you, just so you know."
"You two talk about me?" it comes out choked.
You nod. "'Course we fuckin' do."
"Goddamn it."
"Yeah." Your laughter sounds as breathless as he feels. "Because of that. And more."
He nods back, thinking — okay.
Okay.
Joel might take a lifetime to feel worthy of your feelings, but if he has them — "I didn't think I stood any chance."
The confession lays on the table for a moment and when you pick it up, Joel can see it — your eyes widen, surprise evident on your face.
"You really didn't know," you whisper.
He blinks away the sudden sting and glint in his eyes, laughing at himself. "I really didn't know." He registers you knew about your own feelings, but you have no idea of his. It registers that you both have been suffering in silence, overshadowed by the brightness of your own feelings to see beyond them. "I don't think I could've handled it if I knew it before," he confesses.
"Wow." You sigh deeply, sucking all the air you can into your lungs. "I can't believe I owe that little shit fifty bucks. I don't even have money."
"You bet on this?"
The look you throw him is enough of an answer.
Then, another question pops up — and yeah. That's why the air is palpable. It's like walking through a spider's nest.
The threads might be thinner than hair, but the feeling sticks out. It sticks with you. If Joel's had a chance all this time, if all your feelings were kept safely tucked i
He only has one question to make. "Is it too late?"
Your eyes snap back to him. "Too late for what?"
"To make a move." Joel might've been an idiot, but he's keen on fixing it. "Because — in case it wasn't clear, my thoughts are all yours." From the look on your face, it was not something you knew. The glint in your eyes tells him it might be something you hoped for or dreamed about, but it's his words that set it into stone. "My time's yours. I ain't as good as you with words, but... all I ever wanna be is alone with you. You said it yourself last month. 'm the happiest when I'm with you and El. Now... you know why."
For someone who knew him so little, you always seemed to know what kept Joel tethered to the moment.
As you listened to his words, your eyes shined, reflecting the light. Joel wanted to say more things, but he decided to keep them for later. A moment when there was less of his soul seeming to pour out through his pores.
You get up from your chair, and in two steps, you're standing in front of him.
Turning sideways, you sit on his lap.
Joel feels his hands shake as they come to rest on your hips, and yours come up to his face.
There's nothing left for you to say, or ask. Joel closes his eyes in surrender. Opening his mouth was a leap — perhaps the height was what created that bubble; that huge thing inside of him that only expanded the closer you got.
Joel never felt this before.
He knew those were your lips pressing against his. Knew it was your hair tickling his face and your fingers threading through his thick hair, but he felt submerged.
Not drowning — just deep, way deep in water.
You pulled back after a second. The kiss was so soft, and yet, Joel felt you like an ocean wave.
He opened his eyes to the sight of you licking your lips, and that snapped him; something in your tongue reached deep within him, going further than he thought possible, and ignited another something in him.
Desire.
Not the need for release, or momentary rushes, but—
the real deal.
One of Joel's hands came up abruptly, taking hold of your neck, and he breathed in a slow breath before closing the gap between your lips again.
This time, he invited himself in.
Joel licked your lips open. He pulled you closer until you were pressed against his chest, and kissed you for all the years he lacked the will to kiss someone.
It was a feast.
The more he gave, the more you took. The sounds that started to come out of you only made Joel hungrier, and the more he heard it, the more he craved it.
He could already see the cycle of addiction forming in his brain.
Your tongue swirled with his slowly, in a lazy, filthy kiss. With his hands making a mess of your hair or grabbing you by the neck and chin, he guided your face to where he wanted.
When a particular breathy whine was pulled out of you, Joel's fingers tightened around you. The kiss became desperate, needy, a pouring of bottled emotions.
A joined deep dive, where no oxygen was needed.
Fuck—Joel needed to breathe. He pulled back because his lungs screamed that at him, and he laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of that. His heart was beating as fast as it could, and his ears were ringing, he thought, and you were resting your forehead on his with your puffs of breath tickling his face.
He could feel you smiling with how close you stayed to his lips.
Joel really was alive, no matter how hard he fought it.
And now, somehow, he was here.
"What?" you whispered. Breathless.
That, he wanted to answer. Joel panted, and noticed you were breathing heavily too.
"'m never been in such a hurry my whole damn life." Joel pulled you back by the nape for one more kiss just to show you he meant it, and you moaned on his lips.
It occurred to him that might die by your hands, metaphorical or not.
You were in him.
"You." His time was yours, and so were his thoughts, and now, Joel thought he was, too. In a way. "Sittin' here on my lap, like it's nothin'."
"It's everything."
"Goddamn it, woman—"are you trying to kill me, he wants to say.
It gets buried in your lips.
Joel wants to devour you right there on the table. It's a place for eating, and he'd butter you up only to eat you piece by piece until half of his face was drenched.
At the same time, Joel's hands were shaking.
He kissed you so deep, and yet so slow because he wants this forever.
He couldn't keep everything inside him. Joel knew all he could do for now was kiss you because anything more might pull him apart by the seams.
When you start kissing his neck, his eyes snap open, and he forces himself to capture your attention. "Darlin'." It comes out raspy and low, pulling another precious sound from you. Joel exhales shakily. "Grace, hey."
That gets you. Your face comes back in his field of vision, and he's distracted by the reality facing him.
Red cheeks and lips, which are also puffy. Swollen.
He did that.
The glazy glint in your eyes and the wildness of your hair.
He did that, too.
"What?" you ask. Breathless voice — all him.
It hits him right there—the new stream making connections in the depths of his mind. Mine. A river of mineminemine.
"I hate to break this short, but — El's comin' back soon, I think."
"Oh!" You nod to yourself. "Right. And — you wanna wait? To tell her, and stuff?"
Joel laughs. He leans his head to kiss those pretty, puffy lips. He murmurs the answer right against them. "Nah. 'm gossiping to her as soon as she's through that door and 'm gettin' my money share of that bet you mentioned." Your gasp makes the smile stay on his face. "Yeahhh. But — I'm takin' you on a date tomorrow. Old school style. I'll plan it and everythin'. I know you well enough to not mess this up, I think."
He's messed up enough in his life. Maybe the universe could grant him after trying so damn hard to repair all the things he'd broken; a chance.
"I'll be ready, Miller."
He kisses you again. "Good. I'll pick you up at sundow."
"Is this you kicking me out of your house?"
He rolls his eyes at the sarcastic question and kisses the cocky grin off your face because he now can. He kisses it away real good, until his own toes are squirming in his boots and Joel can categorize the strength you like to have your hair being pulled by, how much you enjoy the nibbles he's unable to keep from stealing of your lips, and he's mapped the outlines of your upper body.
When he needs the stupid oxygen again, Joel pulls back but stays close.
"You're gonna help me make dinner?" he asks, low and sweet.
You hum. "Yeah."
"Thank you." Thank you, he kisses the thought on your lips. Thank you so much. "'m gonna be doin' this a lot now that I know I can."
"Oh, you're gonna kill me."
Joel's smirk comes back. "Y'know what? I was thinkin' the same thing."
Dinner is made with music playing on the radio for the first time in a while. Joel almost pinches himself when Ellie gets home with a, "Woah, what the fuck?! It smells amazing in here."
It hurts, how good it feels.
Joel never thought that feeling would come back.
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According to Ellie Williams, Joel becomes "unbearable, really," and he would take offense to it had she not followed it with, "but... it's nice to see this side of you. And — I like her. I love Grace, actually. You know that. She's given me a lot to think about. Plus—she makes you reeeeal talkative, and we had a nice talk last night. Good on you."
Good on you.
Joel smiles for the rest of the day.
Tommy takes a total of one day and one scolding from you — which Joel fucking misses because of a shift of all things, and honestly, he'll never stop asking for your story of that day — and there's that.
Millers Sunday has a couple of tense first tries, but after a couple of months, people get used to the shift.
It's not that different from before.
You two were already seen side by side more often than not. Now, the difference was that Joel's arm could be found around your chair sometimes, or your hand rested on his neck, or you two shared a little wink.
A little flirtatious remark.
Ellie 'hated' it. "It's gross. You two are gross."
She said it laughing, though. Joel smiled every time he heard it.
They grew used to it, and Joel thanked the power of the peace you brought him, because anything they disliked about it became white noise to him.
All his insecurities were abandoned on the first date night he has with you.
Joel gets the house all for himself.
He plans the hours carefully because he meant what he said. He picks you up at sunset and takes you for a walk on the lake to enjoy the night sight and weather while it lasts. After, he takes you home to eat dinner, then pulls out one of your favorite board games to entertain the night and give both the time to work through the wine.
He liked to see your glee winning.
Joel was shitty at most of these, but it was worth the frustration of being a sore loser in your hands.
You soothed his bickering protests by crawling to him.
Not sliding, or scooting over — you crawled like a cat, and stole all his focus in one movement.
Joel did to you what he meant to do on that table.
First, right there on the floor.
Even though he wished you two went to the bedroom, it was impossible to untangle from under you when you kissed him until you two were panting for each other again. All that energy sizzling in your veins, pumping with dreams and wine, and Joel just thought fuck it.
There was a fluffy carpet and the duvet he'd spread so you two could sit with the game and play comfortably, and that's all he needed.
He had you on your back with your legs wrapped around his neck, lying with his stomach on the floor. Kneading the pad of his thumbs on the inside of your legs. Kissing all the parts of you he imagined. Joel stripped you from your clothes, and kept his eyes fixed on you as he searched for the right ways to unwind you.
He opened you up with his tongue, slowly, and deliberately.
Nothing was enough when it came to you.
Joel accepted right there — legs locked on his shoulders and your feet digging heels in his back —, right then — his tongue thrusting in and out of you until his jaw ached —, that he was fine knowing it'd be an endless search.
Seeking his fill of you.
He eats up the way your lips loosen when his hands are on you. "Joel, why d'you have clothes on? Take 'em off, take it off." He appreciated how you lost your eloquence. How eager you were for him.
"It's ok, 'm here, darlin."
"I know, want it closer." He loved how you took it. What you wanted from him, you just took it, and he prayed it would always be that way. "Want you in me," you whisper on his lips.
That's when he finds the strength to get up. He picks you up and resists the urge to throw you over his shoulder, taking you to the bedroom with all of his clothes still on and yours abandoned in various places of the living room.
Time sort of... folds, with you and a bedroom.
Joel finds that out on night one, and it keeps on being true.
The way all your walls are down there drives him towards insanity, and later, you peppering kisses all over the skin closest to you, the skin your mouth can find, it brings him back.
Joel gets undressed slowly. "Get on the bed." He falters a little when you obey him again, and it clicks for him. Joel exhales, throwing his shirt off somewhere. "Touch yourself while I do this."
Your eyes widen for a second, but again...
You smile first. Then, slowly, your knees pull apart and your hand reaches between your legs, where your pussy opens up in a glistening sight, and Joel has only the mind to finish his task.
It's hard not to worship something that makes his mouth water.
He does that until you're shaking, legs trembling on his shoulders and begging for him to come up—"get here, please."
It's the 'please' that gets him.
Joel goes in seek of more of them. Always more of them.
He discovers you like it when he alternates between extremes. Really slow, or a hard, or a fast, or a deep pace. Joel spends as long as he can take testing all the ways you wrapped around him can feel like and all the angles that make your jaw fall slack open.
Something about fucking you face to face, though — Joel gets to see the scrunch of your nose and your eyes rolling back when he praises you for doing so, so well. "Taking me so well. Look at that — look at it, baby, c'mon." The loud and unabashed moan you let out makes him roll his eyes, thrusting deep into you. "Keep on looking."
"Joel."
"Hmhm. What — is it — hm, baby?"
"'m gonna cum again," you whine, getting louder, and he gets more desperate. "Oh, god," you cry out.
"'s fine. That's what — I want. Give it to me"
"It's so good. Please—harder, Joel. Like you want to fuck me."
You enjoy doing it to him, Joel thinks. Breaking him so you can put it back together, or maybe it's just how you make him whine that gets to your head.
It gets louder — everything gets louder. The sounds, the bubble of feelings reading to burst and be reborn again, only bigger, how fucking wet you get for me.
"C'mon, darlin'. Wanna feel you soakin' me with your cum."
Joel sees why you enjoy it, too.
He smiles, and ascends at seeing the sweet feelings of release washing you from head to toe, and the transcendent look in your eyes when you open them and pull him down for a kiss. You came so hard he lost himself in your orgasm, mixing with his own and he cums a little more at the realization, burying himself deeper in the mess you two have made.
Your whining and panting in can only be felt, so he switches your face to his left side. "Deaf, baby."
You giggle at him. "I didn't say anything."
"I know. Just wanna hear your lil' noises." Joel kisses your neck, and pulls out slowly despite your whiny protests. His fingers come down to between your legs and he should feel self-conscious about the filthy mess he makes there, but when he looks up at your face you're watching him with a look he knows.
I'm starving for you.
Joel seals his lips on yours.
He's never leaving this place. This home he's built where he gets you, and a second chance, and the monthly Sundays with music and you by his side whispering indecent jokes in his ears, and the protective circle you create around him and Ellie ate any minor possibility of outsiders.
Joel's not missing this chance for anything.
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🏷 @sakuralikestars — @mostardentily — @thegreat-annamaria — @leiticia — @polyglot-noodle — @casssiopeia — @levylovegood — @simply-sams-things — @lavenderhhze — @gracie7209 — @waywardwolfbonklight — @shadytalething — @yesimwriting — @celestialstar111 — @averysblog — @pedrostories — @fleursirvart — @sirtommyholland — @capbrie — @hawsx3 — @superflymaterial — @ashleyforeverareject — @girlofchaos — @queerponcho — @am-3-thyst — @nyotamalfoy — @my-tearsricochet — @ponyboys-sunsets — @peqchsoup hope you all enjoy it!
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spideyjimin · 5 months
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Right time (preview)
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⤷ part of the timing series 
⏤ pairing: jungkook x female reader 
⏤ genre: parent au, exes to lovers, ceo au, angst, fluff, and smut 
⏤ rating: 18+
⏤ words: 1,055
⏤ summary: following your reunion with jungkook, getting back together seems to be the right thing to do however everything is different. jungkook is a father, running the company you’re working for, and there are still things to be solved. nonetheless, it can’t erase the tremendous physical attraction between you. is it now the right or wrong time?  
⏤ author’s note: thanks all for waiting for this little preview & thanks as well for voting! here you have it & hopefully, very very soon right time will be all yours. as you can notice, the banner changed & I also hope you like it ☺️ don't hesitate to let me know what you think of this little preview, thanks for reading 💞
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To say that Jungkook was nervous was an understatement. He’s going out on a date with you. He’s literally screaming on the inside like a 5-year-old that finally got the candy they were asking for. He’s been waiting for this for years and also, he hasn’t been on a proper date in a while. But he’s very much excited. 
“Hi,” you say as you step outside of the apartment complex. 
A bright smile appears on both of your faces when you see each other. Honestly, having had sex a couple of days ago brought some happiness to your lives. You’ve been feeling more alive than ever, and nothing can erase that feeling. Well, at least, that’s what you thought. 
There are still things left to discuss but right now, you’re both on cloud 9 so you don’t feel the necessity to talk. You simply want to stay in your little cloud a little longer which means that you’ll do everything to stay there. 
“Hi, yn,” Jungkook offers you the bouquet he’s holding in his hands. 
“Thanks for the flowers,” you reply as you take the bouquet. 
Your eyes move from Jungkook to the flower arrangement, it’s a very pretty one. This kind of surprises you since Jungkook never bought you flowers when you dated before but you have to forget about the past. Things are different now as you both are very different people today. 
“Arya helped me choose them,” the smile on his face grows bigger while remembering being in the flower shop with her. 
At first, he was planning to go alone to buy you flowers but then, he was spending the day with his daughter so he brought her up to have her little opinion. Now, she’s staying at her mama’s place for the 3 upcoming days. Jungkook hasn’t mentioned anything about you to Eunji yet but for sure, Arya will mention the bouquet to her mother so he’s very much aware that he’ll have to at least explain something to Eunji. 
“Well, you both have good taste in flowers,” you quickly smell the beautiful bouquet. 
“She’s my daughter so she definitely has good tastes,” he instantaneously answers. 
A little laugh leaves your lips at his words. That’s easy to say when it’s your own daughter, you think but his words also warm your heart. It’s so sweet that he let his daughter assist him in choosing a bouquet of flowers for you. And it’s also extremely sweet how he speaks about her. 
“Your tastes can be very much questionable,” you tease him. 
With surprise, he raises an eyebrow. He definitely wasn’t expecting to hear you say those words but he’s undeniably liking being teased by the woman he loves deeply. 
“If mines are questionable, then yours are dubious,” he doesn’t hesitate to reply, “especially your taste in men,” he adds. 
“For sure, it is because I’m still wondering how on earth I could have fallen for you,” you end up laughing. 
But the truth is how you could have not fallen for him. It’s easy to love him, and it feels even easier to be loved by this man. There are for sure many things to say about your love for him but it’d take you probably days or weeks or even more to list all the reasons you fell hard for him. 
“That’s exactly what I was referring to,” he adds. “Not sure how you fell for me, especially back then.” 
Hearing him saying that inevitably breaks your heart, even if he’s joking. For sure, back then, he wasn’t the best person on earth, he was a fuckboy after all. He was very much known on the campus for being the guy who fucks every girl he meets, and for being a heartbreaker. But he was perfect for you. Beyond that image of fuckboy, he was the sweetest guy you had ever met.  
“Don’t say that,” you gently slap him on the arm. 
“I’m serious, I don’t know what you saw in me when we started dating,” his stare becomes quite sincere.  
Now, your heart is very much broken by his words. This man doesn’t even see how pretty and amazing he is. But beyond that, he’s without any doubt the most brilliant person you’ve ever met. Even back then, what charmed you was his mind and heart. It was never about his looks because if it was for that, you wouldn’t have approached him at all. He was a fuckboy, the kind of guy that you hated. 
“I saw your heart underneath all those walls,” you say before placing your hand on his chest, right above his heart. 
Jungkook places his hand on top of yours. He can’t even express what he’s feeling right now but he’s absolutely sure of one thing, he feels lucky to be with you here and now. His hand caresses yours, both of you with a little smile on your faces. This moment is undeniably heartwarming for the two of you. 
“But you were the only person that I let in,” he whispers. “You’re the only one that got to see who I truly was.” 
At his words, you inevitably squeeze him in your arms for a tight hug, your head pressed against his chest. It surprises him but he holds you back. While hugging you, it reminds him just how much he missed it. When you were together, you used to hug each other a lot. It brought a lot of peace to the two of you, it was a moment where everything would disappear for an instant. It was a moment of pure happiness. 
Just as it is right now.
None of you want this moment to end. This feels extremely good. You hold him even tighter in your arms, you don’t desire to let go of him. You close your eyes to enjoy this moment even more. This is something you also missed deeply. Well, to be honest, you deeply missed Jungkook. Maybe more than you’ll ever admit. 
“I love this,” you whisper very low. Jungkook hears it and can’t help but smile even more. He doesn’t say anything, he’s simply enjoying this moment with you. Hopefully, this won’t be a one-time thing. He’s hopeful that you’ll get to do this more often. Because a hug always heals a heart.
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My little winter rose (Aemond Targaryen x Little red riding hood!Reader)
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synopsis: On your way to visit your grandmother, you meet a handsome stranger that points you towards some lovely flowers. Little do you know what else that aquaintance holds in store for you...
warnings: slight dubcon, p in v sex, mention of severed body parts, afab reader
word count: 2.3k
taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1
(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)
A/N: Thank you to the wonderful @slytherincursebreaker for requesting this piece. I hope you like it as much as I loved writing it!<3
Dividers by @valeskafics
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For as long as you were old enough to roam around Winterfell and the surrounding woods, you heard the same thing every time. "Beware of the one-eyed beast in the woods" or some form of that sentence. You knew it by heart, saying it along every time it was spoken. Yet you had never seen a beast, no matter how often you wandered through the trees you called your second home. However, it also led to you becoming less watchful every time, thus not noticing how the so proclaimed one eyed beast very much saw you. Grew taller as you did with age until he towered over you easily, his mind darkening with thoughts as yours brightened with entirely different ideas. Going unnoticed day after day after day. Another institution set in place that you remember ever since you could think was a group of hunters going out every night. Their torches burning like the fear in their hearts, sharp swords, spears and weapons of any kind held close to their bodies that would always return marred. Sometimes you would hear rumours that people that died at an earlier date were taken by the beast while hunting for it alone.
You understood all of it, though that didn't mean you liked it. The sight of the hunters was one you hated. It was a surprise that with their viciousness the "beast didn't las out more or come closer to the village. Not even all the understanding of the human mind in the world could have saved you from hating the head of the hunters with a passion that burned even brighter than any fire ever could. Howland Reed and his relentless pursuit of trying to win over your affection by bragging about hunts long over and how well equipped he was to hunt the one-eyed.
"Red! Where are you off to?" He yells from a distance to stop you, as he trots over to you. Cursing him out in your mind in return, you oblige and wait for him to catch up with you, putting a smile on your face as you did so. Even the nickname everyone called you due to the red cloak you wore at every given time, sounded so gross from his lips you wanted to puke. "Oh, I am merely off for a visit to my grandmother." You chirp in the politest tone you could muster.
“Well, how lucky I must be to catch you then? You see, I just had some modifications done to keep you safe better.” He presents you with one of his hands and you see exactly what modifications he talked about. His nails had been filed into sharp points and seemingly coated with silver to harden them, just like claws. The pride in his face makes it hard for the polit mask to stay on yours.
“Say, Howland.” You take a deep breath in to keep it together as you speak. “I have been wondering something lately. Mayhaps you will be able to answer the question.”
“Ask me anything you wish and rest assured that the smartest man around will surely give you an answer.” He makes it so hard not to throw up right then and there.
“You are too kind. Now my question is, if you are as smart and strong and skilled in hunting as you proclaim… How come that one-eyed beast has not been slain yet?” You don´t stay to hear his answer, instead you hide a giggle behind your hand and go off on your merry way.
With the light of the early afternoon sun in the sky you have little concerns or cares about the safety of the forest. Humming the sweet tune of a song that you had often sung with your grandmother when you were younger, you skip along the way.
The deeper you get into the wood, the colder it gets and so, while you wrap yourself tighter into the red cloak, you almost run into what you at first think is a tree. As it turns out it is another human, a man and a tall one at that. His silver hair reaches down to the middle of his back, covering one of his eyes and the other you are sure shone in a pretty lavender hue once. If it did it had since dulled to a darker tone. The creases in the pale skin on his face speak volumes on how hard his life must have been. Yet when he looks down to meet your eyes, there is a charming smile set in place.
“My apologies, ser. I should have watched my steps.” You apologize before he even opens his mouth, looking up at him with the most innocent eyes he had ever seen.
“Oh no, by all means, I am the one that has to apologise. You are not the only one that should have watched where they were going.” The beautiful stranger replies in a velvety smooth voice.
"Please, I insist. If I would have stopped for a moment, I would not have run into you." You reiterate. "Alright." The stranger lifts his hands in mock surrender. "May I ask where a young maiden like you is headed? All alone in these big woods." "Well, for one I am not alone. Clearly." You go to answer with a waggish smile. His grin widens in response and his voice deepens for a moment as he speaks. "I would not be so sure that is such a good thing." His words hold a sense of warning that you swiftly ignore to tell him where you were going. "I am on my way to see my dear grandmother. She lives not far from here."
"My, what a sweet girl you are. Your grandmother can count herself lucky to have you." You hadn't even noticed so far, but when he continued speaking his voice registers almost right beside your ear. "If you want to bring her some flowers, the winter roses are blooming beautifully not too far from here in that direction."
You follow his finger with your eyes, to see that it isn't that much of a detour.
"I will be going right away. Thank you, kind stranger." You turn your head back to him.
"Oh no, I have to thank you." He murmurs. “And you may call me Aemond.”
“Aemond…” you test the way the blonds name rolls off your tongue and then let your smile widen as you give him your name.
You happily skip along the way, giving him no chance for further conversations as you only turn once more to wave him farewell.
While you busy yourself with making the most beautiful bouquet of winter roses and greenery, Aemond goes off with a new plan in mind to finally get you.
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The task takes you longer than you would have thought and so the sun stands high in the sky when you continue the way to your grandmother's house. It begins to grow dark when you arrive at the small house in the middle of the woods, so it is no wonder you find your grandmother asleep in her bed.
Gently you shake her awake by the arm. “Grandmother, are you well? I came to visit you." "My sweet girl, is it really you?" The old woman's voice sounds different than normal, though you can't quite put your fingers on the exact way it does. "It is. I brought you some flowers and a cake I baked." You set down the flowers in a vase on the bed side table and sit on the edge of the mattress beside her. "Oh, you are so good to me. Come, lay down. You came all this way and I could not possibly send you home in the darkness." Without any questions you obey her, pulling off the cape and dress until you are only left in your small clothes. Through the thin fabric the cold air makes your nipples harden and so you hurry to climb underneath the blanket.
Once in bed, you notice the long scar over the left side of her face, with the eye seemingly missing entirely. “Grandmother, what happened to your eye?” The words come out dripping with uncertainty.
“Bad men took it, but you need not worry about it. They are not able to hurt anyone anymore now.” The answer does little to quell the questions on your mind.
"My, what big hands you have, Grandmother?" You continue questioning.
"All the better to hug you." Comes the quick explanation.
"And what sharp teeth you have..." Your skin begins to prickle and the air becomes harder to breathe. Something in the way your grandmother pauses before answering, makes the hair on your neck stand up. Too late to react, as you get pinned to the mattress with surprising strength.
"All the better to eat you!" With a swoosh the blanket and who you thought was your grandmother's clothes get ripped away, to reveal Aemond sitting on top of you.
He grabs your shift and easily rips the fabric off your body, leaving you gasping, wide eyed and unable to cover yourself as he still pins your wrists above your head with one if his large, strong hands.
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The cold air, that streams in through the cracks in the window frame, has your nipples harden even further, until they stand painfully against the heat of your admirers’ chest. Instinctively you lean further into him to catch more of his warmth. Aemonds hard cock presses between your folds, twitching against your entrance, to collect some of the juices that flowed between your thighs.
“Will you be a good girl if I let you go now?” He growls lowly into your ear, eliciting a quiet but eager nod from you.
Slowly the pressure around your wrists vanishes to come down to hold you by the hips. Aemond leans down to capture your lips with his. The slow, but nonetheless passionate nipping at each other’s mouths gives the perfect way for him to express every last bit of longing and yearning that had coursed through the blond’s body ever since he first laid his eye on you. The kiss deflects your attention from the way Aemond rubs his erection against your dripping centre until he has buried himself entirely in it. His tip nearly kisses your cervix and the way your cunt adjusts to his form makes your entire nervous system burst into flames. The flames lick only higher as Aemond absolutely ravages you, rutting into you with inhumane pace and without abandon. It seems he fucks deeper into your tight channel with every thrust, that is accompanied by breathily whispered praise of how long he had waited for this moment and how well you took him. Every once in a while, when a pained whimper leaves your lungs, he kisses your forehead, rubs a few circles with his thumbs into your hipbone and shushes you in the most loving tone anyone had ever used on you beside your family. Yet Aemond doesn´t slow down. Not until you are first to reach your peak and he had made sure to shoot his seed so deep into your core it was sure to take.
Aemond slides out of your sensitive cunt and sits back to catch his breath.
“Are you alright?” he inquires short of breath.
“I am. Perhaps I will be a bit sore for the next few days.” You jested back with a raw voice.
“Ah, my apologies. I simply found myself unable to hold back any longer. I have been watching you for so long, my little winter rose. Imagining how it would be to touch you, to claim you, to finally take you as my wife in the face of the seven…” The one-eyed man sheepishly rubs his neck as he confesses to his desires.
Desires that make your face feel like it is on fire once more and your brain is entirely empty. “Is that the truth?”
“I could never lie to you about the graveness of my affections towards you.” Gently, Aemond takes one of your hands into his and presses a kiss to the palm of it.
“Oh, Aemond…” You melt at the show of affection. “I wished nothing more than to be able to be with you for the rest of our days, but I fear it is not possible. For my parents have already promised me to another.”
“Worry not. I have already taken care of that.” The blond stands up to offer his solution to the issue. A severed hand lands between your legs on the bed.
You gasp and raise your eyebrows, but before any question can claw its way out of your lungs, the sharpened silver nails catch your attention. It was Howlands hand that lay there presented to you as if it was a trophy. However, it does not disturb you. On the contrary, it makes you feel strangely appreciated, that someone would go so far as to secure you being with them.
“How dare that son of a whore go after my wife.” Aemond growls and his forehead lays into deep creases.
Careful not to kick around the severed body part, you stand up as well now, stalking over to Aemond on mildly trembling legs. When you reach him one hand goes to his shoulder for stability and the other rises to his face to run the thumb over the space between his eyebrows until it is even again.
“There is no reason to get angry about him anymore. My heart never belonged to him, but it will forever belong to you.” The two of you share one more kiss. This one much more slow, but just as emotional, to seal your future together.
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ruskaroma · 1 year
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ordinary, corrupt human love. | chapter 1: written in blood.
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Warnings: this series will include highly disturbing/dark topics such as stalking, unhealthy obsession, graphic descriptions of violence, blood and gore, manipulation, gaslighting, large age gap, emotional/psychological abuse, dom/sub undertones, bad BDSM etiquette, etc.
this is a dark fic, written in john's pov and a glimpse of how his mind works. if you still continue to read and get triggered, that is not my responsibility.
Summary: John finds himself a new obsession.
Author's note: this is my first ever fanfic for this fandom and i am beyond excited to share this with you guys! though i must say before you begin, english is not my first language and there might be a few errors in my writing here and there, so i apologize in advance.
but either way, i still hope you enjoy this piece, and i can assure you that once i finish writing this series there will be more to come! i really enjoy writing john wick be a merciless bastard who kills everything that breathes, and i hope you enjoy it too as much as i did.
please, please, PLEASE tell me what you think in the comment and reblogs and likes would be so appreciated. it motivates me to write even more :)
(also this is not edited so all mistakes are on me and i apologize)
Word count: 8.1k
also read on ao3.
It’s one of those days again.
The sound of his watch ticking is the only thing keeping his car from being too quiet. His eyes watch every single movement of his target, never leaving his sight. It won’t be too long for John to finally strike, he just doesn’t want too many civilians seeing the horror that’s about to happen right before their very eyes.
His mind is thinking of many things he could do with this target in particular. A lowlife thug that got himself involved with a very dangerous Italian mob, but then again that’s not the reason why John’s murderous intent is at its peak at the moment.
He’s angry at something, he just doesn’t know what. And this target of his isn’t helping his situation at all. Reading his criminal record made John think this could be a chance to cure his boredom. This man is not only a sex trafficker, but also a pedophile who has a history of targeting teenagers to rape and sell to the black market that’s as fucked up as him.
He doesn’t normally take his time thinking of ways to kill his targets. He points, shoots, leaves. This one in particular though, got him facing a side of him that John himself doesn’t want to face.
He would start by breaking every single one of the man’s fingers. And if that doesn’t do any justice, he’ll cut them off.
One by one, let the man savor the feeling, let John relish the nightmare.
He could slit the man’s throat, watch as life drains away from his body, watch as the man clings to his legs for mercy. John could even pull out the man’s dick, step on it, fucking cut it off and shove it so far down his own throat that he couldn’t scream for help if he tried.
It’s John’s version of Colombian Necktie. A classic, only ever tried it out four times, hopefully this would be the fifth.
John is never the one to take pleasure in killing people, but these past few months have proved him otherwise.
Maybe it’s because of Helen’s death, and the way he was basically forced to sculpt the demons he buried back into himself. His only remaining bit of humanity was taken from him, and he’s coping in the most unhealthy way possible. Perhaps Winston was right about dipping his pinky a little too much into the pond, but it was inevitable.
John has gone back to his old ways. Taking contracts here and there to distract himself from the void in his heart. He remembers how burying a knife into someone’s throat for the first time in many years has ignited something in him he didn’t even know he had.
That’s why he’s here, exiting his car in a swift move, following his target as quietly as possible into a narrow alleyway that stinks of garbage in piss. This would be a nice place to kill a guy like him – right where he belongs.
John’s movements are so discreet the man couldn’t even sense him until John wrapped his right arm around his neck and his other hand went to cover the man’s mouth. He walks them both to the back of a building as the man struggles, where John’s sure no more people are present, and he kicks him on the jaw to stop the man from making any more noises.
John can make this quick. Pull out his gun and blow his brains out. But there’s that sinister glint in his mind that’s telling him to do something unimaginable – grotesque even – a death a man like him deserves.
The man tries to swing his arm at John but misses pathetically. The poor guy’s already shaking and John hasn’t even begun.
John doesn’t respond to the pitiful attempts of questioning who he is and who sent him here, he simply pulls his knife from his pocket and wastes no time slashing it against the man’s throat, the blood spraying all over his face. The man tries to stop it by shakily covering the deep cut with his hand, but it’s useless.
He’s gargling, choking on his own blood, and John’s watching it all unravel with a familiar glint in his eyes.
John is contemplating if he should follow the plan he made in his head or just leave it like this. Somehow, the sight looks rather incomplete to him. He knows what he’s done is not enough, but that could be just the rage talking. The man’s already dead, and surely cutting off his dick and shoving it so far down his throat it comes out of the wound would leave an ugly reputation on his name. 
Would that be a good thing? John is already feared enough, would it be a good thing to make people fear him even more? But then again, this won’t be the first time he’s done it. Doing it again one more time wouldn’t make any difference.
He glances down at the dead body on his feet before he kneels down to do the unforgivable.
Slicing off a man’s cock is easy. Too easy. John’s knife is perfectly sharpened and stoned, he merely uses any strength to cut it off. The sight is so fucking ugly, too much blood, but nothing he can’t handle.
Once that’s done, John uses his other hand to force the dead man’s jaw open, immediately greeted by the foul stench of blood as he shoves the unpleasant dick into the man’s open mouth. The genitalia is definitely not long enough to reach the throat, but that won’t be any problem for John.
He grits his teeth as he forces his hand in there, not bothering to care even if the jaw breaks and the hole becomes even wider, his goal is the only thing in his mind.
The blood continues to drip and he has never been so grateful for wearing an all black uniform for this occasion. Soon enough, after a few minutes of such a brutal wrongdoing, John sees the tip of the cock reaching the deep wound on the man’s throat as it continues to peak its way out.
A sick, small smile spreads across John’s face. The smile is barely there, but he’s fucking enjoying this more than he’d like to admit. He can only imagine how the news would spread across the assassin underworld like a wildfire.
The Boogeyman’s back in business and he’s scarier than ever.
Perhaps this might be the way to lay his point across. This is a way to show them that it was not a good idea pissing him off, killing what’s his, and bringing him back in business. They’d regret it, but it would be already too late for that.
John uses his other hand to pull the cock right out of the man’s throat but not completely. Half of it is hanging out and John thinks he could even consider this as a masterpiece. There’d be flies and maggots that would make the scenery better, but the cleaning service is there for a reason. He can’t just not use it.
John stands up from his position, pocketing his knife back into his pocket before retrieving his phone with the other. He dials a number, waits for them to pick up, all while admiring his work on the ground.
His previous contracts these past few months all ended in such an unimaginable, ugly way. He figured that by showing them that he’s capable of such brutality, it would increase the numbers of people calling him in for more jobs, because this is exactly what they wanted. They wanted Baba Yaga, the ruthless killer of the underworld who stops at nothing to finish his job, and he’s simply giving it to them.
Someone picks up the call and he straightens his posture, checking the time on his watch before speaking.
“This is Wick. John Wick, yes. I would like to make a dinner reservation for one.”
The news spread faster than anticipated.
The notorious man John Wick, the hot topic of the criminal underworld at the moment, even gained the attention of The High Table, and it all happened in the span of one day. That’s how quick the news spread amongst his fellow assassins, though that’s exactly what he was going for.
John expected it so he isn’t surprised when he receives a call from Charon saying Winston wants to meet him.
He inserts a coin in the door and the small window opened briefly. The guy on the other side immediately recognized him, not wasting a single moment to open the door and let the man of the hour in. All eyes are on him the moment he steps into the club, but no one dared to murmur anything to anybody – not when the man himself is here.
They know better.
John spots Winston at his usual spot drinking his usual order, signaling John to sit beside him where a glass of bourbon is already present. 
“Jonathan,” Winston greets, raising his glass. “We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”
“I figured,” John replies, though not interested. He slides himself to the booth and takes a sip of his own drink. “I don’t understand why though.”
“Are we really playing this game, Jonathan?” The manager raises a brow. 
“I was just doing my job.”
“In a way you don’t normally do,” Winston then adds. “Or should I say, in a way you don’t even do.”
John gives him a look, but he could tell Winston doesn’t know how to interpret it. His face remains emotionless, not letting the mask slip and grant Winston the privilege to take a peak. John will continue to play this game until he’s satisfied, until he feels something again. Surely he’ll find what he’s looking for while doing the only thing he’s ever good at – slaughtering.
“Let’s just say I was trying out a new technique,” John says, voice deep and almost sinister. Winston’s scared, though he doesn’t show it, John knows. 
“I have known you ever since you started, Jonathan. Not once did it cross my mind you would do something so.. horrifying as this. You discarded the body like he was some sort of pig, so believe me when I say I couldn’t believe it at first.”
John has no idea why Winston’s whining about him being horrifying, when that’s all they’ve been saying about him ever since he joined. He didn’t gain this reputation for no reason, now he’s just simply showing them what more he’s capable of.
“You should’ve seen his record.” His tone is menacing, swirling the drink in his hand as he stares deeply at Winston’s eyes. “He’s worse than a pig.”
The drop of the curse word takes Winston by surprise. “So is that what it is, then? You killed him that way because you think he deserved it?”
“Not really,” John simply sighs, leaning back on the leather seat as he takes another sip of his bourbon. He really isn’t planning on staying longer, but Winston seems to be taking his sweet time asking him a bunch of stupid questions. “I couldn’t care less of what he’s done. I was simply… bored. Saying that I did that because I think he deserved it gives people a reason to think that what I did was justifiable.”
The look on Winston’s face says enough. He’s afraid of John, afraid of what he has become. Hearing John say he did such an unforgiving thing just because he was bored is beyond frightening. No man has ever inflicted so much fear on him before – at least not until John.
“I think we’re done for tonight,” Winston finally says, not wanting to hear any more disturbing thoughts of John, but he remains polite and calm for the sake of their friendship. “You have a good night, Jonathan.”
John gives him a nod, standing up from his seat and downing his drink in one go. “Goodnight, Winston.”
He exits the club with an eerie aura following behind him, not caring about the way people are looking at him like he’s got Death himself walking beside him.
It makes him wonder that maybe death doesn’t follow him after all.
Maybe it is him.
Someone offered him five million to fuck up a man who allegedly stole a fuck ton of kilograms of cocaine from their warehouse, and really, who is John to decline the offer?
Hunting the man is easy. It didn’t even take a day to locate where the man lives, and John’s already breaking into his apartment to shoot the guy and leave. There’s no point in rummaging the place for the cocaine, all of it is already up the man’s system by the looks of it, and killing him is John’s job.
John wants to finish this one fast, he’s got other business to attend to. As he backs up the frightened, pathetic excuse for a man against the wall, he takes his gun out of his holster and aims directly at the head, right between the eyes, and he watches in great pleasure as the residue of his brains splatter against the walls and the floor.
This man didn’t even put up a fight. John thinks this is a waste of time.
He exits the apartment with disappointment heavy on his shoulders, slamming the door shut. Although the gun he used has a silencer, the rooms are too close to each other. He’s sure there might be other people who heard the shot of his firearm.
The apartment building is located at the filthy side of New York, where most known drug dealers and junkies do their nasty deals. It’s no surprise that as soon as John steps a foot out of the worn out building, all eyes are on him, but mainly on the clothes he’s wearing. They’re planning on mugging him out, and John would like to see them try.
Just as he’s about to walk to his car, his phone rings abruptly in his chest pocket. He retrieves it in one swift motion, not noticing that a gold coin fell out as he does so, and he continues walking to not waste any more time.
“Sir! Excuse me, sir, you dropped something!” John hears from behind. He doesn’t bother looking.
The call isn’t nearly as important as the business he needs to attend to, so he hangs up the call and pushes his phone back into his pocket. As soon as he does that, he feels a small hand touching his shoulder.
John’s hand immediately flies to wrap his large hand around the person’s wrist, turning around to see a young woman with a bewildered expression on her pretty face, little fingers holding his golden coin that looks far too big on her hand.
She looks scared, terrified, and oh how fucking awful that makes John feel. Like he’s been punched right in the fucking gut. He’s enthralled.
“I wasn’t–you dropped it and I’m just giving it to you, I promise!”
She’s looking at John with big, doe eyes. She also looks freshly showered, wrapped in a black puffy jacket that makes her even smaller than she already is. John lets his eyes linger on her lips, so plump and glossy. Her voice sounds sweet, soft, something John isn’t used to hearing.
John can’t help but to stare.
“Are you–are you gonna let me go, mister?”
The way she stutters triggers a hot feeling in John’s guts, and can’t help but to rub his thumb on the girl’s dainty wrist before slowly letting her go.
So delicate, he could snap them in half.
“Sorry,” John apologizes, taking the coin from her hold, and his fingers itch at the way her skin feels so soft against his rough hands. “Force of habit.”
“It’s okay,” she smiles a little, and there goes that hot curl in John’s stomach once again. “That thing looks expensive so be careful next time.”
Just like that, John doesn’t get the chance to reply back. She makes her leave and patters away from him, and he watches. He watches until she’s out of the view, taking a turn to a corner, leaving John with something he can’t quite figure out yet, but he soon will be.
For the first time in a while, he feels something new.
Suddenly, everything is too good to be true.
John will find himself staring at his hands for too long, still feeling the ghost of her soft skin on his fingers, fantasizing about her pretty face and soft, plump lips.
It’s scary for him to feel something again because that only means destruction. John likes to believe he has a gift of ruining everything he touches, especially the pure ones – like her. It’s a proven statement. Just look at Helen and Daisy.
This little one won’t be any different, he’s sure of it. John’s whole body is heating up everytime he thinks about her. The look on her face when she saw John’s chilling expression, her wide eyes, so glossy and innocent.
John wants to see her again.
His fingers itch, yearning to touch her again. 
Why he’s suddenly interested in a young woman he just met a few days ago, he has no idea. John’s a bit confusing – fucked up, even. He long accepted the fact that his mind is nowhere near healthy years ago. He tried to push those thoughts away when he met Helen, but now he’s out of his shell and back in business, there’s no need to.
He’s always been one of the wolves, and now that he’s laid his eyes on his next meal, he will make sure there’s not a single thing that will get in his way to hunt her down.
He had a crisis for two days before doing the unexpected. It didn’t take long for John to find her. 
Now, John has been following her around for a week, and he noticed a certain pattern his little one likes to follow as she goes on her day.
The very place where they met is where she lives, surrounded by a bunch of goons who have no idea what to do with their lives. John begins to wonder why she’s living in a place like that. He could take her, put her somewhere safe, under his care and protection. Make sure no one will dare to lay a finger on her.
John knows where she works. At a veterinary clinic not too far from her apartment, which is why she walks to work every three in the afternoon, but not without stopping by in her favorite deli and getting a large order of her favorite sandwich. She’s a part-timer. She’d be at school from seven to twelve, and at work from three to eight.
John finds the little things she does amusing. He’d be seated in a cafe right across from her work, watching how she moves around her office through a big window, petting and cooing at the animals who come and go.
She’s so perfect, so pure, so naive. She has no idea that a monster is lurking ten feet away from her, watching her every move like a hawk, thinking about the ways he could destroy her, make her his.
John is not delusional. He’s fully aware of what he’s doing and he’s aware of what people might call him. 
Stalker.
Creep.
They don’t know him though. They don’t know why he acts this way. They’d do the same if they were him, that’s for sure. He’s not the bad guy here, he’s simply just protecting her little one, even from afar. John went as far as destroying a whole Russian Bratva for a mere puppy and a car, he’d do even worse if she’s somehow taken away from him.
John sees her exiting the building and his first thought is to follow her. He stands up from his seat, the cup of coffee long forgotten as he makes his way out of the café and keeps a safe distance between the two of them. It’s risky, especially in the broad daylight, but John knows she’s too oblivious to notice.
She’s with her friends this time, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by John how she clings at the shirt of her co-worker as they cross the street, small hands fisting at the fabric. He thinks about how he won’t ever let go of her hand once she’s his. He’s not big on physical affection, having to grow up with no parents and a rather strict orphanage, but maybe he could be gentle. Engulf her hand in his, stroke it with his thumb, tuck her hair behind her ears, show everyone that she’s already owned.
They wouldn’t dare to lay their hands on her again.
John walks in the middle of the sidewalk, not bothering to move away despite seeing people approaching. He doesn’t need to, the look in his face is enough for people to give him the way. It’s interrupted however, when someone does try to get in his way, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back a little.
John clenches his jaw, pissed. He takes his eyes from his little one and on the person who so rudely interrupted what he’s doing – it’s Marcus.
“John? I was just looking for you at the Continental.” Marcus has a small smile on his face, clearly not aware of John’s expression.
His eyes dart behind Marcus, where his little one is supposed to be, but she’s gone. John feels something curl in his stomach, his fingers itching again, eyes rapidly searching for her in the sea of people.
He looks at Marcus again, deciding he’ll just find her later, but he worries that something might happen to her now that John’s attention isn’t on her.
“Why?” he almost snaps, voice deep and laced with no emotion.
“Why? Because it’s been quite some time, John. I haven’t heard from you since the Iosef situation, but I did hear you’re back in business,” Marcus replies, but when he sees how distracted John looks, his voice falters. “You working?”
“Yeah.” The lie comes off smoothly. “I’ll see you around.”
John taps Marcus’ shoulder, trying to sound as polite as possible even though he badly wants to break a couple of his teeth for taking his attention away from her. He knows Marcus is probably noticing something, but John’s never the one to care.
Marcus drops the subject. “Alright, John. I’ll see you around.”
With that, John disappears in the crowd with no looking back.
It’s been awhile since John last took a job.
He can’t seem to take his eyes away from his little one. He can’t stop fucking stalking her from morning to night time.
John’s afraid that once he takes his attention from her even for a second, something bad might happen to her. It’s engraved in his mind that she can’t protect herself and he’s solely there to be the protector.
No one would understand. He’s doing this for her own good.
John’s absence at the Continental doesn’t go unnoticed by Winston and Charon. They’re his favorite, after all. Watch his every move carefully ever since that ugly murder John did. Perhaps he could make his next kill even uglier. To them, it’s vile and grotesque. For John, it’s special and unique.
This time, it took a good self-beating before John decided to take a contract. Three million to hunt down a rival crime lord, nothing he can’t handle, but somehow it brings an unusual feeling on his shoulder he isn’t fond of. Perhaps because John’s leaving his little one for a while and he isn’t quite sure what to feel. Worried and pissed – but mostly worried.
That is why he hired someone to trail his little one on his behalf. Everyone in business would do anything for a coin despite how fucked up disturbing it is. John offered a generous amount of coins to keep the assassin’s mouth shut, but he also held him at gunpoint and gave him a good talk before he sent the dog out in the field.
His only job is to keep an eye on her, report everything he’ll see to John, and maybe even take pictures for safety purposes.
John has been overseas in the last three days, and everything that’s been sent to him has been his only form of entertainment. There’s videos of her giggling with her friends, videos and photos of her in the library, outside her school, her work, and even in her apartment. There’s also information sent to him about the background of her friends – every single one of them, because John didn’t pay so much for nothing.
There’s one particular friend that ticks off John in all the worst way possible. He’s young, around her age, and the way he hugs and touches her just fucking sets him off. John wants to break his fingers in half. He reminds himself that once he’s home, he’ll make sure to take care of that boy himself.
“What else have you got?” John questions through the phone, and it doesn’t take long for his precious dog to respond.
“Oh, he is one creepy motherfucker. I’m starting to understand why you’re so riled up with this guy, boss. The urge to strangle him every time he gets in the picture gets stronger and stronger everyday.” He hears a laugh at the other end. The guy that’s working for him – Alex, if he remembers correctly – is young, new in business, knows not to fuck with John so he keeps his job adequate. If Alex ever notice how fucked up John is for making him follow a young woman to keep his life in order, he doesn’t say anything about it. “Just tell me when I can shoot this guy and I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”
“Leave him. Keep an eye on him, but don’t kill him,” John advises, his tone leaving no room for discussion. “I’ll handle him myself when I get back. For the meantime, focus on Y/N and keep any troubles out of her way. Fail that task and I’d serve your head hot on a platter.”
“You got it, boss.”
John is playing nicely.
He’s not going to force his way into her life. He’s gonna be welcomed, with open arms, desired.
There are times he’d thought about giving in to his desperation and act with his dick instead of his head. There are times he’d thought about following her to a dark street, where no one’s around, he’s on the prowl and ready to pounce. He’d put a fabric against her mouth and nose, laced with enough chemicals to make her pass out and for him to carry her in his car with no problems whatsoever. John thinks about how he’d make it look like he’s just picking up his very drunk and passed out girlfriend and no one would know a goddamn thing.
John would keep her in his house where she won’t need anything but him. 
But of course, he’s not that cruel.
They’re only thoughts. Thoughts that he tries hard to keep away, but at the end of the day he reminds himself that he’s better than that.
John is not going to force his way into her life.
He’ll make sure to get her addicted enough to come crawling at his feet herself. She’ll be dependent on him, won’t be able to live without him. John will make sure his plan will go out smoothly or otherwise he’ll be the one bringing Hell with him on this land and seek as much havoc as he possibly can.
The death emissary himself will strike tonight.
A Friday night out with her friends has John on high alert. That’ll only mean she’s constantly surrounded with people, god knows what could happen if John even takes his eyes off her for a second. He lurks on the side, blending himself with the crowd as much as he can all while keeping his gaze on her. 
He doesn’t need any drugs to keep his mind insane, because the sight of a specific man getting very close to what’s his is enough to make him visualize all the ugly and twisted ways to kill a man.
She’s wearing a thin silky dress that’s low on her cleavage and shows her perky breasts. She’s currently the flame in a room full of moths, John included. Everyone’s eyes are on her, observing the way she sways her hips and sings along to the loud music – John’s fingers itch.
The itch to kill is back again, driving into his veins, his hands twitch on the table. John wants to pull out his gun and shoot everyone in this fucking room. He wants to stab them in the eyes one by one and make them feed it to themselves. He wants to grab this guy on the neck and slam his head against the wall repeatedly until his brain scatter all over the fucking place and there’s nothing left for him to ruin.
This guy is getting on his fucking nerves.
John watches as the man smoothly brings his arm on her shoulder, whispering something in her ear that doesn’t make her look so impressed. In fact, she looks disturbed, uncomfortable, tense. Despite the guy being her friend, John could tell she doesn’t feel comfortable with the way he’s showing her affection.
It’s hard to see her like this, but he knows he can’t just jump in between the two of them and beat the shit out of the guy until he chokes on his own blood. He’ll have to wait, maybe after this party, he’ll strike and discard the body in a way that’ll make even Winston spook in his sleep. It’s not a major offense to kill a man that’s not in the game anyway – or at least that’s what John tells himself.
This guy wouldn’t be able to be three feet near his little one once John’s done with him. He’ll be six feet under.
John sees her swiftly moving away from his touch, trying to make her rejection look as polite as possible, which receives a not-so-amused reaction from her little friend.
This guy doesn’t deserve her at all. No one does. Except maybe John, but that’s because he knows he’s capable of actually taking care of her and keeping her safe. Nobody would understand what he feels, what he yearns, what he wants.
Good girl, John thinks. Walk away.
His gaze follow her as she makes her way to the backdoor and out to the cold air of the city. John follows in a hurry, keeping a safe distance between the two of them, then opens the door as quietly as possible so he wouldn’t let his presence known.
There are a few people on the street, either having a smoke break or making out against the piss stained wall, but she stays just beside the busy road as she wraps her arms around herself.
His gaze burn daggers on her exposed back, the urge to cover her up with his jacket and take her home. A drunk man comes stumbling out of the club, accidentally tripping over his steps and he pushes her hard enough to make her yelp as her heels lose balance and almost making herself get run over by a passing truck.
Almost.
Everything happens so fast. One moment John is standing five feet from her, the next is he’s grasping her wrists in his hand and pulling her back to her feet and dragging her back to the curb. He was already on the act once he saw the man exiting the club, he knew exactly this would happen.
The scene looks strangely familiar, one John could never forget. The same position, same hand placement, same rough fingers around her wrist and dark eyes boring into hers – their very first meeting.
“You!” she gasps, not caring about the fact that she almost just got hit by a fucking truck. “I know you! You’re the guy outside my apartment that day! What are you doing here?”
John stares. Predictable. Of course she’s talking to him like they’ve known each other for years. She’s too friendly.
“Hello to you too,” John replies, though his tone is blank as well as his face. “You remember me.”
“‘Course I do,” she giggles, a little tipsy, pupils dilated and licking her lips nervously. “You’re pretty hard to forget. I remember asking my neighbors around the area if you’re new there, turns out you were just visiting.”
John furrows his brows, hand still not letting go of her wrist. What does she mean by she’s asked around the area about him?
His face must’ve looked confused, he sees her grinning childishly. “It’s a coincidence that I see you again!”
Not a coincidence, but fate.
John doesn’t believe in a lot of things, but he believes in fate. Fate brought him Helen, and now fate is bringing him another angel. If she really went as far as asking the neighborhood about his existence, then it must be fate.
“I’m Y/N. I figured if we keep bumping into each other then you should at least know my name,” she says, completely oblivious that John already knows everything that has to be known about her. From her little mannerisms to the last name of her fucking grandmother. “May I know yours or are you just gonna stare at me all night?”
“It’s John,” he gulps, not wanting to look like a loser in front of her, not after everything he went through for her. “It’s really nice to see you again.”
He sucks at this. He fucking sucks at this.
“You haven’t answered my question, by the way. What brings you here?”
It hangs in the air, John lets go of her wrist. Luckily, he thinks fast enough and says the first thing that comes to his mind. “Work.”
“Ah, work,” she nods. “You work here? In the club? What are you, a bouncer or something?”
“I don’t. Someone I work with is in the club.” A lie, but it’s not like she would know. “We had a talk.”
“Not really a man of words, eh?” she raises an eyebrow teasingly. 
“This is the most words I’ve said in the past few days,” John says. “I’d say you’re special.”
The look on her face is enough to make his entire night even better. Blushing, lips opening and closing, not knowing what to say. John wants to graze his thumb on her lips, thinking about how good it would feel stretching over his cock.
He blinks. Where did that come from?
“For someone who doesn’t talk much, you sure make it sound smooth when you do. Are you always this slick, John?” she giggles again, music to his ear. “That’s actually better than what I heard from my friend earlier, so thank you.”
“That’s good to know.”
Before she could say anything back, the door of the club opens once again and her friends appear, waving a hand at her and beckoning her to get inside. She looks at John, gives him a sympathetic look, as if apologizing that their talk gets cut off too soon.
“I’m really sorry but my friends want me back in there. Hopefully we can continue this again, yeah?” she smiles cheekily, tucking her hair behind her ear. “If you want, you could give me your number so we can talk someplace else? You know… with no one bothering us and all that.”
There it is. John didn’t think it would be this easy to sink the hook in. All he needs to do is pull and take what’s meant to be his.
“Sure.” He enters his number swiftly, feeling that familiar burn in his guts once again when he sees the wallpaper being her pretty face. “Feel free to message me whenever you want. I’ll make time for you.”
She looks at her phone and smiles before starting to walk away from him, waving a hand goodbye, but it doesn’t feel like a goodbye. John knows it isn’t. She’s already his the moment she started talking to him again.
“Of course! Get home safe, John! I’ll see you soon!” 
“You too.”
She doesn’t know John won’t be heading home any time soon until he knows she’s safe and sound in her apartment.
Jay Lopez.
The name burns on his tongue. Bitter and resentful. He stares at the photos his precious dog sent to him and he has to stop the impulse to burn every single one of them.
Jay Lopez is the guy that’s been leeching on his girl since the dawn of time, and thankfully John is here to put an end to it. 
He’s hideous. It’s interesting how John stooped this low that he’d be willing to kill a college student for being too near his little bambi, but alas, he’s never the one to care for such things. Morals and righteousness have never been in his book, not now, nor ever.
It’s only a matter of time until he gets rid of this pest. He’s fucking creepy, follows around not only Y/N but a bunch of other women. 
John doesn’t want his death to be quick and simple. He wants to do it in an ugly way, make sure his body will never be found, make sure he’ll never get to lay his hands and eyes on what’s his. The way Jay stares at her in these pictures ignites something evil within John’s veins. It’s been awhile since he felt something like this.
“Alex.” he looks at his pet standing by the door, waiting for the next command. “Bring him to me alive.”
“Can I at least rough him up a bit?”
John doesn’t answer at first, looks back at the photos on his table. “Do what you want, just make sure he’s still breathing when you bring him here.”
“On it, boss.”
Truth be told, John doesn’t need a pet to order around for this job. He has himself – a labeled attack dog of the Tarasovs for years, their hellhound, chained and muzzled unless they need him to kill. He’s a one man army as some would say, he doesn’t need Alex running around doing tasks for him, but it sure does make the job a lot faster.
It’s not a way to downgrade his reputation nor skills to hunt, he really just needs this Jay guy gone as fast as possible.
On the same day, Alex manages to haul a very brutally violated Jay to the floor of his basement. He stinks, pants wet from piss and a face John is having a hard time recognizing.
“You said rough him up a bit, not make him look unrecognizable.”
“Same thing.”
Jay is sobbing his eyes out, his cries of pleas falls to deaf ears and John just wants to fucking bash his skull with his own foot. “W-who are you guys?! What the f-fuck did I do?! Get me out of here or I’ll tell the fucking police–”
John kicks him on the chin hard to stop the goon from rambling. “You’re not telling anybody any shit, tough guy.”
“So, what are you planning to do to him? Can I watch?”
“Can you handle it?”
Alex shrugs. He’s in the presence of the most dangerous assassin in the underworld, wouldn’t hurt to learn anything from his skills and techniques, doesn’t matter how fucked up it is.
John nods towards the chainsaw sitting at the corner of the room, and Alex turns to face him with wide eyes. “Jesus Christ, man. You serious? Last time I heard you’re a hitman, not a serial killer.”
“Same qualifications. Same thing.” John grabs the man by the arm then drags him to a chair. He takes a rope from the table and swiftly ties him up securely. “We start with the head, then arms and legs. It would be hard to put his entire body in a drum full of acid, so we need to cut him off one by one.”
Alex looks like he’s about to run off somewhere safe from what he’s witnessing. “You’re talking like you’ve done this before, holy fuck.”
John gives him a look, and Alex immediately shuts his mouth. Right. He’d done this before. This is completely normal.
“I’ve been following you for a while, Jay. You’re a creep who befriends pretty girls, then you’ll drug them and make them have sex with you,” John taunts, the sound of his heels hitting the concrete floor is enough to send shivers down his spine. “Is that what you’re also planning to do with Y/N? Be her friend and fuck her once she’s drugged up and vulnerable?”
It’s a bold statement coming from John himself since he’s no better man than Jay, but at least his intentions come from a different place.
“You-you’re fucking sick!” Jay spits.
“I’m sick? I’m not the one going around making girls uncomfortable now, am I?” he picks up the chainsaw, then watches in enjoyment as Jay widens his eyes in fear. “We’re going to have a lot of fun, Jay. You won’t be able to use your pathetic little dick of yours to any woman ever again, and most importantly –”
John fires up the chainsaw, adrenaline coursing through his veins when he sees the horrified look in the man’s face as he tries to get up and scream for help.
“I can finally sleep well at night knowing you’re not in Y/N’s life anymore.”
As John steps into the light, a roaring chainsaw in his hands, Alex could only watch in horror as the basement gets painted with blood in mere seconds.
There’s a vacant apartment just across her room, giving John the perfect view of what she’s doing while she’s alone.
Most of the time, John will pull up a seat beside the window and take pictures. The other half of the time is just him staring, observing. It seems that she’s too comfortable knowing there’s no one across the building so she doesn’t close the curtains, leaving John no choice but to keep his eyes on her.
He found this place just three days after following her. He couldn’t help it. Following her to school and work suddenly wasn’t enough for John that he had to find a way to somehow watch her even in her sleep. 
He should be ashamed of himself. He should feel guilty for what he’s doing – he should stop, but he just can’t. John’s already done too much. This is like being pulled back into the underworld all over again but this time, there’s something good that’s waiting for him on the other side.
Maybe it’s the delusion that comes with it that’s not stopping John from whatever he’s doing. Lately, he’s been thinking about how life would turn out to be if his plan goes out smoothly. They’d live happily ever after, she would end up loving him just the way he planned it out to be, and John will make sure no one will ever dare to take those peace away from him again.
He’d make sure no one will ever come close to her again once she’s his. She’d be isolated but protected. Just how John likes it.
It’s been two days since John gave his number, but he knows she’s just giddy and nervous to text him. He’d seen her staring at her phone, biting her bottom lip anxiously, thinking if it would be a good idea or not. He knows she’ll give in one way or another because he sees it in her face. She’s too easy, too gullible, too naive.
She’s lonely, just like him.
John could tell she’s waiting for someone – she’s desperate, no wonder she asked for his number the second time they met. She wants someone to take care of her, to hold her, tell her that she deserves the world. That someone is John whether she likes it or not.
This isn’t just any unhealthy obsession. John finds himself too deep to get out. He knows her little mannerisms, studied her every action, has a red room full of her pictures and no one can’t say he’s not ready to give up anything for her. John has already given up his sanity ever since he mutilated a man for being too close to her.
She’s his life now, his everything.
John watches intensely as she shreds her clothes in her room, baring him the full view of herself naked, and John grips the side of his chair too hard his knuckles turn white. This is the first time he’d seen her naked, it’s so sudden and so… perfect.
His cock fattens in his pants as he observes every curve of her body. Her waist is fucking perfect and her body is thick yet delicate. John thinks about bruising her sensitive skin, leaving a mark that will show everyone that she’s owned. He would love to see her in a collar, hear it jingle when she crawls. 
She’s completely fucking naked that John wonder just how naive she is to think there would be no one seeing her like this. What if John isn’t the only one watching her? What if somebody else sees her like this? His fingers itch, jaw clenching.
He’d kill them. He’d kill them in front of her, and the thought somehow made his cock hard even more. He grimaces, disturbed at the reaction of his body.
John doesn’t really understand the sexual aspects of killing, but now he’s thinking about how she would react if she sees him working. He’d kill someone in front of her and he’d see the look of disgust and betrayal in her face. He can already imagine how her eyes would well up with tears and fuck, his dick shouldn’t be this hard.
She’d fear him, and John would be turned on. How fucked up would that be? Just how fucked up can his mind get?
He resists the urge to wrap his hand around his cock because fuck no. He would not stoop this low, he is not a teenage boy. No matter how strong the thoughts get, the thoughts of wrapping his own hand around her neck, squeezing it hard and cutting off her airflow as John forces his cock in her cunt, hearing her mewl and scream and beg to just –
John sucks in air, eyes back on her in her room, wrapping a robe around herself and heading to the bathroom. This is fucked up. His cock is incredibly hard and leaking, and his mind won’t stop thinking about how good her pussy would feel around him.
He’d talk her through it. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear as she releases around her cock, praising her for being such a good girl. Then he’d fuck her again, in a different position, debauching her in different ways not even the devil himself could think of.
John would ruin her, and she will have no choice but to accept it.
He brings his hand to his face as he sighs deeply. He wonders what Helen would feel of what he’s doing. Disgusted, no doubt. This is not the same man she fell in love with years ago. He would never do something like this, but fate has its plans, and John believes everything happens for a reason.
She was brought into his life for a reason and it’s up to him whether he takes.
John doesn’t realize that he’s been staring at nothing for too long until she comes back in his view once again. Her hair is still wet, still wrapped up in a fluffy pink robe, and John’s fingers itch to grab, squeeze, possess.
He sees her picking up her phone, staring for a moment before her fingers start typing. John has been anticipating this moment for so long, the time has finally come.
In his chest pocket, his phone buzz silently, the vibration sending excitement in his whole body.
There it is.
13.06.15 11:46 PM UNKNOWN NUMBER : hello! this is Y/N from the club the other night
13.06.15 11:46 PM UNKNOWN NUMBER : also that Y/N who returned your super expensive looking coin hehe ;) i hope you didn’t forget about me!
There it fucking is.
John’s lips curl into a small smile. His efforts are finally paying off. 
All he needs to do is to get what’s his.
1K notes · View notes
stinkyme · 7 months
Text
Hello! This is a request/idea made by a lovely anon, I hope you like it and enjoy it! :) <3
CW/TW: NSFW, fem!reader, established relationship, reader initiates sex, virgin!reader, first time, soft & mostly rough Dazai, vaginal fingering, a bit of spit for additional lube, praise, degrading, two orgasms for a reader (one purely vaginal), dacryphilia, creampie, mentions of aftercare, if I forgot anything please let me know! :)
It goes without saying, but no one should be rough with you during your first time. If they don't stop even if you are telling them and in actual pain - punch the shit out of them. Stinging sensation is normal, even managable pain, but someone being rough? No. If someone is slow and you are still in a lot of pain - you are tense which means you need more foreplay and reassurance. Additional lube is always good! Also, keep in mind that a first couple of times may be uncomfortable. You won't lose your virginity that day and immediately be able to go wild. It takes a couple of times and different poses. If, even after couple of times, you are still in pain regardless of foreplay and lube - you may want to check if you have a condition. If you don't, it could be that their cock is a bit too big which just means they need to accomodate their thrusts so they don't reach your guts, lol
It's different for everyone, but remember to be safe, use condom & lube, if you feel uncomfortable and too tense or in too much pain - it's okay to stop. If someone is denying the pain you feel or being a dirty cunt - punch them really hard. (aim for the nose) Also, for a lot of people - riding the first time is more comfortable because they are in control of everything. Backshots are usually uncomfortable/too painful for a lot of people. Missionary is also good! Whatever works for you - go for it :) Aftercare is also important! Keep that in mind as well, you don't want to make someone feel used or shitty. If you are the virgin in question, don't be afraid to initiate aftercare if needed! If someone is a dick about it - punch them! :3 (or call me and I will) Aftercare is ok to have even if you didn't indulge in any BDSM activities :) aaand! Bleeding differs for everyone - some bleed more, some less, some not at all. As long as it's not excessive or to the point where bleeding isn't stopping - you will be okay! In cases mentioned - immediately stop, wait for a bit to see if bleeding will subside because there is a possible tear which may be able to heal on its own, depending on a size. To be safe, go to the doctor or ER if necessary. (never ever continue having sex after a tear, even with a condom on, it can lead to infections) Also, a lot of afabs/females lose hymen long before they indulge in sexual activities and bleeding isn't a sole indicator whether someone is a virgin or not. Don't shame people who are virgins, nor those who aren't and you shouldn't have sex w people who do this. Be safe and have fun :3
So, this whole oneshot is purely fictional and obviously innaccurate for most people
I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)
The first time || Dazai Osamu x Reader
Dazai and you have been together for a while now. Your relationship was, surprisingly to some, stable and very loving. However, you haven't slept with each other yet, which was okay by both of you so far. This didn't mean there were no heavy makeout sessions, teasing neck kisses and bites, grabbing and humping or lack of desire. It just meant that it simply never went further. Partly because you weren't ready at the time and partly because of your busy work schedule.
You wanted to change that and you didn't feel too scared because you knew Dazai was experienced. Plus, he treated you with care and patience, so you felt safe and comfortable with him.
So, today, you decided to take things in your own hands as you were feeling ready...and quite needy to experience this with him. The two of you had a day off today, so this was perfect timing as well.
He finally arrives at your apartment and you are quick to jump on him, planting endless kisses all over his face. You feel a slight mixture of nervousness and excitement. But those feelings subside quickly by comfort as Dazai's hands support you by holding you under your thighs, a soft smile on his face.
"We saw each other yesterday, you clingy creature. Don't tell me you behave like this because you want something from me." he lets out a soft chuckle and you smile. Dazai knew you had something up your sleeve and you were hoping he would because that makes it easier.
"Maybe." you give him a little grin before you place more kisses over his face.
"You are hurting my feelings now." he says in an unserious voice with a hint of fake sadness. He carries you to your bedroom as you twirl his hair around your finger a little bit.
"Why did you assume it's something bad?" you tilt your head as he gently seats you on your bed, his hands letting go of your thighs.
"Is it not?" he gives you an intrigued gaze as he takes off his coat and vest, putting them both over a chair. You slowly stand up and his expression switches to slight surprise as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a passionate kiss.
Your hands move down his bandaged neck, fingers sliding between the small cracks they could find. His hands wrap around your waist, pulling you closer as his tongue brushes over your bottom lip. He begins gently sucking on it as you slowly unwrap his bandages, feeling confident.
He lets out a soft whimper, teeth holding your bottom lip for a moment before he deepens the kiss, his tongue finding yours quickly. Your kiss becomes lickerish, deep and sensual, his hands gripping your waist tightly. You drop the bandages on the floor behind him and hesitantly move your hands down, sneaking your fingers underneath his shirt. You hesitantly lift it up as the kiss becomes breathless, making Dazai pull away for a moment as he gives you a sly gaze.
"You are more bold than usual." he gives you a little smile, voice soft, but teasing. His remark makes you shy as you keep his shirt in place, revealing only up to his bellybutton.
"Shying away already? I didn't tell you to stop." he whispers in a silky tone, observing your reactions. You lean in, wanting to kiss him in order to help your overwhelming thoughts, however, he leans away, giving you a sly smile. He gently puts his hands on yours and begins lifting his shirt up with you. He pulls it over his head, revealing his slim, but fairly masculine figure to you. He lets go of your hands, his gaze having a lingering mixture of teasingness and trickiness.
"Just like this! Easy, right?" he says in a more regular tone as you drop his shirt on the ground, eyes shamelessly lusting over his figure.
"You've taken a shirt off before, right? How come you are so shy with me, hm?" his tone is silky and teasing. He tilts his head, leaning closer to your face as his gaze traces over it. You lock eyes with him, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"Well...uh, I did. Mine." you nod, hoping he would take the hint.
"What? You mean others have been letting you take your clothes off all by yourself? Unacceptable!" he says with a hint of drama in his voice as he snakes his fingers beneath your shirt, slowly rolling it up. You feel a wave of embarrassment and put your hands on his wrists, stopping him from moving further up before you tell him.
"No...that's not what I mean. What I mean is...there are no others." your voice is steady as you give him a meaningful look. Dazai blinks a couple of times, processing the information.
"You mean...you are a-?" he stops talking, unsure if he got the right hint.
"A virgin. Yes." you nod, voice steady and calm, even though you were a bit scared would this change something. You let go of his wrists, waiting for a reaction. Dazai keeps his gaze on you, seemingly dumb-founded at the moment. Quickly, his expression changes to an intrigued one, his fingers resting underneath your shirt.
His fingertips delicately brush over your skin as he leans closer, lips shadowing over your neck, not touching it yet. He leans closer to your ear, letting his lips touch it and moving over the thin, shell-like part of it in slow, up and down motion. The feather-like sensation sends shivers down your spine, furthering even more as he gives the sensitive skin a kitten lick.
"So, I would be your first?" he whispers, voice smooth and silky, but with hints of excitement.
"Yeah...are you mad?" you whisper back, a bit shy.
"Mad? God no, I am quite happy and honored, to be honest." he continues whispering, letting out a small whine in your ear as he takes your hand and puts it on his hard, still clothed cock. He makes you grasp it and you gasp in slightly.
"Can you feel how happy I am, pretty one?" he moves lower, finally placing soft kisses over your neck, going slow and making sure you feel each one. You feel a wave of heat spread through your thighs and lower tummy as he uses the tip of his tongue to trail over your sweet flesh, going from the base of your neck all the way up behind your ear. You let out a soft whimper as he slides his other hand between your shorts and panties, slowly pulling it down.
You can feel his cock throb inside your palm as his tongue moves over the middle of your neck and to the other side. He leaves small, wet kisses all over your skin, before he settles for a bit, sucking on a small portion of your flesh. Your body becomes a bit shaky, a soft whimper escaping your throat as his sucking becomes greedier, more intense. He lets your shorts drop down on the floor and faintly brushes over your waistline with his fingertips.
He slowly moves forward, making you move as well until you hit the edge of the bed. His hand moves on your lower back, caressing it gently before it slides further down, squeezing your ass. Dazai lets go of your skin, kissing the portion he was sucking on just a moment ago. He plants soft kisses all over the side of your jaw, finally letting go of your hand and moving it between your panties and skin. He uses both of his thumbs, sliding them down your hips and thighs as he moves lower as well. He lets your panties drop on the floor and slowly pulls up your shirt, your body following to make it easier.
He takes your shirt off, observing your body with a needy, almost hungry gaze as he unclips your bra with one hand, sliding it down your arms. You feel small shivers run through your body as he keeps observing you for a moment. His hands fall on your hips again as he leans close, placing kisses all over your chest area. In-between the kisses, he bites on your skin a bit roughly a couple of times, earning a soft moan from you.
He makes sure to follow up with small licks afterwards, to soothe the sensations. He gently pushes you on the bed and you adjust yourself, laying down properly. Dazai is quick to follow, taking his pants and boxers off. Your eyes widen a bit as you see his exposed cock, not too thick, but definitely making up for it in length.
He gives you a little smile as he adjusts himself between your legs, towering over you while doing so. He continues where he stopped, as he wraps his lips around one of your nipples, sucking on it a bit harshly. You let out a soft whimper, back arching a bit as your hands wrap around his neck gently.
You can feel his cock slightly pressing into your lower tummy and it makes your body fill up with warmth. Dazai moves to your other nipple, kissing in the middle of your chest before he does, and gives it a soft, kitten lick. He starts drawing small circles on it with the tip of his tongue, earning another soft moan of yours.
"So sensitive already." he whispers into your skin before he gives one quick, harsh suck on your nipple, squeezing a little gasp out of your throat. He moves lower, planting kisses all over your tummy, gently biting from time to time. He reaches your lower tummy, placing a few more kisses mixed with a few licks of his tongue before he straightens himself.
He spreads your legs, one of his hands resting on your knee as he uses the fingertips of his other one to softly brush over your clit. Your hips twitch immediately, a faint whimper slipping past your lips.
"Don't tell me you've never done this to yourself before." he tilts his head, voice a bit more serious.
"I have, it just…" you pause for a moment, finding the words. In the meantime, Dazai slides his fingers to your inner lips, slowly rubbing them up and down, producing small sticky sounds as your precum coats his fingertips. You let out a louder whimper as his fingertips trace back to your clit, drawing small circles. Your hips twitch as he speeds up his movement, back arching into the mattress.
"Didn't feel as good?" he continues your sentence in a teasing, but low tone. You nod quickly as small whimpers escape your throat. Dazai's grip on your knee is firm as his movement on your clit sends pleasant, tingling sensation through your body. You feel a warm, painful knot quickly forming inside your lower tummy as more precum leaks down your pussy.
Dazai's gaze is fixated on your pussy, the way your hips twitch from bare touching makes his cock make a twitch of its own. He slowly slides his fingers down, aligning the two of them with your inner lips. He rubs small circles as his gaze grows greedy. He slowly slides them inside your drooling cunt, a stinging sensation making you close your eyes tightly as you let out a soft moan.
"Just relax, can you take two for me?" he asks softly as he slides his fingers in and out of your cunt very slowly at first. You nod as you breathe out, relaxing your body as much as possible. Dazai rubs small circles on your knee, using his thumb, relaxing you further. 
"Of course you can. You want to be good for me, don't you?" he continues, making you focus on his voice as the stinging sensation is still there. You nod again, a soft moan escaping your lips.
"Good job pretty. Just keep on being good and I will make sure you enjoy yourself." his voice is silky and soft. He gradually speeds up his movement, making your hips twitch as you feel your pussy stretching. The bitter-sweet sensation of pleasure and mild pain makes you gasp out.
"I will turn you into a proper little slut soon enough, I promise." he says in a sly, lower tone as he leans to your other knee and places a soft kiss on top of it. Your pussy tenses up around him, slightly clenching his fingers. 
"You like that? You want to be a little slut just for me?" he gives you a little smile, resting his cheek on your knee as his hand keeps the other one in place. You leak more precum around his fingers, a soft whimper slipping past your lips. You give him a small nod and his smile grows bigger, but seems cunning.
"You are a filthy little thing. If I didn't know better, I would assume you did this many times before." he lets out a breathy chuckle as he speeds up the movement of his fingers even more. They slide in and out of you fairly easily now, but you can still feel them stretching you out.
The stinging sensation subsides mostly by intriguing pleasure. You let out mellow moans, your back still arching slightly as Dazai focuses his movement on your g-spot, sending sweet jolting sensations through your body.
His fingers curl just a bit, each pump in and out making his fingertips rub your sweet spot perfectly. You clench around his fingers, intense warmth spreading through your body. He slowly moves his head away from your knee, straightening himself above you as he brings his other hand to your lower tummy. He places his palm on top of it, putting a bigger pressure on it as his thumb finds your clit, slowly moving up and down over it. 
"You know what's the cutest thing about virgins?" he gives you a half-lidded gaze as he speeds up the thrust of his fingers, earning louder moans from you as his thumb switches to circular movement. You feel your lower tummy burn from sweet sensations, warmth spreading underneath your skin in quick waves.
"You tend to cum easily. It's so hard not to take advantage of that." he whispers, voice slightly trembling as he feels your pussy clench and your precum coat his fingers more. You let out a sharp gasp out as your thighs start to shake, an immense amount of teasing tingles making your heart beat faster.
You feel your orgasm coming quickly in a few mild waves. Dazai keeps up his movement, speeding up the thrusts of his fingers even more, relentlessly pressuring your sweet spot as his thumb pleases all needy spots of your clit. You feel a mixture of pain and pleasure, a few dim moans escaping your lungs as your release builds up quickly, almost reaching its peak. Dazai's gaze is greedy and hazy, head slightly tilted to the side as he observes your pretty face and reactions he was earning.
You tense for a moment as your orgasm reaches its peak, letting out a loud gasp followed by sweet moans as your body relaxes. Dazai keeps his movement, sending small jolts through your body as you feel overly sensitive. Your orgasm slowly melts away, sensations a bit more intense.
You let out a few quick, breathy whimpers and he extracts his fingers as well as moves away from your clit. You take a deep breath in as he adjusts himself between your legs, gently tapping your clit with the tip of his cock.
"You did so well for me. You can take more, right?" he asks in a silky tone, sliding his tip over your clit and inner lips. You shiver, giving him a small "yes" in a shaky tone. He lets a thicker string of spit fall down on his cock and pumps it a couple of times, coating it and making it wet.
"Such a good little thing." he praises as he aligns his cock with your entrance, slowly sliding it inside. You let out a sharp moan, your pussy tightening around him as he stretches you out. He leans his face close to yours, using his elbows as leverages next to your face and letting out a needy whine as his pelvic area kisses yours.
"Relax a bit." he whispers, and you try to untense your lower tummy. He places a soft kiss on your lips as he slowly slides his cock out, only leaving the tip inside, his shaky whimper spreading warm breath on your lips. You let out a sharp moan as he thrusts back inside with more force, suddenly and roughly stretching you out. A soft whine slips past his lips.
"So tight. You are making it hard for me to be gentle with you." he whispers, voice shaky as he begins thrusting in a faster pace. Your thighs tense up, more filthy sounds escaping your throat as the mix of pain and pleasure convulses your lower tummy. You put your hands on his shoulders, gripping tightly as he speeds up even more, already drunk in pleasure.
"You don't mind, right?" he asks in a steadier tone, gaze needy and sharp.
"N-no! I can take it!" you choke out as his cock keeps sending jolting sensations through your body. 
"You are such a filthy little whore already." his words come out shaky as he speeds up even more, his cock relentlessly stimulating your sensitive spots inside. His balls roughly slap the underside of your pussy, making it feel warm and tingly, almost like it's bruising. You dig your fingernails into his shoulders, incoherently gasping in and out, each time his cock reaches the deepest spot inside of you.
His thrusts are long and heavy, but he gradually shortens them, making them quick and sharp. It stimulates your g-spot without a break, making your pussy clench and relax around him. Dazai lets out a few whimpers and whines of his own, his thrusts steady and precise regardless. He slowly leans away from you, placing his hands behind your knees and pushing them to your chest.
You choke out a breathy whine as he angles his hips a bit, reaching deeper than before, making sensations unbearable. Tears form inside your eyes as his strokes are quick and rough, vigorously pounding into you. Dazai lets out a silky whine, cursing under his breath as his grips tighten. His skin slaps yours without a break, leaving a vibrating sensation behind as his cock keeps pressuring all of your sensitive spots inside.
It feels pleasurable, too pleasurable, but unbearable. You grip the sheets tightly as your eyes fill up with even more tears. You let out a few snivels, tears quickly rolling down your cheeks as Dazai keeps his pace, not showing much sympathy.
"Ah, is my pretty little thing overwhelmed? You said you can take it." his voice is surprisingly steady and calm, opposing his unbearable thrusts. A few more little snivels escape your lips as more tears roll down your cheeks.
"Sorry pretty, tears don't work on me in the way you'd imagine. Quite the opposite, actually." he gives you a small smile you can barely see through clouded vision, your snivels turning into moans as his cock twitches inside of you, stimulating you even more.
"You are taking me so well, such a good little slut. Keep it up." his tone is sly as he presses your knees into your chest even more, rolling his hips into yours in a quick, merciless manner. He lets out a long, pathetic whine as even more tears roll down your cheeks, pleasure too overwhelming. Your lips part, a little string of drool glistening over them as weak, breathy moans slip past them. Your body feels sore, mind hazy as you get drunk on pleasure yourself. 
"Your state is truly pathetic to look at, you are so easy to break. Such a filthy, dumb slut." his voice is a bit shaky, mixing with his own moans. Your cunt tightens around him even more, an intense heat spreading through your whole body as his cock keeps on stimulating the deepest and sweetest spots.
Your arms feel weak, hands barely gripping the sheets anymore as only moans can come out of your throat. You feel a heavy knot inside your tummy, more tears rolling down your cheeks. Dazai swiftly spreads your legs, moving them away from your chest and placing them on each side of his hips as he makes a deep thrust, reaching the deepest spot inside. You gasp out, more desperate snivels following.
Dazai leans his face close to yours, gently licking the tears away as his hips speed up even more. You weakly wrap your arms around his neck, feeling shaky and sore. He keeps on collecting your tears with his tongue as if they were a reward, softly kissing your cheeks after. Your lower tummy convulses in heavy, warm cramps as you feel another orgasm approaching. Dazai's cock pulsates inside of you, sending more vibration-like sensations to your g-spot as he feels you clench around him. Your moans become louder, more intense just like your pleasure.
"Gonna cum for me again? What a greedy little bitch you are." he chuckles, his voice getting drowned by his own moans as you leak more precum, edging him closer to his own release. Your fingernails dig into the nape of his neck harshly, earning a high-pitched whine from him. A strong wave of tingles spreads inside your lower tummy as you reach your orgasm, breathy moans escaping your lungs. Your thighs shake and Dazai doesn't slow down, his skin roughly slapping into yours, his cock not giving you a single break.
Your chest feels heavy and light at the same time, eyes rolling in the back of your head as your climax reaches its peak. Dazai places a sloppy kiss on your lips as he keeps up his relentless pace, his cock twitching even more. Both of your moans, whimpers and whines fill up the room as his pace becomes a bit messy, sharp gasp escaping his throat as he finally reaches his own orgasm.
A few thick whips of cum fill you up, sensation unfamiliar and odd, but still making your body shiver as you let out a faint moan. Dazai keeps on letting out breathy whimpers, kissing your chest to muffle them as his pace slows down. 
He slowly fucks his cum into you, his breathing calming down quicker than yours.
"You did so well, you were so good for me." he whispers into your skin, planting more kisses on your chest as he slowly pulls out, making sure he doesn't make a mess. You let out a soft whimper as your pussy feels oddly empty. Dazai rolls to the side, bringing you closer to him. You put your leg over his hip, face snuggling into his chest. He kisses your forehead and as you calm down, he finally speaks.
"Are you in pain?" his voice is soft.
"No, not really. But I am sleepy." you whisper, slightly yawning as you become aware of your own tiredness.
"That's normal, but we should take a bath first." he gently brushes his fingertips over your cheek and you nod, kissing his chest.
After whispering sweet nothings to each other, loving words and little confessions, you take a long, relaxing bath together, enjoying each other in many more ways both of you desperately needed.
The End :) <3
I hope you liked it and enjoyed it! :) <3
Thank you so much for all the love and support, it means a lot to me! :D <3
Forehead kisses :3
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theyanderespecialist · 3 months
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(Remake) Base Yandere Alastor Headcanons (Part1) Hazbin Hotel
[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! Now That the show is out (The first four episodes) this is the remade Headcanons for Alastor, The Radio Demon! As we know more about his character. Though I feel we will learn more about him, so this is just part 1. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter here!] 
(DISCLAIMER: Alastor is AroAce but in this headcanons and possible scenario and video (on YouTube) he is yandere which means love sick. So the love he has for the reader or listener is not romantic and is more obsession and possession than anything. Asexuals and Aromantic or anyone on those spectrums are NOT like this in reality! Thank you! 
DISCLAIMER 2: Alastor is not yandere in canon. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine, just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life, and neither are demons! Please remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!) 
-Remade Base Yandere Headcanons With Alastor, The Radio Demon Part 1- 
.Alastor he is not interested in sex or romance. 
.He is a bit of a chaotic evil or neutral (It is up for debate) 
.Though when he did see you, he got this strange feeling in his chest, a feeling he had NEVER felt before. 
.It made him feel unnerve like you had done something to him. 
.So he would start to watch you, like a hawk, having his shadow watch you at all times. 
.Sooner or later he realizes that he wants you, not sexually or romantic. No. 
.But he does want you to be HIS to own you and to have companionship with you 
.To spend the rest of eternity together. 
.It is very less romantic and more controlling and possessive. 
.Where he very much sees you as a prize and as HIS And HIS ALONE! 
.He would want to keep you though, and he would learn that sex and romantic acts help his cause of courting you to be his. 
.He also does like that when he does these things for you it makes you happy. 
.So even though sex and romance are not his thing, he does them for you! cause they make you happy. 
(Mid-headcanon disclaimer: Asexuals can choose to have sex and physically enjoy it (Sex is a physical act and anyone can do it regardless of attraction) Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. Choosing to have sex while on the ace spectrum is being sex favorable. And you can still choose to do romantic acts as an aromantic. Asexuality is a spectrum. Aromantic I am not 100 percent sure how that works but I know that Aromantic can still want to have a life partner and or closeness to other people just without the romantic parts, now! Back to headcanons!) 
.He does want you to be happy and content with him and he is willing to do those things cause of his twisted version of what is, for him. That is the closest he will ever feel to romance. 
.Of course, he is a yandere so there are some toxic traits as well. 
.Such as he is a tad bit controlling and very manipulative. 
.Using his charm and affection to manipulate you to want only him. 
.And also manipulate you from being near anyone who could try and trick you into being with them. 
.Cause let's be for real, Alastor has a bit of an ego and he for sure is confident that he is the best option for you. 
.That he is the only one that is good enough for you. 
.So there is no chance that lesser demons will be able to woo you. 
.But he knows that you, his sweet darling, could be manipulated and tricked into being with another demon or WORSE giving your soul to another demon. 
.Speaking of which, he will very much make a contract with you for your soul there is no way he is going to let that chance to have you bound to him and where he Will QUITE LITERALLY OWNS YOU! 
.So yeah, be ready for that. 
.He will of course not have it be a normal contract, but instead a marriage contract where you will be made his spouse. 
.That way you belong to him. And also, will be his life partner. 
.Still, he would have your soul, so it would not matter what you do, you will be his spouse FOREVER! 
.Now back to how else he would be as a yandere! He is beyond PETTY. 
.If he had rivals (Which he does not consider to be rivals) he would be SO Petty with them. 
.Always showing them and you, how much better of a partner he could be and how pathetic they are! 
.He is willing to humiliate them. 
.Though he does have a bit of a possessive jealous side of him. 
.If someone was to try and kiss you or touch you? Well, he is going to rip them from limb to limb. 
.He would take sick pleasure in destroying anyone who would DARE To defile you with even something as small as kissing your cheek or holding your hand! 
.It is unforgivable. 
.Though he fully outright denies being the jealous type. (He may even gaslight you into believing he is not the jealous type) 
.He loves to cook for you, and will slowly condition you to eating deer meat. 
.Do not worry he is not going to give you a bloody dead deer right away. He will cook it for you. 
.It makes him feel connected to you and feels a stronger bond and closeness to you when he cooks you a meal. 
.He may even teach you to cook, another bonding experience. 
.Though I am sorry vegans and vegetarians he is going to make meat for you and most likely trick you into liking it. He just would he is a cannibal he is for sure not going to let you eat like that! 
.Side note he may even take bites of you, maybe even during sex. 
.And lastly, for part one, I will go deeper into other things and dynamics he would be a bit more okay with you touching him. 
.THOUGH He prefers to initiate physical touch with you, as he would still tense up if you caught him off guard, but he would not fling you away. More just accepts it as he is a little uncomfortable. (I am pretty sure he is a touch-adverse AroAce and is only fine if HE is the one touching!) 
[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Part one is done, I hope that you all enjoyed this and, stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 
400 notes · View notes
dreamcubed · 8 months
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me! | george weasley x reader
song; me! [taylor swift, brendon uri(n)e] pairing; george weasley x fem!muggle!reader genre; accidental marriage, s2l, fluff, comedy word count; 7,8k timeline; post-second wizarding war (fred lives au) warnings; swearing, referenced alcohol consumption, references to hook-ups, references to sex, references to the war summary; after waking up in bed with a red-haired stranger and no memories of the night prior, you run off as quickly as you can. it isn't until months later when you're trying to buy a house that you learn that you can't just leave that forgotten night in the past
thought it would be ironic to have the song with the lyrics "i promise that you'll never find another like me" and "i'm the only one of me" with one of the twins lol
masterlist
"you're the kinda guy the ladies want."
————————————————
Typically, you were more responsible than this. You had always stayed away from drunk hook-up culture, hoping (perhaps too idealistically) to find organic love. Yet, on the night of your cousin's bachelorette party, you got so drunk that you found yourself in bed with a stranger the next morning. And you didn't know what to do.
All you could do for a few moments was look around the hotel room that you had evidently decided was necessary for the hook-up - and although you couldn't remember a single thing after your tenth shot at the club, the fact you were both naked gave away the events of the night prior.
He was red-haired, and quite nicely toned, but he also donned a partially missing ear. You couldn't see his face, so at that particular moment you couldn't judge whether or not drunk you had good taste. You pushed that thought aside - that was the least of your concerns. You needed to get out of there and forget that anything had ever happened, which shouldn't be too difficult thanks to the alcohol-induced memory loss.
So, with that, you slipped out of bed and scavenged for all your clothes around the room, and then quickly departed. You made it all the way down to the lobby without any human interaction, but it was there at the desk that you finally had to communicate.
"Heading out for a bit, Mrs Weasley?" the receptionist smiled at you.
You frowned, not understanding why they would address you as such - probably had mistaken you for someone else. But, you were in a hurry, so just grinned and nodded, leaving to never return.
***
Not many people were fortunate enough to buy their first home (alone) at the age of twenty-four without any help from their parents, but you had chosen a rather well-paid career path and had been meticulous with your money savings, so this was a reality for you. After a few months of working with a real estate agent to view houses and find the perfect home for you, you had finally come to a decision.
You had stumbled upon it really, when travelling from London to visit your family, you came across a road that you had sworn hadn't been there before. Curiosity had overcame you, and you had driven down it to find the cutest village named Godric's Hollow, which could also be described as peculiar. A lot of things in the village didn't make sense - like the fact they all seemed bewildered at the sight of your car - but the architecture was gorgeous. When you drove past an adorable rustic cottage with a 'for sale' sign out front, you didn't even have to think twice about viewing it.
It was a strange process, however, as the sign didn't have a number for the real estate agency, but instead read 'owl Cauldron Realtors for more details'. You asked around for information about Cauldron Realtors (a particularly strange name, comparable to the robes many of the older members of the village wore), and they pointed you in the direction of the realtor's.
From then on, the process to view the house and apply for a mortgage had been relatively normal, if not a bit old-fashioned in the lack of technology used. However, you reasoned that it was a small village and that they merely hadn't updated themselves like cities just yet.
***
"Why have you asked me to come here?" you asked as delicately as you could upon entering Cauldron Realtors.
"We have had something come up," Mr Linseed said to you. He was an eccentric old man, constantly adorning a pair of half-moon spectacles perched on the tip of his nose.
"Like what?"
"You told us that you weren't married."
You frowned.
"And I thought it was a bit strange given your muggle situation, but honestly I had simply assumed that you were a squib."
He was using a lot of words that you didn't understand. You had heard the word muggle passed around in the time that you had spent in Godric's Hollow, but had been unable to find out what it meant online or in any dictionary. Everyone used it so commonly you had felt too embarrassed to ask.
"Obviously, this changes the process for you to apply for a mortgage. We need your husband to sign off either that he will partially own the house or have no claim over it."
"I don't understand- I'm not married," you said.
"No?" the man raised a brow at you, "When we searched for legal documentation of your name, we found that it hadn't been Y/N L/N for a few months, but instead Y/N Weasley. I didn't think much of you not having gotten around to changing your bank details yet since it hasn't been long, but going by your maiden name is a little strange. So, I assumed that the marriage was short-lived."
Why did Weasley sound so familiar? You wracked your brain for when you had heard it before.
"Heading out for a bit, Mrs Weasley?"
Your eyes widened.
The guy from the hotel.
"What did you say my husband's name was?" you said slowly.
"I didn't, but George Weasley," Mr Linseed replied, "You knew that, though, correct?"
You nodded, "Yeah... just making sure."
The man frowned at you, "He is quite well-known I suppose - the shop Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is quite famous. Anyhow, here are the new forms that I need you to fill out and then we will be back on track."
You accepted them in a daze, but snapped your eyes up towards him again, "Where can I find Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes?"
"Diagon Alley, of course," Mr Linseed was clearly confused that you didn't know where your husband worked.
You had never heard of Diagon Alley, and he sensed that.
"You know? Through The Leaky Cauldron? On Charing Cross Road?"
Finally, a name you recognised.
"Oh, yes. Thank you, Mr Linseed, I'll be back soon."
God, what a process to get yourself a house.
***
You were pretty sure that in all your visits to Charing Cross Road, you had never seen that pub squeezed between those buildings before. But, you weren't about to complain, as you were desperate to find George Weasley and sort everything out. You couldn't remember his face, but you remembered his red hair and partially missing ear - that should be enough to identify him.
You hoped, anyway.
Upon entering the gloomy pub, you were met by quite a shocking sight - but one that wasn't entirely indifferent to Godric's Hollow. Except, you would describe the pub as having a more creepy ambiance, in a way. Beady eyes peered in your direction as you walked up to the bar, and you tried to hold your own as a woman with matted grey hair and disturbingly long fingernails smiled at you with missing teeth. You forced a smile back.
"Excuse me," you said to the bartender, who was similar to the woman in energy, "How do I get to Diagon Alley?"
He pointed to the door out the back.
"Just through that door?"
"You'll need your wand too," the woman who had smiled at you said, "To tap the wall."
"Wand?" you squeaked.
"I'll show you," the woman said eerily.
In any normal circumstance, you would have declined the offer, but you had already had so many new experiences you found yourself following her out the back.
"You're not one of us, are you?" she asked with a giggle of glee, pulling out a wooden stick from her pocket.
You didn't reply, watching as she brought it up and tapped some of the bricks on the wall. To your amazement, they then parted, presenting to you the most bustling and magical street that you had ever seen.
"Diagon Alley," she stated, "Although I prefer Knockturn Alley."
You thanked her, and hurried into the street.
***
The pet shops were strange: mostly having owls, cats and toads. The book shops were strange: having cages of moving books in the display windows. The clothes shops were strange: pretty much exclusively selling robes and pointed hats. All in all, Diagon Alley was the most eccentric place you had ever been.
There was a broomstick shop, a wand shop, and a place to buy cauldrons. You were so out of your depth that you decided you should focus on the task at hand.
It wasn't long before you found a bright and buzzing shop named Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, looking ten times more exciting than all the shops before it. You were almost overwhelmed with all the young people inside once you entered, and it finally became obvious to you that it was a joke shop. The numerous prank items on display were clearly enchanted in a way too, only furthering your amazement at this street.
You scanned around for a redhead, but it was really difficult to spot anything within the chaos. Eventually, you located a flash of red by the till and hurried over. The queue was unfortunately long, but you waited impatiently nonetheless.
When you finally reached the front, the red-haired man behind it looked at you, and you couldn't help but noticed he had two full ears.
"Are you buying anything, miss?"
"I'm looking for George Weasley," you said quickly.
He rose an eyebrow at you, "What for?"
"It's a long story, I really need to talk to him."
"I'll fetch him," he said, and disappeared out back for a few moments before returning with a man almost identical to him save for that all-too-familiar ear. He didn't look at you like he recognised you - maybe he drank so much he had memory loss too? That would make sense, considering he hadn't tried to find you either.
"Can I help you?" George Weasley asked, gesturing for you to move to the side so that his twin could continue at the till.
"This is gonna sound crazy, but," you took a deep breath, "You're my husband."
"You're right, that does sound crazy," he chuckled.
"You woke up in a hotel room a few months ago, right?"
His eyes widened, "I thought I hooked up with someone," he said, "Wasn't sure, though, because I woke up alone."
"Sorry about that. I don't really do hook-ups, I kinda freaked out and bolted."
"I don't really do hook-ups either," he shrugged, "No hard feelings."
"Anyway, as I said, it turns out we got married that night."
"Wow. I honestly can't remember anything."
"Me neither," you shook your head, "And we can't get an annulment - the cut off is three months. And we were way too efficient with sending off the marriage registration - we did it immediately."
He hummed, "That's quite a predicament. Divorce, then?"
You nodded, "Yes, obviously. But that will take ages, and I'm trying to buy a house for myself right now. I need you to sign off that you have no claim over it."
"That's no problem," thank God he was agreeable, "But what's your name?"
"Y/N L/N," you said, "Well, legally Y/N Weasley."
The man smirked at you, which admittedly made your stomach flip. Drunk you definitely had good taste: this man was gorgeous.
"Where's the house you're buying?" he asked.
"Godric's Hollow."
"Ah, my sister lives there," he hummed, "Nice village."
"Can I ask you a question - since you're my husband and all?" you didn't know why you added the last bit.
"Fire away."
"Why does everyone keep going on about muggles and wizards and witches and magic? I'm so lost, I don't know what's happening."
"Wait- you're a muggle?"
"As everyone apparently keeps saying."
He chuckled, "Oh, wow. My wife's a muggle."
"What does it mean?"
"I'll explain," he gestured towards the door to the back room, "But it'll be a lot to take in."
"I don't care, I just want an explanation."
And so, your husband, George Weasley, explained about the wizarding world that he was a part of. And how, by marrying him, you had automatically been granted permission by the Ministry of Magic to be an exception for all anti-muggle charms. Which was why you discovered the road to Godric's Hollow all of a sudden as a non-magic person, which you learned was what muggle meant.
At the very end of his explanation, you sat back in the armchair he had offered to you, "That explains so much. It's insane- but I'm relieved that it's not me going crazy."
"Must be quite a shock," he hummed, "I can't believe we got married. Are there any photos?"
"I mean, I suppose we could find the chapel we got married at and ask."
"Maybe it will trigger some memories of that night. I got drunkenly married - who knows what else I did?" he sighed.
"I don't know if I want to know."
George shrugged, "Better to find out that way than have a random woman come into your place of work and announce she's your wife."
You grimaced, making him laugh.
"I'm just teasing."
"Can I get your number? So I can contact you when I need to?" you asked.
George stared at you, "Number?"
"How do wizards and witches communicate?" you exasperated.
"By owl."
You blanked.
"You might want to get yourself one if you're moving into a wizarding village."
"How do they know where to go?"
"They just do."
You sighed.
***
"So, I phoned the chapel that we got married at and they confirmed that we signed the marriage registration and sent it off immediately," you said to George, taking a seat opposite him in your flat that you currently resided in, "They also posted this to me." You presented a large envelope to your husband and watched as he carefully opened it - even though it was already unsealed thanks to you.
He pulled out a marriage certificate: lettered in italic gold writing and clearly signed on the bottom two corners. As he pulled that out, another piece of card fluttered to the ground. You chewed your lip as you watched him pick it up.
"Wow," was all he said.
It was the same reaction you had when looking upon the photo of you and George at the alter: lips pressed together with smiles creeping on to your faces.
"We look so happy."
You hummed, "The photo hasn't triggered any memories for me."
You watched curiously as he waved it about. "It's weird that muggle photos don't move," he commented, "But- yeah- I can't remember anything more either."
"Maybe it's been too long," you reasoned, "Perhaps if we'd seen the photo the day after, it would've helped."
"Probably," he shrugged, "I can find a charm or potion that will help us remember - if you want to."
It hadn't occurred to you that magic was now a readily available tool.
"I'm not sure, to be honest," you said after a while, "I just really want to seal the deal on my house."
George nodded, "Of course, I'll sign the papers saying I have no right to it."
"Thank you for making this so easy," you said, giving him a warm grin, "When I found out I was married, I was so worried it was to a complete asshole."
"When I found out I was married, I thought it was simply a cute way a gorgeous woman had of flirting with me."
You felt heat rush to your cheeks at his comment. George was a stunning man: his damaged ear only added a rugged element to him, enhancing his beauty in a way that you didn't know possible.
He noticed your flustered reaction and chuckled a bit, "However, there is one problem with me signing those papers that your real estate agent really should've mentioned."
"What?" you filled with worry: that house was your dream house.
"If you're buying a house in the wizarding world, you're going to need a wizarding bank account."
"He kept going on about galleons," you thought for a moment, "But then he converted to pounds so I didn't think much of it."
George hummed, "Yes, but you're still going to need to pay in galleons."
"How do I get a wizarding bank account?"
"Only wizards, witches, squibs and muggles married to any of the former can access one. Oh, and muggles with magic children, even if they aren't married."
You realised what he was getting at. "So I can get one, but..."
"But it has to be a shared one with me."
You pulled your hands down your face, "But I love that house so much."
"I promise you I'm not trying to trap you."
"No, no- I get it. I just- that means I'd have to stay married to you until my mortgage is paid off. And that takes like thirty years."
"Even then, the bills would still need to be paid in galleons."
"Oh, fuck," you muttered, "Fuck, fuck, fuck."
George watched you in silence.
"I'm sorry. I'll divorce you and forget about the house," you said eventually, "It's not fair for me to force you to stay in a marriage for the rest of your life - I mean, I can't force you."
"I didn't say anything about that."
You frowned. In your mind, there was no other option.
"I'm willing to do it."
"George, it's just a house, you really don't need to-"
"I will," he reiterated, "You realise that if you divorce me, you won't be able to access the magic world anymore?"
It had become something you were so excited to explore that you were disheartened by that fact.
"It would be cruel for me to take it away from you, I think."
"But-"
"So, I will set you up on my bank account, sign off on the house, and stay married to you."
Your mouth was opened wide as you stared at him, and in a flash you had leaped across the coffee table in order to pull him into a hug.
"You're so amazing," you mumbled, hugging him tighter as he returned the embrace, "Thank you so much."
"Hey, anything for my wife," he chuckled.
Your heart stopped.
***
"I've had to change my name on my driver's license and passport and bank account and everything else," you sighed, "Such a hassle for a fucking house."
George, who was walking with you throughout the empty house that you had just officially bought, chuckled, as he seemed to enjoy doing, "You must really love this place."
You shrugged, "The house, I would probably get over. An entire magical world that I would lose access to? Not so much."
He hummed, gazing around the place. You had decided that he at least deserved to see the property that he had given up so much for you to own.
"I can't wait to begin decorating," you sighed, "I have big plans for the downstairs rooms and the master bedroom."
"What about the other bedrooms?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," you pondered, "I'll probably make one of them an office, but the other two, I honestly don't know. It'll be a while before I have any kiddly winks running around."
"How come?"
"I need to find a man to create them with first," you reminded, "And that will be especially complicated since I'm married."
"Not if it's with me."
You were pretty sure his words held a joking undertone, so you laughed.
"Well, I shan't keep you any longer," you said, "I guess we'll keep in touch?"
"Stop by my shop as much as you can," George replied, but you sensed a slight trace of sadness in his voice.
Nonetheless, you smiled, "Of course."
***
Was two days later too soon to take George up on his offer of stopping by? Maybe, but life was too short for you to not do the things that you wanted to do. Plus, you were exhausted from moving furniture and painting (since you were stuck doing it the 'muggle' way), so a getaway from your new home was needed.
After getting someone from the Leaky Cauldron to let you into Diagon Alley, you made your way down to the corner that Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes sat on. You couldn't help the fond smile that tugged on your lips as you pushed open the door and heard the tinkle of the bell above you. The last time you were there, you had been too nervous about meeting your husband to properly appreciate the joyful buzz of the shop; it was truly a marvel to witness. You wish you had grown up with access to such extraordinary things.
"Hello," a redhead popped up beside you.
You jumped a little, not failing to notice the fact this man, although initially appearing to be George, had two full ears.
"Hello... Fred?" you attempted to recall his name.
He nodded, "I must say, I wasn't expecting my sister-in-law to pop by today."
It hadn't occurred to you that George would have mentioned his marriage to his twin brother, but now it seemed obvious that he would have.
"Is my husband here?" you asked, adding a joking undertone. Nonetheless, you couldn't help but notice how warm saying that made you feel.
"Of course, he's out back."
"Should I...?" you trailed off.
"You don't need to ask permission to go out back," he chuckled, in a strikingly similar way to George, "You're married to one of the owners."
"Yeah, but-" but before you could finish your sentence, your brother-in-law had disappeared. With a sigh, you proceeded on your way to the staff-only space, unable to push aside how special you felt being able to freely enter the area.
It was only when you caught sight of George's back did you realise that you had nothing to say and had simply stopped by.
"Y/N!" he smiled, turning around upon sensing your presence, "What brings you here?"
You shrugged, "You said to stop by often."
His grin stretched wider, "That I did, I'm glad to see you."
You felt shy after hearing him say that, and avoided eye contact.
"How's moving in going?"
"Oh- well. Exhausting, though," you sighed.
"I can't imagine having to do everything without magic," he said, "If you want any help to speed up the process, I'm more than willing."
You shook your head, "You've done enough for me."
"I could never do enough for you," he half-mumbled, but you heard it. You couldn't believe it, but you heard it. "I'm free this weekend," he said at a more regular volume.
"I mean- if you're sure-"
"Of course I'm sure."
"I-" you stopped yourself, "Thank you, George."
"Georgie!" a voice called from the front of the shop, not long before a short plump woman appeared in the doorway. "There you are," she said with hands on her hips.
"Oh, hi, mum," he said, "I wasn't expecting you."
"I was just in town looking to pick up your father a new shirt - I don't know how he wears them out so quickly!" she sighed, "I thought I'd take the chance to invite you over for a roast on Sunday."
You smiled at the evidently kind woman.
"And who is this?" she asked.
"This is Y/N."
"How did you two meet?" this time she had a glint in her eye.
"Uh, funny story, actually," George scratched the back of his head, "We're married."
You were surprised at his honesty with his mother.
The woman's eyes widened, "And you didn't tell me!"
"No one knew, mum- not even us," he quickly added.
She seemed to ignore what the last part of his statement implied, and swooped you into her arms, "Welcome to the family, my dear, we have a lot of time to make up for! You'll be coming on Sunday too, yes?"
She didn't give you a chance to reply.
"I'll have to tell your father immediately - do all your siblings know? I expect Fred does. Probably Ron too." She paused, "I haven't even introduced myself! Molly Weasley - call me Molly, of course."
"Mum-"
"Godric- I have so many people to tell! I'll see you both Sunday at four o'clock, please don't be late."
And with a hug to both of you, Molly Weasley departed just as rapidly as she had arrived.
"I'm sorry about that- my mum can be very full on," George apologised.
"I think she's sweet."
A soft smile graced his face, "Yes, she's a very lovely woman."
You hummed.
"I'll get you out of the dinner."
You frowned, "Why?"
"Well, my family will think you're- well-"
With a shrug, you replied, "I don't mind."
"I have a big family."
"I know."
"Most of them are quite loud people."
"That's okay."
"They'll ask a lot of questions."
"George, I want to meet your family," you realised as soon as you said them what your words could potentially mean.
"It's just- I- I don't want them to scare you away."
"Scare me away?"
He nodded.
You chuckled, "I'd like to see them try."
***
Sunday rolled around quickly, and as promised, George showed up at your house to pick you up at five to four. You figured that his parents must live very nearby if he was picking you up so late, but you hadn't given it much thought. All you had done was focused on yourself, dressing up what you deemed the adequate amount for a family event.
A knock sounded on the door, and you quickly rushed to open it, smiling when you were faced with the red headed man that you could call your husband. He was wearing a knitted jumper and baggy jeans, which was a relief to you since you also sported a knitted jumper, just with a skirt instead.
"Hello," you said, almost shyly.
"Hey," he replied, "You ready to go?"
"Yep, let me just-" you hurried back inside to grab the bouquet of flowers that you had bought for his mother, you weren't familiar with the guidelines for meeting family as you had never been in a relationship long enough to reach that stage, but flowers had felt like the right thing.
"Oh, for me?" he said teasingly.
You shook your head, dramatically holding them away from him, "You would be so lucky."
He chuckled, "Right, let's get going," he held out his arm for you to take, "You're gonna want to hold tight."
You frowned, but took his advice nonetheless, taking a firm grip of his bicep which had a hardness that made your heart flip. But before you could dwell on that thought, you felt like you had been sucked into a vacuum and spat out again in a split second. Your stomach cramped up and you felt nauseous as you fell on to grass in a completely new location.
"Sorry, that often happens the first time," George quickly helped you up along with the flowers, which thankfully were unharmed.
"Did we just- teleport?" you asked, holding your stomach. Thankfully, the nausea was already dissipating.
"We call it apparating but yes, we did."
"Why couldn't I be born a witch?" you whined, following George as he began walking up the path ahead of you.
You could only be amazed when the strangest house that you had ever seen came into view: looking like it should tumble over instantly with the mismatched extensions stacked on top of each other. Not too long ago, you would have been worried about its sketchy looking state, but now you immediately concluded that it was kept steady by magic. Even at the distance you still were from the house, you could hear a lot of noise coming from it.
"I bet you anything Fleur and Hermione insisted on being early," George grumbled, "Making my brothers look like angelic sons."
You smiled to yourself: his relationship with his siblings was making you want to reach out to your sister.
George didn't bother knocking when you reached the door, simply throwing it open and grinning at everyone who was stood around the kitchen. You couldn't help but feel some level of nerves as you were faced with so many strangers.
"George! Y/N!" Molly beamed, pulling you both into a hug, "I'm so glad that you could make it."
You presented the flowers to her, "I got you these."
"Oh, they're gorgeous!"
You watched as she pulled out her wand and arranged them in a vase without even using her hands. You didn't think observing magic would ever get old.
"Thank you, dear," she said, before turning to the others in the room. There was Ron, who you vaguely recognised from the shop, with a curly brown-haired woman on his side. Then there was the most ethereal woman that you had ever seen next to one of the more rugged looking men that you had seen in your time. There was also an older, balding, red headed man, who you suspected to be George's father.
"Y/N, you might remember Ron here," George said, and you nodded, "And this is his fiancée, Hermione. This is my dad, and over there is my oldest brother, Bill, and his wife, Fleur."
"Our little shit of a son is running around here somewhere," Bill added.
"Pleasure to meet you, Y/N," George's father shook your hand, "You can call me Arthur."
"I didn't realise you were bringing a guest, George," Hermione said.
"Oh, she's no guest," Molly smiled, "She's family."
The only person who didn't exchange confused glances was Ron.
"I'm his, uh, wife," you said, feeling awkward. You didn't really want to say it, because it felt like you were lying to them even though you weren't.
What followed was an array of congratulations, and Hermione accusing Ron of not telling her when he clearly already knew. And then, upon being asked, you both finally revealed that it was an accidental marriage upon which you were both very drunk. Molly was new to this news as well, but nonetheless, before you could give any more detail on where your 'relationship' with George currently stood, she spoke.
"As irresponsible as that was, I think there's something beautiful in the fact that you're now happily married."
While you weren't unhappily married, you didn't know how to say that you didn't know you were married until a couple months later, and that you weren't in a relationship with George. He said nothing to clarify, either.
That was when a small boy tumbled into the room.
"Ah, zis is Victoire," Fleur said, "Our son."
He was just as red headed as his father.
God, your kids with George would probably end up redheaded.
You internally froze at that thought - why had it seemed so natural to imagine yourself having kids with George?
You were yet again distracted from your mind, as seemed common in the Weasley household, when more people arrived. It was Fred and his fiancée, Angelina, as you soon learned. Shortly followed by Harry Potter, allegedly quite a celebrity, who was dating George's only sister, Ginny.
The only person to arrive alone was Percy, who had a much less chaotic energy than the rest of his siblings.
"You'll meet Charlie at some point," Molly said to you, "But he lives in Romania for his work with dragons."
It was insane to you that George had five brothers and one sister; having six siblings seemed like such a hectic upbringing. That thought almost led you to brush over Molly's mention of dragons - dragons?
Once again, you were introduced as George's wife, solidifying you in their eyes as a sister-in-law. These were your in-laws, you realised.
"Dinner's almost ready," Molly announced over the noise of all the people.
Many people rushed forward to help the woman with the finishing touches and laying the table, and you felt like an ass for not assisting as well, but you would have been of no help. They were all using magic, which was ten times faster than you could complete any task.
"What year did you graduate school? I can't remember you," Ginny said, evidently assuming that her lack of recognition was because you had been in a different year at Hogwarts from her. George had told you how most witches and wizards in a similar age group knew each other because of there only being one magic school in the country.
"I didn't go to Hogwarts," you said.
"Oh, did you study abroad?" she asked, walking over to the table with you.
"No, uh, I'm a- I'm a muggle."
Her eyes widened in realisation, "Oh! I see," she hummed, "That makes sense now that I think about it."
"You're a muggle?" Hermione, who had overheard, said.
You nodded.
"I'm muggle-born," she said, "I was raised muggle."
"I was raised muggle too," Harry added on, "But I'm not muggle-born."
After that point, Arthur Weasley kept posing an array of questions to you, explaining that he was fascinated by muggles, and it was even what had led him to having the job that he did. Wanting to be liked, you answered all his questions as best as you could, and found his childlike curiosity quite endearing.
"Leave the poor girl alone, Arthur," Molly scolded her husband.
"I don't mind," you replied, and, really, you didn't.
The food was absolutely delicious, to the point you almost moaned when you first put it in your mouth. You didn't think you had ever eaten such delectable food before, and you made sure that Molly knew.
Once the first course was finished and dessert was being brought out, Bill and Fleur stood up.
"We have an announcement to make," the latter smiled, looking to her husband.
"Fleur's pregnant," Bill grinned, placing his hand on her abdomen.
"Oh, that's wonderful news!" Molly exclaimed, "How far along?"
"Twelve weeks, two days ago," Fleur said, "In ze clear zone, as zey say."
"We don't know the gender yet," Bill added.
"For your sake I hope it's a girl," Molly sighed, "It took me six tries."
"We will be happy eizer way," Fleur said simply.
You couldn't help but get the sense there was some level of tension between her and Molly, so you leaned over to George as everyone began chatting again, congratulating the expecting couple.
"Do your mum and Fleur get along?" you whispered.
"Well, yes, but they haven't always," he whispered back, "My mum thought she was vain at first, even thinking that she would call off the wedding when Bill got that scar." He was referring to the large mark on his eldest brother's face.
You hummed.
"They've mostly resolved their problems now, but I think there will always be a bit of tension."
After dinner, you wandered around the home, observing all the moving pictures of the family.
"Aw, you were so cute back then," you said to George, looking at a photo of him as a toddler on a mini broomstick.
"Are you saying I'm not anymore?"
You shrugged.
"And how do you know that's me and not Fred?"
"You may be a twin, but there's only one of you, George," you said in passing, not realising how much those words meant to your husband. As much as he loved being an identical twin, there were times where he didn't want to be seen as part of a package deal. Even his mother struggled to tell him and Fred apart before his ear injury, but you- you could recognise him instantly.
Your gaze moved up the wall.
"That's an interesting clock."
It didn't tell the time, but instead had a hand for all of Molly and Arthur's brood, all currently pointing in the direction of 'home' apart from who must be Charlie, which pointed at work.
"Even on Sundays, he works," George sighed, "You know, there was a time where me and Fred had the same hand."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but after he moved in with Angelina, mum had it altered."
Your eyes flicked over the 'mortal peril' section of the clock, and you didn't realise you had read it aloud til he responded.
"Thankfully that hasn't served a purpose since the war."
It was unbelievable to you that such a life-changing war had happened while you remained completely oblivious.
"I suppose we'll have to expand the guest list for our wedding," Angelina approached you, making you turn away from the clock.
"Oh, you don't have to do that," you said.
"No, no. An extra person is hardly anything," she smiled, "You're family, of course you're coming."
Family.
"Well, thank you."
"Of course."
***
As you and George said your goodbyes and departed, you couldn't help but let out an elated sigh, "Your family is so warm."
He smiled, "I'm glad you like them."
"They're like, everything I want my in-laws to be."
"Really?"
"Yeah! Loud, happy, there for each other - with the slightest hint of drama, of course. They're perfect."
"We've been through a lot together."
"Yeah, I expect so."
You both fell into a comfortable silence, one that had you feeling content with your life in the most heart-warming way.
"You ready to apparate again?" George broke the silence when you reached the end of the path.
"As ready as I'll ever be," you grasped his arm tightly, prepping yourself for what was to come.
You didn't fall to the ground this time when you appeared outside your house, but you did still feel nauseous for a few moments.
"I'm really glad you came," George said.
"I'm glad too," you smiled.
And then there was silence - tension-filled silence. The kind of silence that led up to what you had secretly hoped would happen this entire time.
His lips on yours.
You moved your hands up to his hair as the kiss got more heated, flashes of memories dancing through your brain.
You met at the bar your cousin's bachelorette party was at, and began chatting. He was charming, and funny, and you were both really drunk. You went on a walk together - you walked past a chapel.
You had suggested getting married - jokingly, but he had then said.
"Why don't we?"
And so you did, giggling and laughing the entire time, even when you kissed. The kiss held the same magical feeling as it did now, that's what had triggered the memory.
He had kissed all along your jaw and neck as you both filled out the forms, and it wasn't long before you both booked a hotel and by all technical terms, consummated.
"I remember," you parted from him breathlessly, only to kiss him again.
"Me too," he mumbled, pushing you back against your front door.
"Do you want to come in?" you asked.
***
This time, you were the one to wake up alone in bed, but that wasn't the only difference. You remembered every single moment and sensation from the night before - and from your wedding night, for that matter. A smile almost crept on to your face, but it dropped when the panic set in that George had upped and left like you had before. You scrambled out of bed, pulling a shirt and some pants on, and then rushed down the stairs to see if he was anywhere in your house.
And he was.
There your husband was, in the kitchen, cooking a full English breakfast - using magic, of course. You had electric appliances installed when you moved in, since most magic homes didn't generally possess them, but with George there, you supposed they weren't really necessary.
"Hey, love."
Love. That's what he had called you all of last night and your wedding night.
It made heat travel to your ears.
"Hi," you replied shyly.
"Take a seat, I'm almost finished."
You obeyed, deciding to let the wizard take care of you, even though he really had done too much for you ever since you met him - the second time, that was.
Your dining table was a temporary one, as your entire home was still a work in progress: it wasn't easy decorating an entire house by yourself, especially without the assistance of magic. Nevertheless, it did the job. George came over with the food and sat opposite you, gesturing for you to dig in.
"Thank you," you smiled, picking up the cutlery.
"I told you, anything for you."
"You're too perfect," you mumbled, making George chuckle.
"My ear may be injured, but my hearing's fine."
You looked up at him to make eye contact, feeling like he could read you with his gaze, "Your ear makes you even more perfect."
"I'm glad you think so, would be a bit upsetting for me if you didn't."
"I aim to please," you grinned.
***
"You didn't tell me the wedding would be quite so soon," you huffed, straightening out the pastel pink dress you adorned in the mirror.
George shrugged, tightening his tie, "Didn't think about it."
You were, of course, in reference to Angelina and Fred's wedding, merely two weeks after the dinner in which you met the former. Out of all the moving boxes you still had left to unpack, you had been forced to dig for a suitable outfit that fitted the colour scheme.
Aside from work, you and George had been practically glued at the hip in the days since he first stayed at yours - and he had been consistently staying at yours ever since. He had probably spent about three nights total at his own flat in that time span. So much to the point that when he came over the day prior, he had brought his suit for the wedding with him, fully anticipating that he would be spending the night.
You hadn't put a label on what you currently were, other than legally married, as it was.
"We have to be early," he said, "Since I'm the best man."
"I'm aware," you replied, sitting on the edge of your bed to pull your shoes on, "I'm pretty much ready."
"Alright, let's go."
***
The ceremony was a beautiful occasion: held at the Weasley house, The Burrow. The entire garden was decorated beautifully in shades of pink, purple and white, with bouquets of flowers adorning every table and chair. Obviously, a drastic difference from your own wedding.
You were sat in the crowd while George was up near the altar with the maid of honour, but he was not your focus. Angelina was a transcendent bride.
When it came to the meal, you were - to your shock - sat on the primary table where the newly weds were. You supposed that it made sense, since George was obviously going to be sat by his twin brother, and you were his wife. Generally, married couples weren't separated at events. You were certainly relieved, since you hardly knew anybody else.
The only other people on the main table were Molly, Arthur, Angelina's parents, and Angelina's maid of honour and her partner. There was a second table for the rest of the Weasley siblings and their partners, and so on and so forth for more distant relatives and friends.
Once the toasts were made, the meal commenced, and you hadn't realised how hungry you were 'til that moment.
"Slow down, love," your husband commented, "I'd prefer if you didn't choke."
You shrugged, your mouth full. Once you had eventually swallowed, you said, "Much grander event than our wedding."
"We could always renew our vows," he said, and even though he had made many comments about wanting to do anything for you, and had done many intimate things to you in the bedroom (and elsewhere in your house, for that matter), it felt like the first real confirmation that you were in a relationship. Even more, that you weren't just in a marriage out of convenience, but instead because you simply wanted to be.
You parted your mouth to reply, when some children from Angelina's side began causing chaos by running around. "Lord, our kids better behave," you muttered.
George turned to look at you, and it was then that you became aware of what you had said.
"Our kids?" he was grinning.
"Shut up," you mumbled.
"Never - just let me know when you want to start, love," he winked at you.
"A bit too soon, I think."
He shrugged, "We got married within a few hours of knowing each other."
"We were drunk."
"We can get drunk again."
You sighed, "We don't even live together."
"I can move in."
You didn't have anymore rebuttals.
"Are you out of arguments now?" he asked.
You reluctantly nodded.
"Perfect."
***
Instead of apparating directly to your house, you and George decided to take a late night walk around Godric's Hollow. It was such a pretty village, and you had yet to appreciate its beauty in the dark, with all the magical lamps glowing around you. But, you knew that you and George needed to have a conversation, especially after the kids talk from earlier.
"Are we together?" you asked him, even though your interlocked hands should have answered the question.
"We're married, love."
"Yes, but are we together?"
"I'd like to think we are - do you?"
You remained silent for a few moments, before nodding and looking at him in the darkness of the night.
"Then there you have it."
"I just don't get why."
"Why what?"
"Why you've done so much for me when you hardly knew me."
George chuckled, "I admit, I don't know exactly when I made the decision to do anything for you, but when you strutted into my shop, determined as ever, and announced that you were my wife, I just-" he paused, squeezing your hand, "You looked so cute and I knew- in that moment- that I would never meet someone else like you."
You felt like you were melting on the spot.
"It may have seemed selfless that I helped you get the house - but, to be honest, it was the perfect excuse for me to trap you to me- make it easier for me to pursue you, that is."
"I love you, George," you sighed.
"I'm glad, because I've loved you for quite some time now."
"Love at first sight?"
"You would be so lucky."
You let out a childish giggle at that.
"But, yes, I think it was."
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masterlist
written; 18/08/2023 —> 03/09/2023 published;04/09/2023 edited; —/—/——
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