#honestly i understand where the kaeya and diluc people come from. but only initially | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cinnamonest · 3 years

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Kaeya is really touchy with his darling, right? So then,, what are the other Yan’s love languages?

NICE I love the love languages stuff! Sorry this was from April but I'm finally getting to it! Usually the two are similar, but sometimes people have different ways of expressing love versus how they want to receive it, so I'll elaborate on that as well. Enjoy my rareish semi-fluffy stuff, boys and which of the 5 love languages they are :3 Kazuha - quality time

Honestly, he's a simple boy. All he really needs to be happy and feel mutual love is sit with you close to him, arms wrapped around you, preferably with you returning the gesture. He has a lot of feelings and fears for the future, lots of emotions all bottled up, so someone to listen to him means a lot. Taking the time to listen to all he has to say makes him sheepish and embarrassed even, but as long as you assure him it's ok, he'll keep coming back for more of your listening ears.

Also, he likes to go on walks. These can be talking or not, sometimes he just likes walking in silence. Either way, accompanying him on said walks is a way to endear yourself to him and show him you love him. Sometimes it's just silently walking down beaches or pathways or in circles around the ship deck, sometimes it's him venting, sometimes it's him gushing about this or that... either way, basically providing him with an outlet for his emotions and spending time with him is what matters.

Zhongli - gifts, quality time

Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness he's big on spoiling a darling. I mean let's be real it's probably someone else's money OR this is in an era where he could just make some, so he will literally get you anything you could ask for, hell, anything he sees you looking at, tons of things you have no use for but he just likes the way your eyes light up all the same. It makes you happy, and that's what love is about, right? Wanting to make people you love happy.

However, for himself, it's a quality time thing, similar to Kazuha's where it's a lot of listening. He has a lot to say sometimes and can get to rambling about details of this or that thing he somehow manages to be an expert on, and while he usually catches himself early on, sometimes he can REALLY go on a while. He knows you don't have any clue what he's talking about, and probably don't really care, but if you sudden bring up a detail that shows you were listening -- it makes him feel oddly warm inside, like you actually think what he talks about is important and care about it. It makes him chuckle a bit, pat your head. He tells you if you're bored you don't have to listen.... so if you insist on doing so anyway, well, that just makes him feel even better inside, oddly validated in a way.

Kaeya - words of affirmation, touch

Is sex a love language?

But in all seriousness, yes as per the opening of the ask, he's very touchy. By 'touch' in this case, that... does translate to sex about 90% of the time. Can you blame him?? It's because he loves you! If he didn't love you he wouldn't wanna get his dick in you so bad! It's love that makes him so handsy and touchy, always rubbing you and running the edges of his fingers under your shirts and skirts and shorts even in public, hands wrapping around your waist and hips, sneaking fondles here and there... and it's out of love that you get railed all the time. His peak happiness is just being balls deep inside you, bodies pressed up against each other, moving slow and gentle and gradually building up... and he wants you to feel like that's love, too. To be honest he gets genuinely sad if you don't see it that way, or if you don't understand it as an expression of love. It seems so natural and innate that being pressed up close together should invoke feelings of love, right?

As for how he understands love as a recipient, well, pretty much the same thing, any sign of eagerness or willingness or especially initiative to fuck sets his brain off. But also, he's weak to any attempts to boost his ego. Say anything positive about him and he'll get excited and let it go to his head, particularly if your words of choice make him feel strong or powerful or capable.

Also speaking of touch, surprisingly big on handholding, especially in public. Sure part of it is a "signaling to others to back off" sort of thing, but he just likes the warmth of your hand as well.

Diluc - touch

It might be a bit surprising, given the stoic nature but... just give this man a hug. Please.

Being inside you is very very nice of course, but he's also notably a cuddly person when you get past the rough exterior. He likes to just sit you in his lap and hold you, spoon you in bed at night, etc.

And as for giving, he doesn't really have knowledge of how to go about other things. He's not good with words at all, he doesn't really know what gifts to get, and despite his affection he's not really submissive enough of a person to go about acts of service, and he's very busy, so while he might get quality time, it's not too often. In the end he doesn't really know how to do anything else, so if he really wants to express affection, the only way he can really think of is just wrapping his arms around you and squeezing. Sometimes a little too hard, like sir I'm asphyxiating please

Also it takes him a while to work up to it. At first he's just too nervous and can barely touch you without retracting his hand back out of nervousness, but he gets used to it.

Razor - quality time, touch

The others are kind of foreign concepts, really. But touch and time is how his kind bond! It's what he's used to. Nuzzling his face into your shoulders and neck and wrapping arms around you and holding you tight. He will often just cling to you physically in some way, holding your wrist in his hand or reaching out to embrace you at random. Of course, sex is a part of it, gotta have that too, it means love to him because he gets the urge whenever he thinks about loving you! And not gonna lie, he tries to remember you don't really like it but, he'll lick you every now and then too. It just comes naturally because he gets excited 'cause he loves you so much!! Lick lick.

Quality time comes in many forms. Every second is quality time in its own way, but especially naps in the sun and walks through the woods. Fun fact: wolf mates go on little "walks" together occasionally, breaking off from the rest of the pack to get alone time. It's fun! You can run through the woods with him! The naps combine the two expressions of touch and time, getting to spend lots of quiet, valuable time, all while snuggled up close. It's nice.

He doesn't really understand if you try to communicate love otherwise, but he'll kind of grasp that it's nice. But really, in the end he wants touch and time too. It's the only form he really understands. The rest just leave him a bit "??" But a nuzzle and a nap in the sun are things he understands perfectly.

Xingqiu - gifts, words of affirmation

The first is more how he shows, the second how he receives. It's a rather selfish form of love, really, because it benefits him as well and it's not exactly difficult. He doesn't have to put a lot of work into gifting, since he can pretty much get anything he asks for out of his father, and even if he says no to something, well, father won't notice a few hundred thousand mora gone from the stash of money kept in his bedroom, right? And he loves giving you gifts because of your reaction! You smile and say thank you and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside... and he likes to think that maybe you feel indebted to him, maybe you're awed and impressed by how he manages to find you such expensive and rare things, maybe it makes you look up to him and see him as superior a bit. Hopefully.

However, because he's got so much wealth already, so gifts don't really do much for him. He responds well to praise, though, especially if you compliment him on the things he cares about, like his sword skills, his writing, his vigilantism. Make him feel like the protagonist he is inside his head, and he'll be beaming with pride and happiness, it makes him feel important, which translates to feeling loved.

Chongyun - quality time, acts of service

In particular, he likes to have you around when he's training. You don't have to train yourself, just be by his side. It makes him more motivated, so he's noticed. Not to mention, he likes showing off if possible to impress you.

Also, he likes having someone to vent to. He's a sweet boy, but he has his stressors and frustrations. He's used to strict self-discipline and normally refrains from talking about his feelings too much, but if you make him feel like your presence is a safe place for him to come to, he will end up almost becoming dependent on getting to emotionally unload on you every day, recalling all the details of every bad thing that happened and waiting for your soft comfort.

Here, "acts of service" is more like... consideration. Little moments where he's reminded you remember his needs and care about them. You make food and note that you made it especially free of anything hot, just for him! Or you make his little popsicles when he forgets, you help him deal with the damage and destruction of his most recent episode. Little acts like that make him feel appreciated, loved and cared for.

Childe - acts of service

Similar to Kaeya and touch, acts of service is... yeah it's basically sex. It falls more into the category of acts of service because it's a little different in nature from Kaeya's -- he loves normal sex of course, and cuddles are nice too, but in his mind really loving him is about taking initiative and doing things to him... in other words, to translate that in simple terms... blow him. Please. It would make him the happiest man in the world. Or ride him. Just anything that feels like you taking some initiative and making him feel wanted. ...And making him feel worshipped is nice too, getting you down on your knees in front of him or any act of service and submission gives him a sort of high from the ego boost and masculine validation.

And he's similar with how he expresses it himself. Most likely candidate to eat you out against your will. One infuriating and potentially humiliating thing about him is he's one of the most insistent to ensure you cum every single time, if you don't cum from him fucking you he'll just force your legs open and eat you out or shove his fingers into you until you do. Because he loves you and orgasms equate to love in his mind.

Venti - acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts

It's more on the giving end for him -- specifically, he can be a very sappy individual when he's in love, to a point it's nauseating to the people around you, really. But he spends a lot of time writing you poems and songs. To him, song is one of the utmost powerful expressions of love. It sort of combines the service and words -- the writing itself is a labor of love, but the words are filled with praises. He genuinely spends a lot of time on it, though, and it's really important to him that you like the things he makes and plays for you, and will continuously modify his next pieces to what he perceives as your taste. He's a bit of a perfectionist on stuff like that.

Venti is actually rather shy when it comes to receiving love. He tends to be very no, you don't have to do that for me! And things like gifts can make him feel a bit guilty, so... you just have to give him stuff he likes so much he's too busy indulging to feel guilt. Namely alcohol. He gets a bit red in the face, but, deep down he likes words of affirmation and compliments too, even the lightest of sweet words he'll replay in his head over and over for days after you say them.

Bennett - acts of service

One of the quickest ways to endear yourself to him is the simple act of helping him. This can manifest in several ways, such as healing his wounds when he's all scraped up or just come back from an adventure, helping him patch up his clothes that get ripped so much, helping him find some thing he lost in the woods yet again, or following him on one of said adventures. People don't really have him in mind too often, he tends to get forgotten a lot and left to handle things all on his own, and as a result, someone who reaches out to help him has a significant impact on him, he finds himself unable to stop thinking about it and the warm feeling it gives him to know that someone cares.

As a result, he starts basically mimicking the same behaviors because it's all he really knows how to do. He wants to give you the same warm happiness that you give him, so he tries to help you out with the things you need, complete tasks he knows would be helpful to you. Unfortunately for him, this tends to backfire as something usually goes wrong and it turns into a mess that he fears will just make you hate him. Poor baby.

Albedo - quality time

He's one of those people that really loves to just spend time in the presence of the people he loves -- you don't have to be doing something together, or the same thing. Even if you're just reading a book or drawing or something on your own, he likes you to be nearby him. It's kinda cute how if you go wandering off or go into another room, he'll wait a minute, then silently kinda come peeking around the corner to check on you because?? Why did you leave? Did he do something to upset you? He's too proud to explicitly ask you to come back, but he might blatantly follow you to the room you're in, claiming it's just better lighting in here, or the other room was too cold, or some other excuse.

He still likes doing things with you, though, too. Another favorite is late night conversations, the kind you get into once you're already laying in bed in the dark, pressed against each other and mumbling little thoughts that occur to you before you drift off to sleep, questions about tomorrow, or a hey remind me to do this or that, that sort of thing. Little conversations you never really finish, your voices get softer and sleepier with each moment, you eventually close your eyes as you talk back and forth, until one of you eventually doesn't get a response, and then drifts off themselves.... and in the morning neither of you remember who was the last person to speak or what the conversation was even about in the end.

Xiao - touch

He just doesn't... get much else. Words are hard. He doesn't know whether this or that gift or gesture is considered appropriate to present to a human as sign of love, and those kinds of things, words and gifts and stuff, embarrass him too much... and he doesn't every really know whether or not he's correct when interpreting your actions and words either. How does he know the gift isn't just because you wanted to be nice, or that the nice things you said were just meant mildly, and he's just indulging in wishful thinking when he thinks it means more? Ugh. It's too troublesome to have to deal with.

But touch... it's straightforward and easy and impossible to misunderstand. And it's also objectively the best, he thinks, even without the issues in understanding it's just what he feels the most natural urge towards. Why would anyone do any differently? Why do humans waste their time giving each other gifts and compliments and stuff when they could just do the thing that feels so much better than that other stuff? It confuses him. He doesn't want material goods, he just wants to cuddle you and put his dick in you. Yeah it... also translates to sex here, similar to Kaeya. Like, he likes it when you kiss his forehead and snuggle up close, but those things will inevitably result in wanting more. And he loves the rests you two take, half-asleep soundly wrapped up and bodies pressed close, spooning with his arms latched onto you. It's just that said rests/naps are almost always very much naked due to being after cumming in you a few times.

Scaramouche - acts of service, words of affirmation, touch

I mean, you're kinda forced into the acts of service thing, but the idea is that you start to perform said acts willingly, or without needing to be commanded. Eventually you get to where you do things on your own initiative, and he likes to think maybe you just want to (and not because you've been beaten into doing it so many times it's become instinctive, definitely not that). A lot of it is just tasks, but similar to Childe's acts of service, it's definitely a sex thing too, wants you to show initiative and do things on your own -- not that you won't likely get told not to do shit like that without permission, but he still does like it, internally.

Words of praise are similar. Say anything nice about him and he'll probably accuse you of lying or trying to manipulate him/get something, but deep down he kinda thrives on anything positive you have to say or think about him. Not that you'd ever know.

As for how he actually shows love, well... does... he...? Yes actually, primarily it's a touch thing. Not always pleasant touches, but touches. It's similar to how other yans equate different things with love, like Childe sees orgasms as a form of love, to him possession is the utmost expression of "love" in the sense that he perceives it. Possession, to own a thing completely and entirely, to have full power over something... that sort of connection is incredibly intimate, when you think about it. It's a connection on a deep level, it's loving. So anything that expresses possession -- pleasant or unpleasant for you -- is thus an expression of love.

#lena's asks #atml #scheduled post

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husbandohunter · 3 years

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Mermaids exist in stardew, yes? So imagine a mermaid farmer for Zhongli, Kaeya and Diluc it could be in Yandere setting or not. I just wanna know their reaction when they found out and how it’ll effect their relationship. Will it brew angst, love, or both

Part of your world [Genshin x Mermaid!Reader]{Stardew Impact series}

Synopsis: You came from the sea and he takes you through a journey of what it was like to live on land despite your differences.

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

"I threw in Childe because I had an idea for him xD It's fluff month so everything is going to be happy from now on >.>"

=============================

{Diluc}

It was a hot summer day when Diluc first found you lying unconscious ashore. You had just swam far and wide from the ocean world, the climate deemed unideal for your case. With no one else around, he took the initiative to help you out of your situation.

He shortly found out by the slight appearances of scales gracing your legs that you were neither a human or someone coming from the town nearby. As legendary as mermaids are, Diluc wanted nothing to do with you. His beginning plan was to find your relatives and send you out of his house (Additional work isn’t welcomed when he has so much already). However, you latched onto him pretty quickly since he was the one who saved you.

Here stands a human, a creature that you always wanted to interact with, in your perspective he may look a little stern but he must have plenty of knowledge to offer based on all the antiques he owns.

The only problem was that you two had no way to communicate. Different worlds meant different languages. Whenever Diluc told you that you couldn’t stay, all you did was tilt your head and whenever you tried expressing what you wanted to say, well, normally bubbles would come out of your mouth since they were an indication for your words.

He gave up on trying to kick you out and simply allowed you to take residence as long as you stayed out of his workaholic life. You would tend to his farm while he was absent on other matters and feeding animals in the barn (a lot to do but a win-win situation now that you were able to discover what it was like to live on land at the same time). Though you were also a handful, most of the time Diluc had to excuse himself from his desk when you thought the rake was some sort of hair brush and he forbade you from using the bulldozer. Quite honestly you caused him a lot of stress. He spent most of his hours teaching you and before he knew, it was already a habit of his.

The only words you knew were three words. If you wanted to eat you would say ‘fish’. If you were thirsty, you would say ‘water’. If it was anything else, you would say ‘Diluc.’

He allows you to take long baths since he knows how hydrated mermaids must stay at all times. Orders a pool to be built in his front yard (at least this way helps him save his costly electricity bills). Diluc also borrows books from the library museum for you to read, anything that you would find interesting, (mostly they were about alphabets and picture-based stories (it felt like he was raising a child).)

Easily gets worried when you step into town with him, he keeps a watchful eye in case you collapse and extra bottles when you need a drink. Most of the time, he had to keep an eye on you since you had the natural instinct to waltz into whatever interested you, such as dancing in annual festivities (which you dragged him along of course). It was how he grew attached to your presence because you truly knew how to appreciate the world around you when he himself was too busy to do so.

Two worlds merged and he was learning how to live in yours too, how you perceive things. Building sandcastles, collecting seashells, listening to the echoes resounding within them. Activities he thought were unnecessary suddenly gained the meaning he had lost long ago. Diluc grew too fast at maximum speed, trying to get as many things done as he could, until he was pulled back by the emotional waves of your kindness and compassion, onto the shore he failed to live on. How ironic reality can be.

{Childe}

Everyone knew how much Childe loved to fish. He sets out at sea every evening to capture a batch of flounders, hopefully stumbling upon a legendary one.

In a way, he did. Just not what he expected. What he pulled out of the waters seemed to be a human-sized fish sitting upon the other residues caught in between. ‘A mermaid…?’ he thought, still digesting the fact in front of him. (No wonder the net felt so heavy).

At the same time he wanted to take you with and sell you for a good price but knew how mad Tonia would get when she found out. So he lets you go free. The thing is, you swam behind his boat and followed him back to land. This was how your relationship with Childe started, to this day he continues to jest upon that memory.

Tonia took most of the responsibility to coach you about human life. One of them was table etiquette, before you ate with only your hands which caused a mess. Childe would laugh hysterically at it until Tonia reminded him, “This is also what happens when you use chopsticks, big brother.”

Teucer invites you to basically anything since you have so much patience. Childe shortly realizes that he was soon going to be replaced as the eldest caretaker and you couldn’t even talk at that time. So it was only fair that he included himself in the circle while interacting with your way of communicating: sign language (Surprisingly, he was naturally good at it. Though his movements are rather exaggerated and...ungraceful).

You were nice enough to accompany him to his fishing tasks and soon enough became your daily activities. Childe takes the lead as you follow him from the side, sometimes he lets go of the steering wheel and allows you to push the boat instead (he kept a note to himself that in your mermaid mode, your strength multiplied by a large number). Other times he felt a little risky and decided to jump in the ocean with you for a swimming session. It worried you immensely but your anxiety subsided when you saw how much fun he was having and for the rest of the time, you both explored what the ocean had to offer.

Childe used to be a fish-cook enthusiast. Not anymore (since that day you cried when glancing at the flounder dish he placed on the table). He had to stick to seaweed or any other plant-based meals with a little bit of meat but too much would cause your stomach to churn. Since his siblings complained at the sudden change, he had to make a separate meal plan for them. With a mermaid in the house was certainly high-maintenance indeed.

Cuddling with you in front of the cracking fire blazing under the chimney was one of the calmest moments indulged himself in. He often chooses the life where the waves crash constantly, anticipating a thrilling storm that comes ahead. But you were just a lull at the sea, the mediator he needed in times where his siblings needed a mother-figure. Sometimes he fears that you would leave him and return to where your true family lives but he was grateful that you chose him above all else. He was grateful that by chance, he captured you at sea. One thing he loved about life was the unpredictability the future brings, including the blessings. Even if you were a creature from far away, in your presence he felt like he was truly at home.

{Kaeya}

When the tides rose above his head, Kaeya was sure that he was done for. The surfboard he recently stood upon slips off beneath his feet and he falls into the ocean’s merciless waves. No oxygen, no time to catch his breath amidst the impact, his eyes were slowly closing and the last thing he saw was the sun’s light beyond the heavy surface, along with the murky visual of someone swimming in front of it.

Although he almost drowned, the idea of being saved by a pretty mermaid makes up for the fact (He has a natural tendency to flirt at anything eye-catching even if you were an outlandish being). You on the other hand was confused by his advances as you couldn’t understand a word he was saying, hence you swam away.

Those beginning days when you chose to explore the land, Kaeya remembers how much trouble you had with walking using your new legs. He had to hold both your hands while leading you forward, he found it rather cute when you tighten your grip the moment you felt that he was going to let go (he was only bluffing of course but you still hissed at him). Still, Kaeya ensures that you don’t fall to the ground, he catches you in time when you collapse while laughing, “You’re doing great sweetheart.”

In return you teach him how to read the ocean’s movements so that he won’t drown again. Kaeya spends more time around the beach since he knows that the water bodies are where you were most comfortable with. He tells you that you always smell like saltwater whenever he buries his face in your hair, perhaps that was how he grew attached to the ocean as well.

In summer seasons there were several days where you had to sleep in his bathtub because the air was so dry. As a mermaid, he had to tolerate many of your unique quirks, in this case he had to deal with showering in cold water since you took up all the electricity. Another case was your wine tolerance, no one could challenge you to a drinking contest when your body could sustain large amounts of liquids. Kaeya sometimes jokes if you could turn him into a merman like those in fairytale books so he can have the same experience. You take it as a joke while he was also being half-serious.

When you have to take a temporary trip home, Kaeya visits the dock every evening and waits for you to come back, trying to see any signs of your colourful tail. He glances at the ocean he grew to love, knowing where he stood is as far as he could go and anywhere beyond the boundary was out of his reach. So many people left him in his life and even though he knew you wouldn’t do the same, he still worries. Uncertain if you would abandon him too.

Your existence became the center of his life the moment you chose to walk upon land with him. Side by side, through small hurdles the seashore and hurdles as big as the wave that almost killed him the day he met you, Kaeya keeps them all as if they were the most precious treasure a pirate could find. It didn’t matter if you were different from everyone else because despite your tail, all he could see was you.

{Zhongli}

While Zhongli strolls along the sandy beach, he follows the alluring sound of your singing voice. You sat upon the rock while humming along what seems to be an old folk tune, similar to what Guizhong once sang. The man folds his arms and closes his eyes. Many years have passed since he last heard something like this, “Your voice, it’s very lovely.”

He was a geologist who worked by the museum, collecting different types of rocks and seashells that would wash up shore. You became very familiar with his daily routine that before he pays a visit to the beach again, a pile of interesting rocks would be waiting for him by the docks. It was a gift. And Zhongli would bring snacks like seaweed soup as an accommodation for your kindness.

Unlike Kaeya, when you couldn’t walk because your legs were too weak to be used, Zhongli helps you with every step along the way even if the trip was a slow one. He even offered to have you carried when he saw you were having too much trouble but you insisted on trying. The whole trip that usually took ten minutes was a three hour walk.

Even though he knew many things, your language was not one of them. However he was willing to learn. Both of you have study sessions regarding each other’s culture. For you it’s the way humans drink with cups because of Zhongli being a tea fanatic himself, he even showed you how to hold a tea cup properly. You taught him how to swim since he had been so occupied on land that swimming never crossed his mind. Thankfully he was naturally good at it due to his tall stature (albeit a little scared when diving into an environment unknown and different to him).

Zhongli loves the way you sing and he would ask every time he wanted to read a book. Either under the tree on a warm spring day or on the couch when it was storming outside. Although he intended to get some reading done, Zhongli can’t help but fall asleep. You didn’t want to wake him up (and you could carry him if you wanted to thanks to your mega-mermaid strength) so by morning, you’d find yourselves in the same spot and your lap feeling numb.

Earth and sea were separated for a reason so that the creatures may stay upon the place where they belong. That wasn’t enough to separate you from him though. Zhongli would travel to the sea to see you and you mustered the courage to walk upon the hard surface of land. The two were only parts of the world but together they are part of the world, connected to form a whole new life.

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aetherarf · 3 years

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Can you write some hurt/comfort jeanluc (Jean x Diluc) where it takes place after Diluc is sexually assaulted and Jean hears that Diluc is injured (based off the injuries in the post you made about them) so she goes to visit him and he tells her what happened? Maybe she stays there with him for a while and comforts him and helps him around with his injuries?

Good......... Here u go

[[ WARNING: INJURY, TALK OF RAPE, ANGST ]]

[[ Summary: Barbara, innocently enough, tells Jean that Diluc had come to the Cathedral, but the other sisters' wouldn't let her near... Jean ends up going to see what happened, only for something she couldn't have imagined being the truth.

Word Count: 3'552 ]]

A rare few moments, where Jean and Barbara rested peacefully near each other--Barbara was reading some book, and Jean was writing some paperwork of someone who she arrested under...

Dubious conditions.

"You know," Barbara said, eyes not off of her book, "I saw Diluc just a day or two back."

"Oh yeah?" Jean asked, she had wanted to speak with him about... Many things. But she knew she couldn't, he was likely in a lot of pain, still.

"He was brought to the Cathedral..." Barbara lifted her head, looking at nothing, "The other Sisters wouldn't let me see him... And made me leave."

Jean froze, staring blankly forward, before jerking her head to look at her sister.

"Do you know why?"

Barbara looked at her, all sweetness and innocence, "They said that they couldn't teach me... Too many wounded. I wish I could help, but... I guess I can't."

"Was Diluc wounded?" Jean asked, nearly jumping up from her seat.

"Huh? Oh... Actually, probably. I didn't see him, but... I don't think he was standing..." Suddenly, her expression was quite shocked, "I... I guess I didn't think about it... "

There was an awkward silence.

"... Are you... Going to go see him?" Barbara asked.

... how could she not? But how could she abandon her sister, who was the world to her?

"No, I promised I'd spend today with you."

Jean smiled, but it was all pain and lies.

The guilt--of both making her sister worry, and not going to find the truth about Diluc, ate at her all day...

She did her best to try and enjoy the little time with her sister, giving her a hug before bed...

And she sat, finishing some forgotten paperwork until she figured Barbara was asleep, grabbed an overcoat, and found her way to the Cathedral, ignoring the bitter winds and sharp rain pounding down on her, slipping inside, and shutting the door as quickly as she could, gasping for air from the battle.

"Ah, Miss Gunnhildr," Jean jumped at the sudden voice, spinning around to see Sister Victoria looking at her, more than a little exhausted, and somewhat spooked.

"Greetings, Sister," Jean nodded respectfully, "I... Apologize for coming in at this hour, but..."

There was a silence hanging between both of them, a moment of painful hesitation.

"I had... Heard that... Sir Ragnvindr had... Been... Brought to the Cathedral under... Dubious conditions. I wanted to see what... I would like to understand the full situation." She explained, finally.

"Well..." Sister Victoria hesitated, "He is alive." But not well. If a sister did not mention wellness, it meant something awful. "He has been under intensive care for the past two days," she said, rather blunt compared to her past words.

"Intensive-" Jean echoed. "Intensive care?"

Sister Victoria looked as though she was ready to cry. "Well, the sisters are in disbelief of what he, uhm, claims to have happened, as well as I will not betray his trust in us." She said, honestly, "He has not been accepting visitors, and does not want his presence of being in the Cathedral known."

Victoria was a smart woman. She knew Jean was one of the three... Two, two people alive who could possibly get to Diluc, with how, especially as of late, he has made his mind into a fortress, every door barred and locked, windows nailed closed with wooden planks and massive bookshelves keeping them sealed...

Only three people had been able to jimmy the locks, wiggle enough room to find their way in, and to find Diluc, sobbing alone within, to console his true self.

There were now two, and Jean was one, even if she did not have half the freedom to his 'fortress' as Kaeya may.

"Would you ask him," she said, cautiously, "If he is willing to see me and me alone?"

Sister Victoria smiled weakly, "Of course. Please, wait a moment."

Jean nodded, with a smile that faded into pure despair as she was out of sight... She was tired, so she opted to walk to the backmost pew, and sat down, her head in her hands, arms propped up with elbows on her legs...

...

Diluc, do you not trust me?

Did you not even tell Kaeya?

Do you just want to suffer alone?

...

"You know, Diluc isn't as strong of a man as you'd think."

Jean jumped with a gasp, jerking to look at the woman next to her--a sister, Rosaria if memory holds.

"I," she swallowed thickly, "Please don't scare me like that."

Rosaria took a long drag of her cigarette, and blew it in the opposite direction of Jean, "I was always sitting here. You just came and sat next to me." She said plainly, her eyes dead as she stared right at her...

Jean wondered, for a moment, was she truly always there, or trying to toy with her in this moment of vulnerability...

But then her initial words hit her, and Jean was not offended--she was angry.

"Diluc is the strongest person I know--" she hesitated for a moment, as though trying to get a breath of air from simply forgetting to breathe, "Maybe the strongest person in Mondstadt." She finally said, finding herself much more stiff and poised than before.

Rosaria, carelessly, looked at the cigarette in her hand, toying with it, before setting it near her lips, and speaking, "Do you think he's strong all the time, then?" She then finally put it between her lips, and inhaled.

"N-No, no, of course not," she felt... weak. She was so tired, but she wasn't about to let someone slander him when... When he was already so bad off. "No one's strong all the time, but when he is strong, no one can compare."

Rosaria froze, the cigarette away from her mouth but smoke in her lungs... she exhaled, and it huffed through her nostrils, like a comedic depiction of an angry bull... but instead of being angry, her expression was less frozen and harsh, more... appeased.

"Maybe you actually do know the man, rather than just idolize him like that Donna girl.. " she said, a slight, sly smile on her features. "You want to know what happened to him, don't you?"

Jean was more baffled than anything, was this a test? To her own... friend? Mentor?

She didn't know what Diluc was to her anymore, but she knew that if he were to launch a revolution to put Vennessa to shame, she would be the first to stand beside him, no matter what.

"I do," she said, genuinely, "I'm scared for him."

Rosaria nodded, slowly, "You should be. He was weak around the wrong people, at the wrong time..."

She sighed, softly, looking away from Jean, at nothing in particular, if only to avoid the agony Jean's face may send... but then she snapped her head back at her,

"He was raped. Brutally. Men, women, he has no idea how many people were there, but not an inch of him was left clean." Jean had to fight herself from gagging at the image, but Rosaria continued anyway, "Bleeding from every hole, cuts on the most painful of places..." She grabbed Jean's jaw, roughly, "Can barely even speak from how they busted his jaw."

Her hand fell off of Jean's face, and slowly trailed back to fold over her own chest.

"No one was there he could trust when he was weak," she stubbed the last of her cigarette into the seat of the wooden pew, "And so he trusted people who used his trust against him, in desperation. And now, all the sisters are sitting here," she gestured to the pews, "Calling him a sexual deviant, who doesn't know how to tell the truth. Bitches, all of them." Rosaria declared, before standing up straight.

A little stunned at such behavior from a sister herself, but...

"... Did he," Jean asked, "Did he tell you to tell me?"

She let out a huff of laughter, "He's rather die than let anyone know of his pain."

A horrible sickness hit her, of course, she knew he was like that, but...

...

It was too late for regrets. This was between Rosaria and Diluc, for telling Jean.

"... Thank you," Jean looked up but, suddenly, Rosaria wasn't... There. Just disappeared into thin air.

Jean stood, looking around for the woman, or any hint that she was ever there... But no, not even the faintest marks on the ground, only some slightly wet bootprints Jean herself had, unintentionally, tracked in.

"Miss Gunnhildr?" A soft voice asked, and Jean turned her head to see Sister Victoria once again, "He... Is willing to see you. But, I..."

She looked so afraid,

"I must warn you, due to his, uhm, injuries, he is majorly unable to speak." She moved her hand to her jaw, "He can barely move his jaw more than a single fingers width."

Jean nodded, with a smile, "That's fine. I don't think I'm going to do much beyond sit beside him."

"That may be for the best," Victoria admitted, "This way."

It felt like the walk was far too long, to a small hallway with no more than four doors branching from the sides, and one at the very end. However, the room they turned to was the first on the left, and Diluc was in the bed, on his side, curled up in fetal position. How... weak he looked.

Was this what Rosaria meant...?

"Sir Ragnvindr, Miss Gunnhildr is here... I'll give you two your time."

Sister Victora had left as soon as she came, the door clicking shut softly, and Diluc and Jean remained there, in the deafening silence.

Jean took in the scene before her, the flashes of the disgusting images Rosaria forced into her mind blurring the true sight of Diluc before her.

...

How much he feel, to endure such a thing? She was being selfish.

Finally, the silence was shattered gently, like when a pebble had hit a massive pane of glass, and despite the soft click, it was followed by harsh cracking, and a web of cracks covering the pane, destroying it, but keeping it present as a broken entity.

Her footsteps were light on the ground, and she walked to the side of his bed he faced, and pulled a chair over, sitting in it, her hands on her lap, sitting resolute as she looked over him.

His eyes were closed. One arm was bandaged, likely broken from the casting around it, and his other arm was lifted to cover his face, almost bracing his own head from Jean's presence...

It reminded her of when she was in Liyue, briefly, and an earthquake struck, how many had fallen to the ground and shielded their heads with their arms.

It really hurt to see.

She reached over gently, and with the lightest touch she could, she grabbed his hand, trying to pry it away, so she could see his face. Even from his best attempt at obscuring himself, he could see that there were countless bandages, one eye covered, black blue bruising peeking out from underneath, and the bandages even covered much of his scalp, and wrapped around his jaw...

... Probably from whatever they did to him.

However, she didn't let go of Diluc's hand, keeping it as a reassuring presence, admittedly, more for herself than Diluc.

... But that's not what he needed. Likely, the Sisters had his hands on him endlessly, his body too weak to fight as his mind went in endless circles, eating itself alive with each and every movement.

Was it right? To bring up what he endured?

...

He deserved to know that she knew. She had no intention of sharing it, not even to Kaeya, unless Diluc requested her to deliver the news in his stead.

"Diluc," She said, pulling her hand from Diluc's, and petting his hair gently. How funny--he adored his hair, was so protective. Were she anyone else, even in this state, he would grab her wrist and force it away with an evil glare.

A smile appeared on her lips, oh, but the sight of seeing him like this forced it away all too quickly.

"I know you were... raped." She needed to say it as it was, there was no use in pretending it was anything less, "And I believe you. I only know what I've been told, but for now, I will believe that you were raped, and hurt. If you tell me otherwise, I will believe that instead."

And there it was, how he was hiding from her, curled up so tightly, it all finally unwound. His arm was no longer shielding his head, but it flopped to the bed, his body still curled in on itself, but his muscles weren't fighting the pain to remain tightly bound within himself, instead he had gone limp like a corpse.

But, luckily, his breathing seemed better, too. Actually--it was almost like he was gasping, she could hear how he roughly inhaled through his nostrils, lips sealed tight. He was very much alive, but...

...

A little bit of snot trickling down, and his one exposed eye was teary. The other--the bandage, it was slightly wet. Even with a bloody, bruised eye, it still shed tears.

His lips quivered, but his jaw didn't open--in his throat, there was the sound of muffled whines.

He was in so much pain, so much agony, he could not even sob.

Jean was unsure how she was going to survive this pain, watching him in such horrible misery. if she thought, for a second, that he may end up dying from this, and there was no other option, she would slice his throat herself and leave Mondstadt eternally, only her little sister in tow, should she wish to follow.

But, no, somehow it was worse, she had to watch him in this state, with complete unknowing if he was to survive, or if his soul was to survive.

Trauma broke people, turning them into husks of human beings.

It was a fate worse than death, to see and to exist with.

She looked around, and saw a box of tissues, reaching over and pulling it closer, and tugging one out, doing her best to wipe away anything that may cause him discomfort, tossing it away quickly.

He knew, he knew she knew... And he only continued to cry, not even to cry, to pathetically whimper, unable to do more from what his body was enduring. She had... she had heard horror stories, of women who were captured by Treasure Hunters, bandits, fiends and villains, left nearly dead...

But it was so much more real than any story could be, to see Diluc like this.

She tried to tuck his bangs--his hair was a mess overall--out of his face, only for it to fall back in the way. Unexpectedly, his hand grabbed her wrist, snatching it up with shocking agility...

And slowly, so slowly, she could realize how cold he was, how pale he was... He must've been suffering from blood loss.

He pressed her hand to his face, and she slowly shifted, making her hand a little less stiff and harsh, and he nuzzled into it weakly, barely moving, she couldn't even see him move, but rather felt it against her palm.

"Hmp... Huh... hurts," He finally voices, through tightly pursed lips--how he must've fought to speak this single word, a confession to her, to her alone.

Of course it hurts, anyone with eyes could see it, but it meant more, much more than the word he truly said.

I'm afraid, I'm scared and it hurts, it hurts so bad I can't handle it, I'm so scared.

Diluc, after all, was not a poet. He could write the sweetest verses and the most heartbreaking poems... But he could not speak up, truly better with the pen than with his voice. His voice spoke little, but meant so, so very much.

Only one other could understand this. The only other who was more deserving to be beside Diluc in this time than she herself.

But he wasn't there. He might never come be by his side like this, and he may never know.

"I know," She said, softly, "I don't know your pain, I know it's-it's horribly and terrifying and crippling... But I don't need to know that--I know that I'll be beside you as long as you'll have me."

He huffed out a sob, only to tense, and she froze, looking over his body--he was entirely tense, his body a little less curled up on itself, but frozen like he had just been shocked.

...

Oh, oh no, he hurt himself, his sob, his expression of pain, hurt him.

If she had any less self control, she'd want to be screaming in pain too... But she knew that her pain was nothing compared to Diluc's internal or external pain, much less both combined.

"it's okay," Gently, she ran her fingertips over his exposed skin, minding to be delicate, and he made a low whine, deep in his throat, "I promise."

Suddenly, Diluc had a tighter grip on her wrist, and pulled it almost to his shoulder, and once again, he tensed, electrified with the pain he caused himself. She jerked forward with shock, and looked down at his face, seeing one eye [ bloodshot as it was, with deathly dark rings under it ],

"Hey," she reassured, "Don't pull... Can you say anything? Tell me what you need?"

She felt so, so horribly cruel for asking this... but... she needed something. Assuming what he needed could end in catastrophy.

"Cl...cluh....ooh...sssshhh..."

"... Cluh... Close?" She asked, and, minutely, he nodded.

He wanted her close--Oddly. He was never a touchy person, even with her, but... It figures, when he is so weak and afraid, he must want comfort.

"Can you squeeze my wrist?" She asked, softly, "Squeeze for a second, and I'll get closer. Then let go when I'm close enough, okay?"

She shifted to get on her knees, thinking she'd have to have her upper half on the bed...

He squeezed her wrist, so she rested her free arm on the bed, and looked up at him.

Another squeeze.

She tried to get a little bit closer, even in the dim room, she could see how thin he looked in this moment.

Another squeeze.

Carefully, she lifted herself off her knees, and sat on the bed, seeing him tense in pain from the shift... She nearly moved, but--

Another squeeze, nearly painful from the sudden force, but it must've been so much for him, for it ended so quickly.

"Uhm," She looked over the bed, thinking, "Do you... want me to lie down? Squeeze if yes."

Another, brief but powerful squeeze.

...

She couldn't help but smile, even when she wanted to cry.

Slowly, she moved so slowly, taking her arm back, and he whined,

"I can't lie down if you hold my arm." She said, simply, and he huffed out of his nostrils... Pouting, pouting at a time like this?

A wave of relief flooded her heart.

She tried to be slow, and finally, she found her way onto the bed--it wasn't particularly large, and the railing dug into her back, but if he could endure this pain, she could endure some discomfort. She was on her side, eye-to-eye with Diluc, and he just stared at her, his eye wide...

...

But there was no fear, and that, too, was a wave of relief.

His hand found its way to her hip, touched only momentarily, and then kept searching...

And found her wrist.

And he squeezed again.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to get closer, Diluc."

He squeezed again, in three pulses.

He wasn't going to let this go, when he wanted something, he would always get it. He was a very determined person.

So, she shifted gently, and he too moved, a few moments where he was stunned by pain, and he turned his head a bit to look upwards, as his head rested on her chest, her arm now used as his pillow, he curled up to her... As close as humanly possible.

With the hand that was not used as a pillow, she moved it to his back, running up and down, and he sighed softly through his nostrils...

"Sleep," She said, softly, "I promise, I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

He made a whine-like noise, and turned his face to bury it in her chest--again, were it anyone but Diluc, she may think he was being... well, a pervert.

But he wasn't. She knew he wasn't, he was simpler than that, only seeking warmth, softness, and comfort. So terribly complex, but also so terribly simple.

That's what she loved about him, after all.

After many long moments, Jean's own exhaustion tugging at her eyelids, his breathing slowed again... he didn't move, but he breathed steadily.

Tired. How tired he must've been.

She craned her neck a little awkwardly, hesitating... and pressed a kiss atop his head, before she finally closed her eyes, only to just barely miss the smile that formed on his own face...

...

It'd be awhile before she could get the full story, but...

If he could act like this now, then in the end, he would be okay.

Somehow.

#genshin impact #diluc #jean #jeanluc #jean x diluc #angsty bark #bark writes #hurt and comfort #// sorta #anonymous #request #// i always forget how to tag

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