#horse girl geralt of rivia

[fanby-fckry]

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #incorrect witcher quotes #the witcher incorrect quotes #the witcher memes #geralt of rivia #horse girl geralt of rivia #roach the horse #fanby’s fuckery

[badwolf084]

Combing thru the Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer tag and got sidetracked

I feel seen, as a not-so-former horse girl

#the witcher #fanfic #ao3 tags #geralt x jaskier x yennefer #horse girl #horse girl geralt of rivia

[guinevereslancelot]

all the best badass male fantasy heroes aren't cool bc they have a magic sword and an cool backstory btw. aragorn and geralt of rivia would be nothing if they weren't also, fundamentally, horse girls

#im right #all the best fantasy men are horse girls #aragorn and geralt of rivia are unrivaled for this #lotr #this witcher #this has been a shitpost #humor #@ the person who tagged hiccup from hotd you are so right he is literally a horse girl as well #honorable mention to arthur morgan based on the amount of ppl tagging him despite being in a dif genre. horse girl man transcends fantasy

[podcastenthusiast]

My personal rating of jobs I've seen Geralt have in modern AU fics:

Military: 3/10 - I get it in the sense that his work is his life and he's Seen Some Shit, but I just can't picture Geralt taking orders consistently enough.

MMA Fighter/Wrestler: 5/10 - It's got the violence! I could see it. I enjoyed the fistfighting quests in the game. Just not my favorite tho.

Bodyguard: 7/10 (10/10 if he's protecting Jaskier) - He is a big tough-looking boy! Likes to keep people safe. But I think he would get bored long-term.

Personal Trainer: 7/10 - A solid choice. We know he's qualified.

Regular Office Guy: 2/10 - Very funny to imagine but I don't think he'd actually make it past the interview.

Mechanic: 6/10 - I could kinda see it if you think of a car as like a modern horse.

Criminal/Gangster: 3/10 - Admittedly I haven't read one of these but I have trouble imagining it.

Lawyer: 8/10 - Saw this once or twice and honestly I'm here for it. Geralt is a huge nerd with a strong sense of justice.

Animal Control Guy: 9/10 - I picture this like that quest in W3 where Geralt had to save that goat except it's his entire job.

Trucker: 10/10 - God tier. Got the traveling, the isolation, the way the job gets in your bones. Perfection.

Anything With Horses: 10/10 - Yes! Geralt is absolutely a horse girl in every universe.

Still A Witcher Somehow: 10/10 - Love these fics with my whole heart. Geralt probably living in his car, wandering the city with a sword and protecting people (like Jaskier) from monsters nobody knows about/believes in? Fuck yeah.

#i'll add more if i find them #the witcher #geralt of rivia #the witcher netflix #witcher 3 wild hunt #geraskier #if you know any i missed send them my way #just saw a fireman one. 8/10 fits him well #horse girl geralt

[fandom-junk-drawer]

Jaskier walking into Horse Girl Geralt's room for the first time

#the witcher #the witcher headcanon #the witcher modern au #geraskier #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #the witcher netflix #twn #horse girl geralt

[ikeepwatchinghelicopters]

Random thought: A Witcher AU where Jaskier is an actor and Geralt does historical european martial arts (I hope that's the correct term; basically he's an expert on old styles of sword fighting). Jaskier gets a role in a big movie set in historical or fantasy setting and he must learn how to wield a sword. At least a bit. Cue Geralt and lots and lots of lessons where Jaskier trying to focus very hard because he's supposed to be a professional, but also mostly failing because Geralt's just way too hot.

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geraskier #maybe jaskier would need to ride a horse too #and since geralt is a horse girl he could teach him #jaskier isn't sure if he's happy about more lessons with geralt or not #more time with geralt means more unrequited pining #(but is it really unrequited?) #anyways #as always #feel free to adopt the au #random thought #fic idea

[jay-arts-t]

post retirement horse-girl geralt

Beloved man with horsie

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #roachy girl #roach the horse #retired Geralt

[itspoppyart]

Yen 🔮

#yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #yennefer imagine #witcher yennefer #the witcher #witcherdaily #fantasy fanart #witcher fanart #yennefer fanart #anya cholatra #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #geralt x yennefer #yennefer x geralt #horse girl geralt

[tauredhielcodex]

I'm making a sticker series lol 👀

#the witcher #witcher 3 #geralt z rivii #geralt of rivia #geralt #geralt is a horse girl #witcher art #roach #roach is the only valid character

[difeisheng]

#ALSO THEY'RE BOTH HORSE GIRLS #YES I KNOW THERE'S NO CANON BASIS FOR THIS FOR HEI XIAZI BUT SEARCH YOUR SOUL. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE #dmbj #hei xiazi #the witcher #geralt of rivia #ashton originals

[slumberingcorpse]

Jaskier: “So what kind of music do you like to listen to?”

Geralt: Death Metal.

Geralt’s real music taste:

#the witcher #the witcher fandom #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier x geralt #jaskier #incorrect witcher quotes #horse girl geralt

[smallandangry24]

I didn’t care much for the show, but I started playing Wild Hunt and bought the first Witcher book three hours ago and I’d already die for canonically insecure horse girl Geralt

#the Witcher #wild hunt #horse girl Geralt #roach #geralt of rivia

[podcastenthusiast]

Three little drabbles featuring Geralt "Horse Girl" of Rivia and different animals, from Jaskier's POV.

---

1. Horse

Jaskier realized it a few weeks into this new witcher-following, song-composing venture. Specifically, when he went to eat the last apple and was told in no uncertain terms that it's for Roach, even though their food rations were running worringly low and they were a day's ride from the next village. Even though he's a fragile human. Even though she could literally just eat grass.

The mare outranked him. She had seniority.

He tried to befriend the horse, with middling success.

He tried to befriend the witcher, too.

At least Roach could be bribed with a carrot or a handful of raisins.

People project a lot of their own feelings onto animals, he supposed. It's a relationship designed to be unequal. As complex or as simple as a person wants it to be.

For a while, he had started to resent her a little, as pathetic as that may sound. That is, until he woke in the middle of the night and overheard a murmured, rather one-sided conversation.

"I worry about him, though," Geralt was saying. "Can't exactly just find a new bard and start calling him Jaskier if something happens, can I."

What?

"Wish he'd shut up sometimes, but... I guess it's been kind of nice having someone around who talks back."

Jaskier's heart felt like it might burst or break. Or both.

"Not that you aren't good company, old girl."

Roach gave a quiet snort.

That was all years ago, now. The horse is different, but still somehow Roach.

He is different, too, but somehow still Jaskier. Still the reliable bard his friend needs him to be.

Now, he watches from his spot by the campfire as Geralt brushes through Roach's mane. The witcher's got drowner brains in his own hair but gods forbid he has a wash before his trusty companion is completely tended to. He's very gentle with her, which is probably why she tolerates it as well as she does. He's heard tales of stablehands losing fingers to routine grooming before.

Jaskier wishes he could write a ballad about this without potentially damaging his fearsome reputation-- the unbreakable bond between a witcher and his horse. The unexpected tenderness of hands made to kill.

He reaches for his quill to jot down a few ideas. Something something the mighty wolf and the wild horse, loyal and brave companions defending their forest home together. Keep it vague enough. Maybe a folktale vibe.

Besides, Jaskier thinks with a touch of bitterness, the wolf's tongue is the real danger. His jaws that snap at anyone foolish enough to get too close, to offer help when he's caught in a trap.

...Maybe he still has some feelings to work through.

The wolf also has a heart he tries so hard to bury. Jaskier can see it. Always has.

"You spoil her rotten, you know," he remarks lightly, plucking on his lute strings. "She eats better than we do."

"It's like sharpening my swords. I have to keep Roach in good condition, or we don't eat at all."

"Mhm. And it's very sweet."

He no longer begrudges Roach her well-earned place at Geralt's side. The witcher had been alone out here for such a long time before he came along, probably will be again after he's dead and buried. Even if Jaskier does wish that he could be the one Geralt trusts with his innermost thoughts and secrets and sleepless night fears, he is glad the man has someone in whom he can confide.

They all have their roles in this story. Perhaps he ought to accept his as its scribe, and let that be enough.

But Jaskier's greatest fault, he knows, is an always has been his refusal to accept things as they are.

-

2. Cat

"Oh, look at that. Someone's cat has gone missing. Poor thing."

"We're here for real work, Jaskier," Geralt says, scanning a contract notice. Recent plague. Graves disturbed. Ghouls. See alderman for details. Bit dull.

"They're offering a reward. See?"

"Somehow I doubt a small child has enough coin to justify ignoring the ghouls."

"Says here you'll get their eternal gratitude and-- oh! The lady of the house will darn your socks free of charge for a full year. Any additional mending at a discount. Now that's a good deal."

"Hm."

"Geralt, as you know my favorite doublet is in a sorry state after that minor werewolf incident--"

"I told you to stay with Roach."

"--All water under the bridge now, of course, and what an adventure! Worthy of a fine ballad--"

"Jaskier."

"--as this would be. Can't you at least keep one keen witchery eye out for the cat?"

"And risk a ghoul catching me off guard? Sure."

"Well, now you're just being silly. Don't tell me you're a dog person. Or are you allergic?"

Geralt sighs, realizing now that only the truth will free him from this conversation.

"Don't mind cats," he mutters. "But they don't like me."

"Sorry, what?"

"Cats don't like me," he repeats. "They start hissing whenever I get too close."

Jaskier's expression is caught somewhere between disbelief and sadness. "Why?"

"I insulted their king. Why do you think? They've got more sense than certain humans, I guess."

It's a veiled remark. Jaskier sees right through it.

"You're not a monster, Geralt," he says, achingly sincere. Then, in a lighter tone, "Does that mean you've never pet a cat before?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I was very young. I can't remember."

Jaskier mercifully drops the subject after a quiet and thoughtful walk back to the village's tavern.

He doesn't fail to notice Geralt buying extra scraps of meat from the innkeeper, or how he sneaks away at night to set them like snares in promising locations near the village. He'd probably say it's for the ghoul contract if asked, but Jaskier knows better.

Even if he didn't, there is really no other explanation for Geralt returning to the inn on the second night, covered in claw marks, carrying a ghoul's severed head in one hand and a bag containing one squirming, hissing feline in the other.

-

3. Spider

"GERALT!"

Every witcher in Kaer Morhen hears the bard's scream, but Geralt reaches the room in moments, his silver sword already drawn.

"Jaskier, what--"

"Kill it!"

The bard is standing on his bed, pointing frantically at something. Geralt follows his panicked gaze and sees--

"Really, Jaskier?" He sighs.

"What are you waiting for? It's a monster! Kill it!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not a monster. Just a spider. Not even poisonous."

"How do you know?"

"I read." Geralt crouches down for a closer look at the spider. "Might look scary but it's harmless. Probably sought shelter from the cold."

"Well, then it can go right back outside."

"Jaskier, be reasonable."

"I am. Either the spider goes or I do."

The witcher looks thoughtful. Says nothing.

"Oh, thanks, Geralt! I feel so loved."

The spider crawls onto Geralt's hand and Jaskier almost screams again, shrinking back even farther. Gods, it has so many legs!

"Pretend it's a kikimora or something," he pleads. "Why won't you kill one little spider for your very dearest old friend in the world?"

"Because kikimoras have no niche. They're invasive, and need to be dealt with to maintain balance in the ecosystem. Spiders aren't like that; they do belong. A monster, fundamentally, is any creature that doesn't."

Jaskier just stares at him, speechless. He's not sure he has ever heard Geralt say that many words all at once.

Geralt's eyes remain on the spider. "Witchers aren't sent out on the Path not knowing why we kill; we're not soldiers."

"I never thought of it like that," Jaskier admits. "That spider's still fucking terrifying, though."

"Hm. I'll take it outside."

"Geralt?"

"Hm?"

"I know what scared, stupid people say about witchers sometimes. But I-- You do belong. You're important. Just want you to know that."

"...Thank you, Jaskier," he says. Then, quieter, "You too."

#the witcher netflix #the witcher #witcher fanfiction #geraskier fic #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #witcher fic #I'm sad i can't pet cats in witcher 3 okay #horse girl geralt

[fandom-junk-drawer]

Yennefer: We need to renovate the bathroom.

Geralt Hmm.

Yennefer: I was thinking something classy but fun.

Geralt: Hmmm! Say no more!

The new bathroom:

#the witcher #twn #the witcher netflix #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #geralt #geralt of rivia #yenralt #horse girl geralt #henry cavill

[littlearmadillos]

“i watch ‘the witcher’ for geralt” this and “i watch ‘the witcher’ for yennefer” that

i watch ‘the witcher’ for roach

#geralt of rivia #the witcher #yennefer of vengerberg #geralt #yennefer #roach the horse #roach #i swear i’m not a horse girl #horse

[jay-arts-t]

Geralt letting Roach into the keep since he got her as a teen. Vesemir hating it, "she's tracking mud everywhere."

Geralt just rolls his eyes and replies "this place is falling apart anyway, but I'll clean up after her."

He knows he can get away with it cause he's Vesemir's kiddo.

Then he settles into Corvo Bianco, with all its fancy hardwood flooring and high quality patterned rugs. He's realizing his mistake in teaching Roach how to get into buildings. Because he's laying on the couch with his head in Yennefer's lap and Dandelion is laying on top of him fast asleep. He's drifting off when he suddenly hears the very familiar clop clop clop of Roach's shoed hooves on flooring. Yennefer lets out a disappointed sigh. Geralt peeks an eye open and sure enough Roach is standing in the living room staring at them with her big brown doe eyes as if to ask "got any room for me?"

And yes, Geralt does get up and move the coffee table so she can lay on the nice rug and rest her head on his shoulder and snooze with them.

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #dandelion #gerlion #yennefer #yenralt #tw3 #corvo bianco #roach the horse #geralt is a horse girl