#i also got so emotional re-watching this. such an episode.

[absolutebl]

Leaving GMMTV aside, what were youre favorite shows this year so far? I'll have more free time coming up and im way behind and out of the loop, so some recs would be appriacted, wise sage. Especially for those shows that didnt get the attention they deserved in your opinion! Thanks a lot!

Top 10 BLs of 2023 So Far

Our Dating Sim

(Korea) 10/10 Viki

If you haven't watched this, it's a must. I actually handed out a 10/10. I NEVER do that. It's a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. I adored every aspect from the casting to the pristinely simple premise to the quietly smooth execution. Sure it’s low stakes, but that makes it high domesticity and extremely warm and gentle. This is a fuzzy blanket of a story - a cozy BL. It lives in my rewatch pile and you know what’s best about it? Every single episode is in that pile. There’s no skipping with this one, it might be good natured and calmly sweet but it’s tight and the pacing is excellent. Full review here.

My School President

(Thai) 9/10 YouTube

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORED this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being re-executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? This show was fantastic, it’s only flaw was the singing (and that’s my baggage). My favourite GMMTV BL offering to date. And yes, I've watched them ALL.

(you said no GMMTV but I have to include it)

The Eighth Sense

(Korea) 9/10 Viki

One of the longest BLs Korea has given us and (like Blueming) it feels more atmospheric gay coming of age romance than strictly BL. It’s got a bit of an age gap, country boy/city boy, stellar acting, complex characters, and leads with great chemistry and tension. It’s a bit chewy and sticky and less perfect than most KBLs (do I detect a touch of Taiwan?) This one deployed BL tropes (messy eater, shoulder sleep, protective seme, there’s even some hyung-slinging) but front loaded them with painful backstory and tons angst drives the 2nd half. This isn’t in the KBL bubble, there’s sharp edges and lots of triggers. For a BL the darkness of the content left me feeling unsettled (which is the only reason it didn't get a perfect score) but it does have a glorious ending and that counts for a lot.

The New Employee

(Korea) 9/10 Viki

So good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also found family and a lesbian bestie. Sweet & innocent (and out) Seung Hyun scores the office internship of his dreams. On his first day at work he gets into it with his cool reserved (and also v gay) boss. As you do. Frankly? This is what I wanted from this new crop of office set KBLs ALL ALONG. Rainbow rice cakes forever! Directed by queer activist Kim Jho Gwang Soo (Just Friends?) partly set in the same neighbourhood as the To My Star house. Gotta love WATCHA (Semantic Error, Light on Me).

Unintentional Love Story

(Korea) 9/10 iQIYI

A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). I’m not sure on rewatchability, and it didn’t whip me into a verbal frenzy the way some KBLs do, but it still gets a solid 9/10 for those damn eyes alone.

Destiny Seeker

(Thai) 8/10 grey

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likeable tsundere/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes. Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. Full review here.

Make a Wish

(Thai) 8/10

PNR (from Sammon - Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love. Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not-Ohm, but who cares bc Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but v. satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af, fag hag bestie and everything. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are too overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.

All the Liquors

(Korea) 8/10 Viki & Gaga

A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introvert chef who doesn’t drink. This has a somewhat uneven plot and ridiculous central conceit (much in the way of Tasty Florida or Behind Cut), but if you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented.

Love Mate

(Korea) 8/10 Viki

Features a very much openly gay older uke with commitment issues and a romantic (if arrogant) younger seme with no respect for boundaries (hyung romance). Workplace harassment much? That’s BL for ya. (Also a nonBL Kdrama specialty.) So yeah it’s questionable, but so is my taste. The ultimate premise that someone badly hurt shuts themself off to romance is very similar to Happy Merry Ending or 8th Sense but this version was more about fear than abuse or trauma. For me, this made Love Mate more relatable. However, because the denouement was driven by a late addition faen fatal, the conclusion felt rushed and forced. I can, however, see myself rewatching this one, so it falls into the general rank of 2023′s KBL aka solid high standard and eminently watchable.

Bed Friend

(Thai YouTube, Gaga, iQIYI)

Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS). NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, unfortunately the story ultimately failed them. Had the show had the strength of its convictions and kept to a tighter, darker, harsher 8 eps it would have been the first high heat to earn a 10/10 from me, but once they fussed with it, it dropped to a solid 8/10. Could have been great but was overworked. Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down. Full review here. (Triggers include: child abuse, attempted rape, family abuse)

(3x! 3x Tumblr ate this post. They HAVE to de bug their new editor. This never happens with the old one. Biggest bug is with the "undo" function, DO something about it!)

#best bls of 2023 #best of 2023 #best bls #best bls so fa #thai bl #korean bl #tumble DEBUG your new editor you slackwits #rakutan viki #gagaoolala #Our Dating Sim #My School President #GMMTV #The Eighth Sense #The New Employee #WATCHA #Unintentional Love Story #Gongchan #B1A4 #Destiny Seeker #Make a Wish #Fluke Natouch #All the Liquors #Love Mate #Bed Friend #NetJames #2023 So Far

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 10: Fear No Mort

(A bittersweet end to a great season)

If you are not ready to conquer your fear of spoilers, go no further…

My Favs

Diane!

Overall, I’m pleased with how the writers handled the character of Diane and Rick’s interaction with her. They don’t portray either Diane or their marriage as flawless. There is definitely a bite to her personality and we see them have conflict like any married couple but there is still a lot of love and affection there, assuming Morty’s version of the relationship is accurate. It is certainly open to interpretation. In my mind, the only thing that was inaccurate is Diane’s disdain for her grandson. In actuality, I think she would have loved Morty to death and have absolutely spoiled him rotten as a grandmother should.

I also love that the writers confirmed that she was a scientist or was on the path to become one. She was definitely some sort of biologist, maybe a zoologist or a ornithologist. I don’t know about you but my heart went pitter-patter when Rick said her master’s thesis inspired him to create a ray to hear duck’s talk.

Lastly, I’d like to say that while I thought we might have somehow had the real Rick interact with the real Diane through some sort of sci-fi resurrection or afterlife break-in, I’m ultimately glad this is the work around the writers came up with. Anything else would have cheapened Diane’s death and Rick’s grief.

Rod Serling/Twilight Zone homage

Confession time. I’ve never seen the original Twilight Zone or the reboot, but I’m aware of the premise of the show and how it ties with this episode. I know I’m missing out and it’s on my list of shows to watch. Sometimes, I wish I could get a Night Person to watch all the television shows I don’t have time for in my waking hours.

Tide and Time

Really enjoy the newest Ryan Elder song. He is incredibly skilled at finding or creating the perfect soundtrack to convey the emotion we need for a particular episode.

Morty’s fear of relying on Rick

I will expound on this further in “My Thoughts”

Rick choosing Morty

Not only does he do it once, but twice. Once in Morty’s fear simulation and once in the real world.

Not my Fav

Product Placement

I know capitalism has got to capitalism, but could we please leave ads for shitty restaurants out of my story of a grandfather and his grandson navigating the human condition in a infinite, nihilistic universe that is incapable of caring! Thanks.

Besides, the fear hole should have been at a Shoney’s

My Thoughts

Morty’s codependency, fear of change, and learning to not live for the dead but to live for the living.

Seasons 6 and 7 has seen a gradual shift from Rick being a drunk asshole who is incapable of creating any real attachments because there are infinite versions of everyone (except for the one person he most cares about) to someone who is less drunk, ever so slightly less of an asshole, but a little more willing to open his heart to the version of his family he has chosen to live with. Unmortricken closed the chapter on Rick’s life purpose of getting revenge on Rick Prime and now with Fear No Mort we see Rick resist the temptation of clinging to the past and choose the grandson living in the present. The finale doesn’t give us much to chew on in regards to what is in store next for Rick, but in some way, I think the show is taking a bit of a pause on Rick as it shifts to Morty.

As the twist reveals, this episode focused exclusively on Morty’s psyche and his recognition and fear of his codependency with Rick. I recommend if you haven’t, to rewatch the episode a second time with this knowledge in tow. What sticks out to me is the antagonist relationship he has with Diane. They never speak to or acknowledge each other. I don’t think she even makes eye contact with him and in the scene at the school play, Diane belittles him and delivers an ultimatum to Rick. Choose her or choose Morty. Maybe the show wants us to take this literally, and it is really Diane he resents and that Rick will never choose the family in the present. Rick will never choose Morty. In my mind, I have a more metaphorical interpretation. I think Diane is symbolic of a future Rick that is, at last, happy and mentally healthy. Morty fears that if Rick gets better he will need his grandson less and that scares the shit out of him. He can’t imagine a life without Rick by his side, even envisioning a future where Rick follows him into adulthood, de-aging himself so he’s around forever. Both interpretations work and they both reveal the incredibly unhealthy mindset that Morty harbors.

We see a sort of ships passing in the night as Morty accepts that Rick will never see him as irreplaceable and he should just rely on himself at the same time Rick is finally ready to claim this Morty and only this Morty as his grandson and a legitimate part of his family on equal footing as Diane and Beth C-137.

The finale doesn’t give us much insight into what we might focus on in season 8, but I suspect it might be more Morty-focused. We have seen Morty start to develop some independence in the past, but it would be nice to see Morty develop an identity outside of Rick while also learning that Rick truly sees him as part of his family.

Also, the boy desperately needs some friends his age.

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #rick sanchez #morty smith #rnm #rick and morty thoughts #rick and morty spoilers #rnm season 7 #rnm spoilers #diane sanchez #fear no mort

[originalaccountname]

There are some posts I've seen floating around that at the start Dazai may not of known that Chuuya wasn't a vampire which I kind of agree with. I'm at work currently so I cant double check but when he goes "that's a nasty trick you've pulled fydor" im pretty sure its in his thoughts?? To which why would he think that if he knew the whole time. I think dazai must of caught onto the fact Chuuya was faking it at somepoint but not sure when that would of been. Also at the end of the ep Dazai said he didn't have a plan. (I did watch the episode at just after 2am my time when it came out and then fell asleep afterwards so my memory could be not correct). I do think chuuya not being a vampire at all is a little disappointing tbh but this idea softens the blow. Would like to know your thoughts on this idea if you are open to sharing?

I'm in that category too, yes. I've left a few tags saying basically the same thing on some posts.

First, there are a few things the anime didn't answer (more than failing to justify Chuuya faking it since the start, there's Sigma's case about needing to help the ADA, which... didn't happen at all) so either we haven't seen the repercussions of this arc yet, or we got the shortened version of what the manga will offer. Which could work either way. (not ideal necessarily, but besides huffing what can we do huh)

Dazai not knowing though! Dazai did admit to his "plan" being to mostly adapt on the fly and trust his allies to help him back. He implied this prison break was one big trust fall. But that's how I've always interpreted Dazai's way of planning! I even made a post about it a full year ago!

Since Dazai knows Chuuya slowed down the elevator (which I can accept, Dazai's ability shouldn't affect random objects he touches, and Fyodor had told Chuuya through a comm to go finish off Dazai because he wasn't in the room), I assume that by then he was aware. Maybe not before though. Definitely not at first. Because this?

I refuse to believe was entirely scripted. Why is he acting? For Sigma? For corpses? I'm of the opinion that no matter what is going on through Dazai's head, his expressions are always genuine (ex: he might react with surprise at something he completely expected, if only because of how sudden it was, or when/how it ended up happening. Here? genuine distress.)

And I extend that feeling to Dazai having an emotional moment, complete with flashbacks, while "drowning" Fyodor and Chuuya. He did say he wasn't expecting to kill them that way, but perhaps it really was a moment of weakness triggered by concern or guilt.

I can accept Dazai having caught on during his face-off with Chuuya. That's Mr I-know-your-breathing-patterns we have here, so if they didn't high-five after the elevator crash-landing (still broke Dazai's leg), I would say Dazai knows physics enough to go "hold on" and connect the dots. So yes, that baiting of Chuuya, the light taunting, the bratty attitude he only really has with Chuuya, the angry YELLING and insults when Chuuya shot him in the shoulder? The destiny talk? Yeah I can re-contextualize those as Dazai over-acting his part. And then not being able to shut up after being shot in the head.

Maybe there's some reaching here, maybe this will not be totally accurate to the source material. But Asagiri does have a habit to write scenes from an outsider pov while knowing whats happening in the characters' heads and behind the scene, but then not give us that input directly. Never before today was it confirmed that Dazai improvises a lot in his plans. And yet! That's something I've believed in for a very long time.

This all could very well be covering Asagiri's poor decisions, but between this being the adaptation and bsd being an unfinished story, I have a hard time deciding at the moment how much of a poor decision this was. Maybe it's worth a raised eyebrow. Maybe it deserves some criticism in hope the author takes notes. Maybe this was an anime-original resolution due to time constraints (think of the Fifteen final fight). I can only raise concerns for now, and wait.

#bsd being a monthly release is also detrimental to its pacing #the chapters in the last+ year were very short and suspense-heavy #which makes it look cheaper than if you took a break and read them all in one go #there's a balance in there #i don't know if asagiri really writes with our time perception in mind. maybe he just writes the story and then it's divided in chapters #and that's that. who cares if there's 6 months between those two entries. #bsd #bsd s5 #bsd spoilers #apparently i talk sometimes #ask answered

[thosewildcharms]

Well i was talking about towl fav ep and fav richonne moment but i want your thought on twd too now :)

thank you so much clarifying anon, and for the question! i think the easiest way to do this is to break it up by show.

towl

favorite episodes: I think it goes without saying that just like everyone else episode 4 is my favorite. it's a stand out not just for towl but for twd as a whole and is magnificent from start to finish. as for the rest? i have a lot of trouble ranking them actually because i love all of them for different reasons, but I guess my other favorites in no particular order are:

6 because it was just SO satisfying. that reunion seriously healed something in me. I love the flashbacks and how their pillow talk was incorporated throughout.

3 because it had me literally screaming at my tv and i love angst <3

1 because i didn't realize how much i missed rick grimes until i got him back, and i'm still so impressed by how much they accomplished in that one episode. also i think andrew lincoln was phenomenal and the ending was perfect. it gave me that WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK!! feeling that set the tone for the whole series.

favorite richonne moments:

the family reunion in episode 6 goes without saying right? it's all i wanted from the series and they gave it to me and it was everything

like, all of episode 4 lol but the standouts for me are "you don't have to thank me ever" (like, that whole sequence of him saving her) "the only time I feel safe is when I'm with you" (because i'm STILL reeling from that) the without you I die monologue obviously and i also really love the specific way rick's voice cracks when he says "you think I didn't want to be with you? I tried everything" and the way michonne's lip trembles in response. i talked about how rick is suppressing his emotions throughout that entire episode and that's one of the few moments he loses his composure - it's SO effective

the full reunion in episode 2!

rick putting the ring on michonne's finger MID THRUST. hello?

the proposal! his nervousness! her obvious joy and delight! i actually really love how light and funny they were all throughout episode 5. i re-watch all of those scenes a LOT

rick pulling his gun on thorne when she put her hand on her knife while interrogating michonne/rick stepping in front of thorne's gun when she had it pointed at michonne.

MICHONNE THROWING THEM OUT OF THE HELICOPTER

an underrated moment from the finale i really love is when rick grab's michonne's fingers when thorne orders them to walk with their hands up. i love that he needed that contact!

in the finale when rick says he just wants to go home. he wouldn't have, and they both know it, but i love that he was allowed to express that. AND i love michonne's reaction to it.

michonne dropping her sword (again!) when she thinks rick is dead

i really really REALLY love the dream sequences from episode one. it definitely felt like a huge fuck you to everyone who said they never would have ended up together if the apocalypse hadn't happened. like! sorry but no! michonne is rick's soulmate! die mad about it!

twd

favorite episodes: 6x10 the next world, 7x12 say yes, and 3x12 clear for obvious reasons. I also really love 6x09 no way out for having one of my favorite richonne scenes ever, 4x09 after, 4x11 claimed, 5x11 the distance for the amazing richonne build-up, 9x01 a new beginning (richonne just feel VERY married), 9x05 what comes after because i was tense and distraught the whole time even though i was spoiled for the ending, and 9x06 who are you now: michonne's grief is so palpable even years later, danai was incredible and that scene with judith at the end wrecks me. plus the RJ reveal!

favorite richonne moments:

"i've never seen your face like that before." listen. LISTEN. years ago i saw a gifset of this exact scene right here on tumblr dot com and it was so cute that i decided i would watch the zombie show if those two get together. and now HERE I AM. it's the scene that started it all for me, and it's still one of my favorites because it's so cute.

FIRST KISS ON THE COUCH. arguably the best first kiss of all time

all of say yes but SPECIFICALLY when michonne drops her sword, and how she jumps into his arms when it turns out he's alive, the panicked way she says "no no no" when rick tells her she could lose him. but also, how goofy and silly they were the rest of the time. they have fun together! they don't just love each other, they like each other!

THE END OF 6x09 WHEN RICK WALKS OUT INTO THE HERD. michonne loses her shit completely in a way we didn't see again until the bridge. nothing is more terrifying to her than rick (or her kids) dying, and that will always get to me. the way she was the FIRST one out the door once denise gave the go ahead? the fact that the ONLY thing that kept her from running after him sooner was the fact that carl still needed her? GIRL???

rick smiling at michonne and carl on the train tracks AND the "i'm okay/I know/how?/because I'm okay too" exchange also on the train tracks. i'm a 'rick fell in love with her on the train tracks' truther forever and ever amen.

that hug at the end of 7x10 and the little kiss on her forehead :)

"I'm still with you." everything about that scene is just the two of them saying "i love you" without actually saying it.

"we should go to washington" oh my god the look on her FACE

in 4x09 that whole sequence where michonne sees herself in the walkers, kills them all, makes the deliberate choice to follow the tracks and they lead her directly to rick and carl???? the way she LOOKS TO THE HEAVENS AND CRIES??? rick's incredulous laughter and "it's for you"? what kind of invisible string tying you to me-soulmate bullshit?

the 9x05 "do you know why i fell in love with you?" dream sequence

9x01 "how'd I get so lucky finding you?" the domesticity of that entire scene.

first meeting at the prison. it's SO charged and it's so amazing to re-watch that scene and be like rick!!! that's your wife!!! and again. towl just confirms it really WAS soulmates meeting for the first time. incredible!

#richonne #the ones who live #to reiterate. i loved *every* episode of towl. there is not a single bad episode. i even loved the jadis stuff in episode 5 #although i will admit they should have probably condensed the 3 jadis/gabriel flashbacks into one to help with pacing #also i'm sure there are a ton of eps/moments i'm missing from the mothership but these are the ones that stick out for me the most #answered

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

There were more than a couple of shows ending this week. And when that happens I go to my mdl page and click that box that says completed.

Sometimes it's with the feeling of "finally,it's over", and sometimes just that little action makes a bit sad. Playboyy is in the first category, I will not elaborate. I will just say a few words about the shows that this week are part of the second category.

I ticked that box twice yesterday and once just an hour ago. My heart is full, the joy is overwhelming and the bit of sadness that comes from the end of something I love has settled a bit (not really but let's pretend).

Perfect Propose was a gift. I didn't see it coming, and I was hooked from the first minute. Even with the shorter running time, Kai already occupies a special place in my heart and will join others as one of my favourite bl characters of all time. I don't think it's any secret for anyone that follows me that jbl has a special place in my heart. Maybe because it was my first, or maybe just because it's better my taste. But in 6 short episodes we got to see these characters confront their own issues and grow into themselves and each other, and still managed to have a story that incorporated workplace criticism without detracting from the love story which is super impressive. I wanted more because I could keep watching them but it felt complete.

Ossan's Love Returns was another surprise. Because I wasn't planning on watching. Mostly because I thought it wouldn't be my thing (crazy talk) and also because I would have to go back and watch everything that came before. But then, @twig-tea, as usual being the voice of reason, told me to just watch this season. And, not that they are on the same level in my heart, but this show filled a little bit of the hole left by WDYEY. It wasn't a perfect season. And I liked some characters more than others but in the end, this family had me in tears. This episode was beautiful. The speeches for Haruta got me so emotional, and then the cherry blossoms and the last fight between Maki and Kurosawa ending with the "We are family" left me with tears in my eyes that came back today as I was giffing it. It's amazing to me that this show has the success that it does and it gives me hope that we might get more stories like this. (Would also like to take a moment to thank @isaksbestpillow for subbing the episodes and giving us more cultural context so we can fully appreciate this show)

I LOVE cherry magic. All of it. I love the manga, I love the japanese version, the thai version and the anime version. Give me all of it. Forever. And so I was cautiously optimistic about this one. Optimistic because I really like Tay/New, cautious because in my brain I could only see how they could ruin one of my favourite stories. I didn't have to be. This was wonderful. I really wanna re-read the manga in its entirety because I wanna see how it compares now that it's over. Not to criticize it or be able to spot what they got wrong but to appreciate the changes they made and why it worked so well. Because the things that I noticed were really well done.

Not to repeat myself but... I LOVE Kurosawa/Karan. All the versions. I need more of him. I think from the main four, he's the one, that I notice changes more from version to version. And I love them all. I mean, Tay Tawan is a beautiful human. And his Karan had me practically swooning on a weekly basis. And I'm not a swooner. I loved New as Adachi, I think he embodied the character really well and I thoroughly enjoyed all his facial expressions. I loved this version of Minato and Tsuge more than the japanese version. I think it was more fleshed out and more balanced and obviously it was helped by the longer runtime. Even Pai and Rock had my heart by the end. It was so good.

_

I need more shows like the ones above and I'll be waiting for the next one that consumes me. In the mean time, I guess I'm gonna go watch some kids being awful to each other. Balance is good. 💜

#rose rambles #perfect propose #ossan's love returns #cherry magic th #rose is happy

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Due to flare ups, I’ve been thinking more about my relationship with my disabilities and my relationship with God — any good resources/book you can recommend?

Hey there, sending love and solidarity as you go through flare ups and as you explore all this <3

You came to the right place — disability theology is one of my great passions! Here are my recs for you. If anyone has more resources to add on or insights for anon, please share!

For starters...

First, you might enjoy wandering through my #disability theology tag over on my other blog, which includes excerpts from various disability theologians.

Or reading through / praying with the disability text prayers I shared here last July for Disability Pride Month, which were written by a variety of disabled folks.

Since it's Lent, Unbound's Disabling Lent: An Anti-Ableist Lenten Devotional is timely!

___

Memoirs Exploring Christian Faith & Chronic Pain / Illness

My Body and Other Crumbling Empires, Lyndsey Medford (2023)

This memoir connects faith, chronic illness (especially autoimmune disorders), and the sickness at the heart of Western Empire / the Protestant work ethic.

How can we learn to work with instead of against our bodies? How can we rebuild our world to treat all bodies with the love and gentleness they deserve? .

This Here Flesh, Cole Arthur Riley (2022)

An incredibly beautiful book, poetic and searing...explores the goodness of embodied life and intersections between disability (particularly chronic illness), Blackness, queerness, womanhood, and more.

Each chapter focuses on a different emotion (anger, joy, lament, love...) to teach us how to honor and listen to what we feel in our bodies.

CW for accounts of sexual assault and other forms of and abuse and trauma, as well as accounts of antiblack racism. .

Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I've Loved, Kate Bowler (2018)

If you've been steeped in any kind of prosperity gospel, "if you pray hard enough you'll be healed" type Christianity, I highly recommend this book.

Bowler writes with gentle honesty about how her chronic pain and then cancer compelled her to move away from that kind of harmful Christianity into a faith with room for doubt, grief, and a God that holds her in her suffering.

___

Disability Theology — Books, Podcasts, Videos

Disability: The Inclusive Church Resource edited by Bob Callighan (2014)

If you're interested in the perspectives of various disabled Christians, I love the range of voices they brought into this text! A great intro to how theology and church life impact disabled persons and how our churches must re-form themselves with disabled persons at the center. .

My Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series

I've got multiple YouTube videos that draw from various disability theologians!

I especially recommend my introduction to reading the Bible with a disability lens — stressing how different biblical authors hold different views around disability; so what's God's overall message? — and my video on Luke 14's parable of the banquet!

If you have questions about or struggle with the Gospels' healing narratives, I also recommend my livestream on that topic. .

My friend Laura's Autistic Liberation Theology Podcast (you can listen wherever you get podcasts)

Laura explores scripture through the lens of an autistic trans person who uses a wheelchair and has multiple chronic & mental illnesses.

I especially recommend their episode on "the Gethsemane of things," which takes an honest look at pain and where God is in our suffering. (Most of Laura's eps don't have transcripts, but I shared an abridged version of this ep on my podcast and it has a transcript)

"I am not your ornamental prophet" is also a great episode for thinking about what pressures are put on disabled persons and how to construct boundaries for yourself .

The Mad and Crip Theology Podcast

This podcast interviews the authors who are published in the Mad and Crip Theology journal, which is really cool! You can watch episodes with captions on YouTube, or listen wherever you get podcasts.

A good starter episode: this one "on Queer and Crip Sexuality and the Disabled Christ" .

Some eps of Blessed Are the Binary Breakers

While my own podcast largely centers trans perspectives, disability comes up frequently as well! Each ep has a transcript. These are the disability-focused ones:

"No End to Transphobia without Uprooting Ableism — exploring embedded forms of oppression"

"Our Pride Is Not a Sin — a Queer and Disabled Christian Lens"

"Goodness Embodied — an intersex, nonbinary first human and a disabled risen Christ"

"Marginalized Bodies as Spectacle and the good news in Jesus's disabling wounds"

"Eli and the prophet Elijah"

“Secular” books that helped shape my own theology

What Can a Body Do? How We Meet the Built World, Sara Hendren (2020)

Fantastic book digging into recent disability history, present, and future with focus on the “misfit” theory of disability where body and world interact with each other disharmoniously, and the creativity disabled people employ to make them more harmonious  .

Exile and Pride, Eli Clare (1999)

One of my favorite books of all time. Connects disability, queerness, rural life, trauma, and more. Clare is one of the originators of the concept of the “bodymind” (though he talks about that more in one of his later books)

___

Wanting even more resources? Here's my google doc with aaaaall the disability theology stuff — plus some helpful disability 101 stuff to share with loved ones!

Praying for comfort, wisdom, and community support for you as you journey! Please feel free to drop by again with any questions that come up or to share any insights you've gained any time <3

#disability theology #disabled AND blessed #disabled christians #faithfullydisabled #resources #recs #books #this reminds me i've been meaning to share more excerpts i've gathered from disability theology books... #anyone interested in that should go follow my other blog a-queer-seminarian and i'll start posting some in the coming days...

[azquine]

Can I get something on the JoanFK tag that ISN'T just complaining? It is ok to be feeling shit that things went badly in the show, but do you have to tag that negativity on the ship? The negativity is all that there is to see whenever I try to interact with the show and it's making me feel horrible.

I've been in far worse fandoms, and they didn't make me feel this bad.

It all feels so puritanical, like you have forgotten what a teen drama parody entails. Did you forget that they were ALL assholes in the first season who backstabbed and did shitty things to eachother for their own selfish gain? You are applying pretty strict rules of morality onto characters who intrinsically must break those rules to allow the narratives of their genre to move.

This was a short kiss, the result of feelings that JFK and Harriet had actively been trying to avoid for the sake of Joan. This could have been resolved by open communication, but that's not how either drama shows OR stupid hormonal teens work. After making this mistake, they did the most responsible and moral thing they could have and confessed it literally within the same episode as soon as Joan would not, you know, DIE as a result.

All things considered, it wasn't a secret relationship, it wasn't sex, it wasn't a long term secret held until it accidentally spills out and ruins everything. It could have been SO much worse, it was none of my worst fears, and I'm honestly relieved a kiss was where it stopped. And I am also really glad they confessed to quickly because I HATE liar revealed plots more than ANYTHING and I probably would have stopped watching. If they were going to do this plotline it was the best case scenario for me.

And do you know what is even better? What should be the bare minimum but is actually pretty rare in dramas from my experience? Neither of them tried to mitigate Joan's reaction, to say she was overreacting or to dance around the issue to make it sound better beyond a truthful 'we felt nothing'. Joan was allowed the space to fully process the information and her emotions, even if through a montage. And damn I wish I saw that more often.

As for those saying JFK would need a redemption for what he has done- does being open and honest about his wrongdoings not do that pretty succinctly? Beyond having not done it at all what else do you want? Pretty puritanical to want him to suffer before he can be forgiven.

And granted, Harriet got plenty of unjustified hate before she had even done anything, but post-kiss most of the discussion and anger I have seen has been directed solely at JFK. Harriet was part of that kiss too, knowingly going against her friend. Why is the romantic relationship deemed worse to betray? Both of them did a stupid thing together, and fixed it together.

And I'm not saying Joan putting all the consequence on Abe is justified, he didn't do shit wrong either, he tried to keep his friend alive in a tricky situation.

All of your feelings are valid, and I do see why the dominant opinion is what it is. Cheating is an awful thing to do and you should not be with someone you do not trust, I cannot refute that.

Yet at the same time, I felt it was important to put forward some differing points that I had been having. This show will not be enjoyable if we hold a position of being negative and moralistic. To some extent there has to be an acceptance that this is a fiction and moral failings are often part of a narrative structure.

(And while many of you have legitimate critiques on the execution of the show, it feels like some of you are taking the 'thing done badly because I don't like it' route)

I really hope nobody takes this as me trying to enforce cheating or to say that JFK and Harriet kissing was ok. It was shitty of them to do in the first place, but they are not morally irredeemable. Teen do stupid bad thing is not new. I'm also not interested in having an argument over this, I get caught up far too easily in that so I won't be answering any replies or asks. It is fine if you disagree, I'm here to propose a counterpoint.

Sorry if this was repetitive or lengthy. It just felt like I had to get it out there despite it being the early hours of the morning.

#clone high #joanfk #clone high jfk #clone high joan #rant #ramble

[reallyhardy]

Loren, have you started watching Scott Pilgrim Takes Off!? I'm on episode 5 rn, interested in your thoughts if you have started watching

YES hello!

i thought it was brilliant! i loved the subversion of expectation (i mean i WOULD deffo have been happy to sit there any just watch The Story I Know yet again, but it was SO exciting when i realised they were doing something different.) i love love LOVED the animation, all the action sequences looked so fantastic, and... i loved the addition of the sparks ✨ i thought it was SO so cute. SPOILERSSSS below:

i thought will forte playing older/even older scott was a fantastic choice (channelling phil tandy miller from the last man on earth for sure)

i also adored the scene with kim and knives bonding through music, and all of knives becoming part of the band... the whole thing with todd and wallace was absolutely nuts...

i thought it was nice expanding on all the exes stories and having ramona go in and make up with (most of) them. the story with roxie was particularly good and had me tearing up! and i was absolutely sobbing by the end of the series haha although i think a lot of it had to do with the nostalgic angle for me and how much i'd loved the movie as a teen hahaha and then having the story come back for a third time in my life in a way that felt kinder and more redemptive was really something.

at first i was sad they didn't get into things like steven being gay but then i realised... ofc with it ending in a similar place 'let's try this' but also really it actually ended chronologically not long after the original story starts... it had me realise oh actually there's still so much possiblity for these characters and their lives. they could still have a lot of those adventures and discoveries that happen in the later comics even if we don't see them, it ends on the hopeful note that lets you know they're all going to try, even in the face of knowing that it Could All Go Wrong as shown by older scott & ramona's story, that there is always hope and they may as well give it a shot. BUT i also thought that part with Ultimate Ramona saying "i'm probably going to struggle with this later, so let me tell you this now, i love you" IDKKK i know to that-timeline scott that's early af but to ultimate ramona it's a real present thing since she's got all of that knowledge and history inside her. ANYWAY MADE ME EMOTIONAL also loved the visual reference to the kiss from the end of ponyo :')

.............ramona RE-BLEACHING and dyeing her hair THAT much was absolutely insane though 🤣 i've seen ppl say 'WITH A DEVELOPER BASE!?' too although I PERSONALLY believe she was maybe. mixing with conditioner. that's the only thing i could think of that would make it even remotely acceptable to bleach it that much (but also its a cartoon so ofc not realistic haha)

also i THOROUGHLY enjoyed the nicholas angel & danny butterman cameos 🤣 i was like wait why are these two security guards english.....? oh wait. oh okay. i see.

#edgar wasn't even director LMAO but somehow pegg and frost were still squeaked in there #i also thought calling the director 'edgar wrong' was so funny #loren talks #scott pilgrim takes off #ANYWAY it's made me want to go re-watch the movie and then re-read the comics and then #re-watch the series again haha #also hi es if ur seeing this im making slow progress on sketching for u #may still be a while but the ideas ARE flowing

[lexygabe]

tora aikawa / twisting tiger headcanons/rewriting/etc.

(march/11/1990)

pisces sun | virgo moon | aquarius rising

INFP - 9w8 - sx/so - 974 - ESI - RLUAI - EFVL - Melancholic-Phlegmatic

general headcanons:

• trans masc, he/him, gayace,

• nobody cares but his sexuality headcanons were made by me when i was mad at wattpad bitches infantalizing him and making him their uwu japanese anime boyfriend,

• also he is little gremlin man before anybody start treating him as omg so cute trans boy hahaha gay baby. nah, he will kick you directly in the balls (even if you don't have them) and he will do this with pleasure,

• as a kid he was creepypasta enjoyer (he tortured miko with them when he was trying to sleep),

• philosophy nerd, not only into "asian philosophy", but philosophy in general. marxism, stoicism, nihilism, epicureanism, etc. everything,

• he reads this big fucking books weighing tons and they are always the craziest shit ever like "the idiot" by fyodor dostoevsky,

• i think he is russian literature fan in general,

• i think he had something that we could describe as depressive episodes, but he was never diagnosed with it til adulthood. and to be honesg tiger himself thought that everyone have felt something like that from time to time,

• probably has light ptsd,

• his friendships with nakama players (besides his and miko bond) aren't that strong like they used to. this is "when both of you start to distancing from each other and you become strangers to each other" situation, (he misses them)

• he self expressing himself very often in form of his new tricks, but also in his writing (he has a lot of notebooks with multiple essays),

• loves cartoons,

• <energy drinks3,

• he has keyhole top surgery type of scars,

• he become strika member after his whole transition journey,

• when doc got his medical results he was a little bit confused bcs birth certificate said that tiger is afab, so he informed coach about it,

• some day after training coach took tiger aside and told him that if anybody's gonna have problem with his identity, he will talk to them and he also asked tiger if he was capable of informing him or doc about his problems/health,

• rasta was first to know, bcs he and tiger went out for a beer together once and tiger started pointing out on his chest and telling a whole story totally drunk. the next day rasta walked up to him and asked in friendly-jokingly way is it safe for him to remove his muscle breasts, to which tiger replied with laugh,

• besides rasta, coach and doc. shakes, klaus and probably whole reserve players bench know about him,

• y'all will eat me (for speaking the truth) but matador, joe and north don't know about the fact that he is trans. bcs north definitely says f/aggot at least once a day, el is this cis lgb+ stereotype in tigers eyes (even tho matador doesn't care about gender identity, if you are hot, then you are hot and you will have to deal with his interest in you) and joe may perceive tiger differently when he would come out (again, this is how tiger feels about him),

• he is very critical of the sigma male trend and whole "sigma" idea in general, he even done a research and watched and read american psycho and fight club (yeah ik this is so random),

• idealist. he is close with his feelings and morality, so he assumes very often that everyone controls their own emotions like him,

• he is both idealist and skeptic,

• texts >>>>>>> voice messages/video calls,

• had religion crisis,

• he develops his trust to people very slowly,

• has mulitple accounts on twitter and makes the best trolling posts out there,

• he has decent knowledge about politics,

• watches kdramas when bored,

• he was wearing brackets in the past,

• has a lot of collections (like gadgets from chips' wrappers, TALISMANS, jewelry, figurines), but he is not obsessed about them,

• has tattoos like this:

• DEFINITELY HAS SOMETHINGG FROM HYPERMOBILITY SPECTRUM. that's why he is so flexible.

throught the series (og tv show, rewriting):

• [—] is waiting to be completed.

relationship with:

• miko: ik a lot of you ships them, but they are platonic to me.

they are like brothers. sometimes they fight for dear life and the other time they send each other funny memes at 3 am. in my head, both of them didn't have a great family dynamic, so they stayed together late at night.

miko was more easy going, so he was always worried about tiger when something happened to him. they aren't ashamed to show their love to each other.

• inyo: when they were kiddos she truly loved him in the most sisterly way you can think of. both of them are very careful when it comes to developing relations so they become very important to each other. it hurt when they had no contact with each other for years and then they become super league enemies (they never even have a talk after this).

• rasta: tiger is welcomed in rasta's house and tiger is always open to do something for rasta in return. buddies.

• cool joe: its complicated. on the one hand they are good friends and joe considers tiger as one of the most normal mates in their team, but they still have that unresolved tension that prevents them from deepening their relationship further.

• others: ?

fashion headcanons:

• smokey eye makeup supremacy,

• TW SCARYASS PRINTED SHIRT. he wears t-shirts with the most obscure shit on them

.

.

.

.

.

• his style is something between grunge, gothic and alt,

• he wears platform shoes to look taller than he actually is,

• some examples of his fits:

music headcanons:

• soft rock!! (car seat headrest is his beloved), j-pop, mcr & bôa.

NSFW:

• had a tdick at the time when he was playing for nakama,

• is into t4t relationships, bcs every cis gay guy he had thing for were super weird about him and either have had internalized transphobia or specific fantasies that crossed his boundaries of comfort,

• tldr give this man a trans bf so he could have the most non sexual intercourse.

#supa strikas #headcanon: supa strikas #supa strikas twisting tiger #supablr #text: supa strikas

[anghraine]

I caught up with my re-watch of the second episode of Rings of Power! The episodes are long and have a lot going on, but it was fun and enjoyable—more than the first, actually, since it wasn't trying as hard to introduce everything and could breathe more.

I really liked the beginning with Galadriel in the sea, staring up at the stars before she starts swimming. Very apropos.

I thought Nori et al's stuff would be kind of tedious (I've never been super into hobbits or proto-hobbits), but tbh I find everything about it delightful to watch.

Arondir and Bronwyn are maybe the prettiest onscreen pairing I've ever witnessed. Their little theme/motif is also really nice and not overwrought the way the music sometimes got in the first episode. It suits my sense of their story being a bit like marginalia that doesn't exactly fit into the grand sweeping main narrative of Middle-earth, but is getting some spotlight anyway.

And now we've got Celebrimbor for real, with warning bells all over him! (Not literally.) I appreciate that almost the first thing he does is mention Fëanor, and he and Elrond immediately dive into a conversation about the Silmarils and craftsmanship, and Elrond seems deeply ambivalent off the bat. Him saying "So much beauty, and so much pain" about them/Fëanor's craftsmanship while wearing a feathery outfit that is hard not to associate with Elwing is ... yeah. You'd know, Elrond.

Celebrimbor's slightly snarky explanation that he asked for a massive team to build his tower forge thing and Gil-galad "has sent me you, instead" kind of worked for me? Robert Aramayo doesn't look anything like my idea of Elrond but I love his difficult-to-pin-down yet determinedly pleasant performance of Elrond's emotions and mannerisms. I also like Celebrimbor's robes.

And, oh man, seeing Khazad-dûm in its heyday? HELL, YEAH. The music is doing some of the lifting but mostly it's just fucking awesome to see. The show is clearly lingering on it with a lot of love and attention, which it's really nice to see the dwarves getting.

I liked getting references to Aulë from the dwarves (no, it's not what dwarves would ordinarily call him, but it's a reasonable concession to comprehensibility for people who aren't, well, us). During the whole challenge thing, Elrond is referred to as an Elf over and over and over, which I'm kind of :\ about as a firm proponent of Half-Elves Are Not Men or Elves, No Matter What Ultimate Fate They Chose. Elrond seems pretty uncomfortable with it (though that may be more about his relationship with Durin), but also does more or less accept it as a descriptor.

Nori was still trying to figure out the Stranger, which somehow is not boring, and meanwhile her father's ankle breaks or sprains or something as part of festival preparations. The Harfoots collectively treat this as a huge deal and are asking if he'll be able to migrate, which is not exactly framed as super ominous, but definitely seems significant and at least somewhat ominous. Nori is clearly pretty freaked out.

The first part of the episode is sadly a bit sparse on my girl Galadriel (though she got so much attention in the first episode that it's understandable), but we got back to her, still swimming. It'd be a bit unbelievably impressive from other people, but I can believe it for her. She sees the raft of survivors before we do, which I liked as a little detail.

The raft is really spiky, appropriately enough for a raft with Sauron on it. It's kind of hilarious that almost his first line is "Looks can be deceiving." No shit, lmao.

The survivors+"Halbrand" and Galadriel have this brief and slightly weird interchange about Corsairs, which strikes me as an odd reference both geographically and in the time period we're in.

Then there's a SEA WYRM that shows up out of basically nowhere and causes havoc resulting in the deaths of everyone except Sauron Halbrand and Galadriel. A coincidence, I'm sure.

Then we cut back to Elrond and Durin, and finally find out why Durin is so mad at Elrond. It turns out that Elrond basically ignored his existence for 20 years while he was doing ... things, and Elrond didn't even realize it'd been so much time because a couple decades is nbd to him. Angst and other difficulties around different lifespans = one of my most favorite fantasy tropes, so I'm onboard for this particular drama.

It's a little surprising that Elrond of all people would make this mistake, but then again, Elros himself lived so long that 20 years would have been a tiny fraction of his own lifetime, too. (Now I want lifespan angst or anxiety or something with Elros being the one who's "welp, it's really been that long?")

Anyway, I enjoyed how serious and fraught the whole discussion is and then the cut to comedy when Elrond arrives to apologize to Durin's wife, Disa. IDK, I didn't feel it was undercutting Durin as a character or his feelings, even while poking a bit of fun at his sulkiness—e.g., when Disa enthusiastically tells Elrond to make himself comfortable, and Durin is like, "But not too comfortable."

I love Disa's appearance, by and large. The patterning on her outfit is so cool and different. She's generally a delightful character, and I appreciate that while there's an element of calculation to what Elrond is doing, he seems genuinely interested in her and her work. The narrative itself feels really interested in the dwarves and their culture at this point, and I just enjoyed that a lot.

Meanwhile, back to Galadriel and Halbrand/Sauron. It's still really funny to me that there was so much indignation over Eminem Sauron being insufficiently hot, and then actual Sauron turned out to be this currently bedraggled but very conventionally attractive guy.

I like his little head tilt as he's ostensibly figuring out what's going on and his little "You're a deserter, aren't you?" As if he doesn't know who Galadriel is, hah.

When he says "My people have no king," it feels like a pretty blatant call-back to Boromir in Jackson's FOTR, but of course it's inverted, ultimately. Halbrand is a shadow Aragorn, not a shadow Boromir, and is himself (supposedly) the king he's rejecting. I'm not going to go on too much about it because I have a whole post about it here.

Anyway, Galadriel condescending to Sauron is kind of delightful. Sure, she's mistaken in assuming he's mortal. But everyone should condescend to Sauron, actually!

Back to Bronwyn, who is a bit more interesting in this episode, she actually makes it home and tries to convince her village that something is very wrong, but no one believes her. They seem kind of ridiculously stupid, tbh? Maybe not ridiculously—I can believe they would actually respond that way (I lived in the shadow of Mt St Helens for years, I know very well that historically sometimes that's the response to clear warnings of disaster). But come on, people.

Then there's Arondir in the horrifying claustrophobic tunnels with the glimpses of horrific claws. It is very successfully claustrophobic, especially when MICE start running all over him as they're trying to escape. Agh, the special hell. Then he emerges in a pool of water, only the water is super gross also, and he's focusing on the bubbles of something pursuing him only to get grabbed by a different claw monster.

We don't see him again for the entire rest of the episode and that's alarming!

I was taking little notes while I was watching, but at this point that got interrupted and I ended up watching the rest of the episode with other people and didn't take notes. But general thoughts:

Durin's final change of heart wrt Elrond and decision to take Elrond's offer to his father was a bit oddly offscreen, and it's kind of needlessly mysterious about what advantage the dwarves have over the Elves, but the show has already given us enough through both exposition and the behavior of the characters that it's not hard to buy.

Sauron saving Galadriel with Finrod's dagger is like. Hmm. Well. Yeah, that's a lot. I really like the scene of their raft in the storm—not much actually happens apart from it looking cool, but it did look really cool! And I love the imagery of Sauron desperately trying not to be drowned by the wrath of the sea, aka what will actually happen to him! :)))

I love how mysterious the Stranger is and basically everything that Nori and Poppy choose to be. Things like Poppy's "I don't speak firefly!" just work much better for my personal sense of humor than ... like, dwarf-tossing.

Theo's whole deal with the sword is ... menacing in a way where we know enough to know something is Very Wrong and related to Sauron, but not really what's going on with it. And the thing Bronwyn and Theo fought and killed was super freaky. I liked the abrupt cut to Bronwyn showing the decapitated head to the stupid villagers and them being like, "hmm. okay, guess we're moving now."

Aaaand Galadriel and "Halbrand" have been discovered!

#anghraine babbles #tv: lotr #legendarium blogging #long post #elanor brandyfoot #poppy proudfellow #arondir #bronwyn #my little piano: music is magic #celebrimbor #elrond #durin iv #galadriel #elros tar minyatur #disa #sauron #legendarium fanwank #theo #rings of power

[majorbaby]

i think when considering Margaret and her much lauded 'character development' it's less about her developing from a bad person to a good person, but from a narrative device, as she was in MASH 1970, to a three-dimensional character. the former isn't inherently poor writing.

this happened deliberately as the show shifted from satirical plotlines that emphasized the moral bankruptcy of the systems that prop up the war machine to a show about how being in the war wore on the characters individually and changed them as people.

season 4 and onward focus more on individual character drama, highlighting the flaws and virtues of each character, their interiority, their changing relationships with one another and brings in their relationships with offscreen characters - most infamously, Peg and Erin Hunnicutt but also Dr. Pierce Senior, Radar's mother and uncle who eventually passes and Honoria Winchester. Even minor characters get at least one episode that focuses on some offscreen relationship, Mulcahy's sister Kathy and Klinger wife/ex-wife Laverne.

maybe with the (blessed) exception of Frank Burns, I think the function of all the characters changes from 1-3 to 4-11 as the show made this shift.

Trapper is a lancer. we get some glimpses into there being more to him, in Kim and Check-Up - but most of what we see is him performing a specific function, propping up Hawkeye, who in turn props up the messaging of the show. I would have loved to see Trapper's interiority explored more in the later years but I'm not mad about it missing in 1-3 - it's not about him getting "more", he got plenty in terms of what he was created to do. him having 'conflict' with Hawkeye isn't something that would've ever occurred to the writers at that time and you would never hear trapper say something like 'i can't divide myself emotionally' he doesn't have enough of an emotional self to divide.

when it comes to Hawkeye, in 1-3 i think the details of his life beyond what we see of him on screen are extraneous. hence the inconsistencies with his backstory, his sister, his mother, him being form vermont - this stuff just didn't matter back then. focusing on it now can be fun if you're trying to explore the character in fanwork, but the reason Hawkeye's sister (who i've affectioned named 'benjamina pierce') disappears is because they weren't really thinking too hard about her in the first place, you're not supposed to remember her and so the show assumes you won't.

Hawkeye writes home to his father but we don't learn a whole lot about Daniel Pierce at the time, he's only there for Hawkeye to narrate to, that doesn't mean Hawkeye doesn't love him, it's just that the writers don't intend for you to focus on their relationship until at least The Late Captain Pierce.

Other major developments wrt to Daniel happen much later on: he is retconned into being a doctor in the later years when the show wants to care about developing those details of Hawkeye's life and in season 10 we get Sons and Bowlers.

Hawkeye gets a little more character stuff than the rest of the cast because he's the protagonist but there's still a marked shift between 3 and 4, starting with his emotionally charged personal drama re: Trapper - before that, he does have moments where he emotes but it's always to fulfill the show's anti-establishment messaging: Yankee Doodle Doctor, Carry on Hawkeye and yes, even Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde. again, that doesn't mean we can't diagnose him with a laundry list of issues based on that episode when constructing headcanons but his mental state alone can't be divorced from the messaging at this point. "why does he do these things?" asks Henry at the end of Pierce/Hyde, and Trapper replies not that Hawkeye is damaged or hurting or broken (even though he may be all these things) but with the show's central thesis "he took this oath never to stand by and watch people die" - his breakdown directly ties back to the show's criticism of state violence. compare to Bless You Hawkeye, which might've taken place anywhere whenever Hawkeye smelled mouldy pond water.

so if even Hawkeye is more of a device than a character in the early years, what can we say for Margaret?

the Margaret character does her job. the hypocrisy of "fighting for peace" is paralleled perfectly in her relationship with Frank. these are two people who claim to be god-fearing, well-to-do, conservative Americans, but they engage in the same vices as Trapper and Hawkeye: drinking, promiscuity and scheming and worse, Frank and Margaret look down on others for it.

i get why people want something 'more' (really, something 'else) from Margaret and I'm glad we did eventually get that because it was sorely needed, but tbh i adore early Margaret and i think it's a little silly to call her a 'bad person' or 'underdeveloped' - she's just a villain clocking in.

similarly i don't think we're meant to reflect on Hawkeye/Trapper/Henry's philandering as assessments of their character so much as they are clear statements on traditionalism and sexual liberty. you can personally dislike whatever you want in a character but i think the context of the show airing in 1972 when attitudes towards sex, particularly female pleasure, were starting to finally loosen, is relevant.

some people want character drama from MASH and that's their preference, but character drama isn't inherently 'deeper' or 'more complex' than satire. on the contrary some of the writing is so technically strong in the early years, the jokes on-the-ball, the witty criticisms of American foreign policy and the traditional values that uphold it buried within objectively hilarious episodes like Tuttle (where they create 'the perfect American man' except that he's not real and make fools out of ranking officers while they're at it)... I'd argue that that's highly complex.

i don't see the point in getting hung up on the morals of a character who clearly intended to be a villain when judging whether or not they're a 'good' character or not. calling her 'flat' when they're all somewhat 'flat' because the show is not trying to get you overly invested in their personal lives seems unfair to me. same can be said for comparisons of Frank and Charles which are critical of Frank. or my most beloathed criticism: of Henry for being an 'incompetent CO' - that is a feature, not a bug.

criticisms of 'flat' characters in general are definitely valid, but imo only when those characters exist alongside nuanced characters who have rich interiority. since Margaret exists alongside Trapper and Frank, I don't think that critique is valid here. she actually gets a few solid moments where we get the sense that there may be more to her, in Aid Station and Carry On Hawkeye. compare that to episodes that frame her as being entirely sympathetic when she's been a terror to people she holds structural power over: The Nurses or the Birthday Girls - both good episodes in general, but it's another kind of flatness to present a character as being wholly sympathetic when they've turned around and done the very same thing that was done to them to others. just something to consider about how making Margaret 'more nuanced' actually glossed over some of her interesting complexities.

#sorry for the long Hawkeye tangent but i've been thinking about how even he is a narrative device early on #in contrast to how much i see his motivations/desires personalized in the early years #his pursuing sex for example is not meant to tell us that he's hypersexual (though again it's fine to read him that way) #it's meant to tell us he doesn't give a shit about getting married and having 2.5 kids #margaret meta #hawk meta #trapper meta #re: mash

[thisgameissonintendo]

here’s the thing about me + lockwood content

before lockwood & co. i wasn’t really in the mood for editing. yes, i did come up with videos and photo edits but i wasn’t really enjoying it much. it was the same all over again. a new episode - a new video. don’t get me wrong, i loved the show (still do, it’s magnum p.i. i’m talking about) but i’ve been editing that for years now. 

every now and again a show was coming back with a new season. the umbrella academy for example. i did my usual “new season = one edit with number 5“ and then stopped (because there’s not really much content to use when there’s 50 main characters and you’re only willing to sit down to edit one of them). 

then outer banks came back, i thought “hey, time for a new rafe edit“. he wasn’t in it much. i didn’t come up with a video. fine, okay, back to magnum p.i. (which i still LOVE to death, don’t get me wrong, i would always come up with edits, it’s my 2nd favorite show now) but sometimes it’s nice to have different characters to work with. 

wednesday was released and i really liked that, especially tyler. i made some photo edits and a few videos (4 or something). and what then? back to the old routine? 

no, lockwood & co. was out. i remembered i had seen the trailer a while ago and liked it so i clicked ‘play‘. and look where we are now. i don’t know the last time one character has sparkled any interested in me and got me this motivated. a new one as well, might i add. i don’t do well with new characters since i always have to kinda let them get to me first, you know. it’s quite the process, too, when you want to edit. you have to get the episodes, the scenes you wanna use, you have to select 0.04 seconds from episode 1 and then 0.02 seconds from episode 8 because you think they could work really well together. so it’s a lot to think about even for short videos or photo edits (find the right episode for a certain scene, take screenshots, have ideas of what you wanna do with that screenshot, find good fonts, effects,…) i think you get me. it takes a lot of dedication (for me) to accept a character. and it’s not like i don’t like most of them. i like a lot. for example i’ve enjoyed characters from titans, fate: the winx saga, the sandman, hsmtmts and so on. 

so, what i usually do when i watch a new show is play it in the background. i don’t know any character - i’m not interested in any of them. i press ‘play’ and scroll through instagram or twitter. however with lockwood & co., i didn’t. i had my phone sitting right next to me but i didn’t click on instagram. i didn’t click on twitter. i actually watched the show from the first second on. for some reason it was very special to me, i can’t explain it. it felt like i had found THE show (and character) for me. the one show that could get me back into editing, actually loving what i do and create. and it did. look where i am now. 

i’m very emotional about this, i cannot even find proper words to express how thankful i am for all of this. i wake up in the morning and am excited about the evening because that’s the time of day i 1) have time to re-watch the show 2) read the books (again) or 3) edit. so this whole saving campaign is not only a matter of stopping netfl** bullshit with unnecessary cancelations, it’s also a matter of heart for me. lockwood & co. is my comfort show. i’ve found it after so many years and i didn’t even know i needed one but i did. lockwood & co. is not your ‘typical ghost show’. lockwood is not your typical good-looking, dick-ish protagonist, he’s way more. he’s the reason i’m doing all of this. i’m trying my best to help with whatever i can because they all deserve to come back for at least one more season. so, every day i stay up until 3-4am, get up at 9am the same day and i don’t regret a single thing. i wanna do this. and i know we can all help them get a new season, together.  

it’s been four months (and two days) since the release of lockwood & co. in these four months i’ve been the most creative i’ve ever been, i’ve met the most kind people on social media and i’ve never loved editing more than i do now. and all thanks to anthony lockwood.

#i don't think anyone will read this until the end but i was emotional #and i needed to write it down #i'm not good with words and mumble most of the time #but yeah i love that show #lockwood #lockwood & co #lockwood & co. netflix #lockwood and co #lockwood and co netflix #l&co #l&co. netflix #anthony lockwood

[dashboarddiaries]

DASHBOARD DIARIES, EPISODE 1 - Tumblr, the Supernatural Website

In our inaugural episode, we delve into our own Tumblr origin stories and skim the surface of one of Tumblr's longest lasting fandoms: Supernatural. Warning: many, many incorrect things are said about Supernatural in this episode. Proceed at your own risk. And drop questions/comments/corrections about ways Dean Winchester has died in our ask box or email us at [email protected]!

Find the posts discussed in this episode in this tag!

Credits and transcript under the cut. You can find transcripts for this, and every other episode, here.

Dashboard Diaries is a production of Atypical Artists, hosted by Lauren Shippen and Cherokee McAnelly. Our theme was composed by Lauren Shippen and mixed by Brandon Grugle. Art by Shae McMullin. Transcription (which can be found on our Tumblr) by Laudable.

[intro music]

Lauren: Hello, last of the classically trained tumblr’inas. I’m Lauren Shippen, professional writer, and veteran stucky shipper, who is surrounded by not one, not two, but three artistic renderings of the line, “I’ll be with you until the end of the line.” I like to surround myself in stucky love.

Cherokee: I am Cherokee McAnelly, professional tumblr’er and veteran Twihard, who once brought a team threesome sign to a midnight viewing of Eclipse. And I’ve also re-blogged more than 50,000 posts not all about Twilight, but there’s an influence. 

Lauren: Wow. That’s, that is hefty. 

Cherokee: You know ... Can’t stop. Won’t stop. 

Lauren: And this is Dashboard Diaries, your deep dive guide into the wild, wonderful world of Tumblr. And this is our first episode, Cherokee. 

Cherokee: I’m excited. Are you excited?

Lauren: Me too. I’m so excited.

Cherokee: I feel great. (laughs)

Lauren: And for this first week, this Episode Zero, if you will, we’re gonna hit on some Tumblr classics and also talk about our own relationship to this wonderful website. I guess to start us off, Cherokee, do you want to tell me about what the last week on Tumblr was like for you?

Cherokee: Absolutely. 

Lauren: We’ll start there and we’ll work our way back to the origin story. 

Cherokee: I would love nothing more, Lauren. So, this has been a big week on Tumblr, as it always is. Last week, Stranger Things - Part II premiere. And we did a big Stranger Things takeover. It was fun. I spent my entire day re-blogging community posts about Stranger Things. And this week has really been about Eddie. Big Eddie week, I would say.

Lauren: Yep.

Cherokee: And on top of that, and most recently, Thor: Love and Thunder came out today.

Lauren: Yes.

Cherokee: I have not seen it yet. But I did do some light scrolling to prepare for this and I have sadly seen spoilers, but I’m kind of okay with it just because I feel a little more attached now. 

Lauren: Yeah, that is a risk that we take when we scroll our dash. And a risk you take listening to this podcast. Let’s be honest. We might get into some spoiler territory. I also saw a bunch of Stranger Things stuff this past week. And I did watch the entire Volume II of Stranger Things in, like, a day. So, I was prepared to dive into the Tumblr world. And have been seeing mostly Eddie.

Cherokee: Yeah.

Lauren: A lot of love for Eddie. 

Cherokee: I think Eddie is perhaps blorbo of the week?

[fanfare music]

Lauren: He might be.

Cherokee: He’s big. I feel attached to Eddie. I also watched Stranger Things Part II in one sitting and have a lot of emotions about it.

Lauren: Yeah. (laughs)

Cherokee: Yeah. 

Lauren: I ... Oh man, speaking of a lot of emotions. I guess this is a little bit of a spoiler for a specific scene in Stranger Things Volume II finale. The scene with Max and Lucas and the house ... That got me real good. I was crying pretty hard at that. Just some fantastic acting from those two actors.

Cherokee: Oh my gosh, truly incredible. I did have to pause it to breathe a couple times. Sometimes when scenes are a little too intense-

Lauren: Mm hmm (Affirmative)

Cherokee: ... intense, you take a step back, take a moment, before ...

Lauren: Yeah, you maybe gotta stand up and walk around your apartment. Take a lap before coming back to it.

Cherokee: And that’s when Vecna gets you. That’s when you’re most vulnerable.

Lauren: Yes. Yeah. 

Cherokee: What would your Vecna song be? What would get you out of The Upside Down?

Lauren: I’ve been listening to the Boys of Summer cover by Atari a lot recently. (laughs) 

Cherokee: Specific and I love it.

Lauren: Yeah, so I feel like that could get me out of Vecna’s grip in the here and now. That’s what I’m feeling currently. What about you?

Cherokee: Well, I’ll preface with roughly quoting a Tumblr post, which said if I’m stuck in The Upside Down, just let me go because I can’t for the lift of me pick one song. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: And honest ... there are two. And I’m still gonna say two. I think they would be equal. Dreams, by The Cranberries. 

Lauren: Oh, great song.

Cherokee: And Torn, by Natalie Imbruglia. 

Lauren: Oh! Great song!

Cherokee: Two favs. I think those would help me get out.

Lauren: A strong showing from the ‘90s here in this podcast recording today.

Cherokee: Yeah. I mean, always. I would always run back to ‘90s. What, ‘90s kind of like rock pop. Pop rock? I don’t know. I love The Cranberries. 

Lauren: Yeah.

Cherokee: And I love Torn, by Natalie Imbruglia. I couldn’t name another one of her songs but Torn, I mean, that’s all you need.

Lauren: That’s all you need. That’s all you need.

Cherokee: Look at that. Yes. 

Lauren: We are two nineties babies. 

Cherokee: On the same wavelength.

Lauren: And we understand each other. (laughs) 

Cherokee: (laughs) 

Lauren: While we’re delving into the depths of our past, I feel because it’s our first episode, we should talk about our Tumblr bona fide’s. You know? How long have you been on the site? What has your relationship to the site been? Give me the whole bio. 

Cherokee: Oh, we go way back. We’ve had ups. We’ve had downs. We’ve had preppy eras.

Lauren: Sure. (laughs)

Cherokee: (laughs) 

Lauren: The hipster, girly things phase of Tumbler.

Cherokee: Yes. I’ve changed now. Just not for the better, unfortunately. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: I actually was going back on my archive to prepare for this pilot recording and I realized I’ve been on Tumblr ten and a half years now. So, big anniversary.

Lauren: (whistles)

Cherokee: I joined in January of 2012.

Lauren: Wow.

Cherokee: And ...

Lauren: Congratulations.

Cherokee: I mean, thank you. 

Lauren: Ten years.

Cherokee: It’s been an honor, really, to haunt the halls of the dashboard. (laughs) If you will. But yeah, I actually looked back at my first ever post was an extremely high contrast early Instagram, like square photo of the beach that I’d added the Veranda filter onto or something. You know? 

Lauren: Oh, perfect.

Cherokee: I feel like the perfect way to kick myself off, or kick it off on Tumblr. I actually got on Tumblr because my freshman year of college I decided, “Look, I’m going to reinvent myself.” She’s different. She’s 18. She lives in New York now. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: My style needed to change, too. And I was saving inspo for outfits and whatever in a Word document like a collage. 

Lauren: Oh ... my ... goodness.

Cherokee: Yes. And my freshman college roommate who is my best friend to this day ... So, she introduced me to Tumblr ... said, “What the hell are you doing?” And I was like, “Oh-“

Lauren: [crosstalk 00:06:23]

Cherokee: “I think I need a room transfer if you’re going to continue doing whatever this is.” 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: And she was like, “You’re gonna be shocked. I need to tell you about Tumblr.”

Lauren: What a good friend.

Cherokee: And so, yeah. And then I got on Tumblr and never stopped. And have not stopped as it turns out.

Lauren: And now work for Tumblr. 

Cherokee: Yeah.

Lauren: I mean, you’ve turned that love of Tumblr into a job.

Cherokee: Indeed I did. They can’t get rid of me. They tried. Not actually. So, essentially I interned there my senior year of college and they didn’t have any open roles after I left and I really wanted to work there. So, I essentially just kept refreshing the jobs page and going to every single event possible. Like, they had happy hours, they had stuff, I was there all the time. My new internship was a few blocks down the street. And finally a job role opened. I applied within probably seconds of it opening. 

Lauren: Incredible.

Cherokee: And thankfully got hired as the on-boarding associate. 

Lauren: Ooh.

Cherokee: When they were presenting me at All Team, our team meeting where they introduce new people, multiple people came up after and were like, “You left after your internship? We were not aware, ‘cause you are always here.” 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: (laughs) And so that is the story of how I got my job at Tumblr. I just hung around enough honestly. (laughs) Everyone interviewing me was like, “You seem dedicated enough. I don’t really have many questions for you. I feel like you get it. You’re here anyway. So, we might as well add you to payroll.” 

Lauren: Yeah, might as well put you to work. 

Cherokee: Yeah. How about you?

Lauren: I have been on Tumblr a long time. I joined sometime in late 2008, early 2009. So, it’s been 13 or 14 years for me on this website. And I never left. I never left. And that’s partly because I just sort of move from hyper fixation to hyper fixation. So, I always have a fandom that I’m obsessing over. 

But I also just really like the vibes in there. You know? Is the one social media that I’ve had since I was a teenager that I never want to give up. And I also just love diving into parts of Tumblr that I’m not necessarily a community member of. Many years ago now at this point, this would have been 2013, 2014 through 2016, 2017, I had a YouTube series, which you can no longer find, because I scrubbed it from the internet, called “According to Tumblr,” which was me trying to explain Tumblr fandom’s or trying to explain TV shows, books series, et cetera, based on what I was reading in the Tumblr tag. So, trying to summarize TV shows basically based on what the fandom is talking about. 

So, it was a humorous series about differences between fandom and canon and all of that kind of stuff. And that’s sort of also how this podcast started. (laughs) Because I came to you a couple months ago and then said, “I kind of wanna bring this back in some form,” and you were so game. Because you feel as passionately about Tumblr as I do. 

Cherokee: No, I am obsessed with Tumblr. It is unfortunately/fortunately imbedded in my personality at this point.

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: I love it so much. I talk about it all the time. My friends are definitely ... which my entire friend group, by the way, were/are Tumblr employees largely. 

Lauren: Right, of course.

Cherokee: We stick together. But yeah, they’re probably very tired of me talking about Tumblr constantly. Because it’s, “What’s going on this week? Guess what? Miss Marvel premiered.” Whatever it is, I’ve already ... (laughs)

Lauren: Yeah. 

Cherokee: So, yeah, I’m really excited to be really earnest with you biweekly.

Lauren: And while you work for Tumblr, this is not an official Tumblr podcast. I feel like we should mention that disclaimer. But it’s got the Tumblr stamp of approval, as it were. They’re happy we’re doing it.

Cherokee: Yeah, it’s like a friendship.

Lauren: They’re into it.

Cherokee: Yeah.

Lauren: It is.

Cherokee: But yeah, this is just me fangirling over the place that I already work, as it turns out. But this is not an advertisement, folks. This is just being miley. 

Lauren: Yeah. Pure earnest excitement. All Tumblr, all the time. 

Cherokee: Always be fixating. 

Lauren: Always be fixating. Oh, that’s great. We should make a sticker with that.

Cherokee: Absolutely. We could add it to the poster, the little [crosstalk 00:10:48].

Lauren: Oh, yes. Yeah. Please go and look at our art. We will post the banner version of it because it is so gorgeous. Shay McMullen, our artist, put all of these beautiful little Tumblr jokes in the art and it’s incredible. And I keep staring at it because I love it so much. 

Cherokee: It really is wonderful. I almost made it my LinkedIN header and I was thinking, “Is that too far, perhaps?” It’s not my whole identity, maybe? It was a consideration, though. Maybe I’ll just make it my computer background to really ... 

Lauren: Yeah. I mean, listen ...

Cherokee: Experience it.

Lauren: This is the first episode. There’s plenty of time. All right. One segment that we are going to be doing repeatedly on this show is dashboard confessionals. 

[guitar riff]

Which is when we dive into our own Tumblr archive and pick something at random that we were blogging about X years ago on this date or on any random date. So, Cherokee, what do you have for me?

Cherokee: I have something that I also just Slacked to you, or messaged to you, via Zoom so that you can experience it as well. 

Lauren: Excellent. (laughs)

Cherokee: It is an oldie but a goodie. The post is, “I love high contrast photos of fruit floating threateningly in the night.” I’m sure if you’ve been on Tumblr for any number of hours you have likely seen this one. 

Lauren: Mm hmm (Affirmative).

Cherokee: And someone replies, “I don’t believe such a thing exists.” And Coco Lou who is the OP said, “Of course it does exist,” and shared some high contrast photos of fruit floating threateningly in the night. Which I think should also perhaps be a tongue twister that people do before, I don’t know, recording a podcast.

Lauren: No kidding. It’s really amazing how it’s impossible to image based on the description what that photo would look like, and then you see the photo and you’re like, “Oh yeah, that is fruit floating threatening in the night.”

Cherokee: Obviously. Yeah. (laughs)

Lauren: That’s exactly what that is. 

Cherokee: Honestly, it may be one of my favorite classic Tumblr posts. I think I re-blogged this in 2013. 

Lauren: It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it. Thank you for bringing it back into my life. Because I do very much enjoy it.

Cherokee: You’re so welcome, to be threatened by that fruit. My gift to you.

Lauren: It’s very threatening. 

Cherokee: And we will be re-blogging it to DashboardDiaries.Tumblr.com – so you, too, can be threatened by fruit floating in the night.

Lauren: (laughs) So, seven years ago I re-blogged on this day a compilation of Jean Ralphio singing. I will also re-blog that to our DashboardDiaries.Tumblr.com because it is excellent. If you are unfamiliar with Jean Ralphio, he is Ben Schwartz’s character from Parks and Rec. He is probably most famous for, “the worst.” That’s kind of his tagline. And also, “Don’t be suspicious.” Don’t Be Suspicious with Jenny Slate. It’s fantastic. Just so many good moments. 

Cherokee: I love Jean Ralphio and Ben Schwartz. That character ... one of my all time favorite television characters, to be honest. 

Lauren: I mean, so meme-able. 

Cherokee: So meme-able. 

Lauren: Even now, today, in 2022 we are still meme’ing Jean Ralphio and I think that’s beautiful. What was your very first fandom on Tumblr would you say, that you kind of participated in or were very active as a viewer?

Cherokee: Hmm. Very first fandom that I participated in on Tumblr ... Gosh, what a multilayered question. Because honestly my first few years on Tumblr I was want to say in the preppy lifestyle fandom. 

Lauren: Mm hmm (Affirmative).

Cherokee: I re-blogged all the, “If you’re a preppy blog follow this.” And that was my jam. But I think when I started actually working at Tumblr, which was in 2014 and I became full time in 2015. That was when a lot of ... I think that was around the time that Thor: Ragnarok came out in 2016. And so the MCU, especially Taika Waititi and his tie in to the MCU. I really participated very, very actively in that fandom. And I would also say another fandom that is a little, I don’t know ... I don’t know if you would even consider it a fandom. I would. I think the 2000s and ‘90s fandom, in general. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cherokee: Like, 2000 ish is one of my favorite Tumblr’s. And I just really love the kind of like throwback, Lindsay McGuire, and That’s So Raven kind of content.

Lauren: Yeah.

Cherokee: I think the nostalgia in 2000 ish fandom is the one that really I started with and have continued through. But if we’re talking about specifics I would say the MCU just in general I think that me starting, working at Tumblr and being just really into the MCU kind of probably aligned very well. [crosstalk 00:15:45]

Lauren: MCU is a great fandom to be on Tumblr for because, what, it’s been around for as long as Tumblr has. I mean, because Iron Man came out in 2008 and Tumblr launched in, what, 2007, 2008? So, they come hand in hand. And also there’s always something going on which is really nice. There’s always a new thing being added to the MCU. Which is fabulous.

Cherokee: Always something MC-new.

Lauren: (laughs) In case it’s not clear by this point, Cherokee will be the pun captain of this show. 

Cherokee: I apologize.

Lauren: You are so good at coming up with puns. No, it’s great. I love it. I love it.

Cherokee: No, it’s a passion, I would say. If I was in that fandom, too, I would say ... I mean, I was once a semi finalist at the Punderdome, not to brag. 

Lauren: Is that a thing? Are you making another pun or is this is a real thing?

Cherokee: It is a thing. No, unfortunately, it is a thing, and it is a thing I’ve done multiple times. 

Lauren: Please explain this to me.

Cherokee: (laughs) So, the Punderdome, it was, pre pandemic, I’m not sure if it’s still happening, but every Tuesday in Brooklyn there was this free-for-all pun competition. It went for four hours. Anyone could join-

Lauren: Oh ... my ... god.

Cherokee: ... you had to ... But there were people who had been punning there monthly for years. And essentially how it worked was everyone, you’re called up on stage in kind of like waves, groups of six, and you’re given a topic. For example, “old Hollywood.” And you have a whiteboard and you have 90 seconds to write down as many puns as you can think of that tie into this and then you have to go up and say your puns, but in kind of like a cohesive story kind of way. 

So, you would be like, “I was walking down the Marilyn Mon-road today. And what did I see but the Holly woods.” You know? That kind of-

Lauren: Oh my gosh. 

Cherokee: ... thing. And it was judged by clapping, essentially. So, a very scientific way to judge it. And the prizes were generally made for TV or “as seen on TV stuff. Really random shit. 

Lauren: That’s perfect. 

Cherokee: It was excellent in every way. I really actually like being a semifinalist because it did sometimes go till 11:30 at night on a Tuesday and semifinalists, you know, if you get cut you’re out by 9:30, which was a respectable Tuesday evening, I feel.

Lauren: Oh my goodness. 

Cherokee: But I hope one day to become a Punderdome winner. That would really be my biggest accomplishment.

Lauren: A real feather in your cap. 

Cherokee: Yeah. (laughs)

Lauren: (laughs) That is the most specific form of improve I’ve ever heard of in my life. I love that. 

Cherokee: I didn’t even put the two together and now I’m realizing, yeah, it’s just ... Which honestly, if I was going to get into any specific kind of comedy or improve it would be punning. I’m sure. We’ve gotten so sidetracked and I apologize. What were we ... Oh, we were on fandom’s.

Lauren: First fandom’s.

Cherokee: What was your first fandom, if not the punning fandom, Lauren?

Lauren: (laughs) Deep, deep into the punning fandom. I was also very much in not necessarily the preppy side of Tumblr but kind of the aesthetic hipster side of Tumblr. I was really into nice photos and music. I was blogging a lot about music. And I didn’t really get into fandom Tumblr until I guess it had been early middle or college. BBC Sherlock came out in 2010. End of 2010 it came out in America. Because I remember I watched it over Christmas break. And that is absolutely my first Tumblr fandom. It was a slow burn at first. You know? After the first season I dove into some fan fic and dove into following some Sherlock blogs, but there wasn’t a ton of activity going on yet. And then by the end of season two it was just enormous. And I would say SuperWhoLock is a massive part of Tumblr culture. And we’re gonna get to a big part of that later on. 

But the Lock part of SuperWhoLock was definitely my initial interaction with SuperWhoLock and also my main fandom. I was not necessarily a very active blogger within the Sherlock fandom, but I followed a bunch. I re-blogged a bunch. I made a couple of memes that did okay notes wise. I won’t tell you which memes they were because then you’ll be able to find all of my old blogs. But, yeah, I had a great time. And I am sure that one of these days we will do an episode on the Johnlock conspiracy because that is a huge part of Tumblr lore. And boy was I inside of that when it was all happening. An insider’s perspective. 

Cherokee: I cannot wait for the expose episode on that one. As an outsider, I have thoughts as well of course. Well, an inside-outsider I would say to the SuperWhoLock community. So, you started with Lock and then did you go to Super or Who next?

Lauren: I have always been a scattered viewer of Who. I have not seen every episode. I have seen some episodes of every Doctor. And I’m absolutely going to jump in and watch the new one, because Mizero Ncuti Gatwa from Sex Education, the new doctor, is amazing. I’m obsessed with this character in Sex Education. So, I’m very excited about that. But, yeah, my next fandom of the SuperWhoLock that I dove deep into was our main topic for today. 

[game show trill]

Supernatural.

Cherokee: Woo! A show I know so much about. 

Lauren: So, my relationship with Supernatural ... For those of you that don’t know what Supernatural is ... (laughs) ... First of all, how did you find this podcast? 

Cherokee: Are you okay?

Lauren: And second of all, are you okay? Did you just wake up from a coma? Supernatural is a television show that ran on the WB/EW for 15 years. It ended last year. And is a huge, huge part, even to this day, post the show being on, a massive part of Tumblr culture. And I hadn’t seen the show until about 2016, 2017. But the first video I ever did for recording Tumblr, this YouTube series I used to do, was me trying to explain what I thought the plot of Supernatural was as just as passive Tumblr user who wasn’t even following any Supernatural blogs but still absorbed a lot of Supernatural. 

So, we thought for our first episode of the show it would be fun to have Cherokee do the same thing and have you try to explain the plot of Supernatural to me based on Tumblr and as somebody who has never actually seen more than a handful of episodes of the show. Right?

Cherokee: Yes. So, I’ll give you a little context on my experience with Supernatural, ‘cause it does go way back despite me not seeing the vast majority of episodes.

Lauren: We all go way back with Supernatural.

Cherokee: Yeah. If you’ve been on Tumblr for more than a minute or so you go way back with Supernatural. You’re part of the community, I really think. And it is an open and accepting wayward community. I know some things. 

Lauren: Oh yeah, you know some things. 

Cherokee: (laughs) So, essentially, my first thing I ever did when I started at Tumblr, my first big kind of partnership entertainment kind of campaign was with Misha Collins for Dish Whiz which is the Greatest International Scavenger hunt the world has ever seen, if you’re not familiar. And he does this big scavenger hunt and so we decided to do a virtual one on Tumblr during a Supernatural convention. 

Lauren: [inaudible 00:23:14]

Cherokee: And so we were doing this big 48 hour massive scavenger hunt with a whole bunch of the cast of Supernatural involved and people from other shows like Once Upon a Time and shows like that, I think William Shatner briefly was almost involved. He didn’t end up being involved, but that was going to be really exciting. But anyway, so I went to this Supernatural convention and spent 48 hours locked in a conference room with Misha Collins. Locked ... no, I was willingly having a great time in this conference room. But essentially running this scavenger hunt. And so one of my co-workers, the great Amanda Brenan, who you also may – if you’ve been on Tumblr for a while – be familiar with.

Lauren: Love Amanda!

Cherokee: We love Amanda.

Lauren: She’s fantastic.

Cherokee: She’s a gem. Our meme librarian was her title at the time. I think it might still continue to be.

Lauren: Incredible. 

Cherokee: Icon. And she is also a huge Supernatural fan. She said, “Look, you can’t go to this unless you have seen key Supernatural episodes.” So, this was back in 2016. I can’t even remember the specific episode she showed me anymore. I think it was maybe the first episode and then a few ... I think she picked five and we booked a conference room at the Tumblr office and piled in. And she would pause it-

Lauren: That’s incredible.

Cherokee: ... and be like, “Okay, this is this character. He’s a cinnamon bun.” (laughs)

Lauren: (laughs) 

Cherokee: And so that’s kind of the experience that I have so far for Supernatural. I’ve seen probably six to seven episodes in total.

Lauren: Okay. All right. And spent a day in a conference room with Misha Collins. 

Cherokee: Yes, which is all the Supernatural knowledge you need, really. I feel like I got it by osmosis. 

Lauren: I mean, honestly. I do feel like we should both make a disclaimer that we both have worked with Misha Collins personally. 

Cherokee: Hi, Misha!

Lauren: Hi, Misha! I was literally speaking to him yesterday about Bridgewater, season two. I write a podcast that Misha stars in. He is the sweetest man on the planet. Just absolutely great. It’s always a nice thing to discover that a Tumblr fav is a fav for a good reason. He’s just a lovely person. 

Cherokee: Truly such a gem. Have loved the few times that I’ve gotten to work with him. And I am so sorry, Misha, for not having seen every episode of Supernatural. I’ll do better.

Lauren: (laughs) There are a lot of them. 

Cherokee: Yes. It’s a process. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You know?

Lauren: It really is.

Cherokee: If I start now I can be done by the time I’m 40. 

Lauren: Exactly. Just pace it out. 

Cherokee: Yeah, exactly.

Lauren: So, I mean, based on those six to seven episodes that you’ve seen of Supernatural and your many years on Tumblr, give me the highlights? What is Supernatural about? What are the big moments? Let’s go. 

Cherokee: Okay. So, Supernatural is about two brothers: Dean and the other brother. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: Who’s mom dies on the ceiling and then ... by fire. And then decide that they must ... They are demon fighters or they must fight demons or they want to find who killed their mom. I think their dad is briefly involved. I think he comes in at one point. They have a car. It’s an Impala. It’s gray.

Lauren: Mm hmm (Affirmative).

Cherokee: No, brownish? Beige? They have a car. It’s an Impala. They like the song, “Carry On Wayward Son.” And in every episode they go around slaying the monster of the week, or the demon of the week, but apparently after season two or three it’s less demon of the week and more these big Heaven/Hell kind of threats, big existential threats, all the demons have arrived. And then there’s Misha who plays Castiel, who is an angel of ... he’s an angel. And he comes down in a trench coat and I can’t decide if he helps or hinders them. I think it might be a mix of the two. So, he’s around and there’s a big ship, Destiel which is Dean and Castiel, which became vaguely canon on November 5th, 2019. 

Lauren: I thought it was 2020.

Cherokee: 2020? Okay, sooner than I thought.

Lauren: It was 2020, because it was also election day. 

Cherokee: Oh, god.

Lauren: Or it was the Thursday after election day. Right? It was when ... the pandemic. We’ll get to that. We’ll get to November 5th. 

Cherokee: So, yeah. Remember, remember, the fifth of November. 

Lauren: Exactly.

Cherokee: So, they fight these demons and there’s like purgatory, I think some of them may be stuck in it. There’s a lot of puzzles and clues I think. There’s some relics from the dead. Osric Chau plays Kevin Tran who can read the Bible. I forget what his thing is. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: (laughs) And he sadly dies, RIP. And I think that they really love Kevin Trans because that’s a big plot point as well. I saw those episodes and it’s been a minute. And so anyway, yeah. Dean and, god, what is the other brother’s name. I swear I genuinely know.

Lauren: Oh my god, did you legitimately forget?

Cherokee: I legitimately ... I’m trying to remember. I’m like, god, I know this. But my brain just keeps being like, “Dean and Eddie.” Which obviously it isn’t ... I’m merging Stranger Things. But it’s Jared and Jensen and Misha and they’re all buddies. How did I do?

Lauren: So, I was taking notes on my phone during that. Because there were so many things that ... it’s so funny, there were so many things that you said that were so similar to the way that I described supernatural, as a person who hadn’t seen it. Which that video actually is still online and I will share it on our Tumblr because I think it will be a funny comparison point of how I define Supernatural based off of Tumblr back in 2014. Obviously, the show wasn’t over yet, so you had more context. I think my favorite thing is the idea that the Impala is beige. (laughs) 

Cherokee: Is it not? What color is it?

Lauren: No, it’s black.

Cherokee: Oh. (laughs) I think I’ve been in it.

Lauren: Oh my god, Cherokee. So, the Impala, “Baby,” as she’s known, thank you very much.

Cherokee: Beige-by. 

Lauren: (laughs) Is a black Chevy Impala that is mostly driven by Dean, although sometimes Sam, the other brother, does drive it. 

Cherokee: That word had completely left my head. I never would have gotten “Sam.” 

Lauren: It’s so funny. Yeah, I would say that probably ... Obviously there are Sam girls out there, we love you, we love all the characters, we love everybody who loves the show. But I would say, at least in my circles, I think Dean is probably the main borbo of the two brothers on Tumblr. And then of course Castiel who’s name you got right. I, having only seen it typed out, thought it ... I pronounced it CAST-YEEL. He is an angel. He’s the angel of Thursdays in actual Christian lore Castiel is the angel of Thursdays. I don’t know if that ever comes up in Supernatural or not. Not to my memory. 

Yeah, I think actually helping and hindering is a good description of Cas. He normally ... I mean, he usually helps. He’s definitely on Team Freewill as it’s known, which is the three of them, and then eventually Satan’s son, Jack, which is a whole other thing ... but sometimes Cas get possessed by Leviathans or Satan or goes crazy, or what have you.

Cherokee: It happens to the best of us.

Lauren: It happens to the best of us. Everybody in the show is possessed at some point. And which is fun, because you get to see the actors try different things, which is always exciting. And, oh my gosh, what else did you say? Oh yeah, Kevin’s skill being able to read the Bible. You’re not wrong, but that’s just the funniest way to phrase it. As if the Bible is something that only certain people are allowed to read. (laughs) 

Cherokee: It’s like the Declaration of Independence in National Treasure where it’s like secret codes.

Lauren: Well, I mean, that’s actually pretty close. Kevin is a prophet. And so he can read angel texts basically and he hears voices. It’s been a couple seasons since that was a thing. So, I’m forgetting the finer points of that plot. But I would say you did pretty well. I mean, you got the big stuff. They do go to Purgatory, or rather Dean and Cas go to Purgatory at one point.

Oh and then Dean and Cas go back to Purgatory in the final season to get a flower. That’s a very emotional episode. But I don’t know that Sam ever goes to Purgatory. He does go to Hell. But ...

Cherokee: Who’s the one who dies all the time? Is that Dean?

Lauren: Dean. Yes. 

Cherokee: Yeah.

Lauren: Dean dies ... I think the count is like 157 times or something like that. I forget exactly what it is.

Cherokee: Yeah. Normal. 

Lauren: About 100 of those happen in one episode, to be fair.

Cherokee: Which, I have seen that episode. 

Lauren: Okay, mystery spot. 

Cherokee: I’ve seen the episode, the meta episode where they’re on the set of Supernatural. 

Lauren: Oh yeah.

Cherokee: You know what I mean?

Lauren: Mm hmm (Affirmative).

Cherokee: And I did enjoy that one. I’ve enjoyed every episode I’ve seen. It is very enjoyable to watch. 

Lauren: And over 300+ episodes. They really hit every possible genre, fun trope, weird upside down world, I mean, they do everything. They go to a Supernatural convention. They see a fan fiction musical of their own lives. They fight god. It’s a whole thing. This show has everything. It really has everything. 

Cherokee: It must have been ... like, what a fun project to work on for 15 seasons. To be able to think of every potential story and do the meta fandom driven episodes. I mean-

Lauren: Yes.

Cherokee: ... that must have been so much fun to be like, “How weird can we get? What can we do here?” Especially because you have this dedicated audience who loves it and is like, “Yeah, get weird. Try something. When is the musical episode?” You know?

Lauren: Yeah, exactly.

Cherokee: And so, yeah, that’s what I really obviously having an embarrassing lack of knowledge about Supernatural despite having been chronically on Tumblr for ten years. I really love the Supernatural fandom and have jumped at every opportunity I’ve gotten to do something with Misha or just any Supernatural related anything, because it’s always just so much fun and everyone is just having the time of their lives, honestly.

Lauren: Yes. 

Cherokee: I mean, even at the conventions with the karaoke and everyone dresses up. Everyone is so much fun. It’s, yeah. It’s wonderful. It’s a really wonderful community. And I love that it kind of continues, it’s continued on. It will continue on. Destiel continues to be one of the top ships on Tumblr. Supernatural is consistently one of the biggest TV shows talked about. I really love that it’s taken on a life of its own. Maybe Season 15 closed but the show isn’t over. And the stories definitely aren’t. 

Lauren: Exactly. And there is a prequel show coming, we should mention. The Winchester is on the CW/EW. Jensen Ackles, who plays Dean, is producing it and narrating it. But you’re so right. It is its own thing in such a beautiful way. Destiel is not only one of the top ships on Tumblr consistently, but also the most fic’d ship on AO3. As far as I know, I think sometime early this year or late last year it crossed over 100,000 fan fics on AO3 for just the Destiel tag. 

Cherokee: Incredible. 

Lauren: Which is amazing.

Cherokee: I am a super fan of the Supernatural fandom. I think that is the perfect way-

Lauren: Yes.

Cherokee: ... to put where I fall in this equation. I really love ... it is just wonderful that so many people are experiencing these characters and there is so much source material, so you can really-

Lauren: Yes.

Cherokee: You really can kind of guess and know how someone will react, how someone would handle a situation, which means there are infinite stories that can be told from infinite POV’s. No wonder there’s a 100k fics on AO3. That’s incredible. Has anyone read them all? This is a challenge. Someone?

Lauren: Yes, please report back to us.

Cherokee: Yeah. (laughs) We will do [crosstalk 00:35:20]

Lauren: [email protected] – email us! Well, yeah, and also there is a running joke on Tumblr that there’s a Supernatural gif for any situation, any kind of reaction, and it’s true because everything has happened on that show. And not only do I sort of think of, when I think of early days of being on Tumblr and getting to the fandom side of things, I think about Supernatural gifs, but I also think of November 5th as in some ways the beginning of our current Tumblr renaissance.

I want to hear what you were doing on November 5th. Because I remember where I was. And to me it still sticks out in my head as one of the most fun nights I’ve had on Tumblr ... maybe only with the weekend of Dash Con. But this was November 5th, 2020. So, we’re, what, six, seven months into the pandemic. I am in my one bedroom apartment in LA that I have been inside of for eight months straight without leaving. And the presidential election ... very, very high stress presidential election has taken place two days before, but we don’t have results yet because of the pandemic slowing all of the results down. 

So, I’m stressed out of my mind. And me and my partner sit down to watch Supernatural. And watched the episode. Loved the episode. It’s a great time had by all. And then I got on Tumblr. And between the US politics and Destiel going canon, or somewhat canon, and everybody having the most cabin fever ever – just the memes were off the charts. The sort of 15 year mass catharsis that was being experienced all at once on Tumblr was unmatched. I mean, it was just the absolute fourth wall breaking, meltdown, excitement that was happening on that platform. I can’t quantify it. It was beautiful.

Cherokee: What a perfect way to put it. I think, yeah, as someone who is obviously not in the Supernatural fandom, but is a fan of the Supernatural fandom, I was obviously on Tumblr while this was happening. I knew the finale was that night. And our fandom blog went ...

Lauren: It was the third to last episode, not the finale.

Cherokee: Oh, it was the third to last episode. 

Lauren: Yep.

Cherokee: See, I’m over here on November 20th. Oh my gosh. I apologize for not realizing that it was the third to last episode where this happened. I genuinely, to this day, thought that was the finale. 

Lauren: Oh my gosh. That’s amazing.

Cherokee: Continuing with my lack of knowledge. But anyway, I have never seen my dash be so one topic’d and overtake everything else happening. It was just chaos. As someone who is not in the fandom, I have FOMO. I feel like I would have more fully experienced that if I had been ... ‘cause I didn’t even watch the episode. I just got the gifs and the kind of canon but not canon ... from my feed. And I feel like I kind of get what happened in that episode. Do they become canon in Purgatory? Is that ... they shared a little Purgatory kiss? Is that, or?

Lauren: Well ... (laughs) ... I mean, in fan fics, I’m sure.

Cherokee: (laughs)

Lauren: So, they go to Purgatory earlier in that season and they get separated in purgatory and Dean ends up praying to Cas to try and find him. And it’s like this very emotional ... like, he kneels down and is praying. And then later in the season Cas has made an agreement with the Empty, which is angel hell, that when he experiences a moment of true happiness he will be taken into the Empty, where he will live out the rest of his immortal life in an empty blank space, basically.

So, Cas tells Dean that he loves him and experiences a moment of true happiness and gets taken by the Empty. 

Cherokee: It makes sense. Yep, that makes complete sense. No, with the limited knowledge I have, that sounds right. Yeah.

Lauren: Yeah. Can I share with you my absolute favorite post? I still think these words to myself on the regular. This was an exchange that happened on Tumblr either on November 5th or in the days afterwards. But somebody ... it’s just a great series of responses. Somebody blogged:

“I can’t believe Castiel went to super hell to turn Georgia blue.”

And then because Georgia went for Joe Biden that same night. And then somebody responded with, “Please god, let me find these things out normally. I am begging you.” 

And then a third person responded with maybe my favorite thing that anybody’s said on Tumblr which is, “If you go to the circus for news, don’t complain if a clown tells it to you.” 

Cherokee: That is ... I want that on a shirt. I want it like as a cross stitch. That is so perfect. And I really like ... yeah, regretting. I am regretting my lack of action in the Supernatural community on this day. I would have really loved to be a part of the revolution and not just a viewer on the sidelines. 

Lauren: And you were there. You were witnessing the history as it was happening. Not everybody can say that. Some people weren’t even on Tumblr at all. 

Cherokee: I would say probably maybe most people.

Lauren: Yeah. 

Cherokee: Even though I did think it was the finale. 

Lauren: You did think it was the finale. That’s so funny. It can be your finale if you want it to be.

Cherokee: Exactly.

Lauren: This is the great thing about being a fan. It is what you make it. Throw canon out the window and do your thing.

Cherokee: Throw canon, make it fan-on.

Lauren: Speaking of fan-on versus canon. I have a quiz for you. 

[synth music]

Cherokee: Oh, I’m ready. Is it Supernatural related?

Lauren: Oh, it’s all Supernatural related. So, every episode, probably, Cherokee and I are going to do a game. And one of our main games is going to be fan fic versus fan fact. In which we quiz each other on essentially two truths and a lie situation. So, I’m going to ask Cherokee a question and there’s going to be three options. Two of them will be true and one of them will be a lie, and she has to guess which, as somebody who is not deeply entrenched in Supernatural. Are you ready?

Cherokee: Never been more ready. 

Lauren: Okay. So, the first question is:

Which of the following is not the title of a Supernatural episode?

A Very Supernatural Halloween

Everybody Loves A Clown

Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester.

Two of those are real, one of them is not an actual episode title. Let me know if you need them again.

Cherokee: Hmm. “C.”

Lauren: C. Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester?

Cherokee: Yeah. 

[buzzer]

Lauren: Wrong. That is a real episode title. 

Cherokee: Oh. I was like, “She’s gonna think I think it is an episode title, so it won’t be,” ‘cause my other thought was “B,” but is “B” also wrong? “B” is also wrong. Cool.

Lauren: This one was a little bit shady of me. Because ... So, the answer, too, which is not a title of a Supernatural episode is, “A Very Supernatural Halloween.” That is not a title of an episode. There is an episode titled, “A Very Supernatural Christmas.” So, it was a little bit tricky.

Cherokee: I got both my options wrong, which is on brand and wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. (laughs) 

Lauren: Perfect. Listen, we’ve got two more of these. So, you still have time to get two out of three. I believe in you.

Cherokee: I’m going to ace it. 

Lauren: (laughs) All right. The next one is:

Which of the following is not a character in Supernatural? 

The Easter Bunny

Misha Collins

Hitler

Which is not a character that appears in Supernatural? A character.

Cherokee: Okay, I know Misha Collins appears as himself at some point in Supernatural. 

Lauren: Because you did see that episode. 

Cherokee: Because I did see that episode. So, that’s eliminated. So, we’re between the Easter Bunny and Hitler. 

Lauren: Yep.

Cherokee: (laughs) I’m gonna go with Hitler did not appear in an episode. 

Lauren: So, I’m gonna give you half a point for this, because this is also a little bit shady. So, the Easter Bunny is not a character in Supernatural. There is a killer bunny at one point. But as far as I could find. And I have seen every episode of Supernatural, but you forget things. But I could not find that there was the Easter Bunny in an episode. But Hitler technically is a character in Supernatural. Because Dean kills Hitler and then he talks about how he killed Hitler a bunch in later episodes. Because it’s a cool thing to have killed Hitler. 

It is the soul of Hitler in somebody else’s body. So, technically nobody is dressed as Hitler in Supernatural. Thankfully. But, yes, that is a whole episode in which there is Nazi necromancers and Dean kills Hitler. So, that’s a half a point.

Cherokee: Good for Dean.

Lauren: Because the way you phrased your answer, he technically doesn’t appear, but he is a character. 

Cherokee: So, I found my way around it. Also-

Lauren: You did.

Cherokee: ... is there a Tumblr that has the log line for every single Supernatural episode? Because I’m gonna need to go to that. I’m sure IMDB-

Lauren: Ooh.

Cherokee: ... has it, but I want to stay organic.

Lauren: No, we want the fan perspective.

Cherokee: I want the fan written log line of each episode.

Lauren: Yes.

Cherokee: Another ... please, someone if you do it, let us know. 

Lauren: Please. All right. Final question:

Which is not a way that Dean Winchester has died?

Shot by a fellow hunter.

Crashing his beloved car, “Baby.”

Slipping in the shower.

Cherokee: “B” Crashing the car?

[chimes]

Lauren: You are correct.

Cherokee: Yes! Oh my gosh! Wow! 

Lauren: Although, now I’m actually second guessing myself.

Cherokee: (laughs) 

Lauren: As far as I know he was never driving Baby and crashed her and died. But now I’m remembering that I think he and his dad, John Winchester, were in the car, got into a car accident at the end of season one and he’s dead at the end of season two, and that’s the first time we see Reapers. Supernatural fans? Help me out here. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the early seasons. So, the internet may have steered me wrong on this. But that ... as far as I know, you got that answer right. So, 1.5 out of 3 points. Hell yes. 

Cherokee: 50%. A solid 50%. 

Lauren: All right. That ties up our Supernatural segment. How do you feel? Do you feel like you know Supernatural better now?

Cherokee: I am not gonna lie, I feel like I need to watch a lot more of Supernatural, because I can’t be this not in the know these days. I’ve got to get deeper. And so I feel motivated to go beyond being a fan of the fandom and become a member of the fandom. 

Lauren: I love that. And, hey, if you do, this is the place to talk about it. We can do a little sum up of your Supernatural journey. That could be very fun.

Cherokee: That would be fun. I’m in. I’ll start with season one, episode one. And just-

Lauren: Hell yes.

Cherokee: ... work my way. Hell yes. Purgatory yes. Super hell yes. Heaven yes. Empty yes. All of the yeses. 

Lauren: (laughs) I mean, in terms of fandom forecast, as we round out. I think you do have some Supernatural on your horizon, but what else are you looking at in the coming two weeks in between our episodes that you are excited for?

Cherokee: Hmm. Well, first off, I know I mentioned Thor: Love and Thunder, earlier in the episode, but I am so excited to see just ... it’s trending number three right now as we speak on July 8th. But it just came out today. So, I think for the next couple of weeks I feel like that is really gonna be just a big moment, kind of like the main thing being talked about and then also this is coming out on July 22nd, but the new Jordan Peel film.

Lauren: Jordan Peel movie. That’s right.

Cherokee: I’m so excited to see that. It’s one of those things where I have no idea what it’s about. And I cannot wait to find out.

Lauren: As we round out our episode this week, let’s end with Feels Corner.

[music]

What is giving you the feels right now? What is the thing that you are obsessing over that you are crying over the gifs, that you are reading the fic of, tell me your hyper fixation of the moment?

Cherokee: So, I have a very specific hyper fixation right now that I don’t know if it’s really broken onto Tumblr yet. I’ve seen some whisperings of it. But I just watched ... I have two more episodes left of The Bear on Hulu.

Lauren: Yeah.

Cherokee: Which is that show about the sandwich restaurant in Chicago. I will preface this by saying I’ve followed a lot of people who watch The Bear and the biggest piece of feedback is, “Excellent show, so inaccurate of sandwich shops. This would never be in this part of Chicago, and this part of Chicago is nothing like you’re seeing it is.” Kind of thing. Which is so funny because that is all the feedback I’m seeing. But even the people who are saying this are still loving the show. And I am unhealthily obsessed, maybe, with Carmine who is played by Jeremy Allen White. You may know him from Shameless.

Lauren: Oh yeah.

Cherokee: The show is excellent and very well done. Ayo Edebiri is in it. Super, it’s really well done. I am watching it for one reason and one reason alone and that is thirst. (laughs)

Lauren: (laughs) And we respect that here on Dashboard Diaries. I totally get that. He’s got a real certain something about him. He really doe. 

Cherokee: [inaudible 00:48:53] energy. It’s really powerful. (laughs)

Lauren: (laughs) That’s totally it. Oh my gosh. 

Cherokee: It’s visceral. Not to get too horny on ‘mine here. (laughs)

Lauren: That’s amazing and you have two episodes left.

Cherokee: I have two episodes. So, I hold out for finales. I don’t watch them right away for some reason. I get close to the end of something and I put off ... I watched Stranger Things, Part Four, Part Two, days after it came out. I don’t know what it is, I just need that ... it lasts longer that way. But I have two episodes left and I will probably watch them this evening, this weekend. I’m excited to see what happens. It’s mostly just like, it’s really well shot and very stressful of a show. It’s kitchen intensity.

Lauren: Yeah.

Cherokee: But just him making beef sandwiches. Into it. I’ve never had a beef sandwich in my life, but I would ... I would do it for Carmine. Oh, so what are you obsessing over at the moment?

Lauren: Speaking of stressful shows, last night I watched this week’s episode of For All Mankind, the Apple TV show. And it’s so funny, because it’s a show that I don’t necessarily actually engage in the fandom of, or I haven’t yet. And it’s a show that’s sort of between seasons, I didn’t think all that much about. And then when it’s on and I’m watching it, it’s one of my favorite viewing experiences. It’s this alternate history of 1960s through 1990s America, NASA specifically in the space race, if we have way more advanced technology basically. 

It is so incredibly stressful and I love it. Like, every episode I am clutching my face. I am moving around on the couch, total frenetic energy because I am so nervous about what’s happening on screen. And it’s the most fun I’ve had watching a TV show and being stressed by a TV show simultaneously ... well, since Barry. So, not that long. But it’s the same kind of thing where it’s like, “Oh, I can’t look. I have to look. I can’t look. I have to look. I’m loving this so much. I wanna die.”

Cherokee: What a great endorsement. I have to watch this show now. I love a show about space. I have seen it and just haven’t gotten started for no specific reason. But everyone I talk to who watches it just vehemently recommends it. 

Lauren: It is so good. And if you all listening have feels that you wanna share in our Feels Corner, go ahead and send a voice memo talking about, 30 seconds or less, the thing that you are obsessing over right now to [email protected]. We wanna hear from you and we might put it on the show. 

Cherokee: I can’t wait to hear the feels. I hope some of them are for our boy Carmine from The Bear. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cherokee: Come on. Come on, Bear cubs ... I don’t know, what’s the fandom called?

Lauren: Oh, that’s cute. Bear cubs is cute.

Cherokee: Yeah, I like it. 

Lauren: I feel like you just named the fandom. 

Cherokee: All right, Bear cubs. Let’s rock and roll. (laughs) Bear subs. 

Lauren: Oh, that has layers of meaning.

Cherokee: Oh, there’s too many layers there. (laughs)

[crosstalk 00:52:06]

Took a moment to click, but yeah. 

Lauren: And with that, as we say this week and every week, may your anons always be loving. 

Cherokee: Your dash always refreshed.

Lauren: Your gifs always be loading.

Cherokee: And your ships always canon. 

Lauren: May the fics you’re reading always be finished.

Cherokee: And the answers you seek always in the tags.

Lauren: And we’ll see you next time, or in super hell, this has been Dashboard Diaries.

Cherokee: Thanks for signing on. 

[outro synth music]

#supernatural #stranger things #dashboard diaries #fandom #the bear #for all mankind #episode #tumblr #lauren shippen #cherokee mcanelly #transcript #podcast #DD 01

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Only Friends Reflection

Okay, I have been thinking about what I want to write for the finale, and I have too many small threads of a couple different essays, so instead I will just write my own reflection. 

I did not want Top and Mew or Sand and Ray to end up together, but am not mad at Only Friends for ending with those couples in happy relationships specifically, and literally only because I was like 99% certain GMMTV would not allow ForceBook and FirstKhao to be separated. Those are couples that should not be together, but something has to get pulled out of someone’s ass because Jojo and co set out to write one show with non-branded actors, and while they absolutely are not blameless for the fumbles in the finale that undermined the rest of the show, I do think they probably got corralled in to certain themes and endings by the studio. I do not think they navigated the transition between the themes and endings super well. 

I thought about writing an essay on the trend I noticed around kissing. Namely that Nick and Boston have a conversation where we learn that Boston views sex and love as distinct, and that the emotional aspect of relationships is what should separate boyfriends from one sex partners. But that is not the case for Nick, and he has a difficult time conceptualizing this view of physical intimacy while in a relationship with someone. And how that conversation around kissing people who aren’t your boyfriend was sandwiched between a threeway kiss between boyfriends Sand and Ray with Boeing, and Mew daring Sand to kiss his boyfriend, Top. 

I thought about writing an essay about how NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN MORE RIGHT THAN ME, RE: COMMODIFICATION OF SAND. Ray and Boeing both referred to Sand as a dog, Sand literally referred to himself as being owned. Ray wants to go in to business with Sand. From beginning to end Ray has regarded Sand as an object that he owns, and this has been one of the more consistent threads throughout the show. At least Sand is aware of this. I will say one of the most egregious things for me in this entire episode was the literal “SandRay” conversation. Like???

And finally, I will not begrudge anyone, nor will I try to convince anyone to read the finale the way I am here, because every single take about the narrative punishing Boston is completely valid. I see it, I understand it, a lot of me feels it. And also, I think that what happened to Boston is unfair, and that if we are feeling like it is unfair that does a job of demonstrating that Boston’s friends are shitty and judgemental about his sex life and that we don’t treat sluts fairly. I also just like…have not at any point liked Mew, Top, or Cheum as people and as mad as I am that no one apologized to Boston for the sex tape bullshit they put him through? Am I surprised? No. I did not expect them to ever admit to being wrong, because I have seen how they have handled every other mess they have gotten themselves in to. The narrative is absolutely punishing Boston, and while I still have a hard time looking at the extensive history of Jojo and Ninew’s previous works, that they themselves would believe that sluts should be punished. But I understand how it reads, and will allow for both a criticism of their writing that if they didn’t want that to be a take away, they needed to be clearer, and also am not going to fight people saying that Jojo, Ninew, or Den think that way. I mostly just worry that if Jojo and co are seen as being anti-slut/sex-negative that people whose first exposure to their work is Only Friends will not watch their other work. 

Which is a damn shame, because The Warp Effect and 3 Will Be Free are very good pieces, and very important in terms of pushing GMMTV’s boundaries on including sex, having a polyamorous and open relationship, and including trans women who are allowed to be complex, and not just act as a minor character. It was also pointed out to me that TWE and 3WBF, which I hold are some of the queerer stories from GMMTV I’ve seen, are not listed as BLs and therefore may not be subject to some of the same expectations. Those also didn’t use branded pairs. 

Ultimately, to come at this from an assets based approach, regardless of the feelings around the end of the show, I do think that Only Friends served to push some of GMMTV’s boundaries, I want the branded pairs done away with, and I low key hope some of the negative reactions to the ending of this show where the branded pairs get their happy endings will serve to demonstrate to GMMTV that sometimes, maintaining their brands…is worse. 

But the pairs probably bring in too much money for them to care.

#only friends the series #ofts #only friends

[talesfrommedinastation]

2023: Writing, Art, and Medication

So, I need to preface this by admitting something.

January 2023 was when I started taking Wellbutrin. I have MDD and severe hypotension (low blood pressure).

Imagine rediscovering a favorite toy, game, or book that you've forgotten about. You find it, dust it off, and get lost in it again. And my, it is magical. You're so happy, you're giddy, you make up things to do to get further into it.

This isn't about me rediscovering fandom, or Star Wars. It's about re-discovering my emotions and my creativity. Because of medication.

I used to devour fantasy and sci-fi for fun. I wrote most of a series of silly novels in middle and high school. They were never published and put aside for academic or paid work. MDD crept up and strangled it, too.

Finally, I'm a working parent and spouse, and if it didn't have a spot on my CV or gave me money for completion, it wasn't going to get done.

Wellbutrin said fuck that noise, let's get CREATIVE. Let's have FUN FOR ONCE.

And low and behold, I start watching Star Wars cartoons with my youngest daughter in January 2023. She saw Tech on the screen with no helmet, screamed 'Dada!' and that's how I got yanked into The Bad Batch.

After watching two episodes with her, I wondered what it would be like if Tech met someone from The Expanse, maybe a female pilot. They'd chat, maybe hook up, and move on with their lives.

Wellbutrin also said fuck that noise, you wrote a dissertation and have multiple articles and short stories published, why not combine the two?

Wellbutrin also said you work in science communication, why not explore physics and biology from both angles?

And, while you're at it, why not have Tech and the Belter have a deeper relationship? What if they had a kid? What would happen to them, physically? Would the Empire view them as property? Would they be seen as a Belter? What are the cultural ramifications of this?

I didn't write an OC to fantasize about being with a fictional character: I wrote her, and even more OCs in the extended universe, to better understand both the worlds of The Expanse and Star Wars. It has been so, so, so fucking joyful to do so.

The longfic, which probably needs no introduction at this point, is Far Past the Ring. It was started in early February, began to be published in April, and finished in November. It is the length of a novel and thus, the most work came out of it. Most of my artwork is centered around it as well.

The art can be found here, but of all the pieces I myself have composed, I think the favorite is the one below. It was one of the first things I ever decided regarding their relationship...that something considered deviant, even on a natborn (receding hairline), is seen as personal, quirky, and wonderful.

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #the expanse #theexpanse #the bad batch #belter #fanfiction #starwarsfanfiction #tech #tech x oc #belter oc #belters #beltalowda #clone force 99 #2023 #2023 recap #end of year #2023 wrapped

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x12 Thoughts

I have always loved, and still love, that Ted moved to London and loved it. He acclimated, or more than acclimated. The three years was a story about new places and people and experiences and old ghosts that followed him there. I understand that the one thing in the middle—a kid, not a ghost, who still exists in the place left behind—necessitated him making a painful decision. I am mourning that because Ted had to make the decision to leave London, the magic of arriving in a place and never wanting to leave has been broken. He had to re-outsider himself, and I can imagine many complex (and realistic, damn it) futures for him, including futures that would involve him spending significant time back in that place, but there's a real sadness in just...the leaving. He's doomed to return (or not return) instead of just getting to exist there, after we've gotten used to seeing him in an environment that suited him.

Something I'll love when I'm able to be more mature about all this is that Ted doesn't argue with Rebecca when she tells him she wants him to consider the possibility that Richmond is his home.

Something I love now--as painful as it is--is that Rebecca seems, in a lot of ways, like she's in love with Ted. He's slipping away, and instead of wailing about how much she'll miss the biscuits, she sits herself down in front of some croissants. (And while I don't particularly like that the Dutch man has returned to her life in such a magical, serendipitous way that only timed out because of her tremulous, seemingly to-the-wire decision not to get on that plane or say anything more to Ted, a charitable and practical part of my brain is glad she'll have companionship if she couldn't have what she spent most of this episode seeming to believe she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't actually romantic. Or wasn't supposed to read as romantic. Even if it did.)

The immediacy of Ted's emotions in 3x11, when he has the fight with his mom and it's so clear that he's got to go back and face what he's run away from, reminded me of how sharply he can feel. So it was really hard to watch him be almost stoic throughout this episode in the way he pulls away. He leaves everyone well, but everyone else's feelings are so big and he's kinda glazed over, and I didn't expect to feel the wind knocked out of me with the force of Rebecca's longing for him to stay.

(And I'm so glad that Rebecca didn't sell all of the club, instead taking her ownership down to just 51%, but I'm also glad she cares enough about Ted to have genuinely considered it. I'm so glad she and Keeley are going to work together to form a women's team. I'm so glad she promoted Roy to head coach, and that he's actually going to work on himself now that he knows he'll be working to be his best self rather than someone else. I am glad Ted was only dreaming about Beard and Jane marrying at Stonehenge--Ted has never understood how seriously bad that relationship is. I'm glad life is moving on, but it's just. So. Painful.)

I know a lot of people will talk about how this was a disappointment after all--a savior story with a pat, happy ending, rather than a true love story. But my feeling is that it genuinely was something better and sadder than a savior story...a narrative about choice with a tragic end. (And I don't mean "tragic" to imply that he shouldn't have gone to be with Henry, because I think he needed his reconnection with Henry to take place in Kansas, very essentially. It's just that everything else about the ending is tragic.) Maybe Ted spent the last three years at home, and maybe it won't hit him until much later, the magnitude of all that he's left. I like that it wasn't a happy ending, even if there are happy parts. I don't like that people will mistake it for a happy ending, even if a happy ending that angers them. I don't expect people to feel good about this paragraph, but it's the thing that's saving me where this show is concerned.

This is my favorite show. I've never obsessed over or connected to a piece of media quite like I have with this. I don't particularly care about the better things out there, and I'm not particularly curious what my next obsession will be because I'm still in this one. The finale didn't ruin the show for me, but I feel like I'm being stabbed by the last ten minutes, by the pain of the end really being about that impossible choice feeling impossible for as long as our eyes were trained on his face.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s3 spoilers #ted lasso 3x12 #meta by me #ted lasso meta #hot dork club #ted x rebecca