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surveysonfleek · 3 years

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1599.

Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? i would say my partner but if im honest, my parents are probably more influential to me than him At what age do you feel like you grew up mentally/emotionally? there was no one time but i think probably around 25? sounds a bit late but i basically realized my worth as a person Do you have any brothers? no Are you currently happy? im not 100% happy but definitely not dissatisfied with my life Who did you talk on the phone with last night? i was facetiming w my fiance

Is anything bugging you right now? kinda Who is the last person you missed a call from? i got 4 missed calls today all from spam callers. no one left a voicemail What annoys you most in a person? someone who tries too hard and isnt down for a civil discussion if our opinions dont align. also know it alls Have you changed this year? not that much if im honest What are you listening to right now? im watching love island while doing this Are you talking to anyone tonight? nope Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? haha sometimes, just human nature to expect the worst Whose bed did you sleep in last that wasn’t yours? my fiance’s Are you a really understanding person? yes, im very empathetic How many hours of sleep did you get last night? around 8 How many pillows do you like to sleep with? 4 Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? yes, i always wake up to pee lol How are you feeling lately? not bad, not good How do you wear your hair most of the time? down or ponytail. no in between Think back to the end of last school year, who did you have feelings for? hahaha like 10 years ago? i still remember who it was In a relationship, do you think about the future, or now? tbh i didnt think much about the future until now Think back to the last person you kissed, did that person ever give you a piggy back ride? yes Did you see your best friend today? no :( Are you dating the last person you talked to? yes Are you close to your father? yes Have you ever broken someone’s heart? i dont think so Where did you go today? nowhere. i worked from home Where are you located right now? in my bedroom What’s between you and the last person you texted? hes an extrovert and im an introvert Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? not really, that would be hard What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? a camping chair. technically furniture right? Have you ever broken up with someone for a reason other than lack of feelings (ex. moving away, etc.)? no Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? hmm not at all, ive been with the same person forever When was the last time you went to a bar? haha more than 3 months ago What three things would you change about your life? money situation, better health and happiness Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? tbh no. oh they spelt my name wrong on the cradle thing they put newborns in. luckily not on the birth certificate What has happened in the past week that is worth remembering in five years? our loan got officially approved for land How much of your day did you spend completely alone? like 90% What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? i havent had many lately (sadly) What is the next book you are going to read? no idea, my kindly is dead lol i havent had the time to sit and read Describe the hardest decision you have ever made. not sure Why did you last see the doctor? covid vaccine Post a recent picture of yourself. nah How do you spend the majority of your free time? watching netflix lol What do you want to accomplish tomorrow? nothing, just working :( List the cards in your wallet. i dont have much. licence, savings card, private health card, flybuys anddddd i think thats it? What was the last thing to inspire you? those crazy tiktok weight loss videos Who was the last person to do something nice for you? my fiance What was the lowest point of this year? The highest? lowest point, im the heaviest ive ever been. highest, i got engaged and bought land to eventually build out home on Is there any artwork in the room you’re in? yes! one is a jeremyville piece, one is an illustration i commissioned from fiverr and two paintings are by me haha What is your number one short-term goal? Long-term? short term, change up to a healthier diet and start exercising. long term, save a ton of money Are you dealing with anything difficult at the moment? ill be okay

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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mysteryofren · 4 years

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Not My Boyfriend

Chapter 42 of So Happy Together

masterlist

A/N: i feel llike i havent posted in years. in other news my knee feels a lot better, but i still have my stitches in so thank you for not beating me up for not posting last week. its not a long chapter but we get more Reader, Hux, and Kylo

Tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour

The bed felt lonely still. Gideons absence was still felt even in your deep sleep. You felt something moving against your leg in your sleep, and it woke you up completely. You sat up and came face to face with Elaine. She smiled at you then laid in the empty space next to you.

“It's about time! I've been waiting all morning for you to wake up.” She picked up Bruce, and inspected him.

“What are you doing here so early?” You said as you stretched your body out, and turned to her.

“It's 12 in the afternoon.” You picked up your phone, and checked. She was right, it was 12. You sighed, and laid back down.

“Long night? Perhaps with a certain Solo?” She teased.

“I didn't know you knew about that. Are you mad?”

“I'm mad that I had to hear about it from Hux. Why wouldn't you tell me you, and Ben were dating?”

“Cause we’re sort of not.” She looked at you with visible confusion.

“Lets get food, and I’ll explain.” You went to get up, and get ready when she grabbed your arm.

“I should probably let you know that the boys are downstairs.”

“All of you are here?” she nodded, and let you get out. You quickly got dressed, and ran downstairs where you saw all the boys waiting in the den.

Hux, and Kylo were talking while Matt sat on his phone. You cleared your throat, and they all looked at you. Elaine came in behind you, and told them that you all were leaving to get breakfast. They stood up, and you all walked out to the car. They didn't waste a single second before they all started badgering you about yesterday. Elaine threatened not to take them to lunch if they kept it up, and like a bunch of toddlers they all stopped talking, and sulked in the back seat. It's almost insane how much power she has when it comes to the boys. Although she held that same power with you, and Phasma. She was the leader of your group. She was responsible, and she did well under pressure. Stars knew that all you got into enough trouble that it came in handy.

On the way to Amilyns you decided to tell them about what you all did that day. You talked about the planetarium, and even let it slip about the millennium falcon. That's when the teasing started.

“I completely forgot about the falc!” Kylo said. “They used to go up there for hours with dad, and Lando.”

“I haven't been there in years.” Matt informed him.

“Either way little baby Matty here used to obsess over it. He always said he was the ship's engineer, and that he was the only thing keeping her running!”

“Awe Matt that's so cute.” Elaine laughed.

“Hey I was like 10!”

“10? Dude you and Ben were hanging out in there until you guys were 15.” Kylo teased.

“Matt if it helps Ben still goes up there.” You told him.

“Yeah probably do whatever it is he did with Rey up there.” Matt said.

“He brought Rey up there?”

“Pretty sure he did. They went into the woods one day, and didn’t come back for a good two hours.”

“He said he didn't take anyone up there..” You said more to yourself than to them. They stayed quiet for a minute before you all saw the familiar building coming up. Amilyns new shop had been open for a few days.

The grand opening party had been fun. She invited the group, and a few of her other friends to come see it. She even invited your grandfather too. She made snacks, and different treats to celebrate. It was good to see everything in its rightful place. The new furniture she had gotten had finally come in along with the art that Hux had chosen for her. She had it hung up all over the walls. In a small corner she had the photo you guys had taken together hung up as well. It was in a frame that had a small silver plate with all your names on it. When Elaine had noticed it she almost cried, and you, and Matt had to sit her down, and get her calm. You all walked in, and took your seat at your regular table, and one of the waiters she had hired let us know he would be there in a second.

“So I know now isn't the moment to bring it up…” Hux said.

“Then don't.” Kylo responded while looking at the menu on the wall. Hux rolled his eyes, and continued.

“But… are you sure you want to go through with dating him? I mean he lied to you on your first date, who's to say he won't continue the cycle?” You all sat quiet as you thought. You were about to speak when Kylo spoke out.

“He's right. Nobody knows my brother more than me, and Matt.”

“You're just saying that cause you want her.” Elaine said flagging down the waiter.

“Maybe he is, but he is still right. That man has done nothing. But lie, and hurt her. Y/N be honest, do you see this going somewhere?” Hux said before the waiter interrupted you all. He took your orders, and went off.

Once he was gone they all looked at you again. You were not entirely sure how to respond. Ben promised it would be different, but he’s already lied. Elaine must have seen the look on your face, and knew you didn't want to talk about it anymore. She immediately changed the subject, and Matt did the same. The rest of the lunch went on without anyone bringing it up again, which was good for you, but you also wanted to think about what Hux asked. You hadn't thought about whether or not it might go anywhere. You loved Ben. You really did, and so did he. At least he said he did. After all he did drive all the way out to Jakku to make sure Rey would be okay when you two got together. Not only did he do that, but he also drove out to Bracca to see you after coming home. He risked a lot just to do that.

What if he didnt love you? The thought hurt, but it was one you would have to consider. There was no kidding yourself you had been in love with him from the moment you laid eyes on him. He clearly hadn’t felt the same since he was an asshole from the start, but you still couldn't help but forget those facts when you look into those soft brown eyes. He meant the world to you, but did you mean the world to him? His words did nothing but repeat in your head. The world, he wanted to give you the world. In a way he already has. He loved you, and you loved him. He had already given you the world the second he showed up in Bracca.

After Elaine had brought you home Kylo, and Hux insisted on staying. Matt went with Elaine which you understood considering they didn't have a lot of time left before

“So what should we do for our last few hours together?” Kylo asked as he sat on your bed. Hux sat at the small desk, and you took your place next Kylo.

“Last few hours?” you asked.

“You didn't know? He's leaving tonight.” Hux said matter of factly as he flipped through a book that was on your desk.

“Tonight? I thought we had 2 weeks…” you said looking at Kylo with sadness in your eyes.

“That was 3 weeks ago. Your boyfriend stole my car, and bought us another week.” he responded.

“Not my boyfriend.” you said mostly to yourself. “So what are we going to do?”

“I was thinking maybe just hang around. Maybe get some dinner before I go home, and pack up.”

“I still can't believe you decided to leave early. You have the whole summer, why go back now?” Hux asked, still looking through the book.

“I gotta start working man, we've talked about this. Besides you still got Y/N.” Kylo responded.

“Yeah Hux you, and I still have the rest of the summer.”

“I know. I just like us together.” Hux said sadly.

“We do make a great team.” Kylo laughed. You hugged him tight, and he hugged back.

“Think i'm gonna miss you most kid.” you felt tears well up in your eyes. This was the beginning. This is the part you dreaded the most. The part where your new friends were now going to leave. They would leave. Then your dull life here would go on. They would forget you in the blur of the exciting new adventure ahead of them.

At least Ben was staying. He chose to go to a local college, and then attend a university for business to work with his dad. Another thought came to your mind. What would happen when you went to college? At least when you left your friends wouldn't be far. Matt, and Elaine would be at NYU, Phasma would be at Julliard, and you would be at Pratt. What would happen to your friendship with Kylo? With Hux? Kylo was all the way in Chandrila, and Hux would still be in Oxford. And Ben. Ben would still be here. He didn't hate it here as much as the rest of you. You needed to get out. Your whole life was leading up to the moment you could escape.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you felt a hand pat your thigh. You looked up as Kylo stood up.

“So what do we wanna watch?” he asked as he walked out. You stood up, along with Hux, and the two of you followed him. He got into the den, and you saw Gideons old bed in the corner. You didn't get around to packing it away yet.

“You can choose since it's your last day.” You mumbled staring at the big bed on the floor.

“Something on your mind?” Hux asked.

“It's just..” you started. “His bed. I didn't put it away, and I really haven't been in here since. Guess I just forgot to pack it up.”

Kylo and Hux looked over at the dog bed. Kylo frowned looking at it. He would never admit it, but he has a huge soft spot for animals. Anytime he came over he would immediately start playing with Gideon. He even loved Millicent to death.

“Here I can take it to your attic.” Hux said as he grabbed the bed, and the leftover toys.

“Thanks.” You said as he walked out. You sat on your grandfather's chair, and watched as Kylo scrolled through the movie selection.

“You know when I was a kid me, and my grandparents would make blanket forts, and watch movies.” You said as you watched Kylo look through the movie selection on the tv.

“I never made one of those.” He said.

“Why not?”

“Well I never had anyone to do it with. By the time Ben was old enough to wanna do that type of stuff, I was old enough that it didn't appeal to me.” The thought made you sad. You didn't have siblings at all, but at least your grandparents still gave you that experience.

“I’ll be back, keep looking for a movie.”

You started your search for blankets around the house. You ran into Hux coming back from the attic, and asked him for help. You both ran around the house gathering blankets, pillows, and any other soft thing you could find. Hux even went into your room, and searched for stuffed animals. You had gotten down stairs, and placed all the blankets you found on the floor. You handed Kylo your phone, and told him to order a pizza. Hux walked in with everything he had found, and placed it down.

“You only have one stuffed animal, but I grabbed it anyway.” he threw Bruce down on the pile of blankets, and picked him up.

You placed him down on the couch, and you had started setting the fort up with Hux. It hadn't been long before you guys had finished. While you two had gotten to work Kylo had made a list of some movies he wanted to watch. You had put down pillows, and blankets so you guys weren't sitting on the hard floor. Before you laid with the boys you grabbed Bruce. The three of you laid on the floor, and started watching the first movie. One thing Kylo Ren would never admit is his love of drama. He insisted the three of you watch the movie Moulin Rouge before anything else, and even included a dramatic summary of the movie. You, and Hux laughed as he explained the forbidden love between the main character, and the woman, ironically named, Satine.

Hours had gone by. The three of you had watched movie after movie, and ate pizza in your blanket fort. It was little moments like this that made you think about how much you would miss Kylo. Hux had somehow fallen asleep during one of the movies, and you both decided to mess with him. You both grabbed washable markers, and started doing little doodles all over his face. Kylo had slowly lifted his shirt, and drew some things on his back as well. You gave him a look, and he shrugged.

“It's a little surprise for him.” you laughed quietly. You had colored his whole face pink, and Kylo gave him a purple mustache, and a green unibrow. You two laughed at your work, and continued with the movie.

“Hey where's your grandfather? It's pretty late.” Kylo said, picking up another slice of pizza. You looked at the time on your phone, and saw it was almost 9.

“He works super late sometimes. Hes probably just at his office.”

“Damn.” He said under his breath.

“Why?” You asked him. He sighed, and tried not to look at you.

“I gotta go home. I wanted to say bye to him too.”

“Oh…” you said with sadness in your voice. It didn't occur to you that so much time had passed. He finished off his slice, and sighed.

“Im sorry. Trust me I didn't want to stay when I came back.”

“Why did you?” He smiled, and looked at you. Then he looked at Hux and messed his hair up gently.

“I met you two. Its stupid I know, but I think you guys are my bestfriends.” You smiled.

“Its not stupid. It's sweet. I know he loves hanging out with you too, and I know I love hanging out with you too.” He smiled, and the two of you hugged over Huxs body.

“I should probably wake him up so we can go.”

He shook Hux awake, and explained he needed to go home. All three of you took the fort apart, and cleaned. You tried to hold back tears as you guys packed everything up. You walked them to the door, and they walked out. Kylo told Hux to sit in the car for a bit. When he got in Kylo gave you the tightest hug he had ever given you.

“Take care of Ben okay?” He said as he held you.

“I will. Promise.” He pulled away, and kissed the top of your head. You watched as he got in his car, and they drove off.

“Goodbye, Kylo Ren.” You whispered to yourself as tears fell down your face.

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imagines-mha · 3 years

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Hiya! I was wondering if I could get a male Haikyuu Valentine's special matchup?

I'm 5'10, a lil curvy with long light brown hair, heterochromic blue and green eyes and I am very very pale 😂

I'm a very loud and outgoing person but sometimes I need time to recharge my social battery. My love language is physical touch and I love being around where there can be comfortable silence, or doing separate things together. I've been told that I have RBF but as people get to know me they know that I'm just a softie with hella anxiety ahaha.

I love staying up late, music and travelling, thunder and lightning storms and bubble tea.

I'm a very giggly person and love to just go with the flow and vibe, I can read people fairly well and am considered the therapist in my friend group.

I live for playful banter between friends and laughing untill our stomachs hurt. I play basketball atm but I'm not very good aha, I play for fun and because I love my teammates

I can be very stubborn, procrastinate alot (it's so bad 😂) and have a short fuse when I'm tired (pls help I am very sleep deprived 😂). I also tend to overwork myself and put others first. I can also get very competitive, especially with my sibling.

I love the idea of just packing up and going somewhere, buying a one way ticket and worrying about it all later, as well as late night drives or adventures to the local store, taking polaroids untill the sunrise. Just spontaneous adventures with memories that'll last forever ahaha

I hope this was enough, have a great day x

hihi thank u sm for waiting also you sound super fun 😭😭 basketball is so cool bro once when i was like 12 i scored like 3 points in a row in PE in school and i havent felt acheivement like it since smh 😔😔 ly 💖💖

i ship you with: Hanamaki Takahiro!

tell me yall wouldnt look cute together. tell me he wouldnt brag about his super hot basketball girlfriend to the team. tell me yahaba wouldnt have the biggest crush on you and hate makki for actually scoring you. you cant.

valentines special

♡ chAOS

♡ seriously yall should be feared

♡ since you have that couple dynamic where everythings an adventure and you live for the shits n giggles- valentines day is FILLED with fun shit

♡ wakes you both up and blasts your favourite music while you open presents

♡ hes a romantic dork beneath his layer of self depreciating jokes

♡ like hell buy you both a holiday no cap his presents are the best

♡ definitely gets you both dressed in your most fancy outfits to go to the beach or smth to take pics

♡ POLAROIDS ARE HIS SHIT!!!

♡ hell watch you run around and snap thousands of little pocketed memories all day long

♡ convenience store SPLURGINGG

♡ its valentines day and you buy the entire mf store- then go back home, talk to your hearts content and eat

♡ takes you back outside to see the sunrise at like 6am and you take cute selfies n everything

♡ 100/10 unforgettable night

#hanamaki takahiro

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therewas-a-girl · 4 years

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Shipwrecks, Of the Wretched, de profundis ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

the

you think i will be intimidated by this BUT CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!! *cracks knuckles*

Shipwrecks

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

this fic is written mostly traditionally tbh - its cronologically told, in third person and mostly from one pov which is (and will be) feclicity. however, i have changed my mind about a lot of things since i started the fic - for one, i want to incorporate the whole ‘unreliable narrator’ thing a lot more. i want to use flashbacks more carefully: playing with timelines in how cetain present time events triger past moemories that illuminate the REASON behind present time choices. things like that.

the real inspiration for the fic itself was another fic i read - I've Never Truly Loved (Until You Put Your Arms Around Me) by theirhappystory. And the fact that i read that fic ... while i was on a boat... while there was a storm. a small one BUT STILL.

2: What scene did you first put down?

Whatever Walks Here, Walks Alone - aka oliver looking at felicity in the lair. by itself this scene could fit anywhere from the begining of season 1, to anywhere in season 2. i didnt really write it with a timeline in mind. it was mroe like me pondering the characters.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

i had a LOT of fun - unexpected fun - writing Diggle’s pov in teh whole situation. you see, when i started the story the first thing i wanted to figure out was where do i want the characters to end up in relation to each other - so that i could start the story with them being in the diametrically opposite spot! but then i realized that i also want contrast within the trio - and where oliver and felicity move towards each other at a glacial pace, john and felicty have a much more easy time understanding where the other stands. like... they vibe. and it had a lot o fun planing out that vibe - and all teh ways it pisses off oliver, in the begining.

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

To answer this i would have to go back and re-read a lot of what i wrote and plan to write, but there is a line that STAYS with me and its one felicity says.

so - in the show, the trio do eventually find out that the Gambit was sabotaged and did not just sink. Now - in Shipwrecks - this would have a major devastating effect on felicity, who was in the gambit with oliver and sara. And she is the one that has the hunch that moira was involved (i think this happens in canon too?) - and she pushes oliver about it. Bc ofc she thinks of moira as just another person. Worse even - a person who hurt her. At this point she is MANIC about it and it freaks oliver out. Like, take the natural defensiveness he has against the idea and add a fear that felicity might genuinely kill his mother, and you get him being very agressively AGAINST felicity following moira anywhere. and when felicity understands that oliver has no intention of pursuing a what she sees as a genuine lead about the event that practically ruined them as people, she just, shuts down, makes a disgusted face, thinks of all the ritch fuckers she’s known and framed and used and how they close ranks when their reputation or personal interest is touched and just, blurts it out.

‘you fucking people.’

5: What part was hardest to write?

all of it lmao. like WRITING IT.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

The fact that i planned it out and it has like, different installments and a whole journey, which is one of losing oneself, understanding that ones self has been lost, seeing vengence for that loss (aka giving in/facing the anger it causes), seeking freedom, going against ones impulses to build better ones, building relationships, mantaining them, finding ones self through small acts of kindness towards ones self, rebuilding ones personality

basically i wrote a journey about getting out of depression and grief, before i realized that THAT was what i was actually writing about.

7: Where did the title come from?

The title of the series is pretty straightforward: they were shipwrecked and now theyre coming back. 'above the vaulted sky’ is a line from a I am, by John Claire.

I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;My friends forsake me like a memory lost:I am the self-consumer of my woes—They rise and vanish in oblivious host,Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throesAnd yet I am, and live—like vapours tossedInto the nothingness of scorn and noise,Into the living sea of waking dreams,Where there is neither sense of life or joys,But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;Even the dearest that I loved the bestAre strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.I long for scenes where man hath never trodA place where woman never smiled or weptThere to abide with my Creator, God,And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,Untroubling and untroubled where I lieThe grass below—above the vaulted sky.

It’s a rather sad one actually, but i read it as a poem about hope. About the dream of hope, anyway. And this need to be away - from what is known because at this point what is known is horrible and the only happiness the imagination can come up with, is to be as far from it as possible and alone. and that is very much where felicity starts out with. With her hope not being about peace, but an isolation in stillness because that is the only good place she can imagine.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

It did. I’ve been depressed and strugling with horrendous issues of self worth and anxiety since i was about 14. And i never knew. It literally took me turning 28 to realize what the fuck was wrong. And its depressing (lol) because its just so much fucking time that i wasted, you know. And i remember - like, when i was deep in my depression - i used to think all the time ‘I must have been a real life person once. Like, an actual person, with a personality, and likes and dislikes and feelings - but i dont remember her. I dont know who that girl even is, i woudlnt regognise her at all.’ It felt like some part of me had died. Like there was literal murder involved. Cause so little of me survived.

but it turns out, i have been this way - just less intensely (and in some cases a lot MORE intensely) since i hit puberty. i didnt die - i just got worse and did not deal with it at all.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

not really. not yet, anyway.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

im actually not sure that i do want oliver-felicity for this sotry. the dynamic between felicity and tommy is also very veyr interesting. and i dont really know where i will take them. especially in the first and second story, their connection is intense. but this is also part of teh slowburn - oliver and felicity, however it happens, its gonna be slow.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

how personal it is to me, and my experience. and the fact that, if i write it well, i might actually be sayin something.

12: What do you like least about this fic?

THE FACT THAT I HAVENT WRITTEN IT YET T_T

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

PHEW I have whole playlists i built as i was ordering this whole series. with songs that fit the mood, the direction of the storytelling and all.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I genuinely want people to see this as a story about healing.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

i havent written all of it yet - but i did learn something very interesting about myself. that i have been putting my trauma into narratives to deal with it looong since i knew that was a thing, or i was even aware that i was doing it.

and on that depressing note, i will end this post and start a new one for the other stories lmao

#personal #shipwrecks tag #deathandindignitybedamned

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chasethesun18 · 4 years

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50 questions you’ve never been asked

tagged by @goddess-clarke 🥰

What is the colour of your hairbrush? purple and black

Name a food you never eat? seafood and red meat

Are you typically too warm or too cold? i used to be too cold all the time and then i went through a time where i was too hot and now im back to somewhere in the middle but mostly cold. my fingers turn blue a lot lolol

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? mm so i just watched the premier of blindspot s5 and it is now dead to me and i will be forgetting this episode happened and not continuing the season. so ive spent the last hour trying to erase the ep from my memory and cheer myself up. its not working so now im answering 50 questions. as one does.

What is your favourite candy bar? oh i don't know. it changes. i really like peanut m&ms and york patties

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? professional...maybe? i think i’ve possibly been to a pro baseball. im from the south and we dont do pro we only do college. ive been to..idk hundreds on hundreds of those

What is the last thing you said out loud? told my mom i loved her. cause im cute like that.

What is your favourite ice cream? i like vanilla with a lot of toppings. but also coffee and mint chocolate chip

What was the last thing you had to drink? im drinking cherry vanilla coke zero. yes its 11:42pm. dont judge me.

Do you like your wallet? yeah its cute. its little and red

What was the last thing you ate? salad with chicken (oo she healthy)

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? yeah no. i haven't bought new clothes in forever. actually got into an argument with my mom about that today

The last sporting event you watched? BEFORE SPORTS WERE CANCELLED YOU MEAN????? baseball.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? ....popcorn has flavors? idk salt?

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my sister. about said blindspot premier. she's writing a book and considering killing off one of the characters and i told her i didn't want someone to get to the end of her book and wish she hadn't read it which is how i feel about blindspot rn

Ever go camping? i do, my major is parks and rec so im a ~big outdoors girl~ but im actually more into the historical preservation side of things and i dont really like camping but i have been dragged into it bc of my major

Do you take vitamins? no but i take a shit ton of medication. y'all didnt need to know that srry.

Do you go to church every Sunday? yes. before that got cancelled too. its fine.

Do you have a tan? i do! super proud of it. its the beginning stages

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? pizza i hate chinese food

Do you drink your soda with a straw? yes

What colour socks do you usually wear? white

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? ....ok does anyone follow the exact speed limit? come on. ive never gotten a ticket tho

What terrifies you? a lot of things. small spaces. bugs. heights but only sometimes. losing a loved one. change. im an anxious person ok

Look to your left, what do you see? a wall (these are entertaining answers im serving yall)

What chore do you hate? vacuuming. GOSH I HATE IT. idk why but it pisses me off every time. i think its cause it makes me sweat and like why should i have to SWEAT from vacuuming? its so loud too i can't listen to music while i do it

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? g’day mate

What’s your favourite soda? coke zero or dr pepper

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru unless the drive-thru is too long and then it defeats the purpose of going for fast food so i go in

Who’s the last person you talked to? my mom

Favourite cut of beef? i dont eat red meat :P

Last song you listened to? holding on and letting go - ross copperman (tvd forever)

Last book you read? my major is reading heavy and my minor (history) is even more reading heavy. i had a history class this semester where i had to read 6 books in their entirety so that's the last thing i read. i havent read for fun since i started college lol. but i do still read fanfic and that counts

Favourite day of the week? friday. its the anticipation of the weekend without the disappointment of the weekend

Can you say the alphabet backwards? lol no

How do you like your coffee? if i make it myself i like it with creamer and splenda. if i get it out i like sugar free vanilla lattes with nonfat milk (yes im a basic bitch I KNOW. i also take a sip and if it tastes wrong i go ‘um excuse me is this the nOn FaT MiLk’ like im literally that bitch)

Favourite pair of shoes? aesthetically ive got some bomb heels but i havent had the occasion to wear those in a long time

The time you normally go to bed? before all this 11-1. now idk time is just a construct

The time you normally get up? ..before all this 8/9 depending on what time my class was. now i force myself to get up around 9/10. i dont naturally wake up. if i dont set an alarm i will sleep until 1pm

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? i like both but i havent seen many sunrises bc i dont wake up. so sunset

How many blankets on your bed? twooo

Describe your kitchen plates: the ones at my parents house are just plain white and the ones in my apartment are plain green. wow im plain.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? so ya girl just turned 21 !!!! and no, im not a big fan. it all tastes like cough syrup. help.

Do you play cards?. my family does sometimes. i think its boring

What colour is your car? dark grey. her name is the black pearl. shes not black tho....

Can you change a tire? no but ive never tried

Your favourite province? ok this question is gonna show my ignorant american side and i dont want it to soooo

Favourite job you’ve ever had? i used to work at this place that did mommy and me music classes. i taught the one that was a drop off class called school skills so it was like k5 for 3-4 yrs old

How did you get your biggest scar? i dont have many scars. i have one above my eye from falling backwards into a rocking chair lol

What did you do today that made someone else happy? i dont know, honestly. i feel like im barely interacting with people. i ran errands with my mom and i think that made her happy...but she was in a bad mood so hard to tell lolol

anyway, this was fun and now im not thinking about that show. crap now im thinking about it. UGH.

tagging: @hpfangirl13 @amazalina @dorisquinn @rebel-belles @vivianelynne20 @modernlifehistorian (i know you're there) @sherlolly-siya @fromiftowhen

#tag game

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tellmesomethinggg · 4 years

Text

****

linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read

(for later when i got time lmao)

Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe

well fuck

here goes nothing

the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work

Gaby (coles gf) came too btw

so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)

me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol

later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever

so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out

and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t

so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious

matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship

cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt

and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed

he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh

also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there

also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so

yeah

fuck

alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon

Can Tim see what I write on this? -Chloe

Yes -Janet

Hi Tim!

-Chloe

Tim pls respond.

-Chloe

Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL

He responded I’m so happy!

-Chloe

FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton

and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh

FEB 15 1 pm

chillin in alp so lets get this chisme

alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva

brb

anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao

oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes

and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times

FEB 14 2pm

heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg

so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh

and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room

oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh

i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?

also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens

FEB 10 11am

okay soooo last night,

the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)

we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this

later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th

brb im gonna go eat with him

okay im back now...

anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/

continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit

and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now

also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah

FEB 8 1AM

i remembered:

sunday 2-3

i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died

Monday 2-4

so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah

i like hanging out with him

also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK

i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo

FEB 7 5-7 PM

so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible

saturday 2-2

alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)

so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on

andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them

and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd

and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD

so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room

(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)

sunday 2-3

so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening

i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao

and then i go to work :(

but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)

and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)

monday 2-4

so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]

alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again

possibly staying the night lmao

but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night

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alkalinerock · 5 years

Text

50 questions air

thank you @kisamas i love talking about myself

1. What takes up too much of your time? im double fisting ffxiv and three houses rn im swear im gonna beat nier one day and i recently got bloodstained so i might fuck around with that :)

2. What makes your day better? eating something tasty and then im happy :) i also like it when i talk w/ the pals makes me feel good

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I am thinking about making mashed potatos i will i promise and it will b the best thing today

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? if i could visit some ffxiv maps like crystarium would b cool. n like, id visit inkopolis (i wanna b squiddo) and ryme city would be dope as hell would love a shinx buddy

5. Are you good at giving advice? i feel like i am but i feel like i still have so much more to learn about imparting wisdom. i was thinking about this the other night n as funny as this sounds i heard a lot of good advice on tumblr. mainly realizing how simple but important the small things are. “i’m proud of you” or “you did really well”. and i like giving advice i think it makes people feel less alone when theyre dealing with situations. if nothing else thats what i want to accomplish

6. Do you have a mental illness? idk i feel like i do but i never officially got diagnosed we got no health insurance. a lot of ppl tell me that im depressed and i think i believe it too but i always tell them im gonna remain impartial about it until i (finally) get a chance to talk to a profreshinal

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? ya a few years ago after class id take like, a nap daily. and most of the times i wake up unable 2 move. sometimes im in like, a bad position where my face is a little too close to my pillow and its hard to breathe. i havent gotten it in a while but it sure does stink.

8. What musician inspires you the most? i dont think any musician INSPIRES me but octopath’s composer yasunori nishiki really makes me wanna be like “quit your job join my octopath band”

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yeah it rocked but things didnt always work out but i learned a lot in the end

10. What’s your dream date? never rly thought about this kinda stuff i dont really fantasize about my ideal date. i think the best things in life happen spontaneously. i think.

11. What do others notice about you? i like 2 talk about myself and that im cute and smart funny and handsome and my meat is huge :)

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? i play a lot of osu!taiko so i have this finger tapping habit and a lot of like anxious tics like shaking my leg i bite my nails n whatever i do this n that a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? yea we’re like still best friends

14. How many exes do you have? two too

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i have many playlists i have soundcloud playlists for like. anime music/future funk/game music/etc. my spotify playlists have like. hundreds of songs. my youtube playlist also have like. hundreds of songs. some things i listen to on a daily basis i havent even saved so it just keeps growing.

16. What instruments can you play? i used to b able to play geetar, piano, clarinent but ive forgotten everything since

17. What do you have the most pictures of? animals n other stuff

18. Where would you like to go before you die? oh wow uhhh like. i have general locations but nothing specific. it’d be nice to visit japan and see korea (finally) n then like new zealand. i know it doesnt sound exciting but i’d be happy to be anywhere.

19. What’s your zodiac? tavros

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but i take astrology with a grain of sand anyways

21. What is happiness to you? chillin

22. Are you going through anything right now? tryin 2 get a job. get my AA.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? hmmm i have made many bad decisions but nothing stands on top as my worst. i think anything that falls under the category of “mistreating my friends because of my short-sightedness” is considered the worst.

24. What’s your favorite store? food stores

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nop

27. Do you have a favorite album? no lol

28. What do you want for your birthday? uhm. better earphones?

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? im silly maybe

30. What age do you seem according to most people? a little younger than i am.

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on the dresser next to my bed or like. on my bed next to me in a safe corner

32. What word do you say the most? idk maybe like. epic. or. legit. or fuck.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? i donno lol maybe like. 1000.

34. What’s the youngest you would date? my age and above lol wtf

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? any job that requires, like, talking. on two occasions ive heard ppl say that i have a voice suited for customer service (like, ehh?? i just talk politely lol) but like. counseling too i guess.

36. What’s your favorite music genre? most genres but lately ive been listening to anime op/eds and bideo game music and bandori songs and like. brockhampton or like. outrun. this n that.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i donno... i don really think about this stuff

38. What is your current favorite song? fire bird by roselia (lol)

39. How long have you had this blog for? for a while idr how long maybe like. 5 yrs

40. What are you excited for? these maybe mashed potatoes im gonna make LOL

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im both. i prefer to listen and i think depending on my conversation partner i think listening is more important

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i got out of bed brushed my teeth and got something to drink. i know its not much but ive really been makin an effort to improve my....””””mornings””””. ive been waking up at like 1-2pm these days so the least i could do is get my day started right

43. What do you want for Christmas? something rly good to eat!!

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont look at my grades LMAO i do like. OK on most of my classes but somtimes i make an oopsie whoopsie and lose a lot of points becuase im forgetful and stupid

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? like. 7. 10 being like, i just ate something really great and im chillin w/ the homies. im 7 becase i ate something sorta tasty and im chillin but no homies. n im thinkin about the mash potatoe im going to maybe make

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? uhm. maybe teaching? doing something like, being sillay with my pals. i dont think about the future i just kinda just. Do.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? never rly the breakups were my responsibility becos i was mentally immature so i tend to like, think about what i did wrong.

48. What age do you want to get married? ahh im not rly thinking about this but itd be nice to have a gf first LOL these future oriented questions be like. “idk!”

49. What career did you want to have as a child? yuusha

50. What do you crave right now? despite what ive been saying about thos mash potatoes i really want like. a good burger or somethin. i just wanna eat something free and tasty!!

@gurmza @learnosaurusrex @advancewars2 do it and please read over my answers very carefully i will test you on this on discord without warning

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livelovelaug-h · 5 years

Text

Normal life? Nice try trickster

Dean x reader

A/n: This is for @supernatural-jackles #Weekly Writing Challenge. The line is "you cant ignore me forever" it'll be in bold.

"yea well I wish I never had this life and I wish I never met you."

*snap*

You were sitting in a chair at a desk??? You narrow your eyes what the heck?? Where were you. You heard phones ringing. You looked around and right behind your desk you saw Someone familiar. "Sam?"

"Hey y/n what's up?"

" whats up? Or more like what are we doing here."

"working?" He laughs. "how much did you have to drink last night?"

"drink? I didn't drink last night. Actually I can't remember anything about last night after we got back from a hunt"

"a hunt? You shot an animal? And who's we"

"no what ? Me, you and Dean."

"Dean, the boss?

"boss? What ?"

"Sam you guys are going to get in trouble for talking"

"who are you?"

"y/n it's Ian, are you high? Wouldn't be the first time" He laughs.

"no I don't do drugs."

He huffs a laugh "yes you do, we smoked last week at that party."

"what? No I didn't even know you last week."

"everything okay over here?"

"Dean?" "your hair's different" you whispered but they all still heard.

"I don't think shes feeling very well today." Sam says.

"since when do we work here? " You asked.

"...................did you hit your head or something?"

"actually -."

"why don't you take a sick day. I'll see if Brad can come get you. Let's go to my office."

You pick up your jacket and phone. "Brad? Who's Brad?" Following Dean to his office. He shuts the door.

"is something going on I should know about."

"no but something doesn't feel right about this place."

"you mean work?"

"yeah we don't even work here. I mean what even is this place?"

He stared at you with a confused face "Look I don't know if you're doing drugs or something but it isn't appropriate do to them before or at work okay? I texted Brad and he said he'll be here in 10."

You got sad. Why was he being so mean. You just whispered a quiet "okay".

Some guy came in asking if you were okay. He was about 6'1, skinny and looked like a normal guy. No plaid.

"um, I'm fine."

"okay let's get you home then." He started walking towards the door and you stared at Dean, you didn't want to leave him. You didn't know why but it hurt to leave a little something still felt off.

In the car it was quiet for awhile until you spoke up "so how do I know you?"

He rose an eyebrow and looked at you "are you that high?"

"I'm not high at all, clearly."

"sure and you Know me because we're dating."

"mmm-hhhm for how long ?".

"i don't know if I should be offended or not."

"I just feel like something's wrong or different i dont know."

"maybe you need to get a good night's sleep. More than 5 hours."

"yeah that sounds good."

You went in and laid on the couch since you didn't want to share the bed. "Why are you laying there Lets go to bed." He said.

"no! I mean no it's okay I wanna try here."

He frowned. "Okay then good night." He kissed your lips quickly and it felt so wrong.

Morning time -

You woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. You totally forgot where you were previously so you called out deans name. "Dean?"

"y/n? Are you awake?" You walked into the kitchen still groggy. You got a little startled when you seen Brad and not Dean.

"ready for breakfast?" Brad asked giving you a big kiss on the cheek.

"ha ha you know what I'm not feeling that hungry I'm just gonna head out." You were about to head out when you seen you were still in your clothes from yesterday. You quickly found your room and changed, seeing a paper with the name of your work and the address you took it and walked out. After about 26 minutes of walking you got to work. "y/n your running late." The girl at the front desk says.

"really?"

"only about 5 mins."

"okay thank you." You got to the 8th floor clocked in and went to your desk. Apparently you had a meeting 5 minutes ago probably about 10 now. You ran in and Dean spoke up

"nice of you to join us y/n." All eyes were on you now. Dick move.

"uh, yeah I'm sorry I walked to work today." He nodded but still looked a little angry. "That's okay, you can just do this week's article then right?"

Article?? "Um, but I just do sales."

"yeah but Josh can help you. Also, I need it by Thursday afternoon." You looked at the time and date on your; Tuesday 9:45 am. Great so only about two day.

"okay yeah." You say. Why does he hate you so much. Your lunch break was at 12:20 and apparently you had another meeting at 1 p.m. You were running a little late since you had to walk to go get breakfast, quickly jogging into the building, you bumped into someones shoulder knocking there drink over them and the floor. "I am so so sorry." You looked and saw that it was Dean. Great he already hated you. You pick up the cup and say "I'll buy you a new I didn't mean-"

"it's fine." You can see the anger in his eyes. "Oh.... alright. Well here's some napkins." You were holding napkins still from your lunch so you used those and started dabbing his shirt. "I got it alright." He said with a little venom in his voice.

"ooo-kaay." You say on the verge of tears. The next day you went to his office to give him a coffee and his response was " I don't like that kind. Back to work." Wow that was cold. The next three days were hard after that, you tried to avoid Dean at all cost.

Your three day streaks ended this morning when you walked into the elevator with Dean and some girl following. It looked like he was going to say anything but then glared at you so you looked away. He was kissing her the whole way up to the 8th floor. "See you later baby."

And now about 3 hours later hes calling you into his office....

You didn't say anything walking into his office and you didn't really look in his eyes or at his face much.

"please sit down." You did as told.

"So we've been on a small budget at the moment and sadly... You're one of the people that are getting laid off."

Seriously??? "Is this because of the coffee? I didn't mean it."

"it's not because of that."

"....okay."

"your last name is Friday and I would still like the article by Thursday afternoon." You wanted to cry.

"why do you hate me so much?" You whispered.

"it's not about hate it's about having a small budget." He gives you one of those fake smile with a shrugs.

"yes you do I see it in your eyes when you look at me."

"it's not hate it's just you're like a kid to me, always messing up, always having to clean up your messes. You haven't grown up yet." You were surprised to say the least.

It was like a wave energy just hit you

"you still act like a kid, you havent grown up yet. always messing up, and I'm always having to clean up your messes."

You remember Dean saying that to you before. The whole arguments came to you in pieces.

"you said that to me before."

"what?"

"I knew this wasn't right. you have to remember so we can get out of here"

"look if this is your way of trying to get your job back-"

"no, you know you remember. I said I didn't want to have that life anymore and then bam I wake up here. Trickster." The surrounding changed and you were in a completely empty diner sitting across from Dean and the trickster.

"I really thought you would be the first one to get it but not this time." He said to you.

"what?"

"deano over here got it this morning."

"what? And you didn't tell me?"

"I just wasn't sure if you remembered it yet."

"no you did know.... You kissed that girl right in front of me."

"yeah that was just a bonus" the trickster laughed.

"okay, okay I was still mad." You shake your head "so what you thought it would make me jealous?" He shrugged.

"okay." Your about to get up when the trickster speaks up "alright the point of that you bozos was that no matter how Angry you guys were you still Remembered and you definitely didn't want that life y/n."

"yes I do, you just did it wrong it would have been way better if I didn't have to see Him"

"oh please." Dean says.

"Would you two idiots just put that stuff behind you and move on. You still care about each other." You snickered. He snapped his fingers and you started choking, you flung your hands to your throat.

"stop your hurting her." Dean yells causing him to snap again, causing you to breath again. "Tell me that's not caring." He says and disappears.

"Ughhh" you walk over to leave but the doors were locked. "Oh come on!" You sat all the way across the room from Dean. It was quiet for a minute when Dean spoke up "you can't ignore me forever."

Silence. You didn't answer. After another minute you finally spoke up: "was she good in bed?" He squinted his eyes at you.

"I didn't sleep with her."

"that's surprising."

"you know you went home with someone too."

"yeah but I at least know how to control myself." He got mad but didn't say anything.

"I slept on the couch."

" wh-"

"I slept there because he wasn't you, it felt wrong."

"yeah it did for me too." You looked over towards him. You were caught off guard when he asked "do you really hate me?"

You slowly made your way towards him "hmm idk that depends.... Do you? Or do you think I always mess things up?"

"look, I was mad and I just said somethings"

"you didn't answer the question." He started slowly making his way to you now.

"we all have messes even me and Sam, you know that. but we all help to clean it up." He reaches you. "I missed you " he says.

"I'm sorry y/n for the what I said. I love you with all my heart, i didn't mean any of it. Please forgive me." He grabbed a flower from one of the tables and put it in your hand holding your other hand. You smiled that stuff girly smile and your heart melted at his actions.

"I apologize too it wasn't just you I said some things too. And I forgive you Dean."

"Good because I forgive you too." He said grabbing your face and kissing you. It was rushed but it was the type of kiss where you poured all of your feelings into it. You missed his lips and his hands on your face. You both heard "took you guys long enough." You pull away to laugh but Dean pulls you back to his mouth.

31 notes · View notes

rebelredcarnationn · 6 years

Note

all the ask questions. i want the juice

ahahaha ok this should be fun

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

-- I LOVE YOU BIIITCH, AND I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCHHHHH2: Did you get to sleep in today?

-- nope i went to bed a little after 6 am and then had to wake up at 8:30

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

-- wot? not sure what this means

4: Do you have siblings?

-- yee i have one older sister

5: How many kids do you want?

-- 2 probs

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

-- uhm? i havent really held hands with people i dont think lol

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

-- nope

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

-- yeah i think so

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

-- my dad lol

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

-- not that i know of

11: When’s your birthday?

-- very close to the troye sivan concert

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

-- yes it wasnt that long ago

13: What kind of phone do you have?

-- iphone 7

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

-- im wearing athletic shorts because i just got home from gymnastics

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

-- oHHHH YEAH

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

-- idk probably crying hahah #relatableteen amirite

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

-- write a paper 10/10

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

-- more or less

19: Last night you felt…?

-- mostly sad, scared, anxious

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

-- all the concerts im going to this year (p!atd, troye sivan, twenty one pilots)

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

-- no im a goody two shoes oops, also they track me so

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

-- almost 2 and a half

23: Are you a morning or night person?

-- night 100%

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

-- gymnastics probably

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

-- eventually

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

-- i would hope that i would pick up lol

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

-- no

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

-- nope just fixed that yesterday lol

29: How many months until your birthday?

-- including this month 4

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

-- uhm i eat peanut butter just like on a spoon most of the time

31: Did you like this past summer?

-- nothing im stressed and i miss my friends and i miss having stuff to do and i could go on for a while

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

-- eating yogurt and looking at instagram lol

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

-- i dont have an ex lol, but i would probably just like leave depending on how recent it was

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

-- “do you ship drarry?” (she said no, we are no longer sisters)

35: Your mood summed into one work?

-- word? im assuming? ok well, uh ‘sad’ lol

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

-- listening to paramore

37: What are your initials?

-- CJ

38: Are you a happy person?

-- no pft

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

-- i dont think i liked anyone 4 months ago?

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

-- the uk

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

-- not yet

42: What did you do yesterday?

-- ha i sat outside in a hammock in the rain for about 4 hours and watched the world cup

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

-- uh hopefully watching harry potter

44: How late did you stay up last night?

-- more like stayed up early, 6 am ish

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

-- yes

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

-- no lol

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

-- yes 100%

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

-- dont have an ex

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

-- dude all i remember about 2012 is the london olympics lol

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

-- dont have one, but i dont wish anyone was dead

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

-- yeah its red rn im probably doing purple next but im not sure leave sugguestions

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

-- depends on circumstances and the amount of time but probably not

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

-- yeah i sat under a blanket with my friend and watched it on tv lol

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

-- haha yeah and i shouldnt be rip

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

-- oh ive had this conversation with them they wouldnt pay for my college or wedding

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

-- all of the above but mostly side

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

-- uk

58: What would you change about your life right now?

-- uh my emotions and my friends emotions

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

-- i get upset every day lmao bet

60: Are you on the phone?

-- nope

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

-- forward

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

-- money

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

-- yeah lol

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

-- yeah like last week

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

-- yeah who hasnt

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

- at home lol

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

-- yeep

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

-- oh yeah multiple times

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

-- yeah ill probably take a nap later tbh

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

-- no i hope not

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

-- i mean yeah?

72: What’s your favorite color?

-- purple, black and red

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

-- uhm ive only ever liked one person in my life and we havent had a sleepover in a long time

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

-- oh all the time

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

-- yeah lol

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

-- YES YES YES

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

-- i wouldnt entirely say opposite but yeah pretty much

78: Does anyone call you babe?

-- no one does romantically

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

-- again with the opposite sex my dude, but i fully trust like 2 people

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

-- relationship

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

- im wearing a gray one rn

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

-- yeah rip

that was fun thanks!!

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shytiff · 3 years

Text

August 2021

1 - morning walk with ness mendel to palm hills. my dumb ass decided to do a bit of run. my heart was screaming by the time we hiked lol. continued with some youtube dance work out at mess. had kanayam as always. the fish and chicken somehow tasted even better than usual. afternoon nap. had muesli and simba again.

2 - a hectic BP slash usila slash mtbs day with dr arief. Tried sop bebek h syafei and sate bandeng. Worked out w renata to a 20 mins pilates vid and 2 madfit songs and one 5 min stretch. Dinner was tofu soun seaweed and egg soup courtesy of renata. And baked banana with ovomaltine lolll im so grateful friends give me food.

3 - in usila today but turns out theres still one more day of vaccine in kantor kecamatan, so nessa and i went. We screened together w dr arief. Finished at about 2 pm. Can finaly eat at like 3ish after getting to the mess. Felt a bit of headache and my nose starts to go runny. So i slept. But my nose was so blocked. So i asked renata for her boiled noodle. Felt a bit better. Cleared my nose. Slept.

4 - it did feel better, finally. The soreness i felt in my abs yesterday gets worse today lmao. BP w nessa. orientation w dr harnis. talked ngalor ngidul about love life et cetera at our room lol

5 - fasted today. sahur was rice, crispy mushroom and abon since i felt sick of eating egg. it seems that love life talk continued today at BP w dr anggi. printed stuff at kubang wates. bought kepak bandeng at RM tajuk and some snacks in indomaret. turns out Prof gave me one more ppt to do, for PIT. and the manuscript deadline is on the 8th :) immediately started doing something about it since now i know ppt and word making rly takes time

6 - muesli and pizza from alfia for bfast. vaccine today w dr lutfi. talked with kang ade and turns out he lived in kalideres before lol. bought don’s burger for dinner and ate it with fried egg.

7 - MTBS today. got a lot of free food. read stranger than friends. went to transmart w nessa to buy stuff. did the word for Prof’s PIT topic acompanied with lofi study on the tv accompanied with nescafe latte. taste kinda.. weird.

8 - ran a bit today, alone. bought nasi uduk for 5000 and i added scrambled egg. continued the word and finished it at like 11 am. sent it. relaxed for a bit. read black mirror. lunch was from labbaik but things went shit and i ended up paying 72k lol. printed document stuff w nessa and went to palm hills in the golden hour. ate together w the gals. played scrabble and talked a bit with fianti until almost 11 pm.

9 - had left over chicken and pizza for bfast. usila today and the patients came back to back. bought kanayam while waiting for 2 pm. slept. did (so little) work of ECMOCARD SAP. im so research dumb.

10 - had steak and rice and renata’s veggie soup for bfast. vaccine today at vivo near intermedia with teh dian. waited for a mother with 9cm dilatation in ugd with nessa, but it took so long so i went back first. met up with atikah at o seven lmao. she arrived at like 12 and waited at palm wates. tried carbonara sphagetti (yum! but not fulfilling enough) and fried tofu. slept early and i probably passed out at like 930 pm. atikah was talking w ratnaa and we’re talking about the day’s randomness of atikah’s customer that somehow lives in cilegon

11 - woke up late. drove motorbike around palmhills to sightsee a bit. bfast at nasi uduk place around the corner. did some ngambi-together in green wates, accompanied by atikah’s 2 songs, repeated many times. went to mess. ate seafood in merak (a place near billiard cafe). got fish and shrimp. went to pulau kecil with pak asep’s help. walked around the tiny island. saw a monkey. the waters surprisingly clear. and then after maghrib Prof asked me about the ppt lol. so i hurriedly made it and emailed it, with zoom sesh 2mrw

12 - muesli for bfast. a hectic day today at bp x usila with dr lutfi (she went up for a bit for promkes). leftover kangkung and fish for lunch. hurriedly added some stuff to Prof’s ppt before the zoom sesh at 3. did 1 pamela reif vid and “attempted” her 10 min ab workout. dinner was soun and egg and renata’s veggie.

13 - vaccine day for ODGJ and special needs children ft. dr Arief. finished at like 10:15. bought discounted wingstop (86k for 20 piece). was about to send Prof’s ppt but turns out there’s a ppt from the sponsor. in english. so i had to mold the 2 ppt and do some translation. finally sent it, and the literature. the sponsor used a lot of old literature lol.

14 - wingstop and rice for bfast. mtbs today. no patient lmao. bu ningrum gave me cimol again! and a snack called selondok. waited out 2 pm with nessa. there’s a mom that came with upper abdominal pain. it did not improve after ranitidine, so she was referred. mom dad etc came to cilegon. i vacuumed. bujing lia had itches within like 15 mins of entering my room :(( lol. since the bed was put out, renata and i slept in yoga mat lol. nessa went to damkar. but i dreamed of something that night.

15 - mom’s spaghetti for bfast. off to pulau besar at 7 am. walked around the island a bit. swam in pulau kecil. ate at saung bonang (<50k per person!). tidied up the hydrovacuumed bed. a 20 ish minute ab and glutes workout with renata. love life talk. accidentally turned on live video in cld lmao. talked with aisyah due to said live vid. gave some brownies and spaghetti to mendel lol. dinner was mom’s chicken, kentang balado and capcay.

16 - usila today. lots of patients with dizziness. ate mom’s chicken and spicy potato for lunch.

17 - free day today. picked up my towel from sodaqo laundry. nasi uduk for breakfast. lazed. washed my undies. lunch was meat soup made by renata. watched run bts while eating indomie. watched extreme job (quite hilarious). filled my logbook. slept at like 12 am

18 - spaghetti for bfast. no patient at kia. promkes about hypertension. some patients at igd today. my mistake today was not realizing the pneumonia on a 8months patient with severely dehydrated diarrhea :( there’s also a 4 yo child whose fever did not improve after like 3 hrs and pct and compress. i have to be better :(. lunch was kanayam. bought chatime together with ness tri. tried lychee milk tea and the taste did not combine well at all. imagined better productivity with nessa even though its less likely to happen lmaooo

19 - fasted and had nongshim carbonara dry ramen for sahur. BP today. Almost bought martabak but its just keBMan on my part.

20 - vaccine day today. Filled logbook. went to mess and went back again to cibeber through the rain when i was called by the teteh. Helped the delivery (the mcroberts, to be exact), and got some hecting. The midwives were rly kind :) ness ren were sleeping so i got some silence for myself. It was nice. Tidied some stuff and slept

21 - mtbs. Whatsapp class for pregnant woman abt c19 vaccine. Bought martabak hokky medium (50k,green tea, chocolate, ceres and cheese). Turns out alfia also bought martabak assen. Fried mom's chicken and ate it with renata's porridge. Movie night, watched under the gods 1 along with popcorn

22 - woke up kinda late if i wanted to run, but the weather was cloudy and nice, so i went out at 7:15ish. ran a bit towards KS complex behind mess. walked through a jogging track, empty houses, krakatau bike park. played badminton with tri. washed undies. ate mom’s food for bfast slash lunch. napped a bit. off to o seven, bringing mom’s brownies. ordered green tea latte (25k), it tasted sweet and i had to remind myself that its not matcha lol. did some logbook and literature search for prof’s ppt. ate renata’s broccoli. folded clothes. tried nessa’s scarlett scrub. put on some lotion. mask. turned on fianti’s candle (smells rly nice and calming!). vcall with fi, scrabble and some talks. and suddenly its 11pm

23 - usila today. quite a lot of patients, so much that i was thirsty. dr yanti called since she needs some preskas docx. lol so sudden. bought mizone and dimsum kuy (10.5k with gofood pickup promo). the dimsum was good and fulfilling. didnt do anything else much in the mess. read a painter behind the curtain. it was rly rly good. all the characters made sense and had great insight. some are assholes (im looking at u, Raymond). ate the keripik mom bought from sidimpuan. first time actually trying it. its actually not that spicy lmao i used to think its the spiciest thing in the world. banana, brownies and protein shake for din din.

24 - empty KIA today. no promkes. or UGD patients. some mentoring on preeclampsia by dr Arif. went to BNI but turns out our card havent been activated yet. cooked mom’s sphagetti sauce (thats not enough amount) along with egg and cheese. yum. had banana brownies and protein for dinner. started trial to blinkist

25 - BP today. reasonable amount of patients, accompanied by blinkist. tried ngikan by gofood pickup (17.5k). i still prefer kanayam’s fish and nasi liwet. a pregnant woman came to UGD. so i went back at like 7 pm, but turns out the mom went back home lmao. mas apit said i shouldve contacted him. point taken. so a nicely lit cafe along the way to pkm called Serada, so i tried it. It has industrial vibes. Got latte (25k). did some logbook. Read some blinks in bed

26 - vaccine today. Both screening and getting moderna lol. My arm hurts. So far no fever. bought roti O croissant and the usual coffee bread for 12k using gofood. Watched weathering with you. Turned on the candle. Read blinks

27 - arm hurts. but thankfully its mtbs. slept while waiting until 2. kanayam sambal matah for lunchie. finally took PCT that solved my headache and incoming fever and arm pain bcs i dont want to stumble while on the motorbike. watched harry potter #1. washed clothes and filled some logbook, powered by left over serada latte. need to sleep so i wont wake up late 2mrw

28 - mass vaccination in SMP RJ with mendel kak esa. 800ish patients. Lots of food and snacks and coffee. Picked up by mom and dad. Slept on the way. And like magic, when i open my eyes im at the airport. Basking in the silence of my room

29 - relaxed. Moms nasgor for bfast. Met up with atikah puy in kopi sedjenak. Tried their croffle with nutella. Went to racheels since its her online grad day. There were also sil and dev. Lotsss of food was eaten that day. Doughnuts, moms brownies, fruits, phd bigbox. Atikah and puy also came along to racils. Had lots of fun talk.

30 - sahur. Off to cilegon. A bit of road fixture was going on. Stopped in the rest area since i wanted to pee. KIA/ugd today. There was a patient who had an accident with a truck. Her nails were falling off. I panicked when Prof asked for his ppt so i hurriedly finished it. Had moms chicken for iftar. Fell asleep after maghrib

31 - usila. Renata fried bakwan and tofu and fish and chicken. Lotsss of fries yum. We played with makeup and ness set up her ling light. I imitated jks tattoo using eyeliner lol. Did the word for Prof. Jk went live for his bday!! I listened until i fell asleep (lol hes still going)

0 notes

wiener-blut · 6 years

Text

i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)

— what was your last…

1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao

— fave colours

12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways

23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future

24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖

26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely

28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days

30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn

33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago

35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips

36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)

37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?

38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear

39. blood type: 0 positive, i think

40. nicknames: Lily

41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen

42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them

45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding

46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that

50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao

51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens

— more general

52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay

53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u

54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet

55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face

56. want: to cuddle honestly

57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis

58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes

61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually

62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)

63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: probably

71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily

74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here

— do you believe in

75. yourself: ugh

76. miracles: i want to

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: i want to lol but no

79. angels: fuck yes

— misc

80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana

82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really

83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u

84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that

#tag thing #aaaa god that was so fun but a bit time consuming tbh lol

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dawniel · 4 years

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a tag update

I saw this tag I did in Jul2017 I was almost 18 and I'm being crazy nostalgic rn. I’m trying to give an update to my answers and have a look at my growth. if the answer is the same I'm leaving it, you’ll see what I mean. The changes are so unbelievable to me and I am proud of my progress.

THE LAST…

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: from my dad school office for academic enquiry 3. Text message: “did you even listen” “goodnight babe” 4. Song you listened to: God Knows I Tried Level of Concern tøp 5. Time you cried: yesterday today lol

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: havent dated someone once yes 7. Been cheated on: how if i havent dated someone once no (? 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: havent had my first kiss yes 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: hahahahahah why would you ask so? do i look like-? oh yes? yes. (I was being so annoying but yea 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. dusty pink baby pink 13. white black 14. pale/ baby blue beige

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: so many internet friends god bless y'all kinda 16. Fallen out of love: never actually been in love? yes 17. Laughed until you cried: i guess?? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yea that isn’t hard I’m problematic 19. Met someone who changed you: of course I’m quite easily influenced by people actually 20. Found out who your true friends are: yes but I’m still figuring out tbh 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no yes 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: idek who is on fb 23. Do you have any pets: not rn:( 24. Do you want to change your name: no 25. What did you do for your last birthday: i forgot? wait let me check i had a cake with my parents and,,, sorry i really can’t recall probably had fun with my friends I ate sushi with my bf and went back home, my dad surprised me with a homemade cake I celebrated it with my parents it was very cute 26. What time did you wake up: 5sth am and sleeping again at 11am? and then waking up again at 1pm??? 830am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: doing the phil curly hair animation sleeping...who was I, also that animation is still cool good job old rosie 28. Name something you cannot wait for: the graduation dinner perhaps? i didn’t have much to look forward to,, death? for this coronavirus to be over! I was so sad then:( 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: just now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how i see life?and how i see myself? but kind of dont because i dont want to change everything about myself I have changed but I am excited for the growth to continue :) 31. What are you listening to right now: my father talking silence 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: does tommy count he’s a creep this is crazy.. my bf who is with me for almost 2 yrs is named Tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the me talking to me reacting the the world lately it is the limited working space at home to paint for my course 34. Most visited website: tumblr and youtube

35. Elementary: (not too important) 36. High School: high school is basically my life falling apart except that i know i want to do art in my life it is interesting looking back 37. College/university: for uni i hope i will get the offers sigh this depends so much on the grades of the entry exam and we dont know the results yet bitch I'm proud of you you got your first choice 38. Hair color: lighter brown 39. Long or short hair: short longg 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yea 41. What do you like about yourself: how i think (when I’m not depressed) in a quirky way I am serious with thing that are important 42. Piercings: i got four now 5 43. Blood type: b 44. Nickname: rosie my bff calls me lettuce head sometimes but I dont really have a nickname 45. Relationship status: hello darkness my old friend occupied 46. Zodiac sign: my sun is cancer 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite tv show: idk my mind is empty now Bojack/ the Good Place/ the end of the fucking world can't decide 49. Tattoos: desperately wanting one but none yET 50. Right or left hand: right handed

FIRST… these remain the same ofc

57. Eating: no 58. Drinking: no 59. I’m about to: sleep 60. Listening to: the typing sound 61. Waiting for: i wait for life to end/ but it never comes around (making a ldr reference that no one will ever know) i guess my other day out? another houseplant? idek i dont have much expectations going out and summer! 62. Want: to love myself, be a good person, and be happy. also be better at art. (all still true:) 63. Get married: maybe if i find someone special in the future yes uwu 64. Career: i would say art but I’m re considering fashion design again? I’m still contemplating,, to work in a social engagement art space

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs kisses 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for girls i wish to be similar, for guys taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk arms 71. Sensitive or loud: dont be loud but not too sensitive because i already am a sensitive fuck (is this abt sex and I didn't know hahahahah) sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both have its charm what can I say true but troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: i havent kissed someone yes 75. Drank hard liquor?: no I’m a good girl I’m still good,, yes 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on first date: havent been on a date no 79. Broken someone’s heart: i think no? but may to friends? I’m not sure probably 80. Had your heart broken: always I’m so flipping dramatic ffs I hadn’t at that time, and yes 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: until this day I still wasn’t sure if i had a crush on her yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: i wish fr I wish more than I used to 85. Miracles: yes but not when I’m in the situation 86. Love at first sight: kind of YES 87. Santa Claus: when i first knew him i was already presented that he is a fictional character 88. Kiss on the first date: can you believe in a kiss?? what does this mean?? 89. Angels: not quite but mo you right there’re a lot of good ppl out there that help us in life like angels

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: carol (still true❤︎) 91. Eye color: dark brown 92. Favorite movie: neon the professional not sure, could be About Time

#this has been a journey #you should find your old tag and do the same!#im gonna slp now #this is special #rosie rambles

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snowlilys-wife · 7 years

Text

85 Statements~!

Whew okay, finally got around to this. I was tagged by @crazyanime3, @catslab, and @adeslowmoqueen

The Last :

1.) drink: Dr Pepper 2.) phone call: The discord chat lol 3.) text message: Asia :3 4.) song you listened to: Smoke and Mirrors cover by Lollia 5.) time you cried: Chatting with Briana a few days ago, because she made me really happy, so I teared up lol. Im a sap 6.)dated someone twice: Technically not, but we were “unofficially together” on and off before he finally broke up with me in high school. 7.) kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t regret kissing him since we were together at the time, but I do remember being caught making out during school hours and that caused a lot of drama. 8.) been cheated on: Nope 9.) lost someone special: Yeah... 10.) been depressed: Every day lolol 11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: Not of age yet. Next year~!

3 favorite colors:

12.) Cerulean blue 13.) Black 14.) Red

In the Last year have you:

15. made new friends: Yes! My online friends here on tumblr and discord! 16. fallen out of love: I was forced to after being broken up with. 17. laughed until you cried: Yes ahaha. 18. found out someone was talking about you: The other day, at work, yes. It was very frustrating 19. met someone who changed you: Yep 20. found out who your friends are: I feel like I have, yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Both my ex and my current bf are on my FB so yes ahaha

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have Facebook friends that I don’t know irl 23. do you have any pets: My family has 3 dogs and tbh, im sick of them lolol 24. do you want to change your name: Nah, im good haha 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I worked and then just hung out with my friend? lolol 26. what time did you wake up: About 8am or so because of work. I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow <3 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with Asia about SakuMahi lolol 28. name something you can’t wait for the announcement for: OvO??? Uhhhh maybe more voltron since thats recent right now? XD lolol idk. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Around 10:30 or so (Its 12:30 am rn) 31. what are you listening to right now: Friend Like Me - NeYo cover 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Many...MANY things lately. my boss is a big pain in the ass right now though 34. most visited website: Tumblr and Discord lately <3 35. hair color: Light brown (dyeing it red tomorrow ^_^) 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Yehhhh <333 my bf ahaha. Also I have tons of friend crushes too ;3 38. what do you like about yourself: whew uh... depends on the day 39. piercings: two ear piercings in both ear lobes and then 2 cartilage ear piercings on one side 40. blood type: I actually have no idea tbh 41. nickname: Ino pretty much it ahaha. (Although the discord peeps have started calling me “Han” and idk how i feel about this yet lololol jk yall can call me whatever you want XD) 42. relationship status: Taken~ 😘 43. zodiac: Leo 44. pronouns: She/her but honestly I shouldnt have to say that 45. favourite tv show: Changes too often, but some all time favorites are Durarara, Ouran, Servamp, and the Total Drama series 46. tattoos: None 47. right or left handed: Right handed. 48. surgery: No... unless you count stitches? 50. sport: I played softball for 2 years in high school, but not since then 51. vacation: Going to Disneyland for my birthday on Saturday and Sunday :3 52. pair of trainers: idk....?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing atm 54. drinking: Nothin 55. about to: Lay down after I get this post done lolol 56. waiting for: too many things 57. want: too many things 58. get married: I plan on it, yes. My bf and I have talked about it many times 59. career: I want to be a freelance digital artist and do commissions and stuff but ya know

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Kisses. I love kissing <3 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Taaaaalllll >;D 63. older or younger: I prefer being older despite the responsibilities 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms i guess? I really dont mind 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: No way 68. drank hard liquor: Not 21 yet 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes! its so annoying when you lose your glasses and you CANT SEE. i feel like Velma when that happens. 70. turned someone down: Surprisingly a lot???? Idk why people like me?????? 71. sex on the first date: No no no no way 72. broken someone’s heart: Probably...I dont want to think about that ;;; 73. had your heart broken: oh man...... a lot

74. been arrested: I am a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: I’m surprisingly apathetic in those situations... It’s not intentional! But I just cant cry 76. fallen for a friend: Whew...every time man.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: On good days 78. miracles: Definitely 79. love at first sight: Nah. It needs time to grow 80. santa clause: Never have really. 81. kiss on the first date: If the timing is right and it feels right, then you do you. I personally wouldn’t unless I was absolutely sure 82. angels: Yes

OTHER:

84. eye color: Brown. 85. favorite movies: Emperor’s New Groove and Iron Giant

WOOO I DID IT.

ALL DONE

Most of my friends have already been tagged, but ya know, I’ll tag the ones I havent seen do it yet.

@mermaibee @twofabricatedtruths @kavourikarma @allshewhispers @tina-nightray @angel-of-music-hyde-no-longer

#tagged #oh man that was long #i got through it though #thank God #now off to lay down

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we-do-recover-together-blog · 7 years

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so its been a slow start on here but i havent had this tumblr for more then 24 hours still trying to figure out how to use this thing but i figured id tell a little bit about my story, when i was young i used to live with my mom my grandma aunt and uncle, mom was 17 when she had me and well at the least to say she wasnt quiet ready to be a mother then. she was always out with friends and partying and would leave me wit my aunt or uncle. i was very close with my aunt if anything she was the closest thing to a mother figure i had in my life i felt safe with her, the only person i ever felt safe with was her and that still stands to this day shes the only person in the world that never turned her back on me and never gave up on me she always took me out before valentines day to get gifts for my little crushes threw out school i could tell her things i couldnt even tell a best friend or counselor she was my safe haven. But sometimes my uncle would baby sit me and he would do inappropriate things to me and touch me and i was so young and i didnt know it wasnt okay i didnt know wwhat it was at all really until i got older and i was ashamed of it and felt like less of a man and really it took till i was about 21 years old to finally come out and say it of course i was only strong enough to say it to the only person i trusted to keep it a secret i was and still am a little bit ashamed of it and its something i need to work on but back to my story eventually with my mom struggling with addiction herself she would get kicked out of my grandmas sometimes so she would grab me put me in the car and we would just drive around all night i cant tell you how many countless nights i spent in the back of her car sleeping or at some strangers house., well eventually i cant remember how old i was exactly but i guess she just got tired of being the part time mom she was and i remember her bringing me to visit my dad who lived with my other grandma grandpa my uncle and my 2 aunts well we walked in the door and everyone was there in the living room just talking but as soon as they saw us it was like the world stopped and they just stared at us well turns out my mother was going on a vacation for a week with her new boyfriend well it turned out that week turned into weeks and longer with out calls or anything she just took off eventually one day we got a call and its the first time i can remember talking to her since she left and she was in jail she came back into my life sorta kinda just in and out until i was in 7th grade thats when i started t get out of control and full of anger and hate and was very rebellious the typical im gonna do what i want when i want how i was and no one can tell me shit about it getting suspended from school getting into fights you name it that was me i was a jerk of a brother a mean son and a worst nightmare for people i didnt like i wasnt scared of anything weather it was fighting jail or cops for years my mother was asking me to give her another chance and move in with her she was never around or home and she didnt really care what i did so i moved in with my mom and from there i fell into a group of older kids that liked to do drugs and fight and pretty much do any and everything that you shouldnt do and to me it was fun i felt cool and ilike doing whatever i wanted if i got arrested my mom wasnt home to ground me or atleast enforce it so i just continued to do whatever i wanted countless arrests and suspensions from school and the drinking and drugging i didnt realize till my most recent years the older kids were just using me because i wasnt really scared to do or say anything perfect little side kick well eventually my mother found a bowl i hadfor getting high and she kicked me out so i moved back to my home town but with my grandparents they are the sweetest souls i have ever met but they were old school and were not very strict so smoking pot and drinking where completely normal especially in my family i first overdosed when i was 15 years old i took about 70 something sleeping pills that the kids in my town started taking because they were untraceable on a drug and blood test like i said that was just my first overdose and yes it terrified my family but didnt faze me one bit not even a year later when i was 16 i overdosed on pcp started hanging out in a bad neighborhood and doing just about any and every drug available even after watching one of my bestfriends drop to the ground from the pcp just minutes before i did i woke up in a hospital bed still unfazed by it honestly i think a part of my thought it was “cool” and at that point i thought well i over dosed twice and still woke up so nothing can touch me at that point i was so wrapped up in drugs that my emotions were non existing and my thought process was just fuck it.the drinking and drugging just got worse the partying continued the arrests never ended cant think of a night that didnt end in running from the cops when i was 17 i first tried heroin i had a friend that sold it and we would go drink at his house and i found some in the bathroom so i tried it and well at the least to say that was the day my life completely i slowly continued to use it but not to the point where i needed it atleast i thought that shortly after i found out that 2 of my cousins were using heroin to of course i didnt tell them i was until we ended up running into eachother in the ghetto so we all started getting high together hiding in abandon buildings and shooting up heroin at this point smoking crack and shooting up cocaine too, two days in a row i overdoses on heroin and xanax the people i was with ran my pockets when my breathing stopped and threw me on the side of the roadluckly i was found by someone and brought to a hospital still wasnt fazed when i woke up and went home went to sleep woke up the next day and got high again in all of these events i was also in and out of the county jail like it was my second home eventually my family got on my ass so i went to a rehab for 28 days just to get them off my back, first day home i told my grandpa i was going to see a few friends and went right back to getting high the same day i got out of rehab. i started hanging out with this girl i met in rehab second time we hangout i end up overdosing again on heroin and alcohol thats when i found out i had hep C but im sure if my track record doesnt prov to be the same that didnt faze me either right back to using eventually i get arrested and charged with 3rd degree burglary get locked up in the county for two months and it violates my juvenile probation and i get sent to a juvenile prison, i stay there for about 18 months while im there my cousins are hanging out and one of them over doses and my cousin and our “friend” freak out instead of calling an ambulance they clean her up and tuck her under a blanket in the hotel room they were in and they leave her a few days later room service finds the body i find out about a week later and well i think the fact of being in jail and not seeing it with my own eyes just made it hard to believe that the cousin that used to babysit me that grew up with me was gone forever and i never got to say goodbye..and it doesnt stop there maybe two weeks later i get a letter and find out my other cousin killed herself. she just couldnt handle the shame she felt for leaving my one cousin in that hotel room .not gonna really get into details about how i felt after losing both of them because its almost impossible to describe.about a year later i finally get out and i move in with my aunt her fiance and my baby cousin i was on parole so i had expectations to meet like outpatient counseling so about 2 months after being out im doing good staying clean doing good with outpatient and my curfew well i wake up the day after my 21 birthday i wake up to a text that my bestfriend of 18 years is dead and that pretty much destroyed me and broke me down i started drinking and skipping outpatient or showing up drunk i shut down and pushed myself into the dark again i was trying to get parole to violate me and send me back i just gave up but it never happened and the day i got off i moved out of my aunts and with my friend in philly well that was all just party party party. at the time i was talking to a girl who i thought at the time was my life partner and all that bullshit but i was just blinded by after 2 years of nothing but jail and parole rules she was just the first female who gave me her attention well while i was in philly we were all drinking and me and her broke up i was drunk and emotional and i well i went into the bathroom and i took 3 90 count scripts of depression medicine and i took them all i took 270 pills give or take a few and tried to kill myself 10 minutes after i took them i blacked out well all i can say is i must have a a seriously bad ass guardian angel or i have a very big and meaningful purpose in life because i woke up the next day weak unable to move and throwing up non stop all the pills i took. it took me about three days to get back to me then i went back to jersey with my uncle not long after that i get hooked back on heroin and cocaine again and my life just well i can say i never been so low the insanity of it all is just well insane everyday i woke up and NEEDED drugs in one day i would think a million times how much happier i would be if i just ended the suffering if i just drove the car into the wall as fast as i could and just end the suffering, my mind was such a dark scary place i wouldnt wish it on anyone and if i didnt always want to get high just one more time if i didnt want to feel that rush one more time im sure i probably would have killed myself, one day i was getting high with my gf at the time and i was just i dont really know what happened but its like time froze and i saw who i was when i got out of jail and how bad things got and how far out there i was so i reached out to the only person i knew i could trust and that would help me my aunt and the next day she checked me into a hospital and i detoxed there while i was there my aunt and my mom found me a halfway house to move into..out of state, they didnt want me to end up like my cousins did the found me a sobor living home and a plane ticket and they went above and beyond to save me. so i moved and i was terrified that id fail i was in the halfway house for about 3 1/2 months to 4 and i turned into a completely different person that i never thought i could be i was happy and going to meetings and sharing and i met a girl and i fell head over heals for her the second i laid eyes on her shes been strong for me stood by my side and made me believe i could be more then a guy working as a cook and just barly making it that i can have that nice house and i can g=have a nice car or go back to school that i can build a family of my own it took me a while to realize or should i say believe in myself to be honest i didnt start fully believe in myself until 2 months ago since me and her have been together i have stolen money from her to get high on multiple occasions i have lied to her and flipped her brand new mustang going to get high i have snuck out and left her alone in bed to go get high she bought me a plane ticket to go home on my birthday for a week to see my family and my first day home i overdosed on heroin i have left her on three occasions because i broke the law and went to jail the first time was for 2 months for aggravated assault and she answered every call wrote me letters came to every court date she visited me and she stayed by my side the whole time.not even 5 days after i got out i stole her car and money to get high even after everything she did for me a month later i got arrested again and charged wit domestic assault for splashing her with water yea i know it sounds stupid but i was piss drunk and got out of control well she bailed me out of jail my drinking continued to get worse and i came home one night from work very very drunk and i snapped and i actually put my hands on her i hit the woman that did nothing but stand by my side and believe in me and give me chance after chance she carried my child the first time i went to jail and we lost it from all the stress she was under from supporting her child and paying rent all on her own a few months after she bailed me out we got pregnant again our own little baby boy Carter well our little baby boy wasnt so healthy and was in pain so we had to make the decision to abort it was what we thought best for him while she was pregnant i went behind her back and was talking to a female that i shouldnt have been talking to and said things i shouldnt have said while being in a relationship with this wonderful woman who has done nothing but fight for me and stand by my side well on july 27th i went back to jail again and stayed for about 2 months for violating my probation still this woman stood by my side answered every call and again came to court this was when i finally realized i was still being defeated by my addiction and while in jail i decided im not gonna be that person i was because i have a choice it is my life and i wont be weak anymore i started going the the steps again for real this time and taking every step to better myself and well guess who bailed me out of jail again? you guessed it she did and now i have been home for 6 days and i have trouble sleeping so i decided to make this blog to share my story help others like me most importantly help myself and not i am sitting in bed next to my girlfriend and my only thoughts are why didnt i take advantage of this time with her and also how easy recovery can be if you really try i mean we tried pretty hard to get high or stay high just half of that effort will save your life its saving mine usually nights like this id be searching the house for a car key that my gf has to hide from me so i dont steel her car but today all i care about is spending and enjoying every moment with this woman and what would be my next step that would be best for my family and me its gonna be a long road and a hard fight but i know i can do it just like i know you can do it stay strong everyone never give up and remember you are worth it and you are worth saving

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hehebread · 7 years

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i got tagged by the lovely @missbelgium to do this ask meme. Thank you so much!! this was a nice distraction for the evening! i promise to do the rest very soon.

LAST

1. Drink: just a glass of water

2. Phone call: my dad

3. Text message: “third wheeling intensifies” that or “YOU HAVE ALL MY LOVE”.

4. Song you listened to: Addicted To You by Avicii

5. Time you cried: Monday. you would think it was bc i had to go to work but no. it was “A Dog’s Purpose”. watched it late afternoon. made me cry like a baby.

HAVE YOU

6. Dated someone twice: nah cuz i never dated before.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i … dont think so…

8. Been cheated on: nah fam.

9. Lost someone special: yes, i have. more than i’d like to admit. sometimes it was my fault, sometimes it wasnt, but it all hurt the same.

10. Been depressed: i fall in and out of bad episodes. some days are more bearable than others.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i dont drink lol.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12-14: uhhh thats a tough one. red and blue are my colors, but purple strikes a chord with me too.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yesss, many!! here and irl.

16. Fallen out of love: hhhh in a way i did. not with people but with ideas, concepts, and dreams.

17. Laughed until you cried: ye s tahnk god

18. Found out someone was talking about you: um yeah for sure, but its nothing im not used. it happens y’know.

19. Met someone who changed you: i did actually. in the most subtle and discreet way. the thing is, i got close to so many people in the past year and just started picking up on their little quirks and mannerisms. and suddenly im swearing in spanish. puta madre i outta be ashamed

20. Found out who your friends are: sadly yah. wasnt too thrilled.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: my parents?????

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. thats why i semi-ditched fb.

23. Do you have any pets: YESS!! three chickens and a rooster. two lovebirds. we used to have an african gray but we gave it away to grandma to keep her company. we also have this rat who’d been living in our garage for a while now. dunno if that counts.

24. Do you want to change your name: i kinda do. but i feel like i got too attached to it at this point.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: a few of my lovely flatmates and I went out for crepes. got many happy birthday wishes that day. I was on my own most of it but thats okay.

26. What time did you wake up: fucking 5:52am.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably not sleeping. why u ask?

28. Name something you can’t wait for: …………………………………. havent looked forward to anything in a very long time. maybe deadpool. no clue.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: if i could, i’d give myself a better childhood.

31. What are you listening to right now: Home We’ll Go by Walk off the Earth

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably. my memory is shit at remembering stuff like that tho.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: some of my colleagues utter inability to communicate their feelings or concerns. my utter inability to communicate my feelings or concerns.

RANDOM INFO ABOUT YOURSELF

35. Mole/s: two on my right palm. one on my left palm. another on the back of my neck. one higher in my forehead, and two others in places that shall not be named.

36. Mark/s: stretch marks around my thighs.

37. Childhood dream: a younger (and much happier) version of me wanted to become a neurosurgeon or a heart surgeon. idk about that anymore tho.

38. Hair color: ver y dark black.

39. Long or short hair: pretty long. down to my lower back. two years ago it used to not reach down to my chin. i keep changing my hair style quite a lot.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: uuhhh yeah kinda but im hopeless everything is hopeless.

41. What do you like about yourself: umm tough one. my perseverance, probably.

42. Piercings: two in one ear and one in the other. might get more.

43. Blood type: O+

44. Nickname: Raz is actually my nickname, or rather, the english equivalent of it.

45. Relationship status: orders meal for two to have leftovers for later.

46. Zodiac: Aries

47. Pronouns: she/her or they/them but really it doesnt matter to me that much. anything goes.

48. Favorite TV Show: is this a good place to say i love drake&josh

49. Tattoos: nada

50. Right or left hand: right-handed

51. Surgery: on my gums. 5 yrs ago.

52. Hair dyed in different color: i used to dye it with henna.

53. Sport: track & field all the way. i dont do it anymore but id love to.

55. Vacation: yesss i love vacations. would love to travel around some more.

56. Pair of trainers: sketchers.

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: nothin. i should go get some melon.

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: go get melons. or go out for dinner in like two hours.

61. Waiting for: a sense of purpose or fulfillment in life… that or my fave author to update.

62. Want: my sister’s blueberry muffins.

63. Get married: maybe platonically but otherwise nah.

64. Career: im hoping to become a doctor. hoping.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: HUGS. ALL KINDS OF THEM. but cheek/head/forehead kisses are also very very pleasant.

66. Lips or eyes: …eyes.

67. Shorter or taller: shorter. i dont like looking up.

68. Older or younger: than who?? than what??

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice muscular arms. on ladies. yes.

71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure. i love people with energy.

72. Hook up or relationship: umm neither? but if i hadta choose then a relationship.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker. life’s too short.

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a stranger: as a greeting. yes.

75. Drank hard liquor: oh, no.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: to this day, no I have not, thank goodness.

77. Turned someone down: admittedly, yes.

78. Broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not.

79. Had your heart broken: yea </3

80. Been arrested: heavens no. not yet.

81. Cried when someone died: yes

82. Fallen for a friend: ……………………………………………..yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

83. Yourself: i try. i really do.

84. Miracles: ofc

85. Love at first sight: not really. that just doesnt happen. love needs time, patience, and hard work.

86. Santa Claus: hahaha nooooo. i dont celebrate the holidays.

87. Kiss on the first date: shrugs

OTHER:

89. Eye colour: dark brown

90. Favorite movie: for a very very long time, it was shrek, but then the memes happened so

I tag @wandschrankheld @awkwardslytherin and @snark-sniper and @of-pasta-and-potatoes. you guys dont have to do it ofc. but if you do, pls tage me!! i’d love to see it.

#i started this in two weeks ago and just now got around finishing it #im so ashamed #tage meme #long post

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