#i am gonna fight these demons

[ruinsofathen]

Who the hell am I ?

1. Drag me, Tiny Little Houses  2. & 11. intro: persona, BTS  3. lost in time and space, Lord Huron  4. Body of Land, Alexandra Levasseur  5. alejandra pizarnik  6. jorge luis borges  7. pinterest  8. two evils, Bastille  9. The book of disquiet, Fernando Pessoa  10. fear and loathing, MARINA  12. Essam Maroif  13. Angel Ploetner  14. A breath of life, Clarice Lispector  15. my soul was being destroyed, Naomi Watts  16. valley of the dolls, MARINA  17. Mirror, Ider  18. Paprika (2006) dir. Satoshi Kon  19. Claude Cahun  20. Feminine stereotypes by Romina Bassu  21. Andrés Cerpa  22. Idol, BTS  23. Perfect Blue (1997) dir. Satoshi Kon

#i am gonna fight these demons #damn depersonalization got hands #web weaving #words #compilations #parallels #poem #poetic #song parallels #art parallels #poetry #bts #intro: persona #marina #perfect blue #paprika #satoshi kon #pinterest #identity #identity crisis #depersonalisation tw #tw: dissociating #self realization #who am i #painting #i am nobody nobody is me #i hold nobody nobody holds me

[autisticandroids]

FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.

[youtube with closed captions]

dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.

(via @closetoyou1970)

#spn #vid #mind the warnings on this one for real #woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye. #pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl. #also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise #anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator #is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else #and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters #that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's #not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under #alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does #because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it #so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way #i am using them to make my argument. #oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to. #i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through #into everything in his life #that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

yk, its weird being Way Too Aware & In Control of yourself bc technically i believe im having a panic attack. but somehow i am Very Unbothered by this, bc i know whats happening and its illogical. my body's having an overreaction and i couldn't be fucked to join in

#im sitting here casually looking up symptoms to make sure this is a Panic attack and not a Heart attack #got those heart palpies got that chest pain got that sense of Derealization got that shortness of breath #i even feel a lil faint! ive even got a hot flash goin on! tightness in the throat! the whole enchilada #and yet! im somehow vibing... #my body's throwing a fit smh calm down bro its not that bad... #maybe you'll calm down if i drink some water and eat some fruit <3 #shoulda known this was coming... was lying awake at 4 am with really bad palpatations s. m. h. #honestly! this is very annoying! #my vision tried to tunnel exactly Once but i fought it off. idiot meatsuit.... #breathing exercises and internal mantras babeyyyyyy i got this shit on Lock #oh! and look at that! my heart is finally chilling out #still gonna eat water and drink fruit #yall should do that too. at least the water part #go drink water! go! shoo! #hydrate or diedrate! always pick hydrate! #absolutely unprompted #alright well that was fun. only lasted for about *checks nonexistent watch* over an hour #i dont think ive had one that bad before! it really tried to Get Me! #had to fight off the deep sense of dread and rising panic with a mental broom!! #finishing my rebels rewatch helped but still. damn. these demons have hands #my brain: OH WE'RE DYING WE'RE DYING ITS A HEART ATTACK WE'RE GONNA DIE AND ROT FOR DAYS BEFORE OUR BODY IS FOUND OH GOD ITS HAPPENING #hard cut to me vibing with a martini.... wii music on blast... hawaiian shirt On and Unbuttoned... #anyway. drink some water. get some fruit. Thrive!

[imminent-danger-came]

Every day I'm just like "MK pull your head out of your ass and focus on someone else for ONCE in your little lego LIFE"

#was thinking about the two (2) times we see MK actually help people who aren't his core friends #(LBD in 2x05 and those old ladies in 4x01) #and how when he's helping others he's generally still thinking about himself #Just who he is #like it's not "My friends! The city! They need help!'' #It's ''What about my friends? The city? They're all counting on me!'' #Or in 1x06. Assuming Mei was racing for him #2x10 ''I'm not gonna let you win'' #((Which I have a post to make about MK and Macaque's desires to win at all costs)) #3x04 ''How am I gonna fight the Lady Bone Demon'' when they are literally ALL working towards defeating LBD #3x11 ''What if we just get in his way?'' #4x08 ''It's always my fault!'' #I could go on #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk rant

[misferns]

nothing has had a more lasting impact to my vocabulary than mianite

it’s been an entire decade and i still cannot hear the word perturbed

#*captainsparklez voice* arE yOU PUrgETuRbED???? #Yes jordan. i am. #then there’s sick umbrella bro. such cute omg. #y u hef 2 be mad #no one needs to know how common it is for me to sing “’captainsparklez he’s a hero gonna take pollution down to zero’ #anyways. fighting the rewatch mianite demons tonight #mianite #captainsparklez

[meownotgood]

hear me out,, there’s only one bed trope with aki. with the whole group being trapped in that hotel because of the eternity devil. nothing to do but wait it out, every one else already called dibs on each of the remaining hotel rooms that weren’t completely trashed. leaving only one room left, but you and aki still remaining room-less. with the exhaustion kicking in, both of you just say “fuck it” and decide to share the room but lo and behold, it ends up being a one queen-sized bed suite. aki is internally panicking because he’s harbored a little crush on you ever since you first joined his division, and now he has no other option but to share a bed with you?! little does he know, you are internally panicking just as much as he is—. whew the only one bed trope rly has me in a chokehold, and so does aki scjnsbssj reader and aki deserve to share a bed and get handsy under the sheets! (and most definitely fuck)

ah..... only one bed with aki... I think it's such a good trope to pair with him because he's always so kind and respectful, if he had to share a bed with you, he'd feel so embarrassed...

he's swearing it's fine if he sleeps on the floor, but you're insisting that no, it's fine if he sleeps in the bed, which eventually progresses to him reluctantly caving and climbing to bed with you. he's clearly getting nervous, babbling as he undresses, "I'm gonna take my shoes off, should I take my jacket off too? I don't wanna take off too much, I mean it's like- I- I don't know, you're not uncomfortable, are you? you'd tell me if you were, right?"

the bed has plenty of room for the two of you, but somehow you end up getting closer and closer. aki tries his hardest to fall asleep with his back facing you, but it somehow evolves to his arms slung around you, your body pressed close to his. his heart is hammering in his chest, he's willing himself to just go to sleep already, but when your hands start wandering, when you're brushing your palms over his thighs and toying with his belt — your belt's still on? isn't that uncomfortable? here, let me help you with it — aki would know there's no sleep in sight, not for either of you

#and then you two have to go at it as quietly as possible so you don't wake anyone in the rooms over.... #aaaaabaababababa #aki wouldn't believe he's even doing this #you both are really trapped by a devil #you could never get out of here... and all he can think about is fucking you? #it helps to take the edge off.... I guess.... #he's wanted this with you for so long anyways #if you both aren't gonna get out of this #might as well do it #I'm sorry anon if I'm speaking total nonsense right now #I really wanted to answer you before I went to bed #but I am fighting of sleepy demons right now #so my brain is MUSH #I hope this answer was still satisfactory #ask mags

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

Had an unhinged brainwave about Crosshair and the longnecks earlier so thought I'd post it here too

#this was what i thought the song was about the first time i heard it. but people always seem to interpret it as repenting sins and boooooooo #all I'm gonna say is that there's a reason i make such an effort to portray Crosshair with such demonic imagery #he’s so heavily associated with black cats and ravens and just generally eldritch language #archetypal “““sinner””” #not the terrified child who was forced to fight tooth and claw if he wanted to survive #and what’s the layout of tipoca city?? pure blinding white #it’s an excess of “““““purity”””””” that hurts to look at because it’s SO BRIGHT #nothing but white. not a single flaw or imperfection allowed #and crosshair as the defect in the mould is seen as an aberration #hmmmmmmmmmmmm #what am i trying to say i wonder #this is definitely not a metacommentary on the worst of the church #because i couldn’t just write my silly little stories i had to go all tess of the d’urbervilles on it #stories where the “devil” is the hero and it’s the purists who are the real monsters my beloved #burn em in hellfire cross #morgan speaketh #tbb crosshair

[freckleslikestars]

The X Files: Demons

Living Polaroid Project: 96/219

#I am like 90% sure that if I don't skip any more days I'll have the project completed by new years day #that's my goal anyway but I'm notoriously bad at maths in base ten so #WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE GOOD EPISODES SO DARK?! #gonna go fist fight crisp cracker in a car park #seriously I just wanna know why he decided to only light the show with 10 watt desk lamps #such a puppy dog mulder episode #that last gif hurts so bad #also another fabulous occurance of the grey cashmere sweater #which...if my partner called me being like 'im covered in blood' I would not choose light coloured clothes to wear #living polaroid project #living polaroid project season four #my gifs #xf gifs #msr #txf #x files #the x files #demons #another example of an episode where scully goes ride or die for him #I'm gonna make a gifset of some of my favourite ride or die moments

[iguessitsjustme]

Jazz for Two Ep 1 Music Thoughts:

I just finished episode one and I have some tiny music thoughts I would like to share. I'll do a whole analysis at the end probably but I don't know how long that's going to take me. I've been fighting demons. Anyway brief thoughts:

His dad might be a world class musician but he's a piss poor teacher. If he needs to have the piece memorized (for why????) then the sheet music should not be in front of him. If he's been practicing it for as long as you claim he has been, it's likely he's just using the sheet music as a crutch and doesn't really need it.

Also if you're a world class musician, you should know better than to treat your music student that way. Look at him. You sucked all the passion out of him.

I liked the way we got two little short and distinct musical themes for those two side characters (I'm guessing they'll be our side couple maybe?) but I was not a fan of how it was done. It was too abrupt and out of nowhere and no other characters got the same treatment. After watching more, I might change my mind on this, but for now, I wish it was done differently.

I'm going to be honest and say I like the idea of jazz more than the actual genre and I've been horrendously spoiled because my older brother and his friends are all jazz musicians so I have heard some good live jazz (no you don't understand I mean good jazz). And I do believe jazz needs to be performed live. Recordings just don't do the genre justice. Live recordings maybe. But I'm going to be very interested to see how this show handles jazz as a main genre of the soundtrack.

That said, I love that Yoon Se Heon found and fell in love with jazz. It is the perfect musical genre for a musician that feels stifled by his environment. Most genres have set rules to follow. Jazz musicians are exceptionally impressive because they have to have such a strong understanding of music theory to be able to break those rules and do so with other musicians. They create a kind of musical chaos but they do not overshadow one another or overpower on another. The music still sounds good even though it's quite literally deviated from the norm. So Se Heon taking his upbringing and his lack of control and finding the one music genre that lets him lose all control but still utilize the skill he's built up is amazing. He gets to let loose but still play. He gets to learn to love the piano and love music the way his dad does but in a different way and different style than his dad. His father lives and breathes classical music and forcing his passion and love for it onto his children just drove Se Heon into the waiting arms of jazz.

#jazz for two #jazz for two the series #jazz for two series #jazz for two bl #btw the demons i'm fighting are my headaches #it's been bad the past two days #near constant but i think it's starting to fade #i'm gonna try to watch one more episode tonight and i'll try to post one of these after each episode but i make no promises #i have other thoughts on the music but i want to wait to see what the show does before i post those #cause i am watching this specifically with the intent on paying attention to the music so i'm going to be more critical of it than normal #and i have some concerns but we'll see

[lishenkaaa]

not to point out things that have definitely been pointed out in the twenty year history of this game, but the way miles at first completely bulldozes over the fact he left the country and left ppl thinking he was dead and is like "you can't do this alone, but don't worry phoenix, im here and with teamwork we'll discover the truth" while wearing the smuggest little smile and then only dropping it and reverting to his angsty arm grab when phoenix (rightfully!!!) points out how shitty his behaviour was..... im gonna be sick

#look #i'll admit my characterisation might not be perfect rn bc i still haven't even finished aa2 lol #but ALSO #he didn't think he was gonna be missed!!! #at least not as a person!!! #he comes back and he's sayinglook at how i've changed #look at how i no longer wanna be the demon prosecutor who just fights to win. look at how im ready to find the truth. to help. #but phoenix is still mad at him bc he just LEFT and he even makes digs at him that he STILL is the demon he used to be!!! #bc all he can see is that miles didn't want to stay and just let him think he was dead for a YEAR #im gonna shoot myself in the foot #this is gonna be so funny if im completely off the mark #but honestly idc. i am thinking (threat) #i will return to these thoughts after i finish aa2 dw #omodru talks #ace attorney #narumitsu #im just having so many thoughts on this fucking scene

[walleeli]

We are at the absolutely BRUTAL stage in the demon slayer season where the new episodes feel three seconds long and in that time nothing gets done and everyone gets soooo injured and killed 😭😭😭 sick and twisted reality of watching as its released…

#kny spoilers #demon slayer spoilers #vaguely #update: i am so fucking SCARED #im trying to like. keep track of whats gonna get covered this season and like ok #SPOILERS FOLLOWING #after episode 3 i looked at how much content got covered and basically we got through one volume. #and so like. hypothetically if they were to keep that pace #we could get to and THROUGH the hashira training arc #and tbh after this weeks ep im thinking thats… less likely #but it would be…. so fucking baller for them to end this season on #MASSIVE MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING #the masters estate getting blown to smithereens with him inside #like that would go fucking CRAZY #like i feel like we could do the hashira training arc and the explosion in one 45 minute episode #like if we have an 11 episode season like last time. #but i feel like these fights are probably gonna take longer than that #idk. is this making sense to anyone but me. #in the more likely case we DONT get through/start hashira training #my next favorite possible end point is #HUGE HUGE SPOILERS AGAIN IM SERIOUS DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR URSELF THIS IS THE BIG ONE #after nezuko conquers the sun we end on muzans like. creepy joyous smile about her doing the dang thing #i think that would be another really good horrific way to end it #sorry. ramblings of a mad woman. #talk to me about demon slayer my beloved demon slayer

[agrimmbrothersgrimmestgoose]

I just have to say, my Gender Expression is unapologetically Sanji from One Piece and Momo Chiyoda from Demon Girl Next Door (ESPECIALLY season 2)

(I tried SO HARD but I couldn't find a good pick of Momo's cat shirt, just know those cats are YING YANG CATS! yes I have an embroidery pattern I painstakingly made, yes you can have it if you want just shoot me a message (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡)

They are just Butches your honor, but like my specific flavor of Butch and I love them and their fashion SO much

I deadass am teaching myself to sew partially cause I want better clothes w/o spending money AND cause I Need Embroidered Shit on my Hawaiian Shirts & They Don't Make Cat Graphic Tees Like Momo's But I Have A Needle And Hubris

Anyway, if you are looking for a sign to Steal His (your favorite character's look) this is it, don't let social rules stop you, you'll look hot as fuck

#sanji #one piece sanji #momo chiyoda #demon girl next door #am I insane? #yes absolutely no question #I have some projects on what I call my Hubris List #however; hear me out here #sometimes dressing in a fun way is super simple and fun #i added like 3 embroidery flowers to a sweater and BOOM i love that sweater so much more now #did you know that pearl snaps not only are super cheap they are really easy to install? #Im in the process of switching all my shirts to pearl snaps (cause I love them) #Pearl Snaps Are Queer Fight Me About It #ANYWAY! #I really like funky silly little outfits and dressing butch in a way thats comfy but still ✨fashion✨ #this post is mostly an excuse to chitchat about it XD and to motivate myself into finishing my tester Coveralls so i can make my Real Pair #(i just got some fancy table cloth material thats PURPLE BROCADE!) #gonna make some bomb coveralls >:3c

[carehounds]

No art for awhile because my brain is being funny but I hope u all know that clump 2 were very very real people with entire lives before everything clump 3 arent. if that helps, maybe, perhaps.

#I GOTTA write everything all down but its just so daunting #resisting the urge to just tell you all whats gonna happen i am fighting demons #and sensory issues #directors cut

[boxwinebaddie]

JAIL

JAIL FOR GIVING US A SNEAK PEAK AND GETTING US EXCITED

JAIL

IF THIS IS ABOUT TO KILL A KING!!!! I AM SORRY, I KNOW!!!! RIP

i am still developing the plot <3 -- which you can still totally ask abt, but unfortunately a lot of it might not be Permanent because my tsot style universe is still largely In The Works? i do, however, place very high value on all of ur opinions of my writing and my world building, so it would be very sick to get ur opinions on what i've got?

but again!!! trying not to crutch or base my self worth around what others think of me! teacher nina modelling self help and self love! xx

either way! you guys know how i am, so i'll probably just post random dialogue or excerpt snippets here or there/test guinea pig/or rather, ~test stripe~ things out on you guys thru my tumblr blog bc as of rn i'm a little scared of ao3 because of how stressed out it made me. :'(

its nice here tho!!! and You Guys are nice!!! so as a step towards being kind to Myself, i'm going to use this blog as a place for uplifiting and inspiration and share my deranged thots when i feel inclined to <3 and if they pop up, i hope they thrill you as much as you all thrill me :')

-uncle nina, trying to teach myself how to use hath, thy and prithee

#i like #have ideas but theyre not fully recognized #like high fantasy universes are so complicated to me #same with scifi #its why i held off on tfbw and tsot fanfics bc i am very crazy abt the world building and it has to make sense to me #like the tfbw one allllllmost makes sense to me and it finally makes enough sense for me to write oneshots abt it or hcs #so if u want those fire away #but like anything about tsot ur just gonna have to take w a grain of salt from me bc im very indecisive and like #idk all the provincial life kingdom stuff and social hierarchy things have to make sense for me it will fuck w me if its messy #but i love u guys thank u for supporting my weird ideas & gut feelings and i hope conflicted antihero assassin stan is Giving #i honestly love him or what i think i know abt him in my head which is that he wears the big white puffy sleeve tunic #but dreams of silver suits of armor and carrying a big sword instead of food and drink to belligerent travelers at the inn ok #peasant stan...please one chance #i do not care that u have demons bestie...Boo Bitch! #place thine lips upon mine!!! come hither! make haste!! #like maybe he is committing treason but at least hes committed okay!!! my man is loyal OKAY! *me: in denial* #alien kite phantom theres stan disorder jersey & sexy cursed sellsword stan are my morally dubious and mentally ill shawties #i will fight for my kids #i will be fighting for my life tho smh

[ace-and-ranty]

My skepticism for The Scholomance adaptation is that, like, they bought the rights for this series before The Last Graduate was even released. I find it doubtful that anyone involved had a sincere belief this series would do well in screen. Much more likely, I bet, is that some Universal executive saw a popular-ish series getting called a “Dark Harry Potter” and immediately creamed his pants.

Because. Really. If you want to adapt Naomi Novik to screen? Spinning Silver is RIGHT THERE! Uprooted is RIGHT THERE! They would be so much easier to adapt; both have big action scenes, a much more straight-forward plot, and the exposition is largely done to the protagonists, as they learn new information, instead of info-dumped by the protagonist. 

But of course they zeroed in on The Scholomance, because how are you gonna pass up a Harry Potter-esque trilogy in this year of the Lord 2020?.

#The Scholomance #my eyes are rolling to the back of my head. #I don't trust Hollywood with this story. I really do not. #Like. #Spinning Silver's finale is composed of a titanic fire demon trying to devour a glass mountain. #Uprooted's finale is a fight in the woods against an evil fae queen. #ADE's finale is El STANDING THERE A LOT while Orion fights mals #and in writing it is absolutely delightful. you're right there with El in the fear and adrenaline of her head. #but VISUALLY? That is QUITE A BIT BORING! #I am gonna be a full snob here and say. I doubt anyone involved in a Hollywood adaptation REALLY understands what makes this series special.

[todayisafridaynight]

theres no better place for my ichi ringtone to go off than during my exam tbh

#snap chats #i DO NOT want to talk about my exam <- is gonna talk about it #i get bad physiological reactions to tests itd be hilarious if it wasnt annoying #i hate taking tests cause ill know the answers 100% but then i go to take the official test and i 👁️👁️ i forget literally everything #LIKE AS IM FILLING IN THE ANSWERS I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT MY BRAIN JUTS REFUSES TO PUT THE RIGHT ONE #I REMEMBER THE INFO I JUST CANT PUT THEM IN THE RIGHT SPOTS I GET SO NERVOUS AND FOR WHAT i hate tests. #theres nothing i can do tests have been my bane for years and ill just have to live with my educators thinking im stupid <- i am #anyway. during my exam yeah. quiet-ass room and then you hear my dork-ass ringtone go off like HELP I WAS JUST 👁️👁️ #now the whole classroom knows youre a dweeb. jk no one at my school knows rgg its fine #anyway im upset and im fighting every demon telling me to go to the bar and get a drink #NO. BAD SNAP. BAD COPING MECHANISM. YOU ALSO HAVE NO MONEY ENOUGH #i have my last class of the day in twenty minutes i wanna curl up in a ball instead but thats not how life works now is it so BYE #wait can i talk bout my morning cause it was goofy #i called up my doc to get my DRUGS refilled and she was lookin over my doc like #'my man you have too much testosterone' My Sister In Christ No The Fuck I Don't LMAO if i hear one more 'sorry ma'am' i just might lose it #funny world innit.. ok my class starting soon thats all i wanted to share LMAO BYE