#i cant get pics rn but i might be able to in a bit

[fullmoonfireball]

there is something deeply surreal to seeing doodles of Caine TADC in the staff area of a dental office

like i guess of all fictional characters, it's makes sense that the dude whose head is just teeth and eyes would be there, but still

#Rambles Into The Void #i cant get pics rn but i might be able to in a bit

[namuneulbo]

week sixty-four

this week. woah. it was......... a lot.

well, to start off... i have a crush on v. i figured this out on monday and since then its gotten so severe lol. monday to friday was spent thinking ab him and also apparently not hiding it very well from l. ill come back to this later but this entire chapter will for sure be ab him and also in sm detail.

ive kind of talked a lot ab him and just my “new friends” in general a lot w l and my mom. i think my mom even has suspicions that i like either d or v (bc i talk ab them the most prob).

i started spamming n, s and t and also i, m and t ab him. i wont be able to cover what i told them all individually but n def received the most detailed info yet only one pic (WHICH WAS A HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING ONE I TOOK ON BEREAL WHEN IT CUT EVERYONE OUT AND THEIR POSES SO IT WAS JUST HIM NOT POSING AAAAA I FEEL LIKE A MOM WHO TAKES PICS OF HER KIDS WO CONSENT TT). i talked A LOT w s ab him too and w t i just spammed quickly on monday/tuesday i think, i cant bother checking. when i told i, m and t they immediately asked for a pic and i was scared theyd bully me lol but they said hes solid WOO! s approved of him too, saying the nail polish and his guitar made him seem very much like my type.

ill give u all who might be reading this a lil description of his pros. i would say a reminder to future me as well but yk maybe we end up together so :* heres what weve got so far:

- hes taller than me.

- has a niiiiiice voice.

- nice sense of style. its like basic as in plain colors (pretty much only black, hell wear white sweaters or super dark colors). it looks so good.

- hes a metalhead (+ we have two bands in common, ghost and polyphia).

- piercingssss!

- hes so talented, like he can play guitar, drums AND piano flawlessly.

- hes funny.

now to his cons: he’s not fully single. so. um. idk if theyre dating or in a situationship or just talking but its something for sureeee.

i dont ever want to like, break them up on purpose or like make moves on him while theyre talking bc im not a fucking douchebag. it is quite sad seeing them together though. i cant help but dislike the girl hes w a bit even though i dont want to, shes really cool and gorgeous and nice im just so O_o

on wednesday we had band class and i was MESMERIZED. he had a concert that same day so he was dressed up in a navy button-up, black jeans cuffed over a black pair of chelsea boots. i had to leave a couple times during practice bc i had to practice harmonies w the singers and i remember literally feeling sad ab not being able to stare at him playing the piano so perfectly.

in the evening i went out to the bar for the weekly music quiz they do. i went w a, c and v at first but later on d and p joined (not dan and phil sadly). i was super awkward lol but it was my first time hanging out w just them and it felt so,,,, new to me. im glad i did it though, ig? i got to see him even if it was awkward. also, i think d has my old backpack that i left to a thrift shop. its a floral pattern w black faux leather details and gold buttons. its quite cute and it fits him really well.

i did eventually warm up a bit but nothing crazy.

i was already comfy around c but after wednesday, i was also comfy around d. he was so nice that i even questioned if i liked him as well but turns out i was probably really desperate TT i tend to never be interested in ANYONE when i like someone and thats really obvious now. even though my chances w v r low, i still deleted all my dating apps and stuff bc i dont have the desire to go on them as of rn.

on friday i had been CRAVING a party to go to all day. i was just waiting for someone to send a message saying “yo, party at vs place!”. we usually party at his place. i literally ranted to my mom ab how bad i was hoping for someone to throw a party and this wasnt even just bc of getting to see v but i was genuinely so socially starved. finally, around 19:30 id say, someone sends a message in the class gc telling everyone ab a party at his place. i immediately message l begging for them to come w me and even saying if they dont, ill go either way bc i want to go so bad. they end up declining and i go to the party myself. i get ready in a few minutes, just fixing my day-old makeup and eating and drinking water and stuff so i wont throw up the second i drink alcohol. i was so quick and i was walking w such speed around the house so i think my mom has probably started to connect the dots now that theres someone i like bc im never that excited ever. i leave along w my mom who took the dog out for a walk. since v lives so nearby she walked w me pretty much the entire way.

id never usually be this confident but i had been talking w s the entire day and she hyped me up SO much. i actually love her sm for that. i arrive there, v throws down his keys from the balcony, i catch them and go up to his apartment. i was a tad bit quiet in the beginning but i really tried to force myself to just relax and look cool and i did after a little while. we blasted metal and one of the first things they did was that everyone of them, c, d and v, went out for a smoke so i joined in even though i dont smoke but i enjoyed the lil passive smoking sesh on the tiny balcony, stuck behind d and v.

(bereal just went off, vs so cute).

anyways, i quite quickly felt more relaxed, i kinda forced myself to sit more,, relaxed and stop fidgeting and i got more included in the convo by queueing songs to play. i first asked v to queue kingslayer by bmth and babymetal and he was super excited ab it so i was so glad he liked it. we listened to it on a party a whileeee ago and i remember being so excited ab the fact that he liked that song too. a had arrived by now and hes v good to have there in that sense that he will make me join in the convo somehow if i havent talked in a while. he made me queue another song and i queued drowning lessons by mcr. i was so caught by surprise and i always get so shit at using tech shit and the internet in front of ppl, idk why, so v started guiding me on what buttons to press TT i hadnt thought of drowning lessons in the first place actually but i just kind of naturally went w mcr for some reason and then ended up choosing my fav song by them. we listened to it and v was like “DID HE JUST VOICE BREAK???” and i was like “oh, maybe? i mean its their first album so the mixing and recording might be a bit shit” and he replayed the part and was like “THERE IS A VOICE BREAK!” and c started explaining to him in distress that its just how u sing punk TT after a while v was like “its still going? how long is it?” and checked and it was right before the outro and i was like “waittt, we havent gotten to the best part yet!” and he leaves it and the breakdown comes and he does a stankface and just looks at me like “oh, a breakdown ending, hell yeah!” and i was so happy haha

last song i queue is taking you out by passcode. as i was typing it v read out what i was typing and kept guessing songs, heh, it was so cute. he asked me ab the band and stuff and then said like “oh, she growls really well for a woman” and the proceeds to elaborate in distress that he didnt mean it in a misogynistic women-cant-growl type of way but in a its-genuinely-harder-for-a-woman-to-do-metal-growls. it was quite cute, he tends to do that a lot, like overexplaining things so ppl dont think hes being a dickhead even though he says very normal things TT its so cute and it really shows that he cares.

i mentioned that i was ab to start learning growling w my vocal teacher and how she also said she wants to get the singer of finntroll to come and teach growling to me (WHICH IS SO COOL???). v was like “oh my god, im also ab to practice growling w my vocal teacher” and then when i told him ab the singer of finntroll thing he got so excited and just “what??? for real??? thats so cool???” and proceeds to be like “omg, when ur w him tell him uve got a friend who wants to have a lesson w him too” and c joins in and says the same. i felt so cool in that moment haha

me, c and d went out to go meet the ppl from school who had been touring all week. before we left i went to pee and literally on the toilet i was smiling sm bc i felt so comfy and happy and all that in that moment like, i was talking to him??? and he was talking back???? and he smiled???? he wanted to talk to me????? i did a lil happy jump sesh after i washed my hands. then otw to school, me, c and d were jumping around and running and yelling. them bc they were drunk, me bc i was so excited abt finally feeling comfy w them + obviously getting to talk to v successfully after crushing so hard on him the past week. i was so happy too bc i finally felt like i kind of belong. i felt for the first time true that like “oh my god, they dont hate me!”. so while meeting the ppl at school i was sooooo happy and like greeting everyone and just smiling and feeling so cool and included and aaaaaaa i was so happy i cant even explain it. c and d r the coolest ppl ever!!!

we went back w s + we left d behind for a bit, sorry d!! now this was when i was truly connecting the dots between s and v. partypooper. i did tag along to the bar w all of them afterwards though. i just went by my place to eat something and get my id.

i arrived to the bar and i sat down next to c at first but later moved next to d so i could sit on the couch. me and c went to buy drinks and then d left to go smoke. there was an awkward space between me and v so i tried to subtly move closer to him and later when d came back he just sat in the spot i sat earlier so i sat between him and v.

more ppl arrived and i ended up becoming squished between d and v. NOW THIS. this changed me as a whole human being. i have been terrified of men all my life and w not specific reason bc the thing is that its not rooted in like, being scared that theyll do something, i just genuinely get more tense around men than women. this moment was so, special to me and not just bc i was squished next to v and our arms and legs were in constant touch but like, i got this kind of realization that, maybe i dont need to be nervous. like, theres nothing to worry ab. i trust d and v. theyre really nice. d i was already comfy w since wednesday and v i just that evening got comfy w. although i am touch deprived i really just,,, felt so happy, safe and relaxed in a group if people, in the middle of two men. i didnt feel the need to fidget out of nervousness and stuff. i was just, calm.

v looks over at me and asks me how drunk im planning to get. he himself says he wants to be so drunk he throws up. i jokingly reply saying i dont want to throw up. he starts showing me a scale w his hands, going down from ten and giving each level its own name so like “this is throw up drunk, this is like this and this is that...” and i end up saying i wanna get slighty above drunk and hes just like “so like a six?” and i nod. he says something along the lines of “thats cool, thats solid”.

later a girl sits next to d and begins talking w her. he starts whispering w v over my lap and i just sit there laughing awkwardly, hoping someone would notice and laugh w me as well. they dont talk for too long but they do this again later and talk for like two minutes straight over my lap and i just use this time to admire vs back and his ear piercings. d apologises and i chuckle and tell him its fine and that i didnt mind (i really did not bc i am truly so touch-starved). d later tells me ab this girl and bc of the music he has to really be close to my ear and talk w me. we talk like that for a while and he says hes glad i understand his situation. long story short, this girl had apparently been trying to flirt w him even though he has a girlfriend. i think he handled the situation really well.

v once again looks over at me, this time as were both kind of resting against the booth, bodies facing each other. he just asked how i was feeling today but it felt so intimate and i was savoring the conversation and eye contact as much as i could. i told him that i was really craving social interaction today so i was really glad i could tag along w them. he acted a bit funnily so i asked him how drunk he was. he said he feels a bit sick. idk why but that convo was so :’) i am TREASURING it.

him and s decided to leave, making almost everyone else leave. i stayed for a bit w a and c and some other unknown ppl but decided to leave after a bit. while me, a and c went out when they went to smoke i saw a bunch of ppl from both elementary and middle school. d, l, n and t. i was kind of hoping one of them wouldve noticed me earlier while i was w v and all the others so they could be like “omg shes sitting next to two guys, i wonder if shes dating anyone of them” or like “omg she has such cool friends now”.

okay, thats all on friday. saturday however, i met up w l for a bit, i tell them ab my crush on v. i sit them down, hold their hands and keep eye contact.

“so on wednesday we had a conversation on tiktok and i talked ab how boy obsessed i am feeling these days, right?”

they continue looking at me, asking me if this is ab e. i dont tell them yet.

“so after i said that, u said ‘well as long as its not d or v bc ik theyre the only friends we have but i assure u there r better alternatives’”

they begin staring at me in shock and yell:

“l! not them, omg! which one is it- no, wait. let me guess... d?”

i look at them for a bit before replying: “its not d.”

“ITS V? L, NO U CANT!” and they kick me as im laughing so hard im falling of the bed.

“IT IS! i have a fucking crush on v!”

we talk ab this for a while and i tell them ab friday and all that and it was sm fun lol

after me and l ahd hung out i went out to a proper party held at school. like dancing-beer-pong-bar kind of party. i met d and some others outside of the enterance and say hi. i then go inside and immediately meet c and c. they bring me to the dance floor and shows me where all the drinks r and everything. i see v playing beer pong. i dont like dancing at all so i join for a bit but leave soon enough. i sit and talk w a for a while. when v sat down on the same couch i was in i told a who was sitting on the other side that she could sit down on the couch properly instead of just sitting on the armrest and so she did and my evil plan worked, i got to move even closer to v. after a while it was finally our turn to play beer pong, we played w just water though. it was my first time playing and i was in the same team as a. she was so good? we played again v and two others. it was so humilating to play against v but my team won thanks to a. she was really awesome. during our last cup, v tried distracting me by hovering his hands over the cup but it literallyt made me aim better bc i could look at his hands TT he only distracted me w his hands and never a.

i left after s arrived to the party bc i got so sad seeing her w v lol but i was overwhelmed by the party anyways lol

sotw: bring me the horizon - alligator blood

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo

[okeylokiyuh]

no😭 its must be so hard for you ): ugh the same feeling when the google docs accidentally deleted ur assignment. its the worst feeling ever >:(( but you know what they said every cloud has a silver lining!! don't be too discourage loki, i hope you get back in ur track asap!!

the thing about my password was when i want to log in to my tumblr account my mind went blank like the password isnt there at all😭 and i panicked so i try all the password that the old me might have use but there's no use😹 so i just let it be and totally forget abt it (until recently i recover my password and yeah here we are)

i am doing well! i just finished my second sem of my pre u!! ahh one last sem before i graduated and i have a thought to work before i continue my degree. but my sleeping schedule messed up a little bit since i need to study for my finals and i hang out with my friends until 4am💀

ah, blonde jaehyuk rlly suits him🤩🤩 the pic you sent jdjskdjdj sir i am respectfully looking👁 ah also!! treasure second mini album on oct22!!!!! kdjdjdj my boys are ready to slay😆 cant wait for their new songs tbh

hehe for me jay is my bias rn! boy really made me simping so hard🤥 and recently i just started to watch daredevil on netflix bcs u knoww matt murdock will return in she-hulk and having his sequel on mcu! ahhh im so excited and as a marvel fans i rlly cant wait for phase 5 of mcu!

oof, sorry for the late reply, uni has been hectic lately! hehe, rather than being discouraged i'm just not as motivated, and ig it's bc of the workload i've been getting. plus, the distance between my home and the uni is terrible and public transport is my worst enemy. so those added factors just make it difficult for me to carry out my work as usual.

i totally feel you! i lost my password for an acc recently and tried everything i could, but somehow thanks to the 'forgot password' option, i was able to recover it. i hope you don't forget it again, jaecha hehe

aah! that's wonderful, jaecha! wishing you all the best for your last semester as well! you are gonna do well, i'm sure! oof, i totally relate to the messed up sleep schedule, but for different reasons sksks. i'm glad you are having fun, though! college is supposed be a place to figure yourself out and have fun doing it and i hope you are having such an experience!

yess!!! another treasure comeback! i'm having exams then, so i might have to postpone watching the comeback and the streaming, but i can't wait for our boys to make their comeback with great music as always :D

ooh, is daredevil good? i haven't come around to watching any mcu tv shows other than hawkeye, loki and runaways i think. yesss, phase 5 looks too good, i can't wait to see how it goes! i'm most excited to see the marvels!

but rn, i'm kinda teetering off kpop and into the world of top gun maverick. i watched the movie at home recently and i'm totally hooked on it! i really wanna watch it on the big screen too, but the screenings are at 6pm and 10pm and i'll be damned if my parents ever let me leave the house after evening hours.

#[💌] all my favorite conversations #jaecha 🥺

[sunookkii]

Soooo👀can I get enhypen reaction to their best friend/crush cuddling them for the first time while they're hanging out together?

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚

a/n : tysm for requestingggg baee <333 I hope you like it!

Enhypen reacting to their bestfriend/crush cuddling them >~< [drabble]

Enhypen ot7 x Reader

Genre : fluff

Warnings : flustered enha

Requested : yees

Heeseung

You two were just hanging out like usual since you guys are really close friends and known eachother for a long long time~ Heeseung had the BIGGEST crush on you every since you two met, but he never had the guts to confess to you so he just kept you as a friend because he didn’t want to ruin the relationship you two already have <3 one day at a hangout together, it became really late outside so you asked him if he wanted to sleep over [u too had a crush on hee 😏], he obviously checked if you were okay with it before accepting~ you guys were just getting ready for bed and he became flustered because you slept so easily comfortably next to him accidentally wrapping your arms around his chest cuddling him. His face is all red, he’s all stiff and can’t take the risk to move, or push you off. He could feel you breathing on him since your head was on his chest.. He adapted to this quickly even though this was all new to him. You two hugged a lot before but this time it was just.. different, it meant more to him since you guys are literally SLEEPING together so this is very much still new to him~ it makes him so happy, that you feel this comfortable around him. He won’t be able to stop smiling to himself from you hugging him to sleep, tbh he might not even be able to sleep because you’re running around his mind all night it makes him crush on you even more because of how cute you look sleeping and cuddling him.

Jay

You two have been very good friends for a long time to the point you guys can talk about anything and everything, he slowly developed feelings for you but I feel like when it comes to cuddling and hugging it’s a bit awkward.. one day you guys were just sitting down together side by side really close together [on the floor specifically] and you seemed to have a really bad day and your best friends was there with you so you just wanted to hug him for comfort. You go in for a hug which ends up as a cuddle and he’s really surprised that his crush/best friend just cuddled him??!! Would definitely return the hug, at first it was a bit awkward but couple of seconds later he rests his head on yours and he hugs you tighter with a smile painted on his face. Let’s just say you guys aren’t awkward anymore when hugging and he loves that he could hug you whenever he wants~ definitely becomes red every single time he gets to hug you, pretends to be cool and chill when cuddling you but in the inside he’s defiantly a mess. A cute mess ㅠㅠ

Jake

Jake is the type of best friend that would give you so many hugs and cuddles because he loves you that much, so hugs and cuddles with him isn’t so new. But since you are his crush specifically it’s a bit different with you. He loves hugging you and never misses his chance to do so. Today you guys had a hangout at your place and you two were just lying on your bed [your head was placed on his chest like a pillow] scrolling through your phones on a social media app showing each other funny posts you saw. You quickly got bored and just turned around facing him making your head at home on his chest and wrapped your arms around him. Leading him to be cuddled STOP I CANT DO THIS RN He became flustered and tbh he’s clueless and doesn’t know what to do. You guys hug all the time but how come he’s so awkward all of a sudden? He makes sure not to look you in your eye because if he does he’s going to become a smiling red mess. He’s already blushing and smiling but if he looks at your pretty eyes for one second he might or might not actually go crazy,,, probably giggling a lot leading you to think he’s crazy. This man fell for you and he fell for you BAD.. will definitely ask for more cuddles and dreams about the day where you two start dating, #hopelessromantic

Sunghoon

Kinda cliché but you guys were at the skating rink 😁 but you know because sunghoon is an ice prince he has to practice many times in a week and he barely gets to see you so instead you guys made an arrangement that after school you would go to the skating rink with him whether it would be watching him skate or learning how to skate with him~ today you were skating with him.. you fell down a lot but this time when you fell down he automatically caught you because obviously he doesn’t want you to fall so might as well try and catch you duh. #sucess. He caught you and you were now in you arms in a hugging position, it was a bit awkward at first since he had a crush on you, but to his luck you had a crush on him too [but he doesn’t know] you guys finished ice skating and hung out on the bleachers and you rested your head on his shoulders unintentionally but intentionally y’know? He flinches a bit and his eyes go WIDE! Doesn’t really know what to do, pats your head? Hug you back?? Literally clueless boy T_T then you tell him “thank you for catching me hoon” STOP HE’S LITERALLY FREAKING OUT IN THE INSIDE WITH JOY CUTIEEE (sry this wasn’t really a cuddle session but I thought it was cute ㅠㅠ)

Sunoo

It was a sleepover as always, this cutie loves sleeping over at your house since you can’t sleep over at his. Today you guys were doing face masks as a daily night care routine. You two took lots and lots of selcas together and laughed over the funny pics dying of laughter. Minutes past by and it was time to take off the mask he helped you take off yours and you helped take of his, your height difference was cute since you had to get on your tippy toes to actually reach his face :( cute. That’s all he thought... ‘cute’. Tbh I feel like he’s the type to say it out loud then you’d tease him, “ur in love with me just say it” he’d become SUPER SUPER flustered idek know how to describe it. You two finished taking off the face masks and doing your skin care routine. Since sunoo always lent you his expensive fancy skin care things you never really properly thanked him so you decided to give him a cuddling session right after washing your face, bringing your head in his chest. At first he’d be nervous but then he’d definitely return the hug and pat your head and give you a biggest smile. He loves you so much and might even say it. Thinks your the most adorable person in the world and definitely would want you to know that. Probably squishes your cheeks too and out of all the members I feel like he’d act like you two are actually already dating ㅠㅠ would definitely ask for more cuddles after this and it’ll become a daily thing~

Jungwon

After a long day, you and Jungwon walked together side by side late at night to the convenience store to get some ramen because you guys haven’t eaten for hours and you were starving. Eating with you was always nice and comforting Jungwon thought, just being with you overall was always a good time. Staring at you when you weren’t looking.. when you two finished eating you went to his house for a bit just to ‘hang out’, to him he always thought of you as more than friends, so I guess you could say that he thought of you as a crush [you on the other hand also has a crush on him ;)] lying down on his comfy bed you pull him over to cuddle him, at first he was freaking our and asked you what you were doing, and you said “hugging u” as if it was ntg💀 of course he’d let you continue hugging him, but now this is going to make him go crazy. hes never going to stop thinking about this moment and he’s never going to stop talking about this moment with his members- I think you might’ve broke him idk...

Niki

You guys were dancing for hours on end, you loved dancing with him and he definitely loved dancing with you. You two always had a crush on eachother but none of you guys confessed [but that’s for next time ;)] after you guys just finished dancing to the new groups song called Enhypen‘s drunk-dazed you two were literally sweating buckets,, you guys nearly fainted on how hard and intense the song was. You two dropped to the floor lying on your backs till suddenly you decide to hug riki ~ “uhm uhm y/n what r u doing?” I feel like that’s what he would say since all this is so new to him and his crush is literally on his chest cuddling him???!!! “Am I dreaming” he thinks to himself. I feel like his face would start burning not only bc of the intense dance you two just finished but bc his literal best friend/crush is on his fricking chest, please this cutie can’t contain his excitement~ you’d probably look at him and be likeRiki are you okay ur face is burning”, “N-NO IT WAS THE DANCE!” you’d literally check his temperature right here right now which leads to you two staring at eachother while cuddling????? OMGG #newffidea 🤩 but yeah he’d be like a tomato a giggly tomato 🍅 <3 ^^someone please write a niki oneshot like this

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jake #heeseung #jake sim #lee heeseung #jungwon #sunoo imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen requests #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #enhypen x y/n #heeseung scenarios #jay scenarios #jake scenarios #sunghoon scenarios #sunoo scenarios #jungwon scenarios #niki scenarios #heeseung imagines #jay imagines #jake imagines #sunghoon imagines #jungwon imagines #niki imagines

[benhardyisdaddy]

Unexpected

MASTERLIST 

(hope whoever requested this likes it <3 also ben looks soft and cute in this pic, i cant rn) 

Word Count: 4,326

WARNING: underage drinking, unwanted pregnancy angst

One week before Summer vacation’s over and you’re officially a senior. Eighteen looked good on you and you were so determined to do amazing in school - like always - and earn your way into an Ivy League. It was a huge dream of yours and you wouldn’t let anything get in that way. 

“What do you mean you’re not going to Will’s party tonight? You promised!” 

You were laying on your bed with your phone to your ear. Your best friend Ben is on the other line with a pathetically sad voice. 

“Will’s thrown an end of summer part since we were in second grade! We always go together! You can’t bail on me now!” 

You just sigh as you roll over onto your belly and close your eyes. 

“Ben, it’s just that I want a clear head before we go back. This is the year of y/n, okay? I don’t want anything to ruin this.” 

“So a silly party might ruin your reputation and acceptance into college?” he asks with a dramatic voice. 

You roll your eyes again. 

“This is serious to me, Ben! I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at.” 

“Don’t have to rub it in.” he says softly, causing your heart to break a bit. 

Ben still hasn’t gotten any acceptance letters to colleges he had applied for this Summer and it was bumming him out badly. You could tell. 

“What time do you want to leave?” you ask with a slight smile as you change the topic. 

You can hear Ben slightly gasp and can practically hear the smile on his face. 

“Is that you saying that you’ll go!?” he asks loudly. 

“Yes. I’ll go with you to Will's silly party! Pick me up around eight?”

Ben looks at the clock and realizes that’s only thirty minutes from now. He smiles and nods, even though you can’t see it. 

“Eight it is.” 

***

The idea didn’t seem so bad to you after you got yourself all ready. It was your senior year after all. This would be your last end of Summer party with your friends. You wanted to get dolled up and look nice for the occasion… Or possibly look nice for Aaron - your crush. You know he’ll be there so you mentally thank Ben for making you say yes. 

You’re waiting downstairs in your living when there’s a honk just outside. You know it’s Ben. You say goodbye to your parents as you rush off. Ben’s in the driver's seat with a big goofy grin on his face. You hurry to the car and slide in. 

“You look fancy.” he says in a purr like voice. 

You roll your eyes and lightly blush. 

“For Aaaaaron?” he asks, drawing out his name. 

You reach over and shove his arm playfully, causing him to laugh out loud. 

“What’s wrong with just wanting to look nice, huh!?” 

You both talk about anything and everything as you drive to the party. It’s located out by the docks on the lake like every year. That meant swimming, bonfires and god knows what else. You both finally arrive as he parks the car. You jump out and look around at the swarm of kids that were here. Your knew everyone that was here, but it felt odd seeing them after a year of being absent for Summer. It was nice to see familiar faces. You scan around and spot Aaron and your heart jumps. He’s near a table with all kinds of drinks on them - including alcohol. It was a party after all. 

“Want a drink?” asks Ben as if he’s read your mind.

“Please!” 

He nods and walks away towards the table. You slowly follow behind him with your eyes on Aaron. He’s smiling and laughing with one of his friends as you stare at him with actual heart eyes. You’re closer to the table when Aaron looks over and spots you. He smiles big and waves. It catches you off guard as you stand up straight and awkwardly wave back. He definitely caught you staring. Your face burned as you walk up more. 

“How was your Summer break?” asks Aaron as he walks up and brings you in for a hug. 

You’re frozen as he leans away with that sweet smile still plastered on his face. 

“Oh,” you say fast, realizing you need to speak. “It was awesome! Thanks. How, uh, how was yours?” 

Aaron shrugs and continues smiling as Ben turns from the table and stops as he watches you two. He knows about your feelings towards Aaron and doesn’t want to ruin the moment for you. Ben sips on his drink as he just stands back and observes. 

“Wasn’t too bad actually.” says Aaron. “Missed my science buddy though.” he teases as he talks about you. 

You giggle and move a piece of hair behind your hair - your way too obvious way of flirting. 

“Well, maybe we’ll have that class again this yea-” 

Before you can finish, Clara, the popular girl in school, walks up and wraps her arms around Aaron’s waist all while leaning up and kissing him. Your smile falls fast as you watch their intimate moment. You look away and feel your heart break. Ben watches you as he lowers the cup, his heart breaking for you as well. You’re looking around awkwardly as you rub your arm. Aaron and Clara look to you as her face falls. 

“Can we help you?” she asks rudely. 

Aaron speaks up in defense. 

“No, babe, I was talking to y/n about how I missed my science buddy. She use to let me copy her stuff all the time.” he laughs out. 

Oh, you think to yourself. That’s why you missed me. 

“Hey, y/n!” calls out Ben to rescue you. 

He walks up and you watch as Clara eyes him up and down, a smile on her face. He doesn’t pay her any attention as he’s only focused on you. 

“Here’s your drink. Let’s go by the fire.” he says quickly before grabbing your hand and leading you away. 

You follow him without a fight. You were thankful for the save. The two of you walk until you spot a giant log sitting by the huge campfire. You sit down and down your drink in an instant. Ben gets back up and steals a bottle of liquor for you two to share. You’re staring at the fire as your head starts buzzing. 

“Thank you.” you say quietly. 

Ben knows what you’re referring to. He reaches over and wraps an arm around your shoulder as he pulls you close to him. He kisses your head and rests his on it for a moment. 

“Anytime.” he says back, causing you to smile. 

You lean away to drink some more. You’re staring over at Aaron and watching as him and Clara hang all over each other. They look so happy and it made you sick. 

“Why would he want her?” you ask. “She’s the rudest human I’ve ever met.” 

“Agreed.” says Ben with a mouth full of booze. 

You just shake your head and down another drink. It was starting to mess with your head and you were actually kind of happy. You needed to let loose for a bit. Let go of all of your stress before the actual stress even begins. 

“Wanna dance?” asks Ben randomly as he watches a big group of kids dancing like crazy on a gravely patch to the right of you. 

You watch them for a moment before smiling and standing up. You wobble for a moment, but catch yourself. 

“After you,” you say to him. 

The two of you hurry up and begin dancing like crazy. Ben’s holding your hand and twirls you around as you laugh. He does some silly dance moves that make you cry from laughter. When the song’s over, you both return back to your seat. But as you sit down, you both miss the log at the same time and land on your butts. You’re drunk as you both lean against one another and laugh hard. You continue to sit on the ground as you sip on your drink some more. 

“I’m really drunk.” you confess to Ben. 

He laughs and nods. 

“Me too.” 

You look back over to Aaron and frown. 

“She’s so lucky.” you say. “I bet he’s so good in bed.” 

Ben chokes on his drink as he coughs, making you look at him fast. 

“What!?” you ask.

“Innocent y/n talking about a guy in bed. I’m surprised.” 

You roll your eyes at him. 

“I’m not as innocent as you think, Ben.” 

He raises a brow to you. 

“Oh really? Do you even know what a sex is?” 

“A sex!?” you ask as you laugh hard. 

“Yes! A sex!” he laughs out. 

“For your information,” you slur. “There’s a lot that you don’t know about me. Especially me with sex.” 

Ben’s actually shocked by that. His face falls and his mouth closes. 

“You’ve…?” he asks. 

You nod proudly. 

“Of course I have. Have you…?” 

“Yeah, of course.” he laughs. “Just a bit shocked by yours.” 

You look back to Aaron and frown once more. 

“I just bet he’s so good.” 

“Jesus, y/n. There’s other men out there that are decent at sex ya know. I bet he’s shit.” 

“Oh really?” you ask. “Are you good in bed, Benjamin?” 

“Actually,” he says smugly. “I’m quite freaking fantastic.” 

You’re taken aback by his bluntness. 

“Oh…” is all you can say. 

“That’s what you need though,” he says taking a swig. “A good shag. You’ve probably been deprived all Summer.” 

Honestly, he was right. You’ve been so focused on school and your studies this Summer that you failed to do anything remotely fun. 

“But, you know, I didn’t have any all Summer either. So, ya know, it’s just an idea… Maybe,” 

You lean away and raise a brow at him with a somewhat twisted face.

“Ben, are you trying to say what I think you’re saying?” you ask a bit loud. 

He just looks around and then back at you.

“...Maybe…” 

***

Ben slowly moved his car down the dirt road that it was parked on. The car was far away from anybody as you straddled his lap in the back seat. Your lips were pressed together in a hot and messy kiss. His hands roamed your body as you grind into him. 

“Just to be clear,” you say pulling away. “I don’t like you like this, okay?” 

“Ditto.” he says fast, trying to go back to kissing you. 

“We’re just doing this because we’re super drunk and turned on. And because I have angry sexual frustrations over Aaron that I need to release. Got it?”

“Got it, but if you say his name again, I’m gonna have to leave.” 

You both laugh as you shake your head and resume your kissing. The car windows were fogged up and you were so happy that no one was able to look inside and see what the two of you were doing. 

***

2 Weeks Later 

School had started back up and you were thrilled about how well you were already doing. You and Ben had practically every class together, besides first hour. Last year, you had none, so you were happy. It was time for lunch as you both made your way to the cafeteria. Surprisingly, you weren’t hungry. You opted for a drink instead and sat next to Ben as you both talked about anything and everything, but today Ben decided to bring up another topic. 

“We never really spoke about what happened that night…” he lingers. 

Your eyes go wide as you look around fast, hoping no one could hear you. 

“Ben!” you scold. “What is there to talk about? We were drunk and just bored.” 

“I know, but I didn’t want this to be weird or anything.” 

“Nothing’s weird.” you smile. “You’re still my best friend and that’s all.” 

That relieved Ben as you both enjoy your lunch break with laughter about what had happened that day so far. 

***

2 Weeks Later 

You had woken up that Tuesday morning with horrible nausea. You weren’t running a fever, but you felt like you had the flu. You were constantly in the bathroom as you released everything you ate the day before. You felt horrible. Your mom decided that you needed to go get checked out at the hospital and she’d go with you. 

It felt like forever in the waiting room before your name was called. You were taken back to a room where you had to get dressed in a hospital gown. After checking you and drawing blood, your doctor was there. 

“Heard we’re not feeling good today.” she says sweetly as she checks your chart. 

“Yeah, I’ve had the worst nausea ever. It just keeps hitting out of the blue.” 

She’s quiet as she studies the paper and then speaks. 

“Tell me, y/n, when was your last period?” 

You sit there and think for a moment before your heart jumps. 

“I, uh,” you look to your mom as she watches you closely, a confused look on her face when you linger. “I guess I’m sort of late for it.” you say quietly. 

Your mother swallows hard and leans back in her chair. The doctor looks to you and then to her. 

“Mrs. y/l/n, do you mind if I speak to y/n alone real quick. She’s considered an adult now and I just need to ask her a few more questions by herself.” she says with a smile. 

Your mom nods and looks to you with a half sad smile. She reaches over and grabs your hand for a moment before standing up and exiting the room. Once she’s gone, the doctor turns to face you. 

“Alright, mom’s gone so now I can ask you some questions. Are you sexually active?” she asks. 

You shake your head no fast but then stop. You remember Ben instantly and your stomach twisted. 

“No… Well, once, but…” you trail off. 

The doctor just watches you as she nods and stands up.

“We’re gonna take another sample of blood real fast and I’ll go tell mom that she can come back in.” 

All you can do is nod as she leaves the room. What was happening!? They can’t actually think that you might be pregnant… Right? Your mother comes back in and says nothing as she sits down and stares at the floor. A nurse walks in and hurries to draw some more of your blood. You’re told that it’ll take a bit for them to get the results… And they did. 

And you were pregnant. 

***

You’re sat in the passenger side as your mother drives back home. You’ve just been told you were going to have a baby and it felt like a bad dream. You stared out the window until she finally speaks up. 

“I tell you the same thing over and over, y/n, always wear protection! I was your age once, I know what it’s like to have urges. I don’t care what you do, I just needed you to do that one thing and you didn’t.” 

Tears well up in your eyes as you look over and watch her speak. She doesn’t look angry, she doesn’t even sound angry. Just disappointed, which was somehow worse. 

“I was seventeen when I had you,” she says finally looking over at you. “Was I too young? Yes. Do I regret it at all? Absolutely not. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, it’s just… It’s just that I didn’t want you to miss out on things like I did.” 

“I don’t have to.” you barely whisper.

Your mother looks over and she understands what you’re referring to. She looks back to the road and nods. 

“I think that’s something you should probably talk to the father about. Speaking of the father… Do I even want to know who it is, because when you’re father finds out…” she lingers off as she sighs about the moment you have to tell your father. 

You take in a deep breath and look down at your hands. 

“Ben.” you barely whisper. 

Your mom’s head flies to look at you, her eyes wide. 

“I’m sorry, who?” she asks. 

“Ben…” you say once more. 

“Ben?! Your best friend Ben!? The same Ben that you use to take bubble baths with when you were two!?” 

All you can do is nod. Your mother looks back to the road and just shrugs. 

“In an odd way I’m actually a bit relieved that it wasn’t that Anthony kid from your school.” 

“Aaron, mom.” you correct her. 

She rolls her eyes at his name. 

“His name can be whatever - doesn’t make him less of an idiot.” 

That comment makes both of you laugh and some stress falls off your shoulders. But she’s right… You need to tell Ben. 

***

“Ya know, being asked to meet in the park after dinner really makes me think you’re going to murder me.” teases Ben as he jogs up to you. 

You’re sat on a swing as you gently go back and forth. You didn’t laugh at his dumb joke which made him a bit worried. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks as he sits on the swing beside you. 

You can’t look him in the eyes as you stare down at your feet. 

“I went to the hospital today.” you say quietly. 

“Shit, are you okay!?” he asks worried.

 “I’m… I’m fine.” you tell him. “I just found out something that I need to tell you and I don’t want you to get angry at me for it. Okay?”

You finally look to him and your eyes are watery. He was beyond worried. 

“Okay.” he whispers. 

You take in a deep breath and close your eyes. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

You open them to watch as Ben’s face goes pale. He’s staring at you as you wave your hand in front of his face. 

“Ben?” you ask, causing him to come back to reality. 

“Is it mine?” he asks fast. 

You’re offended by that questions as your face twists up and you stand fast. 

“Yeah, Ben, because I sleep with so many people!” you shout as you begin walking away fast. 

He jumps up from the swing and yells out to you before gently grabbing your arm to stop you. 

“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it. I’m sorry! I’m just… I’m just trying to process all of this, okay? I wasn’t expecting that. At all. I don’t even know what to say.” 

You realize that he was still in shock as you look down and nod your head. You wrap your arms around yourself as he watches you. 

“I - we - can’t raise a baby right now. I have college to look forward to. I wanted to talk to you about adoption and-” 

“Adoption?” he asks confused. 

“Yeah? I can’t give up my dreams because of one dumb mistake we made, Ben.” 

Ben sarcastically laughs as he takes a step backwards. 

“Your dreams? You see, yn, that’s so typical of you to always be thinking of yourself.” 

You’re taken aback by his harsh statement as your eyes narrow. 

“Thinking of myself?! Ben, this is Ivy League we’re talking about! You can go to a community college whenever you want, but mine’s a big deal!” 

You knew that was a mistake to say whenever the words slipped from your mouth. Ben laughs and raises his eyebrows as you close your eyes and sigh. 

“I’m sorry, Ben. That’s not what I meant, okay? I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine. I’m gonna go and not get in your way of whatever it is you want. As long as you reach the top, right? Because my opinion on this doesn’t matter.” 

He turns around and begins walking away as you shout out for him to stop, but he doesn’t. That didn’t go as you planned. 

***

3 Months Pregnant 

“Ben, I have my first ultrasound appointment today and I really want you to be there. I know we’ve been distant lately, but I could really use you there by my side. Please?” 

You hang up the phone as your mom walks into the living room with your coat. 

“Didn’t answer?” she asks sadly. 

You just shake your head as you wipe away a tear and stand up to leave. You were nervous for your appointment. The drive wasn’t long until you get there. You’re taken back to a room and lay down on a bed. You lift your shirt up and expose your slightly swollen belly. Your mom smiles at the sight as you look around at all of the odd machinery in the room. There’s a knock at the door and in walks your doctor. 

“Ready to see your baby?” she asks sweetly as she sits down on a small chair in front of a screen. 

As she’s rubbing a weird green jelly on your stomach, there’s a loud knock at the door. You all look to it as it opens up and in walks Ben. He looks out of breath as he just awkwardly smiles and looks to you. You’re shocked to see him as you grin and sit up slightly. 

“You came.” you whisper. 

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” he replies. 

He walks over and greets your mom with a hug as he places a chair near you and sits. The two of you sadly smile at one another and by the look in his eyes, he’s telling you that he’s sorry. You hold out your hand for him to take, symbolizing that you were too. He takes it as the two of you watch the tiny screen light up.

“There it is.” says the nurse showing you the tiny face. 

Your heart swells as you quietly cry to yourself. You look over and watch as Ben’s eyes are blood red and he’s crying too, along with your mom. 

“It’s so tiny.” you whisper, looking back to the screen. 

“I can’t believe that’s our baby.” whispers Ben, a sweet smile on his face. 

The way he was looking at it made something in your head start turning. It made your heart swell up and something felt different. 

***

6 Months Pregnant 

“Is it odd to have a baby shower when we’re giving her up for adoption?” asks Ben a bit sad as he places pink plates on a table. 

Your mom looks over to you and gives you a knowing smile as you look back to Ben. 

“Ben,” you start as he looks over to you. “I’ve been thinking about things a lot lately. College will always be there for me when I’m ready to go, but this,” you say as you place your hands on your bump. “This whole parent thing seems much more rewarding than that, so…” you linger, causing Ben to understand what you’re trying to say. 

He steps towards you fast with his eyes wide and a serious look on his face. 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying!?” he asks fast. 

All you can do is bite your lip and nod. Ben’s face broke into a huge grin as he reaches forward and hugs you. 

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” he whispers against you. 

You wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. 

“Me too.” you whisper back.

***

9 Months Pregnant

“Breathe, it’s okay. You’re doing so great. Just breathe.” 

You’re in a hospital bed as contractions hit you hard. Your water had broken while Ben was moving some of his stuff into your room for the arrival of the baby. It was a week early and you weren’t expecting it. Ben and your mom were in the room with you as he held your hand and allowed you to squeeze it as hard as you want. 

“You’re doing so good.” he whispers as he rubs your back with his free hand. 

“I don’t want her to think she was a mistake!” you yell out randomly, causing your mom and Ben to look at each other confused. 

“Why would she think that?” he asks. 

“Because her parents aren’t even in love! We’re two best friends having a baby and I don’t want her to hate us for that! I don’t want it to feel like a broken home!” 

Ben laughs softly as he feels bad for you thinking that. 

“Hey, no! It’s not like we’ve gotten a divorce or broke up. There’s not going to be any split holidays or separate birthday parties, okay? She’s being born into a family that loves her more than she’ll ever know. Understand? Yeah, we’re not the typical ‘fall in love and have a baby’ scenario, but we do love each other and she’ll always see that.” 

You’re looking up to Ben as you cry hard at what he’s saying. You nod your head and feel a million times better already. 

“Thank you for that.” you whisper just before another contraction hits. 

Your rooms door opens up and in walks the doctor as she puts on some gloves. 

“Alright, who’s ready to have a baby?” 

***

1 Hour Later 

You’re laying in the bed with Ben at your side. Your mom had ran out to grab some food as you both admire your beautiful baby girl. 

“She has your eyes.” you tell him. 

“Well she has your lips.” he says with a smile. 

“I can’t believe we created something this beautiful.” you whisper as she begins squirming around and makes the sweetest little noise. 

You both scrunch your faces and ‘awww’ at it. You look over to Ben and smile. 

“I’m glad she’s ours.” you admit. “This is a way better feeling than receiving an acceptance letter.” 

Ben laughs softly as he kisses your head. 

“I can agree with you on that.” 

Tag List: @sonic-volcano​  @bella28​ @queengavemeasheerheartattack​ @sj-thefan​

Perm Tag List: @loudxxstar @iambuckyrogers @babebenhardy @ramimalekrp-roleplayerpage @mautand @rogertayolr @mothermercuryy @basics-andthesimplelife @caterinaborgia @discodeakyjazzyjoe @sheridans-dynamos @bethany-cc @onexlittlespark @idontbelievethiss @having-a-freddie-time @denimmay @bensrhapsody @manuosorioh @writing-in-hell @cupcakehardy @toms-irish-girl @a-kind-of-magik @thesecondlastjedi @dianamarie-has-a-blog @ezmina98 @finnbalortrash21 @frostedsugarcookiemint @yourealegendroger @popcrone818 @wronglanemendes @sj-thefan @borhapqueen92 @httpfandxms @haileylansley @arrozsocarrat @quirkydeaky @vanitysfairr @rogmeddows @loveandbeloved29 @vousmemanqueez @hearts-to-the-sky @shewantsthe-youngamerican @sherlollydramoine @culturefiendtrashqueen @mamiigg @drowseoftaylor @hissom1933 @roger-bang-the-drum @rromanovv @benders-diamond-earring @its-a-kind-of-magic-20 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @psychosupernatural @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @shelby1baby

#benhardyxreader #ben hardy #benhardy #benhardyisdaddy #dad!benhardy #benhardyxy/n #unexpected #pregnancy #pregnant!y/n #mom!y/n #angst #29 #fic #borhap

[agustd-png]

Jae [8:35am]

"Shit--" you gasped, hiding your phone's screen in your lap quickly, only to clap your hand over your mouth as soon as the curse left your lips. Your heart pounded as a few people near you in the lecture hall turned to looked at you, but you nervously coughed then pretended to be paying attention to the lecture until they turned back around.

One thing you did not expect to see during your 8 am communication lecture was a text from your boyfriend with particularly hard image attachment.

Jae: heres my morning, hows urs? ;)

Jae: 00364813.jpg

Even though you were in class, you sat in the last row and curiosity got the best of you. You carefully hid your phone and turned down the brightness to open the attachment once again, more prepared to view its contents this time.

There he was, laid in bed, his hand wrapped around his hard dick that poked out of his pajama pants. Morning wood. He'd slept over the night before and you had left him sleeping in your bed so you could get to your early lecture.

Me: Wtf why are you doing this to me?? I'm in class rn

You typed your response hastily, feeling the blush rising in your cheeks at how badly you wanted to look at the picture he'd sent again. You placed your phone in your lap and tried to concentrate on the lecture, but knew it was frugal.

"These theories are all theories you will have to know for the exam." Your professor pulled up a list of communication theories you'd discussed throughout the semester, and your eyes scanned the list. Don't know that one, know that one, don't know that one, kinda know that one. "You'll have to be able to define each one and come up with an example as well."

*buzz buzz*

You pulled your lower lip between your teeth and tried to ignore his message, but then two more followed. Hiding your screen again, you unlocked your phone to see what he'd sent this time.

Jae: uh thats exactly why i texted u

Jae: i miss u :(

Jae: just leave class

You sighed heavily. At this rate, you might as well; if he kept this up, you wouldn't learn anything from this lecture anyway. But you had this exam coming up and should be in class when you could.

Me: It's Comm. You know I have an exam soon.

Me: Take care of yourself, you're a big boy now lmao

You turned your phone to silent and placed it face down on your textbook, determined to pay attention. You were quite proud of yourself for that. But after a few minutes, you realized even on silent, you couldn't think about anything else, and three minutes felt like an hour. So you turned your phone over and unlocked the screen. Two new messages.

Jae: pshh comm? u know comm already

Jae: i want u tho ://

As you read those, another message popped up at the bottom of the screen.

Jae: 00364814.jpg [downloading...]

You snatched your phone off your desk before the image loaded, leaning back in your chair, trying to appear nonchalant. Although to be honest, very few people around you probably cared what was on your phone, especially at this time in the morning.

The image loaded, and your voice squeaked a bit when you saw it. Hard as a rock, thumbing his slit, his lip caught in his teeth with a small smirk. Figures. Shit.

Me: wiLL YOU STOP SENDING ME DICK PICS IM IN CLASS

The past few minutes you'd been ignoring the growing dampness forming between your legs, but with each message, he was making that more and more difficult.

Jae: oh sorry..do u not like them? i can stop...

Suddenly your heart sank a bit because you knew he was seriously getting discouraged by your words; although he liked to tease you, he'd never purposely do anything that made you uncomfortable.

Me: No baby, I like them too much lmao

You smiled to yourself at his words, happy to have someone who was thinking of your best interests in situations like this.

Jae: oh okay well then come over ;)

You almost burst out laughing at his sudden change back into horny!Jae.

Me: Later

Jae: i cant wait til later :( ur dorms right next to the lecture hall...

Jae: pls?

You sighed impatiently, both at him and at yourself, because you knew you were going to give in to both his and your own desires and leave class early.

Me: Okay

Like right now kind of early. Shoving your textbook and notebook into your backpack, you took one last look at the projection your professor was discussing, and realized it was just basic review for the exam. You could do that on your own anyway. So you slung your bag over your shoulder and ducked out of the lecture hall. Pulling out your phone again, you checked your messages.

Jae: wait really? u dont have to if u need to be in class

Chuckling to yourself at the sweetness in him that was always right below the surface, you replied.

Me: Lol it's okay, Jae. I'd rather be in bed with you anyway :)

As soon as you opened the door to your apartment, you called out Jae's name to let him know you'd arrived. You made a beeline for your bed, and found exactly what you expected to find: Jae still half under your covers in the clothes he'd slept over in, his phone in one hand and his other hand lazily running over the bulge in his boxers.

"Jaaae..." you cooed, kicking off your shoes.

"Hey," was all he replied, but he watched intently as you slid onto your bed.

"I think you know better than to tease me like that while I'm in class." You spoke authoritatively and reached for the hemline of his boxers, lithely wrapping your fingers around it before carefully pulling the fabric towards yourself and down his thighs. He watched you with bated breath and swallowed thickly.

"I know...I was--am. Just..so hard. And I wanted you..." His voice trailed off when he sighed at the feeling of your tongue on the tip of his dick. You dragged the very tip of your tongue up his abdomen and chest, using both hands to drag the fabric of his shirt with you as you went, feeling his warm skin and stopping occasionally to place a wet kiss to his body.

"That's okay. This is much better than sitting in class." You shared a smile with him before leaning down to press your lips to his. Your hands intertwined with both of his, pressed against the mattress on either side of his head. You felt Jae hum against you contently, then run his tongue against your lower lip, so you allowed him in eagerly, your own tongue tangling with his.

"You gonna tell me what you want?" You asked sweetly after pulling back.

#jae smut #day6 smut #mine #drabble #jae #park jaehyung #day6 #smut #college au

[doubt-is-the-origin-of-wisdom]

This.... is new. I can't make this body... do what i want. And I know Roan is... away as much as they can be. But i feel *awful*. And I think it is theirs... I can always feel what they are but... not like this... not to this degree...

We.. I? Have been worried sbout everything luna said. And the fact that im sure u okayed that. Idk if u okayed the pics. Roan kept staring at them and now i van see them when I shut my eyes.

But... one of the things... right now.. worryed me the most. Was "*Am* i giving up too soon?" And the car that drove by made a sound like a couple notes from hell and you. So thats gonna be the ultimate decision maker ig. Bc they have always meant thise words when they sang that song to you.

I am looking up the lyrics as i write...

"Cause I'd rot in Hell with you

If you'd just ask me to"

Okay so i think the important bits is that it says "with you". Avoiding and pushing me away as much as u can... isnt with me.

And also... if luna is to be believed you are pretty blissed out most of the time so... idek if the In Hell part applies to u rn.

Also... the "Asked me to" bit. I dont think you rlly have? I know you asked us to leave if you hurt us this much. And i dont think... youve ever really done or said any true thing to try to get us to stay. Not since you decided to start cheating on us.

I... realize now that.. we have asked you to stay. And you swore we would have a life together. Since the cheating started. Then kept cheating.

Fuck, this songs one of the ruined ones isnt it?

I.... even if roan changes their mind about love. I am not letting them get so attached that their sorrow will do *this* to *me*.

Im curled up in bed analyzing songs that remind me someone i care about because i cant sleep of move. That is unacceptable.

I dont even like that I'm putting this on this blog... fuck i need to feed this stupid worthless body.

I am better than this. If i weren't attached the the Emotion Intensifier that is Roan, maybe this wouldnt be happening. Heartbreak is just pain like any other.

I wish it were something i could amputate... and i wish it were just felt in the heart. It is everywhere. When chain was awake their *wings* felt like the were burning from the inside. We dont even have wings.

That ratty dog bolted... immediately actually, so i dont know how they are feeling. Roan might, my connection to everything is.. different.

Oh now there is a useable feeling! I feel insane. Not from what i just said, bc i have been staring at the wall for a While after i wrote the word "different".

I still am trapped in Roan's hell, but i can drink that cup of water, that we did get bc we wanted to sing to you today... whatever that song is with the coyotesand rabbits and whatnot... theyhave been learning it becauseyou liked it and they wanted to sing it for you.... water is better than nothing.

Hello, hip pain. Yes we wont be moving go ahead and go numb.

How am i acting like this right now?.....im

Not posting any other... broken version of me.

Oh, worrying about trixter reading this just now gave me an idea.

(Assuming we will be down a partner) if the others survive and whatever, and roan becomes operational again, we obviously will not keep these blogs, because they are private. They are for us, but our "mate" was allowed to see them. But if they make us leave, roan may decide they shouldn't be accessible to trixter, so we will ...

Use notepad. Was? I felt like i had had a clever idea at the beginning of that. And my idea was "use notepad"

Nyquil and melatonin plus major stress and no sleep will do that... to.. me?

Dont like that very much but, okay.

I have been with this fool since rhey can remember. Through ralph. I have never experienced this. I suppose it is because we hated ralph so chain and the ruffians could do their thing. Loving. Is the most....

Fuck i wanna write a poem but i just saw the q where the t was sposed to go. I think if i tried to write it woukd3bs embarrassingly awful.

Im sure if we ever sleep i will be horrifically embarrassed of *this*.

Hopefully we will either sleep or eat before trixter is able to read this so i can come to my senses and delete it.

#07:22 #3-7-20 #for posterity #until i delete it soon hopefully #what am i doing #how am i gonna manage #them #and #the big one is #they say anger #but #it has always been fear #that is the source #they are so afraid #they said #before #that they will find their queen #again #if it must be in another life #they will still so it #i #do not remember #if i have a queen #odin does #i cant think #fox #is just a fox #and they #well lets just say life will be the only one to feel their energy soon i think

[rqs902]

.

more random thoughts as i finish season 2....

some of my favorite moments are when the kids are cheering each other on, its the cutest thing!!! 

he yifan and zuo qibo fanboy screaming over liu ye’s rap in ‘boy in luv’ and yu gengyin and cai xukun’s relay chanting “jin ming!” “jia you!’ and ofc “dai jing” “yao na ka!!!!!” hahahahhaha i love their friendship and i love silly gengyin!!! literally even when getting off the car this ep he was so silly and when he was about to go on stage and he was like aight kids i got this, i love seeing him being less stressed ahhhh

OOF THEY LABELED IT AGAIN 

awww HE WONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH when it got announced, i literally clutched my chest and was like ‘my childdddddddddd’ aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh honestly i wasnt gonna be surprised if zuo qibo won this round but IM SO PROUD OF XIAO YU awwwwww he did so well!!!! he like worked really hard to give off a mischievous/ bad boy aura and i think it was such a refreshing and well-executed change for him that it left a strong impression c: whereas qibo is normally already very flower boy / nice guy so i dont think it was as impactful for him to continue playing a role he already embodies normally, altho he was very good-looking on this stage!! but gengyin really went out of his way to try to act cool and carry himself with that kind of aura of handsomeness / arrogance that he’s not really used to portraying and im super proud of him for pulling it off :’) continuously saying ‘我不夠壞’ hahhahhaa but similar to in the sakura stage where he was commended for his powerful stage presence, he’s continuing to build on his new improvements and im super happy he’s still riding on this high c: last ep ‘on rainy days’ i was thriving on hearing his voice smooth over those high notes and this ep’s song wasnt as lyrical, but he still managed to get some vocalizations in and im loving all this extra camera time and focus on his eye smiles. watching gengyin just smile and seeing his eyes crinkle up just makes me so happy inside c: oh! and then when he walks back into the waiting room and hes like “yaayy 努力沒有白費 yaaaaayy!!!!!” im just ooof my heart im so happy for him :’) 

also i gotta say, huadi’s attitude towards liuye is kinda scary? I know theyre all being competitive and thats the nature of this show but like liu ye kept telling him to back off basically (and not even for his own sake, but bc he knew huadi’s dancing intensity was negatively affecting jin ming and also the cohesiveness of their group overall) and huadi was still like ‘i need to show myself off so i can win’ and i felt like his attitude was off, like ‘obviously im the best, thanks’ which later became ‘i cant believe i lost, what did he do better’ whereas liu ye was also very confident but to me he came off as less intense and more calm. like ‘i know im the best, so you can go ahead and try to upstage me, but ill just do my best on my end and quietly watch you sabotage yourself’ at least thats how i perceived it .-. but idk yea i enjoyed watching liu ye more and it felt like huadi was trying too hard. but i am glad that huadi and muti resolved their issues last ep 

daidai’s stage presence during ‘overdose’ tho? he was really handsome!!! i dont normally react much to daidai’s performances but idk this time i really noticed him in contrast to jeffrey and yongju. i think he just seemed more confident than usual and all the little smiles helped. his hair flipping reminded me of muti and his sass LOL 

its really interesting to see cai xukun’s progression through this show and how everyone around him reacts as he goes through this growth process. i would say he wasnt given an absurdly greater amount of screentime but you can tell hes been building up credibility and holds a strong rank among the rest. i would say its not realllyy until the last few eps of season 2 that he pulls ahead of the rest by a significant amount. i was always thinking wu muti was a strong competitor to him but after seeing them and he yifan’s stage, it was pretty clear to me that cxk had successfully exceeded everyone else and ascended to his own level. watching the process through which he gradually builds his now-signature stage presence and now-signature voice is really fascinating and near the end of the season, he already can overshadow everyone else. it seems like huadi is very vocal about how handsome kun has become on stage, yifan doesnt hesitate to admit how good kun is, and gengyin has already admitted early on that they all should learn from kun. zuo qibo is also quick to commend kun but then it seems like muti avoids it? i can kinda guess he might be a bit jealous bc hes always been complimented and lauded on stage but then after he lost so significantly to cxk, im guessing that would be a blow to him. on the show, cxk and wmt both seem very very eager to promote themselves and are very willing to fight for opportunities that they each deem best for themselves. unlike some of the other kids who are more willing to work for the team as a whole more. not that the two of them are bad at teamwork, but i think they definitely arent afraid to demonstrate that they want to stand out and i think thats important in this industry and likely part of how cxk got so ahead. its just interesting to compare this cxk to the cxk on idol producer who knew at that point that he didnt need to fight to stand out because he already did, and he tried so hard to help the other kids around him. 

i feel like i should redo my current ranking list, but i guess with the kids who are on the show this time? (minus the s2 kids, bc lets face it, theyd be at the very bottom anyway) rn its mostly tiered like 1, then 2-7, then 8-10. i appreciate liu ye being a good teacher and leader and the way he yifan seems to be able to joke around with everyone and keep their spirits up. muti’s fireiness kinda scared me in the last few eps but i appreciate that he was mature enough to talk it out with huadi and admit he had been too stressed/riled up lately.

gengyin 

muti 

liu ye

cai xukun

he yifan 

zuo qibo

zhao pinlin (gosh im sad hes so injured) 

dai jingyao

huadi 

yongju

HAHAHAHHA THE PART WHERE ZFZ CHALLENGES THEM TO AN AB BATTLE AND YGY STEPS UP AND EVERYONES IN SHOCK BUT HE JUST RUNS DOWN THE LINE TO PUSH DAIDAI TO THE FRONT HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA i love a true silly boy 

its just so interesting bc the latter half of this season (after ygy gets nominated for elimination i guess) feels like they enjoy giving ygy camera time and attention and esp ep 8 onward hes gotten so much positive feedback ive just been amazed and so happy. and now at the end... you can tell hes really pushing himself bc hes seen that he can do well and that if he really goes above and beyond he really does have a good chance, and seeing his confidence go up with each stage that he performs well is really gratifying and im so proud of him, seeing how determined and driven he is. i just find it funny how confident he is about rap all of a sudden HAHHAHA i mean he did do very well rapping during the sakura stage and the judges did compliment him a lot for it so i cant blame him. 

omgosh the part where the teacher tells muti that he’s already lost to cxk bc cxk got picked during the first round and he hasnt yet....... oof if this is how they talk to him and they keep comparing him to cxk saying their styles are alike but cxk is better, i can see why he’d have some negative feelings towards the matter. the kid’s literally a child, i dont think this is the right way to motivate him....... liu ye patting his head to comfort a pouting muti aw 

because now its my duty to screenshot every time they label his smile !!! and this one even labels it as his “cute signature smile” ahhhHHHH THEY KNOW 

HAHAHHAHA SO I WAS TALKING TO MY SISTER and she sent us pics of her new boyfriend and i was like lol im still single BUT ive been watching a new show and i have a new bias HAHAHAH and i proceeded to show her pictures of yu gengyin i have saved on my phone HAHAHAHHA and she was like “he looks just like your type” HAHHAHAHAHAHA SHE KNOWSSS but yea i was like ‘LOOK HOW SMILEY HE IS!!!” and she was like “the dog is cuter” AHAHAHAHHAHA but its ok shes used to this. and it just reminded me of the time i showed her the ip PPAP perf with zhengting and she like straight up guessed zhengting was my fav in that perf and i was like LOL YES and she was like hE LOOKS LIKE YOUR TYPE hahahHHAHHAHahahhaAHAHAHAH my type is somewhere along the lines of zhengting and gengyin yes. 

huadi’s never-ending battle of fighting to be seen as more than a dancer... to be continued during afo :(

zuo qibo’s struggle of feeling the pressure of being an old man..... feels bad :(

aw he yifan is really so cute. hes def really improved and really doing well, but i feel like his stage presence could still be stronger. its nice to know that during afo he does really shine stage presence-wise and grows to become more mature, more respected, and a group leader as well. 

man its so nice to see daidai really thriving and confident and owning these stages because honestly i feel like on the shows ive seen him in since, including produce camp, hes given me the impression of someone whos lost his confidence and doesnt get to show his skills. i really hope he still has this super-idol version of himself in him because he really shines here, and i think it makes him seem even more handsome than just his appearance alone. oof its just hard bc this show really loves him and the judges really love him and hes so well-supported and encouraged and i think it makes a big difference in his confidence level. i feel like on other shows he hasnt been valued nearly as much and its really sad bc the kid just seems so much less confident. 

HAHAHAHA IM SORRY EVEN THO I KNEW IT WAS COMING BC OBVIOUSLY I KNOW THE FINAL LINEUP OF SWIN BUT OMG EVERYONE WAS SOOOOO SURPRISED HE YIFAN MADE IT OVER ZUO QIBO AND IM LAUGHING AHHAHAHHAHAHAH EVERYONE’S LOOK OF ASTONISHMENT IS TOO MUCH AHAHHAHAHA NO ONE HAD FAITH IN HE YIFAN ISTG HAHAHAHHAHA EVEN HE YIFAN HIMSELF IS LIKE WAT HAHAHHAAHHHAAH BUT THEN HIS ADORABLY BRIGHT SMILE IN CONTRAST WITH EVERYONE’S SHOCKED FACES IS ALSO HILARIOUS HAHAHHAHA this situation is just terrible but hilarious at the same time /sigh/ rip zuo qibo im sorry youre old but cant win :( honestly tho i can understand why they picked he yifan bc he does have more to offer the group than qibo :( considering they put daidai in and they already have yongju (and im assuming yu gengyin will be the last one) and even muti and liu ye sing (and i guess pinlin can also be considered a backup lol).... having another lead vocal isnt gonna to contribute much versus he yifan’s low tone rap. he yifan is really a cute little bean tho. oof the way he runs straight into cai xukun’s arms oof friendship

sigh so i guess its after this that yongju gets kicked out bc china (poor kid...) and then at some point daidai leaves and they randomly add in pinlin after he recovers? even tho he wasnt in like half of season 2? lol but i guess he was never eliminated.... so technically that puts him ahead of zuo qibo in terms of next-in-line to be a vocalist? but i guess honestly everyone knows that if pinlin hadnt left the show due to his injury, he wouldve been the main vocal of leo’s group, not zuo qibo. so i guess in a way as long as pinlin recovered in time, he would be considered the best vocalist to add to swin-s. and then they pull some eliminated kids to become swin-e..... going back to watch the “new world” mv is really a trip every single time. i feel like i watched it for the first time after watching ip and literally only recognized cai xukun, and every time after, i recognized a few more kids, after afo, after pdc, and after finishing super idol 1, i finally recognized all of them. but now, after watching season 2, it feels like i finally actually understand why they got picked and i truly appreciate all 6 of them. I think its really amazing to see yu gengyin go from being ranked #1 in the very first audition on the first season, to being so close to getting eliminated in season 2, to being the last one chosen to get a super card at the end of s2, to being a main vocal in “new world”, and truly truly owning that song. i mean besides cai xukun obviously upstaging everyone with his stage presence as usual, but i mean now when i listen to the song (not even watching the mv) and im really paying attention to who’s singing what part, whose voice really gets to shine and gets to dominate the song, its yu gengyin. maybe im biased or maybe its just expected since he is the main vocal, but i guess it just amuses me that i never noticed that before when i watched this mv without knowing him. now i know whose voice it is that is carrying their debut song and it makes it so special. from listening to later swin songs, i feel like zhao pinlin eventually gets himself a much larger cut of the main vocal position (to the point of surpassing gengyin even?), but i mean that is a whole other story, and i think it does flow into zhao pinlin becoming the ultimate main vocal once gengyin leaves. interestingly zuo qibo never does seem to redeem himself from being any more relevant of a vocal within the group, even tho he was def main vocal of leo’s group on s2 after zhao pinlin left... its like as soon as pinlin leaves he’s needed but when pinlin is there, he’s ignored :( gosh as soon as they announced all the winners and qibo wasnt included, his eyes just became so empty you could see his pain. 

but yes this ends my essay about the last few eps of super idol s2. LOLL i just started compiling my thoughts into larger rant posts bc i didnt want my whole dash to be littered with a bunch of small random posts, so i started collecting my thoughts on a draft as i watched and waited until it got unbearably long to post, such as now. but watching super idol 1 & 2 has been really an eye-opening experience. ive learned a lot about these kids and its truly made me appreciate the year long training they had in korea and the many many struggles and setbacks and unique experiences they had. honestly i feel like swin couldve easily been 8 people aka swin-s plus huadi and zuo qibo, because honestly theyre all very skilled and capable at this point, and huadi and zuo qibo are really on a different level from gouhao and zhu yunlong (sorry kids, i still appreciate yall tho!) since they werent on like a majority of season 2, but i guess it really doesnt matter in the very long run bc of what happened to swin anyway. such a sad sad history for them to bear, but i do hope they can all achieve some kind of success in the future, because theyve really suffered and worked so hard. ill look forward to watching old swin clips for the time being, as i wait not-so-patiently for afo2 

ps: random update, i did in fact make a gengyin gif into my phone lock screen HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH i gave in to the feels. but its the hair flip from that one ikon song he won his individual battle for, and its a historic and important moment okay HAHAHAH 

#rants #poor qibo is an old man whos really just tried his best #i have too many feels for gengyin and it shows ;_;

[leftnipsdoodles]

almost got ‘em all! thanks everyone for asking! answers are below~

1. What age did you begin getting into art? Why did you get into it? hmmmmm im gonna try to answer this as interestingly as i can. so ive been drawing all my life and i think it was just bc a) there was always art supplies lying around and b) i just had so many things in my head and wanted a way to express them or just get them out. like when i played with my toys i was always completely quiet bc i was imagining everything in my head. sound/speech/words just weren’t as interesting to me as a way to put my thoughts out there as visuals were. also i rly liked ranma 1/2 and wanted to draw it.

4. Do you make merchandise? Favorite kind of merch to make? i don’t. i did think about making charms once, even if just for myself. you know, those cute, chibi-esque ones everybody makes? then i remembered i couldn’t draw sth cute if you put a gun to my head.

5. Who/what are your art inspirations? I listed some of my favorite artists the last time i answered questions like this so i guess this time i’ll go with the ‘what’ rather than the ‘who’. to me, the most inspiring thing are atmospheres. it could be a garbage container with 1000 stickers stuck and half-way teared down on it. the way the colors and rips in the stickers look and how it adds to the mood of the location. or sometimes it’s listening to a certain song at a certain time in a certain place that creates a unique mood and inspires you. but looking at art has never been an inspiration. so there’s that.

6. What is something (a technique, behaviorism, etc.) that you do with drawing that you think is unique to you?

ok but in seriousness, i don’t think there’s anything. any uniqueness comes from a lack of skill and knowledge so i don’t think it’s worth mentioning. like what do you even want me to say?? that i edit pictures i drew in clip studio in ms paint?? bc i do.

7. Describe your style. What would you change? neither here nor there. i feel like you can tell i’m a bit scatterbrained bc my drawings always look like they were done without any kind of direction lmao.. in general, i’d like to draw more realistically. i’d like to look at my own drawings and think ‘this pose looks rly natural, the way the clothes fit, the way the face looks, the perspective, the way this character interacts with the environment; it all looks right’. i’d also like to be able to use colors better but it’s hard when you struggle to name more than 3.

8. How do you get out of an art block? well, usually, I don’t. i’m pretty sure i’ve been in one for the past 3 years or so lmao (lamenting my anguish online) but i’ve been told that just working through it is the best way to go. just drawing. even if you hate everything. future you will thank you for it, bc you’ll probably be learning things while doing so, even if you can’t see it at that moment.

9. Does your style reflect who you are visually or your personality? both tbh. if you saw a pic of myself next to a drawing of proto danny you’d definitely see a resemblance in a way. (things like the clothes i draw him in are a given i think. ive probably drawn 90% of my wardrobe at this point) but my personality too. the things i spend more time on while drawing, the colors i choose, the mood in my drawings. that’s all a part of me. im pretty sure my oc tags are fairly accurate documentation of my mood swings and general attitude towards life throughout time lmao also, this thing i summed up in my tags a few years ago

10. What do you find easiest about drawing? getting the ideas for it

11. What do you find hardest about drawing? actually drawing said ideas. look, the moment i sketch the idea down it’s already 50% worse than i imagined it, then when i go to actually draw the thing it turns into sth so bad that i can’t even come up with a forced joke about the scenario. but anyway, lately the thing that scares me the most about drawing (and why i can hardly do it) is heads. heads heads heads. faces faces faces. i just cant do it man lmao

12. Is art part of your career or a hobby? What is your goal with art in life? my goal is to get a better hobby and to never have to return to drawing ever again. but that’s wishful thinking. i guess it’ll always stay my biggest hobby but i’d consider my life a failure if it ever turned into a career.

13. Advice to give to beginning artists? draw your ideas. never limit your creativity bc you don’t have the skill to express it to its full extent. a crappily drawn picture that conveys a cool idea or creates a cool atmosphere is just as good as an expertly crafted painting that has a lame subject. there’s a reason ppl admire the mona lisa but would rather read 90s manga than stare at that portrait all day. god. i guess motivational speaker is another career that’s out of the question lmao but you get what i mean!!

14. Advice to give to your artist peers?

also don’t take advice from me.

15. What have you drawn recently that you are proud of? ‘recent’ is relative, and so is ‘proud’, but i still rly like how this pic turned out. i just feel like it looks very decided, like i knew what i wanted to do and did it (i didn’t)

16. Show something you drew in the past that shows your improvement. 2017 - 2011

ahh tbh.. looking at this i don’t feel like i’ve improved a lot at all lmao..

17. Show something you drew in the past you’re still proud of. this pic might just be one of my favorites i’ve ever drawn. it’s still alright art-wise and it’s probably the most from-the-heart thing i’ve drawn so obviously, i have a soft spot for it lmao but i also just found this again and i still love it, even tho it’s ugly. also this bone which, infamously, is my crowning achievement

you know what i find funny rn? that it’s hard for me to decide which pic to choose for this question. i mean i went through my old art and cringed a LOT but there’s so many pics that im rly fond of, now that i’ve gained some distance to them. i wonder if it’ll be like that with the stuff i draw now, too.

19. Share a tutorial or reference that helped you. nothing concrete but i’ll mention ‘blind drawing’ again. it helped me get a different feel for the lines i’m drawing and, theoretically, would have made me better at drawing from life too

20. Plug time! Where else can followers find you? in the woods around 3am. don’t make eye contact.

#buff arms reply #no proofreading. also as always: good luck reading this on my blog theme lmfao #(highlight the text) #(then curse me under your breath)

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

#evans #submission

[thegeminisage]

since i FINALLY finished the comic page im gonna make the poor choice of playing zelda ALL NIGHT get ready for The Longest Post which is full of Big Super Spoilers

since lynel thoroughly kicked my can last night i need defense food and preferably stronger weapons

i technically already had more than enough shock arrows to proceed but i wanna kill him!!!!

LMFAO I JUST COOKED SOMETHING THAT GIVES ME 21 EXTRA HEARTS...HOLY FUCK

okay but in all seriousness i only have like 3 defense things........

i guess i'll try it fuck i dont feel like scouring the world for ironshrooms rn

ok. slept on the bed to get my stamina wheel & 3 hearts, will use my 21 hearts when those run out, got 3 defense things for about 14m of defense, I Can Do This

really i wish i had a one-handed weapon, two-handers are so slow :/

well here we go again :|||

lol why does my heartrate always go up for shit like smh.....

getting better at dodging

ooh he hates my ice arrows

HAHAHA I MOUNTED HIM

maybe i can get a snapchat pic

YES i did i didn't attack him in that perfect moment but hey some thing are more important

NOOO FUCK I DIED

I FORGOT TO REFRESH MY DEFENSE ELIXIR BC I HAD GOTTEN UP AND FORGOT IT WAS ALMOST OUT

JESUS FUCK

im so fucking annoyed lmao i was so close

oh well at least now i can use that whole mount

aaand again

oh. im out of ice arrows.

YIKES i forgot to refresh my thing again just for a sec and almost died

YES i got a perfect dodge purely on accident NICE!!!!

i can see everything from shatterback point, even naydra, but im too scared to jump while the beast is down there

no yk what fuck it. im turning this paraglider around

first tho i really wanna wait to see if i can catch another rainbow...they were so pretty and i lost the other pics i took when i died ):

oh!!! there it is!!!!! and i was just about to give up

ah it last such a short time - but it comes at the same time every day, around 4:05

i'm sure it won;t appear here anymore after the divine beasts knocks it off with the water though, haha

okay.......time to dive

/saves first

AHAHAHA I DID IT

WOW THAT THING IS SO HUGE UP CLOSE BYE

i mean it didnt even move im just Scared. ok

duuude i gave the lynel pic to the lady and got swim pants?! FUCKING SICK where do i get a helm

okay time to go free the divine beast!!

haha wait i came out here without defense stuff. i didn't cook anymore

oh well yolo

or actually this is a game so i live as many times as i want #determination

i do still have some extra hearts left, and stamina, and some healing items, and even some electricity elixirs, sowow!! okay! still huge!!!!!

ah i love sidon so much

he tries so hard and he's so ready and he loves his people so dearly

i bet he's gonna die lol

if it's like, a sage thing, maybe he has to replace mipha if she really is gone

jesus please don't die sidon PLEASE

OH MY GOD I GET TO RIDE ON HIS BACK?

JFC THIS MUSIC IS SO COOL!!!! AAAAKDSHFGKLJ

OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING!!! IN THE FIGHT!!!!! IM CRYING THIS IS SO COOL SKDFHBG

oh my gos he's talking he's talking there's voice acting im literally dying i cant handle!!!!!! this!!!!!! i lvoe him so much

omg omg

dude that was SO cool

and link got to ride on his back and then say goodbye!!! and sidon BELIEVES in him!!!!!!!!!!

god i wish i had gotten the helm before i did this haha i looked up the location but i don't think i can back out now

MIPHA?

MIPHA IS TALKING TO ME??

I CAN HEAR MIPHA'S VOICE

I'M CRYING I KNEW SHE WAS STILL ALIVE

i feel like she's about to die like the old man like Move On but

to see her again!!!!!!! im so emotional

oh my god oh my god

no okay i can leave and i need a second too im gonna go get the helm

apparently theres a quest you can do that doesnt give you the helm but tells you where to find it? but i can do that later rn i just want complete armor

alright nice full set hell yeah

HOLY fuck i was paragliding back and i tried to paraglide over the divine beast and it fucking OBLITERATED ME jesus CHRIST

dude there are these absolutely freaky eyeball things you gotta shoot to get rid of gunk and the music gets all creepy near them lsdksjfgh

oh no i found the cockpit but it's all closed up...is her corpse in there? her ghost? oh my god it says the terminals are unactivated

i'll be honest im a BIT stuck here i hate to have to use a guide, but

NO wait oh my god my runes!!! dumbass

i can lift the bars lol

oh my god the CONTROLS are on???

I CAN MOVE IT?? HOLY SHIT

this map is fucking 3D a 3D map!!!! in the other games they were flat holy shit!!!!

i can even see it moving on the minimap!!! holy FUCK

LMAO i was trying to move this crank with stasis and all along i needed to use magnesis. jesus

uh the music got freaky as fuck after i did the first terminal??? no?? thank you????

LOL YOU GOTTA RIDE THE TRUNK oh my god. oh my god.jesus christ

i am so small. it is so big. oh my god

I FEEL UNSAFE!

who is the boss of this dungeon? there's gotta be a boss

don't tell me i fight it

or the undead mipha

jesus god

i have had to ride this trunk 3 times now and i am not at all comfortable

reminds me of the big windmill in mirror's edge

okay yep i did all the terminals and now the music is downright terrifying!!! nice good Okay

HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT BLUE LIGHT

MIPHA?

NOT MIPHA!!!

"my demise 100 years ago" is she Really gone

omg no mipahs talking to me as i fight!!!

im straight up gonna look up what to do im too weak and defense-potionless to do this the hard way

ooh motherfucker doesnt like my shock arrows and lynel bow ahaha

huh that was actually like SUPER easy compared to some of the other stuff i've done

eeeewwwwww

MIPHA? ARE YOU ALIVE OR DEAD IN THERE? oh god oh god

holy fuck

i straight up just cried

she's a spirit and i thought she was gonna like, move on? which is sad enough

but no she's hanging around to pilot the divine beast from the afterlife

she even talked to it i was so sad it's been her only companion for a century of course she fucking talks to it

and i was staying strong!!! i was!!!!!

but she talked about how she wished she could see her dad again and i cried lmao why does this game give me dad feels of all things

i hope she gets to see her dad one more time too i'm so sad she's really dead and not alive like link

jesus fuck

oooh dorephan's talking about the master sword...gimme gimme gimme!!!

aww he was nice to sidon as everyone should be!!!!

holy shit he's really big?? i didn't realize it but he's like twice link's height JESUS

man. i am fucking wrecked lol

time to...explore...the rest of the province...i guess

i got a trident but i can never use it bc it will break. it was mipha's!!!!

on the other hand all three pieces of armor, my shield, weapon, AND bow are all zora themed i took a pic of myself to remember it by lol bc they will all break

i wonder where i should go after this...?

my brother went up to death mountain but i kinda want to do something different so we have something to tell each other about

but i kinda want to do the same so we don't spoil each other

i also REALLY wanna do the southeastmost province for some reason, all that water

tbh tho im getting ahead of myself i still have lots of this left to cover

it's getting harder to tell where i've already been, haha - when the things had borders and there was less visible that was easier

ooooh mipha's ability brings me back from death and she speaks briefly to me ;_; and it's active again in 23 minutes nice!

so i guess each champion gives you a different one and you can chose which to have active but tbh this one seems like it's gonna be the most helpful already

aww i did a little quest in kakariko to root out a theif and i love the way they built up dorian's past that's so cool

i think i was supposed to be able to pick up that yiga dude's sword tho and it glitched on me bc i was too fast :/

ugh i'm doing this oen shrine puzzle where you have to mount a male deer

and i finally mounted one after losing 10000 times and it was past some hills it wouldn't climb down

every time i find one thats close enough they fucking bolt im so fed up :|

and my sheikah sensor isn't picking up any more so i must have literally scared away all of them. fantastic. what a huge waste of time!! guess i will go somewhere else!

also can't solve the puzzle on how to open the shrine at veiled falls so im just batting a thousand today so much for sidequesting tbqh

FOUND A BLUE MANED LYNEL

SO MUCH NOPE

urgh and a blue hinox

exploring might not be worth my time either tbh

yeah no that's two shrines i haven't been able to open and this has stopped being fun, got one more ridge to explore before im done with this province - and some weird islands waaaay out there too but idk if i can get to them yet, and i'd just as soon wait until i unlocked the one next to them

yyyeah looking at them from here it makes much more sense to explore them when i get to that province

at least im all done with this one!! still plenty of sidequests and stuff, but those i can come back t more easily...it's harder to remember which terrain i have and haven't covered when i don't do it like this

i was thinking about how big the divine beast was when i saw it in the distance and

this sounds nuts but i bet im right - what if that flying island thing is a divine beast. WHAT IF

and that is The Day's Liveblog, more tomorrow, except probably not much bc of stream

#personal #loz liveblogging #botw spoilers #SUPER SPOILERS

[haeroniel-doliet]

soo who thinks i should post my art portfolio onto instagram? that being my ib hl art portfolio i did for grading a year ago?

 its special to me bc tho most pages were done over 2-3 weeks bc im the worst kinda procrastinator, i did dedicate a lot of thought to most of those pages and love em. i do enjoy showing off the book to guests but, maybe i should make a thing of it on instagram? bc im posting a lot more on instagram to comemmorate shit ive done and keep a record of it that people i know and trust can wonder through to get a glimpse into my life (esp more recent life) through pretty pictures? i did once upon a time post a pic of a branch on an empty page saying like, first of many portfolio pics to come! and i never posted more than a few other glimpses to my work, i think a lot of people would appreciate seeing them even if they cant read them thru (saddest bc i actually have no access to the powerpoint of the book edited to be graded, nor do i have the rationale or any descriptions of my main art pieces submitted for grading a) bc they deleted my school email without warning and b) my old art teacher hasnt gotten back to me and i havent gotten the chance to visit school, (i probably will after exams and im back in london)) unless i get those pictures i wont be able to post my proper art up, and if i did get them id probably make them into a facebook post bc that exhibition is still my profile picture and probably will be for time to come bc it shows me delighted and proud after putting up one of my biggest achievements in art. that in mind i could be ironic, wait a while now (esp bc i just have posted like almost everyday london pics etc) and wait till im back in london for the summer, and have a thursday (great bc ib exams are in may anyway, so proper just over a year memorial!) to post them, gives a bit of a gap in florals i suppose, and a break to all my 25 active followers from me posting all the time and then going silent for long. maybe itd be good to have a: london london london: couple pics of aberdeen to sum up the year/travelling scotland on the way back down: then wait a bit and then post them (as im back to my 3 in a row, thatd be at most another 6, maybe 3 just bc i love putting pictures up as memories, especially after i lost so many bc of my phone and since i dont like facebook, think i post up to 30 in a row bc it allows up to 10 hah maybe its oto much, but its one of those things thats not annoying? you can easily ignore it, its not my face, its not me bragging per say, its just me going look people who know me and care even a little bit, heres some pictures i think are pretty and a little context to whats up in my life! anyway. thats a good plan not to do it rn, bc i have all summer to post them the book is going nowhere its too precious, and even better i could potentially post scans not just the pictures, but nobody really reads what i wrote anyway soeh. and then i’ll have it on my instagram to show to people whereever i am without whacking out a great big book (still appreciated by real guests at the house, wow that sounds pretentious) and its 24 pages, some shitter than others, but that means i can divide them up to 8 each post, potentially in order as they appear in the book, but gotta be careful i dont end up with a shitty page on the first one, maybe ill put my 3 showstopper pages up ( being branch, kiefer, smth.) but i also dont want them to just be glanced over if theyre my best idk ill take some arranging, maybe pick 3 thatll compliment each other in a row and then gather things into them as they go,

 i.e. project pages! i.e. technique pages! i.e. inspiration/artist pages!

 that could group them quite nicely, and then ofc i have long captions, but i dont wanna blab too much about like, oh yeah technique was kinda never my choice, and the inspo artist pages are my faves. and then ofc illpost my front and back covers (thatd make an interesting series as them being the first and last first pic, as if they frame the middle, but considering instagram likes to stick to a shape per post, i might just include them as a spread at the end of one of them. write a few lines along lines of 

1st TBT to my complete portfolio page in ib hl art that i once upon a time hinted at here, but never got to posting more about. but infact i love all the work ive done and its one of the things im terribly proud of, and even if i dont currently have any solid pictures of my exhibition, within here are some progress etc pics of those works that i exhibited. 1/3 

ill work on the rest of this later probably 

[dustybunny]

FFXV OC NOTES

hi I have a lot of these nerds and haven’t posted in a while so y not

Might post pics later when the headache I have goes away hhhh

so ok

-literally the first ones i made were Aurora and Eloise

twins

-and whoops kinda shipped Eloise w/ prom orz (and still do aaa fite me)

-but both are also super duper lame and part of the lucian royal counsel bc their parents are advisors and so thus are kinda friends with the gang

-aurora mainly is a short tempered pain train and eloise is the sweet one but does retain a rebellious streak

-eloise was actually trapped in insomnia for a few days after the attack and had to make her way out while aurora would be training to become an official kingsglaive

-both twins are able to wield swords, and if teamed up will be Super Extra and swap them around when doing combos and link strikes

-however, aurora can also use shields while eloise had to pick up marksmenship while in the city to fight the mts a little better

-after the ending, eloise paired up with prom, mainly bc when i was writing their like "party banter" they kinda . clicked. since bc eloise probs also met prom when noct started bringing him to the citadel for after school hangouts and was like "om g who is u and why u gotta cute face"

-and then aurora casually teasing her along the way ( "ask him out already! ! " "ohmigosh nooooo he likes other girls stahp" "w/e kiss him itll fix that problem" "rORY NO,, , " )

-whoops a potencial side quest / tour was getting them to go on a date in lestallum, including sneaking around corners to spy on them aaa

-bUT UH ANYWAY

-with eloise she didnt feel comfortable just leaving prom behind like, he just lost his best friend to shitty god logic and was distant from ignis and glaudio. even tho hed be way more independant then before (read: his episode), i think itd still bother him being alone, seeing as not even Cindy was really giving him attention during the skip

-so they teamed up during those 10yrs, being demon hunting partners. after the end of the starscourge, they finally take their first actual break before jumping in with the insomnia restoration efforts (of course theres a funeral for noct in there im just .. . cant go there i get too emotional about these dang nerds)

-so when noct passes on, rory kinda,,, goes thru a bit of an existance crisis before throwing herself into restoring insomnia

-but h hh the other nerds ;w;

-Chaleb, Darius, & Elias : Glaives!! Darius is a mage while the other two specialize in greatswords (Elias) and polearms (Chaleb).

-all three are loyal to King Regis, despite Elias showing some doubt and was thinking of leaving before chaleb and darius talked him out of it.

-All three were childhood friends, and were from Galahd, joining up with the kingsglaive after its fall.

-in the effort to escape the attack on insomnia, darius and elias manage to escort a group of survivors out, but are seperated from Chaleb, who manages to team up with Eloise during her "episode"

-Viola and Lukas : both are similar in a way to prompto : pre- mts.

-Viola is an odd case given that instead of being a "perfect" clone, her gene sample was expiremented on and resulted her in being female, as opposed to all of her "brothers".

-Lukas was another botched clone, suffering from lacking essencial vitamins and in general developing poorly.

-Both were to be disposed of, but Ardyn (?) managed to convince Verstael that they could be salvaged as regular troops. However, Lukas escaped the keep at the first chance he got, while Viola stayed behind to eventually become a communications officer.

-however, viola shares the same views as arenea. seeing the chaos and terror simply not worth the end result.

-reuniting with lukas, they work on leaking intel to lucian forces before being caught and soon hunted by mts

-after proving themselves loyal to Noctis, they join into the group. This causes a bit of friction, mostly bc who tf trusts a nif rn

-the most vocal of opposition being gladio , which did cause a bit of fight between him and Lukas

-however viola offers a piece of useful info: she knows where a rare weapon is that once belonged to a Lucian noble

-so along the quest to get it, Lukas stays behind to help the hunters and Cor, while viola becomes the guest member of the group

-cue awkwardly sitting between Noct and gladio on that car ride

-of course it’s in a cave, being used by a yojimbo type daemon boss

-it strikes at Ignis, and would’ve straight up killed him

-had it not for a smol nif girl jumping in the way

-quickly they grab the weapon and get outta dodge, racing back to the hunters hq to treat the wounds

-meantime viola is rambling about Lukas and hers plan to help keep Noctis safe from ardyn, seeing as he’s targeting him for some reason (eep)

-by the time they get there Lukas is seconds from freaking out and what happened and oh gods that’s a deep cut and holy six please don’t leave me

-thankfully she’s patched up in time, but isn’t able to move around much.

-and bc of her shielding Iggy Cor eventually vouches for the both of them, staying that if they wanted to could’ve let the party die in that cave and alerted the mts whenever they wanted

-so yay! New friends!

-Lukas primarily uses rifles, though will use knives in close quarters. Typically carries his own sniper rifle, along with a long curved and serrated combat knife

-viola however has taught herself dragoon polearm techniques, and is like a less powerful arenea. Despite this she is quicker, and can pick off weaker enemies faster.

#final fantasy 15 #final fantasy xv #ffxv #ff15 #my ocs #ff oc #ff15 oc #ffxv oc #final fantasy 15 oc #final fantasy xv oc