#i could literally write about them forever

[taasgirl]

lover - oscar piastri

summary: y/n is a songwriter who writes plenty of songs however no one realizes that they're made by her (and about oscar hehe)!

a/n: the outcomes of the races are fictional, and the order in which these songs have been written (assume fearless was written this year ygwim?). also no face claim!!

liked by yukitsunoda, oscarpiastri, and 33, 287 others ynusername romance is not dead if you keep it just yours! lovelovelove being able to come home for race day!! i'm so proud of u osc 🩷

oscarpiastri I'm so lucky 🥰 liked by ynusername

user27633 Y/N IS A SWIFTIE CONFIRMED!?!?!

ynusername of course!!

user16372 u literally take the cutest photos of oscar

user82537 y/n quoting paris... i'm so up

yukitsunoda 😆😆

landonorris You're my favourite wag

ynusername wow how considerate

liked by taylorswift, landonorris, and 1, 287, 387 others oscarpiastri Unwinding before Japan 👊

ynusername tehee we're cute

oscarpiastri You're cuter landonorris Get a room

taylorswift ooooh she's working hard @ ynusername

user62584 WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING HERE???

user98274 OSCAR IS FRIENDS WITH TAYLOR HUH

user61192 i did not expect to see taylor in the comments of oscar's post tagging y/n!

user92898 no fr like what is going on

user93829 Everyone shut up about taylor look at the beauty that is y/n omd

view ynusername's story...

liked by jackantonoff, phoebebridgers, and 55, 918, 278 others taylorswift In honour of my album 'The Tortured Poets Department' release a week ago, I wanted to thank my biggest musical inspirations! Thank you Jack, Lana, and Y/N for helping me the best artist I could possibly be, without you'd guys I'd be nowhere (thank you y/n for writing the cheesiest, cutest, sexiest songs ever)!!

user51862 who is y/n

user01827 She's dating f1 driver oscar piastri but also now apparently a songwriter idk...

user72973 Wdym thanks y/n for writing?? you're telling me the twitter stans were right??

user62863 y/n is singlehandedly uniting f1 and the swifties

ynusername thank u tay 💓💓

user52868 Girl has been living a double life

user51929 ohhh so this is why taylor was commenting on oscar's post😭

liked by oscarpiastri, taylorswift, and 108, 276 others ynusername well now that the cat is out of the bag, who wants to hear a story? i assume u all said yes.

on one of our first dates, oscar made me a bracelet (yes that one) and i thought (and still think) that it was one of the most romantic gestures. so obviouslyyy i wrote 'lover' about him hehe. yes we only knew each other for at most three months when i wrote it, but i love him so much, he's my forever.

oscarpiastri I love having a singer for a girlfriend (wife one day)

ynusername hello cat boy

user18739 You're telling me that taylor's most romantic song is literally written by my favourite wag about my favourite driver?? i might pass out

ynusername haha yes! i write a lot of songs for tay

landonorris So this song is basically about ur delusions liked by ynusername

user52863 oh now i need to know exactly what songs you've written

user20939 AND PLEASE RECORD COVERS OF THEM TOO

lilymhe wait so you've been friends with taylor the whole time...

lilymhe AND THE SONG THAT I WANT PLAYED AT MY WEDDING IS WRITTEN ABOUT OSCAR?? ynusername oh my god lily HAHA

let me know if you liked this!! i know it's super short but i'm seriously lacking inspo and ideas omd. also i literally love oscar so much.

i'm also working on a few reqs, so if you have a suggestion or request, let me know because i'd love to do it!!

#oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri smau #op81 #op81 x reader #op81 imagine #op81 fluff #op81 fic #formula 1 x you #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fic #formula 1 #formula one #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x oc #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #formula one x oc #mclaren #mclaren f1 #f1 #f1 x reader

[munsonsreputation]

hii! omg so i rlly love your writing its incredible. i have two requests but you can choose whichever one! the first one is an imagine w steve and the reader based off of call it what you want by taylor. orr a hurt/comfort imagine where the reader is basically comforting steve maybe aft he’s had a fight w his parents or something? again i rlly love your writing literally look forward for new writeups all the time!

at least we did one thing right

a/n: this one has been sitting in my inbox since forever and i managed to stir up this cute little thing. ciwyw is one of my favorite tracks of reputation and i can't wait to get the re-recording of this (hopefully soon!!!)

The party was in full swing, and by party you meant all of your close friends who are gathered in Steve’s living room and kitchen entertaining themselves while you and Steve hid away in his backyard like a routine.

His gaze flickered through the sliding doors, mock concern etched on his features as he mutters under his breath, “I swear to god, they better not pick the pineapple off the other slices.”

You turned your head to see what he was going on about, and sure enough the teenage boys were ravaging the kitchen like they hadn’t eaten in days. At this rate, they were like bottomless pits, and you weren’t quite sure how they were able to put away a portion of food without blinking.

Still, you snorted, swatting a hand over his thigh and garnering his attention back to you.

“They’re growing boys and their appetites are different from when they were twelve. We can order another if they’re still hungry.” You shrugged.

He shook his head, shifting to pull your legs over and across his lap.

“I ordered pineapple for you, and you should at least get to have one slice of it.” Steve insisted, though your orbs were too clouded with heart eyes to see the irritation he wore for the innocently selfish boys.

You pursed your lips into a tight smile, hooking your arm over his bicep, tugging yourself closer to him, “You’re so cute for someone who hogs all the blankets at night.”

He looked down at you, shaking his head with a mushy smile coming over him, “Hey you’re the one who likes the house freezing!”

Steve rumbles a string of laughter into the air, using his free arm that’s not being clung onto, to drape over your frame, practically wrenching your whole body onto his as you begin joining in the amusement. You give up on trying to get the upper-hand, letting yourself sit comfortably in his lap, your joined hands resting on either side of your bodies and you lean down to lay your head on his chest.

You snuggled deeper into the fabric of his shirt, inhaling the lingering scent of his cologne. It’s a simple pleasure of yours to be wrapped up in his arms, high above the whole scene, in your own little world like nothing else mattered.

“You’re my portable space heater, got all the warmth I need,” you declared, pressing kind kisses over his chest feeling his lips brush over your hairline.

Steve thought he must have done something right in this lifetime in order to give himself to you in a way he hadn’t given anyone else before. He doesn’t care that it’s simply you two sneaking away just to act like corny teenagers again. All of that fades into nothing when you look at him the way you do.

But before you could savor the moment, a familiar voice interrupted from above, followed by the squeak of rusty wheels gliding across the frame.

“Are you guys having fun out here without us!” Robin shouted, ringing out closer as she approached you both, but of course not without the presence of Eddie by her side.

You sat up, laughing, while Steve groaned and craned his neck to greet them. “You guys have to stop sneaking off to do whatever this is,” Eddie teased, gesturing between you both with a lighthearted smirk.

Steve grunted, “You’re just mad you don’t have a girlfriend to love on,” he shot back, pulling you down by the wrists to meet his lips in a messy kiss that left you giggling.

Eddie feigned revulsion and quickly retreated back inside, while Robin settled beside your bodies, her eyes twinkling with affection. “I still think you guys are adorable, even though this sneaking off thing is getting old.”

Robin had always been rooting for the two of you — there was just something about you both that made perfect sense, and when you finally bit the bullet, it was safe to say she was celebratory about the whole thing.

“We just don’t want to bore you guys with our public displays of affection,” you teased, sharing a knowing smile with Robin who threw her head back and laughed at all the times your friends would scold you both to cut out the lovey dovey acts.

Steve interjected, “Last time we cuddled on the couch you kicked us out of movie night…in my house!”

Robin rolled her eyes, pointing an accusing finger at him. “That’s because we could all smell the sexual tension between you guys. Seriously, just get it out of your systems before we get here.”

You slapped your hands over your flushed face, groaning behind them, “Noted. We’ll remember that for next time.” You promised, shaking your head.

Steve couldn’t contain his laughter, his eyes crinkling as he turned to his best friend with a pleading look. “Now, can you please leave and let me make out with my girlfriend in peace?”

She rose up out of the lounger with a grin, “If there’s one thing you guys did right, it’s each other… and I don’t mean sex!” With that she disappeared back inside, leaving you both to yourselves.

Steve gently pulled your hands away from your face, his soft smiling easing away any idling embarrassment that you knew was all in good fun. He brought your hands closer to his lips, spreading kisses across your knuckles that made your stomach flip with warmth.

“Well, at least did one thing right,” He murmured, raising his brows up at you as you blushed and nodded.

“We sure did.” You whispered, before cupping his cheeks and bringing yourself down to him.

Your eyes fluttered shut, closing the distance between your lips, fitting themselves together like a daydream. The jokers and the drama queens could take all the swings and call it whatever they wanted to — as long as you and Steve knew it was love.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @the-alchemys @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3

#munsonsreputation #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fanfic #steve stranger things #steve harrington #taylor swift x stranger things #steve harrington x taylor swift

[mariamastermind]

No one hates Joe, not even Taylor, she hates the fact that her forever started to crumble to the point of no bouncing back. Both of them struggle with mental health, like a lot of people I’m sure, but just saying his “bluest days” doesn’t mean she’s talking about his mental health, it could literally just mean he had a bad day and took it out on her, or she tried to help him and he wouldn’t let her. And the album is actually barely about him. Taylor says in “In Summation” that she writes the “worst men the best”, I’d say a lot of The Anthology tracks are about him as well as like 1 (So Long, London) on the standard album.

He’s not one of the worst men, he’s the one that got away. I don’t think it’s fair for Swifties to hate on Joe, and it’s not fair for Swifties and non-swifties (who for some reason listened to the album?) to hate Taylor for being vulnerable. Joe can make a statement if he wants, and that’s fine by me.

The more I look at the lyrics of So Long, London, the more I feel bad for both of them. Joe wasn’t sure how to deal with whatever was going on in his own life and Taylor going out, doing promotions for Red TV; Taylor on the other hand didn’t know what to do because she felt him slipping and she couldn’t help him like he did for her because he pushed her away, intentionally or not we’ll never know. She says that she stopped trying to make him laugh and stopped trying to drill the safe (“the safe” being him and her trying to get him to talk to her about whatever he was going through and he resisted to let her). It hurt them both. At some point they both just came to the agreement of that this just wasn’t going to work out anymore. They were there for each other through their darkest days (or bluest days) but ultimately things just aren’t meant to be even if Taylor thought it was. It’s just cruel to pick a side when there’s so much no one considered. So no, I can’t back up the people who say she’s “wrong” for writing about his “bluest days” in one line about how she felt about their relationship. And I can’t back up the people who say “she got mad at him for being depressed and not wanting to get married so she could have her perfect wedding” because that’s not what she’s saying at all; I’m sure they’d talked about marriage and at the time it felt right, but their lives were changing and they didn’t want to hurt the other person or themselves even more than they had already. And you know what, I actually think he’s genuinely proud of her for being this vulnerable and putting on a smile every week and singing “Lover” and trying not to cry, and I think he’s genuinely happy that she’s genuinely happy with Travis, and I think he was think “wtf Taylor” when people found out about her and Matty Healy, and I think he was genuinely relieved when he saw things between them ended.

I just think that no matter what happened between them, they still wish each other the best. I think he genuinely thinks she deserves the happiness she’s felt in the past year after getting through a whole lot of shit.

(And to all the people saying Taylor “sent” her fans out to threaten Joe and his friends and costars, A) she would never do that no matter how she may feel about a person and B) fake fans do that, not real ones. Maybe you should start learning the difference since you can’t shut up about her or us.)

#taylor swift #swifties #1989 taylor's version #party like it’s 1989 #speak now taylor’s version #long live taylor’s version #red taylor’s version #evermore #fearless taylor’s version #ttpd #ttpd lyrics #ttpd track list #ts ttpd #ttpd era #the tortured poets #the tortured poets department #so long london #joe alwyn

[bisexualiteaa]

Hi honey, I just discovered your Cooper fics today and oh my gods. They're incredible, I love the way you write him ❤️. I was wondering, if you're still taking requests that is (no pressure like), if you could do a sub! Cooper x reader? Preferably male!reader or with male genitalia, but fem is totally okay if you're not comfortable with that 😁. I just think Coop with a taller, more muscular partner is neat.

I'm thinking the reader was secretly married to Coop and Barb beforehand, but lost part of their memories after they became a ghoul and one of the best bounty hunters around, wearing a mask. And all they remember about Coop is how beautiful his eyes were (Walton Goggins has the most gorgeous eyes ever, I swear 😫) So the reader wants the head too and tags along with the gang, eventually getting closer to Cooper. During a fight, reader gets hurt and Coop comes over to help them, but reader is finally close enough to properly see his eyes and realises it's him. Coop takes off the mask, reader remembers, there's tears, kisses, and eventually super soft, subby sex.

So, really just really angsty, then fluffy when they find each other after 200 years. Reader taking care of our baby girl Coop, and him just accepting the love and being a pillow princess. Maybe a little overstim and edging if we're feeling spicy 😉.

I'm so sick for this man, it's unhealthy. Thanks again for your amazing work, love. I absolutely made my day better! (Sorry for how long this ask is 🙃).

It’s Been a Long, Long Time

Cooper Howard x Ghoul Fem Reader (angst-fluff!)

CW: pre-ghoul Cooper, established relationship, reader and Cooper were married and had a child together, character death, cursing, angst!! But don’t worry, it’s a happy ending, slight OOC Cooper, slight deviation from the TV series

AN: not me posting this at 3am before I leave for a trip for the weekend, I feel like I’ve depraved y’all! 😂 I wanted to post this to give y’all some good Cooper Content ™️ before I go on a three day hiatus for vacation! 🥺 Thank you all to the people who have submitted asks, I promise I am still working on them/towards getting to them! ❤️ In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this one! @kinatanhi I hope I did your request justice! I know it’s a little tweaked from what you sent in and forgive me, I wrote this literally an hour ago at 2am because it finally came to me what I wanted to write, but seeing as it was written at 2am, y’all please forgive me if it isn’t my best work, I tried my best lol. 😭❤️

You smiled happily as you danced with your husband in your shared, quaint little kitchen, his hands coming to rest at your waist as they always did, and your arms looped around his neck. You were thankful that the producers on set of his movie, as well as his agent, allowed him to come home early in order to celebrate your birthday with you. You stood smiling up at him as you two danced- well, more like swayed, to the slow music playing from the radio. You lay your head against his chest, smiling as your eyes set on the gorgeous flowers that were lying on the kitchen counter that he brought home just for you. You smiled up at him when you caught him staring down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his gaze. “What’s that look for, hmm?” You asked with a playful smile, making him chuckle and flash that gorgeous smile of his that you loved so much, almost as much as his eyes that you swore you could be lost in forever. “Nothin’, just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful woman on this earth” he said, making you hum appreciatively at his cute answer. “Oh stop it, you charmer you” you replied, making him scoff in fake offense, making you giggle at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know I don’t go throwin’ that ‘round willy-nilly, little lady” he assured, making you smile wider at him as you laughed. “I know, I’m a lucky woman to call you my husband” you replied sweetly, getting up on your tip toes to kiss him as you looped your arms around his neck once more.

Those were better days, days when things were so simple, times where all you had to worry about was nothing more than how long the pie was in the oven, or how your baby was doing. It was a pleasant memory, one you’d never forget as the last time you’d seen your husband since the war. That night flooded your memories each time you’d lay down to close your sunken in eyes, they were the only thing about you now that remained as human as they were back before you became a ghoul. You swore to yourself that you’d find him one day, swore that you would kill the bastards that started all this, that took your baby girl away from you before she had a chance at a good life and separated you from your husband. You prayed each and every night that he was still out there, still alive somewhere, roaming the wastelands like you were. You knew it was doubtful at best, maybe it was better if he wasn’t alive to live through the shit you have, to see the way you look, but one could only hope for the better things. You no longer looked the same way you used to back then. Your soft, nearly perfect skin was now marred and leathery, your teeth yellowed from radiation exposure, poor diet and lack of ability to actually care for them, and your nose was now missing completely from your face, a deep hole sitting where the cartilaginous appendage once did. You wondered if he would even love you still in this state, if he’d even recognize you. You couldn’t blame him if he didn’t, you weren’t that same woman anymore physically or emotionally. Anger and vengeance had a hold on your heart like a vice death grip, you were kind to those who deserved it sure, but to those who crossed you? Those who hurt you? Let’s just say there’s a reason you’re a feared bounty hunter out here in the wastelands and not in a vault somewhere.

You were walking into Filly one late morning, coming to pay a visit with Ma June to see if there was anything she needed, any bounty she may have had for you for some extra caps. Your supply of chems to keep you from going feral was running low, you were down to your last bottle in your inhaler, and in desperate need of more. As you strode into town, you pulled your bandana up over your nose, effectively covering your face below your eyes, your large hat casting a shadow on the rest. You weaved your way through the vendors as they were trying to shove goods at you and anyone who was behind or around you. As you waded though, your ears caught the sound of a deep, southern accent that sounded awfully familiar to you. “I ain’t interested unless you got RadAway” he spoke harshly to the vendor haggling him, and you had to do a double take. He sounded just like your husband. You turned in the hopes to place a body to the voice but by the time you could, he was already lost into the crowd, impossible to find amongst the sea of people now that he wasn’t speaking to anyone anymore.

You huffed to yourself, wondering if maybe you were just hearing things, or maybe you were just plain out delusional at this rate. It wouldn’t shock you, between the years of radiation exposure, radiation sickness, and everything in between, you wouldn’t be shocked to find out you’d gone mad. However you wanted ever so badly for it to have been him that was speaking. To run up to him, arms outstretched, tears down your face but a happy smile as you called his name. But you couldn’t, you couldn’t even find the man attached to the voice anymore so why make a fool and draw attention to yourself. No one took kindly to ghouls. So with a heavy heart, you pushed on, making it to the doorstep of Ma June’s shop when you heard him again. “50 caps? That’s just plain ridiculous. 30, take it or leave it” he bartered, making you turn around again, only this time you caught him. You spotted a man that was tall, around the same height as your husband, clad in a wild western style cowboy outfit. You thought it was familiar, from the hat all the way down to the boots, it reminded you of him but a lot of people out here in the wastes wore Wild West themed clothes, deeming themselves cowboys and cowgirls of the wild wastelands. You wished he would turn around, you needed to see his face, hell just his eyes would be enough to sate the curiosity that was eating away at you. You’d forever recognize those eyes, they were so unique, so him. So beneath the shade you stood, observing him from a distance to be safe. That was until Ma June saw you standing there through the window of her shop, and she had a job for you that was important so she couldn’t wait for you to be done with whatever it was your were doing before she drug you inside. “What are you standin’ around out here for? I got a job for you!” She exclaimed, grabbing you and pulling you inside right as the man turned to walk away. You groaned in frustration as your only chance at an answer was stolen from you, but little did you know that your commotion made him stop to watch curiously as you went inside. Something about that dress you were wearing looked awful familiar to him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he just kept walking.

As the next couple of days passed by, the curiosity was absolutely eating away at your mind. You wondered if you were on the brink of going feral with how your thoughts were screaming that it could have been him. You wished she would have waited until you could have gotten a better look at him than just his back and his clothes, though they felt familiar, akin to something he would have worn on the set to his movies, you just couldn’t be sure. So you continued on, traveling with a random person’s head in your bag, wrapped up in an old T-shirt that was soaked through with blood now as you were on your way back from your bounty for Ma June. It was a particularly hot day outside, one of those days where no matter how much water drank, you just couldn’t keep the heat away or the dehydration at bay. So as you sucked down the last of your water in your canteen, you did your best to stave off the coughing fit that was bubbling in the back of your throat like a horrible itch you just could never scratch. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t enough, and seeing as you hit your inhaler for the last of your supply yesterday, you were shit out of luck. Damn it, you were so close too, you felt it. You couldn’t go like this, not without finding him, not without avenging your child and going after those Vault-Tec bastards that stole her and your husband from you. “Damn it!” You choked out as you clutched your chest, your coughing fit sending you to your knees in the sand where you laid in the hopes that it would let up sometime soon and you could continue moving. This couldn’t be the end for you, it just couldn’t be. You wouldn’t let it.

As you laid there, throat burning as you were hacking up your lungs, you saw a figure walking along the horizon in the distance. You wondered if maybe this was what they spoke of when people said their loved ones come and take them away right before they pass, or maybe it was just another hallucination, all you knew is that they were coming closer and closer to you. You reached for your gun with all the strength you could offer through your coughing fit and weakened state, unsure of whether they were a raider or someone with just plain ill intention. As they drew closer, you looked up to see another ghoul stabbing before you, his cowboy hat casting a slight shade over his face but even through the tears in your vision you could see his eyes. They were gorgeous, they looked just like how you remember your husband’s looked the last time you had a chance to look into them, making you look him over but it was so hard to tell. He was a man who had succumbed to the same fate you did, leathery skin, no nose, ruined ears, but his eyes…god they were so familiar. You saw him cock his head while looking at you, investigating your features, you could tell there was something about you that he was intrigued with.

“I feel your pain there, sister” he said, that southern drawl coming out sounding just like him, and god how it made your heart ache. He bent down to see you better, taking a better look at you. “I’ll be damned if somethin’ ‘bout you ain’t familiar though” he said, making you look up at him, and in that moment as he looked into your eyes, he could have sworn it was you, his long lost wife. He held hope it his heart, but it was a cruel world out here, he couldn’t be sure. “Your eyes, they look a lot like my wife’s did” he said, and you took that as your chance to see if it was really him. “C-Coo…per…?” You rasped out the best you could, needing to know if it was really him, needing to know if he was alive or if you were just going crazy. His eyes went wide for a moment before reaching for his gun, making your heart jump in your chest with anxiety. “How do you know my name?” He asked coldly, his eyes looking angrily upon you and it made your heart wrench in your chest but beat fast all the same to know it was him. “Tell me! How do you know my name?” He said angrily, making you raise your hands up to show you weren’t dangerous, you cursed your inability to speak properly or else you’d have answered his question already. “Be..cause…we were…Mar…ried” you rasped out once more, showing him your wedding ring that he bought you that rested on your ring finger, making him soften up for just a moment. “After two hundred years… could it really be?” he asked softly to himself in disbelief, but once again, he reminded himself that this world was a cruel place where people stoop to things lower than they ever did before. To him, you could have been anyone, maybe no more than a random stranger who pick pocketed that precious ring off of his wife, a total stranger playing as his beloved to get to his weakness. He pointed his gun at you once more, making tears come to your eyes even more now, had you said something wrong? Why was he mad at you? You hadn’t left on bad terms last you remember, but then again it’s hard to remember as far back as two centuries. “How do I know, huh?” He asked aggressively, and you figured it was a valid worry, you knew how awful this world was now, you couldn’t blame him for needing the reassurance. He needed to be sure it was truly you. “How do I know it’s really you?” He asked, waiting for you to stop coughing long enough to give him an answer. “What’s…that look…for?” You asked, something you always asked him when he stared at you in awe, or when he looked at you right before you two went to bed, it was like your signature phrase. You weakly removed the bandana covering your face, trying your best to show him any bit of your features left that you could use to show him it was really you. “It’s me…Coop. Y/N…” you rasped as saliva began to well in your mouth at the sight of him, slowly losing control over yourself as time passed. He’d never dropped his gun so fast, or fell to his knees so quick in his entire life than in that moment, the only other time was the moment he found out you were pregnant with his child, dropping to his knees to kiss your belly and place his hands on it excitedly. “Oh my god…Y/N” he said in utter shock and disbelief that you were here, you were alive. You were a ghoul now which hurt him to know you suffered the same pain as him, but you were alive and that’s what mattered most to him, finally having found you after all the years spent hoping you were still alive out here.

“Here baby, here, hold on. I gotchya” he said, quickly grabbing his inhaler with a vial of the chems you’d run out of last night, never needing it more than in this moment to keep you from turning feral on him. He pressed it to your lips, pushing the plunger on it to get the chems in your system. You inhaled it like a breath of fresh cool air, sending you coughing once more but that itch was slowly fading away, you could breathe again. You looked up at him as you laid there weakly, your head in his lap. “My hero” you said weakly, trying to be funny but he was too caught up in looking into your eyes, getting himself to believe what was right in front of him. “Two centuries I’ve spent looking for you…” you said, your eyes scanning him and his features to assure yourself too that this was real, that he really was sitting here before you, alive and well. Or as well as one could be as a ghoul in the wastelands. You smiled as you teared up, seeing the tears in his eyes as he looked down at you, pulling you up and into a hug. “Oh god…I can’t believe you’re alive” he said, hugging you tight and you did the same, burying your face into his shoulder. “I could say the same to you. I always knew you were stubborn, too stubborn to go out the way the rest of the world did” you said, making him chuckle as stray tears ran down your marred cheeks. “I’ve been dreaming of this day…dreaming of the day I’d get to see you and B/N again…” he said, making you grip his duster as the tears flooded down your face even more when he said your baby girl’s name. “Cooper…” you said, making him pull away from you but you weren’t far, he made sure of it. “She…she didn’t make it, honey…I’m so sorry. I tried everything, believe me I did, but it was too late…” you said, making his heart absolutely break in his chest knowing his baby was gone and that he would never have the chance to see her again.

“What was she like? She was so young when it all happened” He asked, holding your hands in his as you two shared in this moment together. You smiled as your hand cupped his cheek softly, your thumb rubbing along his skin that shared the same texture as your own. “Just like her daddy. She had your gorgeous eyes, your beautiful smile and that same stubborn attitude” you said through a laugh, making him chuckle with you as his hand came to hold the back of yours as it touched him. He missed your loving touch, and that beautiful smile that he swore could light up even the darkest rooms. He could hardly believe that you’d still even touch or speak to him now, with the way he looked. He knew you likely held a sympathy for it, knowing all too well yourself what it was like but the fact that you weren’t scared or hateful like others were towards him for it. “She was smart, funny, kind…she was daddy’s baby girl. You’d have loved that about her. It was like a little slice of you was there in her, keeping me going. She gave me hope when it felt like there wasn’t any left in this world to hold onto” you said, seeing a few stray tears stream down his cheeks as you spoke of her. His stomach was in knots, his heart filled with anger and pain to know the wastelands claimed one of his own. “I wish I coulda been there, for both of you. Maybe she’d be here if I was” he said somberly, guilt lacing his tone as he leaned his forehead against yours, not caring if your hats would come off. He needed this, he needed you. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for what happened, you had nothing to do with it. It’s those vile people at Vault-Tec who did this. They took our baby, not you. Don’t you ever think this is your fault” you assured him, holding him close to you as he expressed the most emotion he’s felt in nigh on two centuries.

“We made it pretty good all things considered, held our own well for ten years. I taught her how to use a gun when she turned eight to keep her safe should anything happen to me, did everything in my power to keep her safe, fed and hydrated even on the hard days where supplies were sparse” you explained. “The radiation just became too much for her little body to handle. She was ten years old, I could hardly believe it. It was like I woke up one day and she wasn’t a baby anymore, our little girl had just grown up so fast” you said, remembering those days as tears clouded your vision, streaming down your cheeks like small rivers, watching the droplets fall into the sand beneath you. “I’m sorry Cooper, I’m so sorry…” you apologized, making him hold you tight and hush you as you did. “I shoulda been better…if I was better maybe she’d still be here now” you said, taking the blame for something you knew you had no control over, but it left you guilty all the same. “Shh, don’t go thinkin’ like that. I’d say from the sounds of it, ya did a damn fine job managin’ that long out in this shit hole just the two of you. You always were a great mom, and an equally great wife” he said, making you sniffle as you smiled at him at that reassurance. “I did all I could, there was hell to pay for anyone who stood in my way, that’s for sure” you said, making him chuckle because that was exactly how you were before the war too. You always wanted what was best for your family, and you were willing to go great lengths to keep your husband and child happy. “I know you said you been lookin’ for me for a long time…but I ain’t the same man I was back then” he started. “But I got a feelin’ you ain’t exactly the same woman anymore either, so maybe we can still work this out, you and me” he said, making you chuckle. “No, I’m not. And if that means you don’t love me anymore I-“ you spoke but you were cut off by the feel of his lips against your own. They were thinner now, dry and marred by radiation just like yours were, but you could still feel the passion behind it, the love in it. No amount of radiation could ever take that away. “You lettin’ all the radiation get to that brain of yours? Of course I still love you. I lost ya once, I ain’t losin’ you again, that’s for damn sure” he said, making you laugh as more tears fell, only these ones were happier ones now. You squeezed his hand that was in your own as your heart raced in your chest. “You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear, Coop” you replied, kissing him once more with all the passion two hundred years of separation could hold behind it. “I love you, and I’ve missed you so damn much” you said, pressing your foreheads together once more as you fought the tears that began to turn into a sob. “I love you too darlin’, missed you like crazy. The world ain’t been the same without you” he said, making you sniffle as you felt the same way. “And if you’ll still have me, I’d like to make that a world of the past” he added, making you chuckle tearfully. “Of course I will” you said, allowing his heart to rest assured that you were still his girl, making him smile as he looked down at you, his thumb rubbing along your cheek to wipe away your tears.

You smiled back up at him, your hand coming to the back of his as you remembered the moment from your birthday again all those years ago, slow dancing in the kitchen with him. “What’s that look for, hmm?”You asked, just like you did that day, making him grin as he thought of the right words to say. “Nothin’ just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful person on this earth” he replied, making you chuckle. It was just what you’d been needing to hear all this time. “And how lucky I am to have her back in my arms where she belongs” he added, making you giggle before kissing you once more. Desert be damned, Cooper had his wife back after so long spent searching for her, and he was going to make damn sure she knew how much he missed her all these years.

#cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #fallout #fallout x reader #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #asks #request

[toriangeli]

One of my favorite things about how Anne Rice writes historical fiction: she doesn't sugar-coat her characters.

As in, there was never going to be any way all these vampires going back 6000 years were going to align with modern sensibilities. They're not savory. They suck.

First off, any male of status from before the Great Depression probably did, in fact, look at an underage girl and think, "she LOOKS like she could grow up cute and interesting, but do I want to wait to ask her dad and risk someone else calling dibs in the meantime?"

Lestat: Killed majestic, beautiful animals that were only trying to feed themselves. To save the lives of people who were counting on him, yeah, but still.

Marius: Literally from ancient Rome, lots of ideals from that time, pederastic relationship with Armand, see above disclaimer about males from prior to the Great Depression.

Armand, Santino, most of the de Landens: I do feel like the Children of Darkness/Satan wouldn't have been founded in our time, as evidenced by Lestat so easily disbanding them with basic Enlightenment talking points, so I think it counts.

Louis: LITERALLY OWNED SLAVES. And not in a bullshit "but I treat them so nice and they'd just be owned by someone mean if not for me!" way, he legit believed this was what black people were for. Until he became a vampire and all humans looked equal(ly foodlike) to him.

Gabrielle: Let other people raise her kids while she became a library hermit.

Maharet and Mekare: Cannibals. Oh, sorry. Respectful cannibals.

Khayman: Nnnot even gonna be sarcastic about this one. He was as much a victim of it as Maharet and Mekare, hence them not blaming him in the slightest. But people today would be put on trial for following an order like that one, so I figure it belongs here.

Daniel: idk probably unprotected gay sex. It was the 70's.

Claudia: Gets a pass. She was five. All the bad shit she does is unrelated to her time.

Mael: Helped keep a vampire captive for years, then proceeded to kidnap someone and force them to become a vampire, all because "idk we're kooky druids and it's our religion."

Everard: Laughs at Benedict for being kidnapped and having his blood stolen. Victim-blaming at its finest.

Akasha and Enkil: I mean, we know what they did, but everyone hated them in their own time, too, so.

Eudoxia: Jesus Christ.

Davis: HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG EVER IN HIS LIFE. /protects him forever #theonlyinnocentvampireprobably

And you know what? I'd take the worst of these over Bill Compton, Damon Salvatore, or Whassisface Cullen fighting for the Confederacy because "the greater good." Like bro. At least the dickheads above are being honest about it and we can judge those parts of them appropriately. You're trying to make us think you were doing something honorable by being vague. We know what you were really fighting for, and so do you.

Moral of the story: If you're gonna be evil, trying to be sneaky about it only makes it worse.

#the vampire chronicles #tvc #lestat de lioncourt #marius de romanus #armand #louis de pointe du lac #gabrielle de lioncourt #claudia de pointe du lac #mael #maharet #mekare #khayman #daniel molloy #everard de landen #santino #akasha #enkil #i do not remember davis' last name but he is precious #precious i tell you #allesandra de landen #eleni de landen #eugenie de landen #was that it for the cultist de landens? #i haven't gotten far into pandora yet but i'm sure there's shit there too #saving it to read on my flight next month #eudoxia

[panikkar]

see okay on one hand i was not expecting buck to go bi tonight but on the other hand i was thinking that abc was gonna add some queerness to 911!!! maybe i’m biased bc i watched greys anatomy but especially in that show they’ve never been shy about writing queer stories! they literally introduced a bi character back in 2009. and not in like a “she’s bi and she’s gonna date one (1) woman and then never talk about it again” way it was straight up like “hey this character is gonna have serious queer relationships and then they’ll both have their own storylines and identities and then we’re gonna create a web of fictional queer doctors in this show and even have several different queer relationships at once and not just a few that all date each other” when literally the bar for the time wasn’t just low it literally didn’t exist. idk. anyways abc shows are for the queers!!!

#btw sara ramirez i love you <3 #(they literally jump started it all by suggesting to the showrunner that their character be bi and i will forever love them for that) #listen i could write an essay about how queer greys anatomy is and how they just fuckin blew expectations for queer rep out of the water #and way past that and how they’ve actually used their platform as a literal tv icon to show tons of different representations but i’ve found #that most ppls eyes glaze over real quick #911 #911 abc #buddie #911 spoilers

[distant-screaming]

So @akaane000 and I were discussing something and akkayan came up - specifically, the sun/moon interpretations and the different ways they can be looked at. In my writing, I've often written them as not sun/moon but more like both of them being the eclipse, hence show name.

Varsha had a fascinating take on it:

I would pin ayan as the sun and akk as the moon. sure, the story seems to be revolving around akk because he's in the center of it all, but in reality, the story revolves around ayan and his grief and akk simply becomes part of the system that's been going round and round for a while now. also, akk is the head of the prefects but no one really relies on him personally uk? he's always seen alone, performing his duties in solidarity, caring for everyone around him and not knowing how to handle that pressure. but ayan, he's always surrounded by people, people rely on him, come to him for advice - he's like the leading light, and soon ends up being that for akk too, though ayan seems to believe more that akk is the one leading him out of darkness.

[...] and that's fair. akk is the moon and he shines brighter when his sun (ayan) is next to him. maybe bright enough for ayan to only be able to see akk's light and not his own and that's why akk helps ayan too, telling him how important he is. the moon can never really see its own light , having been working from the shadows for too long and that's where ayan comes in, showing akk that he's everything wonderful and that he matters

But also, a point could be made that Aye is the moon because he has so many 'stars' surrounding him, whereas Akk is the sun because no one else gets close to him and he seems to be untouchable, of sorts. Also, in the frame of Suppalo, Akk is the sun - seemingly bright and unreachable, burning anyone who comes too close. He's strict and angry as a facade, and he's also genuinely full of a fire and energy that's made him who he is (we learn that when Akk first came to Suppalo, he often got into fights which... yeah). Also also, Akk's arson charges is a very in your face reasoning, but it's there. Plus it also reflects how Akk is the one who warms up Aye's grieving, broken heart.

On the other hand, Aye is much more calmer - at least, on the surface. His presence in the story, and in Akk's life, is like the moon - gibbous at first and slowly growing until he's bright and proud, a full moon at its best. The moon also has romantic connotations ie romance under the night sky and 'the moon is beautiful today' - which is very Ayecore, I think. He reflects back Akk's light, shows him that he's bright in his own right.

I'd love to know - what's the general consensus on the topic? 🌙 🔆

#I could talk about them literally forever akfksjf I had to cut the text short #I tend to write them both interchangeably but my favorite is using them as both being the eclipse itself #kan and thua are more the sun/moon couple #but that's a whole different tangent #the eclipse the series #eclipse the series #the eclipse series #akkayan #akkaye #varsha beloved #distant screaming screams into the void

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

trying to write this essay while maintaining at least a facade of academic objective voice is ridiculous, actually

#i give up at this point anyone who would write an essay on this has to be stupidly into it #so what if you can tell i have a parasocial attachment to pete wentz #Lu rambles #lftos essay #literally trying to write this is like. how many words can i get away with spending on the details of what the fandom largely refers to as #‘’the best buy incident’’ and should i just quote the fob forever piece which already explained it more effectively than i ever could #like. idk. maybe i’ll cite it anyway but also do my own explanation for background on hum?? #also i need someone who isn’t into fob and who doesn’t know anything about them to beta this like i have a couple of paragraphs #that idk if they would make sense to someone who doesn’t have all the context i do #so… i’m thinking on it. i won’t let my mom near this one though lol #maybe my sister in law?? #idk anyway just spitballing

[lesbiangiratina]

Not very fond of people like waving off testament’s gender as just a Gear Thing but well at least it becomes funny when people apply it to gears as a whole. Like yeah i can agree with that. It has nothing to do with being a gear tho theyre all just transgender

#okay ill talk about it seriously down here #it does feel like the original intent behind their androgyny was to kind of Other them from humanity #daisuke saying theyve transcended humanity / talking about their ‘inhuman beauty’ #i dont want to call it dehumanizing since theres like. a weird positive (…i guess) angle of them being ‘above’ humanity #thats just kind of a trope though. like nonhuman characters without a human concept of gender or sexuality. yknow #but anyway strive didnt really go back on this. they kinda made it a part of their arc? #i think dev backyard says that theyve ‘lived without the concept of gender’ since being turned into a gear #but theres no disconnect from humanity that goes along with that anymore #i like the implication that reconciling with humanity and more importantly their OWN humanity coincided with their presumable transition! #alright now for the part of this i dont like. its weird to assume the gear conversion had some effect on their body and THATS why theyre nb #i think any implications of that are vague enough to be dismissed #i wouldnt even call them Implications its like. messy (and contradictory!) early 2000s phrasing and a theory about 1 line of dialogue lol #early fandom stuff im aware of but dont know enough to talk about aside. nowadays its just used to like #excuse their androgyny. by gamers who cant just. believe that theyre nonbinary because they want to be. lol #not because of anything that was done to their body against their will. or even more simply because theyre just a gear and are Above gender #literally theyre just nonbinary. isnt that cool. i wish everyone could agree this is cool and end the discussion there. #except for me. i can discuss it all i want forever. because im the understander. #whatever. at least the section of testament’s wiki page theorizing about their genitalia is gone now. kissaroo for whoever took that off. #I NEED TO WRITE UP THAT TIMELINE IM LITERALLY NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY IM AUTISTIC ABOUT TESTAMENT’S GENDER. CLEARLY #the kat goes meow #gg

[dallonwrites]

I'm reading Real Life by Brandon Taylor right now (love btw) and it's basically showing me in real time what I've thought about prose for a while as someone who mainly learnt from writing "flowery prose"

Brandon is really good at having this smooth, precise prose that I think really works with the type of book Real Life is ("slow" plot, only covers a few days and really sinks its teeth into small moments about relationships across those few days). But I think he's also really good at knowing when to go deeper with the prose and when to keep it simple. Like there's this part that sticks out to me because there's a line that literally is like "the grass is very green and very straight" and all I can think about is how in a lot of writing advice I've encountered about prose and descriptive writing, that would be used as what not to do. That you should use something more "interesting" than something like "very green". But in this scene it worked really well for me because it fit! IMO it suited the rhythm of the scene, the vibe, what the focus was on, the narrator's character voice. The scene already had a lot of atmosphere, emotion, conflict, urgency etc. and this line still effectively added to it in a way that was quick and simple that suited the rhythm/beats. It's not just that Brandon chose not to be descriptive then, it's that what he chose to do what JUST AS if not MORE effective for the moment!

And like I LOVE playing and experimenting with language and prose I think it's so fun. I think a lot of the advice about prose and descriptive writing, things like show don't tell and advice about adjectives/adverbs and using "too simple" words, words like "very", are great introductory tools to intentionally think about exploring your prose deeper. But like all writing advice they will not apply to every writing situation. These advice and craft ideas are important but what's imo more important is understanding when and how to use them to best benefit a moment. Knowing when prose will benefit from being more intricate and descriptive and when something simple and bare will not only do the job but do it more effectively. And it doesn't just vary from writer to writer or from story to story, but scene to scene imo! Brandon has some beautiful descriptive lines in this novel that to me are not inherently "better" than the very green line just because they are more complex, both do what they need to do and are effective in their own moments

And this is all stuff I already felt. I have projects that benefit from really saturated, dense prose and others that benefit from really sparse prose. But seeing an author who I admire a lot use these "simple" descriptions and not just use them, but use them well, because he has thought about what moments will benefit from simplicity and what won't, was really reassuring. Writers trust yourselves!! You know your prose, your voice, your book, and you are allowed to do what others may consider "breaking" the rules if it feels like the right move for your writing

#this isnt an advice post btw it is just me infodumping. ive been thinking about this line for days #i also don't think it's breaking the rules i don't think there are rules to writing. just advice and theory #im very particular about the semantics of it all i think rules is a dumb way to categorise writing advice and craft theory #“you learn the rules so you know how to break them” WHY ARE THEY RULES IN THE FIRST PLACE! THIS IS AN ARTFORM! #as the artist it is up to YOU what you consider 'rules' that you choose to follow and when. you know what benefits your art and your goals #all of this to say writing advice is literally just that. it is advice. it's up to you what to do with it #like if there's writing rules who came up with them? who did we give authority to come up with writing rules? what are their origins? #also i put flowery in quotation marks because i kind of reject that term too now personally I COULD INFOUDMP ABOUT PROSE FOREVER BTW #especially coming from the litfic scene which personally i hate the definitions of litfic that are prose centered #in a way to make it seem like the prose in litfic is more complex/intricate than it could ever be in genre fic #but that's for another time!!! real litfic girlies (gender netural) hate the way people use litfic for a sense of superiority

[junosmindpalace]

If i think too hard about Chuuya being a dog lover i’ll start crying

#Why don’t more people talk about it… #i need to know his favorite breed NOW #literally writing a fic about the sheep taking in a bunch of stray dogs and that’s how chuuya develops a deep love for them #He always had treats on him when he was a teen #Dazai always makes fun of him for smelling like a dog then he finds out he has like five #I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOREVER #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd hcs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs headcanons

[m0e-ru]

izanami is such a fucking asshole with Marie that she says—she's TOLD—she's a "spy" on humanity. a little fucking prick decided by the same bitch that lied to her face like it was breathing. I mean, you can't say iznmi's wrong right now because they know that you kept her alive. Which meant they were there at her tomb (BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE TO PERSONALLY CLOSE HER CASKET). BUT this fucking bastard laughs when they notice for the first time that you have the comb. the comb they should be full aware of where it's going, which hands it's being passed to—IF THEY WERE AWARE IN THE FIRST PLACE. if they actually USED Marie as the spy she was made to believe she is. She's the perfect vessel, the perfect walking nanny cam for Inaba, but NO. the ONLY time izanami has ever seen through her was in her tomb. has ever used her. has ever possessed her. in the realm definitely not for humans. the world they were born in and not an external factor to the nature of their birth.

BITCH gives a poor girl, dressed up as the representation of personality and rebellion and her poet aspect showing her loneliness and isolation, a false sense of purpose right when she was born. that she's just a trashcan for fog with a tomb adorned in flowers and memories at its dumpsite. that she was there to watch people and walk around the human world to remember nothing and be remembered by nobody. if yaldaboath can kick an old man out of his stupid blue office, what more than izanami using a child as a periscope in their guinea pig's dreambase of operations and understand the power of Persona and Truth and Bonds and counteract these meddling kids' and their Power of Friendship in stopping the formation of the New World where they can grant the majority's wish to live in lies and their stupid shitfuck fog.

not that I'm saying I do want god to make full use of their powers and have a better advantage at rigging their social experiment that already concluded by this point but like. fucking asshole didn't even need Marie. so why. put her through so much unnecessary grief. why not dispose her form the start when she'd be thrown away in the end anyway. why make her go through this field trip to remember the home she loves and protects if she could only remember.

why make her suffer through this humanity both of you were supposed to have. make her believe she's nothing and have her put herself to sleep quietly pushing away all the people she loves and who love her when you'll just make fun of her entire existence. did you do this to laugh? were the humans you born from give you the template to make people who search for the truth suffer? that anyone thinking of protecting these selfish masses should just die? that developing humanity is a bad thing? that that's your humor? could you not kill her yourself? was this only for your entertainment? a sick representation of the people who gave birth to you truly are?

#// this some kind of fuck you baltimore kind of shit sorry something happened to me #persona 4 spoilers #persona 5 spoilers #p4 #marie persona #izanami persona #⛽️🌫 #sulululat #pagsususuri #// actually no I'm NOT sorry I am izanami hater no 1 marie lover forever goodness gracious #// wrapping my head around iznmis motives for years until I'm sick in the stomach because I HATE THEM and I'M SO MAD #// iznmi is such a puppet to me shes so hollow I literally don't know how else to describe it so concisely #// rise was right this bitch has no heart. maybe because of the shitty writing or whatever. #// like you can cut them from their marionette strings or take out their battery to power off and it's just like that #// iznmi is Nothingness but also everything at the same time. a face and voice for the collective that gave birth to them because they're #// humanity itself. they have no substance or 'self' because they're a representation of a collection of egos without their own being #// the only 'personality' you'll get from iznmi is just a representation of this concentrate of human unconsciousnesses and #// iznmi is just some sort of front. gesturing my hands right now ive been thinking about this for YEARS #// marie grew her own ego she cultivated it and took good care of it with friends she could trust and love with the heart she has #// she's 'marie' and it's just so solid and Real to me #// it would make sense that iznmi is gone because they're Nothing to begin with. #// if anything I'd give iznmi the best actor award if you're going to ask me anything #// okay yeah hatership won but so did the sleepies goodnight guys sorry for the yaoi here's my defense

[pangyham]

ah god, ive been so Unpilled lately hm... it's interesting how offline ive been lately its hard for me to sustain a fandomized interest for a long time hahaha

but im getting back into the chongyun agenda.... i fear mingyun(chongming? gayun?) is taking over my #1 g3nshin ship... not that i have a lot. really i only care about chongyun. but Lord....

#im still torn about which ship name to use for them HAHAHA #i like the sound of mingyun because of “yun”. cloud #gayun is also cute #chongming seems to be the more popular one?? #but ANYWAY i actually have a semi complete unrequited xingyun comic implied chongming coming up. LORD #guh i could talk about unrequited xingyun forever... also i incorporated one of my favorite xq hcs into that comic that ill talk about in th #the tags once i post it #me going yea i like xingyun if it's unrequited (they're both my favorite characters) #( i could literally write pages about xingqiu)

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

#purrs #delete later #idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every #single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional #needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t #those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t #this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone #but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o #course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and #i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved #mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or #whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a #week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be #writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all #the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality #is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents. #and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments #where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them #comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so #painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i #haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that #kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im #crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i #missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever. #and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read #the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are #closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom #to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess. #also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and #that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk

[alltimefail-sims]

I found your blog from 1 of your look books and ended up reading every ask for your story tag ... I was so impressed by each character but I got to know more about Maggie! Pls don't take it the wrong way when I say I some how hate her & also am obsessed with her (I know people get mad when you dislike a character but I think it's a compliment bc it means the writer made them complex)

First and foremost: thank you, friend!! That means a lot to me that you took the time to binge through my content and that you ended up enjoying it so much that you would stop by to tell me!!!

Second, I truly don't take it the wrong way lol. I get it, not every character is going to be liked or perceived well. You have a right to feel about them however you feel.**

**Little footnote here: I think it goes without saying but so long as your reason for disliking them isn't rooted in some kind of irrational hate like racism, transphobia/homophobia, etc., you're fine in my book!

Honestly I'm just interested in knowing what it is you dislike about her! It's a little funny because this isn't actually the first message I've received of this nature and I feel like I've shared so little about her. I know as time goes on and people learn more about her that she is more than likely going to be a controversial and polarizing figure (and far from the only one in this story). I personally have a lot of love and empathy for her as the writer and do see her more as a victim to things out of her control, but I can also admit that she went out of her way to make it hard for others to love her at times.

I will totally take it as a compliment, as you intended! I'm happy to create characters that challenge people; my only hope is that despite personal preferences, readers will still be able to understand that at the end of the day we all are imperfect and nuanced creates. Even if you don't like her, I hope you will see her (and the other controversial characters) in more than one light and extend grace (or at the very least, understanding) when it's all said and done!

#Gosh I could go on forever about this topic. I know simblr isn't always the medium for these 'darker' stories or character arcs - #I get reminded of that constantly when I get an ask about making Erwin 'depressed' or 'changing his goofy character too much' (even though #he literally has traits that indicate he's not just some uwu goofy happy idiot but I digress) - #but these characters mean so much to me. Erwin & Maggie are truly so personal to me. They make me the most emotional to write for...reasons #I hope even characters like Ted - who I write with the intention of being an antagonist - will be viewed in a nuanced light. I want people #to feel complicated feelings for them. Humans are big fucking ethical dilemmas lmao and I want to show that #Thank you so much for your ask!! <3 #strangerville outtakes #Maggie Pries #atfs ask #anon

[mosstrades]

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#I hate spending money I hate spending money I hate spending money I hate spending money I hate spending money #buying stuff for university with the money I'm being given by the state to finance my education. monstrous #i just wanna hoard it forever in case of emergency but nooo i have to use it for its intended purpose. fuck me #[muffled scream into hands] #i could never have a shopping addiction I'm getting palpitations at spending 130E on books I explicitly need #and tbf could i get them at the library and i DID whittle down the list and will just get some at the library #but i work unthinkably better when i can write on them #so add THAT to the guilt #vent post #economic anxiety cw #nick.txt #'nicholas are you literally complaining about having money' yes and i deserve to be killed for it. are you offering #'what practical use is for these books is it even worth the money? am i even gonna read them? we're not even getting tested on them. why #should i read these?' #girl youre literally enrolled in a philosophy major. why do you do anything. to learn. give yourself the chance to learn the way #you have access to. come on #i gotta be kinder to myself my god #anyway sorry for the tumblr tag dialectics im having such a time about this very simple purchase. it literally set me back on a month of #coursework bc ive gotten so disquieted every time i looked at my basket in the secondhand book website lmao #(through gritted teeth) ask not what men deserve #(can you believe my teacher looked me straight in the eye and listed 40 books i should read. for a single semester.)