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fareehaandspaniards · 6 months

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Damian headcanons

I need to put everything I have about him in one place! So let's begin.

First of all, he is a VERSATILE, MULTIGRANEOUS person, as the CANON shows us! (I swear it shows us)

*simping sounds*

His childhood. Damian comes from a big family, as it seems to me, and is not distinguished by noble blood. His desire to care for others began while he was a child growing up within the walls of his family’s noisy house. He was one of the eldest children (and had like 8 siblings. But not all of them survived in the end). And while his older brother and sister were firstly jealous of their younger siblings and then simply lost their feelings for both parents and siblings as they plunged into adulthood, Damian tried to take care of everyone - older siblings and younger, and the parents. I won't say that love reigned in his family. Rather, his sensitivity and care was seen as a flaw, and given that I see his parents as exceptionally practical and cynical people - I don't think anyone could understand Damian. Perhaps his mom sometimes did. (I should add that often if a child grows up neglected and left to themselves, they unconsciously putting themselves in opposition to surroundings. And it doesn't always lead to good things! But in Damian's case - he grew up to be a decent person) I also headcanon that one of his younger brothers, who died of an illness while still young, was very much like Micolash. Which was the beginning of their contact – in Byrgenwerth Damian noticed a young student with a thin, smiling face and black curls, and his heart ached with painful memories. There was the first desire to get to know him better, perhaps to help him in some way (Micolash had always been VERY thin, even skeleton-like, and I believe Damian was sincerely trying to "fatten" him up). But that was all back when Damian was watching him from afar.

Youth. Damian got into Byrgenwerth, partly because he showed promise by being well-read and educated and also had a passion for medicine, partly because one of his wealthier relatives (let it be his uncle, so often happens in romantic novels! Rich uncle appears out of nowhere xd) funded his enrollment, because I headcanon that Byrgenwerth is too elite a place to get in without money. But there were also situations where someone got in thanks to the help of the faculty. I think Willem never belonged to the "self-serving" people and was happy to accept into his alma mater those who ACTUALLY had an aptitude for sciences and an extraordinary mind. So Damian studied at Byrgenwerth, long before all the events of the Fishing Hamlet. He was good at his studies, but didn't want to go back home after graduating. The medical field didn't pull him in either, because Damian was too afraid of making a mistake. Afraid of failing. He worked one year in a Yharnam hospital where he learned the basics of patient care (I won't specify what his specialty was. I'll put it down to Victorian England and experimental medicine in general) Saw indifference, deaths, despair. For a doctor he loved people too much, burning out his heart when something was wrong. So he went back to Byrgenwerth. And Willem found him a position as an archivist with assistant functions. Damian had proven himself during his studies, so Willem entrusted him with the library section, documenting his own research papers and keeping his office in order. And by the time Micolash/Laurence/Rom/Yurie and etc got there, Damian was a grown man. (I believe the time of apprenticeship at the Byrgenwerth is from about 18 to 23-25. And when Micolash was 18, Damian was 28 or so)

Research Hall era. I picked up Katy's headcanon about Micolash working as a doctor there and doing bad things in an attempt to connect with Kos, and Rom being a patient. Since almost all of Byrgenwerth's students and staff moved to the Church (the most qualified and trusted), many characters ended up there one way or another. Damian also tried to start work there, but he couldn't. He couldn't be a doctor or even assistant. So he found another job and became one of the first Tomb Prospectors under Ludwig's leadership (Also helping sometimes to protect important persons of the Church and Research Hall). Along with Gremia, Olek and others. This job was considered heretical by Damian’s relatives, because they lived on old ideas and religion, and desecrating ancient tombs is not good! But Damian still stayed in his place. He wanted to be closer to Micolash. And also the deadly work distracted him from his horrible thoughts and from what the man dear to his heart was doing (I believe most of the experiments on Adelina were Micolash's doing). Damian kept silent about everything he saw and knew because he couldn't betray the one he loved. And… He was too weak to override his affection. With all his humanity, Damian couldn't, and that was his vice. His path that he had chosen. Also while serving as a Tomb Prospector, he became very close to Gremia, which I will talk more about. Very often during expeditions Damian could die. And somewhere he was saved, and somewhere he demonstrated the skills of an assassin himself. Gradually, his will to live faded because of constant anxiety for Micolash, lots of secrets that he had from Damian and those awful things from Research Hall that Damian knew but couldn’t tell anyone. Damian became a semblance of his former self, giving all his feelings to Micolash, hiding his own, and no longer trying to protect himself when he was attacked by the dead of the catacombs, what made Gremia very angry.

The time between the Research Hall and the Choir. Oh, I'm going to single this snippet out as my favorite. It's probably one of the most important points of Damian's formation as a person. Micolash was then faced with a dilemma - he knew - what he was doing was wrong, that Damian could die every time he went for a mission to dungeons, that Micolash’s distance from him was slowly killing him. And he didn't want to lose him - Damian was the most loyal person to him, who also loved him. So Micolash decided to try to reveal all his secrets to Damian and explain his interest in Kos. He let him look into his already blue eyes, which had changed after seeing Kos. And Damian, too, beheld the Great One. But if Micolash saw in his dream an angry deity seeking revenge and grieving for his child, Damian saw the true embodiment of maternal love, a goddess from the depths, protecting women and children, a true idol of warmth and love. And that was what he had been missing all along! He had found his faith. And realized why Micolash was willing to do literally anything to find a way to Kos. After that vision, Damian changed - he became calmer, more confident, he decided what he wanted from life and what he would devote himself to. Even in his missions to the catacombs he became more cold-blooded, tougher, but at the same time even more caring than he had been - arcane magic became surprisingly easy for him, and he used everything to protect and defend his comrades.

Choir era. Again, I mention that I'm actively using Katya's vision of the timeline - it fell into my soul, especially regarding Rom and Micolash. So in my headcanons, Rom is the head of Choir (which fits her so muuuuuuch). When Damian and Gremia retrieve the Chalice of Isz from the depths of the dungeons that allowed to meet Ebraitas, the Choir was founded. Micolash becomes one of the first scientists of the new institution, but is very skeptical of everything. During this period, Damian loses the last strings of his connection with Rom, as she goes to Ebraitas and keeps in touch with her. He forms an amusing bond with Yurie (though the two knew each other since Byrgenwerth), as she feels about the same way about Rom as he does about Micolash. Yurie and Damian are interested in each other, but are too busy with their lovers to take each other seriously. However, some kind of connection between them remains, whether it's rivalry or mutual understanding. I don't think they have realized what it is!

The School of Mensis. When Micolash takes everything he needed from the Choir, he leaves. Damian doesn't hesitate to go after him, abandoning his service as a Tomb Prospector, which made Gremia angry. Many scientists follow Micolash. He and Damian manage to drag even Caryll with them, for whom there was a fight between Laurence and Micolash (and Caryll himself despised both of them lol). I have to say that I will never, ever believe that the only members of the School of Mensis are Damian and Micolash themselves as people like to say in the fandom! Really? Two people did ALL this amount of work? Took control of the village? Get a building for the School? Made a bunch of cages? Etc? Two people did all of this together??? Too much! So here we are. Damian became Micolash's right-hand man, which makes sense – he has been with him all his life. And I believe it was Damian that he left all the communication with the Yahar’gul elders, accepting new recruits (Hello, Edgar!), providing the School with food, water and all the necessities! (Damian started working as a manager. 7 days a week, 25 hours a day, salary - a kiss from Micolash, bonus - according to the situation y’know xD) Getting back to the serious narrative, I believe that in the School of Mensis Damian fully revealed his faith in Kos, and that's where his and Micolash's paths started to diverge. Katy mentioned that Micolash was the wrath of Kos. So I headcanon that Damian is her Love. If Micolash stubbornly went to his goal, not shunning cruelty, horrors, experiments and violence, Damian tried to minimize the victims, finding victims himself for Micolash’s experiments among the "scum" of Yahar’gul (I won't go into details about what kind of people they were. The worst kind, most likely. I trust Damian in his choice!), used force only where it was necessary, and saved the students of the School from the approaching madness. I'm sure there were a lot of recidivists and heretics among Micolash's followers, as well as the insane, so Damian had time to deal with them. He quickly gained a reputation as the "father" (or "mother") to all the students. (Even Edgar! I believe that after learning of Edgar's true origins, Damian did not try to eliminate him. Edgar was suffering too. And he felt sorry for him). Also, Damian invented the Mensis Cage. As a way to protect and keep Micolash safe.

The sunset of the School of Mensis. Caryll left back to the Church, feeling awful things to come. Micolash moved forward steadily. And gradually the children were drawn into his experiments.

Actually, Micolash started to go insane, but you couldn’t say that just seeing him or even knowing him as Damian knew. No, he changed in a term of his desire for knowledge and lost his last moral borders. He used kids and told to Damian his last project – to summon a Great One, using a cord and children, almost as Laurence did. Ritual could destroy almost erhh everything, and Micolash himself, but did Micolash really care? I don’t’ think so. He cared about mind more than about physical body and didn’t actually care about other people anymore, even a bit. (He is not evil despite all my telling. He just saw his goal too good. And couldn’t be stopped) This was the last straw for Damian. It was here that their conflict occurred, after which Damian left the School. Even though Micolash had changed a lot, losing his past self, it was still painful for him, even too much for his aching mind. So much so that he almost came to the state we find him in the game. He had literally lost his mind! And he was left without the only person he trusted (with his paranoia alone) and loved in his own way. Almost immediately afterward, Micolash throws all his energy into preparing for the Ritual. Yahar’gul people were dragged out of their houses, tied up and sent to "fuel" of Ritual by chaining them to chairs (including kids. Micolash used a trick to make them follow him using an arcane magic and voices from beyond that they could hear. So kids followed him «by their will» (no))

Damian was the one who reported everything to Rom, making his way to her through Choir and Yurie to try save Yharnam from Ritual, since Yahar’gul is already a lost cause. After that, the barrier sheltered Yahar’gul, hiding everything that had happened. (I didn’t mention how Edgar was left there, but it’s absolutely another topic, as I made a huge headcanon about it)

After a time, Damian returned to Yahar’gul. Almost nobody could do it, since Rom gave herself to shield Yahar’gul, but Damian had his way with some arcane tricks. He found what was left of the School of Mensis and found Edgar's corpse. As I wrote in the post about Eileen and Bloody Crow, Damian buried him, hoping his soul would find peace. And that's what helped Edgar finally TRULY die in Nightmare, which eased his suffering. Damian dared not do the same with Micolash’s corpse. Nor could he (Micolash wouldn’t like it as Damian knew) He wished to end all of Yharnam's suffering, so he helps the player all the way. But he couldn't raise a hand against someone who he loved. So all he did was light candles in the room where Micolash's body was left. And helped the player come to his goal. When the mummy of his dearest man stopped exuding sparks of soul presence, and the Nightmare was defeated by the Hunter, Damian was gone. I don't want to think how exactly, I've never considered suicide something romantic. But he died without waiting for the new dawn of Yharnam. After all, his purpose was fulfilled. And his love was waiting for him on the other side. (There is an interesting thought that Micolash is trapped within his dead body after Hunter defeats him. But I don’t like it. Micolash doesn’t need extra punishment. He is already punished by himself. He didn’t ascend and he knows it. He desperately calls to Kos and Great One of the sea doesn’t answer. He has lost everything already. I think he actually hates himself for a failure and for losing those who were dear to him. Maybe I am too romantic but even monsters have their own philosophy and feelings. Everybody needs love in their special way and Micolash is no exception. But he lost it. So let him rest in peace)

*cries*

Now I'll go through all the character relationships, charting them in more detail!

Micolash. Micolash in young age was a fairly innocent, but flighty young man, and quickly found an adventure during studying in Byrgenwerth, which Damian pulled him out of. That's how they met. (In detail, Micolash was trying to get the answers to an exam, but in addition to them he accidentally got the key to Willem's office. When he secretly got in there in the night, he was spotted by the local cleaning lady and Damian, the archivist. Damian covered Mico’s ass as he saw that all Micolash was interested in was not the Master's personal belongings, but his writings related to the exploration of the ancient catacombs. Micolash was so interested in Willem’s researches that sneaked in his cabinet just to READ. Such selflessness touched Damian, and he helped him out of the whole situation by taking the trouble to hide everything on himself). Gradually they grew closer, and Damian helped him in many ways on his life path, and Mikolash appreciated it very much, trying to respond in kind, but sincerely not understanding why so much kindness and affection for him. If we add the romantic side to it (hehehehe, well, I can't live without it), in my vision, Damian was a man that Micolash had his first time with, and with Laurence Mico had his first kiss, which happened on a bet, was very awkward and they didn't talk for a very long time afterwards (gay disaster). (Actually, I could write a separate post about who had a first kiss with who, what it was like and how it affected the formation of their personalities xD Forgive me for that!). All his life, Damian followed Micolash wherever he went, being his sort of "guardian angel", and Micolash trusted him with literally everything. Micolash was not the kind of person who would give all of himself to another. And often Micolash's behavior made Damian burn up, gave him headaches and tears at night. But our future mad scientist did his best to be better for Damian, scoping out a birthday present for him (and it was really hard, because Damian almost never talked about his own wishes), spending as much time with him as possible, and being affectionate (I believe Micolash is very tactile, so no matter how he feels about a person, he needs touch to express his emotions). I spike them so much that it's my personal canon, but that doesn't mean there aren't other pairings for me with Damian xdD

Damian: Babe you are about killing the entire town and yourself. Pls stop.

Micolash:

Rom. Their relationship has always been something of an oddity. They are both sympathetic, kind individuals. And Rom often found comfort during the Byrgenwerth years in Damian's hug. They never tried to cross the line and become something more, they had a sort of father-daughter bond. Rom may have liked him as a man, but Micolash quickly made it clear that this was his territory xD At one point Rom was the cause of intense jealousy on Micolash's part, and when he was jealous it was just awful (he was capable of almost anything). Although Damian did eventually make his choice towards Micolash, he and Rom maintained a good relationship and friendship. So in the days of Choir, as Rom grew up and became a strong medium and a confident woman, she and Damian found time to occasionally chat and exchange gossips. When Damian found his faith in Kos, they understood each other even better, for he too could Feel.

Caryll. Since Byrgenwerth, he's only made two friends - Damian and Rom. They (and Willem!!!) were the only ones who were unselfishly kind to him, and also never forgot his birthday. One day the two of them surprised him, preparing a gift, small cake, his favourite sweets and a tiny candle that they found specially for him. They made for him a really good evening just to make him a bit happier, which made Caryll cry then, a first time for him in years. As Caryll grew older, his visions and ability to read Runes became the most important discovery for the entire Church. So at one point, the fight for Caryll between Micolash and Laurence began. As I said, he couldn't stand them both! But Damian persuaded him to follow Micolash to the School of Mensis, for there he would find peace, quiet and solitude to continue his studies. So, on his own terms, Caryll ended up there, occasionally forcing Micolash to fulfill his little whims and chatting sweetly with Damian! In general, I believe that Caryll is an extremely caustic, witty and inventive person. So he often made Micolash do things he doesn't want to do - like carry him coffee xd And he had a strong friendship and respect with Damian. Just Caryll:

So he was always nice with Damian, call him «Damie» and asked him to move his wheelchair (as I headcanon that Caryll was stuck to his wheelchair since youth, then could stand due to healing blood and then used a wheelchair again because of his own decision not to use blood) around the room lol Caryll never understood why his friend would follow a madman and love him as well. And often made fun of it xd He left School of Mensis before the catastrophe, letting only Damian know about it and hoped that he will do the same.

Yurie. During the Byrgenwerth years, they were sort of rivals for Rom’s heart (according to Yurie. Damian didn't know that xdd), but when Yurie discovered that Damian's heart was occupied, she calmed down, and that also paved the way for a small friendship (of the two main simps. Brador was too far away back then to join them :^)). Damian was a librarian and archivist, as I said, and Yurie often visited him for advice or just to chat. She was always "grown up" compared to other students, and she was comfortable with Damian. I should also note that they could very well have been a couple. And would have been a great husband and wife together! But hard simping got in the way xd And to think, talking seriously… The range of emotions Yurie felt when Damian cames (albeit in the form of a phantom) to help the player with killing Rom can't be described in words.

Sir Gremia. I've recently discovered just HOW interesting is this character! I think their relationship started during the Tomb Prospectors years, when a blood mess was just beginning. And it started terribly well - their battle tactics were opposite, their outlook on life too. It was incredibly difficult for them to work together, with Gremia rushing forward and Damian waiting and attacking from afar. (they could help each other and complement, but they became sort of rivals – who is better) They both almost died like that if not one of other Tomb Prospectors who saved the two. It even came to a fight sometimes! They were basically like the cat and dog from the cartoons, which annoyed all others xD bitches be like:

When Damian changed after getting the vision, he became different, and now he was the one who was rescuing and pulling Gremia out of the clutches of death, which awakened Gremia's feelings. Gremia hid it, but he fell in love with Damian like the opposite of the opposite. Damian, on the other hand, was not only uninterested, but also extremely surprised. I headcanon Gremia as a VERY open, like "what I think is what I say" kind of person, so over time the arguments and fights turned into light flirting, teasing and compliments to Damian, which always went unrequited. (Actually, why not? The pairing is really good! And Gremia/Damian has taken up its place in my shipping heart. Their relationship could be something incredible, given Gremia's masculinity and Damian's masculine-feminine attitude and motherly care. I think Gremia would have seen him as a girl, generally having an interest more in women, and Damian would have had a hard time revealing his feminine side and his desire to BE protected rather than protect himself). When Damian quit the service, they severed their friendship and all that it had been. Gremia remained angry with him, for Damian had traded all their companionship of several years for Micolash, going into science rather than battle.

Laurence. Laurence and Damian rarely interacted openly (mostly Micolash was against it and prevented them from communicating in every possible way), but mutual respect was maintained by the one time when Damian stopped young Laurence and protected Rom from him (he punched him, when Laurence was too excited to leave her alone. Laurence was really angry back then, bur later realized that Damian did the right thing). Laurence would like to have someone as loyal as him by his side (I can just imagine him sitting at the window, like "I wish I had someone as loving and understanding!", and Brador in the background, "Am I a joke to you????", and you can hear Gehrman’s cursing from Hunter's Dream xD).

Eileen. They were good acquaintances, occasionally having a drink together. The thing that connected them was that they both dreamed of children, only Eileen had a little Crow, and Damian took care of the whole Mensis School and Micolash. A very warm, gentle understanding.

Edgar. I'm currently working on a fanfic on this topic! And rather than explain the whole biography of Edgar as I see it, I'll just say about him and Damian! I think Damian didn't immediately realize that the boy was a spy of Choir, it rather came to Micolash first. But by the time the truth was revealed, Damian had learned that Edgar was actually a child abandoned by everyone, forgotten by the Choir and surrounded by enemies, with no faith in heart. So do I headcanon that he "adopted" him? (You can go into the pairing here, and I like it, but I'm still more in favor of family relationship). Damian has finally found a pure soul, a child he can take care of. And that helped Edgar find himself, choose a path. But unfortunately, it didn't save him from his fate, because Mikolash ended up taking him for himself. Like a piece of property or even a toy. His and Damian's story together is a terribly sad one.....

Willem. Master of Byrgenwerth trusted Damian a lot, if only because he was an excellent judge of character and saw that he wouldn't deceive him even if he wanted to. Damian was his personal assistant, but no more, I mean Willem kept him away from his researches about the Great Ones until he decided to make public the information about what was found in Fishing Hamlet. Trust, respect, friendship, a little bit of everything. When Willem was alone in Byrgenwerth, and Damian and Yurie were around, Willem spoke to him. Only they were already incoherent sets of words that Damian couldn't understand.

Gehrman. Damian and Gehrman both befriended with the Byrgenwerth students, being noticeably older than them. Gehrman is not as sensitive, but is also very romantic like Damian, and I think they would have a lot in common. All in all, Micolash and Laurence could use them as their support while arguing xd I think that Damian could be a bit jealous that Gehrman has a young apprentice that adores him (and in my hc fell in love with her), because he also wanted someone who would adore him :^(

Maria. Maria would find him an interesting person I think, as in my hc she likes gentle and sensitive men, not only romantically but as good friends, because they are more comfortable to talk with. But in Research Hall era… Oh Kos, she could even try to kill him, and Damian couldn’t blame her for that. Damian was silent about Micolash and didn’t tell anyone, letting him to do everything he need with poor Adeline (I hc that Adeline didn’t mind because fell in love with Micolash BUT it’s another topic xd). Maria’s death was under a secret, that Laurence kept, and Damian knew too late, that she killed herself. Shock was awful.

Little headcanons!

- Damian loves citrus, and fruits and berries in general. His favorites are oranges and figs. Caravans from Loran could theoretically deliver some local goods to Yharnam once a month, and Damian would be a regular customer there!

- Damian creates coziness literally everywhere he finds himself. He loves luxury goods, a fireplace, beautiful kitchen appliances, jewelry looking like a rose and more!

- Micolash gave Damian his ring with the family monogram, all that was left from Micolash's mother. It was a gesture of trust and love, and also a small token for everyone else, because Micolash was extremely jealous. Mico be like (in any ship):

- Damian gave Edgar a sedative left with him in the Nightmare of Mensis.

- He and Gremia had crossed paths several times since Damian had left for the School of Mensis, and those encounters had not been pleasant! Damian had become too self-sufficient to feel guilty, and Gremia was still angry (but hinted that if the latter was suddenly alone, there was one willing to spend their last days together hdddd Sorryyyyyyy)

- When Micolash forgot that human like himself needs to wash, eat, and generally take a break from books, Damian would take care of it - shaving, cutting his hair, dressing him and so on.

Some local memes becuase iit is TOO funny. Imagine Gremia visiting therapist

Damian is a kind-hearted man, a gentle, warm person, in whose company almost anyone would enjoy being. He gave all of himself to Mikolash, and it almost killed him until he met Kos. After finding his goddess, Damian became stronger person. He began to appreciate and love himself. He became more solid in character. At the same time, his care became boundless, and he began to draw strength from it, rather than losing it by giving it to others. His weakness - his unending loyalty and his need for Micolash had played a cruel joke on him. His life could have been completely different - there were opportunities to be happy with someone else at every step, but he chose the path of his beloved. Damian had always dreamed of children. Wanted his own child, dreamed so much that he dreamed about it and woke up with tears on his eyes. Children in general were his greatest moral value. He had killed men and women, cut up flesh, experimented on his own while creating the Mensis Cage. But he could never do that to a child. Nor with Micolash, who had become both brother and child to him, and also lover – his only family. Perhaps he would have done more good for Yharnam if he had never met Micolash. But to give himself to him and spend his life that way was his complete choice (he could have been with any person around him! Almost everyone liked him!).

I didn't even think I would like him that much! xd But this is my favorite archetype. The protector, the guardian angel who gave all his good soul to one single person.

Thanks for reading whoever you are!! He became really important to me, my comfort character, so all my blah blah now here.

#mensis scholar damian #my art #bloodborne headcanons #LONGPOST #too many characters mentioned here I won't put in the tags them all #damicolash #My blorbo #How did he became my most fav? I didn't notice when it happened #Hope anyone who will read this will enjoy #gremia x damian #does this ship even exist??? does someone have fanart???

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