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jawnjendes · 4 years

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it’s always been you | shawn mendes

shawn x goth oc

forevermore 1/?

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist

masterlist | playlist (song added with every chapter)

One would be surprised to know the extent Annalise Flores would go to remain anonymous. She had a wig she wore specifically for work, and it wasn’t just to look professional. All of her social media is private, not that she surfs the web for leisure these days. Her own family doesn’t even know what she’s been up to these last few weeks. This is the life Annalise chose. Always reserved, always a mystery. She preferred it this way.

So when she got back together with her ex, it wasn’t exactly devastating to discover that she was not allowed to be seen with him in the public eye. Her ex-turned-current boyfriend is the world famous musician Shawn Mendes. They dated back in college prior to the fame, but that’s a different story. This is now.

Annalise was in between sessions at her Los Angeles counseling office, reviewing notes and waiting for the next client to arrive. It was a normal work day, she was at the halfway point, but not quite. It wasn’t lunchtime yet.

The phone rang, causing her to jump at the sound. She picked up and answered, hearing her assistant/secretary Mateo on the other line.

“Señora, tiene una entrega,” he said in a singsong voice.

“What did we say about señora?” she replied. “I feel old.”

He giggled. “So are you coming, or do I drink this coffee myself?”

Annalise perked up at the sound of coffee. “I’ll be right there.”

It’s not that it was a hot beverage. She never Postmated something she could simply go out and get herself. She smoothed out her black dress and went down the hallway, gazing at the waiting room on the way to the front desk, just in case anyone showed up early. That was a rare occurrence, what with the type of clientele she dealt with.

The delivery was exactly what Mateo had said, a cup of coffee from some obscure shop. The assistant was grinning excitedly, for this wasn’t the first time his employer had gotten a mystery drink with a note attached. Annalise knew he never read the notes she got, otherwise he would have flipped his shit long ago. Mateo wasn’t one to hide things like shock or excitement. He would learn though; He was still an intern.

Annalise took the cup and read the strip on the side of it. Decaf. Hvy cream. Sweetener. Yup, that’s the one. Then she opened the folded note that was tape to the cup.

See you tonight -Mr. M.

She hummed and slipped the note into her dress pocket. Looks like she has plans tonight.

“There’s also a man outside who wants to talk to you,” Mateo added. “He’s the one who brought the coffee.”

Annalise figured there would be more than just that silly little note. She went out the door and into the warm spring day, finding a familiar bald man sat on a nearby bench.

“Jake,” she greeted.

The man stood and smiled. “How you doing, Ann?”

“Good. Apparently I’m seeing him tonight? Has he lost his mind or something?”

“He says it’s important.”

“He and I have different definitions of the word important. But yeah, I’ll go. I assume you’ll be taking me again?” There was a bit of reluctance in her tone.

“That’s right. As soon as you’re done here.”

Anytime Annalise wanted to see her boyfriend, she couldn’t simply drive herself to his house whenever she pleased. The last time she saw Shawn was two months ago on Valentine’s Day, a day that he decided was important. Most days, they saw each other through FaceTime, Snapchat, text, even the coffee and notes became a regular form of communication.

It’s not like Annalise frequently keeps up with celebrity gossip, but she knew why it had to be this way, and honestly, she wasn’t mad about it. She had to sneak around with Shawn behind the scenes of his great big love story stunt, despite the fact that he wasn’t doing anything careerwise at the moment. It was more for the other person in this love story stunt than it was for him. Again, Annalise wasn’t mad about it.

Staying away from Shawn in public was fine, and that’s the truth. The world believed Shawn Mendes was dating Camila Cabello for the umpteenth time in his career. Well, some of the world believed that, and some was all that was needed. As long as Annalise didn’t get under that terrifying microscope, she was good.

Shawn was nervous for a multitude of reasons. The doorbell rang, and even though he checked the camera at the front door, he still felt knots in his stomach. He hasn’t seen this girl in a while. He was still surprised that she agreed to come all the way to sunny LA. This wasn’t her level of expertise, but she was experienced in law, so that was better than nothing. On top of that, Shawn didn’t trust anyone that was connected to Andrew, and most lawyers in this town seemed to know him. Shawn couldn’t risk any of this getting back to his team.

He answered the door to a petite woman with a jet black pixie cut. She had on dark sunglasses, and carried an umbrella. Ripped skinny jeans, a band t-shirt, and converse were her go-to. It was like she hadn’t changed clothes since the last time Shawn saw her. Dark as this girl looked, her greeting was like sunshine.

“Helloooo!” She dramatically threw her umbrella aside and opened her arms for a hug.

“Isabella,” Shawn greeted as he accepted her hug, minding the permanent chill of her body. “Thank you so much for coming.”

Oh, that’s okay,” she replied. She stepped inside the house and looked around the spacious area. “Damn, this ain’t no Canada. Also, how convenient that you live here and not your supposed home country.” She poked his chest with a grin.

Shawn chuckled. This girl genuinely did not believe Canada was a real place. “Tell you what, get me out of this contract, and I’ll send you on a vacation to Vancouver.”

Isabella took off her sunglasses, revealing red eyes. However she blinked a few times and they went back to brown.

“Who else is here?” she asked, placing her shoulder bag on the kitchen island. “I’m detecting Chanel Number Whatever.”

“Oh, that’s probably Camila,” Shawn replied, still thrown by how intuitive Isabella was. “She’s in the bathroom. And uh, Ann will be here soon.”

“Okay, so Camila’s the fake girlfriend, right?”

“Worse. They want us engaged.”

Isabella’s eyes widened. “We have a lot of work to do.”

Then, another voice sounded from the stairs. “Who’s here? I heard the doorbell ring.”

Shawn shared a look with Isabella. While she still looked human, there was that tiny shred of doubt. What if she had the words ‘vampire-witch’ tattooed on her forehead?

Finally, Camila entered the dining room/kitchen. She immediately spotted Isabella and went to introduce herself. Both girls were bubbly and enthusiastic, despite the serious circumstances. Shawn couldn’t help but feel a bit weird. He carried many secrets, but the biggest one had to be that he knew an actual vampire. That secret was just above the one about his relationship with Camila being a business arrangement. Could he really consider it a secret if his team was absolutely horrible at making that seem natural, and that the whole world figured it out years ago? Shawn and Camila were simply bound by contract.

That’s why Isabella Jayn Montgomery was hired.

Shawn checked the time on his phone. It was half past eight, Ann and Jake should be on their way. He shouldn’t have been so nervous about this. It’s not like Ann wouldn’t like the idea of not having to hide anymore… right?

“So you just decided that we were going to go public and not tell me?”

He didn’t really know what he was expecting. Not even five minutes had passed since Isabella, Camila, and Jake left, and Ann got right to it. She was polite through the whole discussion, listening to everything Isabella had to say, and asking questions every so often. But as it turns out, she had her own bone to pick.

Shawn was putting the empty water glasses in the kitchen sink, surprised by his girlfriend’s serious tone. “I thought that was something we wanted?”

“You wanted that,” Ann corrected, sitting at the island. “Look, if you want to stop fake dating Camila, that’s fine, I support that. If you wanna go back to making music for your fans and go back on tour, I support that too. Whatever you wanna do with your career is your decision. But when it comes to our relationship, I get a say too. And I don’t want my privacy taken away.”

“Well…” he trailed off, leaning against the counter. “Just because I get out of my contract doesn’t mean you and I have to go and make out in the middle of the street. It would just be more believable if we were seen out in public together. It would show mine and Camila’s teams that we’re not taking their shit anymore.”

Ann chuckled. “Yeah, I’m not here to be a pawn in a game of publicity chess.”

Shawn sighed and walked around the counter, holding his hands out to her. “They want me and Camila to be engaged, and then have a huge wedding covered by all the major media outlets. I don’t want my life playing out this way anymore.”

She kept her arms folded. “A fake wedding is where you draw the line? Really?”

“If I’m gonna have a wedding, it’s gonna be with you,” he told her.

That particular topic wasn’t new information. Shawn and Ann had talked about marriage in the past and when would be the right time. How their cultures and subcultures were going to come into play. How they would go about it with all this Shawmila nonsense. That’s why Ann remained serious.

“Weddings are clearly not a big deal if these business people are willing to just throw a fake one together. I’m sure your fake girlfriend will look beautiful in a stupid white gown.” She rolled her eyes.

“I wanna see my real girlfriend in a stupid black gown,” Shawn corrected.

Ann cracked a small grin, but it faded quickly. She sucked in a breath as her face contorted.

“What? What is it?” Shawn asked, concern quickly replacing the building frustration.

She breathed out. “Nothing, just cramps.”

“Stomach cramps? Nausea? What did you eat?”

“Period cramps. I don’t get any of that often but when I do…”

You’re moody as hell and question everything I do, Shawn thought. Only a second later, guilt formed in his chest.

_______

goth gf taglist @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @strangerliaa @kitykatnumber @mendesromano @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @parkeraul @someoneunimportantxx @shawnvvmendes @calyumthomas @softmendesss @wronglanemendes @theprivatewritings @peruvian-bae

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #quarantine got me like...... imma write shawn #even tho its all but illegal to like him asfkghlkjslkjglkfsklahfshf #im not gettin into that im just here to creatively outlet or whatever #song: lover by taylor swift #yes its the one feat mawn shendes

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loveylangdon · 5 years

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What’s Clickbait again? pt. 3

Word count: 5.2k+

Shawn Mendes x Reader

Story Summary: You’re dating Shawn Mendes but was in a long term relationship with David Dobrik and met Shawn through a collab David was supposed to have with him. David is now collabing with Shawn finally and finds out you’re dating the pop sensation and doesn’t know what to do.

Authors note: thank you guys sooo much for reading this again it’s just been floating in my head and it's nice to be able to have it out there for other people to enjoy. I know by this point it's going to be a mini-series and I have a lot of ideas, I don't want to drag it out and make it boring so I’m thinking I'm going to shoot for 6 parts and see what happens after that. If you guys have any ideas or suggestions feel free to leave it in the ask box or dm me :) Xxx

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

*Not my gif credit to owner*

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Davids p.o.v

“Natalie give me the keys” looking down the hall where they left hand in hand, I turn to Natalie “Nat give me the fucking keys,” I say a little louder this time but quiet enough so the guy Shawn was talking to wouldn’t notice

I quickly steal a glance at the table and see the redhead staring at me. I roll my eyes and hit Nat’s arm “The keys Natalie” I say in a more demanding tone then needed but how could she not be listening to me at a time like this.

A year, we’ve been broken up for a year and she's walking around with one of the nicest people in the industry on her arm, and by the looks of it, he gives her the world. I feel sick, it should be me, it was me until it wasn’t. I look from the hall where they disappeared back to Natalie ready to hit her arm again.

She looks at me with a look I’ve never seen before. I go to open my mouth again but she stops me

“David,” she sighs defeated “She’s happy” she’s looking me in the eyes trying to communicate that whatever I’m about to do isn’t worth it.

“Not that you seem to fucking care but I haven’t seen her in a whole year, a year Natalie I need to talk to her so stop playing therapist and give me the fucking car keys” I look at her, staring down the hall again, they’ve only been gone for about five minutes but it feels like an eternity the longer Natalie takes the farther away they get.

What the fuck did she know? I look from the hall back to Natalie who still hasn’t made a move to dig my keys out of her bag.

“Natalie, I will say this one more time” I stop lick my lips pushing my hair out of my face getting closer to her sitting figure “Natalie, give me the fucking car keys. I am not going to ask again” I glare at her until I see her shrink in her seat. Jack is looking at me like I'm stupid but I could care less I need to see her.

“Davi-”

“No one asked for your opinion Jack so stay the fuck out of it” I snapped back quickly, turning to look at him with annoyance and anger.

Some people were staring now but I could care less I need to talk to her.

I quickly look down the hall and back at Natalie and down the hall again, I look at the redhead and he’s texting on his phone. I look down ready to grab Natalie's bag myself but see her with the keys in the palms of her hands, looking at the redhead one more time he’s still distracted, I snatch the keys from her hand and head down the hall she disappeared down.

Walking down the hall I realize I don’t even know where I’m going, they couldn’t have gone far. I push open the door to the sound studio the sun momentarily blinding me and quickly scan the cars in the lot. I look for hers but can’t pick it out of the lineup. I quickly get in the Ferrari and drive slowly down the street hopefully seeing her car or her.

Suddenly my phones ringing and it's a FaceTime from Jason, looking down I decline it. How could they be trying to stop me from talking to her?

I’m about to turn down a street when I see them, I see Shawn first but his head is in her hands and she’s littering his face with kisses.

I feel sick, what the fuck am I doing.

I watch as he pushes her face away in a playful manner and reaches to kiss her hand. I feel like they’re about to kiss again and I can’t take it, I rev the engine and quickly pull up to an available space in front of the cafe. I don't even know if this is a parking space but fuck it. I know they heard the car and broke away, I smirk.

I get out of the car and I feel someone staring at me but I know its not her.

I hear Shawn mutter “Is this a joke” and y/n shushing him I smirk knowing whatever they were doing was interrupted by me.

I quickly pull my glasses on she always liked when I wore glasses and do the most cliche car click over the shoulder douchebag move as I’m walking up to the entrance, I completely ignore them but when I hear her ask for a kiss I go to lock the car again making it beep loudly. I hear Shawn groan. Smirking to myself and walk inside. Glad I ruined their moment.

I can feel her staring at me through the glass now as I walk up to the counter, I pretend to study the menu but I’m not focusing. I take out my phone and call Corinna.

“Hello” She answers on the other side of the line

I shrink softly “Corinna I’m a dumbass, I don't even know what my coffee order is how am I going to go to a coffee shop and pretend like I didn't follow them when I don’t even know what my order is-”

“David where the fuck are you” She cut me off

“I saw y/n, She has a new boyfriend and I followed them to this cafe because I wanted to talk to her” I bite my lip “I didn’t think this far ahead I didn’t even think I was going to find them, I didn’t think and- ”

She cut me off again “You never think David that's the problem” I hear her sighing on the line “Ok where are you I’m coming”

“By the time you get here, they’ll be back at the studio it’s at the Warner Brothers lot-” I notice the girl behind the counter eyeing me. “Corinna hold on” I move the phone from my ear and look at her

“Hi, by chance do you know who I am” I speak and my eyes widen “I meant that in the least douchebag way possible” I chuckle

“Actually yeah I do, and I think least douchebag way possible went out the window when you prevented your ex-girlfriend from kissing her boyfriend who is out on the patio” She says in a joking tone but follows my eyes from the couple on the patio to her, she looks over at me and sympathy is all over her face.

“Ok got me there, Do you know my coffee order by chance?” I ask hopefully

“Iced Cappuccino with almond milk, I'll give you a few extra coffees so it just looks like you’re on a coffee run” she smiles at me and puts the order in the register.

Putting my phone to my ear again I hear Corinna in her car “Ok mini-crisis averted, the barista helped me. It's sound lot 7 call Natalie and tell her to put you on the list tell her I’m coming back with coffee” I hang up the phone and sit on the bar by the counter.

My knee won’t stop shaking as I watch the barista make my drinks trying not to look outside.

In my peripherals I see another girl walk out and give y/n and Shawn their food. Their hands disconnect while their plates were set in front of them but as soon as the waitress walks away, Shawn moves his opened hand laid out onto the table with his palm facing up. I feel like I'm intruding on their moment but I can’t help it. y/n giggles at him and puts her hand in his he quickly takes it and pulls her hand up to his mouth kissing her knuckles. He puts their linked fingers back on the table never breaking apart. He keeps stealing glances at her and staring at her intently I look over to her and she has a big smile on her face and her eyes are lit up, by the look on her face I know she’s talking about something she loves and I feel like I’m going to throw up, I look away quickly.

The coffees are set in front of me all 5 of them. I sigh and rub my face in my hands. What the fuck am I doing? The barista places the last drink in the tray.

she looks at me sheepishly “I don’t mean to be inappropriate, but can I get a picture please, I’m a huge fan”

“Yah, of course, thank you for helping me” I smile as she comes around the counter and hands the phone to the other barista who snaps the picture and thanks me.

As she rings me up I glance back outside. Their eating, smiling and laughing. My heart drops.

“Your total is $20.25” She smiles at me

I reach into my pocket “Here I only have a hundred dollars,” handing her the bill “um can I pay for their bill please” I say pointing towards Shawn and y/n. I close my eyes and try to remember what they said at the soundstage, “and I think they said something about getting coffee too so add $10 onto it and then keep the rest as a thank you for helping me” I smile at her and grab the coffee.

She stares at me shocked “Are you sure, you don’t have to honestly that's like a fifty dollar tip”

“Don’t worry about it, oh and please don’t post that picture we took until they leave. Thank you so much.” I turn to walk out but she stops me

“Don’t worry about it too much,” She glances outside to Shawn and y/n laughing, “I know she still has feelings for you, she kept stealing glances in here. He may seem like an angel but he has to leave to tour eventually and who leaves their girlfriend for more than half the year. It gets better even if it feels like your heart just left your body.”

I give her another smile and head to walk outside. As soon as I open the door a bell rings that I didn’t notice when I walked in.

Fuck.

I don’t even look at the eyes that are watching me and continue walking to my car. I set the coffee’s on the floor next to me and back out of the spot.

Making my way to the sound studio I feel my heart breaking all over again, I don’t even notice I’m crying until It gets blurry. Luckily I’m in the studio lot and am already parking. I sit there and pull out my phone before I can even text Natalie to get the coffee my hands start trembling and I punch the steering wheel. The horn going off but I could care less. I don’t even notice Natalie until the stage door slams against the wall and she’s running to me.

I look up at her standing over the car “You’re a dumbass you know that right” she gives me a soft smile before pulling me out of the car and giving me a hug.

I bury my face in her neck and can’t help but cry. She rubs my back. “I know it hurts Dave but it's going to get better I promise,” she tells me as she holds me. I feel useless and broken.

—-

y/n p.o.v.

Me and Shawn finished eating lunch on the patio, once David went inside and didn’t cause further problems I saw Shawn visibly relax. While David was inside our food came out and we ate and talked about random things.

We were interrupted by the sound of a doorbell dinging signaling that David was leaving. Me and Shawn both watched as he carried a tray of coffee’s out to his car and left without a glance or a sound.

Shawn’s eyes followed his car glaring until the car vanished and once it was out of sight he squeezed your hand.

“You owe me two kisses,” Shawn says seriously

I reach over to hold Shawn's jaw in my hand and give him his request and he hums happily

Moving to sit back down he’s deep in thought when I squeeze his hand “You know he’s not a bad person, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt or interfere with us. He just needs time to process things, he doesn’t react kindly to things he can’t have or things he’s not used to”

Shawn sighs leaning his cheek on his free hand that was resting on the table. “So he does want you, still?” He looks at me while his eyes go wide “I mean of course he still wants you, I mean who wouldn’t” he sighs and looks at you lovingly. He’s playing with your fingers now. “Maybe if he wasn’t acting like a total douchebag you would consider talking to him” Shawn mumbled

You laugh “What was that prince?” His eyes go wide confirming you weren’t supposed to hear it. His ears tint pink and he just stares at you sheepishly. It's cute when he gets all worked up.

“I love you Shawn Peter and I will continue to say it until every little doubt leaves your beautiful little brain,” I say squeezing his hand “I'm here for the long run, there is nowhere I would want to be, please stop doubting yourself it hurts my heart.” I pout

He looks at you with admiration “I know I’m sorry, I just-

“Let me stop you right there prince, never apologize for how you feel” looking him in the eyes and reaching for his chin to hold “Your feelings are valid and mean something to me, thank you for sharing them with me, and if for some reason you can’t I'll be here waiting until you can.”

“How do you do that?” He tilts his head in an adorable manner and gazes at me in awe

“do what?” I chuckle

“Make me feel like the luckiest man on earth, you’re so encouraging and understanding, I'm working on being better for you. I know my little uncertainties have really been popping out today but you have been nothing but supportive and patient so thank you” he’s rubbing my ring finger something he does when he’s deep in thought and I smile at him.

“Ready to go rockstar we need to get Gerty his coffee before we head back” Shawn leans his head back behind his chair and groans

“Do we have to” he whines

“Yes, you told him we would take 15 more minutes if we got him coffee” you laugh at his childlike behavior

“Ok let me go pay and order it I’ll be right back” He walks over to me and holds my head in his hands, placing a kiss on my forehead and turns around to walk through the door of the cafe.

I check my phone and Shawn’s that's still in my pocket, Shawns was on do not disturb and I snort, only a rockstar would have his phone on do not disturb while he’s technically working.

There's 4 missed texts and 2 calls from Brian, I unlock Shawn’s phone and look at the messages

Brian: The idiot is yelling at his assistant I think he’s asking for car keys

Brian: he caught me staring but he’s definitely asking for car keys

Brian 1 missed call

Brian: where did you guys go? Need me to pick you guys up

Brian 1 missed call

Brian: okay he came back with coffee? His face is blotchy like he was crying but he came back with a blond. Call me when you can.

I laugh at Brian, always a protector. I sigh and rub my face. How is Shawn suppose to work with David if he’s being unprofessional and causing problems?

My thoughts are disrupted with the bell on the door ringing. Shawn comes out with 3 iced coffees.

“One for my princess, one for me and one for Gerty, and they were paid for already?” Shawn looks at you shrugging his shoulders.

“Wait actually?”

“You sound surprised” He laughs

“Shocked is all, did you tip her at least?” Taking your ice coffee from his hands.

“I did thank you very much, I’m not rude I made sure he was nice to her too, our meal was paid for already, she said a man came in and handed her a hundred dollars,” he snorted “Even though I asked about David and her lock screen was a picture of her and David from about 10 minutes ago, she still said a man” he laughs putting emphasis on ‘a man’ looking at you lovingly

‘Ready to go?” You question looking up at him through your lashes

he looks down at the two coffees he’s holding and whimpers

“What, what's wrong?” You look at Shawn trying to search for what's bothering him

“How am I suppose to hold your hand if I'm holding Gerty’s stupid coffee?” He mopes

“Oh my prince, you have the biggest hands on the planet but can’t hold two coffee’s in one hand” You giggle taking Andrew’s coffee and holding it between your body and elbow, holding your own coffee with the same hand. Intertwining your hand with his. He sighs in content

“Mmm much better than you princess” He kisses your forehead as you guys head back to the studio.

Touching was definitely his love language. You roll your eyes at your greek god of a boyfriend.

By the time we made it back to the studio some cars are gone but most of the crew is there. Shawn insisted on giving me a piggy back ride so now I’m about 7 feet tall trying to open the stage door with two iced coffees in my hand.

Shawn starts laughing “Shawn stop moving unless you want me to spill coffee on your head” I pout he’s not helping whatsoever I'm trying to balance two coffees in one hand while reaching down for a door handle that's about 2 feet below me. Why is my boyfriend a giant “Shawn open the door” I say louder getting annoyed

“Princess if I open the door that means I have to let go of your thigh or my iced coffee both of which I am not willing to let go of so please open the door” he looks up at you with a smirk

“Shawn Peter Raul-“ I don’t have a chance to finish before his hands off my thigh and I feel myself slipping, I let out a scream and quickly wrap my arms around his neck. He’s swinging the door open and running through the hall back to where we left Brian and Andrew.

“Shawn Peter Raul Mendes put me down before you drop us both” I start screaming into his neck scared to look, knowing his clumsy ass would drop both of us and with a boyfriend who is a literal giant and all muscle, those are not the types of bruises I would like to have. I feel his body tense and I'm about to take my face out of his neck when he comes to a complete stop.

I hit my face on the back of his head and he’s laughing loudly. He picks up speed again and sits down on the couch with me still clinging onto his back and squishes me between the back cushions and his body.

Brian is laughing hysterically, you can’t even see me at this point it's Shawn, 2 pairs of legs wrapped around his torso, a head and 2 coffees around his neck. He’s breathing heavy and laughing Andrew walks in and gives us a questioning look. I hold out my arm holding Andrew’s coffee above Shawns head and Brian laughs harder

“Shawn where’s your girlfriend” Andrew smirks and takes a picture of Shawn and your arm reaching out holding his coffee.

“I don’t know Andrew I think I lost her” He takes a sip of his coffee and he’s pinching my legs that are still wrapped around his waist. I yelp “Shawn!”

Brians dying laughing and Andrew is telling us to be quiet and pointing to the couch across from us. I try to maneuver over Shawns big biceps to see what he’s pointing at but it's no use, I just slump deeper into the couch cushion and pinch Shawn’s nipple to get his attention and I hear him yelp.

“What the fuck was that for!” He turns his head to glare at you

“wait y/n do it again I didn’t record it, Where's Con when you need him” Brians chuckling recording the encounter, Shawn glares at him

“Shawn I can't drink my coffee can you help me” He melts

“Oh yeah, here ya go princess” He takes the cup out of your hand and angles it towards you behind his back so you can drink from the straw.

“You guys are ridiculous Shawn get off of her” Andrew commands staring at both of you

“You’re not the boss of me, If I want to turn my girlfriend into a pancake I will” Shawn challenges him laughing along with Brian who is rolling on the floor

“I work with literal children” Andrew pinches the bridge of his nose and walks away

“Ok wait actually Shawn, your Princess can't breathe get your huge ass biceps off of me” I start to push him off but it's no use he dead weights

You yelp not expecting it “Shawn Peter Ra-“

Oh shit “Shawn don’t let her get to Mendes get off of her man,” Brian says frantically getting up and tugging on Shawn’s arm to help pry him off of you

Shawn is laughing so hard his girlfriend pressed into the couch under him and his best friend scared he’s going to face the consequences of not listening to you. He starts laughing so hard he’s crying when Brian finally pulls him off they both fall to the floor.

You’re left with rosy cheeks and messed up hair while Shawn and Brian are rolling on the floor laughing.

You huff and look around, David is sitting on the opposite couch cuddled into Corinna’s lap while she plays with his hair, she’s glaring at you and he looks like he’s about to sleep. He notices you staring at him and pull’s the drawstrings of the hoodie he’s wearing closed and turns over so his face is in Corinna’s stomach away from you.

Andrew comes back “You guys are all good to leave” He looks at Shawn on the floor in-between your legs and Brian sitting next to him.

“We just got back though are you sure,” Shawn asks confused and points towards David, communicating why was he here if we did nothing with him. This earns a look from Corinna.

Andrew shrugs “They said they got enough of your good energy or as I like to say hyperactivity for the promo pieces, once you two decide who you want to film with they’ll send the footage to those youtuber’s and they’ll edit the video promo in the way they do” typing at his phone “You guys are good to leave honestly but please discuss who you want to film with and let me know by tomorrow afternoon you guys are only here for the summer so we need to find a time to film that fits with everyone's schedule within the two months” He points at you and at Shawn.

“Me! why are you pointing at me Andrew I'm just the girlfriend” I laugh putting my hands up in defense

Shawn’s head snaps to me quickly “How dare you talk so lowly of my princess” He goes to pinch your legs again, but you’re too quick and hug them to your chest

“Better luck next time Mendes” You snicker at him and stick your tongue out

“Ha Better luck next time Mendes” he mocks you and your hand movements in the sponge bob meme form

You go to hit the back of his head but he pulls your hand before you can and you land on your butt next to him on the floor. Shawn and Brian are rolling

That’s definitely going to leave a bruise “Shawn Peter-“ you raise your voice waking David up, Shawn notices you glancing at David and realizes you woke him up too, knowing you hate being a disruption in any situation he quickly looks back to you staring him dead in the eyes

“Oh shit” His eyes go wide “Bri you have the car keys right” he rapidly gets up and so does Brian confused

“Yah wh-“

“Run” Shawns standing to avoid your arms trying to grab him and he heads down the hall laughing with Brian following him down the hall.

“Your boyfriend is a literal 5 year old” Andrew deadpans and snickers watching the door fly open and them screaming outside.

You hear the door close and start to stand, Andrew reaches his hand in offering to help you up, you gladly take it and look to see David also stood to help you get up. You just stare at him.

Andrew clears his throat “Okay girlfriend you have an important job, make sure he chooses 8 creators to film within preference to highest rated to lowest pick 2 backups and mark the ones where you think the video will take the longest if we need to reshoot we need to schedule it” he states handing you the paper

You hear David snort next to you, you’re about to open your mouth to defend Andrew when he speaks up

“I'm sorry, is there something wrong Mr. Dobrik?” Andrew turns to look at David whose eyes widen

“Uh no sir I just it's funny you think Youtuber’s reshoot with collaborations its either there or it's not the video is useful or it's trashed. It’s a video not the end of the world”

“Noted, while you may not take your profession seriously by viewing potential projects as useful or trash, with professionals “trash” isn’t an option, we get our work done and better than the standard we set it at. Thank you for your unauthorized input Mr. Dobrik please excuse me” Andrew looks at him smiles and turns to walk out

David shrinks in his seat as Corinna glares at Gerty walking down the hall.

You turn to look at David, “Thank you for lunch I’ll get your Venmo from Ilya and pay you back when I get back to our apartment.”

He goes to say something but you cut him off “Bye Corinna if you’ll excuse me my boyfriends waiting, tell Natalie bye for me.” You fake smile one last time and grab yours and Shawn’s coffees and start to walk towards Andrew who was texting and waiting for you at the end of the hall.

“Go Gerty don’t take anyone's shit” You smirk at him

He chuckles, “I don’t take kindly to people with a poor work ethic and childlike tendencies. Have one or the other, not both, and butting into our conversation when we’re doing his career more of a favor than Shawns and he still chooses to act like a prick even after visibly seeing you happy is beyond me and is someone I don’t look forward to working with.” Andrew goes to open the door for you “On a positive note, you handled that very maturely y/n I'm proud” Andrew gives you a side hug as you guys walk outside the soundstage

___

David’s p.o.v

After y/n leaves I groan and fall into Corinna’s lap

“David, what the fuck just happened, why were you even here if you didn’t film anything?” She looks down pissed at me

I sit up and rub my eyes sighing

“I heard Shawn was doing a youtube collaboration but had a list of youtuber’s to pick from, I found out I was on that list and wanted to come by to ask him to collab with me since our last video fell through, when I got here Nat texted me saying y/n was here but she failed to tell me that she was here but with Shawn,” I say groaning into my hands

“So that's when you lost your shit and followed her to some random cafe with no plan, no backup or any idea what the actual fuck to do?”

“Yah..”

“You’re a dumbass, come on we have to go, wheres Natalie?” she gets up dusting off her jeans

“What where are we going” I get up and follow her

“Well if y/n was an idiot she wouldn’t pick you for Shawn to collab with, but y/n isn’t an idiot so you’ll be number one on the list. We need to make a plan and a filming schedule where you’ll be spending more time with her than with him so you guys can talk” she looks at me like it’s obvious “you do want to talk to her right? that's why you went all Slovak spy on her following her to a cafe like a creep”

“Yah. But Corinna, I really fucked up,” I'm defeated.

Remembering y/n being calm and collected as she threw her clothes into a suitcase, while I was frantically trying to stop her, tears streaming down my face and she’s not talking to me or paying attention to anyone in our living room that witnessed the whole thing. How she just packed her things, her life and her love for me and walked out of our front door without a goodbye.

“I want her back but I want her to be happy” I look down. If what I did made her get straight on a flight to leave the country so I couldn’t get to her, what hope is there really?

“David you’ve done a lot of stupid shit in your life, letting go of the women you were planning on proposing too is definitely at the top of the list, you and y/n have something her and Shawn don’t. History. We just need to figure out how to make her talk to you okay? We can do this, we can fix this, she’s back now you know where she is. If Shawn agreed to do this youtube thing it means she doesn’t completely hate you. That's a good thing” she claps her hands together as we exit the stage heading into our cars.

I feel my heart skip a beat, for the first time in a year I’m hopeful. Corinna’s right y/n is back for the first time in a year. That was the challenge finding her to talk and explain, now she’s here at arm's length. Smiling like an idiot I'm screaming at the top of my lungs driving down the 101 on my way home.

----

I’m aiming for 6 parts so hopefully, this hasn’t bored you yet, more drama to come again this has just been floating around in my head so thank you for reading Xx

If you guys have any ideas or suggestions feel free to leave it in the ask box or dm me :) Xxx

#david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik x you #David dobrik x Shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes imagine #david dobrik imagine #natalie mariduena #davids vlogs #Shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes blurb #david dobrik angst #shawn mendes fluff

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kizykinz · 5 years

Text

My Opinion on Shawn Right Now

Warning: I’m probably going to cry and I have a feeling that this is going to make me very vulnerable. Also, if you disagree, that’s fine, but please keep in mind that it’s an opinion and there is a person behind the screen. <3

Here it is. Here is what I've been dying to say for a long time. Can I just start off by saying that I love this boy so much? Like literally so much. I know everyone says it, but he’s helped me a lot. He’s inspired me to be a better person (not physically because I don’t work out smh). I remember being nine or ten years old (op, age reveal if you do the math) and scrolling through YouTube and finding a video of a boy with a hat on singing Wanted by Hunter Hayes. I remember Shawn not being that popular. I remember Magcon and the vines and I remember thinking that this kid right here. He’s going to change the world. I remember when he posted prom photos with Lauren and I remember him being active on Tumblr. I remember him being young. God, I remember when him and Lauren were a big deal.

IKWYDLS was a huge deal. It was a great song for it’s time and was played everywhere, every minute. I remember watching videos of Shawn and Camila and not shipping them because I didn’t get that vibe from them. they seemed like genuine friends. Time skip to when Senorita came out. None of us was expecting it to say the least. When I first watched the video, it was 12 a.m. in Colorado. I was with my sister and she said, “they seem awkward.” and I didn’t really pay attention BECAUSE SHAWN MENDES MADE A STEAMY MUSIC VIDEO IM SHOOK was still running through my veins haha. I also thought of how crazy stan twitter must of been going. (Im not apart of stan twitter anymore. It’s a long story. And a story for a different time). I seriously didn’t think anything of shawnmila. I was just proud of my bambi. Then, shit started going down real quick. But you guys know the story. Let’s go to Shawn performing in Denver. I watched him perform Senorita/IKWYDLS and when he opened his eyes they were glossy, and almost looked dead in a way? (this was after the kissing video got leaked) No one else really noticed. But there were a couple of fans that did I bet. Then, he asked how many people had watched/listened to him since his first album and even before that. Not a lot of people cheered, but there was still some, including me. He looked up and he just smiled. It was a comfortable smile too. One that said he knew that we know a lot about him, if that makes any sense. And honestly, he seemed so happy and he looked so refreshed. It looked as if he dropped the mask and he let it go. And it was like 16 year old shawn was sitting there, about to play some old songs for the crowd and that C was just a friend. Almost like he could’ve just stopped the concert and had a real talk right there. I honestly didn’t care about him and Camila that much. I didn’t care if it was for PR or not. I wanted a fic where the reader teaches him how to kiss instead though smh. I just thought, well, as long as he’s happy it’s none of my business what’s going on behind closed doors. The past couple weeks, I’ve noticed something. The bags under his eyes are growing and he’s always drinking tea or his leg is always bouncing. His anxiety is getting to him. Then, I heard a rumor that he went backstage after a show one night and had a breakdown because he felt like he was letting us down. Then, yesterday when he wouldn’t take a photo with a fan when C was there, even though he loves us and loves taking photos with us, put me on edge a bit. Ngl. When I heard about the qna and him not answering a simple question that has NOTHING really to do with C, sent me. I was so fucking pissed at Shawn for doing this. For not listening to us and lying to us and all of that. But then I thought, he doesn’t hate anything more in the world than lying to us and keeping secrets. He doesn’t hate anything more in the world than saying no to photos with fans because he genuinely loves us to death. All of it is slowly killing him. It’s so obvious. He’s not being Shawn at the QnA’s, his eyes are either always puffy and red or always black with the bags. He’s constantly drinking calming tea, his leg is bouncing a lot, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s taking his meds that slow his heart rate again. I bet you he’s closing us out because he doesn't even know what's going on. He’s hurting us, and he knows it. It’s killimg him. C is killing him. He’s tired and he’s upset and she’s probably pushing him to do more, PR or not. God, I love that kid so much. and here we go. I’m crying smh. He deserves all the happiness in the world. He deserves a girl that treats him right. I’m not being “a jealous 15 year old girl” because honestly. I don’t want to date Shawn Mendes. I don’t. At all. I want to be his friend and go on tour with him. I don’t want to go on book dates and make out with him in a restaurant. I’ll happily be a fan rather than be with him. He deserves gluten-free blueberry muffins at 10 a.m. He deserves to go home after a long day to whoever he wants. He deserves to go on tour and meet the fans. But, this girl is killing him. It’s pretty damn obvious. Even though he’s not off the hook with me about what he did at the QnA, he still deserves everything this world has to offer him. And god dammit, I was pissed for a hot minute at him. If he doesn’t want questions about it, don’t do it in public. I get that it sucks but it is his life too. @serendipitousshawn ‘s inbox was probably filled with me ranting about it haha. but, he’s not even 21 yet. He’s a celebrity. He’s a full grown fucking man and he made an oopsies. He apologized on twitter (even tho he deleted the tweet smh) and I bet money he’s going to apologize at the QnA today. If he doesn’t, I might lose it. So Long fucking rant short. He made a mistake, I’m still kinda pissed at him?, and @serendipitousshawn would’ve made a better explanation than me and thats the tea.

#shawn mendes #shawnmila #rant #tea #imreadyforthehateletsdothis

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winnipegpatty · 5 years

Text

like what you’re doing to me | two | s.m. series

a/n: yes let’s go! okay forreal this time though thank you @mendesmood for the instagram edits!!! <3 the ice cream picture is from sara_hara on IG, she’s beautiful. also, if you like this consider buying me a ko-fi (link on my page!)

Setting up a collaboration with Karli hadn’t been too hard considering Shawn didn’t have a whole lot going on right now outside of tour rehearsals. Andrew had wanted Shawn to set it up as soon as possible as to not lose some of the hype that had come along with his tweets and Karli’s video.

A ton of Twitter fans had already been speculating that they may be setting up a collaboration of some sort. And Andrew had given Shawn the go ahead to tease about it here and there, just to keep interest up. Which meant that Shawn and Karli had been flirtily tweeting each other all week. Nothing too crazy, but just here and there.

So now, about three and a half weeks since Shawn’s initial tweet from the airport, he was flying to LAX to create an unknown collaboration with Karli King. He’d left pretty much any and all specifics about the video up to her discretion, saying that he trusted her craft, whatever the fuck that meant. The truth was, Shawn didn’t know how to make a fucking Youtube collaboration. Sure, Shawn had started on Youtube. But Youtube years ago, was a completely different game than Youtube now. Shawn had recorded unedited, raw covers in his bedroom. And now, people were creating music that was just as produced and put together as his albums were. And they were putting out that content once or sometimes even twice a week. This was a world far removed from Magcon days. A loud cry from his vine days, and it was something that Shawn hadn’t the smallest inkling about.

But he hadn’t wanted to tell Karli that. He couldn’t seem like a fucking idiot to her before they’d even met.

Karli had sent over all the details of meeting spot and time and what not to Shawn’s cell (because now they had each other’s phone numbers, which was something Shawn doesn’t like to think about). And Shawn was just set to drop his things off at a hotel before meeting Karli King for the first ever time, and it was going to be...fine.

Shawn was nervous as hell. He never gets nervous, but goddamn he was nervous. He had butterflies constantly roaming his stomach, never giving him a moments peace. He felt like he had the jitters, his nervous habits that he’d abandoned long ago we starting to creep back in, and Shawn just felt completely on edge.

Why did he feel like he was about to me the fucking Queen of England?

It’s just Karli King.

Shawn hopped in an Uber, giving the address Karli had sent him, and decided it was time to clear is mind. He pulled out his phone, deciding to tweet something extremely ambiguous just to see the familiar flood of excited responses from the fans. He shot out just a quick little message saying “Today’s a big day!” and he waited.

It only took thirty seconds before he saw his mentions grow exponentially, filled with fans asking what was going on, if he could tell them anything, or requests to post pictures. Shawn replied to a handful of them, sifting through similar ones, finding the gems hidden in the rough.

You’ll see later. Coming soon. Pictures? Maybe, I’ll get back to you on that one ;)

Finally Shawn swiped off Twitter, entering his messages app and hitting Niall’s name.

Shawn: Hey, in LA for a few days. Hangout?

Karli was insanely terrified. Not just because Shawn Mendes was coming to her house, but because of the video they were about to produce.

It’s not surprise that Karli is best known for her ten song mashups. It’s unique, and it’s what got her traction on the platform, garnering her over 5 million subscribers. But if you knew Karli, you knew this wasn’t what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She loved Youtube, absolutely. And her fans were incredible. But Karli wasn’t wanting to sing covers forever. She wanted to write and release her own music.

So Karli was taking a risk. A really big one, but is life really worth living without them?

Karli wasn’t stupid. She knew that no matter what she put out, a video with Shawn Mendes was guaranteed to get more views than most of her own content. His fan base was insanely huge, arguably one of the biggest in the world right now. So, if she was going to take a risk, this is where she was least likely to flop. Because Shawn Mendes would be holding her up.

And Shawn had given her complete creative control over the video content. Shawn didn’t know this yet, but today he was going to be learning and singing a Karli King original. She was completely terrified. What if he hated the song? Or wanted to do something else? Or completely backed out because he’d expected to be doing a ten song mashup?

Shawn didn’t really seem like the kind of person to bail, but she also had to admit that she doesn’t really know him

But nevermind that, she didn’t have the opportunity to change her mind because Shawn would be here any minute.

She just hoped he liked it.

Shawn showed up about five minutes early, donning a backpack and two guitar cases. Karli hadn’t specifically told him he’d be playing the guitar or anything, but he wanted to come prepared. So he’d brought an acoustic and an electric.

“Hey,” Karli had easily welcomed him into what looked to be her actual home.

Which, made sense. He, after all, had also recorded everything in his home too when he’d started out.

Karli’s platinum blonde hair was flowing down her shoulders, with a small portion of it tied back into a small bun on her head. She wore a yellow cropped Adidas hoodie and a pair of gym shorts. He feet were clad in fuzzy socks, and Shawn felt immensely overdressed in just his right black slacks and his loose fitting tee.

Karli led them down a hallway, “Bathrooms right here, if you need it.” She smiled at him over her shoulder. “And this, is the studio.” She opened a door on the right to reveal an immensely beautiful space. Shawn actually gasped.

There was a mini grand piano in one corner of the room, and three guitars hanging on the wall near it. There was a desk with her producing equipment, an area for a camera set up, and a corner with microphones and music stands at the ready.

“Holy shit,” Shawn looked at Karli, “this is fucking legit.”

Karli laughed, and Shawn felt his heart stop. Her laugh was so mealoudious in video, but in real life it was angelic. He was never going to survive this day.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Karli responded. “I’ve spent years collecting this stuff.”

Shawn shook his head, “You could honestly to god record an entire album in this one room.”

Karli beamed at him, tugging on the drawstring of her hoodie, “That’s the goal.”

Shawn, who’d been busying himself with one of the guitars hanging up, turned completely shocked. “Really? You’re wanting to make your own music?”

She simply nodded her head shyly.

“Do you write your own songs?” Shawn asked, now completely invested in Karli, guitars all but forgotten.

“Well...actually, yeah. I’m going to show you one, for the video.”

Shawn’s eyes went wide, “You want us to sing one of your originals together?”

They spent the next few hours becoming accustomed to Karli’s original song, which she had titled ‘Why Won’t You Love Me’. Shawn absolutely loved the song. It had a sick beat, that they’d been playing around with on her computer. The electric guitar part was amazing, and their voices meshed so well on the chorus.

“Okay, the first verse is just going to be me and the guitar. So, then you just harmonize like that in the chorus and play the guitar, but then we’ll switch back on the verse. I’ll play the guitar. You’ll sing the second verse, which I will harmonize with. Then go into the chorus and bridge together.”

“Sounds perfect.” Shawn agreed.

Karli eyed Shawn for a moment, “Did you happen to bring that blue guitar in either of those cases?”

Shawn laughed, “Yeah, I did bring that blue guitar.”

___

YouTube: Shawn Mendes and Karli King sing “Why Won’t You Love Me”

___

Shawn: so do you like celebrate a video release?

Karli: i would say that’s the proper way to do it, eh?

Shawn: you wouldn’t be making fun of my Canadian heritage would you? just when i thought we had a good thing going.

Karli: i would never.

___

Since the video’s release, Karli’s channel has been trending on YouTube for days. She’s gained a ton of subscribers, and people showed genuine interest in her music. It seems like a lot of her fans had been waiting for her to release her own music, which was a pleasant surprise.

On Shawn’s side of things, progress was a bit more difficult to track. What with him already having millions of fans, and pretty high activity every day whether there was something being released or not, new traffic was a bit harder to grasp.

But Andrew continued to tell Shawn that all the press had been good. Karli’s song was huge, and she’d released a recorded version on iTunes without Shawn on it, that was doing really well on the charts. It seemed the media was viewing this as a “Shawn Mendes returns to his roots and pulls up an up and coming Artist with him” sort of situation.

Shawn really couldn’t care less about the success or what it was doing to his fan base, as long as it was semi successful at least. Shawn wanted the success for Karli, but for himself he really hadn’t cared.

But what he had used this opportunity as was a way to continue communication with Karli, on a slightly more personal level. They’d moved past Twitter mentions and into the regular texting category of new friendships. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been flirting with her.

But if Shawn had thought he liked Karli before he’d met her, he was head over heels for her now.

He couldn’t get her off his mind. He’d simply never found someone more mindblowingly talented. The effort that she put into her music was inspiring to even Shawn. Her conversations were captivating, like she always had something on her mind.

Shawn was honestly surprised with how open she’d become with him so quickly. But he wasn’t going to be complaining.

After the video release, Shawn had returned home to continue tour rehearsals. Tour was set to start in about a month, and Shawn was ecstatic. He’d never been more excited to sing songs live that he was about these ones. And practicing the tour every day just made him more and more energetic.

On top of rehearsals, Andrew also had Shawn doing some writing sessions here and there, preparing to release a single mid tour. Writing sessions meant going to LA for a few days here and there. Most of the time he spent this time coupled up in a house with Teddy, putting together ideas until finally something good sticks and turns into something incredible.

But other times, like now, Shawn had a free night. Normally, when in LA, he’d first reach out to Niall, but he knew for a fact that Niall was in the UK running some promo with his golf company. Shawn was honestly a bit bummed out anytime he and Niall seemed to miss each other, one away while the other was in LA. It felt like a gross injustice on the universe’s part, to give Shawn a friend like Niall but then rarely allow them to see each other in person.

Twas the life of a rockstar, Shawn assumed.

Shawn needed something to do though because he was in one of those moods. Those moods he gets into when he’s too much in his head. When he needs someone else to pull him out of it, and remind him that there is life outside of his mind. These moods only had one fix: people. It never really mattered who, though Shawn preferred it to be a close friend. But frankly, those were often in short supply for Shawn, depending on which corner of the world he was in on any given day.

Despite knowing tons of people in LA, Shawn really only wanted to see one person.

And that scared him.

His writing session with Teddy today had been productive, but Shawn knew exactly why. Because he’d been thinking about a certain blonde. He’d been thinking back to their first meeting and just how nervous she’d made him. In a way no one ever had. And how even now, the idea of texting her and asking if she was free to hang out had his stomach in knots. Shawn wasn’t this kind of person. Sure, he wasn’t like smooth or anything when it came to the ladies, but he wasn’t one to become nervous. Performing made him nervous. Awards shows made him nervous. Girls don’t make Shawn Mendes nervous.

Until Karli King.

Should he text her? Call her? Were they on a calling basis? Probably not. Were they even on a casual hangout basis? Shawn had no idea. Maybe he just had to just do it. Just text her and not even look back or think about it. That probably seemed best, before Shawn got even further into his head and completely over thought the whole thing.

Shawn: Hey Karli. I’m in LA for a couple days, and have the night free. Want to get together?

That was a normal thing to send a friend right? Shawn went to the kitchen of the house the team was staying in for writing sessions, grabbing himself a beer to calm himself. He didn’t have to worry for long, before his phone was chiming with a message.

Karli: Hey! I’m out with some friends tonight, actually. We’re just bar hopping. Come join us!

Shawn wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to join a group of people he didn’t know on a bar hop run, but he knew he wanted to see Karli. And he knew he wanted to be around people, so I guess this was the option that checked off both of those boxes.

Shawn: just tell me when.

That may have been overeager

Karli: We’re at Jeni’s now, won’t be going out for another hour or so. Come get ice cream!

Shawn smiled at the picture, wondering what ice cream flavor was her favorite, as he wait for the address of which Jeni’s they were at.

Shawn stumbled around the house, throwing on a YOUTH hoodie, and pulling on a pair of chelsea boots. Shawn had already called for an Uber by the time Karli had responded with the address. He answered her saying he’d been there in a few.

The butterflies in his stomach only amped up as he thought about how he was going to see her for the second time in just a matter of minutes.

“Are you drunk?” Karli laughed, throwing her head back as they continued to dance together.

“What?” Shawn asked shocked, “No. I’ve only had two drinks. I’m not a fucking pansy.”

Karli laughed even harder at that, “Well, what do I know? I’ve never been out drinking with Shawn Mendes before.” She smiled up at him, “You just seem like you’re having a good time.”

Shawn smiled, bringing his hand around her waist as he moved against her body, “I am having a great time, Karli.”

“That’s really good.”

Karli slung her arms around Shawn’s neck, “I’m not drunk either, but I might be soon.”

___

Getting to know Shawn after their night together in LA was easy, almost natural. Karli found herself texting him almost constantly. They would share bits and pieces of their days with each other. She’d send him little sound bites of a song she was recording while he’d send her little videos of him and Teddy messing around with a beat.

It was fun and light, but Karli knew there was more coming. She could feel it in the way her cheeks widened at the sound of his voice, or the way she’d blush slightly before sending him a picture of her day. She could feel it in the way Shawn’s laugh echoed in her mind hours after a phone call had ended.

She wasn't going to do anything about it though because he was Shawn Mendes and that entailed a lot of things. A lot of things that Karli couldn’t pretend to know about. Dating Shawn wasn’t something that one casually did because he was a celebrity. There were contracts and paps and images involved. Karli wasn’t going to insert herself into that.

She couldn’t, not with the way her life was now. She was building a name for herself, and she wasn’t doing it on the back of someone like Shawn Mendes. The last thing Karli needed was accusations being thrown her way of using Shawn for his fame. She knew all about cancel culture, and one headline like that could literally end her career before it had even fully started.

So there Karli remained, the silent background friend of Shawn’s that no one knew about.

___

Shawn: come to the zoo with me?

Karli: what? why are you going to the zoo?

Shawn: i want to see a kangaroo

___

It was a Thursday morning, just a week before Shawn’s tour was going to start. His energy was through the roof, and he had to get it out somehow.

So he went to the zoo.

Karli has easily agreed, and they’d met up outside before starting the day together. It was fucking hot outside despite it being early March. Kids were in school, so the zoo was practically empty. Just like Shawn had hoped.

“Okay so,” Karli looked over Shawn shoulders, pushing up on her top toes. “Looks like the kangaroos are all the way at the back.” She pointed to literally the furthest place in the zoo.

Shawn clapped, “Well we better get moving then, if we are to make it to Australia by days end!”

Karli laughed, following Shawn as he moved down the walkway.

Turns out that seeing the kangaroos, really just meant Shawn wanted to see every animal in the entire zoo. He stopped and gazed at every single exhibit. Asking Karli which animals she liked best and which she identified most with. He’s randomly share the oddest facts with her.

“Did you know that a rhinoceros's horn is made of hair?”

“I did not know that, Shawn.”

Occasionally Karli would initiate the conversation, saying how she wished she could be a sloth, or maybe how she wonders how penguins don’t get cold.

Overall, it was the exact kind of day Karli wanted to spend with Shawn. Sharing stupid facts together, laughing at odd jokes, accidentally brushing fingers or shoulders a little too often to be truly accidental. It was perfect. It was peaceful.

___

And they did finally see the kangaroos.

___

tagging: @fourtristattoos @peacedolantwins2 @rosecth @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @justanotherfangurl272 @my-sweet-escape-from-the-world @loveydoveyshawn @outlandishnerd @amandash113 @lostinroses @ilsolee

#shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #imagine #fic #fanfic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes writing #my writing #mine #writing #lwydtm #like what you're doing to me

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opalescentlibraa · 5 years

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Perfectly Wrong: part 2

"You know I've known you 3 years, i know when you're not sharing something with me Cleo" her friend Natalie said. Cleo and her friends Thalia and Natalie were sitting in her hotel room, getting ready for the concert.

Cleo had spent the past 48 hours weighing whether she should tell her friends about her night with Shawn, which now seemed more like a dream. So far she hadn't said anything and it was killing her not telling anyone, but she worried they wouldn't believe her or they would just completely freak out. All Cleo wanted to do was gush to Natalie about how she had drinks with Shawn Mendes, and how he flirted with her all night, leaving her with a feeling like electricity running through her ever since that last touch. There was 2 hours before they had to leave for meet and greet, and Cleo couldn't hold it in any longer, she had to tell them so she could vent about how anxious she was to see him, what'll happen when she sees him, what he'll do. "Okay so i can't keep this any more and it's gonna sound crazy, but the other night i was downstairs in the bar and got a little tipsy and tripped backing into someone. But that someone was Shawn Mendes" she said barely breathing while rushing to get it out. Cleo felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, she could finally talk about it even if her friends were staring at her like she was crazy.

"Did you just say... Shawn Mendes, as in the singer we're seeing in less then two hours" Natalie looked at Cleo in disbelief.

Cleo got up from the bed, trying to figure out how to tell them what had happened because it felt as surreal to her as it would sound crazy to them. "I honestly don't even know how this happened, I honestly don't know if it was real it feels too good to be true. He flirted with me you guys and i have to see him today. maybe i should just give someone my meet and greet, he probably doesn't even remember me". Cleo was pacing the room, how could she see him? what would she say? "yeah hey we had drinks the other night and you seemed interested so we should definitely see where this goes" Cleo thought, reluctantly telling them about the night.

"Are you crazy?!" Natalia and Thalia shouted at the same time, both getting up. Natalie walked over to Cleo grabbing her by the shoulders to face her, "so you're saying hes staying at this hotel? baby you have to go to meet and greet! this is literally fate..... holy shit all those times joking about Shawn falling in love with you are coming true!" she squealed.

Cleo just shook her head, "he is not going to fall in love with me, It was probably just a one time thing just for fun, nothing serious."

"so then why wouldn't you go meet him? if it wasn't 'serious' then just roll with that, you told him your whole life story! conversation will come easy, you only have to talk for like 3 seconds. But Shawn doesn't come across as someone who would flirt with a girl for no reason, so i agree with Nat" Thalia said, walking to the mini fridge. "I think this calls for drinks, I mean it only makes sense since that's how you met your future husband" Thalia joked pushing a beer into Cleo's hand.

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An hour and a half later, plenty of arguing due to Thalia trying to convince Cleo to let her do her makeup and choose her outfit they were at the venue. Waiting in line Cleo kept fidgeting with her phone, she had no clue what was about to happen, what she would say or what to even expect. Thinking about the other night she couldn't help but smile, "i forgot to tell you guys about how i have an inside joke with him as well" she whispered not wanting anyone else to hear. "you know how i walked into him backwards well i continued doing that as a joke, and when i got out of the elevator he said that was our thing". Nat and Thalia both letting out squeals of excitement, leaving all eyes on them.

"We're just excited okay" Cleo said hating people stare at her.

They were a couple people away from their turn. Getting there late had unfortunately left them the last couple people in line. Nat trying to convince Cleo to go last, "cmon it will so surprise him and he'll be able to actually talk to you a bit longer because he won't be waiting for the next person, maybe you'll get his number" she said moving Cleo so she was behind her.

Cleo stood in line, both her friend's had gone in leaving her alone with her thoughts. It was only a 5 minute wait but god did those 5 minutes feel like an eternity, she felt like time was slowing down and it made her even more anxious. The longer it felt the more thoughts came to the surface creating more and more scenarios. She couldn't shake the possibility of her walking out of that room with his number, she had jokingly daydreamed about this happening not thinking it would actually happen, I mean the chances were basically non-existent. What are the chances you end up staying in the same hotel as a world famous singer. Her hands were sweating she was so nervous, wiping her hands on her jeans every couple seconds.

It came to be Cleo's turn, she had spent the last 5 minutes overthinking every possible scenario she hadn't even thought about how she has to actually think of a pose for the picture, or what she would even say. The security guard cleared his throat taking her out of her daydream "it's your turn"

Walking towards the curtain she stopped, Shawn would be standing there waiting, not realizing that she would be walking through.There was nothing she could do now, unless she just ran but that wasn't Cleo's style. Taking a deep breath she walked through the curtain and there he was standing with his back towards her, laughing about something with the photographer. It took her back to their night, how he had laughed at her stupid jokes that definitely weren't funny, how he would throw his head back like he was now. She smiled at the thought. "scuse' me but isn't this a meet and greet not a comedy club" she didn't know where this sarcastic reply came from nor the confidence but it reminded her about the first couple sentences they said to each other, full of sarcastic remarks.

Shawn froze in place, he would recognize that voice anywhere; the girl he couldn't get out of his mind, hoping he would run into her again and here she was. He was right she was a fan, the biggest grin appeared on his face, trying to dim it down as he turned around. "Oh i'd beg to differ, I tell some pretty stellar jokes if i say so myself" he said laughing, he couldn't hide his huge grin anymore. "I honestly think we should just do the Q&A where i just tell everyone all my jokes"

She couldn't contain the fits of laughter that left her mouth, bending over holding her stomach. Trying to contain her laughter she stood back up "i was about to say that's an awful idea but the amount you just made me laugh, maybe you're right". Both laughing, the photographer reminded them they had to take a picture hurrying them along.

Shawn walked over to Cleo and whispered "You know I am so shocked to see you here, but in such a good way. I- I am about to be so brutally honest, i couldn't get my mind off of you the past two days and it's been driving me insane, and i'd really like to take you out while we're both in Paris" not wanting the photographer or Jake to hear, "and we should probably come up with a pose for this photo huh".

That made Cleo giggle. It took them a couple minutes to pick a pose and lots of urging from the photographer and Andrew, that Shawn only had a little more time till Q&A. They ended up landing on a pose with Shawn behind her, arms wrapped tightly around her small body. They both had huge grins on their faces when the photo went off because they couldn't stop laughing, you could see the excitement and happiness in both their eyes. " So you want to take me on a date? how're we gonna do that without anyone noticing us" Cleo had always imagined what it would be like dating him, constantly being recognized, little to no privacy, and she didn't know if she could handle that, she hated being the center of attention, even if it was just because she were dating a superstar.

Andrew Shawn's manager was signaling to Shawn he needed to get ready for Q&A, "Okay I know with my lifestyle their isn't a lot of privacy but i do want to take you out and i'll do my very best to make sure we're as discreet as possible, can i get your number? i'll message you tomorrow and we can plan this more, as i'm sadly running out of time here as much as i want to talk to you for much longer".

Cleo gave him her number, both of them smiling like idiots. Shawn hugged her tight before he left to go prepare for the Q&A "i'll see you in the other room" he winked walking out of the room, leaving her giddy with so many emotions.

The next day Cleo woke up to a bunch of texts from a random number, which could only be Shawn. He had texted her telling her the plans he had made which were that they'd meet in the hotel bar, have a drink, and then go to dinner. She smiled and laughed that he wanted to meet in the very place fate had placed them both at the same time.

Last night had been surreal and she couldn't believe she had finally seen him in concert, she had cried so many times last night she couldn't even count. But now she was going on a date with him, it felt unreal and like a dream, how had she ended up in this situation, in the same hotel as Shawn Mendes which seemed impossible, yet was happening. She replied to his texts which lead to them texting the rest of the morning.

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The next night she was in her room getting ready for her date, she had made sure nat and thalia were there, so she wouldn't back out. She needed all the moral support she could get, she was nervous as hell and her anxiety was at an all time high. Two hours later and she was ready, "You're going to do amazing, he's just a regular guy with.... millions of fans, but just forget that last part and you'll be FINE" Nat reassured Cleo.

She headed down to the hotel bar, while in the elevator she couldn't help but get excited and small surge of confidence. He is just a regular guy, conversation came so easy last time she reminded her self. She walked to the bar and got a seat at a table. Fifteen minutes went by, she was early of course she wanted to have time to get herself together. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around, She couldn't stop her mouth from falling open as she saw the man standing before her.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fan fiction #Shawn #mendes army #mendes #fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction

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everythingshawnmendes · 6 years

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Hey I have a request for Shawn! Can you write something where y/n is dating him but is out without him and has a run in with the paparazzi? Then later he gets really protective of her?

“I’ll be back before you know it babe.” You kissed Shawn’s shoulderas you got up from his bed.

Your boyfriend was currently sick with a raging feverand didn’t feel like eating anything but soup. Being in a 19 year-old’sapartment who was gone half of the time, there was nothing in the fridge, soyou decided to run to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients.

“Stay safe!” You heard him yell from upstairs as youwere putting your shoes on.

“Don’t shout, protect your vocal cords!” You yelledback at him. You can picture him rolling his eyes at you.

As you put your keys into your car door, you couldn’thelp but smile. You were so in love with this idiot. It hurt you to see himsick, so you were prepared to do anything to make him feel better and you knewhe would do the same for you in a heartbeat as well. Your phone rang.

“Be careful for paparazzi x.”

“You worry too much.” You typed, before closing yourphone and pulling out of his parking garage.

Shawn and you had been dating long enough for you tobe familiar with the whole paparazzi issue. At first, you were wildly destabilized;they would show up everywhere and they would wait at potential spots he wouldgo to. It was insane, but now you were well trained by Shawn to ignore them andto proceed as if they weren’t even there.

It was to no surprise that you spotted a cameraman getin his car a couple buildings away and start trailing your car. There were acouple that stayed near his house 24/7, it was pretty sad honestly. You didn’tunderstand why they would go through all of that just for a mere photo. The wildestthing they have gotten by sitting beside Shawn’s house was a picture of you andShawn clambering out of a car, both utterly wasted with two Mcdonald’s bags in clutch.You two had waved and cackled at him, and the response to the photos weremerely everyone saying how cute of a couple the two of you made.

When you started dating him, you had in mind how nastyjealous fangirls could get. You did receive some hate towards the beginning,but it didn’t take long for everyone to see that you truly meant no harm andafter big waves of fan met you while asking Shawn for a picture, the negativemessages died down. That didn’t mean the paparazzi didn’t try to throw somedigs at you just for a reaction, but you usually just told them to piss off,which was crazy effective; and led Shawn to fall in love with you even more tosee that his girl was such a badass when it came to the medias.

You pulled up at a parking spot and got out your car, takingyour wallet and phone with you. As you entered the chilly grocery store airthrough the automatic doors, a young girl spotted you and waved.

“Y/N! Where’s Shawn?” She squealed, hugging you.

“Hi! Poor guy’s sick, so I’m here buying ingredients fora soup.”

“That is so sweet of you, oh my god. Mind if I take apicture with you?”

“Sure.” You chuckled, still blown away that fans lovedShawn so much to ask you for a picture, even if he wasn’t even here with youand all you were wearing was shorts and one of his Harry Potter tees.

The fan left and you walked in the store, grabbing abasket on your way. You browsed through the produce aisle, picking up carrots,celery, an onion and a couple cloves of garlic. You were on your way to go lookfor some bowtie pasta, you knew that was Shawn’s favourite when around eight peoplewith huge cameras started walking behind you and started clicking away.

“Seriously?” You muttered, covering your eyes with theback of your free hand so you wouldn’t be blinded by the flashes. “What do youguys want?” You snapped.

They were saying random sentences and all talking overeach other that you only caught snippets of speech.

“…he ever cheated?”

“What does Shawn think of the feud between…”

“…you think that Hailey’s engaged with Justin to make himjealous or to get back at you?”

You couldn’t help but look into the camera at that oneand laugh, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“That one’s quite a stretch. Now excuse me, I need togo to the pasta aisle-“

“But wait!”

“Y/N we need to ask you-“

Suddenly eight people trailing at your heels becameeight people quite literally surrounding you, blocking you in every direction.

“What the fuck, guys.” You sighed, now thoroughlyannoyed. All you wanted was to get back to your boyfriend. “Please move.”

“Excuse me, ma’am, are there people bothering you?” Atall employee called out to you.

“Exceedingly.” You said. You didn’t dare try to breakout of the small mob, because although you thought they were idiots, they werestill eight times you and you were a little scared.

“Guys, I’m sorry, either you clear away from her or I’llbe forced to ask you to leave this building.”

“Hey, we’re not doing anything, we’re just asking herquestions!” A nasal voice rang from behind you.

The employee took out the walkie-talkie from his backpocket and muttered something about requesting security for a disturbance inthe produce aisle, and that was all that needed for them to disperse.

“Thanks.” You huffed, hand going through your hair inrelief. It was a nervous habit of yours.

“No problem, my name is Ted if you ever need me.”

“No, I’m good thank you very much.” You smiled at him.Frazzled, you went to check out and speed-walked to your car.

Shawn couldn’t help it, he was a protective boyfriend.He opened his Twitter app and searched for a “Shawn Mendes update” account, becausehe knew they would tweet anything that was fan-related to him relativelyinstantly. He saw a picture of a fan and you in the outfit you left in, smilingat the camera at the entrance to the grocery store. Scrolling down, he sawmultiple videos of you from different angles behind circled by paparazzi andone of the employee calling security on them. His palms moistened a bit. He knewhe had nothing to worry about, but he was just so afraid of anything happeningto you.

A flashy article titled “Y/N Y/L/N, Shawn Mendes’girlfriend caused security to be called on uncontrollable paparazzi at localgrocery store” emerged and he clicked on it.

He watched a video of you, looking annoyed, askingthem to leave.

“…youthink that Hailey’s engaged with Justin to make him jealous or to get back atyou?”

“Thatone’s quite a stretch. Now excuse me, I need to go to the pasta aisle-“

Shawn couldn’t help but laugh a little at theunimpressed, “are you fucking stupid” look you gave to the reporter.

“Excuseme, ma’am, are there people bothering you?”

“Exceedingly.”

Shawn’s heart clenched at that. He knew you loved himand was unfazed at the paparazzi he brought to your life, but couldn’t not feela twinge of guilt as well. He looked at the clock and was hoping you’d be backsoon so he could give you a big squeeze.

He clambered out of bed, making his way downstairsjust as you opened the door.

“Hey, sorry it took so-“ You said, placing bags downonto the counter but were caught off when you felt two warm arms slip around yourshoulders and bring you closer to his body. You hugged Shawn back, slightlyalarmed at how tightly he was holding you, just out of nowhere.

“I’m so sorry you had to face them all by yourselflove, I saw the videos, there were a lot and fuck, I should have came with youand protected-“

“Shawn, it’s fine.” You said, silencing him with a quickkiss. You didn’t give a fuck if he was sick. “Made it out alive didn’t i?” You joked,opening your arms gesturing towards your intact body. This didn’t make Shawn laugh.

“I’m just so scared something happens to you.” Hepouted slightly, and you looked at him, heart swelling from the small downwardsdip of the corners of his mouth, to his messy brown curls. He looked like a teddybear.

“You are so sweet.” You laid your arms on hisshoulders and played softly with his hair. “But I’m absolutely okay, okay?” Yousaid to him reassuringly, making sure to see the worry in his brown eyesdisappear.

“Yeah, okay.” He said, arms going around your waist toengulf you in a hug once more.

“Ah, shit.” You suddenly said. “Forgot bowtie pasta.”

“I’ll go with you.” Shawn said.

“Wha-no, you’re sick.”

But he was already squeezing your hand and pulling youout the driveway. His hand never left yours the whole time you spent outside ofthe house.

#blurb #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes paparazzi #shawn mendes imagine #request

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wordsandshawn · 6 years

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Before Now - chapter 7

Previous Chapters

Disclaimer: I know nothing about photography, but making Skylar interested in photography was the best way I could think of to make some of the main plot points work out, so please just bare with me.

May 2018

Greg doesn’t know about the calls to Shawn. I don’t mean to keep secrets, but I know that if he found out he would be upset, and he wouldn’t approve. Besides, I’ve only spoken to Shawn a few times over the past couple of months. It’s really not a big deal and I don’t want it to be blown out of proportion. Greg has the tendency to do that sometimes. He’s not just protective. He can be possessive. I know it’s only because he loves me, but I don’t want to deal with it over Shawn, so I keep secrets.

Shawn invited me to a show he’s playing a couple hours away from my campus, and I haven’t told Greg. Under any other circumstance, I would have definitely said no, just like I did the last time Shawn invited me out to his show, but Shawn’s offer this time was too big for me to turn down. He invited me to come out and photograph the show because his normal photographer wouldn’t be able to be there. Up until now, my main focus in photography has been portraits, so I don’t have much experience at all with concert photography. I’ve done a few events at my University for some of the organizations, and I love photographing people in general. I’ve never been opposed to concert photography, especially because I love live music. I just didn’t have an opportunity to try my hand at it until now.

Even at the risk of Greg being mad at me, I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t say yes to this opportunity. This could be my career one day, I’m not going to say no to this just because Greg might be mad and might not support me.

I tell Shawn I’d love to shoot the show, and he sends an email of information. I make up a lame excuse to Kristen, telling her that one of my photography professors had connections and got me this opportunity to shoot the concert. She’s completely ecstatic, especially when I tell her we’ll get in for free. I’m still trying to figure out the details of how I’m going to do this without her completely freaking out, but I didn’t trust anyone else enough to ask them to go with me and drive me. Even though she can be a crazy fan, I still trust her with my life, and I trust her with this.

The weekend of the show quickly approaches. I tell Greg I have a photography project to work on Saturday, and Kristen and I drive the two hours to the festival. She can’t stop talking about Shawn the entire two-hour drive there. I’m not exactly looking forward to her reaction when she actually sees him in person.

“We’re probably going to meet Shawn,” I tell her this when we’re about five minutes out from the festival grounds. The only reason I’m telling her is because I’m hoping that by giving her some time to prepare, her reaction will be a little less extreme, but knowing Kristen, that’s probably not going to happen.

“WHAT?” I’m afraid for a second that she’s going to drive off the road accidentally in shock.

“We’re probably going to meet him,” I repeat, even though I know she heard me the first time.

“How?” She’s still in shock.

“I told you, I’m photographing him, so I’m pretty sure that means we’ll meet him.”

“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I knew you’d freak out, just like this.” She continues to freak out and is still freaking out while we’re trying to figure out where to go. It’s a little after 2pm when we arrive. I tell the guard at the front my name, and I have to show him my ID, but then he lets us in and tells us where to go, directions to Shawn’s trailer.

Now Kristen is freaking out even more after she heard we’re going to Shawn’s trailer. I’m trying to calm my own nerves, wondering how I even got here, and what I think I’m doing. If Greg finds out, he’s going to be pissed, and I don’t even fully understand why Shawn would ask me here in the first place, after everything that happened with us, and after the way I acted toward him. We’re at the door to Shawn’s trailer, and Kristen is about to faint from excitement. I knock. The door opens, revealing someone who looks familiar, although I don’t think I’ve ever met him, “Hey,” I force myself to speak, “My name’s Skylar Evans. I’m here to photograph Shawn.”

Recognition crosses his face, and he lets the door swing all the way open. “Of course, come in. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He sticks out his hand, “I’m Andrew Gertler, Shawn’s manager.” And that’s why he looks so familiar. I’ve heard his name so many times but just didn’t put it together in my mind before he introduced himself.

“Nice to meet you,” I say. Andrew extends his hand to shake Kristen’s, and for once, she doesn’t seem like she has a lot to say.

Shawn strides over to the doorway and pulls me into a hug. “I’m really glad you came.” He says, sounding genuine. Now Kristen really has nothing to say, as Shawn introduces himself to her, despite the fact that he probably knows he needs no introduction, and of course, Kristen goes in for a hug, although, thankfully she doesn’t scream. I think she’s in too much shock to realize that this is not my first-time meeting Shawn.

Andrew speaks before anyone else gets the chance to, and I’m glad for that. “You can leave your things in the trailer. Here are lanyards for you both to wear.” He hands us each a laminated lanyard that says, SHAWN MENDES CREW with ALL ACCESS right underneath. “This will give you access to pretty much anywhere on the festival grounds, so please don’t lose them. Shawn goes on in an hour. You’re welcome to explore or hang out and just let us know if you need anything.” His phone starts ringing. He pulls it out of his pocket, and I glance at Kristen who looks at me with wide eyes, like can you believe this, I just nod a little.

Andrew apologizes, saying he has to take the call and excuses himself. Shawn introduces us to the others in the room, most of them are his band members. They looked like they were practicing something, and I don’t want to be in the way, so I tell Shawn, “I think we’ll just go walk around for a bit.” He nods, and I put down my camera bag, taking my camera before forcing Kristen outside with me.

As soon as we get outside, she turns to me. “How are you so chill? I’m freaking out.” She says, actually starting to hyperventilate.

“Breathe,” I say, before walking off to see what else is going on here. I spend the next forty minutes wandering around with Kristen and taking photos, generally enjoying the atmosphere.

The goal for tonight is to get some solid photos, but also to be able to put together around a thirty-second video for the performance. I’ve roped Kristen into helping me, which worked out well because I had my own assistant in a way.

I snap a few photos of Shawn before he steps on the stage, and then once he’s onstage, I’m able to shoot from sidestage and even directly behind the stage. At one point, I even make my way down to the crowd, standing in the space between the stage and the barriers to keep the crowd back. His set is far too short for my liking, and I fear that I haven’t gotten good enough shots, but when his performance is over, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Shawn’s sweaty, but clearly high off the adrenaline of the show, and I’m surprised I’m feeling very much the same as he is at this moment. Taking photos and feeling the energy radiating from the crowd was exhilarating. A feeling I haven’t felt before, but can’t help wanting to feel more.

When Shawn steps off stage, I manage to see him for a few seconds. I tell him the performance was great, and he asks how it was for me shooting it. Its honestly the most normal conversation, but everything feels so strange. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s just Shawn, that he’s Shawn. This is so out of context for the Shawn I know, for the Shawn that I’ve always known that its strange for me.

I just watched his performance and realized that he’s amazing at what he does. I knew that he was good. I’ve always known that he was good, even when he used to force me to sing with him when we were little kids putting on shows for our little siblings, it was always clear he was good.

This was the first time I saw him live since the very beginning. When he was first starting out, my whole family would always go out to support him, but after his career blew up, I started trying to avoid any attention that came with knowing Shawn Mendes, which meant I stopped seeing him live or being seen with him in public.

He hugs both me and Kristen, and I don’t even complain that he’s sweaty. I ask if he’s going to stay to see the other performers, and he only shakes his head, and I see a hint of sadness in his eyes, although I’m not sure where it came from or why he’d be sad after a performance like that in front of so many people. “We have to head out to catch a flight tonight, in a couple hours actually.” His crew is rushing around getting ready to go, and he glances over at them before looking back at us, “I wish we could stay, but I have another festival tomorrow night.” That’s crazy. He’ll be in another city tomorrow playing another show. “Thanks for coming out, though. I hope it was worth it for you.” He genuinely sounds grateful, even though I should be the one thanking him.

“Thanks for inviting me, I really hope that you like the photos.”

“I’m sure I will. I saw you during the show, you were everywhere.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Thanks, I really do appreciate you asking me to shoot this show. It means a lot.” I say, trying to convey my gratitude.

He just nods with a smile, like it’s no big deal, even though it’s a huge deal to me. I excuse myself, stepping back and picking up my camera for a few last-minute shots. Kristen starts talking to him for a few seconds. It’s taken pretty much this entire time, but she finally seems to have regained her composure. I take a few photos of them talking before filming the interactions and some of the cleanup going on around as Shawn and his whole crew get ready to leave.

Kristen and I decide to stay and watch a few of the other performers before heading back home. I put all my gear away and find Shawn to say goodbye to him.

“Thanks for coming,” He says as he hugs me goodbye. He tells Kristen it was nice to meet her and she basically swoons.

“Are you driving back tonight?” He asks and even Kristen is taken aback by this inquiry.

I nod, “We’re gonna stay for a while, but yeah we’re going home tonight.”

“Drive safely, okay?” He says with genuine care in his voice, and Kristen nods since she’s the one driving. “Text me so I know you got home safe?” He’s looking at me as he says this, and I nod, saying goodbye and dragging Kristen away.

She’s asking about what just happened, asking if I have his number, and about a million other questions. But I rush us both out to the crowd of people, ignoring her questions and glad for a distraction.

I almost made it out of there without Kristen realizing anything. At first, she was too excited to notice that Shawn and I weren’t meeting for the first time, and then everything else we talked about was all business, nothing too out of the ordinary. I could explain it all away, saying something about how I’m sure he talks to all his photographers that way, and he’s just a friendly person. But that last one isn’t something a singer would tell a photographer he just met. No matter how I try to frame it, I don’t think I’ll be able to explain that one, and Kristen is going to be looking for the truth.

For now, the questions are left unanswered, and she’s momentarily distracted by the crowd and the music, which means I have about an hour of complete and utter bliss of live music at a festival before I have to find a way to explain to my roommate that I grew up with her favorite singer.

chapter 8

#before now #Shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Peter Raul Mendes

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yxsanha · 7 years

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Tour Surprises

Summary: You hadn’t seen Shawn in over 5 months and you couldn’t handle it, so Geoff helped plan the perfect surprise for Shawn.

Requested: Not really, but my groupchat girls wanted some fluff

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None, other than being disgustingly fluffy and sappy at one point.

masterlist

request

You hadn’t heard from Shawn all morning and that was odd. He normally would send you a text when he woke up, but not today. You worried, did he know you were here. This was supposed to be a surprise that only you and Geoff had known about.

Fixing the zipper of your boots, you took in one last deep breath before you stood to look yourself over in the mirror. Your black lace buttoned shirt accentuated your curves in just the way he liked, your light washed jeans hugged your thighs, and your black thigh high boots fit your legs perfectly. Your hair looked perfect, considering it took you an hour to get all your products in your hair to get the natural curls to stay. Your makeup done, probably a little too heavily for the occasion, but you were so excited that you couldn’t help to just keep adding.

The walk out of the hotel and down to your awaiting car felt like forever. You were a complete ball of nerves and couldn’t wait for the moment you would see him again. It had been almost 5 months since you had seen Shawn in person and he had no idea you were here. The facetime calls and late night texts were never enough for you. You hated the idea of long distance, but you loved the idea of being with Shawn. You knew he was the love of your life and he always told you he loved you with all of his heart.

You arrived to the arena and saw the crowds of thousands of people waiting outside the doors around the entire building. Geoff had been texting you all morning about today’s plans. You sent him a quick text when your car came to a complete stop, to let him know that you were there. He replied quickly saying that the security guards knew you were going to be arriving and that they knew to let you into the back hallways. You took a deep breath before thanking the driver and heading to the back doors. They let you in after a bit of convincing and told you which room to head to.

Walking through the back hallways of a huge arena scared you. You didn’t know how Shawn could do this every day. It was incredibly overwhelming. You saw pictures of the players on the sports team who owned the arena hung in the hallways. You found the room saved for you and almost ran into Geoff once you opened the door.

“Oh shit, sorry Geoff. I didn’t mean to almost run you over. I’m just super nervous today. I mean-“ you began to ramble, something you did a lot of when you get nervous.

“Hang on a minute. I don’t mean to interrupt you, but, I don’t have a lot of time. Shawn is a couple hallways over so don’t leave this room whatever you do. I managed to sneak away just long enough to come find you. I’ll send you a text when you can come to get in line for the meet and greet. I’ll send you a picture of a map and the way to get to the meet and greet area.” Geoff breathed quickly, an indicator that he must’ve ran to get to this room quickly and he just spoke everything on limited amounts of breath. “Now I need to go get back to your boyfriend, so I will see you later. Remember do not leave this room. Oh, and by the way, you look nice. Shawn will be so happy to see you.” He finished the sentence and ran out the door again.

You grabbed one of the water bottles sitting on the table and found a chair to sit in. You scrolled through twitter and completely lost track of time until your phone buzzed with a text from Geoff. You threw the empty water bottle in the trash can next to the door and fixed your outfit one last time before finding your way out to the meet and greet area.

You found your way pretty easily thanks to Geoff making you the map. You made your way to the end of the line of fans, mostly girls, but the occasional dads or supportive boyfriends stood in line. You waited at the end for what felt like an eternity, your heart beating even faster as you got closer to the curtain. You could see people looking at you, trying to figure out why you were dressed more fancily than you should have for a concert and why you didn’t have a VIP lanyard on you. You mentally scratched down that some teenage girls didn’t whisper very well.

Before you knew it, you heard familiar voices talking behind the curtain. “Okay Shawn, I guess we’ve only got like one more person out there.”

You heard a quiet sigh leaving Shawn’s lips, “But I’m fucking tired and all I want to do right now is go back to the green room and call Y/N. I miss her a lot today.” Shawn wasn’t the best at whispering either apparently.

“Shawn, come on, one last person. As soon as you’re done here you can go call her, I promise.” A sigh left Shawn again and that’s when a woman slipped halfway out of the curtain to let you know that you could come in. You peeked behind the curtain before fulling walking in and you noticed Shawn with his back turned to you and talking to Geoff, still having a small argument.

Your hands were incredibly sweaty and your breathing was uneven. You closed your eyes real quick and settled your breaths. Shawn stood there in his typical black jeans, and your favorite red button up shirt with the ends of the sleeves slightly rolled. Your heart began beating a million beats per minute.

“You know, this isn’t any way you should be when a fan walks in, I want a complete refund. I don’t want to see your back to me and you arguing with someone as nice as Geoff.” Your lips curved into a smirk when Shawn began to turn around. You could see him take a breath in, getting ready to come back with a slick comeback, before his face instantly froze. You stood there waiting for some reaction for what felt like years before his face pulled into the widest smile you had ever seen on his face. You could hear the camera clicking to the side of you but honestly you didn’t care. Shawn’s arms flew out as he ran towards you, his arms wrapping around you just under your butt and he lifted you and spun you around. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your legs wrapping around his waist. He let you down and grabbed the sides of your face and stared at you for a moment.

“Wow, you’re really here right now, right? I’m not completely going insane and hallucinating, right?”

Your head rolled back with a laugh; the same laugh that made Shawn’s heart beat faster. “Yes baby, I’m really here right now.”

Shawn pulled your face closer to his, your lips connecting in an electrifying kiss. Your hands grabbed at the collar on his shirt, keeping him as close to you as you possibly could. Your heart never wanted you to let go of him again. Pulling away, both of you rested your foreheads together, your eyes never wanting to open in fear of this moment being all a dream. His breath fanned over your face and your face began to hurt from smiling so much.

“Baby, I just can’t believe you’re here right now. These last five months have been awful. I couldn’t wait to see you and hold you again. I’m so glad that it’s sooner than we had thought it would be. I didn’t know how much longer I could go without seeing you.” His eyes closed again, his breathing ragged, “I missed the little things. I missed waking up to your beautiful shining face every morning. I missed playing with your hair and getting my fingers stuck in the curls. I missed the little snores that come out of you when you’re sick. I missed the snorts when you laugh at the dumbest things. I missed seeing you dance around my condo in one of my shirts and your shorts and socks when you’re bored and have nothing else to do. I missed watching you sitting on my bathroom counter doing your makeup. I even missed finding your hair on the floor because I know that means I’m home and I know I’m not home if I’m not with you, and I want nothing more than to be home with you. I want to spend every day lying next to you in bed. I want to see you without your makeup, your hair in a messy bun, and your glasses on you every night, and I want that to be the last thing I see before I go to sleep. I love you, so much.”

Your eyes glossed over, tears threatening to spill over. You brought your hand up and gently brushed your fingers along his hair line, twirling one of his curls around your finger. “Shawn, baby, I love you. I missed seeing you at the condo. I missed curling up and watching movie with you. I missed our Harry Potter marathons so much. It’s not the same condo without you there. I want to be with you from now on. I missed you. I know the tour is almost over and I want to be with you for the rest of the time. I already talked to your sister; she said she would stop by and check on the condo every day. I want to be here, experiencing this with you.”

“I thought you would never say those words. I didn’t want to seem too needy but I’ve been asking Geoff when you could come join us.” A chuckle brushed past his lips.

“Well, I think you should actually thank Geoff because he helped me do this whole thing. And he was the one who pulled the strings so I could join you for the remainder of tour.”

He turned and gave Geoff a smile and mouthed the words, you’re the best and I owe you big time.

“I hate to rush you guys, but Mr. Mendes does need to start getting ready for the show.” A man poked his head into the room.

“We haven’t even taken our proper meet and greet photos yet.” A pouted lip slipped out on Shawn’s face. The two of you did your poses and laughed as he led you back to his green room. You two spent the remainder of the pre-show time laughing and catching up on what you missed since you talked the day before.

Shawn held your hand all the way to the side of the stage, never letting go for a second. He gave your knuckles a light kiss before he let your hand go to grab his guitar. “They’ll lead you to the sound board area where you’ll get to sit and watch me. Oh and baby, you look amazing tonight.” His big hands covered your cheeks as he grabbed your face to give you one last kiss.

“Good luck out there stud muffin.” You winked at him and blew him a kiss as you turned to walk away.

Before you could step away, one of his hands landed on your butt with a smack. “We have a lot to make up for tonight, I hope you’re ready.” He pointed at you and winked as he walked out on stage, screams erupting from the crowd. You knew you were in for a long night ahead of you.

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes one shot #mine #writing

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shawnskeds · 7 years

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Adrenaline Rush {S.M}

requested// imagine where you and Shawn are good friends and you’re giving him a pep talk and in the heat of the moment he kisses you

author’s note// yanno what’s a good show? law and order svu. yanno what’s a horrible movie? to the bone, highly offensive, absolutely horrible

masterlist

“Man, it’s a pretty huge crowd out there.” Shawn was basically shaking. You had never ever seen him this nervous for a show. It was almost unheard of for him to be this nervous. He was so at home on stage, he seemed more nervous just walking down the street to get lunch than getting on stage in front of all of those people.

“It isn’t that bad, Shawn.” You smirked at him, pulling your self up to sit on the counter were he was supposed to get ready, but he wasn’t using it. He was sitting on the grey sofa near the left of the dressing room he was provided tuning the first guitar he used on stage.

“I never said it was bad.” He looked up at you for a second, a grin teasing the corners of his lips. “It’s just a big crowd.” He was messing around with the A string, seemingly not being able to quite get it right. It was probably his fumbling fingers. But if you had to hear a flat A one more time you were going to rip your ears off.

“Do you want some help?” You winced as he plucked the string one more time, sounding flatter than it did the last time. He shook his head rather vigorously, which she expected. He was rather particular about how his acoustic was tuned whenever he would go on stage. He wanted to make sure everything was absolutely perfect every time he stepped foot onto that stage. You knew it was probably rather stupid to ask. He’d never let you touch that guitar before a show.

“I’ll be fine.” He was probably nervous because this was his final concert, in his hometown nonetheless, all of his friends were out in that audience. People from his high school, family members, so many people he knew were out in that crowd, and even though it was just as big as all of the other concerts he had played throughout the tour, maybe even smaller than some.

“You look like you’re about to have a panic attack.” You scoffed, pulling your legs underneath you. He just smiled and shook his head a little bit, focusing way too much on that guitar. You thanked your lucky stars he wasn’t as insane about his electric guitar.

“Why are you in here with me and not out there.” He nodded his head towards the door, referencing the audience. You shuddered just thinking about sitting out there with a shitton of kids you went to high school with and hated. They all did sports and were rather popular back in the day, and not that they were mean to you, but Shawn’s old group of friends from high school were not your favorite people. You had always been close friends with him since freshman year when you were both placed in an intro to art class and you were sat with one another because they both couldn’t draw to save their lives. He was close with all of those other people back before he was famous, but he started to notice a lot of them only made an effort to stay close with his busy schedule only due to his intense rising fame. He didn’t mind all that much, but he didn’t make quite as much an effort. As for you and Shawn, you had stayed close from the moment you had met up until now. It was almost funny when the others out there would post photos calling Shawn their best friend, when in reality you were. She was just that random girl who played violin in advanced orchestra who they had no idea why Shawn hung out with her.

Still hung out with her. And let her come with him on his summer north american tour and even come with him on some of his European dates.

It still warmed your heart that those girls in that group that he had hung out with, those girls on the dance team and volleyball team, the girls he had over the years kissed and fooled around with, those girls who were everything that you thought that you weren’t were second to you.

“Those are your friends, not mine.” You shot back, expecting to get the usual, ‘I know you aren’t their biggest fans, but you only have to be nice. They aren’t that bad.’ That was the spiel you usually got whenever you complained about having to associate with his friends. But this time, he just shrugged, probably too preoccupied before this show that he, for some reason, was totally freaked out about.

“You are not wrong.” He strummed the last chord that you couldn’t remember the name of and he looked almost satisfied. But he was never completely satisfied with his guitar, but you had gotten used to it. He looked up at you, actually looking at you for the first time other than some upward glances as he was tuning. A small smile slowly stretching across his lips, and you started to feel almost self conscious. You were only wearing jean shorts and the long sleeve concert t-shirt since you had to help out with the VIP stuff since you were there that early. You had kicked off your black high top converse earlier, so you were only in some ankle socks, and you felt so incredibly exposed, which was dumb, Shawn was your best friend, you shouldn’t feel this way.

Even if you had been harboring some incredibly low-key feelings for him since the eleventh grade. But you never acted on them since he never hinted. So everything stayed just about the same.

“I’m lucky to have you.” He smiled, only taking a few more moments to take all of you in before you were interrupted by a knock, most likely his manager, which he knew was code for ‘time to get the hell out here stop tuning that damned guitar.’ You were glad you didn’t have to say anything sappy back, you were incredibly horrible at those kind of things, but Shawn knew you loved and appreciated him. “It appears it is time to go.” He grabbed his guitar and held his hand out for you to take. You looked at him puzzled but he only smiled.

“Tonight I’m gonna need you out there cheering me on from offstage. I’m about to puke.” He chuckled, and you wearily took his hand, hating going out there with all of the adults and Geoff. You really didn’t like Geoff all that much either. He honestly just really irritated you. Then again, everyone did. Shawn led you over to the door of his dressing room and the minute he opened it, you pulled your hand away, your arm dropping to your side. You both quickly made your way to the front by the stage where he got the spiel, got the speech on how he was gonna do amazing, and how there were tons of girls out there to see him. They did the chant, and he was just about ready to get out on that stage. “Hey!” Shawn called out, waving you over close to him. You had been out here a couple of times before he went on stage, but he had never done this. You furrowed your eyebrows, incredibly confused to say the least.

“What do you need?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest. “Don’t you have a crowd to preform for?” You teased, nudging him just a bit with your right elbow. He gave you a small smile, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. They did that sometimes.

“Okay, remember when I would preform at school talent shows and small concerts and stuff and I would get super nervous?” He started, starting to fiddle with the strap of his guitar. You nodded quickly, hoping he’d get on with it, knowing it’d be you that was being yelled at for holding him up. “Well, I’m gonna need one of those pep talks you used to give me.” He spit out, almost nervous that you would say no. But without even a yes, you got into the stance, straightening your spine, placing your hands on his shoulders, locking your knees into place. You hadn’t done this in what felt like forever.

“Okay Mendes, listen up, you are amazing you are talented, you are going to kill it. There are a shitton of people out there who payed a crapload of money to see you, and you are going to put on one damn good show. Who cares about those kids from school who may or may not judge you, you are the pop star, they aren’t. You are attractive you are talented, and you are going to kill it. Okay?” You shook him a little at the end and he quickly nodded.

“Okay.” He agreed. But what he did next was what shocked you, what caused your heart to literally drop nineteen stories down into your stomach. He pressed his lips onto yours, but only for a couple of seconds. It sure did feel like half of a century, maybe even a full one. All the loud and all the screams from the audience weren’t even audible. His lips on yours and everything didn’t matter. Until he pulled away and he was starting to get dragged back onstage. “We can talk um… After?” He stuttered as he was walking onstage. All you could do was nod.

You were physically in shock, your whole body tingling as you simply stood offstage, not really in anyone’s way. Everyone was bustling around, but all you could think about was how your best friend just kissed you, and it sure as hell meant something.

“What the hell was that?” Geoff asked, and you looked to see him crinkling his nose almost in disgust. He wasn’t exactly your biggest fan.

“No idea.” The concert literally flew by, you heard Geoff say a couple of more things to you, but your head didn’t quite register them. You heard the setlist played out, you even saw Shawn run backstage to get to the smaller stage. You were just, shocked. The only word you could think of was shocked.

But, like clock work every night, Shawn walked offstage after treat you better and wrapped you in a hug, pulling you close to his body, you could feel all of his sweat and heat radiating off of his body.

“Okay, I can’t talk right now, I have to go see my friends, and so do you so you also can’t talk right now.” You grumbled as you wrapped your arms around him, not caring at all he was a gross sweaty mess. “But, I will tell you, I have some hardcore feelings for you. Which we will discuss later.” He shrugged at the last part, and you pulled away for a moment, his arms still supporting your waist.

“Well, that works out well, because I have some hardcore feelings for you too.” A warm smile spread across his lips, and he pressed yet another kiss to yours. And it was even better the second time.

author’s note// I LOVE this it’s poor writing but the plot is so sweet and tbh relatable anyways hi school started this week i hope i die soon

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years

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Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 11

HAPPY EFFING 2019 YOU GUYS!!! hope yall had a great night, mine was pretty chill but honestly i loved it haha. anyways, here is part 11 to celebrate the new year!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

Going home the next morning feels like going to my own funeral. Everyone is so quiet, no one dares to say a word to us and I guess this has something to do with how we look and act.

On our way to the airport we are basically inseparable, we never let go of each other’s hand, I’m so clingy normally I would feel ashamed, but Shawn is the exact same. I’m constantly on the verge of crying, but I’m trying my best to look tough and I also don’t want any photos of me with red and puffy eyes. We have to make it look like we are more in love than ever, which is kinda true, but also, we only have hours left together.

Shawn doesn’t try to change my mind though I really thought he would at least make an attempt in the morning hoping I softened through the night, but for my biggest surprise, he says nothing. Instead, he is trying to use our final hours together wisely just like me. Neither of us sleeps on the flight, we share a seat and watch the clouds swimming under the jet in silence, we share kisses from time to time, but it’s mostly just us silently enjoying having the other one close for the last time.

Shawn cancelled on our last appointment on Sunday, he called Andrew and told him he isn’t feeling too well so the interview got postponed to a later date. I’m happy I don’t have to see him once more, saying goodbye is already hard enough, I don’t know if I would have enough strength in me to spend one more day with him without breaking down in tears.

Arriving back to New York Shawn puts on his best fake smile as he takes selfies with the fans waiting for him while I go straight to our car. Ten minutes later he follows and we are on our way to my place. My stomach is in a knot, my throat is dry as I’m staring out of the window, Shawn’s hand still holding mine and I’m thinking about what I should say to him before walking out of his life. I’m cursing myself for making it this hard, I should have been smarter.

When the driver stops in front of the café, our usual spot he suddenly gets out of the car and stands next to it as Shawn turns to me. I guess he asked him to give us some privacy beforehand.

“I guess this is our goodbye,” I mumble under my breath, already feeling the tears dwelling in my eyes.

“I want you to promise me one thing,” he starts looking into my eyes and I nod. “Call me if you need help. With anything. Even if it’s the slightest problem ever, I want you to know that you can always count on me, okay?”

Feeling a tear rolling down my cheek I smile at him sadly as I nod.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“And… if you change your mind in the future… about us… just call me,” he adds and I can’t help but chuckle. He did try for one last time after all.

Cupping his face I pull him into one last kiss and it turns out longer and more passionate than what I planned, but I don’t mind. I let his tongue dominate mine, he is nibbling down on my lip gently and I moan into his mouth, all kind of emotions mixing in me at the same time.

“I love you,” he whispers to me once we part and he rests his forehead against mine. I’m shutting my eyes closed tight and I fight the urge to say it back immediately. If I say it now, I feel like I won’t be able to get out of the car and leave him behind. “It’s fine,” he smiles at me when I open my eyes. “I’m happy I got to meet you. Take care, Naya.”

“You too, Shawn,” I smile as I reach for the handle and using everything in me I turn away from him and get out of the car.

I avoid looking at him one more time, I just start walking. I hear the driver getting back into the car and when I hear the car’s engine starting again I turn around and watch the black Range Rover drive away and then disappear from my sight.

My days without Shawn are just one dark blur from the moment I get home after Paris. All my stuff gets delivered to my place and he even let me keep the dresses I wore to the fashion shows. I want to call him to say thank you so badly, but I decide not to.

The next Friday we have the Assembly, everyone gets their new deals and clients, except me. Joshua explains to me that I need to lay low for a while, so I get signed up for shifts in the Nook as a hostess and I’m honestly happy I don’t have to get back to my usual work. I don’t think I would be able to work with another client so soon.

I spend a lot of time with Elisa and the kids. I volunteer to babysit as much as possible, and when Riley asks about Shawn my heart breaks every time. I tell her she’ll meet him again soon, and I hate myself for lying to a kid, but I guess these lies are making me feel better as well. Playing with the thought of seeing him again occurs to me often and it’s soothing to think about possible alternative universes where we are still seeing each other.

But no matter what I do, how hard I’m trying to keep myself occupied nothing really eases the numbing pain I constantly feel in my chest. I spend all my freetime in my room, mostly sleeping, because this is the only time I can avoid thinking about Shawn, but sometime my brain finds a way to torture me in my dreams too, because I often wake up in the middle of the night looking for him besides me only to find no one in bed with me. I usually can’t fall back to sleep when this happens so I just lie in bed awake, staring at the ceiling until the Sun comes up.

The money gets transferred to me on Monday, after we parted and in the following days I do what I’ve been doing for months. I transfer almost the whole amount to different accounts that belong to people that I owe to. When I finish I have just the right amount of money to get through the month, but at least I have the thought that I took a huge step closer to my freedom with this money as I was able to pay back a lot more than I usually am capable of.

It’s the third week now and I’m somehow feeling more… normal. Everyday things don’t take as much effort as they did in the past weeks. I’m on my way to the Nook for my night shift, Elisa is with her client tonight and I’m just hoping Josie is in tonight so I can hang out with her in my breaks.

The dim lighting and loud music with a chest banging bass feels like the best place on Earth tonight. I woke up a bit dizzy today, felt like I was about to throw up, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I ate a whole pack of salty crackers before going to be and my stomach just couldn’t deal with it properly. But now I’m all good.

I put my stuff down and get changed before sitting in front of my mirror to put on some more makeup and my black pixie cut wig that helps me keep my identity hidden and no one recognizes me as Shawn’s mystery girlfriend, who is by the way very much missed lately.

Yes, I kind of got obsessed with reading gossip sites since we parted our ways, I’m very ashamed of it, but I couldn’t resist. We went from one hundred to zero pretty quickly and I needed a daily dose of info about him to keep me sane, this is when I started browsing these sites and searched for his name. I read articles about him, saw paparazzi photos of him and the guys leaving places, he apparently spent a lot of time with them after our split and I checked his social media profiles regularly. Every time I saw a new post from him my heart started racing and stared at the photos he posted for an hour at least. I’m not proud of the way I’ve been acting, but I think I’ve been doing better in the past couple days and I can actually see a time when I’m not thinking about him for an entire day.

“Honey! I didn’t know you’d be in tonight!”

Josie’s chirpy voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I see her in the mirror, standing behind me in her neon pink dress that she paired with blue thigh high boots and a pearly necklace. Honestly, I have no idea where she gets these stuff.

I smile at her putting the eye-pencil down and turning around I get up to give her a hug.

“Hi J, I’m glad to see you.”

“You are looking better tonight, Sweetheart. How are you?” She gives me a knowing look and I just shrug my shoulders.

After the Assembly I stayed for half a shift at the club, but I wasn’t feeling too good. Josie found me crying in the bathroom and I told her everything. She listened to me whine about how much I’m missing Shawn and that I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I love him. I cried for long minutes choking on the words and cursing myself for being so stupid. When I was finally breathing somehow normally Josie gave me the best pep-talk of history. She didn’t try to tell me to just forget about it and stop thinking about him, because it’s obviously the shittiest thing to say. She sat with me on the floor and told me:

“I know how much it hurts. It will hurt, for a long time, but you are strong enough to put up with it. Breaking doesn’t mean you will never feel better, it’s just a temporary thing now. Cry for as long as you want, scream or shout, whatever makes you feel better, but also be patient with yourself. You will get through this and if in weeks you still feel like you can’t get over him, we will figure something out. But time can heal everything and I believe you’ll feel better soon.”

She covered for me for another hour until I somehow covered my puffy eyes and stopped crying. I knew she was right and I just did what she told and I decided to be patient with myself. Three weeks into my No-Shawn life and I’m starting to feel better, just like she told me I would.

“I’m doing okay,” I say as I let go of her and she fixes my wig a bit giving me a proud smile.

“Good. You look stunning, I’m sure you’ll break some hearts tonight.” She winks at me giving my arm a squeeze.

Half an hour later I’m out with my best fake smile as I serve cocktails to a group of men sitting in the VIP section in their expensive suits. I let my mind go blank, I only focus on the music that’s blasting through the place and when I’m not talking to a guest I’m just staring at the stage, watching the girls perform.

It’s around 1 am when the suited men order fruit flavored shots and I walk over to the bar. The bartender places ten shots on a tray and the deep red liquors dance in the small glasses as I’m walking over to their table. When no one is watching I lean closer and sniff at one of the glasses. I love the sweet smell of the syrup we use to make these shots, but this time, when the smell hits my nose my stomach takes a double flip.

I stop for a moment as I feel like I’m about to throw up. The tray almost loses balance on my hand but I quickly recover and catch it from falling. I close my eyes for a moment taking a deep breath as I feel my stomach growl in disagreement.

I serve the shots and rush to the back as fast as possible. As I’m on my way to the bathroom Josie steps out one of the dressing rooms.

“Honey, everything alright?” she asks, but I just shake my head and run past her, right into the bathroom where I barely reach a toilet before throwing up.

I hear Josie coming in and a moment later two hands reach for my wig and she is keeping the hair out of my face while I put everything out from me. When it seems like I’m done she disappears for a moment only to return with a glass of water and some paper towels in her hands.

“Thanks,” I choke out wiping my mouth and flushing the toilet.

“What happened?” she asks with concern all over her face. I’m sweating and I need a few more seconds before I find my voice.

“I don’t know. I smelled one of those fruity shots and just… lost it,” I breathe out still panting a bit.

“Have you been feeling nauseous?”

“In the morning yeah, but I didn’t throw up. I thought I just ate too much crackers before going to bed.” I finally get up from the floor and walk to the sink to wash my hands and mouth. My throat is burning and just the thought of throwing up makes me want to vomit again, but I keep it under control this time.

“Honey, I hate to ask this but… did you use protection with him?”

I freeze the moment these words leave her mouth. She is standing behind me, the water is still running from the tap as I lock eyes with her through the mirror. My stomach drops and my heart starts beating crazily as my thoughts drift back to Paris.

He did not use a condom, because I told him not to. Because I told him I would get a morning after pill, which I had in my purse, but with everything happening between and around us… it slipped my mind. Therefore, we had unprotected sex and I forgot to take the pill afterwards, meaning…

Meaning I now have a chance of being pregnant.

My hands are shaking, I feel like I’m about to throw up again but I’m ready to swallow it back as my unsteady fingers flip through my small calendar I usually keep with me. Josie is standing right behind me as we are standing in the corner of the room, girls are chattering happily in the back not even knowing what is going on here.

When I finally find the right month I look for the red marks, I’m clinging onto the last straws of hope, but when I find them, I almost start crying.

I mark the days when I should start my period with empty circles and then when I actually get it I usually just fill them in so I know which day is the first of my cycle. The damn circles are staring back at me from the previous week, meaning I should have gotten my period eight days ago. Sometimes I’m late, but only with maximum two days. Never eight. Never.

“Is that what I think it is?” Josie whispers and I can’t speak right now, I just nod my head. I close the calendar and show it back to my bag turning to Josie as I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“What do I do now?” I ask with wide eyes. The thought of being pregnant is so foreign me at this moment and I think my mind hasn’t really processed what this means.

“You have to make a test or go to the doctor. Being late can mean a lot, maybe it’s just the stress.”

I nod my head think about it. She is right, I’ve had some pretty stressful weeks behind me, it wouldn’t be surprising if my hormones were all over the place and make my period late somehow.

Josie tries to convince me to tell Joshua that I’m not feeling well, which is true, but I choose to finish my shift. When I get off at three am I’m already a mental wreck, but there I have to face some more waiting since nothing is open at this time.

When I arrive home Elisa is sleeping in her room, she has a morning class tomorrow. I take a quick shower, put on some clean pj’s and crawl into bed with my phone. I open the contacts and I start scrolling down until my finger lingers through a name. The urge to call Shawn is tempting, I almost press on the button, but not even knowing what I would tell him I lock the phone and put it to my nightstand. I can’t talk to him until I find out for sure.

For my biggest surprise I sleep pretty okay. I set an alarm last night so I can go to the pharmacy in time to get a pregnancy test and do it while Elisa is in school. I keep my cool as I run to the nearest pharmacy and try to look as unbothered as possible when I pay for the test. I hide the box in my bag and I’m dying to finally get back home and take it.

Time has never went by slower than at this moment as I’m sitting on the floor of our small and messy bathroom. I watch as the numbers change on my phone’s screen and I almost start thinking time has stopped, but I know it’s just in my mind.

I turn my head trying to make myself busy, so I pick up a set of false lashes from next to the bathtub and hold it up in front of my face. It can be mine, but I think it’s Elisa’s. It’s longer than what I usually use. Setting it to the edge of the tub I stare at it as if I’m waiting for it to start talking to me and tell its story. Waiting is really making me go crazy.

I stand up, carefully not looking at the stick at the edge of the sink as I throw the lashes into the small trashcan and I start sorting all the makeup products that are everywhere. I already know what’s mine and what’s Elisa’s, we have lived together long enough to get used to each other and know what we use. I was always afraid that if I live with another woman we will start using each other’s stuff, like in the movies. I always thought it’s weird. I mean, it’s fine a few times, but not all the time. It’s not too sanitary and budget friendly. It’s better if everyone sticks to their own things. Elisa thinks the same. We are happy to help each other out if one of us runs out of lipstick, or needs a specific color of eyeshadow. But we never touch what’s not ours without asking first. I think this is one reason why we are so good together. Another one is our shared history, I guess.

I check the time and it’s the last ten seconds, finally. I take a deep breath and hold it as I watch the numbers change on the screen until it hits zero. I switch the alarm off, but I don’t do anything. I stand there like a statue, my limbs feel like rocks and I don’t have the energy to lift them up. My throat is so dry, I could drink a gallon of water at once.

I look at myself in the mirror and furrowing my eyebrows I tell myself that I can’t just ignore this. I have to find out the truth so I can carry on or… or find a solution if the result is what I was afraid of.

I blow out the breath I was holding and glance down at the stick that’s lying face down. I slowly reach for it and take it between by pointing finger and thumb. It’s now or never.

I turn it over and when I see it I forget to breathe for the longest second of history. I freeze and my eyes are glued to the two little lines on the stick that means one thing. The one thing I was so worried and the one thing that is now freaking me out to the point where I feel like I’m about to pass out.

I’m pregnant and I have no idea how I’m going to deal with this situation. I’m twenty-one, practically a child myself, I can’t take care of a baby, not with the way I’ve lived in the past two years, it’s impossible. I can’t do this alone and even if Elisa helps me out it’s still not enough. I have only one choice, the person I never thought I would see again and I promised not to think about ever, but I have no choice. I wasn’t alone when this baby conceived and as much as I would love to figure it out on my own, he deserves to know.

I wipe away the warm tears from my cheeks and reach for my phone, still holding the pregnancy test in my hands. Opening my contacts I scroll down and I stop at his name. Biting into my bottom lip my thumb linger over it as I hesitate and try to think about what I want to tell him. But I slowly realize that it’s not something I should tell over the phone, so instead of calling I open a new message.

To: Shawn Mendes Hey. Can we meet? We need to talk about something.

I press send before I can change my mind and I finally walk out of the bathroom. I walk through our small, but cozy living room and don’t stop until I’m in my room. First, I hide the test into one of my drawers and then I check the time. Elisa will be home in an hour from her class to get ready for work, there is no way I can face her right now, so I better not be here. As I’m gathering a few stuff my phone buzzes from a new message. It’s from him.

From: Shawn Mendes Somewhere private or do you want to have drink somewhere?

I could use a drink right now, but then I realize, I won’t taste any alcohol in the upcoming months. And a private place would be the most ideal for this conversation.

To: Shawn Mendes Can we meet at your place?

His reply arrives a few seconds later.

From: Shawn Mendes I’ll send a car for you. Where do you want it to go?

I text him to pick me up at the usual spot at the café and he assures me that a car will be there to pick me up in thirty minutes. Perfect, this way I won’t meet Elisa. I grab my bag, put everything I think I need in it and leave the place, but before I could step out, I stop at the mirror that’s right next to our front door. I see myself in an entirely different way than how I did when I arrived home, though I was already suspicious back then. But now I know that somewhere under my oversized black sweater there is a baby in my stomach. I’m not alone anymore, not even when there is no one around me.

I slide my hand under my sweater and touch my lower belly, but I don’t feel anything yet it’s so different. Nothing will be the same from now on and it frightens me so much I can’t even describe.

I shake my head, fix my clothes and switch the lights off before leaving to meet the father of my unborn child, Shawn Mendes.

taglist: @damnigotadime @jrock-1987 @dacutiehart @ricchhelle @shar-is-my-name

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes x reader #mendes army #boundaries #boundaries series

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nobravery · 7 years

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This Isn't GoodBye

a Shawn Mendes Imagine.

A/N: ngl i cried like 752 times while writing this. this isn't a happy story at all. if y'all want to be even sadder, read this while listening The Portrait and Never an Absolution from Titanic (James Horner) on repeat, i did it and i'm still sobbing rip. PS: there's actually no real dialogue so there aren't my weird inverted commas lol. — TRIGGER WARNING — mentions of depression, suicide (i tried to be soft with the terms as much as possible). WordCount: 3,952

Several days later, I was back from tour, which had just ended. Finally. This was the only thing I’ve been waiting for. This tour was probably the longest and the worst one. Pretending to be alright whereas I was completely destroyed inside, smiling falsely… It was really hard to bear the whole. It was hard not to cry in front of everyone. It was hard to hold back my tears. My eyes were filled with tears constantly. Whether it’s in the streets or while performing. And it’s still the case today. It was four in the afternoon now and I was driving to the cemetery. Once I arrived, I didn’t get off my jeep right away. I waited one or two minutes before. I eventually reached the entrance. The place was deserted. I walked to her grave, a bunch of hydrangeas I had bought earlier in hands. They were actually her favourite flowers. I brought a red rose too, in reference to my song Roses, one of her favourite ones. I finally reached “her”. There were quite a lot of flowers around the headstone. Some faded. Delicately, I put the bunch in front of it. I still had the rose in my right hand, twirling the stem with my fingers. I sat on the ground, and smelled the rose, as red as it might be. This rose was so reddish, full of life. I glanced at it before laying it just in front of the hydrangeas. Then I rubbed my hands together, nervously, trying not to bite my nails. She has always hated that, when I did. Afterwards I noticed small tears hitting my wrists. I kept silent for about three minutes, before eventually breaking it. I reached out my hand to touch the cold marble headstone. I started rubbing it, as if I was actually stroking y/n’s skin. “I miss you, y/n.” I declared. “My life means nothing without you. It’s a mess since you’re gone.” I fell silent, like if she was about to reply. I was facing the headstone. “The tour was great. But definitely the worst one, you know. I tried to act as normal as possible, but I won’t lie to you, it was really hard to seem alive in the others’ eyes.” I paused, taking a breath. “As regards tours, I’m gonna take a break. I’m not saying I’m having a career break, I’m just talking about touring. I just can’t for the moment. But I promise, I’ll start again later. I need a break now. You understand… I need to stay with you… I—I regret that I wasn't–” I was interrupted by sobs. Meanwhile, my fingers were nervously playing with blades of grass now. It was just horrible to know that she was just a few feet underground. I wanted to hold her in my arms, more than ever. “I read your letter every single day. I almost know it by heart. This is crazy. I promise you, I remember every single thing you wrote on it. I think about you all the time. Without exception.” I’ve been talking for almost three quarters of an hour, telling her my life-story—at least what’s left of it—, giving some news of the crew—the guys truly missed her as well—, still this lump in my throat, still this knot in my stomach, still the same pain. “I hope that you’re at peace just like you said. I’m sure you are. I miss you… Everyone misses you… Your parents, mine, Aaliyah… Everyone. Absolutely everyone. I miss you so much, darling… I wish I could still hug you…” And thus I talked again. And again. Then it was getting dark. Night fell quickly in December; it was only five to ten. Still sitting, I raised my eyes to heaven. I gazed at the sky, remaining silent. I felt as if y/n was observing it with me. I imagined she was just next to me, her arm around my neck, her head on my shoulder, our fingers intertwining. I watched the sky attentively. My look stopped as I noticed something particular. Something shining. Something was actually sparkling. A little star. The littlest one among the others already out, and yet the one who was sparkling the most. At five o'clock. I didn’t smile. I probably looked neutral. I was still sad, distraught, destroyed, hurt. And that was an understatement. But I remembered the letter. “This isn’t goodbye.” I murmured, my eyes wet with tears staring at this unique little star.

A/N: i hope you survived. just to let you know that… never do bullshit and stay alive. don’t kill yourself. you are loved. don’t hurt your circle, don’t destroy your family, your friends. i know it’s easy to say but i’m myself struggling with chronic depression and i often want to die tbh. but i’m still there. for the loved ones. my friends and my family. think about the loved ones. don’t make them suffer. think about the consequences. nobody deserves this. get help from somebody if you need to. and if ever you need to talk to me or smth, my dm are always open, i’ll help as best as i can. ‹3

#feedback is appreciated #ngl this is the saddest thing i've ever written #what the fuck have i done #for real #i used like an entire pack of kleenex #and i'm still crying do u hear me #angst #shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes angst

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zankivich · 5 years

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Neighbors: Shawn x Plus Size Reader Chapter 13

a/n: Hi there. This is going to be good. I promise. Take some deep breaths. Relax a little. Let yourself fall into it. There’s a lot of build up here but it will all make sense in a little while. I promise. If you hate it that’s cool, you can come yell at me. I’ll understand. But I love you? If you like it enough to want to buy me a ko-fi I’d love you forever!

Trigger Warnings: details of sex, anxiety attack

*y/n’s point of view*

Going home is good for a while. You start a huge campaign with Roger’s Stadium to do their new branding. It’s kind of Shawn adjacent, but distant enough that no one brings it up that your boyfriend just happened to sell out a show there. You got to pick someone to help do the low-level research and you quickly paired up with Stu. It meant late nights in the office with your best friend doing what you did best. Marketing was your thing. Understanding different demographics of people and what got through to them best was something that you’d never had to be taught in the classroom. It came naturally. So communicating your product, connecting with people was just fun for you. It just so happened to come with a lovely commission on the side.

You meet with Gina, to confirm and solidify your pitch, but also apparently for a wellness check. After a lifetime of male bosses, you’d never once had one of those, but the second you sat down in her office she quickly flipped the lid on your ipad and made you talk about yourself instead.

“How are you?” She asked.

Your eyes widened slightly. “I...I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” She chuckled. “You’re used to jumping right into things, aye? Is that it?”

“I guess. Most bosses usually just want me to do the job and move on.”

“Ah. Then this should be a lovely change of pace for you. I have no interest in what you do professionally if you’re not doing okay holistically. The two are deeply intertwined. I’m not saying we’re going to be best friends. In fact we probably shouldn’t but, if at no other point in your day is someone asking you how you’ve been, let that be what your time with me looks like, okay?”

“Okay.” You murmured letting your shoulders relax slightly. “Okay.”

“So I ask you again, how are you doing y/n?”

“Things are good, actually. Stu and I work so well together that sometimes I can’t tell when our friendship stops and when the work begins. We just understand each other’s minds in a really productive way, so it’s really nice to be able to work together.”

She gave you that smile again that said you were doing something wrong causing you to pause again.

“What?”

“I guess I’m just curious how often when someone asks you how you’re doing you immediately start talking about work.”

You signed, hands twisted up in your lap as you struggled to maintain eye contact with her.

“Yea well...There’s not really much going on for me outside of work right now so?”

“Really? What about that famous boyfriend of yours everyone’s always yapping about?”

You snorted. “Famous boyfriend is getting ready for his very famous tour in England at the moment.”

“England, aye? That’s where you flew out to a few weeks ago right?”

“Yea. We uh had a fight that was bit my fault, so I went to apologize and smooth things over. He’ll be heading for Amsterdam come March though.”

She nodded. “That’s a lot for you to handle, I’m guessing. You must fly a lot to go see him? That’s hard considering your job here.”

You peered down at your lap again.

“This is actually the first time we’re doing the whole long term long distance thing. I’m sure we’ll be fine. It’s all a learning curve though. I uh I was planning on going to Amsterdam for the first two shows but that will probably be the last time I leave for at least a few months. I won’t see him for most of the year.”

“Well, shit. That just sucks.”

You smiled. “Yea, little bit. But he says he’ll fly back as often as he can. And with social media and technology now a days I can still talk to him for like hours. We’ll be okay. The hardest part is just keeping myself busy, and thankfully I’m pretty good at that.”

“What about family and friends?”

“Family is...complicated. Friends is Stu and his boyfriend Brian. Most of the people in the office are much older than me though, and we just don’t really care about the same things. I’m good though, I’ve always been the kind of person to go out and do whatever makes me happy. I don’t need a bunch of people around for that.”

She laughed again. “Well isn’t that nice to know. I suppose you can show me your pitch now.”

She loves it. And it’s incredibly validating, and takes a lot of stress of your shoulders. Now all that was left to do was to present the real thing and hope that they liked your design. It seemed like a cause for celebration. So you and Stu made plans to get all gussied up, go out to a fancy dinner, and get wine drunk together before eight pm. You tried to give Shawn a call, he knew how stressed you’d been about it after all, but it went to voicemail. So, you tucked your phone in your purse and went out to have a good fucking time.

“To being in our mid-twenties and finally hitting the fucking glow up! We are in our prime motherfucker!” Stu grinned cheersing his glass against yours.

You snorted. “We sure fucking are. When Ari said it feels so good to be so young and so successful, bitch was not lying.”

“Ugh. I wanna die and come back as that song. I thought that the thing I hated you most for was getting to see Shawn Mendes’ dick in person, but I think it’s that you have the ability to meet my fairy godmother, Ariana Grande, and there’s just nothing I can do about it.”

You peered over at your best friend over the rim of your glass with raised eyebrows.

“Stu...Are you sexually attracted to my boyfriend?”

His eyes widened slightly and his lips parted like a goldfish flopping on a dry surface begging for water. The idiot.

“To be fair...The entire office wants to fuck your boyfriend. Not just me!”

“Wow...That does not make me feel any better you sleez!” You chortled. “You’re my best friend!”

“It’s not like I would pursue it! Besides, Shawn Mendes was on our hall pass list far before you two were playing footsie behind my back.”

“I beg your pardon? And stop calling him by his full name, it gives me the creeps.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “The minute that man figured out how to put on a suit, Brian told me straight up if he ever found out Shawn went the other way, he would leave my ass in a heartbeat.”

“Jesus. So the whole world wants to screw my boyfriend?”

“Little bit, babes. But, you’re the only one who gets to! Don’t worry about the rest of us horny idiots.” He smiled.

“Have I ever told you how good you are at consoling me?”

“No.”

“Good.” You smirked. “You suck at it.”

He swatted at you playfully allowing both of you some time to look over your menus. At least that’s what you thought you were doing. It only took a few minutes of not so subtle stares for you to get the hint. The more you got used to being with Shawn the more you picked up on stuff like that.

“What is it now, Stu?” You sighed plopping your menu down.

“Well...Don’t take this the wrong way, because I completely don’t mean it in a predatory, creepy one at all but...What’s the dick like?”

“Oh god.”

He sighed. “We used to talk about all our hookups! I just want to know that my bestie is getting the dicking down that she deserves. It just so happens that this is internationally famous dick.”

Your best friend was a complete and total dumbass. But, you loved him. And you loved Shawn. And quite honestly not getting to share your experiences with someone was tough. It was hard because you knew Stu might not be able to relate to some of the things you were now experiencing as a result of your relationship, but he was also the person you went to for just about everything and vice versa. Also...sometimes a girl needs to gloat.

You peer around the restaurant as if a pap or one of Shawn’s fans might be lurking around every corner. (Sometimes, it felt like they were.) Stu leaned in in his nosey ass manner

“So like...it’s the best dick I’ve ever had in my life.” You whispered.

“Shut the fuck up.”

You whined dramatically. “I wish I was kidding. The whole hour and a half shows every night of the week translates so well into the bedroom. His stamina is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. His breath control allows him to go down on me for insane amounts of time. I’m talking like the bastard has evolved gills or some shit!”

Stu cracked up laughing and clanked his glass happily against yours.

“To evolving gills, bitch!”

You snorted happily and cheers’d with him again.

“Wait Stu, something happened.” You murmured moving closer in your seat to lean across the table.

“What? What?”

“So I went to the UK obviously to make up for things and I found this plus-size lingerie store while I was there so I thought it might get his mind off things if we like had some fun or whatever.”

“Okay….AND?”

“And so we’re doing...you know, it. And out of nowhere this dominant side of him comes out that honest to god made me wetter than the ocean seas.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “What the hell does that mean? What did he do?”

You bit your lip taking another gander around the restaurant only for him to swat at you about getting shy just as you were getting to the good part.

“I was somewhat bent over, I guess you could say.”

“Great so you were doing doggy style, get to the kinky shit, sis.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know… It just like started to feel really good and I had a feeling that I was going to…”

“Cum?”

You shook your head softly.

He gasped. “Squirt?”

You nodded.

“Oh. My. God. He’s really dicking you to explosion.”

“Yes. That is accurate. Anyway, I’ve never done that while he was in me before so I guess I started pushing against his hips because it felt so good? And he pulled my arms behind my back randomly and literally fucked me through it. Even when I was screaming louder than I’ve ever screamed before. He said, and I quote: ‘Baby, just let me give it to you. Let me make you feel good like only I can.’ and I just...holy shit Stu it was the best orgasm of my life.”

“You memorized a quote during sex? That is the biggest dick energy I’ve ever heard in my life. I have to go home and now slap my boyfriend because you’ve told me that story. I hope you’re satisfied, ruining other people's relationships. Holy shit, y/n.”

You licked at your lips and smile up at the sky as if God had something to do with it and not your wonderfully aggressive boyfriend.

“Yea. I know.” you sighed dreamily. “I love him.”

Meanwhile…

*Shawn’s point of view*

“What’s your problem? Y/n not texting you back?” Brian asked as Shawn tossed his phone back onto the couch.

He rolled his eyes. “No. But I am a perfectly grown adult who doesn’t need his girlfriend’s constant validation to feel secure in our relationship, Brian!”

“That what the self-help books telling you, bud?”

Brian was walking past after having turned the tv on and he very purposely tripped him. Jackass.

“Is you not getting to blow your load at least three times a day gonna make you an asshole this whole entire tour?”

He reached for a pillow and quickly socked his best friend in the face.

“Why are you such a dickhead, dickhead?!” He snorted. “There’s nothing I can do about having an incredible sex life. That is not my fault!”

“Incredible sex life, my ass!”

He put his hand over his heart and gave him the most sincere face he could offer.

“Bri...it’s a great fuckin’ sex life. Best of my whole life.”

“What does she shoot beams of light out her pussy or something?”

“This is why women hate our whole gender by the way. No, jackass, but she might as well. She is soft and passionate and beautiful and...vocal. Everytime I think I’m in control she does something to put me in my place. It’s wild. She’s fuckin wild.” He sighed collapsing back against the couch. “God, she’s perfect, man.”

Sure, he missed her. He always missed her. But, he also just appreciated everything about her. And talking about their love life wasn’t out of disrespect at all. It was more like bragging out of love for everything that they were together. And also because when it came to sex...they were kind of incredibly good at it.

“You two fuck like bunny rabbits. I’d almost be impressed if it wasn’t a complete inconvenience ninety nine percent of the time.”

Shawn rolled his eyes. “How is our love making an inconvenience to you, oh poor wonderful Brian?!”

“Oh don’t even get me started! Exhibit A, you invite all of us over to your apartment for a party in December. We’re supposed to get incredibly hammered and play mario kart. Not even forty-five minutes into the damn thing, you two assholes disappear into the bedroom, WITH the game system I might add, with the door locked for over an hour. The only reason you even came back out was because y/n wanted more tequila!”

“Hmm...that was a beautiful night. She sounds like a symphony when she cums.” He sighed to himself.

“Gross. Exhibit B! We go to the after party for the billboard awards. It’s supposed to be a good fuckin’ time for everyone--”

“Hey! We had a good fuckin’ time that night! We shared a blunt with Post Malone, Alessia, and fucking Ariana Grande. What could you possibly have to complain about?!”

“Why yes Shawn, that we did. But do you remember what happened after that?” He paused for the briefest of moments before very quickly continuing on. “Y/n for some reason found you smoking to be the hottest thing in the world and decided that she had to have you right then and there. You two left the fucking party and Alessia and I had to uber back to the hotel.”

“Well that is...yea I don’t really have an excuse for that one. Not our best moment. But trust me you didn’t want to be in that car anyway, I ripped her dress that night. It was a bit of a shit show. The only reason the paps didn’t get us was because we penguin waddled inside to hide it.”

“The moral of the story is, as happy as I am that you guys are trying to set an olympic record for fucking, you both suck!”

“You’ve got me there. We both suck...incredibly well I might add.”

He hit him with a pillow and left the room. What are best friends for anyway?

*y/n’s point of view*

“How are things going with Bry?” You asked as Stu worked to pack their bowl.

What better way to celebrate their wonderful friendship date, then ending it with a little weed?

He lit the bowl and took a deep hit, letting it sit in his lungs as he handed it over.

Stu groaned. “They’d be fine if he would get his shit together and propose to me already.”

You took a hit of your own and laughed.

“If you want to marry him so much, why don’t you propose?”

“I’m the one who asked him out in the first place! I’m the one who single handedly kept our relationship going through college. I told him point blank that he needed to propose and for some reason, five years later I’m still missing a ring on my finger!”

“Do you want me to talk to him? Give him the hint?”

He rolled his eyes. “As wonderful as that sounds, no. I want him to want to be with me. I just want him to take a little initiative ya know?”

You each took another hit of the bowl and leaned against each other and the high took over.

“I get it. You want to feel confident in your future. You wanna know he’s gonna be there when you need him. That’s a valid feeling.” You assured him.

“We’ve just been together for so long. And most of the time we are so good together. We communicate well, we have fun together. I just want to know that we’re both feeling the same things. Sometimes he seems so sure that he just thinks we don’t need to talk about it at all.”

“Damn. I think Shawn and I might be the opposite. I think all he wants is for me to talk more.”

Stu chuckled. “No shit. It took me getting you high in my college dorm for you to even tell me anything even remotely personal about yourself. Shawn’s sappy ass probably thinks it’s like talking to a wall.”

“Very funny asshole. I can’t help it okay? I’m the baby of four kids. By the time I was growing up, no one had time to listen to me whine and complain about shit. Shawn just...he understands all of his emotions so well, and he spends so much of his life reflecting on everything no matter how busy he is. I’m trying though. I know it’s necessary, It’s just hard.”

“Do you think you two will be okay with all the touring?” He asked.

Wasn’t that just the million dollar question? You didn’t know how to explain that when you were together it seemed like you could take on the world, like you could do anything together, but that when you were apart you’d never felt weaker. It all feel so sappy and so high school. Not being able to live on your own and per your own person? You wanted to be better than that. And admitting anything else out loud, even to Stu, shook the very foundation of the persona you were trying to force yourself to be.

“Shawn thinks we will be.” You mumbled.

“I didn’t ask what Shawn thinks. I’m your best friend, you can tell me of all people.”

“It’s just harder when we’re apart. So, I fly into whatever country he’s in and we fuck and we go out to dinner and maybe we get high because that’s all there is when you’re together for two or three days. And it’s not until I come back home that I even realize it. Cause when we’re together, I can’t imagine being anywhere else. I could honestly sit in one of those green rooms and just watch him all day, and I’d be happy. I love him that much. But when I get some distance, when I’m back home I realize just how little there is. How little there will be for the rest of the year. I just...I guess I’m hoping I can hold on. Because when I’m with him? It’s the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known.”

“Holy shit babes...That’s deep. C’mere.”

He wrapped his arm loosely around you. You passed the bowl back and forth a few more times until the world grew fuzzy and calm and you were each happier for it. It was a good way to end the night.

***

It’s four in the afternoon. You have a meeting in fifteen minutes to go over revenue for the department. These meetings always made you super anxious. You were the only female senior executive, so any conversation you had about revenue was always in a room full of men. It didn’t help that a lot of the assholes in the office didn’t like the way you were offered the job and definitely held a grudge. You were always dead set on having the best numbers, so no one could say shit. Your stomach was tied up in knots and you just wanted to get it over with, so you could go home and drink a glass--or three--of wine. You’d been stressed about it all week, and it only made it worse that you had started sleeping in Shawn’s apartment because the smell of his sheets was sometimes the only thing that could lull you into sleep only for the smell to eventually fade away. There was tension in your neck and in your shoulders from the tossing and turning, and you just needed the week to be over.

Your phone started to vibrate on your desk and you almost chucked it at the wall. When you saw that it was Shawn wanting to facetime you honestly weren’t sure if that made it better or worse. But, Shawn tended to get anxious when you didn’t answer, so you took a deep breath and opened the phone.

“Babe!” He smiled immediately as his image came slowly into focus.

He must’ve been walking somewhere with the team cause he wasn’t looking at his phone right away. You didn’t really have time for this.

“Hey Shawn. Look, what is it? I’m uh I’m kinda busy.”

“Wait just one sec.” He scrambled a little with the phone before he was finally staring at you, wild curls and beautiful brown eyes to boot. “What’s wrong? You sound stressed.”

“I am stressed. I have a meeting in ten, Shawn; what can I do for you?”

He frowned. “I don’t need you to do anything for me. I just wanted to see you. Hey Jake, I’m gonna go sit for a minute alone alright? I’ll be back.”

“No, Shawn don’t--” But he was already walking away from the group.

“What’s going on, right now? Talk to me.”

Your initial instinct was to tell him nothing was going on, that you didn’t want to talk, you just wanted to muscle through. But you couldn’t help but remember your conversation with Stu a few days ago. It felt hypocritical to say you were trying to communicate if every time your boyfriend asked you to communicate you shut down.

You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger.

“I have a meeting, okay? That’s all” You mumbled feeling like an incessant toddler.

He nodded. “Okay, you have a meeting. You’ve told me that. You’ve got a meeting that’s stressing you out. You look flustered. What else is going on?”

“Nothing else is going on. I’m just really stressed at the moment.”

He sighed. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to fight me on this. I only want to help you. You’re breathing is uneven. Are you feeling anxious right now?”

“I--I don’t know. Yea, sure, I feel anxious.”

“How long have you felt anxious, honey?”

“Shawn, what the hell does this have to do with anything?!” you snapped the irritation getting to you.

“I think you might be having an anxiety attack. Try and take a deep breath with me. I know you’re feeling upset, but let’s just breathe for a little bit.”

“An anxiety attack? Shawn what--”

“Hush. Just fucking listen to me okay?”

You stumbled into silence and watched as your boyfriend did his best to calm you down. He had you lean the phone against your desk so that you could place one hand over your stomach and the other over your heart. He had you use your stomach as a guide to let your lungs fill with air, breathing slowly and letting the tension in your back and neck to ease out. His voice was low, calm, and incredibly soothing in your ear. You may have offered him comfort before, but this was something new entirely. At least Shawn could tell when he needed help. You were so delusional about your own wellbeing that you hadn’t even been aware you needed it. It wasn’t until you felt your heart rate calm and your shoulders drop that you felt infinitely better. With this relief came a rather odd rush of sadness that left you crying in the middle of your office in broad daylight.

“Hey,” He cooed face moving closer to his screen. “Why are you crying, y/n?”

“I don’t even fucking know.” You sighed trying to catch the tears before they fall. “I really thought I was fine, Shawn. I thought I was okay.”

“That’s alright. That’s why I’m here. To catch the things you let slip. You do the exact same thing for me all of this time. It’s okay to lean on me once in a while, you know?”

You nodded softly with a sniffle. “I really do have to go to my meeting though.”

“Go. Call me when you get home from work okay? Take a shower, relax a little bit. I’m a few hours ahead of you here, but just call and I’ll be there. We can talk through it.”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll do that.” You mumbled.

“You’re gonna do great, sweetie. I love you so much, okay?”

“I love you too. I’ll talk to you later.”

*four hours later*

“Is that my bed?” Shawn asked leaning back with an arm behind his head with abs on full display.

Ugh.

You nodded. “I’ve been sleeping here a little better lately...Is that okay?”

“Yea! Of course it is. Nothing makes me happier than you sleeping there. That spaces is yours too. That’s why I gave you the key to begin with.”

“Okay.” You murmured not being able to hide the smile that his words brought to your face. “You could probably send me a sweatshirt or something that you’ve worn recently though. The sheets hardly even smell like you anymore.”

He grinned. “I’d love to sweetheart. It’s just that by the time something could get to you from Amsterdam, I think you might actually have already flown to Amsterdam. I’ll be sure to send you back with plenty of material.”

“Good.”

“So...you ready to talk about it?”

“Ugh, I am surprised you're not a licensed therapist with how much you want me to talk about my feelings.” you whined. “How did you even know it was an anxiety attack?”

“I just remembered when I was going through my panic attacks at first, that I didn’t even know what they were called. The doctor said these two words, panic attack and anxiety attack, and I didn’t really know the difference. They sort of sound the same. But you know how like when it gets really bad for me it’s like...super quick? Like one second I’m just thinking about something bad and then the next I can’t see my way out of it?”

“Yea. That’s usually when we start breathing together.”

He smiled. “Exactly. I guess anxiety attacks can be a little slower. My doctor said they can actually happen over a period of days. It’s what makes them harder to detect, but it can also make them much harder on the body. It’s like thinking about something until it consumes you. Not being able to sleep, irritability--even at very lovable and cuddly boyfriends, muscle tension. You seemed to check a lot of boxes, honey.”

“I’m sure loveable and cuddly boyfriends was right in the symptom description, aye?”

“You’re deflecting.”

“You’re digging.”

“I am trying to take an ounce of burden off your back, and you are making it incredibly difficult.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath telling yourself to stop being such a little bitch. He was there. He wasn’t going to leave. You could trust him.

“It’s okay to talk to me, y/n. I’m not going to hurt you.” He murmured.

You groaned. “I know. I know.”

“It’s just that...if it were anyone else I’d say that you should find someone to talk to, anyone to talk to but I . . .I’m supposed to be your person. You’re my person and I just--I don’t know y/n, how do I help you through this if you won’t let me?”

“I’m trying Shawn. I swear I am.”

“Hey I know. And I’m trying to be understanding of how hard it is for you. But, I’m also trying to help. I’m gonna need you to at least meet me halfway.”

You nodded sullenly, fingers bunching up in the blankets at the thought of failing him, of not being able to be what he needed.

Shawn sighed. “It’s uh...it’s getting pretty late here. Let’s just talk tomorrow, yea?”

You peered at him through the phone unable to discern how deep of a situation this was from halfway across the world.

“Are you angry with me?”

“N--No. Honey, I’m not angry. I’m just...tired. I’ll call you when it’s morning for you okay?”

“Okay. I love you, Shawn.”

“I love you too. Get some sleep.”

That was certainly easier said than done.

***

*Shawn’s point of view*

He’s in the middle of a meeting when his phone starts to buzz on the table. And he can’t help but reach for it just in case it’s y/n. It is.

y/n: so I couldn’t sleep last night. Surprise. And I just kept thinking about everything that you said, and it made feel really shitty.

y/n: not to say that you made me feel shitty just that that’s how I was feeling

y/n: anyway. I couldn’t sleep, so I tried to think about how I feel and I tried to write it down. I thought I could share it with you. Idk if it’ll help at all I just don’t want to keep letting you down.

y/n: so check your email if you have time. I love you. K. Bye.

And of course the rest of his meeting is absolutely useless. Of course all he can think about is her, about what she might be thinking, about what she might be feeling. And there’s a much bigger part of him than he’d like to admit, that’s wants nothing more than to fly home and cuddle the hell out of her until she gets some rest. The distance between the two of them felt heavier than ever.

“You’ve got forty-five minutes for lunch. Then we’re at the venue for run throughs. Final creative meeting for tour outfits after okay?” Andrew ordered.

Shawn nodded already in search of his laptop.

“Can you have Jake bring me something for the drive? I’m not gonna have time for anything else.”

“Why not?”

“Something is wrong with y/n. I need to check in okay?”

He was so unwilling to focus on anything other than y/n that if Andrew had anything else to say, he didn’t notice. He set up his laptop and found a space to sit in the quiet and read.

So...This is weird. I haven’t written anything like this since my diary in the eighth grade. I just um am tired a lot lately. I don’t think it’s work because I love what I do so much. I guess that’s not great either because I just keep working even when I’m exhausted. And it’s not you. Jesus, it most certainly is not you. I keep thinking that my love for is going to plateau or something, but it never does. It just keeps growing infinitely. I’m not sure if it’s the distance between us at the moment. When I first got home it actually felt good to get back into my routine. I think it’s not until I can’t sleep that I roll over and see you aren’t there that it hits me. It’d just so odd for me Shawn. I want to hold you and talk to you and I can’t because you’re not here. And there isn’t anything that either of us can do about it. I’m not used to there not being a solution. I’ve always been so good at solving things, that now that I can’t I feel like a waste of space. And I know that if I told you you’d tell me to call you but you’re six hours ahead of me right now. Everytime we talk it feels like I’m keeping you from something more important, and I don’t want to do that. I want you to be happy and to tour and have all the success in the world. I think also, and this is just me being honest with myself, even with the people I’ve loved most in my life I haven’t always had my needs prioritized. My mom. My brothers. My dad. So I really try to take care of myself and prioritize myself. I never learned how to let someone else do it for me, because every time I tried I got let down. Your so endlessly kind to me. And you love me like i’ve never been loved before. Me not letting you in when I’m struggling is not malicious it’s just innate. I’m trying to unlearn these things and it’s much harder to do when I don’t even realize that I’m doing them. I’m sorry if I upset you. I’m sorry that you stayed up for me last night only to be disappointed. You mean more to me than a hundred of these pages could explain. I know I keep asking for time, for some leeway, and maybe your getting sick of that. I guess I’m sorry for that too. I promise you it’ll be different, if you let me try. I want to try. I love you enough to do that for us.

He sits with it for a while. There’s a feeling in his chest that he’s never had with y/n before and then there’s another feeling into response to it. He gets out the app on his phone and meditates for a while because he just doesn’t know what it is at first. And it isn’t until after he’s breathed for twenty minutes and they’re in the car on the way to his next meeting that he gets this overwhelming wave of deja vu. It’s so visceral that he feels himself become sixteen again. He watches himself get off the plan in Toronto and drive to his first girlfriend’s house. He watches him explain to her that he’s got to go away and live his dream, and that them being together is only going to hurt her, that it would kill him to keep hurting her. This idea that...it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, it’s never gonna matter, because all I’m ever gonna do it hurt you. And if I love you, if I truly and genuinely love you, then isn’t the greatest act of love I could ever show you to let you go?

It fills him with anger. Anger because this was meant to be different. In hindsight it makes him feel like a child who had been shouting at the top of his lungs that he knew something that he so clearly didn’t. Maybe Andrew was right. Maybe Brian had gotten annoyed for a legitimate reason. Maybe their love wasn’t what he thought it was. Or, even worse, maybe there love was everything it felt like. Maybe it was larger than the two of them, maybe it was complex and beautiful and wonderful. But, maybe that only meant it would consume them in the end.

After that there’s nothing but sorrow. Because his thread, his being, his life was so deeply intertwined with her’s that he could see no way out, couldn’t imagine not being with her.

For the first time in a long time he was completely at a loss. And it seemed as though he had opened up a can of worms that was only going to hurt them in the end. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Taglist: @kitykatnumber @lou-and-me @ourlittleshawnie @mutuallynotmutual @wanderingmendes @peacedolantwins2 @chels-nyc @justbeingoceana @hayyitsfayy @claredolphinbear24 @september-lace @literallyshawn @mchutchmendes @liliane106 @iloveshawnieboi @samwillllson @illloveyouforever1 @grittyisaho

#shawn mendes #Shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn mendes fic #Shawn mendes fanfiction #Shawn mendes fluff #Shawn mendes angst #Shawn mendes au #Shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes smut #Shawn mendes series #Shawn mendes blurb #Shawn mendes x you #Shawn mendes x y/n #Shawn mendes x reader #Shawn mendes x fat reader #Shawn mendes x thick reader #neighbors fic

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superrichlads · 7 years

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about Niall: the solo era

HITS DAILY DOUBLE, SEPTEMBER 2016: ″Niall Horan is indeed inking with Steve Barnett's Capitol following another fierce signing derby… The word from people who’ve heard Niall’s record is that it’s outstanding.”

HITS DAILY DOUBLE, SEPTEMBER 2016: “Coming just after UMG’s A&R meetings in Hampshire, UK, Horan’s release is the first offering from a very important worldwide signing for the company and one of the top records of the meetings, according to many of the attendees.”

AMY WADGE, NOVEMBER 2016: “Niall’s a cracking writer, he’s got a great voice, he’s kind of got a Paul Simon thing going on, so I think there’ll be elements of country within [his album], because that’s what he likes, but at the moment he’s recording, and he’s smashing it, he’s doing so well.”

DON WAS, BLUE NOTE PRESIDENT & RECORD PRODUCER, DECEMBER 2016: "He showed up with a bunch of really great songs he wrote, he sings really well… He was thoroughly professional, humble and sweet. He spent time talking with all the musicians, hung out -- everybody loved him… He's the real deal, man. I'm so impressed with this guy."

CHRIS MARTIN, (COLDPLAY), DECEMBER 2016: “I really honestly feel that everything is a touchstone. Whether it’s Chopin or Niall from One Direction, if it’s good I’ll listen to it, and I’ll love it.”

JOE RAINEY, CAPITOL RECORDS VP PROMOTION, MARCH 2017: “I’m excited for what he’s gonna be creating, because in the few times I’ve met with him, that’s a remarkably talented man.”

GARY TRUST, BILLBOARD CO-DIRECTOR OF CHARTS, MARCH 2017: “Even if This Town is not a number one record at Top 40, it sound like to me, because it’s so intimate, I have a feeling that it’s a lot of people’s favourite song… it seems like it could really hit people on a really deep level.”

GOLF DIGEST, MARCH 2017: “One of the music industry's biggest stars—the first artist to debut at No. 1 on Billboard's Social 50 Chart with his single This Town late last year.”

LINE OF BEST FIT, MAY 2017: “Niall Horan's new track ‘Slow Hands’ wipes the floor with all the other solo sounds that have emerged since the demise of One Direction. It's one of the year's first proper Song Of The Summer contenders and sees Horan ditch balladeering for slinky riffs and proper raunch. He's shed his squeaky clean onesie and donned a crooner coat, giving us one of the coolest, catchiest choruses of 2017 in the process.”

BILLBOARD, MAY 2017: “Slow Hands doesn’t just put his voice in a bit of a new light, the grittier, funkier tune also presents Horan’s versatility as a solo artist."

ELVIS DURAN, Z100 MORNING SHOW, MAY 2017: “When we saw you, way back at - was it Jingle Ball, in New York City? And of all the people I talked to that night and interviewed, you were the nicest, you were the nicest guy. And I just wanted - I’ve been waiting all these months to say thank you.”

RYAN SEACREST, MAY 2017: “Niall, when he comes in, to me he has the most charisma of all of them… he’s got that, he’s super-nice, and super-normal for being in One Direction and having the solo thing.”

DON HENLEY, MAY 2017: “Niall is a solid guy whose focus is right where it ought to be: on songwriting. He’s got the Irish charm and a healthy, self-effacing sense of humor, which is an essential survival tool in this business. I think that Niall will evolve into a resonant, thoughtful voice for his generation.”

DON WAS, MAY 2017: “Niall’s got the stuff… He drove himself to the studio, carried his own guitar, stepped up to the microphone and was great every take. If they do the Desert Trip festival in 50 years, he’ll be headlining.”

STEVE BARNETT, CAPITOL RECORDS CHAIRMAN & CEO, MAY 2017: “The absolute top in terms of professionalism, thoughtfulness, work ethic and appreciating what he’s got. You’d be proud if he was your son.”

SHAWN MENDES, MAY 2017: “I’m pretty nervous in front of other celebrities still, but he’s so calm and chill… We just started jamming out, and it didn’t feel like, ‘Oh, I’ve got to be good in front of him.’ It was complete fun, no ego, like the reason you play music in the first place.”

ELVIS DURAN, MAY 2017: “I’ll never forget this moment, when This Town - when you first released This Town… this was the first time I’d seen you perform solo, and you came out on stage - Madison Square Garden, not a bad room… you came out on stage by yourself, you and your guitar, it was just you, your guitar, and one little light shining on you, in this huge, huge arena, and you sang that song, and I was thinking: this is probably the most pure, wonderful performance we’re going to hear in a long time. I still, I still - look, I get goosebumps. When you sung the song earlier today, it took me back to that performance… you came out and sang that song and I was thinking: this guy is it, that was it, and that was the perfect song to launch with… that song, it speaks volumes about you, because it’s such a gentle, wonderful song.”

ELVIS DURAN, MAY 2017: “You sound so fantastic that no one believes that it’s live, they think we’re playing a track.”

CLARA AMFO, BBC RADIO 1, JUNE 2017: “I’ve been saying to the listeners, I do appreciate the approach you’ve taken with your solo stuff. No shade to the other guys, but you didn’t really make a big fuss, there wasn’t like these big teasers, you just kind of slyly did it, just casual, you were just chilled with it, I rate that.”

TMRW, JUNE 2017: “For a man so adored and so blindingly good at what he does, he’s modest as anything. Except for golf, he knows he’s good at golf.”

TANYA KIM, ENTERTAINMENT NOW, JUNE 2017: “This Town is one of my favourite songs of all time. Ever. In the existence of music. I have to say it’s so beautiful.”

NOTION, JUNE 2017: “Having travelled around Asia and relocated to LA, Niall is more than ready to re-enter the world of pop, and he’s doing it with surprising finesse. When he released his second single, ‘Slow Hands’, at the beginning of May, the world was taken aback. It wasn’t some radical departure from his work in 1D, it was a more mature, nuanced version of that same guitar music meets pop sound they’d come to specialise in, and more importantly it was great.”

SHANIA TWAIN, JULY 2017: “He's really wonderful. He's very organic and natural... He's a sweetheart and we get along really well. We need to write together. I think that would be a really successful, creative time.”

JULIA MICHAELS, JULY 2017: “He actually told me he was going to cover [Issues] when we did a show together in Minneapolis and I was so flattered, and then when I heard his kind of organic approach to it I was like: oh, this is so magical. Plus, his voice is everything.”

STEVE BRAUNIAS, SPINOFF, JULY 2017: “Is Niall the best solo artist to come out of One Direction? Yes, yes he is... Life after 1D has seen Harry playing Jesus to the lepers in his head, walking on water in that endless video to his endless ballad, looking all profound and troubled and beautiful. ZZZZZZZZZZ! But good old Niall packed up his 1D bag containing a bottle of peroxide remover and got on with the business of making simple, awesome pop. ‘This Town’ was Niall as the sensitive singer-songwriter picking on his guitar. Follow-up ‘Slow Hands’ is Niall laying down a sexy falsetto to a sexy lyric, although it does include the weird line, “like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry”. There’s a raunchy version on Ellen featuring a cat on wah-wah guitar, and the one on One Love Manchester is even better – it shows Niall in his element, a relaxed cat in a hat, in total control of his art. If it wasn’t for ‘Bad Liar’, this would have been the best song of 2017 so far.”

RAISA BRUNER, TIME MAGAZINE, SEPTEMBER 2017: “For a small country, Ireland is on a roll lately bringing out talented, moody male solo artists. First there was Hozier. Then there was the grown-up Niall Horan.”

DAVE FAWBERT, SHORTLIST, OCTOBER 2017: “Niall, all round top lad who, in every single interview that I’ve read, has never failed to come across as anything other than a nice bloke. Having somewhat been in the shadow of Harry and Zayn in the band, his solo career has seen him move from unfancied outsider to the man most likely to be the biggest of all of them. ‘This Town’? Delicate, beautiful track. ‘Slow Hands’? Legit brilliant song. And the rest of Flicker, his debut album? Genuinely really really good.”

ZOE GILLESPIE, CAPITOL RECORDS SENIOR MANAGER, DIGITAL MARKETING, OCTOBER 2017: “talent hard work integrity respect patience hard work talent.”

CHARLES KELLEY, (LADY ANTEBELLUM), NOVEMBER 2017: “I think I may have to head up the Niall Horan fan club after tonight! Killed it at the Ryman... One of the best concerts I’ve seen in a long time, Niall Horan. Thank god for good musicians in this world.”

DAVE FAWBERT, SHORTLIST, DECEMBER 2017: “[Slow Hands] is an absolutely bloody brilliant song. Great groove, great chorus, an absolute giant earworm and no mistaking. And the rest of the album’s great too.”

KATIE LOUISE SMITH, POPBUZZ, DECEMBER 2017: [Flicker] is fucking brilliant and dare I say it, the BEST One Direction solo album so far... it was a bold move to dive head first into this ‘not-quite-pop, not-quite-rock, little-bit-country, little-bit-folk’ genre and many wondered if his fans would follow along with him. (Spoiler alert: They did. In their millions.) While you can clearly hear the influences on the album, it doesn’t sound like a who’s who of Niall paying tribute to his favourite bands… it sounds like a Niall Horan album. He’s not trying too hard. It’s cohesive. It feels genuine. It feels authentic. And you know what, it just feels right. ‘Slow Hands’ is without a doubt one of the best songs the year, he puts Ed Sheeran’s penchant for an Irish folk bop to shame on ‘On My Own’. Even his foray into country music with Maren Morris on ‘Seeing Blind’ had the entire population of Nashville inviting the Irish Prince round for Thanksgiving.”

CHRISTOPHER BUSCHER, ARTMAG, DECEMBER 2017: “[Niall] doesn’t waste time trying to be so edgy and so raunchy and just concentrates on making properly good folk-pop music.”

ANDY CUSH, SPIN, DECEMBER 2017: “No one expected the blonde and boyish Niall Horan to emerge as the breakout artist after the breakup of One Direction last year, not from a band that also included two ridiculously good-looking born stars in Zayn Malik and Harry Styles... but neither has released anything quite as good as “Slow Hands,” Horan’s sexy and soulful second single. He brings convincing grit to a track that bends the industry’s current fetish for the sounds of the ‘70s a little further from Studio 54 and closer to Muscle Shoals, with a simple but swaggering rhythm section and infectious blues guitar line.”

DAN JACKSON, THRILLIST, DECEMBER 2017: “Who will be the biggest star to emerge from One Direction? It's still too early to say -- post-break-up careers are a marathon, not a race -- but Niall Horan makes a convincing play for the grownup John Mayer zone on "Slow Hands," an acoustic guitar-driven R&B track about his skills as a lover.”

TAYLOR WEATHERBY, BILLBOARD, DECEMBER 2017: “Bringing out his sexy side with daring lyrics, sultry vocals and a thumping, bluesy guitar hook was definitely worth the risk, as [Slow Hands] landed Horan his first No. 1 Pop Songs hit as a solo artist, and set the scene for his debut LP Flicker to arrive atop the Billboard 200 in October.”

STEVE BARNETT, CAPITOL RECORDS CHAIRMAN & CEO, JANUARY 2018: “We had the support of [Niall’s manager] Richard Griffiths in buying into the idea that we’re going to be three singles deep before we release the album, and he’s going to go around the world three times and try to touch those fans. Niall is really a unique young man, who’s developed a great relationship with the whole company. He’s beloved at this label. There’s a vulnerability and an authenticity about [Niall’s music]. The band’s fans could relate to that. Those transitions [from boy band to solo star] aren’t easy.”

JOHN BIRD, FEBRUARY 2018: “[One Direction] was obviously an incredible experience for him, he got to see the world… I think he really embraced it, you know, his personality allowed him to enjoy it, and yeah, he just seems very, very happy that it all happened. I don’t feel any negativity towards it at all, and like I said, we’re just lucky to get a little part of that experience, you know.”

RON HART, BILLBOARD, APRIL 2018: "There’s no denying the Knopfler-isms of ‘On the Loose’, perhaps the strongest single off Niall Horan’s thoroughly impressive and organic solo debut Flicker."

LEWIS CAPALDI, JULY 2018: "I say this in a few interviews, but Niall Horan is the nicest guy I’ve met in music, just the way that he carries himself is ridiculous. He’s just so nice."

JOSEPH BRYANT, OUT & ABOUT NASHVILLE, JULY 2018: “Heartfelt and honest, Horan shows a soft, sentimental side. His maturity as a musician really comes through [on So Long]. Reminiscent of those best parts of John Mayer, Horan is making his mark as the smooth charmer the soft rock/pop genre this generation is lacking. He has a fantastic career ahead of him.”

GERRY MORGAN, 180 DRUMS PODCAST, SEPTEMBER 2018: “The first time I heard one of his tracks I was driving – a car, believe it or not, and it came on the radio – it was called This Town, and I pulled over on the side of the road and I remember listening to it and I went – that is a beautiful song. And I kept on listening and at the end the DJ went, in usual DJ fashion, ‘and that was a little song by Niall Horan’, and I just texted him and said, ’This Town, I didn’t realise that was you, that’s a beautiful song and singing’. And yeah, it was a very innocent – not innocent, that’s the wrong word, there was a very pure and authentic style of writing there that I really loved from a songwriter that kind of really ticked all of the boxes for me. So yeah, I met him, we did a lot of stuff just the two of us, went out and did a lot of shows, a lot of promo runs and such, some studio stuff, and we had a really great time I’d jump at doing [anything with him again…] I was just really super-excited to represent him – I was excited because he was coming from such a pop background, like boy band vocal group pop to becoming a legit singer-songwriter, standing up there fronting his own band, with a guitar and a great voice, and he’s Irish as well, and I was just really proud and excited for people to hear what he was going to come out with – because I knew what he was going to come out with, and it was legit, and I just thought that people – other musicians and friends of mine were dubious because of maybe where he had come from, but I was like – nah, wait until you hear this. And the record has done so well, and I’m super proud of him.”

MUST MUSIC, DECEMBER 2018: “At the start of this year, Irish singer Niall Horan scored another success with Too Much To Ask, third single from his album Flicker. A remix of this ballad topped the dance club chart, and Niall also charted on Pop & AC radio. Many doubted Niall as a solo artist, but in the end he has proven to be the strongest – commercially speaking – of the members of boy band One Direction.”

RUTHANNE CUNNINGHAM, DEEP DIVING WITH EOGHAN MCDERMOTT PODCAST, MAY 2019: “I remember when they played me what they had started [Slow Hands], I was like: this is different from the rest of the record, not too far away. I knew it was something good, but I don't think any of us thought it would be number 1 on American radio or anything like that. But Julian was smart, he was like: OK, we have all these songs, but we need that one. And a lot of people have asked me about the production, about the way the vocals sound, and the way the instruments sound, and I really feel like Niall nailed it in the way of just taking that risk, knowing that it was a great sound for him, and not being afraid of that edgier sound, because he had done a lot of more acoustic-folksy stuff for the album. For me, whenever now I see it live and everyone's singing it, I'm like: oh, that's his song. And it's so hard, when you've been in One Direction, you know, you're like, are the fans going to be wanting to hear Best Song Ever or Story of My Life, but they're not, they want to hear Slow Hands. That's what you aim to do when you work with an artist, is to have that moment.”

JULIA MICHAELS, AMERICAN EXPRESS 5 DAY WEEKEND SHOWCASE, MAY 2019: “This next song [What A Time] I did with an incredibly talented human being from Ireland. He's the most amazing dreamboat of a person and I love him to death."

RUTHANNE CUNNINGHAM, MAY 2019: “I wrote with Niall in February, can I just say the new music is sounding amazing, I got to hear what he’s been doing with Julian and Tobias and stuff, it sounds amazing, and I think we wrote two really great songs... I love the songs that we did.”

THOMAS RHETT, IHEARTRADIO, MAY 2019: “We’ve written a couple of songs together, I wrote with him about a month ago when he was in Nashville. Niall is such a sweet dude. I met Niall through my producer, Julian, I got to meet Niall through him, and it’s such a cool friendship.”

MAREN MORRIS, ET, JUNE 2019: “Niall and I became such great friends. Our bands became friends on the road last year. I would love to write with him and do something in the future. He's such a great guy. He's a badass."

RUTHANNE CUNNINGHAM, SONGWRITER UNIVERSE, JUNE 2019: "Niall had such a vision for his album—he knew what he wanted the album to sound like, and he had this book of ideas. So as a writer, it was a dream collaboration because it was so easy for me to fill in the blanks for him. And we’ve been writing together for his next album.”

JULIA MICHAELS, UMUSIC, JUNE 2019: "The first time I heard Niall sing 'we didn't end it like we were supposed to' I remember just breaking down in the studio and he coming out and giving me a hug, the minute he sung it I knew he was perfect for [What A Time] and it had to be him."

CARA CROKE, THE WHISP, JULY 2019: “We appreciate Niall Horan for more reasons than one. He was the dark horse of One Direction, his solo album was a banger, he’s Irish (duh), and he’s absolutely hilarious on Twitter. Niall isn’t afraid to speak his mind online."

RUTHANNE CUNNINGHAM, JULY 2019: “Niall is one of my faves to write with because he’s very involved; he knows who he is as an artist – and he’s Irish, so we always have a laugh as well. It never feels like work when I’m writing with him."

JULIA MICHAELS, LADY GANG PODCAST, JULY 2019: “Niall's one of my best friends... we have such similar personalities, we're super stupid and goofy. If I had to be stranded on a desert island with someone, I'd want it to be someone I could be super silly with.”

BEATA MURPHY (KIIS FM ASSISTANT PROGRAMMING DIRECTOR & MUISCDIRECTOR) & CONNOR HATCHEY (IHEARTRADIO LA DIGITAL PRODUCER), ADD THIS PODCAST, JULY 2019: “'You know who might be in the studio that we'll hear stuff from soon? Niall.' 'Really? Oh, awesome! He was the 1D member that I— it wasn't that I didn't think he was going to put out music, but he seemed perfectly fine golfing & just chillin after they split. But then he ended up putting out This Town which was an amazing song and following it up with Flicker —and he's been like the most successful— ahaha yes! out of all of them. It's not that no one expected it— it's just that everyone put all their eggs into the Harry basket.’”

#niall horan #solo Niall #Niall has the best friends

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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(Camila/You) - Phantasm - Chapter 4

“You… are… a… monster… A… fucking monster!”

Phantasm’s laugh echoed in my ears as I talked in between wheezes. I just got back from a six kilometer jog that the devil in my phone made me do. Not only did she make me run that long but she told me I had to do it in forty minutes. FORTY MINUTES. Just so I could get my set of three wishes today. I thought if I didn’t use some wishes I had in the previous days, they would carry over but oh no. She was intent on making my life a living hell.

Which is quite ironic since she’s actually the one who also gave me the dream life I’m living in right now.

After a few more gulps of breath, I finally had it in me to take a quick shower before going to my studio session today. I was already running a bit late but I don’t think it’ll be a problem since Julian told me yesterday that we were already well ahead of schedule with the album. There’s been no hiccups so far and we’ve resolved all the girls’ concerns in a minimal amount of time. Pretty soon, we’d go to post-production and just need to layer tracks and tweak some sounds here and there. After that, we’ll all be good to go.

I flashed my bodyguard a quick smile when he met me outside the hotel. He opened the car door for me and soon enough, I was on my way to work again.

A few weeks had already passed and Camila and I were stronger than ever. At least that’s what I wanted to think. Communication would flow naturally between us and I could honestly say it was one of the most enjoyable moments of my life—just being with her. Now, granted I did have a thing for her, but that just made it more worthwhile.

I mean, how could I not have a thing for her? She was kind, funny, easy to talk to, and just plain amazing. Could I see myself being with someone like her? Well, who didn’t? Which means I may have more competition than I first thought.

Maybe it was time I finally made a move on her?

Smiling at the thought, I entered the studio and almost instantly felt my heart drop.

Camila was hugging a guy right in front of me.

I had to mentally check if my jaw was still on my face when they pulled away from each other and turned in my direction.

“Oh my god, you’re Y/N!” he exclaimed. “I’m a huge fan.”

He then moved to hug me but I walked back just in time to slip away from his grasp. “What’s going on?”

The other girls were watching us as Camila made her way towards me. “This is Shawn Mendes. He’s an awesome singer,” she said, gesturing to him.

Shawn grinned at me and held out his hand. “That’s me.”

“That’s… you…” I drawled out while reluctantly shaking his hand. I know I only met the guy but there’s something about him that felt like a weight’s been pressed on my chest. “I assume you’re friends with the girls?”

“Yeah, they’re amazing.”

“Got that right,” I said. “So you’re visiting?”

“Uh, actually…” He turned to Camila and smiled. “I’m here to take Camila out for a celebration.”

The last three words didn’t even register in my mind because when I heard ‘take Camila out’, my mind was already going into overdrive. I studied the two of them as they both smiled at each other. Did this guy like Camila?

Or were they actually dating?

It seemed like I zoned out after that. My mind was in another place as I watched Camila and Shawn leave out the door together. Even when it was time for the girls to record, I wasn’t present. I was functioning—just not thinking or feeling.

If—if Camila and Shawn were dating, did that mean that I really was the only one who thought our times together was special? Did it mean nothing at all to her? Just when I finally decided I needed to make my move, someone’s already beat me to it. Just my luck.

Well, at least I still had something special I could share with her. The thought made me smile. Our song was something we both shared that no one could take away from us. Nothing could ruin that for us, right?

“Yo, Y/N, you coming?” I turned my chair and found Dinah looking at me. The other girls filed out of the door once the recording was done.

“Why? What’s up?”

“We’re going to Shawn’s party! Their song just got released,” Dinah said.

Everything stopped for me at that second as a thousand thoughts assaulted my mind. It can’t be. Our song was supposed to be—Camila wouldn't—I gulped before asking the question.

“Whose song?”

“Shawn and Camila’s! It’s the release of the song they wrote together.”

-//-//-//-//-//-

The penthouse suite was full of people who I assumed were all important in the music industry. Honestly though that’s about the only thing I know so I wished up some information about these people and now I realize that they really weren’t people worth knowing anything about anyway.

I took a sip of my drink as I looked around the room. These things were clearly only made to make their clients happy. The label would throw the singer a party to make sure they felt that they appreciated them. But they didn’t really appreciate the person but rather, the money that comes with them.

God, when did I become this bitter? Oh yeah, I know when.

I took another sip and watched Camila and Shawn laughing in the distance. Shawn was a little bit too close to Camila for my liking. He should probably step back about two feet—or two kilometers.

It was obvious that he had a thing for her. The way he smiled, the way he looked at her, the signs were all there. The only question was did Camila reciprocate? But even if she didn’t, what chance did I have? I’ve never made her smile or laugh like he did. They knew each other longer and I was just this outsider she only met because of a stupid wish.

And the worst part? Writing a song together with Camila wasn’t even special anymore because she already did it with him. He was her first partner.

There was nothing I could give her that the Mendes boy couldn’t.

And that realization fucking hurts.

I made my way past the guests and past the 'happy couple’ and stepped outside onto the balcony. The cold breeze brushed my face as I found myself leaning on the railings and looking at the city lights. I started thinking about my past life and how I never felt any of this before. There was no one I liked and no one I got jealous of. Yeah, I had no friends but at least it was simpler back then. I could only sigh at the predicament I found myself at.

“That’s a pretty big sigh. Anything bothering you?”

I turned around and saw Ally walking towards me. She handed me a drink and I took it, tapping it with hers before drinking.

“I’m just admiring the view,” I said. “Reminiscing a bit.”

She rested her arm on the railing and smiled at me. “About what?” I laughed but didn’t say anything. Ally had this way of reading me, she did it back at their house and she was doing it to me right now. “Why aren’t you mingling?”

“I’ve had my quota of mingling for the night. I’m all out.”

“Aww don’t say that, Y/N. Want me to introduce you to some people?” she asked.

“Sorry, Ally. I know you mean well but I’m just not up to meeting anyone right now.”

She tilted her head as the overhead lights illuminated her figure. “Hey, Y/N.” I was surprised by her serious tone. “Is this about Camila and Shawn?”

“Wha—” I couldn’t hide the surprise on my face as my heart raced. How the hell did she even think that was a possibility? Before I could do damage control, however, Ally already took my lack of words as confirmation that she was right.

“Want to talk about it?”

“There—there’s nothing—what are you talking about?” I stuttered. I let out a shaky laugh and involuntarily scratched my head. Okay, this was probably a really sad attempt at denying the truth.

Ally looked inside the room and I followed her gaze. She was looking at Camila and Shawn who were now seated on the couch. They were still smiling and laughing together which just broke my heart just a bit more.

“Don’t worry, I think I’m the only one who’s noticed.” She placed her hand on top of mine and gave me a soft smile. “I promise I’ll keep it a secret so why don’t you tell me about it?”

The funny thing was, without my mom or my sister here, I couldn’t talk to anyone else about what’s going on with my life. There was Phantasm, yeah, but she’s never shown any interest when it came to my problems so she was always a dead end. There was no harm in talking to Ally, I knew that. She would keep my secret and support me at the same time.

“This song,” I said, referring to the looping track of Shawn and Camila’s song, “it’s a great song.”

“It is,” she agreed. “They worked really hard on it too.”

“I’m writing a song with her.” Ally looked surprised at first but then turned thoughtful. “We’ve been writing a song together.”

Ally nodded. “So that’s why you guys always disappear somewhere together. I always think it was just so you could make out or something.”

“Ally!” I gasped. She was laughing and clearly having a lot of fun messing with me. I slowly felt myself getting more comfortable around her. She was clearing the air of all awkwardness and I appreciated that.

“I’m sorry, you should’ve seen your face.” After a while, we were both looking out at the night sky. This would be perfect songwriting ambiance but my mind and heart was too cluttered for words to even come out of me. There was a comfortable silence between us but it was Ally that broke it first.

“Do you love our girl, Y/N?” I turned and saw her studying me.

“I—I don’t know,” I answered. “But I do know that what I feel for Camila isn’t something I’ve ever felt for anyone before.” And it was true. I’ve never wanted to be by someone’s side more than I want to be by Camila’s.

“They’re not dating, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Ally smiled and continued. “Shawn may like Camila more than a friend but they’re not an item.”

I chuckled and was surprised at how bitter it sounded. “I don’t have a chance.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Look at them, Ally,” I said, gesturing at them together. “Look how he makes her happy. I’m not going to take that away from her.”

“You make her happy too, you know.”

“Yeah but the smile she shows me is different from the smile she has with him. She’s totally different when she’s with him. Whether I love her or not, it doesn’t matter. There’s no way she’d be interested in someone like me when Shawn’s right there for her.”

“You can’t just say that without even trying. The reason you think he’s winning is because you’re not even competing. You’ve gotta try, Y/N,” she reasoned.

She had a point but… “It’s a losing game for me, Ally. I’m not going to compete in something I’ll just lose in the long run. It’s like fighting a battle, getting hurt, knowing full well you’re going to lose.”

“Y/N…” she called out, grabbing my hand again.

“I had hope when we were writing a song together because I thought it was something special between the two of us. But now—now I know I was just deluding myself into thinking it was.”

“I'm—I’m sorry, Y/N.”

I smiled to let her know that it wasn’t her fault. Life just sometimes worked out for other people instead of you. My eyes found Camila’s figure again. My first love and my first heartbreak rolled up into a girl you only met once in a lifetime.

Yeah… bad timing to realize that I really was in love with Camila.

I clutched my phone tighter as I heard the echo of Camila’s laughter bouncing inside my head. There was a faint sound of Ally talking but the realization that I loved Camila and the realization that I couldn’t have her were just too much for me right now.

“I wish I was anywhere but here.”

My sudden outburst surprised Ally but before she could ask me what’s wrong, two of my bodyguards already walked towards us and told me I was needed in the studio. They needn’t say anything anymore before I was heading for the door with hurried steps.

But before I could turn the knob, I heard a familiar voice call my name. At any other time, I would’ve turned around in a heartbeat but I couldn’t face her right now.

I couldn’t face the girl I love with the knowledge that I wasn’t the one she needed.

And I never will be.

-//-//-//-//-//-

I felt myself shiver as the cold water splashed against my face. Looking up, I came face to face with my reflection, looking exhausted and spent. My eyes were a pinkish-red as sleep avoided me last night. I tossed and tumbled on my hotel bed but my mind was too busy thinking and wouldn’t give me a break.

My stupid brain was too busy thinking about Camila Cabello.

I shut the tap and wiped my face with a towel. There was no sound in the bathroom except for the rhythmic drip of water from the faucet. The moment I left the party last night, I didn’t even bother going to the studio. I just told my driver to drive me back to the hotel so I could rest. However, I did all but rest yesterday.

Camila assaulted my thoughts and it was like my mind was playing a montage of her eyes and her lips and just her everything. I couldn’t get the Cuban girl out of my head. Was this what love felt like? But luckily, something came up from all those thoughts I had of her since I wrote about two songs until I realized it was already four in the morning.

“You look like a zombie’s zombie.” I turned to my phone on the counter and saw my favorite iPhone demon. “Like if a zombie died and for some reason contracted the zombie virus again and became an even more hideous Zombie 2.0.” I rolled my eyes and just continued wiping the water from my face. “Or,” she continued, “if a zombie and Donald Trump had sex and had a child who was a deformed version of Jabba the Hut, you’ll be its shit.”

“Okay, we get it, I look horrible,” I grumbled.

“Understatement of the year,” she replied, shaking her head. “What even happened to you last night? You looked busy so I didn’t bother showing up.”

I raised my phone so we were face to face and glared at her. “Or you just couldn’t be bothered to care.”

“Well, yeah, there’s that too.”

I could only sigh as she laughed at my predicament. “If you must know, I was writing a song.”

“For Camila, right?” She offered me a soft smile and shook her head. “You already know I’m in complete control of your phone, right? I heard everything you said to Ally last night. Like how you think you have no chance against Shawn Mendes, who might I add, does look kind of cute,” she added the last words with a wink.

“I’m glad you find my heart break amusing.”

“Oh come on now, Y/N, don’t be like that. You know you still have me, right?”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

She gasped and pretended to look offended. “Don’t tell me you forgot who I am.”

I groaned and decided to play her game. “I didn’t. But what does you being an annoying second-rate genie have to do with anything?”

I smirked at the clear annoyance on her face. But as soon as it appeared, it was gone and replaced with a smirk of her own. “Because I’m a fucking powerful second-rate genie, you ass, and I can give you anything you want.”

It took me a few moments to realize what she meant. “No,” I said. “I am not doing that. That's—that’s… cheating.”

“What? It’s just a simple 'I wish Camila loved me instead’ as opposed to you sulking all the damn time.”

“That’s unethical!” I exclaimed. Just the thought of forcing someone to love me made my stomach twist in knots. “Sure I love her but I’m not going to force her into it.”

“So you’re prepared to lose her?”

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I knew I had no chance but my heart wouldn’t accept that. But if I did what Phantasm wanted me to do, I would be the worst person in the planet. Because I didn’t just control someone—

—I controlled someone to love me.

“No, okay? I am never going to do that. You cannot make me do that.” Phantasm and I just stared at each other for a while when she suddenly burst out laughing. “What’s going on?”

“I already knew you wouldn’t do that. I mean, yeah, I can do it but I’ll always silently judge you if you did wish for it anyway.” I chuckled as she smiled at me. “You know, I may be hard on you every once in a while but I’m always proud of the decisions you make. It’s easy to use your wishes all the time but you—you want things to get done with your own hard work if possible. I respect that.”

“Wow, thanks,” I said. It was surprising for her to open up to me like this. I always wondered what Phantasm was. Was she a robot? Was she a human? Did she feel any emotion at all?

“Whether it be Camila or your life in general, it’ll only get harder from here. So don’t be afraid to come to me if you need a little help, alright?”

I nodded. “I will. By the way,” I added, “what do you want me to do today so I can get my wishes?”

She smiled and looked up at me. “Just make sure to get some sleep, alright?”

“Well that’s abnormally nice of you.”

“Way to ruin the moment, idiot,” she said before disappearing and locking my phone. I checked my reflection one more time before I finally headed back to the studio.

I was reaching for the door handle when it swung open in front of me. My eyes met Camila’s as she was leaving the studio. We just stared at each other for a while before a cough brought me back to the present.

“Hey, Y/N,” she greeted. She was smiling at me and while my head would’ve spun when she did that to me before, all I noticed now was that this smile didn’t compare to the smile she showed Shawn.

“Where are you going?” I asked, my voice having a more monotonous tone than I intended.

Her smile faltered but she quickly got it back up. “I’m just going somewhere real quick, I’ll be right back.” She tried to slip past me but I stepped inside the studio and pulled the door closed behind me.

“We’re in the middle of recording.”

“I—I know,” she stuttered. “But I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“Where are you going anyway?” I asked, my tone sounding harsher than normal.

“Well, umm—” Her eyes looked anywhere else but on mine. And with her next words, I understood why. “Shawn and I are going out to a party.”

It was like everything stopped at that moment and there was only Camila and I in the room. I was entirely focused on her and on what she said. All the things I talked to Phantasm and Ally about letting go all went out the window and I snapped.

“What?”

“Well some of Shawn’s friends kind of got a party together for our song and he—”

“What the fuck?” I cut in. Suddenly, all eyes in the room were on me. “You’re leaving because you want to party?”

“No, no!” defended Camila. “It’s to promote our single.”

“Promote? We’re recording here, Camila. We’re recording for your album.”

“I know that but we still have to promote the single.”

“Y/N,” I heard Julian call out. “I told her it’s fine, we can just record her part another time.”

“No,” I said looking back at Camila. She looked like she was about to cry and I didn’t really feel good talking to her like this but the thought that even this time we had together—jamming, recording—was still being taken by Shawn, made me lose it. “So you’d rather go out there with some guy instead of recording your album?”

“No, I—”

“You’re jeopardizing this album because you’re giving some random abysmal song importance more than your band!”

“Y/N,” I heard Ally call out. But her voice couldn’t reach me. My heart was already broken and I just had to take out my frustration somewhere—anyone.

“You are in a band, Camila! The success of this album depends on you as much as the other girls so either get your shit together and go into that booth or get out of this studio right now and leave any hope of you becoming successful on your way out.”

My heavy breathing was the only thing that filled the silence. I didn’t register the weight of my words until I saw tears fall down Camila’s cheeks. All the anger and frustration flowed out of me in an instant as she wiped her eyes with her hands.

No, what the hell did I say? Why the fuck did I say that? I didn’t mean it, I was just frustrated. I was just angry that she would choose Shawn instead of me. I—I didn’t want this.

Before I could apologize, however, Camila was already running out the door with the other girls following after her. Ally was the last one to leave but not before whispering to me.

“I know you’re hurt but… you are a horrible human being.”

I couldn’t even reply before the door slammed behind me. Even Julian wouldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t want any of this to happen. My emotions got the better of me and before I knew it, I was already hurting someone I loved. If I was worried what Camila’s answer would be if I confessed before, now I didn’t even need to ask.

I already knew her answer.

A/N: Tbh I dont want to write Shawn as a bad guy. I mean, I dont stan him but, he seems nice and not a fuckboi unlike in other fics I’ve read

#UPDATE #series #non AU #slash #/you #angst drama #family #humour #romance fluff #submission #Phantasm

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