#i don't feel okay tbh this loneliness makes me feel bad as if i missed my train or something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychelis-new · 1 year

Note

Hi, I hope you are doing ok

You Haven't updated here for some days

I feel like I can't escape myself

I think I mean like my memories that tie me up to the present

I see myself going back to the time so often it's scary

It makes me lose the potential of the present but in my head everything was better in the past, even the bad times

And as I write this I still agree with it

But it scares me now

Because I feel like I live in the past

I visit it so much in my head

And like no one from it is here right now

I don't know why I make constant associations with the present and the past

Maybe because the change was a bit drastical for me?

Idk if that makes sense it's hard to explain and weird

Hi, yeah I'm kinda okay now. I caught a pretty strong cold and I needed to focus on me first... I still need that tbh. :)

So, as you mention, we cannot really escape from ourselves. We need to come to terms with us, but escaping is not a way to do that imo, it will only prologe the pain. I feel you may be scared to really confront your past though... And your present as well. Let me get there though. TBH, this may be a bit triggering for you, so decide when and if you feel like reading. And it's gonna be long cause I want to give you as many samples and things to think about as I can... ofc not all will resonate, but who knows.

Idk what type of change you went through: if change of home, inner change, change of school... maybe you realized something... Idk. But seen from your ask that you may consider it a turning point (?) to separate your life in past and present, you can start from realizing what that was/is about FOR YOU, what it meant, if you/it changed yourself, your views, anything about you and how. And then ask yourself some more questions like: Why do you feel you were doing better in the past, even when it was bad? What does your present lacks in comparison with your past? What/who do you miss now? Why? OR maybe, if you need: What do you lack/miss compared to your past self? (Reminder if this is the case that you're not lacking anything, it's your mind telling you so... you're only different, and things around you and you too, need to adapt to the new you. Take a breath, go slow. It takes time). I think you may be scared to actually know though (you say don't know why you make associations, but deep down, you're the only one knowing that... you never go that far down, and it's okay ofc, but... maybe that's where you need to go to understand), you may fear of having a certainty of any type, or realizing you were wrong or anything else. Remember it's okay to be wrong. If you cannot do it all alone, ask for help. But if you keep coming back to your past and make comparison with your present, I think you need to realize why. Maybe there's something you need to heal, accept, close or let go there in order to be able to go on in your present. Or something that you are convinced you can find only there, so past looks comforting (not true, you can find anything you need also now but it's probably going to look different, as you're different too, and you may need to realize and accept this). It could be other people, it could be you, it could be forgiveness... Whatever that is, to realize your "whys" you need to ask yourself questions and give yourself answers... What does your present lacks?

You kinda mention people at a certain point, and I think this prob means you now feel lonely while back in the days you were surrounded by friends and even if at times you weren't treated too well (Idk, I suppose), you "at least" didn't feel lonely. Is there anything right here in what I wrote? If it's about loneliness, check my recent posts please. It's a common feeling these days, reasons are many, things have changed as well after the pandemic in everyone's life... and relationships are hard, there's a lot that is going on for everyone in that department. It will take time but things can change. Try to be your friend and support yourself during these hard times. Talk with yourself about your own needs. Don't run away. You can find your way back home, to yourself now. Even if you feel so lost. Stop and breathe. Do not force things on you, take your time, go at your own pace. Trust your guts. Occasionally give yourself the chance to meet new people without comparing them with your past people or yourself with your past self and how you behaved. (Again: Who are you now? What do you want now? It's okay if it's different from the past. And it's okay if all this is still not giving you results. Results take time. Think about science and how long it took us to see so far into space, for example). Ofc, before all this, I think you need to end this thing with the past or find at least some kind of balance that won't block you from staying present and going forward (cause we always go there, and you know/wrote it too). Just take your time. Nobody is rushing you, only yourself. So you can tell yourself to stop for a moment or even two.

Again, realize why you felt better in the past. What makes you feel like it was better than your present? You felt more free? More "allowed" to be wrong? To be you? Do you feel blocked like you need to behave in a certain way cause now you're a "grown up"? Honestly, if it's so, this is just a misconception. You don't have to behave in any particular way, you can still be childish, and ofc you can be wrong. We need to be wrong sometimes, that's what learning and growing are about. And we can realize later that we were wrong or that we did something wrong in the past. It's okay, we probably didn't know. Even taking a sudden decision or trusting the wrong instinct. If you followed your heart, have no regret about it. No matter how it ended. Lesson understood and learned, let's move on.

Chances are many, try to check what yours is (or are) about. Sometimes situations kinda mix up so I wouldn't be surprised if more than one thing I mentioned may resonate. Just give yourself time to adapt to your change, whatever that is about. Sometimes sudden changes can be triggering, but you can take them as a opportunity to realize more about yourself, who you are, what you need, what/who you miss and why. And this doesn't mean the change is bad or negative. I think changes happen when we need them the most, and ofc when we don't realize that. So we need to sit down and have a talk with ourselves.

You ofc cannot feel free to live your present if you don't break the cycle with was has been and with what blocks you now from leaving it. If you don't realize what do you miss or lack now (as surroundings and feelings that were in your past), and try to give it yourself first. To give yourself freedom, first and foremost. Freedom to know yourself and be you. And talk about your problems. Don't be scared of them. Reach out for people too, do not isolate. No matter how weird things seem to you, talk about them. Someone will understand you no matter what. We often deem our experiences or thoughts as "stupid" or "not easy to understand" but we never even try to communicate them or explain them (probably cause they hurt us, and we unconsciously don't want to understand them well to not feel the pain we're trying to escape from? IDK)... But we should try. At least, try to write things down as if you wanted to explain them to yourself or ask yourself forgiveness for not being as present as you'd like (it's okay, remember, please. Don't feel guilty. You keep coming back is only your mind telling you need to work on something, on some type of emotion or connection you may miss probably. Or anything else). Tell yourself why you keep going back (yes, only you know, deep down. And again if it's way too scary or hard to afford, you don't have to do it alone. Ask for help). Writing helps us processing our thoughts. We can re-read stuff and realize a lot. And we can also burn the paper, if we need. Or you can record an audio, pretending to call sb... whatever feels more comfortable to you. You can imagine writing letters to people of your past, to your inner child/younger self, and make things up too. If you need, ofc. It will probably be painful, but... you can take your time and wait for when you're ready to let go (despite at times, we may wait forever to be ready).

Take care, I'm here if you need :)

#.#asks #pls always work with curiosity never with judgement

5 notes · View notes

addictedtodis · 1 year

Text

I regret everything

I regret being friends with people not because I hate them but because I am emotionally attached and invested to them. I miss the days when I was the quiet girl when back then nobody bothers me and in turn I don't bother them. I regret opening up to people and I regret showing my true personality or atleast a quarter of that. I hate that ever since that now I have people that I don't want to dissapoint I suffer because of overthinking thoughts that plagues me. I miss when silence weren't suffocating when it was actually welcomed. When I didn't have to spend my time laying on my bed having these thoughts that just don't make no sense. I regret every decision I made and action because maybe if I wasn't friends with any people. I wouldn't feel like this sometimes. I hate it that there will be consequences and I want to distance myself I want to do that yet everytime I get to do that I am plagued with guilt and sorrow. I hate the fact that i am being selfish thinking this way that I am trying to erase people that i know are good influences to my life by shutting them out.

I am trying so hard to stop it but I don't even know why my mood is erratic. I want to complain and I want yell and I want to cry but I'm being dramatic because you know this would be gone tomorrow so quick and so fast it doesn't even feel like I was sad. I miss the silence so so so much. I want it to be comforting again not like now when I always have to talk because I feel like I would disappear if I stop. Yet I contrast myself I don't want people to stop talking and I want to hear noise and I wanna hear about trivial things that is happening in other people's lives.

I hate that my brain does humor why can't it be serious for once. Why can't it acknowledge the fact that maybe I am just not fine at that moment. I hate that whenever something is wrong , I would either joke about it or run away from it. I hate crying even if it would help me all it do is make me exhausted. I don't wanna die yet I also don't wanna live. I feel like everything I do is contrasting. Sometimes I feel that what I am feeling is just not real that its just me getting affected by other peoples emotions tbh I'm blaming the internet. My secret is that I cannot stop thinking. I feel like a jerk a lot at times because if I feel hurt I'll ignore everything and make it look like there is no issue like why the fak would there be.

I don't even know what I am talking about the only thing that makes me relieved is the fact this feeling would be gone and I mean it would come back at another time but well atleast its not everyday. I hate that I decided today to pour my heart out and I would regret this in the future but ya know kinda promised to God i'll do this shet kinda went to church this morning—. Moving on everything is fine tbh kinda tired of my hyper af brain. So yah introducing myself it is I and pretty sure I hab a bad case of loneliness, overthinking, anxiety, mood swings, despression?( bruh no Im not — I be sad not depressed its different ) just overall being human.

But even with all these thoughts I hab I still like to remind that I still have faith in Humanity.

- this was supposed to be a confession about my mental state to my bestfriend but I was okay at the end of the day and I don't feel sad no more so yah I didn't send this shet but thats okay.

#mental health #mentally tired #kinda depressing #confession #thoughts #self isolation #self help #nonsense

2 notes · View notes

girlmounter · 3 years

Text

URGENT QUESTION TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS, I NEED YOUR FEEBACK!

Okay so here's the situation. I am asking you all to please please read this through and like, maybe tell me if I made the right decision... because I feel terrible about this. I would love it if someone told me if this is correct or wrong and I should've done something else. I'm not a popular blog, so whoever this post might reach (which is not going to be a lot of people) please please take some time out to read this through. I know it's a really long post, but I really really need your opinion on this. If you don't have the time right now, maybe just reblog it and save it for later. It would also help this post reach more people. Also please check the tags for the trigger warnings.

I have been going to a therapist for about 5 months now. My mom, as you probably know by now, is narcissistic and my dad enables her, along with my mom's parents who we live with. I have no siblings, and I just turned 17. Since we live in Asia, all you desi people know how hard society is on us when we go against our parents, who are supposed to be godly figures.

So all along, my therapist, (for confidentiality's sake we'll call him Sam, 21), has been bent on making me talk to them. I dont know why. I've tried explaining so many times that talking to my mom is not an option because 1) NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE DON'T EVER CHANGE and 2) my mom WILL use all my words against me and twist them into whatever she wants and later bring them up to bring me down. You guys with narcissistic parents know this shit too well.

It's not like I haven't ever even tried talking to them, I have! I've done it so many times, with a calm tone, in the most diplomatic way possible. There were times I tried to get the point across by crying and being desperate too. There were also times where I thought anger might work out.

It never did. It doesn't. It won't, because she is not looking for solutions or for mending the bond between us. All she wants is to infantilize me and keep me under her control forever. Mom and dad both want this. They don't ever want to let me out of their sights. They don't let me out of their sights.

A very long story short, I am supervised 24/7, I don't have much of a phone, I don't have friends, I don't have any family members who would support me, I don't have much of a family either tbh. I am monitored like crazy, gaslighted every single day, lied to, manipulated like hell, and babied to the point where it's just narcissistic infantilization and not concern anymore. To them, I'm a baby when it suits them, and I'm an adult when it suits them better that way. She doesn't care about what I think because apparently I'm a liar and to all those people out there who know the smear campaigning and the flying monkeys and the triangulation....yeah. All of that happens on a regular basis. I know I'm not providing any concrete proof and situations but please believe me. Please believe me. My memory is so shot I can't remember anything and i know it doesn't work out in my favor but please please believe me I'm telling the truth...

I have made three suicide attempts, I used to cut and was very badly addicted to it, and now I don't cut, but yeah I'll be sharing the reason in a little bit. Please hold on, this means a huge deal to me. Please don't scroll past this.

So Sam never really even had a smidge of doubt that my mom might be narcissistic, and I wasn't given the benefit of doubt either. After months of research when I myself figured that it might be narcissism, I told him and he went along with it. He does believe me now. But somehow I don't feel very understood. I dont feel better after I talk to him. I feel like my problems are trivial and that I'm just not working hard enough. I feel misunderstood and I never feel satisfied. I asked him for tips to deal with crushing loneliness and panic attacks and stuff like that, but I never receive real answers. When I asked for help with my suicidal thoughts, he just said that it's never an option and that's it. That's the only answer I got. When I asked for help with cutting, the only answer I got was that if I even tried to cut again, I'd lose him.

Like. Is that really how therapy is supposed to work?

Half of the time we just while time away, talking as if we're friends and I mean, it's a paid session. We're not very financially well off right now, what with the pandemic and everything, and we're paying him 2000 INR a week. It's a lot for us because we ain't exactly rich. That's like 10,000 INR a month.

I try to talk, I'm told that I don't stop talking and don't let him speak. When I don't speak, I'm not speaking enough. I dont feel comfortable anymore in a way that I think I should be with a therapist. I have recieved more helpful advice from actual PhD psychologists who are making videos on dealing with narcissism on YouTube. I feel more understood by them than I ever have with him. So many times I have left the session crying and hours later I'd still be stifling tears. So many times I don't feel heard and I feel like if I told him something he'd be angry. Sometimes he snaps and is like way too straightforward and it just doesn't do well with me. He doesn't support a lot of stuff that I support, like anti body shaming, especially for overweight people and stuff like LGBTQIA+ too, really. I'm mocked in an underhand way if I express that I support stuff that he doesn't really like. It's not straightforward but... I can't shake the feeling.

I do sometimes look forward to the sessions, if only because I'll have someone to talk to...but that's pretty much it. I'm not getting anything out of this. He claims that no one will understand me the way he does, and he keeps comparing my life to his, which I don't like. He says that in a way he and I both very similar and he relates to me and then proceeds to tell me about events in his life. He says that I'm his favorite client and now a good friend too, but I feel like that's not how it should be. And I do make an effort to listen to him tell me stuff about his life but...shouldn't it be the other way round?

Now I'm not saying that he is a bad person. I have loads of my own issues too; severe depression, crippling anxiety, overthinking every freaking thing, I'm like 100% sure I have complex PTSD from this childhood trauma, constant pain everywhere, crazy headaches, flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations sometimes, and major emotion repression. I'm dealing with a million and one things right now and yes that might be causing me to feel worse about this situation than I should. I admit that I'm not exactly thinking about this in a diplomatic way...but somehow it doesn't feel right, and hence this really long post.

If you're still here, thank you so much. Your reading this is doing something that means a lot to me. Truly.

He exercises a lot, and he gave me a whole schedule to follow with the meals I should eat and the exercise I should do and somehow I never feel like I'm doing enough. If I miss out I can't tell him because he always reprimands me for messing up. I dont feel comfortable about opening up and then he forces me to do that and then when I do I don't feel better.

Lately, we'd been talking about how I need to tell my parents to their face what I feel is wrong with their actions, and how without that happening there's no point to our sessions anymore. Straight up went that if I don't talk to them on this Sunday, then we're not going to have sessions anymore.

I tried explaining to him many times how my mom will never change, how I don't want to enrage them further, how I don't want to give her more information on my life that she can use against me again...but no use.

He insisted over and over again on how she has no idea what she's doing to me, and if we just talked it out, my whole situation will be fine. This is just a huge misunderstanding.

I tried so hard to make him understand that that's not how it works for her, she doesn't want to resolve things and she'll just jump at the first chance she gets to use all my information against me, but no. I tried telling him that I have talked to her before and that I also used to think that if I just told her what they were doing wrong, then they would understand and mend their ways, I mean it took me YEARS to convince myself that it was never gonna happen! I tried it so many times and everytime I fell for this trap and everytime I regretted it but he doesn't get that! At all! That they're never gonna change!

Instead of helping me get over them, instead of telling me how to move on, instead of helping me grieve over my entire childhood... he was forcing me to talk things out with them, because if I didn't tell them I would be keeping it inside me and letting that fester would be bad.

I agree that it's not healthy for me to keep things to myself, which is why I talked to him right? And the things which are troubling me cannot be resolved with them because they refuse to change their ways!

The only thing that would come out of that family discussion is me at a disadvantage and them at an advantage by having all the latest scoop on my life and then have my mom (who is a doctor who has also done a course on CBT) psychoanalyse me even more than she does now. I'd be tailed harder. It will get worse and I know it. I've seen it and I promised myself that I would never make the same mistake of opening up to them honestly ever again. And here Sam wanted me to that very thing.

And I agreed initially, I tried convincing myself that maybe it'll work out and after all, Sam will be defending me and everything (even though he did say he would support them if he found them correct) but I didn't feel good about it. I remembered that a therapist is supposed to make you feel more at ease and let you take your own time to process through things and never force a client to do something if they had doubts about it.

And so I texted him today, and I refused. He said we won't have any more sessions, but I said it's fine. Because I don't want to go to him anymore anyway. I think I would rather have no one to talk to, than have someone belittle my experiences and just overall make me feel worse than I did when I first entered the session.

There's more stuff that was related to this, and if you guys want to know something before making your judgement of this situation, please please please ask me, message me, but please just have a bird's eye view on this whole thing and tell me if I made the right decision...please.

I would really appreciate some feedback right now.

Thank you so,so much for sticking with me till the end of this post. It means the world to me, honestly. I couldn't thank you more.

18 notes · View notes

mefausto19 · 3 years

Note

for ask meme:

distance, 10 + 1

when the dust settles i will still be alone, 9 (which is really just me asking for context)

i miss myself (who am i now?) or everything will be okay, 8

trust me, 1

love your fics. hoping u have a good day

— @greythroat

distance:

10. i would definitely change some things about amiya's characterization! ive been planning on editing it actually dsfjkhsh. i think i would also change the ending a little bit and make the fic longer, with more scenes and plot beats.

1. i wanted to write a fic for you, and you seemed to really like mephiami! so i was thinking about what would be a good premise for them and tbh when i try to push two characters i always want to end up making them stuck together in some way,, and i loved the idea of mephi viewing amiya as his savior and all of the complications that would arise from that.

a lot of the general prose and setting and everything is inspired by ur works! they all have a certain feel to them and i was thinking ab them when i wrote them. they're all so wonderfully mysterious and descriptive

when the dust settles:

9. JDHNKJDFHNKDFG,, UHH,, i don't feel that bad about spoiling it bc ppl can find the wip if they look thru my twt/tumblr. it's just an au where faust and mephi never met. faust gets involved with the other homeless infected kids, and eventually they betray him. he gets involved with other gangs and shady places, which leads to the main story. if i ever decide to pick the fic up again, then the plot leads to eventually confronting them and faust and mephi growing closer.

mephi's life meanwhile was kinda just a quest to die but getting stopped by his own artst/later talu. when lungmen happens he's ecstatic because talu doesn't need him anymore, but faust manages to stop him. and then they run off tgt

i miss myself

8. The fic title is actually a song lyric on it's own! it's from "I Miss Myself" by NOTD and HRVY. the chorus of it goes like this:

I miss myself; the one I was before I found you Who am I now? Who am I now, when I'm without you?

but beyond that, there's "Silent" by Embody, "Space" by Hands like Houses, "Modern Loneliness" by Lauv, "Hurt Somebody" by Noah Kahan and Julia Michaels, and every sad song i have on my playlist ksdjhsk

Everything will be okay

8. there's "Weight" by Hands like Houses, "Monsters" by All Time Low, and then "Grey Havens" also by Hands like Houses.

trust me

1. on the faume discord server one of my friends started talking about a talfrost au! it was really interesting and i got really into the au and talfrost from that conversation shjkdsh. i brought up the idea of talu being able to touch frostie there, and i started thinking about a canonverse oneshot about the idea.

love you and ur fics!! hope ur doing well

1 note · View note

sweatblvvdtears · 5 years

Text

i'm no childish much but the tendency to sleeping with my bear ? yes . that bad habit is still there. everynight and everytime i'm at home + in my room . i don't miss any single of it. it helps me cope with my loneliness in reality . i don't have lover or something and i'm a she anyway . some mistaken i'm a dude smh tbh . some doesn't believe me i'm a she , girl irl via online . i know i'm not feminine or looks like the usual one much in reality or something but i'm just being myself . it gets worse when i'm on via Apex or any social apps . mostly thought i'm like this or that . am i really sounded like that or something ? silly people via online , some just wanna add me via their social media or any app so they can hear my voice or see my face or something . how rude . none of them trust me . it offended me tbh a bit. some said i'm lying for telling that i'm a she irl. wtf . i already told the truth & you're twisting your own opinions also judgements back to me . that's not cool or okay . you only makes me feel lonely by giving that infos to me . like i'm not part of genders equality. it kinda makes me feel sad or feeling weird about you . why your head or eyes or judgements looking at me that way . misunderstood ? :/

#p #.txt #tw #about #irl #thought #vent #confessions

1 note · View note

toycarousel · 7 years

Note

So I'm the anon that was recently abandoned. His boyfriend made him abandon me like that I guess? But it still really hurt and I'm pretty upset with him still, but I fucking have lingering feelings. It hurt a lot when he did that to me, and I don't know whether to forgive him or continue moving on. At this point I don't know what to do but if I see him in person I might fucking punch him. But anyways, I'm not going to drown out my feelings with substances. So maybe, I could get some help?

I can't take this anymore, same anon that was abandoned. I wanna use some sort of substance to numb the pain but I would be in big shit if I were caught. I never wanted or asked for this. All I wanted was a smile or two.

(Sorry about my long response -- what you’ve said is very important, and resonated with me, and you can talk to me about how you’re feeling anytime you want!!!) Hello, Anon! For some reason, I can’t find your original ask, or what I said in response, though I clearly remember what you said in those asks!!! : ( I must just be missing it on my page... (so if I end up repeating myself a bit here, my apologies ahead of time!!!)

In any case, I’m proud of you for holding out on doing any substances thus far. I know exactly how tempting they can be, and I know what those days feel like -- those times where you are so devastated and so angry with others, with yourself, and with the situation you’ve been thrown into, that it’s hard to remember why substances shouldn’t be an option.

Every single day I think to myself “why not just do meth again? Sure, you’ve written out all the pros and cons of doing it, but you know you can’t truly emotionally connect to why you care what happens to you at this point, so why not just go ahead and let yourself die? You’ve been screwed over, and it’s not getting better, go MAKE it better -- and worse -- and do it.”

I know these thoughts and emotions very thoroughly -- and I know what being abandoned by someone you love feels like. But please, read what I’m about to say below. It may not be life-altering or anything, but it will always be important, because you’ll always be important, even when you feel like you’re nothing.

Substances will give you a few hours of relief, at most. But as soon as they’re done giving that to you, they’ll take everything away from you. Your brain will have lost all its serotonin, GABA, dopamine, endorphins, and norepinephrine reserves... so on top of still having to face the horrible, unfair things that you’re going through... you’ll feel even worse, because none of your regular, somewhat positive emotions will even physically happen anymore and it’ll take even longer to feel the tiniest bit better... and that’s how addiction forms. When those few hours are up, you’ll chase the next few hours, upping your substance use more and more and more until they stop actually giving you those few hours of reprieve, but you’re still stuck with all your previous pain, and a hollow, ineffective addiction on top of everything.

There’s a quote I saw in my DBT handbook (I’ve got BPD, so I’m in a program for it), and it reads “Would you rather have a good day, or a good life?” This quote hasn’t done much for me yet, because I’m not quite letting it. But I know how true this concept is for people. Drugs and/or liquor will let you look at what’s happening (the pain, the abandonment, the unfairness, the sense of betrayal, the anger, the loneliness) and take it in stride for a second, but you’ll still be thinking about it during, and afterward, and those thoughts and painful emotions will be amplified.

There are things we can’t control about people. You can’t control the fact that he abandoned you because he let his boyfriend tell him what to do. You can’t force him to change, or to look at this fairly, or to consider your feelings. The most you can do is explain to him what’s going on from your perspective, and hope that he listens, and that he chooses to let your words truly sink in. If he doesn’t, it’s his own choice, and his own fault, and his own loss.

And I know that’s not exactly comforting -- we want to be able to show people the consequences of their actions, and have them actually care about us, and come back to us so we can share with them what we once did! And your feelings, whatever they may be, are valid, Anon. You have every right to be angry, to have the urge to lash out, to mourn the change in your relationship to him. None of this makes you a bad person in any way, and every single aspect of what you’ve said here is understandable, tbh.

When it gets to the point where you can’t control what happens next though (like, if you’ve exhausted all the ways in which you could possibly solve this issue), then you have to move forward. If forgiving him helps you do that, then go for it, but you don’t owe him that, and oftentimes we can move forward without actively forgiving someone (it’s entirely up to you, and there’s no wrong decision there). If nothing more can be done, and what’s happened has happened, and isn’t something you can change -- that’s not your fault. It’s safer to radically accept what has happened -- meaning that you gotta let yourself see the facts, no matter how awful and unfair they are -- and still keep moving forward with your own, individual life.

It’s okay to take the time to grieve, and to be angry, and heartbroken. Soothe yourself in any safe way you can think of (anything distracting -- games, movies, just something that is very engaging to you), and let yourself have these emotions while realizing that they will change over time, and depending on whatever comes next, you know? Change is like, the one thing that doesn’t change. And you don’t deserve to be unhappy, stuck with any addictions, or trapped in one place because this person made a choice that caused harm to you.

Radical acceptance of a situation doesn’t necessarily mean you feel good about things (most of the time, ppl don’t feel good about what happened). It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to forgive anyone, approve of what anyone did, be okay with the situation, or anything like that. It just means that you keep making your own progress (building your own life worth living), within the circumstances that life tossed your way.

There are a lot of people out there, and you’ll continue to change and grow. That means that there will be better opportunities, and better folks in your life, and you can have those things -- you deserve those things!!!

And you do deserve a smile or two. You deserve much more than that, in fact. And if this person/the other people involved in this situation choose not to give that to you, again, their loss. Their actions will have consequences as well. But your needs can certainly be fulfilled by your own growth, your own experiences and decisions, as well as relationships that are far better for you in the long-term!!! I care about what you’re going through, Anon, and as I stated above, you can always come here to talk/vent/etc., whenever you feel like it~! Take care of yourself... you are valuable and lovable!!! xoxoxo

#advice asks #relationships #abandonment #radical acceptance #substance abuse #drugs mention -#swears -#alcohol mention -#mild violence mention -#long post -#anons #scotchasks

5 notes · View notes