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jemmo · 2 years

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the bedroom pas de deux // ep 11

i kinda dropped my whole comparison of the romeo and juliet ballet to bad buddy bc i dont have a full version of the ballet to watch and bc i was wallowing in my emotions so much that it was kinda above my mental capacity. but there had always been another pas de deux thats available on the royal opera house youtube channel that i was waiting and waiting to do a comparison for, that being the bedroom pas de deux. and i was waiting bc i wasn’t even sure if there was gonna be a good point for comparison in bad buddy. the bedroom pas de deux is the last time romeo and juliet see each other, before all hell breaks loose and murders happen and you know the rest. this is their final and most intimate moment together, and i wasn’t sure where the plot of bad buddy was headed so i wasn’t sure if we’d get something akin to this.

but i should’ve known better. p’aof is clearly sticking to his shakespearian parallels, and as soon as pat said ‘lets get away from here’ i had a suspicion that finally the episode to mirror the bedroom pas de deux was upon us, and by god i was right.

first off, we have to talk about the title, the bedroom pas de deux. we all know what goes down in ep 11 3/4 so there’s obvious parallels there that link these points in their respective stories. just as a side note, i find this interesting going forward for predictions as a lot happens after this in romeo and juliet, a lot a lot of drama, but we only have 1 ep left for bad buddy. obviously bad buddy isn’t a direct retelling and points that parallel have been out of order and inconsistent so far in my reading of a comparison, but hey its worth pointing out and thinking about in these long says wait. anyway, these scenes both in the ballet and the show are about the characters being intimate sexually and that after glow that follows. in romeo and juliet, this is more by the book, as in they’ve gotten married in secret and are making love for the first time, and with the youth and innocence of the characters there’s that classic air of the ‘loss of virginity’. as bad buddy is more modern, this has less of a focus. first off, its not said definitely either way whether pat and pran have been intimate prior to this or not, in any capacity, and that brings in the argument of what is virginity and when is it lost, through what acts??

but thats me getting side tracked; what i want to mention more so is all the marriage talk thats been happening over the past 2 eps. we get a mock proposal on the stairs and then the words are dropped again and again through ep 10. its as if, by playing with the idea, they go through the motions of a marriage, but obviously this discussion is something that has to stay fictional and fantastical due to the legality of gay marriage. we get some branching from the classic narrative as pat and pran’s parents find out, whereas romeo and juliet’s families never find out about their relationship, but then we’re back to a honeymoon phase. and while romeo and juliet can only have that one night of intimacy and the morning after as their honeymoon, this gets extended for pat and pran through their temporary escape. and i like this bc, compared to the original narrative, which is very much a stolen moment of passion, with lower stakes as they don’t know what is ahead and have no plans to part, pat and pran are dealing with a lot more. they’ve come here in the aftermath of a fallout, and with the looming and ever-growing threat of separation. its all there, in the front of their minds, and so they need more time, they need an actual honeymoon that extends beyond an evening of intimacy and a stolen morning before parting. and thats why, for this pas de deux, you can make more direct parallels to the morning after scenes in bad buddy, but also more generally see this pas de deux as the episode as a whole, bc both are the extent of the honeymoon they get, and therefore share similar emotions.

now comes the bit where i talk about the dancing even though i have no clue what i’m talking about but here i go.

(here’s the video of the pas de deux btw)

the world spins

what i first registered upon watching this pas de deux with fresh eyes was that there’s a lot of spinning. a lot. a lot of the partner work is spins, moves are entered into with spins, lifts are spins. and i think this very well reflects this moment of loss and confusion for pat and pran, the fact that the world seems to be spinning too fast, things are happening too quickly and they can’t keep up, and all they want is a moment of respite, which they find in each other. i’ve picked out some of my favourite spin moments here.

this one i love for its changes in direction, how the spin starts facing away before juliet spins in to face romeo, then spins away to look outwards before spinning back in to be lifted in romeo’s embrace. you can follow how the directions represent that exact push and pull between what they want, being together, and what the world wants, for them to be apart. and way they spin into each other and back out and then in again is also matched in their eyeline, looking at each other, then looking out into the world, and then in the lift there’s almost this merging of the two. juliet looks up into the sky, but to look up she has to look at romeo too, and similarly romeo looks up while also glancing at juliet. its as though the final lift is a wish for the world they’re looking out to to have each other in it. they spin lost in despair and confusion and look to the sky praying it will provide some kind of hope that out there somewhere is a world with the other in it, that its not one or the other. and yet at the same, that wish is also an acknowledgement of the facts, something that pat very much had to go through this ep. by wishing for a future with pran in it, pats also admitting that the future he knows is coming doesnt have pran. thats why when asked what he wants to do after graduation he says take over the family business. he’s known all along, its always been in the back of his mind that this cant be serious, its a pipe dream to try and commit to this. and so he sees pran and he sees the world and he looks to the sky thinking why cant it be simple? how can the two exist at the same time and yet seem to repel each other like oil and water? and when the push and pull is over, where are they gonna end up? when the world stops spinning, where will they land?

this spin i love for how erratic it is. i talked in previous comparisons to the ballet about the bourrée, and about how a bourrée backwards is a motif for juliet throughout the ballet, showing both her obedience and rejection of the expectations put on her by her family. and i find it so interesting here that we get a hint of that bourrée. its the only time we see it in the pas de deux, and its such a fleeting moment that you almost miss it, but those small movements of the feet are there. but here they’re much slower, and they’re moving forward. juliet’s bourrée is most predominantly backwards, her running away from both paris, bc she doesn’t want to be with him, doesn’t want the life set out for her by her parents, and from romeo, bc she subconciously knows that she should distance herself, they shouldnt be together. the forward movement here also speaks of subconcious control which very much fits pran, this time the messages his parents have drilled into her telling him to run away, move forward, go to them, some nebulous space off stage where pat isn’t. he starts running away from pat but slows into this bourrée that speaks of his weak and defeated retreat to what he’s been told is right, only for pat to grip his shoulders and send him spinning into his arms. its a spin of such speed that speaks of how completely dizzy pran feels, how things have been turned upside down, how him rejecting familial expectations has sent him spiralling down an unknown path. but the path ultimately leads to pat, he catches him in his arms and rights him on his own two feet, grounding him in that moment, telling him it might feel like the world is spinning, but i’ll hold onto you, i’ll control the chaos as much as i can. so much may be uncertain, but us in this moment is still and calm and true, and that helps the dizziness fade.

this final moment is just one of my faves in the pas de deux, and i put it here bc of how it contrasts the speed and chaos of the spins above and many of the spins we see in the piece. its a repeated move thats almost like romeo teaching juliet how to walk again, and i see this very much in pat and pran’s escape, where pran has just broken into a million pieces on the rooftop and by getting away, pat is finding away to put those pieces back together, bringing life back into pran when he thought he’d lost it all, showing pran that when he reaches the end of his tether, he can still put one foot in front of the other and move forward. and the spin is slower and simple, just a single turn that says the world turns on its axis just like i keep on living, an inevitability of life. and when you cant take it anymore, wish it would all stop, i’ll be there to slow the turn of the earth, hold you and keep you steady and guide you forward.

the weight of the world

there is also a motif of exhaustion in the piece, which we see through moments where juliet becomes deadweight in romeo’s arms, very reflective of pran’s exhaustion after breaking down and admitting he cant cope with it all anymore. he is well and truly at his breaking point, and in these moments, if it wasn’t for pat holding him, keeping him upright, he’d break down.

but these moments also speak of trust, again something we see when pran falls apart in pat’s arms. there’s trust there that pat will hold him, he trusts him enough to be this open and exposed around him, let his emotions be that raw and trusts that pat will handle them with care, handle him with care, not let him fall. its reflected in the movement, the way that juliet lets all strength leave her body, lets herself become truly weak, so that only romeo’s arm around her waist keeps her up. bc its only by letting go so fully that you can truly feel the strength of the other person holding you up. its when you’re at your weakest that you are hit with the the indisputable proof of just how strong someone can be for you. you let everything go and yet a single arm can keep you from falling. in the same way, by breaking down so fully, pran gets to see the simplicity in how pat takes care of him. and for pat, he’s not at his strongest in that moment either, he’s breaking down too. but by offering a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, an arm to keep pran upright, he can keep him from breaking even when he’s threatening to break himself. he doesn’t need to keep himself composed, bc the simplest of gestures can offer all the solace pran needs. it’s just an arm, and yet it keeps the both of them upright, and together.

i especially love the progression of this move. the united hands held together in the air is a repetition of the move before, and speaks of how in the midst of loss and confusion, they gravitate towards and can ground themselves in each other. they are the thing tethering each other to the moment, even when thinks spin out of control, even as exhaustion creeps in, even when they feel lethargic and weak, its that uniting action at the start that gives them the trust in each other to fall apart in the others arms.

this final example i find especially poignant, bc i think its reflective of a trend in pat and pran’s story whereby when they’re at their highest, they fall down to their lowest. we’ve seen it time and time again; the christmas concert, the curtain falling, running into pat’s dad. all these moments where they were at their happiest being brought crashing down. you can see it here with romeo lifting juliet, bc the lift makes it so juliet is faced with the world, she looks out. oftentimes its when pat and pran reach the heights of their happiness that they are most brutally faced with the reality of the world, so when romeo lifts juliet with strength and joy, only for her to be faced with the harsh truths of the world, thats what causes her to break, and she tumbles back down into romeo’s arms as deadweight, as if in that moment truly defeated by the world she saw. pat and pran have had these experiences before. its in the small moments, like when they talk about wanting to eat hotpot together. its said in a moment of happiness, and its born from wanting joy, but it brings to light everything they can’t have and just like that the moment dissolves into cruel pain.

i say all this bc i think the best example of this we get in ep 11. pat is dreaming of a life they could forge here, he’s trying to make it happen, he’s trying to lift pran into that world where they can be together. but when pran sees it, all he can see is whats not there, namely his family, and the difficulties of the situation. thats just pran, he was born a dreamer and forced to be a realist. and seeing all the harshness of it, being lifted into pat’s world of dreams but only seeing impossibility, it defeats him. he cant live in that world, and then pat has to see pran’s lifeless body and know that’s what he could become if he tried to pursue that life. pran has his own wants and dreams and he shouldn’t have to sacrifice them for their relationship to work, hence why they ultimately go home, bc pat sees that pran wants more, and staying there would only limit him, and he doesnt want that. doesnt want to see the life and glow of aspiration slowly leave pran as he lives their simple life. pran has had to sacrifice too much to sacrifice his dreams too, and pat doesn’t want him do that for him.

mirror images

throughout the piece, which predominantly has a lot of flow and and ease, are moments of rigidness, where the dancers pose stiffly in position. this is very likely me reaching, but i love how these moments tell a small story, namely the story of pat and pran coming to terms that separation is nigh, and that they must trust that the other has the strength to stand alone so that they can be united once again.

in this first pose, both romeo and juliet are reaching forward, each of their arms mirroring the others. this makes me think of pat saying ‘you fight alongside me’, bc here they are together, reaching towards the same thing, wanting the same world, one where they are together, bodies matched in their pursuit of that future. and also note that they are reaching forward, very much trying to go on, move on from the past that has subjected them to so much hurt. this is very much like the start of the ep where they’re united in their want for escape, they’re on the same page at this point, that page being we need to get away.

the second time we see this posture, its romeo leaning juliet into position. here, its not about them being together, its about romeo seeing that juliet can hold her own. it makes me think of all the times in the episode where pat is just looking at pran without him knowing, looking at pran looking wistfully at the guitar, looking at pran walking towards the dinner table and cherishing the moment of them being able to simply exist together, looking at pran as he looks out to the ocean and thinks of his mom and sees that he’s worrying about her. pat is continually trying to gauge where pran is at, how he’s coping, how he’s feeling, what’s on his mind. and here, romeo looks at juliet assuming this position and sees that she can do it, she can hold her own, she is strong enough. bc this episode was all about pat and pran reaffirming their relationship and strengthening it so that it can withstand whatever will come. so when romeo places juliet like this, its him seeing that she doesnt need all his strength to be in that position. pran has enough fight in him now, he doesn’t need pat to fight for them alone, he can do it too, he can hold his own. just hold him there and he’ll still be reaching forward, still trying to pursue that future where they’re together. even when he’s alone, he’ll still be reaching for it.

but then we get this reversal of the first pose, where romeo is still reaching forward, but juliet is reaching behind. bc this is where they get to, a point where they are at odds, a point where pat is still very much trying to pursue that dream life of him and pran, together, in peace, and happy. but pran feels himself being pulled back, hears the voices niggling in his head telling him he has to go home, it wont work, they cant do that. he cant sacrifice his whole life that fully, and even if he shouldnt, he still cares. still cares for his parents, worries about them, loves them. the familial bond is pulling him back while pat is pushing forward, and that is where the dream starts to break, bc they aren’t dreaming together anymore. pat is up in the clouds while pran has fallen back to reality, and they cant stay isolated in those worlds without the other. they need to decide, forwards or backwards, where are they going, bc they have to go together.

and we see that togetherness in this final move where they match each other, romeo placing juliets foot in front of his and juliet moving her other to mirror his stance. it speaks of both pat and pran reaching a point together, both meeting each other to be united. its not pat forcing pran to match him or vice versa, its them matching one another, assuming the same position through both their efforts. its not one sacrificing and the other not, its them both sacrificing something to be in this fight together. and then romeo reaches to the sky, bc he still feels the pull of that faraway dream, but juliet pulls his arm down into an embrace, as if to say ‘dont dream of the future when its not certain. dont wish for a world we cant have. just hold me now, in this moment, let us be together and treasure it. let us live in this perfect present before its lost’. thats what we see on pat and pran’s final night, them coming to accept whats ahead, but saying this final night shall be ours, and we will live it without sadness or fear or bitterness. we will not regret wasting time on dreaming, bc this moment with you is a dream. no more reaching, no more wishing, no more strength, just us and now, thats enough.

the world creeps in

i did a watch of this pas de deux just following romeo’s eyeline, and i found it fascinating. bc its always on juliet. he is constantly looking at her, or when he cant, looking in the direction she is. and this is so pat. pran is at the centre of his world and he just cant take his eyes off him, cant pull himself away, cant see anything past him. and after everything thats happened, all the external forces creeping in, he wants a world that is just pran, nothing else. he wants a world where he can just look at the man he loves and pretend nothing else exists. and thats what he starts out doing, he focuses on pran. he’s seen him break down and keeps himself so attuned to him so he knows how hes doing, if he’s ok, if he is feeling better. there’s so much shit going on but pran is and will always be his number one priority. but the more he looks at pran, the more he sees pran looking out, conscious of the world, and it makes it harder and harder for him to ignore it. when he sees pran thinking about all this stuff, it becomes more impossible for him not to think about it too. and thats when we get this moment.

romeo’s eyeline - on juliet until moment where they open up to and face the world and then becomes more conscious of environment (whereas juliet more constantly conscious)

its very much a turning point. they spin and look out to the world and open up, offer themselves to it, bare their souls, say this is what we are. we see you world, we know the reality of whats out there, but what more can we do than give ourselves to you, together and united in the honesty of our relationship. they face a cruel world, they see it and admit what it is, and it terrifies them, makes them recoil, turn to each other for comfort, bc its too hard to face. i love this moment, bc unlike a lot of male ballet, this pas de deux doesnt really contain any what i call ‘presentation moments’ for romeo, where he’s showing off to the audience. there’s only this. and it creates such an intimate mood for the whole piece, which is why this move feels so alien. it contributes to that expectation people have of pat and pran to present, to act, to play their roles. to be the perfect dancers, but all they want is to hold each other. they dont want to play that part, they just want each other. and this is not a dance for us, for the outside world, its a dance for them, a chance to be together.

and after this, romeo has a lot more moments where he too is looking outwards, away from juliet, by himself. he feels the world creeping in, he can no longer ignore it. reality is approaching, and he feels time slipping away, knows how much he must treasure now bc tomorrow is looming ever closer. he too has moments where he runs away, he too has moments where he looks out at the unfair world in defeat, pat tried to stay strong and positive for pran, but he slowly cracks, we see the veneer of hope fade as he too faces reality. we see him cry more, we see him pursuing comfort from pran. he’s slowly falling back to earth, where the world cant be just pran, and he has to find a way to deal with that.

a promise

i love this final move. if you wont watch the whole thing or if you dont care about any of this shit, at least appreciate this final move. its beautiful, and is the perfect physical metaphor for what pat and pran are going through. its repeated twice. juliet crumbles to the floor weak and defeated, but romeo lifts her and rights her on her foot, just like pran falls apart in pats arms and pat grounds him, holds him at his weakest and coaxes him back to life, shows him how to stand tall and strong again. and then theres this move of strength where they push away from each other. this is pat and pran having to be strong in their separation, having to push against the gravity that pulls them together with all their strength, stretch as far apart as their bodies will let them. bc they may be apart, but there’s still a point of contact in the hands. it may not be physical for pat and pran, but they will always be holding onto each other, and that will always bring them strength when they’re apart. and its through that strength, that push, that opposition of what drags them together, that when the time is right, they can let go, they can release hands, stop holding on, not have to be strong anymore. and they will fall back together. the gravity will pull them together again. they will fall into each others arms as they were always predestined to. when juliet lets go and lets herself fall, romeo will be there to catch her. and when pran doesn’t have to pull away anymore, he can be caught by pat like its second nature, like thats where he’s always belonged, bc it was inevitable that no matter how long it took, thats where they were always going to end up.

and i love that they repeat it. its like first they’re testing if this will work, if this way forward will lead to the future they want. then they do it again, reaffirm that they can do this, they have the strength to part. and the final time, right at the end of the piece, you see romeo right juliet on her foot. and instead of before, where she fell into his arms, as if to say not yet, i cant do it yet, im not ready to leave you, this time, she looks at romeo in position, shaking her head as if to say no, i dont think i can, i cant leave, this isnt right, this isnt what i want, but she ultimately leaves. romeo lets go, and for a moment she is suspended on pointe, feeling the absolute emptiness and unbalance of not being held, and yet she stays upright, she can hold it, she can do it, and so she leaves. i love this so so much. i love that subtle shake of the head that says i dont want to go. its the exact mood of pat and pran standing outside of their houses, knowing what they have to do, having decided the way ahead, and still thinking no, i dont want it. its like theyve gone over and over the moment in their heads, but stood there, apart, the future waiting for them inside, it kinda breaks them that theyve ran and ran until they cant run anymore. there’s nowhere else to turn to. all they can do is face it. and they hate it, but they leave. and the pas de deux, the honeymoon, ends.

if you’ve got to the end of this, congrats. i dont know is this makes any sense i feel like an emotional sponge getting rung dry at this point. i just wanted to ramble, but words have been escaping me this week, so i needed to channel my feeling somehow, and this framing of the ballet has just helped me get something out, even if its messy and incoherent. but yeah tl;dr is this pas de deux is ep 11 and its beautiful and im emo. enjoy.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #wow ive been typing random bits of this across 3 days #can you tell im struggling to process???#but i had to get something out so here #its been honestly hard for me to rant about the ep just as it is bc i get 5 words in and start crying #so its a shock i could do all this through my tears #but yes my head is still a mess and i feel like an emotional fuse that has just burst #im not sure i could even find the right words to explain how im feeling #its a lot #and i just wanna kinda ride it out to the end now #i just wanna treasure being in this period still #no matter what it holds or how it makes me feel #i just really wanna treasure it #bc i know ill never be here again #and its so special #and i just wanna love it for every second i can #man jess stop crying in the tags #youre talking about ballet get a grip #ugh #made by jemmo

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miguel-manbemel · 4 years

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Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 33: Who Dares Enter the Library!?

Here comes a new episode of this fanfic inspired on Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders and Joan S. It is the first episode after “Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux”. I had this episode finished since last Wednesday. I didn’t want to release it yet as I wanted to get over with the Eurovision thing first. But in the meantime, the episode was released and [SPOILER ALERT, DONT READ FURTHER UNTIL YOU’VE WATCHED THE SANDERS SIDES EPISODE] we got Deceit’s name in it. Of course I wanted to include it in the fanfic as soon as possible, and it was fortunate that this episode features a scene where I could fit in the revelation more organically, and I added an extra scene featuring that revelation. As you know if you’ve followed the story for some time, it’s been ages since this fic got away from canon. It only follows the canon up to Embarrasing Phases, then later a little bit of Selfishness v. Selflessness part 1 was retconned in the story. But the rest is completely ignored in this story, if something canon had to be added, like Remus, it was added with an alternate fanon storyline totally different from canon. That means that Deceit’s name revelation won’t be a mimic of the canon, it just wouldn’t have fit in. I hope I could make justice to the revelation in this alternate universe. And with this said, let’s go with the episode, which I hope you enjoy. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Since Logan said goodbye to Patton, he hasn’t shown up in the Mind Palace. That was three weeks ago and Thomas has started showing signs of losing his capacity for logical thinking, and he’s also started losing pieces of knowledge that he had well learnt and secured in his mind. Deducing that Logan’s physical integrity may be compromised, Patton has to break his promise to Logan and tell them what happened, and they all will have to follow him through the front door in Logan’s room to wherever he’s gone, to check if he’s all right and rescue him if he needs to.

WARNING: There’s a slight horror scene featuring a chase by a monstrous creature. Lots of romantic logicality and dukeceit. There’s also a scene where one of the main characters is on the verge of death.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is in the kitchen, cooking something]

THOMAS: Okay… Oof… if only I remembered where was the recipe for these pancakes… I think for one person it was… eleven eggs, one cup of flour and eighty tablespoons of sugar?

[Thomas adds these measures into a bowl, then tries to mix it but the resulting syrup becomes impossible to work with]

THOMAS: I guess it wasn’t. And I was thinking on going on MasterChef to boost my popularity… Gordon Ramsey would bake me if he saw my cooking expertise right now…

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: And what’s weird is that I was going so great with my cooking learning, and I suddenly lost it. Maybe it’s stress or something, I don’t know… But what I know is that Patton would kill me if he saw this mess… [face of realization] Wait, maybe Patton can lend me a hand. He’s become a top chef with breakfast cooking. I hope he can help me, I’m gonna need it if I want a proper breakfast. Patton! Patton, could you come here, please?

PATTON: [rising up] Hi, Thomas. How may I… [noticing the mess in the kitchen] what… is going on here, kiddo? Did the blender go crazy or something? Or are you trying to blend in with the kitchen, somehow? Cause you’re covered in… whatever you were trying to make.

THOMAS: I know, sorry, I made a mess in the kitchen and I need your help.

PATTON: But Thomas, I thought you were becoming an expert on cooking, especially… pancakes? Is that what you were trying to make? But… kiddo, you already have plenty of experience with pancakes, you make them at least twice a week. You should already know this recipe by heart.

THOMAS: I know, Patton. After so many times making them, one would think that I would have learned how to make them. But for some reason, I can’t, Patton. I’ve just turn into a mess of a cook.

PATTON: Well, I can help you with the recipe if you want.

THOMAS: That’s exactly why I called you, Patton, any help is appreciated with these pancakes.

[Roman, Virgil and Chris rise up]

ROMAN: Did someone say pancakes?

THOMAS: Morning, guys.

VIRGIL: May we join in, Thomas? We haven’t had breakfast yet and I’m in the mood for a family gathering.

CHRIS: Me too. Besides, I never tried pancakes before.

THOMAS: Well, you’re in for a treat, then, Chris. I love them with any kind of topping, but the best is motor oil without a doubt.

[All the Sides look at Thomas with a face of disgust]

ROMAN: Thomas, are you okay? What you have just said doesn’t make any sense. Motor oil on pancakes? That’s disgusting!

CHRIS: Not to mention poisonous. It sounds as if Remus had suddenly possessed you… Yuk.

THOMAS: What? It totally makes sense to me. The most logical topping for pancakes is grease oil pancakes. Everybody knows that.

PATTON: Um… no, kiddo, you’re obviously wrong and that is not… [face of realization] logical… at all… [low voice] Oh no…

VIRGIL: Is there something wrong, dad?

THOMAS: Yes, Patton, what’s the matter?

PATTON: I… I had promised Logan that I wouldn’t tell you but…

VIRGIL: Speaking about Logan, where is he? I haven’t seen him in ages.

PATTON: Neither did I, son. Neither did I… For the past three weeks I haven’t seen him. And he made me promise I wouldn’t tell you, but… something’s wrong with him, I can feel it. I have to break my promise and I hope he’ll forgive me.

CHRIS: What is going on, granddad?

THOMAS: Yes, where is Logan?

PATTON: He wouldn’t tell me, Thomas. The last time I saw him, he was so concerned, so worried… He told me he had to go somewhere and he had no choice. He made me promise that I wouldn’t tell you and that I wouldn’t follow him, if you had heard how seriously he ordered me not to do that… Then… he gave me a kiss, a kiss that was full of angst and despair, as if he knew there was a chance that was gonna be his last chance to kiss me forever. Then he left through the front door of his room and locked the door behind him. I’ve been tempted to break my promise myself several times, but the door is locked, so I couldn’t open it without asking for your help, and I couldn’t tell you, so… I’ve been so worried ever since. Concern would have kept me awake every night. I only fall asleep because you do, Thomas. But despite sleeping every night, that hasn’t given me peace, cause I’ve been having horrible nightmares all these nights. Nightmares where Logan calls for my help and I don’t pay attention to him.

THOMAS: [a little angry] No wonder you’re having nightmares! You should have told me, Patton. Logan should have told me he was going away. Of course it’s so hard for me to follow recipes and perform logical judgments. My sense of logic is out of reach.

PATTON: That’s what scares me the most. He told me he was entering autopilot mode so that you wouldn’t have any problems in that regard. Something must have happened to him if not even autopilot can keep your logical functions intact.

ROMAN: Maybe we should go after him. Maybe he needs our help.

PATTON: [nervous with a face of full angst] But he was strict about that. He didn’t want us to go after him, no matter if he took a long time to come back. I really wish to do as you say, Roman, but what if, by doing so, we put Logan, or us, in danger? I… I don’t know what to do. God help me, I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore!

[Virgil hugs Patton]

VIRGIL: Worrying is my job, dad. Please calm down.

PATTON: I’m sorry, Virgil, it’s just that… he could be in danger because I waited too long to call for help, and on the other hand, I’m also betraying his trust because I told you and I’m willing to go after him when I promised him not to do so. Whatever I do, it makes me feel guilty, and it’s a horrible feeling.

VIRGIL: I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this all alone, dad. But you’re not alone anymore, so please, calm down. Breath like I taught you… remember, 4, 7, 8…

PATTON: Okay… thanks son.

ROMAN: Okay, while Patton does the breathing exercise, I think it’s time for an emergency meeting. We should call the others.

THOMAS: You’re right. Logan, Deceit, Remus, Honesty, could you come here please!?

[they all rise up, except Remus who pops up and of course Logan who doesn’t show up at all]

PATTON: [after breathing out for eight seconds and before breathing in for four seconds] Why did you call Logan? Obviously he’s not gonna answer.

THOMAS: I know, sorry, it’s the habit. I always call Logan in a meeting like this. It’s so weird having to tackle an emergency without him.

DECEIT: Where is Logan? What is going on here?

ROMAN: [motor mouth] In short, Logan is gone, we don’t know where he’s gone other than he’s gone through the front door in his room and he asked Patton not to tell us, forbidding him and us to follow him. But now Thomas is losing his sense of logic and now we think Logan could be in danger, so we’re pondering the possibility of following him to wherever he’s gone despite the fact that he seriously instructed Patton not to do so. [takes a deep breath] Is that clear?

DECEIT: Sort… sort of… I think… When did Logan go away?

PATTON: It was the very same night you two started dating.

REMUS: Three weeks ago, then? What could Nerdyman be doing out there for so long? I mean, I’ve had long wild parties in my life just like anybody else, but that’s the wildest party I’ve ever heard about!

HONESTY: Whatever it is, it is important or dangerous enough that he didn’t want us to mess about with it.

PATTON: I myself don’t care about the danger on myself. I just wanna go with him and check that he’s okay. But I don’ have the heart to ask you to follow me.

THOMAS: Of course we’re going with you, Patton. We all care about Logan too and certainly we’re not leaving you alone anymore.

CHRIS: Logan is my someday-to-be-grandfather-in-law. He’s my family just as much as you are, so you can count on my sword and shield to assist you, granddad.

ROMAN: Same on my part, Patton, my samurai sword is at your service.

VIRGIL: And I’m not leaving you either dad. We’re doing this together.

HONESTY: Logan risked his life in order to find a way to save mine. Of course I’m willing to return him the favor if he needs me.

DECEIT: He speaks for both of us, right Remus?

REMUS: [a little hesitant] Well… [after Deceit frowns at him] Of course, if it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Count on my Morningstar to assist you, Catboy.

PATTON: [a little emotional] Thank you so much, my wonderful kiddos. I love you all so much.

THOMAS: Of course. Now, enough talking. You said he left through the front door in his room, so let’s go to his room now…

PATTON: First, eat something, Thomas, you didn’t even make your breakfast and you can’t go anywhere with an empty stomach. [pulling them out] Here, I just made some cookies. I have cookies for everyone. It’s the only thing I’ve been doing for the past three weeks since it was the only way I could distract my mind.

THOMAS: [grabbing some cookies] Thank you so much, Patton. I’ll eat them on the way.

PATTON: Also, take these paper towels and clean yourself a bit. It’s impractical to go on a mission like that.

THOMAS: Thanks, dad… Now, if you’re ready… [waits, but Patton doesn’t interrupt him anymore] Okay, let’s go, guys.

[The gang sinks down, then they rise up in Logan’s room]

THOMAS: Well, here we are… wow, I’m starting to feel back to normal right now, all my knowledge of recipes has suddenly returned to my head. And I’m feeling so stupid right now over making such foolish mistakes with the pancakes…

HONESTY: Maybe it’s because now you’re physically closer to Logan and his influence reaches you better from his room.

THOMAS: Maybe… Okay, so, we need to go through the front door. [Thomas goes to the door and tries to open it, but it’s locked. He looks through the peephole] I can’t… I can’t see anything other than a weird indigo light, like some sort of bright fog… What the heck is out there?

PATTON: I don’t know, Thomas. None of us know what lies ahead of the others’ front doors, except Roman’s and Remus’ which is of course Sandersia.

THOMAS: So each of you have a different place outside of your front door? What do you guys have?

PATTON: I don’t think it’s the right moment to ask, Thomas. Let’s focus on Logan’s door for the time being.

THOMAS: Okay… Well, the door is locked, as you said, Patton. How do we open it?

PATTON: We cannot, Thomas. You, as the Mind Palace’s owner, are the only one who can summon a key that can unlock this door.

THOMAS: But I usually can’t summon things. That’s a thing usually only you, the Sides, can do.

PATTON: This thing in particular, you certainly can. Just imagine it in your hand and wish for it to be there with faith and conviction, and the key will come to you.

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll try…

[Thomas rises his palm, then grimaces as he looks at it, as if he was struggling, his face even goes red. In a matter of seconds, a small key appears on his hand]

THOMAS: [happy] It worked! I did it!

REMUS: Yes, you did it, but… next time, Thomas, there’s no need for you to put a face as if you were constipated on the toilet. I enjoyed the view, though, it was funny.

THOMAS: [frowning at Remus] Thanks, Remus, I’ll remember next time… Okay, time to open the door. I hope this key really works.

[Thomas inserts the key in the keyhole, then turns it and the door unlocks perfectly]

THOMAS: Yep, it worked. Let’s go, then…

[Thomas opens the door. Outside, he can only see the same indigo bright fog, although he sees a point of light in a distance]

THOMAS: That looks like a lighthouse of some kind in the middle of this fog… Okay, guys, that light seems important, so we’ll go straight there. It’s impossible to see in this fog, so don’t spread out, I don’t want anyone getting lost, got it?

PATTON: Got it, Thomas… But how will we get back?

THOMAS: We’ll leave the door wide open, so that the light inside can help us find it on the way back, although I hope we have Logan to guide us back when that moment comes.

[Thomas and the Sides get through the door. Then they all walk in a line towards the light. As they get closer, they realize the light comes from a huge dark building, tall and wide beyond view]

THOMAS: What… what is this place? It’s huge, I can’t see where it ends. Look, the light is just over a door… and there’s a sign on it. It reads… “Library”. Library? This is a library? What kind of library, and why didn’t Logan ever mention it?

[Thomas tries to open the door. It opens easily, and they’re greeted with a view of huge, endless shelves full of books in all directions. Thomas and the Sides enter the building]

THOMAS: So… so many books, but what’s in them?

[A huge tempest-tongue-like voice with a robotic touch, like the autotune or Cher effect, is heard]

VOICE: WHO DARES ENTER THE LIBRARY!?

THOMAS: Who… who’s there?

VOICE: I’m the Librarian and you are trespassing! This place is forbidden to you, so begone right now!

ROMAN: Forbidden? There are no forbidden places for Thomas. He’s the owner of the whole Mind Palace, whoever you are!

LIBRARIAN: FOOLS! Thomas especially shouldn’t be here! This place is dangerous for him, much more for all the rest of you! Begone, now!

THOMAS: I refuse to leave until you show yourself! Let us see you!

[A dark figure appears walking on top of one of the selves. At first they don’t recognize him, then Patton’s face lightens up]

PATTON: Logan! Is that you, Logan!? Thank God you’re fine, I was so worried!

[but Logan doesn’t answer. Soon Patton’s happiness turns into horror when they can see his face clearly. His eyes are two bright burning lights of an indigo color, and his skin is pail and gray. It’s like he’s become a mixture of his human form and his robot-puppet form]

THOMAS: Logan, what happened to you?

LIBRARIAN: I told you I’m the Librarian. I’m the owner of this place and this is my sanctuary of knowledge. Do not touch any of the books for all the knowledge of whatever has happened in your life, as well as your plans for the future, is written in these pages, and if you damage just one single book, you could be destroying invaluable knowledge from your own mind, with disastrous consequences. So, once again, begone.

THOMAS: If you’re not Logan, then where is he?

LIBRARIAN: Logan is part of me, he always was, and forever will be.

PATTON: What do you mean? Where is he?

LIBRARIAN: Logan and I are two faces of the same coin. We’ve always existed together. He always calls me when he needs some kind of knowledge or fact in your mundane conversations and I provide it from inside of him. Who do you think that gave him the power to inspect your memories by touching you? It was me. I’ve been watching him, witnessing how he’s been degrading himself little by little, seeing how much your emotional mess of a world has corrupted him. Now, he even thinks he’s in love. So disgusting. But I’ll take care of cleaning him up from these useless distracting thoughts. Under my control, he’ll turn back into what he always should have been, the clean emotionless logical aspect of Thomas, the only way he can be useful to anyone.

PATTON: Don’t you dare!

THOMAS: Who gave you the right to decide in someone else’s place what is good or bad for them?

LIBRARIAN: I know Logan better than anyone else. I know what’s best for him and I’ll make him do it even in spite of him if I must.

THOMAS: Seems you don’t know him so well if you want to push him back into his old life of denying his emotions. I won’t let you do this. The brain must always be connected with feelings.

LIBRARIAN: What an abhorrent aberration! Brains and feelings must never mix up. It’s disgusting and I won’t let it happen!

PATTON: Why don’t you let Logan speak for himself!? We want to speak to the real Logan, right now!

LIBRARIAN: Well, I guess I can let you say your last words to him… Be quick, though, every second I’m in touch with these feelings makes me sick.

[the lights in Logan’s eyes disappear and Logan looks at the others]

LOGAN: Patton, guys, what are you doing here? I told you not to follow me! I didn’t want you to see me like this!

PATTON: I know, Logan, but I had to, Thomas was getting affected by your absence, cause your autopilot is switching off. Please don’t be mad at me.

LOGAN: It’s okay, I understand, and I’m not mad at you, but this is too dangerous for you! I didn’t want you to go through this! This is a fight I should have done on my own!

THOMAS: If you knew this could happen, why did you come here in the first place?

LOGAN: I had no choice, I have to come here at least once a year to upload my new knowledge into the library, or else I would get overloaded and incapable of getting new content for you, and also your logical functions would be compromised if my memory bank got overflown. But I knew that here the Librarian that’s always been inside of me would be heightened to a point where he could take control of my whole self, and I always knew he wasn’t happy I started a relationship with Patton. I could feel him rebelling against it inside of me, and I knew he’d take his chance when I had to come here. I tried to fight him, but here, he’s too strong. I may be losing the fight… but he’s not in full control yet, though. I’m still fighting him. Although since you’re here, I could use some help from you, guys.

THOMAS: How can we help you?

LOGAN: You must… [his eyes start glowing faintly and Logan starts struggling to speak] …you must find the indigo book… it’s the only book in this library… that can help me right now…

THOMAS: The indigo book? But this place is huge, how can we find it among all these millions of books?

LOGAN: [still struggling, as the lights flicker in his eyes] Find… the catalog in the center of the Library… it will tell you… where the indigo book lies… you’ll find everything you need to know in its pages… Hurry up, please… I don’t know how long I can resist… Help… me… Patton… I… lov…

[the lights start glowing as bright as before and he stops struggling]

LIBRARIAN: Why do you insist on making this more difficult for yourself and your friends? I’m doing this for your own good, Logan! Stop fighting me! [to Thomas and the others] And you, don’t you dare listening to his words. I won’t let you get to the catalog! I’ll stop you by force if I have to!

THOMAS: It will not be so easy for you. [whistles as if calling a pet dog] Remus?

REMUS: [excited smile, would have wiggled his tail if he had one] Yes, Thomas?

THOMAS: Do you wanna have fun?

REMUS: [hopping] I’m always ready for fun!

THOMAS: [as if he was telling a dog to fetch a toy] Then go get him! But don’t overdo it. Remember that it’s still Logan’s body, don’t cause him any permanent damages.

REMUS: [pulls out his Morningstar and jumps off-screen towards the Librarian] Yeeeha!

THOMAS: Good boy! The rest of you, come with me. We need to get to the center of the Library and check the catalog while Remus distracts him. Let’s go!

DECEIT: Be careful, Rem!

REMUS: [off-screen singsongy voice, the sound of the Morningstar is heard bumping on something several times] Okay, sweetheart!

[Thomas and the Sides run away into the Library, going through the corridor past shelves and shelves]

ROMAN: This is so huge. How far is the center anyway?

PATTON: I’m not used to run for so long… I can barely breath.

VIRGIL: Keep going, dad… We don’t know for how long Remus will be able to keep the Librarian distracted. Maybe he’s started chasing us already.

THOMAS: If the center was too far away, Logan wouldn’t have sent us into this mission. He knows it’s possible, so we must keep going, guys.

DECEIT: It’s easier said than done, though…

[a voice is heard around the whole building]

LIBRARIAN: I command you to come back immediately! Or else I’ll make you pay for this, like your stupid green guy has just paid!

DECEIT: What? What has he done to Remus!?

HONESTY: You don’t wanna know, Dee! Keep running or you’ll go through the same fate, whatever it is! We’ll think about that later! He’s obviously chasing us right now, and who knows how fast he runs!

THOMAS: Look, guys! There’s a round room over there! Maybe that’s the center!

[Thomas and the Sides reach to that room. It has a round shape and many corridors like the one they came from end there. In the center, there’s a table with a huge folder. Thomas approaches the folder, trying to recover breath after the long run. The other Sides stand on the entrance of the corridor they came from]

THOMAS: This must be the catalog Logan talked about… Now what?

PATTON: Open that folder and look inside.

[Thomas opens the folder and reads the first page]

THOMAS: It’s an alphabetical index with the topics that are inside these books, with coordinates to find them.

PATTON: Then search for the indigo book Logan mentioned.

ROMAN: [pulling out his samurai sword] We’ll cover you up while you’re searching, Thomas. Hurry!

CHRIS: [pulling out his sword] I was waiting for the day where I would fight alongside you, father.

ROMAN: So did I, son, it will be an honor to share this battle with you.

[Thomas turns to letter I for indigo. Thomas keeps browsing through the different topics starting with letter I until he reaches the key word]

THOMAS: Here it is… but there are still several topics containing the word indigo… let’s see…

ROMAN: There he comes… [horrified, looking at what approaches them, which is not featured on screen] my goodness gracious… what’s that thing!?

CHRIS: It looks like a horrible creature… like one of those Eldritch abominations that appear in horror stories… Is that monster the Librarian!?

ROMAN: Whoever or whatever that is… we must buy Thomas some time… Let’s go get him!

CHRIS: I’m right with you, father!

[Roman and Chris charge towards the creature, sounds of fighting are heard off-screen]

THOMAS: Indigo book! There it is! Patton, grab some of that paper and that pencil to write the coordinates. Ready? Corridor R… Side C… Block P… Shelf F… Book R… Page M… Page? Why marking a specific page from a book in a catalog? Oh, whatever… Did you write it down, Patton?

PATTON: Yes, Thomas, everything.

[Thomas and Patton look around the room]

THOMAS: You see? Each corridor has a plate with a letter identifying it, and each side of the corridor has another letter identifying it… Here, this is corridor R. The left side has a C and the right side has a B, so it has to be on the left side of this corridor. Let’s go, Patton, before it’s too late.

VIRGIL: I’m going with you too, just in case you need protection. [to the other Sides] Guys, hold on as much as you can.

HONESTY: We’ll try, Virge. Now go.

[Thomas, Patton and Virgil enter corridor R, looking at the left side of the shelves. Every few shelves there’s a letter, starting with B, only omitting vowels]

PATTON: These must be the blocks. We must get to block P, so let’s get moving. If there are no vowels, it is the twelfth block.

[Thomas, Patton and Virgil run through the different blocks. After some running, they get to the block with the letter P]

THOMAS: Okay, the indigo book must be around here. My, there are so many books in this block…

PATTON: It’s good we got all the letters from the catalog to find it faster. It was shelf F. The lowest shelf is B, so it’s the fourth shelf starting from the bottom. And it’s the R book. Each book has a label on the spine with a letter on it. Again, no vowels. B… C… D… F… G…

[Honesty reaches them running]

HONESTY: Guys, you better hurry! Deceit asked me to go warn you when Roman and Chris started getting exhausted. The creature is too strong and they’re running out of strength to fight.

THOMAS: We almost have it, Hon…

[A huge yell is heard from the distance, then they hear ferocious beastly growling sounds approaching them]

HONESTY: That was Dee! The creature must have defeated them! And now it is heading this way! Hurry up!

PATTON: P… Q… Here it is, R!

[Patton picks up the book from the shelf and gives it to Thomas. At that precise point, the growling suddenly stops and there is a tense silence]

HONESTY: Where… where did that thing go? He was almost here!

VIRGIL: This silence is even worse than the beastly sounds…

THOMAS: Maybe it’s because I got the book and he’s afraid to damage something important for him if he attacks us upfront. Look, there are several bookmarks in the book, each with different letters. Again, no vowels… What is it with this place and vowels? What letter was it, Patton?

PATTON: It was M.

LIBRARIAN: [from the top of the shelf they got the book from] Stop right where you are! Don’t open that book! You’re gonna doom us all!

THOMAS: I hope you don’t expect us to believe you, Librarian. I bet the only one to be doomed by the book is you!

VIRGIL: You, monster! What have you done with our friends!?

LIBRARIAN: I didn’t kill them if that’s what you’re thinking! I just rendered them unconscious and expelled them out of the Library back into Logan’s room!

VIRGIL: Yeah, right, and you needed to turn into a beast just to do that!

LIBRARIAN: I was just trying to scare you out of here, I don’t want you to mess everything up!

THOMAS: Here it is. Bookmark M.

[Thomas opens the book]

LIBRARIAN: [distressed] I said don’t do that!

THOMAS: Or else, what? You’ll turn into a beast again and “scare” us all? Go ahead and try, if you don’t care about ruining any of the books, that is.

LIBRARIAN: Fine… suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

[Thomas reads the page. Then, he shows a face of shock]

LIBRARIAN: I warned you.

PATTON: What’s the matter, Thomas? What’s in that page?

THOMAS: Patton… we can’t do this… it’s too dangerous.

PATTON: [snatching the book from Thomas’ hands] Let me see this! [Patton reads aloud] Should the Logical Side lose control of the Librarian, the only way he can regain control back is for the Light Master to force him into total inhibition until all signs of life are gone from him, then bringing him back to life. It acts as a reset action that would restore him back to normal. During inhibition, if the Logical Side didn’t put himself in autopilot mode beforehand, Thomas could lose his logical thinking capacities and become completely demented until inhibition is reverted. Autopilot prevents this from happening. Fair warning though that if not performed correctly or inside the window time of five minutes after total inhibition, the Logical Side would perish permanently. Should that happen, a brand new Logical Side, completely unrelated to the old one, would immediately be generated from the Mind Palace Core to assume Thomas’ logical functions. [Patton looks at Thomas with a face of horror] This… is so dangerous… Logan could literally die.

THOMAS: And I don’t know how to do this. Logan was the one who advised me on how to use my Light Master powers and I can’t count on him to help me. Without him, I’m lost. And I don’t have the heart to put him in danger.

LIBRARIAN: Give it up. If you try to do this, you’ll kill Logan. Let me take care of him. I assure you I will treat him right in this Library. He won’t even miss you when you’re gone and he’ll be fine, as long as I tell him what is fine for him.

PATTON: Falsehood! [Thomas and the Sides look at Patton in shock after hearing Logan’s trademark word on Patton’s lips] With you controlling him, he would be nothing but your slave! If you really cared about Logan, you would let him live his life the way he wants, with me, with all of us! Because we’re the ones who would really treat him right, just by letting him be himself. You just want to mold him to your own idea of what Logan should be, no matter how shoehorned that idea may be. It’s that fake Logan you care about, not the real one. You’re just jealous of his happiness because you can’t understand feelings at all! You’ll never be able to understand love or hate, happiness or sadness, and because of that, you will always be inferior to Logan! No matter how powerful you think you are, without emotions, you are nothing! Thomas, we must do this.

THOMAS: Patton, are you sure? We could kill him! It’s too big of a risk!

PATTON: While he’s the slave of that thing, he’s as good as dead anyway, eternally suffering after his yoke. This creature is even worse than the Dark Master himself. At least the Dark Master had a basic understanding of feelings, even if he used it for evil. I will not have Logan going through that hell. We must set him free, one way… or another, however painful it may be.

THOMAS: But I don’t know if I can do this.

PATTON: Thomas, I have faith in you. You have already learned enough of your Light Master powers to do a great deal of things and you’ve become really powerful. Maybe you don’t believe in yourself in that regard, but I do believe in you. Just enter Light Master mode and you’ll know what to do. I’m rooting for you, kiddo.

[Patton gives a father-like kiss on the forehead to Thomas and the brightest comforting smile he can come up with given the circumstances. Thomas gives a slightly emotional smile to Patton]

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll do everything I can. It’s good that Logan had entered autopilot mode beforehand. At least he had the vision to do that.

PATTON: Or maybe his intuition told him this could happen and he wanted to be ready. Which is a proof that even Logan has faith in you. He knew that you have what it takes to save him. If you don’t want to trust me, trust him.

THOMAS: [sighs and closes his eyes] Okay… [opens his eyes, they’re now blue] Then let’s do this.

LIBRARIAN: No, I demand you to…

THOMAS: Be quiet, Librarian! I’m the one who demands you to release Logan, right now! This is your only warning, leave him in peace or be ready for the consequences!

LIBRARIAN: Never! He’s mine now! You don’t have what it takes! I’m not afraid of you and I’ll never set Logan free!

THOMAS: You asked for this, then. I said, get out of him, now!

[Thomas points at the Librarian and it’s as if an invisible hand pulls from him and throws him down from the top of the shelf, falling on the ground]

THOMAS: Get out of Logan’s body, right now!

[the Librarian’s body starts shaking violently]

PATTON: The power of Patton compels you!

[everyone looks at Patton]

PATTON: Sorry, I got carried away…

[Thomas keeps pointing at the Librarian. His violent convulsions slowly start getting weaker]

LIBRARIAN: Stop! I’m getting weak… I’m losing myself… I don’t wanna go… Please… I beg… [singing weakly, his voice slowly gets weaker and weaker] Daisy… Daisy… Give me your answer do… I'm half crazy… All for the love of…

[the singing and the convulsions stop, then, the bright eyes slowly turn off and Logan’s skin loses it’s gray silvery tone, to be replaced by white pail. Logan looks weakly to Thomas with a peaceful expression, he mouths a “thank you” without strength to emit any sound, then he gets still with that same expression of peace looking at Thomas, as if he had just died]

PATTON: Logan!

[Patton jumps to Logan’s body]

PATTON: He’s cold as marble stone! I think he’s dead! Now, you have to revive him, quickly! Five minutes starting now!

[Thomas starts struggling. For the next two minutes, nothing happens]

VIRGIL: Oh, God, I hope he can do it…

PATTON: He can do it! Come on, Thomas! Logan, if you can hear me somehow, fight to come back! Please, don’t leave me!

[Thomas still struggles. Then, a white spark comes from his hand and lands on Logan’s chest. He has a violent convulsion. His skin recovers some color for a second, then reverts back to pail]

PATTON: Something happened there. You can do this, Thomas. How long do we have left?

HONESTY: [looking at his phone] Less than two minutes.

[Thomas struggles even harder. A spark bigger than the previous one jumps from his hand and hits Logan. He has another violent convulsion. He breaths for a second, but then stops breathing again]

PATTON: Let me help you, Thomas. Perhaps the energy of two can be strong enough to bring him back.

[Patton kisses Logan’s forehead, then approaches Thomas, touches his shoulder and concentrates. A light blue aura surrounds both of them. Thomas emits another spark, this one of a light blue color and dramatically stronger than the previous ones which impacts on Logan. This time, he starts having continuous convulsions, as if he was being electrified]

PATTON: Come on, Logan. Fight for me… Don’t leave me alone…

[the convulsions keep going for two minutes, then he stops shaking. There are no visible signs of life from him]

PATTON: Lo… Logan?

HONESTY: The time is up. The five minutes are gone.

[Patton looks at Logan with a face of horror and tears start falling down his cheeks]

PATTON: This can’t be! Logan!

[Patton runs to Logan and holds to him, crying]

THOMAS: [Also crying, his eyes have turned back to brown] I’m sorry, Patton. I swear that I tried my best…

[then suddenly, Logan starts coughing and struggling to breath, and Patton quickly retreats. The coughing stops and Logan opens his eyes weakly, then notices Patton next to him. Patton is too stunned to react]

LOGAN: [weak voice] I was… I was being dragged into the Mind Palace’s Core light… when an angel approached me… an angel with a blue polo shirt, a gray cat hoodie around his shoulders and a bright heart that shone into his chest, so full of love it was overwhelmingly heartwarming, it could compete with the Core itself in brightness… He told me he still needed me and grabbed me back…

[Patton starts laughing and crying like a baby at the same time, not able to say anything coherent, then hugs Logan, who weakly hugs him back]

VIRGIL: [crying emotional, his tears are black due to the eyeshadow] Thank goodness… Thank goodness…

LOGAN: [his voice is a little stronger, but still weak] Thank you, Thomas. I owe you my life… I knew if I lost control, only you could save me.

THOMAS: It was my pleasure, but I didn’t do all the work. I couldn’t have done this without Patton’s help. He’s the one who has really saved you.

LOGAN: I love you so much, Patton… When I was subjugated, the thing I feared most was for that love to get corrupted and lost… it was the only thing I didn’t want to lose, your love and the capacity to love. I didn’t want to turn back to what I was before… not ever…

[Logan tries to get up, but he finds it hard]

THOMAS: Hey, relax, buddy. Are you sure you can get up? You have just returned from death. Maybe you should rest for a while.

LOGAN: I don’t want to get up, I…

[with some difficulty, Logan first sits down, then puts himself on his knees and grabs Patton’s hands]

LOGAN: Patton, you are the man of my life. I don’t want to live my life with anyone else but you.

PATTON: Goodness…

LOGAN: I’m sorry I didn’t have time to get an aurum ring with a piece of a pure carbon crystal on it, but I hope my feelings for you are equally valuable for this proposal. Will you marry me?

[Patton smiles widely, a smile that could compete with the sun in brightness]

PATTON: Of course I will, Logan. Of course I will!

[Patton kisses Logan, then they both hug. Logan seems to lose stability due to the effort so he holds on Patton]

LOGAN: I’m so happy now. I’m sad I’m not strong enough to show you right now, but I am…

PATTON: Don’t worry, my heart can show happiness enough for two. Now, rest. Here, lie on my shoulder.

[Logan lies on Patton’s shoulder while Patton pets his hand sweetly]

HONESTY: [to Thomas, whispering] Hey, you, the chemical engineer… What did Logan say he wanted his ring to be made of?

THOMAS: [emotional] A ring made of gold with a diamond on it, of course… I’m so happy for you two…

VIRGIL: Okay, guys. It will be best if we get out of here now.

LOGAN: You don’t need to worry anymore, Virgil. The Librarian as you knew him no longer exists, he’s been, sort of… formatted, and now I’m the one controlling him. He won’t be a cause for trouble anymore and this place is safe again.

VIRGIL: Glad to hear that… but still, we should go back to your room right now. I wanna check that the others are fine.

[Virgil summons a wheelchair]

VIRGIL: Here, obviously I wouldn’t make you walk all the way there in your condition, sit on that and dad can carry you.

LOGAN: Sounds good. And don’t worry too much, Virge. I saw everything the Librarian did and he didn’t kill the Sides. At least in that regard, he was true. But you’re right, we should check they’re in good shape, so let’s go.

[Patton and Virgil help Logan stand up and sit on the chair]

PATTON: Are you comfy here, my love?

LOGAN: If you’re by my side, I’ll be comfy anywhere.

PATTON: I didn’t know you could be so romantic.

LOGAN: Now I have no hindrance to express my feelings. But don’t get too accustomed to it. At work, I’ll still be wearing my necktie of seriousness, cause Thomas will need me to be serious.

PATTON: That’s fair. I’ll get to enjoy the sweet version of you all by myself.

VIRGIL: Are we ready to go?

THOMAS: Just a second, guys, let me replace the indigo book where it was.

[Thomas puts the book on the shelf. He notices a piece of paper that has fallen on the floor]

THOMAS: What’s this?

LOGAN: Thomas, don’t read that. It is a piece of knowledge that could get damaged if you manipulate it. Just put it back on its shelf.

THOMAS: I don’t think it could do any harm, it’s just a little note…

[Thomas reads the note]

THOMAS: Oh… wow…

VIRGIL: What is it?

THOMAS: It is a note that apparently belongs to the indigo book. It must have fallen when we got the book in a hurry. It’s an appendix related to the process we’ve just followed and some secondary effects related to Logan.

LOGAN: [sighs] I didn’t want you to read that cause I didn’t want you to worry about me. But I said that knowledge can’t hurt you and I’ll stand by it. Tell the others.

THOMAS: It says that, should the process be performed, the Librarian’s reset will mean that the Logical Side will lose his capacity of examining other Sides’ memories or transmitting his own memories to other Sides through touch.

LOGAN: Yes, I lost my capacity of examining you. But… it’s okay. It was a price I was willing to pay. A small price, indeed, for my freedom to love.

THOMAS: It also says that, in time, these abilities would progressively return to the Logical Side, but it’s unknown how long it would take for him to get to same level he had prior to the reset, it could range from days to years. Also, intuition may be temporally compromised to a degree, although this effect is expected wear off faster. All the rest of his cognitive functions will remain intact. I’m sorry, Logan.

LOGAN: It’s okay, Thomas. Don’t worry. At least it seems it won’t be permanent. And besides, if I couldn’t count on my hands anymore to help, I’ll use what I’ve always used best, my brains. We’ll be fine.

THOMAS: Okay. I hope so.

LOGAN: Now, let’s go home. We have a wedding to start preparing, right?

PATTON: Right. And this time, there will be no Dark Masters to spoil it.

VIRGIL: I hope so.

[Thomas puts the note inside the indigo book, then they all head back to the front door through a shorter path, guided by Logan. When they reach the door, they realize that the door has changed and now looks like Thomas’ front door. After opening, they discover it does indeed lead straight into Logan’s room, and the fog they had to cross earlier is gone. In Logan’s room, they find Roman, Chris, Deceit and Remus lying down on the couch, unconscious]

VIRGIL: Guys! Are you okay?

[Virgil runs to attend his husband and son. Roman is the first to wake up, but he pretends to stay asleep, putting his lips on kiss position, like waiting for Virgil to kiss him and wake him up]

VIRGIL: [sighs with a smile of relief] You, royal dork. [kisses him] Okay, done, I gave you a true love’s kiss to wake you up, sleeping handsome. Happy?

ROMAN: Your kisses will always make me happy, my love… [he rises up and shows an expression of pain] Ow, my head.

VIRGIL: Are you okay?

ROMAN: Everything hurts… but I’ll survive. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.

VIRGIL: You’ve done more than enough, Roman. Look who’s here with us thanks to your bravery.

ROMAN: Oh, Logan… Are you okay?

LOGAN: I’m okay. Thanks to you all, guys. I’m sorry I made you go through this.

ROMAN: It’s okay, that’s what fam’s for, right?

[slowly, the rest of the Sides wake up too]

REMUS: That guy took me by surprise… he suddenly turned into this beast and without fair warning he hit me and… I don’t remember anything else. If I had known, I would have released my tentacles to match theirs.

DECEIT: That creature was not terrifying at all…

LOGAN: It won’t cause any more trouble, thankfully. Now, since you were out when it happened, I want to announce to you all the news.

CHRIS: What news?

LOGAN: I have asked Patton to marry me, and he said yes.

CHRIS: [his face lightens up] Really!? I’m so happy! At last I’m gonna be able to call you grandfather for real!

LOGAN: And I’ll be proud to have you as grandson, boy.

REMUS: Um… Can I say something?

THOMAS: Wow, it’s the first time you ask for permission to say something, are you sure you didn’t get badly hurt by that beast? Okay, I was kidding, go ahead.

REMUS: I know that this is your moment and all that jazz, Logan, but, you’re planning a wedding and I thought that… it would be a shame to waste a ceremony just on one couple, when you can use it to join two couples, right?

DECEIT: Remus? What are you trying to say?

REMUS: I was thinking that… it would be great if we could kill to birds with one stone…

THOMAS: Of course Remus would be the first Side to use that saying…

REMUS: …and you married me the same day Logan and Patton married, in the same ceremony, a double wedding. If you accept me, of course, and if Logan and Patton don’t disagree.

DECEIT: But we’ve been dating only for three weeks. You didn’t even ask me to marry you, Remus, and you’re planning our wedding already?

REMUS: Well, it was just an idea that flashed through my head, and you know that I always say what goes through my head like that, especially when I really want to say it. So… what do you say, Dee? Will you marry me?

DECEIT: I… I don’t know… I mean, to be honest, we barely know each other. You don’t even know my name and…

REMUS: Well, that has an easy remedy. My name is Remus Sanders. What is your name?

DECEIT: [nervous smile] Wow… It’s been ages since I last shared my name… You remember well, right Virge?

VIRGIL: How could I forget? You opened yourself to me and trusted me your name. I wish I could have been able to correspond that act of trust.

DECEIT: But you have. You’ve kept the secret all these years and I thank you for that.

IRGIL: I did not even used it when we were both alone. It felt to me like profaning something sacred, you know?

DECEIT: Well, it’s not like you couldn’t have used my name in private with me. I’m no deity for my name to be revered as such. After all, that’s what I revealed it to you for.

VIRGIL: Okay, but still, your name inspired me such sensation, like I could break something if I spoke it aloud. Back then, I didn’t understand myself why… Now I think I do. You trusted me your feelings with that name and I didn’t want to break that trust in any way. I wish I would have understood earlier these feelings behind that revelation, Dee. Maybe things could have been different between us.

DECEIT: It’s not your fault, and besides, [looking at Remus] that’s probably how it was meant to be, after all. [sighs] Still, though, back then you were my only friend in the Dark Realm, the only one with whom I felt comfortable enough to share that secret. But when you were so oblivious about my feelings for you, in a way, I felt heartbroken, and I decided to hide my name ever since, because it reminded me of that moment. And that’s silly because you can’t run away from feelings just by avoiding using your own name, that’s stupid… Eventually, I had to face these feelings anyway, with our without my name in the equation.

VIRGIL: I’m so sorry I made you feel that way…

DECEIT: And now that Remus has asked me that question… I suddenly realized that I really wanted to answer it. In fact, I suddenly realized that I don’t have any reason to hide my name anymore. If there was a time where I felt belittled and useless and thought that I had to put a shield around myself to act all tough, hiding my true self from the others… that time has been gone for a long time now. I’m among friends now and I really want to break whatever is left from that shield and be myself. So, I’m gonna share my name with all of you, guys.

[everyone looks at Deceit in expectation. Deceit sighs, then takes a deep breath and speaks]

DECEIT: My name is Janus.

[there’s a silence in the room. Then they all smile at him]

THOMAS: It’s an honor to meet you… Janus.

JANUS: Wow, it feels so weird… it’s both a sensation of relief and ickiness… I don’t know if I’ll be able to get used to you calling me by my real name.

VIRGIL: Yeah, I know the feeling…

THOMAS: We’ll call you however you want. Your name is Janus, but you will always be our Dee in our hearts. I like your name, by the way.

JANUS: [smiles emotional] Thank you, Thomas.

HONESTY: If I may speak…

JANUS: Oh, are you going to…?

HONESTY: Yes. I’ve always known your name too, Janus, at least since we got unlocked from each other. Not surprising bearing in mind we share the same memories and for a long time the same body. I never revealed your name cause I knew how much it meant to you, and in solidarity with you, I also avoided revealing mine. It’s curious that even when we didn’t know about each other, I still didn’t want to reveal my name. Maybe back then you had an influence on me of some kind, who knows. The point is, that now that you’ve shared your name, I also want to share mine.

ROMAN: Oooh, what a day of revelations…

THOMAS: Roman, sush! Go ahead, Hon.

HONESTY: [with a posh British accent] Well, ladies and gentlemen…

ROMAN: What ladies…?

HONESTY: It is an honor to announce to all my beloved family members that my name…

[again, everyone looks at Honesty in expectation]

HONESTY: My name is Ian.

[everyone looks at Ian]

VIRGIL: I like that name.

THOMAS: Nice to meet you too, Ian.

IAN: Thanks, guys.

LOGAN: Oh, I think I understand the logic behind your names…

THOMAS: What?

LOGAN: Ian and Janus have been sharing the same body for a long time. They’ve been a Side with two faces. There is a deity in the Roman pantheon whose name is Janus, a two faced god that took charge of beginnings and endings, transitions and passages, and presided war and peace. That explains a lot of Janus’ name. And Ian… could very well be based on Ianos, the Greek version of the Latin Janus. It makes sense that, being the same Side in origin, they also share the same name origin, even if it came out in a different form for each.

IAN: Hadn’t thought about that. I only thought it looked cool to have a name so associated to British culture. Ian Flemming, creator of James Bond; Ian Chesterton, one of the Doctor’s first companions in Doctor Who; Ian McKellen, one of the best British actors and worldwide actors in general ever…

JANUS: Yes, it’s a cool name. I’m glad that we both share a name in a way, brother.

IAN: I’m glad too.

REMUS: Well, now that the introductions are over… Janus, I’m still waiting for an answer.

JANUS: [beat] Well, I told you that I don’t like weddings, remember?

REMUS: But you were lying… [voice of concern] right?

[Janus chuckles]

JANUS: Of course I was lying, you fool. I’ll be happy to marry you. What do I have to lose, anyway?

REMUS: Wheee! [Remus grabs Janus and spins around with him in his arms, they both laugh. Then Remus kisses Janus] I knew proposing was a good idea!

PATTON: As for marrying together… it’s okay by me, if Logan is not against it.

LOGAN: No, I’m not against it. It’s a family gathering after all, and you were right. It will be good to save resources and perform a single ceremony to wed two couples at once. So I’m okay with it too. It will make it even more special for us.

JANUS: Thank you guys.

ROMAN: I’m happy for all of you. And look at this, I’m gaining two new family members. Logan becomes my father-in-law and Deceit… I mean, Janus, becomes my brother-in-law. How much happy can a prince get?

[they all start congratulating the couples, while Thomas looks at the camera]

THOMAS: Well, all’s well that ends well. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[ending card]

[days have passed. Roman is in the royal castle of Sandersia, talking to his brother Roland]

ROMAN: …and this is all that happened.

ROLAND: Wow, Roman. You get adventures even without looking for them. I hope Logan is okay.

ROMAN: I would say that it’s the adventures who get us, but yes, you’re right, and Logan is much better now after these few days of rest… So, I was thinking if we could use the royal castle to perform the weddings.

ROLAND: [nervous] Oh, well… I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Of course, you’re the royal prince and your word would be my command but, still, I don’t think it’s a good idea.

ROMAN: Why? When I married we used the royal castle and, except for the Dark Master crashing the wedding, everything went just fine.

ROLAND: That’s different, you are the Royal Prince of Sandersia, therefore your wedding was a royal wedding. It was more than appropriate to perform it in the royal castle. But your friends are not royalty per se. It would be against protocol.

ROMAN: Well, Remus is my brother, and a duke, that’s nobility at least, and Patton is my husband’s father, he could be considered consort royalty too.

ROLAND: As I said, your word is my command and I’m just a regent prince… I’ll obey your instructions now and always.

ROMAN: Something makes you uncomfortable and I think it’s not protocol related. What’s wrong? Forget that I’m the Royal Prince of Sandersia and all that pompous stuff and speak to me, from brother to brother. Give me your real opinion and what you really want.

ROLAND: Well…

ROMAN: Come on, I’m your brother. You can trust me anything that bothers you and your honest opinion is important to me.

ROLAND: Okay… I’ll be honest with you, and I’m sorry. I have no problem to perform Patton and Logan’s wedding here… but I despise the idea of performing Remus’ wedding in this castle. I don’t wanna do that if I have a choice.

ROMAN: Oh… I should have known it was related to that.

ROLAND: I still don’t understand how you could have let him get so integrated in your group. Have you all forgotten that he tried to kill me? Does nobody care about my safety or about how I feel now?

ROMAN: I really understand your concern, and of course we care about you. You’re my brother, for Ethel Merman’s sake, how could I not care about you? But Remus is not the same as he used to be back when he did that. I’m sure he regrets having done all of that, and he doesn’t have any ill will against you anymore. I really wish you would give him a chance.

ROLAND: I don’t trust him. And being so unpredictable, Janus – was that Deceit’s name, you said? - shouldn’t trust him either. Who can tell that he won’t have another face-heel turn at any moment? He could turn against you at the slightest chance. He’s just like that, and I fear about your safety, just as much as I scared to death about mine. He scares me and I can’t help feeling that way, and if you had gone through what I went through, you would be too.

ROMAN: You’re saying this because you haven’t witnessed everything we’ve gone through with him. I’m telling you he’s really changed. If only you would give him a chance to prove it to you. Please, he’s my brother, Roland, just as much as you are. Couldn’t you do this… for me?

ROLAND: Wait, no, don’t look at me with the puppy face…

[Roman starts whining like a puppy with an over the top pouty face. Roland can’t help chuckling a bit]

ROLAND: That was a cheap shot.

ROMAN: [smiling like a kid] But did it work?

ROLAND: You already know it worked, it always did when you wanted to play with my toys when we were kids… [sighs] Okay… If he really means so much to you… I’m going to give him a chance to prove himself. But let it be known, I do this for you and not for him.

ROMAN: I love you, brother. What do you have in mind?

ROLAND: He will come over to this castle for a week. He can bring Janus if he wants. In fact I wouldn’t mind if all of you came here for the week, for a little vacation, if you’re not busy, of course. I will then have the chance to get to know him, and if I’m pleased with what I see, I’ll accept that he marries Janus here with Logan and Patton. Will that make you happy?

ROMAN: You have no idea, Roland. Thank you so much. You won’t regret this, you’ll see.

ROLAND: I’m regretting it already… I hope for your own happiness that he doesn’t mess everything up during that week.

ROLAND: He won’t. You’ll get to like him too, you’ll see.

ROLAND: I hope so, Roman. I hope so…

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chaseprice · 7 years

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this kind of depends on whether u as a person believe there are things that you can get over/accept/move on from etc but like: chloe price. the girl hasn’t gotten over anything.

we meet her at a point in her life where a bunch of other shit is going on including dealing with literal superpowers/(super)natural disasters ((but also like, things like having feelings for ur childhood best friend, trying to find ur missing best friend, trying to work out what the fuck’s going on with the drugging and corruption in the local school lol, etc)) so. there are so many focuses. although a massive chunk of the story is largely centered around chloe, and max’s relationship with chloe, and the lengths max would go to for chloe-- chloe doesn’t have a massive character arc? she doesn’t? like, people wanna say things like, oh yeah she was Selfish at the start and then was willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of the town-- girl, she wants to die either way. she’s depressed and suicidal. her saying that she’s okay with max letting her die at the end isn’t some massive Character Development. maybe dontnod wanted it to be? but they suck so much that honestly their whole vision of what they wanted to portray is just messy garbage, unfortunately, so i can’t tell if they did or not. but anyways point is: they failed. regardless. they didn’t portray the message that chloe, as a character, had been fully developed and could be put to the side like ‘yes, this is a Complete character right here, we done good lads, we told her story’. they just Dint!!!!

yes, chloe is one of the more developed and more consistent characters in the game, i do think they did a good job with a lot of her writing (except her fate, and how they didn’t want to give her a happy ending). but! g o d! one of the reasons why she’s so good is because she’s so rich and multidimensional? they give her this backstory (i don’t care if ppl say it’s clichéd like i just don’t care, i already give dontnod a ton of shit but i won’t give them shit for chloe’s backstory being tropey, her teen/childhood pain is too relatable for me to bash) that’s Painful and Show us this girl with so many issues and problems and... she’s just so wonderful and, playing as max, you’re meant to grow to just Care for her so much and you can SEE how much max cares for her so you. want to see her happy? you want her to be okay, and for issues to be resolved, and so on. but............. y’know... when you reach the ending..... they’re so. ignored. they’re just brushed to the side? and i really doubt dontnod have the capacity for it to just be symbolic of the message “sometimes you just have to push issues to the side and deal with One Big Important thing for the Greater Good”. they’re just....... well, they’re careless. they’re lazy too but like in this situation they literally ran out of money (like, literally) and couldn’t make ep 5 as long/developed as they wanted to. soooo.... all chloe’s shit got pushed to the side. and the only Chloe thing that matters at the end is her willingness to sacrifice herself for the town. which is sad. and just implies that in the sac bay ending, she would have a lot of personal issues to sort through in ADDITION to the fucking issues that arise from letting your girlfriend watch as a tornado destroys the town. ‘for you’. shit’s fucked up dude.

but ALSO. this Also implies. like, in the sort of happy everything’s fine AU that we all like to believe in where ep 5 just didn’t happen-- chloe’d still have a lot of shit to deal with? and i’m not just talking about her mental illness bc i talk about that all the time; i was actually thinking about william in particular before making this post. chloe is Fucked Up about william. and it’s been. 5 years. it’s her dad, of course she’d be fucked up for years, but like. it’s still affecting her A Lot. her breakdown in ep 3 was triggered by rachel cheating shit, fueled by her thinking everyone betrays her, and we’re meant to believe the Root of it is because of william (i know it might’ve seemed like it was just for plot purposes, and i guess it kinda was, but i’ll be nice and lenient for dontnod for once and believe ‘em). aaaand. then of course there’s the arbitrary episode 4 bullshit that’s completely unnecessary and mildly ableist and just for Shock Factor and so on- which. completely uses up a part of the game that could’ve been used for talking through her william stuff or. Anything. something. i don’t know. thing is, we come back from that universe and are thinking like, alright, william’s GOTTA be dead so we’ve accepted that but. chloe hasn’t? the only sort of indication that chloe has even thought about it since is her text that’s her apologizing for freaking out, and still, like. that does NOT imply she’s worked through it in any way, she’s just. calmed down. not breaking down anymore.

also back to main canon and not inc. happy au: we’re meant to get some kind of resolution/acceptance when we find rachel dead, like that’s just another one of chloe’s issues (and the story’s plot points) ‘completed’. chloe doesn’t even get the time to GRIEVE before she’s murdered herself. she’s resurrected in the next episode, then she briefly talks about rachel getting revenge, and max making things right for rachel or w/e, but it’s not enoughhhhhhh. it’s just not enoughhh. we play the whole game with this secondhand desire/mission/motivation to find rachel (for chloe!!!!) and then... nothin! nada! like 1/3 of chloe’s character is rachel-related and we don’t even get to see her Properly react or talk about it except for crying and then wanting to kill who did it (which... wow, yes. that was kinda powerful and telling for characterization, i’ll admit, but STILL probably the rushed-ness of it was unintentional on dontnod’s part and not actually to do with chloe’s quick harsh emotions and reactions. an accidental good thing). there was such a build up to... nothing. and i don’t think it was deliberate

and. she hasn’t gotten over max leaving her either :_) she.... she hasn’t. dont get me wrong i LOVE how she puts it to the side really quickly and forgives her Just Like That and still fucking falls in love with her (bc it’s so THEM, it’s so pricefield) but ... that’s. largely because chloe desperately needs max at this point in her life. and like literally every single fear of abandonment/betrayal chloe harbors has been influenced by max leaving like THE GIRL JUST AINT OVER IT even in the future their relationship is still gonna be a tiny tiny bit insecure for chloe bc she’s worried she’ll be left again or Not Good Enough or anything (like, duh she’ll figure out that max isn’t gonna leave again, and she really does love her, but still. those annoying feelings are real and STILL THERE). that’s Fucked her up good! she’s just a fucked up girl! whom i love.

chloe has soooo many !!!!!! Personal Issues that just aren’t fully explored in lis.... and it’s disappointing but .... not the worst, i guess, because she is the best character in the game and the rest of the stuff To Do With Her can maybe make up for it. and yeah, it would take years to work through some of this stuff so i know it’s impractical to expect it to all be ‘’solved’’ in the game or whatever but like.... some further acknowledgement of underlying issues and insecurities remaining after a while..... would be nice. lmao this post wasn’t even meant to be critical of lis/dontnod at first it was literally me just trying to say “chloe hasn’t gotten over shit” lol. like, she’s just Coped Unhealthily for years and years. ignored things, resorted to Bad Shit, gotten in nasty messes, and didn’t give a shit about it bc she didn’t give a shit about herself.lbr this fucked up Lass is more fucked up than she lets on

#donnnnttttt fuckin read this

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survivor-kalymnos · 4 years

Text

Ep. 10 - “I need ice cream. I need a quesadilla. I need a hug.” - Lenny

Frank

I swear I have a heart. I end up getting caught in so many fights in orgs nowadays and honestly it’s not something I enjoy but I’m also not just going to sit back while I’m being attacked. What hurts the most is reading about not holding a conversation. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard it in orgs and not even the first time I’ve heard it in life and it hurts and sucks. I’m like on the verge of tears because of shit like that, I’m a person I have feelings and I try to be good at speaking to people but I fall short so many times. It’s one of my biggest fears, losing people because of my social ineptness (don’t think that’s a word but here we are). What I can do is move on and move forward with the people who seem to enjoy talking to me and have actually not just left me on read and put effort into getting to know a person and how they communicate. And them worm is just sitting here doing absolutely nothing but nobody is calling them out on it so fuck me i guess. I’m gonna be sad about it for a little bit but it’s not like I feel like it was a personal attack since truly it wasn’t.

lenny

eliza went home. SO MUCH DRAMA! I am just watching rn. new alliance chat formed called "invisibles". makes me feel very superhero like.

lenny

People are yelling. People are fighting. People are calling each other snakes and rats. I just want to munch. I need ice cream. I need a quesadilla. I need a hug.

Frank

Me to Franco: that's why i just said ok, at least i read messages, wanted to let you know you've been heard....not listened to, but heard Michele Learned to see the game from an outside. No longer taking everything personally. Excited to leap back into this, but might try to hide around for a few rounds and let them take out bigger threats.

Frank

So it’s like 2am and I have some thoughts. It’s been a roller coaster tonight in this game and I’m actually really proud of how I handled things. I’m in an actual alliance now which is calming and amazing since it’s a majority and I feel I can trust some of these people. That tribal definitely drew some lines in the sand but I’m pretty happy about it. Like I said in my last confessionals, I don’t always like to fight, but it happened. I think I defended myself well. Nothing really got solved but I saw how Rain feels about me. I didn’t even know they had a problem with me because they just never responded to my messages. Why they decided to join the fight is anyone’s guess since it didn’t involve them nor did it need to. I didn’t have a problem with Rain, but I guess I do now. I guess moving forward I need to become a better speaker in one on one conversations but that’s a bigger issue. Who knew dusty would be my closest ally now but here we are. Dusty and Sasha, but like I doubt I can take dusty to f3 but who knows what will happen in the future, f3 is so far away.

Michele

I’m mostly certain that my brother is Frank and wow I could have taken him out for bragging rights but tbh starting to trust him so he might need to stay. Really starting to watch out for Dusty tho👀

Franco

Day 1 of missing Eliza. I'm SO PISSED. I knew eliza giving her idol would bite us in the ass, I wish I could have done something to stop it. If I had known eliza was the target i would have played my idol on her in a HEARTBEAT. Im kicking myself because theres so much we could've done. We shouldn't have tried to split last minute. If I kept my vote on Frank, he would have left. Michele is a rat. Dusty is a snake. Frank is basically a nonentity in this game but somehow also is the biggest annoyance in the game. I want them all gone. I need to reevaluate my game. Hopefully they move onto other targets now that my number 1 is gone, but I dont trust that enough. Dusty is now in control of 2 idols, and I wasted my own. I don't know how to come back from this, but there is a fire under my ass and renewed rage, and I am going to do EVERYTHING i can to win this fucking game

Michele

After talking to other people I don’t think I’m going to win immunity. It’s probably better for my game anyway given the fact that I won the last 2 public comps. I hope I can fly under the radar at tribal and send franco packing but the tables have turned and once again there might be bigger fish to fry. Unfortunately that fish might be me...

Franco

Day 2 of missing Eliza God this is actually.... So depressing. 5 out of the 7 people left in this game left me on read yesterday when I was trying to talk game to them. Multiple people flat out told me I was on the bottom and Im probably going next. Yesterday I said I had a fire under my ass and I was ready to take back this game but today that is... Gone. Like I feel so defeated. I feel like I'm putting in so much effort to talk to everyone and figure out what to do but I'm just hitting brick walls. This challenge is easy and I can easily win with effort, but that is effort I dont have the capacity to put in right now. And even though I have hundreds of pictures, I have a feeling someone is just going to come in and blow that out of the water. I don't see a path to the end. Im going to put in as much work as I can for the rest of this round, hoping I find one. But right now theres nothing. I really hope that changes.

lenny

I am so exhausted from this challenge. I worked really hard at it and my mom got upset with me for dojng it because I should be doing work for class lol. I'd really like to win this challenge. For me, winning is more than immunity. It shows that I am a strong competitor and deserve to be here. I know I am not the loudest person in the tribe or the sneakiest, but, I am still here and that means something right?

Sasha

uhhhh I'm going to make this as comprehensive as possible but also my brain is fried so I'm gonna see how it goes last round: bunch of us voted out eliza, which really only worked because she and franco were had turned on some people to blindside cranjes before. also the 5 of us who did that have a chat now, called "the invisibles" (it's dusty, lenny, michele, frank, and I) we're planning on going for franco this round, assuming he doesn't in this challenge (I don't think he will) speaking of franco, he approached me yesterday to have a convo about the game so far. he basically explained his involvement in a bunch of stuff to me and was saying that even though people perceived him to be running the game, he felt as though he'd been floundering these past few rounds. he also said that he respected my game and I was like "lol what game" then he asked how likely it was that he'd go this round and I said fairly. he also asked if I'd consider not voting for him. I said maybe. I probably will; I'm actually in an alliance and I'd like to stick with it asdfgknj also this challenge? I have a good feeling about. I've taken so many pictures that my brain hurts. also I knew I'd have a good edge since I own about 300 books so that's a good chunk of pictures right there.

Rain

I’m defeated. I’m angry. Literally nobody but franco and Lenny is putting in the effort to speak to me. It’s fucking painful. I’d rather go home this round than see Franco leave. Franco deserves to be here. You know who doesn’t? Frank. Frank continues to be on borrowed time hiding underneath allies that play better than him. My cat has a better social game than frank and she hisses at anyone who comes close to her. I’m pissed. We could have the numbers to stay but Lenny won’t keep franco. What the fuck. Take me to jury. I’m done with these “only speak to my allies” shit players.

Franco

I don't know what to do.

Michele

When I first started this game I did it for the sole purpose of beating my brother. My mindset has changed as I’ve gotten so far. I *really* want to win now!! It’s going to be really rough but I think I can do it?

Sashah

i im still bitter 3 hours later that I went ham on this challenge, fried my brain, and got second

Franco

Day 3 of missing Eliza I AM ABSOLUTELY SHITTING MYSELF. GOD MY DEVELOPMENT ARC FOR THIS ROUND IS SO CRAZY. I know I'm probably the target tonight, yesterday I was so sad all day and literally just felt like giving up. But TODAY. I found???? Idol????? AGAIN???? That fire has been RE LIT SIS. My ass ain't going anywhere tonight

Michele

Getting the invisibles to come to a decision is almost as frustrating as when I tried with og nera. Lack of communication is why I am almost a free agent. Trying to BB17 Steve my way to the top.

Frank

I’m hoping it’s an easy round and we just get rid of Franco. This alliance was made after the vote last time so it would be really dumb and sad if we can’t even vote together once.

Michele

I think of all tribals in the game so far tonights will be the most impactful to my game personally. As far as I know it seems like my vote is the deciding factor. I’m down between rain and frank, but I don’t personally want frank gone. I’m weighing the pros and cons going forward and its so even.

MicheleJ

ust a rat looking for her Linguini

Dusty

Alright!!!!! Now this vote would appear simple, take out Franco, who's all alone and blown up his game. Worm and Rain were working with him before but they’ve both expressed to me that they would vote of Franco if it were to help further there game. And of course this is a smart decision but my my brain gets on caffeine I just get to thinking!! If I were to give my idol to Franco, then he uses the idol and gets to decide who goes home. Now ultimately this is a mess because he could decide to vote of someone that I don’t want to go home. So as much as it sounds fun and dramatic I don’t really think that’s a smart move. Now back to Rain and Worm...they’ve both presented me with an opportunity. At this point in he game I think whoever goes into final 7 tribal with the power will really have influence over the rest of the game. If I stick with this alliance of 5 (Sasha, Frank, Lenny, Michele, and myself) then we go into 7 with majority, but it also creates a situation where Sasha and Frank are a duo and then Lenny, Michele, and I are more than individuals but less than a trio and at this point in the game that’s not a solid ground to stand on. Talking to Worm they saw Michele and I were a tight duo, and while talking to Rain they saw Lenny and I as a tight duo. Now this was NEWS to me because I always thought Michele was close to Worm, and same with Lenny and Rain. This gives me the opportunity next round to decide who i want to work with and hopefully stick with that group until the end. Obviously things could happen very differently, I’m unsure if I will go to Michele or Lenny to propose sticking together until the end, but who knows what could happen in this game.

Worm

This game is with out a doubt the wildest ride I have ever been on in an org. I have changed my path to the end so many times, and I feel like a majority of that is because of how chaotic some of the other people are playing. So with everything going on I just need to keep my head down and make sure that no matter how many people I betray, I need to make sure I still have that bridge built to work with them. I'm putting a lot of faith this round in Michele because its all up to her to vote for Frank. I don't why Im trusting Franco to take the reins with this vote, especially after HE TOLD MICHELLE ABOUT HIS IDOL. Like I'm flabbergasted. What is this cast problem with not telling every living soul about them having an idol. i'm just hoping everything work out because if it doesn't, then I'm not too sure of my chances of staying are. I wounder if people would go after larger targets or someone else. There is too many questions right now that I can't answer. So until then I will focus on what I can try and control. So the plan for the rest of this game will hopefully go as follows: this round we flush dusty's idol and get rid of frank. After that i would like to either get rid of Rain. I think out of everyone left they are the most likely to win. They are well-spoken, smart, and has a great relationship with everyone. I think if they make it to the end then they would have the best chances of winning. I think my best bet would be to work with Michele, Dusty, and maybe Lenny. That third person is kind of a mystery to me but if I can get Michele and Dusty on board then I think we can pull in a third. Maybe if Franco doesn't find another idol and he thinks that his back is against the wall then maybe he would flip. Only time would tell. After that at final 6 I would like to target Sasha. She seems like a wild card and I'm not sure where her head sits in this game. I also know that her and Franco are getting closer so that could leave Franco with no allies. I think after that, Dusty would be the best person to target. I think he also as a very high chance of winning and having someone so close with such a good chance of winning is a big threat. At final 4 I would want either Michele or Lenny out. Preferably Lenny because I think she has better social bonds and with Michele becoming more and more quiet it seems that will be my choice. I think Franco is one person I want in the end because even though he is making "big moves", many of them seem erratic and without logic to me. I don't think he has the foresight to see what consequences have occurred from his decisions. I know this isn't how the game is gonna go but I sure hope it does lol

Franco

OKAY so i spent a LOT of today mulling over options and plans and votes and allies. This might be the last chance i have to make a HUGE move with an idol so I have to make it work. Not gonna lie, I got messy. I slipped and told Michele, Rain, and Worm about my idol. But i don't think it blew up in my face, surprisingly. I'm lying to almost everyone. There are four different plans going on but only one is true. The plan is to get Dusty to use an idol AND ensure someone I don't trust goes home. I know Dusty, Lenny, and Frank are voting me, but my idol will ensure it does not matter. Rain, Worm and I are voting Dusty. He needs to have the most votes so he's forced to use the super idol and we don't have to worry about it anymore. I really trust Sasha. Like Rain and Sasha are my biggest allies right now, but unfortunately I had to lie to Sasha to ensure there weren't any leaks. I told her that the vote was going to Michele. So that's who she should be voting for. Michele knows about the plan to use my idol and flush Dustys, so she is going to vote Frank. SO if all goes according to plan, it will be a tie between Michele and Frank and it will go to a revote. Michele is an absolute rat and a snake and I can't trust her anymore. I want her GONE. After the first vote im going to campaign my ass off in those couple minutes to get her to go. SO YEAH. Me and all of my allies should be safe. FrancoAlso. Can i just say how SHOOK I am at this game? This round has been a rollercoaster, and this vote is so intense. There are so many intricacies and internal connections and ideas going on that is all cohesive in the grand scheme of whats actually going on. This is why I love Survivor and I love this game. Truly i think this is the most I've ever played from a strategic standpoint.

Sasha

in a twist of events, I'm voting with franco rather than for him why? well, bold of you to assume /I/ understand my own actions serious answer: because I realized that I talk the most to him and I'm closer to him than anyone else as a result. not even just game talk. just vibing and chatting about stuff, like shouting about the witcher for instance also I'm just vibing and not caring about Game(tm) so what do I have to lose by turning on the invisibles anyway rain was telling me that they were thinking of voting for franco and I was like "ok but first consider this new information: I'm not voting for him" and so they said that they won't vote for him franco decided to target michele instead, because she keeps flipping around to whatever benefits her, which makes sense. I guess I'm just chilling until the vote since, in theory, the invisibles decided to vote franco (I didn't try to convince them to vote for someone else just in case, because it would look highkey sus if I started to try to get the vote off franco after trying to vote for him three goddamn times)

Frank

It’s very quite and that makes me concerned for some reason bc I just don’t do well with quiet anymore I guess. I know survivor is on and I’m watching it too but like it’s been quiet for most of the day. I just hope that’s because it’s an easy round, but obviously I’m never going to feel comfortable.

Sasha

This is the second time I'm voting with someone who's engaging in a last ditch effort to save themselves. Hopefully it goes better this time

Sasha

WAIT FRANCO JUST USED AN IDOL SDFGHJK

Sasha

this tribal, man franco and I assume worm and rain, voted dusty to flush his super idol so then it was a tie between michele and frank I got 3 dms, one from michele just saying "please!!!" which is the only thing that kept me from confirming my vote for her immediately one from franco elaborating on the plan to flush the idol and one from dusty asking if I wanted to keep frank. I said yes and he confirmed. That was a surprise

Sasha

FUCK IT'S ROCKS BETWEEN ME, WORM, AND RAIN

Sasha

well shit

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