Tumgik
#i dont have the mental STRENGTH to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
celestialtarot11 · 11 hours
Text
May Month Predictions for You 🌅💖
Hi friends! Welcome back to another PAC reading. Today we’ll be doing May month predictions 🤭 this ones extra spicy! Enjoy and feel free to like comment and reblog 🤍
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pile 1: Hi there pile 1’s! 🌅💗 I see for you May is all about speaking your truth and owning your needs/wants. Speaking up about the things you like or don’t like, setting boundaries and becoming organized. If you are moving into a new place this month will be about physical organization, it helps you think clearly and feel better when your space is clutter free. Also this is a month for you of clearing out the old, especially physical things. It may carry emotional attachments and its time to release that. May for you is beautiful because I see you are becoming disciplined in your goals, plans and solidifying your dreams. You are also having the strength and capacity to let go of what doesn’t serve you 🥰🤍 If you are wondering about romance this month is the month where you focus on you, i know it may not be what you want to hear especially if you are seeking a person. This isn’t a sign they won’t come in, I think spirit is saying to get your ducks in a row for yourself first and this person will meet you halfway ☺️💗 which can very well be in this month! Never mess with divine timing 🤣 I think for those who are in relationships you will be coming back to yourself, focusing on self care a lot more and will be prioritizing healthier habits and mental stimulation. This may be a month for you to explore dating as well if you haven’t found someone! 👀 enjoy pile 1’s!
Pile 2: Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💖🤍🤭 I could you not I was so excited for you doing this reading!! If you are wanting a promotion or a job this is the month! If you are an entrepreneur and hoping to receive financial help it will come! You are moving into such an abundant place mentally emotionally and physically, and nothing is in your way. You want to focus on peace, wealth and happiness this month, and you are self assured in your joy 💖🌅 For those who are moving places, this place will help you relax and find lots of peace and abundance. Material abundance and also internal happiness. If this is something you’ve been working on for a long time, like a project, a business, or moving out, it will pay off in May. May is your month to shine and feel good. I see any storms are being put to rest, you’re focused on you and you feel open minded. Any financial opportunities will flow to you now 🤍🌅 in terms of romance I do see you’re maybe looking for options now, but not at your expense. Meaning you are performing self care whilst managing options and we love that! There will be someone coming in to whisk you away 👀 and I mean in a good way lol. They will have you intrigued by their conversation and way of thinking. You will enjoy debates and banter and discussions with this person. This can also be a new friend for a lot of you! Not necessarily romantic. Thank you pile 2 for being here 💗🌅 dont forget to like comment and reblog to spread the love
Pile 3: Hey there pile 3 👀 welcome! 🤗 For your May month I see travel plans are being solidified. I also heard “the gc made it out the group chat” so for you maybe there is a friend group you’ve been wanting to travel with, and May is when it happens! I also see you are focused on making different streams of income which is leading you to explore different positions, and experiences. Like maybe you have one job where you make pizza and then another where you are a contract manager 🤣 two vastly different options! But it would be something you enjoy. Something that calls to you and something you’re ready to pursue. Its definitely not tedious and boring as a contract manager, its something that you already wanted to do and thought of for so long. May month could be clearing up for you in terms of your schedule, and time. So you have more time to focus on you and your hobbies. For romance ya’ll could be meeting a fancy person whilst traveling 👀 or it could be everyday commute and someone strikes your fancy. Someone you’d like to be with, they have what you consider is attractive 🥰🤍 ya’ll could also be traveling home and are saving up and May month is wonderful! I also am hearing for advice dont stick to plans too much this month, there’s something about you being reliant on structure and plans which nothing is wrong (I do the same) but spirit wants you to be flexible a little. Allow for some spontaneous adventure, random happenings, and fun 👀 enjoy pile 3! 💗💖 dont forget to like comment and reblog 🤍
Thank yall for always being here 💗🥰 this one is a fun one! Wishing ya’ll a happy May month.
Paid readings ☺️🌅
94 notes · View notes
yuyu1024 · 2 days
Text
Babe
Pairings: S.coups × y/n
Genre/tags: protective/possessive bf
Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 fluff but smut, unprotected sex, pet names, cursing, semi public, handjob
~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 3k
Disclaimers:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: looong time no post. ✨️I was away... got sick and mentally not doing okay... and I dont think im 100% okay yet...Its been hard but still trying my best :)
i might be coming back to writing here and there... but not consistent. Hopefully you understand...
meaning, i will be a 🐌 in updating nor posting and won't be online mostly. 🖤
(i cant promise i can jump back to the Yoongi/Suga series yet also sorry 😭 hopefully one day but not soon.)
Me writing... is depending if im okay.
Also, Thank you for the kind messages in DMs. I really do appreciate them...even tho i don't reply 🖤 pls know its very helpful.
Thank you.
P.S its been a long time since i wrote anything so.... rusty.🥲 this is my just trying to get back to it.
-----------------------------------------------------
Tumblr media
Seungcheol, your boyfriend, texted you to meet him at school. Which surprised you the second you read it because it has been weeks since he went to school.
He has been doing special online classes these past weeks as he can't walk. Yet. He slipped while playing soccer with the boys two months ago causing an injury on his left leg. It was very painful to watch him yell in pain during that game. It was supposed to be just a fun game with his friends and you and their other friends watching but yeah, accidents happen.
"What are you doing here?" You gasp the second you enter the University clinic and saw your boyfriend sitting and chatting with the school doctor.
"Babe." He smiles and opens his arm, asking for a welcome hug
"Babe!" You squeal and immediately run and hugged him tightly.
"I missed you." He mumbles lightly lifting you off the floor even he's sitting on the clinic's bed.
He never lost his strength.
"Ditto." You say and kissed him on his cheek before letting go. "Wait... why are you here?" You ask again. "He can go back to school now?" You turn to ask the doctor behind you
"He can. But I still suggest no." He folds the folder his holding and sits down on his desk. "He can walk now with crutches easily yes... but... going up and down... walking building to building to classes...." doctor shakes his head
"I'm just here to visit, babe." Cheolie says caressing your back. "To report my health to him... to let know the team..."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry..." he press his lips together and giving you an apologetic look.
"I'll leave you two to talk... I have to go on a meeting now in the faculty. Just let the nurse know when you leave okay? So she can assist you with the wheel chair."
"Okay, doc. Thank you."
And as soon as the doctor leaves and shut the door close behind him, Seungcheol immediately grabs you by the waist, pull you close to his body and leans in to fully kiss you.
It feels rushed at the beginning but as soon as you find the perfect spot to lean your body weight to his, it felt smooth and just sensational. You even opened your mouth completely to let his tongue explore you.
You two haven't kissed for awhile. The rent is due.
"I missed you so much." He whisper as he pulls away to take a breather.
"This is the longest we've been away from each other..." you say as you straighten your stand
"Yeah... I got busy healing..."
"And I got busy at school... and at home..." you answer as you sit down beside him. "How are you feeling at the moment?"
"Good....well.. better now that I've kissed you." He smirks and plants a tiny kiss on your temple
"Babe..." you lean on his shoulder
"You know you always make me feel good..." he chuckles. "Also... Doc said my leg is healing pretty good..."
"That's good to hear..." you stand up once again. "So... can I--"
And before you could ask him another question about visiting him soon at home Seungcheol kisses you on your cheek and then on the back of your hand.
"Thank you for always calling me... every night... making sure to check on me... give me updates at school and being an understanding girlfriend. Even though you are tired yourself."
"I didn't do that much." You say holding his hand. "If only I could visit you personally I would..."
But you couldn't. It's not like he leaves far away from you. It's just that you wanted him to just rest. You know how he is when he sees you. He gets excited and acts everything is fine even though he is in pain.
He would probably force himself to get up when you visit him. It's kind og his thing to show off he is strong. Especially to you. He is your alpha lover.
"No...babe. just you calling has saved me from a lot of bad moods and not doing my therapies because... I'm not in the mood." He kisses your hand again.
"Well I'm glad... I could help..." you say smiling.
"And also..." he then bites his lower lip whilst smiling. You already know what he's about to say with those cheeky smirks.
"Hush..." you cover his mouth with your hand, scared that he might say it outloud and the nurse from behind the door might hear. "That's for us only..." you whisper.
He is referring to the video call sessions you do every now and then. To help him when he is... sad and horny.
"You promised... no one should know..."
"Of course..." he murmurs, his mouth is still covered by your hand. "The images are for my eyes to see and for my dick to feel only." He adds and then playfully licks your palm, making you jump a little.
"Hey!" You slap him on his shoulder
He is grinning so much. He is enjoying your reactions. "You're so adorable being shy..." he puts his arm around your waist, securing you between his legs. "My shy little fairy..." he mumbles just before he kisses you again.
You don't deny him of any sort of making out. Even at the clinic. Why woulf you? You missed him so bad too.
So bad that even his hands is skimming your body and even lifting your short A-Line skirt, exposing your bum, just to squeeze it is fine. Perfectly fine.
"Wait." He pauses and looks you in the eyes. "You are wearing a skirt this short... with no protective shorts under?"
"Hmm?" You look at him, confused for a second. "Oh."
He is yout alpha, yes. And one trait of him that is very dominant is him being protective of you. He does not like anyone hurting you, being mean to you and most especially drooling over you. You are his and only his.
"What you mean oh?" He raises a brow. "Well? Why aren't you wearing one?"
You don't have a good excuse. You just forgot. Well... you have been forgetting since he have been away.
"Y/N..."
"You're now calling me by name...." you move back away a little. "I'm sorry... I have no excuse..."
"What if some maniac sees you? When you go up stairs? Or the elevator in the media building? You know its glass right? They can see... what if wind blows and..." he sighs, frustrated. "You know how most guys are."
"I know... I'm really sorry." You pout. "I didn't purposely forget it..."
You see the change in his mood. He is very possessive of you so you know that just the idea of any guy looking at you because they find you cute or have interest of being close to you and whatever, he's already on guard.
He sighs again and also he's already grabbing his crutches.
"Leaving already?" You say in the softes tone.
"Yeah..." he stands up and calls on the nurse for assistance.
"Okay..." you lower your gaze.
You are not sure how to tame your boyfriend since this time you know you are at fault for forgetting and breaking a promise you told him after he was told to stay at home.
You stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder. "Just... call me when you get home."
"I will not call you." He says as he sits down on the wheel chair. "You're coming home with me."
"Wait. What?" You ask
The nurse enters the room and greets the two of you.
"Ready to go home?" The nurse asks
"Yes." Seungcheol smiles at her. "I have a scheduled therapy this afternoon..."
"Oh... I see... goodluck then." She says as she helps to push your boyfriend
"Y/N..." he calls your name out again.
This is the second time he called you by name. He is clearly not okay with the skirt situation. This never happened before.
***
You both arrived at his parent's house. They welcomed you and hugged you even. They thanked you for being a support system for their son even though physically you can't come because, well, they know how their son acts around you.
It's not a secret that their son is so in love with you that he's very clingy and trying to act cool and such.
"I already made food for the two of you so just reheat it if you decide to eat later."
"Oh. Thank you Mrs. Choi." You say
"It's nothing dear... also... thank you for being his care taker for tonight... we will enjoy our night on out staycation at the city." His mother says
You are stunned to hear what Mrs. Choi just said. You can't react beside just smiling and nodding. "Ah... ahm... don't worry about us... I'm going to take good care of him."
"Thank you, again." Mr. Choi says.
"We'll get going now... see you tomorrow afternoon, dear." She says to her son who is sitting in the sofa drinking his cola.
"Have fun, Mom and Dad!" He waves at them
And as soon the door shuts and you hear the car engine from outside.
"What the fuck was that?" You stomp you way towards him. "Care taker... tonight?? Babe?"
Nonchalantly he answers. "You will be staying for the night here with me... until tomorrow..."
"Why?"
"Why not?" He looks at you with a coldest stare. "Do you have any other plans? Are you meeting with anyone?"
"No..."
"And then... stay...."
"But... my parents..."
"I already told them... they are fine with it."
"When?"
"I called them earlier... before I texted you to come to the clinic."
You are in complete shock. "Cheolie..." you whine
"Now, you're calling me by name?" He raises a brow. "Why are you acting like that? It's like you don't want to stay with me."
"That's not it."
"Then what?"
You sigh. You are lost for words.
Yes you should be happy you are spending time with your boyfriend but he could've told you. You would say yes if he asked or told you.
You are just stunned maybe or confused with him doing this too since he's been being snappy at you since earlier.
"Whatever." You mumble throwing your bag to the floor and just sitting down at the chair opposite of where he's sitting.
Now you are the one in the bad mood.
"I still have the clothes and undergarments you left from last time..." he then says in a much calmer tone.
"Okay." You answer not looking at him.
You are not mad at him. You are just not happy with what he did. He probably wanted to surprise you with the idea earlier but since it got ruined during your clinic make out session. Now things are...
"Babe." He calls you
You turn your head to look at him. He looks serene now.
"Can you please come here..." he says
You get up and make your way to him, to sit down beside him.
"Not there." He says holding on to your wrist and leading you to move somewhere else. "Here..." he gestures for you to sit on top of him.
"But... your leg..."
"I can manage..." he breathes and then tugs you down so he could kiss you, cupping your face with one hand.
Your hands are now on his chest for balance support. You tried pulling away from the kiss but
"Sit..." he says in between the kiss.
And you do as he says. Kneeling down on the sofa, legs spread between his thighs, you sit down on him and slowly put your arms around his neck.
"Cheolie..." your lips part ways as you spoke and he tries to chase the kiss again but you bite your lips together. "Wait..."
"Why...?" He pouts
"What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" He runs his hands from your legs to your thighs and then underneath your skirt.
"You were just so cold to me... not even talking to me like I'm your girlfriend... and now you're kissing me and touching me..."
He throws his head back for a second and then sighs. "Babe, I'm sorry.... I was... well..."
"I said I'm sorry about the skirt... Don't worry. I will just wear pants starting on monday...."
"You sure?"
"Yeah... I promise." You kiss the tip of his nose. "I will just wear skirts when I'm with you."
"Really?" He raises a brow with matching smirk, biting his lower lip.
"Yeah..." you move your hips forward knowing what this tiny move will do to him. "I know you like to have easy access with me when we're together..." you softly say
He grunts as he feel you move a bit more. Rocking your hips over his erection that's sort of protected by his black jogging pants.
"I know what you're doing..." he hums
"And I know you like... what I'm doing..."
His smile goes ear to ear. "You're lucky I can't stand on my own yet... If I could..."
"What will you do?"
"Carry you over my shoulders and spread you on top of my bed..."
"And...?" You put your forehead to his.
"And...fuck you 'till dawn..."
Just the thought made you horny and wanting him. But since he can't do what he usually does to you, you decide to handle this on your own.
"You can still fuck me..." you say, grinning. "We have all night till tomorrow to find a way... a position you want me to be in."
"Fucking hell, babe." He grunts, sounding excited and turned on.
You adjust your position, making sure you can access him easily. Him meaning his long veiny length that's already leaking.
"Shit! Ah!" His mouth drops the second you hold onto him. His eyebrows is showing how he's loving the way you stroke and pump him. "Babe..." he moans. "Babe... aaaaahhh..." he throws his head back, his hands on his hair, trying to hold on to reality coz he is floating in heaven right now.
"Should I... let the tip touch me?"
"Touch... you?" He looks at you, brows furrowed from the high.
You already removed your panties off without him noticing.
"Yes... like this...." you then adjust your position back on top of him and lowered yourself just enough for the tip of his dick feel your entrance.
"Babe, fuck!" He snarls throwing his head back. "Your so damn wet already..."
You let him feel the wetness for awhile before you ease him in you.
"Holy... shiiiiit!"
"Ngggeeeaaah..." you breathe in as you suck him in whole.
"You're doing great babe." He pushes the hair off your face. "Don't rush it... just... feel it... feel me..."
When he's completely in you, you didn't move. You just hugged your man and took a breather.
"I can't believe my little fairy is being so daring..."
"Because I want to give you what you want... what you need..." you mumble on his neck.
"Babe, you know I can wait till I'm healed and ready to fuck you..."
"I know..." you look him in his eyes, "but I miss it too..."
"You do?"
You nod. "Us video calling... while we... you know... is not enough... I thought it was enough... but when I saw you earlier... I really did missed you more than I can imagine."
"You miss my dick?" He tease
"Babe!" You hide your face on his neck again.
"Ugh..." he suddenly moans. "Wow. I didn't know you get tigher when I tease you."
Seungcheol starts to move his hips a little, to ease dipper into you.
"Ah..." you exhale shakily. "Cheolie...hmmm...."
"You like that?"
"I do."
Then you start to move yourself.
You leaned back a little, pushing forward and pulling backward in motion to meet his slow but deep thrusting.
"Cheolie..." you cry his name as you feel like reaching your climax.
"Just let it go..."
"Fuck!" You throw your head back, panting and shaking. "Come with me..." you say, "come....with me..." you clentch more down there, making him feel the tightness.
"But babe..." biting on his lips, hissing and trying to control himself. "We don't have condoms."
"I don't care." You lean in for a sloppy kiss. "Come with me. I need to see you... melt with me..."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Babe..."
"Please..." you beg, "I want to feel it..."
"Fuck it!" He snarls as he goes to squeeze your ass under your skirt as he picks up the pace with you
It's amazing how strong he is. Even with an injured leg he could lift his hips to meet yours.
"Aaah!!" You moan as loudly as you can as you felt something in you pop.
He growls as soon as feel his length starts to release and feel the warmth in you.
"Fuck babe..." he is panting. "Our first time you being on top..."
Embarassed after your orgasm, you hug your man and hide your face again. "I only did what I know and can..."
"You did amazing... your handjob is what I needed to get me into the a frenzy." Then he kisses the top of your head. "I fucking love you... whatever you do... makes me love you even more..."
"I love you too..." you go for a kiss again. But then burst into a giggle when you felt him move. "You are still in me... I can feel you."
A smile spread over his lips, "Maybe we should continue this on my bed. I can do other positions and pump more in you if you want."
You grin, blushing. "I'd love to."
133 notes · View notes
theo-decker · 9 months
Text
One thing about resuming strength training again semi-seriously but still being too deranged and mentally exhausted to eat anything other than instant meals from familymart is. Im fucking sore lmao 
4 notes · View notes
koipalm · 9 months
Note
what if even tho sy is just an assistant sometimes disciples ask him questions bc he's weirdly well read for some dude who just spawned in one day and he'll just Answer shit if it's innocent enough. how does x demon fight? where would you find y monster? and his little hyper fixation brain just rears its head. just a weirdly helpful little scrunkly
RIIIIIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. to the disciples hes just this guy that their shizun keeps around that knows weird obscure facts. disciples go to him like hes their personal xianxia google. i think it would be REALLLLYY funny if when sy realized his position in the sect hed be like "oh god im failing these kids. they need moral support they need 3 meals a day they need to know what kind of plant they can use to ward off Six Legged Snow Panthers" or smth like that. im not sure hes in a good headspace to really figure out how to take care of kids actually
106 notes · View notes
pepprs · 6 months
Text
ok im back home. i had another huge breakdown last night as soon as we drove away from the airport (it really started waiting at the gate for the plane LMAO but i had to suppress the tears for 3 hours bc i was surrounded by people 💖) and when i texted my therapist she didn’t reply LOL and now i have to go to work in an hour and work a full day and catch up on everything i missed while i was gone and be extremely normal and act like i am not bleeding out from the open wound in my heart rn. really not doing good. i think i need to go on depression and anxiety meds and should have been on meds all along. i truly can’t keep living like this abd im scared of what will happen if i do
9 notes · View notes
mihai-florescu · 6 months
Text
I was definitely a gatherer, not a hunter in my past life
10 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 6 months
Text
this writing shit hard as hell
6 notes · View notes
ruthlesslistener · 2 years
Text
it is admittedly kind of funny that everyone associates me with pk when he's not even my favorite character. i just talk about him a lot because he's a uniquely complex and terrible person, and this fandom constantly posts braindead takes on his awfulness, which irritates the fuck out of my autistic ass. the only trait of his that actually stands out to me would be that hes the bug version of a draconic entity and even then he sucked ass at it. my fanfictions are all specifically dedicated to beating the shit out of him both emotionally and physically, then forcing him to clean up his act so that his children stop suffering. he is a piece of roadkill that i hit with my car and then tossed in the back to dissect later because it was a uniquely ugly-looking specimen. i want to stick him with a cattle prod and see how he jumps
42 notes · View notes
rapidhighway · 10 months
Text
i have to go get a pen
10 notes · View notes
westywallowing · 2 years
Text
been listening to playlists and reading blog posts of other people with different types of chronic pain disorders, and it's honestly been the most comforting and least lonely thing in my journey. it really is something where you don't truly understand the feeling unless you're unfortunate enough to experience it yourself
21 notes · View notes
beomsl · 1 year
Text
i have to say it
tomorrow i'll be in college from 11am to 8pm and i honestly feel like i don't have the mental nor physical strength to be there im panicking just to think how hard it'll be to me to stay focused and okay i feel like 1. im going to pass out 2. im going to have a anxiety attack 3. both
7 notes · View notes
soldier-poet-king · 2 years
Text
Decided that instead of framing exercise as a thing I have to do for my brain (though that is also true) it is instead my angry time (TM). The stronger I get the more absolute insane repressed violence I get to release. I WILL learn to box or fight one day. I've been too timidly afraid BC I'm small and round and soft looking (we hate to see it) but mother I crave safe productive expressions of violence
22 notes · View notes
nebulaleaf · 1 year
Text
uuuuuaaasgh uuuuaaaaagh . futaba. god the august arc is so good. i dont care ehat anyone says.
12 notes · View notes
caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
Text
So apparently even if I gain muscle strength from exercising, I can't actually use it because my connective tissue is fucked up -_-
I still have a lot to learn about ehlers danlos syndrome so idk what exactly this means other than I'm feeling really discouraged because I'm I'm pain and I'm doing what I was told to do to make it better and it isn't making it better, it's making me feel worse
10 notes · View notes
Text
Everything has just kinda come to a halt over the last day lmao
6 notes · View notes
pepprs · 8 months
Text
ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
14 notes · View notes