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#i dont want anyone else who still works there to feel this way
happy-radio · 2 months
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Somehow day 3 of losing my job feels worse. Like it's setting in. I feel like a failure. I did everything right, but I still wasn't good enough to keep around. So I guess I did everything wrong.
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hazardsoflove · 4 months
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thinking about social worker percy again
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upsidedowngrass · 1 year
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i will say one of my Biggest pet peeves in one fanworks is 'liam becomes the new airy.' like im sorry i respect u and ur interpretations and ur creative interests !!! im glad ppl have fun and have ideas about post canon one, theres a lot of potential there!!!! but also the moment that i see a work have liam do this i instantly stop paying attention
#not putting this in the tag cus i dont wanna make ppl feel bad!!!#and like. i HAVE seen works that mildly explore it but in a way that i kinda like#but its just. it bothers me So Bad#like it contradicts every trait liam has ever shown in the series AND all of his motivations#'ppl qct ooc under stress!' yeah but it doesnt make ppl act in ways Completely diff from who they r... like hes still liam#at that pt hes just a whole new CHARACTER#but its like. his ENTIRE motivation is that he wants to stop anyone else from going what he went thru. will do anything to prevent that#itd literally undo what makes his entire character him at all to have him go back on that. thats literally his most prominent motivation#its SO intrinsically tied to him as a character#like yeah!!! him and airy are both isolated in that world. there are strong similiarities between their characters#but they still went theu snth DISTINCTLY different.#airy died and was isolated. liam was kidnapped and then isolated. it feels just different enough that i CANT see how#liam would just end up as 'airy 2.' their experiences may be similar but theyre still extremely different#and its like. ive said it before but i think julien is meant to serve WAY more of a parallel to liam than airy is#if theres anything i think liam would do if he couldnt get home? it would be to try and try and try#until hes just... not going anywhere#his stubbornness (and juliens stubbornness for that matter) is vital to understanding his actions.#hed never stop even if it meant he REALLY never stopped. and i think thats just as emotionally impactful#and? even if he WERE to act ooc. uh#tbh? i think hes terrified of dying. he does NOT like it. i think esp after the waiting room hed dread it bc all he knows of it#is that hell just keep dying and dying. or end up just stuck there forever#but. if he were to start rly going against his established traits. i think hed more sooner off himself than start s3#ESP since it is his own concern for others that makes him act the most Against his own self in the entire series#when he tries to kill airy. bc he couldnt stand the idea of everything continuing#and airy doing this to more ppl. THAT is what is strong enough to make him go against his own personality#and i think its too deeply intertwined into his character for him to try to deal with isolation by kidnapping people#esp not owen.#suicide mention#ANYWAY. these tags r long#OK TO RB BTW if u want i just didnt tag it bc i dont wanna make any1 goin thru the tag sad or anything
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hussyknee · 9 months
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Reading romantic stories starts to hurt at some point. Because the characters are enough like you to identify with, but nobody has ever loved you like that. You can't imagine anybody ever will.
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savage-rhi · 7 months
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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pepprs · 2 years
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literally for so many reasons i should not do this program tomorrow but explaining why i can’t would be so embarrassing but also i really shouldn’t. lol
#i keep panicking bc i don’t know how to talk abt this in a way that makes it safe for ANYONE. it feels wildly wildly inappropriate to be#participating in a conversation about such an intensely personal sensitive thing LET ALONE facilitating one as someone who has been touched#by it directly. and maybe that’s just me being weird abt this entire broad topic my whole life and uncomfortable at the prospect of even#saying the broad words and touching on the overall topic but this really really feels unbearable and bad. but also i can’t not do it so. lol#purrs#the thought of telling my story and going as deep as i possibly can which might trigger someone when i don’t know who is in the room and#THEN hearing stories from everyone in the room — people i KNOW!!! interact with on a daily basis!!’ — about what horrific things they mightv#been through and getting triggered by that. AND possibly also having ppl in the room who think it’s all bullshit and will say stuff and#everyone else is allowed to react if they’re triggered by that but i am not because im the facilitator and my job is to deescalate. like lol#how am i supposed to do any one of those things. potentially all of them. i feel like collapsing and to say why it makes me feel like#collapsing would involve me having to explain this to people i know anyway so either way im fucked. and like i do want to talk about it very#much but also i dont. at least not until i know what everyone has gone through first. bc i don’t want to hurt anyone bc it can be painful an#and i get hurt by hearing stories too. which is like dumb bc it’s not even MY thing to have stories about lol but im still like this. anyway#this is clearly something i need to be working thru in therapy bc it impacts my life in ways literally no one else in the world sees or#knows about but i don’t know if i will ever be able to bring it up in therapy bc it is just so uncomfortable and embarrassing for me. lol#and like i know km going to contradict myself in even telling the story too which will open the door for someone on the other side to do a#gotcha. and i don’t even know what to do w that. i don’t trust anyone who might be in that room to listen or understand or protect me which#i especially should just let go of because as the facilitator im the person who has to do the protecting. and it sucks bc i need protecting#with this and i will have to pretend im strong and healthy about it when really i have no right to be leading a conversation about it or#even talking about it bc it happened to me but not in ways that anybody even thinks about or cares to think about. so lol. ok stop rambling#even before this all started i have a tjougjt related to this topic every single day. every single one. and it just makes me squirm to think#that now i have to talk about it bc it’s my job. and i really really want to. and i really really don’t
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orcelito · 2 years
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ok ykno what I think the general online atmosphere re: Attraction To Men is very horrible & stunting. I've realized recently that I probably do have some internalized biphobia that was a big motivator for why I identified with the word gay despite not Really having a gender preference. & yea I still identify with gay but also maybe I kinda identify with bi too. Bc my gender is fluid and it really just depends on the day, but overall I am potentially attracted to men too and that doesn't take away from my non-straight identity, & it's not Unfortunate or anything either.
Yes, I'm scared of men I don't know. I'm fucking Terrified of them. But men are still just human fucking people, with as much potential for good as anyone else. The masses of people who are all like "eww who even likes men lol" or ppl feeling ashamed for liking men, like. What's the fucking point? You're making trans men feel awful, you're making gay men feel awful, & hell even cis straight men don't deserve to be put down all the time simply for being men.
So sick of all those people who Genuinely think that's okay. Like lmao get the fuck out of here.
#speculation nation#my own identity is smth im still figuring out but im working on like. not feeling bad or guilty about being attracted to men#which WHAT a reversal of the usual narrative lmfao. i was somehow lucky enough to not end up with internalized homohobia#bc no one rly talked about it when i was growing up. never really registered homosexuality existed until i was a freshman in high school#& then shortly after i realized i was into girls lol#and then i joined tumblr and ive been around that 'eww men' mentality. also frankly an anti-straight mentality.#which yes ive long been over that Straight Shit. but ppl still act so allergic to any kind of m/f pair Regardless of how else#they might be part of the community. re: trans or bi or whatever else#it made me feel ashamed of my potential attraction to men. to the point where when someone i was dating realized they were a trans dude#i let the relationship fizzle and die instead of adapting to it. bc i didnt want to be with a guy.#i still dont rly wanna date cishet guys bc theyre just. kind of Bleh in a way i dont want romantically or otherwise#that's just personal taste. hard to feel personally understood in an intimate way with them#but trans men or bi men r like. Wonderful.#aka i dont like to date anyone who's not lgbt in some way. i think that's a better way to look at it.#girls i date r automatically not straight bc i very much look like a girl lol. guys could be cis and straight tho n im not interested in it#BUT yeah. ive been more open about my feelings re: guys on here bc im working to accept that part of myself#yes i have a girlfriend. no this is not an attempt for actual Application of the attraction. i just want to embrace all of my identity#the identity still exists even if im dating someone. that's how the bi stuff works lol#i still like gay as a descriptor bc it feels like a catch all to me. but also maybe i could be bi too#this is weird gender stuff talking dont come at me for equating the two things lol i just dont know what my gender is doing#anyways peace out it's 4:20 am and i need to get tbe FUCK to sleep
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snekdood · 7 months
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i really try to understand why my fellow progressives are so avoidant of actually introspecting on why they think its still cool to bully. im sorry but thats just an inherently conservative thing to want to do.
#ive had to actually introspect about it. i was never really a bully fr but i did. like everyone else. have judgemental thoughts about ppl#still. and i really had to ask myself. why does it matter that EYE judge this person? 1. im holding my own opinion of this other random#person i probably dont know as being the most important opinion when its like. who tf am i. 2. wtf did this person MORALLY do wrong#to deserve me internally insulting them for how they look or dress or whatever. and even if its someone whos a conservative.#how does me judging that person make the entire situation better at all? it really only just. makes me feel better about the lack of#power i have over that person to not be a dipshit. thats really it#insulting them isnt going to change their mind and LIKE IVE SAID A MILLION TIMES will ONLY make them dig their heels in more#im not saying go up to your local rwinger and give them a hug and validate them or whatever tf. thats not your job. all im asking is simply#shut your brain the entire fuck up when it wants to judge someone for something that they cant control or is morally neutral#charlie kirk having a small face is morally neutral. his politics? not so much! attack that. at least.#(not that the memes aren't funny- but we cant fool ourselves into thinking bullying him is gonna change him or his fans)#i just wanna know why you think your opinion on how someone looks or dresses or whatever is that important is all#the best motto anyone can adopt really is 'MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS' ffs#your opinion on their appearance really doesnt matter like at all! instead of feeling the urge to have an opinion on the way they look#simply let some things ~be~. have 0 opinion about how they look or if theyre weird and awkward. focus on the shit that ACTUALLY matters#you dont always have to sort things in boxes of 'good' and 'bad'. some things can just exist without you labeling them.#and also why do you NEED to label everything and who are you and why do you think your label is important enough to vocalize?#anyways.#and im not gonna act like ive been perfect about this but this is work that we're always gonna hafta do so long as we live in a#susciety that places value on other people and labels them on whether or not theyre good enough for whatever thing#competition outside of friendly sportsball will always be bad change my mind#if the sportsball gets to be unfriendly and too intense to the point that you hate someone you need to fuckin chill and leave the event#lmao. like you've gotta go and take a shower and think for a bit instead of continuing to funnel your rage into ppl who dont deserve it :|#i wanna be clear tho i dont think theres anything morally wrong w making fun of charlie kirk for how he looks. just recognize the reason ur#doing it. bc ur not doing it bc ur someone crusading against misinfo or whatever ur doing it bc u dont know how to convince#him to stop and are throwing spaghetti at the wall
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scalpelsister · 2 years
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anxious attachment won a bit tonight lads ngl
#this is technically vague posting so im hiding the meat of it in the notes#not mean spirited vague posting lets be clear. more anxious mentally ill vague posting where i know i am being insane.#bc a friend has ghosted me for almost a week. not a big deal but we have plans in 3 days. plans we have been working on for a year.#and so now of course. my anxiety ran brain with every abandonment issue one really could have is like. not having it#did they abandon me forever because they hate me now???? did I annoy them? am I sending TOO many texts to check in or#am i not sending enough and I need to ask them if they are ok?#are they ok? did something really bad happen to them? did their phone break?#are they avoiding me because they want to cancel plans or they wanted to go to the event with someone else so now theyre going to#ghost me until after the event to try to make sure I dont show up because I suck that much to be around?#has anyone ever liked having me around? my parents do not seem to like me. how could i expect others to?#why dont people like me.#etc#it is the mental illness spiral from logical concern of like#weird they arent replying when we have plans. hope they are ok and safe#to full conspiracy theories about them plotting against me to hurt me and humiliate me bc they hate me that much#to the through line of everyone on earth hates me and i should never socialize ever because i suck and ruin others lives and happiness#so. thats a logical conclusion i am sure#thats sarcasm i know its illogical and yet. I do still feel that way.#my most unrealistic fantasy is finding someone who enjoys my company and will talk to me more often than 1x week#because i often go 3+ days without hearing another human being talk#like by often i mean that its entirely possible for me to only talk to another person for less than 5 minutes a day#outside of dnd which. hard to schedule but about 2 times a month? and getting to see a friend once every 2-3 months its like#so rare for me to be able to talk to people#its horrible i am operating on a level of loneliness and social isolation that is extreme#im not saying others dont have it worse but like. its bad in here!#and i think that only makes me come across weirder bc im so out of practice and then also it makes my abandonment issues worse bc#i am literally abandoned rn#and so its a bit like. am i even being illogical and stupid for having issues with attachment? like it seems like actually the logical#conclusion based on my life thusfar. the idea that everyone leaves me and hates me seems to track#why is life as a social creachure so hard
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lookingformoondrop · 5 months
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+ Yandere Andy (for my previous request for suggestive themes with a fem reader and him :33)
Yandere!Andrew Graves x f!reader - Drabble thing
TW: TOXIC ANDY, Yandere themes, obsession, possession, manipulative Andy, suggestive themes, foul language, Andy can't keep his hands to himself, threats & intimidation, Andy calls Reader dumb bunny, not proofread.
♥︎Notes: I think out of all the yandere content ive ever written, this is the most toxic. Please readers, if your irl relationship mirrors any of this behavior, LEAVE THEM. Andy is extremely toxic, and if given the chancs hed lock up his bunny for only him to see. I dont condon any of this behavior, but i support Andrew's rights and wrongs. Hope this meets your expectations <3.♥︎
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When dating Andy, there are certain types of rules you must follow.
They're silent rules, sure, never spoken outloud, but you've been with Andy long enough to know that if you break them... there are consequences.
Rule No. 1 : Never dare speak to another man
You can still remember this rule vividly.
It was sometime in April, and you had practically begged Andy to drive you to the mall for new spring dresses.
When he finally agreed, you both drove to the mall and walked around for an hour, just window shopping all the sweet spring deals.
You found a lovely dress and went to try it on. Unfortunately, you realized the size was too small, so you asked Andy to browse the store for something bigger.
This is when the incident happened...
When you finally finished changing, you walked out of the clothing booth with a couple of other items and one adorable shirt that lacked a price.
You searched for a store employee and spotted a young man.
"Excuse me, but is there any way you can find the price of this shirt? I can't seem to find it," you handed the shirt to the employee, and his cheeks turned a dusted pink
"W- Well sure. I can just ask my co-worker to-"
"Fuck off."
You jumped at the cold voice beside you and noticed a very pissed off Andrew. His hand was suddenly on your hip, squeezing your flesh very aggressively.
"I- I'm sorry, sir, but I was talking to this young lady, not you," the young worker looked nervous.
But Andrew was having none of it, "fuck off before I forcibly make you." His eyes narrowed on the man, as he pushed you against his chest.
The employee retreated for the employee back door, his tail practically in between his legs, leaving you absolutely dumbfounded.
You pushed at Andy's chest, "Andrew what the fuck?! He wasn't doing anything wrong, he was literally just helping me find the price tag for some-"
"Do you like pissing me off? I disappeared for not even 5 minutes, and you're letting men drool over you? "
His grip on your hip got tighter, assuring that it would leave a mark for later.
At a loss of words, Andrew leaned in and whispered into your ear,
"You're making me sad, Y/N... Do you honestly want another man?"
His voice sent shivers down your spine, making that spot between your legs ache, and that chilling feel graze your skin with goosebumps.
"Andrew, I don't want anyone else! Please don't be sad, I'm sorry for misleading you," Your eyes got glossy from the guilt that weighed down on you.
He sighed, disappointed. He gripped your wrist, using the hand that was on your hip to rip the clothes you had out of your hand and onto a random display table.
"You're not a very good girlfriend. But I love you anyway."
He walked towards the exit, caressing your hand while he did.
You quickly leaned that Andrew was not going to tolerate any sort of social interaction with other men, and if you broke this rule, he'd be very, very disappointed in you. Simple as that.
Rule No. 2 : Where you're going, what you're doing, who you're with, and why is all of Andy's business.
A year into your relationship, you decided to take a spontaneous girls trip with your friends to a different state.
You'd only be gone for a couple of days, and since Andrew was always busy working, you figured that he wouldn't mind.
Thinking this, you texted Andrew.
Andy
I'm sorry I haven't texted you. How was your day? **
You
It was good! I'm actually packing right now for a trip. **
Andy
.... **
Andy
What trip? **
You
A girls' trip. I figured since you're busy all the time, I could take this weekend to vacation! **
Andy
.... Where will you be going? **
You
My friends cabin**
Andy
Who will you be going with?**
You
My friends? **
Andy
Whose Cabin? Which friends? Whats their number? How can I contact them? How many nights are you staying? What's the wi-fi situation like? How far away, is it? What's the exact location? Who knows about this trip? When will you be coming back? Will there be any men there? Is it just girls? Will you be changing in front of them? Will you be sleeping separately? Whose car are you taking? How will you get there? By what transportation? Do your friends have boyfriends? Are there any wild animals?**
You
I... Andrew, how could I answer all these questions? I dont... I dont know.**
Andy
Then you shouldn't be going. **
Andy
It's in a location I've never been to nor seen before. So many things can happen to you, my dummy bunny. It may be a cabin, but I know you can't handle being alone for so long. Save me the trouble, Y/N, you're not going. **
Andy
I'm only looking out for you. You're the love of my life. How could i possibly live with myself if something happened to you? Y/N, you're the air that I breathe, the food i consume, the blood i need to pump my heart. Are you trying to run away from me? **
You
No! Andy I swear I'm not! I won't go if it makes you uncomfortable. I just thought... **
Andy
You don't think many things through, dummy. You're such a headache sometimes. **
Andy
So, what's for dinner? I'm hungry. *
Rule No. 3 : You belong to Andy, and only Andy.
"Hey Andy! Guess what I found?!" You walked up to Andy who was lounging on the coach watching some shitty news.
"What's that, Y/N?" He lazily turned his head towards you.
In your hand was an old photograph of you and an old prom date, taken long before you ever met Andrew.
You were cleaning your bedroom and found a couple of old boxes underneath your bed. Once of which, held many old memories of your youth.
"It's all the prom pictures my mom took of me! Don't I look cute?" You leaned your upper body over the coach back and showed Andy the dusty photos.
You expected a snort, a grin, maybe some mockery for your cheesy dress but instead Andrew tensed up his jaw, his eyes narrowing.
He grabbed the photos from your hand and slowly looked through them.
"You are very pretty, Y/N...." his hand squeezed the photos, to the point of crinkling them.
"Andrew, the photos are being!-"
Suddenly Andrew stood up and quickly crossed the distance between you two, letting the photos be dropped to the floor.
You gasped as Andrew smashed his lips against yours.
He grabbed onto your face, pressing his body into yours.
His lips were warm and slightly chapped, the brief smell of mint and cigarettes overpowering your head.
He broke the kiss, a strange hunger dancing in his eyes as he looked at you.
"You're so beautiful... You're so beautiful being mine, and mine alone. Mine, mine, mine, and mine, until the world comes crashing and burning. " He grinned at you, a dark shadow crossing his face.
"Andrew! I- I know im yours, but the photos are being stepped on-" You tried protesting, but instead, you felt Andrew kiss you again, this time going deeper. His hand squeezed your cheeks, attempting to make your jaw open, in a way asking for entrance.
You couldn't help but open your mouth wider, a victim to the rose colored glasses he always placed on you.
Your eyes closed, while Andrews' opened.
He stared at you with a strange intensity.
You, of course, could never hear his thoughts, but if his words were spoken outloud he would scream how much he wanted to rip that prom date to shreds.
Watch him bleed out of your hardwood floors until it stained from that fuckers punishment.
You belonged to HIM.
You were HIS.
And darling, he would go to heaven and drag you back to hell with him if he had to.
He broke the kiss and squeezed you into a hug,
"Promise you wont ever leave me, okay?" Andrew rested his head on your shoulder. You breathed heavily, wiping the saliva from your chin.
You nodded in a daze, the ache between your legs overpowering any kind of hesitancy you had.
Andrew smiled into your neck, reaching his hands under your ass to prop you up around his waist.
"Come on... I want to continue this in the bedroom. I want to see more of you..." He said in just above a whisper.
"Only you..."
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Thank you for the ask (and patience)!<3
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spookysteddie · 3 months
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Studio Sessions
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18+ MINORS DNI
Modern!rockstar!Eddie x influencer!fem!reader
Series masterlist here
cw: voice recording during sex, reader gets insecure, studio times, fluff, flirting, pet names, oral (fem! receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, dirty talk, reader gets what she wants.
wc: 3.6k
a/n: this got away from me... I hope you all enjoy it! Feel free to send in requests for these two if you have them!! ALSO: this is the last post for them I'll have with a tag list... it's so much work and not that I dont love y'all ( I do) it's just hard. I hope y'all still love me and understand ❤️.
...
Is it normal to miss someone you just met? 
Is it normal to go on a few dates, sleep over their house like every night and still miss them immensely when they're gone? 
You and Eddie have spent every moment together since that first real date. Has he asked you to be his girlfriend yet? No. But you really don’t like to think too far into that one because then you’ll spiral, which is no good for anyone.
It didn’t matter too much. You knew it didn’t matter and you knew that he wasn’t fucking anyone else because he was either in your bed at night, or you were in his. I mean he could be fucking other people during the day, but you doubted it. 
Back to the missing him part. It feels weird to miss someone who is a few feet in front of you, who you can literally see. But here you are, Eddie standing on the other side of some glass gathering things, and you miss him. You can’t help your thoughts from wandering back to if he feels the same way. But also, why would he? Men don’t act like that, right?  
“Sweetheart, you ready?” Eddie's voice cuts through the fog of uncertainty. 
You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. You were in the studio with Corroded Coffin, getting to watch their recording process. Eddie is right, there is something missing from a few of those songs, but you’re unsure if your voice is what is missing. You’re willing to try, though, still honored every agreed to this.
Eddie sets you up, putting headphones on you so you can hear the music. “Okay, sweet angel, don’t get too close to the mic because it can cause the sound to get a little weird. Got it?” 
“I got it.” You grin up at him. He kisses you sweetly, your body growing hot. 
He leaves, going to stand outside the booth with the rest of the band and his producer. He gives you a thumbs up, smile lighting up his face. He’s been more than excited that you agreed to do this. 
You hear a count before the music starts, you quickly look down at the lyrics sheet in front of you. When you get the cue you start, turning on the most bedroom voice you can manage, eyes locking with Eddie’s as you speak. “Mine, be mine. Love me. Never let me go.” 
You smirk at him as he squirms, his friends hitting his arm. You aren’t sure why it makes you happy to watch him squirm but it does. You let out a laugh, real and loud, instead of saying your next lines. 
The producer perks up, cutting off the music, “oh my god, that was amazing! I need more of those.” 
You feel your face get warm, a small and shy giggle leaving your chest. You don’t hear Eddie enter the room, but you can feel him. His energy calling to yours. You hum, not caring that they’re still recording you. 
He pulls your headphones off, “great job, sweetheart.” 
“Thank you, baby.” You lean in kissing his lips. It’s quick, just enough to get a taste of him. “This is a lot of fun. I like this!” 
“You sounded very beautiful.” 
You giggle, looking up at him grinning, “I was just talking.” 
He kisses your forehead and whispers to you, “no. You were using that voice you use when you’re desperate for me to fuck you.” 
You freeze, looking up at him. He’s looking at you with that sexy smirk on his face, making your stomach flip and clit pulse. God, he’s so hot when he’s doing absolutely nothing, dressed in black sweatpants and a sweatshirt, dressing comfortably for the long day in the studio. You could kiss him, right now. 
No, scratch that, you could fuck him right now. You would if there weren’t six other people looking at you. 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you whisper, winking up at him. 
He kisses you quickly, leaving you wanting more as he pulls away. “Ready for the next one?” 
… 
You’ve been here for 8 hours. 
Between adding little snippets of your voice, the band recording the rest of their songs, adding background vocals and putting in instruments, it takes a while. And you are tired. So tired in fact that during their last two songs, you fell asleep on the little couch in the studio. 
You know this because you’re woken up by a soft voice and a hand brushing your hair out of your face. 
“Sweet angel? Hey, baby.” You know it’s Eddie's voice based on the softness and sweetness he reserves only for you. 
You stretch, groaning just a little as your joints crack, “m’sorry for falling asleep. Didn’t mean to.” Your voice sounds small and a little crocky with sleep. You cover your mouth as a small yawn slips out, “s’cuse me. I’m sorry.” 
He laughs, kissing your free hand, “don’t apologize. We had a long night and early morning. Could’ve gone back to my place and slept?”
You shake your head, “mm-mm. Gotta be supportive. It sounds great and your fans will love it.” 
His grins widens, lips meeting your knuckles. He looks tired too and you sort of regret keeping him up most of the night. Well, actually, it was a mutual thing. You’d tried getting him to go to bed but he just ‘couldn’t get enough’ and then when you tried again, while he was still inside you and growing soft, but the second he shifted, you were pushing him on his back and riding him. See, mutual. 
“I’m glad you think it’s great, sweet girl. But you won’t upset me if you go home.” 
Home. The word clangs through you and makes your head spin. It shouldn’t because he definitely didn’t mean anything behind it. It was his home so of course he’s called it just ‘home’ and you are for sure overthinking it. 
You shake your head, both to clear it and to answer him, “no. I can wait. How much longer?” 
“Like another fifteen minutes? I just need to listen to that last take and the boys need to add some background stuff. Then we can go.” His thumb is rubbing along your knuckles, his touch soft even if his hands are calloused. 
“I’ll wait.” 
And you do, this time staying awake. You post some instagram stories, making extra sure to mute it so you don’t spill a single note. Everyone loves the little insights to your time with Eddie, his fans enjoying seeing a different side to him. Of course, your parents still aren’t happy. 
You haven’t spoken to them since that phone call. You don’t need their opinions and Eddie has yet to be a bad person when it came to you. 
In fact, he’s good at planning dates and making sure no one follows. Blocking the paparazzi from getting unflattering photos of you. Sending you with security if needed. He cares. He cares more than anyone else ever has. 
It feels nice to date someone who doesn’t see you as a ticket to their fifteen minutes of fame. Who didn’t look at you as a way to further their own career. Sure, Eddie was more famous than you were, something the press loves to point out. But in some way you were on the same level. It was more than refreshing. 
“Ready?” 
You look up at his brown eyes and nod, letting him take your hand to help you up, your coat already in his hands. 
Once you both are ready to brave the slightly chilly weather, he takes your hand and leads you out. “There’s going to be people out here okay? Just so you're prepared.” 
You grin, looking over at him, “I am prepared, Eddie. I know the cost of dat- um, being seen with you.” 
If he catches your almost slip up, he doesn’t say anything. He just smirks, squeezing your hand as he opens the doors to the outside. Cameras flash and people scream, you’re practically blinded by the flashing bulbs. It doesn’t last long though, Eddie helping you into the car before getting in himself and closing the door, the sounds of screams muffled slightly.
“God, I love them but the screaming kills my ears,” he presses his finger to his ear, blocking it slightly before releasing it. 
You giggle, raising a brow, “aren’t you used to it? You hardly wear your ears on stage.” 
It was true. Eddie had this habit of taking out the ears he wears on stage, usually used to help keep beat as most artists can’t hear the music coming from the speakers. 
He shrugs, “ya aren’t wrong but I feel like I’m far enough away that the sound doesn’t hurt that bad? I really should keep my ears in so I don’t like lose my hearin’ before I’m 32.”
“Should hear it from the crowd,” you tilt your head slightly. “I had to get little ear plugs after the first time I saw you guys live. My ears rang for a few days after and I was yelling cause I couldn’t hear.” 
His eyes get wide, “that sounds awful. I should get ya some custom ears so you can hear what we’re doing on stage.” 
That makes your heart flutter a little, the fact that he wants you to hear all they do. “I don’t think I could deal with the metronome ticking.” He looks at you, “how do you know that happens?” 
You playfully roll your eyes, scrolling through your phone till you find a post you liked a little bit ago. “This. It’s a video of what Taylor Swift’s sound like inside. It was very interesting.” 
He watches it, three times actually. And then he giggles and scrolls, some familiar music starts to play and you already know what he’s looking at. Your face flames as you move to take your phone back. Unfortunately, he’s faster, moving so you can’t grab it from where you sit. 
He scrolls again, “you like these edits of me?” His tone is teasing and you feel like you’re going to die. He was never supposed to know you like thrist traps of him, most of them to his own songs. 
“E-Eddie give it back,” you plead with him. 
But he shakes his head, scrolling again and again and again. “These edits are actually really good. M’impressed. I also think it’s cute you like them.”  
You finally reach your phone, tugging it from his hands, “it’s rude to go through someone's phone, Eddie.” 
He fake pouts, “awww, are you embarrassed baby?” 
You don’t say anything as he coos at you because you are embarrassed that he saw those. But fuck, he looked so fucking hot in those edits. They make you feel things deep inside you, things you’ve used your vibrator to take care of. 
He leans forward, his hand reaching out and cupping your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed, baby. I think it’s kind of hot you have those liked.” 
He pulls you closer, his lips meeting yours in a sweet, soft kiss. That feeling comes back, the one with a voice that questions why he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. It’s been some time and you spend a lot of it together. You don’t want to push him, to make him look at you as needy or too much or annoying. That’s the last thing you want. You’ve heard it enough, from boyfriends, from your parents, from the people in your comment section. And the last thing you wanted was to hear it from Eddie. 
He breaks the kiss, his eyes scanning your face. Fuck he knows. 
“Are you okay?” He asks you with worry in his eyes. It kind of makes your chest hurt to worry him. 
“Oh yeah! I’m fine. Just… tired.” 
But, of course, he sees right through it, “no. You’re in your head. Come on… spill it.” 
You can’t. You want to express to him how you feel, to ask him to not waste your time. If he isn’t interested in you then you need him to tell you that so you can move on. But you know he is interested, you just sat and recorded bits for their album for fucks sake! He calls you sweet names and listens to what you have to say. He fucks you in a way you’ve never been before. He’s in tune to you and your needs, so the idea he doesn’t want you is absurd. 
But… “nothing. I just have that photo shoot coming up and I’m just nervous. It could make or break my career.” 
Half truth. You were nervous about the campaign. It could make or break your career if you didn’t do a good job or if people didn’t like it. 
He looks like he doesn’t believe you but he doesn’t push you further. You wish he would. 
… 
Eddie’s lips kiss along your chest, nipping a sucking sweet marks into the skin there. Marking you. Owning you. His hand moving up to tease your breast while his mouth sucks on the neglected one. 
His phone is set up beside you, the little red dot indicating he’s recording. It definitely catches the gasp you make as he works your chest, but he just feels so good you don’t think about it. 
He asked you six times before hitting record if you were okay with this, him voice recording. And you were, truly. He wanted your moans for his music but wanted some variety in there. So, he’s recording the entire round of sex. You’d be a dirty little liar if you said it didn’t turn you on. The idea that he’ll have this on his phone and in his music. Your moans immortalized on tape? It was hot as fuck. 
Eddie swaps sides, eyes meeting yours as he licks and sucks and bites. It hits you right at your center. He was hot as fuck, actually. Looking slightly feral as he kisses down your body. You can’t take your eyes off of his when he settles between your legs, putting them over his shoulders to give him more room. 
 “God you’re so wet for me, sweetheart,” he runs a finger through your slick, making you moan. “So pretty. Was so hot watchin’ you today.” 
“But I-” he licks up your slit, cutting you off what you were about to say. 
He sucks on your clit, making your back arch. It was insane to you how well he knew your body. He’s learned every dip, every curve of your skin. He’s learned exactly how to drag deep moans from you with his mouth, tongue and cock. Memorized them. He did it quickly too. 
“B-but I didn’t really do anything.” He slips two fingers inside you, stretching you out. “God! Fuck that feels good.” 
He doesn’t say anything, just laughs and curls his fingers. Eddie knows exactly what he’s doing, turning your brain off with every thrust of his fingers.
“J-just like that, baby! Oh god, don’t stop.” You can feel the orgasm building deep in your belly, your whole body growing hot as you squeeze his fingers. “M-more. Eddie, I need more.” 
He adds a finger, the burn from the stretch feeling incredible. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh my god.” You don’t even know what you’re saying, just a babbling mess. This was typical when it came to the way Eddie worked your body. He’s the only one who’s worked you like this. 
Your orgasm hits you, mouth dropping open as your back arches on the bed, “Fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck!” 
You ride it out with Eddie’s help, his fingers slowing and his mouth coming off your clit with a soft pop. And when he finally removes his fingers, sucking them between his lips and moaning, you feel empty. You need him to fuck you, to feel him inside you. 
“Taste so fuckin’ sweet, baby. Just can’t get enough,” his voice drops a few octaves and you swear your heart stutters for a moment. 
“Please…” you whine. 
It hits you then that he is fully clothed and you are as naked as the day you were born. The dynamic is hotter than it should be, you might need to talk to your therapist about that. Or not. That’s an issue for another day. 
He pulls off his shirt, stomach flexing with the movement, “please what, angel?” 
His hands pull at his belt, tugging it through the loops before meeting the same fate as his shirt on the floor. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth and you forget the English language for a moment. He pops the button on his jeans, sliding the zipper down as he waits for your answer. 
You manage to find it, “please fuck me. I-I need it.” 
He slides his jeans and boxers down his legs, his hard cock bobbing free. You squirm, licking your lips while your eyes rake over him. You need him, need him in many more ways than just sexually. You need him as yours, need him to love you. You can see the life you’d have if he called you his. Your babies would be beautiful thats for fucking sure. 
You don’t really have time to think further on it because Eddie slides inside you, his lips meeting yours and swallowing your moans. He tastes like you, cigarettes and weed. An odd mix but you love it anyway. 
“Shit, pretty girl. This pussy feels amazing. S’like you were fuckin’ made for me.” 
Your heart pounds and you know he can feel it, you can feel his. “I-I was. I was m-made for you, Eddie. Made for you” You kind of don’t mean for it to come out, but it can easily be brushed off as heat of the moment dirty talk. 
But there is something in the way he’s fucking you right now, something different. It’s slower than it has been, sweeter. Like he wants to take his time here, like he wants to feel every inch of you. His eyes shine with lust and something else, something he blinks away before you can decipher it. You have a feeling you already know what it is, because you feel the same way. 
“Yeah? You think so?” He lets you wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close. “Think we were supposed to end up here?” 
You’re going to die if he keeps talking like this. He’s actually going to kill you. More so because you do believe in the invisible string theory. Everyone can say you’re going too fast, but you think your string is attached to him. Everything about him screams it in confirmation.
“Y-yes. I do.” 
He kisses you soft and sweet, adjusting slightly to hit that sweet spot inside you. You gasp into his mouth, hands coming up to his cheeks to hold him there while you kiss him. Again, it’s all slow and sweet and filled with emotion. 
“Glad we’re on the same page, baby.” 
He fucks you just a little faster, hitting all your sweet spots and making the coil in your belly twist tighter. “I- oh my god, Eddie.” 
He laughs, not straying from your lips, “I love when you pray to me.” 
Your orgasm takes you by surprise, a deep moan falling from your lips as your velvet walls squeeze him. It makes your head spin and you kind of feel like you’re going to pass out from how good it feels. You don’t, of course. 
“That’s it, baby. Such a good girl coming for me. My pretty angel.” 
“Y-yours.” 
He nods, “mine.” 
Mine
Mine
Mine
Mine 
The word cycles through your head over and over, making you clench harder around him.
“Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. Fuck fuck FUCK!” 
He spills inside you as he moans your name. It’s angelic when he does it and you’re gonna make him send the recording to you immediately so you can hear it again and again. He collapses on you, being careful to not crush you with his weight. 
“I s-swear on my life, you’re the best I’ve ever had.” 
You giggle, shaking your head, “i bet you say that to every girl you fuck.” 
He lifts his head, his face serious, “no. I don’t. You’re the first person I’ve ever said that to.” 
You just stare at him, not knowing what to say.
“Did you mean what you said? About us being made for each other?” He asks it quietly, like he’s afraid of anyone hearing him. Anyone but you. 
You swallow the lump in your throat. You can do this, tell him how you feel. Right? “I-I did. We fit together so well. Don't ya think?” 
Now it’s his turn to swallow, “I do… I meant it too.” 
You aren’t sure where this is going, but you hope to whoever the fuck is listening that it’ll go your way. 
“You did? You haven’t known me that long.” 
He shrugs, “so? You spend every night here, or me at your place. You get to know someone pretty quickly that way.” He laughs a little, pushing some of your hair out of your face.
Ask me 
Ask me 
Ask me
“I would agree,” you say as you run your fingertips up his arm.
“Would you agree to stay forever if I asked you to?” 
You hold your breath and nod. He gives you a look that makes you squeak out a small “yes.” 
A huge grin breaks out across his face, bright white teeth showing, “then stay. With me and be mine. And I’ll be yours. No more wandering around lookin’ for each other.” 
You blink away the burn behind your eyes, you cannot cry at someone asking you to date them, “n-no more wandering.”
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Saturn the father you always wanted and always have. Saturn in da houses, and why your life sucks. Im blunt here so don't complain don't read if you can't handle the reality of saturn. Saturn in the first house - okay you don't like to try when you present yourself, you think people should just instantly respect you because youve been through many trials in life... well people usually dont know how to talk to you because you have a stick up your ass. Saturn in the second house - everyones greedy, but when you are, its not cool. Well it isn't because when you are greedy you act like a goblin. be more mature its okay to be greedy but your acting like its a virtue stfu. Saturn in the third house - everyone thinks your dumb af, and you are only because you lack confidence to drive your points home. you just need to learn how to communicate better, your not dumb but you act like a dumbass. Saturn in the fourth house - sad boy/girl now everyone knows you had a rough childhood but would you grow up already, everyone else has but your still stuck being sad about how life has treated you (or your momma/dadda) grow up your not getting any younger you can't change the past stop wallowing. the past has taught you well, use it to your advantage or let it hold you back. Saturn in the fifth house - pretend players who get played everytime. Always gotta pretend like they are fun but whenever you do try to have fun with them they are annoying. yes you could be fun in the bedroom simply because everyone knows your too sensitive to break someones heart... because your heart is the most broken. Saturn in the sixth house - the real try hards always putting in 100%. suck ups to there boss or whoever is above them. but when there authority disrespects them they go rogue and try even harder just to spit in there boss's face. i respect it because i got cap here Saturn in the seventh house - if your a bad person good luck in this life, because your karma is received ten fold by your partners, they always like to complete your karmic cycle because thats just how it works idk. so better act right or your partner will ruin it before you ruin yourself.
Saturn in the eighth house - will do anything to get to the top. no pain is too painful. well it all is, but the ends justify the means. when they put there foot down the whole room shakes. so when your making a move make sure its the right one because your power plays are on display for everyone and itll make or break you more than the other placements. Saturn in the ninth house - lazy asses, always looking for an easy way out. they know what the right thing to do is, but the likelihood of them doing it is never. its because saturn restricts there luck/ mind and they just have woe is me energy and its annoying make better choices, and if you dont stop crying about it. but if they act right saturn blesses them the fuck up. Saturn in the tenth house - okay these people think they are better than everyone and deserve everything, but they never receive the applause they crave. its never enough even if the whole room is looking at them they suddenly don't want it anymore. there karma everyone can see, and if its too good it feels like a curse, and when its bad and reality comes crashing down they just want to hide but they cant. own your life or it will own you. Saturn in the eleventh - there community will give them there karma, always these people dont have a place where they feel safe. because they never make anyone feel safe around them, then cry when no-one gives them that favour. stfu and treat us better and maybe we will do you better. Saturn in the twelfth - okay apparently this is where saturn is in its joy, and i guess its because god/ spirits judge you. and i guess thats a good thing because if anyone should judge you its him. except the pain here is you have ultimate freedom, you rarely get signs on what to do. will you make the right choice or the wrong once? well they are lucky because they always get there karma quickly so they can always recover fast. but these people struggle to empathise because they don't feel the energy of the room. sooooo just grow up you got the best saturn, and your karma resides is in your empathy. disclaimer - saturn wants you to be the best. and no one is.... so i like to think if you want a sense of direction (where are you going wrong) look at the saturn house and if you are successful congrats your doing saturn right. but be careful he always thinks you can do better, and he loves to humble you. so be-careful out there.
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teamatsumu · 5 months
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services. (fushiguro toji x reader)
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summary: With how hectic your life is, you have no room for relationships. But you still have needs, and so you decide to pay to have those needs met.
word count: 4372
warnings: fem!reader, escort!toji, porn with minimal plot, smut, unprotected sex, oral (fem!receiving), fingering, daddy kink, choking, biting, this is so self indulgent pls dont judge me.
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A million guesses in the world and you never would have predicted that you would be spending your Saturday night like this.
The only sound in your living room was the tick, tick, tick of the wall clock, as well as your occasional fidgeting. Your jeans rustled from where your leg was bouncing, an outlet for your nervous energy. You played with the sleeves of your sweater, rocking back and forth just slightly. You couldn’t decide what you wanted to blame this jittery feeling on, your anxiety or the cold. You wanted to go with the latter but you knew that what you were doing right now meant it had to be the former.
Who else would be waiting for a fucking escort to come to their house?
You looked at the clock again and rolled your eyes at your own antics. It was still ten more minutes before he was supposed to get here. Why were you already so clammy and shaky? This was pathetic. Well, getting an escort was pretty pathetic in itself, but this had to be a new low.
Honestly, you hadn’t expected yourself to be in this position. When a coworker had been venting about how your grueling profession and long working hours left no room for having a personal life, you had enthusiastically agreed. It was something you had been struggling with for years. It was the reason your last boyfriend had broken up with you, saying your job was way too time consuming and he felt ignored. He hadn’t been wrong. You were working more hours than anyone else you knew. And while you loved your job and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world, you knew it meant sacrificing relationships. Sacrificing love and intimacy and even the simple act of a physical touch.
At this point you were so touch starved it hurt.
Your coworker had then recommended this escort service, saying that it had literally saved her life. An over exaggeration on her part, you were sure, but when you had looked at their website and seen how systematic and professional everything was, you really were taken by surprise. The website was clean and organized, and it took everything into consideration. Hell, they even had you fill out a consent form that was almost six pages long, and it had every kink and sexual option known to mankind. The website claimed that the service had a sophisticated algorithm to make sure it matched every client with an escort best suited for their sexual needs, and it encouraged you to be completely honest when filling the form.
Your face had burned as you read through the form, but you thought long and hard about every option you ticked yes or no on. You were lost, truly, because you had a lot of fantasies in your head but many were ones you had never tried before, even with previous partners. It made you hesitate, and you wondered if these were things you wanted to try for the first time with a complete stranger.
“Oh, trust me, you do.” Mei Mei, your coworker, had responded when you talked to her about your woes. She swung her leg and she took a swig of her coffee, leaning back and giving you a teasing smirk. “When I say these men know what they are doing, they know what they are doing. I would argue this is the best option if you wanna be adventurous in the sheets. Because no matter how you respond, the guy will know how to handle it.”
So after many days of ruminating and carefully curating your form, choosing yes on every option you wanted to try, you had taken a deep breath and submitted it. You felt instant regret as soon as you clicked send, wondering what the fuck you were doing. You were a successful career woman, and here you were, hiring a man to come fuck you in sinful ways. God, what had you come to? If your ex could see you now….
Over the next few days, you went through the payment process and finalizing a time slot for yourself. You talked on the phone to a very nice sounding middle aged lady who had the perfect customer service voice, who told you all the details you needed to know, how many hours your were getting, sending you a number where you could contact the agency afterwards, and a whole bunch of other stuff, finally ending it by letting you know the name of the man they had matched you up with.
Fushiguro Toji.
You gulped as you wrote the name down on the paper you were noting everything else on, tuning out her next words for a bit as you stared down at it. So this was the man you were going to have sex with. Was this okay? Or had you completely lost your mind and your self respect officially?
When you finally hung up, you mulled over the option of just canceling. But the thought only annoyed you. Come on, Y/N, what’s the big deal? The lady on the phone said they were a large, country wide agency who had thousands of clients. So they’re probably doing something right. And who cares? You’re a hardworking woman, and you still have needs. You’re just fulfilling a need you have. That’s it.
Pull yourself together.
And so here you were, on a cold Saturday evening, waiting for this Fushiguro Toji to show up at your door. You nearly jumped out of your skin when the doorbell rang, just two minutes before the agreed time. You stood up quickly, swaying a bit because of how shaky your legs felt, before taking a deep breath and walking to the door. You put your eye up to the peephole, cursing when you saw only chest and shoulders, unable to get a glimpse of his face. You were so panicked that you didn’t even register that this meant he was extremely tall. You only clocked in that fact when you finally opened the door.
It was the first thing you noticed. Just how massive he was. Even though his loose sweatshirt hid most of him, there was no questioning how broad his shoulders were, or how he stood so tall that you nearly dwarfed in comparison. You felt your heart skip, swooning. 10/10 for the escort agency on the size kink option. This man was huge.
He had jet black hair, spiky but tamed, and it looked soft as hell. He looked down at you with a little smirk, and your eye caught the scar on the corner of his mouth. It somehow added to how sexy he was, and you swallowed hard. Yup, this guy was a walking wet dream.
You wanted to slam the door in his face.
He said your name questioningly, and you nodded to confirm your identity. Out of instinct, you said his name back, making him nod and his lip curl up just a bit more. You nearly shivered when his eyes quickly mapped over your figure. For a brief second, you wished you had dressed up a bit more than just your jeans and a sweater, but you doubted you could still look half as good as he did.
“C-come in.” You choked out, stepping aside to let him in. He lumbered inside, movements almost slow and lazy, but still smooth. Your breath hitched when his cologne flooded your senses. Fuck. He also smelled great.
Your hesitation only increased, but you shook your head. He’s probably been with a ton of women. His whole job is to look good and be good in bed. Of course he was attractive. The agency had promised that all their workers were physically good looking. You just hadn’t guessed they would be sex on legs.
By the time you closed the door, locked it and trudged into the living room, Toji was standing in the center of it, looking around with slow movements of his eyes. His hands were buried in the pockets of his jeans, and he was biting the inside of his cheek. He turned to look at you once you were in view again, and you watched him give you another once over. You tugged on your sleeves again, fueling your nervous habit. You heard him snort.
“My boss was right. You’ve never done this before.”
You blinked, not expecting him to say that, or have such a rough tone. It almost offended you, like he thought you were some loser. When he saw your scowl, he immediately raised his hands with a chuckle.
“Don’t mean it in a bad way, sweetheart. It’s kinda cute. Just took me off guard, considering the shit you ticked off on your form.”
Now that made you flush and fidget. The knowledge that this stranger knew everything you wanted in the bedroom was a little unnerving, and pairing that with how heated his gaze suddenly got, and you felt your core stir.
“Would you like some tea?” You blurted out, at a loss for what else to say. He raised his eyebrow in response, making you cringe.
“Or coffee.” You added weekly. “Or we could uh…. just start. Um, go to the bedroom? I don’t-” Your face was so hot, you wanted to cry. Finally, you sighed and gave up, feeling your shoulders slump. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
This made Toji let out a hearty cackle, walking to your couch and dropping heavily on it. He patted the spot next to him, which you promptly took, unable to meet his eyes any longer. You convinced yourself that you couldn’t have done this worse, so there was no way to go but up since you had already hit rock bottom.
“Why’d ya get an escort service?” Toji asked, snapping you from your thoughts. You looked at him and saw genuine curiosity in his eyes, under the bored veneer that stretched over his face. You shrugged.
“I work too much. I wanted stress relief. My coworker said your agency was good. Now I’m kinda regretting it.” You explained concisely.
The tiniest of smirks took residence on Toji’s face at your last words, his body turned towards you. He hooked his arm over the back of the couch, resting his head on his balled up fist as he stared at you. “You won’t regret it by the time I’m done with you, sweetheart.”
Your breath caught at his words, body stiffening. To Toji’s trained eye, your movement was obvious, and it made him chuckle.
“You like that? Well, I can’t be surprised. You’re big on dirty talk, aren’t ya?”
He moved closer as he talked, one hand reaching out until his finger was tracing down your cheekbone, over your jaw, up until he reached your lips. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, and your mouth opened on instinct.
“Wonder what kind of talk ya like more? Praise? You wanna be called a good girl? Or maybe the other kind? Maybe you’re a desperate little slut?”
His voice was rough, the air was charged, and despite the cold, heat flooded your veins. You felt like you could barely breathe, afraid to make any motion that could push Toji away. You felt your core pulse when he leaned forward.
“You familiar with the color system for safewords?”
You nodded almost imperceptibly. He hummed.
“Good.”
And then his lips were meeting yours.
It was slow, lazy, like all of his movements. His lips dragged over yours in an almost sensual way. His hand cupped the back of your head and tilted it to his liking, deepening the kiss more. His tongue teased your lips until you parted them, darting inside to slide it over yours. Your eyes rolled shut, shivers running over your spine, hands reaching up instinctively to curl into the material of his sweatshirt. He facilitated every move your mouth made, as if egging you to keep going, and you responded in kind, arching closer to him, pressing harder on his lips, even licking into his mouth a bit, albeit shyly. You felt his mouth curl as he pulled away, a wet squelch as your lips separated. You whined in protest, not even recognizing your voice, and he chuckled.
“We’ve got all night, sweets. Take it easy.”
His hands maneuvered you until he had you in his lap, and it was your first taste of Toji’s strength. You nearly keened at how easy it was for him to pull you around, and you once again felt your insides clench. Being on top of him made you feel intimately all the hard planes of his torso, and you finally let your hands wander. Toji didn’t stop you, watching your fingers disappear under his sweatshirt and meet his bare skin. You sucked in a sharp breath, tilting your head up to meet his lips again as your hands began their exploration.
Toji hummed, letting you guide the kiss this time, and you realized that he had played his cards very carefully to make sure you would come out of your shell. The thought turned you on even more, and you were absolutely sure that you had completely soaked through your lacy underwear by now. You pawed on his shirt, tugging it a bit.
“Take this off, please.”
Toji bit at your bottom lip. “Please what?”
You felt yourself flush hot, picking up on his implication. Another thing you had mentioned on your form. Your body stiffened but Toji squeezed at your sides, hands slipping under your sweater to rub your skin.
“Say it, baby. And I’ll do what you want.”
His lips were wandering, past your mouth, over your jaw and down your neck until his teeth were nibbling on the skin under your ear. Your eyes rolled up, subconsciously grinding down on his lap.
“Please,” you gasp when he sucked hard, likely leaving a hickey. “Please, daddy.”
Toji groaned, the first noise he had made all night, and it shot straight to your pussy. He reached behind him to tug his sweatshirt off, exposing him in all his muscled glory. Your mouth watered at the sight, hands running over him freely. You couldn’t believe you had this man under you, letting you grope and feel him up like this, looking up at you with eyes so predatory it nearly set off alarms in your head. Your touch was getting more and more firm as you continued touching him, his hands pushing down on your hips to encourage the way you were grinding on him. You felt his erection rub right between your legs, where you wanted him most, and you bit your lip in response. He felt big. Definitely the biggest you had ever had. You didn’t even have to look at it to know it would be a tight fit, and the thought of it made excitement zip through you. Your initial nervousness was dissipating, and all your repressed urges were now floating freely in your head.
You needed him to ruin you.
The thought made your movements more frantic, tugging and pulling at Toji, moaning into his lips when his hands wandered under your sweater and groped harshly at your breasts. God, when was the last time a man had touched you like this? You were so wet it made your whole body arch, pulsing with need.
“Daddy. Want- want you.” You whimpered in his ear, feeling his intake of breath at your words. Toji tugged your sweater off, pushing you back so he could take you in. You knew you already looked like a mess, and the thought made your face heat up. Toji smirked at you, stretching the little scar on the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, you leaned forward, licking at the healed over skin. His grip on your hips got impossibly tighter, and you knew it would leave bruises. He stood up, making you quickly wrap your legs around his waist, before walking towards your bedroom, which you pointed out. His lips never left your neck, nipping at any part he could reach, licking over you. You wondered if Toji had a thing for biting.
He was indulging everything you wanted, but a part of you wanted to indulge him too.
He tugged off your jeans and panties as soon as he had you lying on the bed, leaving you in only your bra. Your shyness seemed to have melted away at this point, your brain so foggy with need that you couldn’t think of anything except having him on top of you. Toji was quick to discard his own jeans, leaving him in his boxers, which were straining against the daunting bulge of his cock. You licked your lips at the sight, and the action didn’t go unnoticed by the man, who gave you a grin.
“You want my dick?”
You nodded eagerly, spreading your legs on instinct when he draped himself over you, slotting himself in the space you created. He hummed and licked his lips, eyes wandering over your figure. You felt yourself clench again at the heat behind his eyes.
“Let me get a taste of you first, sweetheart. Then you can have me.”
And then he lowered himself until his face was level with your bare pussy, breath fanning over it in a way that made your eyes flutter. You shouldn’t be shocked at how brazen he was, since this was his job, but it still surprised you. Your thoughts quickly melted away though, when he licked a fat stripe from the bottom to the top of your slit, parting your lips until he could lick at you unencumbered, swiping his tongue over your heat over and over.
You gasped and arched into him, feeling shivers run down your spread legs. Fuck, he was good. Of course he was good. His movements were purposeful, like he had done this a million times before (which he probably had). His tongue seemed to know every little nook and cranny that needed attention, gliding over your cunt until he circled your hole, sinking into the opening. You cried out when the tip hit your walls just right, enough stimulation to feel good but not nearly enough to satisfy. His lips and tongue left you breathless and wanting more. His massive hands held your thighs apart, teeth nibbling at your clit slightly until you were whining under him.
“Fuck. Toji.” Your voice already sounded so wrecked.
When his finger tip prodded at your entrance, you barely had time to process before he was sinking in, knuckle-deep. You cried out at the intrusion, eyes rolling when he curled it and seemed to immediately find your spot. You felt his lips twist up into a smirk when you cursed, knowing he had you.
His movements were merciless, one finger becoming two and pumping in and out of you so fast you were sure he would rip you apart. No matter how hard you clenched, his fingers were undeterred, as if he was adamant on ruining your cunt. You could hear the squelching of your juices, the sound filthy and so sexy it put you right on the edge. Toji seemed to notice. His dark eyes burned into yours, mouth lifting from your clit to let his fingers do all the work while he watched your writhe under his touch.
“You gonna cum, babygirl? Gonna soak my fucking hand? C’mon, baby. Wanna feel this pussy drench me. C’mon. Cum.”
His voice was so rough, adding to the sensations until you felt dizzy, muscles snapping stiff as you came all over his fingers. The noises grew even wetter, your juices flowing past his knuckles and down to his wrist. He hummed his approval, the sound set deep in his chest, eyes zoned in on your fluttering lips. When he pulled out, you let out a long, deep sigh. Your legs were trembling as Toji made his way up to you, licking up your neck before nipping at your earlobe.
“You got such a perfect cunt, baby.” He moaned into your ear, hips grinding down and pressing his clothed cock against you. “Perfect little pussy, fuck. You tellin’ me you haven’t been feedin’ her with cock on a daily basis? Because that’s what she deserves. To be stuffed full with a big dick every night. Soppy little filthy pussy like that needs loving daily.”
You keened at Toji’s words, your breath catching at how lewd he was being. He hooked a thumb into his boxers and tugged them down until his heavy cock sprang free and hit his stomach, tip flushed an angry maroon shade and leaking precum. Your mouth watered at the sight, not even caring about how big he was or how wide he would stretch you. You whined and wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer.
“Need you, Daddy.” You breathed out.
“You have me, little girl.” He cooed, almost taunting. His lips were twisted into a wide grin, looking down at you with unbridled lust. You noticed how red the tips of his ears were, flushed down his neck as well. His hair was pushed back haphazardly out of his eyes, and his body was covered by a thin sheen of sweat. His eyes were blown.
When Toji finally sank his cock into you, in one slow stroke, he groaned and cursed loudly, sinking down to his elbows on either side of your head. He let out a long breath, cursing again before a large, rough hand came up and wrapped around your neck, squeezing the sides just a bit. You gasped and arched into him, eyelids fluttering. The light haziness in your head was now intensifying as Toji bullied his cock slowly but surely into your cunt, no matter how much it tried to resist the intrusion.
“Fuck.” His voice broke a little. And somehow, that was better than the orgasm he had just pulled out of you. Knowing you had that kind of effect on this man who had never met you before, that you were reducing him to this just by your body alone, made you feel powerful. You clenched around him on purpose, and his grip on your neck tightened, making you freeze. He looked down at you, his grin almost manic.
“You playin’ games with me, sweetheart? Nasty little slut. I never would’ve thought.”
He pulled out then, until only the tip of his cock was inside you, before surging forward, hips slamming hard into you. You screamed and arched, and Toji didn’t give you a second more, thrusting into you in earnest.
“You forgot I was the boss here, little girl. Me. Say it.”
You could barely choke the words out, having the wind knocked out of you with every brush of his cock on your g-spot.
“Y-you’re-” You screamed at a particularly brutal thrust, legs kicking and twitching. Toji’s grip on your neck tightened, and you could no longer breathe. Your eyes crossed at the feeling.
“Look at you. Can’t even say a word. Such a whore for daddy.”
When he eased his hold, you took in big gulps of air, only a few moments before he tightened his grip again. His movements didn’t slow down for one second, driving his cock into you at a maddening pace.
“I’m gonna-” You didn’t finish. You couldn’t. Because in that moment, your orgasm crashed into you like a freight train, so intense you could barely breathe, even despite Toji loosening the hold he had on your neck. Your vision blackened, stars bursting over it as you writhed and twitched under him. He didn’t stop fucking into you, didn’t even pause. He groaned when you came around his cock, and he kept going.
You realized that this was just the beginning of a very long night.
………………………………..
It was around 4 in the morning when you tapped out. Or rather, Toji finally let you tap out.
You had come so many times you couldn’t count. You had positively lost all feeling in your legs, and every muscle in your body was sore and buzzing. Toji had pulled and twisted you into every position known to man, spanked and slapped you around, choked you, tugged on your hair until your scalp tingled, and had stuffed his cock, fingers and tongue into your abused pussy so many times you felt like you were dying. It was the most you had ever felt, every sensation amplified, crying until tears soaked your cheeks, cumming until you just couldn’t anymore. He quite literally fucked the soul out of you, plain and simple.
Now you were lying on your side on the bed, watching with half lidded, barely open eyes as Toji tugged his clothes back onto his glorious, god-like frame. He had only a few marks. Your teeth marks on his neck and shoulders, and some scratches down his back. Compared to you, bitten and bruised all over, he looked unaffected.
He turned to look at you, smirking when he saw that you were already watching.
“You sure you’re done? Ya have me for two more hours at least.”
You nodded and let out an unflattering snort. “If I had to go one more round you might have to take me to the hospital.”
He let out a laugh at that, walking closer to you. He fished in the pocket of his sweatpants, pulling out a small, rectangular card. You could barely make out his name and number.
“Don’t call the service next time. Call me directly.”
You raised a teasing eyebrow. “You do personal services?”
He shrugged in return, sending you a sleazy wink. “Only for really sweet cunts like yours.”
You groaned and buried your face in the mattress, hearing him laugh loudly before standing up.
“I’ll see myself out.”
You didn’t move until you heard the front door slam, feeling your lips tug up in a smile. You would have to thank Mei Mei profusely for her recommendation. And now you understood that she didn’t exaggerate the effectiveness of this escort service.
This was definitely not the last time you would be seeing Fushiguro Toji.
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ivys-garden · 2 months
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Alright, I'm going to write my own thoughts down on the situation, sorry if this gets rambly
First of all, Shubble is so brave for speaking up, it's really hard for victims to speak up against there abusers in a public setting and she deserves all the respect in the world for it
That being said we do need to be mindful to give her space, this was a really traumatic thing for her and we all need to be mindful of that, give her room to breath.
On the same lines, don't go after other ccs for not ""releasing statements"", content creators aren't companies, there people. Don't get on at them for not publicly supporting Shubble, especially since there undoubtedly doing it in private, which is probably better than shoving it out there for millions of people to see. Let people support there friend in a way they and shubble are confortable with, if shubble wants them to say something or they think they need to say something themselves, they will say it.
It's like Pearl said, just because you don't see something happening publicly doesn't mean it isn't happening
Also, don't jump to call Tommy or Phil or Grian or anyone else enablers because they haven't said anything, they'll need time to process this too, it's hard to find out that your friend is a domestic abuser, let them process this in piece and don't try to cancel them over nothing like a fool. (People like Tommy will need time especially since Wilbur befriended them when they were young and by all accounts manipulated them too)
If anyone of these people have anything they feel they need to say they'll say it when there good and ready, good life tip folks:Don't Harass People. Especially if they have almost nothing to do with this (honestly Saw someone say they were going to go on to fucking RT about this despite him not knowing either person very well, the fuck)
I know why people do it, they want to make sure there favourite content creators aren't also bad, but they are people and they deserve respect, I can garentee you that almost no Qsmp or Hermitcraft or Other MCYT member who knew him stands with Wilbur
(Also if anyone brings Techno into this fuck right off let the man rest.)
Also, some brain dead morons are saying that people calling out wilbur are doing it for clout and that they should have done it sooner, but most of the abuse happened in private, and wilbur manipulated others, many wouldn't have realised anything was wrong and if they did its still better and more respectful to come forward after shubble since its HER story to tell.
(This attack also doesn't work anymore because we have things like tubbos stream, where he actively discourages his chat from treating him like a hero for speaking out, but yeah sure they all don't give a shit about shubble and just want to make themselves look better, fuck outta here)
Now, if your a former wilbur fan, let me make this super clear
DONT WATCH HIM AND DONT LISTEN TO HIS MUSIC
"BuT SePuRaTe ThE ArT FrOm ThE Arti-
Nah. That doesn't work here. You can separate a book or game or movie, you can't with a cc. Its there face, there voice, there personality. Find a different band, find a different CC to watch. There are other options, I know it sucks to find out someone you like did an awful thing,but that doesn't mean we should support those people for our sakes, especially when people were actively hurt by there actions. Trust me everyone, this will get better, things will go back to how they were before
Finally, this should go without saying, Fuck William Gold to the core of teh fucking earth. And any who still support him.
He is a raging egotistical manipulator and abuser. don't blame people for not seeing it sooner, no one can do that. What we can do though is blame people who still wholeheartedly support him and his actions.
He has not "changed" nor will he ever at the rate at which he's going. He's still a egomaniac who's more concerned with saving his image than actually apologising for his actions, even then an apology wouldn't fix all he's done,it would just be closer and a jumping off point to be better, but he can't even fucking do that.
If wilbur does reflect and grow, good on him, but if he doesn't then I can say with absolute certainty we wouldn't fucking miss him.
Fuck Wilbur. Support Shelbym
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simp4konig · 8 months
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König jealous of your dog headcannons
Gender-neutral Reader
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Word count: Definitely more than 2😎 🗿Honest to God i have no idea whay the word count is 🤦🏼‍♀️These were mewnt to be short headcannons yet as PER USUAL i got carried away 🤡🤡not abt to copynpaste every single paragraph individually into a word counter
*Slow burn
*Established relationship with König
*⚠️Google Translate German!!⚠️ (sorry guys ...💔)
*Not requested 😋😋 just something that's been on my mind.
*Pls dont worru about rqs guys!!😨 Writing two of tjem atm but I jus wanted to post this first (so my profile isnt as barren as the Sahara desert🏜️while i work at a pace that is slower than that of a turtle 🐢)! :)
*Also how tf do people make their bullet points look so good??? is it a formatting thing or sum cuz im ACTUALLT crippled 😰😰
...
König really didn't want to be jealous of your dog. He didn't.
He hadn't anticipated he would ever feel that way, especially towards a dog, of all things.
Despite not being the type to be jealous — at least, not from his perspective; he was only looking out for his darling! — his eyes would narrow whenever a soldier would approach you, being far too handsy with a stranger. His partner. It made his blood boil.
Sure, König would always stare down whoever made the mistake of flirting with you or introducing themselves with playful banter while behind you. Clearing his throat, a tense hand was placed gently yet firmly on your shoulder.
"Hör auf, mit meinem Schatz zu reden, sonst breche ich dir das Genick."
Not understanding a word of what he said, they would cower in fear nonetheless, getting the message with how he'd had spat that sentence and the venom in his voice. Glancing at their wrist despite wearing no watch, they'd insist that they were running out of time and literally run away.
When you'd look up at him in confusion, König looked back down at you innocently, paraphrasing that he had simply said you were taken.
A facepalm from you. "God, König..." you'd groan, unable to stop the silly smirk from stretching itself on your face. "You nearly made that guy shit himself. Please don't do that again."
König would likewise always straighten himself to his full height and cast a menacing shadow at the dummkopf who dared speak poorly of you.
Once they'd mumble rushed apologies and speed-walk away, you'd see him glowing with an adoring expression in his eyes, a complete 180° to the death stare he shot at the recruit and the hand gesture he made at his throat seconds before.
König would always rest a large hand on your lower back to guide you in crowds, keeping you close beside him to further drive in the point that you were strictly off limits.
Really though, he wasn't jealous. Not in the slightest!
He rationalised his behaviour as looking out for you. In no way was he being overbearing or overly territorial; if anything, people were pushing your already established boundaries and he was reminding people of them! He wasn't jealous at all, no.
Behind closed doors, however, he'd be quieter than usual and have a vulnerable look in his eyes, desperate for your reassurance and to hear you say that you loved him.
Deep down, he was insecure.
That good-looking man didn't make you swoon, did he? Why were you laughing so hard at his joke? He wanted to have made you laugh like that. You still loved him, though, didn't you? You wouldn't want to be with anyone else, right? Right?
It wasn't that König didn't trust you. Although this Colonel looked fierce in front of his collegues and used his booming voice to command others with a harsh tone he found it difficult to project at a large crowd, he had always been sensitive in secret. Being bullied in childhood could certainly do that to a person.
You were the only one he trusted to see his insecurities, and would always shower him with love and affection in private, reassuring him that yes, he was still your sweet and handsome König, and yes, of course you still loved him — that guy that got a laugh out of you was only one out of pity, as he gave you the ick anyways.
One afternoon while you two were eating dinner, König had out of the blue been the one to suggest the idea of a pet; a strong, big, intimidating dog that would protect you while he himself couldn't.
In all actuality, he had been thinking this over since the day you two started dating.
After all, as much as he'd had liked to clone himself and have one part of him fighting when duty called while the other part stayed with you to protect you at home, obviously that wasn't achievable. That afternoon seemed most appropriate to bring it up, as he was assigned for a mission in two weeks' time and was already worried sick over you despite still yet to be around you at all times for twelve more days.
You laughed, surprised by his sudden suggestion. In a way, you had already had a guard dog all along, you told him, yet König shook his head vehemently, insistent. "Nein! Was ist, wenn du verletzt bist? What if you get hurt while I am away? I won't allow it!"
Shaking your head in defeat as an amused smile was tugging at your lips, you couldn't really blame your boyfriend for being so paranoid. In a sense, he was justified in thinking so, and you couldn't fault him, him being a soldier — a Colonel — and all.
König himself came to the conclusion that you should have a German-Shepherd — "A big, strong, and intelligent dog" — smiling proudly as he said so. Laughing at his need to prove himself to you and his evident enthusiasm that proved he was deadly serious, you shook your head again with a sincere smile on your face and gave his forehead a kiss. Really, his concern over you was endearing, and you loved him so much.
On the day before the mission of his, he surprised you by leading in a fully-grown German Shepherd into your shared home as he carried a large dufflebag over his shoulder. Although you had wanted to have a puppy, König insisted a trained canine used in the police force and military operations would keep you safe, and he was firm, not budging even when you mustered the best puppy-dog eyes you could. He knew best, and he needed to relieve the anxiety that plagued him when you weren't around immediately. Finally having use for the connections he had made in his position, he was able to bring home on of Kortac's own German-Shepherds.
Standing with a self-assured manner, the dog didn't hesistate in showering you with love once the lead came off, lapping and licking at your face in excitement at seeing his new owner's face.
You laughed out loud when you saw a tactical dog collar around his neck, the same khaki colour that matched König's cargo pants. Another piece of König to remind you of him.
Still standing, König watched with his arms crossed and a huge smile across his face as he saw how happy you were. He was beginning to breathe easy with the knowledge that nothing would come to harm you while he was away.
Tongue out while panting, the dog waited expectantly under you for an order.
You looked up at König, eyes sparkling in child-like excitement. "Can he do tricks?"
Smiling, König's eyes crinkled in his love for you. "Schatz, it can do more than just tricks. It can protect you. And it will."
You looked down at the giant yet sweet dog, and raised your voice slightly.
"Sit." He did so without hesitation.
"Handshake," you prompted, and he offered his paw to you obediently.
"Stay..." you began, a finger in front of his snout, "stay..."
"Good boy!" you squealed, and fed him a dog treat from the one of the XXL bags König had bought for the occasion, along with a mountain of dog toys, and even a bed.
"What are clever boy you are, aren't you? Yes you are! You are!"
König crouched, and pet the top of the dog's head a couple of times, his eyes on you. "What do you want to call it, meine Liebe?"
Pausing, all at once it occured to you. With joyful satisfaction, you exclaimed: "Prince!" You giggled, barely able to contain your happiness. "Our Prince to my sweet, handsome King," you cooed, not failing to notice the way König looked away, his cheeks under the eye holes of his hood reddening at your comment.
While away from you for weeks, even months at a time, he could rest easier knowing that you weren't all alone at home. Although he still worried for you excessively, biting his nails when in his room as he thought over how you could be doing and what you were doing at any given time, at least he wouldn't toss and turn at night thinking over what could happen to you. He'd smile in satisfaction, pleased that his presence would still linger even when he wasn't physically there, finding comfort in the fact that a part of him still remained with you when he was hundreds of miles away.
You, on the other hand, were so happy! Obviously you were overwhelmed with the responsibility — quite frankly, you had never had a dog before, much less one this big — so you struggled to take care of it in the beginning. Knowing what food to feed it, how to keep it entertained, going so often outside you'd flop on a chair in exhaustion was physically and mentally demanding, as you wanted your canine companion to love you unconditionally and not be a bad owner to it at all.
However, it all quickly became routine to you: walking your guard dog as his ears were perked up in alertness, head darting around from side to side; playing with it in the park, and spoiling it with treats when you'd get home; and grooming his soft, dark fur and taking him to vet checkups almost made you wonder how you had managed to live this long without ever owning a pet.
Whenever you'd make yourself some food, you filled his bowl with dog food too. Whenever you had just stepped out of the shower, it would be your dog's turn to be cleaned in the bathtub. Whenever you would lazily lay on the sofa or sprawl yourself on the bed, your dog was cuddled up to you.
It was all fun and games, though, until he'd damn near suffocate you with his sheer mass and make you sneeze from the fur that tickled your nostrils, but you slowly grew used to it, using your German Shepherd as a weighted blanket and hugging it like it was your own child.
Somehow, this furry friend filled a void that König would leave behind, and you practically were both attached by the hip — well, by the ankle and hind leg, actually, but that's beside the point. You two were inseparable, and if König knew that then he'd be surely overjoyed.
When König finally had some precious minutes to himself, the first thing he'd do was call you, wanting to hear your voice and make sure you were alright. He'd nearly trip over his own two feet as he scrambled for his phone to dial your number, nearly knocking over a lamp and falling over some furniture in the process.
You'd pick up on the second ring and would nearly go deaf upon hearing the loud accented voice on the receiver. "Liebling! How are you, my sweet? I have been missing you!"
You two would exchange these sorts of questions and proclamations of love back and forth, so lovey-dovey that some of the more daring operators in König's faction made gagging noises on the other side of the door, while the more serious operators scolded them and reminded them that they were yet to feel the touch of another man/woman.
As König would listen to your ramblings about how happy you were and your lovely German Shepard, however, his ears perked up and he listened more closely.
"Prince is so lovely! He's my sweet baby and I love him so so so much! He's definitely my best friend right now, 100%. Everyone back home is getting pissy with me when I don't answer their calls because I spend more time with him than I do with them but can you really blame me when I have this beautiful prince? I mean, he's so sweet! Whenever I don't wake up at the same time in the morning he's jumping into bed and licking my face and oh my God I cannot cope with this cuteness! He's such a good boy! The very best boy! The best boy of all the boys!"
Meanwhile, König stood there, his mouth agape.
...What did you mean he was your sweet baby? Your beautiful prince? Your good boy?
Why would you call him the — not the best, but the very best — boy, the best of all boys? You couldn't have been serious.
It was just a dog. Why were you so attached to it?
It wasn't like König didn't grasp the concept of strong bonds between humans and animals — in fact, he had always been a strong believer of the "dogs being a man's best friend" common knowledge — but... this? You were coddling the thing, for God's sake! It was supposed to be fierce and threatening, not cute and cuddly. How was it supposed to protect you when all you'd do was hug it and give it compliments?
He felt his jaws tighten when you panned the camera down to show the dog peacefully laying beside you on the bed, you stroking his ears. On. The. Bed. On his and your bed. The bed the two of you would sleep on.
König couldn't believe this; he, a grown man, a disciplined soldier that moved up the ranks to be a Colonel, a 6'10 brutal killing machine who l... wanted you to be calling him those things, wanted you to run your fingers through his hair like that. Not some mutt. You were giving it star treatment and pampering it way too much than you should have.
He laughed at himself for thinking so irrationally and for being so immature. I mean, it was a dog. There was no competition to be won, nothing to prove — his rational thought repeated to him that you still loved him regardless — yet the ultimate prize would be you and your attention.
He chuckled disingenuously as you rambled on about something, and the smile under his hood didn't quite reach his eyes.
When he finally returned after grueling months away from you, those pale blue eyes still crinkled up in happiness whenever they saw you, still picked you up and spun you in the air as you'd shriek like a banshee while your legs kicked freely, still gave you a loving kiss on your lips before showering your face with wet kisses. He'd pull away, a boyish grin on his face, his face flushed, your eyes locked with his in an intimate moment...
...And then his mood would sour as your dog leaped up towards you, not wanting to be left out in the reunion.
You'd fail to notice his hands clenched into fists as your dog took the oh so comfortable spot on your lap, where he should have been laying, how below his mask a scowl was aimed at the dog you'd shower with kisses that should have been for him, how the dog would slobber your face and leave it dripping in drool, almost as if it was proving some point to him and being totally smug about it.
Of course, he didn't seem the least bit bothered to you — he wouldn't let his behaviour show. This was utter childishness, completely ridiculous, and absolutely absurd, yet somehow König couldn't control the jealousy that would stew inside of him hours after you'd fall asleep, glaring at the dog laying in between you when all he had wanted all day was to cuddle up to you and hold you close.
Somehow, his plan to keep you safe backfired, because the dog took his job as your body guard too seriously and would not let him be affectionate with you. He was beginning to despise the creature.
When you'd be walking the dog together and shower it with praise, König's hands clenched into tight fists. When you'd stroke the dog's head gently, running your fingers through his thick fur as his front paws were tucked neatly underneath him, König's nails dug into his biceps as he kept his arms firmly crossed, hating what he was seeing through his peripheral vision. When you'd glance at him as your dog was nestled between your legs, he'd turn his head, hiding the furrowed eyebrows and the clear pout on his face of an annoyed child, behaving like an annoyed child.
• In conclusion: give your König a hug. :( A kiss right on the lips and tell him that he's your sweet baby! Your beautiful prince! Your good boy! Your favourite person in the entire world and the best of the best!
• Reserve that precious spot on your lap *just* for him, and allow him to be putty in your hands!
• Run your fingers through his hair just like you would with your dog, and scratch that sensitive spot on his scalp with your fingernails!
• Don't make him regret ever getting the dog for you :'( As time goes on, it will eventually become the "father that didn't want the pet is now best friends with it and the pet is most affectionate with him" kind of dynamic.
• Just because muscular men and army-hardened soldiers like König were disciplined to be stoic and strong, sometimes they want nothing more than affection and words of affirmation from their lover from time to time. <3
So, you'd now lounge on the couch, content with your two guard dogs on either side of you; your Prince laying to your right, and your King in between your thighs, stroking the top of his head as his chest rose and fell at a steady rhythm.
...
Note: Gonna kms 🤡🔫 i have ro to go back to school tmr fucjing WHY i hate everyoje there 😭So yeah less frequent updates sorry guys 💔💔still going to be writing my long-ass fanfictions but itll take more time and ill probs have like 10 mentsl breakfowns daily 🤪 literallt cannot wait 🥰
My writing process is so incomprehensible tho 😭i jump from the first fic im writing to the second one im writing WAYY too often 🗿but ig its good because in a way im not TECHNICALLY procrastinating and beinf productive with 2 projects at once,, tho idk i guess tbats just a major cope if im beinf honest🤷🏼‍♀️
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transfemarmin · 8 months
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M. MORALES X READER
req: 42!miles helping the reader study spanish
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“ LO SIENTO MAMI…BUT…YOU SUCK AT THIS.”
miles ran his left hand down his face, and let out a frustrated sigh, “ you’re absolutely shit at spanish.. im surprised you’re in spanish two..and not still in one for how terrible you actually are at this.” he wasn’t trying to be mean, he swears on his mami that he wasn’t trying to be mean, but the way he came off was rude; and he didn’t care to fix it.
[name] raised an eyebrow, her eyebrows quickly furrowed after that, “ what..?” her voice was soft, in an attempt to hide how much offense she took to his words, but miles just shook his head, “ mami.. you just noted down that.. bonita means ugly..” miles’ eyebrows furrowed, and he pinched the bridge of his nose, “ dios mío.. I don’t even know why I agreed to tutor you.” he didn’t mean that, he honestly didn’t. more frustrated than anything with the fact he agreed to tutor someone who obviously was able to glide right through spanish one.
if this was anyone else, [name] probably would’ve cried, but she knew miles didn’t mean any of it.. did it make her feel bad? yeah.. “ sorry.” her voice spoke gently, leaning over her notebook and erasing the ‘ ugly’, replacing it with ‘ pretty’
“ can I practice on you?” a look of hope was in her eyes, trying to make it up to him.. at least a little bit, it wasn’t going to be a lot.. but she wanted to say this one thing to him.. she didn’t even let him answer before she spoke “ mi chico es bonito..” while her accent was broken, and she stuttered over bonito.. she had a look of determination across her face.. one that seemed to wash away and frustrations miles had towards [name], his deep frown quickly was replaced with a grin, as he hid his face in his hands
“ okay…” he spoke.. the smile couldn’t leave his face, “ maybe….maybe that concludes our studying session today.. you’re obviously picking up on something.” the smile was still in his face as he stood up, and [name] stood up too, “ mi chico es…intelligent..? I don’t know the spanish word for that.. sorry.” she tried her luck this time, but it obviously didn’t work.. it did make miles giggle though.
his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close for a moment. “ dont worry.. I’ll tutor your dumbass some more next week.” his eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes, it was obvious he wanted to kiss her.. but.. he just pulled back, turning to pack his things up, “ same time?” “ eh… yeah!” the girl spoke, clearly a bit nervous because of how close they just had been.
“ I’ll see you then.. mami.” he spoke, before swinging his backpack over his shoulder, and heading towards the library doors
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