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katzgutz777 · 2 years

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okay its 4am here and i guess what better time to express how chronically online i am through homestuck gender, sexuality and mental stuff headcanons of mine *smile*

okay im gonna start off with the beta kids and trolls of course, probably will not go into the alpha trolls as i do not really know a lot or care a lot about them

one disclaimer, i dont see most of this shit as canon and this doesnt mean i dont believe or even dislike other headcanons, i love seeing all different headcanons and really use and see everyones headcanons of everything, so this isnt saying my headcanons are the ONLY way i see and interpret these characters its just how i see them without an outside influence so dont come after me like omg hes gay and trans.. IDGAF!!! HE IS GAY AND TRANS !!!!!! IDC IF I SAID HES CISHET AND YOU THINK HES GAY AND TRANS.. ME TOO i think everything, these are just my like, personal thoughts about the characters, i genuinely like and use all headcanons though

John: um i am a john/june coexistence believer so i will be going over both. I think john is defo straight okay like idk dont ask i wont be explaining like he just feels cishet to me dont get me wrong I love LOVE johndave but you cant look at john fucking egbert and tell me he is gay im sorry, and june is defo a transbian, thats all shes just a girly who likes girls. as for mental stuff both of them, I see personally having autism DEFINITELY and slight adhd

Dave: oh my god BI DAVE IS REAL. dave is one million percent bi no gender lean,but was ashamed of it for a while because he was scared to be gay cause he grew up thinking gay was something wrong, but eventually came to terms with it. i can see dave as cis or transmasc really they both fit very well to me. dave has to me, obv depression, but i think like a panic disorder because of his brother, some stuff brings him back, and while i feel the bro dave stuff wasnt as severe as the fandom makes it out to be, it still was pretty fucked up, and dave is still just as fucked up over it, a lot of the time its more self worth stuff wondering why his brother was such a dick to him blahblahbalh whatever you get what im saying, i also feel as if like, not a mental disorder thing but he tries to get attention from everyone he can because of the attention his childhood lacked and he is really scared and insecure anyways take all this as you will

Rose: ok rose augh bi rose is real,,, BUT she is SO SO SO female leaning, like shes like i like girls butttttttt there are a few men i will ... look at and want for. I think shes nonbinary demigirl, she/they but doesnt mind whichever set of pronouns you use. i think she has like pretty bad depression and struggles a lot with derealization and things in that area. i can also see her definitely having some form of autism

Jade: okay jade i see as cis and bi with no lean, i have no further explanation, while i see her as having bpd it presents itself way differently than usually associated with the stereotype for someone with bpd. this coming from being alone her whole life and feeling abandoned by everyone around her, because she might feel like shes the only one who puts effort into caring and is still left alone in the end maybe im projecting lalal youll never know ! i see her also having severe severe depression but tries to suppress it to make sure no one worries, she also has really bad add and some slight form of autism.

OK now onto beta trolls (warning a lot of these r gonna be bi headcanons oppsy)

Aradia: okay.... im not sure how to go about this one since i am aradia lol but uhh ill just go ahead and describe how i see myself i suppose? so I am cis girl she/her, bi with a pretty heavy female lean, ok if anyone wants I will go further in depth with this one but i have bpd and hpd which are both very similar but have some distinct differences xD anyways I also have some form of autism and have add, i struggle really really badly with depression along with derealization and depersonalization, this is all, umm as a little added thing I subscribe to catholicism but am kind of shitty at practicing it, but i still do hold some of their beliefs to myself

Tavros: transmasc absolutely cant fight me on this one, um also bi with a male lean, I think he struggles with an anxiety/panic disorder, and has autism + depression.. he also has dependent personality disorder REAL bad.. umm dont have a lot to say on this one LMAO

Sollux: sigh everyones gonna kill me sollux can be cis to me......... if I want, but I also like trans headcanons of him? so idrk how i see him lel, hes definitely bi with a female lean. um he has bipolar.. canon so thats one, but I can also see him having aspd noo ren dont make him evil having aspd doesnt make you evil these are my headcanons so they will make sense to me differently than they will to you haha and he has depression

Karkat: transmasc karkat real ooouhhh scary ghost noise also bi with male lean, he so obviously has a panic disorder and ptsd, I also think he struggles with depression real, and like lol.. anger issues ok thats all i have to sat for him too ah oopsie a lot of these are gonna be depression but thats a given cause.. really who isnt depressed anymore?

Nepeta: BRAH okay listen nepeta isnt like.. not cis but she isnt not nonbinary!!!?!!?!?! like to describe it shes like nonbinary with she/her prns like shes just this little girl that breaks gender norms all day if u feel me? shes bi with a slight female lean but no real preference i think she defo has autism and adhd, but also struggles really bad with depression from how lonely she is

Kanaya: lesbian 100000000000% does not like men LOL um honestly she/her cis, she has depression and bpd shh shh everyone who is mad for my bpd diagnoses close your eyes, ok this is all

Terezi: cis girl and bi with a male lean, i think she has depression really bad and dependent personality disorder but it only starts showing outwardly later within the comic after all the stuff .... with her goes down

Vriska: transfemme bi with no lean, ok ahh this is not really a lot to unpack but it is? idk vriska though her personality seems like the posterboy for fucking bpd and people might say that gives people with bpd a bad reputation to be associated with her, as someone with medically diagnosed bpd i just dont agree, if the shoe fits... its probably for a reason, anyways vriska has the absolute most convincing and fitting title of bpd of any character within homestuck, but she also fits within depression in my opinion, but thats really a result of her bpd and stuff with her lusus driving people away anyways i can also see her having npd

Equius: brah gonna be honest equius straight but bicurious and transmasc, wants to be strong because of his rage stuff but also because hes insecure about not being cis and wants to be as “manly” as possible, nepeta always tries to convince him he doesnt have to be strong to be a man but hes so insecure it doesnt matter what she says. I think he personally struggles HORRIBLY with gender dysphoria and what trans person doesnt? but him especially, it makes him badly depressed and he wont admit it, I also think he is autistic

Gamzee: brah another cis male bi sigh he has a female lean but only a little. I think he struggles with drug induced psychosis, he started abusing substances when he was younger because he was depressed but it ended up frying his brain and making his body and mind dependent on the drugs and giving him awful psychosis issues

Eridan: cis male bi with no lean whatsoever he just wants someone to fucking love him, i think he struggles with bpd, hpd and npd along with depression ok thats all

Feferi: cis female bi large male lean, but still also likes girls a lot?? idk just kinda loves everything and everyone, has adhd really bad and autism, not depressed but sometimes has derealization episodes and doesnt know how to tell anyone and keeps them to herself

Jane: cishet, bicurious but is too ashamed to admit it because of how she was raised, i think she struggles with anger issues and some slight depression, but thats about it

Dirk: cis gay gay gay gay gay as fuck oh my god anyways i know i said cis but i can also see trans dirk real so idk, i think he has gasp! bpd, he also very much has awwwful depression

Roxy: cis bi female, male lean, deals with really really bad depression but keeps it to herself ah obviously has substance abuse issues that are to deal with the depression

Jake: cis bi male lean, on the aromantic spectrum sigh idk lel this is just what i think, he also has mega autism and also very depressed

ok these r all please dont hate me after this 💀

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tealkialo · 1 year

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https://www.reddit.com/r/196/comments/vw38kr/rule/ifq8fi7?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

"I agree that the separation of men and women makes sense but trans women don't have such an advantage over cis women as cis men do. Look at Lia Thomas who swam the 500 yard freestyle in 4:33. The record for that category is 4:24, set by the cis woman Katie Ledecky in 2017. How come a trans woman who supposedly has such an unfair advantage gets beaten by 9 seconds by someone who doesn't have that advantages?

Also, Lia Thomas is the only trans woman in sports I hear about. If trans women really were so much better, then they would be getting first places left and right which would then get reported by fox news and the likes as if theres no tomorrow. But I don't see these articles, so it's unlikely that trans women get a lot of first places and dominate tournaments.

But let's ignore all that and say trans women actually have an advantage. I'll ignore testosterone because to compete, you have to be on HRT for a few years and have under a certain amount of testosterone in your body. So what other advantages do they have? AMABs are on average taller, but what about tall women? Are they allowed to compete? If yes, then it's obvious discrimination against trans women, if no, they'd be forced to compete in the men's category where they have no chance to win. AMABs also have a higher bone density, but what about black people who, as Horny-Bi-Boy24 mentioned, also have that. Are they allowed to compete? The choices are the same as above.

In conclusion, I think female trans athletes belong in the female category because they aren't overpowering women and if trans women were excluded, we'd have to exclude even more people or just single out trans people (I wonder which one it would be /s)"

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posi-pan · 2 years

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hey i was wondering if you had evidence of the historic place of mspec lesbians/gays in the queer community. i keep hearing people claim it’s historical but then i’ve never seen any evidence. i’m not hating just genuinely curious!

I have a resources page and this specific post that have links to info and source compilations on mspec lesbians/gays.

But because I’m in the mood to, here are the direct sources on mspec lesbians/gays dating back to the 1970s that I know of.

Heads up, this is indeed a long post.

We Walk Alone by Ann Aldrich (1955)

“Another sort of lesbian is the so-called bisexual. [...] The bisexual lesbian is indeed often love-hungry, not necessarily because her appetite is any larger than other females [...] Unlike many homosexuals who simply talk bisexuality, this lesbian lives it.”

“Bisexuality” by Trisha Miller, Lavender Woman (1973)

“What is a Lesbian? To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians.”

“Trans-Sexuality: Bisexual Formations and the Limits of Categories” by Josephine Ho (2004)

“Even within the lesbian community of the 1970s and 1980s, gender/sexuality coloring exerted very different effects on bisexual lesbians with different gender images.” (This source is from 2004 but it speaks of the 1970s and 1980s.)

“Gay-identified bisexuals” by The BiVocals, Bi Women Quarterly (1983)

“We are a group of radical gay-identified bisexual women who have meeting together for almost a year.”

Against Patriarchy (1984)

“Events took a dramatic turn when I then became very attracted to a bisexual Lesbian, who I shall call Robyn.”

“Bisexual Women” by R. Drew, Bi Women Quarterly (1984)

“How many bisexual lesbians are there? [...] Here’s one way for you to guess how many bisexual women exist in the lesbian community: The next time you find yourself surrounded by lesbians, at a workshop, a bar, a party, a dance, a benefit, a rally, a rap group, a class, ask yourself how many women would still be there if all the bisexual lesbians got up and left. [...] It’s just a hypothetical situation, since bisexual lesbians are a large and irremovable part of the lesbian community.”

“Colorado college environment alienates homosexuals” by Sharon Brady, The Catalyst (1984)

“‘If I have to be labeled’, said Sam, ‘I’m a bisexual lesbian. I don’t like men in bed but I have very strong relationships with men.’”

“Pro Choice” by Marcia Deihl, Gay Community News (1984)

“One of the most important things I tell new friends is that I am a gay-identified bisexual.”

“Study Group” by Barb H., Bi Women Quarterly (1984)

“We started by trying to define some terms, specifically ‘feminism,’ ‘gay-identified bisexual,’ and ‘bisexual’. Alot of us were amazed to see how many different interpretations each term, especially ‘gay-identified,’ could have. Is someone ‘gay-identified’ because they devote a majority of their time, energy and emotion to the gay community? Or does an individual’s radical critique of heterosexuality make them ‘gay-identified’? And does ‘gay-identified’ also imply ‘women-identified’? Some people felt that one could be gay-identified, and still not be woman-identified. And exactly how many Meg Christian concerts make you ‘lesbian-identified’?”

“Bisexuality & Discrimination” by Lani Ka’ahumanu, Bi Women Quarterly (1985)

“It is important for me as a lesbian identified bisexual woman, who is politically dedicated to and active in the feminist movement, to discuss bisexuality as a valid lifestyle, to challenge the prejudices and encourage people to come out. [...] My political consciousness is lesbian but my lifestyle is bisexual.”

“Impression of the Second National Conference on Bisexuality”, Bi-Monthly Magazine (1985) (Reprinted in Bisexual Lives by Off Pink Publishing in 1988)

“It was really important too to hear for the first time the terms ‘lesbian and gay-identified bisexuals’ and to know that my own instinct to ‘identify’ as lesbian, while wanting to be accepted and acknowledged as bisexual, had a political validity and context which others were long aware of.”

The Slang Thesaurus by Jonathon Green (1986)

A list of derogatory terms for “female homosexuals” includes “bluff (bisexual lesbian)”.

“Bi of the Month: Betty Aubut by Robyn Ochs”, Bi Women Quarterly (1987)

“I call myself a ‘bisexual lesbian.’”

Lesbian Psychologies: Exploration and Challenges edited by Boston Lesbian Psychologies Collective (1987)

“She calls herself a ‘bisexual lesbian’, presently interested in women, but acknowledging an attraction to men she may someday choose to act upon.”

“Andy, 27”, Bisexual Lives by Off Pink Publishing (1988)

“I see myself as gay and bisexual, they say this cannot be. However, my lifestyle having developed over the last 10 years as an ‘out’ gay man, I am not going into the closet. I am still gay.”

Bisexual Lives by Off Pink Publishing (1988)

“Gay-identified bisexuals have to cope with ‘coming out’ on two fronts, to both the heterosexual AND lesbian and gay communities.”

“David Burkle, 45”, Bisexual Lives by Off Pink Publishing (1988)

“Not only could I technically be bisexual, I could identify as gay and grow to be proud of it.” / “I began to feel that the right way for me to identify was as gay politically and bisexual behaviourally.”

“Pink Dandelion, 22”, Bisexual Lives by Off Pink Publishing (1988)

“It was at this time that I met a bisexual lesbian, i.e. someone whose culture and identity was lesbian, but who did feel something for some men. I suppose I saw myself as a gay bisexual.” “I argued that you could be gay AND bisexual.” “The second was the setting up of the Radical Lesbian and Gay Identified Bisexual Network, which was ME. Also there were ten other wimmin and men. At last I had found people to relate to.”

“Contributors’ Notes”, Sinister Wisdom (1989)

“Sharon Sumpter is a bisexual lesbian activist and psychotherapist who works with women survivors of abuse, institutionalization and sexual oppression.”

“1990 National Bisexual Conference” by Liz Highleyman, Bi Women Quarterly (1990)

“There were workshops aimed at married and straight-identified bisexuals, as well as gay- and lesbian-identified bisexuals.”

Bisexuality: A Reader and Sourcebook by Thomas Gellar (1990)

The list of alternative labels includes the terms “bisexual lesbian”, “gay bisexual”, and “byke”.

“Bisexual Women and AIDS” by Alexis Danzig, Women, AIDS, and Activism edited by Marion Banzhaf (1990)

“I define myself as a lesbian, but if I’m feeling really brave I’ll say I’m a lesbian-identified bisexual. Three years ago I was definitely a lesbian. Now I think of myself as bisexual, sometimes.”

“Privatized ‘Recovery’ Versus Collective Action” by Leonard Tirado, Gay Community News (1990)

“As a gay-identified bisexual man, my anger is compounded by the nagging feeling that the entire lesbian, gay and bisexual community is being suckered into losing sight of the social aspects of dependency, chemical and otherwise.”

“Another Senseless Loss” by Dolores Bishop, Bi Any Other Name by Lani Ka’ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins (1991)

“When Alan Rockway died of AIDS in November 1987, our bisexual community lost one of its key leaders. His was another senseless loss. Alan, a founding member of BiPOL, had been very active as a gay-identified bisexual organizer. He co-authored the controversial Gay Rights Ordinance in Dade County, Florida, which spurred Anita Bryant’s Save Our Children Campaign.”

Bi Any Other Name by Lani Ka’ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins (1991)

The glossary includes “gay-identified bisexual” and “heterosexual-identified bisexual” and “lesbian-identified bisexual”.

“Bi Bi-Love, Hello Happiness” by Rachel Pepper, Bay Area Reporter (1991)

“Although I really do think of myself as a woman with ‘dyke’ energy, and have been calling myself a dyke for years, when I think about it, maybe ‘bi dyke,’ a lesbian-identified bisexual woman, better suits me.”

“Bicoastal Introduction”, Bi Any Other Name by Lani Ka’ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins (1991)

“More and more lesbians and gay men are examining and openly exploring their bisexual behavior, as are some bisexuals within heterosexual closets. This is due, in large part, to the public lesbian- and gay-identified bisexual pioneers who began the work of bisexual pride in the early 1980s.”

“A Bi-Coastal Partnership: An Interview with Co-editors Lani Ka’ahumanu & Loraine Hutchins” by Naomi Tucker, Anything That Moves (1991)

“Alan had always been an inspiration to me as a gay-identified bisexual organizer, because he had incredible chutzpah and feminist politics.”

“Bisexual Lesbian” by Dajenya (1991)

“I am not just bisexual. I am a lesbian. I am not just a lesbian. I am a bisexual lesbian. [...] I have the right to claim my lesbianism and my bisexuality even if it confuses you. I am a lesbian. I am bisexual. I am a bisexual lesbian. Deal with it.”

“The Bisexual Revolution: Deluded Closet Cases or the Vanguard of the Movement” by Carrie Wofford, OutWeek (1991)

“Ka’ahumanu describes herself as ‘a lesbian-identified bisexual woman who is politically dedicated to and active in the women’s movement.’”

“Bi Women, Lesbians Meet in Fence-Mending Bid” by Nancy Boutilier, Bay Area Reporter (1991)

“At times the emphasis was on shared experience; at times it was on differences. Women referred to themselves as bidykes, queer, lesbian, bisexual �� one called herself a bisexual-lesbian while another saw herself as a lesbian-identified bisexual.”

“My Life As a Lesbian-Identified Bisexual Fag Hag” by Ellen Terris, Bi Any Other Name by Lani Ka’ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins (1991)

“Myths/realities of bisexuality” by Sharon Forman Sumpter, Bi Any Other Name by Lani Ka’ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins (1991)

“Most bisexuals consider themselves part of the generic term ‘gay.’ Many are quite active in the gay community, both socially and politically. some of use terms such as ‘bisexual lesbian; to increase our visibility on both issues.”

“The Queer in Me” by Carol Queen, Bi Any Other Name by Lani Ka’ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins (1991)

“Before I became sexual with women, I was worried about calling myself bisexual. Now I’m worried because it seems so imprecise. I deal with it by saying ‘lesbian-identified bisexual’ (or, when I’m feeling perverse, ‘faggot-identified lesbian’), but then almost no one understands.”

Sexual Democracy: Women, Oppression, and Revolution by Ann Ferguson (1991)

“Although lesbian separatists have been resisting the change, other lesbians are coming out as bisexual lesbians or as lesbians whose lovers are bisexual and who are tired of separatist politics that exclude them from the lesbian counterculture. As a bisexual lesbian myself, I applaud the development in the hope that the struggle against heterosexism can be strengthened by the inclusion of more who consider themselves hurt by it.”

“Who Are We? Establishing and Reclaiming the Bisexual Community” by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Ka’ahumanu, Anything That Moves (1991)

“There is no one right way to be a bisexual; there are many. [...] Some of us are proud dykes and faggots.”

“The 1993 March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi (yes!) Equal Rights and Liberation April 25” by Lani Ka’ahumanu, Anything That Moves (1992)

“Rebecca Hensler a Queer Nation/ACT UP bi dyke from SF.”

“Bisexuals in the Queer Movement” by Carol A. Queen (1992)

“A great many bisexual women, particularly those who are feminist and lesbian-identified, have felt both personally and politically rejected and judged by the separatist sisters.”

Closer to Home: Bisexuality & Feminism edited by Elizabeth Reba Weise (1992)

“The women in this anthology give themselves many names. Bi-dyke, bi-lesbian, bi-feminist, lesbian-identified bisexual, bisexual, bi-affectional, lesbian, and formerly-lesbian bisexual.”

“Evil Companions”, Bay Area Reporter (1992)

“Danielle Willis, ‘bisexual lesbian vampyre’ weirds things up with her stories.”

“The Invisible Sex” by Noreen C. Barnes, Bay Area Reporter (1992)

“She defines herself as a bisexual lesbian, and says, ‘in theory, I enjoy men and women, but in reality I share my life and my bed with only one woman.’”

“Activating Bisexuality: Towards a Bi/Sexual Politics” by Jo Eadie, Activating Theory: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Politics edited by Joseph Bristow and Angelia R. Wilson (1993)

“‘To the five life-styles recognized in the 1950s at least three have been added: the lesbian-feminist, the lesbian mother, the lesbian anarcho-squatter’. Not the lesbian-identified bisexual or the lesbian who sleeps with men.”

“‘Aunt Tessie’ Isn’t Lesbian Enough” by Marijo Readey, Anything That Moves (1993)

“Enclosed you will find a copy of a letter of rejection which I recently received from the lesbian journal Common Lives, Lesbian Lives. Please note that the story which I submitted was openly rejected because I acknowledged my identity as a lesbian-identified bisexual in my literary biography. The story was lesbian-oriented and had no male-oriented content.”

“Bisexual Women Pushing the Limits” by Beth Herrick, Sojourner (1993)

“As most of the writers are ‘lesbian-identified bisexuals’ (one of several labels used for the sake of convenience), the definition of lesbianism is also reevaluated. Is a lesbian a woman who relates emotionally and erotically with women or a woman who does not relate emotionally and erotically with men? Must a woman fit both criteria to be considered a lesbian?”

“Breaking Silence: Toward an In-the-Life Theology” by Elias Farajaje-Jones, Black Theology: A Documented History edited by James H. Cone and Gayraud S. Wilmore (1993)

“There are men who would define themselves as ‘gay-identified bisexual men,’ women who call themselves ‘lesbian-identified bisexual women,’ women and men who are ‘queer-identified bisexuals’ and those who would label themselves as ‘heterosexual-identified bisexuals.’” “I live in a loving, caring, nurturing family with my companion of many years, a lesbian-identified bisexual woman of color and (until the time of his death on January 10, 1992), with my partner, who was also a Black gay-identified bisexual activist AIDS educator.”

“LBGA Rallies for Commitment: National Coming Out Day Held at Student Union” by Deborah White, The Massachusetts Daily Collegian (1993)

“Dvora Zipkin described herself to the crowd as a ‘white, Jewish, lesbian-identified bisexual, graduate student concentrating on social justice.’”

Street Zen: The Life and Work of Issan Dorsey by David Schneider (1993)

“He’d also taken up with a new companion, a woman named Stormy Reaves: ‘She was a whore and a bisexual lesbian.’”

Women and Bisexuality by Sue George (1993)

“8 women chose dual sexualities: 4 identified as heterosexual/bisexual; 2 as heterosexual and lesbian; 2 as bisexual/lesbian.” “I am a bisexual lesbian feminist.” “Sexually I am bisexual with a strong lesbian identity; politically I identify as gay/lesbian.” “That women identify as both bisexual and lesbian can advance the cause of both movements.” “Within bisexual communities, particularly in the US, some women are now calling themselves ‘lesbian-identified bisexual’, to show where their political allegiance lies and where they choose to place their energy and have relationships.”

Contemporary Psychology (1994)

“Burch focuses on differences between lesbian women in sexual orientation and defines two points on a continuum: a primary lesbian (more exclusively oriented toward female partners) and a bisexual lesbian (sexual orientation is often oriented to both men and women).”

“The Gadfly Bi: An Intentionally Annoying Column to Stimulate or Provoke Thinking by Way of Persistent Irritating Criticism” by Adrienne David, Anything That Moves (1994)

“I’m assimilationist because I’d one day like to move up the income ladder so I make enough to call myself a bi-lesbian and not a bi-dyke.”

Images in the Dark: An Encyclopedia of Gay and Lesbian Film and Video by Raymond Murray (1994)

“From riding through L.A. escorted by Dykes on Bikes through her controversial centerfold modeling in Playboy, we see the self-acknowledged bisexual lesbian as a new force in feminism, a none-too-comforting thought to traditional minded feminists without a sense of humor!”

“Tippecanoe and Ka’ahumanu Too” by Lani Ka’ahumanu, Anything That Moves (1994)

“‘Lani Ka’ahumanu — an ex-housewife mother of two from San Mateo, a mixed heritage lesbian-identified bisexual feminist’ — would compete with Geraldine Ferraro and then-Mayor Diane Feinstein for the Vice-Presidential nomination of the Democratic Party.”

“Untitled/Dajenya”, Anything That Moves (1994)

“Dajenya is a self-defined bisexual lesbian and African-American Jewish writer, single mother and psychology student.”

Vamps & Tramps: New Essays by Camille Paglia (1994)

“Well, I’m a bisexual lesbian who’s also monastic, celibate, pervert, deviant, voyeur.”

The Very Inside: An Anthology of Writing by Asian and Pacific Islander Lesbian and Bisexual Women by Sharon Lim-Hing (1994)

“She is a bi-dyke woman-of-color-identified woman of color, specifically ABC (American-born Chinese).”

“Bi in the Sky” by Beth Elliot, Bay Area Reporter (1995)

“Some of us don’t see ‘lesbian’ and ‘bisexual’ as mutually exclusive categories (because we view lesbianism in terms of one’s own passion for women instead of how passionately one avoids intimacy with men). It seems to us that Maria’s angst about her lesbian credentials could be soothed by embracing one of the incredibly truly adventurous articulations a girl in love can adopt, like ‘bisexual lesbian,’ ‘bi-dyke,’ or ‘lesbian-identified bisexual,’ instead of complaining about not getting lesbian props while holding hands with her boyfriend.” “So, we developed ‘bi-dyke’ nomenclature to make a couple of things clear: we’d absolutely, positively be without sisters if the proverbial chips were ever down, and our bisexuality was an adjunct to our lesbianism, not incorporated to water it down.”

Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie B. Garber (1995)

“Susie Bright, editor of the lesbian pro-sex magazine On Our Backs, has described herself as a bisexual, or ‘bisexual lesbian.’” “‘I dislike labels. My past is heterosexual, my present life is mostly lesbian, and my future is unknown.’ writes Dvora Zipkin, who characterizes herself, selecting what she regards as the best available choice, as a ‘bisexual lesbian.’”

“Chicks Goin’ at It” by Anastasia Higginbotham, Listen Up: Voices from the Next Feminist Generation (1995)

“My favorite term (other than plain old ‘queer’) is ‘bisexual lesbian.’ It just works for me. I don’t expect a man to understand me; I don’t applaud him if he does. My heart and my mind belong with other women-loving women.”

“Don’t Assume Anything” by Amy Wyeth, Bi Women Quarterly (1995)

“Unfortunately, many of my experiences as a lesbian-identified bisexual woman have said to me that having an appearance or demeanor that diverges from the expected means I will not be accepted as truly belonging in the lesbian community.”

Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality by Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J Williams, and Douglas W. Pryor (1995)

“I have felt gay all along, along with feeling bi. [...] In terms of identifying, I feel like a citizen of the lesbian, gay, and bi community. Sexually, and in my heart, I identify as gay. Emotionally and personality-wise, I want to emphasize and have support for my relationships with men and with women, to identify with the community and as bi. People don’t always fit into discrete categories. I insist on identifying with both.”

“Introducing Jessica Meredith Xavier”, TransSister: the Journal of Transsexual Feminism (1995)

“Jessica is an out lesbian-identified bisexual transsexual woman, a transgendered and queer activist, and songwriter/poet.”

Out in All Directions: The Almanac of Gay and Lesbian America edited by Lynn Witt, Sherry Thomas, and Eric Marcus (1995)

“Lynda Moore, network news anchor for ABC Radio. A lesbian-identified bisexual, Moore says she believes if not for her presence and that of a gay person with AIDS (PWA) editor, there would be much less attention paid to gay and lesbian issues at the network.” “I am bisexual. I am a lesbian. I am a bi-identified lesbian. I am a lesbian-identified bisexual.”

Plural Desires: Writing Bisexual Women’s Realities by Bisexual Anthology Collective (1995)

“Lesbians like to ask me if I am a lesbian-identified bisexual.” “She is a bi-dyke ABC (American-born Chinese) born, raised & planning to die in the San Francisco Bay Area.”

“Power and Privilege Beyond the Invisible Fence” by Brenda Blasingame, Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions edited by Naomi Tucker (1995)

“The first step is to move toward building alliances within our bisexual communities. Many communities are united by a commonality of the oppression. This is not so in our community, partly because of the different ways people identify as bisexual: gay-identified, queer-identified, lesbian-identified, or heterosexual-identified.”

“Which Part of Me Deserves to Be Free?” by Dajenya, Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions edited by Naomi Tucker (1995)

“Personally, I am unable to separate out the various ways that I am oppressed (as a woman, as an African American, as a bisexual lesbian, as an impoverished single mother) and say that one oppression is worse than the other, or that I desire one form of liberation more than another.”

“And on Publisher’s Row” by Jenn Tust, Feminist Bookstore News (1996)

“Joan Tollifson relays her struggle to make sense of her life and her spiritual awakening in Bare-Bones Meditation. Born with only one hand, she grew up feeling different, found identity and purpose as a bisexual lesbian and a disability rights activist, but struggled with drug and alcohol addiction.”

Article by Jennifer Moore, Outright (1996)

“Some behaviourally bisexual people do identify as lesbian or gay - sometimes in conjunction with a bi identity (e.g. ‘gay-identified bisexual’ or ‘bi-dyke’).

“Ambiguous Identity in an Unambiguous Sex/Gender Structure: The Case of Bisexual Women” by Amber Ault (1996)

“Many women in this study define a dyke as ‘anyone who is not heterosexual,’ and lesbian-aligned bisexual women often use the term to describe themselves. This move allows bisexual women to participate in lesbian contexts without either the onus of deception, since ‘dykes’ includes bisexuals, or the burden of the bisexual stigma.”

Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority by Beth A. Firestein (1996)

“In her ongoing study, Paula Rust did find substantial numbers of women identifying as both bisexual and lesbian, using a variety of labels, such as bi-dyke, bisexual lesbian, and so on, to name their own particular social, sexual, and political realities.” “Most of the remainder identified themselves as bisexual in combination with other identities, for example, as a ‘lesbian bisexual,’ a ‘gay-identified bisexual,’ or a ‘bisexual queer,’ or preferred alternative terms, such as pansensual.”

“Fitting” by Charlotte Cooper, Generation Q: Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals Born Around 1969’s Stonewall Riots Tell Their Stories of Growing Up in the Age of Information edited by Robin Bernstein and Seth Clark Silberman (1996)

“I am usually either bisexual, queer, or a bi-dyke.” “Growing up as a fat bi-dyke, I didn’t fit in anywhere, and fitting was paramount.”

“From Personal Therapy to Professional Life: Observations of a Jewish, Bisexual Lesbian Therapist and Academic” by Sari H. Dworkin (1996)

“I often come out as a bisexual lesbian when I believe it is therapeutically beneficial to the client (as a role model, to illustrate the working through identity issues).”

“Facing the Body on the Cross” by Robin Hawley Gorsline, Men’s Bodies, Men’s Gods: Male Identities in a (Post) Christina Culture edited by Björn Kronendorfer (1996)

“I am a gay-identified, bisexual father. [...] As a gay-identified bisexual man.”

The Gay Almanac by The National Museum & Archive of Lesbian and Gay History (1996)

“My girlfriend is a lesbian-identified bisexual woman who sells sex toys to dykes at Good Vibrations.”

Lesbian Friendships: For Ourselves and Each Other edited by Jacqueline S. Weinstock and Esther D. Rothblum (1996)

“I have been ‘out’ as a lesbian for approximately six years and ‘out’ as a lesbian-identified bisexual for one of those six years. I suppose I include my year of bisexual identification within my six years of lesbian identification because I feel very ‘lesbian’ and it would be dishonest to imply that I no longer identify as such. It seems I currently identify as both ‘lesbian’ and ‘lesbian-identified bisexual.’”

Preventing Heterosexism and Homophobia edited by Esther D. Rothblum and Lynne A. Bond (1996)

“In my current research study, the most common sexual identities among women, after bisexual and queer, are lesbian-identified bisexual and bisexual lesbian. Similar identities are bi dyke and byke. These identities are often used by women for whom lesbian and bisexual identities each accurately reflect some aspect of their sexuality but do not completely describe their sexuality. Most commonly, these identities are used by women who feel attracted to both women and men but who, for political reasons often related to feminism or personal reasons involving their emotional feelings about women and men, choose to express these feelings only toward women. Other women use these identities because they previously identified as lesbian and retain the lesbian identity as a reflection of their political commitment to women or to the lesbian community. For them, the term bisexual is a more sexual and apolitical term than lesbian, so bisexual identity alone would not suffice to express the political meaning of their sexuality. But they feel attracted to both women and men and might be open to or actively engaged in either same-gender or other-gender activity, so they also use the term bisexual to express their sexual essence.” “Other increasingly common identities are gay bisexual among men.”

The Second Coming: A Leatherdyke Reader by Pat Califia and Robin Sweeney (1996)

“Lori Selke is a young butch bi dyke currently living in Chicago, somewhat to her dismay.”

“Sexual Identity and Bisexual Identities: The Struggle for Self-Description in a Changing Sexual Landscape” by Paula C. Rust, Queer Studies: A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Anthology edited by Brett Beemyn and Mickey Eliason (1996)

“She also reported that she ‘just recently felt justified in calling [her]self a ‘bi dyke’ among lesbians.” “A woman who calls herself a Bi-dyke said, ‘I think I made it up for myself (as did many others) out of necessity.’”

“The Art of Creating Change” by Lani Ka’ahumanu, Anything That Moves (1997)

“Jennifer Haekin Kim, a Korean-American bi dyke youth activist from Atlana.” “I identified myself as a Korean-American bi-dyke queer.”

“A Committed Bisexual: Who Says Bisexuals Can’t Be Monogamous?” by Julie White, Anything That Moves (1997)

“Julie White identifies with the following labels: queer, mother, lover, health educator, friend, bi dyke, femme, vegetarian, dominant, writer, butch, activist, submissive. Sometimes all at once.”

Gender Blending edited by Bonnie Bullough, Vern L. Bullough, and James Elias (1997)

“In the mid-1970s, I had a three-year relationships with a gay-identified, bisexual, female-to-male, preoperative transsexual (he was the dominant, and I the passive, partner). [...] Then, several years later, in 1982, I had a brief, but intense, love affair with another ‘new man’ (also preoperative, gay-identified, bisexual, and dominant).”

A Girl’s Guide to Taking Over the World: Writings from the Girl Zine Revolution by Karen Green and Tristan Taormino (1997)

“Squealworm ‘a girl-produced zine by me—a young bi-dyke who loves her bicycle, various girlfriends, turtles, and eating well.’”

Jump Cut: A Review of Contemporary Media (1997)

“As a self-appointed, bisexual-lesbian spokeswoman for the LIVE GIRL, Bright occupies a more marginal position on the campus roadshow circuit than Dines, whose institutional affiliation secures her status as a legitimate educator.”

Lesbian and Bisexual Identities by Kristin G. Esterberg (1997)

“At that point she thought that the term ‘bisexual lesbian’ would fit her situation.”

Music: Discipline Analysis: Women in the Curriculum Series (1997)

“Cathay Che, a self-identified Asian American bisexual lesbian.”

Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture by Carol Queen (1997)

“Trying to reconstitute my identity as a bisexual lesbian in that small community was difficult and painful.”

Queerly Phrased: Language, Gender, and Sexuality edited by Anna Livia and Kira Hall (1997)

“Certainly, the emergence of bisexual identity has encouraged much lexical innovation (e.g. bi, biphobia, monosexual, gay-identified bisexual, byke).

“Engendering Femme” by Rachel Lanzerotti, Anything That Moves (1998)

“Yet if I can call myself a tomboy femme bi-dyke in San Francisco, that might mean something important to a dyke reading this somewhere, who might suddenly have a new word to recognize and describe a piece of herself that isn’t quite described by ‘dyke’ alone.”

“Married Women Who Love Women reviewed by Elaine Miller”, Anything That Moves (1998)

“As a woman who spent eight years in a committed relationship with a man before coming out as a raving bi-dyke, I found this book oddly touching.”

“Moving From a Lesbian Separatist State” by Kaseja Laurine Wilder, Anything That Moves (1998)

“I’ve tried on queer, bisexual, dyke-identified bisexual, womyn-identified bisexual, lesbian-identified bisexual; none really fit.”

My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely by Kate Bornstein (1998)

“I’m a Poetess-bi-dyke-drag-chick (sometimes I crave dick)—Gasp! Laugh.”

O Solo Homo: The New Queer Experience edited by Holly Hughes and David Román (1998)

“I am a one-breasted, menopausal, Jewish, bisexual lesbian mom, and I am the topic of our times.”

“Labelous Statements” by Anne Killpack, Anything That Moves (1999)

“Be a bi-dyke or a bi-gay or a bi-androgyne or a bi-anything-that-moves-you.”

Sex & Relationships: An Anthology by John P. Elia (1999)

“Even though many of my partners have been male, I like to call myself a ‘bisexual lesbian’ to make clear my allegiance to the queer community. This community is a safe place for me to express the diversity of who I am sexually. There is no comparable term in the heterosexual community.”

“To Love Women, or To Not Love Men: Chronicles of Lesbian Identification” by Hinda Seif (1999)

“Dahlia identifies as a bisexual lesbian; Aviva used to identify as lesbian and now calls herself as a lesbian-identified bisexual woman; Donna considers herself a ‘bisexual who identifies as a lesbian.’”

The Mad Monks’ Guide to California by Jim Crotty and Michael Lane (2000)

“I was lesbian-identified bisexual, or however we were terming it there in the late eighties.”

Revolutionary Voices: A Multicultural Queer Youth Anthology by Any Sonnie (2000)

“I know who I am. Being unable to fit into a narrow category defined by someone else is not confusion. I know that defining myself is not so simple. If I collect all the labels that apply to me—Jewish-pagan-vegan-bisexual-lesbian-queer-woman-girl-womyn-grrrl—I would quickly fill up a book. Everyone’s sexuality is unique, just as no two maple leaves on the trees surrounding my parents’ house are the same as they transform into fiery red, orange, and yellow each autumn. That is part of what makes us human. The unnatural society we have imposed on the natural world is based on polarity and dichotomy. But we are constantly transforming, developing, and changing. Nothing is as simple as yes or no, right or wrong.”

Encyclopedia of Criminology and Deviant Behavior (2001)

“Others are unable to limit themselves to one identity, and therefore adopt ‘fractured’ or ‘compound’ identities, for example, ‘bisexual lesbian,’ ‘heterosexual-identified bisexual,’ or ‘byke’.”

International Encyclopedia of the Social and Behavioral Sciences (2001)

“Most people are familiar with the labels ‘heterosexual,’ ‘gay,’ ‘lesbian,’ and ‘bisexual,’ but not ‘unlabeled,’ ‘bi-lesbian,’ and ‘not straight’—terms that current cohorts of youth, particularly young women, are likely to assume.” “A mixture of bisexual and lesbian attractions (‘bi-lesbian’).”

“Postcard from the Middle: Sex and Lassitude in New Orleans” by Jack, Anything That Moves (2001)

“Me and my bi dyke buddy Wolf.”

The Masks of Mary Renault: A Literary Biography by Caroline Zilboorg (2001)

“Her sexual identity as a bisexual lesbian, as Julie’s partner, was threatened by her nusring, by the war, and by the Englishmen who came into her life and to whom she was attracted sexually as well as intellectually and emotionally.”

“A Member of the Funeral: An Introspective Ethnography” by Nancy A. Naples, Queer Families, Queer Politics: Challenging Culture and the State edited by Mary Bernstein and Renate Reinmann (2001)

“I remember the satisfaction I felt when I read Ann Ferguson’s (1991) conceptualization of her own bisexual lesbian identity. The category worked for me as a shortcut to describe my sexual history, although I have been lesbian-identified since 1980. Categories, as misguided as they may be to a postmodern sensibility, can be quite comforting and useful at times. Yet I also realize that while I adopt the term ‘bisexual lesbian’ to make sense of my personal history, it serves only as a fleeting comfort. It fails to capture the processes of negotiation and redefinition embedded in my ongoing identity construction.”

A New View of Women’s Sexual Problems (2001)

“In recent years, younger generations of sexual minority women have adopted diverse and newly constructed self-identifications, including queer, lesbian-identified bisexual, bisensual, polyamorous, and bisexual lesbian.”

Romancing the Sperm: The Screening and Making of Alternative American Families by Diane M. Tober (2001)

“I’d say I’m a bisexual lesbian. Politically, I identify more strongly with the lesbian community, but sexually, I find myself attracted to women and men.”

Same Sex Intimacies: Families of Choice and Other Life Experiments by Jeffrey Weeks (2001)

“F45 Ebony is a 34-year-old black dyke (‘technically a bisexual lesbian’).

“Sometimes a Cigar...” by Betty Blue, Anything That Moves (2001)

“Betty Blue is a polyamorous, Pagan, masochistic, pierced and tattooed bi-dyke and single mom.”

Writing as Reflective Action: A Reader by Duncan A. Carter (2001)

“One lesbian transsexual explained why she calls herself a ‘lesbian-identified bisexual’. ‘I have always been attracted to and loved women only. I thought I was a straight man. Now I’m a woman but still love women and not men at all. Yet lesbians all reject me as one of them because I’m genetically male. Bisexual women, however, fully accept me.’ Excluded from lesbian contexts, she adopted an identity that was available in a bisexual context where she was accepted.

“Bi-Gay, Bi-Straight, and Bi-Bi: Three Bisexual Subgroups Identified Using Cluster Analysis of the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid” by James D. Weinrich and Fritz Klein (2002)

“Another group consisted of 250 women on the heterosexual side of bisexual, whom we called Bi-Heterosexual. There were, similarly, 197, 115, and 63 women in groups we named Bi-Bisexual, Bi-Lesbian, and Lesbian, respectively.” “This cluster analysis showed an easily interpreted division into five subgroups, which we named Gay (consisting of 121 men), Bi-gay (176 men), Bi-Bisexual (222), Bi-Heterosexual (277), and Heterosexual (221).”

Bisexual Women in the Twenty-First Century edited by Dawn Atkins (2002)

“I’ve been thinking about the baby bi-dyke I was 25 years ago, how it would feel to her if I could time-travel back and tell her that in spite of all the trauma of trying to be a proper lesbian, everything would turn out all right—that, as Madonna sings, I’d ‘live to tell.’”

The Encyclopedia of Modern Witchcraft and Neo-Paganism by Shelley Rabinovitch (2002)

“She is a bi-lesbian.”

Affirmative Practice: Understanding and Working with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Persons by Ski Hunter (2003)

“Terms also develop and change with socially available sexual identities. Today among bisexual women the most common identities not only include bisexual and queer but ‘lesbian-identified bisexual’ and ‘bisexual lesbian’ or ‘bi dyke’ and ‘byke.’ Some bisexual women include the term lesbian in their current identification because of a previous lesbian identification or a political commitment to women or to the lesbian community.” “‘Gay bisexual’ is a recent identification among men.”

Same Sex Intimacies: Families of Choice and Other Life Experiments by Catherine Donovan, Brian Heaphy, and Jeffrey Weeks (2003)

“F45 Ebony is a 34-year-old black dyke (‘technically a bisexual lesbian’).”

Liliane, Bi Dyke is a comic that ran from 1992-2004 by Leanne Franson, who is also a bi dyke.

This twitter thread is full of photos of banners/signs from dyke marches saying things like “bi dykes” and “bykes” and “i like girls and boys” as well as screenshots from the websites of various city chapters of dyke marches that are explicitly and intentionally inclusive of bi/mspec dykes. (This doubles as a counter to the arguments that mspec people can’t say dyke and that this identity doesn’t exist in real life queer spaces.)

If anyone has some sources that aren’t here, please do share and I’ll add them!

#asks #anonymous #mspec lesbian #mspec gay #bi lesbian #bi dyke #bi gay #byke #reference #long post #i love how sometimes when i get messages asking for sources or info i already have posts/links for i'm like 'here's a link leave me alone'#and other times i'm like '*cracks knuckle* here is every single source i've ever found and the relevant quotes' lmao #i've been adding to this post as i find more and i'm gonna be going beyond the '90s because why not #EDIT: now 100+ sources!!! also to the person who was bummed to not see a specific source don't worry i got you it was on my to add list lmao

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forgotten-daydreamer · 3 years

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i know there aren't a lot but could you please give us some LGBTQ+ related anime? I'm desperate ;-;

Oh, I can try!!! Just a warning, some of these anime can be triggering, so I don't reccomend them if you don't like heavy themes (some include blood, gore, r@pe mentions, homophobia, etc). Look the rating up, I don't take responsibility!!

• "Stars Align" (2019, 12 episodes) has a character (one of the MCs) who is also questioning their gender identity, and the topic is openly discussed more than once. They don't know whether to identify as a trans girl or as non-binary. There's also a trans man, who appears more than once and is even mentioned another separate time despite being a side-character.

• "Wonder Egg Priority" (2021, 12 episodes + one special) has a whole episode about a trans character who deals with dysphoria and misgendering. Furthermore, according to some in the fandom and based on a few things that happen in the anime, one of the MCs is bi (I believe so, too).

• "Umibe no Étranger" (2018, 59 minutes) focuses on the story of the two MCs (both boys) falling in love.

• "Yuuri!!! On Ice" (2016, 12 episodes) also features the story of the two MCs (both men, again) falling in love.

• "Banana Fish" (2019, 24 episodes) anime never explicitly states what the relationship between the two MCs is, but it's clear to everyone both in the show and in the fandom that they are lovers (one of the very last scene seems to both admit and deny this).

• "Wandering Son" (2011, 12 episodes) has self-discovery and gender identity as its main topic, it features two trans MCs. I watched it too many years ago to remember it well (I'm talking 7, 8 years ago...) but I want to rewatch it because it's worth it.

• "The Disastrous Life of Saiki K" (2016-2018, 56 episodes) 's MC is aroace. Some disagree, but he himself states that he doesn't understand nor care for the concept of romantic and physical attraction. It's not an anime that focuses on lgbtq+ topics at all, but it's worth mentioning that the MC is part of the community.

• "Given" (2019, 11 episodes + movie) features the stories of three mlm couples, between breakups and misunderstandings.

I hope this helps a bit!! There's not many good lgbtq+ anime that aren't entirely p0rn-driven, sadly, but not all is lost!!

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transmasc-pirate · 3 years

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I want to write something about digital self harm, and how it can contribute to divisions within the queer community. So here goes.

---

So I have this bad habit.

I get online and I seek out bigotry directed at groups I'm a part of. At first it was bi women, later when I started figuring out my gender, nonbinary and transmasculine people.

But the thing is, bigotry that comes from right wingers doesn't really affect me emotionally. Not online, anyhow. It hurts so much worse when it comes from our own community, from people I agree with otherwise.

Back when I still thought I was cis, I used to try to find lesbians saying that they didn't want to date bi women, that we were gross or tainted, that they didn't want to be with someone who 'centered men'.

And now that I identify as transmasculine and nonbinary, I look for other trans people implying that transmasculine people are traitors to feminism for identifying with manhood, or that we don't really face any serious discrimination.

---

And the thing is, the biphobic lesbians and the trans people who hate trans men? They're a tiny minority. Most people aren't like that. I have to seek them out if I want to see stuff like that.

But in my mind? When I spend so much time reading awful, hateful things from other queer people? It sure as hell doesn't feel like they're a minority.

And if I'm being 100% honest, I've had to check myself, because I have caught myself feeling like most lesbians are biphobic. I know logically that this isn't true. All the lesbians I know irl (and most that I come across online) are wonderful people. But the feeling is still there.

---

And I'm not the only one who has this bad habit.

I sometimes see lesbians talking about how a lot of bi women are lesbophobic, or transfeminine people talking about how there's a real problem with transmisogyny among trans men.

And yeah, these are very real problems.

But I'm willing to bet that a lot of people have the same bad habit I do. That they spend a lot of time seeking out this lesbophobia and transmisogyny, and that it affects the way they view bi women or transmasculine people as a whole.

---

I think it's pretty clear how this can foster division within the queer community. When a lot of trans women feel like most transmascs are transmisogynists and a lot of trans men feel like most transfems hate them for being men, it's a lot harder to come together as one community.

Sidenote: I do want to make it clear that I'm not trying to dismiss bigotry within the queer community. It is a very real problem, but when people start thinking that most lesbians are biphobic or that most transmascs are transmisogynistic, that's a problem too.

---

So where do we go from here?

If I'm being completely honest, I don't know.

It's always good to remind ourselves that the things we see when we do digital self harm aren't representative of the communities as a whole.

One thing that has really helped me is, when I see bigotry from within the queer community directed at me, I'll post about it somewhere like r/transgendercirclejerk on reddit. It's always therapeutic to post about a trans woman I saw who hated trans men and have other trans women in the comments going "god that's so gross" or "she doesn't represent us". It reminds me that most of the community supports one another and that the people I find when I do digital self harm are a tiny minority.

#tw self harm #tw sh #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #lesbophobia #biphobia #queer #lgbt #digital self harm #long post #me <3

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menalez · 2 years

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I know this is an old topic on your blog now but I just saw the anon taking about polilez being etiologically r/t womb envy and I wanted to agree! as a former inadvertent polilez (sorry) my experience was like. i grew up in a very accepting area of the US and knew a lot of gay/lesbian adults as a child, didn’t have internalized homophobia, only liked girls as a kiddo, had my first “gf” at 11, never really paid attention to guys. was out as a lesbian by 13 among friends, but started being attracted to men as well around 16-17 like right before I discovered radical feminism. also at that time started getting harassed at school by an older guy with a history of violence against women and so really doubled down on being lesbian because I thought it would ward him off, because I had a hard line “reason” to turn him down that was beyond my control. i was scared of him.

spoiler alert he “transitioned” on a Tuesday and on Wednesday was asking me to come over and cuddle again bc he was “suicidal”, and I think at that point it being “lesbian” became very political for me, I was terrified and so angry at the lengths males would go to to violate women’s boundaries, and having just finally accepted and understood the innate nature of sex that, yeah it felt like the enlightened thing to do to affirm homosexuality. and honestly calling myself a lesbian was my way to really validate to myself (was still very involved with “queer activism” at the time) why it was okay that I still really didn’t want to sleep with this person, because, even tho now I know it was because he was a creep and an abuser and a rapist, if I were bisexual, what excuse did I have to not entertain the idea besides genuine bigotry? even though I had been radicalized I didn’t want to disrespect trans people and didn’t want to be the bigoted evil terf that I had been warned about.

obviously I was a kid and just needed practice saying no, but IG my point was for me claiming lesbianism was my way to feel like i could justify being a terf to myself and also because as a bisexual people just assume you “don’t care” about someone’s genitals which is in fact not true lol. the dude transitioned back immediately after graduation, is in jail for assault now. Can’t help wonder if he’s trying to transition again to go to a woman’s facility :-/

anyway this was long winded but basically I just had this misguided notion that being a lesbian would protect you from predatory male behavior when in fact I now understand it just makes you an even bigger target. and also that it was the only “valid” reason to be GC in my own head because I believed that it would be easier to defend my views on sex and gender if I had the authority to say “look as a lesbian I’m not attracted to you.” was also totally wrong about that as y’all receive the worst of the worst IRT backlash about dating boundaries. and there are one million other reasons to be GC besides not wanting to date/fuck trans people but because I was so afraid of being bigoted it was the only one that seemed “safe” to me. no need to publish this if it’s confusing or stupid but haven’t talked/thought about it in a while. Ok done. love your blog and think you’re amazing :-) keep fighting the good fight

your experience is quite interesting to me bc i do hear many bi & het women argue they call themselves lesbians bc it provides them some safety / means they don’t want to fuck men and dont want to explain not wanting to fuck men even tho their sexuality doesn’t bar them from it or sth, and to me i didn’t rly get it bc 1. just bc ur into men doesn’t mean ur obligated to fuck them 2. just bc ur into men doesn’t mean u should want any man possible. ur allowed to have boundaries too! 3. claiming to be a lesbian doesn’t actually provide any security. maybe maybe in the most progressive gay friendly place ever or something but even then i doubt it. so it’s definitely interesting to hear from someone who had that perspective and realised through experience that for men “lesbian” is just another variation of “try to change my no into a yes” to them. also i can say from my own experiences that when we’re teens, our idea of sexual orientation and sexuality can be quite dumb and skewed so i don’t fully blame u here. some of my feelings about sexual orientation back then made absolutely no sense and looking back im just like -_- ok how on earth did i buy that bullshit

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msdk-00 · 2 years

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dude im so NWJEHWJQHHAAAAAAA

i may be pan but men really be testing my patience nowadays bro

just saw a post just now where there's this man saying he loves it when his partner take care of him and how he likes being vulnerable with his partner (literally the cutest thing i have ever read in my entire life)

he's even expressing his feelings and opinions about how men can be submissive too yknow, in public or in bed

and the comments are just so :(((( and it's all came from men who call themselves as 'dOmInAnT 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🏍🏍🏍🏍💀💀💀💀⛓⛓🖤🖤🖤🖤'

i just want to give that man a hug or a pat on the back bro :((( i feel so bad :(( i hope he's doing fine now ☹

there r some wonderful men but on average i just find that w men im much more likely going to clash w them on basic things like boundaries or vulnerability or homophobia or transphobia that women and enbys are just much more likely to be civil on. my bisexuality is tested every day i feel u haha. the dream would be a bi/pan and/or trans man not bc i care about any of those traits but bc those men tend to be more openminded imo. i can be so attracted to a guy but if hes ignorant im just. done. its so unnattractive

#asks #ask #bleuweb

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princessbloosompepperdoolevonyum · 3 years

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(Warning, there are moments where I mention r*pe and d**th threats)

If we effect women’s rights, then we are also effecting trans women’s rights too. If we do this we are hurting women and trans women.

If we say listen to transgender people, but we don’t and speak for them and get angry at every little thing. Then we don’t really care about they feel or think.

If we say there’s no wrong way of being a man or woman, but get mad at them for not being the stereotypes we know. Then we don’t care about who they are.

Trans people are people and we should be respectful towards them. We should not stand up for people who lie about being transgender and hurt other people and get away with their bad actions. They should be hold accountable.

Trans people are just people who are trying to live their best life’s. We should be supporting them and love them for who they are because they’re just people.

No one should give a author death threats. No one should have interview her ex abusive husband. No should threaten someone’s life because they criticize gender. No should make gay and lesbian people feel guilty for not wanting to date someone trans.

No should say all terfs should die or get raped because they’re worried about women’s rights. No one should make trans people evil. No one should make women evil. No one should let men tell women gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans and everyone else in this wonderful rainbow of love what they should and shouldn’t say, what are and aren’t their rights.

And finally. If you have bad friends or in a bad relationship, who do this and try to make themselves look like good person who don’t care about others in a kind or compassionate way, then dump their ass. I’ll be your new friend.

Happy pride everyone. Be kind and loving to everyone.🏳️‍🌈

#pride month #transgender #women’s rights #gay #lesbian #biseuxal #pansexual #and for god sake’s #don’t be a dick #jk rowling #Harry Potter #Percy Jackson

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luesmainblog · 3 years

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so, i've been thinking about this a lot more, and i think i oughta write my thoughts down. i'm not looking to cause any discourse here, just.. thinking aloud, i guess. when i was a little girl, my understanding of the word "lesbian" was "girl who likes girls". i grew up watching a show called Buffy The Vampire Slayer. now, i wasn't really old enough to totally understand everything infront of me, i just thought the whole vampire thing was cool. and in this show, there was a character named Willow, and she loved a girl named Tara. i don't think i even really noticed any difference between their relationship and the straight relationships? i really liked them both, and them being a couple was just A Fact About The Show to me. and while she was with Tara, Willow would often call herself a Lesbian. another fact in my head was that Willow had, in previous season, been with a guy named Oz. so, in my infinite childhood wisdom, it became solidified that being a lesbian was about liking women, and having liked guys before didn't really effect it any. now, the show itself does actually make the distinction that she's exclusive, i just didn't really pay attention at the time. and as i grew up more, i would come to find that the word WAS meant to be exclusively for girls who are attracted to girls and NOT men, and the way willow was written was a product of the biphobia of the time. so, i mentally corrected my definition of the word and moved on. this was before i realized i myself liked girls, so i never identified with the lesbian label myself. ... but, that's not really the end of it, is it? because i would later find out that lesbian DID used to mean "girl who likes girls", with no exclusion necessary. that bi women were a key part of building the lesbian community. but over the course of only about a generation and a half, a lot of things had happened at once that resulted in Bi girls being kicked out of the lesbian community. namely, a combination of the movement to recognize bisexual as A Thing That Exists, and a movement called Political Lesbianism that was all about rejecting men in their entirety. (in many ways, the ancestors of modern terfs; a lot of the misandry and biphobia of the PL movement would feed radfems of the future who wanted a valid-sounded excuse for their transphobia.) by the time i got there, the doors had been sealed shut, leaving any new bi girls completely shut off from a huge section of their history, and a community that would have once welcomed them. when i learned this, i did know that i liked girls. and it felt... awful. it felt like a wonderful community had been stolen from me, and i was too young to say anything about it. so... i didn't. and i never identified as a lesbian. the first queer term i ever identified myself with was Bi. at the time, i was a girl, and i knew that i liked boys, and i'd come to accept that i also liked girls. and while i didn't totally understand nonbinary people at the time, i didn't think that would really effect whether or not i could like someone, either. i wasn't Totally Straight, i wasn't Totally Gay, i was bi! and i was happy to id that way! i would later find the term Pan. at the time, i was... Accepting but Uneducated with gender. and to me, the various explanations i'd seen sounded REALLY accurate to how i felt. i didn't care about gender at all; i liked people for who they were, indiscriminately. i certainly didn't care if they were trans! a huge fight broke out on tumblr between bi and pan, and honestly, it's still going on. it was made extremely clear to me that i had to pick One or The Other, so... i chose pan. ... but... it didn't feel entirely right, either. at the time, i did not know about the Split Attraction Model, and learning about asexuality left me with a lot of uneasy feelings and questions. i knew that i liked people romantically, but i'd never felt any kind of sexual attraction towards any Real, Actual People. on the flip side of that, what i did recognize as "probably attraction?" was aimed wildly in all directions when it came to

the world of fiction. i didn't really know how to identify. for a while i called myself "ace with real people and pan with fictional people". again, i did not know that romantic attraction could be different at the time. i settled on a more solid label. i made a post. tumblr ate me alive for three days straight. i re-closeted myself and went right back to feeling broken. it would be a few months before i learned the term Autochoris, but in that time, i'd at least learn about split attraction and feel more comfortable in that. when i got there, i finally found some peace with myself. not the same as i'd felt before, but... some peace. but, yknow... looking at it all Now, from within the ace community, i find myself with that same terrible feeling again. that feeling that i've had a community Stolen from me. see, in the ace community, it's generally understood that there are different types and levels of ace. someone might read the description of Asexual and think "well, that's Sort of right, but not entirely. what if i work like this?". and usually, there's a more accurate label that they can feel comfortable with! and more importantly, that bigger label- Ace- serves as an umbrella term. you can call yourself Ace and Gray, and Demi, and whatever else might be in your russian nesting doll set of identities. not because you "need to feel special", but because this shit is really complicated sometimes and it's comforting to have sharp accuracy. and there are a LOT of ways to be bi, too. and a lot of people feel that same feeling of "this is MOSTLY right, but here's the thing..." and make their own labels. but they don't get the safety shield that is the russian nesting dolls... because Bi doesn't want to be an umbrella. every single time, if someone has one of those more complicated identities, they're told to "just call yourself Bi". no matter where they sit or what their reasoning, they're told that they're just suffering internalized biphobia, or worse, hurting a 'real' identity by using the term that feels most comfortable to them. and they ultimately feel that they have to make a choice: identify as Bi and deal with having to explain their specifics every single time, or identify as the label they chose and be completely shunned by the bi community. it isn't an easy choice. i call myself panro because there are a lot of bi experiences i just do not relate to. i don't have different types between genders. i don't just not have a preference, gender does not come into consideration in the slightest. i don't think about it at all. i Could, theoretically, come up with why i love girls and why i love boys and why i love insert-nonbinary-gender-here, but ultimately, any reasons i could come up with would be entirely superficial. because the same things are cute on all sides. it doesn't... matter, to me. and i know that there are people who identify as bi while feeling the same way, and that's great! i'm glad they feel comfortable with that! but... i can't shake my need for being Accurate to my feelings. and i can't shake this knowledge that if it weren't for this strictness in the label, i would be identifying as bi and pan, the same way i identify as ace and autochoris. the big doll everyone recognizes, and the little doll hidden away inside, protected until it's safe to show off. .. and were it not for the way the label's changed in such a short time, i'd probably be calling myself a lesbian, too. because i do love girls, and up until pretty recently, i used to be one. in a lot of ways i still am. but i can't use those labels. they're not mine anymore, and they don't want me. i can learn about the history all i want, but i'll never be welcomed in the communities that would have been happy to have me if i'd been born earlier. ... but, hey. 'least i'll always have Ace, right?

#long post #rambles #i am specifically not tagging this with any labels because i do not want to enter discourse. do not drag me into it.#might private later if it causes issues #i survived the acepocolypse of tumblr man i'm too tired to fight people #i got re-introduced to The Discourse recently and i just feel so.... sad and defeated.#like wow i'm not only barred from communities i could have inherited had history gone differently #but i'm also just gonna be widely hated for being honest with myself and using the labels that feel right #i guess that's just the cost of not feeling broken

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