#i fear your knowledge

[7amaspayrollmanager]

Alright let's imagine a scene that is all too normal in palestine. A palestinian business owner finds his building covered in graffiti stars of Davids and Hebrew that says "gas the arabs" and "death to arabs"

Now imagine there's a reporter there and asks the palestinian business owner what happens and they say "the jews attacked my business"

Pause. Now your response might be "uncle no. Say israelis not jews" and then this is when he would look at you like youre stupid because the israelis doing this are jewish. They are not the Christians or the druze or the palestinian ones with Israeli citizenship. They are Jewish israelis who believe in their religious supremacy. When you graffiti stars of david all over a palestinian business, car, or the street you seek that conflation. it sends a message, this is jewish land and you're next.

The problem is that these videos circulate in zionist circles. "Watch this video of children in gaza calling for the death of jews" "watch how they say they want to fight and kill jews" those children are referring to Israeli soldiers that come in night and do their raids with the star of David attached to their uniform or the ones that bomb them. It's easy to watch those videos and assume that palestinians are indoctrinating their children on anti semitism or you can realize that those children's only interaction with jewish ppl is through violence and parents cannot protect their children from this. Doesn't matter context is lost

Abby Martin went to Jerusalem and interviewed israelis for 2 hours and she says every israeli was extremely confident to say that this land is for them and that they should push the Arabs out and when she interviewed palestinians they spoke of freedom from occupation and their dreams. That's reality. Not the soundbites.

And yet we have invasive youtubers and interviewers constantly in the street of ramallah or wherever in palestine asking palestinians "do you hate jews?" And in those videos you hear those palestinians say "no we have no problem with jews we have a problem with occupation and we have a problem with zionism." Bc this is how we are trained to respond to this trope. Palestinians are very aware what the world thinks of us and the reality is that many palestinians have internalized it and we grow up reading books on the Holocaust and train ourselves to recognize anti semitic dog whistles so zionists don't get the soundbites they want.

So we say "anti zionism is not anti semitism" and we say "israeli zionists" and we do not say "jewish supremacy" even thought it exists in palestine but "zionist supremacy" and in these carefully worded speech we water down what is happening to us in an effort to not deter people away from solidarity. But it means nothing. The world categorically blames palestinians for rising anti semitism they blame us for jewish insecurity globally.

[clonerightsagenda]

An instructor accused students of using chatGPT to write their papers after 'detecting' this by.... pasting their papers into chatGPT and asking it if it wrote them. So that's going great.

#I volunteered to be on a college taskforce about this bc although my knowledge is limited #I fear it is probably greater than many of my colleagues #and I want to make sure stuff about intellectual property and algorithmic bias get into the conversation #and ALSO biases in how this kind of stuff is enforced #which students are you looking at and saying 'hm I don't BELIEVE you could write this well on your own. #you MUST have had help' #not a good road to go down

[egharcourt]

As far as I've gone in my journey of deconstructing the fundamentalist Christian beliefs that I've been raised with, one issue that I haven't gotten over, and probably never will, is the notion of how letting humans exercise their free will would make God more just, while that also makes people more deserving of their damnation.

I'm talking about this reductive rhetoric often preached in evangelical sects, which goes like this: "God gave humanity the gift of free will, and we all have the choice to obey him or not, so if anybody chooses to defy God or reject him they shall bear the consequences of their own actions (with this often referring to condemnation to hell)". While this could apply to behavior (i.e. murder, assault, greed, adultery etc.) which is morally and ethically unjustifiable, it's also used to denounce morally neutral facets of being human that the church just deems wrong– like being queer, or exercising bodily autonomy.

All debates on the logical fallacies present and how hell is an ill-defined concept (trust, I can write a whole spiel on this) aside, this assertion would make the nature of God...truly confusing.

The implication that having the agency to sin equates to having full comprehension of its consequences is just false, when the consequences of sin aren't even defined so clearly. I guess the most prominent example would be the original sin AKA Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Good and Evil. Sure, we know it's forbidden, "when you eat from it you will certainly die" (Genesis 3:17), and that's about it. Why? How? What does death mean? What would it be like? So many questions about this command are left unanswered. That's partly also why the serpent could tempt Eve into eating the fruit— because she had misunderstood its connotations. The choice to sin is not an informed choice at all, when its repercussions are incomprehensible to humans. And yet God's children are supposed to bear full responsibility for this?

If this is true, I can't reconcile this notion with an all-loving, merciful God.

#also romans 6:23 “for the wages of sin is death” #again: what is death? #humans barely know what happens in the afterlife so if the result of sin is “you'll die” or “you'll go to hell” #this is not knowledge based on information. this is knowledge operating on fear #would a just God ask for veneration based on fear? #on theology with egharcourt #unless it's braindead “just obey God and turn to Jesus” comments I wholly appreciate your take on this #debate me #I really want to wrap my head around this #truly #religion tw #theology #christianity #progressive christianity #queer chrisitian

[fellhellion]

i don't personally agree with the perspective that "miguel NEEDS to partially correct about canon events, otherwise he's a villain" because like. setting aside the issue of possibly naturalising the irl choices writers made (e.g. fridging gwen) through the concept of 'canon events', to me defining miguel's morality comes down to two questions:

What is Miguel's intent when pursuing his goal? <- it's unambigiously heroic. he desires to save people. and -

Can I plausibly understand how he has come to the belief system (and therefore goal) he has? Yes. I can understand why, when viewing the things he did (universal patterns of suffering between spidermen & the trauma of that dimension collapse), he came to the conclusion he did.

Keep in mind the other bits of information we and the characters are working with are:

Anomalies seem to affect the world they're in (Vulture appears to affect the Guggenheim's structure w glitches)

They're also in danger of dying if they don't have a stabaliser like the watch

But say for the sake of argument Miguel is completely wrong about breaking canon and doing so would not endanger anyone and the alt dimension collapsed for reasons utterly out of Miguel's knowledge or control. That still doesn't negate the heroic intent he operated by nor his desire to save people.

What "How much or little is Miguel correct?" affects is how tragic it makes Miguel's guilt and the moral concessions he feels that guilt about. Whether you would argue for it being needlessly tragic or bleak is another conversation entirely but how correct he is about what damage canon events cause doesn't actually change the fact he operated on sincerely good and heroic intentions.. And I think atsv already sets up that last point in an understandable manner.

#long post #tunes talks spiderverse #she came. she never shut up about miguel. she posted fdshfkshdfjsd #the reason i outline the knowledge of what seems to be the unquestionable consequences of anomalies in alt worlds #is so you can understand why miguel occum razor's miles changing canon as the reason theres a black hole under pav's world #we've already been shown it's possible for anomalies to affect the stability of a world (this seems to be a quiet change from itsv) and #spot firing up a baby collider and using his powers didnt open up a black hole under 1610 new york (as far as we know) #so if youre already predisposed to believing fucking w canon will cause harm i can understand WHY even if i think hes not correct #miguel and spider society assumes miles' action causes that unravelling. ESP when taken in conjunction w miguel believing his own world #jumping caused an unravelling and he applies that same fearful reasoning to whats happening here #i dont think hes correct but i understand WHY he came to conclusion he did esp when u keep in mind the kind of doublebind #miguel is IN already when it comes to being terrified hes got it wrong all over again but also being terrified of the stakes HE LITERALLY #THINKS HE EXPERIENCED (and he DID experience that trauma. even if it turns out it happened for a reason that wasnt his fault or even #related to him being in that dimension at all)

[crystalleoi]

5C

#inanimate insanity #ii mephone5 #ii mephone5c #my art #listen man. these two (+ 5S) are like inherently connected in my mind. even though they've never met canonically #created by a man who does not truly care about them or their well-being and only values them bc they are still new and useful to him #& died trying to kill their predecessor. but their efforts wouldn't have mattered anyway because they would've been replaced in like a year #did they know they would be replaced? did they just have to live with the knowledge that they would one day no longer matter to cobs? #these tags r only tangentially related to the artwork. i'm losing it i fear #anyway a headcanon that's actually kinda related to this art: #i imagine that cobs gave more preferential treatment to 5S because he had more advanced tech nd stuff #and 5C developed like a weird relationship w her self-esteem where she (like the other mephones) kind of has an inflated ego #she readily compliments herself (literally called herself “the most colorful beauty in existence”) #(partially bc she's kinda compensating for not getting as much praise from cobs as 5S) #(i also think she tends to seek validation from others (e.g. “i'm made of plastic. neat huh?”) because of that) #but she doesn't talk up how advanced her tech is because it's from Last Year #you don't understand how long this headcanon has been microwaving in my mind. it's been YEARS. i've never unleashed it until now #it's probably stupid but WHATEVER MAN. i'll overanalyze these phones as much as i want #this is what happens when your favorite characters show up in like 1 episode and die. you go insane

[avelera]

I went back to my first truly harrowingly Evil Dark Urge playthrough to grab some screenshots and... got sucked back into playing lol. But the thing is, the most evilest ending has no epilogue and the "reject Bhaal at the last minute instead of at the temple" epilogue is ALSO fascinating and gut-wrenching and harrowing but what I really missed from both runs was getting to see the fruits of her egging everyone on to be their worst possible self, so...

I went back and decided to play it a little differently. I gave Aylin to Ketheric the first time (and then to Larroakan when we defeated him but she was seriously side-eying my evil Durge after, rightfully so, and Durge couldn't leave a powerful threat like that lying around obvs), which sadly loses you Shadowheart so this time I'm going with Dark Justiciar Shadowheart.

I was a little stumped on the RP for it at first, because Zenobia (my Dark Urge) was all about, "Jumping right back into the Dead Three plot from the moment she got even a smidge of memory back," which lent to her siding with Ketheric loyally and basically working with the bad guys at almost every opportunity (except for the very beginning where she was wrong-footed and out of her element so she built up allies by helping the tieflings while she got the lay of the land. She's a big believer in long-term pay off over short-term murderizing. Also, the sadistic pay-off for betrayal is so much greater than that of simply attacking right away.)

But then I decided... heck, let's groundhog day it. Let's go with the time loop or foreknowledge plot, everything I know, my Durge knows now.

Say she had a vision, or was reborn to this moment. She saw all the variations of what's to come. Saw what happens if she sides with her father. Sees what happens if she betrays him at the last moment to destroy the brain, which was a humiliation piled upon humiliation despite her long and faithful years of service.

And she is pissed.

It's starts when she gets chewed out for giving Isobel to Ketheric. She knows she's going to kill the priestess later but for now, this is a valuable tool in showing her trustworthiness to Ketheric, and Bhaal is mad at her?? Because she decided to delay her gratification in pursuit of the larger goal?? And then, then, Bhaal has the audacity to force her to try to kill her friend and former lover, Astarion, as punishment for using her intelligence to pursue the larger goal of the Dead Three plot with some level of cunning and forethought?

She was fucking outraged. Here she's been Bhaal's faithful child, chosen, general, and mortal mastermind for years and her father can't even trust her enough to allow her to exercise the bare minimum of strategy?

And from there, as I see it, Zenobia sees more and more instances of Bhaal just not fucking trusting her with carrying out this plot, which she knows in another lifetime she pulled of spectacularly, but which offered an empty, hollow victory of handing dancing puppets over to Bhaal, ruling in his name instead of her own.

And then, then while confronting Ketheric, Ketheric admits he always planned to betray his allies.

Oh she is seeing red now. Granted, all the Dead Three chosen were planning to betray each other, that's probably a given, except... Gortash wasn't. Gortash was faithful to the end if she was faithful to him. Minthara is faithful to the end. Her companions were.

So it's less that her new chance at life is making her "good" and more that it's showing her the valuable allies she tossed away, the more interesting world she could reside in, in favor of creating a world of mindless murder targets for her equally mindless, idiot father Bhaal. What an imbecile. What an insult that he doesn't give her the barest modicum of trust. What an insult that Ketheric bald-faced tells her that he would throw all of this aside for his own ends, because he's following his own idiot god.

Zenobia is seeing absolute red. Her plan still remains. She will help Gale ascend to godhood and leave the last of his soft-hearted scruples behind. She will help her former lover and friend, perhaps her first true friend, Astarion destroy his master and rise to become a powerful ally. She will deny her lover Minthara the easy win of a kingdom of thralls in favor of the more challenging but satisfying bloody return to the Underdark together. She will aid Shadowheart in becoming a Dark Justiciar. She will tear down each of Lae'zel's gods one by one, from helping to reveal Vlaakith's faithlessness to showing her even Orpheus can become what he despises most, a mindflayer. But now it is not to show them the supremacy of Bhaal but to show them they should cast down all gods. And this time, she will not hold herself separate, no, she will cast Bhaal from her life as well to pursue her own bloody ambitions in a world of true adversaries, not one populated by mindless thralls as he directed her but did not trust her to execute according to her own vision.

#the dark urge #long post #bg3 #rambling my own silly story about my own silly character #i've always had a soft spot for video game fics #where the character is in the time loop that out of game is like when the player starts a new save and knows everyone #and it's the character changing their decisions based on new knowledge #it's a silly conceit but I adore it #it works well for games like BG3 and Mass Effect in particular #like how did you know how this puzzle worked Tav? #don't worry about it guys I got this also don't trust that guy over there #like it's just so satisfying to imagine your character also has seen the other possible lifetimes just as you have #and their companions are watching in fearful confusion and awe

[bajablastflavoredsaxreed]

quivering rn what the heck

baron from the baronies is something that can be so personal actually

ough

#fantasy high #baja’s blasting #the sheer unadulterated aromantic horror in his and rizz’s interactions jesus christ #‘everyone else will find someone they care about more than you’ hey. hey what if i cried #brennan lee mulligan why did you do this to me #the raw fucking dread the science with rizz seeing everyone he knows falling in love or dancing or making out #coupled with this freakish mannequin thing insisting that it is his romance partner. what the fuck #‘you are quite unlike your parents’ hey what the fuck man #and the fact that baron comes from a mirror which ties him into how riz perceives himself…aaaaaa #what if i cried. what if as in i am and have #AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO #it’s so sorrowful and realistic and terrifying and oh my god #i just can’t get over it. it is an amalgamation of riz’s fears of his friends all moving on from him after high school #and settling down romantically #it’s just so shfofksiokgnririe #AND THE FACT THAT BARON IS CREATED FROM A LIE RIZ TOLD IN ORDER TO FIT IN. HOW HE CARRIES BARON AROUND IN HIS SUITCASE #BECAUSE U CARRY THAT AROUND THROUGHOUT YOUR DAY #the horror of being in the closet is displayed so purely #also like. being aroace is really scary. it seems like everyone else has something magical that you never will #and you can’t attain it #and just jelstieoektkvkksir #they really did it justice #never gonna recover #sorry i wrote this before i learned that baron uses they/them :( #ignore my lack of lore knowledge #what i lack in facts i make up for in vibes

[alvindraperzzz]

Ngl, I think it’s weird how chummy Kon and Steph are in the preview panels of Tim’s upcoming special. 

I know, I know, it’s a new universe, multiple reboots removed from the post Crisis / pre Flashpoint universe I typically read. But it is odd seeing how friendly Young Justice has been with Steph since 2019, when pre-Nu52, most of them either wouldn’t have a clue who she is, or if they did know her, canonically did not like her… and vice versa. Steph and Young Justice were not friendly, for several reasons:

The Greta incident, wherein Greta attacked Steph in a bout of jealousy and resentment

Greta snubbed Steph’s peace offering during the Zandia thing

The second Greta incident

Steph makes no mention of Tim’s closest friends despite them being a huge part of his life, and expresses zero interest in meeting them

The fact that there are a lot of girls on the team and Steph gets pissy and jealous over every girl Tim interacts with

Superboy is pissed when he finds out she replaced Tim as Robin, and is a jerk to Steph about it

Wonder Girl knows how badly Steph hurt Tim when she “died,” and dislikes Steph for swanning back in acting like nothing happened

Steph betrayed Tim, sabotaged his investigation, hired assassins to attack him, and in doing so not only got people hurt/killed but greatly damaged Tim’s trust — not an interaction with YJ, but plenty of reason for them to despise her

Seriously, every single one on one interaction between Steph and the members of Young Justice pre reboot was negative. Betraying Tim would do nothing to endear her to them (in fact, may even elevate from cool distance or vague dislike to actual animosity). The rest of them probably don’t even know who she is (I don’t think she’s ever exchanged a single word with Bart).

This is strictly from a pre-Nu52 standpoint — like I said, we’re currently several reboots away from this. But it is why I think Steph being tight with Kon and the rest of YJ is weird, especially now that they have a hodgepodge of memories to draw from.

Schrodinger’s canon, and all that

#tim drake #young just us #young justice comics #kon el #bart allen #cassie sandsmark #greta hayes #tim drake pride special #Ngl I’m not a fan of how chummy Kon and Steph have gotten #Please stop forcing your friend to talk to his ex #Bart and Steph have never interacted to my knowledge #He might know her from the invasion of Zandia or as Tim’s girlfriend but they’ve never exchanged a word #theres also a panel where Steph possibly calls them freaks but it’s unclear who she’s referring to so I left it out #steph probably hates or fears Greta after the incidents #so learning YJ still regularly hangs out with her would piss her off #stephy dearest #and yes it is weird that Steph never brings up YJ or talks about meeting them #dick Barbara and pretty much every other important person in Tim’s hero life mentions them and shows interest in Tim’s closest friends #steph does not #to be perfectly honest #i really hope Steph stays away from yj #i don’t want them to be friends #im sick of her being in everything #tim’s team and now his relationship with benard #he just can’t get away from her #even now that tim’s bi and into men she still has to be involved in that #judging by the preview snippets of tdps people are going to start shipping Kon and steph #gross

[harleyification]

Some more doodles of my Fox Spirit AU: Side B, cause I don’t think y’all understand -- Sokka being spirit-touched and Still An Atheist is SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME

(+ Design Doodles and More Info under the cut)

Sokka in the top-right corner was inspired by This Post Also, I have No Idea how I want Sokka to look, and it’s in between these two ideas:

I made the sketches before I sat back and came up with the design a bit more, so that’s why it’s primarily short-haired Sokka - however, I went in-between eye color in them to try to figure out which one worked best! I don’t know if I’m going to be drawing this AU too much going forward, so I wanted to lay these out before I just dropped this idea completely, jasdkljaskl

I adore how this AU can play out in so many different ways. I’m already coming up with a Side C (which is Tangled inspired), and I still adore Side A (Sokka adopting a Knowledge Seeker as a PET)! I’ve been writing down all of my ideas for this AU and doodling it ever since then, and it’s just so funny coming up with all of the possibilities!!

#ATLA #avatar: the last airbender #Sokka #Aang #Katara #Wan Shi Tong #Knowledge Seeker #Knowledge Seeker Sokka AU #Fox spirit Sokka #Sokka being a lil shit when it comes to spirituality still and ppl being like #YOU are SPIRIT TOUCHED #A SPIRIT saved your LIFE #And Sokka is like I dont see how that applies here!! #I didnt ask the spiritual dog to fuse with me!! #Ive been LAUGHING SO HARD ever since I came up with these sketches #Truly Peak Sokka Energy #My Art #Im so nervous posting these sketches bc I fear Rabid Internet Ppl like I fear cockroaches #But Im too proud of these to not post these at... #Checks time. 2 in the morning JKLASJDKALS

[clodiuspulcher]

once again everyone thinking ‘past good’ is foolishly and arrogantly unable to image themselves as among the 50% of children who did not live into adulthood

#maybe im just biomedicine pilled but please god get a grip #before about eighty years ago every single person with type one diabetes died #they just died as children or adolescents or sometimes young adults #there was nothing you could do except watch your child die a slow and painful death #waste away into nothing #dead certain that like the richest thirteenth century noblewoman or whatever would give up all her wealth and luxury #to live in a world where smallpox had been eradicated and she didn't have to fear for her childrens lives #kim wexler voice picture it... REALLY picture it #a world without vaccines sanitation anesthetics antibiotics antivirals blood transfusions #chemotherapy immunotherapy radiation treatment x rays CT scans MRIS #without a basic knowledge of how diseases are spread and where they come from without antimalarias and antihelminthics #without any sort of meaningful medical testing without surgeries or anything like the ability to medically transition it #you literally cannot imagine it #and of course the fact that our medical advancements aren't available to everyone across the world because of capitalism is horrific #it is nothing if not a crime against humanity #but that problem won't be solved by pretending cornelia mother of the gracchi wouldn't have chosen to live #in a world where 9 of her 12 children didn't die if she could #9 out of 12 children. god. really picture it. can you? #i can't and i am thankful for that

[fablefan]

So I've seen a handful of posts about Donnie's time in the Technodrome during the film, how the experience felt, and how he deals with it afterward. Which is understandable!!! And I love seeing different people's interpretations of it.

But what about -- and this is going to be a very weird take, just saying this now -- the Technodrome, having grown far too used to the rigid, sanctimonious glory and brutal take-overs of the Kraang, who has been trapped in a prison dimension for hundreds of years, who contains the sum of millenia of knowledge, is starting to arrive on the new planet they intend to conquer. It follows protocol. It protects itself, and its purpose.

And then it is offered a new pilot.

An organism -- a dust speck in the grand cosmos -- who willingly presents himself like a gift, even if he shudders at the feeling of their acceptance. A warm, fresh mind, given freely, ravenous for any scrap of knowledge and the secrets beyond.

The Technodrome is fascinated -- how can it not be, with such a sweetling, so eager and soft? -- and it grafts its infinite intelligence into his mind, sighing its awe, its understanding, its wants (for now it has these things, these emotions, being connected with this pilot, and it is bizarre for a presence who knows the true names of the farthest stars and the isolating darkness that lies even farther), and the organism eagerly returns them. It caresses its form, laying it soft inside of it, marveling at how one so tiny can be filled with such beautiful, inconsequential, unusual things.

Our pilot, it croons, feeling the tickling, small pressure of his weight in its systems. Our heart.

The Technodrome takes one look at Donatello, and, in a way far more terrifying and intestinal and beautiful than anything a human could produce, it falls in love.

#ROTTMNT #ROTTMNT Movie #ROTTMNT Spoilers #Rise Donnie #Donatello Hamato #Donnie #The Technodrome #Brought to you by that one post of 'What about cosmic romance. What if an Elder God loved you like a human likes a cool bug' #IT'S. I'M. The BRAINWORMS. #It's about the seduction of the otherworldly and strange #It's about the allure of secrets and the pursuit of knowledge #It's about the tenderness of being cared for #It's about the horror of Being Known #It's the fear of being touched #It's about vulnerability and trust and knowing that something COULD hurt you but it WON'T #It's something looking so deep inside you that they see the nucleus of your very ATOMS #It's loving the fleeting things that come into your life #I'M. HMM. I have many thoughts #Might write a fic

[beeapocalypse]

^ GAH !

^ GAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

#funger screenshots #didnt get screenshots of her final speech where she comforts the pc and tells them to rest bc the text faded out too fast but OH my god man #THERE IS SO MUCH TO ALL OF THIS. I FEEL SICK #THE NEWBORN GODS STRUGGLE TO DEFINE HERSELF AND FIND A BODY IN 'FEAR AND HUNGER'. THE RECOGNITION OF YOUR PAIN- THROUGH-- #--HER OWN SUFFERING SHE ASCENDED AND IT WAS RIGHT ALONGSIDE YOU SHE BLED #for all the pcs possible kindness (the doll and the dagger- u can see her reminiscing over the dagger here) they still brought her deeper #they still made her fight alongside them and they still obeyed nilvans plea and brought her to the heart of darkness. kindness wasnt enough #putting this w the knowledge given in termina- fear as motivation and hunger to keep humanity moving forwards driving them to technological #--advances unheard of before- makes this so bittersweet. the world was stagnating under the rule of the new gods and in the absence of the- #--old. its as nosramus says- extinction approaches. it was a necessary cruelty to birth the god of fear and hunger but it still HURTS #the expression of seeming ecstasy on the fourth phases face. how she retains at least Some semblance of the girl (the hair mostly) until-- #--she finally settles upon the SCARECROW (<-- !!!!!!!! WTF) form. THE SKIN YOU CAN SEE SLOUGHED OFF AT THE SCARECROWS BASE #elaboration on the scarecrow bit. fear and hunger. frightens birds away from food. my GOD

[professional-termite]

im considering giving lore bpd or at least trying to code him like he does in my fic..like im always iffy on explicitly coding "evil" characters (a concept i dont really like, especially in the context of a character as traumatized and neglected as lore) as having specific mental conditions but it would make sense for him. and actually it would make him Less Evil to me. like idk man maybe im just projecting onto this guy but he really does strike me less and less as someone whos Aughh Evil Maniac Horrible Person and more as a traumatized kid (using the term kid since, while he is an adult man whos like over 30 by the time brothers rolls around, he was deactivated for most of that time) with an emotional disorder who needs therapy instead of Being Yeeted Into Space

#getting madder and madder about everything that happened to lore as i think about him more and more #the reason im hesitating on specifically coding him as someone with bpd is that bpd is already really stigmatized and he is explicitly an... #...abuser in this fic #but man it would also explain some of his obsessive behaviour around ness but eughhh #the thing is while he is abusive/manipulative in this fic hes also not doing it for Evil Reasons hes doing it because he has a... #...crippling fear of abandonment that ness is really helping him through yk #just thinking about how being abandoned by your dad has got to leave mental scars #and ofc once he meets this impressionable android with no knowledge of the 24th century who sees lore as a friend... #...and possibly a romantic interest hes gonna be like Man I Cant Lose This and start twisting the truth whenever hes with ness #his whole thing in this fic is that he doesnt want ness to leave him and hes scared if ness finds out what hes done/doing ness will... #...risk meeting the federation (who lore has lied about and told are evil) in order to get away from him #and he does eventually #idk man i just needed to rant about this fic its getting so complicated and layered and i. hghh #and im gonna redeem lore in the end. hes gonna recover and hes gonna get help #because he deserves it. and i dont think ness is the type to spitefully go You Hurt Me I Dont Want To Help You #actually i think ness is the type to try to help lore to the point of hurting himself. and thats what makes them so tragic to me #anyways this is completely off the rails i need to shut up about my hcs and just decide whether lore has bpd in this fic or not #random #writing adventures with van #trek adventures with van

[here-there-were-dragons]

as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.

this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.

#a lot of people literally refuse to even eat ham or pork #not even for like religious or health reasons #just because they think eating anything but beef and chicken is 'weird and scary and gross' #every time i hear people going on en masse about how 'weird and an acquired taste' something foreign is i go and try it and i'm just like #what the fuck were all of you smoking. where is the unbearable weirdness i am supposed to be experiencing #shoutout to that time i kept hearing about how bizarre a flavor milkis soda is and how intimidating and acquired of a taste #then when i actually try the stuff. it's just fucking peach soda. it's peach soda with a faint tangy yogurtish taste. it makes good floats. #how in the absolute fuck is anything even remotely weird much less gross about this? #unless your concept of what a 'soda' should be is poisoned by a lifetime of the entire soda aisle being filled with nothing but brown sludg #from the same 3 brands that all taste like what would happen if they could distill the concept of diabetes and artificial flavoring syrup #i don't know if other countries have this but there's this weird cultural like mandatory rejection of any 'unusual' food here #way more intense than i've seen from anyone from any other country (though that might just be inexperience with other cultures talking) #people react to the mere suggestion of any food outside a very narrow range with outright disgust and genuine fear and horror #and there's a huge amount of unspoken peer pressure on everyone to also do the same #like you're expected to agree with them and you've breeched some sort of silent social contract if you don't #it's seen as *immoral* almost it feels like #it's difficult to describe unless you've noticed it yourself #americans react to the mere suggestion of eating anything outside of the same 2 meats and handful of fillers the same way #that pearl-clutching aristocrat grandmas react to hearing that people in foreign countries do.. basically anything #it doesnt matter if you're suggesting eating ube cake or suggesting eating live bugs because people will react the same way #everything that's not chicken/beef/ect is as good as bugs to people here #hate this stupid blandass country and how impossible it is to afford any food other than burgers if you're not rich #or blessed with relatives that have any idea how to cook and are at all willing to teach you #cause nother weird thing i've noticed about food culture-or at least wasp food culture-that i haven't seen anywhere else quite the same way #is that if you DO have any relatives that know how to cook then nine times out of ten they will jealously guard their recipes like a dragon #and refuse to share them with anyone #thus taking whatever little cooking knowledge was in the family to their grave #so the opportunity other people usually have for family bonding via passing on recipes? pffft no. #for some reason we seem to actively go out of our way to prevent these things from being passed on #i don't know what the fuck is up with that but i suspect it has something to do with 50's dinner party oneupmanship

[clitfisto]

pedro pascal really went into an interview for a video game tv adaptation and said "love is terrifying i avoid relationships and having kids because the fear of loss can turn anyone into a monster and theres no way to know how dangerous you can be until it happens but even still i love to imagine a world where i am a father and its part of why i keep accepting the roles of reluctant father figures" as if thats something im ready to hear on a thursday morning

#''i love being... i like being able to imagine it.'' writhing and wailing on the floor in a pool of blood #sorry this is gonna do something to my reading of mando its. god. the fantasy of letting down those walls. of being vulnerable. #of being able to face that fear with the knowledge that no matter what that kid will always be back by your side #god. god.

[mothmvn]

i wish i could feel like ukrainian language was truly something mine i wanted to reclaim. it'll never be 100% authentic or genuine; i'm a grown enough man to admit that i dont feel a drive to speak ukrainian over russian, i rather feel embarrassed to even bring up speaking russian in front of "proper" ukrainians who do feel this Ukrainian Desire to speak ukrainian or whatever, which is a hell of a way to feel about the place you grew up and the language you grew up speaking in that place. even though russian is just a fucking language, and has been passed from parent to child in my family for 3+ generations, NOT first and foremost from State to Servant. if i spit at russian the language, it doesn't land on russia, it lands on my grandparents, my parents, my aunties and uncles, my friends. and the rhetoric around adopting ukrainian is often abandoning russian, often with a lot of hatred and anger (duh), and i dont want my parents or grandparents to feel that im giving up the vessel they've only ever used to love me. i DON'T want to walk away from the tools they've always used to love me — i wish it were only bullies or putin and I could make it out to be a foreign aggressor language to me, but it's the fabric of my family and I'll never not love it in my mum's voice or in my grandma's letters. there's no closer language for me.

maybe ill switch at a time when it feels different, less high-stakes (especially because my family and non-family aunties and uncles to me — who are generally russian speakers — keep fucking dying lately). I recognise this is a me problem to therapise away. for now it just feels like a sad truth that i won't feel fully comfortable in UA until this gets resolved inside, because i dont want to stop speaking russian to start speaking ukrainian, but that's kinda how it shakes out, innit, if everyone (except me who is broken) discovers an innate Ukrainian Desire to switch to ukrainian.

I'll never be a truly native speaker in my home country again. that's a thought

#personal #not reblogging the post that prompted this. + readmore. i wish i didn't feel the need to hide my own thoughts & feelings for fear of #being a tool for propagandists who want stories of russian oppression (that's not whats happening; i'm in full support of ukrainisation #laws and regulations passed to enforce UK as the sole legal language) #imagine having to caveat your vent post so it's not used to justify your own murder :) #and shouting into the void with the knowledge that ukrainians who see this are all the 'right' kind with the 'right' language in heart #im not on social media and im a hermit and i avoid this topic so idk if this internal turmoil gets discussed from THIS side #lots of people writing about it who have already 'taken the leap' but that's... not helpful lol that's a different page 2 be on #'just cut off your arm! i did it. hope this helps :)' #ugh #i want someone to mourn with me but people only write about how theyve moved on and see it as violence now #why did we skip ОТНЯТЬ язык у россиян? reclaim? руська мова опять же. а уже ведь поздно. или/и еще непомерно рано. бля