#i feel bad making them wait months

[moronicromantic]

Someone asked for a post on punctuation months ago. I haven’t gotten to it until now. My apologies. I’m using proper punctuation here because it’s meant to help. Most of this information is just what I remember learning. There are probably more uses for each section, but I can’t describe everything well enough. Keep in mind that this is American English, not British English. British English and American English have different words and rules. I learned English as a second language, yes, but I learned American English. Please be mindful of that as you continue.

Question marks ( ? ) are used to indicate a question. You don’t need a full stop when using a question mark.

Is that my shirt?

Why are you wearing my shirt?

Exclamation marks ( ! ) are used at the end of a sentence to indicate a strong feeling of emotion. They add emphasis to the sentence. You don’t need a full stop when using an exclamation mark.

I can’t believe it!

That’s amazing!

Semicolons ( ; ) can be used as a replacement for a period (full stop) when you have two closely linked independent clauses next to each other. Independent clauses can stand as their own sentences. They don’t necessarily need any extra information to make sense.

Call me tomorrow; you can give me an answer then.

You can also use a semicolon before words like however, but only when they introduce a complete sentence and when you put a comma after.

Bring any two items for the charity event; however, toiletries and shoes are in short supply.

Semicolons are also used when there are commas within a list.

We will be traveling to Rome, Italy; Nice, France; Madrid, Spain; and Berlin, Germany.

Colons ( : ) are not the same as a semicolon. They are explanations of different things. They may introduce a list, an explanation, or a quote. Colons can connect independent clauses with lists and nouns.

Here is what I need: paper, a ruler, paint, and a pen.

If there are two or more complete sentences following a colon, capitalize the beginning of each sentence.

My mom taught me three rules: Be honest. Be vigilant. Never hurt others.

Dashes ( — ) add emphasis, just as many other types of punctuation do. However, they can also change the tone of a sentence. They usually indicate a dramatic pause or an interruption of some sort.

You’re the one, the only one, I want to marry.

You’re the one—the only one—I want to marry.

Dashes can separate unnecessary information from the rest of a sentence.

Maria—my friend from tennis—got married on Wednesday.

Dashes can show an interruption in dialogue.

Eloise screamed, “Help! I need someone to help! My sister is fall—“

Dashes are also used to show a duration of time.

It is from 1:35–6:25.

Hyphens ( - ) bring words together.

They can connect individual words to make different phrases.

State-of-the-art.

Off-campus.

Hyphens can help to make new words, like original compound verbs.

Video-games.

Hyphens can also be used to connect two last names from different people.

Mary Smith-Johnson.

Arianna Rivera-Hughes.

Quotation marks ( “ “ ) are used most often in dialogue. Capitalize the first word if you have a complete quotation.

Marianna said, “There is nothing more unfortunate than a man who is too blind to see his faults but has eyes perfect for seeing women.”

If you are continuing a sentence, don’t capitalize the quoted material.

Marianna told us that it is “unfortunate” to see a man who is “too blind to see his faults but has eyes perfect for seeing women.”

Parenthesis ( ) are used to enclose clarifying information that isn’t necessary to understand the sentence. Periods go inside parenthesis when the whole sentence is in the parenthesis. Otherwise, the period goes outside.

Please read my research. (You'll be shocked.)

Please read my research (you'll be shocked).

Commas ( , ) can be used to separate a list of things.

We need to buy apples, blueberries, bananas, and strawberries.

I have been to Japan, Taiwan, Italy, and France.

The sentence above is also an example of the Oxford comma. This is the comma used before “and” in lists.

Without the Oxford comma: We need to buy apples, blueberries, bananas and strawberries.

With the Oxford comma: We need to buy apples, blueberries, bananas, and strawberries.

Commas are also used to to separate independent clauses that are joined by any of these conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet.

The performance was over, but the crowd refused to leave.

I spent an hour explaining the equation, yet my brother still didn’t understand.

Commas can also be used to separate nonessential or nonrestrictive clauses from the main clause.

The dog ran down the road, wagging its tail.

My brother, who used to be a teacher, is retiring in May.

Commas are also used to introduce and interrupt dialogue.

Marianne laughed, “I have never seen you so devastated. And for what? This?”

“I don’t understand,” Laura sniffled, “why you have such little empathy.”

#grammar lessons for us all #grammar #punctuation #english #ela #esl #english as a second language #now for the typical fanfic tags so i can reach people 🙏 #remus lupin #sirius black #the punisher #spencer reid #the darkling #criminal minds #marvel #harry potter #peter parker #harry osborn #someone asked for this #i feel bad making them wait months #it’s been a rough year guys 💀

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month? #can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me? #and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends. #and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once. #and that's not me. that's not who I want to be. #i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[castielafflicted]

distinct possibility that things are going to start to get very bad for me in a few days because of medication reasons </3

#zeph posting #my birth control refill got denied bc i hadnt had an appointment in too long but i had no idea about that ahead of time #and i just took my last dose #i scheduled an appointment and the guy says they probably will do another refill since its a few weeks out #but! its not a sure thing #and i wont know until at the latest thursday #and so ! #this is the thing that keeps my mental health stable even moreso than the mood stabalizer #and also makes sure my physical health doesnt get horrifically worse for like 10 days a month #over 10 bc i have to recover too #so ill either be fine! or have to wait until like january 15th before i feel okay again #this is very bad to happen at christmas bc i have to be around people and do things #so i just. god if they dont give me a refill #if u see me say im posting from the ER after christmas its bc i dont have them and got suicidal </3

[magentagalaxies]

having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not

#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th #idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self #like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me #but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in #but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them #and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad??? #which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended??? #but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????'' #even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half #if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it #(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out) #but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender) #and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting #which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he #and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that #but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender) #was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels #scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself #which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing. #so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender #bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine #and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it #but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college

[k1rishiki]

.

#band teacher asks my class abt our musical backgrounds > i'm the only one there who Doesn't Have One > he's confused why i signed up for the #class > i have to awkwardly explain that i want to be a vocaloid composer and they no longer offer music theory > tell my dad abt how i had #to awkwardly describe what vocaloid is to my teacher > realize my dad has a v flawed idea abt what vocaloid is despite the many. many years #i've been enamored w it > try making him listen to vocaloid songs to fix his perception > have vocaloid songs in my youtube recs afterwards #> tailor shop of enbizaka shows up in said recs > make a bitchy tumblr post abt disliking the evillious novels on principle > feel bad for #not knowing evillious well enough to properly hate on it > evillious autism hits > go on evillious tiktok bc i'm curious > someone is #showing off the riliane dollfie dream > god i wish that were me dot jpeg > another person is cosplaying riliane > god i wish that were me #dot jpeg the sequel > think abt how badly i want that riliane dollfie + want to cosplay her constantly > there are only so many thoughts ab #riliane dollfie + cosplay one can have before they start branching out to other characters > 'the miku dollfie would make a killer prop for #a gallerian cosplay' > 'oh my god i have to get the miku dollfie and cosplay gallerian' > look into the different available dollfies > #check how much they cost secondhand > start trying to figure out how many dollfies i can budget for in a year > it's been hours #> i NEED a dollfie so much it's unreal > not even specifically the miku dollfie bc she's insanely expensive 2nd hand and i want to wait for #the inevitable rerelease > type moon & haruhi suzumiya dollfies tend to go for ~500usd > i NEED a dollfie so bad it's unreal #a few months and one of them will be mine. 'which one?' the one that i can get the best deal on when the time comes #romeo.txt

[steakout-05]

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people- #-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were- #-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone- #-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :( #i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on- #-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help. #unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that- #-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also- #-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes- #-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything'' #and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think- #-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' #and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child. #be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows- #-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11- #-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

[diseaseriddencube]

#rave ramblees #akudama drive #some bathroom cosplay because I know a certain someone would enjoy that 🥰 #I wanted to wait till night to go take some photos by some cool architecture by my house #but then I realized some things #1. my parents would see me walking out of the house in this through the cameras and it would look very very questionable #2. walking through the neighborhood in THIS is so embarrassing I'd die #so the reality of owning this stupid cosplay is starting to get to me #like it's only good for taking a photo now and then #and it's so hot I think I'd actually get heat stroke wearing it to a convention #< it's really only wearable in -150000°C weather #though this is a good way to realize that perhaps my dream of owning a fursuit should be reconsidered a lot #< because those are even worse heat wise and also that cost literal thousands #I mean I guess every cosplayer has had doubts about their cosplays #if they buy them it's like you spent a lot on something only good for photos or cons #so it's a ridiculous purchase in general #and for the ones that spend months crafting their cosplays I bet it feels even more worthless once you're past the pride #though $100~ isn't even that bad for a cosplay actually #even at my low hours low wage job I make 3x that in a single month #so it's already paid off plenty. esp since I spent MONTHS considering getting it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i #shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and #i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but #like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure. #whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i #should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh. #i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i #do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18 #days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno #how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do #something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do #i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its #like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be #miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do? #try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can #tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends? #id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st #roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can #never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated #unrelated

[wild-at-mind]

Being in a long distance relationship long term is so fucked up. For context for people in bigger countries I'm not talking flying distance from each other, I'm talking about 3 hrs apart on the train, so not that far arguably. But still far enough that our lives are almost completely separate in the practical sense, no matter how much we talk on the phone or meet halfway. When one of us stays over at the other's place we are still guests in each other's homes. I still don't know what cohabiting would be like and what a comfortable normalicy of being in each other's lives in person every day would be like. We're coming up to our 11th anniversary. I don't want to break up with him!!!! I love him deeply and I've never met someone I'm as compatible with as him. I've never been in love like this and I'm not easy to know, and yet he does know me and likes what he sees. I just feel I am stuck and I am frustrated that my sex life is like once every 3 months. I still don't even know how often we would have sex if we lived together, we haven't had the chance to find that rhythm. When we see each other there's no time to do any more involved stuff it's just getting off. Basically everytthing we've talked about has to stay in the realm of fantasy because there's never any fucking time.

I am trying I said to him- you need to do covering letters and things, you can't just send your CV that has never worked. He's the one who wants out of his current job, and out of his town, but applying for jobs is so fucking hard when you're working full time and trying to do things you love to not get fucking depressed. See I understand those things because I would feel the same way. If he moved here we could find a place together and I could find it out if I actually can live with someone else and stay mentally well. I'm getting too dependent on living alone in order to stay mentally well and it worries me.

Sorry to vent. I'm not looking for advice it's just venting.

#yeah it's embarrassing for a 34 yr old to go on about soul mates but i realy believe we are #i wouldn't be in this situation if we weren't really for real great together because i'm old enough to do right by myself #i can wait and in understand it's hard for someone neurodivergent to make big changes #it would be hard for someone neurotypical! so it must be even worse for him and it's so easy for him to get overwhelmed and crash emotional #as you can see from my rambles i have my baggage too like massive baggage #i worry though because he came to stay like 3 weeks ago for a few days and i was wound up and uncomfortable having a guest #even though it was him- i was hormonal so that could have been it but it's fucking scary #because you just think 'i wish i was alone in my own home right now doing my comfortable routine' #i'm stressing about washing extra dishes but my ocd requires that i'm always the one to wash them #i just want ot not be bothered and yet i feel like shit because i have no idea if it's always going to be like this or just a bad few days! #even though we have fun when we go out and stuff #the living together thing is really stressing me and i only have the last time it happened 3 months ago which i can barely remember #as reference for how i normally feel when he's here #ooooooof :( #fyi he doesn't want to do polyamory as is his right- it's not for everyone #and he has much more to lose in the dating/casual sex area than i would if i did it but i won't go into why

[kosmicfeelings]

I wait for you

;Alex G

#alex’s diary #I knew there would be a day where we wouldn't be together anymore.. I just didn't think it would be that soon. #I'll never understand the ending of us. I'll never understand how it came to be. I'll never understand any of it #I wish they'd understand why I'm upset at them. The ending of us left me confused and lost. Wondering why did you go quiet on me #quiet on me without saying anything before closing the door? #I reread our text messages and I don't understand. How can I ever understand when you said these certain things to me? #To make me feel so loved and cared for and understood only for you to leave in a way. #While I'm trying to trick myself into believing that you still love me - I know you don't. not anymore. #You said you'd always love me.. but oh what a sweet lie that was you gave to me. I was stupid enough to fall for it. #I foolishly still hope that some small part of you still loves and misses me. #But incase you find yourself wanting to come back.. know I'll still be here.. waiting for you. #I meant it that day when I said I'll wait for you. #There will be a day where I've moved on.. but I'll still love you nonetheless.. I'll still find bits and pieces of me missing you #How can I move on after the things we've been through? I mean.. I know I will one day but today is not that day #I'm still lost and confused and upset. #I know I wasn't the best for the last few months we talked... but all I needed was help.. not from you obviously.. I just needed a therapis #Which I have found and she's helping me. but I wish you didn't have to walk away. I wish you didn't have to call me draining. #I'm sorry I was.. I wish I wasn't like that. Maybe if I was someone different you'd still be here. #I want to stop loving you so bad but I can't. it feels impossible to stop loving you. I hate it. Do you want the same but can't get it? #I know you once loved me so that should be enough. #I wish it was just me and you again. I wish it was just us. I miss when it was. #I hope wherever you go you find happiness and love. I hope you forever chase your dreams and that you catch them one day #I thank you for everything that you have given me. #I'm sorry we ended the way we did. I wish we didn't have to come to end. #But sometimes things must end for the world to become bigger. For us to follow a new path. For us to grow and blossom bigger than before #Just know. even though I'm upset and confused. I'll always love and miss you. and I'll wait for you.. I'll wait for you till we meet again #no matter how long it takes. I'll wait for you. #im sorry for everything. #I think I'll always miss you forever like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky

[heybaetae]

.

#i've been in a manic state for over a month #haven't slept in my own bed for 30 days #was barely eating/sleeping the first half and now i'm eating/sleeping too much #i was even off twitter for two weeks which is so hilariously unlike me #said i was taking a gif hiatus because my brain was so unhealthy #then turned around and started making/posting MASS amounts of gifsets (published and drafted) for very little payoff #like. More often than i usually do to the point where i feel like it's overwhelming or annoying or looks desperate but hey maybe i am #for the serotonin #except nobody reblogs shit which. Well you know how that goes #it is what it is but it's also making me feel so so so low #but i can't stop either because it's the only thing keeping my brain off of everything #i also recorded that voiceover video of my gif process but i don't think i'm gonna post it because i hate my voice and my overall Being rn #and publishing something like that would be inviting literally anyone to have a negative thought or opinion of my voice or my personality #which is a big No Thank You atm #even tho i have nice followers i also have total dickwads waiting to jump me lately for the stupidest shit lol #so the timing is just bad bc everything else is bad my mental health is bad my self esteem is bad #my gifs and the engagement on them is pretty bad without me reblogging them 50 times myself but we ball #it's all just!!!! it all feels Bad i just want to feel sane lol

[sugarsugarmp3]

i turn 21 on monday and i just know im not going to enjoy this weekend at all...

#BIG vent in tags #the last two months have been honestly some of the worst of my life i am always always thinking about this rly shitty thing happened #and now i have to go home for my birthday weekend which i know i should be happy about and it is a good thing #but i just really dont want to go and i feel like a bad person for feeling that way #im doing better than someone i know and i need to go home and be there for them #i wanted to be in my apartment and relax with my friends #ive had 4 midterms this week and i am just exhausted with everything #and its not like it being my brithday will make my weekend bc thats literally impossible #and i feel so shitty about feeling this way bc im not the one who needs help right now and my bday shouldnt even be a priority in my family #bc we have bigger problems rn #but i still wish it was better. plus today sucked #i just am always awkward with people and i wish i was better at social stuff and ive felt rly lonely bc i only hve a few good friends #and trying to make friends is so impossible bc it seems like i keep doing the wrong thing and not being able to vibe with people #rn im just thankful for labs bc having constant lab partners are the only social interactions i get in almost all my classes #this girls would sit next to me in genetics and we would talk but i hvent seen them in a few weeks and i dont know their names #and im not great with faces so i cant even go up to them if i see them and i wouldnt even know what to say if i did #i see the same people in my classes but im sure they think im weird bc ive never talked with them but i always accidentally make eye contac #and one girl in 4/5 of my classes i sometimes talk with but i dont even know if she likes me and i acciendetnally made eye contact with her #while waiting for a lecture to start but then made no attemot to talk to her bc i thought itd be awkward and she probably thought i was #ignoring her #its just this week. its been so so shitty i dont know how to change thus

[myfirstandlast]

going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly

#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing #because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now #things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life #i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own #and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before #i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own #i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just #seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way #and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown #but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it #i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself #it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me #and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have #i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming #but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday #i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments #it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed #it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured #i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die

[chradi]

If there ever comes a time in the future where I’m like “oh yeah, I think I want another dog” Just fucking shoot me. Don’t fucking let me get another dog

#I have a terrible memory and no object permanence so im scared ill forget just how fucking insane living with dogs makes me feel #and ill see a cute puppy and go 'oh maybe it wont be that bad this time :o)' #you know. like a clown #jen rambles #we've been cleaning the carpets in the house CONSTANTLY for the past weeks?????????????????????????????? #either del will piss because he sees us going outside. stresses out???? because?? and pee #or annie has just been peeing randomly im guessing because of jealousy towards padme/marking #im gonna rip off all my hair and my scalp with it thank you #more like jen whines #my brain can literally not wrap itself around the fact that a 3 month old kitten knows to piss and shit in a box. #and a 2yo dog still doesnt know how to wait to be taken outside #AND LET ME SPECIFY. HE DOES. WE LEAVE THEM ALONE 8 HOURS A DAY WHEN WE WORK. #and no problem. but it happens when we're here????????????????? shoot me in the cock man

[angeltism]

oopsies. <- considering yes, yet another two pj.sk fragments

#➳ the fool speaks #ykw if i confirmed them it would actually make so much sense #I've had a feeling since I installed the game in August that i was in wxs. i could just never pinpoint which of the sillies my feelings #were coming from. yknow. #and same thing with l/n for the past handful of months #anxiously checking if anyone i know is already the two tho bc i uh er uhm errrr yeah #usually i will consciously make the decision to just ignore a character if i think me confirming them as a part of my soul #would lead to some unpleasant stuff w moots or situations where i look bad (staring at the fact i would like to not have 3000 hsr fragments) #same thing might happen w pj.sk #mafu. haru. the other two. yyyyeah. #WWWAIT HOLY- AHAHAH WAIT NO I JUST REALIZED. #that means I'd have a fragment in ALL the groups except 4 vbs #was my soul playing pok e mon gotta catch em all in my past existences what the scallop /lh /j