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#and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before
myfirstandlast · 3 months
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going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly
#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing#because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now#things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life#i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own#and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before#i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own#i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just#seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way#and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown#but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it#i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself#it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me#and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have#i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming#but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday#i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments#it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed#it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured#i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die
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sadhours · 10 months
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tw: death, angst, alcoholism, sad. this is just sad im sorry
“I’m sorry, son,” Neil says, his voice softer and kinder than Billy’s ever heard.
He’s numb. He can’t actually believe it. Nothing feels real. Billy can’t be sure he’s actually sitting on the couch, can’t be sure Susan’s hiding in the kitchen, can’t be sure Max is locked away in her room. Can’t fathom that he’s 2,000 miles away from home.
“Her funeral is next Saturday. We can try to make it,” Neil continues, “But if we can’t, your aunt said she would send you some of her ashes.”
Billy’s frozen. The last time he ever saw her replaying in his mind.
Rosemary stood at the door, a suitcase packed by her feet and six year old Billy was curious why she hadn’t packed him one.
“I promise,” she ran her fingers through his hair, “I’ll come get you. I have to leave now but I’ll be back in two days and you can come live with me and Auntie Diane.”
He was sobbing, angry and seething.
“No, Momma,” he blubbered, “Don’t go!”
Rosemary heaved a big sigh. It was now or never. She had to time this right or Neil would catch her leaving.
“Baby,” she cooed, squeezing Billy close to her, “I’m coming back for you. Two days. You can wait for me.”
She kissed his cheeks, five to each one when Billy notices his mom is crying too. He clings onto her shirt so tightly, she has to forcefully pull his fingers away. She squeezes his little fists in her own, eyes trained on his wet, blue ones.
“Two days, baby.”
Rosemary opens the door, runs to Auntie Diane’s car and Billy runs out after her. He’s screaming for her to stop but she doesn’t. Auntie Diane drives away with Rosemary hanging out the window, “Two days!”
Neil finds him on the lawn not ten minutes later, crying hysterically. He picks up his son, carries him inside and sets him on the couch. Neil’s like a tornado afterwards, storming to the master bedroom and between his sobs, Billy can hear drawers slamming. Then Neil’s angry voice.
“That cunt!” he growls, “That worthless fucking whore.”
Billy curls up in a ball on the living room carpet, hiccuping while he stares at a bloody stain on the floor. He remembers how it was made, his mom flinging a plate at his dad. Remembers how it sliced Neil’s hand open when he tried to dodge it. Remembers how he tried to help his mom scrub it the next day, how it wouldn’t lighten and with time, turned into a deep reddish brown. Billy scratches at his arms as he cries, furniture crashing in the master bedroom.
Two days came and went, without Rosemary returning. Summer break. Neil took the week of work to watch Billy. He kept looking out the windows, his face twisted in anger. Billy called his Auntie Diane’s number ten times a day. No answer.
It’s a week later when he finally gets an answer. He’s hiding in the kitchen cabinet. Cries to his momma. Tells her he misses her. She says she’s coming to get him soon.
She never came back. Billy never knew why. Why she couldn’t take him.
“How?” his voice is shaky, unsure of itself. Sounds far away in his ears.
“She had cancer. Liver,” Neil’s voice is gruff again. He thinks about the bottles of vodka she used to hide around the house. Billy’s chest feels like it’s splitting open. He has to get out of this house, as soon as possible.
He stands, pushes passed Neil and for the first time in eleven years, Neil lets him leave without a single question. Billy finds himself at a liquor store, his fingers shake as he grabs the plastic bottle. His eyes scan over the the red accented label. The same label he used to find in the toilet tank when he was a kid.
The quarry is the best place to drink alone. He sits on the dirt in front of his car, cracks open the bottle of Popov and lifts it to the sky.
“To you, momma,” he chokes out.
Billy swallows back the fiery liquid, understands why she loved it so much while it burns down his throat and spreads a comfortable heat in his chest.
“I hated you,” he hopes she can hear him, hopes that somehow she can watch over him. He talked to her a lot, in his head, out loud when he was alone. Now he has a weird sense of comfort, like she’s here now. “For a long time. I never understood why you couldn’t just take me with you. I would’ve rather took care of you than deal with him.”
He chokes out a sob, furiously rubbing his fists against his eyeballs.
“God,” he laughs through the tears, a maniacal laugh, “You fucking bitch! What a fucking joke.”
Another swig of the cheapest vodka known to man. Billy wants to get so drunk, so shitfaced and wrap his Camaro around a tree. Wants to be reunited with his mom. Life’s a sick fucking joke. He’s freshly eighteen. His mom should be alive, should be around. It’s not fucking fair.
“Did you ever try?” he asks, “Did you ever want me? I remember that story you used to tell me, about when I was born. About how I opened my eyes and looked up at you and you said you finally felt whole.”
Billy sobs again, “Did you feel empty when you left? Did you hate yourself for not taking me?”
The clouds move slowly as he gazes up, tries not to think about how possibly he’s just talking to himself and she can’t actually hear him. That she’s just gone and there’s nothing and that’s it. You die and you’re dead and gone, just memories. Billy suddenly clutches at his necklace, brings it to his lips and kisses it.
“I love you,” he blubbers out, “Fuck, I love you.”
“Remember when you would take me surfing?” he hiccups, “Dad made me stop. Haven’t done it since the last time you took me.”
He’s silent for a while, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. It’s all so fucking surreal. He always wondered if it’d be easier if she was dead. But he’s never felt so god damn hopeless in his life.
He lifts the bottle of Popov again, laughing again.
“Got your favorite,” he sniffles, “I get it, a little bit. Why you ran off, why you drank so much. He would’ve killed you. I think I remind him of you. I think that’s why he fucking hates me so much. A reminder of what he lost.”
Billy sighs, takes another plentiful swig and sinks down on his back.
“Wonder why he doesn’t just kill me,” he mumbles, “Maybe he thinks he can just push me to do it my fucking self.”
He’s silent again, can hear the frogs and crickets. The air is cool, brings chills to his spine but that’s something Popov can solve. He tries to take another swig lying down but chokes on it, coughs up the harsh alcohol and sits up to catch his breath. Thinks about if he gets pulled over on the way home, how he’ll reek of vodka. Like his mom used to.
“I’ve thought about it, ya know. After you left, kinda thought it every day,” he rubs his nose with his palm, smearing snot over his skin. “It’s too easy. I don’t know. Maybe I’m fucking stupid, but maybe I can do something with my life. Don’t know what I’m good at, but there’s gotta be something, right? Maybe pottery, like you did. I never tried.”
Another swig of the cheap booze, he’s feeling it. Billy’s drunk. Gets why his mom was so dependent on it. A short term solution for life long pain.
“I think he loved you,” he speaks again, “Susan is a lot like you. She’s got a really fucking annoying kid and she’s not as perfect as you, but he seemed happier. He buys her things a lot.”
He laughs, “Get this. He bought her diamond earrings for Christmas. Got Max a stereo for his room. Guess what he got me? A fucking copy of Penthouse.”
Billy snorts then, “I’m gay, mom. I think he knows it too, that’s why he got me a fucking skin mag.”
When the realization hits that he’s just to come out to his dead mom, Billy breaks out into a fit of laughter. He’s giddy. He’s never told a soul, funny that the one he’s told isn’t on this plane of existence. He slaps his knee, body curling up with the laughs.
“I’m fucking gay!” he screams out into the empty quarry, falling into his back while his giggling subsides and shifts to violent sobs.
He hears the voice before he sees the dark figure standing in front of him.
“Are you okay?”
Steve fucking Harrington. His ill fitting jeans, polo and Member’s Only jacket. Billy’s eyes meet his and then he’s a barrel of laughs again. What are the odds that as he’s coming out to his deceased mom, the boy that’s made these feelings more of a reality comes walking up. God’s a funny son of a bitch if he exists.
It’s the alcohol that fuels Billy’s next move.
Another big, belly laugh, “Am I okay? My fucking mom’s dead!”
Steve’s face falls, “Oh… god, I’m so sorry.”
Billy smiles, cheekily up at the brunette. Remembers smashing a plate over his head. Like mother like son. Billy laughs again, unscrewing the red cap from the plastic bottle.
“Never felt closer to her,” Billy insists, raising the bottle before knocking back another gulp. “The hell are you doing out here, amigo?”
Steve sighs, “Come here to clear my head. You sure you’re okay?”
Billy shoves the bottle towards Steve, “Have some! For my sweet, beautiful mother. She was a fiend for this stuff.”
The brunette sits next to him, takes the bottle and knocks back a swig. His handsome face cringes with it. He hands it back and tilts his head as he looks at Billy.
“I’m really sorry. That sucks.”
Billy giggles, “Haven’t seen her since I was six! Her funeral is next Saturday. Wonder if I should skip it. She didn’t show up when she said she would.” He sighs, looks up at the sky, “Two days, right?”
Steve is silent, lets Billy get out whatever he needs to. Pats his knee reassuringly.
“I fucking miss her, man,” Billy admits, “I… fuck!”
He grabs onto his pack of smokes, pulls one out and lights it, his fingers trembling.
“Yeah… life’s… weird like that, it has to throw everything at you at once,” Steve sighs, “See if you got what it takes.”
“I don’t think I do,” Billy admits, shoving the box of Marlboros against Steve’s chest.
Steve frowns, accepts the cigarette and hands the box back to Billy, “You seem tough enough to handle it.”
Billy breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably and ducking his head between his knees. Steve doesn’t know what to do. This guy beat him blue and bloody a couple months ago. Now he’s crying so hard Steve thinks he might puke. His arms circle around Billy before he can really think about it, clutching onto him. The blonde doesn’t return the embrace, Steve awkwardly rests his cheek on Billy’s shoulder and rubs soothing circles against his back. But after a while, Billy drops his cigarette, turns his body and shoves his face in Steve’s neck while he wraps his arms around his middle. The sobs only seem to get harder the tighter they hug.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Steve mumbles because he doesn’t know what else to say.
Billy’s getting snot and spit all over Steve’s neck but it seems like the guy really needed a hug so Steve just holds him closer.
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dizzyduck44 · 2 years
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Fernando has driven so many different cars that when he got to mclaren again his driving style was and is weird, i remember seing the data on how much front end-rear drivers liked and fernando was the one that shine because of how balance and stiff it was like it was almost a straight line, and this year when lando said that he would like the car to be a lot more losed I inmediately knew that mclaren still makes the car like it is for Fernando.
Also Im not saying that sim is the reason of why Daniel didn't did any good, idk if i am explain it well but like if you are having problems and you dont know shit about the car why are you doing almost nothing about it until a year later when there are new regulations and the team change the thing you have problems with and now you dont understand your problems from last year and this year.
The difference between Lewis, Kimi, Alonso and Daniel is clear in interviews, the first 3 can answer you when you talk about the car and 95% of the time they know whats wrong and if they can and they have permision they describe it.
I will see if I can find one of the articles where a mechanic/engineer said that Daniel simply is not interested in the technical side and that cause them to have troubles with car.
Again brilliant points and I’ve been trying to explain this to people. The car was developed so far towards Alonso’s driving style. In his final years with the team and just after he left the team didn’t have the money to completely scrap the car and when the money started pouring in, hello cost cap. Lando will be in his 30s before they fully unpick the mess they are in.
And you’re right. It’s not just sim work. Daniel is right, the lack of a wind tunnel at the MTC has hampered them, forcing them to send parts to Germany to test has cost time and money that could have been better spent.
However Lewis and Daniel’s view that the sim was for the kids to play backfired. Do you remember one stream Lando opened up his sim rig and a load of Mercedes’ stuff popped up, when McLaren still had Renault engines? The rumour was with McLaren were about to take Merc engines and as Lewis and Valtteri were not that keen on the sim, they had sent Stoffel and Lando software to try at home, before they programmed it into the Mercedes sim for Ant Davidson to run. Apparently someone at McLaren who had seen them both in the sim had tipped Merc off that the two of them could iron out the creases. Again, Daniel didn’t see the danger there.
Funny thing about what you say about Kimi, Lewis and Fernando. Compared to Daniel they all had one thing in common, and they share it in common with Lando. Ron Dennis.
Ron Dennis was famous for having his drivers watch their crew take their car to pieces and then get the drivers to put it back together. Even if it took all week. (Apparently Fernando threw a fit about this). He believed you can’t drive a car if you don’t understand how it works. (I believe Lauda and Schumacher were the same and Seb did it as well. Lewis also did a lot of his own mechanic work with his Dad in karting). Ron Dennis (not Zak as most people believe) effectively put Lando on work experience/apprenticeship. Two years, a few weeks in every department in addition to sim and testing. If Red Bull didn’t give their drivers that experience then they will always be at a disadvantage to others.
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macancheesanwich · 3 months
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I don’t know what to do anymore, which I think is a common thought going on in their country as of late, I just don’t. Im not a person who usually comes out and asks for charity, I never asked for charity when my family was at risk of being homeless when I was little, I never asked for charity when I was close to not graduating high school. I didn’t even ask for charity when I was moments away from anaphylaxis a few years ago. I am stubborn, everyone in my family is stubborn, we’ve always been and we always will be, but I think right now I have to let that go. I need help, my family, we need help. For the past two years my mothers car has been off and on working, and whet I mean is that it stalled, and hasn’t recovered since, my father tried to fix it, he couldn’t. We brought it to the dealership, it sat for weeks and yet they couldn’t fix it. We had it somewhat drivable at one point, but just a few hours later it started making this horrible clicking sound that won’t stop, next the front wheel axel turned inwards…etcetera, etcetera. There is so many problems with it, that I can’t even name every problem that’s wrong with it, I can’t comprehend it, nor do I necessarily understand how a vehicle works to understand what is wrong with it. Now one vehicle not working wasn’t too bad, I bike to work so it’s not a problem particularly for me, but my parents both work full time jobs. They carpool when they can, but that doesn’t work too well when one has to go to work at 6 and the other 8, there simply isn’t enough time to go from one to the next. My dad adjusted his schedule a little in the fall so it wasn’t too bad of a difference, but my mother still has to wait to be picked up. Once again I will say it I am stubborn and there are people out there that are having worse problems. Our second vehicle is a Mercury Grand Marquis. Mercury stopped producing cars in the early 2010’s, the vehicle has severe problems. Not only that but every time we get in there is a horrifying problem with the windshield where you can barely see through it. It’s dangerous, my family makes jokes that we might get in a crash or even die. That’s where we are, my family is laughing at dying in a car crash because we’re so far backed into a corner we don’t know what to do anymore. That’s it, we just don’t know what to do, I’m terrified one of my parents is going to die because of the vehicles they drive. My mother and father deserve so much more, but they’re being failed by the companies they slave away for. I know I cannot come on here and complain and whine and cry until money falls into my lap because I know as a fact that everyone is going through their own shit. But we need help. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what I’m going to do and I can’t even begin to think where to start. I also don’t want to be told to pray, I pray a lot, I didn’t use to believe in god too much but in recent years I’ve started to lean back towards religion. I don’t know what to do and I just need help, I just want them to be safe. All I want is for them to be safe. I work my ass off to help pay off bills, hell I helped pay the mortgage recently. It’s never enough, what do I do?!
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here4kpopfics · 1 year
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hey! i hope you’re doing okay? :) sorry to bother you but i just wanted to say im reading „feeling chaos“ and i know you said we shouldn’t hate ry but i can’t stop myself from saying that i think all of them are being really unfair towards y/n tbh because they all blame her/ask her to stay or have her pressured to speak about the loss but never once does jk say that his sister is at fault and she should stop. she‘s the sister so why does ry get to be the miserable one and not y/n?
First of all, you are not bothering me in any way shape or form!! The only thing bothering me is work getting in the way of me answering this! 💜
Second. It’s totally fine to not be a fan of the characters sometimes. They’re all kind of a mess of emotions and that’s one of the things about grief and trauma, it brings out the worst in people.
I’m gonna pop this under a read more to be safe 💜
The blame game is a horrible thing. It’s something I still do with my sister with the car crash I was in coming up on ten years ago. While no one died and we came out (mostly) fine (I was broken physically and mentally. She has a sprain) we still go back and forth on who should be at fault. The truth is we all look to blame someone when something horrific happens. We can’t just “oh it just happened” we need blame. And as easy as it is to blame the drunk driver, the brain does some fickle shit to shift blame to something or someone they know.
I can’t get too deep into them because you’ll learn in the later chapters. But Ryujin, as horrible as she is right NOW, lost her soulmate. She had everything planned and set in stone that the rest of her life was a certain way. To have it ripped away, in front of you and unable to do anything about it, is a trauma completely different from OC’s trauma of watching her brother/best friend die.
Jungkook I have to hold back on because he’s so difficult to explain that outlining him took forever. And it’s gonna hurt to write. He has reasons. I promise. He doesn’t blame Ry for a reason. He doesn’t blame oc for a reason. But asking her to stay, to be there with him is just as much to help not make her feel alone as it is to help him.
And OC has to talk about the loss. Ptsd festers the longer you don’t treat it. Take me for example. I avoided getting help for the crash for so long that I can’t drive. I can’t watch car crash scenes. Even writing the scene took hours of me crying and panicking. I can’t go on fast rollercoasters. It’s so engrained in me now that it’s almost crippling with how I live my life. It would be the same for her. But that’s where I’ll leave it for her. She’s a lot all at once.
Your feelings towards jk and Ry are valid. Never forget that. But remember. We all grieve differently. We put pressure on other people. We push people away. We isolate. We internalize it until we combust. Sometimes we go into such a deep shock we forget as much as we can about it. Sometimes we relive it every day. Grief sucks. Coping sucks. But unfortunately everyone goes through it. My hope is to help people understand that everyone goes about it a different way. There’s no one set way to grieve.
But thank you for bringing it up. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being amazing.
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kitty-darling23 · 1 month
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Honestly, I hate the life I’m making myself live. The man who’s suppose to love me and cherish me doesn’t make me feel like I’m any of that. I feel at my most miserable. Life is too hard as is. He and his mother have verbally attacked and abused me to the point where I want to believe they are trying to stress me out to miscarry a child I want if they don’t care for it. I will be the best single mother to this poor child that it’s paternal side of the family with never be able to add up to match. I have so many texts about how I need apologize for having feelings and trying understand how if my feeling are hurt and no one cares why should I have to suffer caring about someone else’s feelings? I am so lost for words. These people are crazy. They have deliberately caused me pain from the past two miscarriages I have been through to this full on pregnancy I am going through. In the beginning, a year ago, this man’s child trapped me in a closet, refused to let me leave and attacked me. Of course I fought back because my life is at stake. I don’t belong there especially getting attacked by a child who thinks she’s grown. I beat her up until the man and his mother removed me off of her. I wanted to go home. Im not a dog, you can’t refuse me to leave a place that’s not mine. Well I finally got my things and went to my car. I was followed by him. He got in my car when I was placing my stuff in the back seat. He asked why I was doing this to him. I just told him how I wanted to go home and that he needed to remove himself from my car. He began to choke me with his elbow pressing me up again my driver window. He said he wanted to kill me. Told me how much I deserve to be attacked by his daughter. That hurt me more like I thought you loved me. That’s not love. But as I was losing oxygen I finally decided to kick him in the face. He removed his arm from my throat and punched me. That’s all I can remember besides by the end of it I was telling his mother to stay away from me and my car but she refused and came over to where I was in the car and I tried to keep it locked but I was so out of it bleeding all over the place, she opened the door and ripped me out and slapped me so I slapped her back. I was in so much pain from what he did to me. I begged her and everyone else to just leave me alone. They don’t know what that means. I almost felt like I was gangbang raped without intercourse all because of the unwanted and undeserved beatings I got from all of them. There were videos of what he did to me that night as I was fighting for my life and yet I stayed with him even after I sent him to jail. They dropped the case because I told them to. I was being threatened by them if I did drop it. Well he told me I was going to get mine. I was 6 weeks pregnant and miscarried because of everything. Months later, he sent me to jail for him running out of my car stealing my phone and ran right in front of my car to claim I hit him with the car. He kept hitting me while I was driving so I was having a hard time understand anything going on. I was 5 weeks pregnant and miscarried again. Then he sent my father to jail for no reason. He hit my father and claimed my father hit him. He falsely imprisoned my father and that the hurt the most. Now I’m pregnant again and it’s hard now because I want his entire family to suffer the pain they have put me through. I need help to get away because I’m stupid enough to keep putting myself here. I feel like the reason I stuck around is because I have no one but my dad and I just want someone who loves me like my dad loves my mom. I’m in so much pain… I’d not know what to do anymore… I don’t like this life I make myself live..
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butterflyyeo · 3 years
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drunk in love
pairing - yeosang x fem reader
genre - fluff, angst (?)
tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing
wc - 10k
side ships - seongjoong, yungi
a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!
------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.
and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.
you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)
you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.
yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.
"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."
yunho frowned, "damn."
you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."
"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.
"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.
wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."
the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.
soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.
"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.
"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.
"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.
he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.
you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.
"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.
"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.
you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.
"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.
once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.
shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.
————————
the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.
you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.
"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.
you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."
"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.
"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.
yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."
"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.
"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.
"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.
you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.
"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.
"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.
the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.
it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.
"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.
"it's fine." he shrugged.
you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."
"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."
he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.
you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.
yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.
"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.
"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."
wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"
"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.
"then why do you act like you do?"
yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.
————————
to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.
the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.
the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.
a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.
he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night."  he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.
you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.
he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"
"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.
the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.
"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.
"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.
"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"
"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.
before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.
"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.
you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.
"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.
"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.
"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."
"did you need something?" he asked.
"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.
this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"
"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.
"at 4am?"
"i'm on night shift."
"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.
you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"
"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.
"what?"
"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.
exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.
once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.
"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.
"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.
but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.
————————
you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.
"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.
he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."
you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.
"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.
the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.
———————
weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.
this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.
you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.
"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.
"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.
in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.
"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.
"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.
"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.
you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.
"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.
"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.
"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.
yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.
"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.
wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."
yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.
"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.
"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.
"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.
"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"
"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.
he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."
hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."
you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.
you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.
about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.
you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.
leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.
"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.
he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"
"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."
"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.
you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.
————————
you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.
you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."
"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.
you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"
"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.
hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.
you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"
he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."
"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."
you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.
"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.
"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.
"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.
"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.
your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.
your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.
"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.
"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.
"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."
"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.
"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.
"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"
"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.
the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.
he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.
"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.
the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.
your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"
"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.
"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.
he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."
"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.
"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."
"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"
"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.
"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"
"what is it?"
you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."
"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.
"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.
"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.
but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.
you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.
when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."
you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"
"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.
"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"
"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.
"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.
he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.
he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.
this wasn't like yeosang. at all.
————————
as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.
"is she okay?"
"are you tired?"
"did she wake up?"
he was bombarded by questions.
"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.
"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.
"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.
"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"
"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.
"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.
"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.
you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.
"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"
"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.
"what do you need help with?" san asked.
you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"
"well yes, but he's asleep."
you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."
"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."
"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.
"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.
"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.
"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.
"good luck!"
"bye y/n!"
————————
you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.
you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.
you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!
yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T
you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !
yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<
you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?
yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^
you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)
yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?
you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.
————————
a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.
"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.
"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.
the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.
your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."
"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."
"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.
you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."
"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.
"well..."
"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."
you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.
"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.
"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.
"right. i'm so sorry about that."
this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.
"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."
"i'm so—"
"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.
his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.
he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.
the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.
you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.
you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.
he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.
you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."
"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.
you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."
"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.
you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."
"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."
————————
it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.
"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"
"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.
"five minutes."
"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.
on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.
"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."
your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."
just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.
"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.
"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.
"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.
"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.
"ah, so thats why you came."
"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."
your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)
when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.
yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.
he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.
the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.
"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.
"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."
you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.
he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"
"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"
"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.
you smiled, "if you are."
he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.
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the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.
"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.
"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.
"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.
"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.
you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.
you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((
he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.
something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?
————————
days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.
but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.
you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.
you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?
wooyoung: yeah he is
you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?
wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry
you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!
you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.
two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.
you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.
or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.
or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.
as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.
when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.
you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.
"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.
you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"
"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.
yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.
you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.
"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.
yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.
he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.
"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."
with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.
you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.
"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.
"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"
san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"
you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.
and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.
did he mean any of it?
————————
yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.
wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.
yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.
yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T
your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.
you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar
yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook
you: you can cook?
yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x
you: okay, i'll be there !!
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yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.
the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.
"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.
"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.
"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."
you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.
"so." he began.
"so." you copied, teasingly.
"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.
you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."
he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."
"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.
"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."
"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.
he sighed, "i remember.. enough."
"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.
"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.
you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."
comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.
"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.
"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."
"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.
"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.
"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"
"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.
yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.
"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.
"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.
you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.
"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"
yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."
you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.
"wait. you are?"
"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."
you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."
"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"
you shook your head and smiled, "i know."
————————
ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.
it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.
christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.
you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.
after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.
"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.
you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"
he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.
the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.
he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.
you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.
you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.
he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."
291 notes · View notes
bluemoonstonesy · 3 years
Note
can i request the drivers license prompt from mason mount pleaseeee? :)xxx
drivers license
Mason Mount
warnings: slight angst at the start
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But today I drove through the suburbs, crying 'cause you weren't around.
You never thought that the petty argument which began on the sofa would end up like this. But somehow you now find yourself driving around the city aimlessly as you replay countless scenarios in your mind.
And as you now think about it, you can’t even pinpoint why the confrontation had begun in the first place. Tensions have been high between you and Mason recently. You understand that his job is the most important thing in the world, and you are his biggest supporter of all. But you barely communicate. You’re due to move into his apartment from your own later that month, but it’s instantly shrugged off whenever you bring it up to him.
You’d been at his earlier that evening. It started off perfectly, but things soon turned into a row over the most stupid, petty things. Eventually you couldn’t take it anymore, grabbing your bag and slamming the door as you stormed to your car, muttering words under your breath that you’ll come to regret in the morning.
But for some reason, you didn’t go straight home, in the present still finding yourself driving down the same London streets as music softly plays from the radio. Your phone keeps lighting up from the passenger seat, countless missed calls and unopened messages from Mason flashing sporadically.
After driving around for around an hour, doing nothing but feeling sorry for yourself, you’re pulling up outside your own flat, the street merely illuminated by the street lamps accompanied by your head lights. You let out a long sigh as you put your head on the steering wheel, wanting to cry until your lungs collapse.
You’re twirling the car keys around your finger to distract yourself from breaking down in public as you approach the entrance to your apartment block, a pair of outstretched legs leaning against the building almost sending you face first onto the pavement.
You glance downwards as you adjust your bag back onto your shoulder, a familiar blue sweatshirt clinging to the owner of the jean cladded legs.
“Mase?” His face tilts upwards as his name leaves your parted lips, still unsure if it was even him until his familiar brown eyes meet your own, “What the bloody hell are you doing sat out here?”
You’ve only just left the coziness of your car’s interior, and yet the chilling breeze of London’s winter is already biting at your fingertips at a quickening rate - so you dread to think of how he feels with just merely a hoodie and jeans.
“I’m sorry,” He stands up, legs wobbling slightly to indicate that he’s been sat there for quite a while, “Im so sorry.”
“Did you walk?” You’re completely confused as to why your boyfriend has decided to camp outside your apartment for the best part of an hour, “Mason, it’s mid November!”
Without thinking, you’re removing your own jacket and throwing it over his shoulders. It’s reminiscent of a date in the early stages of your relationship. You’d stupidly left your jacket inside the taxi, so Mason wrapped his coat around your body, as well as his arms as he pulled you into him, the pair of you walking down the street giggling.
That was also the first time he told you he loved you, standing outside your flat exactly like he is now, eyes meeting as he said those three words before kissing you on the street. The rain lashed down onto the pavement, soaking you both to the bone.
Mason is clearly thinking exactly the same, as he soon pulls you into that same position two years later.
“Remember that date? 14th of October? We went to that shitty little bar with the broken window,” You’re taken aback by his sudden statement, but heart soon warming as you realise he still remembers the exact day after so long, “And then I walked you home and….I told you I loved you?”
You nod slowly, not sure where he was going but listening eagerly, “Yeah, Why?”
He leans in and meets your lips with his own, hand coming up to your face before you’re both pulling away,
“I love you. Forever.”
And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one.
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seabass17 · 3 years
Text
All that’s left | Pt. 2
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader
A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.
All that's left pt. 1
Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?
Word count: 3.263
Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?
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*Three months later*
The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.
“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.
“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.
“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added
“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.
He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God,  I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.
“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.
“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.
“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.
“What is it?” i asked.
“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.
“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.
“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said
“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked
“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?
“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.
“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled
“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.
“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded
“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.
Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.
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*10 hours earlier*
Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.
Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.
“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.
Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.
“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.
“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.
“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.
“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.
“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.
"It's different" Tony said
“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.
Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.
“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.
The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.
“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.
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Breathe. In… and out…
It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.
“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.
“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.
“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.
“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.
“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.
“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.
“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.
“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him
“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.
“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him
“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”
“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.
“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.
“What about the rest of us y/n?”  Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.
“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.
“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.
“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”
Thor was standing completely still.
“Lady y/n…”
“How is it possible? I was there  and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.
“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.
“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.
“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me
I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.
“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.
“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.
“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.
“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said
“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.
“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that,  I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.
He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.
“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said
“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him
“You’ll see”
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Taglist
@silentkiller2374 @vikingqueenlove @girlfriday007 @supraveng
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thepavementsings · 2 years
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idk if someone already approached you about this but im brave enough to ask. so your thoughts about mpreg yukierre. elaborate please
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I have been approached indeed about the tags of this post (? i know. hear me out) by many an anon student and scholar so than you all for that. Also shout out to @fromcainwithlove for giving me brainworms about them. This is under the cut because well. lol.
So this whole thing is set starting at the beginning of this season. And it starts off casual! Yuki and Pierre started hooking up in between Barcelona and Bahrain testing. Mostly it happens because the car is a shitbox (lol). This year is gonna be bad anyways, and they’re both in Faenza all the time for feedback meetings trying to help fix this tractor trailer of a car. Pierre nearly spun out the final day of Barcelona and if he has to watch the footage of it one more time he’s going to scream. Because it’s way too similar to 2019 when he… he wont even let himself think about it.
This time Yuki is there, and unlike Max who just gave him pitying smiles from across the table, he’s rolling his eyes at his engineer and folding up bits of paper he’s picked off the side of his notebook to toss at Pierre when he thinks he’s not looking. When the head of aero comes in to go over the footage of the testing incident with them for the 5th time this week, Pierre has to focus all his attention on evening his breathing and keeping his jaw closed. But then he hears Yuki mumbling not so quietly under his breath about how fragile last year's front wing was, and instead Pierre feels the urge to lean over and devour the smirk that’s growing across his face. Pierre corners him in the hallway towards the sim a couple of hours later. If it’s gonna be a shit year, they may as well let off some steam.
Anyways Pierre isn’t blind, he knows Yuki has a crush on him (honestly my headcanon is that by like halfway through last season Yuki stopped caring to hide it -i’m going to come to your house Pierre! Etc etc - he’s flirting!) So maybe it's not super fair of Pierre, maybe it's not the most responsible thing they could be doing, but he likes Yuki! They get along and the sex is good so it doesn’t have to be a big deal. But then *waves hands timing/logistics/science of mpreg whatever* Yuki tells him in the late spring that he’s PREGNANT.
And initially Pierre freaks out because they’re both only contracted up until this year and what is Helmut gonna say and Yuki can’t DRIVE. But Yuki tells him he’s already talked to Red Bull and they aren’t happy ofc but they don’t want a PR nightmare on their hands so they’re gonna put him on mat (pat? Lol who cares) leave right away because he can’t drive anyways and once he’s had the baby (he’s due in early January) they can talk about the future. And he tells Pierre it’s fine because he didn’t tell Red Bull Pierre's father so he doesn’t have to worry!
Which Pierre is a little mad about? He should probably be grateful to Yuki for that, but it’s his kid too and he wants to be part of all of this. And his life plan is getting thrown for about 4563543 different loops and my king of compartmentalization does not take that very well lol. But he doesn’t say anything like that to Yuki because what is he supposed to say? So instead he starts sending Yuki apartment listings in Milan for 3 bedrooms and google links of prenatal vitamins he saw off an instagram guru’s page and he’s throwing himself a little too hard into the whole dedicated father thing.
And it’s YUKI who stops him one day about a week or two after he first finds and is like… Pierre. We are not dating. It is your kid yes but just because I am pregnant does not mean you have to do all of this? Which Pierre doesn’t understand at first really because Yuki’s always joked… he thought he would want that?
And Yuki sits him down and tells him that he’s going home. For the rest of the pregnancy. Because Pierre isn’t even in Milan half the time when he’s racing and his mom wants him home and what is Yuki supposed to do in Italy? There’s nothing keeping him here. Pierre wants to say what about me but he CAN’T because Yuki’s right, they aren’t dating. And Yuki deserves to have his family around him. It’s not up to Pierre anyways. 
So Pierre tells him that he wants to tell Red Bull that he’s the father. If Yuki is going to be so far away and he can’t be there to make sure everything is okay, he wants them to know. He wants to be a part of this as much as he can. Because they may not be dating, but they’re a team right? Yuki agrees. And then he goes.
Ok I'm stopping there FOR NOW but there is a WHOLE pregnancy arc to get through but I feel like this is enough for one post lol. Anyways I like to have my fun little headcanons and if I could write a) dialogue b) narration or c) literally dialogue then maybe I would actually write this but alas I can't so this is what you get from me lol. Welcome to my descent.
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shadyteacup · 3 years
Note
Hi! Im the one req 7 for chuuya sorry i didint specified, i just realized it. Can i get angst prompt 7 for chuuya?
Hiya! This pained me to write, so I made it fluffy at the end... sorry if u were looking for pure angst! I can't go to sleep peacefully peacefully after writing angst, I need to clutch my soft toys and cry myself to sleep..
Warnings: Angst to fluff, maybe a swear word at the end.. dw, it's just "bish", but like the actual word.
Word count: 2006 😳yes, I got carried away
Nakahara Chuuya + “Please wake up”
Forewarning
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“Don’t move, Chu.”
You grumbled against his chest. It was yet another lazy morning for the two of you. Lazy mornings consisted of waking up late, cuddling on the bed till lunch time, getting dressed and having dinner at some exotic place, going for a long drive, then coming back home. It was a perfect day for a traditional lazy day, except for the fact it was a weekday.
Chuuya sighed. He had to get to work, and so did you. You both couldn’t afford to miss any workdays, considering that you both worked for the same organization, one that didn’t hesitate to punish for untimely work. Chuuya was an executive, and so were you. You both had multiple solo missions planned out for today and one mission wherein you both had to team up. It was going to be quite a busy day, and Chuuya wanted nothing more than to just get it all over with. He was looking forward to some lazy cuddles in the evening, after both of your jobs were done.
“We have to get dressed, dove.”
He tried reasoning with you. You were a workaholic, just like him. It surprised him to see this lazy side of you. But then again, you must be tired, he thought.
“I know. But let’s bunk today!”
You looked up at him with wide eyes, hoping to convince him.
Chuckling, he pet your head affectionately.
“The mafia isn’t some school that you could just bunk. Besides, don’t you love working?”
You frowned at that. You were feeling weird today. It’s like something was forewarning you. But about what?
“I just have a bad feeling about today. I don’t know why, but I feel like something bad is going to happen.”
He sighed. He was never one to believe I such things. That was why you weren’t telling him until now.
“We work in the mafia. How worse can it get?”
“I suppose you’re right.”
You smiled, getting up to get ready.
....
“The target is in the warehouse.”
Chuuya said to you. You both were currently seated in Chuuya’ s car, parked on a hill. Your stakeout point had a clear view of an abandoned warehouse. Apparently, it was the location where a rival gang was coordinating with some members of the mafia and stealing their goods. You both had already executed the moles and had sent in one of your trusted members as a pretend mole. He would send you both a signal when he felt that the security was the weakest at the entrance. You both would then attack. He was supposed to cause a commotion in there, resulting in majority of the guards to rush inside and leave the entrance wide open for you two. Your men had already sealed all exits to ensure no one got out. Now you were both waiting for the signal.
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”
Chuuya pouted at your jab.
“I was just being thorough!”
“By stating the obvious?”
“You’re so mean.”
“Says the angry redhead.”
“What has my hair got to do with anything?!”
“Your hair has got to do with everything! I-”
A sharp sound was heard. Both you and Chuuya were blinded for a second as white filled your vision. You felt your torso pinch a little. It almost felt like someone was sticking a few needles into your tummy. You heard screams. They sounded frantic. A few moments later, your vision cleared, and you saw yourself floating in the air, a frantic Chuuya saying something to you. It all sounded mangled and mixed up. If you could have laughed at the moment, you would have laughed at how funny he sounded.
The screams had turned to cries, now. You were so confused. Who was crying? And why was Chuuya pressing down on your stomach?
Looking down, you saw the blood. There was blood everywhere. It had completely soaked your shirt. Chuuya was using his ability and his hands to keep it in. He seemed hurried. His eyes were watery, and streams of tears were flowing down his cheeks.
Finally understanding the situation, you realised that you were injured. Looking down at your torso, you saw the two bullet wounds. And now, you finally felt them. The pain was overwhelming. It rushed in like water at the breaking of a dam. It completely filled you up. You now realised that those cries of pain were actually your own. You wished to have never woken from your daze. You wanted to remain oblivious. You wanted the pain to go back to mere pinpricks. It was too much. Succumbing to the enormous pain, you let your eyes shut close. You realised that your body was going to sleep. Maybe for the last time.
....
Chuuya sat in a chair next to your sleeping form. You were lying unconscious on the clean white sheets of the hospital bed. Your entire torso was covered in bandages. You had taken two bullets, one in the side and one right next to your belly button. The doctors were able to save you in time, and it was a matter of time till you gained consciousness.
Chuuya held his face in his hands. The memories of just moments prior to visiting the hospital kept running through his head. He kept seeing flashes of your blood oozing out of your body. He kept remembering the way your eyes had glazed over while he tried to apply pressure on your wounds. There was so much blood. His mere two hands were proving to be inefficient. So, he had activated his ability to push the blood back in. He had no clue if that had helped. He remembered activating his ability the moment you had let out a blood curdling scream. He had levitated you both out of the car and high up in the night sky.
He should have listened to you. Your forewarnings were right. Something terrible had ended up happening. The mole he had sent inside was found murdered by the backup team, and the head of the organization had fled. His men had taken up sniping positions all across the hills. Two of them had shot you at once. He remembered going on a mad spree and pelting boulders at all the men in his sight using his ability right before he flew to the hospital with you in his arms.
“Has she gained consciousness?”, the doctor asked as she peeked in. Chuuya had asked all medical personnel to leave him alone with his sweetheart, a little too passionately, after they were done treating you, and hence the poor doctor was a tad bit scared to check up on your vitals.
Chuuya whipped his head up.
“No.”
The doctor scrunched her brows in worry. Rushing in, she did some tests.
“I’m sorry, sir, but if the patient doesn’t wake up in another hour, we will have to declare a coma condition.”
“What?!”
The doctor jumped at his outburst, but answered him, nonetheless.
“The body is behaving as if it is already in coma. This can also be because it is repairing itself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be coma.”
She sighed.
“But, if the patient retains this state of unconsciousness, we will have to rule out a natural healing process. I suggest you try to communicate with the patient. Sit close, hold hands, maintain physical contact. Try speaking. That way, maybe the body will react to a familiar scent, touch or voice, and gain consciousness.”
Chuuya gulped, worried, and nodded.
“I understand.”
He shakily made his way to your face, observing your serene features. He hesitantly put your hair behind your ear, breathing unsteadily. He felt immense guilt and anger. He was guilty of not paying your uneasiness an ear, and he was angry because he couldn’t save you. If only he had been more vigilant, more aware of his surroundings, he would have been able to smell a rat.
“I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. I should have been able to protect you.”
He gasped inaudibly, trying to keep his sobs in. He couldn’t stop the tears. They flowed freely down his cheeks, a symbol of his immense fear of losing you. He couldn’t bear the idea of loosing you. It might be selfish of him, but he wanted you to live, because God-forbid, if you didn’t, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He knew that if such a devastating situation ever occurred, he would lose all sanity and go mad. He would lose his mental balance and completely fall off the edge. He couldn’t bear to be separated from you for two days, forget the rest of his lifetime.
He caressed your cheek, smiling bitterly at your sleeping form. Nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, he let himself truly cry. He let out all his emotions into your hair. He found comfort in your warmth. He has always felt the safest in your embrace. That’s where he could truly be himself.
He didn’t realise how long it had been when he began talking to you. Telling you how much he loved you and how he couldn’t live without you. He pondered on how he would take his life if you left him.
“I’d have to go to that stupid mackerel for guidance. But then again, he has been unsuccessful in killing himself for 22 years. He’s probably the worst suicidal guy out there.”
He was lying next to you now, cradling your frail form in his arms.
The doctor waltzed in, a serious and sorrowful expression straining her pretty features.
“Nakahara-san, I’m so sorry.”
Chuuya gritted his teeth, holding onto you tighter.
“No! There’s still a chance that-”
“Its hopeless. The patient has already been in this state for 16 hours.”
“16 hours?”
The doctor smiled sympathetically.
“I gave you a lot more time. I thought maybe the constant contact would help. But sadly, it’s out of our hands now.”
Chuuya sat up, holding your face in his large palms.
“Wake up! Wake up, damnit!”
He shook you gently, desperate to get any kind of reaction out of you.
“Nakahara-san! Please get away from the patient! You mustn’t cause any harm! Security?!”
The doctor rushed forward to pull Chuuya off of you, but he held onto you. He grabbed your arms, looping his own around them and pulling you towards him.
“Wake up!”
He rested his face on your chest, sobs escaping him.
“Please... please wake up...”
The doctor reached forward to clasp his shoulder, trying to pry him off of you.
A large gasp followed by couple of coughs were heard.
You took in a large breath, trying to swallow. Your throat was dry and scratchy.
“Y/N!”
Looking up, you saw Chuuya holding you in his arms, a relieved and surprised expression on his elegant features.
“Hey.”
Your voice sounded raspy, but it was music to his ears.
He engulfed you in a hug, one that knocked the air out of your lungs.
“She’s still a patient!”
The doctor reprimanded as the security guards pulled Chuuya off of you.
You smiled at the tiny ginger.
“I’m alive, Chu. Stop being dramatic.”
Chuuya laughed at your carefree attitude. He didn’t resist the men as they pulled him out of the room. He was relieved to see you awake. He didn’t care about anything else. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up.
“Call Gin and tell her that I’m not dead!”
“You don’t need to call me, idiot. I was waiting right outside.”
You smiled as she walked in, giving you a hug.
“Why does she get to go in but not me?!”
Chuuya whined.
“Hey Gin, guess what?”
Gin smiled at you, sitting at the edge of your bed at the nurses did their check-ups.
“What?”
“I’m alive, bitch!”
Your snickers could be heard till the hallway, where the rest of your friends were seated. Shaking his head, Tachihara snickered.
“Good ol’ Y/N.”
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gojology · 3 years
Text
Lovebirds.
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𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 |  omg this is my first request. ilysm anon, im now feelin super cool. also, i just realized i put recc (as in recommended) instead of requests. i’m super stupid LOL. anyways, im touch starved too dw bby, i’m servin u up a long one since i rlly like this request and after all u r my first! 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Gojo x Wife! Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 2307 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | None! 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | Coming home from a long mission in America, precisely 1 year, you’re excited to catch up on Gojo’s students, Nanami, and just Gojo in general.   Leaning out of the car window, resting your arm against your purse, you sighed. A humid wind brushed against your skin, tickling you. It had been quite a while since you had been in Japan, spending almost a year on a huge mission in America. You had killed a battalion worthy amount of special grades.   You spent most of your time in America in mostly horribly rundown places, equally as infested with curses. Although you found yourself enjoying America’s natural beauty, further away from the city life that many of the Americans found themselves enjoying, you much preferred Japan. after all, it was your home, and where you met Gojo Satoru. It would be another day until you could return, and you had gone through hundreds of scenarios of finally being in his arms again, but nonetheless, you were ecstatic at the thought of your husband’s touch.   Your phone’s notification chimed loudly, you threw your phone onto the other seat, heart jumping up to a high rate. It was a recording of Satoru loudly yelling, “OPEN YOUR FUCKING PHONE!” with a flurry of giggles afterwards.    Ijichi jumped, turning left and right. Whispering under his breath, he let out an exasperated sigh, switching the music channel.    The recording was mostly because of the time you had to ghost him due to work. Gojo had snuck on and recorded it, doing some magical tech stuff and giving you the custom notification sound. You had kept it that way ever since, since secretly, you enjoyed that you were so badly wanted by Gojo, that, and you had no idea how to change it back.    But the custom notification was sweet as well.   You smiled to yourself every time you heard it, a familiar twinge of pain flashing inside of you whenever you realized you wouldn’t be able to see him for a while.   Well, today, and the days after that would be different. You’d be able to finally see Gojo again, and his new students that he always frantically texted you about. Nanami, an old friend of Gojo, and also an old friend of yours, would also be there to welcome you back, you found yourself reminiscing about them.   You had heard so much about them, one of the kids being Sukuna’s vessel, you wondered how Gojo could contain such a fear, being around the kid at all times, he always told you about how the kid was actually energetic and happy and an overall great kid, you had heard about Nanami, finally coming back into the jujutsu sorcerer field of work, even though you always found that he still had a thing for finances.   You shook your head, “Save that shit for later, (Y/N).” muttering to yourself, you didn’t want to think of anything but Gojo, after all, it had been one fucking year of being deprived of the man you loved most. You were practically starving for the guy, in more ways than one.   Ijichi gulped, facing towards you, one hand on his steering wheel, “Forgive me Mrs. Satoru, but um.. Forgive me if I misheard, but I think I heard your phones notification go off.. Due to the ah- incredibly loud profanity.”   Now just realizing that you had completely forgotten about the phone notification, you nodded your thanks to Ijichi, a warmth rushing to your cheeks before opening up your phone.    In the small, rounded box containing Gojo’s message, he wrote in all caps, “SUGAR, MY BELOVED, MY QUEEN, HOW CLOSE ARE YOU? I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT I’M LITERALLY BOUNCING UP AND DOWN IN OUR BED.”   Smiling to yourself, you furiously texted back, “Calm down honeybun, I’ll be there in like, 24 hours, I’m not even fucking close.”   You almost instantly got a DM back, making you jump a bit in your seat. Even with the 5 years of friendship, and the 3 years of relationship, and the 2 years of marriage, he still almost always texted you back as quickly as possible.   “God I can’t fucking wait for you to meet the kids! We’ll keep it a surprise, yeah? We have a bunch of treats, and we also got the kids to get some gifts for you! How thoughtful aren’t they? They’re MY offspring by the way, so like, you know, whenever you want a kid, it’s your call ;)”   You snorted to yourself, smiling. He genuinely seemed so excited, and it was all shining through even though it was from a screen.    “Maybe in a few years, I don’t even wanna imagine a little you.”   Despite the excited, bubbling feeling brewing bigger and bigger in your stomach, you figured it’d be best to sleep before the chaos. Happily sighing, you laid down, using your purse as a pillow, drifting into a blissful sleep.  ‧₊˚✩彡.   You awoke to a sudden halt, Looking around your surroundings, you figured you were home. Ijichi looked like he was damn near about to fall asleep on the steering wheel.   Well, maybe that’s what 24 hours of constant driving did to you. You fished around in your purse, silently cursing looking for a water bottle.   “Here, Ijichi, looks like you ran a marathon.” you grinned, handing the slightly crumped water bottle to him.   He beamed as if a guardian angel had descended down and gave him a trillion dollars.   “Mrs. Satoru! You really mean it? The ride was nothing, I was merely instructed to do so and I would’ve done it happily regardless.”   You waved your hand, as a dismissal of the conversation. “You overwork yourself Ijichi, go catch a break, on me. If Gojo tears you apart, tell him he won’t be getting any pussy from me for another year.”   Ichiji nodded vigorously, before dashing off, probably towards a massage center, God that guy needed it. ‧₊˚✩彡.    Gojo frantically hopped up and down, it had been a day, now he was just waiting for you to bust through the door in your wild hair, his legs sprawled onto the whole of a couch, he stared at the ceiling, a dopey smile spread across his face.     “Satoru. (Y/N) will not even want to be associated with you, looking at your current state.” he remarked, staring at the sorcerer with his strikingly dead eyes.     “Nanami, how the fuck am I supposed to act calm?! I’ve waited for this moment for ONE YEAR! Does my hair look normal?!”    “Your hair looks just like an albino porcupine, just as usual.” Flipping the page of his newspaper, he sighed, rubbing his temples. “I will never understand how someone like (Y/N) would be.. Interested in you, Satoru.”     Gojo paid no attention to the insult Nanami had so clearly made, his ears were perked up, eavesdropping on a distant conversation coming closer and closer.     “Gojo-Senpai was telling me about this movie while training my cursed energy! He basically spoiled the whole thing but he told me that the main character was super annoying but apparently she dies in the end in the most gruesome way possible! It’s worth the watch, your soul will feel cleansed as soon as you see her lifeless body!”     “Yuuji, you literally spoiled the whole thing to me just now.” Fushiguro calmly stated, looking bored out of his mind.     “Oh, oops.” Yuuji rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled coyly, tightly hugging his present.    “What’s with the decorations, Gojo-Sensei?” inquired Nobara, stroking her warm toned brown hair. She had figured it was something about the presents that Gojo had forced the trio to get, but he never told them who it was for.    The room had been decorated with various balloons and confetti, scattered about, on the table and the ground. A cake box wrapped with a gigantic bow limply guarded whoever was brave enough to get their hands on something that Gojo seemed to be protecting with his life.    A pink table cover with a crudely drawn Gojo and what would seem to be a girl, a heart in the middle of the pair. In a horrible font with an even awfuller text, the text on top and at the bottom of the drawing proudly stated:    “WELCOME BACK QT”    “-YOU’RE HUSBAND AND THE CREW”    Nobara stood in distaste, trying to disguise the face she made. The drawing, the misused you’re, and the overall poor design choice was enough to almost make her vomit.     Nobara, about to make her distasteful statements about the whole mess, was suddenly shut up as Gojo started hopping up and down, looking directly at his phone.   “SHE’S COMING! SHE’S COMING! EVERYONE IN YOUR PLACES!”    Now, seeing Gojo freak out wasn’t outside of the ordinary, but it was to see him freak out to this extent. He was hopping up and down, blabbering about a certain woman named (Y/N). Nobara was pretty sure that if a curse attacked right now, even a special grade comparable to the one with the uncomplete domain could completely crush Gojo, the guy seemed completely unaware of the example he was setting to the kids. Even Yuuji stood in disbelief, and he had seen multiple tantrums by Gojo.   Nanami, however, licked his finger and flipped the newspaper page. A face of boredom obviously displayed.     Nobara, preparing herself to chew Gojo out about how utterly stupid and embarrassing he made the whole class of jujutsu sorcerers look like, stopped wide eyed as she looked at the doors slide wide open. ‧₊˚✩彡.    You stood, shyly, looking at the ground. Gojo dove headfirst into your arms, laughing like a maniac and digging his face into your shoulder. You breathed in his scent, scanning the room.     Three teens, sat wide-eyed, backs straight as they looked at you with eyes you couldn’t quite read. All three of them held presents.     The one with eyelids underneath his eyes (which you assumed was Yuuji, the vessel of Sukuna) eyed you curiously, his eye twitched.     The other boy, one with wild black-blue hair, sat mouth agape, before closing it. He looked like he was about to say something, before stopping entirely and hugging his present closer to his chest.    The warm haired girl darted her eyes between you two, seemingly trying to put the puzzle together.     Nanami put the newspaper down, glancing over to you two.    “This is obviously Gojo-Senpai’s wife. He hasn’t seen her in many months, and as you can see, really really misses her.” he paused, a small smile spreading on his face, a rare sight.     “I don’t even know why myself, but what can you do with lovebirds?” he thought aloud, his attention now focused to the two of you furiously making out, hands in places Yuuji and the crew didn’t need to see.    “Satoru, (Y/N), leave the kissing for later. Don’t you see the kids?”     You detached yourself from his mouth, panting for breath. The air being exhaled out of his nose fanned over your face, you had just now realized the kids again.     “Satoru, lets sit down. I bet the kids are surprised. “ you motioned to the couch. Gojo whined.     “What? They’re not that dumb, they can tell you’re my wife or at least, you’re my girlfriend, just by the way we kiss right? Isn’t this telling enough?”     “You didn’t tell them about me, ever did you?”     He sighed in defeat, holding tightly onto your arm as you dragged him over and sat down on the comfortable couch, opposite of Yuuji and the crew. Nanami scooched over, before finally getting up to pull another chair from somewhere else. Grunting, he excused himself from the room.     “YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND, GOJO-SENPAI? AND DIDN’T TELL US?” Yuuji questioned, looking like he was about to faint.    Gojo laughed, snuggling deeper onto you, almost like a koala.     “She’s my wife, aren’t you, sugar? Did you even pay attention to anything Nanami said? He literally said she was my wife.”     Megumi made an obvious gagging sound, but even he didn’t seem as bored as he was usually. He actually looked intrigued.     “Why didn’t you tell us, Gojo-Senpai?” the girl nagged, slamming her fist down on the table.     Gojo smiled, “Uh, well, I wanted it to be a surprise when she came back.”     “Couldn’t you have told us that you had a wife or something?” Megumi butt in.    The door slid open, Nanami coming in with a wooden stool.     “Knowing Gojo-Senpai, that probably went over his head.” grunting as he placed the wooden stool down and sat, he opened his newspaper again.     “Where do you guys know eachother?”    “Was Gojo-Senpai handsome back in highschool too?”    “Do you know what lipgloss Gojo-Senpai wears?”    “Gojo-Senpai, how did you know you loved her?”     “Gojo-Senpai, can we eat now?”     “Do you know why Gojo has such a horrible sweet tooth?”      Before you could even respond, Nanami put his hand up.     “Now, now, lets let the happy couple settle down.” he cleard his throat, not even making eye contact with anyone but the newspaper.     An audible chorus of groans sounded, “What do you expect us to do? We literally just met her!” moaned Yuuji.    “Weren’t you the one that literally asked if we could eat yet?”    Yuuji immediately shut up afterwards.     “Yuuji, she just came back from a 1 day trip. She should be laying down comfortably with Gojo-Senpai and they should be catching up. You’ll have the opportunity to talk to her and learn about her later. Right now she needs space.”    “But-” Nobara whined, clasping her hands together.    Nanami turned to Fushiguro, but even he had his mind set. “I didn’t even begin to think that Gojo had a wife. I really want to know more about her, if you think about it, this is all Gojo-Sensei’s fault.”    Nanami rubbed his temples, staring at the two of you for backup, realizing that you two were making out again.    Nanami sighed, 10 years later and you two were still the same.    
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king-star · 3 years
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When the Party’s Over
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Warning: Homophobia, transphobia, death, bile, guts, broken limb, crying, pet neglection, driving while slightly tipsy, fire (lmk if i need to add more. This is all around pretty dark and sad, proceed with caution)
Match: Yelena Belova x enby!Reader; Wanda Maximoff x reader
Genre: Angst, Angst, and more Angst
A/N: This is the first chapter in a series. Idk how long it’ll be. the plan is bi weekly updates. im reallyyyyy proud of this one so let’s hope it doesn’t flop. ENJOY!
Word Count: ~3,000
Summary: You have a horrible nightmare, leaving you with anxiety for Yelena. Yelena assures you that everything is fine and leaves on a mission.
Your tongue rubs the roof of your mouth in an attempt to rid itself of the sickly sweet drink you’d been sipping. A hundred intoxicated humans swirl around you. Fabric, skin, and feathers blend together, the orchestra the only thing holding off the headache behind your eyes.
You didn’t want to be here. Sure ballroom charity balls could be fun. If you had your best friends there, you could chat only with them, and dance to your heart's content. Unfortunately for you, everyone you could stand to be around was busy. Leaving you human-shieldless from your mothers many socialite friends.
The “oh my goodness Y/N I haven’t seen you since you were in highschool. How are you?” got old quick. Retelling your life story over and over was a pain especially with your mother gripping your hand making sure you didn’t slip up. Share any information that didn’t quite fit the Y/L/N dynasty image. Mostly she didn’t want you sharing about the love of your life, your girlfriend, your Yelena.
When the two of you first got together you waited nearly 5 months before telling your mother. The first time you dated a girl she had hated it. She tried to act like she was supportive, claiming “I will always love you no matter what.” But in the end she always shielded this fact from the public eye. She was supportive of all the LGBT+ movements from a political standpoint. Never her own child.
You never told Yelena about this. You claimed the reason you didn’t want to share her with your mother was because you wanted your relationship to not have paparazzi after you two. She bought it for a while but you could only keep the love of your life away from the woman who gave you life for so long. It didn’t take a master spy to understand the emotions behind the look your mother gave you when you brought Yelena to dinner. Yelena never brought it up but it was an unspoken understanding. Your mother didn’t accept you no matter how hard she tried to fake it.
Now you just wanted the event to be over so you could go home to Yelena. You flipped your wrist, checking the ridiculously expensive watch you had on.
11:31
She was definitely asleep by now. Yelena never stayed up past 10:30. Frowning, you set down your glass and turned to your mother, waiting for her conversation to end. When she finally stopped speaking she turned to you and cocked an eyebrow,
“Y/N. Are you leaving? so soon?” she pouted but enough years in her home taught you her looks. This was faked sadness.
“Unfortunately yes mother. Lena is probably asleep by now and I have work early. She probably forgot to feed our dog,” you enunciated the words that might clue in your mothers friend on how you and this woman were related. A last “fuck you mother” before you left. She smiled warningly and nodded.
“Well… you must get home to your friend. I will see you soon daughter,” she kissed your hand and you stood there frozen. Of course, she would invalidate your gender and your relationship in one comment. Your nostrils flared and you turned quickly, letting your hand smack your unfinished drink into her lap and treading off quickly.
“Fuck you mother. How someone could be so hateful to their own child I will never understand,” you muttered to yourself. You handed your ticket to the valet and stood with your arms crossed, waiting. You made sure to tip the valet an absurd amount, and drove off quickly. The only thing that would keep you from doing something stupid in retaliation was Yelena’s arms around you.
~
Nearly thirty minutes later you pulled the car into the garage. It shouldn’t have taken you that long to get home but you couldn’t help but drive with the top down for a bit. Anger and maybe a bit of fear had bubbles underneath your skin and you didn’t want to bother Yelena. You stepped out of the car and held your head in your hands. You hadn’t drank that much, but a headache would be inevitable.
Fanny met you at the door. She was obviously excited, tail wagging as she raced back to her food bowl
“ok ok girl. I’ve got you,” you rubbed her head and dumped a scoop of food into her bowl. Loosening your tie you dragged yourself to the bedroom. You smiled as the light poured in and illuminated the silhouette of a sleeping Yelena.
“Deep asleep. I’ll join you in a second,” you pulled the rest of your suit off. Picking up a discarded shirt you put it on, and leaned your head against the mirror.
“That was misery. And mother’s comment. I shouldn’t care about what that bitch thinks or says. But I can't help it,” you let out a sigh and picked up your toothbrush. Maybe someday she will accept you. But at that point would she ever be able to make up for how she treated you?
Ready for bed you slid in beside Yelena, careful not to wake her. Fanny, finished with her food, jumped into bed with you and snuggled up with a lick to your face. You smiled and kissed her head then kissed Yelena.
“night my love. See you in the morning,” your heavy lids drooped and you relaxed, setting a hand on Yelena and falling into dreamland.
~
Your thighs hurt. Fire and smoke burn your throat and eyes. You search for something. What exactly you aren’t sure. Tears stream down your face as anxiety floods your chest. If you don’t find the thing soon your world will be crushed.
A broken door, barely on its hinges, is at your right and you know that’s it. A hard turn and you smack your arm into the frame. You grasp at your wrist as more tears prick your eyes.
“Fuck!” A familiar level of pain flares and you know it’s broken. Your eyes dart around the room, still looking for that unknown thing. A pile of smoking wood sits in front of you and your feet carry you to it. This was it.
You try hard to pull through the heavy, hot wood with your one arm. A cry comes from below, an anxiety flaring familiar cry. You pull harder and uncover and dirty and bloody Yelena.
“LENA!” you shout and help her out. Her hands held her stomach. She smiles sickly and then curls in pain.
“Y/N. You found me. I hoped you would. Quick kiss me. I don’t have long,” Your eyes widen and you move her hands. The sight of her stomach makes you sick. Turning to the side you retch and vile spills from your mouth. You wipe your mouth and shake your head, tears fall hard now.
“Lena no no. You’re fine. We can fix you. Please,” you slide your arm under her and try to pick her up but she screams and goes limp in your arms.
“FUCK Y/N! stop. There's no hope. Please just kiss me. I don’t want to die without that.” you shake your head more and set her down. You refused to accept her death.
“No Yelena you are not going to die here. You can’t die. You are too well trained. a-and… I can't live without you. it’ll be fine,” She tries to raise her head but then it falls and she spasms. Your eyes widen and you do your best to hold her still but your broken wrist shoots in pain.
“No no no NO!” you kiss her over and over. Fear pulses through you and when she relaxes completely you sob. Your head aches from the pressure of your sobs and your broken wrist protests. Maybe hours pass and you sit there with her dead body pressed to your chest, her blood and guts smearing all over you.
Then guilt overtakes the sadness. She asked you for one thing. One single kiss before she died and you didn’t fulfill that. You couldn’t give her everything she deserved in life or even in her final moments.
You wake up shaking and screaming. Yelena is awake next to you, crying and shaking your shoulder violently.
“Please Y/N,” she sobs, snot and tears mix and fall forgotten. You sit up barely able to hold yourself up. She is alive.
“Fuck Yelena what’s wrong?” Your dream haunts you. You search her stomach and her whole body for major wounds. She is obviously unsure what you are doing and grabs your face forcing you to look at her.
“Y-you were shaking and screaming and crying and I didn’t know what was wrong. If you were having a seizure or what.” You shake your head and take deep breaths.
“No, I'm good. Not seizure. R-Really…” your words falter and you stare off, caught up in the memory of the dream. Yelena snaps in front of you and hugs your arm. “Ah sorry. Bad dream. really, really bad dream.” you stare at her head unsure if this was the dream or if Yelena really was alive.
“D-do you want to tell me about it?” Her arms slide under yours and she holds you from the side. You shake your head and lay it on her shoulder. “Ok but if you do tell me. I’ll hold you until you fall asleep again.”
The thought of being asleep again makes you tense up. Yelena feels it and rubs your side softly. She kisses you in every way she knows you like and pets your head.
“I’m not going to sleep. I can’t live through that again. It made me think I was going to be alone. Please don’t leave me Lena. please. I don’t wanna die alone.” She frowns and hugs you tight.
“I’m never going to leave you. I’m here baby. I’m here.” She kisses your jaw softly and you nod. Relaxing again, you wrap your arms around her waist and kiss her shoulders.
“Y-you died. There was a fire and I broke my wrist and it was smokey and you got impaled and you died. You asked me to kiss you and I couldn’t accept the fact you were dying so I didn’t kiss you. I couldn’t give you what you deserve.” She frowns and kisses you.
“No Y/N. Don’t you dare. It was just a nightmare, that’s all. I’m NEVER leaving you. ok?” She holds your face and kisses you softly. The kiss lasts a while and you melt into your touch. Fears still paralyse you every couple hours but she holds you until the sun comes up. She knows exactly what you love and how to make you feel safe. She really wasn’t ever going to leave.
~
Weeks pass. You are sure you have gotten past the nightmare. You go to work everyday and Yelena stays home going through paperwork. When you come home the two of you snuggle and bliss fills you. Your mother doesn’t ask you to come to any more charity events and you think maybe, just maybe things are good.
Then Yelena gets called on the mission. When she tells you she will be gone for a week your mind reels. You can barely see straight as the dream vividly flashes through your brain. Yelena gets worried, grabbing your hand and you back away searching her body for any sign of blood.
“No. Lena please. What if you get hurt? I-I can’t. You promised you’d never leave.” Her eyes look at you apologetically.
“Don’t worry. I’m a professional. It’s just a small info gathering job. Absolutely no danger,” she smiles at you and sets a hand on your shoulder. You back away from her hand and lean your head back to force the tears back.
“Yelena… ok. Please. Don’t get hurt,” She nods and kisses your cheek grabbing her bag.
You spend the entire week at home. Anxiety grips you so hard that you can’t stand to go to work. A fever strikes and you throw up every evening at almost exactly 10:30. Work tells you to stay at home and probably go to the doctor. Honestly you’d rather go to work so you have less time to think about her.
Most of Yelena's missions don’t allow for her to contact you and the stress of it all has your brain thinking of her the entire time she’s gone. By the time Yelena is on her way back you have dropped 12 pounds. You hadn’t eaten, only bothering to get up to feed Fanny. A cold sweat coats your skin and you hold your arms to you. Blankets were too hot, but it was too cold without them.
The alarm on your phone signalling it’s time to feed Fanny goes off. You throw the blankets off and wipe dried tears. The tv screen flashes a “keep watching screen.” You aren’t really sure when it came up but your mind hadn’t registered the tv in a couple days.
When the door clicks unlocked you scream. Silence had filled the apartment for so long and the sound was louder than anything you’d ever heard. Fanny starts barking, running to the door, then coming back and sitting at your feet.
You fall to the ground clasping the food scoop. Fanny licks your face as tears fall. Every fear that had plagued you came to the forefront of your mind. What if it wasn’t Yelena? What if it was Hill telling you to come in? No, they would call you for that. But if Yelena was dead…
Arms wrap around and pick you up, setting you on the couch. You whip your head back and forth trying to catch a glance of who it is. In the back of your mind you know it's her, but for some reason you’d been convinced over the past week that she’s dead.
A warm towel wipes away dried tears and snot, and a soft hand holds yours. Tears blur your vision but you steady your breaths. The anxiety in your chest dissipates. You lean your head back forcing the tears in and look back to catch a look at the woman you love. But, instead of long blonde hair and soft round face,  you see long red hair, falling in waves.
“Lena? Did you have to dye your hair for the mission?” She frowns and shakes her head, setting down the towel.
“Fuck Y/N. I know you can’t remember but I hate having to keep telling you this,” The voice is not Yelena’s. It’s your friends. Wanda’s. Your eyes look her all over and you tense up confused.
“Tell me what Wanda? What’s wrong with Lena?” She grabs both your hands and looks at you with the softest expression she can muster.
“The fire Y/N. Do you remember? The fire where Lena…. She bled out,” The anxiety of the dream. No memory. The smoke, your raw throat, and the hours of sobbing.
You shake your head and quick breaths fill your lungs. Wanda tries to get you to calm down. Your vision spots while your brain searches for oxygen your hyperventilating can’t provide.
“Y/N please calm down. Please. FUCK! I promised to never use it without permission but between the two of you…” Red magic flows from her hands and wraps around your head. Your breathing slows down and your vision comes back. Wanda cradles your head and hums.
You reach up and see the tear streaks on her face. Her eyes look bloodshot and dark circles are prominent under her eyes. You pout and try to hug her back. All the fears that had consumed you for weeks were now gone. Even if it was only by Wanda’s magic. You curled into her side and fell asleep. Finally able to find some peace.
~
It was the night of the charity gala. You drove home but had taken the long way around to cool off from your mothers subtle aggression. Plans on how to ignore her future advances build in your mind as you pull into the parking garage. You stepped out of the car and held your head in your hands. You hadn’t drank that much, but a headache would be inevitable.
Sirens sound from the road in front of your complex and you growl. The loud noise and lights make your head pound. You shake your keys and walk towards the stairwell. Coughing into your arm and you open the door to your floor. You throw your hand back with a scream at the hot door handle.
“the fuck…? NO!” forgetting your pain you throw open the door and run into the building. Smoke flows from under doors and fire licks at the walls. The sound of the siren gets louder from some open window. You run through the halls trying your best to not breathe in smoke. Yelena would be asleep. She wouldn’t know what’s happening.
Your apartment door is on the right and you stand back and kick the handle. Your foot hurts as it contacts the rough wooden door but it cracks. You kick again and the door falls in. Running through the door you smack your arm into the frame and cry out in pain.
Fanny barks from one of the rooms and you follow the noise letting her run free into the hallway. You hope dearly that the dog finds her way out.
The entirety of your home is consumed in flames. Beams that held up the apartment above you are on the floor. The poor old couple who was always so nice. Hopefully they had gotten out before it collapsed. Running to your bedroom you try to open the door. It gives quickly but before you can get to Yelena a strong arm grabs at your back.
“What the? HEY!” you squirm trying to slip out of the grip. You have no luck and result to punching. Nothing makes the arms let you go as they pull you from the building. Along the way down you consider it may be a firefighter saving your life.
“Please. My girlfriend, she’s still in there. Please, she was asleep. Save her. I can get out,” you plead with your “saviour”. The person doesn’t acknowledge any words or attempts of movement. They just carry you out of the building back into the parking garage. At some point you began crying, fearing for your girlfriends and your neighbours lives.
You are carried to a car and roughly thrown in. Your broken wrist, now remembered, aches and you curl into a ball. The driver doesn’t speak to you and the person who carried you doesn’t get into the car with you. You didn’t register the person in the back seat with you until they cough. Or rather She coughs.
“Oh Y/N I’m glad we got you out ok. I was so scared we wouldn’t be able to get you out before the fire got you too,” Your eyes widen at the familiar voice and you sit up looking into her eyes. The pieces fall into place in your mind. No you’d never thought she’d be this cruel. Yet here you were, Yelena and Fanny. They were in there.
“You didn’t. no no you didn’t. You are cruel and hateful but not murderous,” you pull away as a hand strokes your cheek. Hate flashes behind your eyes.
“Oh honey. You will forgive me when you realise it was for the sake of the family. Like they always say; ‘Mother knows best.’”
(So it has been decided this is going to be a series. Follow and shoot me an ask if you wanted to be added to the tag list for updates)
DO NOT repost my work. Reblogs and Likes are appreciated. If you enjoy my work leave a comment!
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daisybeewrites · 3 years
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July — d.j.
for @dreamcxtcherr ‘s 3k writing challenge. congrats lena!!
word count: 1.8k
warnings: mention of car crash/death, mention of alcohol consumption, daisy cries, i think thats it lmk if not!!
ship: R x daisy johnson
okay y’all… first ever anggstttttt!!! i’m way too excited about it. if you want a fully immersive experience, i recommend listening to july by noah cyrus slowed + reverb
(gif uncredited on pinterest (ugh, i hate that. credit a gif if you use it!! im trying to find the owner)) update — found owner
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It was another mission. Another nightmarish fire-fight where you almost lost a limb, almost lost a friend, almost lost your life. Twenty-four hours later and you’re back home, safe.
Well, as safe as you can be when your engagement is on the verge of breaking off.
You stare at the simple ring on your left hand. White gold band, a tiny amethyst set to the left of a diamond. There was a nearly identical one lying next to the sink, the only difference being the switched places of the glittering gems.
You know she didn’t do it purposefully. You had both been exhausted after what was supposed to be an in-and-out mission turned into a hostage situation. Daisy did what she always did as soon as you were home — take off her gauntlets, wash her hands in the sink, grab a snack, and hop into a steaming shower.
But you still can’t stop yourself from staring at it, eyes fixed, hands shaking, breath held and mind racing.
You used to join her. You would wash each other’s hair, ease each other’s sore muscles with delicate touches on tender purple-black bruises. She would lean into you, letting you braid her hair and falling asleep in your arms, drifting into a deep slumber. It was intimate, lovely; it was normal and perfect.
Taking a sip of your room-temperature beer, you slide off the cool granite of the kitchen island. You had a new routine after missions now, you just had to get used to it.
You hear the shower shut off, bare feet pad into your cosy bedroom, and the door shut with a loud creak. The minute squeak of the mattress tells you that Daisy flopped into bed.
A ghost of a smile lights your face. It looks more like a grimace, you think, as you check your distorted reflection in the green glass of your beer bottle. Chucking the empty bottle in the recycling, you run a hand through your dirty, salty hair. The comfy sweats you changed into an hour ago would need to be washed, the dirt still adorning your skin rubbing off on the black material. You exhale before heading down the hall towards the bathroom.
The tiled room is filled with steam, the mirror fogged up so that only a blurry outline of your silhouette could be seen. You are unrecognizable.
How fitting.
The quick, cold shower you take does nothing to ease your mind or body. You wipe the mirror in a circle, taking out a first aid kit.
With all your cuts bandaged and the proper creams Jemma had snuck to you and Daisy applied to your fresh bruises, you headed into the hallway in your towel.
Daisy is standing in the kitchen, lilac lounge shorts you bought her last Christmas showing off her tanned and scarred legs. She looks warm and soft, a very different Daisy than the superhero who had broken a mob boss’ legs just hours before. Her hair is wet and in braids. You frown. You always braid her hair.
If she hears you, she doesn’t turn around, so you take a moment to admire her. Ten seconds, that’s all you give yourself. It was a stressful mission, if you stare too long she might snap. From the back, you can’t see the dark circles you know are there, but you can see the tension in her shoulders and the slight tilt of her head as she ponders what to eat.
You say nothing as you go to the bedroom to change. You find a black pair of SHIELD sweats and an old, holey t-shirt you vaguely remember stealing from Fitz. A presence at the doorway catches your attention.
“Hi,” Daisy says tentatively. Your breath caught in your throat, your lungs holding the air captive until Daisy spoke again.
“I missed you.”
Your eyes widened. Maybe tonight wouldn’t end with one of you on the couch, clutching a six pack while the other cried as quietly as possible, tucked into cold, lonely sheets.
“Braiding my hair, I mean,” She clarified. Her fingers twisted together, rigid posture giving away her nerves.
The air felt humid, as if the open window had suddenly sucked all the AC out and let the mid-summer heat in. Your memory flashes to the last time you and Daisy had a normal, happy conversation.
The edges are fuzzy, but the pure joy in Daisy’s chocolate eyes is clear. Fairy lights strung haphazardly around the living room, a movie playing in the background, your lips on hers. Blankets make a ceiling over your head that shut out the rest of the world, this moment was only for you two. You played with the thin metal band on her ring finger, she ran her hands through her hair. Her matching ring scratched your scalp lightly. You both smile as you pull away. You whisper childhood stories, laugh at the funny parts and offer melancholic smiles at the not-so-lighthearted parts. You were happy.
That night you got the call — Lincoln Campbell, yours and Daisy’s best friend, had wrapped his car around a telephone pole coming off of a long shift at the hospital. His blood alcohol was almost .40.
Eggshells littered the house from the time you got back from the funeral. One wrong word, Daisy would snap and spend hours punching a bag until her fingers bled. You would fill those hours with whatever was closer — wine or your car keys. You pulled yourself out of your head, realizing you should answer her.
“I missed it, too,” You breathed.
Daisy made a small, unintelligible noise before collapsing against the door frame. You froze for only a second, your mind racing through possibilities. Was she bleeding internally? Was it her back again? Did she get shot and not notice until now?
You leap over to her, catching her as she crumbles to the hardwood floor.
A quiet sob wracks her chest. Your hands hover over her slouched back, unsure how to comfort her. At this moment, Daisy feels foreign. Her sudden vulnerability alerts you to how she’s been holding her emotions in for god knows how long.
“Daisy…” You start, hesitantly.
Daisy hiccups loudly, another wave of tears washing over her.
“Tell me to leave, I’ll pack my bags,” Daisy cried, “But I don’t, I-I don’t want to lose you!”
Burning tears gather on your lash line, threatening to fall at her words. You never could stand to see Daisy cry.
Your brows furrow slightly in confusion before you realize what Daisy is talking about. After Lincoln’s death, you two had fought increasingly more often until Daisy locked herself away or spent the night at May’s, and you went for drives until your car ran on empty. On those nights, bottles of wine disappeared from the cabinet without a trace.
Daisy sits up, stamping down her sobs, seemingly resigning herself to the fact that you aren’t going to say anything. Her trembling lip and red eyes pierce your heart. The astronomical distance between you two seems atomic now. You reach out quicker than lightning, shushing her cries and rubbing her back.
“Do you want to go?” You asked after a while. Your knees dig uncomfortably into the floor, your shoulder hurts from the ridges in the doorframe.
Daisy sniffles, her hair falling into her face as she looks away. You crane your neck down, carefully tucking her hair behind her ear.
“You know I’m afraid of change, I guess that’s why we’ve stayed the same,” You sigh, your chest constricting and squeezing the broken glass pieces of your heart.
You take a deep breath, steeling yourself to continue, “But if you want to find a new life, someone who loves you better than I do, darling, I understand.”
Daisy is still frozen, stare burning holes in the floor. You’re glad that the two of you are at home, the poly-tectic adaptive materials hidden between the walls keeping the house from collapsing. By the slight groan of the foundation, you can imagine Daisy could bring down a mountain with the amount of pain she’s in.
Which can only mean one thing.
“I’m not enough,” You stated. It wasn’t a question. You glance down, a glint in the low light cast from the lamp on the bedside table catching your eye. She has her ring on…
Daisy finally, finally shakes her head ‘no’. You let go of a breath, guilt building every second that passes. She isn’t happy. You shouldn’t be happy that she’s staying.
“Feels like a lifetime, we’ve been trying to get by while we’re dying inside,” You say, gently.
Daisy snaps her eyes to yours, a desperation in them you recognize as grief.
“So much of the past year has been consumed by grief. We never took time off, we never talked about it. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, loving you being one,” She whispers.
You nod, there is no denying that you each had a part in getting to where you are now. Delicately, you grab her hand. She squeezes it, a rush of small vibrations traveling up your arm. Your chest flutters at the familiar affection.
“So have I,” You assure her. She gradually falls towards you, exhausted. You let her rest her head on your shoulder, her breath evening out as her arms wrap around you. You feel hot tears flow down your face, fall onto her hair. Slowly, you pull Daisy closer to you.
Hours later, the sun peeks over the top of the mountain range in the distance. You had adjusted the two of you sometime around two a.m., no longer able to feel your legs from how the floor cut off your circulation.
Sometime around three, you had gathered the courage to move Daisy to the bed, trying hard not to wake her. She had only turned over and not let go of your hand.
You haven’t slept at all tonight, thoughts spinning until you force yourself to pause and count to ten, only to repeat the pattern.
You know what you have to do. You know what’s best for the both of you. You’ll leave, pack your bags and find a place to stay until you can scrape up enough money to rent an apartment. You’ll go to therapy, learn to live without Lincoln, without Daisy. Eventually, Daisy will heal, too. You both have the team at your backs, no matter what happens. She would be okay.
But you know you won’t. The fear of losing Daisy, of losing your life, your home, yourself stops you. You can’t move on. You can’t move forward.
You know that the big changes it takes to heal could cost you Daisy. So, you stay the same. You give into fear. You’ll never be enough, never love Daisy right, never quite heal fully — and neither will Daisy. But you still stay.
You’ll always stay the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ahhhh how was it? did you love it? any feedback? want more? put any thoughts/feelings/questions/concerns in the comments or my ask box!! i really enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoyed reading it even more!!
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imaginesmai · 4 years
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Arvin Russell - The preacher’s sins (1/2)
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Requested by an anon, please enjoy it! It was too long, so I divided it in two parts. I’ll post the next one tomorrow!
Plot: there is nothing bigger for you than the love you feel for Arvin Russell. Not a lot of people can awaken what he does in you, with his cheeky smile and chocolate eyes. Now, a stranger threatens to break that bond, manipulating where it hurts the most.
Warnings: It’s the devil all the time, and you know the preacher. So if you’re reading this, it’s because you’re alright with what’s about to happen. Anyway, violence and manipulation.
Arvin’s car was waiting for you when your shift at the café ended. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face when you thought about the upcoming events; a whole weekend just for the two of you, in your house since your parents were away in a business travel. That meant you could sleep in the same bed, have your own space and dream about finally moving in together. As you crossed the street jogging, your bag hanging from your left shoulder, you thought you could get used to it.
He was smoking, looking ahead and lost in his thoughts. Some wild strands of hair had fallen on his face, making him look a bit more childish that usually. Arvin Russell looked as handsome as ever, and for two whole days, would be handsome only for you.
“Arv” you announced your presence when you climbed in the seat beside him, rubbing your arms in an attempt to get ride of the rain’s coldness.
“Hey, pretty girl”
Arvin dropped his denim jacket over you, and while you put it on, he threw his cigarrete through the window’s car, moving his hand around to get ride of the smoke. Once he made sure you wouldn’t choke with it, he closed the car’s windows and looked at you with a half-smile.
“I can’t believe it’s finally happening” you giggled softly, enjoying that moment of excitement and peace.
“Hope ya haven’ changed your mind” Arvin quickly pressed his lips against your cheek, before starting the car. “How was work?”
As you started talking about a cute dog which owner had let you pet, Arvin drove you to your house. He managed to listen to the story, drive safely and sneak a hand so that he could hold yours.
During most of the weeks, it was hard to see him. He was busy with his family and his part times job, taking what he could to earn a little money. Lenora took a lot of his time too, because she often got picked up by the bullies at highschool and Arvin insisted in picking her up every day. Then, he went with her to the grave yard to visit his mother, and he stayed with her until she finished. Sometimes, he would sneak for a few minutes and come visit you in the café, ordering the cheapest thing in the menu and watching you for afar.
Neither of you had a lot of free time. Your family, humble and hard-working, was also very conservative, so even if they accepted your relationship with Arvin, they didn’t like when he stayed at night. His family didn’t have a lot of free space neither, and if they had they didn’t see with good eyes sleeping together before marriage.
That week hadn’t been different. You had been working every afternoon until the sun came down, and then drove back home. The only difference was that you had been stopping briefly at the church, to talk with the new preacher. You knew Arvin didn’t like him – which was why the mood darkened on the way to your house.
“He ain’t good, Y/N” he grumbled, briefly looking at you.
“You don’t know him, it’s just – he’s new here, he needs a chance to prove himself” you defended. “I know what he did to your grandma was wrong, but we can’t judge him by one mistake!”
“It wasn’ just one mistake. He talks and talks ‘bout how everyone is a sinner but ‘im” Arvin protested.
“Arvin, please” you shifted closer to him and placed a hand on his arm. “It’ll be just a few minutes. He told me he needed my help with something, you don’t even have to see him.”
The preacher, indeed, had told you the previous day that he wanted to meet you in the church on Friday. You hadn’t told him your plans with Arvin, even if he was kind of interrupting your peaceful weekend with your boyfriend; probably, because you knew he wouldn’t approve you spending the night with him.
Deep inside, you knew that Arvin was probably right; he always was at the end, no matter what he was talking about. He was the one who said that the boy who Lenora’s was after wasn’t a good man, and now he had fun chasing her with a bag and awful words. There was something about the preacher that you didn’t like either, but you still didn’t know what. For now, you wanted to be on his good side.
“So? Can we stop?”
“I’d feel better if not” Arvin scoffed. “But I guess that’s a yes”
Arvin stopped on the graveyard, an empty place where the sun was setting already. It was dark and silent, and even you, who wanted to stop, were starting to reconsider the decision. You looked out the window, seeing that the church’s door was open and a dim light could be seen from the inside. Arvin exited the car without another word, and you knew he was pissed. He wasn’t too keen on sharing his feelings, even more when they weren’t of love or happiness.
You had been dating for seven months officially, and it had been ten since he asked you for a date after your shift at the café. There was no way you could make him talk about it and comfort him before the sun disappeared completely, so you decided to ignore him and walk towards the church. Still, before entering you looked back, half expecting him to be ready to leave and pick you later. But he had lighted up another smoke and was leaning against the car, looking to his feet.
Much less happier than before, you entered the church. You wanted nothing more than Arvin to be happy, and if you were up to wish anything, for him to have a better relationship with the rest of Knockemstiff; starting with the preacher.
He was sitting in the first row, reading from a small book. The faint lights you had seen came from the candles, which made the place much more scarier than usually. You didn’t think anything about it, not even when you made yourself heard by calling him and he told you to close the door. It was a cold, October day, so you guessed there was nothing wrong with it. After looking at Arvin once more, and receiving no smiles, you closed the door behind you.
“What did you want me for, preacher?”
“Come sit with me, Y/N” he patted the bench beside him, and you approached him. “You ever read the bible?”
“Um, a little. Lenora reads to me sometimes, a-and from what I hear on Sundays” you explained, not really wanting to say it out loud.
The truth was that you had never learned how to read. You had had to drop out of highschool at a young age because your mother had fallen ill, and your father couldn’t manage the family business on his own. With no money to buy books or material, your father had you help in on the shop. You were good with numbers, from years of experience, and you were starting to know what some words were written like thanks to Lenora and Arvin. But not a lot of people in Knockemstiff knew that you didn’t write the orders down in the café because you didn’t know how.
The preacher hummed, finally raising his eyes from the small book on his lap. He shifted closer to you, until you were sure you could hear his heartbeat. He showed you what he had been so focused on, and while you knew some of the letters, it all looked like garbage.
“This is my favourite part” he said, his voice soft but with a sharp edge. “Mom used to read it to me every night, too. You know it?”
“U-um, yeah” you said. Quickly, you tried to search for a word that you could understand. Lenora always read to you a passage of the bible when you went to their house, and maybe you could know what was it about. However, the preacher closed the bible before you had time to find it.
“God is merciful and benevolent, Y/N” he stretched one arm behind your shoulders, and you felt tears run to your eyes when you understood he knew it. It wasn’t something to be ashamed of – Arvin had managed to convince you it wasn’t, but you felt embarrassment crawl through your spine. “He forgives us all, all of our sins. But you know what is what he doesn’t forgive? Lies”
The back of your hair was grabbed with so much force that you emitted a low cry. If the door had been open, maybe Arvin would have heard you. But he angrily pacing around the graveyard, thinking about how he shouldn’t be so hard with you, and you were too afraid and embarrassed to scream any louder.
You were met with the preacher’s hard eyes, hateful and unforgivable. The back of your head throbbed from how hard he was gripping it, and finally a lonely tear made its way down your cheek. It seemed to offend him more, because he squeezed harder.
“You think you’re worthy of stepping into this temple?” he hissed, his hot breath making you shudder. “You think I wouldn’t find out that you can’t read? Or that you spend the nights with that boyfriend of yours?”
“Preacher –“
“Shut the fuck up!”
The nice man who you had been talking to the rest of the week disappeared in thin air, and you were thrown to the ground with a force you didn’t know the kind preacher had. A small cry of pain left your lips as your right wrist bent awkwardly against the edge of the bench, and you tried to move away. But the preacher had other ideas, because he hoisted you up until his face was inches away from you again.
You were sure he would just bash your head against the bench and Arvin would only have your cold body for the weekend when his face morphed, and that calm that always surrounded him was back. He sat on the bench again, and put his head against his hands, as if he was in deep thinking. Before you could think about running out of there screaming Arvin’s name, the preacher talked.
“Get naked”
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kisekinodrabbles · 3 years
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Can we get detective Aomine, who gets assigned a female partner but from the start they're always at each other's throats. During an undercover case, reader has to be super flirty and Aomine gets all jealous and mutual confessions ensues. Maybe some sexy times at the end? :') Sorry if this is too specific, feel free to come up with your own interpretation! I'm such a huge fan of your work Sam and I'm so excited that you're opening your askbox even just for a little while!
ngl idk what im doing here but this is the last request in my inbox so i wanted to finish it haha pls enjoy (not proofread so excuse mistakes) - also my first time writing smut in like years so forgive me!!
Sometimes, Aomine thinks that if he isn’t a law and order professional, he thinks he might actually commit murder and hide your body away in some undisclosed, obscure location. Most of the time, you feel the same way about him. 
The two work in different divisions—Aomine in homicide and you in robbery. The two divisions have always been highly competitive especially given how much overlap you both encounter. Things can get territorial, but their teams are used to your snide remarks and Aomine’s verbal assault. It’s just the way the world works. 
After all, the two of you were in the same graduating class. You, a valedictorian by books. Aomine, top of the class by combat. It’s natural that the two of you are so competitive with your conflicting personalities.
The two of you may have also fucked at some point. 
“I’m not fucking working with her, are you kidding me?” Aomine spits out at his boss. Any other person would’ve been kicked out of the room or probably fired, but Aomine is the best detective in his division so Akashi would never do such a thing. For now. Aomine’s been wearing his patience thin. 
The red-haired man sighs, folding his hands together atop his desk. “Aomine, I understand you both have had your immaturity in the past. This, however, isn’t the time for such trivial matters. There’s a double homicide downtown during a robbery. She’s the lead for the case on the robbery end because they’ve been tracking a series of these.” Aomine opens his mouth to argue again. “No more buts. She’s already down there getting witness statements. Unless you want to be behind again, I suggest you get in your car and start driving.” 
He grits his teeth. Breathe. Don’t strangle your boss, he’ll probably kill you first. “I’ll take Wakamatsu.”
By the time he arrives on the scene, a crowd has gathered behind the police line, snapping pictures in the hopes of getting something Twitter worthy. He growls past all of them and ducks underneath the tape. “Where’s the officer that called it in?”
“Inside talking to the detective.”
“I’m the detective,” he snaps right back, knowing full well you’re already three steps ahead of him. And you definitely won’t let him forget that.
He marches past the thick front doors, Wakamatsu in tow. From a distance, he spots you talking to another officer. When he finally approaches you, he realizes that you’re in a skin tight dress covered by an oversized police jacket.
Your name slips past his lips. “Did we interrupt a hot date?” He smirks.
You whirl around, knowing full well the irritating voice that grates on your nerves. Aomine Daiki. “Unlike you, I have actual friends and actual plans on a Friday night. Did you decide to give your wrist a break for the night?” 
Aomine bites back, “Well, it’s not getting much rest either when I had my fingers knuckle deep in something tight and wet tonight.” Complete lie but he’s not about to lose this battle. “Not sure you know how that feels though.”
“If you’re talking about the pudding in your fridge, you might want to ease up on that. Doesn’t look like it’s doing you any favors,” you smile right back at him, knowing full well you’ve won this argument.
Aomine growls low under his breath, jabbing Wakamatsu hard with his elbow when he hears the snort escape him. “Brief me on the situation,” he tells the police officer.
“Well, uh, I already told this detective here—”
“I’m the other detective in charge for homicide. Now, you better fucking brief me before I tell your captain.”
The guy glances at you warily and you just laugh. “Told you he hasn’t gotten any in a long time. Come on, sugar, I’ll brief you on the way down to the vault.” You curl your finger in a gesture to get him to follow you and he sucks up his pride for the first time and do as he’s told. If he solves this case, he still gets the credit and you can go back to that sewer where you came from.
There are two bodies at the vault and forensics are already working to collect evidence when they arrive. “Your area of expertise, double homicide. Both are surprisingly the robbers. Four of them broke in, only two were seen exiting with money bags. No other casualties.”
“Fucking weird,” Aomine mutters. It’s not new for robberies to go wrong, but for two of them to die with no civilian casualty? That’s fucking weird.  
“Interesting, isn’t it?” You grin, seeming way too pleased considering there are two dead people in front them. “The ammo is the same as the previous bank robberies in the area. We’re going to assume they’re linked to the Red Dragon clan.”
“Fuck,” he groans, “I fucking hate those guys. Bitches to deal with. Hard to infiltrate.”
You flick your hair over your shoulder, grinning at him. He can’t help but draw his gaze to your neck, a very attractive neck. Now that he notices how tight that dress is, he can’t help but admit that it has been a while since he’s gotten any action. The curves of your breast defined so clearly by the fabric that stretches across the mounds, the flow of your hips, every dip and rise. Your exposed legs further emphasized by your heels. God fucking damn. He feels his pants tighten as he licks his teeth. Get it together, Aomine. 
Of course, the clothes do nothing to remove the memory of your nude body from his mind. He’s seen all parts of you some time ago. A drunken mistake that ended in a brief, but extremely satisfying night of passion. Your tight pussy wrapped around his cock, your nails digging into his biceps. He can still picture the sheen layer of sweat on your skin as he rams into you, your broken moans falling from your lips. 
“Well, lucky for you,” you start again, pulling him out of the hazy cloud of lust. “I already have someone on the inside. They’ve set up a meeting for me tomorrow night meet with the head’s son. I’ll try to get some information done.” 
“Lucky for you, I’m free tomorrow to be your backup. You’re welcome,” Aomine smiles, “Don’t fuck this up. I don’t feel like cleaning up after your ass.”
“I should say that about you, asshole.”
Aomine is sat in a dingy van just across the street from the bar you’re having your meeting. You’ve hidden your mic in the perfect spot, a location which you do not disclose to Aomine. However, he has a feeling it’s somewhere promiscuous that he wants to be aware of. They can see the restaurant clearly, their brat hacker Sakurai having plugged into the restaurant’s security cameras. 
“Shut the fuck up, Aomine. I can hear you munching on your stupid sour cream and onion chips.” You mutter into your mic before the guy arrives. You sip your wine and take a deep breath. This isn’t the first time you’ve gone undercover but it is the first time to have Aomine behind you while you do so. 
The detective looks down at the can in his hands. Sour cream and onion. How did you know? He sets it aside, bringing the mic up to his lips. “Maybe you should do your job better and focus on your meeting instead of listening to me. Why are you so obsessed with me, hm?” 
However, a man’s voice on the other side of the headphones has him straightening. “Good evening, I didn’t expect to be meeting a lovely lady like you tonight,” the sleaze says and Aomine can just imagine him kissing your hand. “When Tanaka said I’d be meeting with the right hand of White Claw, I didn’t expect it to be a woman.”
“Well, we are moving up in life, Mr. Ito.”
“Your good looks are certainly quite persuasive. I’m sure there are ways you can convince me to strike a deal.”
Fucking. Sleaze.
“Oh,” you laugh lightly, “what a flatterer. You’re not so bad yourself. I can imagine people fall at their feet for you.”
“Well, I am quite knowledgeable in more ways than one. Perhaps I can show you tonight after dinner.”
The two banter back and forth, trading flirty comments that puts Aomine on edge. You’re supposed to be doing your job and he knows that. He knows this is all an act but you’re a damn good actress. 
“Aomine, where are you going?” Wakamatsu’s concerned voice carries through the speaker.
You freeze. This fucker better not screw this whole operation up. “Well,” you say, “this has been a lovely dinner. I’m sure we both can come to an agreement without doing anything reckless.” 
The double meaning, a sentence meant for the man across from you and the man listening to you rings clear. Aomine growls, sitting back down petulantly in his seat. He was about to rage in there and start a war, but holds himself back. Be professional, Aomine. Job first, dick needs later. 
“The same to you. It’s been a pleasure meeting you,” the man smiles. “Are you sure you won’t join me for the night?”
Aomine snarls low into his mic. Wakamatsu shoots him a weird look. You let out a little giggle and he knows it’s meant for him. “No, thank you, Mr. Ito. I’m afraid I have other commitments to tend to.” 
When he knows it’s safe, he storms into the restaurant where you still sit, sipping your drink. Sliding into the seat across from you, he rolls his eyes. “Enjoy yourself?” 
He didn’t see when you were set up with the mic earlier so he also hadn’t seen what you were wearing. He’s almost grateful because he knows he might’ve lost it if he did. Tight ass dress, deep neckline that shows ample cleavage (he’s always a sucker for this), sultry eyes, red lips. God, all his favorite things packaged into one. 
Your lips quirk up. “The breadsticks here are quite nice.”
“Fucking hilarious. Let’s go.”
“Why the hurry?”
“Unless you want Wakamatsu to hear me fuck you, you better dump that mic and get your ass up.”
You lean back, narrowing your eyes at him. “I’m not sure I like your tone.”
“Trust me, you don’t have to like my tone to enjoy what I’m going to do to you.”
Licking your lips, you consider your options as you bring the wine back to your lips. “Fine,” you mutter, unclipping the mic from the strap of your dress. Aomine moves faster though, snatching it from your hands and dumping it into the wine. Before you can protest, he already has a hand wrapped around yours, tugging you up from your seat and into the back room. 
You’re stumbling in his manic rush, heels barely keeping up with your movements. “Aomine!” You chide as he pushes all the way to the employee break room. The space is fortunately empty and Aomine locks it to make sure it stays that way. “Can you please stop?! You’re such a caveman, I—”
He’s quick to shut you up, swallowing your words with his lips as they slot over yours. He doesn’t waste time, shrugging off his leather jacket as he licks your bottom lip for permission. You gasp a complaint, but he takes advantage of the situation to stick his tongue in, pressing it up against yours. 
All your worries fall away into a moan as he separates from you only to gasp for breath and pull his t-shirt over his head. With nimble fingers, he’s unzipping the back of your dress and yanking it down, leaving your top half exposed. Shivering, you’re about to voice your disapproval but your brain seems to stop functioning the second your gaze lands on his tanned body.
Aomine’s always been attractive. No one can deny. There’s a reason why he’s simultaneously the precinct’s most eligible bachelorette and most insufferable jackass. His confidence matches his skills. His looks live up to his brags. Hard lines and shadows are painted on him like a masterpiece in a museum. His broad shoulders make him look even bigger with his height. His jeans that hang just low enough to be tantalizing with the hint of a v that leads to the space between his legs. 
Your mouth dries up at the sight and Aomine smirks knowingly. You’ve fallen into his bed before, he can make it happen again. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Fifth grade humor doesn’t become you, Aomine.” You scowl as he backs you up against the table in the middle of the room. He effortlessly grabs you by the ass to lift you up and onto the surface, the metal cool against your exposed thighs. 
“Did you dress up for me, doll? Knowing full well that this was going to happen,” he grins devilishly, bringing his hands up to shamelessly cup your breasts. 
It’s not as if you’re embarrassed for being so bare before him. You’re proud of your body and he damn well knows that. You let him fondle you through your bra for a little bit. “No, you animal. I dress for the job.”
“You tell me you wear this flimsy thing—” he teases the light coverage of your lingerie. The lace is sheer and barely covers your nipples, the material holding onto your breasts for dear life. “—for the job?”
“I do my job right, asshole,” you spat right back. “So are you just going to stand there or are you going to fuck me?”
A wide grin stretches across his face. The heat in his eyes carry to his hands as he works to unclasp your bra and let it fall to the ground. Aomine doesn’t waste time as you lean back on your palms, granting him full access to fondle and suckle on your tits. His tongue swirls around the sensitive nubs that have grown stiff in the contrast between the cold air and his warm breath. His teeth graze the sensitive skin hard enough to have you groaning in pleasure. His lips close in around them and suck. He uses his hand to tease and tug your other breast, pinching it to elicit that delicious whimper out of you. Aomine alternates between the two, making sure you stay warm. 
Meanwhile, you let your hand fall to the bulge between his legs. He lets out a small grunt at the initial touch but seems to respond favorably to the way you stroke the tent, nudging his hips forward for more friction. “Is that a gun in your pants or are you just excited to see me?”
“You’re so fucking ridiculous,” Aomine mutters, both humored and unamused by your comment. 
“Fuck,” you let slip as your fingers struggle to unbutton his jeans. “Your fucking pants. Don’t you live in sweats? You choose today of all days to wear your stupid tight jeans?”
Aomine chuckles, “Patience, baby. You know you like my ass in these.”
You do, but you’re not about to admit that. He quickly works off his pants, letting them drop to his ankles as he moves towards you again. While he continues to stimulate your tits, your hand begins groping his cock which is rock hard and peeking from the top of his boxers.
“God, I miss having this inside me,” you whine, pulling the flimsy fabric off and letting it pool on top of his jeans. “Condom?”
“You don’t want me raw? You know you want to feel all of my cock,” he grins. You throw him a glare and he just chuckles as he reaches for his wallet on the floor, pulling out a packet and tossing it onto the table. “But first,” he pauses, letting his hands slide down to cup your pussy, which is admittedly already drenched at that point. 
He hisses when he feels your juices drip and coat his fingers. “You’re so fucking wet, goddamn. How long have you been waiting for this?”
“When that robbery happened, I was about to get laid for the first time in months. So fucking sue me,” you snarl at him. 
“Well, I am here to please,” he wets his lips. He slips one finger in, sliding in all too easily. So he adds another finger and feels your walls pulse around him. He begins pulling it out before shoving it back in, repeating the measure to stroke your walls. He curls his fingers inside as he watches your face closely.
Your expression morphs from irritation to blinding pleasure in an instant. Your eyes slide shut, your lips part to exhale shaky breaths. Aomine seems to know exactly how to angle and twist his fingers to induce a heart attack. The sounds falling from your mouth are ephemeral, Aomine wishes he can film this moment so he can replay it over and over again. 
He pumps his fingers into you and ducks his head to take your nipple into his mouth again, tongue circling the tip. “God, you taste so fucking good. I forgot how wet you can get. Don’t even need lube to slide into you, huh? You’re already dripping for me.” 
“Asshole,” you murmur weakly, clearly in no place to retort. 
“Remember the first time I fucked you? God, you were so easy,” he grins, “you were so wet, so turned on already. Remember when I stuck my tongue in your pussy? Licking up your juices. You tasted so sweet.” 
Your breath stutters in your chest, hitching in your throat. “Fuck you, let’s not forget how quickly you came when I sucked you off.”
“I mean, the sight of you on your knees is enough to get anyone off, sweetheart.” 
“Fuck me,” you groan. Any rational thought has fizzled from your brain. The feeling of his fingers inside you is enough to consume you whole, overwhelming you in waves of rapture. 
“What was that?”
“Dickwad.”
He chuckles darkly, licking his lips again. “Beg me.”
“I’m not going to—”
Aomine yanks his fingers out, looking down at you, taunting you. He waits as you internally struggle with your moral convictions. Are you willing to give up your pride for one night just to get fucked out of your mind?
Easy.
Yes.
“Please,” you huff, “please fuck me.” 
“Please fuck me who?”
Your eyes find the ceiling, wondering what in the hell you did in your lifetime to have met the devil that is Aomine. Biting your lip, you lean closer to whisper, “Please fuck me, Da-i-ki.” 
The man is a sucker for you calling him by his first name. And to get what you want, you’re willing to play into his hands. Aomine lets out a low growl before ripping open the condom packet and rolling the thin rubber along his length. Your pussy squeezes at the sight. Just imagining what it’s like to have that thickness inside of you, fucking you full, has you on edge. 
He doesn’t waste a single second, pulling you forward and slowly positioning himself in front of you. He holds onto his cock, letting the tip trace your pussy lips, circling it and letting your juices drip onto his cock. Stroking the wetness along his dick, he uses it as a lubricant before he slides himself inside you.
When he’s buried to the hilt, Aomine leans forward and lets his forehead rest on your shoulder. Your pussy is so fucking tight. It’s squeezing and throbbing around him with the engulfing heat. He feels as if he’s going to explode right then. 
“Fuck, you really haven’t been screwed in a while,” Aomine rasps. 
“Told you.”
Aomine starts off slow, pulling out and pushing back in. With how thin the condom is, he can feel every ridge, every bump in your heat rub up against his cock. The sensations is enough to have his thighs quivering, but he’s not one to back down. He begins to pick up the pace, thrusting deep inside of you repeatedly. HIs mouth latches onto your neck, tongue lapping and teeth nipping to paint purple blooms upon your skin. 
His movements are building a bubbling pressure in the pit of your stomach. You feel your heart tightening with every move, your insides squeezing. The absolute pleasure that crashes over you has you breathless, your hands finding purchase on his arms. 
He mutters filthy words in your ear, one of his hands reaching up to tangle in your hair. He yanks back lightly, just enough to have you moaning. You like it rough, he’s well aware of that. He pounds into you relentlessly, hands keeping you in place as whimpers tumble from your mouth. 
“Fuck, right there, oh god,” you gasp, “fuck me harder. God, your dick feels so good. Filling me up so full with your thick cock.” 
“Keep talking like that and I’ll be tempted to come in you, baby,” Aomine grazes his teeth along your ear, hot breath kissing your skin. “God, I want to just fucking cream inside you.” 
“Better watch yourself, Daiki.”
Aomine grins lasciviously, sweat beginning to bead his forehead as he attempts to keep himself in check. He feels you tighten your pussy, walls closing in around him. “Bitch,” he growls. You know what you’re doing but he’s not about to let you gain dominance of the situation.
So his hands dig deeper into your hips as he fucks you harder and deeper, his cock pulsating inside of you on the brink of his self-control. “I’m about to come,” he says with eyes squeezed shut. If he sees your tits bouncing as he fucks you again, he might actually combust in that second. 
“Me too,” you panted, fingers scraping down his arms. 
With a few more pumps, Aomine spills into the rubber with a grunt. He feels you convulse around him, your entire body trembling in the aftermath of your orgasm. He can feel his come continue to leak from his cock. God, he hasn’t come this hard in a fucking long time. 
His heart is thundering in his chest from the impact of his climax. He slumped forward, leaning against you for support—also partially to feel your tits press up against his chest. “Fuck,” he huffs.
“That was good,” you admit to yourself, still breathing heavily as you begin fixing your hair. “We should do that again sometime.”
Aomine just laughs, huffing against your skin. “You’re the fucking she-devil.”
“Says the guy who’s fucking me in the back room in the middle of an undercover operation.”
“Dick first, job second.”
Wakamatsu looks at him when he walks into the precinct that morning. “You do realize the captain is going to kill you for fucking up that expensive mic, right?”
Fuck.
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