#i hate it when cis people think that not mentioning someone is trans at all is the way to go bc they dont want to make it about them being | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bioaccumulation · 1 year

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Passing is not the point of being trans and no trans person has to pass but I will say I am incredibly tickled about how all Wendy Carlos' pre transition look like a lesbian you glued mutton chops on. Its insane.

Talk about destiny

#i found her breakthrough album at the thrift one time i was so excited #also i first learned about her in a recording technology class i took but i didnt know she was trans because the professor never said #i just thought she was the kid of those old stuffy wasps that give names with a different gender conotations like leslie #i hate it when cis people think that not mentioning someone is trans at all is the way to go bc they dont want to make it about them being #trans like how about you tell the class when someone is trans so more transphobic idiots can realize how many trans people there are #in history

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.

I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.

However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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cardentist · 6 months

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The post that was screenshot: [Link] This post with the reply by catgirlforeskin: [Link] A convenient post that I wrote going into it about my gender yesterday: [Link]

obviously I would suggest reading the original post, as it has context for what was being said in those screenshots.

ahem

So Like, We Just Hate People Who Aren't Binary Huh?

We See Someone Come Out About Being Genderqueer And Talk About Their Own Presentation And Sense Of Self On Their Own Post And It's Immediately Responded To With "You're Fetishizing Trans Women By Thinking That You Have Anything In Common With Them."

let's review !

1: I made a Vent Post where I responded to a Cis Person, I made my own post and crossed out their username because I didn't feel like they did anything Wrong, but I wanted to discuss my feelings on it anyways!

2: these feelings were that it's upsetting that people don't seem to think about the trans perspective when discussing gender Stuff, or how marginalization in general plays a factor when discussing representation in media.

3: within Two Notes I got someone crawling into my replies and dms to talk down to me for being trans masc, so I expressed frustration that That's something that happens to me.

4: THEN somebody responded to That to insist that me expressing frustration about people lashing out at marginalized men was harmful to trans women.

you'll notice ! I was a trans person speaking about my own feelings on my own post, responding to a cis person and someone who explicitly harassed me. I did not mention trans women in this post, because it was a vent post. I explicitly say in my response to that post different kinds of trans people venting about their experiences does not imply or take anything away from other sorts of trans people.

so ! what we're left with is !

1: people being Furiously Angry that I would say that all trans people are capable of being hurt and that all trans people deserve to speak about their feelings, enough to rip things out of context and lie

2: People Just Unironically Saying With Their Entire Chest That A Trans Person Who Considers Themselves Both Masculine And Feminine Is Transmisogynistic, Because Being Genderqueer Implies That You Don't See Trans Women As Real Women. Somehow.

so like. where do we go from here huh.

firstly, there's an awareness. I need people to be Aware that this is something that is happening. that we've reached a point where people hate trans mascs so much that they're willing to tear them down for talking about Their Feelings in response to Cis People.

that we've reached a point where people get so blindly Angry when someone suggests that trans people should all be treated with dignity and respect that they're willing to act like this.

I Need people to share things like this, even if it's not this post specifically. because I Need People To Understand the kind of vitriol and hatred that trans mascs are facing simply for being visible At All.

if people aren't aware then they Will end up supporting and spreading this kind of harassment without realizing.

#long post #discourse #transphobia #exorsexism #transandrophobia #trans unity #lateral aggression #exclusionism #this behavior really is identical to exclusionism at this point #unironically my crime was being a trans person and speaking about my feelings #that's what got everybody so mad #and they think that isn't transphobia because they've decided that the Kind of trans person I am is bad #and if I'm not binary in a way that makes it easy to hate me for being that kind of trans person?#then Yes I Am and I'm bigoted for saying otherwise #getting sick of going out of my way to show compassion and understanding to other people only to have them harass me #for the crime of wanting to be treated with dignity in return

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britcision · 3 months

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Alright, it’s time to talk about Lycion and dysmorphia and being a trans allegory

Because… yeah, I think a lot of people can really relate to being scared of mirrors because you hate everything you see in them, and going to extreme lengths to get a body you love

It’s not a complicated allegory

But, and I think this is pretty important and possibly more useful to the trans community than declaring him ours and trans… dysmorphia and dysphoria are not exclusive to trans people

They’re not even particularly related to any part of the body; it can be any part of it

And like 15 years ago when I was learning about trans issues and shit, I went and did a little research, because I eat knowledge. And y’know what fully settled any questions I had?

Found a case about a lady with what is currently being called body integrity/identity disorder, which is basically dysmorphia so severe that people have otherwise healthy limbs amputated to be able to live life in a body they can stand

This lady got both legs fully amputated, got a wheelchair, and became a pillar of her community where before she was almost bed bound

And y’know what, if that’s a thing that can happen and we can all agree that removing her legs was integral to her health, y’know what seems completely trivial by comparison?

Every gender affirming surgery ever

And y’know what is even more trivial?

All the other transition measures that have nothing to do with surgery, like hormones, puberty blockers, and social transitioning

Being trans has become a super political idea for basically no reason whatsoever, but it’s harder to maintain that ideology if you learn about things like dysphoria and dysmorphia as just medical conditions that absolutely anyone can get, and then look at what that means for gender dysphoria

Cuz if peoples’ brains can decide an entire limb has Got To Go then yeah, they’re probably also capable of deciding “that pronoun is Wrong” and we can take that just as seriously; it’s a much easier fix and also free

Basically I’m saying Lycion is our gateway drug cuz if you can understand this elf hates his body so hard he became a werewolf about it, are you really gonna throw a fit over someone getting a packer?

None of this to say you can’t or shouldn’t headcanon him as trans (and unless it comes directly and unambiguously from Ryoko Kui it’s a headcanon, nothing wrong with that it’s what fanon is for)

Just, y’know. Sound folks out on him without mentioning that part right away for your own safety and possibly entertainment 😁👉👉

Oh and super important: he’s not canonically cis either. Pretty sure it was just never specified. Enjoy and apply this knowledge across every character ever whose assigned birth gender isn’t brought up in canon

The thing Lycion definitely is in canon is a goddamn furry and an otherkin allegory, and arrested for awoo crimes. He’s one of only 5 characters in the Adventurer’s Bible with a stated gender (the others being Otta, Kaka, Kiki, and Inutade - everyone else has pronouns but no gendered nouns in English at least)

(Lycion’s “definitely a man” - or “definitely male” in the official translation, which technically excludes him from the gendered committee altogether)

You are, of course, welcome to disregard canon in all things you do - I personally encourage it, it’s much more fun to play in the space and do your own thing, and Dunmeshi has deliciously efficient story telling; there is so much empty space to play in

#delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #lycion #lycion dungeon meshi #trans thoughts #body dysmorphia #gender dysphoria #dysphoria #dysmorphia #everyone’s all about trans headcanons but when you mention theirs is just a cis headcanon… 👀#canon is limited and a suggestion at best #headcanons and fanons are free and wild #my personal headcanon is that lycion absolutely will not have sex in elf shape cuz he hates it #you’re not obligated to join me but are welcome nonetheless 😏#yeah this means he does need to text a guard every time but so does fleki when she gets high and familiars #and that’s canon that she does it #so i just think he would #and mithrun’s not gonna say no #but it’s funnier if he texts pattadol and plays his dysmorphia card and just doesn’t say why he wants to change #anyway hi i am super normal and totally a great person to have in your fandom who will not go super deep on wild tangents #definitely not making knotting jokes in the background shhhhh #i personally am devoid of gender but y’all that have one or more seem to like em

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ventbloglite · 20 days

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Some of you really need to step back a little bit and acknowledge how ignorant you are towards how misogyny affects trans mascs and how you yourself may be perpetrating said misogyny when speaking ill of trans mascs.

Which is not something you should be doing at all, fyi. You can talk about individual shitty trans mascs and certain community issues you dislike which involve or are perpetrated by trans mascs without just being transphobic towards trans mascs in general.

So many times I've seen the sentient of 'AFAB's have it really easy, everyone accepts AFAB's as trans, everyone loves AFAB trans people, the world caters to you, there is basically no problems for you if you're AFAB unlike AMAB folk' shown in a variety of ways from a variety of people including just outright saying it. Not to mention the belitting of trans masc experiences with transphobia and misogyny + the way those interact because they identify as men even though transphobes still consider them to be women and don't give a shit about their actual gender.

A main crux of transphobia (though many other factors which result in hating us come into play, too many to go into now) is that trans people are seen as and treated as their AGAB and punished for not identifying as it or portraying it 'correctly' by society. So tell me why so many seem to 'forget' about how misogyny impacts trans masculine people. Could it be because you believe that advocating for trans women and trans femmes and fighting transmisogyny somehow must involve being transphobic towards trans men due to that radfem influence you've absorbed? The world will never reach gender equality of any kind if everything is 'men versus women' so can we just fucking not bring that into trans spaces please.

Examples!

I saw recently a post which perfectly pointed out the potential risks associated with someone considered 'male' growing out her hair but OP clearly knew absolutely nothing about the same risks associated with someone deemed 'female' cutting his hair. Instead of not making that post or doing some research, OP thus assumed there weren't really any risks likely due to already believing that AFAB trans people have it easy.

The ignorance! Misogyny heavily impacts the way hair is treated on those perceived as women (including body hair) and women/those perceived as women have no end of people policing what they can and can't do with their bodies often taking things to the absolute extreme to do so. Short hair on woman may seem 'more accepted' but AFAB people of any gender could quickly tell you multiple situations where it's not and results in the same violence, abuse, homo(lesbo/butch)phobia and yes possibly even death depending on the situation even if you still identify as a woman. Pretending this doesn't happen is straight up misogyny btw.

'AFAB's pass easily by doing basically nothing' is another frequent one which makes me laugh. 'Passing' for most trans people is so situational and so dependent on what you do or don't do to strictly conform to gender stereotypes if you're even able to do that at all. To suggest that the world ignores feminine gender markers the moment someone's hair is short and their chest appears mostly flat ignores both the complexity of how humans perceive gender and how misogyny comes into play whenever a woman/perceived woman shows any masculinity let alone maleness. Considering the same misogyny comes into play frequently against trans women you'd think it'd be easy to remember.

This general sentiment of 'Being born with a vagina means your life is easy and everything you do will be loved and supported because society adores you. You don't and will never have any real problems, not like anyone born with a penis.' isn't magically okay and absolutely super different to when misogynists say it about cis women because you're using AGAB language and cite 'because you're men and blah blah patriarchy' as the actual reason you're saying it. It's very clearly same shit different coat of paint. The pool is there, your toes are in, stop preparing to dive for Gods sake.

#transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transgender

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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i've seen you mention amab transmascs/afab transfems a few times, would you mind explaining that? i've been thinking about the label but it seems like it might be intersex exclusive and when i tried to look into it i mostly just found discourse.

I know both terms get used a lot by intersex people to describe their experiences, but its used by perisex people (like myself) for a variety of reasons too. I think exclusionary-minded people tend to be more "well you CAN do transness wrong if you're intersex i GUESS but only then!" but I know of a few other amab transmascs/afab transfems who use the terms for other reasons. They're pretty generic terms to describe anyone whos transmasc/fem but not the "opposite" agab.

I call myself transfem for a few reasons, namely:

Coming out as queer (and soon after, trans) at a pretty young age and having my experience with gender being heavily shaped by that & the distance it created between me and all my cis peers (especially as one of few out trans kids at my school/s) (seriously being The GNC Queer Kid surrounded by mostly cishet gc kids for virtually all of my life was a trip and I hate that thats never considered in gender socialization discourse. I was assigned female at birth but assigned queer at 5th grade)

Being autistic and being alienated from girl/womanhood for similar reasons

Being multigender & having a really complicated relationship with womanhood that cannot be divorced from my other genders and is inherently trans + being transsexual and feeling that I am unable to be myself as a woman if I do not have a testosterone-dominant body and a penis- thats not to say that having those things is what makes someone a trans woman/transfem, which I think is harmful & something afab transfems/amab transmascs should avoid saying when we talk about our genders. Rather that being my experience transes my womanhood on a core level to me. I could never consider or call my womanhood "cis" for these reasons.

As a result of these things, I feel that I am actively choosing womanhood and taken steps to transition into an inherently trans woman.

#m.#ask box #afab transfem #amab transmasc

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mister-mickey · 7 months

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Sexuality headcanons

(Does not have anything to do with the ship hcs, these are my personal hcs. It’s more related to the twitter au but even then it’s not 100% the same)

Experience doesn’t necessarily mean sex, just like dating and such

Darry

- Cis and gay lol

- He likes guys that fight (Paul, tim)

- That’s why he liked football so much lolol

- Despite this he doesn’t have a lot of experience with other guys because he only dated girls in highschool

Soda

- Bisexual ofc. Also cis but very connected to fem side

- His type is uhh. Mean ppl. He hates to admit it though and makes excuses for his partner/crush

- “No Sandy isn’t cheating on me she just has lots of guy friends!” “Steve isn’t mean he’s just bitey!”

- Has experience with lots of different ppl because he’s so in demand so he’s good at flirting (charming handsome boy)

Pony

- Hm. Also bisexual because if taht obvious crush on cherry but also everyone else in the book lmao. Non-binary in a “I don’t give a fuck about my gender” way. Still he/him

- Doesn’t have a set type, it’s literally just anyone. He meets someone? Oh wow, new crush.

- It seems like he’s attracted to assholes, but it’s actually just because everyone around him is an asshole

- No experience, he’s 14 and kind of losery (I love him still, not pb hate)

Twobit

- Bisexual but leans towards girl, cis

- Canon that he likes blondes, so I bet he’s made out with dally at a party at least once.

- Marcia is an obvious exception to this and he doesn’t understand it. He jokes about her dying her hair blonde but he really does like her as is

- Lots of experience I’m sure. He’s funny and charming, I’d be surprised if he didn’t

Dally

- Bisexual but leans toward guys, cis

- Likes people that kick his ass (tim, Sylvia) honestly his type is just people that see him for who he is

- Tim and Sylvia are his toxic exes that he keeps going back to. He hates it but they really are some of the only people that he feels understand him

- He’s Dallas, im pretty sure Ponyboy mentioned him having tons of flings so he’s got experience.

Steve

- Gay, and I read a really good fic where he was ftm and it rearranged my brain so he’s trans now

- His type is pretty boys (soda) he’s mostly only ever had a crush on soda so it’s not like he’s explored his type lol

- He dated evie because she was friends with Sandy and he wanted to double date with soda and Sandy so he could watch them the entire time (jealous mf)

- Zero experience, he refused to even kiss evie and he never had the guts to even look at other guys

Johnny

- Hm. Gay and cis, but he seriously questioned his gender for a bit because he didn’t have much of a self concept and he couldn’t imagine himself at all. He decided to stop thinking about it because it stressed him out

- His type is people that he thinks are better than him (Dallas, for being tuffer, pony, for being smarter) he thinks that being around cool people will make him feel better about himself

- It doesn’t work, but he still likes to do it. Anyway, pony and dally still make him feel better in other ways because they think he’s so cool

- No experience, nobody ever flirts with him (or even notices him) except for Sylvia that one time. He thinks he’s ugly but honestly he just needs to put himself out there

Tim

- Gay and ftm (projecting lolll) very few people know because he was really young when he transed. Like when he was like 4 and his parents were like “hm okay whatever we don’t care anyway.” Also itty bitty titty committee so he doesn’t even have to bind (jealous)

- His type is literally just tough guys. That’s why he dated dallas and why he likes darry. They’re both tough and good at fighting.

- also dated Sylvia but only to make dally mad (and he regretted it because he realized immediately afterwards that he was definitely gay. Sylvia thought it was funny)

- Lots of experience but only with select people (people he can trust)

Angela

- Bisexual but doesn’t realize it lol, cis

- She likes traditionally masculine guys and traditionally feminine girls. Idk why but she likes it. Tbf it’s the sixties she wouldn’t be exposed to many fem guys and masc girls. Maybe she had a crush on Sylvia

- Dated bryon and actually really liked him for a bit. She broke up with him for pb but regretted it lmao.

- Bryon was her first bf so no real experience. Also tim chases any possible beaus away so she’s real unlucky

Curly

- Gay and cis, but too stupid to realize that he’s gay

- His type is any man ever. (Saw tuffponyboy’s post about how curly likes dally, bryon, and Sodapop and I committed it to my belief system)

- But he also likes pony. Maybe he even realizes and is like “omg I’m a homosexual 😧” and he doesn’t realize that everyone around him is also gay and wouldn’t judge him.

- Zero experience, gets no bitches, loser. Also he’s fifteen and he cares more about fighting than smooching

Mark

- Aromantic, asexual and ftm. Idk I feel like it fits him.

- Honestly he cares more about his friends and family than anything else. He literally sold drugs ti support his family (look where that got him)

- Has dated girls before but he hated it so much. Even tried kissing a guy at a party but decided that everyone else was crazy for enjoying this stuff

- A little bit of experience from before he decided that it all just wasn’t for him

Bryon

- Bisexual and cis

- His type is shorter than him (he likes to be tall and feel strong)

- He dated angela and Cathy, but he kissed curly at a party once (claimed it was because he was drunk and curly looks like angela but it’s not true he just thought curly was a cutie (even he’s super annoying))

- He mentioned being a ladies man so yeah he’s got experience.

Cathy

- Straight and cis, but a mega ally !!

- Her type is thoughtful and also big muscles

- She really thought bryon was perfect until he had his, err, mental breakdown and flipped out. It really hurt and she was so worried about him but he shut her out for months so she ended up moving on.

- Pretty sure bryon was her first bf? But she got with pb so she’s got a little bit of experience now

M&M

- I think gay and nb, and he doesn’t care about pronouns at all. He’s nonchalant like that

- Had a crush on mark lol. And Randy. He doesn’t date anyone because the only person he’s come out to is Cathy

- He thinks curly jumps him because he’s gay. Doesn’t realize its because he’s a hippie (curly is stupid but not homophobic)

- No experience, he’s like 13 and has never ever dated. Maybe he’s danced with someone at a school dance but he has no charm

Cherry

- Cishet ally

- Her type is canonly jerks. Very funny miss cherry.

- She dated bob, liked dally, in the series she liked Tim too. Why is she like this 💔

- A bit of experience, she dated bob after all.

Bob

- Bisexual in a homophobic way, cis

- Type is attractive rich people. He would never be attracted to a greaser, he’d rather jump off a cliff

- Dated cherry, likes Randy. He wants a very traditional future with a spouse and two children and he doesn’t think he can get that with a poor person for whatever reason. He also wants to be the “man” in the relationship.

- Lots of experience because he’s a whore I think. Flirts with most any rich person.

Marcia

- Cishet, doesn’t know that gay people are actually real. (When cherry told her she thought it was a joke)

- Type is funny lol. That’s why she likes twobit. I guess that means Randy is somewhat funny

- She actually isn’t that funny herself, she just likes to laugh.

- Very little experience. Randy was her first bf

Randy

- Gay and cis

- He likes bob. That’s it !

- He legit isn’t attracted to anyone else. After bob died he changed his entire ideology and became a hippie !! He was down bad. He doesn’t give a fuck about Marcia she’s just a girl to him

- Only has experience with Marcia and it’s not really the experience he wants because he is bobsexual

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v-anrouge · 7 months

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Hello may i ask why you are against the transfem vil hc but isn't agaisnt the genderfluid & bigender one? /genq

ok this will be a bit long cuz like even though ive answered tis before, i don't think i have given an answer that expressed myself as good as this one

it's because i understand the bigender / genderfluid hcs, in all honesty they make sense, i could def see vil as not being cis, plus, they r only be adding rep to ppl. there's no problem w the genderfluid or bigender hc because it's easy to see someone who is agaisnt gender roles to be trans and it's easy to see vil as someone who identifies with more than one gender

however, the transfem hc is bad because it goes AGAINST vil's character.

had vil not been a character that explicitly says he despises gender roles and even gets angry at the mention of dance moves being "too feminine" for a man to make by epel, there wouldn't be any problem w it, because it makes sense to see a character that presents in a feminine way as a trans woman just as much as it does to see them as just a cis dude who likes to dress feminine. but the whole point with vil's character is that he dislikes and refuses to follow gender roles, hence why he wears makeup, uses dresses, heels and acts in a way many consider feminine, because he wants to fight back the mindset that men need to be masculine and women need to be feminine. the transfem vil hc goes against that because it takes vil, a character that is constantly mentioned to be a man that fights the way society views men, and says "he's actually a woman" all because of the way he acts. do you get it? it's pushing gender roles in the one character in twst that explicitly hates it, it's literally doing what he has been fighting through his career. in the jp game vil calls himself by a gender neutral term, one that is commonly used by women, because he doesn't believe there is such a thing that is "exclusively for women" in the eng, the way they translated was by making him call himself a queen, that is a term made for women but that now days you see being used as a gender neutral term, it doesn't make sense to use those two things as "transfem coding" because literally a quick research on vil's character will show you that he used such terms BECAUSE he is a man and uses them as an attack to the gender roles. if vil WERE to be a trans woman, she would act masculine instead, call herself a king and use terms like handsome, because by following the logic, despite the way he identifies and was born as, he'd still hate gender roles and would fight them, especially because people think that transfem/transwomen HAVE to be feminine, and the ones that aren't get invalidated and hated on a lot of times by their OWN COMMUNITY. the transfem vil hc just simply doesn't make any sense at all and it was made to push gender roles onto a character that was made to break them, furthermore ppl that hc this r like normally super fucking annoying and keep pushing it as canon as if they played through all of vil's stories with their eyes closed and didn't actually take anything he said in.

the hc is problematic to both transmasc and transfem people, especially to those who are gnc, who barely get any rep and ate constantly attacked, ppl don't seem to understand this but this type of hc it follows the made up rules bigots made for genders= men have to masculine otherwise they're not real men, women have to be feminine otherwise they're not real women

when you point out such things ppl will bring up literally anything they can and even accuse you of being transphobic whole supporting a transphobic hc themselves. people don't seem to understand the importance of gender non conforming characters but as someone that is a trans man that doesn't care about how ppl think a trans man should act or look, ive gotten invalidated and harassed because of it, sometimes even by people that are also from the trans community and it hurts, you think you've found your place, a community that will accept you, and then simply because you refuse to follow made up rules, suddenly you're not welcome there anymore, and i know im not the only one who shares such a sentiment because ive seen multiple other ppl abt how hcs like this make them dysphoric (just like me) because they relate to the character and find them to be a safe space and to be comforting because they see themselves in them, so having them be pushes into the rules of society reminds them of what happens to them and it hurts them.

to finish this off; transfem vil hc makes me genuinely dysphoric and brings me bad memories + ive literally been attacked and called the T SLUR by one of the ppl that hc that so i def don't want any ties to that community. meanwhile the genderfluid/bigender/etc hc don't interfere with his character at all and it actually make sense for his character

#✎ ⇣‧₊˚ 【asks

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nothorses · 1 year

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hi! this is a question about pansexuality that i fear asking. tbh i don't really care what anyone identifies as. everyone's part of my community to me. i am trying to wrap my head around bi v pan stuff as someone who is neither. i know bisexuals who are critical of the pan label because to them it distinguishes bisexuality as starkly Not being pansexuality. when definitions of bisexuality have included "attraction regardless of gender, or to all genders (and including trans and nb people)" for many bisexuals since like the 70s which is how i see pansexuality defined a lot of the time

i know that bi and pan have always been concurrent labels and they have a lot of overlap and that some ppl use them interchangeably. and i truly don't care that ppl id as pan. but i do feel weird seeing it juxtaposed to definitions of bisexuality that aren't inclusive of all bisexuals? (ie that bisexuals aren't attracted to ALL genders, just two or more.. when many bisexuals Are attracted to all genders! part of bisexual history is that people have been fighting to let others know Bisexuality is more inclusive than the literal like latin meaning of bi = two). i don't know where to stand on this divide. i love pansexuals and the pan label and the right to self determination in identity but i do understand the argument that it feels hurtful in a biphobic way to say it is inherently a distinct sexuality from being bisexual when it's. like. many bi and pan ppl would define their sexuality in the exact same way other than a difference in specific label. i feel like people hate this opinion lmao!!! please help! even if you hate my opinion too i literally feel like i need guidance KDBDBS

Tbh I think there's a lot of historical context to this whole convo, and I don't think you're alone in being confused. And honestly given the amount of info you have, I think you're in a pretty respectable spot about it. (And I say "historical" here in the sense that I am. 25. and I'm mostly talking about the things I have either seen firsthand, or read about/heard about from others.)

So like- when I was a Young Queer, it was very common for people to define "bi" as meaning "men and women" (or even "cis men and cis women"), and thus "pan" rose to popularity as an alternative to essentially mean "everyone, including trans and nonbinary people".

This was like, early 2010's? And I'm talking about other Young Queer spaces and interactions. And you kind of have to remember that in that time, it was kind of radical to tell people not to call things "gay" if they didn't like them. Joking that people were trans (usually in terms like "lol Justin Beiber is a lesbian") was common even in progressive spaces. I was stunned when a friend of mine asserted that they were just gonna stop using the r-slur, like, at all.

So I can kind of understand why "pan" might have felt like a needed thing at the time. I think it felt like a kind of shorthand for "I'm cool with trans people", and at least from my perspective, that was something you very much needed to state back then.

I think there are a lot of people my age who, if they don't still understand "bi" and "pan" that way, at least kind of "get" where that definition is coming from. And yeah, it's ahistorical as hell! "Bi" has always been inclusive of trans people. Not to mention people have been defining it all sorts of ways for a long time now; there are a ton of definitions out there, and how the word is defined often depends on who you ask.

But then you ask: if we know "bi" is and has always been trans-inclusive, why does anyone still need the word "pan"? And I think the answer is... complicated. And extremely personal, tbh.

This happens with queer language all the time; as terms are cycled out in favor of new ones, people who've been using them hang on regardless. Sometimes they don't know the language has been updated, but usually it's more than that. Usually they have more of a personal relationship with the word, and the community, that they can't just give up in favor of a new word.

Maybe some people who do understand that "bi" is not actually a transphobic term also still view "pan" as shorthand for "I'm cool with trans people", and that's important to them. Maybe they grew up with that word, formed relationships under it, and came out with it. Maybe the pan community impacted them in some profound way, and rejecting it over shifting definitions just doesn't feel right. There could be any number of reasons.

The other part of this is that much as people have come to understand the original definition of "bi" more widely now, the definition of "pan" and "bi" both have taken on multiple definitions as well. I've seen a lot of definitions that seem to exist just to differentiate the two. For example:

Bi: attracted to multiple (but not necessarily all) genders Pan: attracted to all genders

Bi: attracted to all genders, but in different ways, or with preferences Pan: attracted to all genders essentially the same

Bi: attracted to multiple (or all) genders Pan: attraction regardless of gender

I've also seen people use "bi" as the umbrella term, and "pan" as a more specific label beneath it (often with one of those pairs of definitions).

And you mention that "bi" has a lot of different definitions and understandings- so does pan! How a person understands those words, particularly when they identify with them, is going to be deeply personal and very likely very different from the next person. I think a good rule of thumb is to assume that whoever you're talking to may just have a different definition and understanding of the word they're using than you do, and try to ask them about it if it concerns you.

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olderthannetfic · 9 months

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To the person in the replies of the one ask saying “I’ve seen so many popular posts that say ‘op is a terf, this is just terf rhetoric’ so that proves that radfems are reaching people!” oh, how I wish I could be you. I’ve seen people claim it’s “terf rhetoric” to just say basic feminism 101 shit like “men have privilege over women.” Even when those posts explicitly mention trans women as included in the category of “women” (though as a trans person I def feel some kind of way about so many cis “allies” needing that kind of explicit acknowledgment in feminist posts!) I’ve seen people who are explicitly not any kind of terf or radfem and in fact regularly criticize them, harassed as “terfs” by people with axes to grind against them over unrelated issues, who take advantage of the fact that trans people are very cautious online and will often block suspected terfs without question. I’m very glad that you’ve been lucky not to see any of this but honestly you must be naive or new to Tumblr if you haven’t because it’s all over and has been happening for years. I’ve been told I’m transphobic myself (again, I’m trans) for not blocking a longtime mutual over a “terf” accusation — that was based on a “blocklist” made by an anti who is just calling all pro shippers in their fandom “terfs.” The existence of “terf” accusations alone does not prove those accusations are credible, it just proves that Tumblr hates TERFs (as they should) and has learned that calling someone one even without evidence is enough to ruin their good name (not so great). Anyway you’re not disproving anything the OP is saying as they acknowledged that TERFs are a problem with a lot of reach online, they were specifically referring to non-TERF radfems as being irrelevant compared to right wing Christianity.

Also if someone is claiming “this is just TERF rhetoric minus the transphobia” that’s a meaningless statement because transphobia is the main and only feature of what TERFs believe. Most TERFs aren’t radical or any kind of feminist anymore except to get people to sympathize with them, they believe things that contradict feminism and some (like Posie Parker) have explicitly said they’re “not feminists.” If someone is saying “this is TERF rhetoric minus the transphobia” that’s a great blinking red light that they’re full of shit, and it’s always been a feature of the people trying to claim that 101 feminist statements like “men are a privileged class in the same way white people or straight people are, yes not every man benefits from sexism or in the same way and men can support feminism, but as a class they benefit and are privileged over all women including trans women” is somehow “terf rhetoric.”

You’ve gotta use your critical thinking skills, read up on what radfems actually believe so you can learn how to spot and combat their rhetoric on your own. Tumblr won’t help you it will just confuse you.

--

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sirenium · 9 months

Text

Time to obsessively talk in depth about my Sonic head-canons, because I literally cannot stop thinking about them. This is likely to be a long post, so I'll spare you all by putting everything under the cut so you aren't forcibly subjected to the wall of text💀

Also sorry for the sudden increase in Sonic related content, it's just that my hyperfixation is slowly coming back lmao

⚠️these are mostly queer identity centered, so if you're not into queer headcanons you've been warned⚠️

Sonic: arospec, bisexual, trans man, he/him. Stealth. Is only out to Tails. Actively fights for trans rights, just doesn't feel comfortable sharing his identity with most people. Hides his negative emotions because he feels as though he has to be a source of positivity 24/7. Probably cries himself to sleep sometimes, the poor guy. In a QPR (queer platonic relationship) with Shadow.

Tails: (I don't feel comfortable labeling the sexuality of a literal ten year old lmao/lh), transmasc, he/they. Looks up to Sonic, literally aims to be exactly like him: he's the only other trans person he knows (who's out to him, at least), and he's cool asf. Admires his bravery. Tails sees Sonic as an older brother figure, and Sonic sees him as a little brother. They've got the ultimate brotherly bond, which also means they argue over the dumbest shit lol.

Knuckles: panromantic, pansexual, transfemme, he/him. Masc presenting, gives off egg vibes (not because he's masc presenting and uses he/him, but because he's hella clueless about trans people). Isn't out to ANYONE, not even himself.💀

Amy: heteroromantic, heterosexual, cisgender, she/they. MASSIVE ally, one of those friends who gives their gay friends rainbow pride merch(/pos).

Shadow: panromantic, asexual, non-binary, all pronouns including it/its, slight preference for he/him. Doesn't give a fuck about gender; they think it's irrelevant to who they are. Though he has pronoun preferences, if someone referred to it using pronouns other than he/him, he would literally not care.

Rouge: greyromantic biromantic, lesbian, cisgender, she/her. Secret mom friend vibes. Has the scariest 'you fucked up' glare known to man(/hj). Takes no shit.

Omega: bro is unlabeled, literally just vibing. Pronouns? Nah bruh (use he/him). A GOD at baking, doesn't brag about it. Can't cook for shit otherwise, literally almost blew up the kitchen somehow (how he knows how to operate an oven but not any other cooking device is beyond me, he just gives off those vibes lmao).

Less detailed HCs:

[plaintext: less detailed HCs end pt]

Espio: biromantic, acespec bisexual, cis, he/they.

Vector: aroacespec, cis, he/him.

Charmy: transmasc, he/him

Silver: panromantic, gay, cis, he/they

Blaze: lesbian, asexual, cis, she/her

Big The Cat: aroacespec, gay otherwise, cis, he/him

Time for the villains I've thought about:

[plain text: time for the villains I've thought about end pt]

⚠️trigger warning for Infinite, mentions of death and other potentially triggering themes (they're kind of heavy but nothing too serious)⚠️

Eggman: aromantic, gay, cis, he/him. Surprisingly supportive of trans people... as in he just doesn't care enough to not be.

Infinite: biromantic, bisexual, cis, he/him. Bro's in denial: he thinks all 'straight' guys have the occasional crush on other guys. Doesn't even know about the label 'bi' so he just thinks someone can either be straight or gay, and since he DOES like women he's convinced his attraction to men is either not real or unimportant. Definitely cries himself to sleep, and has nightmares about the death of his squad. Secretly blames himself for everything, has extreme self esteem issues but hides them by inflating his self worth. His life SUCKS; he's lost everyone who was important to him, just when he thought he couldn't lose anyone/anything else. He's also very prideful despite having low self esteem, and those two things mixed together give him an extremely fragile ego that's easily shattered. He genuinely hates his face, because as far as he's concerned that is the face of someone who's failed everybody, including himself. A 'pathetic' face. Would literally start having a panic attack if his mask were to come off for whatever reason. (Jesus this one got depressing, but I just put a lot of thought into his character because I feel like he has a lot of potential as a character that wasn't explored. Literally just 'lol he had a temper tantrum because he got beaten up and called weak' and that's all the backstory he gets? Nahh💀. I could make a whole post going into the backstory I made for him lmao)

Uh so yeah those are my headcanons–

I know I missed characters but these are the ones I've really thought about/remembered. If someone reblogs this, it'd be cool to see their own headcanons (you can also just comment them or like, message me or whatever/lh /nf)

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rollercoasterwords · 4 months

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hie rae! i have query/a dichotomy about gender and shit that i would love you to share your thoughts on (if you feel like it, no pressure!). i remember someone once called you something like the "resident tumblr smart person" and you also seem knowledgable about gender (do you do gender studies?) but first i just wanted to say how much i love your fanfics! they're some of my favs ever honestly and thank you so much for writing them!

i remember someone once called you something like the "resident tumblr smart person" and you also seem knowledgable about gender

ok, so basically one of friends was staying at my flat a few days ago, i mentioned (jokingly) that i feel like a bad feminist when i shave my face but that i hate having hair on my face too much to not shave it. for reference i'm a brown cis women who has a fair amount of facial hair and i have been shaving my face since i was a teen. my friend (who's trans) pointed out that she also shaves her face regularly but that for her, its a form of gender affirming care and so would it be possible that its also that for me?. we're both really interested in gender and the elements of performance in it and so we spent ages talking about it and couldn't really come to a conclusion. the thing that i was wondering about especially is that when i do shave my face, it doesn't really feel like its affirming my gender - it feels more motivated by insecurity and the desire to conform. so do you think it would be possible that for cis women it is possible for shaving to be gender affirming or is it all a product of our socialisation/ the beauty industry?

sorry for the mess that this ask is, i hope you can understand it! thanks! 💙💙💙

hi!! ty 4 the kind words i'm glad u like my fics <3 and i do in fact study gender studies lol there are of course many people v knowledgeable abt these topics tho it's not like i'm the foremost expert etc. happy 2 be ur tumblr smart person 4 the day tho & happy 2 share my thoughts!

so in the first place i don't necessarily think a distinction between trans/cis is useful here in determining whether something can/should be considered "gender affirming," nor do i necessarily think there's a strict dichotomy between "gender affirming" beauty practices versus "it's just socialized" or whatever. every woman is going 2 have different experiences with & reasons behind shaving, and oftentimes those differences will not map neatly onto a binary of trans/cis in which one side always finds the experience affirming and the other does not. additionally, all beauty practices are socialized in the first place & will often engender a mix of feelings that don't fit neatly into "this is 100% affirming" versus "this is absolutely not affirming in any way."

i think it's easy to say "shaving is just patriarchal conditioning for women and we need to stop to be good feminists!!" but that sentiment also fails to recognize that many women derive very real economic and social benefits by conforming to beauty standards, and many women furthermore find it necessary to shave to mitigate violence they might otherwise face. it doesn't mean it's a good thing that these standards exist (beauty in and of itself is always a tool of power imo), but it also makes it, in my opinion, kind of pointless to quibble over whether it's "feminist" to shave or not; each person faces their own set of material conditions that they have to navigate. also, the things an individual person chooses to do with their body hair really don't strike me as incredibly important in like...the grand scheme of Feminist Action, y'know? the entire question seems to lie more in the realm of like...personal feeling & decision making, and in that instance i am a supporter of total bodily autonomy. everyone picks and chooses their own battles when it comes to what beauty standards to adhere to; i don't shave my body hair, for example, but i'm scheduled to undergo a cosmetic surgical procedure in a few months, and for me there isn't a clear divide between the medical/gender affirming/socialized beauty standards reasons that i've chosen to do so. physical pain is one factor, but i'd be lying to myself if i said that i haven't been socialized to think about gender & the way it relates to my own body and appearance, and that that isn't factoring in as well. even if surgery is "affirming" for me, i still don't necessarily know that i'd call it a feminist action so much as something i'm doing to make my body easier to live in.

anyway, all that is to say--no, i don't think shaving makes you "a bad feminist." and i don't doubt your friend when she says that shaving is gender affirming for her. you both have different experiences when it comes to shaving, though, and if you've reflected on this and don't feel like shaving is something you really want to do, then maybe consider seeing what it's like if you stop--not to become "a better feminist," bc again, i don't think whether you personally shave is going to make or break Feminism, but bc it might make you happier. personally, my experience when i've stopped partaking in certain beauty routines or practices is that there's a period of insecurity at first which slowly fades as i've realized that most people really don't notice all the things about my body that i do. but that's my personal experience; if you decide to stop shaving and find that there are conditions in your life that make it too difficult, it's not worth agonizing over if you decide to start again, or to shave sometimes. in general i think this sort of individualistic emphasis on whether or not every single thing a person does is "feminist" is not useful tbh, nor do i think personal feelings of empowerment or affirmation are the best yardstick 4 measuring whether a certain action is "feminist"

#ask #ranting and raving #<- putting this here since this answer is like. long. not really a rant tho #in general i am pro reflecting on and acknowledging the motivations behind why we engage in particular beauty practices etc #but like. everyone engages in some way let's be real. it's just up to each person 2 decide to what extent & by what means they engage #so while i find it grating when people uncritically claim that things like shaving can be 'feminist' if it just 'feels empowering'#i find it equally grating when people get on high horses abt not shaving or place it in this like. hierarchy of beauty practices #hopefully this all makes sense...

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doberbutts · 1 year

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Honestly it's so baffling to me when people on this website claim that Misandry isn't real or men are all privileged oppressors and etc.

Like... I've been on this website for MANY years and I see, on a daily basis:

Jokes about how all men are awful at sex, don't know where the clitoris is, don't know where women urinate from, etc.

Jokes about men having small penises, being gross smelly neckbeards, and other types of body shaming

Posts about how men are all evil, violent rapists or that they will assault or rape someone with no hesitation if given the chance

Posts about how men are pedophiles, groomers, etc. for being interested in children's media or cartoons

Posts making fun of men for having "childish" hobbies like building legos, playing video games, etc.

Posts listing off dangerous, creepy things men do and the entire list is just different symptoms/signs of mental illnesses or learning disabilities

Literal posts about how men should all be eliminated/killed

I could go on and on. I almost lost one of my male friends to suicide because he had severe depression and started hating himself because EVERYONE was constantly reblogging posts about how awful/dangerous/evil men were.

Men DO face problems due to their gender, especially POC, trans, MLM, etc. men. They have basically zero resources if they're victims of abuse/assault/rape and in some places aren't even legally recognized as rape victims, are seen as disposable and not in need of protection and forced to do dangerous jobs, not to mention police violence against male minorities.

It's just so upsetting. I just wish people would be nice to each other and I don't understand why people act this way. It's not a black-and-white issue of "This group is full of dangerous monsters who need to be eliminated, and this group is full of innocent poor abuse victims and there is no nuance at all".

I'm sorry for ranting in your inbox about this, it just upsets me so much.

And, the problem is, some of these things are well earned by men who refuse to do better.

An ex of mine admitted sometimes he had a hard time finding the clit on past encounters with others and funny enough when I was like "bro how it's RIGHT THERE" he was like "stfu yours is HUGE it's unmissable ok of course I could find yours it's the first thing I saw when you took off your clothes they're not usually that big" which is how I got the first hint that I'm intersex. And in fairness some people are just very small- a trans guy I know has occasionally struggled when in an encounter with someone pre-T or no-T and it's effectively microscopic because that's just how that person's body works.

But I've also known cis men who genuinely think girls pee out of their vaginas [again, in fairness, lack of sex ed due to conservative christian upbringing + cis men do in fact pee out of their sexual organ so it's not that big of a logical leap to make], who don't understand literally anything about menses [again, all emissions from a penis are more or less controllable + the concept of uncontrollable bleeding from a penis for a week straight would have most guys in the ER + lack of sex ed], "what size pussy you wear" type dudes [which, again, for all penis-equivilant things, knowing the size does matter]... as well as women who are unsatisfied by their partners' performances and yet refuse to tell them.

I'm not on tiktok but one crossed my dash of a black guy saying he had no idea that when girls put their hands on his abdomen while he's having sex with them, it's because he's hurting them and they're trying to push him away, because of the angle there's just no leverage to actually push. He thought it was encouragement to go harder. His current partner explained it and he immediately felt so terrible thinking back on all the times he's unknowingly hurt someone for his pleasure. Communication is a two-way street, how was this man supposed to improve if his partners are not communicating "when I do this I want you to stop because you're hurting me"?

Yes, some men are just allergic to giving their partners pleasure, and are inherently selfish in bed. But, also, I myself have hard lines I draw and I'm not willing to cross them even if my partner really wants me to. And some of these lines *are* acts that are very common to find in most bedrooms. Again, communication- is he actually allergic to eating pussy because he thinks vaginas are inherently disgusting outside of when his dick's inside one and he doesn't think girls can orgasm, or is he just incredibly turned off by that act but is more than willing to experiment in other ways to bring his partner pleasure? One of these guys is a pissbaby and the other is just a dude with a boundary.

Big sigh.

Now that I am around men, cis men, more often, I find that like in everything there's nuance and perspective.

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azvainia · 21 days

Text

He/him lesbian discourse is stupid, and here’s why; bare with me this may be a bit bumpy of a ride but I promise I have a point

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of heavy topics such as bigotry and SA. if you’re not mentally up to it, just scroll. inane discourse is not worth your mental health.

Throughout my time existing in the queer community, I’ve noticed that there is always a group that’s ostracized for being too “different” from the rest of the pack, or are hard for others not in their situation to understand.

The worst part is it doesn’t just happen in the queer community, it seems to happen everywhere, in every space that humans inhabit and form groups in. you may have noticed, for example, that queer people are an outgroup to those who are cis/straight. It’s a line of people, each more niche than the one before them, all saying “You? You can’t be with us. You’re not one of us.” until we get to the end and we’re talking about problems on the fringes of the internet, like this very post.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some people who need to be ostracized to keep the peace as well as maintain safety in a space—Including, but not limited to: Nazis/fascists, racists, homophobes, pedos/zoos, etc. specifically when they are actively causing harm to others (remember rehabilitation though, if someone has grown out of a previous pattern of behavior that aligns with something that caused harm, I don’t think they should be permanently barred from our communities). At the end of the day, there’s always going to be people like this who are hateful, and I believe it’s important to keep in mind that relationships are complicated too. Some people will tolerate certain harmful behaviors because of circumstances like jobs or familial relations, and some would immediately cut them off. I think it’s all down to your preferences. It’s your life, after all.

My issue with this Ostracization comes in when it’s done to those who are not causing harm. I’ll start big picture here. I’m thinking first and foremost of the historical rift between women and men. I’m no expert on ancient bigotries, but if I had to guess I would expect misogyny to be an older one. I can hear it now. “They’re meek and they’re biologically engineered to be weaker than us!” Are they causing any harm? Is there any real reason to treat them worse than men? Next I think of racism, which is inconceivably annoying. “Oh no, their skin is a different color! They have different customs than I do!”boo hoo.

Of course next we can look at queer history. First, straight people push out gays. Because they can’t have biological children? Because they’re threatening masculinity? Whatever. Then, in spite of black trans women like Marsha P. Johnson leading the Stonewall Riots, cis queers ostracize trans people to make themselves more palatable (despite the fact that when given the chance, bigots would be fine with all of us wiped off the face of the earth). And when trans people become a bit more widely known and accepted (relatively so)? Soon, gender-non-conforming trans ppl like non-binary, agender, and genderfluid people are the next target, forming the trans-medicalist debate while trans people in general are still struggling to fight the narrative that they would assault people in the bathrooms of their aligning gender.

So we’ve finally caught up. In many modern queer communities, gnc trans people are accepted as just another part of the alphabet mafia. But there must be another sacrifice. Neopronouns and He/him lesbians. Years of oppression, and we still can’t seem to break the cycle. To those who have issues with people who use these labels, I ask you sincerely. Why?

If you are a lesbian, no one is forcing you to date someone who identifies as a lesbian while also being “male-aligned” in some way. The same way no one is obligating cis people to date trans people just because they’re an ally or whatever. Please consider; are these people you so despise and call lesbiophobic truly doing any harm other than existing? I thought that the trans community was all about breaking gender norms and being your truest self. Is excluding lesbians who are masculine or use he/him not enforcing the whole “blue= boy” shit all over again? Yes, “he/him” is most often used for men or masculine people, but just like gender roles and gender itself, it’s just a concept we humans made up. With time, everything shifts, changes, and grows.

Let us grow together. Let us feel the magic of queer joy together. Even if you don’t entirely understand it, live and let live.

Realistically I know that gatekeeping and discourse like this will never end, but even if one more person reflects and tries to be more inclusive, more thoughtful, more empathetic, I will be happy. If you got this far ily, take care of yourself and live your best life.

#queer #queer community #he him lesbian #discourse #live and love #there’s so many problems in the world all the time #I just feel like there’s so much more pressing shit to worry about #than the way someone chooses to live their life #can’t we all just get along #anyways #love yourself

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blood-choke · 5 months

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maybe I'm really stupid and partially asleep, but even though mc is a cis woman they keep talking as if she suffered a lot because of... it? like if she suffered the same as someone trans, am I missing something? is it purely because of the way she dresses? like telling V "you know I'm not a man right" like what lol how could she not know? and H talking about her own life experiences and saying mc must know how she feels... hm idk if she does she's white. ANYWAY I LOVE IT SO MUCH MUAH :*

you're right, there's not a lot of variation between cis or trans mcs at the moment. to be honest, i don't consider the cis mc "cis" anyways, she's butch. either way, both versions of her dressed and passed as a man previously, and she still presents very masculine & may be mistaken as a man.

obviously, it's not the same as if she were a trans woman, but to the random bigot in the bathroom, it doesn't make a difference.

with mc's memory gone, she has complicated feelings about her gender; she knows that she spent a lot of time as a man working blue collar jobs, and that from what little information she's managed to pry from Valentina or piece together on her own, she knows that she seemed to have accepted it and even liked it right before her entombment. but now she doesn't have to do that anymore, and she's not sure what that means for her when a lot of her identity was wrapped up in this kind of drag king-esque performance.

this is also the same for the trans mc, though with the added anxiety of being trans. i didn't change the conversation between mcs because i honestly didn't feel it was necessary; the player knows how their character feels & can decide precisely where the mc's fear is truly coming from - if it's because she's trans & butch or if it's just because she's butch.

when she has that conversation with Valentina, it's not that she thinks Valentina is being literally transphobic or anything like that. when they look at the painting of her and Valentina, and when Valentina calls her "husband," she's afraid that because she's butch/trans, and because she used to pretend to literally be a man, then Valentina is afraid of her and potentially sees her truly as a man, and more specifically, as Standard.

there are plenty of people (including lgbt people) that treat butches like this. something i've mentioned a few times here is the term "heteropatriarchal" which is typically applied to butches and butch/femme relationships. basically people equate butches to straight men enforcing the patriarchy because they're choosing to "emulate" them. there are a lot of lesbians that hate butches & treat them like shit because they're considered the "bad" lesbians. there are a lot of people that are critical of butch/femme because they think it's "heteronormative" because, again, they think butch = man and femme = woman. and all of this is doubly so for transfem butches.

with Hana, she is trans, so after the mc gets screamed at in the bathroom, that's what she's talking about. before that, when they have the first conversation in the car, Hana should actually always tell a white mc that she can't understand. after the bathroom, Hana will only confide that she's trans with an mc that has a high enough relationship with her, and with white mcs she should say something about this being "the one curse that we do share" but otherwise she should make it explicitly clear that the mc (and Valentina for that matter) can't understand her experience.

#if u think ur conversation was inconsistent then it may be a coding error so lmk #all white mcs should 100% be told by Hana that they Cannot understand what she's talking about #and i also dont even know how many ppl Know that Hana is trans bc i havent had any asks or comments about it mdfkshfkj #ask #anonymous

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bongwateriero · 5 months

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Can I just say thanks for talking about the stuff with g**lgerard. I am honestly shocked about how that account was able to get so big and amount a cult following after the super invasive stuff that has been posted for a while. I also don't understand any one can look at the stuff being posted and how “clocking trans people” has gotten people hate crimed when some of those people are Cis. This whole “well I can tell” mind set is the same ones that the anti lgbt+ folk have and it has hurt everyone because people don't appeare is enough to them.

Gerad has also stated many times that 1) they don't like labels and 2) they use he/they pronouns. For a community of people whom a lot are queer and either trans or nonbinary themselves you should know that missgrendering people and placing your thoughts as truths about people is super damaging. I also can't get over the wild take the queer people need to be told what they are. That's how so many people stay in the closet for years since their own community can't even stop mistreating them.

I am now sorry you have to deal with the asses that follow that account coming to you just to run their mouths. But again thanks for pointing this out because that account has been posting shit like that for far too long

i hate to be like I NEVER LIKED THEM but they really rubbed me the wrong way, ever since i made this blog. i didn’t follow them and i tried to avoid their posts, so i never realized how BAD they actually were.

what i had seen was a certain pretentiousness to all of their posts. and they definitely always posted like they got mcr and gerard in a way nobody else did. and their followers fed into it and thought it was cool and coddled them.

this was such a small thing that i mentioned in the tags of a post last night. i remember after one of the secretary gerard shows, either on here or in a server, people were talking about mira needing some time to process it all because the show was so hard on them and he was really going through it after the show. that they weren’t even at. and it’s not anything that serious but i think it really shows the way that their friends and followers treated them.

so after what happened on here, and on twitter, i’m glad me and other people are seeing that it was all beyond just someone being annoying.

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