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#i hate this so much i hate that ive been abandoning my friends for him. but i love him so much i love him so fucking much
cryptidscries · 4 months
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you ever see someone you used to know and have an extremely deep relationship with and wish you could reach out to them again just to talk one time but know that you cant do that because you would wreck your life all over again for them and its better for your mental and physical wellbeing to be away from them?
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valpuduzz · 23 days
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god im supposed to be working on a project but i think this is a venty kind of night. i dont feel good at all. im sorry (anything suicidal that im mentioning isnt meant to be taken seriously btw, im just going through it)
#the meowing of a cat 🐱#vent#i dont think i want to go to DC anymore for the con. but i also dont want to go to mexico. and i rlly dont want a job#i dont want to hang out with anyone i dont want to see anyone i want to be left alone. i want to rot in my room#i just wanna shrivel up and die and i want to kill myself#i really really want to kill myself#i really really really want to kill myself#it's really hard to cry. i feel empty and on edge and like ive been put into this earth to suffer and yet i cant cry#and oh yeah here we go. crush problems once again. im sorry my dear mutuals#i love him so much i love him i love him but. i have no right to love him. i wish my feelings never latched on to him like this#i barely talk to him except when we voice call in the server im in. i dont have the right to love him like this#i kinda just wish he could straight up just tell me he hates me so i could finally have peace of mind.#i wish i knew how to talk to him. i wish i wish i wish. but i cant. because my desperation is so obvious and i'll come off as a creep#the last thing i want to do is make him uncomfortable#i think what hurts the most is that no matter how many times i tell him he's my friend and that i love him he wont know#the extent of my feelings for him. im jealous of his close friends because i know i'll never be close or special to him#because i dont know how#i already told him how i felt a while ago in march. and you cant confess to someone again#one time is okay. two times is being much too forceful and desperate#ive been trying so so so so fucking hard to get over these feelings. he's just a fucking crush ive only know for like three months#and yet it fucking hurts so fucking bad i fucking hate it i hate that my brain has put aside the friends who actually care about me#for a crush who even though is a dear friend of mine isnt as close to me as the other people in my life#genuinely think i should kill myself for this and im not lying#i hate this so much i hate that ive been abandoning my friends for him. but i love him so much i love him so fucking much#and i cant just randomly say that out of nowhere because he's gonna know im still in love with him and he'll hate me for forcing him#my biggest fear is he forces himself to like me back. i'd never forgive myself#im so sorry to my friends but this crush shit has taken over my mind and it's not good and it's toxic and i hate it#i wish i had an excuse to leave his life but that would mean he'd think he did nothing wrong when he did nothing to me#the only person to blame in this situation is me myself and i#fuck i reached tag limit OOPS
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froggibus · 1 year
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The Three Times You Share A Bed - Leon S Kennedy
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Pairing: Leon Kennedy x reader
Genre: fluff, some light angst thrown in towards the end?
Word Count: 2.7k
Summary: two times you sleep in leon's bed, and the one time he sleeps in yours
CW: roommate! Leon, kinda friends to lovers?, light angst, abandonment issues, paranoia, fear + insomnia, mentions of zombies, bedsharing, leon has intimacy issues (get therapy challenge)
OMG HAPPY RE4 RELEASE!!! I am SO excited to play once im done work this weekend! Leon looks so damn fine in the gameplay ive seen and i am going FERAL! pls no spoilers for anything new in the game! <3
RE4 remake spoiler free zone!! I have yet to play the remake so there are no spoilers in this!
————
The telltale clicking of a key in the door has you on your feet in seconds, abandoning the plush throw blanket on the couch. Before it even opens, you’re standing on the doormat. You feel a little silly, like a golden retriever waiting for its owner, but the shame is washed away when Leon steps through the door.
It’s been three weeks since you’ve last seen your roommate and best friend, and just as long since you last had company. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of you standing in front of him, the dark circles under his eyes becoming more prominent. 
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” He sighs and drops his backpack on the floor, locking the door behind him.
“How was it?”
You fight the urge to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and inhale his scent, knowing that’s not what friends do. Still, the feeling is there and if he went in for it, you’d reciprocate in a heartbeat.
He opens the fridge and beams at the fully stocked drinks and snacks. He cracks open a can of cider and leans against the counter. “Long,” he admits, “way too long. And my nose is still burning from the smell of rotten flesh.” You crinkle your nose at the thought. Leon’s never been much of a talker and most of his work being classified didn’t help. Whenever something wasn’t top secret, though, you were sure to sit there and listen no matter how horrific the details were.
You settle in on the couch next to the agent, listening to him drone on about a zombie-like creature that had peeling flesh and fifty eyes. You could vividly picture it from his words alone, and the image of the creature sent a shiver up your spine.
Leon talks for hours, spilling every miniscule detail of every horror he encounters. You stay the whole time, nodding along. Leon laughs at the way you scrunch your face in disgust or close your eyes in fear. He hates how cute you are, but he can’t seem to stop telling you stories. After many hours and a few drinks between the two of you, he’s almost run out of stories to tell.
Leon pats your shoulder gently, collecting his cans from where he’d set them on the coffee table. “I need a shower,” he states. “I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.”
“Go shower. You stink,” you joke and punch him in the ribs.
He feigns injury at your blow, pretending to suck in a breath like you’d really hurt him. He keeps up the facade the whole way to his bedroom, only leaving character when he shuts the door behind him.
It’s only when he’s disappeared that you realize how late it's gotten—and how dark. Even though your shared apartment is on the 19th floor, you can’t help but worry something is going to crawl through your window. You shake the thoughts away and get ready for bed, but every gust of wind and rustling of leaves makes you flinch.
You close your eyes and tug your comforter over your head, hoping that if there is something out there, it won’t know you’re there. You toss and turn for a while longer, staying dead quiet and pushing your fears away.
Finally, you can’t take it anymore. You take a deep breath, throw your comforter off of your shoulders, and sprint to Leon’s room. It’s like your brain is on autopilot—it knows exactly where to go to be safe.
You don’t knock on the door, instead quietly twisting the knob and slipping in through a crack in the door. Leon sits up as soon as your feet touch the wooden floor, eyes snapping towards your silhouette. He’s been a light sleeper ever since Racoon City, waking at the slightest of sounds.
He relaxes at the sight of you but only for a second. He glances at his digital clock, eyes widening at the time. “Y/n? What are you still doing up?”
“I-I couldn’t sleep…I feel like a flesh eating zombie is going to climb through my window and eat me.”
He chuckles. “That would be my fault.” He shuffles over in bed and pulls back the comforter. “You’re more than welcome to stay here for the night.”
You crawl into bed next to him, keeping as much distance between the two of you as possible. You can feel his body heat radiating through the blankets and smell his body wash on his skin. The feeling is new, yet so familiar it eases you instantly.
“Leon?”
He hums in response.
“Is it safer to sleep next to the window or the door? From like, a secret agent standpoint.”
“We’re on the 19th floor so window, but unless it's a hotel room, the door. You would more than likely hear it if they broke down the front door so you’d have more time to get out.”
You think for a second. “Can we switch places?”
“Honestly, y/n,” he laughs dryly, “the safest place to sleep right now is next to me.”
Your face warms at that and you nod, relaxing into his pillows. While you drift off to sleep, Leon watches over you. He knows nothing is going to come for you here, but he did promise to keep you safe, and he’ll keep that promise no matter what.
When you get home, you’re in a foul mood. You practically throw the groceries onto the counter before walking to your room and throwing yourself onto your bed. It’s been a long day. All of the stores were so busy you could hardly get through the aisles, and all of the people you encountered were rude.
Leon comes out of his room a few minutes later. Seeing the groceries abandoned on the counter, his first thought is to check on you. He doesn’t check on you, though. Not yet, anyway. He knows you’ll just be more upset if the frozen items melt and the milk sits out all night, so he sets out on putting them away.
After almost an hour of laying in your bed trying to recuperate after the day you’ve had, you’re snapped out of it by a text.
Leon: Come here, I have a surprise for you
You don’t feel like leaving your bed, but you force yourself out of it anyway. It’s not Leon you’re mad at. Leon is probably the only person in the world you don’t hate right now. You knock on his door softly, holding your arms behind your back.
“Come in!” He shouts.
You open the door, shuffling into his room and closing it behind you. Your jaw drops when you see a tray in the middle of his bed piled high with your favorite snacks, drinks and two wine glasses. Leon pats the spot next to him and you’re happy to oblige, relaxing onto the mattress.
“You didn’t have to do this, you know.”
He shrugs, pouring you a glass of wine. “It already seems like you had a bad day, I just wanted to do something to make it a little better for you.”
“Thank you.” He nods in acknowledgement, turning on his tv and handing you the remote. “You can choose the first movie. Just—maybe no zombies?”
You snort at that. Classic Leon, using his corny jokes to make light of even the worst of situations. You settle on an old favorite movie you love, handing the remote back to the blond and switching it for a wine glass.
Between your favorite movie, the delicious wine and your favorite snacks, your spirits are lifted in no time. One movie turns into two, and two turns into three. Soon enough, you’re dozing off in Leon’s bed.
He moves the tray of snacks and the glasses off of the bed to give you more room to sprawl out. Laying down next to you, he watches you sleep. A part of him wishes he could see this every night—the same sight he fantasizes about on even the hardest of missions.
He flicks off the lamp on his side table and settles in. “Good night, cutie,” he mumbles, knowing you’re far too deep in sleep to hear him.
You wake up in the middle of the night, moonlight streaming through the window and illuminating Leon’s bedroom. You’re still numb from sleep, your senses dulled just enough that it takes you a minute to realize that something is grabbing you. No, not grabbing—holding. 
You blink a few times. Leon is laying next to you, his chest pressed to your back, his arms around your waist. You can feel the slow beating of his heart and the heat coming off of his skin. He’s so close it overwhelms you, yet it’s all you’ve ever wanted.
You think about slipping away but you know what a light sleeper he is, and you don’t think you could handle it if he woke up and saw how close you were. You close your eyes and try to calm the beating in your heart so you can fall back asleep.
When you wake up again, Leon is gone. Your body feels cold where his once was. You sit up—is he showering? He can’t be, the bathroom door is open. You sit up, letting the blankets fall off of you. You swing your legs over the side of his bed, walking out to the kitchen, but he’s not there either.
Did he leave to go get something? 
You check your phone, expecting to see a text saying he ran out to go get more milk or something, but there’s nothing. You sigh, typing up a message and sending it to him.
Y/N: where’d you go?
You practically jump when your phone lets out a noise, but your heart sinks when you see what it is.
Message Not Delivered. Try Again?
You sigh. That can only mean one thing: he’s on another mission. Typical Leon, disappearing in the middle of the night to go god knows where for god knows how long. The frustration bubbles up in your chest and you feel like hitting something, but you don’t. It’s not worth it.
You try to keep your mind off of his sudden disappearance by throwing yourself into chores. You wash his bedding and make his bed, then wash your own. You sweep and mop the floors and vacuum the carpets. You dust the blinds.
It doesn’t help.
Your mind keeps wandering back to the fact that he left without saying goodbye. That he woke up at some ungodly hour, saw you laying in his arms, got up and left without another word. He didn’t even leave a note. He really cares that little. 
You shake your head and even though the pit in your stomach makes you feel like not eating, you make yourself a sandwich regardless. Seeing the untouched groceries in the fridge just adds to the feeling.
Even though you know he’s not going to get it, you pull out your phone and start typing.
Y/N: do you at least know when you’ll be back?
Message Not Delivered. Try Again?
The message makes you roll your eyes. Leon fucking Kennedy.
A week goes by, and then two, and you still hear nothing from your roommate. You send texts here and there, hoping for an answer, but none of them go through. Eventually, you start venting to him through there, too. Expressing how frustrated you are that he didn’t say goodbye, how annoying your feelings are, how sometimes you wish you didn’t know him so you didn’t have to go through this.
It’s a random Sunday night when you’re sitting on the couch, watching trash reality tv and eating snacks. It’s cold in the apartment, but you can’t be bothered to turn on the heat. Only when your arms puff up with goosebumps do you scour the room for a sweater, settling on a random one hanging on the back of a chair.
It’s Leon’s, an old one from the Police Academy. His smell floods your nose when you pull it over your head, and it's so bittersweet you don’t know if you should laugh or cry. You settle back on the couch, but a rustling at the window makes you freeze in your tracks.
It stops for a moment, and you can almost convince yourself you’ve imagined it or it’s a part of the show—until it happens again. You scramble for the remote, pausing it so you can hear better. The noise starts again, and you waste no time in hightailing it to your bedroom and slamming the door behind you.
You flop onto your bed, trying (and failing) to remind yourself that it’s just the wind. That you’re safe here. But it’s hard when it’s late and you’re tired and you’re alone and the only person you feel safe with just abandoned you.
You curl up into a ball, pulling Leon’s sweater over your mouth and inhaling the familiar scent. It’s enough to calm you down, if only for a few moments. If you close your eyes, you can almost trick yourself into thinking he’s there, and for now, that’s good enough.
Leon knows he fucked up when he gets back to the country and turns on his phone. Almost fifty messages from you, each one more sad than the last. He wants to slap himself—why couldn’t he just grow a pair and say goodbye? Why did he have to be so noncommittal?
He reads every message on the cab ride back to the apartment, and his heart breaks for you. He didn’t think about how you would drive yourself crazy over him or how worried you must have been. All he thought about was getting the call for the mission in the middle of the night and not wanting to wake you up.
But he didn’t abandon you. He thought about you every day and god—he wishes he could have talked to you. Hearing your voice and seeing your face was enough to make everything better. With the horrors he’s seen lately, all he wants is to be back in that bed with you for one more night.
He’s quiet coming into the apartment, hoping he doesn’t wake you up or scare you. And even though he knows you’re sleeping, he’s still disappointed you’re not waiting at the door for him.
He tosses his backpack into his room and strips off all of his holsters and velcro.  He’s quiet walking down the hallway to your room and even quieter opening the door. He relaxes at the sight of you curled up in a ball. 
You look so cute and so peaceful and—is that his sweater? The sight brings a smile to his face. He closes the door behind him with a soft click, climbing into the bed next to you.
You wake up when the bed dips down and arms wrap around you. You’re so tired you don’t even care who or what it is.
“If you’re gonna kill me, can you at least let me sleep first?” You mumble.
You fully awake as soon as you hear Leon’s laugh.
“You’re back?” You say, and you hate the way your voice cracks. 
You turn around to face him, tired ocean eyes meeting yours. He nods sleepily, “‘m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. It was stupid of me.”
“It’s okay,” and it really is okay. All the resentment you felt melted away at the sight of him. 
“C’mere,” he mumbles. 
You lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around him. You can hear his heart rate slow down at the contact. 
“I just—I just need you tonight.” Those are big words coming from the agent, and they leave you completely stunned. He must have seen or done something horrible while he was away for him to be this vulnerable, even with you.
“You can have me tonight.” You try to keep your voice even, “you can have me whenever you need me,”
He kisses the top of your head. “But I always need you.”
“Then I’m always yours.”
Neither of you speak after that, Leon falling into a light sleep. You stay up a while longer, watching the blond boy rest beneath you. He looks so fragile like this, you can’t imagine him fighting off monsters and handling weapons. You kiss his collarbone through his shirt and let yourself fall asleep with him. 
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redstarwriting · 1 year
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the clash | iv. london calling
hobie brown x goth!reader
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word count: 2.8k
genre: enemies to lovers
warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, smoking weed, alcohol, mentions of a gwen canon event, mentions of death, lil angst
a/n: nother long one! i can’t wait to make it crazy angsty bc when i tell u i have THOUGHTS 👀 thank you to everyone who’s reading, i’m trying to update it every day, so hopefully i can stick with that schedule! enjoy this chapter, friends :)
now reading: iv. london calling
previous chapter: iii. black planet
next chapter: v. ever fallen in love
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He fixes his watch to open a portal to his world. Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr basically run to get to it. He motions for you to go ahead, and you walk through. Immediately when you step into his room, you’re hit with the smell of weed and incense. You’d be lying if you said you hated it. You glance around. You see drums, another electric and acoustic guitar, empty spray paint cans, spray paint on the walls, stacks of newspapers (all defaced in some way)… it feels very Hobie to say the least. “Now this. This is a livin’ area,” he says, appearing behind you. You shake your head. “So loud, both figuratively and literally. How do you ever get anything done?”
“By being louder than everyone else, obviously,” he responds, and you roll your eyes. “What a way to live,” you remark. “Better than that quiet, dark, and gloomy, way,” he retorts, and you shrug. “If you say so.”
“Hey, Hobie, do you still have the roof all decorated?” Gwen asks and he nods. “Course I do. I own the place, head on up,” he jerks his head upwards, and Gwen turns to Miles and Pavitr with a smirk. “Race ya!”
“Hey no fair! You have been here so many times!” Pavitr yells as Gwen takes off. “Come on, Miles!” you hear her yell. Miles smiles gently and shakes his head before going after the two of them. “He’s so obsessed with her it’s making me sick,” you mumble, and Hobie snorts. “What? Miles and Gwen’s relationship too much for you? You hate love?”
“Love has never done anything but cause me pain. And not the good kind,” you glance at him with a frown, and he raises his eyebrow. Suddenly his eyes get wide. “Oh shit… you had a Gwen canon event.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you respond, and he frowns. “You know, actually talkin’ about that kinda shit is a good way to not sit on it and let it build. You could face some serious problems if you keep doin’ that.”
“Who said I gave a fuck what you think? I didn’t ask for the unneeded advice, alright?” you say, and he narrows his eyes at you. “Oh, right. Forgot I was dealing with a bloody doughnut,” he mumbles and point to the window. “Care to go to the roof and get out of my sight?”
“Sound like the best thing you’ve said since I got here,” you say, leaping out of his window and climbing up the side of the building. While clinging to the wall, you glance out at Hobie’s world. His city looks almost exactly like Night of Yore City, except for the fact that there are a shit ton of fires burning, over half of the buildings look abandoned, the sky is a reddish-orangish hue, and it is so much louder. The name is also vastly different, as his version of NYC is New London. Universal differences get weird and confusing. Nonetheless, you’re intrigued, you turn around, putting your back against the wall and supporting yourself with your hands and feet. The graffitied buildings are a nice touch, you must admit. You snort to yourself when you see a mural of Hobie. If only they knew the asshole behind the mask.
“Now why the hell aren’t you up there with everyone else?” you hear his voice pull you out of your thoughts as he crawls up next to you. You shrug. “I’m a sucker for views, I guess.”
“Well, believe it or not, view is a lot better from the top of the buildin’,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “Can I please just be secluded and observe in peace?”
“Absolutely fuckin’ not. Come on,” he says, starting to walk up the wall. You sigh and lazily roll backwards and up the wall to come to standing and follow him up. When you get to the top of the roof, you see a boombox (blaring punk music, of course) and blankets surrounding a barrel with a fire going in it. Multiple coolers decorate the roof which all look stockpiled full of different beers. “Hey, Hobie, you know that they’re all kids, right?”
“New universe, new rules, love. Drinking age is 16 and up ‘round here, not that I’d give a fuck if it wasn’t anyway. So, sit down, shut up, and drink a damn beer. Maybe you’ll loosen up,” he says, tossing you a random bottle. You roll your eyes and sit down but put the beer to the side.
“Hey, Hobie, do you have any of that–” Miles gets cut off by Hobie tossing him another bottle. “Nice. Thanks, dude,” he says excitedly, cracking the top and taking a drink. Gwen gets her beer of choice, and Pavitr does the same. Hobie, you notice, doesn’t drink anything. “So, what were you guys talking about?” Gwen asks, pointing between the two of you with her bottle. “What?” you ask, and she shrugs. “You guys were alone in Hobie’s for a while and no one died, soooo did you guys finally talk about something you could agree on?”
“We can’t agree on nothin’, Gwen. They were just bein’ their usual self and annoyin’ the shit out of me at any chance they could get,” Hobie says, and you shake your head. “Good to know it worked, mate”
“Stop imitatin’ me, poser.”
“No, I don’t think I will.”
“I’ll make you.”
“Try me, Hobart.”
“Alright, that’s enough of that. What were you guys talking about?” Miles asks, and you and Hobie look at each other. “Just asked where the bathroom was,” you say, and he nods. “Yeah. That’s it.”
You weren’t necessarily ready to reveal you faced the Gwen canon event. Especially not to another Gwen. At least Hobie isn’t enough of a dick to bring it up in front of them. “Oh, yeah, you did change into your everyday clothes. Don’t know how I didn’t notice that,” Gwen states, taking another swig of her beer. You had changed in your apartment after cleaning your wound, but you don’t say anything. Hobie nods at you, and you nod back.
“Why aren’t you drinking anything (Y/n)? Here, try this it’s so good,” Pavitr pushes his bottle toward you, and you shake your head. “I don’t want to drink, but thanks Pavitr,” you say, and he frowns. “Awww.” You smile slightly at how disappointed he sounds. “Well, I want to remember everything you all tell me without it being fuzzy because I was hoping you could let me know a little bit more about all the spider people in Spider Society. I’m still new, you four, Peter B. Parker, and Miguel are the only ones I’ve really met.”
With that, Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr start telling you everything they know. You learn about Jessica Drew, Spider-Man Noir, Peni Parker, and so many more. Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr talk for hours, and since they’re kids, they do not know when to stop drinking. Eventually, the three of them are passed out. Miles is cradling Gwen’s side with his head on her chest as she wraps one of her arms around him, and Pavitr is laying straight on his back, lightly snoring. You giggle softly at the sight. Suddenly the punk music you’ve been listening to for the past however many hours gets softer. You glance over to where it is and see Hobie bent over and turning it down. “Don’t wanna wake ‘em,” he mumbles, walking over to you. The volume of the city has decreased quite a bit, and with the low hum of music coming from the boombox now, his world is actually kind of enjoyable. Though you’d never tell him that. He motions to the skyline, and you turn and look. He was right, as much as you hate to admit it. The view is a lot better from up here.
“Why didn’t you drink anythin’?” he asks, and you shrug. “Didn’t feel like it. Why didn’t you drink anything?” He shrugs and pulls out a rolled cigarette from his vest pocket. “Got somethin’ better.”
“And you didn’t offer any to them?”
“Hey, they can drink here, they don’t need to mess with this shit. ‘Sides I knew they’d be pissed. Gonna have a god-awful hangover tomorrow,” he says, pulling out a lighter. You shake your head. “They can’t mess with your shit, but I can?”
“The two of us are the same age. We’re ‘adults’ or whatever the fuck that means. Are you too stuck up to be ‘round some grass or somethin’?”
“No, Hobie, I don’t give a fuck if you smoke weed. Building manager might, though.”
“Love, I am the building manager. This place is abandoned, so it belongs to me. And you’re not tellin’ me I’m supposed to smoke this myself?” he asks with a sly smirk on his face. You raise your eyebrow at him. “Actually I am.” He groans, putting the joint to his lips and lighting the end of it.
“Do you know how to have any fun?”
“Do you know how to have any–” Before you can finish, he puts his finger over your mouth, and raises the joint to his lips again. He takes a deep breath in, blowing out the excess smoke and glancing at you. “No.”
“You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”
“Don’t care. The answer is no.”
“Have you ever actually tried listening to anything anyone says?” “Nah. I don’t listen to no one. I’m me, and if people don’t like that, good,” he says, taking another drag. He glances over at you and holds the joint out. “Y’sure you don’t want some?”
“You actually want to share with me?”
“I want you to not be as much as a ragin’ fuckwit, so yes,” he blows smoke in your face, and you glare at him. “If I take one hit, will you shut the fuck up about it?”
“Probably not, but it would sure make me happier.” You roll your eyes, and take the joint from him, taking a drag. He watches you. He’d never admit it, but he wishes you weren’t such an asshole. The way you look doing that in the moonlight? Stunning. You pass the joint back to him, some of the smoke coming out of your nose. “Stop staring at me.”
“Just makin’ sure you did it right and didn’t waste my shit,” he says, taking another drag. “I know how to hit a joint, Hobie.”
“Really? Never would have guessed you’d do anything remotely excitin’.”
“Oh, please. You barely know me,” you say, angrier than you probably should be. “Then tell me about yourself, love.”
“Hard pass,” you say, and he groans. “I get the desire to stay anonymous and mysterious, obviously, but come on. Chances are we’re gonna be seein’ each other more than either of us wants to, so just open up a bit,” he says, and you frown. “There’s nothing you need to know.”
“Bullshit.”
“Oh yeah? Then tell me something about you.”
“I killed Norman Osborn with my guitar after defeatin’ him and all of his V.E.N.O.M. forces and successfully led a rebellion against fascism,” he says smugly, “Until those other fuckin’ Nazis showed up, but one day I promise you this world? Will be capitalist and fascist free.”
“No, it won’t. Am I supposed to be impressed?” you ask with a deadpan face. He scoffs. “Damn, you’re a wanker. I’d like to see you try and defeat the V.E.N.O.M. forces. From what I seen your world’s villains are rubbish,” he says and to his surprise, and yours, you laugh. A hint of a smile plays on his features, but you shake your head. “Green Goblin is, you’re right, but... there are others who are much worse. And what the fuck is a venom force? You’re saying that like I should just know what it is.”
“It was a symbiote that– wait, you sayin’ you don’t know what venom is? That’s something every spider-person deals with at some point,” he says, and you shrug. “Guess I haven’t dealt with it yet.”
“Yeah, well, when you do, call me cause you’ll need my help,” he says and you roll your eyes. “I’d rather die than get help from you.”
“I helped you today, love.”
“I could have done that myself,” you retort, and he shakes his head, taking another drag. “I guess I should thank you though.”
“Hmm?”
“For not telling them what we were really talking about,” you say, and he hums. “What they won’t know won’t kill ‘em. But just so you know I was being so serious. Not talkin’ about that shit is more harmful than good,” he says, and you frown. “I’m not much of a talker.”
“Coulda fooled me.”
���Do you ever shut the fuck up,” you groan, and he laughs. He loves pissing you off, might be his favorite thing to do now. But the conversation might actually need to get serious. He may hate you, but he’s Spider-Punk for the people, and you’re apart of that people. He’s there to help, so he may as well try with you.
“Why not?”
“What?”
“Why not? Why won’t you talk about it?” he asks, and you huff. “Because it was my fault, and I don’t want to think about it.”
“Nah, I bet it wasn’t your fault,” he mumbles, taking another drag. You glare at him. “Oh, right, I forgot you were there when their neck snapped after I tried to save them,” you spit, and he glances at you. You can feel that hit starting to affect you, that’s the only reason you said anything about… the incident. Of course, Hobie has good shit, why wouldn’t he. “What were you trying to save them from?” he asks, his voice oddly calm. “The Prowler,” you reply, “He’s the worst of the worst in my universe.” He hums and nods. “Well then, reckon it’s the Prowler’s fault then, innit?”
“What? But I’m the one who couldn’t get to them in time after he–”
“He did it, (Y/n). You did your best, but it ain’t your fault what happened there. That’s what they want you to think. Try and get that through your thick skull, would you?” he says, and you scoff, “They?”
He nods, and you go quiet. He glances over at you as you just sit and stare out at the city. “Stop doin’ ‘at.”
“Doing what?”
“Blamin’ yourself,” he says, taking another long drag. You sigh. “I can’t help it,” you mumble, and he shakes his head. “You can. Just takes time,” he responds. You scoff, “You’d think three years would be enough time.” You look out at his city. It’s so different from yours, but you can still see the beauty in it. And you can see the stars. None of the constellations of your world are here, but the sky is still beautiful. “If you need a place to crash, my couch is very comfortable and has your name written all over it,” Hobie says, and you shake your head. “I should probably just go back to my universe–”
“No way. No dimension hopping under the influence,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “I had one hit,” you say, and he shrugs. “And one hit is enough for you to think you’re goin’ home only to end up in Peter Porker’s shower. You’re stayin’ here tonight.” You roll your eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
“I’m insufferable for watchin’ out for your well-bein’? Okay, sure.”
“I don’t need you to watch out for me. I don’t need anyone,” you hiss, and he scoffs. “Of course you don’t. Too good for everyone else.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“It was implied.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“Like you wouldn’t say the same thing,” you say, and he shrugs. “You’re right. I would say I don’t need anyone, because I don’t. Especially not a miserable thing like you,” he says, and you frown. “Good.”
“Great.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you.”
The two of you just glare at each other for a bit before he flicks the butt of his joint off the building. “Goin’ to bed. See you tomorrow.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Shut up and follow me back to my place,” he says, getting up and walking down the building. You follow, yawning as you realize just how tired you are. When you get back inside Hobie’s place, he points at the couch. “Lay there, and don’t move until mornin’, got it?”
“I’ll do what I want.”
“Amazin’. Just don’t wake me up, and I won’t give a fuck,” he says, walking into his bedroom and kicking his door shut. You roll your eyes and lay down on his couch. It’s actually surprisingly comfortable, and you find yourself actually dozing off faster than you anticipated. Hobie walks out of his room to get a drink of water and ready to fight you verbally again, only to see you passed out on his couch with literally no blanket or pillow.
He sighs, grabbing a throw blanket off his bed and gently placing it on top of you. In the morning, you wake up before everyone else. You notice the blanket, and know only one person could have done that, but you don’t feel like sticking around to say anything. You just go home. But before you do, you leave a little note saying, ‘didn’t need your sympathy, thanks but no thanks,’ and draw a little middle finger.
He’ll get the hint you appreciated it.
───────────────────────────────
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Salutations! Might be a… oddly specific request? So feel free to throw it out if you don't like it! I've just had this idea floating in my brain for awhile and I think its cute.
So basically Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) makes friends with someone who is also really grief stricken over their last relationship. (I was thinking that they would be a widow/widower but you can go whatever route you want) They both find solace in one another and feel like they understand eachothers pain. They both get really close and before he can realize whats happening, Lucifer is head over heels and it hits him like a freight train when he realizes it. He wants so desperately to hold this person to his chest, protect them, and build a future together that neither of them had thought possible before; but he is also terrified of scaring them off if he does anything. Both of them are wounded, and Lucifer isnt sure how deep or raw those wounds are. So Lucifer just ends up turning into a puddle of a man when they are around.
Like I said, Ive just had this rotting in my head for awhile and I am not nearly skilled enough to do anything with it, sooooo have fun with it if it peaks your interest! <3
Broken Hearts Still Beat Again
Hazbin Hotel Lucifer x Reader
"I may not be your first love, kiss, or date..... but damn baby, I want to be your last everything." -Unknown
Tw: Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Failed relationships, fear of abandonment, learning to love again, taking risks, slight spiciness at the end
~Prior to the beginnings of the Extermination~
You can't remember how long it's been since it happened. Years, months, and days are far too long, honestly. All you could remember was his face, his sad, sad, lonesome face, and the grinning menace Adam beside him. Yes, that's right, Adam, the first Winner. You, too, were a Winner till all that time ago. How long?
Your husband, best friend, and closest confidant was also a Winner. You were Winners together. You two died in your sleep peacefully due to a shared illness. It was sweet, almost too romantic like St. Peter said when you two crossed the gates. 
Then it happened; you don't know why Adam sank his teeth into you. Yes, you were an incredible fighter in the mortal world, teaching children how to fight for their safety and never to provoke. So when he came to you and invited you to the exorcist guild, well, you were happy to train young fighters to protect themselves. Your partner was even happier to watch you flourish in Heaven as much as you did in your mortal life. 
Then you overheard Lute talking to an exorcist one day. You heard about the extermination of the poor souls, the damned being killed again and again. This news broke you. Who would remotely allow this? Who would stoop so low?
You called an impromptu meeting with Sara and Adam to inform them of this horrible act Lute was performing. The tyranny she was showing against the other angels to go down to Lucifer's territory and kill again.
Only things didn't go as planned, no see you did go to the meeting; you spoke your peace, and then they just smiled at you, eery creepy smiles, sent you on your way, and told you it would be handled. It was all quite odd; there was no demand for a trial, no need for proof of your words, nothing.
When you returned to your home where your husband was, it happened all too fast. Exorcists were grabbing you; Adam was telling your husband something; his face dropped, and he looked at you with hate. You were shouting, begging, pleading for anyone to listen to you. No one would, and you were flagged as a traitor right then and there.
You were taken to a ledge, and standing there, you looked into your husband's eyes, tears staining your face, your throat raw from screaming. You could feel the saliva strands between your parted lips as you whimpered and cried. You freed your arm from one of the exorcists and reached out to your husband; it was too late as he turned from you.
He spared one last look at you, turning back with tears in his eyes. You called out his name once again, and Sara spoke her orders of your treason against the balance of good and evil. Then, you were pushed off the ledge. 
You began to fall from heaven, assuming a more permanent death would be treating you soon. You closed your eyes; you didn't want your last memories to be death or Adam or any of what just happened.
You thought of your lover when you two were young and carefree the day he told you he loved you. As you felt the rushing of wind and air surrounding you, this thought alone was your solace, and then it all went black.....
~~~~ Lucifer's Pov ~~~~
The day that Lilith left was a cold, cold day in hell. Well, not for everyone, but definitely me.
The woman I gave everything up for was gone in an instant. Without a word. Without a trace. My relationship with Charlie was far more strained and hindered now. I was nothing now. A kingdom all to my own and nothing of value now that the two women I loved the most were gone. What was I to do in this lone castle whither away? 
I turned to the picture of Lilith and Charlie, and tears formed in my eyes. It all felt too surreal to much. She was gone, my family gone, my life gone, all gone gone gone. As I sat there and cried, fists beating into the floor below, my wails echoing through the halls of my now abandoned residence, I felt so empty.
That's when an imp came in, holding a letter from the angels above. It was time to sign our agreement on the executions. Maybe that's why Lilith left; I was so willing to save our family that I gave up on our dreams for hell. 
I should have spoken to her and let her decide, but they threatened Charlie, so I had to act. I had to save my precious daughter, my pride and joy. That's also why I had to tell Charlie that her plan to 'save all sinners' needed to end. I remember it like yesterday, sitting at the table with them, breaking the news of the agreement I would sign soon. They looked so hurt, so betrayed.
I honestly was a failure. 
I stood, heading to the bathroom to clean up before my meeting. Soon after my name is signed on the soul pact, the first and only angelic building will grace hell, and the clock will start counting down. I was prepared for my subjects to hate me, but my family, it was all too much.
There was nothing to lose now, though, so hell with it. I made my way to the opening portal to heaven. It's now or never. I will sign this and keep the ones I love safe, even if they never know.
I love you, Lilith, I love you, Charlie. 
~~~~ Reader POV ~~~~
When you woke back up under a dark red sky, you figured you had to have fainted while falling to your death. Yet when you looked down at yourself, you were the same old you. The only notable difference was that your skin was no longer pure white. You had greyed out some, and your clothing was torn from your fall. Looking around, you saw a giant pentagram in the sky and a large white orb to the right. Was that heaven?
Standing on your legs again, your back was killing you. You began to walk anywhere; people here were very different from the Winners. Death, porn, canabalizim, all of it fully welcomed. This would take some getting used to. 
As you crossed the threshold of the city, now standing in the middle, you heard a horrible noise. It sounded like a bell, but it was so loud. You turned to your left, where the noise was coming from, and there was a clock and some numbers; just above the numbers, it read 'days till execution.' that's when you realized it.
A building, the only building that looked like what you are familiar with in heaven. You were shocked it wasn't Lute causing tyranny. It was all of them, every single one of them, in charge. 
You sank to your knees, realizing you would never be safe. You signed your sentence when you went to them with the information you learned. You were no longer a Winner...You were a Sinner, and your days were numbered.
You had something over everyone else; you knew how the angels fought and trained them daily. Using this knowledge to your advantage, you went through the town, trying to find anywhere you could start your new life. 
~~~ FLASH FORWARD 7 YEARS ~~~
You were lucky when you ran into Charlie. She was a godsend if god was even real. The Princess of Hell had the same morals and values as you, which you respected. Vaggie was also a pleasant surprise; you could tell a soldier you taught a mile away.
She remembered you as well. She kept to herself till you three made it to a safe place, Charleis's soon-to-be hotel. Once Charlie was out of earshot and working on getting supplies to heal everyone, she confronted you. 
Tears welled in her eyes when she asked what had happened. She was in shock when you explained how you ended up here. According to Vaggie, everyone was told that you died on a mission to hell.
The Sinners alerted Lucifer of your whereabouts, and he killed you; thus, in doing so, a protective force of angels was created. Fearmongering was the one thing Adam was damn good at. 
It was broken to you by Vaggie that your partner had moved on with another. He was in love and happy with another woman, one Adam hand-picked for him. You were devastated again; years of promises, lost nights, and romantic meetings disappeared. He gave up everything because Adam told him to.
You two agreed that your past lives in Heaven would no longer be discussed that night.
Crying your eyes out long after Vaggie returned to her shared room with Charlie, did you swear off love by taking your wedding band off and locking it in a drawer.
It was no longer a hidden fact that Lucifer had signed the deal with the Angels, and it was far less hidden knowledge that the relationship between King and Princess was strained.
The rag-tag group of residents was growing by the day. Angel Dust was fun, and you could quickly tell from how he talked and looked he wanted a way out. Soon after Charlie's broadcast, Alastor and his group, Husk and Nifty, joined the hotel's crew. Though the Radio Demon was creepy, you knew something was eating him deep inside. Nifty was a riot to get talking to and always brought you exciting things she found while cleaning. Husk was a perfect bartender, and you knew he would keep your dirty secrets for you. He was the only one you confided your past in. 
You supported Charlie wholeheartedly in her decision to overrule the exterminations. You were eager to help her prove that sinners could become winners. Look at you, for heaven's sake; if it could go one way, it had to go the other.
Sir Pentious was the last to join and was easy to talk to. He was awkward, but you loved his fabricated war stories and eggbois. Then, one day, he came along; you won't lie.
You were hesitant. I mean, he signed away Hell's right to life. You couldn't deny it, though; he was funny and ethereal. You swore off love, though, and you wouldn't let another break your heart again.
~~~~ Lucifer's POV ~~~~
When I got Charlie's call, I didn’t know what emotions to feel: sorrow, excitement, fear, jubilation. I was beyond myself, and as I finally answered the phone, all I could muster was, “Hey, Biiiiitch.”
Yeah, it was smooth of me to say that; however, it didn’t deter Charlie. She wanted me to come and visit her. I was over the moon; depression had nothing on me.
I looked at my hand as I was cleaning myself up and getting ready to go. Looking down and seeing that cursed band I once shared with the love of my life.
I found Lilith's ring left on her nightstand just days after her departure to who knows where. I couldn’t bring myself to take the ring off; it's all I had left of her; it reminds me to keep hoping she would forgive me; maybe I'll forgive myself. 
As I made my way to Charlie's hotel, thoughts pressed into my mind about how I wanted this reunion to go. It never occurred to me how much Charlie may have changed. Was she still the same woman I knew before we fought?
Sighing as I approached the door, I realized it was now or never. Let's do this, baby. What's the worst that could happen? She hates me and leaves me forever like her mother did, and now I am forever alone? Hahahahah NO!
I entered the hotel door, and jeez, what is this place?
Putting a smile on my face, I approached Charlie and hugged her, introducing myself to her girlfriend. Woah, I like girls, too. See, we can bond. As I was making my rounds with Charlie, meeting everyone, I saw her….She was….gorgeous. I could tell from her looks that she wasn’t an everyday Sinner, and something was different about her. 
After a brief and, might I say, victorious battle with this ‘Alastor’ fellow, I spent some time with my daughter, allowing her to show me around her hotel. As we stood atop the balcony, I made the first fatal error of the night. “So, CharChar, what is this all about?” 
Charlie rolled her eyes at me and excitedly smiled, “It’s a hotel to cleanse and rehabilitate Sinners! I told you this, Dad!” The excitement on her face was genuinely adorable, but she couldn’t do it. I couldn’t allow this. The elder angels would just hurt her like they did me. They already threatened my family once; I can’t let them do this again.
I knew by the look on Charlie's face that my reaction wasn’t what she was expecting. As I went to speak to her, a loud explosion was heard downstairs. 
We rushed down, and I saw an opportunity to prove to Charlie why we couldn’t follow this plan. As I ran forward to catch up with the others, I saw the mystery woman again. She was fighting alongside Alastor and his demons perfectly; she was beautiful and brilliant in battle, always expecting the next attack.
Once the sharks were dealt with and the young lady who seemed to know Alastor left, I turned back to Charlie and attempted to plead my case. “See Charlie, look, they are all the same; Sinners will never be redeemed; they will never go to heaven.” 
“You don’t know that, Dad, please.” The look on Charlie's face broke me, but this had to be done. I couldn’t let her get hurt. 
“What makes you so sure, Mr. King of Hell, that these people here can’t be redeemed?” This voice was new and soft.
I turned to the mystery girl. Her eyes were lit with a flame. I could see how much passion she had for my daughter's cause. As I went to speak back, Charlie interjected. 
“Father, I only want to do this for you, for my people. Your dreams are what gave me this goal.” I was taken aback. I was Charlie's prime motivation; my stories and goals helped her become this remarkable woman. 
“Your daughter is twice the ruler of you; she's willing to save her people; what are you willing to do?” The mystery woman had a point. I was a coward, too prideful of what I had to allow it to fall potentially. I looked at Charlie, and a moment formed between us. 
“Alright, let’s get Heaven on the line then.” I knew it was time to face my fear to help the people I pleaded for all those years ago. I may not be able to stand my ground due to the contract, but damn can my daughter and her friends do it. 
While Charlie started getting ready for her meeting, I was a nervous wreck. What if something happened to her? I knew the cruel hands that played in heaven and what could be done.
As I was pacing back and forth in the lobby, a figure stood before me, a drink in hand, and the other extended a glass to me. I looked up, and it was her; she was still just as beautiful as the first time I saw her. I gently took the glass and downed the concoction in it. “Thank you, uh, my name is Lucifer Morningstar, affamed fallen angel and father of Charlie.” 
“I know; I was here when everything went down.” She looked at me blankly. Of course, she was here. Jesus, could I be any lamer?
She snorted at my facial expression and stuck her hand out for me. “My name is Y/N; nice meeting you, Mr. King of Hell; it’s a pleasure. By the way, I only said all that because I knew it would strike a nerve in you. I learned from my past anyone prideful hates when their authority is challenged.” 
In her past, odd, there weren’t a lot of demons here who A would let someone challenge their authority and live, so she must be powerful, or B, she is speaking of her mortal life. However, something about both of those options did not seem quite right.
I nodded gently at her and sat at the bar. She soon tended to the others in the hotel, and I began to observe her. She acted like a mother, telling the others what to and not to do double-checking the other inhabitants of the hotel before they left the building.
Hell, she even talked to Alastor on some sort of equal ground. Something was different about her, so so different. I looked at my hand again while I took another swig of my refilled glass. Setting the glass down, I started to twirl the ring. Would Lilith have been this good to everyone? Would Lilith have even cared? 
I sighed; if I wanted to help Charlie, I had to let go of the past. I took the ring off, dropped it in the liquor, and went to the front door. As I reached for the handle, I was stopped by a soft hand on my wrist.
Turning, I saw Y/N, “Hey, one second, mister, you forgot this.” She placed the ring down in the palm of my hand. “I have been scorned by love too. Don’t get me wrong, I also took off my band long ago. However, I can say that though their memory is tainted now, you should enjoy the memories of good when you can. Helps keep the bad thoughts away.” She smiled up at me so brightly I couldn’t help but smile back. 
“Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate it. Do say you seem like a swell mother figure to all these people here. Why tie yourself to this place if you don’t want redemption? I remember what you said earlier, ‘All these people’, excluding yourself.” She stalled, hesitating about how she wanted to answer.
I just shook my head and smiled at her. I began to walk away back to my home. As I made my way back I heard Y/N shout, “COME BACK SOON LUCIFER!” For some reason, I really liked how my name sounded from her. 
~~~~~ Reader POV ~~~~~
You were sat at the hotel by yourself, Angel, and the others all went to a club while Charlie and Vaggie went to Heaven. You had time to think about the most recent occurrence in your life: Lucifer.
It was a whirlwind that day meeting him. So many emotions overtook you: fear, anger, an odd sense of curiosity. You couldn’t lie. He was attractive, and the way he was protective of Charlie was adorable. You never got to have children; your ex-husband never wanted them.
You don’t know what possessed you to speak to Lucifer like you did, telling him he was a lowly king. You used the excuse that you had done it to others in your past, which was valid; you and Adam argued a lot. Deep down, you knew, though, that's not why you did it. You wanted to protect Charlie and her dream. 
Sighing, you made your way around the building, ensuring the halls were clean and everything was orderly. You still weren't fond of all the allowed things here in hell, so going out with everyone was a once-in-a-blue moon.
It struck you as amusing when Lucifer commented on you being a mother figure because that is how everyone saw you. Hell, even Alastor commented one or two times that you reminded him of his angel of a mother. You just wanted the best for everyone; it wasn’t fair to die and then be killed again. 
You heard the lobby door open once you were done doing your rounds. Odd, typically, everyone stayed out way late, and the girls weren't expected back till tomorrow.
As you descended the stairs, you saw none other but the man plaguing your mind: Lucifer. Smiling softly, you met him at the base of the stairs, giving him a short wave. He smiled at you and announced that he figured everyone would be gone today and was going to help out Charlie. You snorted at him and explained how you stayed back to help but were more than pleased to allow him to keep you company. He took refuge at the bar, and you soon joined him.
You two talked for hours about so many things, from his life as an angel to your old mortal life. You guys even talked about the differences between Heaven and Hell. Hopefully, you weren't giving your old station away to him, but a part of you didn’t care.
By the time you two got to the dreaded conversation about relationships, you were inebriated. You recounted your betrayal to Lucifer, holding nothing back. From your teenage years with your ex till the day he turned from you while Adam pushed you. Lucifer looked so heartbroken for you.
He gently pushed some hair out of your face when he said, “I am so sorry that happened to you, Y/N. I knew something was different about you, so you too fell from that dreaded cliff like I.” You nodded sadly. 
Lucfier explained why he made his decisions and how Charlie's life was threatened if he didn’t end Lilith’s music and allow the Exorcist to come down. He told you something interesting about the clause of the agreement: No Hell Born Could Be Harmed In The Extermination Less The Binding Be Null And Void.
This was amusing to you; even after singing his people away for slaughter, he was still concerned the angels would trick him and harm his child. He was always thinking about those he loved. It was endearing.
How could someone leave such a handsome, kind, protective man? The thought even crossed your mind that Lucifer would have fallen with you if he had been your husband instead of letting Adam take the lead.
As these thoughts crossed your mind, you didn’t realize how close your two faces were getting. Before you knew it, your lips were touching Lucifers gently. Seconds passed, and his hands were buried in your hair, kissing you with a passion you never got from your ex. 
As you two broke apart, the doors to the hotel opened again. Angel came running over to you, noticing your state of drunkenness. He apologized to Lucifer, stating you never really drank much and took you to your room.
You smiled softly as Lucifer said a quick ‘goodbye’ and ‘good night’ to you before drifting off to sleep. Your dreams that night were full of Lucifer, his beauty, charisma, and devotion eating you alive. You may have sworn off love, but for him to love you how he once loved Lilith would be beautiful. 
~~~~~ TIME SKIP ~~~~~
Months had passed since your night with Lucifer, and a whole war between you at the hotel and the angels broke out. Everyone learned of your past in Heaven from Adam before he perished.
You felt free, no longer chained to the past that harmed you. Now you had something more to look forward to. Though you and Lucifer never spoke of that night again, you held the memory close. He loved Lilith a lot, and especially Charlie; for all you knew, when he kissed you that night, he was just imagining Lilith once more. It hurts to think that, but you must be true to yourself. 
After Adam's carnage, it was awkward for you and Lucifer. You two avoided eye contact and only spoke when you had to. However, as time passed and you both pretended the night alone never happened, things changed.
You and Lucifer did become fast friends, though. Having shared a fall from heaven, deep heart break, and even more so a hotel together it was hard not too. It was hard ever to see you two separated from one another. Laughing, joking, talking, and even debating over effective ways to pull in more Sinners.
You two became more affectionate as well, his hand on the small of your back, him guiding you by his arm, or even you adjusting his cravat and making him his favorite teas. To onlookers, it seemed like you two were married. 
It was so compelling that you two were married that even Charlie told you she would be fine if you loved her dad.
Love…That's such a strong word. Is that what you felt? You can’t lie. You fantasize about it. You were scared, though. What if he let you down like your ex did? Can you handle being a mom to Charlie, not just a figure, a real mom taking the spot Lilith left? That was a worry, too; what about Lilith if she returned? Would he go back to her?
Would you be left so suddenly again? 
While your mind raced, you mindlessly swept the corner of your room, thinking deeply about this debacle. When suddenly, your door bursts open. 
~~~~~ Lucifer’s POV ~~~~~
I was ecstatic after my night with Y/N. She was excellent, calm, cunning, and articulate. She also knew my pain of the angels turning on you. The kiss meant so much to me. I was finally feeling things I hadn’t felt before Lilith left.
Lilith….was I ready to move on? Could I move on?
When I closed my eyes that night, I saw both old memories of Lilith and the times we had, but also new visions of Y/N and all we could be. She was terrific; if only I could get to know her more and see how she felt. She also stated she swore off love, too.
Would I be included? 
When the day came for the extermination, I couldn’t bear to turn on the news; I didn’t want to see Charlie's dreams get crushed. I sat and waited, staring at the clock. As soon as the chaos broke out, I was up and pacing.
It wasn’t just Charlie; I was worried about Y/N being there too. Yes, she was a fighter and trained those Angels, but what if the worst happened? What if you died protecting Charlie?
That's one thing he loved: how motherly you were for his daughter. Not that Lilith never was, but it was clear to him that no matter how hard life got, you would stand by those you loved side.
Why couldn’t Lilith have done that for them? 
That was when I felt the tug, a complex, sudden pull. Half of the signed agreement shriveled; that only meant one thing.
I ran as fast as I could to the hotel; once I saw the carnage, I flew to protect Charlie. It was Adam, the man who turned the heavens against me, who turned heaven against you. Years of pent-up rage and a new passion for protecting Y/N overtook me as Charlie and I took down the angels.
Once the battle felt calm, everyone began looking for you and Alastor. Honestly, I could care less about the Radio Demon. He gave me bad vibes, but you were missing. You went in to save Vaggie from Lute; however, no one saw you anywhere when the building collapsed. 
Shouting, digging through rubble, I heard Charlie yell out that she had found you. Sighing now that I knew you were alive and only minorly injured, we cleaned up.
With a bit of magic and a whap bam boom, we had a new Hazbin Hotel, oh and Alastor returned. I wanted to discuss your past with you about a potential us, but I couldn’t. You looked so happy now that the chains of your past were broken. 
The next couple of months were odd, for sure. I couldn't stand to look Y/N in the eyes, and though I yearned for her, I couldn't bear the weight of rejection again.
I tried, though, to show her how much I wanted her in subtle ways. What was a once-stolen night became a close friendship. I could tell her anything and everything. She was like a breath of fresh air; she never denied any of the ideas Charlie or I had, instead helping make them better. With her and I’s past with heaven, we knew how to overcome the obstacles they would throw. 
Before I knew it, I craved her touch and comfort, and she gave it to me. Small lingering touches of hands, hugs that lasted too long, small gifts and favors never asked for. I was falling and falling hard. She was everything I could want. I loved Y/N.
Oh god, I loved Y/N. I was a wreck seeking counsel from the only other person who knew me best, Charlie. She was so happy, begging me to confess and tell Y/N how I felt. Could I, though? Would she accept me? Could she take the new title of Queen of Hell? 
As I lay in bed pondering the conversation Charlie and I had, thinking of the new memories I had made with Y/N, I was stuck. Confess and have a happy new life, or confess, and she leaves me, too. You weren't one to go, though I knew that. What if, though, you weren't ready?
I closed my eyes and let my mind wander; I saw Y/N in a beautiful dress at our wedding, Y/N giving me another child, and Y/N fighting alongside Charlie and me. That’s it; I can’t hold back any longer.
I dressed myself in my robe and marched my way to your door. I began to knock, but I heard nothing in the room. Sighing because I knew Y/N had to be in here, I busted the door open, and there you were, staring off into space so cutely.
Shit.
~~~~~ Readers POV ~~~~~
The noise startled you from your thoughts. There before you stood Lucifer in his robes. Smirking, You turned away from the man and laughed gently into your hand. “What are you doing here, goober? It's the middle of the night, and you are very underdressed.”
No questions were answered, though, as Lucifer approached you; he stood there staring you in the eyes. You didn’t know what this look meant, but it was intense. Had you offended him? 
As you went to speak again, Lucifer placed one of his hands on your cheek, cupping your face. You looked at his hand and back up at him; you were breathing too fast. As you two looked at one another, no words were uttered; slowly, Lucifer placed his other hand on your waist.
You laid claim to his chest with your hands gently splayed there. Something in his eyes begged you to be closer and not push him away. How could you? He was holding you in a way that you had only dreamed of. 
Lucfier moved closer to your face, your lips mere inches apart when he spoke, “Y/N, I love you. No, that doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings. I am fascinated, lust-filled, and desire you and you alone. I want forever to be with you, a time I only thought possible with one person who never intended to fill that role. A forever purely our own with our family. A future dedicated to following dreams and passion. Following our love. Will you stay with me, Y/N? Please stay with me.” 
You were speechless, your mouth slightly agape, and you didn’t know how to process such emotions. You were overwhelmed and so excited. You knew if you took any longer to confirm or deny him he would leave and never speak of this, just like the kiss before.
You did the only thing you thought you could at that moment. You wrapped your arms around his neck and closed the gap. Kissing Lucifer this time felt just as good, if not better, than the last. Your hands tied in his hair, holding him close. His hands are keeping you in place, his kiss fierce and dominating. Before you knew it, he had his hands just under the cusp of your ass, prompting you to jump. As you did, you never broke the kiss. 
Lucifer leads you to the nearest wall, kissing your lips and neck. This was everything you dreamed of, everything you wanted. Each kiss was a contract that you two would never hurt the other as your partners did.
You felt alive, like electricity was coursing through your veins. Every kiss made a new pattern in your heart, soon beating in time with Lucifers. The heated kisses died down and turned into soft, light ones. Placing your feet back on the ground, you hugged Lucifer close, his head buried in your neck and yours in his. 
You smiled a large smile before whispering, “I will always stay by your side, Lucifer. You and Charlie are my reason, my purpose now.” You could feel his smile next to your ear without ever having to open his mouth.
You were so happy.
You two heard a shutter sound as you pulled away, and a bright flash erupted behind Lucifer. As you turned to the door, everyone stood there: Charlie was happy and clapping, Vaggie was giving a thumbs up, Alastor was holding the camera, Nifty was making gagging sounds, and Angel was smirking. You laughed wholeheartedly; who knew a broken heart would beat again?
My good friend @willowaudreykeyes helped me with the editing a bit! I appreciate the effort and time they put into assisting me. Even though we live halfway across the world from one another, you have my back!
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gothicflowers · 2 months
Text
Alex Keller X GN!Reader
Field of Flowers
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Warnings: Fluff.
“We’ve been inseparable for almost eight years. For some reason I just assumed I’d always have you around. I don’t wanna face that reality but I have to now. Saying goodbye completely ends the story.”
“New chapters mean you get to keep on writing the story. Why would it make you scared?”
“I’m terrified honestly. I want a life outside of all this, to be able to lay in a field of flowers and rest.” Motioning to your ballistics vest and the gun on his hip. “But ive been doing this for so long it’s almost like I have to completely hit reset on my life. I can’t tell anybody about any of this. About what I’ve done, the places I’ve seen. Hell, I can’t even tell them about you. It all dies with me.”
Over all these years with Alex you never told him your feelings. Too afraid to lose the only person who’s stuck by your side. Every mission, every wound, every sunrise and sunset he was with you. Learning to live without him was going to be hard. It was going to be even harder trying to start the life you envisioned without him.
Alex leaned against the hummer next to you trying to find the words to say. He hated that you were leaving. But he couldn’t ask you to stay with him. Not when he just abandoned the CIA for farahs army. But he loves you too much to tell you his feelings. He wants you to be happy, not to go to bed wondering if he’s ok or when he’ll return to you.
“I hope you find peace and get everything you want out of this lifetime. You deserve it.” His words felt heavy leaving his chest. “How about instead of goodbye, I’ll see you around.”
Tears welled up in your eyes. Biting your lip to try and stop a choked sob from leaving your lips. Nodding and looking at the sunset. “I’ll see you around Alex.” You look up at him, just as pretty as the day you first met. Only couple more scars and some lines around his eyes changed him. His eyes still sparkled when they looked into yours. A single tear falls down from your eyes taking in the sight of the man you’ll never see again.
His hand comes to rest on the nape of your neck as the other wipes away the single tear. Pressing a kiss to your forehead he takes in this final moment. His forehead rests against yours knowing he has to let go now or he won’t let you go. “I’ll see you around.”
And he’s gone. Gone from your life. You’re left watching the sun disappear over the mountains wondering why it is to be like this.
It’s been a little over three years since that day. You opened up that company you always told Alex about. Got a car and even purchased a home. Everything on paper looked like you had become quite successful. Your family was excited to have you home. But with all good things considered it didn’t feel how you thought it would.
The house was quiet. Making friends in your late twenties proved to be difficult. And every date you went on couldn’t compare to the man you left in a war zone. You thought about him often. Was he doing well? Was he making sure to eat enough? Was there someone that could cut his hair as well as you could? And the scariest thought, was he still alive?
Your dreams were fleeting with memories of your time together and the battles fought. Often times waking you in the night too scared to fall back asleep. Even though you were happy to be away from it all you still thought about it, if you hadn’t left. Stayed and told him that you loved him. Or should you have just told him before you left. At least then you’d have had an answer of some sort. Never to be left wondering like you still do. The waves of regret consumed you from time to time.
Today was a slow day, as most Mondays are for your company so it was just you today. You sat behind your computer finishing up this months paperwork. The front door bell chimed upon someone entering. Since it was just you, you headed to the front to greet the customer.
“Hello, how can I-“ you stopped dead in your tracks in disbelief when your eyes noticed the man standing there. Soft eyes, strong arms, and a smile like no other.
“Hi” he could barely make out that single word. Just seeing you took the breath out of his lungs. “I said I’ll see you later, not goodbye.” His mustache covered lips turned up into a smirk.
You run up to him wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. His warm embrace welcoming you into his arms. His arms wrapped around you felt more like home than anything has the past three years.
“I can’t believe you’re here” your hands cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks “What are you doing here?”
“Laswell got my name cleared, thought about lying in a field of flowers like you said.” His arms still wrapped around you not wanting to let go. “And there was something I didn’t tell you before you left, I’m hoping I’m not too late.”
“What didn’t you tell me.” Your arms unraveled and your hands rest on his strong chest. You could feel his heart beating fast.
Taking a deep breath he looks deep into you. “That I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.”
Your voice weakened with the joy of hearing his confession. “I wanted to tell you I loved you before I left but I was scared you didn’t love me back.”
Alex looked down at you with a look you had seen glimpses of but never fully. It was love, joy, excitement and more passion than anyone had ever looked at you with in your lifetime.
Without words you both embraced in a passionate kiss making up for all the lost years. His hands pulling your hips into him closer desperately wanting to keep you close. Your hands traveling from his chest to his neck. Clinging to each other fearing separation. After what felt like eternity your lips departed one another.
“So since the moment you met me?” How could you have not seen? Was that truly what all those intense moments of eye contact meant? The fighting over each other going into something far too dangerous. Love?
His bright goofy smile was uncontrollable “Yeah”
You couldn’t help but laugh recalling that exact moment in time. “Alex I had a gun to your head because Laswell didn’t tell me I was gonna have a partner that mission. I was seconds away from killing you”
“Can’t lie it was definitely intimidating, but oddly attractive.” He smirked knowing it was the honest truth.
You give his chest a light hit at his comment “Shut up and kiss me again.”
“Yes ma’am.”
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knowyourplace-fool · 1 year
Text
mind games until you lose control
Attack on Titan
Pairing: Yandere!bully!Eren x Shy!female!reader
Genre: Smut & Angst
Synopsis: Eren claims to hate you, and often torments you for simply existing, yet he can’t keep his hands off of you.
Word Count: 2.2k+
Part 1 (2 in the making and possibly a bonus too)
CONTAINS DARK THEMES!
PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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A/N: uh, hi. First off, I want to apologize for disappearing literally right after starting this blog. I’ll try to post more often now that I’m back on my eren shit. The ONLY reason I’m back is that there are seriously no more good dark fics anymore and no one seems to be doing SHIT about it, so ur girl’s coming in clutch for all u peeps who are into dark shit. Ong tho, I’m tired of re-reading fics (shout out @father-time-and-baby-new-year , IVE BEEN LIVING OFF HER FICS, so good, chefs kiss) anyways, happy very belated Christmas and new year :) also, the song that inspired this fic is “Mind Games” by Sickick. Definitely giving toxic eren😩
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Warning(s): Physical abuse, slapping, squirting, toxic behaviour, toxic Eren, dacryphilia kink, sadist!Eren, choking, manipulation, rough sex, abandonment issues, mean!Eren, groping in public, degradation
THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!
THIS FIC CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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“There’s another side that you don’t know, you don’t know.”
You peer over at Eren whose left hand is firmly at the 12 o’clock position on the steering wheel. His other hand gripped your bare thigh, occasionally rubbing his thumb up and down on your tender skin. His eyes were direct, jaw tight. You took this as a chance to observe how Eren looked tonight. He was wearing mid-rise, black, ripped jeans. Matching his pants with a black designer t-shirt. Initially, he wore a black hoodie over the top, but now it’s over you. His long, silky hair was in a loose man bun and a thick silver chain hung around his semi-tattooed neck. Both of his arms were littered with tattoos and veins. Around his left wrist was an expensive watch and down to his fingers were a few silver rings.
You look down at his hand that was on your lap. You brought both of your hands down to his and played with the bracelet that you made for him. It made your heart flutter a bit that he was still wearing it, despite it acquiring bright colours which he contrasts with.
“I can’t wait to get you all alone, all alone.”
Eren was driving back to his house after a night out with a few friends. As much as you wanted to tell him to take you back to your place, you knew he would become more aggravated with you. You decided against poking the bear and buried your face into his warm, soft hoodie.
You closed your eyes and thought about the events that unfolded tonight. It was your first time going out. After being endlessly bullied throughout middle and high school by Eren, you ended up with no friends. At first, you were fine with being independent but as you got older, you realized how much you were missing out on. Ironically, your first outing was with Eren’s friends. You knew Eren was bound to be there but you couldn’t give up on the opportunity of making new friends.
You wore a short, emerald green, bodycon dress. You wore your hair down with a few accessories to put your look together. Originally, you were going to walk to the arcade — where you planned on meeting up — but your friend Sasha offered to pick you up.
The night was going swell, you were genuinely having fun. The hangout moved from the arcade to a bar where Sasha’s boyfriend served you guys a few rounds. It began to get late, and the bar started to fill. While Sasha was dragging you to the dance floor, you made eye contact with him. It made you stop in your tracks because you know that look. You recognize it by heart. Goosebumps run up your body and you begin to think back to the last time he gave you that look. It was a warning look. As she was being dragged away, Sasha quickly let go of your arm and you made the sensible decision to sit back down at the booth.
“Once I’m in there ain’t no letting go, letting go.”
Casually, Eren ended his conversation with his friend and strolled over to you, nearly sitting on top of your thigh. His arm rested around the seat and he leaned into you. “Who invited you, trailer trash?”
You attempted to move down the booth, but Eren lowered his hand to your thigh and squeezed it. “Answer me.”
“Sasha invited me.” You meekly say, clearly uncomfortable and intimidated by his presence.
“Oh? When did you and Sash become besties? Does Sash even know where you come from?
You don’t answer. You know he’s referring to your home which is an old, rented-out trailer that’s at a trailer park. You had running water, a bed, a cramped kitchen and a living space. You were practically raised in it. It was good enough for you but for someone like Eren who comes from mansions, yachts and money, could never see how one can survive in it. He let the whole world know that you were poor and grew up with a single mother who abandoned you at 14. It hurt, every time he spoke about it like it was his trauma.
Yet, you have kept a charming smile on your face and allowed him to run all over you. You were a person who avoided conflict. You’ll apologize even if you did nothing wrong. You never saw the point in fighting, especially with someone like Eren.
“She picked me up from there.”
He raised an eyebrow at this. “Oh? Are you sure she saw the trailer park or did you wait at the corner of the street so she wouldn’t see?” Eren could read you like a book. You loathed yourself for hiding or at least trying to conceal the fact that you lived there. You live in a relatively wealthy town — mostly wealthy senior people who’ve retired reside in your town. Then there are people like Eren, whose father is a successful travel doctor and whose mom is a successful travel nurse who retired early and now lives her life as a housewife. His dad could retire early too, but he chose to be the town’s family doctor.
Eren grew up in a mansion with nannies and butler’s running to him at the snap of his fingers. No one has ever said no to Eren. Except for you, but would he ever listen to a nobody like you? You’re nothing but trailer trash to him. You hated that Eren made you feel self-conscious about where you lived. You hated that he made you feel ashamed of yourself for being poor, even though it’s out of your control. You know you don’t fit in the standard of this town, but it’s not like you had money to move away either. Regardless, it felt inhumane to criticize someone simply because they don’t have as much money as you. Any available condos here were a minimum of $1,000 per month vs your trailer rent which was $200, including utilities.
Furthermore, it was the last thing your mother left you. She paid the rent for the next 5 years then vanished. All you needed was money for food. You recall how you struggled to get a job at 14, most of the businesses running in town were family-based. They didn’t hire outsiders. Eventually, Eren’s mother Carla offered you a job as her sewing assistant. You were passionate about fashion, clothes and designing, so the job was right up your alley. Not to mention, Eren’s mother was a fallen angel. Truly a second mother. She was somewhat aware of your situation and frequently had you stay over for dinner, so you wouldn’t go home hungry.
Initially, you thought you hit the jackpot with this job, but once Eren started interfering, you began to scramble home as soon as you were done. It started small, like mean, typical insults to a little physical aggression like pushing and pulling to straight abuse. Every so often when Carla wasn’t looking, Eren would grip you by the neck and slam you into the wall, choking you out. Other times he’d slap you, pull your hair and spit on your face. You thought you could manage, but the final straw was when he ripped through your virginity, dismissing your pleas to stop.
You had to quit afterward and budgeted your saved money until you could find another job or better yet, get the hell out of here and away from him. But of course, that never happened. In fact, after Eren had stolen your virginity, he kept coming back for more. Early in the morning, he would show up at your door and force you to the back, where the bed was. You recall it all too vividly, you were lying on your stomach, unfortunately already aware of what was about to go down. You couldn’t help but cry. You were unsure of how to stop him. His whole body weight kept you down, and he had both of your wrists pinned. You were wearing a nightgown, only providing easier access for him. He fondled your body for a couple of minutes before ripping your gown off, leaving you bare on the bed. Eren had a ridiculously huge dick. No matter how many times you fuck, you can never adjust to his cock. Eren was completely aware of this and used it to his sick advantage. Without properly prepping, he pierced into your tight pussy, letting out a deep groan after bottoming out. You were sobbing your heart out, kicking, squirming, whimpering, doing anything you could to attempt to get him off. Little did you know, Eren was fully getting off to this. He pulled out his cock again and shoved it back in with no mercy. Pretty quickly, he picked up the pace and began fucking you like an animal in heat. He had a hold of your whole body; he wouldn’t allow you to slip away from him. After adjusting to a comfortable speed, he leaned down, burning breath fanning your ear, “stop fucking crying, you like this.”
“No, Eren please!” you cry out, gripping the bed sheets harder than before. He lets go of your wrist and pulls your hair back to get a proper look at your pathetic face. “Tell me no again, baby. I fucking dare you.”He pressed his cheek against yours, moving his hips harder and faster from behind. He was provoking you to say it again. It’d give him more reason to punish you. You knew it was a trap and tried your best to avoid it, but it wasn’t enough. After hours of relentless fucking, you felt the hope in your body crumble and decay. It hurt to inhale because of his cock that was nonstop impaling you. It didn’t seem like he was going to stop anytime soon either. You couldn’t help but beg him to stop. Every inch of your body was aching, screaming at your brain to figure something out to make this all stop. Your poor mind was helpless. You couldn’t do anything but beg for mercy.
Eren quite literally fucked you all night. By the morning, you were smothered in sweat and tears. When you woke up, he was gone. Wrapping a blanket around yourself, you waddled over to the bathroom before bursting out into tears after taking a look at yourself. Dark hickeys decorated your neck, collarbone and cleavage. His big hands left some bruises on your wrist and ass. Lips are swollen from being sucked on for too long and hard. You used the washroom and freshened up a bit before crawling back into your bed.
Unfortunately, for you, this would merely be the start of it.
“Watch me turn your mind into my home.”
Eren's house is located in the outer part of town, also known as, where the rich people live. The drive from town to his house was about 30 minutes, even with Eren’s speeding. Eren’s hand was now holding yours; he was fidgeting with your ring.
It belonged to your mother. After she “had disappeared, ”you went to the police station after 72 hours of her not contacting you. You knew your mother’s work required her to be away for a few days, but normally she’d call you. It had already been three days and you hadn’t received a single phone call. When you informed the police officer, they informed you that your mother had already spoken with them and that she was not missing. She’s moved into the city. A wave of confusion strikes you. Did she move… without you? You understand the city was far more expensive to live in, especially with a teenager, but an explanation would’ve been nice. Once you reached home, you opened a few of her drawers and saw that most of her items were gone. You must have been in deep slumber when she packed her bags and left for good. Your heart breaks a little, every time you think about it. It made you feel worthless.
Although you’ve never acknowledged it, your mom was the one who triggered the crack in you. She raised you to be independent and obedient because it made her job as a parent significantly easier. By the time you were eight, you already knew how to wash your clothes, cook and even walked to school by yourself, despite it being a 15-20 minute walk. Because your mom left early in the morning, it was your responsibility to wake up and get ready for school. However, you never complained because you knew your mother was working her ass off to provide a better living for you. Or so you thought. But could you blame her? You hated that you constantly found a reason to be empathetic toward someone, even when they outright wronged you. Your mother left you to fend for yourself, and that’s how you landed into the palms of Eren Jaeger who completed the crack and completely broke you.
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I fucking hate Tumblr. It took me longer to format this fic than to write it.
Anyways, hope you somewhat enjoyed it.
I know that there wasn't much smut in this part but the next part will!!
Thanks for reading :)
xoxo,
n❣️
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glass--beach · 4 months
Note
in 2021 I recorded some audio of plastic death songs on my phone at a show and shared it to a couple friends. now that the album is out would it be cool to post them somewhere more publicly for people who are interested?
also I love the album but I was trying to describe it to my girlfriend and she very seriously asked me "do you like this album???" which I think says a lot about how I see it and have been trying to pick at it. incredible work though genuinely (slip under the door is my favorite I think)
you can post the clips. when we played the songs live william said not to record them and many took it seriously but it was a clever bit of reverse psychology you see.
thats so true because i describe things i like in such odd ways. “bleak” “miserable” “painful” “annoying” these are complements from my mouth. i have such a taste for horrible things. i said jimmy fallon was a sick hollow shell of a man who i despise and the band was surprised when i said i would go on his show just because i hate him so much. i actually dont have much hate in my heart just endless love for our godawful culture
ive said this about many of the songs but slip under the door was the only one we needed to write. i think i almost understood what the “body without organs” was when i was writing it. idk. it’s beautiful. screaming takes you out of yourself which is a blissful place. abandonment of your own voice abandonment of fundamental frequency and yet a deep connection to the human as an animal. language breaks down. the throat was not built to hold words.
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notzawzark · 2 years
Note
I really enjoyed your story a part two would be lovely but do not push yourself and have a lovely day
GHOST (mw2) X MALE READER (platonic) PT2
woooooo yeah baby, thats what ive been wait for, thats what ive been taking about, wwoooooo, another installment of my poorly planned fanfic
as perusual: sorry for any typos, and do not expect some grandiose writting, i am not that smart
CW/TW's: toture, gore, vomit, if i should add more just tell me and i will
I throw on a shirt. A button up. Not one I chose myself, but its not like I hate it. Its ugly but in a charming way. I put on leather boots, keeping the pants I wore to sleep on. Its not my best outfit, but considering how little sleep I got last night, I don’t anyone will care. I sure as hell don’t. 
I leave my room, entering into a hall. The cold concrete  below me tapping under my feet. I stop in front of ghosts room. I hear talking on the other side of the heavy metal door. Faint, but still there. The guards posted in front of the door ask me if I want in. I tell them no. I want to get somethings first. I wonder the halls. Looking for the stairs up. The building were currently holed up in (and have been for awhile) is some old abandoned hospital. When we first set up here, it was trashed. To this day  It still doesn’t look very homely, but its better then it was.
Ive been stashed away in the basement, Also where the interrogation room is set up. i find the stairs, ascending up to floor level. I make my way to the current medical ward. there are so many people. You wouldn’t expect this place to be so packed, but it almost always is. Most of the people here are good. Civilians. Simply people in need of doctors, but without the money to get any. Cant say the same for the people stationed in the basement.
“hey.” I try and get the attention of one of the makeshift medical staff. His name is Chester im pretty sure. “shit-“ he turns around, startled. he was tending to some random sick person. Cant tell why their sick though. “(reader)!” he sounds pleasantly surprised. Like meeting an old friend unexpectedly. Weve only really ever talked a few times. “I need bandages.” I tell him. He looks around, a but confused, “uhm…” he takes a second “do you mind if I ask why? Or is that.. uh.. can I ask why?” he lowers his voice into a whisper for the last bit, leaning in.
All the ‘doctors’ know who theyre working for. The same man im working for. But that’s about all they get to know. We bring them medical supplies so that they can help their towns people. in return, they fix up anyone we bring to them, no questions asked. It’s a covert deal, and they arent aloud to talk about us. If they did, my boss would probably anonymously tell the police what they have set up here. Only one of the doctors has a medical license.
“the bandages arent for me” he understands that he isnt gonna get much more then that, nodding and leading me away from his current patient. He takes me to a closet “bandages and stuff are in here,” he opens it, “can I ask what type of wound your bandaging?” he asks, leading me in.
“I don’t know.” It sounds like a copout, but I genuinely have no idea. It could be anything. Cuts, burns, chopped off limbs. “oh wow.” He looks worriedly, searching through the random supplies. He hands me a roll of white bandages, “here” and then he goes back to looking around. “what are you looking for?” I peek over his shoulder. “well your probably gonna need more then just the plain bandages, even if we don’t know what you gonna have to fix up.” he hands me some bandage tape. “thank you” I tell him.
we part ways, and I start back to the basement. Stopping on my way to ghosts new room to get a bucket of water, two rags, and a towel.
I stop in front of the door, there isnt any talking now, nodding to the two guards. They go to open the door, but its prematurely opened by someone else. Im greeted by a man covered in someone else's blood. The man with the cart of torture supplies. The butcher. “hi-“ my voice cuts off. “hello.” He looks down at the assortment of things Chester handed me. He grunts, pushing past me, dragging his cart behind him. Its bloody. Very bloody. there are a few loose teeth on it that werent before, and it leaves a trail of blood behind him as he leaves.
I enter the room, hastily met with the smell of blood and vomit. I turn my face, it smells fucking awful. The door is shut behind me. The table has been moved off to the side, and ghost to the middle of the room. Hes covered in his own blood. “hey..” I let out. I try not to let my concern waver my voice. Ghost groans, and then ends up in a coughing fit. His mask is off, but his head is dropped down, facing the floor, blood soaked in his hair. I go over to the table, dropping my supplies down, and picking up his skull mask. “would you like your mask back?” I ask, turning to him. He just coughs more. Im pretty sure he coughed up blood.
I get up closer to him, placing down my bucket of water, his breathing hastens, he turns his face away. It takes a moment for it to click, “oh shit-“ I look at the rag in my hand, “im not gonna water board you bro, I swear.” I panic out, trying to make him less weary of me. 
It doesn’t work much, and he tenses everytime I move. Pulling up my sleeves, I dip the rag in water, and then start to clean out his wounds. There are different kinds. Some deep gashes, some circular holes in his skin, others bruises so blue youd think it hurt his bones. I don’t really get a good look at his face, even while I try and get blood off of it. he moves his face away everytime I try to touch it. its Understandable, but it makes things much more difficult. 
I give up on trying to clean his face, and just put his mask back on him. He immediately seems more comfortable, still incredibly tense, but less so then before. I continue to clean off all the blood on him. Its tiring. Eventually its done though. I wrap the towel around him, covering him and helping him dry all in one. I get up, and grab the bandages, and tape. i get back to him, placing both on the ground. I open the package for the bandages. 
I cover up most of the big gashes, and even a few of the smaller ones. Im covered in dried up blood now. I clean up around his chair too. Just getting blood up off the floor. Theirs vomit beside him. I begrudgingly clean that up too. I throw the second rag into the bucket. Taking a deep breath ones ive left the floor.
“thanks” ghosts voice sounds hoarse and it cuts out at the end. I go sit up in the table off to the side. “whens the last time you slept” I ask him the first real question of the day. Its quiet for a few minutes until he responds, “four days.” I mouth a ‘wow’ under my breath. I hold my breathing in thought, puffing out once I get to my conclusion. “ill let you sleep the entire time im here.. which should be..” I trail off thinking and doing math in my head, “two hours I believe, if you tell me what you guys know.”
He doesn’t respond. “what about a hint.” I smile at him. “no” his voice sounds more firm. The smile doesn’t fade. “fine, then you wont sleep for another day.” I hop off the table, and get onto the chair that was discarded next to it. Theres still paper and pencils, and so I start drawing. I draw him again. Its quiet in the room for nearly 20 minutes, I look up from my drawing every now and then to make sure he isnt asleep.
Hes falls asleep. I throw a balled up piece of paper at him. He startles up, looking around frantically to assess the situation. He drops his head back once he realizes it was just me. “if you had given me that hint I would have let you stay asleep” I taunt him. “fuck off” he blurts out. Hes getting comfortable, that hes just tired enough to not give a shit.
It gets quiet again.
“you know what-“ I look over to him, getting out of my seat and sitting on the table again. “if you tell me about your family ill let you sleep..” I pause, “that or your name” he looks me dead in the eyes, then up and down. Silence. “how’d you know about my brother?” he asks. A surprise for sure. “we made a little file on you, figuring out everything we could before we ambushed you. It was in that file… one of the few things about you in that file, and not just about ghost.”
“I am ghost.”
“you are a ghost.. you know how hard it was to find that out about your brother? That you even had a brother?”
“that’s the point.” He says in between coughs
I take a deep breath in and out. “I guess it is.” I say looking off.
A silence settles again. For about five minutes. He stares at me for three of them before looking away. “my brothers name was tommy.” I snap my head towards him. I didn’t actually expect him to tell me about his family. “is that so.” I inquire more. “he had a kid.” He continues. “and where is that kid now?” ghost doesn’t answer.
“and what about your dad?” he doesn’t respond, just like last time. I sigh. i want more, but technically he followed the rules I had. “you can sleep.” I jump off of the table, and get back to my drawing. Ghost gets as comfortable in his seat as he possibly can. Wasting no time to getting to sleep.
An hour and a half pass by. Ive filled the entire page with drawings. Ghost is sound asleep- the door starts to open. Shit. “HEY-“ I greet the person at the door loud enough to wake ghost up. “your back early,” I turn to the door. And ghost hurriedly wakes up. “(reader).” ‘The butcher’ greets me back, waving one of his hands stiffly at me. 
“uh- can we have a few more minutes?” I rush out as the large man starts hauling in his cart into the room. He stops in his tracks. Slowly turning to look at me. “your time is up.” fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck “yeah but… i-I I was- I was starting to get somewhere with my… interrogation.”
“where?”
“he was starting to talk about his- uh his family and-“
“the boss doesn’t want to hear about his family.” He cuts me off
I look to ghost, and then to the man in front of me. “yes but-“
“why are you wasting my time (reader)?”
He cuts me off again.
I mumble and apology. I really shouldn’t have fucking done that. Shit, all cause I wanted to show ghost my stupid drawing.
He leaves his cart next to ghost, who has started hyperventilating. “you gave him bandaids.” He points out. “I didn't want him to bleed out.” I  had already thought of an excuse. “I didn’t say you could give him bandaids.”
“yeah but he was probably gonna die”
“I didn’t say you could give him bandaids.” He turns to me. “yeah and the boss didn’t say you could kill him,” I retort.
He picks up a pair of pliers, holding them so tight his knuckles turn white. Hes threatening me. Fuck. “im sorry, I just didn’t want valuable intel to die.” I soften my voice, trying to de-escalate the situation. He turns back to ghost. I start to leave. “your not aloud to leave.” He snaps his pliers a few times to emphasize.
“come on man-“ I turn around towards him, my voice breaking. I don’t want to be here. He hums a bit, snapping his pliers a few more times. He doesn’t respond. “ill get you those drugs you wanted.” He stops humming, and lets the air fill with silence. “alright, you can leave.”
I practically run out of there. I feel bad. I feel bad for ghost. I feel bad about having to steal from the med ward. Shit. I really wanted to show him my drawing. I bet he would have told me it was cool. I get to the showers upstairs, and I wash all of his blood off of me. Then I go to my room. I put the drawing next to the first one. Hopping onto my bed.
If I get caught stealing ill be as good as dead.
hiiiiiiiii i see you made it to the end again, blushes
if everything goes to plan there should be at least five chapters of this fic when im done
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aita-blorbos · 1 month
Note
aita for abandoning my husband?
okay, so... i (27NB) recently got married to my husband (25M), who i'll call F. we've been together for 7 years, and there's been a zombie apocalypse for almost two years now. we got married in this apolcalypse a few months ago, and i was so happy. he's really everything to me and i would do anything for him, genuinely.
but, uh... F has always been really scared. he loves me a lot, and since this is a zombie apocalypse he's terrified of me dying. i understand! if he died i dont think i could survive, and im scared of losing him too!
but it got to the point where he never wanted me to go anywhere outside of camp without him. i got chosen for food finding duty with my 'sister' (30sF, i'll call her A) (shes not my sister, i met her before i found out my best friend was alive (shes here now and im so happy because i love her, ive known her since i was born) and she basically started calling me her sibling. she has many of these siblings) and he freaked out.
he acts like i can't defend myself! im an adult, im two years older than him for fucks sake! i love this man, i really do, he means so much to me and hes an amazing partner and person in general, but he needs to understand that i can defend myself!
and so uh, that night i slept in A and her girlfriend's tent. her brother (30sM, i'll call him R) was also there, apparently he was kicked out of his tent with his girlfriend because F wanted to sleep there (he and R's girlfriend are really close). when i heard that i immediately left and went to the tent to try and find him. i got attacked by like 20 zombies, but i'm fine. and so i ended up staying in our tent.
now here comes the abandonment part.
i left. i wrote a note, i packed my bag and i left. i took his hoodie with me because i couldn't bear to have nothing left of his. i also took my best friend's necklace and my brother's picture of us. so while they were all asleep i just left in the middle of the night.
another person left at the same time -- someone F hates. i hated him too, but now we're really close.
i miss my husband so much. i just want him to understand that i'm strong! im able to survive without him!
aita?
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tradwoof-tadashi · 7 months
Note
it’s me. a hate anon. i’m being incredibly annoying about my take on fictional characters.
anyways who is a*am or whatever i want all the tea
lol oh buddy you have no idea. its been so many years of bullshit and, granted, its been a while since ive been in the trenches, but i have ALL the tea to spill. okay, so,
Sk8 the Infinity was a shounen sports anime that aired in early 2021, January to April. It followed the protagonist Reki Kyan, a 3rd-year in high school who was a skater. But this isn't just an anime about skateboarding. The grand majority of the skating took place at "S", an illegal skating course in an abandoned mine. The important races are "beefs", and there are no rules to beefs; you can injure your opponent in any way, and there's no consequences.
Some other relevant characters are: Langa Hasegawa, nicknamed SNOW, the deuteragonist; Ainosuke Shindo, ADAM, the antagonist; Tadashi Kikuchi, supporting character. Not sure whether to place him as an antagonist or protag, he kinda straddles the line.
The thing about ADAM is that he's the subversion of an all-too well known anime trope: Pedophile villain. See, while he does not in fact have those feelings towards minors in the show, he. Is very complicated. He has a whole thing where he thinks love is a good thing but also pain, because his aunts beat him and said it was because they love him and he believed them. He's also still grappling with the trauma of being "betrayed" by his childhood friend, Tadashi.
He's trying to find the EVE to his ADAM, because he hurts from being betrayed by the person he cares for most, but in reality, what he really wants is Tadashi back. But he's confused, and thinks that wanting to hurt someone means loving them. So he doesn't know what love feels like. If he thinks he "loves" himself, he hates himself and wants to hurt himself. Which. He kinda does try to kill himself sort of in the finale. It's a whole thing.
(Notice how I put "betrayed" in quotes. If you read scum villain, its a similar situation as with QiJiu. One party wanted to protect the other and failed, so they stay silent and do all they can for that person out of guilt. The other thinks the other really did betray them, and is hurt that that person is so much colder now, that the other person doesnt love them anymore.)
So, anyways. Adam is confused about what love is, and his arc in the first season was learning to not "love" people the way he does, and to accept care, even if he doesn't know it's love. When he reconciled with Tadashi in the final episode, he said "You'll be my dog for the rest of our lives", and I and everyone else in the Tadaai fandom understood he said that because 1. kinky fuckers lol 2. more relevantly, saying he loves Tadashi would be a red flag, because his definition of love is completely warped. Regardless of how he said it, the "be mine forever" was the important part. And Tadashi understood.
But most of what I'm referencing happened in the later episodes. Like I said, he was a subversion, which means that first he had to be slotted into the role before undoing it. Now I bring up The Langa Thing.
Langa was half-Canadian, and grew up in Canada. But when his father died, his mother took him back to Japan so she would have family around her in her grief. He ended up in Reki's class, and the two quickly became friends.
Reki taught Langa how to skate, but because Langa snowboarded since he was 2, he picked it up rather quickly, and even showed extreme talent. This extreme talent caught the eye of most of the skaters at S, and he earned the moniker "Snow". It also made the founder of S notice him. And that founder is Ainosuke Shindo, Adam.
Remember how I said he's trying to find his EVE? He thinks he wants an equal in skating, his only escape from his suffocating life, but he really wants Tadashi back. But he sees this genius in skating, and really is excited to skate with someone new. But he doesn't recognize it for just that, he thinks he found his "Eve". There's plenty of things he does, calling Langa "Langa-kun", being very excited to skate with Langa, giving him a bouquet of roses at one point (though one would argue that it's perfectly in line with his dramatics, hes essentially a drag king whose show is skateboarding).
All in all, there's a lot of suggestions he's attracted to Langa, but later episodes disprove that. There were other sketchy things (him saying to a middle schooler "I'll love you when you're older", but this was in reference to skateboarding, and by his definition of love, he means "yea you're too young for me to beat the crap out of you kid". Which is a perfectly normal sentiment, he just has an extremely weird way of saying it.) But... here's the thing.
There were weekly episodes.
Meaning: People pegged him as a "pedophile anime villain" type for months before his true nature was revealed. And when that evidence showed, people weren't inclined to believe it. People also thought he was Tadashi's abuser before the true nature of their relationship was revealed.
So, Adam isn't a pedophile. His relationship with Tadashi is rough, but Tadashi has full autonomy and chooses to be a part of it, and they're getting better. Adam is weird, sure, but he has reason to be that way. But the fandom lacks reading comprehension and hates to be proven wrong. So, people still think of him as a pedophilic abuser.
And like. I harken from ye olden days of Black Butler, okay. I'm not exactly put off by edenshippers (adam x langa). But for gods sake the show disproved it. Why are y'all acting like this.
So. Being known as an Adam fan is a one-way ticket to getting a bunch of harassment. Was back then, apparently still is now. I can't wait for season 2 to prove these assholes wrong.
sorry for the essay sprung on you bestie
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taliskermortem · 11 months
Text
okay on to episode 9
again under the cut so as not to bore you all
MINSEONG AND HYEONGJOON DATE:
the cuddling. its back. i’m still not over it.
minseong not impressed he’s been abandoned
oh my god. he made a list. i’m in love with him.
hyeongjoon’s driving terrifies me and minseong willingly got back in the car with him behind the wheel that’s some serious bravery
ah my hyeongjoon he’s so shy and awkward
why are they the only ones doing a proper activity
also they did not wear warm enough coats for this… oh never mind they did bring better coats thank god
why is hyeongjoon like this, he’s such a mess and its adorable… at least its an excuse to hold hands i guess
HOT PACKS AS A LANGUAGE OF LOVE I GUESS
(side not again… okay i never used to understand why so many koreans hate cucumber because where im from its really not that strong of a taste but that was before i had a korean cumcumber and now i undersand completely i don’t know whats wrong with them )
COUPLE RINGS I'M DEAD MINSEONG-AH WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE THEY’RE HIDEOUS
i’ve just ealised this is minseong’s first proper date bless him (no that one with junseong did not count that was just friends hanging out)
also how does hyeongjoon make those slits in his eyebrow disappear so thoroughly
ah communication. we love it.
they’re so cute together
JEONGWOOK AND HYEONGJIN DATE:
aah jeongwook i wish you weren’t so hung up on yoonghee
glad he’s enjoying himself though and he seems more relaxed with hyeongjin than i expected
oh my god imagine if hyeongjin didn’t like dogs this would have been a disaster
i too would focus on the dog and not the date can’t really blame you for that one
no no if he’s going to serenade i’m out of here i can’t deal with that i’m sorry even if you have the best voice in the world i cant hack it
WHY A CHRISTMAS SONG WHAT IS GOING ON GET ME OUT OF HERE
okay i’m sure he has a lovely voice but i think i died of embarrassment hyeongjin you truly are stronger man than me
okay it’s nice that jeongwook is opening up and showing more of himself but this is not really feeling like a date at all and if i were hyeongjin i would feel so incredible awkward right now
ah jeongwook don’t cry noooo this poor guy, he seems to really be struggling i hope he’s okay
THE EVENING:
not the dates coming home in order of how successful they were (from least to most in my personal opinion)
minseong following hyeongjoon to his room even though they’ve spent all day together already
JUNSEONG AND SEONGHO FIRST TO LEAVE LAST TO RETURN TAKE FROM THAT WHAT YOU WILL
yoonghee and junseong’s friendship is important to me okay
seonwoo literally could not answer a question directly even if his life depended on it
oh wow he’s really just going to sit there and stare at junseong and seongho in the kitchen what the hell dude
wow this isn’t awkward at all what are you trying to achieve here other than making everyone uncomfortable
let’s be honest the real final couple from this show is hyeongjoon and food
they talked for SEVEN HOURS HAHAHA I’M FINE (also still sitting together at the table it’s the little things okay)
AH I'M WEAK – hyeongjin wanting to talk to junseong and junseong taking seongho with him with that soft arm on his shoulders yes hi ive died had to rewind like five times to catch what they were saying because i was too distracted watching them… oh my god seongho’s ‘im going with you’ look im totally fine
GREY SPORTSWEAR FAMILY
seongho abandoning them to all the dishes he created just to hang out with junseong some more
okay im glad they had the same reaction as me to taking him to his house
THE HEAD ON THE LAP/SHIN SEONGHO PLEASE
“a very personal song” it was a christmas song bro
sensible seongho – go talk to jeongwook not them
poor jeongwook i feel like he’s been totally confused this whole day and to be honest i cant blame him there was a much simpler and susinct way for hyeongjin to get his point across without sounding kind of like an asshole and hurting people’s feelings
hyeongjin, my dude, stop. he get’s it, you misunderstood. let’s just let it rest and say you had a good time but you don’t have feelings
i understand hyeongjin not wanting there to be a misunderstanding but also jeongwook is right why he’s saying it like this is weird and hurtful
right i knew this conversation was going to go down the toilet but i didn’t think it would be this bad
unnecessary drama is all im saying
VOICEMAIL AND PHONE CALL TIME:
ha seonwoo no message from seongho or yoonghee this is what happens when you act the nice guy and have no follow through
seonwoo to seongho – awkward phone call and the first thing he brings up is seongho’s date with junseong this guy is a joke he literally said the other day they should just focus on each other not on junseong but he cannot let it go
two messages for junseong i’m living for this he deserves it
his face when he heard yoonghee that was priceless oh my god he’s so sweet and yeah i just love their friendship
love the silent pause before the second message like junseong and literally everyone else is holding their breath in anticipation
JUNSEONG-AH DID YOU WAIT LONG I'M SOBBING
also i’m pretty sure junseong has his eyes closed like he can’t quite believe it
AND THE PREVIEW:
look i don’t really want to talk about this i’ve been mad about it all day and will be for the next week
but also
from the voice mails we now know:
junseong – seongho
seongho – junseong
yoonghee – junseong
seonwoo – seongho
hyeongjin – seonwoo
minseong – hyeongjin
so the only one we don’t know is jeongwook, which means he definitely doesn’t have any messages and unless he sent a message to hyeongjoon (which is definitely possible) hyeongjoon also won’t have any messages
i kind of wish minseong had told hyeongjoon beforehand that he hadn’t sent him a message just so hyeongjoon isn’t expecting it and it’s not going to ruin his evening after the date they had
ugh it’s still such a mess i’m just going to try and forget about everything that isn’t junseong and seongho being soft
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acaciapines · 7 months
Note
If you’re still doing songs - song 69 and 138?
im always up to do em lets GO! i'll put both above the cut n then talk below :)
69. It’s Called: Freefall – Rainbow Kitten Surprise
king misses his mom. he misses his sister. he misses his aunt and his grandparents and mari trying to pin him down and luz letting him crawl under her covers and eda hugging him when he grabbed for her and firefly chirping good morning and good night and throwing out her wings to keep him safe.
“kiiiiiiiiing,” the collector whines, flipping upside-down through the air. “you’re so boring, what is your problem?”
“just tired,” king says. it’s hard to look at the collector straight-on. the thoughts that surround him are a messy array, and barely any of them are his, the way they are for anybody else: it’s a weird conglomerate of old thoughts like those that drift through the sky, but so packed together he can’t make anything out. it’s a beach of golden sand the collector runs through, leaving kicked-up grit in his awake.
“naw, c’mon,” they needle, landing right in front of him. “you’ve been tired forever. be fun!”
he misses his family so bad he’s sure it’s a wound spilling out of him. how can’t the collector see that?
“okay,” king says, “fine. let’s play.”
138. Habits – Genevieve Stokes
ask anybody: edalyn-owlbert clawthorne was never planning to have kids.
never really interested her. not the settling-down part, not the needing to keep another living creature alive part, not the having to be a good influence, gag. nah. kids were never going to be her thing, and so she never sought them out.
and then the little buggers found her.
well. she’s technically the one who stumbled across king, the owl beast’s faltering flight into that abandoned ruin he was living in, but king was the one who followed them both and refused to be left behind. plus, that stone-monster was going to kill him. eda wasn’t a fan of kids, but she didn’t want to leave them for dead, either.
looking back she’s pretty sure the owl beast was laughing at her.
laughed even harder when she took in luz. you’re an apprentice, kid, eda had told her, and the girl had squealed, and her daemon had sat there on her shoulder with her tiny chest puffed out, and something in eda knew this was going to be a permanent thing.
oh well. at least she skipped the changing diapers phase of things.
Discussion
for the first one: oh! hey! this one is relevant to for the future which im writing right NOW! ive been thinking a lot recently about how kings gonna be Doing in that entire like, 2-3 months he's basically on his own with the collector, because i'll be expanding out from what was shown in the show, and just...god. poor kid.
its terrifying! im a collector lover but even i'll admit he is Not great with king, especilly towards the start, and thats not going anywhere--king misses his family and the collector has been on his own for so LONG, and has this sense of entitlement to kings time + space. why does everyone else get a lifelong friend with them since birth? the collector wants that! and if they werent born with it they'll find a friend then! like KING!
its just a LOT. it makes for fun writing though kdnfkgdfg king doesnt hate the collector but oh boy is he not actually friends with them.
this one also makes it pretty obvious what im doing in regards to king being a titan lol but ive decided not to talk so explicitly about that unless im asked a question in which i cant speak around it. i gotta keep some of my secrets!
for the second one: MOM EDA MY BELOVED sorry i literally love that trope so much okay. its so so fun to write. eda really tripped and fell into parenthood like ah shit now ive got to be responsible for HOW MANY of these guys now? two? three? am i supposed to count mari and luz as one or two because based on the day that is a WILDLY different answer.
but yeah <3 its also made even more funny that firefly knew 100% what she was getting into. this was a massive shock to eda, but firefly's been a mom from the start!
also ooooh got that owlbert mention huh wonder what that is about...wonder what my owlbert secrets might be....if he shows up at all....hmmmm...
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itsdappleagain · 1 year
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it is time for the crackle goes kiwi caper!
oh man. im so close to being caught up. hold on, stockholm, I'm coming and i WILL be on time (i hope)
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thats auckland btw
notes under the cut as always
OH okay ive been saving a really old edit for this episode
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you're welcome
oh opening thoughts on the episode. ummmmmm its good. i like it. only reason i would have to dislike it is i guess the sort of red crackle stuff from it but i dont hate red crackle on default so it stands as a good episode. i like the dancing and the stakes actually feel pretty high a lot of the time!
not player hacking into the russian government
ah, neal. neal the eel. he is indeed. an eel
also rhys darby is my favorite voice actor on the planet
also also autistic dr bellum real and true
YOU WILL TRY
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YUHHH GET IT
neal loving puns 👍
the "coo" neal does after he escapes into the vent is the bane of my existence i hate it with a burning passion
i wonder if "project tripwire" is supposed to be an experiment left over from the cold war or something?
zack is enjoying his sandwich!
that lean over carmen's shoulder one hand on the desk one hand on his hip move shadowsan is doing is the most dad thing
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top ten moments before disaster
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GIRL THE 3/4 PROFILE IN CS STYLE DOESNT WORK STOP USING IT
i love that the vile harddrive is like. VILE google
CRISPY FRIED CARMEN
player: we need an electrician who knows their stuff so carmen doesnt get electrocuted to death!! the job they need done: wooo slidey thingies....ooooooo dont let it touch the line!! woooo!!
player in s1: we CANT let crackle get ANYWHERE near you he may be a SLEEPER AGENT or put you in DANGER player in s2: we cant 🥺 even bring him back to play for the good guys? 🥺🥺🥺
i guess thats probably because shadowsan confirmed that he doesnt have any memories or sleeper agent tendencies lmaoo
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fun fact! graham's cafe does not in fact exist. it is a housing complex/ lookout
carmen could not have picked a more. i mean just what a cover story. obviously i get that its personal to her but imagine being an electrican and this lady who is even younger than you comes up to you and is like oh...yeah i run an international charity. for abandoned children how unaccomplished would you feel wheeze
i will never stop saying this but SAY GOODBYE OR SOMETHING PLEASE CARMEN
interesting that the "cuppa" he insists she has with him kind of sets off a shit ton of stuff for s4. if acme hadn't taken gray in they wouldnt have probably ever been able to help carmen get out of mind control, or it would have taken much longer. she wouldnt have been able to discover and destroy the robots. weird stuff
insert meme about people calling paper star tammy because of that one time she used that as a codename here. except its with player and peter
ALSO HEEY PLAYERS ACCENT FROM S1 PAID OFF...he was practicing...
where did they get that ballet which is perfectly synched up to the lights he needs to turn off
not bellum's ominous green lighting black shiny lab. so subtle
also you would think that the power station bellum draws ALL her power from would be better protected wouldnt you?
did they let crackle practice the "lights" because if they didnt- yikes that sucks and if they did- bellum's security mechanism just going haywire as he practices pjgkkjsghd
mm this scene is good
OH also. eternal bounce looping gif because mmgh that animation is good
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that animation of gray adjusting the slides where he goes in like. an arc in reverse. good shit
carmen is so not normal about the electric fields i love her. i get you're supposed to be dancing but girlie just run and jump its ok
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even more bouncy because i cant be stopped
I LOVE HOW BOUNCY SHE IS. LOST IN THE SAUCE (the sauce is tchaikovsky)
a nearly electrifying performance is the best way to tell your best friend you didnt just die in a really horrible way
honestly the quip about sheep is a pretty good one. neal is SO COOL his fight scenes are really fun. takes a lot of ingenuity for our mains to outdo him
also his score is SOOO COOL its like. its slithery idk how to explain it
HAHAHA SHE PROTECTED THE FACE AND HE WENT FOR HER LEGS
i love how she was just like "nah fuck this" and ran the other way
HIS "OUGH" WHEN SHE TRIES TO KICK HIM IN THE FACE DHGDJHGKD. WASNT EXPECTING THAT ONE I GUESS
she goes down really hard a couple times fighting him. you can hear after he mule kicks her against the wall that it hurt
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carmen's signature move, the titty twister
that "slick" line has become a line i just repeat with the same inflection like five times a day wugewghdh
player's kiwi went a little irish there
why did he go out the back door looking for carmen if the rest of the "theater" was supposed to be the other way 😭
oh okay nevermind he's just. he just doesn't listen
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gremlin bellum appreciation
gray is literally the luckiest motherfucker alive please
didnt carmen lock the door behind her also??? im so confused how did he get in
"carmen?" "sandiego" (clapping noise from the intro)
the little confused noise gray makes pls its so funny
also love how his first question is "what kind of concert hall is this" and not "why are we sprinting down a hallway"
THATS THE NIGHT THAT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN AUCKLAND (sick guitar) THATS THE NIGHT THAT THEY H wait a minute
so hot i love her
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kill, my queen
WILHELM SCREAM!
i love the disgust and annoyance that immediately overtakes her face when neal shows up again
are we ever going to talk about how neal was trying to snap her neck or no
no? okay
it would have been really funny if that crackle rod was set to lethal
i love how she says "zackivy" as one cohesive unit
pls carmen looks so short next to cracker
sharon muthu is such a queen
love also how carmen is more concerned about gray recognizing the voice than bellum threatening to take out auckland. yes girl priorities
fantastic shot of her grinning and then getting all smirky about it. she's so hot. again
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michael put his whole pussy into that scream/crikey
"it won't blow up in our faces will it?" "um just. stick your hands in there okay"
i love when cs uses "bad" colors like the red flashing warning light to indicate goodness like carmen winning
the crikeys are killing me
THE TRIPLE SHOT OF THE TRIPWIRE PROJECT BLOWING UP IS SO ICONIC
i love neal going from horrified at the explosion to looking at bellum like. what did you just say
crying over how carmen just looks at him with no expression on her face after he makes a kiwi joke
and now a series titled "OW!"
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thank you
also carmen does a WHOLE FLIP when she crashes (not doing photos because its hard to see) but she goes down on her neck, does a flip, and then slides in on her stomach
wow! good thing carmen is okay after crash landing in the woods due to something going wrong with a glider flight. im sure that won't happen again, and even if it did I'm sure the consequences couldn't be that terrible!
it would have been funny if he had died on impact im just saying
maybe he did and the power of carmen saying the wrong name brought him back
if the copyright wouldnt blow them to hell and back im a thousand percent certain they would have had crackle ask if carmen was like james bond
carmen: ill explain over that coffee also carmen: explains nothing
wow look the line that jumpstarted me writing fanfiction. my first fic was a red crackle fic based off of this scene/the afterscene of acme looking at the cameras and speculations of gray joining acme. guilty ✋
carmen vaporizing on the spot and leaving graham with thousands of dollars is a vibe
yeah vile didnt lay eyes him. yep
ALRIGHT FUCK YES IM CAUGHT UP WITH CS WEEKLY!! STOCKHOLM HERE I FUCKING COME ON TIME YES BITCH MY FAVORITE EPISODE
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stormy-blossom · 7 months
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Guess who decided to update Erisu's reference because she hated the old art!
In all seriousness it was because I've updated her design a bit since I made that old one, bangs and eyes more specifically. I also decided to add some new doodles to the side.
Ive made it kind of obvious recently, yeah I'm shipping her and Volo, have been for a while but I'm a little embarrassed to share stuff like that... I've decided to call it: Ancestral tale shipping so I'll use that to tag anything I make with them if you're interested :)
Just gonna post the extra info from her old reference here:
She joined the Galaxy Team a few years ago, as she is in her early twenties by the start of the PLA events. She is sort of a... weird older sister figure, she will poke fun at you as siblings do, but she'll also beat up anyone who insults you.
Her father was banished from the village when she was much younger after a Pokemon he had caused severe damage, and he refused to release it. She doesn't know if he's alive or not, but she has a feeling he isn't. Because of this she had a very close relationship with her mother.
She dyes the tips of her hair blue because it was the same color as her father's, she does it in sort of memory of him.
At the beginning of the game she'd only have a Quilava (a gift from her father) but later picks up a Petilil and Zoura.
She's known Volo since he first started visiting the village with the guild when they were both younger. She would talk to him whenever she knew he was there. She considers him a good friend and really enjoys listening to him go off on tangents about Hisuian history.
Now speaking of Volo, he's the one who gives her the Sunstone to evolve her Petilil into Liligant.
She's a bit resentful towards Kamado since her father was banished but gets along rather well with the rest of the Galaxy Team.
She also sees Laventon as a bit of a father figure, so she likes to joke that she, MC, Akari/Rei, and Cyllene are a family.
She'd end up standing up for the M/C when they get banished, ending up with her also having the same fate.
Quick thing about El, she's my Sinnoh protagonist and as said Erisu is her ancestor.
I just think shes neat, originally she was going to act as MC before I found out they got isekai'd, so I decided she would be my mc and I would just rewrite the story a little. But then I actually played the game and created my own character so now I have a story with my protagonist and the kind of abandoned AU where Erisu is the protagonist.
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ladymariayuri · 11 months
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oh if ur still doin this: 8, 5, and 1
im just gonnna do this for whatever i can think of first bc ive been answering asks based on what the person asking likes and you are one of my least Privy To My Video Games pilled mutuals but i love you okay enjoy the rants common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about coming in hot with a dmc opinion but i think everybody who flanderizes vergil into this selfish cunt who acts the way he does out of spite needs to let me hit them in the face with hammers. i literally love vergil so dearly and it pains me to see everybody reduce such an interesting dude into POWER XD DEADBEAT DAD XD. like you guys know that his obsession with gaining strength and almost every single step he has taken is because he never wants to feel as scared and small and powerless as he was when his mother died and he thinks his mother abandoned him to save dante but she didnt she died trying to save him and now he hates (hated) his brother because of it. everything in his entire life stemmed from the day their mother died and it grew into an almost fanatic obsession because he never wants to be that fucking helpless again. not to like say he did nothing wrong obviously or hes a poor little meow meow, hes anything but a poor little meow meow but vergil get behind me i will protect you from the redditors. also the deadbeat dad joke is overdone and boring. dude gets laid (somehow) after being in the torture nexus for god knows how many years, he DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE HAD A SON UNTIL DMC5 AFTER RIPPING NEROS ARM OFF. and anyway fuck all of you he gave nero his stupid corny poetry book when he left for hell and theres a menu screen background of nero and vergil chilling at the table and vergil is awkward because he doesnt know how to talk to his son but theyre just vibing okay. sniffles. sorry for going on a rant about vergil devil may cry are you mad at me worst discord server and why
im not really in any tumblrina discords or what you would consider "fandom" discords i pretty much only strictly use it to talk to like my overwatch friends. im in a lot of servers but its only like hub servers for information about stuff that i would want access to, not really community servers. with that being said, and i just commented this under a mutuals post, but the demon hunter class discord for wow is a god forsaken nuclear wasteland full of edgelords and misogynists and its so painful bc im just there to learn how to press buttons better the character everyone gets wrong raiden metal gear. sylvanas wow. wrathion wow. d.va overwatch. VERGIL DEVIL MAY CRY. dante devil may cry. trish dev- you get the point. maria/doll bloodborne is my most beloved but surprisingly ive found that like a majority of the fanbase is like sane/normal about her. its a nice breath of fresh air
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