#i havent told them either

[canonkiller]

do you consider your self made?

#my art #self portrait of sorts #been musing a lot on disability recently and how being relatively freshly unable to do Most Things has changed my perspective on things #for a long time growing up i was fixated on the idea of being An Impact On The World yknow? mainly the next Big Writer #(and that it would be sooo impressive that everyone would make my books bestsellers when i was only 12 because it was That Good) #and i mean. obviously that didnt work out as originally planned because i was 12 and learning. but I've felt a lot like #I've kind of built my sense of self on those big achievements. even if they were only big to me. and a lot of them #are now out of reach or very difficult to reach. and it's been a lot to. recontextualize #to take what ive been told my whole life and ignore it in favor of just being being enough. #things will happen as they happen. i havent earned anything by suffering but it hasnt ended the world either #im here doing what i Can do for as long as I'm able to do it. and thats all i need to be for now #just making sure that i Do do the things i can do rather than assume i can do them later #anyways. love you #cw: #top nudity #artistic nudity #the dreaded ambiguously presenting nipple #if you put any pro weight loss eating disorder shit on here ill kill you btw #my body is sexy because im in it and im still alive. not because its struggling to stay that way #lindwormposting

[profictionoverhaul]

Non-controversial take.

I don't get involved in discourse much, but if I go onto your account and see you reblogging a lot of stuff from an account and that account has some shit like "xxxxx people should die <3" right in their bio/pinned, I'm going to block you without hesitation. Because like, you can clearly see it right there when you click on their account, meaning you're okay with that sort of stuff? And I don't vibe with that.

Telling anyone to die or insinuating they should off themselves/be killed, I do not vibe with that energy. I don't want you interacting with my stuff if you agree with that sort of awful behavior, even if you yourself aren't doing it, supporting people who actually do it is virtually the same in my eyes and I will not unblock you either.

#personally i just wont support people who say other people online should die- especially over fiction #im not a proshipper or anything so i better not see some bitchass antis going (wah wah the adult thinks harassing people is bad!) #i just dont answer asks with bad energy anymore because i dont care #if i can block a super good artist bevause they told a bunch of csa survivors to kill themselves - so can you #why would you want to associate your blog with that terrible of a person anyway? #theres several popular Ingo and Emmet artists who have shit like prominently displayed on this acc #and you know what i did? blocked them and never interacted #and i havent missed seeing their content either! because all their content is stained with that atrocious sentiment #again not a proshipper- im more ship-neutral (though i am profic!) so the death wishes technically werent even against me #but i can tell when someone would turn on me in a insant over fiction- and its that type of terrible person #pro ship blog #pro ship safe #pro shipping #anti anti #anti antis #proship #discourse #anti censorship #pro fiction #profic safe #god damn this is a lot of tags #bye

[violasmirabiles]

... im not officially out as nonbinary to my family but also the closet doors are wide open and my brother follows me on instagram and. hes viewed my ig stories where i talk about being nonbinary, like on multiple occasions, including yesterday when i pretty explicitly said that That Is What I Am, but. hes never said anything about that to me ever and im sure as hell not going to bring it up. and now he and his fiancee came over and the uncertainty is so bad but being the first to bring it up?? the vulnerability?? the AWKWARDNESS?? would be worse.

#its not that i dont think he can be normal about it hes a good guy #and one of his fiancees siblings is trans so i think itd be ok #i just think he doesnt want to bring it up any more than i do because potentially awkward conversation which like. valid. and same #and also just cos. obviously i havent told my parents so makes sense he wouldnt just bring it up in front of them & put me on the spot #but like he hasnt texted me about it either or anything. which. also. we dont really text beyond like 'whats the netflix password' #so it wouldnt really be much easier than talking face to face lol #also my brains making it a Problem that im not binary trans like the aforementioned fiancees sibling #and no way in fuck am i gonna just. text him and ask if thats true. if it isnt ill think im making a scene. if it is... well. thatd be worse #my brains already making everything seem worse than it is when it comes to us #hes doing so well and im like. the (i hope) lovable fuckup

[caffeinatedopossum]

Events of last night:

Me: *crying*

My girlfriend: what's wrong?? :(

Me: *struggling to form words* intrusive thoughts are bad... I don't want to talk about them because then I'm scared that they're true and you might think I'm awful

My girlfriend: ah I actually get that. I have those a lot. It doesn't mean anything though, intrusive thoughts are just like dreams. Like the things you do in them aren't really things you want to do, it's just stuff your brain comes up with.

#we then very heavily related over having the same intrusive thoughts and now I'm suspicious #thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt #and starting to feel like thats because... what if we both have ocd #it seems like she was basing her entire knowledge of conditions on people shes known with those conditions. which makes sense #but the person/ people with ocd had severe cleaning compulsions and the like #where as me and her obsess much more over morality #like its very clear we think about it so much. and idk what to do with that information #we both feel like the intrusive thoughts and obsessive ruminating are the only things that keep is from being bad people #or that prevent us from being bad people i guess. idk why that wording is just slightly more accurate #like people who dont think about these things (apparently all 'normal' people since this could be *an actual disorder*) #they're not constantly analyzing. trying to be aware. asking themselves questions about their true nature. judging those answers #theyre not really doing that with other people either. of course i could be wrong since im very clearly not a normal person. #but this is what i mean! im speculating about other people and acknowledging the ways i could be wrong and just trying to figure it all out #but it seems like no one does that and it doesnt *make them* bad people. it just doesn't prevent them from that happening either #like theyre just as likely to hurt people as the 'bad' person thats thinking the same way they are #and i cant ever be comfortable with me living that reality even when *this reality* is a waking nightmare #sure im tearing my skin off (good ole skin picking disorder) when im thinking about these things. sure im crying. sure i can't sleep. #sure it makes me feel like im constantly a horrible person and need to attone for everything ive done and havent done #sure. but then i turn around and say its helping me. because why else would my brain torture me? isnt it always about protecting me? #i don't know. all i know is who i dont want to be and what i dont want. so that exactly what my brain convinces me is real #i guess what it kinda comes to do is #would you rather live a reality where everything around you is superficial. your thoughts behaviors and thoughts. your reactions #all of them are things youre never aware of. you could be hurting people or you could be helping themm #you could even be hurting yourself. but you would never know. its a comfortable reality that youre never really aware of #OR would you rather live a reality aware of all those things. seeking answers and sometimes finding them. #trying your hardest to help others and better yourself and fix the broken things in this world #your reality is one where you recognize every threat that no one else does and it kills you inside because they wont always listen #theyre comfortable and you're stuck in a reality where you try and try and try but even when you succeed #your brain forms its own reality. a metaphorical jail. where you never get to experience the reality you fought so hard for #instead you exist in this sort of purgatory where you live out your own worst fears and the worst ways you could have failed

[starheirxero]

what are some major events that happened in your lord eclipse au? and do ones similar to canon like old moon sending him a wither storm go differently?

is there special events that eclipse, Sun, or that one of the followers made around him? does he have activities he likes to do in general?

OH MAN. I'm gunna be honest, I'm actually not entirely sure about the first question?? The timeline/canon I have is very loose and changes from scenario to scenario, but I suppose a few events that are pretty consistent are "The Centipede-ening", Eclipse's fall from grace (isolation from his followers due to boredom) with unwavering loyalty happening somewhere around that time period, Moon n Lunar show up... and then i Guess they release the wither storm?? Though, I do like to replace the wither storm with something that isn't. The Minecraft Story Mode Wither Storm LMAOSJWLDK

After that, though, I usually divide into two different outcomes from there and either go "Sunvant dies and slowly heals in the afterlife with his Moon, Lunar, and Bloodmoon" or "Moon and Lunar takes Sunvant back home with them and he slowly heals in the main tsams universe." Both are varying levels of angsty and bittersweet so he has to endure Healing Horrors no matter what LMAO

ALSO YES ‼️ I actually started making a small list of events/important days for Lord Eclipse's world (before getting distracted so there's only one date on it LMAO 😭) but I imagine that some days were sort of... pre-installed?? by Eclipse, like his primary day of worship (which is June 1st bc that's when he first started existing!), but some events may be entirely made by the rest of the followers! I just. dunno what those events would be yet LOL. I could also absolutely see Sun making his own personal special days that revolve around Lord Eclipse just so he feels like he's especially faithful tbh!

#asks #anon #lord eclipse au #I HOPE THIS SUFFICES LOL 😭 #there's several more ideas i have that are either just... too small to mention or i'm just unsure if i actually wanna implement it #like monty saying something to sun that he—as sunvant—havent ever told monty and he's like #what? why do you know that about me? #and monty's like ah. uhm. just... forget i ever said anything. #sun asking lord eclipse if he'd ever get his own stained glass window someday—'you know. since you've appointed me as your servant?' #and lord eclipse immediately shuts down the idea with a guilt trippy 'why would you want such a thing? you'd take attention away from me.- #-do you want to make people forget who they're supposed to be worshipping here?' #OH OH #IVE ALSO THOUGHT ABT THE IDEA OF THERE BEING A GROUP OF DISSENTERS THAT WANT TO DETHRONE LORD ECLIPSE AND SUN ENDS UP JOINING THEM SOMEHOW #i have never thought of a single good ending for that idea tho LMAOOO 😭 #it always ends with Sun cowering under the furious gaze of Eclipse while surrounded by the bodies of all the people who had been involved #POINT IS: THERE'S SEVERAL THINGS I ENTERTAIN THAT I DONT RLLY TALK ABT BC. SHRIG #MY OWN SELF INDULGENCE COMES FIRST WITH THIS AU I WONT EVEN LIE SORRYSJSHSJFN #centiclipse #sunvant

[timeisacephalopod]

I've kinda seen some pushback to the idea of representation in media and I don't necessarily think it's bad to point out actual rights are more important than Disney's thousandth first gay character that's fine, but I've had a LOT of people comment on my works about asexual characters and tell me what I wrote changed their life-and it's always that phrase- because they now have the language to describe what they feel. I've had people who ARENT ace or aro comment that what I wrote finally made a concept they didn't understand make sense, or that the way I explained things was interesting and enlightening and I'm kind of a mediocre writer who hasn't written anything in ages.

Like idk, if reading something from a writer who is fucking around and only somewhat talented can genuinely impact someone because they've not seen anything like them reflected back at them in life or media I don't think pushing for representation in media is as "needless" as some people seem to think and caring about that doesn't mean you don't care about more "important" (although if you think seeing people like you in media ISNT important it's because you already have that representation or are privileged enough to not care if you do, in which case maybe pipe down) stuff. Hell, I even got a Facebook message ages ago from someone who found a comment I left in an ace group about QPR's and what they meant to me and how I perceived them and the person no joke said what I wrote two years before they even found it changed their life forever because they finally knew what kind of relationship they actually wanted.

So like sure, of course there's always bigger fish to fry them diversity in media (you know, like diversity in real life lol) but I don't think it's as frivolous as some people are beginning to act like it is. At least not if you're an aspec person it's not, I STILL don't see ace characters almost ever and I'll bet my whole everything if I asked a writer of a show why they'd tell me that EVERYONE has to be in a sexual relationship and characters that aren't won't sell and are boring- I say this because in film school I had a teacher TELL ME every character needed to basically be sex obsessed and when I pointed out a GREAT MANY CHARACTERS are not revolved around sex (Supernatural stars two brothers, I pointed out) and when she asked if I had love interests I was like ??? That doesn't matter- using my aforementioned supernatural example almost all their love interests die or get mind wiped because at the end of the day that's not what the story was about. So actually I think writers who act like that teacher need like 50 reality checks, and representation in stories isn't unimportant and also support indie writers you'll probably find more funky shit there then Disney anyway lmao.

And also even the asexual characters I DO see in media don't remind me at all of myself even if I appreciate the effort, but they never feel real or genuine and their sexuality doesn't get a lot of exploration so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I actually could use more media focused on characters that I can genuinely see my sexuality reflected in in a meaningful and narratively impactful way because I've got nothing.

#winters ramblings #todd from bojack horseman im sure is SOMEONES version of asexuality but i dont see ANYTHING of myself in him #great character dont get me wrong but not relatable to me on any level including our shared sexuality #sex ed got a bit closer with their brief ace character although maybe she got more exploration in season three or four?? #the latest one i havent watched lmao. but being closer and having a moment wjere shes told shes not broken #while DEEPLY vindicating isnt necessarily all im looking for either #like i wamt a REAL character thats ace or aro or both thats written by people who UNDERSTAND what theyre writting #not just well meaning people who dont know what theyre doing its kind of tiring #also idk why theres no dating shows with gay men because reality dating shows are ALL ABOUT who fucks who and who gets together #gay men would be hooking up ALL OVER THE PLACE and the DRAMA youd think reality tv freaks would be SALIVATING #but no none of that lmao. just ru pauls drag race and thats great it is like its not my bag but people love it #back on yrack though the weord blowback representation is getting is strange and its VERY clear to me #the people writing those posts havent gotten dozens on dozens of messages from people like them who found their writing #and haf their life altered forever for the better because someone who KNOWS what theyre talking about wrote a character like them #and it opened doors they never knew existed. doesnt even need to happen with fiction either i had a friend i had in toronto #tell me the info i sent to her on being aromantic changed her life- THAT'S the phrase i keep getting thats TELLING- because it describefld #described** how shes felt her whole life but didnt have words for. how frivolous IS representation if im getting these messages? #not very i dont think if some rsndom indie fic writer who hadnt written anything substantial in years can change someones life #REPEATEDLY might i add. ive been getting a LOT of messages like this lately and seeing this new bramd of discourse latetly too #like maybe YALL have enough that you dont care anymore but speak for your fucking selves

[jay-catsby]

lads i dont think im getting this job

#i just feel like if i was the chosen candidate i would have heard from them already. #bc supposedly they need to fill the position by the 5th #and we're only a few hours from close of business on the 2nd! #if they thought i would need time to negotiate (i wont) i feel like they would have made an initial offer already #so at this point it's like. either A) they picked someone else and just havent told the rejects yet or B) they're flopping (possible) #or C) they intuited that i would accept immediately with no negotiation and so they can wait until the last minute to make me an offer

[wvrlock]

ooc

#i keep thinking of my heckna campaign (it's always on my mind and has been for over two years yeah) #but ummmm yeah my players can never find a day to play #i love that campaign i love playing it with them but it's a bit exhausting being the only person trying #there's one of my players who joined recently and was a spectator until very recently who's responsible #but aside from that im the one chasing after them always #and im... well #im attached to them as players and do have fun witb them but truth be told I don't really consider them friends anymore #they did some questionable things to a mutual friend #and i told them i wanted to talk about it because it upset me but that wouldnt change our relationship #because they had done nothing to me personally #but we never got to talk. in fact we havent seen each other in person for almost a year #when they know im unemployed and frankly free on most days #they never text me first either and we only talk about rp-related stuff #which doesn't really hurt anymore? they aren't my friends but they're my players and im okay with thar #but now... yeah they're kinda elusive as players as well #i know if i go and tell them i want to drop our campaigns i will lose them for good. there is nothing between us anymore #that does sadden me a little because they aren't bad people and i have loved them so so much #but... yeah they didn't make any efforts as friends and now they don't do it as players either #i think i could be able to put together a new table to be honest #because i do want to run heckna. it is a campaign that means so so so much to me #and... well i can live without dragon heist i suppose? i was really invested in my player's dynamics #and relationships with npcs #and i was SO excited to see it develop... but i don't think that's gonna happen in... idk years? #im just... thinking. #i could be my 'game day' to. you know. actually play something #ooc #negativity cw

[catboy-kakashi]

Noticing a pattern in your behavior that may be a sign of something much larger but instead of trying to analyze that you just quickly put the lid back on the oil fire and walk away

#i have some. problems. when it comes to food #i wouldnt call it like a disorder by any means #i feel like that would be trivializing what people with EDs go through #but uh. well i have been at someone else’s house petsitting and i’ve barely eaten anything besides the bag of veggie chips i brought #and im starting to think. maybe. i need to assess my issues with feeling like im allowed to eat or take food thats offered to me #without being explicitly handed the food and being told its for me #haha uhhhh. haha. anyway. i think i’ll cope with this by projecting onto fictional characters and then never self reflecting #​ camtankerous is whining #like they straight up SAID ‘theres leftover in the fridge! feel free to eat those!’ #but because they said that and not ‘thats for you!’ my brain says ‘theyll eat that if i dont. i should leave it for them. its not for me’ #like idk. like i dont DESERVE to eat someone elses leftovers??? thats so fucking SAD. that makes me sound like a stray dog or something #i havent had coffee for several days either bc asking how their coffee machine worked felt like admitting i was planning on taking #their coffee and like. maybe im not allowed to have coffee! thats THEIR fancy coffee #i newrly slept on the fucking couch instead of one of the TWO guest beds they told me i could use. whats wrong with me #negative #vent #sorry i just. ive been really stressed out the last few days and i needed to get this out #i straight up dont know where this behavior comes from. its not like my parents were abusive or didnt let me have food?? #its like im afraid to let myself enjoy things. who the fuck do i think is going to come and take it away or yell at me. #HAHA wow thats a wall of text huh. i should probably go to therapy! #if youre still reading this do not look upon my wretched form. i dont want you to think less of me for this

[jinkies]

its been almost a week since i was told i had a job and put in an application for an apartment and i havent received confirmation on either one of these things. my lease on the place im currently living in ends dec 31st. i am so so so stressed

#originals #text #i know that the holidays are part of the week that weve been waiting #christmas specifically #but #they both told me they would get back to me by today at the latest and i havent heard from either of them #so #i am mad and stressed

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

fucj fuck fuckety fuck

#goddAMNIT why did i have to name myself after an estranged family member #i dont even know himmmbbbb but we have to attend a funeral and hes gonna b there #and idk if my moms gonna be a bitch and tell him i NAMED MYSELF AFTER HIM #i don't even like the name anymore but i havent told her im changing it again bc she didnt respect the first one so whats the point #but now im caught btwn a rock and a hard place either i ADMIT i naamed myself after him and theyre all awww #and then it makes it even harder to go no contact later bc they feel entitled to a presence in my life #or i tell him NO which hurts his feelings is incredibly awkward and turns down potentially the ONE TIME MY MOM DOESNT DEADNAME ME #AND i have to either ask to be deadnamed which id rather kms than do. or tell them my actual new name which my mom. doesnt know #most likely scenario she isnt gonna say anything and im just gonna be relentlessly deadnamed #i just. wont b able to do anything about it bc its HIS NAME #god what was i THINKING #plus its a fucking funeral so theyre gonna want me to wear a dress. and i dont. have decent formal menswear so i cant even say no #FUCK fucking hell #i love being trans i really do but this shit. this shit sucks #finnposting #tag vent #personal

[caffeinatedopossum]

It's kind of jarring to be reminded that everyone around me has always had more than me (aside from a select few). Like I just forget until it comes down to something mundane like buying shoes and I don't know my shoe size because for most of my life I've had one pair of shoes that I wear until they break. And it was usually something someone either got me as a gift (horrified that my shoes were wearing out. As if thats not what shoes do when you wear them) or they were passed down and I grew into them.

Like that's just normal for me. It doesn't bother me either, this isn't a pity party. It's just surreal that it bothers other people sometimes

#i don't really feel like ive been that poor either #most of the things i needed and didnt get were things me/my family could have afforded but refused to #i figured 'if I'd rather save up my money to get some new coloring books than to buy some new shoes i probably dont need them that bad' #maybe those are decisions they havent had to make #i cant be jealous because i cant imagine what thats like #i simply cant imagine it #oof now im remembering the only time i actually had to ask for new shoes and i didnt #i was growing out of my shoes and getting blisters from it but i kept putting off getting new shoes #because idk i guess it just didnt bother me that much until it started to hurt really bad #and i didnt want to ask my mom for anything either because yeah #she was the type of parent you dont ask for things from #eventually someone else noticed and said something along the lines of 'if you dont get him new shoes then i will' to my mom #and then she got mad that i didnt tell her? #it was all so confusing to me then but i understand why now. she just wanted to hide the neglect. she didnt really care about anything else #its why everything was fine and she never thought i needed anything until someone else said something about it #even with my eating disorder... she knew what i was doing but she didnt interfere until someone else told her i looked sick #but that wasnt until years after the problem started. funny how that works isnt it

[perenlop]

supposed to write more of my screenplay but having a “i hate everything ive ever written” moment

#its a different take on natch and wisp's characters and i Do Not like it #it focuses on a part of natch's arc thats supposed to be resolved very quickly #and it ends different and its like. wisp's most negative tendencies taken to their extremes #but i havent gotten into that ive just gotten into the heavier stuff and while i like to delve into heartbreaking realistic stuff #i just feel like. such a freak for writing it bc its depressing. its necessary to make u root for natch to get out of her horrible environme #and theres purpose to the actions either characters take but its just. augh it feels excessive and like im so worried itll give the impressi #impression that i enjoyed it or wanted to put in harsh stuff #classmates have told me its fine so ik its not that bad but like man i wanna rip it apart #heavily prefer their high fantasy furry counterparts where their story is still really heavy but not as focused on that #the soul link thing is gone from them in this draft bc i thought itd be way too confusing to explain in a screenplay outside a video game #or webcomic #which is what i conceptualized these two for #echoed voice

[dilfian]

happy no stabbing wednesday!

#xoxo #i have. . .a cough. #sitting here at 5a debating going into work or not. just in case. #i work tmrw/fri 8hrs and sat with 6hrs. #on the other hand if i put off going into work then i risk having hrs build up again. . .oh well. . . #but i HAVE to work tmrw bc houseplant delivery so i'd rather. . .rather do that. hm. #2 8hrs and a 6hr isnt so bad.. . #i havent slept well either. mm. #i just did a few things that would get me out the door. . .id rather just take today off and ensure a day off. #also if i work 2 8hrs it means i get to sit and talk to j. soo yeah i think im going to. and also b wont be alone on fri. #ugh i told like 5 ppl id see them today LOL oh well. #all i have is to pull clearance anyways #and theyre not really listening abt frost cloth lol #ok yeah im. . .going to grab some warm tea and go back to lay in bed. #ooh hey this means i can water plants and figure out what to do with my new babies. .

[ghosty1111]

i chickened out on giving someone my tumblr at a party a couple days ago. mostly bc i felt super self concious on letting them know the 'weirder' shit about me. sometimes i still get that for my current irl followers. i think its bc online you dont have an actual tie to them, all you are as a person is what you show, and theres little room to make personal interpretation. when irl, youre speaking and making actions, and someone knows you. while online, nobodys ever met you before, theres no expectations youll ever or even continue to interact, youre just observing them.

#its a different type of entertainment if this makes any sense at all #physical entertainment of mutually interacting with someone as a person is different from just percieving hand picked parts of a soul #internet is just soul. #yet still i have other accounts(one open and one private) where i keep my secrets #it makes me wonder if its the irl connections holding me back from openly changing or if i'd be the same either way #when someone sees things online you havent told them theyll see you differently when you next meet irl #when someone follows you online you control when they see/know those things #and if someone irl newly follows you they now have access to all of that right away before i've assessed if i want them knowing that info #most of the time im just convinced thst they wont like those parts of me #but that comes from not trusting them enough yet to be able to figure that out before i let them know #vent

[corvidcall]

i saw a good post abt how fatphobia comes up in fat peoples sex/dating lives (which I'll probably reblog later, when i have time to add stuff to the tags) but hooooooh boy it did dredge up some stuff for me!!! and now im upset!!!!

#anime life #ive been fat my whole life and it's!!! its been rough!!!!!! #its been traumatic!!!!! #and the fact that it really feels like no one has ever truly desired me and nobody ever will is. ugh. #i wish it werent part of it bc it feels soooo pathetic #and when ive asked ppl for advice about it what ive gotten in response has been almost insulting #thin ppl spending a lot of time telling me how bad they feel for me. how sad hearing about my personal life made them. #a lot of 'have you tried dating a fat fetishist?' #which like. 1. no they dont want me either 2. theres a good chunk of ppl who fetishize fat bodies but still hate fat people #and 3. idk do other marginalized people get that advice?? that actually they should try dating chasers?? #i feel like i havent seen it #or i get told i should try dating fat men. like i wouldnt if given the chance???? #i love fat men. they just also. historically. dont like me #ive known a lot of fat men who view dating a fat woman (or whatever i am) as disgusting and demeaning!!! at best its 'settling'!!! #god. one bit of advice i got was i should try dating nerdy guys. incredible #once again: they don't want me either!!!!! im TOO nerdy to the point it's off-putting!!!! #YES im a nerd. NO i dont watch mcu stuff. or dcu. or lotr. or star wars. or got. i dont like any of the big things #my main fandom was and always will be a 12 year old free browser game #im wildly unrelatable and i hate most really big tentpole nerd properties. except dnd that ones ok. but ive also written ttrpgs so like. #idk i think im disqualified from being the nerdy gf* people would actually want lol #anyway. its not a big deal i guess #just the kind of advice that makes you feel even more hopeless. #when i think abt it i cant help but laugh..bc i mean. what else can i do lol