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#i love how hurt they are for a hashtag
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willingly unloved
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gatoraid · 7 months
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Doesn’t it drive you crazy how in She Who Became the Sun we see, for a split of a second, this version of Ouyang who has almost forgotten about his revenge, who has learned to enjoy the simple pleasures of the life he can have at Esen’s side when they’re on campaign, wanting to keep on living like that as long as he can
And how in He Who Drowned the World, we can see, just for the tiniest moment, the possibility for Ouyang to find even some sort of kinship and kindness by Zhu and Xu Da’s side
AND THEN HE JUST PROCEEDS TO THROW ALL THAT AWAY
EVERY SINGLE TIME
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qtubbo · 7 months
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Guys I love how this fandom constantly have different standards for tubbo in literally every circumstance and always take his actions as selfish and or malicious. I love how it always sounds incredibly ableist 💖 I appreciate that so much.
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cosmics-beings · 6 months
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i feel enough time has passed but i wanna discuss my negative thoughts on the tf es starscream episode but I'm too scared
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lord the way i can write in circles about Alear and the visceral experience of [redacted]
(or, the wordbarf of “I am very unhinged about Alear how dare you assume im normal” ft. copious spoilers for like. chp 21 onward because I need tumblr to know I’ve already said most of this on twitter to some extent)
he finally got to experience love and how he finally started recovering from his trauma and how he was at his desperate, frantic wit’s end probably when he first struck sombron down how he probably felt cornered and would rather risk his life and everything else to simply be free of his father how he went in without an emblem and all alone and likely not telling Lumera the full plan probably terrified if he would come out alive 1v1-ing sombron with nothing but fuck it he would rather fight for a chance to live in peace than wait for his dad to find out how “defective” he is and dispose of him like so many siblings and lumera was probably going to stop him because it’s crazy it’s stupid it’s risky it’s not worth it she loves him and promises one day it will end don’t be rash and please hold on but!!!!!! god damn does someone have to try and he is tired of waiting for the chance to get better he cannot fucking take it anymore!!!!! he can’t sit there and wait and worry and be strong he has a sister out there who is at risk every second they carry on their little hidden charade! 
How PAINFUL it is to finally receive kindness and be forced to realize all these scars and all these days spent walking on eggshells is for NOTHING for even what had been kindness before pales in comparison how WOUNDED to realize how damaged you are simply trying to survive and how unfair it all must feel when kindness and love was simply that easy to choose and yet knowing your father would never, EVER be kind.
and contrary to having a gentle and honorable nature that only carried out sombron’s will to survive, coerced into such violence and desolation, the nature that is stilted and a thoughtless machine so he, too, does not join the ranks of failure, the nature that the hero king himself recalls as “You were kind, as you are now.”, despite that gentle, gentle core that somehow survived he has such malice for his father there is no mercy there is no kindness dare I say he- with only a little conflict and concern -relishes the opportunity to personally do his father in because after years of abuse and trauma there is finally catharsis and it pours from him like he is finally vomiting and coughing up the vile dregs of the poison in his system
finally hope that is so disgustingly blinding right in front of him and how he was SO CLOSE he was SO CLOSE to walking away from this he was sick and giddy and the thought that he was going to get away and be free and live happily with his mother and go find veyle and be SAFE and HAPPY FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE and then ITS JUST. TAKEN. IN A SINGLE MOMENT.
how even saying himself the war is over and they don’t have to worry still accepting that he’s a Fell Dragon this is just WHAT HAPPENS as if he is not sitting there dying, struggling to breathe, having just ended a war that nearly wiped out the Divine Dragons, no doubt caused terror across the land, HAVING DONE A GENUINELY OBJECTIVELY GOOD THING THAT HE HIMSELF RECOGNIZED and still saying that Fell Dragons die in the end. how he is no better than the father laying only feet away who treated his children like tools and only spoke his name once when he was born. Lumera says he’ll just sleep and he’ll wake up and it will be fine and how he so subtly doubts that and still speaks as if this is his last chance, simply speculating how, if he does wake up, he wants to be like her AS IF HE ISN’T ALREADY FOR. YOU KNOW. ENDING THE WAR AND SLAYING THE PROBLEM DRAGON.
the way i pull at my hair and scream at the top of my lungs over how AWFUL alear had it and how VINDICATING it is to see him grow and love and rage and scream and cry and find his own way anD KILL HIS OWN SHITTY DAD WITH A LASERBEAM OF LOVE AND ALL THE FRIENDS HE’S MADE AND GETS TO BE DRAGON JESUS HAPPILY EVER AFTER
#katie rambles#alear#fe 17#fe engage#fe17 spoilers#engage spoilers#spoilers#tw vomit#tw abuse#im sorry i get a little gross and visceral with the descriptions and metaphors if only because GOD THIS SITUATION SUCKED#I REMEMBERED TUMBLR HAS DECENT TAGGING WITHOUT COSTING SPACE#HAHAHAHAHA I CAN GO OFF WITHOUT FEARING ACCIDENTALLY SPOILING MY FRIENDS#ANYWAYS THIS IS LIKE. 90% OF MY ALEAR BRAINROT IM SO PROUD OF HIM AND SO WORRIED#like idk i think so much about That One Flashback#and i'm pretty sure the hashtag patricide moment was alear on his last fucking braincell going 'that's it im done im through'#because he knows how his father works and would anyone want to wait knowing death is coming when love and peace is right there.#right at his fingertips. so close. so god damn close it HURTS#so yeah i think alear was having the mental breakdown of the god damn century going after his dad alone#i think he felt very. VERY cornered in his options and went 'fuck it we ball'#because if most of his options involved waiting and risking death might as well take the risk#why wait to get called defective and fed to the corrupted and why keep crawling back for long. nice talks with the growing risk#i think it is an awful emotional barf of all his pain and fear and rage and glimmering above it all hope that he could reach out and take#a hope that is SO VERY CRUELLY TAKEN AT THE LAST GOD DAMN MOMENT#i'll admit a lot of my own interpretation in here but like AUGH.#Alear I love you alear alear best lord ever#i've always been thinking about this in some capacity since I learned i have not known rest going on 3 mnths
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dominimoonbeam · 1 year
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The Truth In Your Skin - 4
The Tattoo Shop AU! If you want to read it from the beginning it’s on ao3. The fourth chapter is below. The whole fic is heavy angst and hurt/comfort with some serious past domestic violence issues (Quinn. It’s Quinn. It’s always Quinn.)
Darlin/David. Sweetheart/Milo. Asher/?
tags: hurt/comfort, angst, learning to trust, scars, found family, past domestic violence, trauma, slow burn, tattoos, piercings
The Truth In Your Skin - 4
Darlin felt better than they had in a year. Longer even. It felt good to work, to be back in a shop surrounded by the hum of machines and music. The crew wasn’t bad, and no one touched their station.
No one asked them any questions they didn’t want to answer, either. They could have looked them up, could have found out on their own, but Darlin didn’t think they had. David knew what city they’d lived in before—where they’d worked. Would it be hard to find records of what had happened? Maybe. It wasn’t exactly newsworthy when someone like them got the shit kicked out of them, let alone by their partner. Ugly but not surprising. Right? That was what they’d been told. What did they expect?
They flicked their tongue against the inside of their lip, looking for the metal that wasn’t there.
Whether the others knew or not, they didn’t ask. Not even the guy that did the piercings, Milo. He’d taken one long look at Darlin’s lip scar before meeting their gaze again that first day and then pretended he didn’t know how that happened.
Darlin was grateful. The more time that passed, things settled into a new normal. It actually felt like they could move forward. They’d gone to that holiday party and it was nice.
Their station was across from David’s near the back of the main room. They caught him watching them work sometimes. Fair. It was his shop, after all. He’d have to make sure they weren’t doing a shit job.
Asher had the spot near the door. He was loud but never in a bad way. He only stopped talking when someone else did. His clients seemed to get a whole experience out of sitting in his chair, most loath to leave even when the work was done. And when his chair was empty, he’d come over and start talking up Darlin’s or David’s clients.
Through the archway, there were two more stations. Milo did the piercings and Sweetheart specialized in new school tattoos. They were still pretending not to be a couple.
The day was slow and well past lunch.
Asher flopped down in Darlin’s chair and stretched out until his tank top hiked up his stomach. “You busy?” he asked, hands under his mess of hair.
Darlin raised an eyebrow. They’d just cleaned their station. He knew it, because he had been in the same room all day. “Super busy,” they lied. They didn’t have anyone else lined up today. He knew that too because he handled the schedules in the mornings.
Asher had two thin rings in the side of his eyebrow, a bridge between his eyes, a stud under his bottom lip and another in his tongue. Somehow, he still pouted like a puppy. “I’m bored. Tattoo me?”
David snorted in the space across from them. He had a client laid out on their chest, shirt off and arms pillowed under their cheek. Their headphones were so loud they could almost hear the music over the beat of the shop speakers.
Darlin blinked at Asher. “Are you serious?”
Asher lit up. “Yeah!” He sat up and pulled his shirt off. He tossed it vaguely in the direction of his own chair, landing on the floor in the middle of the room instead. “Front or back?” He started searching himself for a spot.
Darlin pressed back a smile. “What do you want?”
Asher was still considering real estate. “Doesn’t matter. Anything that’s yours.”
Darlin might have doubted that and pressed for him to make a choice but looking at the assortment of random work on his body, they realized he meant it. He was a collector. They shrugged and started setting up.
“You don’t have to,” David reminded in a grumble.
Darlin nodded but put on the black gloves. “You sure you can sit still?” they asked Asher.
Asher laughed and stretched one arm up, hooking it under his head and offering them a patch of untattooed skin just under his ribs.
“Want to pick a color?” Darlin asked.
Asher settled in, his new position allowing him to watch David. “Nope. You pick.”
Darlin huffed but got to work, already forming an idea.
Asher didn’t squirm at all when the needle finally hit skin. He didn’t even miss a beat in conversation with David. Milo walked a client out and then came over to see what was going on. He turned his head to get a better look at the developing tattoo just as Darlin swiped away inky and blood. Milo smiled when he saw the round little bird in black lines that Darlin was currently adding a splash of neon yellow to. It would come out looking like watercolor stroked over a sketch.
The bell on the front door in the lobby chimed. “Got it,” Milo said, nodding and stepping back. He slid his hands into his pockets and walked to the reception.
“Almost done,” Darlin said.
Asher hadn’t looked yet. “You’re coming out with us after work, right?”
The shop was closed Sundays and Mondays and Asher liked to get everyone together on Saturday nights after locking up. Darlin had said no all the times before that holiday party and they’d bounced back and forth in their head since about what to do the next time. Go or don’t go? “Yeah. Sure.”
Asher beamed.
Darlin was just finishing up when the voices from the front room carried in, Milo leading a couple of people back with him. They were talking about a piercing. One of the two was taking the plunge and getting another one on impulse.
Darlin’s heart beat faster but they weren’t sure why at first—not until one of those voices pitched over the other to shout, “Holy shit! I remember you! From—”
Darlin had just put the needle down when the words struck them. The woman was talking to them. She remembered them. Her steps sounded impossibly loud as she came closer.
“Misfit!” she shouted the name she remembered.
Darlin winced. That wasn’t their name. It was just how he’d introduced them to people and it had stuck. “You’re not a Darlin. Anyone can see that.”
“Hell, I haven’t seen you in years!” She leaned against the back of the chair Asher was in.
Darlin’s brain felt like it was on overload, sounds and colors and light all coming in too fast and too hard.
“How have you been? What are you doing out here? Is Quinn here?” His name sounded like the thud of their forehead against the floor, a headache slicing through their temple. The woman looked around like he might be there in the shop, her smile huge and her teeth bright. Quinn’s teeth had been bright too, slick with red.
Darlin’s chest hurt and they fought the impulse to look around too, for one blinding second terrified that he might be there.
 -
 David had finished up with his client and started cleaning up his space. He had been sneaking peeks at Darlin’s work on Asher, not quite ready to process the pang of jealousy he felt. Maybe he just really wanted a tattoo from them too?
And then Milo returned with a couple of clients and everything changed. All of the ease that had built in Darlin vanished in a flash, their body went tight and their chin dropped to their chest. David was close enough and at an angle to see the way their eyes blanked out, like they’d fucking left their body.
“Back up,” Asher said, voice suddenly far from the light, humorous notes that usually filled the shop. He had sat up in his seat, physically putting himself between Darlin and the stranger.
The stranger jumped back, surprised. Offense warred with anger on her expression, gaze flicking between Asher and Darlin and then back to her friend standing with Milo.
Milo was quick to smooth things over, herding the two clients toward his station in the other room.
The woman went but spoke louder to make up for the distance.
“What the fuck is their problem? Do you think they broke up? It would explain what they’re doing here, but why be so dramatic about it?”
“Did you see their lip though? You don’t think Quinn did that do you?”
“No way. He’s so fucking hot. Why was he even with them? They probably just broke up.”
“Riley said Quinn was in jail…”
“Oh my god!”
Asher flicked his gaze between David and Darlin, asking without words what to do. Darlin was shaking, breaths tight like they were trying not to hyperventilate by taking in as little air as possible. They pushed themselves through the motions of putting away their equipment and taking out the gel and plastic wrap to finish Asher’s tattoo. Both men finally snapped, surging forward. Asher took the antibiotic gel and plastic wrap out of their hands and David gently caught their elbow, pulling them to their feet.
“I’ll clean up and close the shop when they’re done,” Asher said.
David steered Darlin toward the back door, grabbing their jackets off the wall on the way. They didn’t fight him at all and that was somehow just as worrying as the look on their face had been. He had never put hands on Darlin before, not in all the weeks they’d been working there. Darlin wasn’t touchy and he hadn’t missed how they always seemed to keep themselves out of arms reach if possible.
They almost tripped over their own boots when he guided them through the heavy door and out onto the sidewalk along the back of the building. He caught their side to keep them up and they jerked at that contact, like they were injured. It seemed to jar them back to life though, their breath deeper and their gaze flicking around the snow dusted parking lot. “Fuck,” they exhaled.
David handed them their jacket.
They looked at it, wincing before nodding and taking it. “I’ll come back for my shit on Tuesday…” They barely got the words out, voice raw.
“What?” David hadn’t known what to expect from them, but this was definitely not on his list.
Darlin pulled their jacket on, backpedaling a wobbly step away from him. Their head was still down, chin to their chest and hair in their face.
“You’re not fired,” David ground out, pulling his jacket on too but not taking his eyes off them in case their legs gave out. “You looked like you were about to have a panic attack.”
“Sorry,” Darlin muttered, swallowing hard.
David shook his head. He didn’t want an apology. They hadn’t done anything wrong. “You’re okay.”
They looked up at him, surprise so clear across their face. They straightened slowly, seeming to finally fully remember themselves again. “I’m sorry about that… I don’t know why I… It was unprofessional and—”
“Fuck that. And fuck them.”
Darlin blinked, shoulders easing down.
“You’re great at your art and you’re easy to work with. I’d have to be an idiot to fire you even if you’d told them where to shove their questions. You don’t owe them shit and you don’t owe us anything more than exactly what you give.”
Darlin stared, breath finally coming out in a long, easy exhale.
“You’re okay,” he said again. He wanted them to believe it, because fuck he wanted to make it true.
Darlin nodded slowly, like they were trying to.
They stood there together for a while on the cold sidewalk before David finally huffed a thin laugh. “You got me out of closing.”
Darlin smirked. “You’re welcome.”
David flicked his lip ring thoughtfully before asking. “Do you want to come up? We’ve got beer and we can order pizza when the rest of them are off.”
Darlin watched him, their gaze cutting toward the entrance to the apartments that were over the shops.
He’d invited them every weekend to whatever they were doing but Darlin had never taken this long to consider it. He hoped they didn’t think they were obligated. He’d meant it when he said they didn’t owe him anything but the good work they did.
Darlin nodded, hands in their pockets. “Yeah. Sounds good.”
David didn’t make a big deal of it, just nodded and led the way to the door. He’d text Asher when they were upstairs to let him know they were staying in tonight—so he could tell Milo and Sweetheart too.
 -
 It was the longest piercing of Milo’s life.
They were on their phones, looking up Darlin and this guy, Quinn. They exchanged an endless stream of information as they gathered it, pausing on occasion to turn big eyes to him and ask if he knew.
He hadn’t.
He had seen that scar on their lip and known something, but he hadn’t looked them up. None of them had. It wasn’t something they’d discussed or anything, it just hadn’t seemed right. If Darlin wanted to tell them what had happened, maybe they would someday.
But now he knew.
The details were spotty, a domestic violence charge. And then they’d talked to a friend of a friend who had more information…and photos. They groaned at the images and Milo tried not to see them. “They’re saying he actually pulled the ring out! Oh my god, look at those stitches! Why is their face swollen like that?”
Milo saw the photo. He didn’t mean to. Didn’t want to. Their face was swollen like that because someone had beat the shit out of them. There were stitches in their hairline too, and their cheek where another scar now lived.
If he hadn’t already done the piercing by that point, he would have kicked them out. He shouldn’t have brought them back at all after the way Darlin had looked. Was it a betrayal?
“I just can’t believe it. There are always two sides to a story. It’s not like Misfit is a sweetheart. It was probably complicated. Quinn was just so much fun. There’s no way.” His hands shook. He felt Sweetheart watching the whole time from their station across from him. They hadn’t said a word—hadn’t moved—but he felt their eyes on him all the time. It was grounding and comforting, but at the same time added to the mounting unrest.
He was relieved when he walked them back to the lobby and Darlin was gone. Asher was cleaning up their station—uncharacteristically quiet. Had he heard everything? How could he not?
Milo took payment and tip in a haze. He didn’t care if they underpaid. He didn’t care if they paid at all. He wanted them out.
As soon as the door closed, he rounded the counter and threw the lock, slapping the light switch for the front of the shop.
“Babe?” Asher asked, voice low with worry. “You okay?”
Milo wanted to laugh. Of course, he was okay. He wasn’t the one who had someone put them in the hospital. He dragged his hands through his hair and used one of the ties on his wrist to knot it. He nodded, jaw tight.
Asher looked like he understood, nodding back. “David took them outside. We’ll close up.” Asher’s phone plinged in his pocket and he reached down and pulled it out. He was still shirtless, his side shiny where he’d slicked it with gel and stretched plastic wrap over it. His expression lightened with surprised. “They’re upstairs.”
“What?”
“We’re doing beers and pizza at our place. Darlin’s hanging out too.”
Milo’s stomach twisted, thinking of that photo and the flood of gossip mixed with news.
“Want me to say you can’t come? I can make up a reason—” Asher offered.
“No,” Milo said just as quickly, shaking his head. “Fuck no.” He’d been hoping they could get Darlin out of their shell and hanging out with them. Did knowing change that? Absolutely not. And if he bailed, they might think it was with intent. He was already worried he’d crossed some line by working on that person.
He walked through the quiet studio, back to the room with his station. Sweetheart was still standing there, tattooed arms folded tightly against their chest and eyes on him—always on him. That stare was softer now, as soft as Sweetheart could get anyway. “Milo…”
He set his jaw and shook his head. He was fine. He had no right not to be fine. Nothing had fucking happened to him. He went to his station to clean up but then their hand was on his arm. He stopped.
“You’re not him,” they said, a whisper just between them.
Milo cringed. Who did they mean? The newly mentioned Quinn? Or his dad? Because right now he really wanted to hit someone. His hands were curled so tightly that his knuckles ached.
Their fingers hooked around the back of his neck, pulling until his head met theirs. He felt their eyes on him, intense as ever. “Wanting to protect people is different than wanting to hurt people.”
He wasn’t sure right then. He really wanted to hurt someone. Someone he’d never even met. He closed his eyes but it only made that picture of Darlin all fucked up and dazed from that stranger’s phone clearer in his memory.
Sweetheart scratched the back of his neck gently, trying to distract him. “Stop it.”
He dragged a breath and let it out, nodding. Whatever that was, what he’d heard them talking about, that was in the past. There was nothing to do about it now but keep an eye out for Darlin in the future. He winced again. How much of that shit had they overheard? Would they close off even more now that the rest of them knew something about their past? No. They’d finally agreed to hang out with the group tonight.
That was good. That was really good.
“Thanks, Sweetheart,” he said, wrapping both arms around them and hugging them tightly. He pushed his face into their neck and breathed them in. “If anyone ever hit you…” he mumbled, hating even the words.
Sweetheart laughed darkly, giving his hair a little tug. “I’d bury ‘em before you even got the chance.”
He sighed. They said that because they didn’t know what it was like to have someone you loved turn on you like that. He was glad for it. It was fierce and beautiful and he hoped they’d never lose that. As long as he was there, they wouldn’t.
“Are you two cleaning or fucking?” Asher called from the front room. “Because I’m about done out here…”
Sweetheart unraveled from Milo and turned toward the doorway. They started making loud sex sounds.
Milo bit back a laugh and finished cleaning his station while Sweetheart gyrated, calling out Asher’s name in a mock orgasm.
Asher came to lean in the doorway, one pierced eyebrow raised at the scene. “Nice, Sweets…” he said, tone flat with sarcasm but a little smirk pulling at his lip. “At least now I know what you’d sound like if I ever fucked you.”
Sweetheart put their hands on their hips, staring back at him. “And?”
He shrugged.
Sweetheart faked offense, hand flying to their heart. “What? What else could you want, Ash? I’m fucking amazing!”
He shrugged again, smirk back, and walked away to start shutting off the lights.
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pepprs · 2 years
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in my despera (despair era)
#purrs#talked to her about everything and uhhh. i think she simply cannot compute that being a mom is about more than feeding your kid and bringing#them stuff when they need it (not that that isn’t important or real or anything ofc) or that she has hurt me in ways that run to the deepest#parts of myself. i think i did a good job keeping things civil and not being inflammatory like i usually am but everything i brought up she#refuted by pointing out something that i did wrong which i would then address / explain and apologize for and own up to and then when i woul#would point out stuff she did wrong she would just deflect w my own wrongdoings or change the topic or whatever. lol! and i told her she#night love me but i don’t think she likes me (hashtag ladybird) and she said that that was hurtful to hear but i explained why i felt that w#way and then she did nothing but continue to exhibit the same behaviors that make me feel disliked and quite frankly unloved by her so um.#lol and lawl and lel i suppose. the absolute hopelessness of it. she is never going to understand or change. there are the most basic things#in the world that i need from her which are also the hardest things in the world to ask your own mother ofr and i couldn’t even bring up the#favoritism thing bc everyone was around LOL but um. wow! she does not understand how she is hurting me and nothing i do or say will get#through to her. this will continue and worsen ♥️ i do not feel better i feel worse ♥️ every day brings a new reminder that she is emotionall#unavailable and unwilling to even try to be nurturing in ways that will impact me for the rest of my life ♥️#delete later#the energy it took not to start crying during that and now im too tired. what a fucked up day it’s been#like it’s as if i didn’t even say anything. she is like i pretend i do not see it <3#also she was like i had these same kinds of fights w my father but i realized what counted was that he was always there for me and i eas#like you’re not wrong but also… maybe that at least partially explains why you are an emotionally unavailable parent! lol!
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fadingluminaryruins · 2 years
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I'm actually curious about the Kelly thing. I think she's weird(y'know, the pregnant ins made me so confused.what was this girl trying to do! and I don't like her father, sry Kelly.) but I don't know what happened.
So sorry, I just saw you question now and like I said, I talk some distances with this app. I just came to answer at some people with I talk.
My god, so many are going to hate me… but at least I will be in peace with what I think. For me, Kelly is just a manipulative woman. The pregnant fake rumor, I think came from an account not very serious. So, I don’t think it’s really important to stay on that.
Yeah, social medias is only a facade, but like I always said we show and be what we decided. I only judge on what I saw. But this woman show many things. Like how she loves to appropriate her Max’s event. One simple and funny example, the day Max received his medal. What did she do?Instead of posting a nice picture with Max and his family, which would have brought her the likes and followers she loves so much. No, she posted several photos of herself alone with some captions that had nothing to do with the event. The only caption where she really refers to the event, she puts "special day", sitting alone without even an identification of Max. The photos with Max and his family were put in her story which remained ephemeral. You make up your mind, if you like to analyze people's behavior then I'm sorry but this only shows a woman so opportunistic (and not in a good way).
Many rumors about her came out, many are fake it’s sure. Like for everybody else. But blocked max fans account while they did nothing, asking desperately to her to be unblocked them. A conversation, a long time ago, came out with sophie to know why a person was blocked and sophie told her to ask to… *bearing of drums* 🥁 Kelly, of course (what a suprise). Why this person should ask her to be unblocked her if it was Max account who blocked her ? I let you have your opinion. After, we’re going to tell me I’m crazy and I read to much between the lines. But trust me, it’s in reading too much between the lines that we know how to give our attention and trust to good people. Many of humans behaviors, are based on body language and everything that is not said. That is, what you are going to send back.
In brief, rumor pregnant is fake totally. But don’t worry she knows how to make her profits with this relationship. The time where she shows racist behaviors, everybody should stop to post her and praising her just because she love to expose (too much) max and her daughter (but it’s another debate) for likes.
Really people are going to hate me, all the big blogs make me fun. Don’t be racist, but if someone show the life of your favorite driver so that okay we can close our eyes. The number of likes, still today while she had tendencies to be racist and many see it, scared me guys. Really people just praise what they want without any conviction…
Anyway, I hope I succeed to answer you anon! I just wanted to explain to you, other faces of this woman which can be weird.
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ihatebnha · 2 years
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It WASSS pro hero au, not recovery girl just some random nurse but yea lol
oh gosh darnit!!!!!!!!!! now i feel like a binch, still tho, that's a big
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crunchycrystals · 1 year
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love from the other side's lyrics make me think of that question of "is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" and loneliness
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freddiekluger · 1 year
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finally got round to watching pearl tonight, not sure how i feel about it considering i really enjoyed the final act but man a lot of the optics re: pearl's father and also spanish flu a little bit are really not spectacular through a disability lens in a way distinct from in-universe character perspectives & stuff that makes sense as part of the diegetic logic
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rasam · 2 years
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more ppl need to be bad at recognizing when im upset esp if im upset in public. if u say shit like “r u ok??” or “what happened u look sad” to me in public im fully going to lie
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darealsaltysam · 2 months
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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT
below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this
oh my god okay okay where do i even start
opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up
watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok
this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!
i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis
arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie
but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.
i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.
the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this
OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD
jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed
the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH
all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!
once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM
rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it
the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that
okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT
FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER
stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET
just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT
when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.
the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd
GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.
dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.
and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell
speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing
what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah
special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL
the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS
a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!
anyway. back to the horrors.
i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP
i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me
chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!
SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING
TIMOTHEE
FUCKING
CHALAMET
listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.
he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing
paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting
like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different
what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!
also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg
when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us
also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore
have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her
okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive
chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much
THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD
IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL
THE WORMS
THE SENSE OF SCALE
THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY
THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME
THE SOUND
EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL
the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell
every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis
gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3
the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall
i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell
i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3
OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO
HERE WE GO YALL
THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK
THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!
THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start
okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys
paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around
i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more
i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?
but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.
oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.
theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point
another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!
this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani
chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"
i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.
sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3
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kidrat · 11 months
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having feelings about trans Gwen,,, like there's the 'superhero leading a double life' allegory for being closeted, which ppl have noted, but there's plenty I haven't seen anyone mention yet! like, the fact her dad has a trans patch in support of her means she's out.
She's a young trans *girl* (as opposed to a trans woman) living as her authentic gender in a loving home. she went to her school dance in a dress. she did ballet! which of course boys can do too, but often times when people are assigned male they don't get the chance to explore feminine hobbies. It's really lovely that someone, likely Gwen's dad, supported her enough to let her have those girly experiences and memories, whether she was living as a girl when she took dance up or as a gnc boy.
While it's subtle rep, I still think it's awesome to imply a character like Gwen is trans. Trans girls don't always get to have a childhood. Transmisogyny fetishizes transfems and presents them as always victimisers, never victims. They're barred from girlhood and it's connotations of innocence, vulnerability, lovableness.
Not that Gwen isn't a hashtag strong female character! And not that she hasn't had to grow up fast in other ways. She Is Literally Spiderwoman and she plays the drums and has agency and expresses negative emotions. But she's also a teenager, and she gets to be hugged and comforted, and to be set up for a soft friends to lovers relationship with another teenager, a cis boy who respects her and only knows her as a girl and thinks she's amazing and draws her in his sketchbook. That is not a role the media often lets trans girls have!!! It's lovely to think young transfems might be able to see themselves in a character consistently shown as worthy of affection.
Of course, the fact that Gwen is in the closet about being spider-woman is even sadder knowing this is her second rodeo. Lots of us have hesitated to come out a second time because our parents were supportive about the first thing and well, putting something else on them feels like taking the piss or hoping for too much.
Something else I wanted to talk about is how Gwen being trans effects a reading of her Peter's death, especially taking into account the new information this film gave us about this. There's this gendered switch happening, where Peter passes on his usual role to a woman. What's more, he has to die for her story to happen. She loves him, and never wanted him to die, but she's blamed for it anyway. Her father talks affectionately about the dead Peter, calling him his daughter's best friend. He talks about him like a son. He vows revenge on Gwen for killing him. It's a fantastic allegory for how some transphobic parents hate their out trans children for 'killing' the kid they had before.
I think with the above in mind, maybe we can see the subtext of Gwen's arc with her dad in this film as that of a supportive parent who's nevertheless got some biases left that hurt his trans daughter, who doesn't speak up for fear his acceptance is conditional.
I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that protecting a trans daughter is this Captain Stacy's motivation while he's working as a cop. Obviously there's the text that he wants to be a 'good cop' to work against the institution's bigotry, and he displays the trans flag on his work jacket. His quitting the police is a fantastic story beat because it makes a point about the real world while also serving a lot of the analogies going on.
Good cops quit. They realise you can't be a well intentioned cog in a bigoted machine. It doesn't matter if you're a bigot or just taking actions a bigot might because you're working within parameters set by bigots. It's an important message. Within a trans reading of the film, I'd also see this plot moment as Stacy realising he can't protect his trans daughter if he's still playing by the rules of a society that see her as threatening and duplicitous. He's then able to stop seeing her on some level as having killed his son.
They're able to be close again because he has completely rejected the cis culture he was a part of, rather than just decrying the worst parts and slotting Gwen in. She no longer has to worry that he'll rescind his acceptance if she's too trans, and so he gets to know all of her because she can let him into her world without self-editing.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on Gwen after watching Across The Spiderverse two hours ago lmao.
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fizzyorange-v2 · 1 year
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just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.
it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.
Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.
But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.
I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.
And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.
Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!
Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.
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goldsbitch · 1 month
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Just don't talk--------
-you might say something that hurts.
p10 to Just don't talk
summary: Enemies to lovers on steroids. The PR teams strike again.
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Y/N was unusually giddy while doing interviews on the grid that day. It was hard to be nervous when in the corner of her eye she saw Lando, in his usual glorious unbothered style, seemingly more confident than he'd been the past few weeks.
Smiles shared in secret, both of them being lifted up by enormous amount of butterflies. Yet they both tried their best to keep busy in order to push off their inevitable "what are we" talk.
She was more than sure what she wanted to be to him. But the thought of him not being willing to make the lead was a scary one - so let's just ignore it and keep thinking about his tongue on her neck. And Lando? He was doing exactly the same. Both of them blissfully unaware that their crush has started to become impossible to hide.
//
"Y/N, what do you think about the car on this track? Will you be competetive enough for a podium?" was a simple and boring question that Y/N tried to answer in a creative way, but nothing was coming to her mind. With a great smile, she replied: "Yeah, I have a pretty good feeling that things are turning out for good."
Lando was "not so accidentally" passing by at that exact moment, deliberately taking the rout where he would have to walk past her, because his body just wanted to be near her at any point possible. His school boy instinct kicked in and in the same way as a five-year old boy would pull his crushes hair, he snatched Y/N team cap of her head gracefully in order to tease her.
"Hey!" she screamed in the middle of listening to another question from the interviewer and turned around, knowing well who that was, as she watched him approaching before. A small amused smile escaped her, it was impossible to stop it. Same for Lando.
"Oh, hello, Lando," the interviewer acknowledged him, hoping for some good viral content.
"Hey," was his speedy response, probably not ever trying to hide his own amusement.
Y/N tried to keep it cool and look at his lips. "Give it back, Lando." Nope, she failed at keeping her smile in.
"You know where to pick it up, honey," he said simply, winked and said goodbye to the interviewer as he walked away. Y/N's stomach dropped at how obvious he was with his flirting in public and how impossible she found it to keep herself together. She took a moment before resuming, internally fuming. She was happy and mortified at the same time.
"Well," Y/N said as she turned back to her interview. "Where were we?" And there it was - a fatal smile that would cost her in the future.
The interviewer was full on a mission to not let that go. "I see the mood has shifted between you two, has the previous feud passed now?"
"I guess you could say that, yes," she replied, slowly pulling herself back, heart still beating like after running a marathon.
"Do you guys spend time together off the track? Has that maybe helped?" How the fuck was she supposed to answer that?
Not so confidently, she pulled out a cliché line in order to save her. "We do our talking on the track." It was technically not a lie - what they did in their spare time was definitely not limited to talking.
"I see," the interviewer said, not satisfied with her answer.
"I'd love to chat, but my team is calling," he pointed somewhere off camera, somewhere where there definitely was not someone from her team pointing at her. She excused herself and strolled away, in the other way that Lando went, as quickly as possible.
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Yes, she did. Oh god, it was becoming unbearable. How was he so infuriating? How can one manage to be so....ugh!!
The day passed by in a blur of meetings, interviews and fan meet and greets. Since their "joint" interview was live though, it took only few hours for the first edits to appear on social media, hashtags getting created and the two of them going viral once again. It was all a bit overwhelming, Y/N sat there and secretly watched every single edit she came by. There is one thing to fantasize secretly about your crush, another thing is when the whole seems to get on the same boat and romanticize the fuck out it. Was it making the whole thing more awkward? Probably, but Lando's and Y/N minds were too busy thinking about each other in order to take in the point of view of others. The whole grid became aware of the pair quickly becoming a meme.
Oscar limited himself to eye rolling only, as he was more than aware of what was going on.
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Y/N was shocked to find Lando already sitting in with his and her team in one of the FIA's meeting rooms. The fact that this was happening outside of their team premise should have been a clear sign - they are being called into the same meeting. Nowhere to hide now.
Lando was sitting there, casually cramped up in a chair in an anatomically impossible position, legs twisted all around. "Can't he not sit like a normal person for once?" was Y/N first thought. The reason he sat like that was to prevent himself from foot tapping the whole building down. Acting cool and innocent, that was his strategy. He was sure they'll tell him to tone it down, not to bother Y/N publicly, he'll just nod at everything they say and then go finally cum all over her chest once again, just to prove to her that she is his. Not a hard task. He glanced at her innocently as she stepped in, doing a real bad job at hiding her shock. He rolled his eyes and smirked. This girl was so innocently cute. His own comms team shot him a warning look, so he just proceeded to stare into the ground. Y/n had very little time to get her strategy ready, cursing herself for not discussing this with Lando prior to this.
"Thank you both for coming on such a short notice," was how Lando's team opened the conversation with. You could cut the tension in the room with a butter knife.
"As you're both aware, we have tried several strategies in the past in order to get your image out in the best light as possible."
Y/N let out a laugh which she could not contain in, to which Lando shot her a surprised, horrified and slightly amused look. Unbelievable.
"Continue, please. I am listening," he said, just to spite her.
"Thank you. Please guys, let's keep this civil and adult," this time her team stepped in to put her down. Lando could not remember having this much fun.
"To continue what my colleague started to say, lots of several approaches which did not bring the ideal results. And with today's development, we feel like this is another time for us to step in. You're both faces of prestigious brands and the teams rely on you being likable characters. Am I right?"
Lando nodded, as if he was lying about understanding a new topic in a math lesson - maybe little too much. Y/N just bit her lip and remained silent.
This whole thing was so bizarre, like being caught for stealing a candy bar while having a stolen gold necklace in your pocket.
"What would you suggest?" Lando asked and Y/N doubted anyone in the room was fooled by his act and must have seen though him. He was obviously having the time of his life. At this rate she would have a hole in her lower lip if she would keep biting it down this was.
"I'm glad you're asking, Lando, and hope you'll be able to cooperate."
"You can count on my sincere involvement in your strategy," he stated seriously and stared at Y/N comms team. His own team knew what was up with his attitude but decided not to call him out just yet.
Y/N glanced at the papers resembling a contact on the table. This is it, she thought, the no contact and no involvement agreement. They're going to stop them from talking to each other in public? Is that even allowed?
His's comms manager took a deep breath. "The numbers on all our socials have spiked up greatly since your interaction became of a positive nature. What we've seen today - that will make our sponsors more than happy."
Lando was quicker than Y/N to connect the dots. His mood changed drastically within seconds and he finally sat up straight.
"No. Not a chance," he burned his team with his hard stare.
"Lando, please, let us finish."
He was not having that. "I know what you're going to say and no, you can't just order us to do that."
"Nobody is ordering you to do anything. We're simply...Putting this on the table.
"Forget that, no way in hell am I ever going to agree with this," he said, pointing at the contracts lying on the table. The room went silent for few seconds.
"I'm sorry, what are we talking about here?" asked Y/N, not really having the dots connected just yet. Lando briefly forgot that she was in the room, suddenly regretting his quick dismissal. But he was not the one to be forced into anything like this. Better him having it break to her then them, right?
This time he was the one to take a deep breath and while speaking to Y/N, he still stared at the comms teams. "They want us to start fake dating for PR." He was hoping he got it wrong. But the silence on the other side of the table just proved him right.
This came as a shock to her. Was this their masterplan? Did they really have to meddle all the fucking time? "I...I didn't think these things actually happened in real world," she stated, honestly.
Why couldn't these two just get a minute to talk among themselves? Y/N's mind was once again stuck in a rut because of Lando Norris existing at the same time as she did. Million questions on her mind, but the biggest one - why was it such a hard and obvious no from him? He did not even consider it. This could have been an easy escape for them.
"What would that look like exactly?" she asked, wrapping her head around it.
She received smiles from the team, them being happy that she was seemingly somewhat on board. "Well, we would set a clear timeline with a deadline and a scheduled break up, set up a social media strategy, you'd accompany each other on social event and the PDA would be very clearly stated upon the mutual agreement between you and your lawyers. Involvement of other people around you would always be discussed prior and clear communication is key. We do not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Of course, an NDA is part of this agreement."
It was impossible to look at him just yet. Her head was spinning. She was on the verge of crying and had to somehow hold herself together in front of all those people. She had to get out fast, like fast fast. She had her answer. He did not like her in the same way she liked him.
"Excuse me for a moment, I feel sick," she said and swiftly got up, nearly tripping over her own feet as she sprinted out.
part 11
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