#i miss you so fucking much

[ryan-waddell11]

you could never disappoint me (you could hurt me but let’s not talk about that ugly scene)

#eddie munson #joseph quinn #stranger things #stranger things vol 1 #stranger things 4 #eddie munson stranger things #the hellfire club #joe quinn #netflix #eddie deserves better #Stranger things vol 2 #eddie in s5 #eddie as kas #corroded coffin #my beautiful boy #i miss you so fucking much #why’d you cut the rope?? #my favorite metalhead

[conjectureand-gloom]

two more weeks until i see akeyla again. 23 days since i last saw them. i’m going fucking insane.

#akeyla ml #i miss you so fucking much

[elaria-the-moth]

I don't exactly know how to say this, and I've just never been good with grief or like a lot of things lately tbh. But I've lost my other primary alter, Elaria. And I just miss her. She was awesome, a badass, and just was always there for me whenever I hurt too much that day.

I hope you're okay wherever you are, I wish you were still here. I miss you and I love you.

You might be gone, but your fire still burns, I understand what you meant by those flames now. You were holding back all that pain for me, and I just don't feel I deserved that.

Thank you for being a part of me. I wish being plural didn't mean I had to lose parts of myself. But that's just sadly how it is. I miss you. And I know I always will.

#plural #elaria #i miss you #i miss you so fucking much

[opiatesandspeed]

Because we'll be together...

#inception #nikki #I miss you so fucking much #I can't do this shit much longer #I miss you every fucking day

[bagginshielder]

you would be 10 years old today 💔 i miss you everyday my sweetest baby boy ❤️

#jimi #hauvavauva #i miss you so fucking much #you were the one thing that always made me smile #i loved you more than anything

[spw-art]

I’m never seeing dr*co again am I. name censored so it doesn’t show up in her tag.

#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #that might actually kill me. #love of my life #sweetest little thing #I miss you so fucking much #that might actually fucking kill me #I have an actual obsession with her. ocd related. #that might kill me.

[always-and-evermore]

🌊

#it’s just a wave #i just hold on #holding on for dear life #it breaks my heart #emoji of a wave #🌊 #john mayer #letting go #i miss you #i miss you so fucking much #heartache #spilled heart #spilled emotions #spilled thoughts #sad songs #Spotify #alwaysandevermore.creates

[angelnumber27]

.

#i miss you so fucking much

[singlethread]

I’m glad I make @swiftiemere laugh

#I miss you so fucking much #one of us needs to visit the other stat

[cosmicxhoney]

i love you i love you i love you

#tj #i miss you so fucking much #part of me died with you i swear #tell yr friends u love them

[nolovewillbeshown]

"It's something unpredictable But in the end it's right I hope you've had the time of your life."

#mine #i miss you babe #i miss you so fucking much

[ibvix]

#executiveroom #for you i have waited nearly a life time !!! #you deserve love and kindness!! #infinite flames of love and passion !!! #wuving you for you only !!! 💋🔥💋 #you are so beautiful inside and outside !!! #i miss you so fucking much #what are we waiting for ??? 💋💋💋 #on time and patiently waiting for my soulmate. #thank you sooooo much #so when should we expect to begin sharing ??? #take a deep breath and relax your shoulders ☁️ #wuving you is alive and the yearning is burning #hey there hot sweet and sexy u ??? #goodies it's my very own only love ... #you are loved beyond all #another reason why i love you so #oh thank you !!! i love only you !!! #after all these years #i’m so in wuv with your totality !!!

[rantceratops]

Day two and it still hurts like a fucking bitch.

I did do something that lifted some weight off my shoulders this morning, and that was sign papers to have Sassy cremated and her ashes sent home to me where she belongs. I was terrified they wouldn’t still have her body, but thank fucking god they did. I had been too distraught to make the right decision the day she was put down, I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing/dealing with her dead body so had them take her away. But then I felt so sick leaving her there, so I had someone call for me today to see if they still had her, and they did and I was so fucking happy. I drove right over and signed the papers and I can’t wait to have her home where she belongs.

The people at the vet were very sympathetic. When I initially left her body with them, they caught me at the check out and asked me if I wanted to keep this little container of fur. So now I will have her fur and her ashes.

There’s still a fucking massive hole in my chest and nothing will bring her back, but I’ll feel somewhat relieved to have her home.

I’m nervous about it until I get her ashes in my hands though, I worry about something going awry.

#death #depression #mourning #Sassy cat #god I miss you baby #I miss you so fucking much #my room is empty without you trying your best to get around in it #you fought so hard #you really did #you were fighting when they put you down too #I'm so fucked up rn

[for-no-one-to-read]

Maybe one day I'll let you go, maybe one day I'll stop missing you, maybe one day I'll stop crying over you. I don't know, all I know is today is not that day.

#for no one to read #breakup #heartbreak #i miss you #better here than a text #i miss us #i miss you so fucking much #i need you

[carronpatrick]

I had 4 hours of sleep in the past 3 days... And now that Trooper is gone, I just. I'm so scared to even try to sleep.

I haven't slept alone since I was like, 12. Which, I haven't slept since Trooper died 14 hours ago despite being so utterly destroyed I can barely keep my mind working... But either a dog or boyfriend or friend sleepovers or on my parent's floor... I don't know how to sleep alone without night terrors and fitful dozing of 15 minutes here, 10 there.

And I don't even give a flying fuck if whoever reads this thinks I'm being dramatic. I'm not. I had this puppy since he was 7 weeks old, being sold as a 'defect' because he had a curly-q tail, and we were together through an extremely abusive relationship, a car accident, someone stalking and threatening to kill me, my shitty ass family and exfriends dramas, the death of my dad and Jake and our 2 eldest dogs, 5 different diseases between us two, my mom's brain surgery, and every time my depression got almost unbearable where I literally begged God to let me die... I kept going purely because he needed me.

He slept in my arms from night one. There were 3 nights in his 9 year life where I wasn't home and that was to take care of my mother in Nashville and my dad watched him and sent me hourly pupdates. I didn't sleep until I almost passed out whole driving us home and even then I was in my mom's room.

I feel absolutely empty and hollowed and dead. Just still have the horrific pain which is how I know I'm still alive. I manage to stop sobbing and having a panic attack where I can't breathe and then I just... Look around and I see him everywhere. His water bowl by the bed, his babies on it, his hair clippers in the bathroom, his medicine downstairs, his numerous beds and toys and his treats and his little hoodie and his damn fur from when I trimmed him literally right before his became comatose on our bed... I have his collar on me constantly, which I bought before I even knew he was the best boy for me...

I am just so utterly alone. Everyone I love leaves or dies or lives hundreds of miles away and I genuinely don't know what I did in a past life to either piss off the universe or for God to think I can just handle all of these struggles... But I'm so sorry for whatever I did, I am. I need just.... One bit of good, of sunshine in this fucking hurricane.

I had to set up 2 night lights just so I can try to maybe sleep if I can finally pass out from deprivation and exhaustion from crying almost the entire past 14 hours. My skin is raw, my eyes are swollen and red, my nose and sinuses are stopped up to where I popped my left ear when swallowing mid-episode, I got maybe 6 bites of food in because I am so so sick to my stomach, I have a fever and chills, I have marks where I dug nails into my arms and legs and a bruise on my forehead and chest where I pounded repeatedly in a feeble attempt to stay sane and alive and grounded and I still can't fucking sleep.

I lay on my left and I expect to see him there, whining to go under the covers and cuddle with me... Lay on my right and expect to feel him curl into my back and scooch me to the side more and more... Lay on my back and expect to feel him at my head, curled around it like he did since he was a baby.

I doubt anyone is still reading and I'm just fucking sobbing writing it but. It's 330a and it's not like I can fucking sleep. I want my baby, I want my daddy, I want my honey... I want to dissociate or just snap and not feel a fucking thing thing until I can successfully shove all of this pain and sadness and misery into my compartmentalizing brain boxes and not take bits out until I can handle them.

Hopefully my medicines kick my ass and I just.... Sleep with zero dreams or terrors for the next day or week or, idk. I can't even talk about what exactly happened to him because it was too similar to my dad's death and I genuinely am traumatized because I was just finally easing my ptsd from dad and now have it from my baby boy, my son, my soul... I probably am making zero sense.

Hug your loved ones, anyone actually reading this... Hug them and tell them you love them every chance you get. Say it over and over - it doesn't cheapen it. Not if you mean it. Whether your loved one is a fur baby or a human, related or a friend or whatever... fucking love them and let them know it every second you can because anyone can get taken from you in a moment. And you'll be left cursing every millisecond of wasted time.

#I love you forever my sweet boy #You were the best boy anyone could ever have #I am so sorry if I wasn't good enough of a mommy I am so sorry I couldn't keep you safe and healthy #I miss you so fucking much