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#i need to get back on language learning outside work bc that worked rly well
marsixm · 2 months
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im in a weird grey area rn where ive learned enough spanish over the last 2 years that i can say small phrases and understand the gists of things so ppl ask if i speak spanish and im like VERY VERY VERY little and they hit me with a whole sentence and im like 😳😅 but then i cant say i speak nothing bc i do understand a little and i can say hi bye thank you have a good day etc. im basically that family guy bit where the guy only speaks 1 sentence of english and the other sentence explaining it
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acaiasahi · 1 year
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WOOHOOO I FINISHED MY EXAMS !!!!!
other than that, i just found out that ppl were making more rumours abt me and this senior i went to camp w 😭 nah cuz why is there so many rumours of me dawgg 💀 and who's the one starting them 🤨
anyways, how r u?? <33
- 🌱
yayyy congrats!!! tell me how they went when u get results back!!! <333
it's gotta b someone who dislikes u or smth bc 1) there's nthn wrong w dating lots of ppl at ur age!!! (even if u aren't dating), ur young n shiii, no reason to be tied down n if i wanna b, nthn wrong w that either!!! do what u want, this person doesn't have a life... n also doesn't slay as hard as u, obviously!!! 😭
cw: rant, racist/toxic/annoying-ass coworker 😭
doing okay, my coworker (she/her) at my boba spot is fr putting me in a weird position bc she js got broken up w their partner (they/them), n ngl, my coworker's crazy af like she needa go to therapy frfr. she told me that one time, she js started crying randomly and hid in her car while hanging out w her s/o n when her s/o came out to check on her, she locked them out even tho she said she wanted their company??? and another situation, she got upset over the amt of gifts she got for her anniversary... n her s/o still gave a thoughtful gift bc it was smth that he liked n assumed she would like too n she was being a total bitch abt it 😭 n this one time, she started crying while her partner was DEPRESSED and made it abt herself like BOIII 😭😭😭
she also keeps asking me if we're friends to the point where we can hang outside of work n... no, not to b mean but i don't view her as a friend, js a coworker that's easy to talk to. she trauma dumps on me and only talks abt autism or neurodiverse topics n makes self deprecating jokes that yas r funny at times but not all the time. she wants constant reassurance from me, it gets tiring. one day, we were talking abt kpop n i told her that i don't rly like skz music one way or the other, i could care less if someone else did but i js don't like their music n i think that's valid/don't need to explain myself but anyway, she literally said "how do u not like skz music but i like nct's??? their music is literally shit, basically bg noise" n i was so upset n take aback bc i didn't even shit on skz's music, i js said i didn't like it, didn't even say "hate" lime what??? 😭😭 n she constantly shits on bts' newer music that's obviously targeted towards international folks like fuck off AND she's racist too bc this one older filipina lady came in and it was obvi from the get that english was not her first language n so i had to slowly speak her thru the menu, the milk options we have, etc. and by the time we made the drink, wished her a good day, and she left, my coworker literally was like "omfg could she speak any fucking slower" n i was like "well, be open minded bc eng is not her first language, obvi." n my coworker fr said "well eng isn't my first language n i don't suck 😐" GIRL BFFRRRRRKFDISN OMG N THIS ONE TIME I HEARD HER HELPING A CUSTOMERS IN SPANISH N I WAS LIKE "oooh when did u learn spanish," n she deadass said "my s/o's mexican, i have to learn it" AND HER PAETNER DOESNT EVEN SPEAK SPANIS H TO HERRENEIDNSKWMEK SHES JUST A BASKET OF RACIST OMFG
ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE RANT BUT TY IF U MADE OT THIS FAR 😭😭😭😭
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dirtycccat · 3 years
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the demon bros+ undateables showing their love
thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy
lucifer
first off you notice he treats you differently
and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child  sibling
you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)
then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present
and you’re ofc impressed
but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you
he’ll leave most of his walls down around  you
which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer
he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses
you find it rly cute though
if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire
“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not  have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”
you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of  poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)
mammon
protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way
but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!
gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you
wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like
you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.
it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window
rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid
anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU
levi
considers you his bff ofc
but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him
until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine
he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff
at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along
but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them
you feel really moved that he’d do that for you???  like??? bruh...
your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit
it’s rly wholesome tho
if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute
also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...
satan
he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too
when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked
like he was really going at it
but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable
and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)
but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan
since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)
also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better
he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you
so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library 
asmo
compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give
like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them
he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you
he’ll be the one that pampers you
you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo
he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you
if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably  buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute
if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink
beel
cooks for you
no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something
which is??? really touching coming from beel
and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again???? 
thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides
also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts
expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare
which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)
which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?
belphie
is more baby less murder when you’re around
naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere
but also let’s you nap on HIM
besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too
and talks to you about his traumas and issues
which he has in common with his twin what can you do
so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them
also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language
are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night 
simeon
writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and  his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not
if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it
creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)
asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke
invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks
if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice
cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough
asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”
you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him
diavolo
invites you around to his castle all the time
sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him
expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination
gives you compliments 24/7  even in public
remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look
if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time
if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love
if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you
which means more to him than gifts
(we will buy you anything you ask though)
barbatos
actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo
also invites you to alone time tea or wine time
where you drink and gossip
if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows
but he knows,,,, a lot
and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,, 
so prepare for story time with barbatos where he  talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how  diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no
also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)
“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”
if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which  just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff
solomon 
he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures
you  visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs
it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto  haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew 
ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it
but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human
and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation
he also make you meet all kinds of people
since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people
and now his friends are your friends 
i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better 
but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions
did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items
...that you love and treasure thank you very much
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roadkillramble · 3 years
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Time for one of my fave first
Jade winglet LGBTQ+ headcanons
Moonwatcher
So : I believe that growing up in the rainforest, she mostly inherited their vision of relationships. Because of that, she grew up seeing polyamory and bisexuality as the norm!
She has a preference for men, but it switches up every so often and she is also remarkably quick to have slight crushes on people, although she doesn't usually act on it. I'd think she has a tiny bit of experience with relationships, but probably childhood puppy love type of things, no real serious deal.
When it comes to gender, she is fine with being seen as female, and goes by her agab, but I'd say she doesn't have a particularly strong identification to it, and if she woke up as a male, she'd be fine with it as well.
Qibli
Qibli is very much bisexual. It's probably common enough in Sandwings, and although he mostly tends to go toward monogamous relationship I'd say he absolutely does not mind polyamory although he has a lower need for several partner than some other dragons in the Jade Winglet.
When it comes to gender, I see him as cis, but he works just as well as a trans man tbh? But he's a Boy that's for sure. I like to make him cis bc like that i can make him very cuddly and like... Vulnerable in the way he explores feelings in a way that is usually seen as effeminate, which i enjoy writing for cis males more.
If feminine fashion existed in my headcanons, he'd probably enjoy crossdressing and playing with gender expectations. In general, i see him as having an interest in fashion and being GNC when he wants to. He's quite bad at making himself look good at first but he gets better. A lot of very embarrassing looks to look back on for future Qibli to cringe about.
Winter
He'd start off as bicurious and completely unaware of polyamory, and quite guilty about feeling attraction to anything else than an icewing in general, but I definitely see him as not amanormative.
I see him as neurodivergent, more on that in another post, but basically it makes it that his understanding of attraction is a bit fucky. He struggles to differentiate platonic attraction from romantic, and is quick to feel enamored with someone, which used to frustrate him and make him feel weak, especially when it wasn't reciprocated. In the Jade Winglet, he was able to explore his feelings more and settles on a comfortable mix of platonic partnership/close platonic bonds and romantic relationship, and in fact does welcome polyamory, which is more natural for him.
He's also bad with gender. Mostly, he feels a rift between him and the concept of gender, and would probably call himself agender if he cared. He mostly goes by he (and i tend to use he bc i am forgetful) but he also accepts they/them.
Turtle
Trans man!! I just see him like that and cannot for the life of me see him as anything else. I have a tendency to make him straight? I think he just thinks girls are very pretty and cool.
He rly wants to be big and strong and impressive, quite a bit influenced by both males and female in his family who tended to be bulky and Big, but he's settling with how he looks and learning to love himself. I don't think he has much dysphoria bc i don't make dragons externally different when it comes to gender, but he may have squicks with the concept of bearing eggs, which repulses him from the concept of sexual partnership in general so far (as a note i see the jw as like,, 15-16 hence why i talk about sexual attraction).
He falls in love hard tho, and has a huge thing for romantic stories.
Kinkajou
Bisexual and polyamorous!
Raised by Rainwings where it's the norm, she is very comfortable with platonic and romantic blurring together. I like to give her my "physical attraction as main attraction" thing bc i don't get to talk about it much, and kinka is one of the dragons where i can play around with it without making myself uncomfortable by worrying if it'll appear predatory.
But yeah, that means that like in the books, she has a tendency to fancy people first because of how they appear, but doesn't usually follow this through without first getting to learn what the person is like. She needs to trust the person for any kind of relationship, be it romantic or not, especially since her experience with the nightwings. She has crushes easily and is good at reading people.
I think she's secretly very good at flirting but just does not because it makes her self conscious. She just knows how to compliment people, which is also a huge advantage in friendships. Her love language is words of appreciations lol.
When it comes to gender, she's not a dragoness nor a dragon in her mind, just a rainwing. Rainwings usually choose what they want to be referred as at adulthood, so although she tends to use feminine because it's what she currently prefer, there has been times where she has used neutral or masculine. May play with neopronouns purely for fun, she doesn't take gender norms extremely seriously and likes to play with possibilities.
My ships
So i have this huge complex polycule for them bc why would I not, so here we go :
- Qinterwatcher : in a polyamorous open triad. Started with moonbli, but winter ended up joining them. Qibli tends to prefer having all his partners love each other, so he doesn't seek any partners outside the triad.
- Moonjou : They just quickly fell in love because moonwatcher adores kinkajou's sense of humor and general presence. They are both quite good at managing relationship, and have a lot of things in common, so it's a very stable relationship that is almost sure to outlast the academy.
- Winterjou : They are more platonic partners than romantic, but it's definitely a queerplatonic relationship. They started to hang out because talking about their respective pasts helped them vent and process it and just... Move on. But they ended up getting quite attached, and often spend time together if they have the opportunity.
- Turtlejou : Complicated. Kinkajou isn't quite sure what to think after anemone's spell, but she still loves Turtle, and Turtle is anxious about relationship in general. Right now they are just very close friends with a mutual understanding that if they end up both comfortable with it, it can be romantic.
Sometimes i add turtle x moon, but i see this as more of a quick thing that happened. Turtle isn't polyamorous, and only wants one partner, although he doesn't mind his partner having several.
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ao3gingerswag · 3 years
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on the whole idea of the boys when they're older interacting with kids, what if one day a kid comes in with his family who's like rly shy and timid, like not bc of abuse he's just rly shy and with his family who are perhaps quite boisterous and he's not and he gets quite anxious and there's a whole thing where the boys are able to bring him out of his shell ;~; like when he and his family are sitting down for a meal dean comes out with their food and makes him relax bc hes so good with kids. he comes down during the night bc he heard a noise and got scared and cas is down there cleaning up for the night and talks to him about nature to calm him down and the boy is like :)) and then the next morning he's outside and there's other kids who are playing with sam and he's off to the side but sam notices and is able to bring him into the play and he ends up making friends with the other kids, and then by the time the family have to leave the inn he's like smiling and happy and he turns to his parents and is like 'can we come back here soon :D' and it's this rly nice moment, maybe from his perspective so we get to see others reactions to the boys :))
ALSO AS I WAS WRITING THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY WHAT IF THE BOY IS JACK. DOESN'T NEED TO BE BUT IT WORKS KINDA WELL!!
awwww this is so cute!!! Maybe this could be combined with the prompt about cas helping the family with an autistic child and helping the parents understand their kid better....like maybe the kid is autistic and so he has a hard time talking sometimes and is withdrawn bc of difficulty interacting with others. and dean is so good with kids, even if he can't spot right away that the kid is autistic like cas would be able to, he can tell when he comes out with the food that the kid is in distress. like he's like and here's yours sir :) to the kid (dean is very polite but he is calling the kid sir as a bit of a joke to make the kid smile) and the kid like doesnt look up and the parents are like oh sorry he's just shy. and dean is like oh. hmmm. cause the kid has like his fingers clenched in his tunic. when he comes back out he like crouches next to the kid to make him feel more comfortable and is like hey :) i'm dean :) and the kid doesnt look up or say anything and the parents r like sorry he gets like this idk why. jack look at the nice boy and introduce yourself. (i didnt watch the later seasons but from what i see on tumblr.edu the consensus is that jack is autistic so!) and dean is like no thats ok he doesnt have to look at me/talk to me. and then to jack he's like. u know i have a friend who doesn't always look at people or talk to them and we get along just fine. so i think me and jack are gonna get along great :) and then to jack he's like. you know. my friend and i dont always talk using our voices. sometimes we use our hands! (i guess this is post meeting eileen- i've said this on a different post but once dean cas and sam r introduced to the concept of sign language they adopt it immediately bc cas feels so much more comfortable communicating like that when he's having trouble w/ words) and jack is like ??! so turns towards dean w/o making eye contact, clearly intrigued. and dean is like :) wanna see? :) and jack nods. and dean shows him a few basic signs and jack mimics him. and one of the words is upset. and then once jack learns it, dean signs "you upset?" to him. ;~; and jack nods. and dean is like. wanna tell me what's up? maybe i can help! and then jack does the shy kid thing of indicating with body language that they dont wanna say what's wrong out loud, so dean leans in and jack whispers into his ear "loud." and dean is like oh! i see! we can fix that :) can i tell your parents what you just told me? and jack nods. so dean says to the parents (who r looking on in bemusement) its a bit loud in here for jack. mind if i take him outside for a minute? and the parents are like oh! sweetheart why didnt you tell us? (they arent bad parents they just dont get jack and its the middle ages so its not like there is info out there) and jack shrugs and the parents sort of helplessly shrug at each other, bc jack not verbalizing issues is a common problem for them. and they r like um its ok u dont have to take him outside we will take him. but do u mind bringing our food outside and stuff. like can we eat there. and dean is like of course no problem! and theyre like r u sure? im sorry that u have to go out of ur way for us, im sorry about our son, he can be. kinda fussy sometimes. and dean is like literally dont worry about it!
so then jack's parents take him outside and they all eat on the porch, and dean keeps popping back over to check on them. and jack is clearly much happier and starts to become much more verbal now that he's not overstimulated. still shy and quiet but much more smiley and every time dean brings them something he's very quietly like "thank you."
omg! maybe dean notices that he's not eating his food and so he's like do we want something else? and the parents r like omg no omg im sorry he's just so particular about what he likes omg the food is great jack pls eat ur food dont be rude. and dean is like he's not being rude at all he's a very polite young man :) id be happy to bring something else out. and the parents r like. well. if you're sure...he likes things that r like. boring. like really really boring. like plain porridge with nothing in it and stuff like that. and dean is like mashed potatoes? and the parents r like yes! and jack perks up. and so he brings that out for jack. and he brings it out and the parents r like omg omg thank u SO much for going so out of ur way for our weird kid even tho he still wont look at u at all. they dont say that part they're not assholes to jack, its implied tho and jack kinda curls into himself bc hes embarrassed about causing problems. and dean ofc notices and is like. u know. my friend who talks with his hands can be very particular too. he doesnt like the noise in the dining room either, and he also only likes certain foods. and jack perks up again :)
ahhh he keeps coming out to check on them and he's like hey how u doing? and!! oh no maybe dean also taught him the sign for happy and he signs "happy" at dean ;~:
to be clear- dean doesn't make the connection that jack LIKE like cas, as in he's autistic, at least not yet. like i think he WOULD if he had more time with him, but cas is the only autistic person he's ever met, and he just met jack. dean def just thinks he's very shy, but he's great with kids and can tell right away that jack is upset, and he shows him the signs not cause he realizes that jack is actually non-verbal in that moment but because he really doesnt care if the kid doesn't want to talk to him, he just wants to help. and he shows him the signs and stuff bc he wants the kid to tell him whats wrong, but kids wont tell strangers that if u just ask upfront, you have to gain their trust a little first ;~; and dean understands all of this instinctually bc he's great with kids so he manages to figure out whats wrong and solve the problem even without realizing that jack is autistic. ;~;
the person who figures out that jack is autistic is definitely cas!! jack comes down in the middle of the night maybe not cause he hears a noise, maybe he just cant sleep bc he hates his routine being disrupted and being in a new place ;~; and the sheets feel all wrong and everything smells wrong and everything is different and he hates it ;~; so he comes downstairs maybe be he's crying and he doesnt want to wake his parents up. and cas is downstairs cleaning up still, it's totally quiet tho now so there is no overstimulation. and cas is like oh! a tiny person!! uuhhh.... he def panics a little bc he's not good w people and he's not sure what to do with a random crying child. maybe he briefly considers waking dean up bc dean is good with kids and also maybe he saw dean talking to jack earlier. but then hes like no dean is tired i dont want to bother him ill try to deal with it. and hes like um. hello. um. my name is castiel i am the owner of this inn. um i guess u dont care about that. um. r u ok? and then the kid signs "upset" ;~; and cas is like oh! bc thats their signs! so he signs "what's wrong, why are you upset?" back even tho like it's just their home signs so how would this kid know them. but he signed "upset" so cas responds kinda on instinct. and the kid does not understand anything other than upset bc dean only showed him like 5 signs and he kinda already forgot the other ones. but it doesnt matter! bc those r hand words like dean was talking about and showing him! which must mean this is his friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking!! and jack is verbally like. r u dean's friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking. and cas is like um? yeah i guess? thats me. and jack is like ! i am very particular too! and bc he trusts dean and now by extension cas, and believes dean about cas being "particular" like him, he doesnt feel embarrassed about admitting what's wrong. and he spills his guts hes like everything is WRONG i dont like how anything feels or smells or tastes and everything is different from how it is at home and i HATE it and mom and dad says thats rude but i dont want to be rude but i cant sleep bc everything is all wrong!!! ;~; and he says all this not looking at cas and waving his hands around his head. and cas is like......................................................................oh. hm. i see. this is Me.
so he's just very empathetic and is like im really sorry i totally understand, you're not being rude, i also feel that way whenever we travel and i also am very selective about what i can touch and eat and stuff and am very sensitive to the physical environment. i know i cant fix it all but is there anything i can do to help you feel better? do u want to try some different blankets? and he takes jack to the linen closet and is extremely patient as he brings down each blanket and lets jack touch each one and decide which is the best. and it DOESNT solve everything but just having someone take him seriously and listen to him makes jack feel so much better and hes eventually able to go back to sleep ;~;
in the morning theyre outside, sam who's like 16 or whatever is chasing the kids around playing tickle monster. and jack's parents try to get him to go play with sam and the other kids but he doesnt want to he's too shy and anxious. and cas keeps staring at jack like :( bc he KNOWS but he doesnt know what to do about it. he brings it up with dean and dean is like OH. i see THATS what was going on with him he's like you! and cas is like yeah :( idk what to do about it...
sam sees jack hanging around with his parents on the side and he's like hey! do u want to come play? and jack is like................ and his parents r like sorry hes really shy. and sam is like thats ok! i have an idea, why dont we change the game and we can play hide and seek! (bc that doesnt require jack to jump in to interacting with a big crowd of kids) he's like :) i bet u can hide real well! :) and jack is like! :D and he nods bc hes like whoa i CAN hide really well! and they play hide and ofc sam is the seeker but when he finds the kids he always kinda turns it into man hunt cause he's like ah HA i got u!!! and he chases them around. and eventually he finds jack and hes like mwahahahaha now im gonna EAT you!!! and jack like screeches and giggles and bolts away and sam chases him and the other kids, and basically he like tricks jack into playing the exact same game they were playing before by like easing him into it by not making the start of the game require walking up to a crowd of ppl. but then once they r in the game he's ok just running around with the other kids :)
meanwhile dean and cas watch this and dean is like. do u want to talk to the parents. and cas is like. :/ i dont know how to do that. like how would we even start that conversation. and dean is like. i can help u :) so he does! he's like hey u remember i was talking about my friend to ur son the other day? this is he! u met him when u were checking in! ive noticed that he's like really really similar to ur son and has some of the same issues, and we were wondering if u wanted to talk about how cas deals with some of those things? and basically dean eases them into the conversation and makes it unintimidating for both parties. and cas teaches the parents all about the concept of sign language, and how going non-verbal is more than just being shy, and like they start describing situations in which jack was like Weird theyre like one time he started screaming and crying and rocking in public we didnt know what to do! and cas is like well where were u? what was going on? and like helps them identify the kinds of sensory things that probably trigger jack and stuff. and just like. its a good convo.
omg and cas is literate by this point and maybe the parents r too and hes like. if u ever wanna write to me and ask me about more shit and whatever pls dont hesitate. and then they DO and basically they help this family understand and raise their autistic son and its great!!! :D
anyway this is a VERY long response i definitely just outlined a mini-fic here.
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t--o--f--u-blog · 5 years
Text
☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary
☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'
☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid
☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think
☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily
☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good
☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?
☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh
☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it
☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!
☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it
☐☐☐☐☐ yep
☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive
☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion
☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes
☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou  the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation
☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe
☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh
☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?
☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading
☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words
☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah
☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding
☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest
☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left
☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness
☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol
☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more
☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame
☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm
☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too
☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha
☼☼☼☼☼ :')
☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much
☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh
☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music
☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes
☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol
☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it
☐☐☐☐☐ loll
☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically
☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?
☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation
☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?
☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying
☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm
☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?
☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably
☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive
☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?
☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it
☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point
☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol
☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources
☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be
☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird
☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it
☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose
☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously
☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet
☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here
☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼
☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw
(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)
☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)
☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one
☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha
☍☍☍☍☍ xD
☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.
☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol
☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really
☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine
☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add
☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?
☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe
☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems
☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much
☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha
☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs
☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol
☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change
☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue
☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess
☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth
☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?
☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question
☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm
☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?
☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?
☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps
☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever
☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them
☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?
☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past
☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it
☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too
☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on
☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is
☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid
☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices
☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable
☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics
☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs
☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived
☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho
☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource
☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere
☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol
☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved
☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I
☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn
☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales
☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn
☐☐☐☐☐ but like
☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers
☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic
☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha
☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb
☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague
☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL
☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in
☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll
☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about
☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense
☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol
☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now
☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((
☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning
☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.'  ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha
☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh
☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha
☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)
☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great
☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'
☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!
☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly
☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho
☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course
☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now
☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true
☍☍☍☍☍ mmm
☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol
☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia
☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol
☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey
☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back
☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho
☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)
☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride
☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol
☼☼☼☼☼ :')
☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption
☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?
☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context
☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck
☍☍☍☍☍ time terry
☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol
☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly
☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry
☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol
☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship
☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on
☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities
☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll
☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol
☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter
☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression
☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners
☐☐☐☐☐ mm
☼☼☼☼☼ Tru
☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice
☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm
☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...
☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in
☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen
☐☐☐☐☐ ???????
☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”
☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿
☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh
☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054
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spinningkong · 7 years
Text
Qs
Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?
Black, but I usually take a pack of multicoloured pens or fineliners to work to *mix things up* and because I’m an absolute madman. Also good for doodling
Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?
City, I guess.
If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?
Still wanting to learn a lot of languages. I’d like to be a polyglot one day.
Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?
Usually 2-3. I prefer honey though.
What was your favourite book as a child?
Not sure. I remember having “The Teddybear Baker” and loving that
Do you prefer baths or showers?
Showers, but nothing beats a bath sometimes.
If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?
I would say mermaid but the deep sea scares me to hell and besides fish, the rest of sealife is terrifying. So idk, maybe an angel or something like that so I can fly.
Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?
Paper
What is your favourite item of clothing?
I don’t really have one. I have an old vest I wear for bed which has the Union Jack on it and it makes my tiddies look amazing (Marco and Lou can vouch seeing me wear it on video), and it doesn’t fit well but it makes me feel sexy I guess, also like Geri Halliwell.
Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?
I like my name starting with A, since it’s the first letter in the alphabet it’s easy to find my name in places, and it’s the first character, so obviously the most important, duh. Andy looks and sounds like a cute name. Kinda hate my surname, Everyone adds an ‘e’ to it, and it just sucks.
Who is a mentor to you?
My parents and auntie can offer some helpful advice sometimes but I mainly teach myself if I’m honest...
Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?
Maybe. I’d like to be famous for being good at something or representing something, not just for being some slag’s sister
Are you a restless sleeper?
No
Do you consider yourself a romantic?
I guess. I feel I’m at a point where I’m considering looking for love and open to it but I’m not sure.
Which element best represents you?
Fire
Who do you want to be closer to?
I thought I wanted to be closer to my Dad but right now I’m not sure about that. I  kinda wish I was closer to my cousins but feel they’re kinda not bothered even though I try and reach out. At least I can say I tried
Do you miss someone at the moment?
Yes
Tell us about an early childhood memory.
Loving QVC, Shania Twain, and The Witches of Eastwick, being gay as hell without even knowing what it meant
What is the strangest thing you have eaten?
I tried fish roe this month, didn’t like it.
What can you see outside your bedroom window?
Across from my house are my neighbours and there’s a DILF there who rides a bike and is scruffy and tall and built bc sometimes he works out in his driveway garage gym and I try not to look through my window while playing videogames lol
What are you most thankful for?
My health, I’m overweight but mostly healthy so far
Do you like spicy food?
Yes. I still love getting a korma, but spicy curries, sauces, etc, yes. I cook spicy food a fair bit tbh (especially with my URL being gochugaru)
Have you ever met someone famous?
Not really
Do you keep a diary or journal?
No. Keep meaning to
Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?
Pen
What is your star sign?
Aries
Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?
Crunchy
What would you want your legacy to be?
“He got to platinum in Overwatch one time, he will be missed”
Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?
I don’t read books, nearly bought American God after finishing the show but I’ll just wait until next season instead
How do you show someone you love them?
I say it. I’ll spoil you, cook for you, buy something for you with you in mind. Support you, read the eyes out of you when it counts, tell you you have lipstick on your teeth or need to put on some deodorant. Solo rez you in Overwatch or run into the open for you in PUBG. I’ll make this bussy yours. I’ll take time for you, and make time for you. Kiss yuh, hug yuh. Make ya laugh. Be there when you need me. Be a shoulder to cry on. Tell it like it is. Listen to you. Be faithful to yuh. Sing your graces to people. Be open with you. God I’m so mushy aren’t I.
Do you like ice in your drinks?
Hmmmm, yes.
What are you afraid of?
Spiders. Losing weight and having loose skin and not having enough money to tuck it. Losing our house because we can’t keep up the payments. Also me being stuck here unable to ever move out and get on my feet
What is your favourite scent?
Vanilla, coffee, idk
Do you address older people by their first or last name?
First
If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?
Move the fuck out, get my own place in a city, start living bc right now im not
Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?
Swimming pools
What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?
Take it, probably use it on food
Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?
Idk
What is one thing you would want to teach your children?
Don’t trust Capcom’s lies
If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?
I wouldn’t, bc tattoos are kinda gross to me, on white people especially. No ty, I think most people get them just to be *interesting* or do something ~wild~ tbh but they only rly look good if you’re samoan or maori, or a yakuza member, otherwise, stop.
What can you hear right now?
I’m listening to Pokemon Stadium music bc it’s so good
Where do you feel the safest?
Home
What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?
My loneliness I guess
If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?
Roman bath houses tbh, this thottie would be gettin all the d tbh, but also probably all the infections bc they were also apparently not emptied frequently so...
What is your most used emoji?
Probably the eyes
What is your favourite season? Why?
Spring i guess
How would you spend your ideal day?
Dick, videogames, food
Describe yourself using one word.
fat
What do you regret the most?
lots of things :) not doing better in uni or pushing myself i guess
Invent your own word. What does it mean?
joosy, since apparently it’s rly funny to Lou and idk why
#q
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kkukkung · 7 years
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Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right
big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2
tardy replies as usual under the cut!
(sorted from oldest to newest)
I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty
hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!
annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!
(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t
another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through
(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...
i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...
JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics
Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?
it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(
soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent
The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER
yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk
u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀
im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh
ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;
this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(
i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +
(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm
maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??
i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later
wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked
i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...
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misterbitches · 3 years
Text
Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.
It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)
They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.
I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.
I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.
I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!
People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???
I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.
But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.
Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)
So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)
Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.
I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.
Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.
However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking
(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)
So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.
Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.
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