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#i only walked for like 30 minutes but my back and feet hurt so bad i didnt know if i would even make it home or die in a bush somehwere
simcardiac-arrested · 7 months
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i deserve an honest to god medal for making it home but all i got was this lousy masterpost i need to update
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elsfavor1te · 1 year
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ellie hurt/comfort plsplspls i have no ideas i just want ellie so bad!!!!!
answering my first ask ever!! this is also like the first thing i’ve ever written for someone so.. i hope this lives up to your expectations anon!! send me more stuff this is fun .
ENDGAME
ellie williams x fem!reader. (i don’t think there’s any actual mention of reader being a female but i’m putting it just to be safe.)
warnings: sfw. hurt/comfort. some angst? overthinker!reader. little jesse slander? use of pet name ‘baby’. no use of ‘y/n’ lowercase intended!! lmk if i forgot anything <3
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your feet hurt from the back and forth pacing you had been doing for the past 30 minutes. though, the pulsing in the soles of your feet didn’t take away from the churning in your stomach or the thoughts running through your head.
you were literally worrying yourself sick.
your heart ached as you thought back to the argument between you and ellie. the words that were said. her scoff as she walked out of the door and slammed it behind her.
you and ellie rarely ever argued but when you did it wasn’t unfamiliar for her to leave for a bit to calm herself down. she isn’t the most rational when she’s angry and she knows that. so to avoid saying or doing anything she doesn’t mean she usually steps out to calm down but she always comes back.
always.
she had never been gone for this long before though. it had been nearly 2 hours. the longest she had ever left you before was 20 minutes at most and even then, she felt terrible.
your eyes welled with tears again at the possibility that you had really messed up this time. that she finally had enough and decided you weren’t worth it anymore.
the deep breath you took and seat on the couch was a pathetic attempt at calming yourself down. you had thought about leaving and going to find her multiple times but what if, in the time you were looking for her, she came home to look for you? sure you were overthinking but it wasn’t a chance you were willing to take.
in an endeavor to take your mind off of things, you glanced around you and ellie’s home. the pictures that had accumulated over months nailed into your walls, pictures of you and her, your loved ones, just stuff ellie drew. the trinkets that littered the shelves from lucky patrol runs. the memories tucked into every corner. you don’t think you’ve ever experienced a pain like this, it feels like someone has your heart in their hand. progressively tightening their grip.
your eyes glide across the room once more before locking in on the chipped paint of the front door. as a last resort you lie down and bring your knees up to your chest. the couch groaning under your weight was the only noise to be heard apart from your spaced out sniffles and the wind whipping against your home from all angles.
you have no other choice but to watch the door and wait.
———
the sound of boots being kicked off was a telltale sign that someone was home. your eyes flew open, locking in ellie’s short auburn hair and her faded flannel as she locked the door.
“oh baby, i didn’t mean to wake y-“
she was cut off by the broken sob that left your lips. her expression morphed into one of panic as you stood and wrapped your arms around her, the sound of your breath quickening. her response was immediate,
“why the tears, love? did something happen? are you okay?” her arms tighten around you. she hopes you don’t notice the way she tenses at the thought of something happening to you while she was gone.
you back away from her a little, still never leaving the warmth of her embrace,
“w-what do you mean ‘why the tears’ ellie?? you left me for-“ your eyes jump to the clock. “3 whole hours.”
“what? n-“
you cut her off. “i thought you were leaving me, els.”
the crack in your voice and tremble in your hands against her back was heartbreaking for ellie. “baby no. i would never- ever leave you. i was coming back to you when maria stopped me and practically begged me to help her with something for tommy. i sent jesse to let you know i might be awhile but that i loved you, & that i was sorry.“
by the time she was done explaining your sobs had reduced to small sniffles. “well now i feel dramatic … and a little stupid.”
“you aren’t stupid, he’s stupid. god i’m gonna break his fucking neck.” her green eyes were clouded as she gently swiped her thumbs over your cheeks to rid them of tears.
you tuck your head into her flannel with a small laugh before looking back at her with a slight smile on your face. “i love you.. we just never leave arguments for that long and it scared me. i can’t lose you.”
“you and i are endgame baby. there’s no way in hell i could ever leave you,” her fingers interlocks with yours. “..i don’t wanna think about what my life would be without you in it.”
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cumxxslutt · 2 years
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Really .
FEM/BLACK READER
Warnings: weird “friend”, Roman being a amazing boyfriend , cussing , slapping (not towards reader tho🤭) , angst .
Roman reigns x reader
Enjoy . 🎀
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“I’m about to punch this bitch” I lowly say to my best friend of 12 years turning towards him taking my eyes off the scene in front of me he only laughs “bitch me personally..” he started but I hit his arm “see what we not about to do is that me personally stuff” I say laughing this conversation kinda taking my mind off Lexi..
This was supposed to be a nice lil get together some family a couple friends and Lexi…Lexi my friend of 1 year and 2 months
20 minutes has passed and I was know in the kitchen with Jamie “Jamie let’s go to the living room my feet hurt” I said mugging him cause he was making me stand in the damn kitchen because his ex was here and he was scared “bitch nooo” he started but I just walked off to find my man
Walking into my living room I see something, no someone a little to close on Roman moving closer I see Lexi practically sitting on his lap and he looks very uncomfortable
“What’s going on here” I look at Roman and relief floods through his eyes Lexi jumps from hearing my voice and moving from him and getting up walking towards me
“Hey y/n I was just coming to look for you” lying straight through her fucking teeth I just look at her slightly pushing past her and walking towards roman “hey baby” he looks at me with pure love in his eyes which makes my heart jump at the sight “hey mama” he slightly whispers still looking at me like a cute lost puppy the only thing I can do is let out a laugh as I fall on him
Wrapping his arms around me I smile as I sit in his lap with my back against his chest with his arms holding me around my waist sitting in a criss-cross-apple sauce position looking up I see Lexi looking at me with hatred I only smirked
It’s been 30 minutes and I never wanted to smack a bitch so fucking bad she finally plucked my last nerve rolling her damn eyes at me for the 10th time tonight at least
“What’s your problem bitch” I say unwrapping Roman’s arms from around me and getting up he looks confused for a second then looks towards where I’m walking heading straight for that bitch she looks scared , good
“What are you even talking about” she says acting all confused “you’ve be rolling your damn eyes and making stank faces at me all night” “no I haven-“ but you hear jamie shout from the back “LIES” he says sipping on his drink you look at him and then turn back towards Lexi
“WELL ITS NOT FAIR YOU HAVE EVERYTHING” she yells breaking down and crying our guest was just watching this go on but who where they to judge she was the one being weird
“YOU HAVE THE MONEY , THE CLOTHES , YOUR FAMOUS , AND MOST OF ALL A BOYFRIEND YOU DONT FUCKING DESERVE-“ you stop her right there by slapping her as hard as you can hearing that slap made you almost feel it your self “get the hell out of my house” you lowly say as she stares at you “wow” she mumbled pushing pass you grabbing her things
Walking out the door you hear her yell “EAT SHIT AND DIE Y/N” fed up you yell “EAT SHIT AND LIVE LEXI” walking in your kitchen you grab a bottle of wine and set it down
Hearing Roman tell everybody the little get together was over and hearing people walk out you hear some feet running towards the kitchen you feel arms wrap around you “you gonna be okay babe” Jamie mumbled hugging you “yea” you mumble back with a small smile “okay” he says smiling “BYE ROMAN” you hear him shout “BYE” you hear Roman shout from the living room
Hearing the door slam shut you get up and walk to the living room seeing roman cleaning up you start helping him after 10 minutes your done and he’s know carrying you up stairs “you okay he” he mumbled kissing your lips “yea” you mumble back giving him more kisses as he runs you a bath .
——————————————————
Okay this is so ass but please like also reblog if you can also send request!! . 🎀
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aerolijah · 6 months
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Lonely. (A little Bonnie Oneshot Story)
*creeeaaaaak…*
Bonnie walks into her room, seemingly ready for whatever comes ahead
She sits down on her bed
“Clemont’s busy on an invention, and Dedenne’s helping him, so I guess I’m by myself! This should be quick…I hope.”
She starts twiddling her fingers, expecting this to be over in a short few minutes….
It’s been about 15 minutes, she’s slightly moved, as she’s looking around her room, at the clock, at the lamp, at the rows of shoes, and then at her own feet, which seem to be swaying back and forth from her boredom.
“This is taking…a little longer than I expected, I hope they’ll be done soon….”
It’s been 30 minutes, and Bonnie’s getting extremely worried, not about them, but about herself, she doesn’t do well when she’s alone, it eats at her slowly, like termites to wood. Her once happy face is starting to become stained with a frown.
A sniffle escapes her. She feels like she’s about to cry but..no tears
“I-it’s okay Bonnie, you don’t need to cry..oh! I can play with my dolls!”
She walks over to her drawer and pulls out…dolls of her and Clemont! They seemed well tailored, she starts acting like she dolls are moving and speaking…
“Hi Clemont!” “Oh hey Bonnie!” “Did you find yourself a keeper yet?” “Haha! Not yet, sorry..” “Well I guess I’ll just have to keep looking for you!” “Oh Bonnie…you’re a handful but… I love you..” “I love you too Clemont!”
She laughs and giggles, but they slowly fade as her smile fades from her little face…
“I feel like a bad sister sometimes…”
She gets up, and ends up laying down on her bed, arms spread out, like a Talonflame’s wings
She’s starting to think heavily, about everything that’s happened, during her adventures with Ash and Serena, and Squishy….words can’t explain how much she misses Squishy, even if they only knew each other for a short time, but those short moments were some of the best she’s ever had..
Tears are starting to fall down her face as she whimpers, like a small lost puppy….
“I miss A-Ash, and S-Serena, and Squishy….”
She’s starting to cry more, as she’s reminiscing on those great times, when they were together, when they were as close as a family, she wishes she could have those moments back but, she can’t, atleast not now, Ash is gone, Serena is gone, Squishy is gone, it’s just her, Clemont, and Dedenne in Kalos.
She’s crying more and more, as it gets more hearable from outside her door, to say she’s feeling bad would be a bit of an understatement, as her crying dies down, she sighs and says…
“I miss them…”
Suddenly as her sobbing has just ended for the time being, the door creaks open, and a familiar voice is heard
“Bonnie?”
“Clemont?”
“What’s wrong? I heard you crying and I wanted to check up on you.”
He sits down next to her as he speaks
“N-Nothings wrong Clemont! Trust me!”
Her smile is shaky, he can tell it’s fake.
“Bonnie, you don’t have to lie to me.”
She sighs
“I just miss Ash and Serena, and Squishy, it’s been a while already and, it’s starting to hurt knowing all those good times are just memories now..until we meet, but I don’t know when that’ll be.”
Clemont sighs, as he’s about to speak she says more…
“Am I a..bad sister?”
She says, tears forming in her eyes again
“Of course not! Bonnie I couldn’t ask for a better sister even if I tried hard enough!”
She seems surprised
“And don’t worry, Ash, Serena, and Squishy are just fine! They’ve grown from the experience just like we have, and when we see them again we’ll all have grown stronger!”
Bonnie smiles as her tears stop flowing, she hugs Clemont, but not too hard.
“Thanks big brother…I needed to hear that…”
“Heh, no problem Bonnie.”
(Not gonna lie I had this idea in my mind for a while so I’m glad to have gotten it out, hope you enjoyed! Maybe I’ll make more….)
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arcadian-vampire · 1 year
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[Long Medical Anomaly Blogging vent bc I'm going insane living like this]
I like to think I'm not THAT disabled, my condition hasn't deteriorated THAT much, until I'm forcibly reminded that I am so so stupidly fucking fragile these days. I tried to move my baskets of art supplies around-- LIGHT, LITTLE BASKETS that I carried LESS THAN TEN FEET-- and my chest fucking aches, it hurts, I feel out of breath and I Just Wanted To Organize My Stickers but I kept having to lean heavily against furniture, shut my eyes, and take deep breaths. I wasn't able to finish sorting my stupid stickers.
What the hell happened to me. I swear it wasn't that many years ago that I could at least pretend to be functional-- I used to walk up and down flights of stairs for school! Sure it hurt and I had to take it slow, but I did it. Now I'm lucky if I can stand up from the couch and not have to immediately bend over, hands on my knees, taking deep breaths until the dizziness passes. I can barely hold my dainty little nine-pound cat for more than a minute or two.
My therapist keeps pestering me about college, about a job, he keeps telling me I just 'have to think of the nausea as an inconvenience' and 'just make sure I take my meds with me'. The nausea is such a laughably small part of my condition (admittedly the only part of my condition he Really knows about, because that was thought to be psychosomatic, and I just can't bring myself to discuss much else) and my back hurts from the ridiculous amount of drugs and Fuck Fuck Fuck I'm Horribly Ill supplies I carry everywhere. I can't sit in a regular-ass chair without getting bruises. I can't stand for more than 30-40 minutes before I end up with intense pain all the way up to my neck, so bad I can barely hear people talking to me. If I lift my arm, my collarbone dislocates with a horrific thunk noise. I'm absurdly lucky if I can eat more than one little meal a day. Sometimes I end up in so much pain/so ill that I'll be curled up and eventually I realize 1. I'm a person with a body, damn, and 2. an hour has passed by without me. How the fuck am I supposed to be a college girlie with a dumbass retail job. I regularly injure my hand by holding my phone and it takes everything in me not to sob in frustration
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sarahsinwonderland · 1 year
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would you lie with me and just forget the world // carly sloan
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Carly had been sitting in her dorm room when she got the call. The call that stopped her world. Her father’s voice on the line, along with people screaming all around him. She only had to hear ‘Marcus’ and ‘injured’ before she was standing up and grabbing everything within arms reach to throw into her duffel. Her roommate had turned to look at her and the way Carly looked must have been enough for Cecilia to be scared. ‘Bug, you need to come home.’ As if she would have stayed while her best friend, the only person other than Shawn who knew her better than anyone, was hurt. She said ‘I love you’s’ before she threw her keys at Cece. 
“I need you to drive to the airport. Please. Take my car, use it, I just...” She couldn’t break. Marcus. Think of Marcus. Cece nodded and as soon as they both had shoes on, Carly grabbed her bag and they left. Her dad sent her the ticket he had bought her and by the time she hit TSA, she had 20 minutes til boarding. When she was sitting alone in the bursting terminal, that’s when she called Lexie.
“Mommy...mommy how bad?”
“It’s bad. Callie and Link are working on him now.”
Carly forced most of the tears away, wiping the few stray ones that had fallen. “C-can you tell Shawn to pick me up? We’re leaving in 30 minutes.”
After hanging up with her mom and boarding the plane, she had found her seat, the first class window seat, right near the front of the plane. Her bag stuffed underneath the seat in front of her and her head back, hands rested on her stomach as she reminded herself to breathe. 
Until she heard it.
Next to her, the man was watching ESPN, in particular, a recap from the game came on and showed a replay of the game. Carly knew she shouldn’t have looked. But she did.
And she immediately grabbed the air sick bag from the seat back pocket and got sick. 
Not from the image or some weird unexplained phantom pain, but from the sureness that her best friend would likely never make it pro like he had dreamed of for years. From knowing that her best friend would wake up, in pain and mad.
But he sure as hell wouldn’t be alone. An hour later and she was bolting from her seat, bypassing everything and walking out of the airport to the arrivals, seeing her twin standing by his car. A deep breath and a moment to steady herself and before she could say a word, his arms were around her. 
“Let’s go.” She nodded into his shoulder and got into the car, putting on her seatbelt and stuffing the bag under her feet. Her brother drove well over the speed limit, getting them there in an astonishing 7 minutes, less than half the time it should have taken them. But before she knew it, she was running, actually sprinting, through the hospital to get to the place she knew they would be. 
The first one she saw was Nico and he immediately wrapped her in his arms. Her breath was coming out in pants but her arms wrapped tightly around him. She had grown up around them. Nico and Levi were the closest she got to a second set of parents aside from Meredith and Derek. She tightened her hold, pressing her face into the shoulder of his sweatshirt and finally letting go. 
She had held it in for so long, the fear, the pain, the...the agony. She let it all go now, her sobs coming harder and faster. Soon Levi had joined his husband and she was being held by her best friend’s parents, soothed and comforted.
Hours later, she was curled in the corner, her iPad in her lap and the Apple pencil in hand as she journaled every feeling in an attempt to not to think about looking up the video or the news or anything. Nico had turned the TV’s to some kid’s channel and she had spent the first 30 minutes watching some show about cartoon dogs with Australian accents. It was oddly calming. 
When Link and Callie came out, she stood, wringing her hands and standing a distance away before Levi waved her over and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. When they were shown to his room, Carly held back her gasp. Her best friend. He looked...he looked nothing like her Marcus. This Marcus was still and silent. Her ray of sunshine was never still. She joked that he would just burst if made to sit still. 
But still she moved to the side with his good arm and sat in the chair, knees pulled up to her chest and grabbed his hand. 
She didn’t move. She was like that when he woke up. Just sitting beside him, asleep with her head against her knees and his hand in her own. 
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pokemon-teacology · 3 months
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Heyyyy, guess who landed herself in the hospital 🤪
It's me, I did that
I'm okay! Not in any danger and honestly not really hurt that much, I'm okay to keep going to class and I'll be right as rain within a month or so.
But... Uh...
Okay so, remember the whole thing with my two psychic types? Ralter and Flambé have both been fighting Real Bad since they evolved, and honestly since the start of last semester it's gotten pretty awful. So I've been trying more and more extreme measures to get them to get along! But nothing's been working, so I've been wracking my brain for strategies to get them to tolerate one another.
As I was looking through some of my older posts, I came across one in which I sent an ask to someone asking for advice, and they told me that it's likely that the two mons are trying to protect me, and are fighting over who's more capable. I kinda dismissed it at the time, since I considered Chomp as the leader of my Mons and kinda the default protector, and I knew that flambé and ralter respected that, but it was kind of my only option by the time I was rereading.
S o
What I did was that I got my friends (the ones from back home who also go to Naruva) to stand in a circle with their Pokémon, with myself and my two mons in the middle. What I then had my friends do was fire off attacks pointed at my direction while I stood still (we agreed that their Mons would aim for like just past my head or my feet. i specifically didnt move so that there was less of a chance of me getting hit). It was then Ralter and Flambé's job to work Together to defend against the attacks.
They did really well at it, too! After a few minutes of arguing, a wave of razor leaf "almost got me", which got them to stop arguing and start defending again. They seemed to actually kinda enjoy the exercise and got into a really good rhythm. Usually, when they do double battles, they argue too much to get anything done, but I figure now that they had something to protect and Had to work together, they wanted to make it work more.
It went on for like,,, 30 minutes??? Before I called a time-out so that the Mons could take a break, since everyone was looking kinda tired and/or thirsty.
Usually, when we call time-out in the battle club we go to (me and my Mons), everything stops immediately as soon as the whistle blows, so Ralter and Flambé put down their guard straight away, as they were trained to do. What we didn't account for, however, was my buddy's newly-caught pachirisu not quite getting the memo, and continuing to fire attacks. So what I didn't expect, as I started walking to leave the circle, was a full-force electroball hitting me square in the chest.
Which! I just want to say this was absolutely not the mon's fault, it'd just been caught and isn't used to stuff like this. I should have been a bit more cautious and waited for my friends to recall their Pokémon before I started walking, that was my bad completely.
But anyway, it winded me and kinda knocked me to the ground, whoops :/ I managed to hit my head on the way down, too, so my friends called me an ambulance just in case something was wrong.
I've got a mild (very mild!) Concussion and my ribs are bruised, but other than that I got off scot-free! Which is good, considering it was an electric-type attack, so I was expecting to be shocked pretty bad. But! I'm good! They've got me on pain meds, and I'm going to stay here in the hospital for a night of observation before they send me back. Other than some pain while breathing and instructions to rest up and not exert my chest too much, as well as not drinking alcohol while the (again, very mild, totally okay!!!) concussion heals up, I'm totally okay to keep going to class and doing practicals. I'll just have my Mons help me out a little more while im on field trips.
Ralter and Flambé, bless their hearts, have been by my side the entire time. I feel terrible for making them worry like this :( usually I'd recall my Pokémon in a hospital or other government building, but I couldn't bear to do that to them right now, I think they need to be able to see that I'm doing good, y'know?? I've been reassuring them that it wasn't their fault, and that they did Such a good job of protecting me. They'd known it was an exercise and that I wasn't in any real danger, which let them have fun with it, but now that ive actually gotten hrut it seems to have spooked them both kinda bad. I think, once I get back tomorrow, I'm going to have a proper stay-at-home day with my mons in the house, so we can all have a cwtch and chill out after today.
But again! Totally okay, I'm not in any danger or much pain, the pachirisu isnt in any trouble whatsoever, I've got meds and I'm on the road to recovery thanks to the staff at the hospital <33 I just thought I'd give a little update and laugh a little at my silly mistakes.
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yellowbentley · 4 months
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i got her in april 2012. i was in third grade. she was a year old. she was only meant to stay a week and then she never left. oh i hated her at first. i hated her so much. i didnt want a cat, i'd always wanted a dog and instead i got this awful hissy thing that wouldnt go near any of us. i think i may of kicked her a couple times, i really dont remember. if i did, i was a child and i was hurting and i didnt understand and if i did i've already regretted it for years. i locked myself in my parents room and screamed that i wasnt coming out until they got rid of her.
that obviously didnt happen
we just existed in tandem for years and years
she didnt come to me on her own for so long. so long. i always had to chase and scoop her up myself. i wanted a teddy bear and she refused to cooperate. i wrapped her in a blanket but it never lasted long.
i barely even remember anything before 2018. i remember old cat trees, and her falling. i remember my sister got her a catnip stick and i had never seen her with so much energy. i remember she got outside a couple of times. i remember she loved toys on the end of a peice of string
we always cuddled, but i always initiated, and she rarely stayed more then a few minutes
i dont remember when it happened. some time during the deep throes of covid. i was sat pretending to do online classes and she came up and sat on me. put her little front paws up on my leg. with no coaxing. for the very first time
fuck me i felt so lucky
it happened with more and more frequency after that. after that she just became my girl. i got up earlier and planned my mornings around cuddle time because she'd come to me as soon as i got up in the morning.
i had no friends so i would come home from school and it would just be me and her for cuddle time.
in the evenings i would eventually get up and bring her to my room and she'd just sit with me. i didnt need anyone else because i had her beside me.
eventually, i started to show her off. it went from "my family has 2 cats" to "this is MY cat". parents be damned.
i got a job. she figured out i got ready at 1:30 and would come jump up at 1:20 every day like clockwork. i would come home 10 after 11 and she would be at the door. she'd follow me to the bathroom as i changed and downstsirs and back when i got food.
every day. for nearly 2 years
every meaningful event in my life, good or bad, anything at all, i could turn around and she'd be there whether i noticed her or not. one day, something clicked, and i noticed her. and suddenly i needed her. i needed her alot.
most times, it felt like she was my only real companion. the only thing that loved me.
in the nights when i needed something, she would hear my footsteps and follow my every movement until i go back to bed. if i havent picked her up by now i'll leave the door open and she'll join me herself when shes ready. it was never a long wait.
in the evenings, i dont need to bring her in anymore. she looks for me herself. i hear my door creak open and tiny meows and i call 'cmere buddy" and within 10 seconds shes purring in my lap.
eventually there became a time when it became routine to go to the couch first thing in the morning because as soon as i sat down she'd walk over from anywhere in the house to jump up and go to sleep on my lap. on weekends she would come over mid afternoon and sit for hours and hours, long after my switch or phone died or i finished my book and all i had for entertainment was petting her and i was happy like nothing else.
(when my parents saw her come, like a trained dog they only rolled their eyes and muttered unbelievable. i could only laugh.)
i had her trained not to come up until i had a blanket thrown over my lap. sharp little kitty claws.
its mid august. dad asks "what are you gonna do when (i) go away for school and you dont get cuddles anymore?" and all she did was chirp
i started uni. i woke up too early to spare time for cuddles, instead, she twines her way around my feet as i get ready and then meows at me when i open the door from her bed in the entryway.
i get home from uni. i drop my bag, take off my shoes, and pick her up. and we cuddle. sometimes for hours, or atleast until my mom gets a bag of crisps and my cat thinks shes getting treats.
it gets cold. i get home from uni, i add the extra step of taking my sweater off before i pick her up because i cant wear it if its covered in fur and she yells at me every second of the way until im finally able to bring her into my arms.
thats nearly what i did december 5th. i took her outside, took her downstairs, then sat her on my lap. she didnt stay as long as she normally did. i wish she would of. we laid together instead. i got my teddy bear in the end. she allowed this lots the last 2 years.
8 hours later she'd be gone
i can barely walk around at night. its too quiet. i keep my door shut. always shut. theres no reason to leave it ajar anymore. i dont sit on the couch anymore. theres no point. no one to greet me good morning in ways of pitter patters or headbutts or purrs
theres no nice way to end this. she didnt have a nice end either
i miss her so fucking much. for someone who never wanted a cat, who screamed that i wanted her gone. i would do absolutely anything to have her back now. my best friend. my buddy. my girl. my soulmate in the form of a bitchy 8 pound cat.
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katstwistedmind · 5 months
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once again i can never have a good time without something majorly bad happening soon after.
went out with my parents amd a friend for my nameday and had a really good time. but on the way back my mom was obviously drunk and it was funny at first but then she got pissed about smthn with dad and as we were waiting for a taxi she was sitting at the bench nearby and like two minutes later i look and shes GONE and i can't see her anywhere and she couldnt habe gotten that far but we couldn't see her in the direction she should have gone to go home. we kept calling but it wouldnt connect. so i started running ahead. on a full stomach, with not shoes for running. my dad followed behind at a much slower pace. he called me a little later and couldnt fucking believe where ive managed to run. and it wasnt even a striaght line i was zigzaging the streets most likely she would take. past 1am. shes drunk. she could just slip on the shitty pavements that can fuck you in the middle of the day or idk fet jumped by someone. and when i get home nobody answers (neither me or dad had keys) and im taking a minute to take a breath and go back searching and when im about to leave again she answers the door LIKE ARE U KIDDING ME.
she said she told us she was leaving but we ignored her???? TOLD US FROM 50M AWAY WHERE SHE WAS SITTING ON A WINDY NIGHT? and she basically called me an idiot for worrying and went to bed. she baaically exoected me and dad to get a taxi and then wait for her outside the house in the fucking cold.
its 2:30 now. im icing my feet and legs from the knee down, my limbs have been very fucked the past? almost two years now. like i can barely walk too long without hurting for days and now i fucking run for over 30m. my ears are buzzing im still crying. my stomach is a mess. and i also drunk a bit.
like she always fets weird when she drinks but jfc. shes big reason why i generally don't drink apart for a few times a year and only a little.
and now im getting a headache
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psychoticwillgraham · 7 months
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would love to get some mobility aides but my problem is my upper back/shoulders/neck hurting extra fucking bad and idk if there’s anything for that, specifically my neck. also canes don’t work for me bc my legs shake so bad that it feels like my ankles are about to snap, and this is only after a minute or so of standing up. i rlly need a scooter or rollator or something like that, bc I need to sit down. the only things I have rn are grandma’s wheelchair and her rollator (it’s a real nice one too), but I refuse to use them bc they were hers and it just feels…. Weird for me to use them. but I’m constantly broke so these are my only options.
i mean, im pretty sure that grandma wouldn’t mind if I had to use her stuff, bc they’re both just sitting there gathering dust and she was the kindest person who would’ve given the shirt off her back to someone in need, so I think she’d like for me to use them bc I rlly need them and she’d like that bc it’s saving money.
still can’t bring myself to do it, but now with the influx of tourists who make the coffee shop standing room only with at least 30-40 ppl at a time crowding the space of the coffee pickup section, I can’t stand longer than five minutes max now. and everyone sits on the ONE bench in the back and I can never get it. at this point I don’t even care if ppl stare or confront me. the baristas see that I struggle to stand up now and they know I’m getting worse (hell now my feet are randomly giving out while walking and I’ve nearly fallen about five times in public now). hell, I was walking Chloe this morning and my right foot spasmed and had a stabbing pain and I had to grab onto the side of the house to keep myself upright. it happened THREE MORE times on the walk and luckily she was ready to go in after that.
shits steadily getting worse, but I’ve had to put it on the back burner bc her heart issues are far more important. I’ll eventually (probably by December or January) have to start using a wheelchair most likely, but I’d rather suffer than let mom die. good news tho: no more seizures!!
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sofiiel · 10 months
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CH. 30 | The Moonlight
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Mick and Axel entered the factory, bearing food, the scent of pizza caused everyone asleep to wake like zombies from the dirt. Myrtle giggled as she watched them rise.
"Oh, I love you guys," Gareth said in groggy glee as he stumbled to his feet and headed towards the tables in the middle of the main floor.
Myrtle looked about as everyone went to gather a slice of Pizza. Eddie and Angel were still nowhere to be seen, but they weren't who she was worried for. They could handle themselves well enough on their own.
"Has anyone seen Gail?" Myrtle asked as Rick brought her a slice of Pizza.
"She went out for a walk some time ago." He said.
Myrtle got to her feet, Pizza in hand, supported on some napkins. "I'm going to go see if I can find her, she's got to be starved too," she said.
"Alone?" Jeff asked cautiously.
Myrtle shrugged, "would you come at me looking like this?" She asked, holding out her extra arms.
Jeff shook his head, "good point." he said.
"Besides, Eddie and Angel are wandering about somewhere," Myrtle added, before heading off.
"Just don't step outside!" Rick called after her. He sighed, "these kids are gonna turn me gray." Rick muttered.
Axel and Funshine looked at Rick's hair, "um... I got some bad news for you." Axel said.
Myrtle, wandered the dark halls of the factory, "Gail?" she called, it was better not to shout, so she simply spoke out. It was strangely quiet in the old building, her feet echoing down the hallways.
"I've um...got you some pizza. Everyone's digging in...Rick sent Mick and Axel for food and..." Myrtle continued talking. She wasn't sure, but she could have sworn she felt someone nearby. Though no one appeared to be around.
"I'm not sure when you last ate." Myrtle said.
Myrtle jumped as she heard a door close, it was faint, but it was close enough. "Gail?" she questioned. 
Moonlight flooded into the hall from the tall window, looking out down at the parking lot below. Myrtle sighed in defeat and took a moment to think of where to go next.
Light footsteps echoed, but were quickly overtaken by heavier steps and a creaking door.
"Myrtle?" Eddie asked, spotting her down the hall. 
"Eddie?" she questioned, "so it was just you." she said.
"Ouch," Eddie said, his face twisted as if she'd hurt his feelings before he smiled lightly at her.
"Oh, I didn't mean it li-"
"I know." he sang with a playful face as he teetered his head back and forth. Myrtle returned his smile.
"Um... I was wondering if you had a minute." Eddie asked, his voice falling into a more serious tone.
Myrtle's heart dropped, "what happened?" she asked quickly taking a step towards him.
"Whoa," Eddie exhaled holding her shoulders gently, "no, nothing happened, I didn't mean to scare you." he chuckled.
Leaning against the wall, Eddie kicked the dust on the ground. "I just wanted to talk to you about something." He said.
"But you sound so...serious," Myrtle said, concern in her eyes. "You're sure nothing happened? I saw you speak to Angel before walking off." Myrtle confessed.
Eddie peered up at her with his head still lowered.
His eyes watching her unhindered thanks to short lashes. Eddie's large eyes were like staring through the door into a lightless room, only to see something shine deep within, flickering. It was endless and it held her there.
"I'm sure, but," Eddie spoke in a careful lull. Slowly standing up straight as, he leaned his head back against the wall. Now peering down at her.
"He's trying to make my heart burst, I know he is." Myrtle thought. 
"I am serious," he said holding out his hand.
Myrtle looked down at it, and much to Eddie's delight, three of her hands reached for his. He laughed softly as she tried to refocus, and eventually took it with her right main hand.
With a slight tug, He pulled her closer.
"This isn't doing anything for my adrenaline." Myrtle thought, unable to look away from his eyes. "Like they want to swallow me." she murmured quietly.
Eddie gave a smile, and it slowly grew wider as he knew he wasn't supposed to hear that. 
Leaning down towards her, he whispered, "what is?"
Myrtle froze, "well shit..." she thought. She forced a playful glare, "stop teasing me." she said.
Eddie chuckled and tilted his head. A sweetly coy smile on his lips as his voice deepened, and his hand fiddled with her fingertips. "But it's so much fun."  he said, with a subtle shake of his head.
Myrtle glared through her blush, which she was certain he could see in the moonlight.
"Eddie." Myrtle said, trying to stay stern, but the strength had left her voice.
Eddie laughed, He couldn't fight that face or the sound of his name from her mouth.  Sighing, he took both of her main hands in his. With a lick of his lips, Eddie let his teeth sink into his bottom lip, drawing it in as he felt jitters in his stomach. 
"Ok...well um, here it is...." He started slowly, "I...." He gave her hands a shake, his eyes flickering up to meet hers, "I like you." He said lowly. "....more than a little," Eddie added. 
Looking down at her hands, he rubbed them gently with his thumbs. "And I didn't think - well, I didn't think there was another girl out there that could make me feel, like this." Eddie paused, "you know?" He asked.
Myrtle stood wide-eyed with her jaw locked shut as he looked into her eyes again, waiting for her to say something.
"You, you probably don't know." He in a sigh of breathy laughter, feeling all his nerves in the form of swarming butterflies.
"I just...after....um today, well-" Eddie quickly corrected himself, "the last couple of days," He rambled giving her a break from his gaze
Eddie focused on the Corroded Coffin shirt she wore. 
He then laughed at himself, "I'm really bad at words when it comes to this stuff." He said scornfully, taunting himself in a scoff.
"Please say something." Eddie pleaded, he couldn't look up at her, and Myrtle was left with her mind in a tussle of different emotions.
"Eddie..." she said quietly. "You don't want me." 
Eddie's brows knitted together with determination, and he shook his head, "I don't care about the arms, or the powers, or the weird mad scientists or whatever." Eddie said quickly.
Myrtle exhaled and licked her drying lips, "My dad, would never -"
"Forgive me, but your old man can fuck right off," Eddie said, looking up at her. His arm rested carefully in the curve of her neck as he held her cheek. 
"Your uncle, works under him, Eddie. He can and will make your lives' hell." Myrtle murmured.
Eddie shook his head, "Why? Anyway it wouldn't matter it's not like we're not used to that, Uncle Wayne will be fine." he said. "I get that I'm not any dad's initial pick for his daughter's date." Eddie chuckled.
"But you speak as though you're scared," Eddie said softly. One hand on her cheek and the older on her shoulder, he bent down to look Myrtle in the eye.
"I am." Myrtle thought. 
Her father wanted her spotless as if waiting to hand her away to the highest bidder, she was his best bribe in his circle of the most corrupt men in Hawkins. They could do what they like with her for a favor in return - but not with their bodies, nothing further than a kiss. 
She'd never dated, the furious look in her father's eyes the last time she even mentioned someone was cute ended that.
Myrtle looked down at her hands. "He's well-connected." Myrtle sighed.
Eddie gave a chuckle, "hello? Sweet turtle, have you forgotten what's gone on since we've been here?" Eddie asked.
"I got shocked with a cattle stick, and some manic woman opened up a portal to get you," he said. Eddie moved his hand to her chin and lifted it.
"Can he get any worse than that?" He asked her.
"I like you." Eddie whispered, nudging her nose with his own. He offered a faint smile as he studied her face. 
"And I think," Eddie lulled with a sly be it slightly nervous smile, "you might like me too." He said.  
Myrtle tried desperately to avoid his eyes as they battled to hold her gaze. Eddie exhaled, resigning to the fact he wasn't going to get any more words from her. She was trying to shut him out.
"Can't let you do that." He thought, tilting his head to follow her gaze, Eddie leaned forward.
Warmth spread through Myrtle's lips as Eddie lightly pressed his against them. Her lungs inflated as she drew in a long, sharp breath.
On instinct, Myrtle moved back, but Eddie instantly moved with her, his fingertips barely touching the side of her jaw, yet holding her still all the same.
"Come on," he thought, lightly running his tongue along the line where her lips remained sealed. His heartbeat rushed, he could feel it in his chest and hear it in his ears.
Eddie took her hand, and rested it against his chest, over his heart.
Myrtle could feel it pounding like the hooves of a wild horse against her palm. Eddie ran his tongue against her lips again, asking again. 
She could feel him exhale quick and sharp in a huff of air, his mouth quivered into a frown and his fingertips slipped away from her jaw.
The thought of him pulling away shook Myrtle from her paralysis, "Don't" she thought. 
Leaning forward, she carefully opened her mouth, Myrtle's hand pressed against his chest, and his grip around said hand tightened.
Myrtle's main left hand rested gently near Eddie's neck, and her secondary arms reached for his hair. 
Eddie's hand caressed Myrtle's cheek as his tongue slipped into her mouth. No, it wasn't great, both had been running and trapped for days, But each found themselves melting as, god, was it sweet. 
The feeling of hands playing in his hair slowly faded, Myrtle could feel the arms retracting back under the skin, the unsettling feeling was painted over in a warm gentle wave of tingles down her spine as Eddie took hold of her tongue, lightly sucking on it.
Myrtle's face burned with a blush Eddie would feel against his own face. He laughed lightly into the kiss, and opening his eyes, he pulled away.
Myrtle's lips went to chase his, but her eyes flew open as she realized it.
"Oh...." she exhaled, and her blush worsened as she looked into his eyes.
Eddie smirked, and leaned down, granting her a soft short peck.
His hand slipped down to the small of her back, and the other went to touch her face again. He couldn't wipe the giddy grin off his face as he leaned his head back against the wall. Peering down at her through eyes narrowed into a curve as they smiled, glinting with fading moonlight.
"That was so much better than a yes, by the way." He said.
Myrtle slowly looked down at the pizza and napkin on the floor. Eddie laughed quietly, feeling his chest rise and fall in little tremors, reminded Myrtle of how close they were to each other.
"Looks like we fixed your arm problem," Eddie said, drawing her attention back to himself.  "Just needed an outlet for all that energy," he whispered.
"Looks like Angel was right about that," he added in a lower murmur.
"Like the kiss at The Hideout," Myrtle whispered.
"soooo," Eddie sang, still holding a pleased smile on his face.  "When we get back home, I'm wondering...." He said pausing.
Myrtle searched his face, stuck in mild suspense. "Wondering?" Myrtle asked, causing his smile to grow.
"Myrtle McKinney my lovely Lady Tinúviel, would you go on a date with me? " Eddie asked, resting his hand on his chest, "Your humbly smitten mortal man." He added.
"You're just trying to get my face to burn away now." Myrtle grumbled.
"Never," Eddie hummed, "I love your face." He chuckled.
"so, what say you?" Eddie asked.
Myrtle nodded her head, "yeah." she said.
Eddie exhaled a breath. "Good because I had no plan C if all that failed." he said, causing her to giggle as he leaned in for another short kiss, which was followed by yet another, and another.
He found he couldn't stop, and her giggles fed the need to keep going.
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In the back of a room, standing in the light from the open windows with the door closed tight, Gail lingered. A necklace she'd never thought she'd hold again balled up within her hand. Her gaze fixed to the fawning pair of silhouettes out in the hallway.
Her eyes were pained as she leaned against the old table, and yet, she felt strangely numb.
She was glad for the smile on his face, even if she wasn't the one who caused it. Feeling not unlike a ghost left to fade in the background.
Gail sighed, and flicked the stray tear from her eye. Forcing herself to stop looking as she went to find an alternate route back to where everyone had camped out. She would wander out once everyone had settled back to sleep and return herself to Loxion.
"You don't belong here anymore," she told herself.
The thought hurt a lot more than she thought it would.
Meanwhile, outside, Angel gazed aimlessly into the flickering fire in the small trash bin before him. Still trying to simmer down the vexation that still lingered within him.
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All he could see was how Eddie had not backed down, and the way Myrtle had looked into his more monstrous side in the gate.
Angel clawed at his knees through his jeans. No, part of him didn't want to go against Eddie, but the hunger he had to be close to a kindred soul was making the thought of backing down nearly impossible, unthinkable.
Clawing more, nearly tearing through the denim, as he cast a glance towards the window, where he'd just watched Eddie blatantly make a strong move against him.
Angel touched his lip, recalling when he'd kissed Myrtle in the Hideout. The feeling still lingered in a memory on his skin. Even the aftershock that sent him sliding back onto the floor. Angel shut his eyes and removed his hand and took a deep breath.
Eddie led Myrtle back into the main floor of the factory, his fingers laced in hers. She tried to linger behind him, but he lightly coaxed her to walk at his side.
Luckily the boys were fast asleep, Kali simply smiled her way as she finally went to rest herself.
"Was she waiting up for us?" Myrtle thought, she was terrifying at first, but Kali was far more gentle than she let on.
Eddie walked Myrtle to where she'd left her blanket, and helped her make a place to lay.
He hovered at her side and stroked her hair, "I'm just over there" he said quietly, placing a kiss on Myrtle's temple, she could feel the smirk on his face. Amused at himself, He couldn't stop touching her.
"Should you miss me." He teased.
Myrtle's heart skipped a beat with a heavy thump.
"Shhh" she whispered, Amy's sleeping." she said, Eddie looked over to Amy and backed off glancing at his watch.
"Good morning Myrtle." Eddie whispered. "Night Ed-"
Moving quickly, Myrtle felt his bangs brush against her as he kissed her cheek yet again
"-ddie..." she peeped.
"Go to bed!" she hissed in a whisper.
He threw his hands up in the air, "alright, alright." he laughed, getting to his feet and heading towards his place near the boys.
Myrtle closed her eyes and tried to calm her restless heart, though the memory of their kiss lingered on her skin and in her mind, leaving an unwavering smile on her face.
"Bleh. Barf me out, would you." Amy muttered, rolling over to look at Myrtle.
"Y-you're awake?" Myrtle stammered.
"Unfortunately," Amy teased. "So?" Amy pressed, shrugging her shoulders.
"Not now Amy." Myrtle sighed.
"You can't come back acting like newlyweds, and not give details," Amy whispered.
Myrtle rolled her eyes, and rolled over, turning her back to Amy. "we weren't acting like newlyweds." Myrtle murmured.
Her eyes fell on Eddie who was settling down, he had decided to look at her too, "it's just..." Myrtle thought to herself. "I've never felt like this." she thought, closing her eyes again, filling her thoughts with the look in his eyes as she let sleep take her.
"Gail!"
Myrtle was jolted awake by the sound of Rick's shouting, she leaned over and gave Amy a shake, "wake up, Amy!" she called.
Amy groaned and sat up in a groggy daze.
"Gail!" Rick shouted, "I'm gonna count to three, and you'd better come out from hiding!" He shouted like an angry father.
"What?" Eddie asked, rubbing his eyes, "GAIL! Damn it!" Eddie shouted, sleepily raging while he tried his best to wake up.
"Damn it, I wanted the end of that dream!" Eddie fussed, pulling his blanket over himself.
Jeff snickered  "dude." He laughed.
Eddie shook the hair out of his face, cheeks tenting a soft pink as he looked toward Myrtle.
"Did she never come back?" Myrtle asked Rick, getting to her feet.
"From her walk last night?" Eddie asked carefully.
"That's because she left." Angel answered, entering the room from the front door to the factory.
"Wait, you saw her?" Rick asked.
Angel shrugged, "yeah, she just went to the phone booth, made a call, and road off into the sunset in a black car." he hummed.
"And you didn't stop her?" Rick asked, clearly taken back.
"She's not my responsibility anymore, Rick." Angel shot.
"A black car?" Myrtle asked, worry crossing her face.
"Oh shit." Amy murmured, the two girls looking at each other.
"No, oh shit, what, oh shit?" Rick questioned.
"Loxion." Doris said with a scowl. "She must have gone back," she said.
"Why would she do that?" Kali asked.
Scott and Jeff began to fidget awkwardly, while Eddie turned to look at Myrtle, who looked at him mortified.
"Did...did she see?" She questioned herself. 
Angel glanced between the two of them and then laughed, "oh, that's too good." he mused.
"So she saw you too." Angel smirked.
"What do you mean, saw us too?" Myrtle asked, her stomach dropping to her toes.
Angel gave her a gently bitter smile, "next time steer clear of the large window, little fairy." he said.
Myrtle would have blushed if guilt wasn't tugging at her. "This is terrible." Myrtle said, "We need to go find her." she said.
"And how do we do that?" Gareth asked.
"Well...maybe they'll try and make the trade again?" Myrtle asked.
"Nope!" Eddie called, "no, that went to hell real fast last time." He said.
"It would be best we not put Myrtle anywhere near them. But if they ask for a swap, maybe we can trick them into believing we are?" Kali questioned.
"What are you thinking?" Doris asked her.
"I can try to cast an illusion on Amy to look like Myrtle," Kali said. "But I'm not sure how we'd grab Gail and run."  she said.
"Are we even sure she'd want to come back?" Angel asked.
"We're not leaving her here to th-those people," Myrtle said indignantly.
Angel sighed, "If you ask of me, I won't say no." He said.
"Suck up." Eddie muttered under his breath. 
"Have something you want to share with the class, Munson?" Angel called out.
"Hey! You two! Stop it. You're partly the cause of this mess." Rick scolded them. 
"She had her eyes trained on Eddie, Rick. He botched it, sucking the face off of the poor Fairy, in the window for the world to see." Angel seethed.
"I mean," Eddie's eyes kept glancing towards Myrtle, her eyes begged him not to say anything, to stop right there. But he itched to break Angel's face.
Eddie clenched his jaw tight, "just shut up, mouth stay shut." he thought to himself. 
Myrtle walked to his side, "Eddie this might be our fault." she whispered, "I thought I heard something down that hall before you walked in." she said looking up into his eyes.
Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, "shit." He sighed, stroking her hair once as if to ease her worry.
"How are we supposed to know how to reach these people?" Mick asked.
"Simple. Think about it, Gail contacting them compromised our location, right?" Rick asked, looking over the young faces. " We just send Myrtle-"
"-decoy Myrtle." Angel corrected.
"Yes, Angel, thank you." Rick said in annoyance.
"- to walk down the block, once we spot them lurking, and they will be. They should contact us or at the very least lead us to where they want us." Rick said.
Kali shook her head, "I don't like that plan, it leaves us all far too open." she said.
"What other options do we have, though?" Doris asked.
"Doris has a point." Scott said.
"So one group of us follows with the decoy, and then what? The rest of us just lay in wait?" Jeff asked.
"Pretty much, try to surround wherever we end up. We'll need either Angel or Doris on the inside and the other outside. So everyone is covered." Rick said.
"Funshine and Axel can guard the outside while Kali and Mick go in," he said.
Doris took a step toward Kali, "then I'll be the inside heavy." she said, placing her arm around Kali's shoulders.
"I can post up between the real Myrtle and everyone else." Angel said. "Although," he lightly touched his neck. "It won't be anything like when I was on the other side." He thought, his eyes landing on Myrtle.
Myrtle bit her lip, she wished she could be of more help. "I've got to learn how to control these powers." she thought to herself.
Holding out her hand, she flexed her fingers, her mind trying to will something to happen, but nothing did.
Angel snickered quietly as he watched her.
Eddie's eyes stayed on Angel in the meantime, leaning over he nuzzled Myrtle's temple. 
"Oh!" Myrtle gasped, surprised.
The moment she jumped, a small spark fizzled across her fingertips, but only for a moment.
Eddie looked at her hand with wide eyes, "whoa." he breathed with a smile. 
He looked at her, entertained with what he just saw, and then back to her hand. He took her fingers and held them up towards his face.
"Did I cause that or?" He asked.
Angel rolled his eyes, "don't bank on it, she was trying to focus. Myrtle probably did it on her own." he reasoned.
"Don't worry about trying to do anything just yet, Myrtle. You will have time to hone your abilities later." Kali said.
"Yeah, right now, you should focus on not getting caught." Amy said.
"Everyone get ready, collect yourselves, and then we'll give this a try." Rick announced.
Myrtle looked between Amy, Eddie, and Angel uneasily.
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2-kamikou-1 · 1 year
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vent under cut
this is like a really stupid thing to vent about but i dont care i need to say it.
im actually so sick of this. I know feet get callouses and that's relatively normal and common because of pressure and whatnot. But i can live with callouses. I have been living with callouses and they have done nothing to affect my life.
What i cannot live with is the fact that these callouses, lately, have been cracking and splitting. I have so many goddamn open wounds on my feet. They sting. They hurt so fucking bad.
And like, for a while it was only one, just one little wound on my foot, barely deep enough to be a scratch, it'd be fine, i thought, it'll heal.
No. It didn't. It only got deeper and more painful. Then another one on my other foot, and then a couple more on both.
I don't know why this is happening. At first i figured it was because of pressure and stretching and the like because the first two i got were on the balls of my feet (around the area below my big toe), but they've literally just started popping up everywhere where my foot touches the floor, even on some of my toes.
But what i do know is that I'm sick and tired of this. I'm tired of waking up and having to take like 30 minutes before i get up and walk because my feet feel like they're throbbing and if i walk im going to wobble and limp and be in so much pain and even after that 30 minutes it hurts to walk.
I can almost never get on my trampoline because i have to go back inside after 10 minutes because jumping makes these cuts sting.
I'm tired of wanting to walk places and being in pain the whole damn time. I'm tired of having to brace myself for fucking shooting pains up to my knees before i stand up. I'm tired of bandaging them only for it to not help and the bandaids to come off.
It's gotten to the point where I've literally decided to use these huge bandaids on my foot and fucking scotch tape then around my foot because that is the only way they will stay on. "oh but tape adhesive is bad for you" I DON'T CARE IT EASES THE PAIN.
And like i don't want this. I don't want to do things that are bad for me. But it feels like my only choice. I can't tell my parents about it and ask them to take me to the doctor they never take me seriously.
this is just fucking. ugh.
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evisxerate · 2 years
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Gonna use this acc/site to talk abt body stuff bc I don't rly feel as comfortable anywhere else and it's bothering me a lot, but like. I've gotten to the point where I have to be sitting pretty much my entire shift at work and this progression or whatever has kinda been stressing me out. I can't stand for v long in general w/o numbness, pain, pinching(?) (feels like my feet/ankles are covered in fire ants), swaying, nausea, exhaustion, shit like that. Standing is literally so fucking exhausting, and I can't even deny it or try to push through it at this point. A couple times lately I've tried to stand at the beginning of my shift but it's pretty much instant pain, and it all gets worse until I have to sit after like 10 minutes, usually even sooner and 30 minutes tops if I try to power through. I can still get up and walk around the store when I need to but my legs have been either numb/stiff or strained (something that's been happening in general w/ walking lately, it feels like I pulled the muscles in both my legs or something, and I can't stay balanced) when doing it lately? :') it's super not fun to come to the realization that this isn't just going away, and it seems like it's getting worse, along w/ my hip/knee/ankle pain being worse and more frequent
This all doubly sucks bc the only way I can sit at work is on the counter. I have to use our stepladder to get up to it and off of it, and even when I'm sitting the pain is genuinely excruciating. My back it totally fucked and the pain doesn't go away, it's been giving me headaches, and my legs continuously go numb or get tingly, especially bc I have to have them crossed somehow
This all just sucks rly fucking bad and its really confusing bc I don't know why this is happening? A friend tried to say it's bc I don't get up and move around a lot but that's incredibly untrue. I've been moving more lately than I have in a long time, I'm constantly going up and down stairs, I have to cross the mall I work at often, I'm out and about way more, I'm almost never in bed unless I'm sleeping. I'm so much more active and in some ways it's actually been helpful. I genuinely don't think it would make any sense for the explanation for this shit to be bc I'm "not moving around enough". I know myself and I know what I've been doing even if it doesn't look that way on the outside?? Like I'm fucking moving and doing things fucking constantly, and I'd sit/lay down more if I could. Its hard for me to wanna blame the pain and problems on being more active too tho
This shit is all just so frustrating, and there's not even rly anything I can do. My cane doesn't really help anymore, it hurts my wrist more than anything, and I have no other aid or medication or anything that helps. I fr don't know how to deal w/ this lol
And I'm still sitting here being like "I don't think my pain is enough to warrant calling myself disabled" and "because I'm not diagnosed w/ anything it doesn't count" which is honestly probably bullshit?
Anyways I have like 3 1/2 hours left of this shift and I feel like death lmao
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mindofharry · 3 years
Note
Stepdadrry pleaseeeee ❤️❤️❤️❤️
A small little angsty blurb of harry having to deal with a moody child for the first time! enjoy!
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Being a dad is something harry has always wanted.
It’s something he’s dreamt about. So when he met you, it was like fate. You two had met at a museum, Y/N was doing the tours and harry was new to town. Harry had been looking for a home for quite a long time and finally found a good one. The only downside was it was in a small village — or maybe it was good. When Harry first moved, he realised everyone in the village knew everyone. So when Harry permanently moved in, he was the talk of the town.
It died down after a few weeks, but he felt like a proper celebrity.
After finding a job in a local café, Harry went exploring and came across Y/N’s small museum. It was nothing fancy, but it looked like the town came together and put this museum up with historical facts about the village. It was something super special, and harry was glad he got to be apart of this.
When he first saw Y/N, his heart practically burst out of his chest. Harry bit his lip and his eyes widened as she turned around from behind the desk. Her long hair was in neat braids, and she was wearing this beautiful yellow sun dress. Y/N had paint on her hands and arms and a flower tucked behind her ear. There was one word to describe Y/N and that word was; perfect.
“Are you new to town? I haven’t seen you around before” Y/N asked with a big smile, maybe because she was so excited a new person was here or because he was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.
“Yeah, I moved here two weeks ago. You’re the first person to have an actual conversation with me” Harry said leaning against the wall. Y/N shook her head and took the flower out of her hair placing it on his harry coat pocket.
“Well, aren’t you lucky?”
And Harry was.
After asking her on a date he knew she was the one. Y/N is kind, selfless and so funny. He found is other match. On the third date, Y/N seemed nervous. Like she was itching to tell him something. Harry then started to get anxious, thinking this is it, this is the time she breaks up with me. So the night was tense, everyone felt it. When dinner was over, Harry drove you back to his and opened up a bottle of wine trying to ease the tension a little.
“I… I have to tell you something” Y/N said and put the glass of wine on the table. Harry nodded his head and took a deep breath in, preparing himself for the worst.
“I have a kid”
A kid?
Harry started to laugh.
“Baby, that’s what you were so afraid to tell me?” He giggled and Y/N nodded looking down at her feet. Harry sighed and placed his wine on the table, then lifting Y/N into his lap placing both of his hands on her cheeks.
“I do not care if you have children, Y/N. I like you and whatever comes with you. Tell me about them”
Y/N’s child is a boy, River, fours year old and a total sweetheart. He’s so smart and has the best manners. His dad is still in the picture, but he works a lot so he doesn’t get to see River as much as he’d like to. But there’s no bad blood between Y/N and River’s dad, the relationship just didn’t work out. But Y/N’s glad she’s gotten a second chance, because she’s found her soulmate. Some people aren’t ready to take on that role, and she’d never put anyone in that position unless they 110% ready for it. She knows River will absolutely love Harry.
Harry knew about River now, it was like a weight had lifted off of Y/N’s chest and she could fully relax now.
She wanted Harry to meet River as soon as possible, but she needed to wait it out a bit just in case something were to happen. She doesn’t want to introduce them and only for her and Harry to break up in a couple of weeks. It would be too confusing for everyone, so Harry and River didn’t meet until two months after Harry and Y/N made it official. Y/N had been dropping hints for those months, and River seems to like his dad’s girlfriend, so she thought now was the right time to do it.
“Hi buddy! I’m Harry” Harry introduced himself, giving River the teddy bear he picked up on the way here. Y/N smiled to herself as River hugged Harry. That surprised Harry a bit, but he quickly reciprocated the warm hug with a huge grin.
“You and mumma are together like daddy and Sandra?” River asked and Harry looked up to Y/N, she nodded.
“Yeah, we are together. Is that alright with you?”
River smiled and nodded, “Only if you watch Toy story with me.”
As time went on, River got more comfortable with Harry and vice versa. He didn’t call him dad or anything, nobody would force him to. But they do have special nicknames for each other and River once called Harry his best friend — which totally melted Y/N’s heart.
Harry is a such a great step dad. Y/N could ask for anyone better. He constantly supports Y/N and River in everything, and is just the best person to be around.
Harry and Y/N got married two years into their relationship when River turned six.
It’s been a tough year for River, since he just started school and is finding it hard to make friends. Y/N has talked to the school and they’ve said that this is very normal, and they’re going to encourage him and look after him every step of the way. Y/N has been looking for play therapists for days, but she’s still not sure on the idea.
But River has been acting out. Taking it out on Y/N and not being very nice to her. Harry hates it, he’s tried to tell him off in the nicest way possible, but he’s just not cut out for being bad cop. Usually Y/N says she can handle it, and she does.
But today was different.
After dropping River off at school Y/N and Harry decided to go out for brunch. Y/N hasn’t been herself with River in a mood, so Harry wanted to treat his wife to something nice. Something to cheer her up a little.
“Nice to see you smiling,” Harry said kissing her temple.
“Just worried about him. He’s never been like this before.”
“How about I talk to him? Tell him his behaviour is unacceptable. I hate seeing you so upset, baby.” Harry said and Y/N sighed pecking his lips.
“His dad is away on a work thing, so I guess me and you and can talk to him together? I just don’t want him to think this behaviour is ok, but I just wish his dad was here more often” Y/N stressed, Harry pulled her chair closer to his, placing both of his hands on her cheeks calming her slightly.
“We’ll talk to him after dinner. Together.”
And so dinner finally came and Harry was a little nervous, he’s not going to lie. Usually if Rivers being bold Y/N handles it, but he’s not usually like this — but they get it, going to big school is a huge change. River just needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable, but if he ever needs to talk about anything then they’ll be here.
��River, Harry and I need to talk to you.” Y/N said as River tried to disappear up to his room.
River shrugged and continued to walking.
“Buddy, your mums talking to you” Harry said placing a hand on Y/N’s hand. River pouted, but still stood in his spot. “Why don’t you come back over and sit with us?” Harry said and River shook his head. Y/N sighed placing a hand on her forehead, blinking away the tears.
“Fine, we’ll do this here then.”
“There’s something going on with you and we want to help. Your behaviour has been unacceptable the last couple of weeks. We just want to know what’s going on, ok? Mummy and Harry are here to help.”
River groaned and walked towards the table. “I don’t want to talk.” He said and Y/N nodded.
“That’s ok. You don’t have to talk to us right now. But you need to know that you can’t be cheeky with us like that anymore. It’s upsetting, River. If it keeps going on, they’ll be punishments and you don’t like them do you?” Y/N said trying to reason with him.
River was having absolutely none of this. Harry could tell. He didn’t want to get in the middle of Y/N’s parenting, but he didn’t want them to fight or end up saying something they’d regret.
“Riv, we just want to help-“
“Stop talking to me, you’re not even my real dad. You’ll be out of here in no time” River yelled, running out of the room.
It was quiet and Harry let out a little laugh, Y/N placed a hand on his and started to profusely apologise.
“I’m so sorry, Harry. I don’t know what’s gotten into him, you were just trying to help I get that. I’m so sorry”
Harry shook his head and sighed, “He’s right, i’m not his real dad. Was just trying to deescalate the situation. Bad move on my part” Harry said throwing the napkin on his plate.
“No, this is not on you. You did the same exact thing I would’ve.”
Y/N went to move, but harry put his hand in the air. “He’s angry, let’s just leave him for a bit. Let him calm down, then i’ll go talk to him.”
“You’re a good dad, Harry.” Y/N said kissing his forehead before bringing the plates over to the sink.
Harry let River calm down for about 30 minutes and then made Y/N a cup of tea. He didn’t like her being so anxious. After that, he made his way upstairs to Rivers room. The door had a note on it saying “Harry and mummy keep out”. He laughed to himself, before knocking on the door. There was a small grumble, so harry let himself in and leaned against the door frame. River was playing with his toys like nothing happened.
“Wanna play with me Harry?” River asked passing him a toy.
Harry sighed and sat down next to River.
“You know what you said really hurt my feelings?” Harry said and River pouted.
“And you’re behaviour has really upset mummy. Made her cry.” Harry said and River put down his car toy. “Just don’t like the school. Makes me nervous.” River said and Harry nodded placing the boy in his lap.
“And why does it make you nervous?”
“Because no one wants to be my friend, Harry.”
Harry sighed and kissed Rivers head.
“You know, me and mummy are going to go up to the school and yell so loud at the teachers” Harry joked and River giggled into harry’s chest.
“Harry?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry i said you’re not my real dad. You are my dad.” River said and Harrys eyes filled up with tears.
“I love you, River”
“Love you too”
“Now let’s go give mumma a kiss before she gets jealous.”
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iwadori · 3 years
Note
Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.
can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)
Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto
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Part One Part Two Part Three
Word count: 2.6K
Genre: angst, fluff
masterlist
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Ushijima
You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.
Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  
“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  
He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks
“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.
“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”
His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.
As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  
Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.
Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.
You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  
When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.
You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.
You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.
Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.
The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’
He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.
He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.
You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  
“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  
“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain
“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.
“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  
“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”
You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  
Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.
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Bokuto  
The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  
Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  
You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.
The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.
When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  
You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  
It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.
On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  
On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”
Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.
Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.
You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.
Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.
They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  
One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.
‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  
He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  
He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.
You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  
“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  
You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  
“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said
The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.
Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.
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