#i pulled out the 'he's coming for me' at the WORST TIME during dnd (being saved from bein swallowed by a sea serpent)

[lovevalley45]

do y'all ever pull a reference out of ur ass to smth so specific and it's like. this is 95% for me n my own enjoyment and no one else's

#alli says shit #sdcc 2017 legends panel u remain iconic #i pulled out the 'he's coming for me' at the WORST TIME during dnd (being saved from bein swallowed by a sea serpent)

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! Reader)

Synopsis- It’s been 4 months since you last saw Astarion and 3 months since you killed the Netherbrain with your other companions. Shortly after, you settled down in Silverymoon to begin a life out there and try to push Astarion out of your mind- except it can never be that easy. You shortly discover you are pregnant with his child- a child that could kill you during childbirth. Scared and alone- Shadowheart stays with you to help you deliver the baby and keep you alive.

While out at the local market, Shadowheart runs into Gale and invites him over for dinner. Gale has unexpected company.

CW: Pregnancy, mentions of potential death during birth, mentions of nudity, mentions of NSFW smut

To my fellow DND fans- no this is probably not canon compliant, yes I’m upset about that, but look I really needed to write this so sue me I guess

Author note- Self indulgent, I have baby fever, but don’t want a baby fic. I’m unsure of how long this will be or if it will have more parts-it depends on how angsty I feel, but I need to have like six different ideas to think about at a time soooo 😂

*This hasn’t been edited ✨well✨so please forgive me

*again, no fucking clue who’s picture it is, but it sure as shit isn’t mine so if it’s yours- reach out so I can give credit!

You keep yourself propped up against the sink in the kitchen as Shadowheart holds your hair out of your face and dabbing away the cold sweat that drips down your neck.

You are really sick of being morning sick. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world- well besides your potential death from carrying your little girl inside of you. You sometimes think Astarion may get his wish- you may just die screaming.

You dry heave one last time- not a single thing comes up because you haven’t kept a single thing down since two mornings ago. Your morning sickness is inconsistent and comes on with little to no warning.

It’s been five months since you conceived this fricken kid, but it was like all the symptoms hit after you killed the Netherbrain.

A part of you really wishes you had somehow known before then- maybe it would have changed the cruel fate that ended your relationship with Astarion. You were literally pregnant in the middle of fighting Cazador. You think about what he last said to you all the time and just sob hysterically- like it happened yesterday.

A deeper part of you feels abandoned, but you blame yourself for him leaving. You should have been more convincing or maybe you shouldn’t have flat out told him no and explained why in the hells you didn’t want him to ascend.

For example- you didn’t want to lose him to some evil version of himself.

Ironically, you lost him anyway and are pregnant with his fucking child who insists on occasionally making you miserable.

Despite your inherent sadness, anger, and sickness, you find you are actually quite excited to meet her. You haven’t settled on a name yet and Shadowheart has been very helpful in regards to making sure you are healthy and strong for delivery. She’s your best friend and you could not be more grateful for her.

“I’ll go back to the market today and get you more of those herbs,” Shadowheart says quietly when she talks to you, “they seemed to help last time?”

You nod- exhausted and your head is pounding. You and this kid are going to need to have a serious conversation. You will not be letting a second Acunin make you miserable before she is ever born.

Shadowheart guides you to your bed upstairs, standing behind you in case you get hit with a wave of vertigo- which usually happens post vomit episode.

You pull your curtains closed- thankful that the desperate hope in your heart led you to buying black out curtains. You close your door and lay down on your bed- tears spilling down your cheeks freely.

You miss him terribly. You shouldn’t. You should positively hate him, but everyday of this pregnancy makes you ache for him. You should be doing this together.

You know it’s hormones- the weepiness, the intense longing, and the Gods awful horniness. Dreams are the worst. You wake up a squirming disaster at least three times a week with your skin burning hot with memories of Astarion touching you.

You are happy that isn’t the case currently, but the weepiness sucks too. Remembering how he used to curl around you, the way it felt to have him kiss you on the forehead, and all those late night conversations with (now empty) promises. You curl yourself around your pillows, willing your imagination to pretend it’s him, and you sob until you fall asleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion tries to contain his excitement and fear as he follows Gale and Shadowheart to your home. Finally, after searching for literal months, he was going to see you again.

Astarion has been haunted by the last words he had said to you for what feels like eons now. He hadn’t meant it at the time and he certainly doesn’t mean it now.

He had been too afraid to come back to you after everything he had said. Astarion decided you probably hate him anyway so he tried to move on.

He tried being with other people (it always failed miserably because they weren’t you), he drank until he couldn’t remember a damn thing, and when all else failed, he began his search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

After the nightlife of Baldur’s Gate lost it’s appeal and he finally found a ring location, Astarion found himself in front of Gale’s door in Waterdeep- begging him of all people to help him.

The wizard had been puzzled and melancholy when he realized Astarion was at his door. Astarion told him every little piece of how he feels about you, how much he misses you, and how he wants to be able to give you the life that you deserve. Astarion was practically on the verge of hysteria while trying to make his case.

Thus began the search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

They were able to locate and obtain one after a grueling three month long journey and some help from one of Gale’s old friends. Then, they headed straight to Silverymoon- your last known whereabouts.

Running into Shadowheart had felt like a miracle, but to also have her living with you had made the trip even easier. Except Shadowheart was being really really weird towards him.

When Gale first asked if Astarion could come along too, Shadowheart had asked Astarion why he wanted to come and see the person he “hoped died screaming?”

Astarion had flinched at the anger and venom in Shadowheart’s voice. He figured the others would be mad, but he was hoping maybe Shadowheart would give him a little easier time like Gale had. Astarion was genuinely surprised by how quick she was to be defensive of you and your whereabouts. When Gale confirmed that Astarion was telling the truth, Shadowheart reluctantly said he could come.

The three arrive at the front of your shared townhome- it faces the beach and has the perfect amount of windows for the sun to light up the house, but one of the rooms is hidden from sight with heavy, black out curtains.

Shadowheart turns to both of them, “Tav might not be able to join us… she’s been sick for a bit now and is… recuperating.”

Astarion feels his heart drop to his stomach.

“Sick? For how long?”

Shadowheart shifts on her feet uncomfortably, “5 months, but it got worse around 3 months.”

“Tav has been sick for that long?” Gale exclaims, “why didn’t you write!? I could have helped.”

“This particular affliction is one you wouldn’t understand,” Shadowheart says with a finality that suggests the conversation is done as she leads them into the kitchen.

Shadowheart immediately gets fussing with the herbs while Gale looks around the house. Astarion is still unsure of what he should be doing. The house engulfs him in your scent and he feels positively intoxicated. You must be really sick though because your scent smells different- not bad at all, just different.

Does he talk to Shadowheart? Does he look around with Gale?

Or does he sneak off and find you? Astarion doesn’t want to waste anymore time than he already has. Slowly, he creeps towards the stairs.

“Don’t even think about it, Astarion,” Shadowheart warns.

Astarion looks at her and then back at the stairs. He does this a couple times until Shadowheart appears to be annoyed enough that she’s let her guard down a bit.

Astarion takes off up the steps and he hears Shadowheart and Gale coming up right behind him.

Astarion hears a dry heave from down the hallway and he goes racing for the door.

If you are as sick as Shadowheart has suggested (5 months is crazy long), Astarion may not have much time with you and Gods he needs to take advantage of the time he does have.

Shadowheart be damned.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wake up feeling even worse than you did when you fell asleep. Your headache feels like it’s taken on a life on it’s own and Gods you are going to vomit all over the floor if you don’t move NOW!

You get up with an impossible amount of speed for how dizzy you are and you grab the pail on your nightstand and heave painfully.

You are rocking back and forth, groaning as more stomach acid comes up because again, not able to even keep anything down.

You hear a pair of footsteps and then Shadowheart screaming after-

“ASTARION! THEY ARE SICK! YOU NEED TO WAIT!”

“I have been looking for them for months now,” you hear him hiss, “if they are sick, I need to see them. If this has lasted five months- then who knows how much time I’ve wasted!”

“Will you stop being selfish for five minutes!? It’s not about you and who even says she wants to see you!?”

Shadowheart and Astarion are yelling in front of your door now. You feel tears prick your eyes- Astarion is here. Here here. A flurry of excited kicks from inside you catches your attention and a feeling of blissful happiness comes over you. Oh look, the nausea is gone. Of course it is.

“Traitor,” you whisper before laying down on your bed for a moment.

You are very happy that your unborn daughter appears to be pleased and feels good about her dad being on the other side of the door. You, on the other hand, are less than optimistic.

Wasted time doing what? And why did Shadowheart say I was sick!? In what world was that going to keep him from going upstairs!? Especially if he, your mind pauses, cares about me? Again?

Which you hope he does- you would hope Shadowheart wasn’t so sick of taking care of you that she brought him here to finish the job. Maybe this is all one big show.

Another, “I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE” from Astarion, a “YOU SELFISH BASTARD” from Shadowheart, and a “Please can’t we all just be nice, catch up, and get along?” from Gale finally gives you the motivation to get up. The arguing feels far too much like being in camp again. You pinch the bridge of your nose, willing the growing headache to go away.

It doesn’t so you change into a pair of longer cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt that is unfortunately showing off your bump more than you’d like, and then you swing open the door in tired annoyance.

You are met with Astarion looking at you- his eyes scanning up and down your body- settling on your stomach. His expression is unreadable- it’s somewhere between lust, love, grief, and heartbreak. Embarrassed by Astarion’s intense gaze, you look over at Gale who is all smiles for you.

“Congratulations Tav!!!” Gale practically yells, making you wince, “the father is a lucky man.”

“I don’t think he considers himself a lucky man,” you say pointedly before turning to Astarion, “or do you?”

Astarion’s face changes entirely with your words. His eyes look at you, round and soft. His eyes are full of adoration and need- a look you never thought he would give you again. You have to fight the urge to grab him and drag him into your bedroom. You will not let the hormones win- you will be strong.

“I- it’s- I mean,” Astarion is fumbling over his words, “you are carrying my child?”

“Yes,” you say grumpily, crossing your arms,” and she’s been giving me nothing but trouble. Thanks to your genetics, I’m sure. This is day two of not being able to keep a damn thing down and this fucking headache is UNBEARABLE so please for the love of every God keep the arguing down.”

Astarion is still looking at you with a mystified expression- taking you in as if for the first time in his entire life. You look back towards Gale and Shadowheart- you are entirely too self-conscious and way too excited to see him for him to be looking at you like that. You are trying to be mad dammit!

Shadowheart gazes at you and your surely red tipped ears with amusement before she says, “I’ll go and get the potion ready for you- that should hopefully help.”

“I will- uh,” Gale says awkwardly, looking between you and Astarion, “join you! I might need to know which herbs to use… in the future?”

“Planning on getting pregnant Gale?” You say with a smirk.

Gale snorts at you, “Dear friend, as wonderful as you look right now- none of the side effects sound appealing.”

“Oh they most certainly aren’t,” you say,” but thanks for thinking I look ‘wonderful’. I feel, well, disgusting.”

“Gods, how could you even think that?” Astarion blurts out, appearing shocked that he even said it, “you look like…. A vision. A wonderful, stunning vision, Darling.”

Shadowheart and Gale excuse themselves as you struggle to find the words for Astarion’s comment. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you feel yourself begin to melt a little bit. You feel your emotions bloom into something resembling spring as he steps closer to you- looking at you with pleading eyes.

You clear your throat, “would you like to come into my room and talk?”

Astarion nods eagerly, following behind you so close that you once again have to remind yourself that ripping off the clothes of someone who literally told you they wanted you to die screaming was not healthy- at least not until you get a proper apology.

You sit against your headboard as Astarion walks around your room- running his fingers along the bassinet and rocking chair in the corner. You still can’t get a read on him.

“A girl?”

His question breaks the air.

“Yes,” you smile at him, “no name yet though.”

“I’m sure you’ll pick a nice one,” he says with a smile, but his tone is entirely too melancholic.

A painful thump in your heart fills your body with sadness. He doesn’t want to be involved. Of course he doesn’t want to be involved. You are his knocked up ex-girlfriend. What were you expecting? The lump forming in your throat is unbearable.

“You don’t want to be involved?”

Oh good Gods you are crying. Astarion rushes over to you the minute your tears begin to fall- sitting in front of you on the bed. He reaches out and gently wipes your tears away as he speaks.

“I want to be involved so badly it hurts,” his voice comes out scratchy and emotional, “but that is your decision, not mine. You have been on your own for months, my Love. Instead of trying to come back and make it better- I pushed it off until I thought I could give you what you deserved- a life in the sun.”

You almost whine in protest when his hands leave your face. He twists the ring around his index finger before continuing, avoiding your gaze, “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what you deserve is a person that isn’t so damaged. Someone who can give you what you actually deserve which is a loving partner who hasn’t hurt you over and over again- a man worthy of being a father to ou- I mean your child.”

His confession and the tears that are streaming down his face are enough for you. Yes, you absolutely want to scream and yell at him, but you also ache for him. You can’t fault the man for being a slave for 200 years and then not taking it very well when you told him what to do. You always knew you would forgive him if he came back- you never thought he would, but here he is and like he said- there is no reason to keep wasting time.

“She is our child, Star,” you whisper and guide his eyes to look at you, “I want you to be involved. I don’t care what you think I deserve either. I have missed you so horribly since you left. It’s almost pathetic really. I’ve tried to blame it on the hormones, but… I don’t know. The picture has felt incomplete up until now.”

You absentmindedly put your hand on your stomach- receiving a kick. You glare at the place where your hand is resting.

“Will you stop kicking me for five minutes!?” You scream, “I WAS IN THIS BODY FIRST!”

Astarion looks at you bewildered and confused, but quickly realizes you aren’t talking about him. The smile that spreads across his face is wide and Astarion gingerly moves closer. You are still a little cautious- needing to protect not only yourself, but also your unborn child. He moves to the right of you and goes to move you just slightly so he can slip in behind you.

“Could I? I mean if it’s not crossing any boundaries!”

Astarion is on edge- you can tell that much, but he doesn’t look at you like he did that last time you saw him- Astarion is looking at you like you are the most precious individual who has ever walked this earth.

You nod shyly, and then Astarion slots himself behind you, your back against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck, and his legs on either side of yours. He cautiously puts his hands on your stomach and is immediately kicked.

Astarion laughs with joy, “she’s strong!”

“Strong willed and strong physically,” you shake your head and you are laughing a bit now too, “you may just get your wish yet.”

“What wish?”

It had slipped. You hadn’t meant to bring it up again- or maybe you did. You want to know for sure if he still feels that way, but the confusion in his voice says he doesn’t. You go rigid and go to dismiss it when you feel his posture change behind you, his grip loosening ever so slightly.

“Right… that.”

The silence is nerve-wracking. You’ve lost him again, you are sure of it. A stray tear begins to roll down your cheek.

“Astarion-“

“No, let me think, Darling. I want to make sure I say everything I want to say correctly.”

You continue to sit there in silence, he places soft kisses on your neck. You feel him smile against your skin at the needy moan that escapes your lips. You absentmindedly reach out for one of his hands and begin to play with his fingers while he thinks. Astarion used to let you do this all the time while you were traveling- it helps you feel grounded.

“I was so consumed by all that power in the moment,” he says slowly, “I wasn’t thinking. By the time I had realized what I had done, I felt like it was already too late- you most likely hated me and moved on.”

You have to bite your tongue- you want to scream. Hate him? Never. You had been miserable without him around for that last month of traveling. Your heart had felt like a dead weight in your chest and you had been moving around like a zombie.

“So I tried to move on… I even tried to be with others, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s selfish, but I want you. I never want anything bad to happen to you- I certainly don’t ever want you to die screaming. I don’t want you to ever carry a child that is not mine.”

You are surprised by the warmth in your core when he says his last sentence. There is something so primal there that you have to really focus on what he is saying next.

Astarion clears his throat before finishing speaking, “I don’t want to be without you anymore- four months is too long. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of your pregnancy and I want to be here for you- with you- doing this together like we should have been doing this whole time. I was a horrible fool- please give me another chance. Please, Darling. I love you- so so much more than I ever thought anyone could ever love someone.”

Astarion’s words hang in the air and you are trying not to begin crying for the 15th billion time. This is what you had wanted to hear all along. You can feel his tears on the collar of your shirt- the way he inhales as if to memorize your scent like this is the last time. Astarion is not expecting you to say yes- you know that because he’s starting to loosen up, pulling away from you so that he can respect your decision.

“I love you too,” you whisper, “I don’t want to be without you anymore either. I forgive you- please stay.”

“I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me too, my Love.”

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you #bg3 spoilers #astarion romance #astarion x tav #karlach #bg3 #astarion x f! reader #astarion x f!tav #pregnancy #astarion acunin

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

‘Do You Know How To Take Care of a Sick Person?’

@sicktember Prompt #1

Fandom/OCs: DnD Party OCs

Title: Bad Day

Words: 3568

Inspiration: Read the first DnD OCs fic here

Author’s comments: The first fic of course turned out to be one of the lengthiest. I kept basically every other prompt to under 2,000 words except this one lol. It just didn’t work for me unless I set the scene properly. The quote felt too abrupt otherwise, especially when using OCs that most people don’t know.

I still love my DnD OCs, and was very glad to use them again! For those that care/don’t remember, Filius is a Human Cleric, Kandry is a Halfling Rogue, Gundor is a Dwarf Fighter, and Lorellyn is an Elf Sorcerer. 

You’ll see them again during this month of prompts, so if you liked this, then keep your eyes peeled! I still have at least one more idea for them after Sicktember as well :). As always, if you guys have any inspo for them, drop it in the ask box!

It was always a bad day when Filius was away. It was as if the universe conspired against the adventurers to ensure the worst possible things happened when their calm, competent cleric was not with them. Having seen this pattern play out time and again, the other three party members always tried their best to lay low and avoid trouble when he planned to leave for a period, but trouble always managed to find them regardless. 

One memorable instance occurred in Filius' own province. After a successful raid on a marauding band of orcs, the party retired to their hidden woodland camp to rest and recover. The local land was excellent for hunting and gathering and the nearby village was well-supplied with needed materials for replenishing their inventories, so everyone agreed it would be beneficial to take a few days off here. With the party in a (seemingly) safe place, Filius was eager to take the opportunity to see his friends and family, and the party happily encouraged him to go. With firm warnings about staying safe while he was gone, he rode away early one morning, accompanied by a local hired sword for safety. He planned to return in four or five days' time, as it would take a whole days' travel one way to reach his hometown.

The party tried to keep their word and stay safe, but luck was not on their side. Some hours after he had departed, in the late afternoon of the first day, Gundor was doing some basic training maneuvers with his axe, spinning and swinging and practicing his footwork with the trees as his targets. He had cleared the area well, aside from a few small stumps, which he was managing to avoid–until he overlooked one, and tripped spectacularly. He went down hard, all his weight falling on one leg, and gave a strangled cry of pain as he landed. Kandry and Lorellyn rushed over, preparing to battle some unseen foe, since they hadn’t seen what transpired. However, through his gasps of pain, the dwarf made them aware he was not being attacked. He was definitely injured however, and in severe pain. 

His party members managed some basic medicine checks and determined he had broken his knee, which had immediately begun to swell and discolor and was already looking grotesque.

"What do we do?" Lorellyn asked, biting her lip. "I know next to nothing about injuries."

"You know I don't either. But we have to do something," Kandry groaned, unable to look at Gundor's pain-stricken face. 

"Wha' abou'... A local healer," Gundor gasped. "Anythin'..  ta help th' pain… an' ta help th' leg… heal proper."

Lorellyn nodded enthusiastically.

Kandry looked very skeptical, but also nodded after a moment, her face grim. "I'll ride to the village. I'm fastest." The other two agreed immediately. Within moments she had pulled on her boots, saddled her pony, and was galloping away toward town.

She returned within the hour, a gaunt healing woman on her own steed in tow. The woman was silent as she examined the dwarf, her face a pinched line, as if she'd eaten something bitter. After a few minutes she grunted out the same diagnosis the party had come to, and began to align and wrap the knee, also applying a poultice for the swelling. The joint made unnatural sounds as she worked, and Gundor's face was pale with pain, and beginning to go green, though he kept his lips tightly shut. Only his soft groans and the sweat popping out on his brow revealed the agony he was in. 

Finally the knee was splinted and stable, and the dwarf could stand with support. The healer grunted a few more terse instructions about keeping weight off of it and allowing some weeks to heal, and how to make another poultice if the swelling persisted. She turned to leave without another word, striding back to her donkey.

"Please, can't you give him something for the pain? He's clearly miserable," Lorellyn called. 

The healer turned, and looked the dwarf up and down once more, her eyes narrowed. "He don't need nothin'. He's a dwarf, ain't he? I ain't got anythin' to treat pain fer his kind." With that she mounted her steed and rode away without a backward glance.

The three glanced at each other, each with anger or hurt in their eyes. 

"She doesn't trust us," Lorellyn whispered, her lip trembling.

"She don' trust dwarves," Gundor grunted, clenching his fists.

"Well I don't trust her. I didn't even when I first saw her. But she's the village's only healer. I checked. So I guess we're on our own until Fil gets back," Kandry said. "Will you be okay, Gund?"

"I'll survive," the dwarf grunted. "I'll jes' need a walkin' stick or summat. I got all the pain killer I need in me sack."

Lorellyn quickly fashioned him a crude but sturdy crutch. He stumped over to his tent, maneuvered to grab his saddlebags, and pulled out an amber flask. He downed the first flask in a few gulps, then opened a second. He sat down with this one and began to nurse it, his back against a sturdy tree. 

The rest of the day passed without further incident, except that Gundor got himself comfortably drunk. He made no trouble though, and sat against his tree the rest of the night, singing loudly and polishing his armor and weapons. Lorellyn went into town once more to replenish his liquor, but otherwise the three stuck close to camp and entertained themselves with their own pursuits. After much discussion, the group agreed to not post a watch at night. It was impractical for two people to do all the watch duties. They would have to hope their protective charms and talismans would suffice until they were back to full strength.

Kandry went to bed early without a word to the other two. This wasn't terribly unusual for her, so Lorellyn thought nothing of it until she helped Gundor get to bed. She sensed the temperature dropping and knew it was going to be a cold night, so she made sure the dwarf was warmly bundled in his tent as he snored away drunkenly. The elf considered waking the halfling to make sure she was aware of the impending temperature changes, but Kandry was likely to stab first and ask questions later if she was awakened, so Lorellyn decided to leave her be. It had been a long, eventful day, and the elf settled into her evening meditation gratefully, happy to forget the world for a time.

The temperature did indeed drop significantly overnight, and the morning was unseasonably cold, but bright and clear. Lorellyn was up with the sun, and she patiently waited for Kandry to join her for their morning training as she always did. However, when the halfling had not emerged after an hour past their usual start time, Lorellyn went to investigate. 

Kandry was bundled up, still on her bed roll when Lorellyn peeked her head into her tent. The halfling stirred at the sound of the door opening, turning to meet Lorellyn's eyes, her own heavy-lidded and hazy with fever. 

Lorellyn cried out softly, falling to her knees at Kandry's side, pressing a hand to her face immediately. Kandry shivered violently under her touch.

"What happened?" Lorellyn questioned, doing her best to examine her friend.

"W-what d-does it l-look l-l-like? I'm s-sick," Kandry croaked through chattering teeth. "C-came down with a f-fever during the n-night."

"Oh, you poor thing! But you were fine yesterday!"

"H-halflings d-don't do w-well in the c-c-cold." 

Lorellyn clicked her tongue sympathetically, stroking Kandry's hair. "What can I do for you?"

"Another b-blanket, p-please," Kandry said, with a hacking cough for emphasis. 

"Of course, right away." Lorellyn dashed off and returned in record time with Kandry's winter blanket, wasting no time in wrapping the halfling up in the extra layer, then sat wringing her hands as Kandry tried to get warm. 

"Oh this is just awful. First Gundor, and now you! What is happening to us?”

“It’s b-because Filius l-left. We’re c-cursed,” Kandry mumbled, burrowing deeper into her blankets. 

“It certainly feels that way,” Lorellyn sighed. “Should I run and get the healer again?”

“No! Th-that woman isn’t s-setting foot in this c-camp again. We’ll s-survive until OUR healer g-gets b-back.”

“If you’re sure,” Lorellyn sighed again. “Then let me go find something to help warm you up.”

In the time it took Lorellyn to get a hot drink and meal for the sick halfling, Gundor also began to wake. He hobbled his way out of his tent and managed to stand, swaying beerily as he held onto his walking stick, squinting at the world. Lorellyn called a greeting, which he returned with a half-hearted wave as the elf scurried into the halfling’s tent, laden with cups and bowls. He wasn’t quite sober, but nor was he drunk anymore, and the pain in his knee was raging. After only a few moments of consideration, he located his liquor bottle where it had been left the night before and polished it off, then immediately cracked open another. Until Filius returned and (hopefully) healed him, the dwarf saw no point in being miserable and in pain. 

It took a further few moments for it to dawn on him that the elf had disappeared inside halfling's tent rather than her own. Just as he had made up his mind to be curious about this and perhaps go investigate it, Lorellyn reemerged with the same speed she had entered, and was speaking equally quickly, though whether to him or herself, it was hard to be sure in his current state.

"We have nothing to make soup with, no tea, no oatmeal. Nothing for a sick person to eat. I've got to run to town. Maybe I can find her some medicine too, something we can make without Filius."

"The little 'un is sick?" Gundor interjected, as her words at last began to register on him.

"Yes, yes, she's burning up with a fever," Lorellyn said, wringing her hands again. "We must find some way to bring it down. I must go into town again and see what I can find." She hurried over to Gundor and clasped his hands. "You must stay and look after her, and make sure she doesn't get any worse."

"But I–"

"You'll be fine." She hurried over to her horse and began to saddle her. "Just go sit with her and keep her company. I think we have some potions around somewhere in case of emergencies. Make sure she has what she needs. I'll be back as quick as I can."

With that she leapt onto her horse and was gone, leaving a very confused dwarf in her wake. Gundor didn't move for several moments, deciding what to do. Finally, with a ponderous sigh he hobbled his way to Kandry's tent and edged his way inside. 

The halfling was unchanged from when Lorellyn had first seen her, aside from the addition of the second blanket. Of course Gundor didn't know this, so when he saw her huddled and shaking miserably on her bedroll with hazy eyes and clammy skin, such a far cry from her usual boisterous self, his eyes filled with tears immediately. He dropped to her side as Lorellyn had done, albeit much more awkwardly due to his knee, and ran a rough hand over her hair. 

" 'm okay, Gund," Kandry croaked. "Don't cry. It's just a fever."

"I can't seein' yeh this way, though. Yer so pale and still." Though the words were tender, he seemed to have lost the capacity to regulate his volume, as his voice was three times louder than it needed to be in the small, quiet space. 

"And you're d-drunk," Kandry winced. "Speak s-softer. My head is killing me."

"Sorry, sorry," he loudly whispered. "What can I do to help?"

Kandry looked around listlessly. "A c-cold rag? For my f-face? Feels like it's on f-fire."

"On it," the dwarf grunted, struggling to his feet. He seemed destined to topple over immediately due to the inebriation and the injury, but he managed to stay standing and hobbled his way back outside at a good pace. He returned as quickly as could be expected, holding a rag in his hand. Poor Kandry was shocked by a splash of icy cold water as he pressed it to her face however, as the rag was sodden and dripping wet. She yelped reflexively, jumping away, her teeth chattering harder than ever 

"Gundor! You n-need to r-ring it out m-more, I'm s-soaked n-now! D-don't you know how to t-take c-care of a s-sick person?"

Gundor took the rag back right away and clumsily wrung it out through the tent door, his face redder than ever as he returned.

"Sorry, lass. I ain't had much practice at this nursin' business. I don't wanna hurt yeh none." He gently replaced the much drier rag on her forehead. Kandry sighed in relief.

"You w-won't hurt me. H-halflings are h-heartier than we l-look. D-don't worry s-so m-much."

"Anything else yeh need?" he asked anxiously.

"No. Wait, actually, y-yes." She held out a shaking hand. After a moment of confusion, he handed her his liquor bottle, and she took a deep drink before handing it back. 

"You can't c-catch my germs, r-right?" she asked belatedly.

"Nah, dwarves are quite different from halflings, lass. Yeh couldn't get me sick if yeh tried."

"Good. Th-then you'll s-stay and s-sit with m-me?"

"O' course. I wouldn't dream o' doing otherwise." With that he promptly sat down once more, taking his own swig from the bottle. 

"C-can I ask… one last f-favor?"

"Anythin' " he hiccupped.

"Would you… c-consider laying under the b-blankets with me? I'm s-so c-cold," she mumbled, unable to meet his eyes.

"Why didn't yeh say so before?" he cried. He immediately moved to her side and freed a corner of the blankets, gingerly sliding in beside her, being mindful to keep his bad leg on the outside so it was safe from the risk of accidental kicking. She nestled against him eagerly, curling into his warmth. She didn't go as far as wrapping her arms around him, but she did tuck her hands and feet under his side. He was not so bashful though, and looped his arm around her tiny shoulders, drawing her tight against himself. She heaved another grateful sigh as his heat began to warm her immediately, and her shivering began to ease at last. She quickly fell into an exhausted doze, with Gundor watching over.

Lorellyn returned in due course with more provisions than they would know what to do with, but nothing she found satisfied her, so she bought it all, hoping something might suffice. Of course she immediately barged into Kandry's tent, but took an apologetic step back upon seeing the scene within, for Kandry had been sleeping peacefully against Gundor's side. The elf earned one of Kandry's trademark glares for waking her. Gundor smiled and waved blearily upon seeing her.

"I'm sorry," Lorellyn whispered, her face red. "I just wanted to let you know that I returned. I can start making the soup right away, and see about those medicines… but Gundor, do you need to take a break? I can sit with her for a while."

Kandry gave the dwarf a pleading look. He shook his head no. "I'm fine righ' where I am," he said with a smile, patting Kandry's back. 

Knowing well how much the pair favored each other in all ways platonic, Lorellyn smiled too. "All right then. I'll leave you be. Please call if you need anything."

And so the day passed. Kandry slept on and off, usually accompanied by Gundor, for she shivered relentlessly without him against her. When she was awake, Lorellyn plied her with medicine and food. By evening it became evident that the medicine was relatively effective; her fever went down by a good margin. This satisfied Lorellyn, and she showed it by fussing all the more. Kandry tolerated this with as much good grace as she could muster, but by evening she was fed up and asked to be left alone for the rest of the day unless she called. Lorellyn, who was by this point also exhausted and more careworn than usual, agreed without much fuss. 

In fact she looked so careworn that Kandry couldn't help but scrutinize her as she prepared to leave for the evening. The halfling frowned at what she saw.

"Lorellyn, come here for a moment."

The elf complied immediately. 

Kandry sat up to better look at her. Gundor also looked on curiously. "What's all over your face? Are those… hives?"

Lorellyn covered her cheeks with her hands. "Oh… it's nothing! Just… the heat… And all."

Kandry narrowed her eyes. "We've been a party for almost four years, Lor. I know you break out in hives when you're stressed. You must be miserable. I've never seen you have so many."

Lorellyn hung her head. "It's not just the stress… there's so many bayberry bushes in these woods and in the village. I'm terribly allergic, and I can't get away from them. They're everywhere. I didn't notice until Fil was gone. He usually makes me a potion for my allergies."

"You poor thing," tutted Kandry. "Your skin must be burning."

"And my eyes. And my throat," mumbled Lorellyn. "Everything hurts and itches."

"Then why are you running around taking care of us? You need to go rest," Kandry said firmly. 

Lorellyn nodded. "I'm going now. But you will call if you get worse?" she asked, giving the pair a stern look.

They both nodded, mainly to appease her. She was the worst off of the three of them now that Kandry's fever was down. They could fend for themselves long enough to let her get some rest. 

And rest they did, all three of them. Thanks to Lorellyn's more-than-adequate supply run, they had no need to leave the camp again in the remaining days until Filius returned. They were all drained from their various ailments and hardly left their tents as they slowly recovered. Lorellyn stayed out of the sun and liberally applied poultices to her abused skin. Gundor kept his knee well-wrapped, and kept himself comfortable the way he knew best, though the constant aching, shooting pain and subsequent immobility was trying. Kandry simply slept much of the day, often with Gundor at her side. Though her fever never reached the heights it had that first day, the constant-low grade fever drained her and made her light-headed and fatigued. 

Since they were all in their beds so much, no one was outside to greet Filius when he returned late the fourth day. The camp was eerily silent as he dismounted and unsaddled his horse, and he was on high alert. However, Gundor limped out of his tent just as Filius was about to explore the area, and the cleric breathed a sigh of relief. Upon seeing their fourth companion, Gundor squinted blearily, shaking his head as if to clear it. 

"Day izzit?" the dwarf mumbled to himself, feeling around for his watch with a hiccup.

Filius approached and clapped him on the back with a smile. "It's Wednesday, my friend. I returned a day earlier than anticipated. One can only see so much of one's family before starting to go mad. But I see you've been enjoying yourself in my absence," he said, glancing at the heap of empty bottles beside the dwarf’s tent. 

"I've been injured, yeh see," Gundor protested, gesturing to his bandaged knee. "This here was the only remedy while we waited for yeh to return to us. But now here yeh are!" Gundor threw his arms around the human for a belated hug, almost knocking them both over in the process. 

Filius freed himself with a laugh, and knelt down immediately to examine the knee. However, Lorellyn had been alerted by the commotion and poked her head out as well. Upon seeing Filius, she dashed out with a happy cry, running to him and flinging her arms around him, almost knocking him over yet again as she said his name again and again. 

"I'm so glad you're back," she mumbled into his shoulder. 

He shifted to better return her embrace. "I'm glad to be back. But what's wrong, dear? You're acting as if I've been gone for a month." He pushed back her curtain of unruly hair, frowning as he saw her raw, broken skin.

"It feels as if it's been that long. We've had the most awful time without you."

"You're certainly looking worse for wear," he agreed. "Did something happen or…?"

"Just rotten luck all around. And this town's healer is horrid. We've had to fend for ourselves since you've been gone and it's just been a mess."

"And what about Kandry?"

"She's sick too. Sure has a horrible fever and has been in bed for days. I don't know what to do."

"I'll take care of it," Filius reassured her. "But first you, Lor. Your poor skin. I think I have something that will help. You can't get so worked up, though. You get yourself into the worst states that way."

"It's your fault I'm in this state," she said, still embracing him. "You're never allowed to leave us again." 

#sicktember 2022 #prompt 1 #dnd ocs #sickfic #everyone is hotter with a fever

[amazingmsme]

Ok so I’m here to talk about My Boy

Jackson is my tiefling oc I made for a modern dnd campaign & he’s a forensic investigator. He’s well trained with a staff & hand to hand combat but mostly stays in the lab performing autopsies. But he does go out in the field to investigate the initial crime scene & deliver his input. He graduated high school 3 years early & got his bachelors in only 2 & a half years so he’s a bit of a brain child. He’s a light blue tiefling with heterochromia.

He was always shy & super awkward & never had many friends. He comes across as slightly annoying & condescending, with an attitude that suggests he thinks he’s smarter than everyone. People think he’s a bit of an asshole but he just doesn’t know how to act with people. But he really is kind at heart. Tends to ramble.

In the campaign, they were investigating strange happenings around the town including disappearances. After 1 of the team members gets abducted, Jackson determines that it’s aliens & manages to make contact. He gets some cryptic messages & traces the location to right above their agency. When he rushes outside, the spaceship is right above him & starts to pull him up. He uses his retractable staff to block the ship’s entrance, bracing himself against the hull with his legs. They give up & let him drop about 100ft to the ground. Now since he’s a huge fucking dork, he’s starstruck by this encounter & honestly flattered. He’s just v excited about aliens.

Jackson is a HUGE workaholic & doesn’t know when to call it quits. He lives off of coffee & has literal withdrawals when he has to go without it. He never takes breaks or vacations because he has no friends to spend that time with. He had constant circles under his eyes & his smiles are always tired. He listens to rock & edm while he’s in the morgue to keep himself awake. He’s actually very caring with the victims he works with. He talks very soothingly to them & uses a gentle touch. He’s always very respectful when dealing with the dead & treats them as though they’re alive.

He has a small blue & red parrot named Gigi & she’s the only reason he actually goes home, even if he does come back at ungodly hours in the night. But he brings her to work sometimes to spend time with her & gives her the love she needs. During his work breaks he heads home to feed her & take care of her then it’s right back to the lab.

Because I’m me you know what I’m boutta do😏

He doesn’t know that he’s ticklish. He was raised in an orphanage cause he was given up for adoption as an infant & was never close with any of the other kids, so he never go that playful affection. He’s very curious about it tho but will refuse to admit it. Since he can’t ever remember being tickled, he rightfully assumes he’s just not ticklish. & when asked, he always says it with such confidence & finality that no one chooses to actually test it. (He’s always just a tiiiiny bit disappointed.) He’s totally tried to tickle himself & when it didn’t work, assumed it was confirmed that he’s not ticklish. He will take that to his grave tho & is incredibly embarrassed & ashamed that he’d stoop so low. He’s low key disappointed that it didn’t work tho.

He has a dangly feather earring that will swipe along his neck sometimes & he always jerks away with a grin & rubs his neck. He never makes the connection that it tickles tho cause he doesn’t know what it feels like.

But his worst spots are his ears/neck, armpits, tummy, tail & calves but he’s surprisingly ticklish pretty much everywhere. The only reason no one’s figured it out yet is because he’s not a super affectionate person, so they’re not really affectionate with him.

#my ocs #my oc art #tiefling #tiefling oc #jackson #my nerdy boy #i love him your honor

[sadaveniren]

Annual Writing Evaluation 2020

Ssssssh I know it’s the beginning of January. I’m late. I was tagged by @daggerandrose​ and @lululawrence​ to do this. They were two slightly different ones so I just... Mashed them together. Whoops

1. List of Stories published this year: Did you let him leave a necklace (yup)

Fellowship of Eroda

Can we pretend (honestly reality bores me)

Tastes like strawberries

Just for tonight (I can be yours)

Fun time candles

The animals play

Knife’s edge

You’re outta control (what is your mind)

When you’re good to mama (he surprises you)

One shot two shot (you and me)

Clean up, clean up (everybody have some fun)

So wonderful and warm

Here comes the men in black (my soulmate)

Here to stay (here to play)

The happiest season

2. Word count posted for the year: 161,374 (jfc)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Taste Like Strawberries

Bookmarks: Just For Tonight (I can be yours)

Comments: The Happiest Season

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):  That’s tough. I know in another post I was like EVERY FIC I POSTED WAS A VICTORY and that’s true. I think I’m most proud of Here to Stay (here to play) because for an entire month every night I sat down and wrote start to finish a whole fic. Sure some of those Fics were 400 words but listen... I come from fandom of old where there were the 100 fic challenges and even trying to write 100 word Drabbles is HARD. You’re making a whole story every day and it felt good! I felt accomplished!!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I really really wish Here Comes the Men in Black (my soulmate) had come out different. I had much bigger plans and they got scrapped and I just. Wish things had gone different. But I was writing it as I struggled with the dreaded 4 month sleep regression which lasted TWO WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS AND I DID NOT GET MORE THAN 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AT A TIME FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS AND GOD IT WAS THE WORST SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A SERIOUS HEALTH CONDITION. So the biggest thing to fall away during that time was my writing. And that fic sadly suffered because of it 😔

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Every reviewer who commented during Kinktober and said that they weren’t usually a fan of the kink of the day but they trusted me enough to give the chapter a shot. A special shoutout to those who tried the rape fantasy chapter because of that trust.

A special SPECIAL shoutout to the asshole who asked me to tag every time I wrote girl direction for kinktober and told me they refused to read any of the chapters on the off chance I surprised them with a vagina or something.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Literally all fucking year. March-April-May was a particularly fuzzy time for me. I think any writing I got done was on my phone, half asleep, with my fingers cramping

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Louis in Fellowship to Eroda was a lot of fun to write. That fic overall was really fun to write because I got to include a lot of DND stuff and some of my favorite dialogue was there.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: From You’re Outta Control (what is your mind)

“You wanna ride daddy’s cock?”

The train was barreling along and Harry knew he didn’t have much time to make his decision. He quickly nodded.

Louis made quick work of unzipping his fly and turning Harry around so his back was facing his chest. He pulled him back by his hips and settled him down on his cock.

They both moaned at the sensation, and being so exposed. And then they started to fuck. It was wild, erratic, and desperate.

“Just think,” Louis groaned, “if I had an alpha cock. How we wouldn’t be able to do this if I knotted you.” Harry’s breath caught and he wiggled his hips. “Or maybe we would. You stuck on my knot through fuck knows how many stops. People coming and going. Seeing you there. Squirming like a little slut.”

Harry gasped. His mouth hung open as he tried to suck in air and ride Louis’ cock at the same time.

“Louder,” Louis demanded. His voice was beginning to sound strained. “Want your moans to fill up the whole car.”

It took effort but Harry was helped along when Louis reached around and wrapped his fingers around his cock. Then he moaned and it echoed in the empty train car.

“That’s right. Fucking yourself on daddy’s omega cock. So much better than some alpha’s knot isn’t it?”

“Daddy,” Harry whined. He bounced faster, eyes closed. He knew if he didn’t come before the next stop he wouldn’t be able to stop and anyone who came onto the car would see.

“Think how much come you’d have to hide if I was some alpha. It would leak out. Drip onto the floor.” Harry gasped. He was so close and his cunt squeezed around Louis’ cock as he tried to pull Louis with him. “Instead you’ll be pumped full of my omega seed-“ Louis’ voice cut off as he came, pulling Harry down flush against his hips as he came in him.

Harry watched as his own cock squirted come onto the floor and he cried out in embarrassment and lust.

The train was still running as they both caught their breath and it only started to slow down for the next stop as Louis edged Harry off of his cock. Harry could feel the mix of his slick and Louis’ come starting to slide out of him as Louis pushed him to the ground.

“Clean daddy off,” Louis said. His fingers tangled in Harry’s hair as he pulled Harry’s mouth to his slick covered cock.

The train was slowing down. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest as he got to his knees. He caught Louis’ eye. The lights from the station were starting to filter in through the window. Louis squeezed his fingers in his hair.

“What are you waiting for? These are expensive trousers and I don’t want your slick ruining them.” Harry could see the stain his slick had already left around the zipper of Louis’ trousers. “Clean me off.”

They jolted to a stop and the doors hissed open. Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ cock, licking him clean. He spread his legs as Louis’ come leaked out of him and onto the floor.

The doors dinged, singling they were closing and Louis pulled his mouth off of him. Harry stared up at him from where he was kneeling on the ground and Louis smiled.

“There’s a good omega. Come sit up next to me.”

Harry looked around. The car was still empty. His entire body sagged from adrenaline and he turned to kiss Louis. “We would have been in so much trouble if we’d been caught.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I lost…. a lot of fucks. I used to agonize about the fics I put out, and I still did, but this year I waded through writing a lot of stuff that normally I wouldn’t just because I didn’t feel ~motivated~ that day. But between Kinktober, and my advent fic, and just, forcing myself to finish fics even when I felt uninspired, I produced a lot more than I planned and that’s really important to me! But it also means that I learned to let fics go a lot earlier.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: Continue to just… write. I don’t have any big things I want to work on. Maybe crafting overall non-romantic plots? I’m trying that out for my big bang…. we’ll see how that goes.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @lululawrence​ and @londonfoginacup are literally my rocks in writing at this point. They were so helpful while I cried about not being able to finish any fics ever, and reminded me constantly to be kind to myself. Jenna and @becomeawendybird were also just so so encouraging and I think without them I would be absolutely lost.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: lol. Yes. Next.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: write smut horny, edit after. (or don’t like… fuck it no one reading your smut is gonna care when they’re getting off to it)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m focused on my big bang which I hope people will enjoy. And then… Man if I could finish my eternal WIP that would be EXCELLENT. But who knows!! Maybe a plot bunny will hit me.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. I think everyone has done this cause I’m late. Whoops.

#meme #my writing

[paulwalltran]

Dungeons and Dragons Loneliness

Another interview with lofi music. Today was a pretty shitty day, alot on my mind. Here to unload. 

Today’s mood: Fuck it all...

It’s a mad addiction, a horrendous one. It’s all I think about, it’s all I want to talk about. Or almost anything fantasy related. I’ve recently gotten a little closer with one of my co workers. Delerner Banks, everyone calls him Del. He’s always in the tunnel, and always brings warhammer books to read and do work (whatever it is he’s working on.) We talk about fantasy related things all the time, and sometimes we bounce ideas off each other, feeling out our thoughts of settings and lore. Talking to him about some fantasy before leaving work made me feel alot better. The loneliness inside has been eating at me.

I know it’s salt, I know its jealousy, that I’m mad at my friends. They been hanging out more without me, playing cards and shit. Its not a passion of mine, its fun sometimes, but its still not me. Its what they bond over, its what they do together, and that’s what theyre into. If I had to guess, they’re okay with Dungeons and Dragons, but even my best friend said that I take it too serious. Its fallen out of their favor, it eats up a lot of time, and they each have their version of what a fun campaign would be like. In me, I said to myself, “Fine, fuck it. I’ll have to assemble another crew to play with.” Tough situation then isn’t it? Wanting to play a social game that needs bodies, during an age where social gatherings are frowned upon, because they carry a potential to spread a virus... Still, this is what I want to do. I want a group of friends, who share the same passion I do. My current friends must think ill of me, they may just want to hang out. They think that if they come hang with me, I’ll want a game of DnD without a doubt. They just want to chill and kick it, they don’t want to roll dice. But ask me once and I’ll tell you yes twice, to playing DnD. 

I love it with all my heart, all of the contents and materials are here, ready to play. No extra investments, no money needed to be spent, we can get going off of nothing like we did back then. A table top roleplaying game, we started with cardboard and lego figures, and just two books to share. But there was fun to be had, and a few heated sessions. But fun it was, the more we played the deeper i grew fond of the game. I’m even willing to experiment with other systems if I have someone to guide me. With cards, you gotta constantly update your arsenal to keep up with the meta, and let’s be real, not playing anything remotely close to meta isn’t as fun. Different formats allow different decks, and to keep current you gotta keep up. I dont have the fundings for it, I dont have the luck. I would rather buy a module that’ll last for years, versus a pack of cards. I have two books that have skyrocketed in value, cards go up and down like stocks. But thats the appeal I suppose, I don’t care for it though.

Back to the thing at hand, I’m in their group chat as they make plans. I can’t be there for all that. But fuck it, that’s all Im going to say. Fuck it, on repeat, until its engraved into my head. Pride is getting the best of me, I refused to be denied again. If it’s not something they want to do, so be it, I need to look out for me in the end.  I must muster up the courage to start playing online again, the first one wasn’t bad, but it fell apart. I need to get the courage to be social, and get over the fear that everyone expects you to be a pro player. I’m scared going into this green still, roll20 isn’t my forte. But if I want to play DnD, this seems to be my only option. It may fulfill my wish, to find friends who are just as passionate as I. My other friends, they’re over on the other side. Its fine, it truly is, they have one another, and I need to be strong. I need to find the strength in this loneliness, even though its tearing me apart. My circle becomes smaller, thats just the way of the world. Adapt to survive, be formless like water...

Dungeons and Dragons, my greatest escape. I can be anybody, and do things I normally can’t. I can clobber up bad guys, indecent folk, and finesse my way out of punishment from the law. I can save a village, a town, a kingdom, when I can hardly save myself. I can fly, cast spells, break locks, imagination is my only limit. I can hoard and amass vast amounts of riches, I myself can even become a dragon. I don’t have to be me, although a bit of me resides in everyone I’ve made before. I can never truly separate myself, from those Ive breathed life into. For hours on end, I can go anywhere, do anything, I melt into the world thats placed before me.

 Because the reality is that I’m practically shit, and nobody. The world is fucked up and jacked up and spiraling down the drain. I’m mentally fucked and my physicality is pretty much the same. I’m stuck in place when the world is demanding me to change. I lost with no real direction. No map in hand, no guide, and I’m scared out of my mind. I don’t know whether to trust the process or commit suicide. Im not sure where I’ll end up, if it’s good or bad. Im struggling, I’m suffering, and there seems to be no end. I could say I’m trying, but I would be lying, if I had to look at the brighter side. The positive things in life are so hard to identify. But my emotions are raw and hit hard, slamming against the walls in my skull. Demanding me to give them attention...and attention I give them, as they tear me up. Like being pulled at by the limbs, drawn and quartered is the method it seems like today. I was thinking that I couldn’t drink forever, my body would eventually reject. But what if I drank energy drinks on end, a heart attack to get me out of this place. I can down those all day long, so whats stopping me from taking that way out of it? Less grotesque and violent, it’ll probably be painful as hell. An organ seizing up, as the body ceases the function. I get said thinking about it sometimes, but one day, enough will be enough. But damn that lady...damn her for speaking those words... Tomorrow. If nothing is better by tomorrow, then do as you may. But sleep it off, tomorrow is another day. 

It’s not verbatim, but its the gist. Just wait for tomorrow, and hopefully things will change. The choice is still mine to make, and something in me pushes me forward, keeps me going on. Sometimes I think about who I’m leaving behind, and maybe how much it’ll hurt. The evil darkness inside me says that they’ll get over it, they have to, and time doesn’t wait. I won’t be immortalized, I’ll simply end up a statistic. That maybe itll be a few years the sadness remains fresh, but wounds always heal. Discrediting my actual existence, and any form of relations. Like I wouldn’t have made any actual impressions, people don’t weep for me now. People kind of forget I exist already, what makes me think they won’t after I’m gone? 

I think about my folks, my grandma, my girlfriend, my second family, and other close dear friends. I think about how many last will letters I would have to put out there, before I call for the curtains. Sometimes, I say I will start writing them, but they give me pause. I end up not wanting to leave this world, after pouring out my heart. Because I don’t want to leave any questions behind for people who matter, I want them to know how I felt before I passed. I want to leave with them apart of me, so they would never forget. 

Still it doesn’t change, shit is rough as of lately, work has been eating me up. I feel like Im never hundred percent, and me back on gaming is making it worst. I’ve gotten back onto Elder Scrolls Skyrim, its been my virtual version of DnD. Waiting for the Outer World Expansion, so I can get addicted to that again. All I want to do is play Dungeons and Dragons, the question is how do I make that into a living? I think being a Matthew Mercer is one in a million, I don’t think I’m that great. I’m willing to learn, grow, evolve because it is my passion, but I’m always scared of making mistakes. To be one of the greater Dungeon Masters, to be THE Wizards of the Coast Dungeon Master, it may possibly be the dream. To eat, sleep, breathe, Dee en Dee. My obsession isn’t that crazy though, I’m still behind on the lore of creatures and settings, I haven’t studied at all. But with the right drive and motivation, I would, especially with something as real as a legit group.

Enthusiastic players, who show up every week, bi weekly, once every month even, to play this fantastic game. Group of chill folks who is willing to take the Dungeon Master Mantle with I get burned out and have the desire to be in the player seat. One of those is the driving force, they make me want to plan. They make me want to make the world, the style, everything in general better, with the constructive feedback. I mean it’s been so long as I was a player in a campaign until the end, I’m beginning to think paying for a Dungeon Master wouldn’t be so bad. Once a month? A couple of hours? I mean I’m thinking like seven USD per hour? Eight isn’t bad, but after that it becomes a questionable amount. It repeats in my head, “No DnD is better than Bad DnD”, this much is probably still true. I say still because I still might want at least one session with said game, so I can at least say it was the worst after having attempt it, rolling something. Ha ha, I kid myself, I’m lying because I know the rage would be all to real and caution is my game most of the time. But I mean, I just might have to start exploring the idea, I was definitely going to ask on FaceBook if any Roll20 games was recruiting a newbie. 

Alas, today won’t be the last time I speak on the matter, Dungeons and Dragons haunt me everyday. I stare at minis, I stare at the upcoming books and modules, and I watch youtube where they tell RPG Horror Stories, Its become a huge part of my life, such as dancing once was. It almost links right into my earliest talents...writing. I love to write, just like I’m doing now. Im fairly decent at the writing game if I must say. Hey, real life failed Bard here, I should make one who always ends up playing big bro, and end up being friendzoned by all his interests. Im short, so Halfling is very true. Am I charismatic? Who knows, I can’t say for sure. But yes, I feel like this is what I need, a solid weekly game, maybe once every two weeks, hell, once every month would still be great. Something to look forward to the very least, in this life of routine and mundane. Something to look forward to for me, something that’s my own. Something I don’t need my closer friends to be apart of, since they’re not interested anyhow. I’m really talking shit because I’m hella salty, but at least I’m being upfront. Get it all out now, before the typing is done. 

It’s been a productive session, I may have to attribute it to Lofi it seems. The Lofi Hip Hop Radio on YouTube, also found on Spotify. Some tracks still strike me deep in the chest, giving me horrible flash backs and feeling in my chest. Others keep me going, forward, almost propelling. I’m currently training myself to be accustomed to the sounds, because I at first was very scared. That it would just transport me to a dark place and keep me there. I’ve been trying to confront my feelings more with this music, I think I felt better after last session like this. The more I faced myself, the better I became. Yes, I most definitely referenced Persona 4, another amazing and loved title because of the message it portrays. I always wondered what my shadow self would look like, and what they would say. But eh another time, I’m about to start rambling again. I have to conclude here, before I get off topic.

Until next time Tumblr...

[pendragonfics]

Did I Hear You Say You Love Me?

Paring: Steve Harrington/Reader

Tags: female reader, inspired by this song, features past Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, D&D, Stranger Things spoilers, dancing, fluff, cutesy. 

Summary: During the school holidays of 1983, Will Byers organizes a DND campaign at his house. Reader, his elder sister, is cooped up in the house while everyone else has dates or social lives. Will and his friends concoct a plan.

Word Count: 1,599

Current Date: 2018-02-11

Being the older twin, it’s hardly an achievement. Everyone looks to you to be the most mature, the one in charge when the adults aren’t around. You’d rather be the one who was born eighteen minutes later, to be honest. Except, Jonathan isn’t much better than you; he’s always acting like he’s Dad, trying to make everything get by in the Byers house. And while it sucks majorly to take care of everyone when Mom was out trying to make ends meet and save the day with Chief Hopper, it’s normal.

You, _______ Byers, are basically a Mom. Sans the kids. And childbirth.

And while that sucks majorly, it was that trait which was the saving grace that you used to whip your friends and brother to action when you saw that something was off about Will. If you were Nancy, Jonathan’s girlfriend, you’d be doing anything to not be the Mom. She’s seventeen, just like you, and while you’re making sure your kid brother’s friends don’t accidently burn down the house making Eggos, she’s got good grades and a legion of friends.

“We’re having a DND night next Tuesday,” Will says, sitting beside you on your bed. You can hear him despite the fact you’re listening to Cyndi Lauper through your little tape deck, and taking off your headphones, you place them upon the ears of your younger brother. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun?” He asks, humming to the tune. “This record is new, how’d you get it?”

You bite your lip. “Harrington. He said he picked up the wrong tape at the music store,” you look at the tape’s cover on the desk, and back to Will, “Don’t know how he confused it for The Eagles.”

Will laughed to himself. “He likes you,” he nudges you. You make a noise of denial. “I’ve seen it! He looked at you the same way Jonathan did when he saw Nancy at the Snowball.” Will says proudly.

“You’re just trying to get me to make a move,” you wave off his theory, clicking the tape deck to stop playing Cyndi. “So, what was it you said when you came in? You’re going to have your friends over to not play DND?”

He shakes his head. “No, we are. Our campaign has us –,”

You groan. “Okay, okay, I hear you. I’ll babysit for sure, if you don’t tell me all about it!” you attack Will with a bout of tickling. For a minute, it’s just like when you were kids, before Mom and Dad divorced, and everything wasn’t crazy wild. “Like, I have no idea what any of it means – why isn’t it the same as The Hobbit? I get The Hobbit.”

“Noo!” He cries. “Stop tickling!” Will laughs, pushing your hands from his armpits, eyes screwed up in laugher, filled with happy tears. “Thanks, _______. Jonathan can’t do it, because he’s taking Nancy to the drive-in to watch some sappy movie.”

You turn to Will, and add, “Just make sure your friends get rides here, okay? Jonathan’s gonna take the car, and there is no way I’m biking around town to gather your friends like the pied piper.”

Will laughs. “You’re weird.” As he goes to get off the bed, he adds, “But you won’t have to do that. Steve’s bringing everyone around, Dustin talked him into it.”

You make a face. “How did Dustin make King Steve do that? I mean, he barely knows him! I barely know him, and I don’t get rides around Hawkins in his fancy car,” you tell your brother.

Will shrugs. “Well, Steve’s nice now. And maybe you don’t get car rides, but he did kind of gave you a Cyndi Lauper tape,” he points out. The walkie-talkie on his side makes a crackling noise, and Will leaves to take the call.

You sit there on your bed, silent.  

-

School holidays are the worst. Not because you’re basically left to your own devices when your Mom is off canoodling with her ‘good friend’ Jim (you really want to pressure her into spilling that she likes Jim as more than a friend, but the last time you did that…it ended up with the other guy dying in the Hawkins National Laboratory). And because you’re honestly a big nerd who has no friends, you’re left mooching around the house like a loser, hanging out with your kid brother’s friends and re-reading those musty old love novels that lay around the house.

Tuesday comes around, and once again, your Mom has gotten a ride into town with Chief Hopper. Jonathan is dressed in his favourite band t-shirt and has taken Nancy out to see Flashdance. And Will’s friends are rolling around, and from the sound of the engine of the BMW, Steve’s coming in too.

You glance down at your outfit, suddenly self-conscious. Your baggy jeans and Jaws t-shirt aren’t exactly a ballgown, and your hair looks like a tumbleweed. But it’s too late to do anything about it, because Lucas and the others come through the front door. Mike is humming the Ghostbusters theme.

“Hi _______, wicked shirt!” Dustin says, beaming at you with his new teeth.

You nod. “Thanks, buddy.”

He nods to the porch, where Steve is walking up the stairs. “Is it okay if Steve stays over while we play? My Mom feels better knowing he’s around.” He looks over to the table where the game is set up, and clamours for a good seat. “Shotgun!”

As Steve walks through the door, you feel your breath go short. His hair is nice as always, and the bruises he got from Billy Hargrove that night at your place are finally fading into an ugly brown shade under his skin tone. But he’s still gorgeous, despite the all the scratches, the healing busted lip.

“Hey,” you greet, shoving your hands in your pockets.

“Hey, cool shirt,” he nods, looking to the kids as they muck around by the kitchen table. “Dustin’s Mom asked if I could hang around while they played, she’s a little on edge since she lost her cat, and Barb’s funeral.”

You nod, understanding. Mrs. Henderson was a great Mom; if your Mom had more time in the day, she’d surely be fast friends with her. Will comes into the room and gives El a hug as she walks through the door. “Ready to begin, Mage?”

Max rolls her eyes, taking a seat beside Lucas. El gives her shoulder a playful punch and sits beside Mike. “Ready, Cleric.”

You point behind you to the bedrooms, and call out, “I’ll just be listening to records, shout if you need anything,” you tell the kids. You look to Steve, “If you want to hang out here, it’ll be less boring.”

Your room is a bit of a mess, and realising this, you begin to shove the books into somewhat of a pile, the notepaper where you’ve been doodling cartoons of your favourite superheroes into a pile beneath your math textbook.

“So, what did you have in mind?” Steve asks you, looking at the posters that are in the process of peeling from the wall. Your David Bowie tour poster looks worse for wear, yet, he looks at it like it’s what hung the moon in the sky. “I brought some of my favourite tapes, if you wanted to listen.” From his jean jacket pockets, he produces three tapes, handing them to you.

“Sounds cool.” You nod, inspecting the art on them. “Stevie Wonder, U2, Ramones…these are decent tunes, Harrington.” You beam, turning to place Stevie in your tape deck. “You’ve got good taste.”

“Uh, thanks.” Steve sits on the edge of your bed, looking at your dogeared second-hand copy of Frankenstein. “When I was on my way over, one of the kids said something – I mean they’re probably messing with me or something –,”

You cross your arms, listening to the sweet opening to the first song. “Let me guess. They said that I was super into you.” You twirl your hair over a finger like some valley girl bimbo. “Like, down on my knees, begging God before bed to send me my very own Steve Harrington –,”

He shakes his head. “Mike said that he heard that Jonathan said to Nancy that he heard you talking about the new Cyndi Lauper album, and then Will said that you liked it, and…” he looks at his hands. “_______, ever since I met you in second grade, you’ve been the coolest person I ever met. And it only took me until now to realise that I liked you more than just a friend.”

You frown, just as Stevie Wonder sings the song Did I Hear You Say You Love Me. “Wait…this isn’t you using me as a rebound for my brother’s girlfriend,” you process aloud, “…you like me? Like Han and Leia?”

Steve nods, a blush covering his cheeks, and repeats, “Yeah, like Han and Leia.”

You giggle, and grabbing his hands, pull Steve up to dance around in your bedroom. “This might just be the best Tuesday in the world,” you tell him, dancing like a dork. “Because…I feel the same way, Harrington.”

As you pull him in to kiss, you don’t see the crowd of kids peering through the crack of the half-closed door, watching as you two adolescents finally got together. You don’t see Will beaming, you don’t see Max holding Lucas’ hand.

Your eyes are closed, and you’re close to Steve Harrington, listening to Stevie Wonder. And it is, for you, the best Tuesday in the world. Ever.

#steve harrington #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things x reader #chaotic--lovely #pendragonfics #Female reader

[heartslogos]

the declassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [131]

(804): Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love - (815):  Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that? -

Mahanon stares at his phone and then chucks it across the room. It hits the open lid of his laundry basket with a soft thump before falling in with his clothes, the lid softly following. His phone continues to chime and vibrate, insufferable and impossible to ignore even with the layers of cloth and wicker muffling the object.

He sticks his head under his pillow and ignores the bright red numbers on his alarm clock that proudly and confidently proclaim that he has an hour left before he has to get up and start getting ready for the early morning drive down to the Storm Coast to check up on some unusual readings one of their satellite observatories was picking up. It’s going to be a long, miserable drive with Sera, Maxwell, and Kaaras. Individually Mahanon can handle them. Together? A headache.

Today does not bode well for him thus far. His phone continues to chime and buzz and he hates that he can’t put it on silent or DND mode overnight because the last time he did that was when he was doing a stint as a research assistant in Ferelden and he missed several emergency calls from his sister, his mother, and his father. They eventually managed to get through to him after Ellana got in her car, drove across five counties in two hours, hammered on his door while threatening to bring out an axe. Mahanon had been furious with her before she calmly informed him that their grandmother had a heart attack, fell down in the stairs in her very old, very rickety house far out in the countryside, and was being rushed to the ER.

Thankfully the old goat recovered. But he’s yet to live it down since and sometimes his parents send him texts just to see if he’s paying attention and learned his lesson or not.

Going back to sleep is a futile effort and every part of him knows it, except for the part that beyond annoyed at their cousins for being absolute drunken shits in the group chat. It’s like these people don’t have jobs that they need to be awake for. It’s like they don’t know that some of them, Mahanon namely, has several adult responsibilities such as getting up early to investigate suspicious going-ons for the incredibly powerful, incredibly intimidating, incredibly dubious military-intelligence organization he’s employed with.

He may be awake but he isn’t going to let his cousins win, he’s going to lie here, eyes closed, until his alarm goes off. And eventually, at some point during decent working hours of the day, he’ll answer. Or maybe he won’t and he’ll just catch up with the rest of the chat.

Mahanon groans when he hears the slight creak of floorboards outside his door and then the soft rattle of the doorknob.

“What,” Mahanon says to the darkness.

“You left them on read,” the Iron Bull says, “And now they won’t shut the fuck up.”

Mahanon raises his head to squint at the large shadow looming in his door. “You’re in that one?”

“Yeah. But in this case it wouldn’t matter because Ellana’s phone is also going ballistic,” Bull says. “Why are they so obsessed with your opinion in specific?”

“It’s because he’s the cool cousin,” Ellana’s voice calls out, muffled through the wall. “I keep trying to tell them he isn’t but no one listens to me. Look. Just tell him that yes, you’d love him so we can all go to sleep.”

“That’s appeasement and a dangerous tactic,” Mahanon says.

“Mahanon.”

“Fuck. Fine.” Mahanon kicks his covers back, striding towards his laundry basket, flinging the lid open and glaring down at the lit up rectangle that is his phone. “Do you ever think that as a family we’re too close?”

“No,” Ellana and Bull both say. Mahanon glares at Bull, even as Bull closes the door and retreats back to his shared room with Ellana.

“You aren’t even going to think it over?”

-

“One does not simply play with a sword,” Ellana says uncharacteristically solemn. Her face is scrunched up in disgust. “A sword is not a toy.”

“I don’t know what I expected from this conversation,” Herah mutters to herself, “Truly I don’t.” She raises her voice to reply to Ellana. “Look, can you just tell me if any of your swords are missing? Because this one belongs to either you, Mahanon, or Pentaghast. I don’t own any swords. I don’t even know how I got this. All I know is that I have a vague memory of fighting with Sera and Grim on one of the parapets. And then Grim throwing up over the side of said parapet. But that’s got nothing to do with the fact that somehow we acquired swords and were play fighting.”

“You don’t play with a sword,” Ellana repeats and then gestures for Herah to come inside, eying the cloth wrapped blades Herah’s holding. She turns towards the inside of the house and yells out. “Mahanon, check the swords. I think we might’ve had a break out.”

“You swords routinely attempt escape?”

Ellana ignores Herah’s comment, leading Herah into the kitchen where Bull is in the middle of clearing away breakfast things.

“Adaar,” Bull says, raising a cup of coffee in her direction. “Not the best way to start my morning, but not the worst. What’d you do?”

“Don’t really remember, but it involved swords on top of a parapet,” Herah replies.

“Anyone missing any body parts?”

“Dunno, didn’t check.”

Ellana sweeps her arm over the table, shoving everything to one side. Bull steadies a plate that threatened to fall over with one hand as he watches them. Herah sets the cloth down on the table, unfolding it to reveal the three swords.

Ellana stares at them. Then she goes to check one of them, pulling the blade out of its sheath, frowning, and then putting it back.

“All are where they ought to be,” Mahanon calls back down.

Ellana says, “C’mere.”

She continues to stare at the swords, arms crossed, face inscrutable as Mahanon comes into the room. He stops short upon seeing the blades on the table but comes to stand at his sisters side, eyes narrowing as he adopts her pose.

“So…they aren’t yours,” Herah says. Which means she’s going to have to explain to Pentaghast how her swords ended up in Herah’s hands.

“They’re no ones swords,” Mahanon says. “Pentaghast doesn’t use this type of blade, and they don’t match her reach.”

“Which parapet did you say you were on again?”

“Not sure. The one to the west of the Commander’s office, I think. I seem to remember him coming out to scold us for being rowdy.”

The twins give each other sidelong glances before sighing in unison.

“Adaar. You better bless your lucky stars that you didn’t break any of these. These swords are from the Anderfels collection that the Inquisition is working gathering for display in the Val Royeaux history museum. These are antiques.”

#heartsfic #gather your party and venture forth

[stonersolana]

DND - Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild

so many bullshit things have happened since i last posted such as ~

the party getting trapped in a hell church run by a demon that made us live through our worst fears.

Paja freaking out at being touched or feeling warmth, breaking down into tears when Gilleon dragged her into the igloo so she wouldn't die from the cold. His force and her slipping resulted in them kissing by mistake. Paja gets angry and punches him.

The party gets kidnapped by Simulacra and Paja figures out that Simulacra can't bleed and that's how they could tell the difference between the real them and the others. Unfortunately i rolled a nat 1 and sliced so deep into Paja's arm that she cut the nerves and lost use of everything below the middle of her forearm. She got it removed and replaced with automail that turns into an electrified spike at will.

A Guardian wakes up and a demon wizard kidnapps the party, taking them to the central monster camp. They find out that every living thing has a piece of Demise in them, and the only way to remove it is through a painful rite. the only way to perform the rite is by using these power cores, one core per person. Ati, wanting to become stronger, offers herself up but Paja pushes her out of the way and goes instead. She says that because none of them know how the rite works or even if they'll survive it, it would be best that she goes instead.

Paja gets the darkness ripped out of her (her greed, her lust, her impulsivity, her pride, her cruelty and ruthlessness) and she is forced to fight the horrific mass that continuously ignores her or tosses her aside to try and kill her friends. Paja's Blight has a strange fixation on Gilleon, repeatedly attacking him even when Paja steps in the way to protect him. Eventually the party kills it and once its gone, Paja falls to her knees and openly weeps. She curls in on herself, shaking and screaming at the emptiness inside her.

Paja's personality was pretty much 90% Blight, so now without it, she feels that she is nothing. She drinks herself numb and smokes herself stupid for 2 days, going through crying jags every time she gets somewhat sober. The rest of the party is extremely uncomfortable, having seen Paja as a pillar of strength and power and now having to watch her collapse in on herself.

When the party returns to the Union, they're told that everyone thought they were dead for 3 weeks. When everyone walks into the war room and sees the leaders of all their clans in a heated discussion which slowly quiets when they see the 7 party members that were thought to be dead. Impa sees her daughter Paja and runs up to her, tears running down her cheeks. She hugs her tight and says "you're alive. my baby is alive. you're here. you're safe" over and over. Paja didn't know how much her adoptive mother loved her until that moment and Paja breaks down crying again, saying "I'm sorry, mama. I'm sorry for all of it. i thought you would be relieved, but i guess i was wrong."

The party convinces the Union to work with the Monsters against the Guardian tasked with destroying Demise and is set on killing all the life in Hylia to do so.

The party goes to Gilleon's house for the holiday feast and they meet his family, Paja is still horrifically depressed and refuses to make eye contact with Gilleon. He occasionally tries to prod her, saying something teasing, but she doesn't react. Mako, Gilleon's older sister, pulls Paja aside and asks her what's wrong.

Paja admits that she's in love with Gilleon and that she's known since the church. Her worst fear was watching Gilleon and her mother abandon her, then burn her at the stake. How, now that she has no lid for her emotions, everything is spreading like a grease fire and she has no control over her emotions anymore but when she sees Gilleon, everything quiets. Everything feels manageable, she feels at peace. Which then makes her feel terrible, because she knows Gilleon hates her and they had JUST started becoming friends and her love for him would just ruin that.

Mako sings her a song of healing, mending Paja's broken heart partially. She tells Paja to take it easy for the next few days because something is coming after her party and it feeds on the emotionally weak.

Shelly, Gilleon's mad scientist sister, pulls Paja into her room to do tests on her automail arm. Paja lights up a joint, feeling considerably better, until Gilleon follows her into the room and tries to get Paja to put it out so that his mom doesn't smell it. Paja giggles and flirts with him, then confesses that he makes everything quiet and she loves the blue of his eyes and his smile makes her smile and that she's completely in love with him. She then admits that her worst fear was him and her mother leaving her.

Gilleon snaps at her, saying "So you hate me as much as you hate your mother? Seriously what is wrong with you? You bully me for months then you pull this? What do you hope to gain? Seriously this isn't fucking funny, Paja."

The rest of the day is Gilleon and Paja yelling at each other and miscommunicating. Paja desperately trying to get Gilleon to understand that she loves him and would never want to hurt him while Gilleon thinks that she's lying to fuck with him and that she's decided to bully him again. Seriously, the rest of the session was just Paja and Gilleon yelling at each other. Mako has had enough and she's DONE, so she yanks Gilleon into his room and yells at him something to the effect of "what the actual all encompassing FUCK was that? she was sobbing in my room and one of the things that upset her the most was her love for you, because she knows she fucked up. the least you could do is not be a dick to her so when the thing thats coming to kill you all in 3 days actually comes, maybe you all won't die!"

They visit the Dekuscrub Village (which is a large tree), they get reunited with Nakka. now, no one has any clue who Nakka is. but according to Nakka, Gilleon is his very best friend in the whole word - or any other dimension. That his Gilleon, a merfolk alcoholic Bard, jumped into a portal and got dispersed throughout other dimensions and this was the one Nakka found him in. Little backstory on Nakka: Richard created Nakka in another campaign for one specific purpose. To fuck with the DM. he exploited the system to make a super-charged character. Nakka is extremely strong and can essentially hug people to death. He has bested gods in hand-to-hand combat, he's defeated devils in cooking shows. all while having a +1 on pretty much everything except strength, concentration, and agility. this dude has been through so much shit that is a sudo God and is the Lord of Hell because he kicked Satan down into the dirt. and Nakka has done all of this for his very best friend Gilleon. Gilleon, in the past incarnation, became an alcoholic because Nakka ruined his life. Nakka bested the Goddess Merfolk!Gilleon prayed to every night since he was a child, dethroned her, put Gilleon on her throne, and gifted the goddess to Gilleon as a girlfriend. this broke Gilleon irreparably and he went into a downward spiral of insanity and alcoholism until he threw himself into a void that threw him into multiple dimensions.

Richard decided that every campaign that Ian plays Gilleon in, Nakka will always eventually show up to reunite with his "fishbro". Ian said that every time Nakka shows up, Gilleon will have a knee-jerk reaction to him that will start with crying and end with being hella paranoid all the time.

So, two days after Zora!Gilleon reuniting with Nakka, and Paja basically protecting Gilleon in every combat they get into, Gilleon feels terrible for what he said and pulls her aside during an extended rest. He confesses that yeah, he was scared and hurt when she initially told him that she loved him and it took him some time to accept that New Paja isn't the same as Old Paja. and if he was being honest with himself, he hasn't hated Paja for a long time and actually feels like he would rather be by her side than anywhere else. That he thinks if he were to be without her that he would be miserable. His feelings were that he loved her above all else and never wanted to be without her.

Still scared that he doesn't mean it, she still asks him out on a date and they go for a drink.

Note: Nakka created a door/portal to Merfolk!Gilleon's room in Hell upon meeting this party. Zora! Gilleon picked up a picture of Merfolk!Gilleon and Paja leans over his shoulder and says "hm he's hot." which causes Gilleon to get insecure. Paja found a chest with 69 bottles of 100 proof alcohol. 1 bottle in the 69 is the Krunkinator, which is 2,000 proof alcohol only fit for the king of hell to drink - everyone else will be killed the second their lips touch the liquid. i now need to roll a D65 (we already used or drank 4 of them) every time we pick up a bottle to see if today will be the day we die.

#sunbun speaks #dnd #dnd loz #dnd homebrew #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #loz #loz breath of the wild #dnd shipping

[isolated-loser]

Log 0027, ??pm, 9-????-2019

Monday, the 23th. I when to school, was in math class toward, then end of class we had to go to the board to get "class participation," because showing up isn't good enough, for this fucking bitch, me having stood there, for like five minutes confused at, because I was on the wrong question, because she didn't have them labeled properly. Said something like, my fantastic teacher Miss, McBitchface(iusedherrealnamenotthat), what am I supposed to do, I'm as dumb as a fucking fence, I don't understand what I’m supposed to do with this. Then like a minute later, she say go sit down “I'll find you,” me none the wiser, thinking I might actually get some fucking help, stand there for a moment as someone, a nether student, tells me what I was doing wrong, i.e. that I was trying to do the wrong problem, then I go sit down.

The people sitting next to me, ask why I said that, me still none the wiser, think there referring to me saying I don't know what she wanted me to do. Then at the end if class, I grab my things cuss I need to get to my next class across campus, the teacher tell me I can't leave yet I say something about the fact I need to get to a class across campus, she says something, I say something, she say walk with me, then fucking grabs my arm, hard and pulls me out if the class room, down the hall 20ish feet, then starts chewing me out, I'm still now sure why, and she's all like you know what you did, and how interpret that is, and then she's like now I have to report you for that, and bla bla bla, something something, bla bla, this can be a warning, then she  walks off. I had no fucking idea what I did, I was confused as hell. On the verge of crying, all I did was say, I didn't know what to do, so I'm in trouble because you a bad teacher now? I eventually, figure out it was because, I used a cuss word, at least I think that’s what it was. But this is college; everyone in here is an adult, most if which weren't even young adults So, I'm in trouble for using fowl language, in a room full of fucking adults. It's goddamn bullshit. I even forgot to sign the roll, so I didn't even get credit for being in the class that day.

I would have knocked this bitch on her fat saggy ass, for laying a finger on me. This pretentious motherfucking bitch, needs to get her shit set straight. Gods, all I could think about, most of the day after was how much I wanted to slash her tires; in a way that insurance wouldn't cover it. This shit, pretty much ruined the rest of that day. I was so fucking angry & frustrated. Then in writing comp, I was able to find out the paper, I thought I had due at 12am that morning, I have till then end of the week to complete. So that was a good thing. 

 Later, I went to the nerd shop, to run dnd. When okay. One of my players is going to split of and start his own table, which is good. Sad to see him go, but it's ok. It’s probably a good thing, honestly. I plan to tell whoever’s at my table, that I’m going to try to finish off my campaign the next few sessions. So I can start a new one.

Tuesday, the 24th. When to classes, really didn't want to go to math, that bitch put a bad taste in my mouth. But I didn't have much of a choice, had the test, left. Went to the cafeteria, studied for the history test I had no and hour and a half later, and worked on writing home work, then when to the history test. When I got the five minutes beforehand, I remembered I didn't have a blue book, I was all oh well, cus I thought it was for note to help you on the test, but no it was for the test itself so, couldn't finish the test. I was able to finish a little over half the test, so there's something, I guess. 

After I left Queen invite me over so I when to her place, after having to fight with my mother about a doctor's appointment, I had for nothing I cared about. 

When I got to Tess I hung out, did some more of that writing home work, watched an episode of Lucifer. That actually a really good show from the episode I watched anyway. Then my boy toy Witch boi, called me back and asked if I wanted to go with him to run errands. I was All like yah but I'm hanging with Queen, then queen was like he could pick you up here, then I told him. Then me and Queen watched more Lucifer, and I continue my homework till hottie got there, then I left with him. 

Did a few things, then we got to a parking lot, and he started his have existential dread, I try to comfort him through that, not well. I hate seeing him like that I care about, his bitch ass, and I want to make it better, but I know I can't. I honestly think I might really love him. Which, is tripping me out. I don't like that I care about someone so much. It's strange. It makes me feel weak. But back to what I had be typing about.

Then we eventually got out of the car, cuss hot dying. And leaned, against the back of his car, where he pulled me into a leaning hug, it was so nice. I love being close to him, I was still all in that, what can I do to help him feel better type mood, but he apparently need some more physically affection, and I wasn't going to deny him that, I wanted to be giving him lots of physical affection, but I didn't want to make him feel trapped, uncomfortable, or like I'm trying to get in his pants. Because I know when I'm flipping out, I can be really iffy about touch.

We kissed a few times, he said I looked stunning in the light of the setting sun, but not in those words, then went in to Barnes and Noble, cuss he wanted to get the new magic books. Then we did a few more things. On the way to my home, witch boi, was have tripping over every little thing, I know that minor inconveniences, can trigger suppressed emotions. But I really don't like seeing him upset. It makes me upset. He shouted at one point, not at me, but that, I don't like that.

 Wednesday, the 25th. It was alright, didn't do too, too, much. Started it of with a panic attack, Did my classes, got chewed out some by my bio teacher, but eh. Tried to help a dude I know, set up a game of vampire the masquerade. It was, what it was. Then I'd some math homework. And drew some, It's been a long while since I've had an urge to draw, that bad. So, I did. That's about it. Mood was low all day. When o I got in the car to go home I started having a nether panic attack, which was really not good.

During the ride I kept seeing in me brain, bad things. I was really mad at someone, I don't know why. Then I started saying really fucked up shit, and strangling them, then it flipped to where I was tarring open a type of dog and ripped its jaw bone from its skull, I could feel the blood.  I didn't want to, I really didn't want to. It was flipping me out really hard, then my boyfriend, Witch boi texted me, being like hay, and I asked if I could call him in a few minutes, he responded so happy like. When I got home still flipping out really bad, I called and he tried to comfort me. He was so patient, and caring, gods, I don't deserve him. After a while I eventually calmed down, and we talked normal then eventually end the call everything seem ok. He told me to call him later, if I needed him. Then I went and did my nightly-s, still a little messed up, feeling bad for making him have to deal with that.    

Thrsday, the 26th. It was a day. I didn't go to school. When to planned Parenthood to do the pre appointment to get an IUD. Then when I got there come to find out it wasn't a pre appointment, it was a lugit appointment to get the IUD. I was supposed as f. I sure as hell wasn't going to say no, cus that was the untire reason I made the original appointment. So I sat my happy ass down got it done. It wasn't plesint. It frankly sucked, but I was prepared for to yo be a lot worst. There were cramps but I got through it. Then I skeguled an otrasoned, to check it later. Then left, checked out the local spirit shop. The when to the nerd shop for DND. Started cramping badly about 2 hours after I got to the shop. Tryed to play I honestly wasn't that activity during the game everyone felt bad for me which sucks, but I was weak and putetick. On and of crying the whole game. Got a ride home with eyebrows. When I got home, I did my shit. Witch boi texted me, then we texted back in forth for a few, he was feeling not ok and need to call me, he didn't say such I could just tell, so seid if he need to call me he could and then he did, and we talked. So he doesn't want to effect me with his mental health, like that's even a fucking facter. Like God damnit. I fucking love this fool and he's worried about fucking up my mental health, my mental health is already shit it would be really hard to fuck up my metal health further than it already is. Gods I don't know.

Friday, the 27th. It was a day I couldn't get much sleep, and was still cramping, so I didn't go to class. Went to little wars, hung with Rat, played magic. I played 3 games, one on one with rat, that I won with 3070 1/1 rat tokens, that made my rat colunys super beefy, second me Rat and a nether dude, who killed killed me , then the last one where it was me Rat that other did & eyebrows, where me and eyebrows ended up being the last tow players eye brows fucking recked my rats, but I had fun. I would have played a few more games but the cramps were getting to bad so I when out side for a bit, then came back in, then back out, then back in. Witch boi then showed up, we went outside and talked for a while. It got emotional, and shit. His friends told him that that think that his relationship with me is to much for him right now, and he wasn't sure if that were right and shit. And we talked about that for a few hours, in which we almost bruck up. I hate that I let myself love him. We were seconds from it I should have just let it happen seve us both the fucking pain later. I've fucked up. Letting my self fall for him. I knew it was going to end like this. I knew I was driving myself over. I just knew. But I fucking did it enyway. I always fuck myself over

Saterday the 28th witch boi and I broke up.

A text to witch boi, form Sunday the 29th

*Start*

I feel like shit. Physically. Mentally. That's to be expected. I woke up having a panic attack, where I was shacking so hard I couldn't breath, desperate for anyone. I've cycled through, panic attacks, numbness, crying, over & over today. Why, I'm telling you this. I know, I shouldn't be, since we're not a thing. It's not going to fix this. It can't change what is, what happened. It's pointless. I guess it's just some bullshit attempt to make myself feel better, that isn't going to work. I shouldn't send this, but I am. I can't make it any worse, or maybe I can, but what difference would it make it all shaddered anyway. I'm not ok. I don't want to be. I would not have gotten here if I was. I would not be what I am. I'll take the ride as dangerous as it maybe. As desperately as I need you. It will fade. Everything dose. Days will pass the love will turn into hate before fading to indifference. As much as I wish the past days never happened, that everything was like before, they did, there real. Touchable. It can't be how it was. I let you see my black. I knew it was going to happen. The day before was a drop of water to start a title wave of nothing. I scared you. It hurts that I did. I didn't want that. I can't change it. I have my bad. I always will. Its not an option. I can't change it out. Even if I could I wouldn't. I never wanted it to end like that. I didn't want it to end at all. But it doesn't matter now. I don't think it ever really did. I wanted this to work.  I really did. But I broke it. I'm sure I could continue over all my missteps, but I'm not. There's no point in it. 

Here's a wall of text don't bother reading it, it does nothing

*stop*

Yeah it was a start time. I’m going to start logging aging. So bla bla bla. will post new up date tomorrow or next day.

 Signing Off…                                                                                                      

Favorite song today: N/a

Mood: Mostly lows

#eh #life #ex boyfriend #old #oldoldold #bipolar #actuallybipolar #personal #idk

[zippdementia]

Part 16 Alignment May Vary: The Drowned Tower

Welcome to the continuing adventures of the Tomb of Haggemoth, a DnD 3.5 adventure converted to 5th edition, and with some extra material thrown in that’s meant to build up to a second campaign, the well known Red Hand of Doom.

The first night that the group spends with former soldiers Xavier, Biggs, Fritz, and Samuel is rife with difficulty. Abenthy tends to those wounded in the shipwreck in a harrowing fifteen minutes of roleplaying, during which he tries to keep one man from losing a leg while another screams in agony from a fever that won’t abate. The remaining crew, pushed to their limits, debate killing the screaming man to end his suffering, while Abenthy tries to buy more time. Eventually his healing powers prevail and he collapses into an exhausted rest. In the end, only one life is lost of those who escaped the ship: Igor, the man who was native to Friezorazov and who had become a drunk in Ottoman’s Dock after being run out of his native land. Igor took an injury to the head while escaping and dies as they reach the island. Karinna keeps an amulet he had around his neck, sensing it was magical, not knowing it was something he had stolen from the giant’s tribute, all those years ago.

The day after brings more confrontation: Clem wants to set to building a raft so they can all leave the island as soon as possible. Others believe they can stay on this island and survive until they can craft a more seaworthy vessel. Still others ask why they are considering leaving at all, as the island seems to have enough food and water to provide for a small village. The group is split on what to do, though they all agree they must get back to their quest as soon as possible. Zennatos will succumb to the curse at some point, after all.

They do not solve the problem right now. Instead, the three companions go hunting (a clear need is food, so why not focus on that?), and on the trip they come to a bluff overlooking the sea. Here they spot a familiar ship sailing into a cave far beneath them, a ship with a Red Hand painted on its sails. Then a branch snaps behind them: three Ratzotto pirates—identifiable by their grungy appearance, their tell-tale curved cutlasses, and the tattoos on their necks—emerge from the woods and attack!

It’s fun, as a player, to take on the same enemies at different times, as a measure of your own growth in ability. The last time they fought these pirates, they won, but not without taking some massive hits. It was a long, drawn out fight. This time, they wipe the floor with them. One they even capture, and after tying him up, Abenthy casts Zone of Truth on him....

Abenthy knelt next to the large man and cuffed him the rest of the way awake. “Tell me,” he ordered. “Tell me what you were doing here.”

The man smiled and responded, “We are here because HE has found someone he wants to put through the ritual, the ritual in the tower. He says the girl is perfect for the ritual, that she has powers like him.” The pirate’s eyes went wide and his mouth drooped in an “O” of shock as the words that came out of his mouth were not the lies he had planned, but rather the bald truth.

“Show us where,” Abenthy growled. “Show us where and you can have your life.”

“Yes! Untie me and I will stab you in the back first chance I get!” The man shook his head in confusion as the truth was forced out of him by the spell. “I want you to go fuck yourselves!” he added.

The sentiment was, after all, also the truth.

Eventually the party disposes of their prisoner and find on his body a scrawled message in runic. Karinna uses her Comprehend Languages spell and reads a curious doublet:

These phrases will get you through the traps. Commit the words to memory, destroy this message.

The Tide Rises.

Embrace the Cold Sea!

The note is signed at the bottom: TARGARYEN.

Dungeon Analysis: The Drowned Tower

By nightfall, the group has traced the footsteps of the pirates back to their tower. It is a ruined, sunken thing with only its top still visible above ground:

Within the dense swamp, hundreds of feet of thick mud splits apart revealing the stone roof and battlements of the Drowned Tower. Half of the roof is still covered in mud. A deep pit likely once held fires that could be seen far out over the coral sea. A broken staircase leads down into the buried tower while part of the stone roof has broken away revealing rotted wooden support beams and shadows of the room below.

This tower is taken with little change from an adventurer’s league dungeon, from the Elemental Evil season. I wanted a short dungeon, something water themed, to tie in with the pirates. This dungeon comes with a fun end boss that suggested a good fate for Targaryen, filling in for me the gap of what had happened to him since his “death” aboard the Red Hand of Doom ship many sessions ago. The hook I replaced with “rescue Jade (Targaryen’s sister) from whatever Targaryen is planning (the players rightly assume Jade is the “girl” the pirate referred to). The dungeon actually ended up taking two sessions to get through, so I won’t go through each and every moment. I will touch on some of the major events, though, and finish next time with the boss fight.

The basic premise of the tower is that it is buried in mud and still slowly sinking. With the increased activity at the tower, the speed of its sinking has increased so that the players are made to feel like it could collapse in on itself at any moment. There’s no real mechanic to govern this, but it does create a cool atmosphere.

Of course, the writing on the Adventurer’s League modules is always rushed and so there are confusions here about how some of the dungeon works. One of the more egregious examples are the glyphs protecting two of the rooms, bypassable by saying the passwords above. One is hidden under water, without a very good indication of how a player is supposed to detect it without making a random, cautionairy perception check. The other is protecting a door which I can’t tell if it is open or not. The read-aloud text says it is open... but the room description says it is closed. I just picked closed because otherwise the glyph trap is pointless.

Otherwise, I like it because it has really well self-contained encounters, several of which operate more like traps than combat experiences. If not handled intelligently/cleverly, these encounters can lead to a total party kill pretty quickly. I like this, because it breaks the mold of “walk into room, fight enemies, roll dice until one side is dead.” Having enemies much more powerful than the players can face but which have their own restrictions on attacking and moving makes things more exciting.

The more normal encounters are against a combination of reavers (fishmen pirates) and fathomers (fishmen pirates who can turn into water serpents), both enemies from the elemental evil campaign. It makes for a cool thematic touch to our campaign, as in our story the Ratzotto pirates were comandeered by the demon pirate Testain Reeves after the events of the Moon Sea from which only Karrina escaped. Tagaryen still had possession of the Jade Statue when Reeves claimed his soul, and the combination of dark powers has been transforming the pirates into monstrous versions of themselves, and Targaryen, as the players will discover, is no exception...

The Black Pudding

What is possibly the Tower’s hardest challenge is probably never seen by most parties. In what seems an odd design choice, there is a door guarded (see above) by a glyph, but which is also CLEARLY not the way to go forward. The reward for going through the door is the possibility of finding some treasure (monetary, not magical) and to fight these guys.

That looks painful. This is one of those rooms which operates like a trap. Once discovered, the Black Oozes will follow the party around, trying to trap them in a room or force them to blunder into another trap. They are not to be trifled with, either. Black Ooze hits like a truck, with acidic weapon and armor destroying damage that makes the party less effective at surviving the next hit and dealing out damage of their own. And being unintelligent Oozes, it is not inconcievable that they will sit on an unconcious player’s face, forcing critical failures on their death saves until the player dissolves into a spongy mass of bone and muscle.

Our group encounters them when they flee other terrors in the tower and go looking for healing items and powerful weapons to help them get further. They find an old library and begin to poke around, disturbing the current denizens of the room. Tywin at this point is level 5, and that means he gets a potential of five attacks each turn: an extra attack each time he uses the attack action, a bonus action with his off hand, and if he uses one of his abilities, an addition attack action (and subsequent attack). And in DnD 5e there is no such thing as full round action, meaning he can move in between any and all of these attacks. His strategy, then, has been to take point, moving to the nearest enemy and cleaving them, then moving on if he takes them down and has movement left. If his first attack doesn’t take them down, he plants his feet and goes at them until they drop.

And that is the absolute worst strategy to use against a Black Ooze. But of course, Tywin doesn’t know that. So he rushes in, slashing, and immediately splits the Ooze into multiple Oozes. He realizes his error and pulls back... but he underestimates how fast the Oozes can move (he pulls back 15 feet, and they can move 20). They are on him in seconds, pulling him down into their acidic depths, enveloping him in a corrosive slime that quickly sends him into unconsciousness. Worse, he pulled back to the doorway, meaning that the Oozes are now blocking the way out for Karrina and Abenthy.

Karrina, though, is slippery as heck. She disengages and darts past the Oozes, dragging Twyin’s body with her, force feeding him a potion, and then escaping with him even as the Ooze latches onto his legs, burning him so badly he falls again unconscious. 

This leaves Abenthy trapped in the ruined library with four or five split Oozes. Thinking fast, he climbs a nearby bookshelf, then starts bashing a hole in the decrepit roof. Just as the Ooze is beginning to climb the shelf, he bursts through into the light of dusk and escapes the tower.

The encounter forces them to take a long rest. During the middle of the night, Abenthy (on guard) sees a bright light erupt from the tower and then quickly fade. It leaves him feeling concerned for the fate of Jade, but there is nothing to do except let Tywin’s wounds heal and then tackle the tower again in the morning.

The next day, they come up with an intriguing solution to the Ooze (which has coalesced and is filling the lower hallways, blocking the way back into the depths of the tower). They find a room filled with zombies (incidentally, Karrina recognizes them as islanders from back in her adventures in the Moon Sea, taken prisoner aboard the Red Hand ship), and Abenthy shepherds them into the Ooze using his Turn Undead ability. While it is busy gorging itself, the party slips past without incident, though the tower is looking the worse for wear today:

Perhaps it is magic that held this tower up so long, magic now finally fading, or perhaps it is simply that time has caught up with the tower, or maybe whatever ritual Targaryen planned here upset the delicate balance of the tower—in any case, today as you walk the ruined halls, the smell of damp earth is more pungent and around you echoes the slight sound of trickling mud and shifting earth. Every so often, a thin stream of mud falls from the ceiling as the tower settles even deeper into the earth. You can almost feel the weight of hundreds of tons of rock and dirt pressing around you, like a great hand gripping your chest. The tower does not have much longer to stand. Soon its stone shall return to the stone of the earth and anyone left in here when that happens will be buried forever.

Splash

One of the more interesting encounters comes from a room where two Reavers are walking around carrying giant flasks that look to be glowing slightly and filled with liquid. The party is quick to snipe them as soon as they enter the room, Karrina scoring a critical on one of the pirates and killing him instantly while Abenthy is locked in mortal combat with him. His flask drops and...

The flask falls to the ground with a crash, shattering on impact. The liquid inside sprays out in an oddly contained manner, as if it is a single pool of water spreading through the air, rather than many droplets scattering everywhere. The pool settles on top of Abenthy like a blanket, the stone and mud floor suddenly sinking underneath him with a slurping sound. Abenthy tries to cry out, but his mouth fills with liquid and he cannot breathe! 

The other reaver, seeing this, curses and throws his own flask into a well of water in the middle of the room. He chuckles evilly as the well begins to bubble and ripple, and turns to run. Out of the pool comes hands, many hands, and they reach quickly across the room to grab Twyin, pulling him closer to the water’s edge..

These are Water Weirds, and they are an unusual enemy. Very powerful at this level—with powerful attacks and the ability (and intention) to drown players whom they manage to get a hold of—they are limited by their confinement to water. This means that in this room they make a trap. They have a fifteen foot reach, meaning their attacks of opportunity are pretty vicious. 

Tywin and Abenthy barely manage to break free and flee the room with Karrina, slamming the door behind them. They can hear the cries of the remaining Reaver through the door until they are abruptly cut off. Without anyone else to attack, the weirds turned on their captor.

This is the fight that convinces them to go looking for treasure upstairs, leading to the disastrous encounter with the Ooze. The next day, the players return and this time they use a clever combination of disengaging, dashing, and dodging to tactically move their way across the room. Even so, Twyin trips just before the stairs leading down and out of the room and is grabbed again. Only a mighty strength roll lets him burst free and escape with the others. It is a close call, and Tywin wonders how many lives he has left to spend as he descends into the darkened final floor of the tower.

Next time, Old Debts.

#Tomb of Haggemoth #Playthrough #dnd 5e #epic #Dungeons and Dragons #Journey Log #Wizards of the Coast #fantasy #RPG

[enthusiastichaikyuufans-blog]

matchup: elliott (+nsfw)

hiya! im elliott and im a trans guy, he/him pronouns.

appearance: i have ginger hair that’s kinda longish (i keep it tied back in a small bun sometimes), and its super wavy! i have blue/green eyes and i wear glasses (got a hipster vibe goin on). i have a bit of facial hair, just some scruff on my chin. i have pale skin with freckles around my cheeks and nose. i have a thicker build! big boned and soft, but strong if that makes sense? theres some muscle under the chub. i’m 5'9.

my MBTI is INFJ and i’m a pisces, and they both fit me very well!

personality: i consider myself to be a funny guy, but i can also be serious when needed. nerdy i guess? im also supportive - i like to help people out, and my friends + family mean the world to me. i get a bit closed off at times, and i have issues with commitment and my social anxiety gets in the way of relationships, but i try my best! i have a dry sense of humor and sometimes i can be a bit bitchy, but i try to be positive too!! i love puns and memes,, i usually use humor to deflect from my emotions because im scared of being vulnerable. feeling things is kinda hard for me because of depression + anxiety and i need help to actually feel certain emotions. despite that, i go into most situations with a smile!

likes/interests: i love video games!! theyre probably my #1 hobby. i love the immersive world and being able to escape into a game. zelda games are my favourite. im also a sucker for sports (played soccer and volleyball in school), but im chill with nerdy stuff too (anime, manga, dnd). im also artsy! ive been into photography and graphic design all my life. sleeping is my fav thing in the world and i can sleep for So Long. i love cats!! i have an adorable kitty named mino. i love autumn; the colorful leaves, the sweater weather, and the coziness!

dislikes: crowds, being around lots of noise. conflict is the worst and i try to avoid ppl fighting at all costs. ive never been a very outgoing person and i hate parties, esp ones with drugs and alcohol (id rather chill by myself and with friends). im not a fan of summer bc it gets way too hot and uncomfortable, i’d rather be cold than warm. im not a fan of meeting new people, i prefer old friends rather than new friends and i tend to get weird and quiet around new people. im very smart, but school was never fun for me because i was bullied very harshly. i didnt enjoy the stress of the environment either.

sexual preference: gay!! i like boys

headcanons: - what did he first like about me/what attracted him to me? my personality, looks, etc? - how do our personalities mesh and clash? do we argue, or generally get along? - what kind of physical affection headcanons do you have? is he affectionate or more closed off? whats the cuddle and kissing dynamic like?

nsfw headcanons: - what kind of turn ons do we both have in bed? - whats the general sexual dynamic? is it soft or more rough? whos more dominant? - any other nsfw headcanons are welcome (/u\)

thank you and i hope this isnt too difficult!! i hope i get someone good :3!! love your blog & keep up the good work!!

I ship you with Kenma Kozume!

You two would be “the chill couple that is never seen ever”. Both of you would prefer to stay indoors and play video games than go to a wild party on the weekends. Being with Kenma would be stress-free cause half the time he doesn’t give any shits. + dry humour together yee.

You’d probably have been introduced to each other by a mutual friend or something, but Kenma would be super happy about the fact you share his love of gaming. Though it might not be obvious. Physically, he’d like the fact you’re rly soft, but also strong. Even though he’s not like- hugely sporty, he really likes the fact you enjoy them. Not to mention you’re smile (makes him melt). He’d probably be very loved by your cat. He’s a cat magnet.  

Man, you two would get along fantastically. There would rarely ever be fighting unless it concerns forcing Kenma outside to do anything he don’t wanna do. Even then, it’s more like an affectionate “Fuck off” than anything and cuddling later (SPOONING).

Kenma is kind of in the middle when it comes to physical affection. He’s a little bit standoff-ish at first but slowly becomes comfortable with things. Shy boy, he doesn’t know how to hug and do things very well so he really needs some guidance. Since you’re soft it’s very comforting for Kenma. When it’s cold he really wants cuddles, so be prepared to provide. But he won’t say, he expects you to know when he wants one. That’s a tricky thing in the relationship. Kisses are usually very short and sweet, he doesn’t really know what to do to make it heated or more passionate. He’s very awkward with kissing in general and doesn’t know what to do when you kiss him. He’d rather initiate otherwise he doesn’t react and just sits there.

NSFW

It’s tough to say for Kenma, but he probably likes hair pulling. I dunno, I just think that he’d really like it. Him pulling your hair, you pull his hair, it doesn’t really matter. He’s kinda vanilla, precious thing. But he does prefer to be dominated and treated like gold. Not like he won’t do the same for you, but he’s very shy about it.

Sure, Kenma likes to be dominated, but he doesn’t mind if he dominates. I imagine it’d be soft sex mostly, very intimate and loving. Kenma would like to see your face during it, even if he got really embarrassed if you say his. He thinks that your eyes are pretty and is just an awkward kitty cat in bed mostly.

He’s not really kinky, but he’s mostly willing to try new things unless it involves teasing or being denied of something. He’d probably wear a cat costume if you wanted him to, or even a skirt or cosplay. He’d be able to pull it off too.

#matchup #haikyuu #haikyuu matchup #Kenma Kozume #submission