#i really enjoyed her floor

[akkivee]

TO THE ABSOLUTE KING!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMATOKI-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!

#samatoki aohitsugi #mad trigger crew #hypmic #hypnosis mic #*falls to the floor* I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DREW SAMATOKI AND DIDNT FEEL DISGUSTED BY THE END PRODUCT #MY I CANT DRAW SAMATOKI CURSE HAS BEEN DEFEATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU UNFAIRLY GORGEOUS BASTARD #IDK WHAT YOU WERE DOING IN JAIL FOR JUTO TO BE COMPLAINING ON YOUR BDAY BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED HIM TREATING YOU OUT FOR ONCE LOL #AND THAT RIOS FOREST SPECIAL MEAT AND COFFEE BEANS WERE PALATABLE #AND THAT YOU WERE HAPPY TODAY DESPITE NOT REALLY CARING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY #AND THAT NEMU HAD YOU IN HER THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TODAY LMAO #💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 #vee is arting

[quietwingsinthesky]

if supernatural was any good, they would have had mary and lucifer sleep together in the apocalypse world. this would have solved zero problems with the show, but it would have created a hundred more interesting ones than they already had.

#they could have done this. for me. #it should have gone really well too. for mary and lucifer i mean. #because that would be 1000x worse for everyone else involved. if mary enjoyed herself and bonded with him. #doesn’t even have to be much of a bond but like. just enough that when sam and dean are there. it’s so incredibly uncomfortable. #sam like :) this is the second time my mother has slept with someone complicit in torturing me. i feel normal about this and its not #messing me up so bad im going to scream. this is fine. #dean would freak the fuck out about it though. openly and loudly. it’s *lucifer*. #which. of course. trying to tell mary that she’s not allowed to do what she’s already decided she’s doing because dean doesn’t want her to. #yeah. im sure that’ll go well. #lucifer doesn’t even have to do anything to drive a wedge between them besides sit there look pretty and eat mary out until she screams. #easiest job in the world #and most importantly: it would have been hot. literally just let someone walk in on mary pinning the devil himself to the floor. #why not give me this one thing huh

[flugame-mp3]

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

#theo.txt #spn #charlie #spn spoilers #spn 10x21 #almost none of the women who've gotten fridged on this show have deserved it but still #good god this one made me especially angry #why do you use this character for a plot point and then ship her off somewhere. to oz or to the afterlife. so often? #she was such a cool character with a good story that i enjoyed and related to and THIS is what they did with her?? and from my perusing she #doesn't even really come back like bobby occasionally does?? and his death. while devastating to me as somebody who really liked him. still #felt WAY better than this #sorry i ended that episode with my jaw on the fucking FLOOR oh my god. /neg #what did she have to die for? where is that post about female characters dying so male characters can feel sad but it's a gifset of all the #bullshit ass deaths of women on supernatural #i love the show fucking obviously but jesus h christ. #but also you know what. having the context that i have. still a fucked up thing to say but i see why dean says That to sam now during #charlie's funeral. it IS an interesting look into how they respond to the other one violating their wishes/freedoms and into their larger #dynamic actually! but thats not what this post is really about #wow. i am actually livid. poor fucking charlie. #if she was like a sister to the winchesters how about you bring her back huh? how about you revive her? jesus christ #i wonder what her heaven is like. i hope its dnd and movie night with the girls #i took a little break mid-typing this to see if i was just being insane and angry but no the super wiki has a whole section about the fan #outrage at charlie's death and the discussions it furthered about the show's misogynistic tendencies #and you know what? good! #ok anyway. im going to go browse charlie art and feel abnormal now. #supernatural #charlie bradbury

[milkweedman]

Somehow am on spindle number 2 of this fiber. I grabbed a little just to test out a new spindle and now im thinking maybe a laid 3 ply, one ply for each spindle.

#really liking the colorway too #dont enjoy spinning it all that much bc i just dont like spinning roving #but it looks pretty. and it should make a nice yarn #fair amount of interest from customers today #one older guy asked if i had a loom and said his mother would spin on spindles and then make them blankets on her loom #big floor loom as far as i can tell from his description #always cool to hear about #handspun yarn #spinning #supported spindle

[sailforvalinor]

.

#oh my gosh I forgot to mention this but I got connected with the most wonderful church here #it’s an international church so there are a lot of people cycling in and out #and it’s on the 7th floor of a building and a bit hard to find #but it is absolutely wonderful and the people are so welcoming #I’ve met SO MANY people and I feel like I’m doing well with socializing for once #I made friends with a couple of girls and we’ve run around and done fun stuff together and had actual serious conversations #and like I’m wondering if one of the reasons God has me here is to teach me how to be a member of a church family independent of my family #because you know being the preachers kid—that has expectations. you’re at church on Sunday because your dad’s in the pulpit #(not that that’s actually the only reason for me but that’s what it looks like to other people) #here though I’m at church because I want to be there. I’m an independent woman who chose to come to church on her own #and I’m really enjoying it! #Val’s gone globetrotting

[iron-sides]

its always amusing to me in fic when like, tim or dick (or to a lesser extent damian idk whats going on in his team-ups) go missing and only bats are looking for him. like girl if tim misses the weekly young justice get together batman is going to have 5 to 8 teens/children/adults (depending on if ray and traya come to these events and if reddy goes since trayas there. i think ray and traya are there i could take or leave red tornado not the point) knocking down his door demanding to know what hes done to their robin. and when they find out he's missing? they got together an ARMY to invade zandia when anita's dad was missing. an army. batmans going to have a meta on every street corner in three hours whether he wants them there or not like??? girl tim "unlike batman i have friends" drake is not only missed by the bats

idk the titans well enough to say anything specific about if dick went missing however i just dont buy that they wouldnt notice and i double dont buy that they wouldnt muscle their way into the search. like be serious.... donna troy? roy harper? wally west? garth whatever his last name is? kory anders? vic cyborg? gerfield logan? i dont know any other titans but do you think any of these people would mind their business. i dont know them so idk but like i kind of doubt it

#my thots #nothing takes me out of a fic like a search party for tim that doesnt even include the birds of prey #like ur telling me helena just doesnt care? r u dumb? #bc theres no world in which babs didnt tell her i just dont buy that like... :// idk man godbless #it takes all types to make a world #ficposting #to be clear i can absolutely enjoy fics that forget tim and dick have friends i spend way too much time reading fic my standards are on the #floor ill read just about anything whether i agree with characterization or not (within reason) #actually this post was inspired by a fic that im rereading rn i do enjoy it idk if op has ever. read comics im really not sure (if they hav #i think it was only batfam comics & no team-ups tho) but its still fun man i do enjoy this fic

[bitegore]

I'm truly fighting tooth and nail to get to sleep until 9:30 these days, its unreal

#red rambles #i cant really call them nightmares because they were interesting and fun dreams i kept deliberately throwing myself back into after the plo #went entirely to shit in them all but i kept dreaming about like my friends and family all dying or me accidentally killing my pet lizard o #spilling soda all over the floor at a funeral and shit like that #and between each dream i kept waking up #first time was at 3am and then it was fucking hourly from there #maybe more than that i think the sun was up three times i wole #genuinely want to make sure you all understand that i enjoyed these dreams a lot more than i enjoy the ones where nothing goes sideways #because then i get to solve whatever happened and it's a fun puzzle #the imagery of stroking the spine of a proud and beautiful creature and having its scales rub off with my hand and start bleeding everywherz #is probably the only part that actually felt bad to experience because it came completely out of nowhere and then she freaked out and kept t #trying to bite me as an injured animal is wont to do if you are in it's space and hurt it so i had to keep grabbing her and her scales kept #coming off LMAO #but beyond that i was genuinely having fun it's just that the dreams would end and then i'd wake up

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

Luther sure loves walking the extremely-almost-incest tightrope

#I'm sorry but his thing with Sloan makes me uncomfortable too #them making out on the floor while talking about THEIR SHARED FATHER #I do not enjoy that #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy spoilers #the umbrella academy season 3 #the umbrella academy season 3 spoilers #and I care for Alison I really do but GIRL WHAT #you know the scene I'm talking about #I can understand and forgive most of the things she did this season #I found her antagonistic arc really powerful #HOWEVER #anyways if theres a season 4 I would like Luther to go on a date with a non-hargreeves please

[victory-cookies]

the only irl friend I have that I feel comfortable actually talking about the things I enjoy with just insulted me for gushing about smth to her over snap last night and now I want to cry

#this is going in the tags bc it’s stupid but it’s making me sad so #the only irl friend I have that I actually felt comfortable sharing my interests with just made fun of me #for gushing to her about smth over snap last night #and I’m at work rn so I can’t even cry bc in a few minutes I’m back out on the floor #but just like. I think I have rsd (especially around my interests and then my intelligence but that’s not pertinent here) #so I’ve never really been super open about what things interest me bc when I get made fun of for it or those things get insulted #It really hurts #the only people I’ve really felt comfortable opening up to are like. Sid obv and then this one friend of mine #bc the two of us found out we shared some interests and started like. telling each other about other things we like #I’d tell her about my silly little tv shows and podcasts and she’d tell me about the movies and books she was into #and I’ve explained to her before how I’ve never really been comfortable enough to talk about that shit and how I appreciated her being kind #and not insulting me like other people have in the past #but today I’m sitting on break and watching the replies she sent me and one of them is just a clip in response to my video from last night #where she just goes ‘girl I literally don’t care’ (and this was not in a joking way like that was her response #and it was in a tone that implied ‘so shut up about it’) #and like I get it! I am often not interested in the things that people tell me about! but I try to be earnest and engaged #and I can understand loving smth and wanting to share it with others! and how it sucks when people are then mean about it! #like when she tells me about a teen drama romance book or sends me instagram reels of cake decorating I try to respond with enthusiasm! #bc while the content may not interest me I like hearing about the things she enjoys and I’m glad she feels open to telling me about stuff! #but now I don’t want to share shit with her anymore bc this has given me a huge spike in anxiety and I feel like shit #idk. it’s stupid but it sucks #vent #ig

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Hello wackus, my internet finally let me load ao3 and by gosh am I so delighted because those 2,895 words wrecked me!!!

It can only be assumed Adrien found out, stopped (or killed hehe) his dad and has just be floating since. It is so potent in his every word and action yet Ladybug is so blind to it!

Her annoyance at first, the fact they’re still dancing around each other even when they’re dating “another person”, the platonic marriage and the guilt. All the guilt he’s shouldering because he doesn’t know and she can’t know, Ladybug’s insists no one can know.

“It was just like that,” he sighed, addressing the night. “In my dream.”

Ladybug watched him, feeling the same shadows that had claimed him consume her too. “What happened then?”

“I woke up,” Chat Noir murmured. “My father woke me up.”

FAVOURITE LINE OF THE YEAR. So badass. So sad

The subtext, the little drama queen he is. Of course he’d say something so dark and foreboding like that in the same conversation he asked to platonically marry LB and have platonic children together.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

helloo my dear sizzle <33 i'm so happy to hear you liked my little wish fulfillment angst fic <333

i've seen a ton of speculation about just what exactly is going on with chat noir in rest your head (upon my shoulder) hehe. all i can say is, i wrote it to be pretty open for reader interpretation >;)) there's definitely evidence to support a couple of theories isn't there? yours are pretty solid, 100/10, excellent job close reading!

#honestly i just really enjoyed making chat noir cry on ladybug's shoulder #like she loves him so much she can't just turn her feelings for him off #but also that's exactly what she's trying to do #meanwhile she's caught him in the midst of a mental break #and she can't ask no matter how much she wants to #even though it feels wrong to prioritize secrecy over HIM #heuegrueigurh i just love ladynoir so much #endless angst potential #very happy you liked it sizzle i was grinning reading this! #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #miraculous fanfic #rest your head (upon my shoulder) #ladynoir #selkie also called it floor time in the fountain so that's what i named it on google docs LOL

[allmyoldhaunts]

no one gets her like i get her (juliet capulet)

#listen. listen. #my tolerance for bad faith romeo and juliet takes is on the floor #i don't care how 'edgy' you think they are #and honestly i think most are fostered by it being taught in school #to students who don't get it and don't give a crap #i mean i didn't really care about it when i read it in school #but juliet capulet is not dumb she's so smart! between the two she's the analytical one #can she be naive? yes of course #we see that she enjoys very little of the freedom that romeo has #(she's constantly asking permission to go places/ having the nurse deliver her letters) #her relationship with her parents is easily the most important to understanding her characterization #she was the one who did what she was told #but the second she says no it's clear that what was presented to her as a choice wasn't one at all #she's put in the position where faking her death was her best option! #file this under things that are incomprehensible to anybody but me

[wayward-wren]

Well the stranger things finale was fun! I have been through so many emotions today, but I needed that distraction I think.

My one(? at least) complaint is that Max got got.

Like.... maybe El brought her back to life (question mark is she actually alive or just her body?), and maybe she'll recover and she has her friends around her when/if she wakes up, but she was got.

She died.

The depression won.

And that sucks. I think most of all I wanted Max to be okay, to show that you're able to heal from that dark place, y'know? And it sucks that she didn't.

#stranger things #stranger things season 4 volume 2 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things spoilers #zeeb dont look #i am related to max this season #maybe not exactly in the same way #but the sense of being stuck #of not being able to open up to friends #the darkness yknow #and seeing her LOSE really sucked #i guess that was kinda the point of the season - end on a low note so the show ends on a high note #storytelling rules and all that #but i hate stories that say you can fight against depression or darkness or whatever #and then turn around and say actually. you still lose. #other than that i did really enjoy the last two episodes #even if i had to take a break and have floor time for a bit #give steve a proper arc in season 5 tho pls #and will poor kid has been doing nothing but SUFFER the entire show

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

I'm on the phone with my sister, and my 12 year old niece just came home with a friend. they're talking about how my niece got sent out of class, and I can't even hear what they're saying through all the giggling and sound effects. my niece literally can't even finish mimicking how her teacher shouted because she just keeps giggling. apparently the incident involved tripping over a bag and she was on the floor showing what happened. my sister asked her: "so what did you learn from this?" to which my niece shouted through giggles: "NOTHING". I love these children so much, and I'm so glad I get to watch them grow up.

#my niece is so unbothered by anything school related it's great #she just thinks it's all really funny #(she does get VERY bothered if one of her friends does something not nice or she gets left out of things) #(but as long as it's teachers/school she just doesn't care and I think that's great of her. I hope she keeps that attitude.) #I'm enjoying this phase that's somewhere in between child and teenager so so much #my niece is so sassy and giggly (and judgemental) and still talks about playing with friends #but she's also had her first boyfriend (and break up) #it's weird to know that in a couple of years there'll be jobs and dating and going clubbing and thinking about college #when today she was on the floor giggling with her friend talking about her angry teacher before going off to play

[volfoss]

like... to get an idea of what all id need to do. for anyone curious ig and also to just... totally beat the allegations of yucky little beast:

survey the damage... bc shes obviously in VERY bad shape. so id need to see if i could even get her eyes out or if id maybe. need to dremel into them to get them free so i could start on faceup removal

get the eyes out. this is very scary bc of the hot glue and also the mysterious gray substance. if it IS apoxie sculpt like i think it is then good god. thats going to be the worst 7 bucks ive ever spent or smth

clean the head. im really hoping that its dirt and not.. the alternative on the forehead and other parts of the face. if it IS some mold or fungus, ive got pony experience here (as in. i have dealt with that a few times on MLP) so I'm not... too worried? My guess is its surface level grime that should go away w the faceup being removed.

attempt to remove the faceup. the paint rly looks like it goes ALL the way around her head (poor thang) so ill probably test with acetone at the back of her head. for whatever reason i feel very much like her head has to be fragile so id rather test the more strong/easy to use chemical in a lesser seen spot. i really do not want to be scrubbing with rubbing alcohol for 5 years. bc the faceup looks like at LEAST a few layers of paint with a bad sealant so (as someone whos removed two full body resin paint jobs) i know acetone would be quickest (but alcohol is safest. but we will see)

assess the damage AGAIN. i predict that she is severely yellowed (due to the cracks on the cheek) but the question of if it is either just. in those spots where the faceup cracked or if its all over is really unsure. i mainly want to get her to try retrobrighting (which ive done on older MLP with great success and it seems to be something that works for this kind of vinyl as well) on her and just. fix up a doll that is beyond repair for most people lol. from what ive experienced with resin, i think the yellowing could either be all over (and the head was painted to try and hide this. although this clearly did not go well lol, altho i think its a sealant issue and not a paint issue, as it kind of looks like when ive fucked up with MSC (a common sealant for bjds)) or it could be just... shes been in sunlight and where the paint cracked got unevenly yellowed (i experienced this most recently with my big blue boy, where all the blue paint kind of. protected his resin and the non covered parts got more yellow). so its kind of a toss up. or a mysterious third thing you never know.

once shes all clean (which i assume will take a while due to well... how bad of shape that she is in), ill probably sit with it for a few days and then get milliput and sculpt a new nose. this will not be fun for me i think because I just... am not a sculpting fan (funny thing when this project WILL have a lot of sculpting) and much prefer sanding. I'm not too mad about the chin being sanded down (as the original had an INSANELY pointed chin which I really didn't like. I hate sanding vinyl so this works for me) or the eyes being opened (other than.. having to figure out the size on my own and pray for the best). Most of the mods are not... bad to me and are partially why I'm drawn to miss yucky bc like... the diseases but also the fact that the mods do mostly make the head cuter for me

Redo the faceup. I would love to keep the elements of the original with the big eyelashes as I find them cute, but the BIGGEST order of business is eyebrows good god. I'll have to paint over the mod that I did but I'm not super worried about it (maybe falsely I've never painted a vinyl head in full bc I have exactly one vinyl doll) and then hope i can get the head right on the first try. depending on how bad the yellowing is (and if im able to retrobright her to a lighter skin tone, as the body i have is pretty light (altho it doesnt match any skins from this company so. its a whole thing its ok)) i might just paint the whole head (or even come up with a story or reason why its mismatched. I have a lot of heads and bodies like that so I don't mind fully lol). It's just kind of a scary tossup on how bad of shape everything is.

Done <3 i really dont think itll be TOO bad but i also like... think i wont know fully until i get my hands on her if i do. She would be pretty tiny too (as in 45 cm or so, or for the americans, 1.5 ft) but I do love that scale of doll so. it could work.

#twist rambles #bjd posting #im truly thinking abt it bc minus the eyes i do rly have all the parts id need for her?? and i feel bad for her so. #talking myself into horrific purchases IS my passion but I genuinely feel so charmed by her... like i just... its the same as w old ponies #where i go oh. i can fix you so easy and make u feel loved. and so i do. and this is the same case to me... im not super experienced w viny #dolls but i spent a few years in that side of the hobby so ik a bit. im just mainly worried abt the sculpting or... what will be UNDER the #faceup. and trying to size the eyes. and the eyes in general lol #long post #bc it probably is. i love to ramble about my dolls tho... or future scaries. but i think it would be fun and i am in the middle of a few #projects rn so. i might as well. #which reminds me after i finish the horrible thing im reading i need to finish scrubbing my doll... and get superglue on another. i have ha #two boys dismembered bodies on my floor for a few days so. i have to take care of it <- they had to get restrung #also sorry this is probably like... super incoherent for EVERYONE but. i hope you enjoy seeing my justification for a really bad purchase l #lmao. still holding off to see what buyee says on the shipping but... it would be so sillies <- famous last words.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

watched godzilla-1.0 <3<3<3

shikijima my ptsd georg

#'your war hasnt ended yet has it' i am going to explode. also writhe on the floor more please #i really liked ando sakura's character (sumiko?) bc i just really love her acting lol #im not used to watching these kinds of kaiju/monster action movies #so the cg felt. especially cg #but i really enjoyed it nevertheless #also its my first godzilla so. lmao #i was meaning to watch shin since way before but shikijima Gripped My Brain #- vio #- green

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''