#i really really want to read the books now that is insane

[thecuriousquest]

oral fixation with yandere yuuji? 🫣

Sloppy Girl

Yan!Yuji Itadori x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, light yandere themes, oral sex (male receiving), 18+ characters, isolation implied, ass groping, light spanking

Master List

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You were smacking away at your gum as you sat in Yuji’s room with him, reading some book Gojo gave you to help you learn more about Jujutsu Sorcery. It was…irritating to say the least. Yuji could barely handle listening to you smack your lips every time you were huffy and puffy about something. This is just a whole new level of annoying.

But he likes you, really likes you. So much so that he keeps you away from Megumi, Todo, and every one else he deems a threat. He even has you study with him in his room or read manga just so that he can get some extra time alone with you.

But the constant smacking is driving him insane. He’s good at picking up on the small things, seeing what you’re interested in, what your habits are, your dislikes, what pisses you off, and what makes you giggle so adorably.

And he now realizes that he’s never once seen you not chewing gum or sucking on candy. You don’t smoke, thankfully. He would’ve had to figure out a way to get you to stop, and that wouldn’t have been easy.

The most sensible thing to do now though is…and he does this…he reaches over and claps his big, meaty paw over your mouth.

You can’t help but look at him with wide eyes as you stare at him with utter confusion. You try to say his name, but it comes out muffled and distorted behind his palm.

“Can you stop smacking your gum?”

It’s so blatant, so blunt. You honestly didn’t even realize you were doing it. It’s just a habit by now. You nod to appease him, to get him to remove his hand, and when he does, you sheepishly throw your gum away just to keep from accidentally annoying him again.

As you go back to reading your book, Yuji settles back down on the floor next to you and starts reading his manga when he sees you lift your hand to your mouth a few minutes later. He watches as you chew on the tip of your index fingernail. Biting, biting, the clicking of your nail against your teeth.

“Do you always have to have something in your mouth?” It’s not meant to be mean. He asks it genuinely. He really just doesn’t understand it. The candy, the gum, now the nail biting?

“Huh? Is that supposed to be a dirty joke?”

The sudden realization of his and your words clicks, and a perverted smile forms on his face.

“Do you want it to be?”

His cock twitches at the idea of growing hard inside your mouth.

“Yuji…I don’t do that kind of stuff.”

“Hey, come on, don’t be shy. Does…sucking on stuff make you feel more comfortable?”

You can’t help but blush at the way he phrases his question. “I guess…I just…feel more at ease.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? I’ve got something you can put in your mouth!”

With one hand, he’s tugging his uniform trousers down. With the other, he puts a hand on the back of your head and guides your lips towards his thick and heavy erection.

“You gotta open wide, or it won’t go in. Come on. Just give it a little suck. I’m clean, and you might even like it.”

You don’t know why, but you trust him. He’s always proved himself to be a good and genuine guy. You part your lips before taking Yuji in your mouth all the way. The positioning is awkward with you and him on the floor, but he tries to help accommodate the situation by letting you lean and move around as much as you need to in order to get comfortable.

At first, he tries his hardest to let you go at your own pace. This was supposed to be for your comfort after all. However, he just can’t help himself. His hands find their way up to your hair, fisting your locks gently as he forces you to go faster. You end up taking him deeper down your throat than you’d like.

You splay your hands against his thighs as you gag on his cock, spit flooding your mouth, drool seeping out past your lips and down your chin.

Yuji gropes your ass and lets his head tilt to the side. He can’t help but spank you, loving your ass that he feels only he should have his hands all over. Loving the sound of palm to skin, he smacks you a few more times before going back to groping your pink cheeks.

“Fuck…you give sloppy head. Fucking knew I loved you for a reason.”

That causes your heart to skip a beat as he controls your pace. You breathe through your nose and hollow out your cheeks, taking his girth in stride as best you can given the little experience you have with these things.

You can’t stop thinking about it, though, as Yuji pumps your lips up and down his dick. Does he seriously love you? You didn’t even know. Were there signs? Has he ever dropped hints? You don’t remember him giving you any. Maybe, you just weren’t paying attention…?

You make a muffled noise as Yuji’s face screws up in twisted pleasure as he releases his come down your throat, petting your head and calling you a good girl for taking him so nicely.

Your lips pop off of his cock, and you sit there for a few moments in disbelief about the entire thing.

“So, did it help?”

You swallow the thick load, gulping and licking your lips as you look away from him.

“Uh…yeah…thanks.”

You don’t know why you said that because you just feel like an even bigger stupid slut now.

#yandere #triggering content #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #triggering themes #yandere x darling #yandere themes #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #yandere yuji itadori x reader #yandere yuji itadori #yandere yuji #yandere itadori yuuji #yandere itadori yuji #yuji itadori #yuji jjk #jjk yuji

[easybrainrot34]

Lil Random Bridgerton headcanons

These don’t really have a theme, hence, they r random lol. Modern Au (except Colins).

Characters : Eloise, Benedict, Anthony (w/ mentions of Daphne, Benedict, and Violet), Colin (w/ mentions of Anthony and Madame Delacroix ), Hyacinth and Kate together (w/ mentions of Daphne, Eloise, Violet, and Anthony)

Hope you enjoy 😊

Ps my ask and request are open :)

Eloise guilty pleasure is self help books. We all know that she is very independent, but something me tells she would rather pick up a self help book then ask for actual help. Of course she reads these im private, I think she would die of embarrassment if anyone found out. She just doesn’t like people to know when she’s “weak”.

Benedict would take cooking classes. Like he can cook but he knows he’s not a good cook. But I feel like once he meets you he secretly takes cooking classes and he’s very secretive about it. For a split second in the beginning, you were convinced that he might be cheating on you. Instead of letting it eat at you you go and talk to him and this is where he confesses. He’s would be so heartbroken to think that you would think he would do that, but he would also be understanding. Anyway, now both of you go and do little cooking classes and he finally made a good meal.

Anthony is insanely good at practical gift giving. Like if u mention that u found a set of pans that u want for ur kitchen, bam u got them for ur birthday. I feel like he gets Daphne or Benedict to spy / ask around when Xmas or birthdays come around so he can see what people want / need. Although I feel like he always gets Violet and you something sentimental.

Colin is a kind of man to meet up with the modiste to get a special dress made for you. Like idk y I see this, but he’s such a softy and a great gift giver like Anthony that he would head to Madame Delacroix himself. He would get the main things you love in your dresses but little accents of what he likes (certain beating, lace, etc.) He would surprise you before the next Bridgerton ball with it. He would also feel so proud and happy when u flaunt it to your friends.

I feel like one day Hyacinth would ask Kate for tea to ask her how she can become cool and strong like her. Like I feel like part of Hyacinth wants to be so much like the women in her life, but with Daphne living far away, Violet having a motherly filter, and just something tells me Eloise and her aren’t super close, she would go to Kate. Kate would feel very touched, and would tell her to be confident and strong, but also herself. I feel like this is where these two become close and Kate starts to take Hyacinth under her wing. Also Anthony just dies a little over this, like he is so touched. God I love Kate and Anthony so I had to put them together in this one.

#bridgerton #bridgerton headcanon #headcanons #bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #colin bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #hyacinth bridgerton #kate bridgerton #violet bridgerton #madame delacroix #bridgerton modern au #modern au #benedict bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton x reader #hope y’all enjoy

[neonacidtrip]

No joke Mycroft Holmes founded a society where you’re not allowed to talk to each other. It’s called the Diogenes Club. It’s for “unclubable men”, meaning men who abhor social interaction or are just poor at it, that normal social clubs are nightmare! So it’s a location for people to just exist in silence and not have to engage with others with no judgement. And also comfy chairs and books. There is a game room but no talking allowed. I expect the complete silence but for the clicky clacky of billiards is very appealing to people.

He lives there, at the club. He leaves for work every morning where he looks over government finances and returns in the evening to his curated sensory safe room. He’s living his best life.

My gosh, that sounds like heaven. It's like he turned a library into a club. I'm in love

#thank you for sharing! #i really really want to read the books now that is insane #he is truly living his best life i am so happy for him #its also such a nice thing to do? he could have had all that for just himself but he chose to share it with other antisocialites #move over sherlock its time mycroft gets his own movie #we just watched enola holmes on a whim and they did mycroft so dirty in that movie #the sounds of pages turning and billards clicky clacking and just pure contented silence. what a dream #sounds like a great way to destress after work too #thank you again for sharing! i love learning new things #jewishdragon #you have a lovely url by the way #andddddd i have once again forgotten my tags for asks guess ill wing it #neo answers #ask neo #gif warning #beautiful mutuals and askers #sherlock holmes #mycroft holmes #Diogenes Club

[theloveinc]

i love u bakugo katsuki😔🫶🏻 my pookie bear … my baby😩

#I’m going insane #dreamt of him and we touched so much #I can’t even write abt him bc I just want to live with him and marry him and be in a relationship with #I literally could dine on him I want him so badly #I honestly think not have a date friend right now is driving me insane I truly do #I just need a man whos my type or any butch woman please #anyway uhhhhhhhhhh #finished unwind I am so ☹️😢 #it’s an amazing book but so f*cked #it’s funny those ya novels… they’re so quick to read but some of those old ones really knocked it out of the park #WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #caitie blabs

[just-rogi]

.

#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it?? #I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

[goldensunset]

sada and turo are fascinating characters for the obvious reasons and it definitely drives me crazy thinking about how they were willing to do a bunch of insane and dangerous things for the sake of bringing about paradise on earth, but i don’t think we acknowledge enough the fact that their idea of ‘paradise’ consists of a bunch of dinosaurs and robots running around. no world peace, no sociopolitical movements, no bringing back long-lost people. they straight up just wanted to play with cool toys they read about in picture books and that ended up driving them insane. they’re so funny

#now i knowww i’m sure it’s more complex than that #like the real implication here is that both of them are on the whole dissatisfied with the present age #sada is like ‘reject modernity embrace tradition’ and turo is like ‘PROGRESS PROGRESS PROGRESS’ to a reckless degree #i think their end goal was really to let the modern world be entirely reshaped into that old/new image #they knew very well that the paradox pokémon wouldn’t be able to peacefully coexist with the rest of the living beings in modern-day paldea #that destruction was foreseen #they saw it as a feature and not a bug #they WANTED that. they wanted to violently raze the world as it was to the ground and have their research byproducts create a new one #sparing only themselves and their son #(au where they succeeded but the paradox mons get way out of control and kill arven too. and then the prof experiences Regret.) #basically this is all to say i think the professors knew full well what they were doing and there was a lot of subtext in there #making them truly and genuinely insane people who still cling to the notion of a good cause #BUT. on the surface it looks like yaaay dinosaurs :) woah cool robots! :0 #literally just a pair of kids in preschool reading picture books and developing hyperfixations #so i think it’s funny #pokémon #scarlet and violet #sv spoilers

[usareiis]

Worst goddamn day of my life my bestie professor who is like the only professor in the whole world that gets me is teaching a unit next semester I can't even take because it's the one class you aren't allowed to take for multiple credits this is the fucking worst this is worse than when I couldn't take the Toni Morrison class last fall

#like i am almost finished with my degree so the options are already kind of limited but she doesn't even teach graduate every semester #its like a cruel trick against me specifically #i already thought that this semester's classes were not ideal but they offer like three total classes and now i am definitely stuck in two #bc i absolutely have to take a linguistics class bc the ta last semester made me insane and i had to quit 😔🚬 #and like linguistics is fine its interesting or whatever but i don't really want to take it i just want to read books and write #i hate feeling like i am stuck in stuff but i can't really skip a semester because of $$ and i am so close to graduating it would be stupid

[pa-pa-plasma]

redditors are so fucking weird, sometimes they don't even know what hill they're dying on all they know is that they're gonna die on it for sure

#told a dude on reddit who was asking how much violence is allowed in YA books that you can put as much as you'd like #& he was like ''books sure have changed since i was an adolescent'' & i was like. no. they've always been that way. read them & see #(literally gave Watership Down as an example. it was published in the 70's) #& he started ranting & raving about how actually i'm wrong because liberals & kids these days don't understand #what it's like to be an adolescent (kept using that word) in a time where all books were banned for even the most minor of implied violence #& i was like ''what the fuck are you talking about'' & he was like ''where do you live & how old are you'' about a hundred times #i wish i was exaggerating. it really escalated that fast #oh also they were assuming i'm a guy & using he/him pronouns which is like. fuck off lol yeah you're obviously an old white guy from Americ #literally i should just leave reddit forever but i can't stand by watching people say ''quit forever'' when newbies ask simple questions #like redditors are insane. batshit #i want to be the ''do whatever you want forever'' person in a sea of ''you're 12 & only have a 12yo's reading level? die'' #also the blocking on there is bullshit. you can't reply to comments if one of the people in the convo is blocked #& you can't block someone twice in 24 hours #& if you want to report someone for. say. harassment. like asking for your location repeatedly. you have to report the specific comment. #which you now can't see because you blocked them #more & more i become astonished that people use every other social media EXCEPT tumblr #couldn't imagine living like that. it must be horrible

[raveartts]

didn't draw anything for three days straight, going a little insane, what am I doing with my life

don't even know what to draw so here's a Miku I guess

#raveartts #I can't go outside in the middle of the day #so I'm just going insane in here #I'm so bored #at least. I don't have work. or school #well actually i could do school if I reaaallyyyyy wanted to #but most of my stuff is at home and idk how I'd upload a word doc from my phone?????? #and also I don't want to :))) #I guess being bored is the luxury of holiday #like I could've been working but now I can be bored for realsies #(I'm literally always bored though) #everyone's either napping or sleeping #and why even bother them. all I have to do is play uno #I brought a book. but it's my German book so I can't really handle reading more than a few pages at once yk #I'd love to read outside but my shady spot has become sunny and I will burn to a crisp

[mabith]

I really need Tumblr to turn on to the first nine Dortmunder novels by Donald E. Westlake. They're very funny (if you like Pratchett you'll like Westlake's humor), there is so much neurodivergence in these characters, and it's ridiculously easy to headcanon queerness onto them.

#also nice snapshots of 1970s-90s US life and technology #Westlake said 'everyone can have an insane hobby' as a treat #there are definitely some dated things though I actually think they're aging better now than say 15 years ago #there are really good audio editions I can link you to if you want (the newer audio editions are garbage only Michael Kramer is good) #Donald E Westlake #John Dortmunder #also I need to see how normal people who didn't start reading these age 11 react to them #don't ask me what happened after book nine I think Westlake just slightly lost it or had debts to pay off since book nine is the natural en

[thedandelionthief]

today has been such a weird day...

#nothing happened i just feel off. #it was like an emotional rollercoaster for 13 hours straight and i dont even really know why? #idk i'm really frustrated now too because i wanted to read to get my mind off things but reading actual physical books is really difficult #for me now because of some weird ocd stuff that i'm not going to bother trying to explain because it sounds insane to anyone without ocd #i've just felt weird lately. stuck between wanting to be healthier and more productive and not knowing how to do it and my brain #messing things up when i do try #i think tomorrow i'm going to try crocheting and playing guitar. and maybe work on some more synthv stuff #agh #ramblings&such

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

SO refreshing 2 talk abt weird interests <3

#my cousin is an author and is veryyyy into weird horror and we spent abt an hour talking abt annihilation #and he gave me abt 10 more books i wanna read #3 of which are jeff vandermeer..... ough #AND hes rhe one that recommended midnight mass to me around easter time #and this is the first ive seen him since then so we talked abt that for a while too... #he said he would send me one of his unpublished short stories to read bc he based it on subnautica and he thinks i would like it #he was describing it like 'oh astronaut crash lands on an ocean on an alien planet' and i went. gasp... just like subnautica #and he was like YEAH EXACTLY. THATS WHAT I WAS INSPIRED BY I LOVE THAT GAME #and we also talked abt minecraft....... like. yeah #yeah! thatwas so cool.... i love 2 be weird #and when we started talkimg abt annihilation my mom jumped in like ugh i thought that movie was so stupid #AND IT WAS SO FUCKING NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE HAVE MY BACK WHEN I SAY ITS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD . #AND HE DEFENDED THE ENDING TOO . LIKE. YEAH. YEAH IM NOT WEIRD FOR LIKING THIS #laying on thr floor. im sleepy now but that was sooo cool #nobody sent me asks abt genloss >:| i rlly wanted to debate with fans of it #like bestie come here i just want to talk (<< hiding my insane opiniond about horror and aesthetics and design behind my back) #blahblahblah

[branw3lls]

cp2 thoughts!

-i’m stressed!!!!! theres no chain of gold audiobook available at any of the 3 libraries i’m a member of and it’s gonna take me too long to read during the week. i want to read CoT when it comes out, i am so bad about staying offline when i know there are spoilers but i want to give myself time to process my re-read. tlh books are so fucking long! thankful but i’m stressed!

- again listened to the audiobook and forgot it’s daniel sharman of teen wolf fame lol but he’s very good! was he another will fancast of the time? does not sing the irish ballads but he has a very nice voice and does all the accents well. does will with a welsh accent, you gotta love it

-this book this book this book. it’s gut punch after gut punch

“though i am the consul and lead the clave, it seems very much to me that this will go down as the time as charlotte branwell, and my legacy will be lost.” WELL! 

-consul wayland’s turn is still very abrupt to me, at least how it escalates from clockwork prince. he really turns to comically evil and i feel like we’re getting that with bridgestock. bridgestock has been much more straightforwardly a dick and but still. god will she ever catch a break 

-curse-less will is so heartbreaking and wonderful to see. makes me love dad!will even more. he’s just a goofy guy 

-‘that is what it means to be consul, charlotte’ i really think chain of thorns is going to put charlotte into more duty over family/loved ones whether that’s lucie being charged w something for necromancy or the inquisitor learning about matthew’s secret and forcing her hand in front of everyone to have him punished and to hurt her. i don’t think she’d punish either of them but i do think it’s going to be put in front of her. she will always bend the law for the ones she loves but how long/to what degree is she able to do that and still be consul. i’m scared!!!!!!!

-‘even his tufts of ginger hair radiating anxiety and love’ charlotte and henry showing small little affection towards each other makes any onlooker have to look away from them almost every time. their power

-can’t believe cecily is only in one book and is still such a big presence. gabrily forever! they fucking rock. charlotte gave gabriel one comforting hug and he said ok actually, i would die for you queen 

-i love these siblings and i love that tlh is even more about siblings and families

-charlotte interrupting literally every couple’s tender moments by abruptly swinging the library door open. i can’t imagine the institute after clockwork princess, too many couples, everyone had to be secretly making out in corridors constantly

-gewgaws!! gideon writing these letters to the consul about charlottes fake spending habits is soooo funny. lucie needs to ask her uncle gideon to be her editor

-mortmain is a fun villain. it’s almost scarier that he’s just a mortal human man who has twisted technology and dark magic and created something more sinister than a supernatural villain would and his motivations are all very tragic. i like exploring more of the downworlder tension/ shadowhunter relations and how that’s always an undercurrent of all these series

-bridget daly what the hell are you, sister

-the cadair idris battle scene kills me every time every time! “i am not mad! he is alive! he is alive and i will not leave him!” henry and charles both have been brought back from the brink of death by warlock magic and if charlotte has to also hold matthew while he’s injured and dying, i’ll lose it. no more gravely injured fairchilds! 

-it does feel like this book has about 6 different endings but i kind of always love that about tsc books. the big climax/battle is almost in the middle of the book and there’s plenty of fallout. like as much as there will always be angst and people we love dying, cc will always give us so many small sweet scenes as a balm. not that CoT will end happy per say but that’s a long fucking book. christmas at the institute is so so beautiful and i am dreading this christmas party at the institute where ‘terrible things happens”

-do you think callida fairchild died at the clockwork attack at the council meeting

-the god damn epilogue....nothing has messed me up quite the same way since. traumatizing truly. herongreystairs really is something else.  tessa leaving really makes me cry cry cry.  i know will’s death scene is not to be referenced for any tlh outcome anymore but “fairchild sons and daughters with curling red hair like henry’s had once been” i choose to believe this not referencing henry being dead but actually henry’s hair is just grey at that point

#what a series!!!!!! #having an entirely new series with their children really is an insane gift huh #ok gonna go start chain of gold now wish me luck bye bye #i want to post my chain of thorns theories before the book comes out #i have thoughts i have feelings #gewgaws #meg re-reads #thoughts etc

[lilgynt]

oh and i finished sharp objects in like one sitting at work today bc my brother read it and we talked about it more cause i had the show he had the book and glad he didn’t. but insane he didn’t make any connections to home. like not in an emo everything sucks way but my mom has said exact lines adora has and me well…

#personal #self harm mention in tags btw #sh mention #like i want to be clear im not stressed he didn’t have the same experience #i’m happy for him #i’m mean i’m stressed when it’s like hey ur the girl ur gonna take of our parents forever okay? #but like oh you didn’t have a specificly shitty childhood with our mom? i am genuinely happy for you on that #but it’s like dude i’ve been self harming specifically cutting for like. over a decade now few years over #you know i abuse substances #mom again. has said exact lines adora has like nearly word for word and i had to put the book down #camilles a report im majoring in journalism???? i’m genuinely just confused #and then i won’t lie i did also steal parts of amma and marian but that’s more im insane so not gonna blame him for thaf #anyway. book was way more rough than the show and the show was fucking rough #i was literally just reading it at work then getting so worked up and then being like damn. relax. but then it’s really good and i wouldn’t #oh and my coworker came by and he was like oh that’s an old book! #and we talked about books for a bit and all my older coworkers love to tell me they respect me for reading so much which also a bit weird #but thank you - it feels like being a kid again #but anyway we talked about books for a while and im lending him my copy of lord of the rings :) i also told him about my bookcase #and my collection of first editions he was like :0 #ohhhh and he said hannibal was a good book #i know hannibal and hannibal rising are like the bad ones but so far hannibal isn’t bad just a lot #like taken me weeks if not months to get half way through granted life situation #then sharp objects i finished that in like one work shift and only started half way through my shift. to be fair 10 hours shifts but still #and that’s inbetween work calls. i love sunday’s cause that can happen but like that would never happen on a monday or tuesday 💔 #except that one time it did on a holiday

[guinevereslancelot]

is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you

#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family #bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet #but he was really upset and mad #i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk #he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out #now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore #he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff #and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time #and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged #unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us #so they cant really give him that feedback #he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet #basically nobody actually cares abt his book #he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months #its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read #i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful #anyway #he's really upset tho #and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact #and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do #so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety #he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me #so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff #so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book #it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that #when he does to much for everyone #he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at #he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it #but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane