#i remembered this and now i’m angry again

[bachiras-toaster]

ness being pathetically loyal : ̗̀➛

ALEXIS NESS x f!reader

wc. 1.2k

cw. explicit, but no smut

Ness, unfortunately one of his greatest weaknesses, was his jealousy. And it was very often that it waded him to situations that caused you to snap at him whenever he pried to much on topics that weren’t ever that serious. This time, you told him off for accusing you of flirting with Isagi, which led him to realise that he had spoken out of line once again.

Alexis's expression fell, and he looked away guiltily. He knew he had gone too far, but he couldn't help himself. The jealousy was like a monster inside of him, taking over his mind and driving him to do irrational things. He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry.

“I'm not accusing you of anything," he said quietly, looking down at his feet, ashamed to meet your eye as he stood in front of you on the couch. "I just... I don't like seeing other guys around you." It was a pathetic excuse, but it was the truth.

“You really do get too jealous.” You murmured bitterly, causing his heart to shatter a little when you turned to face away from him to stare at the wall instead.

When you had refused to meet his eye, he immediately went pale and fell down to his knees to bow to you, babbling desperate apologies. Alexis felt like a defeated man, completely exposed and vulnerable. He had never felt this horrible before, not with anyone else. It was as if Isagi had become a stumbling block in his relationship with you, and he couldn't help but see him as a threat. His heart skipped a beat as you moved away from him. He hated seeing her upset, and he knew his jealousy was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry.” he whispered, bowing his head down.

“It’s like you’ve completely forgotten who your girlfriend actually is.” You tutted, laying your palm atop of his fluffy head of hair as he bowed.

Shamefully, Alexis couldn't help but grin down at the ground a little at the comment, feeling relieved that you were still able to view him as someone he could belong to; when he lifted his head back up, he hid his smile and feigned innocence with a puppy-dog expression.

"I haven't forgotten, it’s just that sometimes... It's hard to remember.” He admitted anxiously.

“So helpless.”

"I can be pretty helpless when it comes to you.” He replied, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of being at your mercy. He undoubtedly loved the feeling of being under your control—it made him feel whole, like he finally had a purpose. He leaned up so he could rest on his knees instead before you, his hands placed atop your kneecaps like an excited dog.

“Is that the case?” You whispered darkly as your hand slowly traced down his waist, hovering just over the crotch of his pants. Alexis's breath caught in his throat as your hand brushed against his crotch, and he felt a surge of excitement course through him.

"Yes," he breathed, feeling himself harden under your touch. "I am helpless for you."

“Then you know better than to go accusing me of things, hm?”

"I'm sorry," Alexis repeated, his voice hoarse with desire. "I just... I couldn't help myself." He leaned in closer to you, his lips barely brushing against your ear the more he leaned up. "Please forgive me… My Empress." he whispered.

“I’m not sure if I should…” You said with a feigned solemness, turning your head away. “People who speak out of place… Upset me.”

"Please don't be upset with me.” He pleaded, his fingers intertwining with hers where they rested on the couch. Alexis groaned, feeling his arousal grow even more intense. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

“Will you now?” You turned back at him slowly, your siren eyes meeting his doe eyes.

"Anything," Alexis vowed, his heart pounding in his chest. "Just don't be angry with me. I love you.” You sighed.

“How can I be upset with my loyal dog?” You smiled a little as you used an h unoccupied hand to brush your thumb against his cheek as you cupped his face, causing his body to tremble with anticipation as he pressed closer to your touch.

"I am forever grateful for your love and forgiveness," he murmured, his fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled you even closer. "There's no one else I'd rather be loyal to."

“So you know it’s wrong to accuse me of such things, yes?” You pushed him back gently by his chest, forcing him back on his knees.

"I understand," He nodded, his heart still racing with desire, his eyes gazing up at you with adoration. “I promise to never question your actions again. Everything I am and everything I have is yours."

“This is why I could never be with Isagi liked you accused me… He’d never be as loyal as you are to me…” You hummed with a smirk. “I don’t believe anyone would…” Your hand traced slowly down to his chin to inspect his expression.

Alexis' face darkened at the mention of Isagi, but he quickly masked his jealousy.

“You're right," he muttered. "Isagi doesn't deserve you, not like I do. I would die for you a thousand times over, my Empress."

“And look at you.” You tusked, holding his face much firmly now as you furrowed your brows. “Still getting jealous when I mention Isagi.”

"I can't help it," He admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "You are everything to me, and the thought of anyone else touching you... It drives me mad." He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours. "Please forgive my weakness."

As he leaned closer, you simply placed your index finger to separate your lips just as he was about to kiss you.

“Good dogs don’t expect kisses after speaking out of line.” You replied, to which he nodded, his eyes downcast.

“You're right," He said softly. "I will be patient and wait for your forgiveness." He sighed, rubbing his palms against his legs. "I just wish I could control these feelings."

“Human emotions are the folly of man.” You sighed as you shook your head, taking his wrist slowly to place his palm on your thighs. “Doesn’t mean we can’t plead for forgiveness…”

Alexis looked up at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Forgive me for being weak, my Empress," he whispered, leaning in to press a soft kiss against her palm. "I will do better."

“Will you?” You raised a brow.

"I promise," Alexis said earnestly. "I will try my best to control these feelings, for your sake." He looked into your eyes, his own filled with sincerity. "You are everything to me, and I don't want to lose you because of my jealousy. Please don’t push me away.”

“On the contrary,” you yanked his wrist up so he could fall against your lap, his hands grasping at your thighs to steady himself as he processed what had just happened. “I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself.”

“Thank you.” He nodded, his hands now beginning to slowly slide up from your thighs to your waist, his palms slinking up the sides of your shirt. “I will never disappoint you again.”

#blue lock smut #blue lock x reader #blue lock #bllk imagines #bllk fluff #bllk x you #bllk x reader #alexis ness #ness x reader #alexis ness x you #alexis ness x reader #alexis ness x reader smut

[nadvs]

both sinners (part three) (end)

pairing drugdealer! rafe cameron x female reader

rating explicit 18+

content warning drug use

summary as a stripper, you’re well aware that someone you know could walk into the club at any moment. when rafe is your newest customer, you’re actually glad to see a familiar face.

» masterlist

*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

You stagger backwards, hitting the table behind you, as you watch what’s happening in front of you in disbelief.

Rafe is crazed, punching the man who touched you over and over and over again.

“What now, bitch?” he shouts over the music. “Try and touch her now!”

One of the bouncers comes rushing towards the booth and holds Rafe back. It’s a struggle, with Rafe overpowering him and getting one more punch in, before a second bouncer helps to constrain him.

You watch them push him away. Rafe looks to meet your eyes, his chest heaving and his mouth ajar, as he gets pushed out of the club.

You blink in incredulity, unsure of what to do, until you finally go backstage into the dressing room to regain your composure.

You’ve never seen someone so angry over something someone else did to you.

You know what happens to guys that get thrown out. Rafe won’t be let back in for at least the night. It’s possible he doesn’t get let in ever again.

You pull your phone out of your locker and text him: i’m off at 11. we can meet somewhere?

You go back out onto the stage, looking for another customer to make your money and try to shake off what just happened, at least for the rest of your shift.

After work, you meet Rafe at the address he texted you after he was kicked out. He booked a room at a five-star hotel.

“You know, you didn’t have to start swinging,” you tell him when he meets you in the lobby, a coy smile on your face. “We have bouncers for that.”

“They’re obviously doing a great fucking job,” he snips sarcastically. “He grabbed you twice.”

“And I slapped him twice,” you reply. He shakes his head in irritation, taking your hand to lead you to the elevators. Thinking about watching you get touched like that makes the anger swirl in him all over again.

“Not hard enough.”

“So protective,” you tease.

Rafe pushes the top button. You smirk. Of course he got the penthouse suite.

“You realize if they remember what you look like, they might never let you back in, right?” you say as the elevator doors close, leaving you completely alone in the enclosed space.

“Strip at another club, then,” he rasps, leaning down and dragging his hand off of yours to squeeze your ass.

“You think it’s that easy?” you ask, looking up at him through your lashes.

“What place wouldn’t want you?” Rafe asks, gripping harder as he pulls you against him, his lips an inch away from yours.

The way he looks at you makes you feel like he’s utterly obsessed with you. It’s addictive.

The elevator doors open and he slaps your ass to usher you out.

The suite he booked is massive, covered in marble surfaces and gold decor. Rafe leads you through the foyer to the bedroom, where the city lights glimmer behind floor-to-ceiling windows. The place is exquisite.

“Couldn’t you have found something nicer, baby?” you joke, turning to look at him.

He scoffs a chuckle as he closes the distance, hands already up your skirt. He’s been turned on since you stepped on stage hours ago, imagining how hard he’s going to fuck you.

Rafe kneads your ass before roughly pulling the skirt up to your waist. He thinks back to the way the sheer fabric of the dress you wore on stage hugged your body under the club’s lights.

“You know what?” he says.

“What?” Your breath hitches as his hand presses up against your middle.

“I’m gonna buy you more of those slutty little outfits.” His voice is low. “So while you’re dancing up there, you think about who bought you what you’re wearing and who fucks you.”

By the way his cock is hardening against you and the way his breath is spreading on your skin in shallow pants, you can tell he gets off on spoiling you.

You lick your lips and tilt your head, nudging your nose against his.

“I’m the only one fucking you, right?” he mutters, his fingers pressing harder. You love how frequently he likes confirming it.

“Why would I need anyone else?” you reply, loving how you can rile him up.

When his fingers spread your lips apart, you exhale shakily.

“Only I can play with this pussy, yeah?” He rubs over your wetness and finds your clit, making your knees weak.

“Fuck,” you whisper. “Yes.”

“You gonna dance for me, baby?” Rafe rasps. “I’ll give you more tonight than your customers make in a year.”

You nod, words escaping you. You feel him unzip your skirt, the fabric dropping around your feet. You pull your top over your head, left in just a bra and panties, and his eyes take you in as if it’s the first time he’s seeing you.

“Damn,” he huffs. It’s unbelievable how much you turn him on. The fact that you know how sexy you are, dancing every night for men who you don’t let touch you. Only he can touch you. “How are you real?”

You giggle, regaining some composure.

“Sit down,” you say, looking at the big bed.

“Over there,” Rafe tells you, pulling you to follow him. He takes you to the bathroom, where you spot a baggie of coke beside the jacuzzi.

Once you strip down between hard, wet kisses, you sink into the hot, bubbling water. You straddle him and he gazes at you through heavy lids.

“You want a bump?” Rafe asks, tilting his head towards the coke. He already took a hit before you arrived.

You nod, craving the feeling of elation the coke gives you. He grips your waist with one hand while he reaches for the baggie with the other.

After he makes a line on the edge of the tub for you, you lean over and inhale the powder, giving him an opportunity to palm your tits.

He loves the way your skin glistens from the water as you settle back on his lap. Your head is swimming with euphoria as you kiss him, his fingers rubbing over your nipples. You start to writhe, rolling your hips and giving him a lap dance.

You dip your hand under the water’s surface, gripping his firm length, prompting him to angle his head back with a groan over the sound of the tub’s jets, his voice echoing through the room.

You can’t wait any longer. You perch up to slowly sink onto him, his tip dipping into your entrance.

“Fuck,” Rafe huffs. Your hands are on his shoulders as you take your time, breathing through the pressure of his cock stretching you.

“Good girl,” he groans. “You can take it all. I know you can.”

You bite your lip as you finally reach his base, dizzy from how deep he hits you, enveloped by hot water.

You start to rock on him and his mouth locks around the peak of your breast. He loves the feeling of pure sin while he fucks you, both of you high and rolling.

You rake his hair back, leaning so your chest presses against his forehead as you start to bounce on him, panting in his ear.

Rafe’s hands curve around your ass as you roll on top of him, the water splashing as you quicken your pace. You start moaning and he squeezes you harder, his face contorting in pleasure.

You moan in his ear as you come to a fast orgasm, clenching around him in flutters. He hardens inside of you soon after, cumming in rhythmic throbs.

“Goddamn,” he groans, thinking back to all the parties he noticed you at. “I can’t believe this is what I was missing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t know you were this much fun.”

You giggle and the sight of your smile makes him smile back.

“Now you know,” you say with a shrug.

You’re absolutely spent when you lie on the plush bed, body bare and wet, not bothering to cover up with a towel. Rafe loves the sight of you like this and he leans down, smoothing over your cheek with his hand as he kisses you.

“We’re getting room service,” he murmurs. “What do you want?”

“The most expensive thing on the menu,” you joke. He’s unfazed, pacing to the phone surely to order exactly that.

“Wait,” you laugh. “Let me see the menu.”

Half-naked and high, you and Rafe sit on top of the bed, the television on in the background, eating at midnight.

It must be the coke and the sex and the delicious five-star food, but you get the impulse to ask what you’ve been wondering all night.

“We both know you’re the only guy I’m seeing,” you say, “but am I the only girl?”

“Obviously,” he says simply.

“It’s not so obvious,” you say with a laugh.

“Now it is,” Rafe says. You appreciate his direct approach.

“Why do you deal?” you ask. Seeing his house just once would tell anyone he comes from a wealthy family. He doesn’t exactly need to be selling drugs.

Blue eyes meet yours and he smirks.

“Why, you wanna go into business?” he quips.

“I think I make enough dating you,” you respond with a laugh. Rafe likes how exclusive it sounds. Dating. Meaning you’re his only.

“I like making my own money,” he says honestly. “And I like having coke around when I want it.”

“You’re a no bullshit type of guy.” Rafe appreciates the compliment.

“Why do you strip?” he asks.

“Why, you wanna go into business?” you echo.

“Shut the fuck up,” he laughs, nudging you. You decide you’ve eaten enough, letting the gentle push shift you to lie on your back again.

“You’re hot. You’d do great as a stripper,” you tease, raising your arms above your head and sighing. He takes in the vision of you lying like this, relaxed and joking around with him, and he realizes he hasn’t felt this happy in a while.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Rafe says.

“It’s great money,” you reply. “Especially if you have a rich drug dealer obsessed with you. It’s funny because you’re the only customer I’d dance for for free.”

He laughs again and you look over at him, sitting up shirtless, and smile. It feels like something out of a movie. A drug dealer and his stripper girlfriend laughing together in an extravagant hotel room.

Rafe moves the paper containers off the bed and sinks between your legs, laying his head on your chest.

You run your hands over his firm, warm shoulders and sigh at the sensation he gives you. He seems to live for the next 24 hours only, and so do you, and this is why this works so well.

He gives you a wad of cash before you part ways.

Your next shift is a few nights after your time in the hotel and Rafe is relieved the bouncers don’t recognize him. He settles in a cushioned chair in the dark club, knowing if they denied him entry, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and it would get ugly.

His heart skips when you walk out in stage wearing a black lacy set he bought you. You drift around the pole like a goddess, slowly undressing, making him hard in seconds.

Rafe looks away when you approach a man sitting in a booth. He might break someone’s jaw if he watches you dance on them, especially if they touch you.

He knows your interest in these guys isn’t genuine, remembering how you told him he’s the only one you’d dance for for free. This will just be a shitty part of dating you, and compared to the good parts, he can take this.

A few minutes later, you walk over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” you say over the throbbing music. “Thought I should tell you that guy just asked for a private room. Don’t freak out.”

Rafe’s jaw tightens as he takes a pull of his drink. You notice his irritation immediately, leaning over to speak into his ear.

“This is just work,” you say. “I can’t wait to clock out so we can fuck like we did in that hotel room.” His lips quirk up in a smile.

“I’ll break his hands if he tries anything,” he warns. You believe him.

After your shift, you and Rafe head to a party at one of the mansions sitting on the north side of the island.

But instead of leading you to the front door, he pulls you to the dark, empty shoreline, and you can tell by the look on his face that he’s turned on.

“On the beach?” you say, amused.

“You said we’d fuck, didn’t you?”

When you find a place on the sand, the night sky nearly starless, the waves crashing, you pull each other’s bottoms off with fervor.

Rafe’s on top of you, breaths shallow as he nips at your shoulder, guiding himself into you with a hunger deep inside him. It seems the more he has you, the more desperate he gets.

“I was hard all fucking night watching you dance,” he mutters, sinking into you, inch by inch.

“Fuck,” you whisper, tilting your hips, sinking into the sand. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“Who else can do this to you?”

“Nobody,” you answer. “I’m all yours, baby.”

“Yeah, you fucking are,” he says, pulling back and thrusting into you. His hand grips around your neck as he pounds you, claiming you with every slam.

You mean it. You’re his, happily.

After you make your way up to the house party, Rafe pulls you onto his lap the second he finds a seat on the massive balcony facing the darkened beach where you just fucked.

A man comes by asking for a gram and Rafe pulls out his bagged coke, trading it for bills. After the deal, he places a few twenties in your pocket, kissing the side of your neck.

You still feel the sand on your skin as he skims your leg with rough fingertips.

Maybe you’d be ashamed doing this with another man, being paid for sex and getting spoiled and doing drugs and fucking every chance you get.

But with Rafe, the sin is so sweet that it doesn’t feel wrong at all. You’ll happily live in the next 24 hours with him, over and over and over again.

(the end)

if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and y/n #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic

[crispycreambacon]

Ending April with a small parting gift. I’m gonna miss this.

Anyways, an announcement of my own.

The short of it

I’m leaving the Watcher fandom. Don’t worry, I won’t be unfollowing anyone, but I will be ceasing the creation of art for Watcher and interaction with the community at large. Thank you all for this short but meaningful ride. Feel free to unfollow me if you were here for Watcher art, and for those who stick around…

Thank you :]

I hope to not disappoint with this new era of mine.

The long of it

It’s been a couple of days since a certain channel dropped an announcement that imploded its fandom. It was… a mess. A lot—and I mean a lot—of us didn’t handle the news well, and we made that known to everyone. The impact was so massive that YouTubers, who are nowhere near the niche that Watcher operates under, covered the situation, and some of them explained very well why the decision went over so poorly. Meanwhile some of them made fun of the situation, and some were just there for the clicks, but that’s the cycle of YouTube drama for you.

With the amount of ears waiting for even a peep out of their mouths, Watcher couldn’t ignore the backlash any longer and released an apology video three days after the announcement. By all accounts, it was a pretty good response. The reception was mixed, but it was definitely more well-received than their first video, and they actually listened to their fans who gave them valid criticism over the sudden shift to a streaming service.

However…

For as much as I appreciate their response, I still can’t find it in myself to continue following Watcher. I really mean it when I say this disaster soured any enjoyment I had for them. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch them again for a long time without thinking about this situation or remembering the people they have hurt, even if unintentionally, through their poor execution of a business decision.

Do I believe they could’ve pulled off moving their content to a streaming service? Absolutely. However, so many factors doomed this decision and their announcement from the start from them believing that $5.99/month was “affordable to everyone” (seriously?) to them insisting that this was for the fans even though the fans have vocalized that they were never there for the high production value. They were there because the three guys who run Watcher were enjoyable!

I feel like if they had been honest about the fact that the TV quality they are aiming for was more for themselves than anyone–hell, it’s the mission statement in their About page, and, I don’t know, considered the idea that $6 is not cheap, especially for international fans, people wouldn’t have gotten so angry at them. Now, there are still numerous issues plaguing this business model, but to go through all of the arguments would require a separate post, and I’ve already expended too much energy on this situation. Needless to say, Watcher has burnt their bridges, and it will take a while before they can build them back up again, let alone get people to trust them enough to cross them.

On the other hand, I can’t blame Watcher fully for my departure. Despite my heavy disagreement with their initial decision, I understand why they thought this decision was a good idea in the first place as YouTube is a very unstable career path, and it would rather hurt its creators with its relentless demonetization, censorship and restrictive guidelines than give up just a tiny amount of its profit. Besides, they’re in control of their content, and they could do what they want with it even if their fans disagreed with them.

Speaking of the fans, my god. The situation revealed a side of the fandom that I never thought I would see, but in hindsight, I should have seen it coming. To see fans resort to anti-Asian racism and death threats so quickly was extremely heartbreaking, and as an Asian person, it made me feel very unsafe and unwelcome in the community.

Moreover, using Steven as a scapegoat to absolve Ryan and Shane of any wrongdoing was unfortunately a very common response. Yes, he is the CEO, and yes, his series being centered on traveling and eating expensive food really doesn’t paint him in a positive light, but need I remind you that RYAN AND SHANE ARE GROWN ADULTS. They’re the founders of Watcher, and they both have to agree to the initial plan for it to be implemented. You can’t assume that Steven was a boogeyman terrorizing your precious little boys just based on a 15-minute video. You don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes.

All of this to say that the initial announcement combined with how the community reacted violently to the announcement really nipped my interest in Watcher in the bud. It was a shame too because I really did love Watcher, and I still do. Had it not been for the time I invested in following them, I wouldn’t have made great friends, regained the joy in creating art–even reviving a hobby/skill that I assumed was long dead, and had a reason to be able to laugh or smile even in terrible days. I truly am grateful for Watcher, and I do not regret ever getting into them at all. However, I think it’s time for me to go.

Thank you all for this weird and wonderful ride, but at some point, you’ll have to hop off. I just didn’t expect to hop off it so soon.

#Back to hiatus I go (for real this time) I’ll see y’all in 3 weeks 🫡 #I’m more sad than anything #But alas we move forward #Thank you everyone #It was fun while it lasted #the professor #puppet history #watcher #watcher entertainment #we are watcher #art #chris p fried art #chris p fried rambles

[jeffbiblesupremacy]

Moments that live in my mind rent free - Jeff wearing a dark lipstick

#I don’t know why I remember this now #but i’m so angry we only got like a 2sec video of this moment #he should wear dark lipstick more often #it suits him #Jeff living in my mind rent free #jeff wearing lipstick #I don’t know if I will use this tag again #but…. #Jeff satur

[heardatmedschool]

Resident 1: I need some motivation to survive this morning.

Resident 2: Don’t worry, I got you covered.

#medicine #medblr #motivation #university #college #meme song #Spotify #remember when i posted about a really cool resident who passed away? #he was resident 1 in this post #i was adding tags #and i remembered #and now i’m sad and angry again

[citizen-zero]

After years of my mom obsessing over my hair and forcing me to do various treatments on it and threatening punishment if I didn’t comply. I’ve come to understand why Britney shaved her head that one time. I know that was something she did as part of a mental breakdown but fuck yeah good for her. I get it.

#and the stupid bitch still doesn’t get it or maybe she refuses to #like you can’t pretend you’re just worried and you don’t understand why I’m angry when you’ve spent years strong arming me into #putting castor oil in my hair and attempting to put mayonnaise in it and I think the only thing that stopped her was my dermatologist #bc he said it wouldn’t do anything at best and also don’t put fucking condiments in your hair #but she really wanted to and I don’t remember this but she might’ve hit me over my refusal #and she’d threaten to take my phone away or deny me something else if I didn’t let her do shit #and then recently she FaceTimed me while I was at DND and tried persuading me to see an endocrinologist #like saying oh she had a friend with the same problem and went to an endocrinologist and the birth control was the issue #(never mind the fact that my BC is the reason I don’t have painful cystic acne anymore and do have a regular period again) #and she was trying to push me into going #and I kept saying I wasn’t having this conversation w her now bc I was busy and she was just like ‘so when are we going to have it’ #and basically trying to push past my boundary of I’m fucking busy and this conversation doesn’t need to happen now #I just hung up on her and went on airplane mode but fuck even thinking about it makes me so angry like I want to punch her kinds of angry #and honestly if she hadn’t kept ignoring me and hadn’t kept trying to have this conversation after I said I was busy maybe I would’ve taken #it into consideration and looked into seeing one sometime #but honestly now I absolutely fucking refuse unless my doctor and I agree it’d be a good idea #fuck off mom fuck off and mind your own fucking business #personal #erika's blog and bar

[sadlittlenerdking]

Don’t mind me it’s august 2022 and I’m crying about Quentin Coldwater again

#the magicians #this happens every now and again #I just remember everything his story was meant to be and what they did instead #and I’m so sad and angry #and I will never stop feeling like I lost a real friend #qc is my favorite fictional character and I love and miss him

[tortelorrini]

Man I love dndads season 2 I wish it was good

#sorryyyyyy you know I have to be on my shit again #(angry posting about Glenn close character assasination) #not defending Glenn or saying he’s a good person or dad #becuase he’s not either of those things but #cmon now folks do u not remember what ONE THIRD of season one is about #sorry glenn wouldn’t fucking do that!!!! the only thing he cares about is Nick!!!!! #once again season one literally ends w glenn going hey I know I’m not your father anymore but I still want to be in your life #I still want to put in the effort #just for him to end up at square one again the next time we see him???? #I’m not against a character getting worse #in fact I LOVE it it’s why I think scary and normals arcs are so interesting and fun #but that’s not where Glenn ended #you can’t just have him show up and go btw all the change u saw in season one wasn’t real #and actually he sucks worse now #nothing he went through or did matters lol #it’s dumb!!! #and it makes his WHOLE arc in season one #nothing but pointless martyrdom #sorry this is not really the most articulate #I’m just mad #how come all the other dads get to be their changed fully realized selves #but Glenn gets the shaft #not even saying you couldn’t do the whole ‘there’s no fixing this’ thing #it just should have been done a different way #Glenn could still have been there and Nick could have still held undealt with resentment from when Glenn wasn’t there before #anyway

[rintoki]

i need to stop spending money on games

#i shouldn’t have started playing tot again #i’m so annoyed #like my soul feels unsettled #i remember literally a few weeks ago when i haven’t spent money on games in like months #and i was very happy #like obviously i was feeling the urge to spend #but there was just nothing i wanted #now i don’t even want to count how many micro transactions i’ve done in the last few weeks #it’s making me angry #honestly maybe i actually don’t like spending money #i just like hoarding it #the amount of anxiety i get whenever my friends say lol i have $5 in my bank account so casually #GIRL???? #i would literally have a stroke #this all started the moment i decided to pull on the weapon banner in genshin #stupid fucking decision honestly #now i have two song of broken pines and no eula #i’m so mad honestly #this is just me ranting #i love money #love love love #there is nothing better #money can’t buy you happiness? #it’s because money is happiness

[bo0zey]

manic mixed depressive episode on my bday is so fun especially when ur going on 2 days no sleep n have a 12hr shift starting at the asscrack of dawn in 6hrs

#idk if i want to sleep like i do but i don’t i just keep walking in circles n staring off blankly #also bursted into tears for no reason bc i missed my mom and remembered how much i hate my fucking birthday #was in the middle of a borderline argument w my family then just zoned out n glanced at the time and tears welled #6:13??? #then i pretended to go to the bathroom to hide my tears from my dad cuz he would’ve yelled at me if i went to my room w/o saying anything #so there i am crying like a pathetic loser on the toilet trying to suppress n swallow down ugly sobs #and there i am crying in my dumpster fire of a room on the floor #i literally go the entire year without crying abt her but every time december hits i always get into this weird funk #and idk why it’s still happening it’s been 7 years #i think my subconscious mind is influencing my body to release the trauma stored inside it bc i was never allowed to grieve her properly #so now in blips of time leading up to my birthday and the next day of her passing i’m 15 turning 16 again #i wish i didn’t have to work tomorrow so i could go visit her at her grave instead like i never go to the cemetery but i really want to #i guess i can go on her actual death day but i don’t want to go with my dad and brothers i just want to be alone #they don’t understand the feeling of losing your mom and best friend on your 16th bday #they don’t understand what it’s like carrying all this guilt and trauma and holding her hand and feeling her hand go limp at my words #i told her it was okay she could let go i would take care of my brothers and protect them from my father and i would be strong for everyone #meanwhile i’m listening to my dad n my aunt throwing all her clothes in trash bags upstairs #i didn’t even get to pick out what clothes i wanted to keep of hers im so angry my dad refused to let any of us miss her #“i miss mom-‘ ‘she’s dead get over it!’ #i got over it alright but then this time of year rolls around and i’m under it all again #i miss her so much i wonder if she’d be proud of me i wonder what it would be like to feel her hand in mine again #ooos im crying again lol #im so pathetic i’m literally 23 in less than 30 minutes why am i behaving like a crybaby child #23:33 when i was typing that btw n 333 is my angel/life path number lol #i wanna saw my arm off but i won’t #i debated staring an iv on myself instead but i’m too drained i just want lay down n cry lol #pathetic loser crybaby girl can’t function can’t shut up making everyone uncomfortable with her sadnes n tears stupid stupid stupid #drown in them and die nobody here loves you anymore nobody cares you’re the problem always the problem #i can’t remember if my mom loved me or not everyone says she did but i forgot what it feels like #i wish i never told her it was okay to let go i lied to her i said i’d be okay but here i am manic depressive

[queerdesire]

FINALLY GOT A FUCKING ANSWER. Friends friends friend boys and girls 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

#mine #I am dumb af #I am all sorts of emotions right now #I feel sad upset stupid and angry #disappointed at myself #just dropped like $60 on her last night to be a distraction #had to pry out an answer of what she wanted to do or be because straight up answers are apparently hard #I guess they would be hard if you give them knowing the other person is about to stop making you feel cared and loved for #love when people use previous conversations against you and then say something like that’s a yellow flag for me but yet you have said time #and time again you don’t do yellow flags it’s either green or red you’ve said that #because of course it’s easier to pick something and not give a straight up answer #my yellow flag was i had said in the beginning I have walls up with people because I’m scared to be vulnerable #🤡🤡🤡 #probably because I’ve been used by every relationship in my life 🙃 but you know yellow flag y’all to want to be careful #I’m mad #now I’m just sad #deena when you look back at this remember you want to receive what you give if you don’t receive what you give STOP WITH THE FALSE HOPE

[fuckdamn]

slightly drunk but i’m sitting here thinking about jane margolis and like actually actively sobbing. i’m so sad she died what the fuck. her dad was a hardass and probably not someone i’d like very much irl but he also clearly loved her very very profoundly and if he didn’t like that he couldn’t always understand her lifestyle and choices and motives it wasn’t out of disgust or whatever it was because he was scared that if he couldn’t understand her then he couldn’t help her. is that fair to her?? no. and in the end he couldn’t save her because you can’t really save someone from themselves but how can that fact be any consolation when its your own child?? AND how can jane deal with being treated like a problem without internalizing that he thinks she’s a problem?? there’s no good answers there’s no right answers there’s only love that’s there despite everything and care and tenderness and the art that jane left behind and her room exactly how she left it like she could come back at any second but she CAN’T because don WATCHED them zip his lifeless daughter into a body bag and cart her off. that’s it. their last confrontation was a fight and the last time he saw her she was crying and she deserved better and she should have had more time and that’s all you can really say!! and don and jesse will have to carry on under the weight of not only crushing grief but crushing guilt (while the man who could have literally physically saved her will continue to justify his failure to act through increasingly twisted rationale). jane was edgy and snarky and ostensibly kept most people at arm’s length but she was vulnerable just beneath the surface and she was dry and funny and smart and self-possessed and creative and she made beautiful things and saw beauty in things and she was kind enough to give jesse a chance when nobody else would and making impulsive mistakes during a relapse doesn’t make her some kind of evil temptress who was in it for the money all along and the fact that i’ve seen so many dudebro takes that imply just that makes me want to scream. she was only in like half a season but to me she is utterly indelible i love you jane i hope you are painting sick ouroboros murals in the afterlife

#lotte.txt #truly part of it is that father/daughter stuff just Gets to me #and (okay tw for talk of my own mental health issues in tags) #(namely suicide and sh and things of that nature) #but when i think of my suicide attempts and the worst of my self harm issues. and the way my parents were so afraid and i couldn’t see why #because in my mind it was just a battle of wills — i wanted control (over my life over my death) and they wanted to control me #for reasons — whatever they were — i couldn’t internalize that they were angry because they were scared and they loved me #but looking back on that time in my life now with much more clarity and a much better relationship with them? #the thought that i was so close to TAKING myself from them? that they were so close to losing a child who they love? haunts me breaks me #and if those thoughts ever resurface i imagine imagining how crushed my parents would be — i can’t even actually *imagine* it because itself #too painful #and my father is rational and reasonable and utilitarian sometimes to a fault and i rarely see him show fear or intense emotion #he is very loving and very kind but he’s a solutions first comfort second kinda guy #and i just remember how the solutions he would offer wouldn’t always help but he’d always offer them and sometimes it was annoying #but like he was doing what he could. he was trying so hard to keep me present and safe and healthy and alive #i don’t want to look at all of this through rose colored glasses because i had some really ugly moments w my parents. as jane did with don #but the point is (and i’m lucky enough to be alive to realize this) that this was all predicated upon profound love #and like again. the thought of even picturing how my dad would take it if i died is too much to bear #even typing this is making me weep uncontrollably lol #but so like. when don drives past the duplex and sees the paramedics and already knows that the unthinkable has come to pass. #the look of abject devastation and hollowness on his face. like the light’s gone out forever. it breaks me to my fucking core #i identify with jane in a lot of ways and . and like . okay you get my gist #ANYWAY!!!!!!! :D #brba #jane margolis

[luveline]

𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

Spencer calls you drunk and in need of rescue. You confess a few secrets to him while he won’t remember them (or so you think). 3k, fem

cw drunk!spencer, mentioned past drug use, confident/bombshell!reader, flirting, spencer getting some well deserved comfort, a handful of his drunken compliments, insecurity, intense mutual pining

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You’re blissfully sleeping in the arms of a REM cycle when your phone rings. It pulls you by the chest, a punch of shock and expectancy at once. It’ll be someone calling you into work, Hotch himself if you’re lucky. 

You search blindly for your phone. If you’re even luckier, it’ll be a wrong number. Your fingers curl around the little body of your phone and you bring it to your ear without checking the number, frazzled. “Hello?” you ask hoarsely. 

Total quiet. 

“Hello?” You pull the screen away. The caller reads: SPENCER. You pull it back rather than hang up. “Hey, Spencer. Are you there?” 

“Hello.” He laughs. “Hello, are you there?” 

“I’m here, Spencer, where are you?” 

“That’s an interesting question, actually, and I’m sure there’s a great answer, but…” 

“But what?” You sit up quickly, your throat aching with sleep. Your room is black as coal pitch. “Spencer, what time is it, my love?” 

“You shouldn’t call me stuff like that.” 

“Stop being weird and tell me where you are.” 

He laughs like a hyena. You can see it in your mind, his smile and all his pearly perfect teeth. You love it when he smiles like that and he rarely ever does. “I’m somewhere and I need your help getting home!” he says with another funny laugh. 

“Are you alright? You sound…” He sounds inebriated. 

Spencer struggled with his drug problem for so long before you found out. You just hadn’t been around enough, and when you were he’d gotten good at hiding it. You can still remember how furious you’d been with everyone, including him, because you could’ve helped, would’ve done anything to support him through it. If he’s hurting now and hasn’t told you, you love him, but you’ll be insanely angry. 

“Spencer?” you ask quietly. 

“I went for drinks with a girl but she didn’t like me and I may have drowned my sorrows too much,” he admits. “Um. Did you know gin is very strong?” 

“Aw, baby. You’re cheating on me?” 

“I’m afraid so,” he says, and hiccups. 

“Where are you?” 

After some hassle wherein you persuade Spencer to give the phone to someone else in the bar for a slightly less drunk interrogation, you dress and gather your bearings for the drive. You zip a hoodie up over your pyjamas, stuff your feet into some old converse, and set out into the dark to find him. 

He calls you again as you’re parking. “Hello,” he says as soon as you answered. “I need you to come and get me.” 

Spencer called you twice to save him. Even if he doesn’t remember, he’s called you to come and get him when he knows he needs help, and that realisation is hard to ignore. “Spencer, I’m two minutes away, I’m parking. You’re still where you were?” 

“Where was I?” 

“At the bar, sweetheart. Are you still there?” It’s scarily dark out and you didn’t grab any sort of defensive measure before you came, which you regret now, climbing out of your car to walk the dimly lit road. The bar glows like a beacon to be followed. 

“Still where?” 

“Did you hit your head?” 

“Not to my knowledge. Though I’m not sure I have much right now. I feel like I’m forgetting everything I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot. You know I can read about eighty average length novels in one hour on an e-reader? The buttons make it faster.” 

“You haven’t told me that before.” You shiver against the nighttime winds, footsteps heavy on the grey sidewalk. 

“I’m trying to be more conversational. Emily says it’s not working.” 

“You’re conversational. Isn’t the only condition of being conversational to prompt a conversation? We’re always talking.” 

“…What?” 

You laugh like crazy. “Spencer, you don’t need to change the way you talk.” 

“I annoy people.” 

“You don’t annoy me.” 

You approach the door of the bar, a ramshackle sheet of plywood over what looks to be a glass door. The bar building seems in similar dessaray, with modern features wrecked by scratches and smashed panes. It’s a real dive. Spencer couldn’t have meant to come here. 

You war with both hands to open the door and find yourself faced with a long and empty corridor leading to another door. Worried you’re going to get kidnapped, you bring the phone back to your ear, Spencer’s chatting an immediate greeting. “…telling me I’m doing something wrong without telling me what it is, it’s impossible.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, can you come to the door?” 

“I don’t think I have control of my legs,” he says without inflection. 

“It’s definitely the building with the smashed door?” 

“Yesssss. Are you here?” he asks excitedly. 

“I better not get murdered, Spencer Reid.” 

“Am I in trouble?” 

“How are you even keeping the phone to your ear right now?” 

“I’m on speaker phone. Milly showed me how to do it. Say hi, Milly.” 

“Hi Milly,” a new voice says. 

You rub your eyes with one hand and square your shoulders, prepared to defend yourself if the creepy door leads to a creepier room. 

Spencer is immediately visible from the get go. You open the door on to a rather cosy looking bar, which you’re thinking might be the whole point; wretched exterior, secret attraction. Warm orange light ebbs into the space from sconces and a faux fireplace, while a wrestling match playing from the small TV behind the bar casts brighter light down onto Spencer’s shoulders. He looks out of place, dressed in a white oxford shirt and a suit jacket, his tie loosened and hanging from either side of his neck, compared to the lingering patrons who sit dotted around the room in booths and on barstools. One such patron sits in a plaid shirt and a trucker hat, her hair to her back, thick and dark. 

You hang up the call and put your phone in your pocket. Spencer gasps like he’s been smacked and picks his own phone up from the bar, clicking at buttons with clumsy fingers. “No,” he hums sadly. 

“Spencer,” you say, not wanting to disturb the people spending their sorry-looking night here. “Spencer. Hey, Spence!” 

His phone tips between his fingers. The woman you assume to be Milly catches it and offers it back without looking too far from her beer. 

“Hey,” you say gently, crossing a wide empty space to meet him. The room itself is shaped like a horseshoe, the bar taking up a surprising amount in the centre, and booths and tables placed around it. Spencer’s off of his barstool as you approach, eyes like puppy dog’s, arms extended. “You okay?” you ask. 

You can feel eyes on you both from every angle, but it doesn’t matter, not when Spencer’s falling into your arms (or on to them —he’s surprisingly tall when you aren’t wearing heels). “You alright?” you ask again. 

“You don’t have to be worried, I’m fine.” 

He’s less coordinated in real life than he’d sounded over the phone, his slurring unmissable, his hands like jumping fish as he tries to hug you. It’s weird and straining to take his weight but you do it without complaint. He smells the same, at least, only his cedary cologne is sharpened by the tang of gin on his breath. 

“Thank god you’re here,” he whispers. 

“Why?” you ask, pulling away to check for danger. 

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, handsome,” you say, genuine but laying it on thick simultaneously as you ease his head back to cup his cheek. You can’t help yourself. He’s the prettiest man you’ve ever met, and it gets worse every year. 

He frowns at you deeply. “I don’t like first dates.” 

“Then don’t go on them,” you suggest, “you don’t need to until you’re ready.” 

“I’m ready for love,” he says. You pull your lips into a flattened line, unsure of what to say, how to explain that it’s waiting for him, but his chin dips towards his neck and his eyes lock onto your face. “You’re not wearing makeup. God, you’re so pretty.” 

You flinch away from him. “Fuck, Spencer.”

“I’m sorry! It’s not that you don’t look pretty with makeup, but I never see you without it!” 

You’d forgotten you weren’t wearing any. Makeup isn’t a shield, exactly, but you like putting your best foot forward, so to speak. You’ve no clue what you look like tonight, hadn’t managed to look in the mirror, you’d been focused on getting to Spencer before he got lost. You can imagine the puffiness.

Spencer touches your cheek. You let him turn you mostly because he’s surprised you, his eyes roving up and down your face with a fawning curiosity. 

“You’re beautiful. You know that already, but people don’t tell you enough,” he says, his hand falling from your cheek. 

“Spencer,” you say softly, “let’s get you home.” 

You thank Milly for her help and grab Spencer’s bag from the floor to hang on your shoulder. You’d make a joke about how heavy it was if you didn’t think he’d take it from you, and, considering how drunk he is, topple over from the imbalance it provides. His shirt is clammy where you push your hand through his arm to link them, his footsteps wobbly. 

“I didn’t want to go on a date,” he says. 

“Then why did you go?” you ask, helping him over the door jam into the long hallway. 

“I don’t want to be alone forever.” 

“Spencer, you won’t be.” It doesn’t feel like the best time to bring up how much you like him. You’re sure he thinks you’re kidding, doesn’t everybody? Don’t torture him, they say. Don’t toy with him. Every time you flirt with him the team acts like you can’t mean it, and for a while it worked for you; you weren’t in love with Spencer. You weren’t playing with his feelings, but you didn’t love him, and then you joined the team and got to know him, watched him fluster at every comment you made or under any soft looking and realised you could love him. It was easy to fall for him. You liked doing it. But now he’s determined to write your affection off as a joke and going on dates? 

In the morning, when he’s sober, you’ll have to tell him how you feel. Or you could let him find someone more like him… ugh. It’s such a mess. 

You grapple with the size of your feelings for him as he hums and laughs his way down the hall to the glass door. On the street, he squints and straightens his back, fighting to regain his arm from your hold to cover your shoulder instead. “It’s cold,” he says in surprise. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine, I got my jacket. It’s a short walk, come on.”

His arm stops acting as protection and starts to use you for support. “I didn’t mean to drink so much.” 

“Drowning your sorrows is always a terrible idea because it tends to work,” you lament, less scared of the dark with him at your hip, though what protection he might offer is negated by the alcohol. 

“She kind of looked like you.” 

You squeeze your eyes together quickly. “Oh.” 

“I didn’t know she was going to. But she didn’t– she didn’t– it’s hard to talk. She didn’t listen like you do,” he says, lightly slurring, “she just stared at me like everyone used to in high school. Like she could tell there’s something wrong with me.” 

“Spencer, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I know,” he says. 

“Do you?” 

“Yes.” He frowns. “No, I don’t know. I don’t feel like there’s something wrong with me,” —his voice turns to a nearly indistinguishable mumble— “but everyone else always does.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.” 

“Is that why you make all your jokes?” 

“What jokes, babe?” 

“Like that! Like babe. It’s funny ‘cos you’d never date me.” 

You’d slow if he weren’t already walking at a snail's pace. “That’s not true. Let’s talk about it in the morning, okay?” 

“I won’t remember to ask you in the morning.” 

“Spencer, you remember everything.” 

He drags his feet. “I wish I wasn’t so weird,” he whines. It’s playful at the forefront but desperate otherwise, and it gives you pause. “I wish I was normal, and you could like me normal.” 

You look down at your hands, panicking, a flash of Is this a good idea? like an alarm in your head as you turn on the sidewalk to face him. He’s looking at you like he’s begging you to disagree with him. 

You’re happy to. 

“Spencer, I like you like this,” you insist loudly. His eyes and all his sweet lashes track the movement of your hand as you touch your chest, and your neck. “You’re not normal, I’m not normal. Do you know how many times I’ve been rejected? Just for being me? I’m too bossy, too outspoken, too– too high maintenance. I've had friends with good intentions tell me I need to lower my standards, need to relax, because otherwise I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I feel alone all the time.”

“But you’re perfect,” he says, puzzled. 

“To you. And you’re perfect to me.” Your hand crawls to the base of your throat. “So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. You think I’d come and get anybody else in the middle of the night dressed like this?” you ask him, gesturing to your ratty pyjamas and your dingy converse. 

“You look so cute,” he says mournfully. 

You roll your eyes. He’s too wasted for this conversation. “Come on, sweetheart. You can think about this too much in the morning. Let’s just get home in one piece.” Physically and emotionally. 

“Can I come home with you?” he asks. 

That had always been the plan. “Ask me nicely and I’ll consider it on the way.” 

— — 

Spencer shuts his eyes, hands itching to clap over his ears as you scratch the head of a spatula across your frying pan. “Is three eggs too many? People usually have two but that’s never enough for me.” 

“I think…” Oh my god the metal screeching is so loud. “You should have as many as you want. You know your body. There’s this study on intuitive eating…” I'm too hungover for this. “Three eggs is better than two.” 

“So you want three?” 

He cannot eat right now. “Yes. Please.” 

Spencer’s half sick with dehydration and half grief. He stayed at your house last night and he was too drunk to be nosy. He slept in your bed. He slept in your bed. He woke up to you at your vanity doing your hair, the nutty smell of hair oil mixed with the heat of the hair tool on high and realised with a start that he’d missed something he thought about all the time. 

You’d tipped your head back to smile at him. “There’s my boy. Sweet dreams?” 

He didn’t dream, but if he had, it would’ve been another agonising wish where you were his girlfriend, or his wife, or just there looking at him with love. He wakes up feeling sick because it isn’t true. And now you’re making him breakfast, humming a tune under your breath, sourdough sizzling under the grill and a shoddily blended avocado sitting in the bowl in front of him. 

You asked him for one thing. He picks up the fork and starts to mash the avocado again. He can’t fight the foreignness of sitting in your kitchen, a gap in his memory. 

He knows he told you about his date, how she looked like you, how she didn’t seem to like him much, but he’s struggling to collect the finer details. Why had you picked him up? He must’ve called you, but you could’ve said no. He remembers thinking you looked beautiful, but he always thinks that. 

The avocado is making him feel sick. 

“Here,” you say, sliding a plate of toast in front of him. “Do you want butter?” 

“I think I'm gonna throw up.” 

“You’re okay.”

“I can’t believe how I acted,” he says, pressing his palms to the hollows of his eyes. 

You turn off the hob. Fat bubbles and pops until it’s cooled. The clock on the wall by the refrigerator ticks incessantly. His slept-in shirt feels too tight despite the undone button. 

“Hey…” You round the island but don’t touch him, your voice gentle. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

He drags his hands down his face. “I can barely remember what I said.” 

“You were really nice to me… told me I looked pretty without my makeup, n’ that I was perfect. You were really nice.” 

Your tone is off. No flirtatiousness, no endless confidence, you sound wistful, like you’re glad he said it. You take the bowl of avocado he’s made a mess with and put it aside with the toast, resting your arm on the counter, and leaning into his space. “Spencer, last night? You didn’t do anything to be embarrassed of. You were nice, and kind. You tried to open the car door for me and you almost lost your eye, but you were fine. You don’t have anything to be worried about, really.”

“But it’s you.” 

“Gonna touch your hair,” you say, giving him enough time to move away as you reach out and rake back his fringe. His heart leaps into his mouth. “You said something last night like that, you know? Do you remember that? You said if you were normal.” You grace the skin beside his eye with the tip of your thumb, your perfume floating his way as you move. “And I said–”

“I’m not normal,” he says, remembering now. 

You’re not normal, I’m not normal, you’d said.

But you’re perfect, he’d said. 

To you. And you’re perfect to me.

“Right. We’re not normal, Spencer Reid, so forget that girl. She didn’t deserve you anyways,” you say. 

You draw a short, silken line down his cheek with the side of your pinky. To be touched so lightly has his stomach in knots —he’s not shocked by the swiftness with which your affection can make a bad situation good again. 

You turn away. “Now we should eat before everything goes cold.” 

He watches your shoulders move, and he remembers one last detail. So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. 

The way you’d said it… you couldn’t really mean…

“How’s your appetite? Still feeling sick?” you ask. 

Spencer smiles to himself, the ghost of your touch glowing warm on his cheek. “I’m feeling a lot better, actually.” 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

thank you for reading!!! please like/reblog or comment if you enjoyed, i appreciate anything and it always inspires me to write more<3!! my requests are pretty much always open for bombshell!reader (even though this one strays a bit from their usual story haha) so if you wanna see more let me know❤️

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

[saintjosie]

i’ve been a trans content creator across many different platforms for four years now. and every time i jumped on a new platform, i used to have the same naive hope that i’d find a place on the internet where trans people are safe. but it’s never safe. there isn’t any platform that i’ve been on that i haven’t faced harassment and where my friends and others like me haven’t been unjustly banned.

the first reaction that i had to seeing the stuff about prestrogen was “ah here we go again”. and that’s such a jaded response. and it’s so easy to feel defeated because i’m furious and i’m tired.

but also i think it’s important to remind myself (and anyone else who needs to hear it) that every time i’ve seen this happen, along with the understandable and justified outrage of the trans community, i have also seen incredible resilience and solidarity from both the queer community and from allies.

we should be angry. but we also need to remember that love and support within the community IS resistance. and it’s every bit as powerful and important as righteous fury.

dont isolate yourself. take care of yourself but also check in on your friends.

im mostly telling myself but also im sure some one else needs to remember this too.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

So irritated rn because now I have to be more careful with my wrist after burning it making supper. I have clumsy bitch disease (bad coordination) and managed to burn my wrist on a pot of boiling water. I didn’t get the water on me at least. I just bumped into the metal while pouring out the water and pasta >:( this and I need to do dishes. Dishes are normally a bit annoying but it’s a thing you have to do at least a few times a week if you can (sometimes things are worse) but now I have to wash them with a wrist that stings from a burn! The burn is minor so it’s not a super big deal, it’s just going to make dishes more annoying

I’m honestly kind of embarrassed to wear shorts and skirts because my legs always have multiple bruises. In fall, winter, and spring I can at least cover them in clothes but now it’s heating up and fewer and fewer days are suitable for covering my entire legs. It was one thing when you spent most of your summer on your parents farm but I’ve moved into town on my own and now any time I leave my apartment I’ll usually see at least one person (unless I remember to get my mail at 11pm. A thing that has happened at least twice. I was freaking out about fitting the leftovers into the container and ended up eating more than my stomach should hold. Now I just feel irritated.

All my irl friends are super busy too so I’m rambling on here.

#emma posts #clumsy bitch disease aka adhd autism comorbidity #it’s seemed a bit worse lately #I think with everything going on this month I’m moving around more and even more distracted #because I have even more bruises than normal and now I’m burnt #I keep finding bruises about the size of my thumb on my legs and I’ve been getting more than usual #I tend to have around four and none super dark and bigger than my thumb print #but now I have some super dark ones the size of my whole thumb #my legs are constantly going through it and I feel bad for them #not their fault the controller is broken #I don’t even notice when I get them i just get into the shower every night and go ‘well those three are new’ #at least when it comes to my legs #tend to remember other places #on the bright side the chin cyst that gets angry on my period is normal again!

[beautysamour]

Dick Grayson X Overstimulation ! something where Dick is jealous or a little angry because the protagonist doesn't care about herself Dick is an Overprotective boyfriend

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟐: 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

— 𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

“Di—ick,” you squeeze your eyes shut as you start to recover from your orgasm. The bed squeaks in sync with his cock hitting that weak spot inside your pussy.

“Oh, now the pretty girl calls out my name yeah? Fuck—,” he tries to keep his head up as you clench around his cock, “What happened to the other guy, huh?” He shuts his eyes, his dick twitching inside of you as a wet moan leaves your throat.

“He—he doesn’t matter! I wa—hah—was just teasing you,” you arch your back into him, fingers gripping onto the bedsheets as you start to remember how every vein on his cock feels.

He laughs, lowering himself so his torso meets your arched body. He watches the way your face contorts—it’s not enough.

“Ba—baby, I’m clo—!,” your eyes roll to the back of your head, the sound of his balls hitting your ass ringing through your ears, “Oh my…fuck.”

You moan as your knees get pushed to your chest, your boyfriends deeper thrusts causing your heart to stutter, “Dick, Dick—hah, baby, that feels good, that feels soooo—“

“I know, I know,” he smiled sadistically as he watched your eyes cross, he kissed the sides of your ankles as he flicked your nub—what a beautiful sight you were.

Suddenly your body stiffened, “Dick—Dick—! Dick, I’m—cumming!”

He chuckled at the way you gripped onto the bedsheets, as if you would never come back down from cloud nine if you hadn’t. His eyes glimmered with lust as he watched your cum splutter everywhere.

He waits for your eyes to open, waits for you to look at him—“Fuck, baby,” his eyes shut as he feels his cock twitch while your pussy spasms around him. His head drops, his grip on your ankles tightening as his cum mix with yours.

You fight back a moan as you watch him cum, the sight of him reaching his peak making your pussy clench, “You’re so hot.”

He chuckles, eyes still closed as he starts to lower your legs, “Even more than that guy?”

A cocky smirk forms on his face as you try to answer but get cut off by a moan—a moan that he’s responsible for, not that other guy.

“I already told you—,” you choke on your breath as Dick starts to slowly thrust into you again, “—he doesn’t mat—ter to me.”

Wincing as Dick hits your g—spot, you muster all the strength you could, which isn’t much right now, to wrap your legs around his waist, “Only yo—you matter.”

Dick snorts as you look at him through watery eyes, he makes sure to brush his finger against your nub as he hits your sweet spot. He leans down, pressing a kiss on your stomach and leaving a trail as he reaches your neck, “Figured that no one else can make you feel this good?”

The bed squeaks as he moves his hips, you secure your grip around his waist.

“A-also because I lo—love you,” your head tilts back against the pillow as the feeling of pleasure gets mixed in with pain as your pussy twitches around his dick for the nth time.

He pauses for a second at hearing those words—just for a second before his composure comes back—and tears start to fill your vision as your g—spot gets overwhelmed, “I love you too, baby, but,” his hand travels from your pussy to your stomach, and he pushes down locating his cock.

“I need you to forget him, and we have all night for that.”

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x female!reader #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson fanfiction #dick grayson smut #dick grayson x reader smut #nightwing #nightwing x reader #nightwing x you #nightwing x y/n #nightwing smut #dick grayson smut drabble #nightwing smut drabble