#i sobbed about it yesterday now i

[thunderheadfred]

My dog decided she wasn’t done almost dying so. Um. good for her. Real power move.

Taking her to the ER again tonight. I’m super duper not okay!

#bonnie #she had surgery for sever IVDD in March #it nasnt even been 3 months and she cant walk again #i sobbed about it yesterday now i #m just in full body rictus

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

gonna go on another bot purge tonight so here's your friendly Reminder that if you have nothing on your blog (default icon/header/title, no rbs/likes) uhhhh i Will think you're a bot and you Will be blocked <3

#sweeping dust bunnies off the ol' blog yk yk #haven't done a bot check in a month or so there's Bound to be a lot #luckily ive been seeing a lot less default icons lately which is Nice #the refugees seem to be catching on... #absolutely unprompted #on another note since im here and i want to Complain about things that are my own damn fault #i need to wake up early and drive tomorrow which i Expected #but i Forgot how early. and ive trapped myself in a position where thats the time i need to leave. #couldve left tonight smh... #now i have to take into account my own sluggishness when waking early + getting ready + morning traffic #screams cries sobs etc. oh well. i hope my fav boba place is open by the time i skedaddle #yesterday i was like: oh leaving tomorrow? on such short notice (learned a whole day prior)? surely i cant. its too soon. im unprepared #but now im in waiting mode and dreading the Earliness #woe is me. except not. i did this to myself 💅 #sigh. anyway yeah make sure your blog looks like a person runs it

[journey-to-the-attic]

So, IK from the Monster Hunter world is a hunter, right?

What if instead of a hunter, IK was a rider?

Just a bit of an explanation here, riders are a group of people who show in both Monster Hunter Stories games, which are a sort of spin-off series from the main games. In these games, you play as a rider who doesn't just hunt monsters, but hunts alongside monsters.

Riders get monsters, or as they're referred to in game, monsties (which the first game said was short for monster bestie), by using something called a kinship stone to hatch them from eggs and bond with them.

How do they get these eggs? They sneak into monster dens and just take one. That also includes fighting the parent if necessary.

If this Devildom was the same as hunter IK (monsters originated from the Devildom and were so dangerous they got banished), I think the reactions to this IK would be shock, curiosity, and something akin to horror without being horror, especially if one of her monsties arrived with her.

(It would be even better if her kinship stone could somehow summon any monsties she has at will, even to the Devildom)

imagine you are diavolo, crown prince of the devildom! you have grown up on tales of your predecessors' exploits, the sacrifices made and the centuries spent fighting off these monsters to make sure demonkind need not live in constant fear of being eaten or worse.

you summon a human to join in your new exchange program. she is half your height and the tiniest fraction of your age. and she has one. like, just with her. it eats from her hand and has a bow tied around one of its twisted horns. she tells you its name is madame, because "she's a very fancy lady."

you think this human may be the scariest person you've ever met.

for real though, i imagine this would be on par with meeting someone in real life who's like... domesticated the black death somehow, everyone is equal parts terrified and impressed

#answering asks #anon asks #monster hunter ik #jtta aus #this is a cool idea!! #although the monsters-from-egg thing reminds me of choo choo charles and. now i'm imagining ik just having that guy #ALSO i played the new fontaine quest yesterday. been sobbing ever since #furina my goddamn beloved #i've also opened my eyes to neuvifuri/focallette because HELLO #enough about that though lol

[vaspider]

What's funniest to me about all of this is that like...

... these dweebs decided to pick an internet fight with trans women. Like, trans ppl in general, but like... ✨️trans women✨️.

Like... buddy. Pal. Friend. Chum.

Do... do you understand how many trans women there are in IT? Do you understand that this community can absolutely find where you try to hide next?

#please allow me to laugh wildly #now that the worst of the danger seems to have passed #my friends were crying yesterday from relief #yonah's mom has been doxxed bc of yonah and she's in her 70s #imagine your grandmother sobbing in relief bc she's been afraid for her life for 7 years #my mom is in her 70s #like #i think about this all the time #and it's nice to think about these jerks finally picking on someone(s) with enough power to take them down #also my wife is a network nerd #so

[carefulfears]

and the fact that mulder cries a lot makes me want to cuddle him forever 😭😭

everything is so hard for him all of the time!! i love him.

#i love that he cries on screen so much #it means so much in terms of characterization of male heroes that i'm too tired to get into right now #but i also think of when my friend ali talked about how like...what a show of vulnerability it is #in those moments he isn't the invincible protagonist who always charges forward and always makes it out #he's traumatized and he's SENSITIVE and things do not come easy to him. he's afraid. he's lonely. #that ending shot of reduxes just knocks me breathless every time because that IS what it feels like. #that IS what success or barely making it through or 'the best news ever' feels like sometimes #earlier in the ep when he comes to scully's room and she's asleep and he just SOBS next to her. trying to muffle his cries in his hand #so he doesnt wake her. and the next day he's like :) oh i stopped by last night :) didn't want to disturb you :) #it's like actually haunting. and there is no part of THAT that is a heroic crusader. #when everything is 'okay' in the end and everyone is in the room RIGHT BEHIND HIM celebrating and he cries again...god. #it's like the tags i referenced yesterday talked about. it just all hits him at the same time. #there is never any respite on this show even when there's a miracle

[kerstrel]

i miss 2020 mcyt fandom vibes........

#musings from beyond #genuinely i miss being obsessed with the bee duo/clingy duo/bench trio #I MISS BEING OBSeSSED WITH THE DSMP #i wrote and read a lot for them fkdjhgsf #i miss the sbi #don't get me wrong #i still love the creators #(wore my ranboo hoodie yesterday) #but there was something about that time period #it was just magical #thank you wilbur soot tommyinnit tubbo ranboo philza techno foolish #you guys ruined my humour #BUT #now :) now :) now i can look back fondly #watch them grow and support them in their own endeavors #I WILL GO TO A LOVEJOY CONCERT #i will Not make the mistakes tommy made in getting a flat (affectionate teasing) #i will continue to grow and am currently obsessed with grian #hahah that's a funny twist ain't it #also also also the way i was so obsessed with sam :sob: #i loved his streams :] #lil creeper man #but #yeah #i miss 2020 mcyt #looking forward to 2024 though !! #i'll probably be rewatching/reading old fan content #man #...

[koko2unite]

#DUDEEEE I JUDT GOT SHADOWBANNED AGAIN!????? #i just got it cleared yesterday and then i post bowser and then it triggerdd again i fucking hate itttt #WHYYYY #This is even ridiculous because i didnt understand what triggers it #dont tell me tweeting art somehow is bannable offense on twitter!? #having almost 20k followers are fucking useless when they only can see my retweets and not my art #100 likes on retweet but only 20 for my own art this is ridiculous #i fucking hate twitter i fucking hate twitter #i fucking hate everyone there that mass report my page #i fucking hate everyone who refuse to share my art and only care about others art that i retweet #i hate it i haye it i haye it #i was hoping bowser day could be the day i got an uptick on my account so I can use it again but noooo its shadowban time #im gonna fucking kill all the staff there #kill kill killllll #AAAAAAAAA #im fucking sobbing right now this isntnsupposed to be happening #everythjng is fucking ruined now i cant promote my commission too #i cant promote my patreon #nothing #fucking nothing #im so fucking maddddd

[dottores]

the past few days have been wonderful 😍

#— vent #my dog is hurt :’) #we don’t know what exactly is wrong with him but #he can’t climb stairs or jump or walk properly #i’m rlly worried #i was so upset last night because he kept trying to jump on my moms bed because that’s where he likes to sleep #and he kept crying because he couldn’t #he tried so hard :’) #my grandad has gotten into 2 accidents in the past 2 weeks #both minor but :’) #his alzheimer’s is getting so bad we have to tell him he can’t drive anymore #and on top of all this i’m rlly struggling with what to do it it’s something #my bf is not giving me good options 🥲 he just wants me to remove myself from the situation but #i don’t want to #i’m just tired of ppl complaining to me about stuff and then doing the stuff they complained about to me like #:’) what does that say :’) #and on top of allllll of that #we had a mass for my grandma yesterday and idk :’) #i’m just not in the best headspace right now sobs #if you’re still here reading thru all of this i’m giving u a smooch #sorry for dumping it all :’) #i’ll answer asks & messages in the morning :’) i’m exhausted mentally and physically and need to sleep

[tennis-kittens]

Doubles trouble collection • Stefanos Tsitsipas and Feliciano Lopez • Acapulco 2022

#May these two make you as happy as you make me ♥️ #when you need a little emotional push #i was about yesterday years old when i discovered these two played doubles together and now i'm obsessed #not me watching this last gif on loop for the past 2 weeks #they look so happy i'm sobbing 😭😭😭 #bros who wear pink together win together #stefanos tsitsipas #feliciano lopez #doubles trouble collection #secret santa #Merry Christmas @soronya 🎄♥️

[banana-milk-enthusiast]

Was reading up on Pochacco because of this years april fools event in Granblue Fantasy, and

Me:

Anyone who shares my love of banana ice cream is a real one, I'm sorry I ignored your merch all the time 🧎🏾‍♀️‍➡️

#i never thought too hard about him theres so many mascots and i rarely saw him enough to look into it #but this absolutely changes up my rankings #he has superior taste #he's from fuwafuwa town🥺 #he weighs three 🥕 #im gonna sob 😭 #the only merch i have of him are some earbuds i literally never charge but i was eying some cute pochacco merch at miniso yesterday #i might cave now

[whydoifeelthisquiet]

..

#slight tw for the next few tags………… #my sister emotionally and verbally abused me last night and I don’t use those terms lightly at all #basically I texted my mom ‘yikes’ yesterday after she was being rude to us and she found it and started screaming #and said we all treat her so badly and none of us care about her which cannot be further from the truth #the gaslighting was out of this world #she said we started it? #my mom and I were both crying #she called me all kinds of awful names and kept saying fuck you so I said fuck you back #I have an anxiety around swearing out loud so the car fell silent #then she kept screaming #and I was sobbing and it ruined my makeup #then I had a panic attack #she got out of the car and then we had to go in fucking margaritaville resort to have a dinner w family we don’t see #she thought she was entitled to this outburst. #and I cried silently the whole way home and my pain was so bad on top of it #and now she’s acting like nothing happened. I did not get any apology. #it was HELL #and I just need to rant #I love her but…I did not deserve this #also slightly pissed at my mom bc she told my sister something I said that was supposed to be kept private #and my sister used it against me #sorry I needed to rant ❤️‍🩹 #Abby doesnt shut up

[ouchhq]

i think im gonna ask my therapist to get me an appointment with the private psychiatrist she suggested

#yesterday was kind of the wake up call #for a few days ive been feeling very little… still feeling bad but like sort of numb and i keep questioning wheter i actually need meds or #not which .. in any case i will not decide but a specialist will but anyways #and i was looking through book fairs and how to get appointments with publishers to show ur portfolio and just generally feeling like the #most incompetent person ever and also like i will never get anywhere because my style isn’t exactly what u see in most illustrated books #95% of which are childrens books…… and those styles are just different #anyway i digress #my grandma called and she was like what are u doing and i told her how stressed i was and i just started crying mid-sentence and i told her #i dont know where to bang my head anymore its too difficult and confusing and i feel like im just not good enough and im tired of trying to #keep it together.. she knows im not well mentally #like i was SOBBING #and she was like u shouldnt think like that u have to be patient keep trying and contact those publishers and whatever #and i get that she was trying to motivate me but i just told her flat out i. am. unwell. i dont know what to do anymore with this brain #and i asked her to please not tell me how i should think because i cant #and i know my grandad was there with her because he always is and he heard and like an hour later he came to my house to pick something up #and he was like ‘earlier i heard things i dont like’ aka me being depressed out of my mind #and then he said ‘we should talk about it sometime’ and proceeded to completely change the subject to his gums problem because he was going #to the dentist….ok #and the funny thing is things like this where people acknowledge that im struggling but proceed to say nothing about it keep happening #like i have a friend that i talk to very often and we say p much everything to each other but now shes working so she takes weeks to reply #and i told her i was doing VERY bad and of course she has her problems too… and she hasn’t replied to me in like three weeks or so #and she sent a text basically saying im dorry i havent replied yet i want to have time to do it well and hear how youre doing but hear this! #and proceeded to tell me stuff about her work and whatever… which is fine but dont tell me u care about how i am if u cant even check in #when u do have time because clearly u can send texts… #anyways im rambling good morning i already cried and its not even 9 great !!

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments

#ughhhhh i hate transitioning from no classes to classes again this shit sucks #i love being in class but it takes a while before my brain can get used to being in school mode #i wish they just never gave me breaks i would like that a whole lot better #i'm also having a crisis thinking about changing my major #but idk if that's because i actually want to or if i'm just v uncomfortable rn at the thought of having to learn how to be in school again #at the very least i get to go to class looking great today #yesterday i got my hair dyed so now it's neon red orange and yellow #someone told me i look like someone was making their first OC and they had fire powers #another told me i looked like sunset shimmer from mlp #at the very least i look rad as hell and it will make up for whatever horrible thing i end up doing wrong today #i really should've tried to take a class with a prof i'm familiar with but nooooo i waited too long to choose classes #and now i'm stuck with people i don't know who are going to say words to me when all i want is to not say a single word all day long #also i had to wake up at 5:30 today and will probably have to again bc i don't drive so i carpool and they have to work early as fuck #and now i'm on campus and also locked out of the buildings because i can't get the ID scanner to work and the buildings don't unlock yet #at least the feral cats keep me company in these trying times #and waking up early means that i'm just tired enough to not give a fuck anymore so at least i'm not sobbing on the floor (yet) #i'll probably try to save that for after classes end #though i'm feeling strangely okay today which i think might just be the grace period between transitions where i get to act like a human #before i freak out later #or maybe i just missed being in class enough to beat the bad vibes out of me? (probably not but i can hope) #i'm just saying words at this point but that's okay #i'm sure i'm interesting enough for everyone to love hearing about my morning #in which case i want everyone to know that i got the stupidest jacket from the thrift store a while back #and i am rocking it rn #every day i get up and get dressed i look in the mirror and see someone who would fit in better as an art student #but art doesn't make you money and i've lived in poverty too long to go with that #but if i'm stuffed somewhere where i have to have natural hair color and boring clothes at an office job i will probably go batshit tbh #the goal is to be so valuable in whatever field i choose that i get to do whatever i please #like L #anyway i have said so many words

[arthur-r]

lyrics: i’m a silly stupid angel, smile sweetly as you watch / and my wings are frail and brittle, and i whisper when i talk / please don’t remind me of the role i’m here to play / please god forgive me for the things that i can’t say / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / i’m your soulmate in denial, self esteem gets in the way / and i’m just a little child who won’t live to see the day / when i’m regarded as a human being too / but all your lies just start to blend into my truth / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / don’t try to tell me i’m not happy / don’t try to tell me this is wrong / don’t try to tell me that i’m broken / cause by now i’m too far gone / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment

#hi i have a very important linguistics paper due in seven hours but i am distracting myself by playing vent music #inspired by: i typed out a long tagful of venting on wednesday night and then realized it was dumb to post it but it included the words #‘​‘tomorrow i will smile like a silly stupid angel’’ and so then the next day which is yesterday when i was once again anxious #then i wrote that part into a song. and now my roommate finally left the room for long enough that i could record it. very roughly #one of those songs where i need to get to a piano and figure out what the real chords are. but here it is for now #anyway this is about suppressing yourself in order to be more easily objectified!!!! because you feel like that’s your innate purpose #the deeper meaning of your life perhaps. the person you need to actualize. that is why i wrote this song #something something i don’t actually think this wrote this during an anxiety attack etc. me when it’s 2 in the morning on a wednesday night #and i have a midterm in the morning but i’m too busy sobbing to either study or sleep. college!! so much fun!!!! #anyways. i’m normal now basically. aside from extremely important paper due seven hours from now #but here is a song right now. i feel like a lot of us are struggling in the same boat #and i definitely am. PS this is not even about my relationship that im in right now. which is good shdhdf that would be an awful start #it’s literally so inapplicable to my current relationship. but i am just still insane. and so i am still upset and afraid. so yeah #anyway i’m in a little bit of a weird way i’m sorry for speaking weird and whatever. looking forward to dinner i think #i hope everyone is doing well. and let me know if you need anything #sending love from depression dorm room. and hope everyone is holding it together okay #me. my post. mine. #delete later #ask to tag

[nnay-naee]

I have just finished Doctor Who s2.

I AM UNWELL.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#i know like yesterday I posted about me finishing s1 but I made a mess and I have now completely finished s1 and 2 and haven't seen anyelse #i swear im so normal about rose tyler #THE FACT IS #i have never liked Rose. #I like Rose as a father can like her daughter's fiancèe. #BUT STILL IVE SOBBED #I NEVER DO WITH SHOWS AND/OR MOVIES #NOT THIS MUCH FOR SURE #I AM NOT ALRIGHT THANKS FOR ASKING #doctor who #doctor who s2

[kingtankgirl]

i know i say rhis constantly but wow i am so at my breaking point

#my grandma is about 2 die so my moms mental health is gonna tank so hard. which is already is #and i cant help her cuz i dont live there anymore but god this holiday season is going to fucking suck #my chronic pain is getting worse. ive been barely eating for the last month cuz i just have no interest in food basically at all #broke down sobbing yesterday because it hurt so bad just trying to put my laundry away cuz my job is tearing my body apart #idk. i thought i wld be able to quit in a month or two but now i cant. #i dont have a light at the end of the tunnel at this point. nothing makes me happy im always hungry and in pain and fucking sad <3 #so i guess ill just sit here and cry and then go work for 8 hrs and think abt kms the whole time like i do most days