#i think i wanna go into psychology the way i be analysing stuff

[gu1lty-as-sin]

music is so strange in the way it holds memories. like lana del rey will always take me back to nyc, because she was the only thing i listened to when i was there. phoebe bridgers takes me back to her concert and the weeks before hand. paramore will always be early july to august

#idk #i think i wanna go into psychology the way i be analysing stuff #lana deal rey #phoebe bridgers #paramore #juno.txt #music

[thana-topsy]

If you're up for sharing more writing tips, how can I tell if what I've written is actually any good? With writing I get stuck in a cycle of feeling like I'm the next Shakespeare while writing but then I'll look over my work a few days later and absolutely hate everything and think it's the most cringe shit ever, then I'll leave it a bit longer and think eh it's not as bad as I thought but still not great and so on. I feel like being forced to write for a grade during school and having everything be marked and assessed and assigned a particular value has robbed me of the ability to critically analyse my own work in a way that's objective and accurate but also fair and realistic. I can analyse other peoples' stuff till the cows come home but I lose all rational thought when it comes to my own stuff

Adding onto that, how do I get to the point where I can stop looking back at my old work and hating everything and wanting to delete it all? Realistically I know finding fault with my old stuff is good bc it means I've grown and improved from where I once was etc but at the same time I wanna enjoy stuff I've made in the past without cringing every time I read it

Hey there Nony, I wanted to let this one percolate a little bit before answering because I've been where you are. And it's a rough time for sure. But aside from my own experiences, I also wanted to get the opinions of some of my writerly friends in the fandom, too, since everyone is a little font of wisdom in their own right.

So I'm going to share their advice alongside my own, because this is kind of a complicated string of questions you're asking. Long post ahead!

@paraparadigm says to Keep Writing: "Write more. Write so much (and so many different things) that eventually the sheer volume bulldozes over self-devouring ego, comparison twitches, or feeling lost, because you don't yet know your own baseline. Coupled with "read more, read everything, read things you enjoy and things you don't, read for the craft as much as the entertainment." And: "I'd add that when revisiting old writing, it's helpful for me to differentiate between "ew the writing is not as technically solid as it is now" and "ah that's interesting, I guess that's where I was at then, emotionally and psychologically". Old writing is also a sort of archaeological record of your younger self, and that can, in fact, be a bit itchy to revisit, so learning to cherish that without passing judgement can be really helpful. I try to treat it like those little marks one puts on the door jamb to track a kid's height."

@mareenavee says "Part of it is writing more, as Para said and I will always second that. Another part is, honestly, the hardest part. It's to try very hard to get out of the habit of negative self-talk.... There's so much work involved with this but normalizing being proud of your work and having some grace with yourself is part of that answer."

@archangelsunited says "Early on, instead of going “this has to be a masterpiece” I would tell myself my only job was to tell a story. I couldn’t tell a story if I was deleting it. Also, talking about your work helps. The less ashamed I was of my writing, the more people wanted to read it. There is a need to hide your work, and that can lead to a downward spiral all its own. And, 90% of the time, you have to suck at something to learn to be good at something. The work you already wrote shouldn’t be the sum of all your skill, it should be one of those measuring sticks for the moment. Despite previous thought, you won’t be stuck at the same level forever."

@polypolymorph says "In addition to accumulating experience via reading and writing, you also have to be willing to reinvent the wheel. Unfortunately the Process™️ is unique to everyone, and even when you are deliberately mimicking a voice as, say, a ghost writer, you can't expect that 2+2=4 for you. Your process might look more like a Lotka-Volterra equation for the same type of work and that's okay. Trial and error is the best way to figure out what advice actually works for you--and if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Don't get stuck on pop writing advice like a sad roomba does on an upturned rug. Learn when to throw it out."

So there's some advice from some other excellent writers! I hope you've been able to find some value in their advice, because it certainly kicked me in the pants a few times.

As for me, I think, having been where you are, my biggest piece of advice is: Find joy in the craft. Get curious instead of critical. An artist shouldn't down themselves over a rough sketch when they're working out a drawing, so why would a writer do such a thing? Everything you write is practice. Everything you make has value because it builds up to the next thing you make.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is capable of telling the stories that are in your head. This fact alone gives whatever you put onto paper value, regardless of quality. You are creating magic, in the most literal sense! Creating something out of nothing, conjuring images into someone else's mind from hundreds of thousands of miles away, transcending space and time. It's amazing!

Lastly, my final piece of advice is to just write for fun. Write things nobody else will ever see just because you wanted to get words onto paper. You have to unlearn what was drilled into you in school. You are more than a content creation machine. You are an artist, a wordsmith. And just know that there will never be a day when you look at your own work and say "That's it, I have achieved perfection."

Writing is a life-long journey. Just enjoy the ride!

#topsy's asks #writing #on writing #writing advice #writeblr #fanfiction

[broken-clover]

*poke poke* okay your turn lets hear some music takes! (no need for a long list like i did you can just tell me your top and bottom picks if you wanna)

Iiiiiii spent way too much time trying to analyze these. It felt like a good excuse to look at them all, your analyses were really fun to read! And I like making lists! Unfortunately I am way less knowledgeable about rock genres and music in general so this'll be less smartly analytical as opposed to me just screaming. Also I found out that I was way more opinionated on some songs than on others. Not surprising I guess but man looking between my thoughts on Chipp's vs Faust's was a little embarrassing.

Find Your One Way- Likewise I absolutely got the title confused. Tbh I think it'd make more sense if it was 'own.' I feel like this song sums up Sol well in terms of being edgy and rocking but mechanically pretty straightforward. Not bad, just kind of basic. It's serviceable. Just…not much else

Roar of the Spark- I fully maintain that Ky has not had a single clunker or flop theme, not even in the original vocal tracks. Tonally and lyrically it's an absolute gem. I adore how the sparkly keyboard gives it a bit of a 'holy' vibe. Not a second of it doesn't absolutely go hard. This is one that I regularly relisten to not even as a video game theme but just a song I love banging my head to

The Disaster of Passion- A little basic? Sure. Absolute bop? OH BOY IS IT. Utterly bursting with energy, but it never comes off as exhausting or cloying. For the most part I really love AISHA's themes, and it's another one I listen to for fun a lot

Out of the Box- I appreciate that even if I'm not a huge fan of the theme it still very clearly reflects who it belongs to. A very offbeat and leisurely feel, fits Axl perfectly. I love the drum kicks, but the high pitched parts are a little silly. At least it knows how to a decent chant, unlike some themes.

Play the Hero- ….man, it really is an anime theme, huh. The sudden sweep of energy going into the first chorus does do a great job of pumping you up. I wish I had more to say. It's good, it does its job.

Armor-Clad Faith- I don't know about 'underrated,' but I feel like the low, grinding, industrial vibe really fits Potemkin and creates a really powerful atmosphere that gets a bit overlooked. You can feel Potemkin, but you can feel the mechanical nature of Zepp surrounding him too. As much as I love Engage I'm tied between them, they both create really good atmosphere

Alone Infection- (Prepare for a long-winded mess)

It's been a hot second since I listened to this one, at least before Another Story, and not to read too into stuff, but I feel like the whole thing is an abridged version of Faust's entire plot arc. The first portion is growling and harsh and whispering with fretful undertones, which fits really well with his original snap as Baldhead, psychologically he was all over the place, unable to process the grief and self-loathing, and even after stopping with the killing and trying to atone, he had nobody to connect with or to talk to in order to help him understand and process his psychological damage. It constantly hangs over him, but nobody else can see it's there aside from him.

The sort of goofy vaudeville/circus-esque section could be a lot of the 'Faust' persona, but I'd lean towards Xrd and maybe the tail end of the XX-series. He's happy! He's fun! Don't focus on the undertones! He's the happy silly doctor man, everything is fine! Everything is fine!! But it's temporary, because it's just a band-aid on a stab wound, making everything look good on the outside. As soon as you prod it, it's obvious that barely anything has changed, and we're back to the chorus

And just as quickly, it all cuts out into a gentle guitar piece. I think this could be Another Story. It's finally quiet, no distractions for him to use to ignore what he hasn't been able to address. He recognizes that he's been running from his past and the trauma that comes with it, and is able to see 'eye to eye' with himself. It's difficult, and it's something he hasn't wanted to look at, but it's what he had to do in order to accept what happened and finally let it go.

While the final section is basically the same lyrics at first, it's much more grand and sweeping, soulful and dare I say it, hopeful. Positive things are mixed into the line about grief, and the final round of the chorus gives off the impression that he's come to terms with the fact that his trauma is something that he still is the only one that can see the full depths of it, but it's something he's accepted as a part of himself and can allow to coexist with the rest of him rather than overshadowing everything like it has for years.

Love the Subhuman Self- Ough Millia sweetie I'm so sorry I overlooked your theme it's fabulous. Tbh in general I love whenever they go for a more electronic sound, and the opener does give off a slightly lopsided vibe, like Millia herself isn't psychologically solid. But the low, grinding sound it veers into not long afterwards also works really well for her tonally, it remids me of a Metal Gear track, and offers up a mental image of her masking her uneasiness and discomforts with the rigid assassin duties she's given. The growl in the chorus also feels like a pretty obvious nod to Zato, and how even in a song that's supposed to be about Millia and who she is, he still seeps in. Even if she tries to move on, he's still there.

One thing I hadn't noticed the first couple of times that there's a sense of…almost childishness in some of the lyrics. The repeated mention of lullabies, throwing rocks into a lake like children would do, specifically the mention of looking 'cute' rather than something like pretty or beautiful that an adult would use. Could be overanalyzing but I like the suggestion it gives off that her upbringing left Millia psychologically stunted in some ways, and part of the reason leaving the assassin lifestyle is so difficult

Let Me Carve Your Way- Okay. Yes. The opening and the ending do worm into my skull and do indeed slap monumentally. However, I think the middle of the sandwich is just…decent. Basic in the same way that Sol's is, and I don't think it flows into the ending well, it just kinda stops and starts as a new song. Front half is a solid C tier, back is an A

Necessary Discrepancy- MORE ELECTRONIC SOUNDS YIPPIE. It plus the usage of Esperanto fits really well for an artificial girl. I know this one is a little divisive, but I love the chorus. The turn into standard guitar and vocals after the first chorus could make sense from a narrative POV, but it feels a little like playing it safe after getting experimental with the beginning. Did I mention I like the chorus? I like the chorus.

Hellfire- Cool opening! Can we please send Leo to therapy now. It's a good song but genuinely I don't think any of the themes are so transparently about self-hatred and intentionally suicidal recklessness born from it and it's legitimately hard to get into it like the others because I just keep side-eyeing the lyrics uncomfortably. Small aside but the sitar-esque twangs are a fun addition even if I'm not sure if it fits him well.

What do you Fight For- Still amazed they went for a Beatles homage in the intro. Like with Zato's though, the different parts don't so much flow into each other as they are stapled together. I like the radio segment but I still don't get what relevance it has to Nago. Thankfully he wasn't stuck with just the one

Trigger- She gets a really good and distinct sound, shame they don't do much with it. Nothing wrong with a song that just sounds fun, and while I know it's sort of the point of the lyrics, but given how much they were used for telling a story or going deeper on a character, hers is so surface level and uncomplicated that I wonder what the point is of having lyrics at all for her theme.

Rock Parade- Still eternally mad about the 'it's about wanting to have sex with Baiken' interpretation that is still so prevalent despite it not making a shred of sense. Nonetheless, terrific song. The shifts between parts actually feel natural. The usage of an intentionally more 'Japanese' sound in the later parts is both a fun way of tying into Anji's background and gives the emotions more of a sense of earnestness, which is especially punchy for someone who's known for their dishonesty

Requiem- It really stands out that so far, this is the first song that opens with lyrics. While I can't say this theme is my favorite for a couple of reasons, maybe in part due to listening again after Strive's release this one did bring my mood down. The post-chorus is getting stuck in my head though.

Crawl- BANGS BANGS BANGS BANGS THE THEME NAGO DESERVES. Perfect followup to I-no's theme honestly because the contrast of 'I'm not going to give up in the face of this suffering and I will literally crawl out of it if I have to' is all the more impactful. I adore the last round of the chorus and the concept of the 'freedom of calm' is so good that I can gladly overlook it being a touch cheesy

The Kiss of Death- Like with Axl's, I love how a theme can so resemble a character just in terms of its sound. Mechanical thrumming like heavy machinery and a slow, rocking beat? That's our peepaw! I wish the title had a bit more explanation behind it but that's a minor nitpick

Perfection Can't Please Me- Huh. It's just like Jack-O. Cute and boring. I get what they were going for, but this is the cloying energy that May's theme skirted. The 'this is it' refrain was fun and them playing around with piano was a nice touch, but like with Giovanna's the lyrics are so surface level comparable to others and the themes it's trying to go over feel like they were done better and more creatively in other themes

Drift- Playing with the piano again! Like with Ram's, opening with something cool and unique before shifting into the standard guitar feels like you're playing it safe. Hokey or not the Disney segment almost got me feeling something earnest before they gave up again. Dammit Happy you almost had something.

Mirror of the World- Like with Anji's I appreciate deliberately including more clearly Japanese elements, in this case the actual language. So much of this becomes more heartwarming since we got Another Story, relistening was worth it just for that

Like a Weed- I am ashamed to admit I had yet to hear this one in full. I say with shame because wow I sure have been missing out. Some of the lyrics feel a little forced, including the title drop, but I appreciate Naoki doing something different with his voice. The theme of 'life is simple and unremarkable yet beautiful and full of the meaning I choose to give it' is similar to Jack-O's except good and well done. The string outtro was unexpected but gleefully welcomed

The Town Inside Me- Similarly to May, a little basic? A little poppier? Yes, but if you're going in that direction, go whole hog, and this one totally does. Own it! In that way, it ties into Bridget even more. Use that energy to be joyful and confident. There's no shame to be had in being so bright

The Hourglass- Another song I hadn't gotten around to. Unlike Testament's though, I don't think I missed too much. It ties nicely into Sol's theme by being relatively basic. Not bad, just not anything stunningly original. The piano gave it some energy, but I don't think there was anything to make it have a clear identity of its own. Like you said, fun but simple in the way that Sin himself is. The fact that I've only heard it twice now probably doesn't help but I couldn't tell you any of the lyrics, it's that dry. Interested by the return of the radio/vaudeville voice, I hope it isn't meant to have the same implications as Faust's use of it.

The Circle- I'm starting to believe the crack theories that Happy and the bed siblings have something to do with each other because they both have themes with a lot of slapdash elements that don't mesh together. And, again, it's possible that was intentional, but by this point not even the mishmash is original. I still don't get why the chant is there, it adds nothing and feels like they're trying to fill space. Talk-singing is a staple with a lot of these, but this one feels the most egregious. I've warmed to it a tiny bit, I like a couple parts of it, but I think this feels less like a proper song and more like slam poetry. I want to like it. I really do. But when it came around to listening to this one again it felt more like a task to endure rather than be a song I genuinely enjoyed looking up and listening to for fun. I'm just confused how at how Does the Sheep Count the Sheep manages to do so much better at indicating who Bedman is as a character without having any words whatsoever and still having a good melody that flows well. I'm sorry for both of them, it's just such a nothing song to me.

#wooooo this got long damn #ask #guilty gear #everyone #Bedman and Sin go together again because they both have mediocre themes #is it obvious I'm writing this close to midnight

[tobeornottotc]

Hiya! Curious why you don’t like between us? I was so looking forward to it but haven’t been able to get into myself. I watched the first episode and didn’t feel anything so I’ve been watching the rest through gifs to see if it will spark my interest. I won’t go as far as to say I don’t like it, I’m hoping once it finishes I’ll be motivated to watch in its entirety. So far I’m just not connecting to it. Just wondering your thoughts on why you don’t like it?

Hi, Hello

Oh Boy here we go. Okay first of all I don't think I'm the right person to trust with this show. A small backstory on my relationship with this director, I don't like anything he produces, so that includes the famous Until We Meet Again which is loved by most people, and is my most hated BL series, like you however, I did look forward to between us because BounPrem and WinTeam stuck in my heart I liked them, I liked their edits, I even liked analysing the novel premise. Ofcourse I do it has psychology, trauma, depth, characterisation and a love story that is meant to be passionate (put a question on that one), so I thought between us even underneath this director would make sense and I would love it.

However anon, it didn't this director makes me want to fight someone, (I'm a peaceful person but he unleashes a horrible side to me) because I despise his choices, I despise how he directs, how slow it always feel, how I feel like there's no plot even he chooses the best plots to adapt, how grating his characters all of a sudden feel each time they're the main character, how lacklustre his shows feel sometimes even when something exciting is going on he has the power to make me hate my self each time I watch his shit. And honestly it's a me thing because personality wise I like him he's the cousin of my bias and he cares aboout queerness being represented correctly but I can't lie to my self I hate Between Us, I just can't even look at it every time, and it hurts because when it's WinTeam sometimes there's hope, other times I don't know why I'm watching this, the side couples are fuckking irritating, they take up so much screen time for nothing, and that's my taste, I dislike comedy so maybe New isn't for me, all I know is I'm not the person to try and ask this question to because I'm still processing what it is about this directors stuff so everything he's involved in makes me hate my self and wanna stop watching BL, because it's not adding up, and I've seen some reactors be able to equate how I feel see Kent Clark example who kinda makes fun of between us all throughout my school president episode 2 reaction he himself feels the same way I feel, yeh some points makes this show feel good, consent, passionate love, characterisation, some scenes, some even side couple storylines have potential but something isn't clicking it constantly feels like a fuckkking waste of time and honestly it's been 6 episodes and I'm not someone who is a masochist so I won't keep putting my self through extreme pain to get why this show is good and it leaves me feeling very isolated (but again I'm not trustworthy in this situation) like episode 6 where while I got why it should be loved I thought the acting was abysmal, sorry I guess, I thought i'm not connected to these characters even though I should be and I just wanted to turn it off, with any other director and script of the same story Between us will be my favorite so to see another New piece be intensely disliked by me despite me knowing why people like it, is just very sad, I don't want New anywhere near my fave books, companies (DMD, GMMTV should stop giving his shows too), and writers. I don't want him to direct anything I think I can watch because he ruins it for me and this has been happening since Love By chance so yeh No.

Sorry for the very biased and ignorant response but this is my truth, I hate myself for it, I think Between is can be amazing for a lot of people however I really do think it's overhyped because of the looks and somewhat chemistry of the main actors, i think it's efforts to having a deeper insight into characters that make sense is good but the whole execution just falls apart and I don't know how else to explain it, I know I'm a hypocrite because I know there must be some heavy biases here but honestly the fact that New has made me dislike the acting and appearance of my favorite thai bl actor, you know that something is wrong so I won't hide it. Gifs are really pretty, fanmusic videos are the best way to watch between us I know once its over the youtube your story edit of WinTeam i'll watch and i'd like probably because it's not them in the show that's the problem it's New. And I think a lot of people feel it but they can't explain why it feels that way to them even UWMA people had this complaint, people say it should be good because it's an amazing story premise, idea, thought, representation but all they feel is annoyance and a weird dislike for it and some people are doing for the same for this but not majority so even though I hate it doesn;t mean you'll hate it.

Thanks anon

I know I wasn't probably nice, or helpful but this show like takes my excitement and happiness out of me, like UWMA, Remember me, Star in my Mind, Dear Doctor, Love by chance 2, and so many fuckking more directed by New. Alright I'm out. Thanks for the question :)

#bl series #bl drama #thai bl #reviews #asks #asianlgbtqdramas

[bbugyu]

Hey, I read your analysis on svt's mbti and your other writings too. You're an amazing writer really! So, uhm, I would like to know your analysis on the rest of the members mbti. Like am dying to know. 🙈😆

I know it's too much to ask for everyone but maybe can you do Jun cause I feel like he's kinda the similar one to myself (infp t here) so yea, if you don't mind. Thank you so much in advance!

omg 😳 thank u for ur kind words!!! i LOOOOVE doing personality analyses and i haven't done one in a while so this is an open invitation for anyone to request any of the members i haven't done yet! for those unaware, i've done jeonghan, seokmin, mingyu, seungcheol, and seungkwan! i'll do jun here! i'm only gonna do one member per ask for organization sake if that's okay 😅 so if you or anyone else would like to see another member as well, feel free to shoot me an ask! these ones take me a little bit longer (all the seventeen facts are just in my noggin but i have to cross reference a lot of psych texts i have saved for the mbti stuff and my brain barely works okay it's a struggle) but i promise to answer them as quickly as possible!

all these analyses are based off the mbti episode of going seventeen, which is probably a little outdated at this point (the fun thing about personalities is that we are ever evolving and changing, so we can grow out of them!), but according to that episode, jun is an infp, or the mediator, just like you! the same as coups and dk, also hoshi if i remember right? in much of the world this is a really rare personality type, but an anon pointed out to me that korea actually has a much higher percentage of this personality type, which i think is super interesting! some core characteristics the mediator posess are an intense loyalty, strong empathy, and an ability to see the "big picture," which is why this personality type is often labelled as natural born leaders!

okay i made my gay little oolong tea and i opened my psychology citations. junie b jones analysis begins here 👇

the dominant cognitive function for mediators is their introverted feeling, which is where the I in INFP comes from. they are very, very emotional, but they don't always express those emotions outwardly, which is why they can sometimes come off as standoffish or emotionally unavailable. in reality, they're feeling EVERYTHING and DEEPLY, but because they are so empathetic towards other people's struggles and emotions, they tend to keep it to themselves in order to not burden others. like, did you know jun injured himself as a kid doing martial arts? he didn't tell his parents right away because he didn't wanna worry them, and because of it, he ended up getting a delayed diagnosis of SPINAL TUBERCULOSIS. like, he injured his waist enough to cause an internal infection on his spine that's not a thing you can just look over, and he was surely in a lot of pain, but he didn't want his mom to worry ;~; luckily he was able to be treated and has recovered, though you can kinda tell that his lower back is still stiff, but that's not particularly uncommon (he's not even the stiffest in svt lol) and is WAAAAY better than the alternative for spinal tb. but he's gotten better about sharing his hardship! i remember back during oty tour, i went to the seattle show and hearing that he couldn't participate at the san jose show because of poor condition really worried me. i wasn't even really a carat back then (i was a casual fan, but i became a carat after seeing them live LOL shout out to mama bbugyu for being the biggest carat ever and wanting to go for her birthday), but i was so relieved after they released hit the road because he expressed that he is able to share his hardships with people close to him (ie the other members).

the other aspects of his introversion really show themselves on gose i feel like LMAO. the way he will start a joke all confident and slowly fade into giggles and shrink into himself and project that embarrassment into anger is SOOOOOO DSKJFHSDJFH like you can tell he's super comfortable being out there with his members, but then he realizes how many people are behind the cameras and starts shrinking 😭😭😭 god he's so fucking cute imma kiss him

this being said!!! introversion =/= antisocial. jun gets along SO WELL with basically any chinese idol LOL and i'm sure part of that is the immediate in you have from both leaving your home and staying in a foreign country at such a young age, but you can tell by the way he talks and interacts with them that it's not just superficial. they keep up with each other! they text and call! i just think that's so cute! he also talks a LOT. like, i think jun is the member that could most easily have a youtube channel LOL because he never runs out of things to talk about, even if no one is engaging the conversation with him. you can tell when he does vlives LMAO like he could so easily be a twitch streamer or a mukbang youtuber because he will just find a subject and ZOOOM which. relatable. literally look at me rn.

you can also tell he is sUPER passionate. like, i'm gonna reference his htr episode again, but he talked about how it takes him longer to learn choreo because he focuses pretty intensely on the details of the movements. you would think this doesn't suit infp (another characteristic often used for them is that they brush over details and overlook little things because they're dreaming of the big picture), but ACTUALLY infps tend to have extraverted thinking, which means that in times of stress or pressure (yknow, like preparing for a comeback or a concert), they become SUPER detail oriented, and even a little pragmatic (which some people might just call blunt, lol, but some of us just talk like that ok). i'm pretty sure in htr he even says he can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to choreo, which you can tell by how fucking CLEAN he hits points. you can SEE the focus he has when they show the practice room on inside seventeen, or in dance practices. he talks often about small details that he thinks they should change to make a better overall look. i really admire him for being able to translate that detail orientation into the big picture that he can see so easily!

in conclusion i think it's really fascinating how the four infps in seventeen have the same personality type but still manage to have very different ways of showing it! like, clearly they all have these characteristics, but their ways of expressing and the points that makae up bigger parts of their personalities are different. so beautiful. i love them all so much 😭

#thanks again for this! #sorry it took so long for me to answer i started two hours ago but i got distracted bc i got super hungry KJFSKJF #ask #anon #junie #svt hc #🌵 anon

[ze-royal-jester]

oh,, well i take back about saying that shes looking for attention then!

i wont take sides bc i dont know yours story. i i saw this post that i think i need to share bc its relevan and i wondered why it came across my dash on pinterest (i dont believe it coincidences so i save and remember everything for a good time) that said "if you are in love with someone, you wont be interested in someone else. if you are then you arent in love" it was said by a psychology professor,,, i knew hybis at the beginning of the year but we stopped talking after a while and she wasnt the way she is now :( she was always there for me and talked about noah a lot and thought of him as a real soulmate and i never saw her that happy suuu i think it was just very shocking and maybe somewhat like "betrayal"? OH like that fox audio and the spots one?? the disloyal one,, its my favorite audio and i think that can kind of say what im trying to say, ik its childish of me to relate it to that but i dont know how to put it in words. i think she thought it would last and that someone finally saw something in her and so she got her hopes up and even wannaed to leave her life behind for him,, so i think it hurt more than she sayd it did an now its just hard to leave it behond for her an she isnt taking time to heal bc like, if i can remember correctly then she told me she hates crying bc it makes her feel weak and vulnerable. now shes using anger as a crutch i suplose :(

i know i dont have a say in this and i dont want to offend anyone but i tried putting myself in her shoes and realised that it mustve been hard hearing that from him,, even if it was just a crush. she puts a lot of stress on this topic specifically so i thought id,, dig deeper,, she used to tell me abt her ex and that he chose another girl over her and that the two were actually together through the entire relationship between him and hybis and i think this brought up some bad memories and that shes needing to recover for a second time. she sayd she was sad about it for a little but let it go sooner or later, but she thought abt it every day and how she was scared the same would happen in future relationships,, she met noah after all of that and i think that for her,, the stress disappeared for awhile but came back and it started messing with her head so she burdened the relationship between her and naoh. idk if im thinkimg right, i just analyse a lot of stuff and so this a aught my attention

and thank u for being so sweet about everything, i appreciate it very muchs!

i understand that completely, i do understand her feelings and why shes upset. id feel upset too ofc. its just the way she handled it wasnt correct. i mean, she even talked about killing him.

but anyways, aside from that, i understand her. i know it hurt her, tore her apart. and i wont bring up noah's feelings because this is about hybis right now. hybis had every right to feel upset. but she borderline attacked us in my own ask box as well as her own blog. i dont think i can forgive her but i can understand her and move on.

thank you for coming and asking so nicely to understand both sides. this was really mature and a great refresher from the usual stuff.

have an absolutely amazing day/night anon and take care of yourself!

[life-rewritten]

SPOOKY/ NON SPOOKY BLS TO WATCH IN HALLOWEEN

Happy Spooky Season BL Fans! Honestly so sad that in Halloween we can't really fully enjoy it due to the pandemic out there. So why not stay at home and have a fun night in during this spooky month watching BLS with spooky/entertaining shows to get you into the spirits. Surprisingly there was a lot of shows from different countries I could add to this list. Join me and let me know what shows you plan to watch for this Halloween! 

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows/again? 

Korea

1. Antique

Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Bakery,  Bromance, Open ending/Happy ending. Country: Korea Verdict: Weirdly, this is one of my favourite BL movies, to be honest, most Korean movies just make me happy despite the sense that you can feel it's censored more than it has to be. Either way antique is so fun to watch, at first you're watching about this guy who hates cakes and sweets, but it is determined to start a bakery to find out some weird stalker who is kidnapping kids, and you're like wait what? As we delve deeper into his past, it becomes horrifying, terrifying and also just intriguing to find out what made him the way he is and how it's affected him psychologically. Add a twist of BL with someone who absolutely loves him and helps him with his bakery, and it's cute and lovely to see.

2. Method Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Romance, Tragedy, Acting industry, Internalised Homophobia Country: Korea Verdict: Korea is so good at producing these deep movies that really make you think and analyse whilst still having this haunting introduction to couples that are tragically affected by Internalised Homophobia in Korea. Method may seem like just an artistic story about two people who are being fake with each other, and it does seem that way at the end but when you actually look at it deeply you'd see it's a tragic love story about two people who couldn't fight society with their love for each other and decided to use facades to hide what truly happened. Anyway brilliant show, very thrilling and scary at times towards the ending especially about the psychology of Method actors and the struggle to differentiate  what's real vs what's acting when it comes to love and obsession?

Taiwan

History Hero/Obsessed

Ratings: 3.8/5 Genre/Themes: Gender bender, Rebirth, Ghosts,  Death,  Romance, Comedy, Happy ending Country: Taiwan Verdict: History is one of the best anthologies Taiwan produced for BL. And even the first history series are just as good as recent, whilst maybe more low budget and shorter, I still enjoy them as much as the other one. Hero is one that is actually not my most loved one, but it's heartwarming and also interesting to watch. It's a supernatural gender bender, with our main charcter's body taken over by his crush's girlfriend who we watch figure out the budding relationship between her boyfriend and the dead guy. It seems it would be tragic, or end in a heterosexual way but it doesn't, it does have a bitter sweet ending since we're seeing it from her perspective but our BL character's come out unscathed. Obsessed is one of my faves, also a rebirth story, our main character comes back to life and goes back in time after being betrayed by his lover determined to avoid him as much as possible only to realise that his lover is obsessed and determined to get them back together despite not understanding why he loves him. It's so fun to watch this show, and I enjoy the chemistry between Benjamin and Teddy. But yeh Halloween, mysterious deaths, rebirths and romance great times!

Chinese

Rebirth Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Rebirth, Romance, Historical,  Death, Drama, Royalty, Happy ending Country: Chinese Verdict: Absolutely so stoked with this drama, frustrated with censorship from China which prevented some scenes from being shown like the waterfall kiss, but it has a happy ending! Like what? I'm so happy because it's quite dramatic and has moments where it looks like would be tragic but I adore the romance between the King and his companion, and the way they're both loyal to each other. For Halloween this deals with death and reincarnation of our main character to return back and save the King from getting killed. Go watch it if you can find uncut link so worth it.

Untamed Ratings: 5/5 Genre/Themes: Zombies, Fantasy, Horror,  Romance, Happy ending, Rebirth, Death Country: China Verdict: Like I don't have to explain this one. Go watch it if you haven't. Tbh for Halloween I'm not going to be watching the show Untamed because I've seen it too many times, so I'll probably be crying over Wei Wuxian and Wang Ji's love with the audio drama (Season 3 especially) Whatever way you wanna watch Mo dao Zu shi: anime, book, tv show, audio drama, this is a masterpiece and so incredibly scary enough, supernatural enough and great enough for this Halloween. A masterpiece.

Guardian Ratings: 3.5/5 Genre/Themes: Supernatural, Romance, Rebirth, Horror, ,Bromance, Censored, Comedy, Mystery, Detectives Country: China Verdict: Guardian is so fun to watch but when I think of it's original source I get so upset with China and I just don't want to watch it especially that stupid ending. But for Halloween Guardian is the most Halloween like BL show there is, deals with demons, zombies, ghosts, etc Mysteries about aliens, humans and supernatural deities. And a painful romance that has amazing chemistry, acting and story behind it. Go watch it just for the fun cases the characters have to investigate each episode connected to the supernatural stuff.  Or go read the book and see what it was meant to be like.

Thailand 

Red wine in the Dark night Ratings: 3.5/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Horror,  R rated, Tragedy, Vampire Country: Thailand Verdict: My first movie introducing me to Fluke and his incredible acting. But like this movie messed me up, I went into it like nice vampire/cute boy romance and halfway through I was like wtf?? It's incredible and dark to see this movie and for Halloween scary enough to contemplate and analyse so yeh a great spooky watch with shady, flawed characters traumatised to make choices to be with love.  Watch it for Fluke.

Blue Hour Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Horror,  R rated, Ghosts, Mystery Country: Thailand Verdict: This is another messed up movie with an amazing cast. Both Oab and Gun are like so great in this, and they are my ghost ship. This movie starts of like a romantic with drama BL movie, about like falling in love and meeting the right person and then it just gets twisted and starts to be horrifying. Again has a lot of shady, dark characters who do things that are just so unexpected. It will scare you well and Gun's performance as a winner. But we already know this about him. Go watch Gifted and Gifted Graduation (also spooky in my opinion for Halloween)

My dream Ratings: 3/5 Genre/Themes: Supernatural,  Fantasy, Romance,  Drama Country: Thailand Verdict:  Okay only adding this on the list because of its supernatural genre but I actually don't remember what this is about. All I can remember is the main love story is between Runway and his lover who he sees in his dreams due to a mysterious dream catcher given to him by his family to protect him. Yeh this is fantasy so good for halloween but it's actually not my favourite show, I remember disliking a lot of things about it apart from the second lead couple so yeh Meh. But for Halloween you can squeeze a watch and try and see if you like it.

Until We Meet Again

Ratings: 4.2/5 Genre/Themes:  Reincarnation,  Rebirth, Suicide,  Drama, Death, Romance, Mystery, Happy ending Country: Thailand Verdict:  Can’t believe I almost forgot about this, But this is a great thai BL series, one of the best ones actually if you’re okay with slow paced storyline but with depth, and interesting plot. I love all the couples on this show and it kept me on my toes with anxiety and worry about how it was going to end. Go watch this for Fluke again, as he is so amazing at his role of Pharm. Everyone else on this cast is also my favorite. Reasons for Halloween, this deals with the psychological trauama of death and suicde, and also deals with the consequences of reincarnation. Because of this the psychological breakdown and reveal of Pharm’s connection to Inn, is ver scary, worrying and frightful as you go deeper the story. We’re not sure where this will lead, but we know as an audience that it sure isn’t going to be a nice reunion with Inn and Korn whenever the latter finds the truth about why they’re dead. Yeh towards the last three episodes it’s almost close to being a thriller, so much angst, drama and pain and fear for our character’s lives, will make this a scary but not scary Halloween watch for sure. 

Greater man academy Ratings: 5/5 Genre/Themes: Gender bender, Fantasy, Unicorns  Romance, Competitive all-boys school, Happy ending, Plot twists Country: Thailand Verdict: Can I just praise how genius this series is. Because no one else doing so it's understandable it's hard to find the subs because Nadao refuses to release it on its platform. Either way seeing Nadao mentioned as the producers makes you know this is incredible. From acting, to story telling, to directing, to dynamics, to the romance. I am in awe of greater man academy and I will never stop speaking about how I wish more BLs was like this. Add she's the man (the movie or twelfth night by Shakespeare) and BL tropes to this and you get greater man academy, Except this show is different, 3 dimensional characters that will take your breath away from the amount of plot twists written for their characters, romances that will keep you on your toes with anticipation and mystery and the suprising fact that this ends up as a BL when it didn't need to is what shocks me still to this day. Go watch it I don't want to spoil anything else. Just watch it. For Halloween we have magical unicorns with wish granting abilities, ghosts and other fantasy themes in the academy for the great men.

He's coming to me Ratings: 4.5/5 Genre/Themes: Ghosts, Mystery,Slice of Life,  Romance, Comedy, Happy ending Country: Thailand Verdict:  I've already talked about this show on here as well. But again just go watch it, it's incredible a bit slow paced but it's worth it. I just want more shows like He's coming to me, the whole supernatural world building was fantastic, the mystery, the plot, the love story between our main guy who sees ghost and his ghost best friend, and him learning to embrace his identity and sexuality. Brilliant. Also again Ohm Pawat is in this so are you shocked and Singto as well who is amazing.

The Shipper Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Death, Gender bender, Mystery,, Tragedy, Comedy, Romance Country: Thailand Verdict: Didn't know if I should add this here but there is a heavy supernatural theme to it, and it does have BL despite the fact that could be questioned but I love Way and Kim, and I think the actors are great and the plot is actually good for most of it, there are some issues with the show but honestly if the ending was better It would be a favourite of mine in 2020. Sigh. Halloween there's death, and the lore surrounding death and mystery about why it and how the circumstances our main character is happened, and it keeps you on your toes. Ohm Pawat that's it another reason and First and Fluke were incredible in this. Girl actresses were also good. And it's directed and written by the writer of the girl from nowehere, so that's another positive. (Must watch for Halloween if you haven't yet not BL)

Other recommendations: Bite fight, Niyamruk, Ghost boyfriend, Ghost Roomamate, Fanatic Love.War of Highschool 

That;s the list I’ve compiled. Probably missing like other spooky ones because I’m a wimp and horror aint my thing, Romance is. So here you have some shows mixing the two in a non squeamish way for me.  What about you guys how’s your Halloween season and planning going? Have fun!

#thai bl #bl drama #bl movies #antique bakery #method #history obsessed #history series #mo dao zu shi #untamed #guardian bl #fluke natouch #red wine in the dark night #blue hour #gun attaphan #greater man academy #he's coming to me #ohm pawat #the shipper #wrpup #halloween

[brightgoat]

Bright, how did you manage to become so popular and so good at storytelling? Is there any advice you can give to any aspiring creators out there who want to start their own ask blog?

If I could try to guess where my popularity came from, it’s probably from latching onto pop culture (indie games especially), making fanart for popular stuff will get you attention, and then once you’ve pulled in an audience, you can pull out your OCs. 

My biggest pull in so far was through my cuphead stuff and askblog.

As for storytelling - I don’t really know how to answer this, I wouldn’t consider myself that good because if someone actually sat down and idk,, analysed the pacing and order (and consistency) of my askblog there’d be ton of mistakes I bet.

more shit underneath cut i fuckin ramble like a maniac fuck me

To be good at storytelling - you gotta read stories. Read books and comics, watch shows, movies, animes, cartoons.... also watch videos of people on youtube ripping apart bad writing (KrimsonRogue is really entertaining) so you know what NOT to do haha

The only advice I can think of is (and I’ve stated this before):

If it’s an original universe or some very unique AU - make an introductory post with refs, plot and some little hints at something bigger, something sinister. Use these hints a lot. If it’s OCs you’re gonna have to have more posts/art already made I’d believe.

NOW, TO GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY: I don’t know if the kind of askblog you’re making is like,, a quick fun one with just a bunch of characters in an empty room forced to co-exist OR one with an active storyline and lore and shit. My one started out as the former and became the latter somehow. But I imagine the latter is much more interesting for people, so I’m assuming you’re going with that, but even if you don’t then this stuff can still be useful:

Try your best to make each ask have something important, and by important I mean either plot or character. 

Make their personality apparent as to not seem stale (but not too much, keep it somewhat like a realistic person), make it interesting, include an interaction, something in the background that defines them (like their room) or maybe they’re in the middle of doing something.

When it comes to plot, try to inject worldbuilding or story into the asks as well, maybe through a flashback, or the character brings it up. This can be hard with dumb asks that are dumb (what’s their favourite food, what’s their favourite colour blah blah) but try to find a way to connect it. Like maybe their favourite food is something made up and special to their world. Maybe they associate it with family or parents or somethin. Maybe their favourite colour holds some meaning, maybe they’re a painter or they just like symbolism because they’re lame like me nah jk ppftt

Also when it comes to character writing - I really recommend and I think more people should read on basic psychology. Nothing too extreme or PHD levels shit but just basic personality types, habits, patterns and stuff like that, it’ll really make your characters more realistic and interesting.

Base it off of stuff from your life or your own emotions, I do this and I think everyone subconsciously does.

FORESHADOW, fuckin include little hints, little bits, little somethings in the background that mean theres something more afoot, build MYSTERY, people LOVE THAT SHIT and SO DO I and it keeps viewers invested.

Of course, keep all of this balanced, don’t overdo it.

I don’t think askblogs are a very... conventional way of storytelling? Like I guess they’re just interactive comics in a sense but idk i have no idea how to write books, or make episode scripts (although I really wanna and have so many ideas) or write movie scripts and shit yeah so idk take what you will

[nattikay]

Why Troll!Jim is my favorite character

My mind kept rollin’ around after making that post about how different people can like/dislike characters for different reasons and decided to share why my favorite Trollhunters character is just that. Especially because there’s a number of people out there who really don’t like him, and you know what, hey, valid. You don’t have to like the same characters I do. This post is not meant to convert anyone to my “side” or anything. Just to explain why I, personally, find the character appealing.

1.) He’s simply CUTE!

This is, of course, 100% subjective, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE troll!Jim’s design y’all. Blue skin, which is my favorite color--actually appears blue-gray in some shots, which reminds me of my fav cat breed tbh, the “British Blue” which are actually a kinda rich gray. The floofy hair. The cute little teefers. The way he moves like a big ol’ kitty.

Sure there are some things I could nitpick, for example I think the mismatched hands are kind of an odd choice, but nonetheless I just really enjoy watching him. Seeing him on screen makes me smile. 

Just look at this precious bean. I wanna scoop him up and give him a big ol’ snuggle!!

He’s very fun to draw too!! I very much enjoy doodling his design. 

I already loved Jim’s character as a human; now he has all those moments and development and character PLUS an extra-adorable design (imo at least--I mean, his human design is cute too, I just happen to prefer his troll design :) ). For me that’s a win-win lol.

2.) Biology

I love speculative/fantasy biology; I’ve always found it fascinating to analyze and theorize about and headcanon for. Those who have known me long enough to recall my days in the Inuyasha fandom probably know this; I used to make huge analyses on the speculative genetics of the half-youkai protagonist and make in-depth headcanons on how his biology worked (hmmm, another half-human you say? Strange, it’s almost like I find that a particularly interesting concept to theorize about! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Same thing for troll Jim. We know very little about what being a half-troll entails, whether or not Jim is the only one to have ever existed, etc., which leaves a lot of stuff up to interpretation and I love that! It’s so much fun to think about and speculate on how his new form operates, how it’s different from both full trolls and full humans but also in what ways it’s akin to each, what strengths and weaknesses come with the hybrid status, etc.!

It’s the exact kind of thing that really piques my interest and gets me thinking and theorizing! :)

3.) Change

Alright, so this isn’t something I really make a habit of talking about online because it’s quite personal, but I’ve always struggled a great deal with change. I am a creature of habit and like to stay in my comfort zone with most things. Any big change in my life causes a lot of stress and irrational anxiety, and I know it is irrational, and I try to overcome but for me it is. so. hard.

Starting middle school was terrifying. Starting high school was terrifying. Starting college was terrifying. Graduating college and moving into the “real world” was terrifying. And right now, as much as I love the idea of having a loving partner, the idea of dating and starting a real, serious relationship and getting married is terrifying. It’s such a major change in life and you can never quite go back to the way you were before. You don’t retreat back into your comfort zone, that next stage is your New Life. And that’s terrifying.

Yes, I know, to a lot of you much of that probably sounds silly, and like I said, I don’t really like to discuss it much online (or anywhere really, unless you’re my mom or my therapist). But it is something I struggle with quite often as a young 20-something with anxiety.

All that said, Jim’s transformation has forced him into a situation that I absolutely, 100% understand would be absolutely terrifying. And there’s no going back. The change is permanent. He can’t retreat back to the comfort zone of being fully human. His life is forever altered, for better or for worse.

And if I feel so deeply for how scary that is, why the heck do I love this character so much?

Because he’s heckin’ inspirational for me, gosh dangit.

If this character that I enjoy so much can go through such a major life-shattering event, something after which nothing will ever be quite the same, and yet still be able to adapt--still be able to find happiness--still have all the unconditional love and support from friends and family--maybe I can too.

Troll!Jim is a comfort character for me. He represents someone who went through one of my worst psychological fears and, eventually, come out the other side with a smile. He’s someone that I can project my own struggles onto and then watch him overcome them.

That’s part of the reason I so much detest the idea that he’ll never be happy again unless his transformation is reversed. How soul-crushing that idea is to someone like me.

So......yeah. There you go. That’s why troll!Jim is my favorite character. You still don’t have to like him; that’s fine. We’re all entitled to our own opinions and interpretations after all.

But this character is very special to me, and that, at least, is not going to change.

#trollhunters #jim lake jr #troll jim #I was...pretty hesitant to write out that third section #people will probably think it's silly or not worth taking seriously #idk it I even quite explained it adequately #and like I said I know the fears are irrational but..... #idk man #clinical anxiety is a beast #troll jim is basically my emotional support character right now and no amount of negative posts can take that away from me #so...............yeah #just my opinions...

[macklives]

session 81 end

wow, okay, first things first

AC!!!!!

shes so fucking cute holy shit i love her so much i dont even know where to begin??

i mean i guess its because im so used to troll snark and the way they just? banter constantly? seeing someone who is a literal ray of sunshine is so refreshing and wholesome and pure. god she’s great. shes a cat, she knows her stuff. she’s strong and theres also this guys???? who shes scared of?? and tells her what to do??? yeah no, idk who it is but let her make her own decisions lol

maybe its just over exaggeration or whatnot, and hes not bad but first impressions do a lot to me and right now the only thing i know about this guy is that AC needs his approval for everything. i guess ill see where that takes us. hopefully nowhere bad. but AC seems like she can take care of herself and knows how to be a good decent troll and i love her for that. wow it literally took me one dialogue to like her. damn, that was fast. jesus.

you know who else is great?

terezi.

yeah i know right. and that whole trial thing, which yeah i guess half the time i was confused by what the fuck is going on since i still cant grasp the idea of how alternia works, but i enjoyed myself with lemonsnout and how terezi roleplays and how much she gets into it. seeing a character that passionate about something is so sweet and nice.

god this was just a nice overall session

which i say, while i completely forgot about the banter TA and karkat got into

right, that happened. oh my god. they both literally stomped all over each other, dissed one another, still made up in the end because apparently thats their friendship and i guess it just works like that. depends on the friends you have, i guess.

its funny though, not gonna lie

and karkat as of now is just being a prick and honestly? 

like more than usual, which i guess is weird to say but i mean from present time to beginning of hivebent karkat. not that its uncommon for him to be a prick, he is, but seeing him go through the non-linear pattern with john is mmmmh interesting to say the least. though we havent seen his first trolling, just him constantly going “oh god what did i say, i was dumb” u know, not in those words but thats basically what he means. 

ooh im gonna analyze, i feel like analyzing right now my fingers have already typed so much as it is MIGHT AS WELL

and our candidate will be *drum rollll* karkat wow predictable (its below the cut because this is literally irrelevant now to the session)

okay, lets lay out the shit we have already. as i said before, the way he talks presently to john (meaning in the future) is so different than how he speaks to everyone now. of course the “i hate the world” personality is still there, and hes still just regular karkat, but karkat talking with john is patient to some extent and tells him what he needs to know for the game, lowkey kinda chills out once they started talking about movies or growing up as huh, didnt he say larvae or smth?

okay that whole grub thing makes sense now as i just wrote that but i am still confused as to what the FUCK that is implying because i dont think it crossed my mind this much, im repressing it for now until it comes up later. 

anyways, back to what i was saying. he was so DIFFERENT than the way he’s acting now which is bitch and moan and like? stfu karkat lmfao. i mean, its not THAT big of a difference in character, because i know he’s still his grumpy old self, and theres a lot of potential.. for growth? not sure if we’ll get it but i like to assume we will get character growth from these characters with fucking 8000 pages talking about them. but a story needs that growth and with karkat being just a straight up angry dude, in MY EYES, he should.. have growth, no? idk HOW he will grow, but im basically just taking what i have right now which isnt much but i analyze things for fun sometimes so let me be.

that being said, because its so early on, im not sure where homestuck is gonna go and i dont have much to go on but being in the psychology course shit happens when you have limited information and you gotta pin point what makes a person a person and how do they cope with things to grow further into life. many of my assignments involve limited info so honestly, not that hard.

but it is something that ive noticed, the way karkat is different as he grows which possibly means the whole veil thing happens later later on in his life and we havent yet seen that small growth become patience and not whining every time he doesnt get what he wants. but growth is common and it mostly likely happens to everyone, so its not like wow this is a surprise and a plot twist, more of something that i just wanna write for the sake of writing it. i hope that makes sense? i dont exactly know where im going with this. i just mean that im basically going to analyse karkat a tiny bit so idk how to otherwise explain it but you’ll get where im going with this as i type more lmao. 

anyways, so karkat literally said “pretend i dont think highly of my friend’s talents” as if he’s visibly trying to force himself from all emotions and bash on those who do (reference: “stop being sensitive, its repugnant” or whatever tf he said while TA replied with “hypocrite”) i take that as a key word. so honestly, while that was the smallest thing ive gotten from this session, its the thing im most curious about actually and i actually havent mentioned lol. because what ive learned in psych, which this is just common knowledge but i did an assignment on it so like?? could be useful?? is that people who hold off their emotions tend to hold off others as well, so there is no chance of mirroring each other. in other words, if someone is happy and starts to laugh and goof around with another, the emotions will mirror that other person subconsciously. like an addictive laugh. theres also another way to show mirroring, which is to mimic another person's actions, allowing another to establish a sense of empathy and thus begin to understand another person's emotions. in this case, im using TA and karkat as example. people who suppress emotions tend to see emotions as a bad sign and if somebody else portrayed any sign of it as well, they’ll basically say “gross what are you doing” because theyre so used to concealing it away, that they dont want others to think theyre into the whole mushy shit. so they pretend to hate it, pretend to not even be slightly affected by general sensitivity..

which basically means karkat is a softie, and even if he’s a prick right now, meeee thinks john, from earlier convos, is growing on him because john himself knows how emotions work and while i dont think troll culture does know much about it, considering the BLOOD AND CARNAGE thing, he is in fact growing and even if thats obvious, and you all know it, i am new to homestuck and am trying to see that for myself. its noticeable to some degree. he may always still be a jerk, but i am waiting to see how he slowly starts to accept things around him and to finally show what hes hiding inside. even if its just going up by a few percentages, i see its there and im hoping VERY HOPING he has the biggest character growth!

in other words, why else do i think this?? well nobody who watches romcoms can be that fucking aggressive. you need some sap in you to like it.

on that note, ill probably analyze alternia’s system and rules in another post later throughout these next few sessions because i feel it needs to be talked about and the way everything just.. is so different and doesnt seem right, you know?

thats it for now goodnight

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs81 #hs81 end #tfw you get so into the analysis simple shit doesnt come to mind like tagging or putting a title

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

what are you guys’ favorite headcanons? i’ve got some rarer ones for callie and feferi but i’m curious about yours :) also trans john

I don’t know if you just mean gender and sexuality headcanons, so I’m gonna write down all significant headcanons. Here’s some of mine:

Dirk and Jake are aromantic and they are best friends.

John is Big and I want him to crush me with his bare arms.

Dirk? Nonbinary.

Also Dirk? Enjoys a lot of traditionally feminine things but suppresses it all due to the way he unintentionally spoon-fed himself a lot of toxic masculinity as a kid without actually knowing what he was doing, because he was all alone in the middle of an ocean for most of his life. Most of this stems from worrying about what his bro would think, and wanting to make him proud, even after death. It’s a psychological trainwreck, and I don’t even need to analyse it since I basically am going/have gone through the exact same thing myself. Self Projection Time, Bitch.

No cishets. None.

Jake is actually really smart but pretends not to be, because he thinks that’s how people want him to act because he already gave off that vibe when he first met the other alpha kids. More at 8.

Before the epilogues came out, I had my genderfluid transfeminine Roxy and I will still die for her.

Jake’s accent is fake and was learned from audiobooks and old movies. He is a Fake Brit and I am ashamed of this imposter.

Just kidding, I’d die for him.

Have you realised that most of my headcanons are to do with Dirk and Jake? Buckle up, ‘cause it doesn’t end here.

They’re both physically and emotionally intimate with each other (as in they cuddle a lot and other stuff) but they’re still only friends because that’s what they’re both comfortable with and it’s an uneasy balance, but they make it work because they care about each other a lot.

Dirk? Queer.

He doesn’t like the label of “gay” for various reasons, so “queer” is a lot nice for him.

Quote Headcanon-Roxy, wobbling in kitten heels: yeaaa.. idk if heels r 4 me,,Dirk, walking around seamlessly in 6-inch stilettos: Suit yourself.

I have a bunch of headcanon paragraphs showing all of the kids at their most attractive. That doesn’t make sense but I basically have an entire paragraph detailing a situation in which John is tired and smiles at the reader and he just has the Best sleepy smiles. That’s unrelated but I wanted to bring that up.

Literally ask me anything about headcanons like “Hey Mod Hal, what do you think of This?” and I WILL respond with an essay if it inspires me even in the slightest.

Conclusion: No one’s asked me about my headcanons before, so I just kinda went apeshit while simultaneously forgetting all of my headcanons ever. I hope this is at least somewhat coherent.

-Mod Hal

P.S. GIVE ME YOUR HEADCANONS OP PLS I WANNA HEAR EM

#mod hal #not a quote #sunflower-dusk #ask me anything about the psyche of dirk strider i DARE you

[dkettchen]

“I can’t believe I related to Logan Paul today”

I’m watching Shane Dawson’s Jake Paul documentary, and I just got to the part with Logan’s messages admitting saying that he has sociopathic tendencies, and talking about how he is trying to cope with them because they got the better of him earlier in the year.

Before I continue I just wanna put a disclaimer at the beginning here to say: I don’t approve of any of the horrible things the Paul brothers have done over the years (I don’t even know about most of it, is why I’m watching this documentary series in the first place), but I wanna put those things aside for a minute to talk about what it’s like having sociopathic tendencies (also I just got reminded that it’s World Mental Health Day today so yay that fits I guess x’D)

(also tws: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, trauma, depression, anxiety, I think that’s all of them)

I have sociopathic tendencies. I haven’t been officially diagnosed or anything, but like what would a diagnosis do for me, it’s not something that can get cured, it’s something I had to (and still have to) learn to deal with.

I have anger issues that I’ve been working on and dealing with since I was a teen. I have been self-destructive in so many ways over the years, from scratching my arms bloody because “it’s not self-harm if you don’t cut yourself”, to getting so caught up in analysing other people that I wasn’t looking after myself and fell into depression, to skipping meals and breaking my physical and mental health for work (see current straining injury as latest example). When I was around 15 I wondered what the point in living was, and the only reason I could think of not to kill myself and end my own suffering was because it would bring unnecessary pain to the people around me. 

The first time I changed schools because we moved I was 6, I cried my eyes out when my mom told me I wouldn’t be in the same class as my friends anymore. The second time I was 10 and better prepared. On the last day before I moved my classmates took turns hugging me goodbye, even the ones that I wasn’t that close with. I didn’t understand why they were so nice to me. Like yeah it was sad that I had to move away, but they didn’t need to care about me. I didn’t care. The third time I was 12. I had only been at that school for 2 years and I knew from the beginning I would have to change again for secondary school anyway, so I enjoyed my time there, but I didn’t get attached to anyone. Not really. On the last day, my friends cried at the idea of going to a different school than me, this person they’d barely known for two years, I watched my friends cry and didn’t feel anything. Or like, I felt guilty for not feeling anything, but I didn’t feel sad. I knew this was gonna happen. I had been through it so many times by then. They hadn’t. The school I changed to happened to be in my original hometown, so some of the people I had gone to primary school with were suddenly in my class again. It was like seeing ghosts. In my mind they had been dead to me, I was prepared to never see them again, and there they were, back in my life. It was very strange. I’m pretty sure the moving/losing whole friend groups is my trauma. Mom if you’re reading this, I don’t blame you, it’s ok, I got through it, if it hadn’t been for that it’d’ve been something else that messed me up. 

-Ah yes, look at me typing this and tearing up because of it, that’s the empathy that happens, and the reason I’m not a full sociopath. Sometimes there’s things I should care about, feel empathy about, and I simply don’t, I simply can’t, and I feel guilty for not feeling what I’m supposed to, and then other times I get overwhelmed by emotions, and I don’t understand why sometimes it’s one way and sometimes it’s the other.

There were many other bad things that happened during my teens, heartbreak and losing friends, and to some extent that’s part of growing up, but I can feel another part of my soul dying every time something like that happens. It gave me trust issues, it made it so I’d have a harder time truly committing to new friendships or relationships, in part because I am afraid they’ll leave and hurt me if I let myself have feelings, and in part because I simply can’t seem to feel things in the first place as easily anymore, even if I want to. 

And now I’m at uni, and I know most of the people I am in class with now I probably won’t see anymore afterwards, either because they’ll go to different places in the world or because I’ll be working in a different field from them (that’s what I get for studying animation and then deciding I wanna be a writer/director after all x’D) and I don’t care. I know I’ll be fine, I know I’ll find new people, life moves on. And that makes me sad. Not that I won’t see my current friends anymore or because they might feel sad (wow I didn’t think of that second one the first time around and added it now that I’m proof-reading, there’s the lack of empathy again I guess), but that I don’t care that I won’t see them anymore. Because I know I should. And I can’t. And I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. 

As for my anger issues and my analysing people I have found ways to use those productively by putting them into my art and stories. I don’t need to be violent or cruel in real life if I can torture my characters and play violence, I don’t need to manipulate people irl if I can use my knowledge of their psychology to tell stories. 

Sociopathic tendencies have the potential for hurting people, mostly other than the person who has them, but one can deal with them and keep their destructive potential under control. You are in charge of your demon and you’re responsible if it gets free and hurts people. 

And we need to talk about this more because that’s something you have to figure out for yourself, therapy can’t help with it in the same way it can with other mental health issues. It can help with some of the symptoms (as an example, I’ve had depression and anxiety, which in the grand scheme of things, were tied to some of the things I described, like my self-destructive tendencies, lack of empathy (and worry/guilt tied to that) and trust issues, and therapy helped with some of that, it helped me with finding coping mechanisms and ways to spot self-destructive behaviour)

People who have these issues aren’t monsters, their brains just sometimes fail to stop them from doing monstrous things, things that a normal person’s brain would recognise as such. We can become self-aware and prevent those things, but it takes effort to do that. 

I can’t believe I related to Logan Paul today. But the thing he said about not letting it get the better of you, and that ‘feelings are good’, hit very close to home. I am terrified of what I might do without realising its effects on others, because the problem with not being a full sociopath is, the feelings hit you eventually, even if they weren’t there in the moment itself. I am terrified of the person I could be. I am terrified of hurting people. I don’t wanna hurt people. 

We need to talk more about this stuff. Good thing is, I don’t mind talking about it, because to me it’s not a big deal, it’s just how life is for me. (I’m p sure that attitude is also a symptom of being on the sociopathic spectrum lol and probably the reason Logan doesn’t seem to mind “admitting” that he is too)

I’m gonna watch the rest of this documentary now xD Thanks for reading this. 

PS: one of the things I get overwhelmed by regularly is how much I appreciate the community I’ve built here on the internet and the support you guys give me no matter what, you’re lovely, and whenever I can, I love you guys (look at me tearing up again goddammit)

#world mental health day #sociopathic tendencies #tw self harm #tw suicidal thoughts #tw depression #the mind of jake paul #logan paul #shane dawson

[skadelol]

More info about me

Someone that just found me wrote a pretty lengthy very kind comment about an incident that happened to me almost a year ago related to art theft, or in my case, full unedited videos being reuploaded without my permission. (It’s on that vid on my channel, hard to miss) I’m extremely touched that ppl still write to me about it.. Even if I pretty much have forgotten after so long. So I wanna share my reply here as well because people have been so kind to me and I really think that I owe everybody more info about myself and hope you get to know me even better over time, and ultimately the person you’re supporting and defending. I haven’t been on social media much before I started learning MMD through KH (mostly AkuRoku stuff). Hope you enjoy the read and make sense out of it, being just my part of the reply and all. Thank you for everything! <3

It's been a long time now since that incident happened. I really have nothing more to add other than what was already said and have moved on from it since, but I really wanted to say that I completely agree with you on every single point you've made and I really can't express in words how thankful and humbled I am for still receiving support about this matter. I really wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for the comment, the kind words and the time you invested in it, it really means a lot and hope more people will read and learn from it!

About my rules for anybody that reads: I'm really not a strict person at all when it comes to my vids, I've mentioned that people do not have to ask me for permission if they wanna use them for montages, music videos, make screenshots, pictures, avatars, any kind of projects or even reaction vids as long as they talk over them and pause if it's a longer vid. I really love it when ppl use my stuff for something and would love to watch what they make, but everything as long as I see their own contribution to it, and most importantly if they credit me. Just name and channel link or the vid used. As long as people have a source to go back to and look at everything, if they wish, it's fine. What I'm really not okay with is not crediting me and cutting out my logo, and of course I am really strongly against reuploading my vids behind my back without making any significant visible edits that really separates them from the original. If they wanna use the full vid or are unsure about something, then I welcome everybody to just ask me about it and I'll be more than happy to reply as soon as I can! ^^ But NEVER after already reuploading some of my most popular funny stuff at the time in their original format, wait for it to get thousands of views and then reach out to me for more under the pretext that a favor was being done to me. Do not categorize people or assume what they think or want. Do not help me this way, I do not need this kind of help and I very much gladly prefer to just grow very very slowly and let people find me over time. The people who are actually interested in my content, and not forcing my stuff onto other people who are not into it, that is not what I'm about.

I'm in no rush to become popular, I just wanna learn and get better. I'm not a YouTuber and I don't currently make any money through YT, but it's hard for some to understand that I'm just a normal person doing and posting stuff just because I love and have a passion for it, and it's fine if people don't like or hate my stuff. Similar to something you said, that's the beauty of diversity and it creates many beautiful things, even if we don't personally agree with some of them. Attention and money always comes second to my passion and if people do wish to support me more through other means, and entirely of their own free will, say for example on Patreon, then I will humbly accept it and try to use it to deliver better and faster content in return. Been doing it for exactly 2 years now for almost nothing but the people's kind words cheering me on, and I don't feel like stopping anytime soon because of that. If I really wanted attention I would have used Sora a lot more often, because let's be honest my most viewed videos on this channel have him, it's a fact and I'm not dumb and ignorant about it. Also I would have shown my face for attention because people say I look just like Axel on my DeviantArt profile pic. Maybe I will someday when I'm ready to talk to the people who support me (I'm not shy but English is not my first language), but if I ever want attention I know how to get it. People need to give me more credit than trying to get attention just by trying to defend myself.. xD I actually can't stay more low than this. If people find me they just find me because they were interested in AkuRoku, KH or MMD, or like you were recommended by someone, or by accident I dunno, or just to hate why not. Anyway back to the rules. When it comes to models and motions however, I am indeed a lot more strict there with reuploading and crediting, but the rules are pretty simple and clear on every single DL page. ^^"

I guess a thing to add at what you've already mentioned is that artists should be careful of people who want to try to take advantage of them, that use manipulation, intimidation and empty threats to corner them 'till they back down and people get away with their work for nothing. Never back down from this kind of people, and I know it's very hard but trying to keep it cool despite whatever is thrown at you always helps with thinking more clearly and coming back with better arguments and replies. Seek other people for help and advice, and even I am more than happy to help and support with what I know and can. As far as how I manage to keep it together... You give me too much credit haha, but truth be told I had to deal with many difficult sometimes life threatening situations (that I really don't like talking about and am not comfortable with), where trying to stay calm was the only option I had. I do not wish that upon anyone ever... Training to become a robotics engineer also helped I guess in communicating with people better.. What people can do however, and what I also did, was study psychology and emotional intelligence in High School because animation has always been my passion and I knew that would come in handy someway or another. And it really does, with everyday life as well. I highly recommend reading some books about that to anyone! :D Especially people interested in animation. I've always been passionate about feelings and emotions in general and hope to show it through what I make (also why I love working on facial animation so much).

Funnily enough I'm better at dealing with hate than praise because that's with what I grew up with. I'm always at a loss of words when people show me kindness, even without knowing me that well. I'm always touched by that and never get used to it, so excuse my awkwardness when I dunno what to reply sometimes and fear of being over repetitive. I don't care if people hate my stuff as long as at least one person enjoys them and as long as I know that I love what I'm doing. I just turn all the hate and sadness into fuel and motivation, if ppl really wanna go at me they'll need to find a better (or worse) way. I never have anything personal with any site or people, nothing personal even with the person who reuploaded my stuff, the only thing that matters to me is my work, the people who care about it and to keep moving forward. But I gotta say, it almost made me think that this game's community might not have been as great as I had first thought at that time, after that incident I mean (known the game for 11 years now but I wasn't invested that much in any gaming communities in general, I just loved playing games and to analyse them and that was about it, until I decided to learn MMD through KH), but I was proven so wrong by so many kind people afterwards and I hope to never let them down or ever think of giving up again. Every game has their bad side of people... But I personally think it's foolish to just ignore them, or worse give in to their hate, but that's just my hotheaded nature I guess. Still in a calm and polite manner! The moment you reply back at their level, it's over. And if someone is serious enough about the things they hate about my work and care to explain, I only see it as positive criticism and would gladly want to know more about it!

Now that all of that is out of the way, haha oh boy. Huge reply, I'm so sorry. XD But I'm not much of a talker and I get a lot of info out at once, also I really appreciate it when ppl write me long comments and try to write more than them as a thank you for their time. <3 About the trying to be mature thing, I'll always be a kid at heart honestly and I'm fine with that. Hope that people will get to know me better over time. Being serious when you have to is what matters and I think you're awesome at it! And I wanna say that I'm really happy and honored that your friend recommended me first... I don't have words to say how much that means to me, but please thank them for me and also thank you for checking out some of my stuff! I'm not that great compared to many MMD'ers, but just like you I keep hoping that I'll get better and keep trying to learn. Please bear with me, haha... ^^" Thank you again for everything, it really means a lot! And I'm sure you'll be way much better than me if you practice even just for a little bit, never give up! :D And sorry for the late reply!

#skadelol #youtube #kh mmd #mikuMikuDance #akuroku #kingom hearts

[dissociation-station]

Ok so I was tagged by @winterfrostdragon to do this ages ago but i am a true procrastinator at heart so i am only now getting around to it. Soz Nicole. 

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

Name: Sally 

Family name:

Gender: *giant shrug*

Star sign: Cancer

Height: 5,7ish 

Age: 18 going on 81

Hogwarts house: Slytherin 

Favorite colour(s): LFC Red 

Time rn: 21:58 when i started, 22:24 when i finished 

Hours of sleep: Not Enough 

Lucky number(s): 2, i have no idea why 

Last thing I googled: Boston Celtics. I was having a basketball moment 

Favorite Fictional Character: I am very partial to Lorelai Gilmore because i basically am her. Also Heather from crazy ex-girlfriend because she is who i aspire to be

Blankets I sleep with: As many as possible, I am cold blooded 

Favourite artists: Like art artists or musical artists? Question too vague i am stressed out by it

Dream trip: All around the world tbh 

Dream job: I have no idea, i kinda just wanna study forever so Academia i guess 

What I’m wearing rn: Pajamas 

Follower count: Let’s be honest, it’s just me screaming into the void 

Posts: 39,313 

What do I post about: A shitmix of stuff but mostly dominated by political rantings and existentialist despair. Also sometimes i get drunk and blog about X files episodes 

Most active followers: @mollyhoopersalterego, @winterfrostdragon, @satansgaybestfriend and @im-a-wayward-angel

When did your blog reach it’s peak: Probably about two seconds after its creation

Why did you make your blog: I have no memory of the moment that prompted me to join this shitshow of a website and yet i am still here 

Do you get asks on a daily basis: nope

Why did you choose your url: @flawesomehipster came up with it because she is just better than me in every way 

Countries you’ve lived in: The U.K.

Favorite fandom: Fandoms are too much energy for me so i generally do not engage 

Languages you speak: Only English but my goal for 2017 is to learn to swear in as many languages as possible 

Favourite film: I have so many but the one that came to mind immediately is Harold and Maude 

Last article you read: I think it was something about the upcoming glass castles movie 

Last thing I bought online: A book called Planet of Slums because i have to do a book review of it for uni and it wasn’t in the closest library to me and i am lazy 

Last person I dreamt of: My sister, we were fighting and i woke up irrationally angry at the real life version of her 

A recurring dream: I dream about being back in high school a lot and also about being lost in buildings i know very well. Analyse that psychology 

Phobias/fears: Spiders, the void- just the standard fears 

How would my friends describe me: Well i asked @flawesomehipster and she said “A little shit” so there we go 

If I had $$$ to spend what would I buy first: Probably large quantities of flannel shirts- there are so many sat in my amazon basket right now 

and I tag: idk, twenty is so many people. I will tag @satansgaybestfriend 20 times because as previously established i am lazy. 

#tag thing #this took way longer than expected #thanks nicole