#i think there are a lot of other factors too but i feel like not all arcs are created equal

[lilies-n-slander]

just my unstructured thoughts on “complicated and sad”

I’m not huge on radiostatic and haven’t thought about the dynamic as much as other people so probably I’ll be retreading common ground

radiostatic friendship had to have broken up for smth more ideological, it would honestly be a bit boring/disappointing if it was just over the unrequited romance aspect (but it was likely a contributing factor)

the fact that vox asked alastor to join his team gives a few clues

I think atp vox still thought positively of alastor while alastor’s opinion of vox was starting to deteriorate. Vox respected alastor enough to *ask* him to join, rather than manipulate or try to force him

if that’s the case, then whatever vox did that alastor hated likely wasn’t malicious (but knowing vox, it was still a bad/harmful thing)

it seems like the kind of situation where alastor showed discomfort and vox refused to change and didn’t understand what he was so mad about

what could vox have done that alastor disliked so much that it ruined a previously good friendship?

using people? Alastor does that

owning souls? Alastor does that

killing people? Alastor does that

associating with and enabling ppl like val? Maybe? It seems like an arbitrary line to draw, altho one of the comics shows alastor killing an attempted rapist

influencing people’s perception of them through media? Alastor does that, but maybe it was the difference of method that he didn’t like (hypnosis vs charisma)

being fake? Alastor does that but is better at it than vox (smiling to hide weakness)

being weak*? (*not just physically) Now we’re talking. Alastor hates weakness, both in other people and himself. He hates when people let their composure slip and tries to exploit any weakness he sees. Maybe it disgusted him to see someone he thought was strong actually prove to be weak, insecure, and pathetic

a combination of the last three seems the most plausible to me (especially considering what things alastor disses vox for in stayed gone), but I’m still struggling to come up with something that has the right amount of “oomph” to it

I’m curious what alastor initially liked about vox in the first place?

did he only like him bc he thought vox was stronger than he actually was?

has vox just changed so much over the years that the vox alastor formed a friendship with was basically a different person? That would make me curious about what sparked that change in vox—was it a particular incident or gradual corruption?

does alastor hate modernity because of vox or does he hate vox because of his modernity?

leaning twds the former, the way alastor speaks abt tech has a personal tinge to it

most of vox’s hostility twds alastor is prob due to what alastor did as rejection

supported by vox not having much variety of his insults in stayed gone

yes he’s pathetic and might be salty that he doesn’t return his feelings, but I feel like that’s not the whole explanation

does “I thought he was gone *for good* too” imply that alastor has previously disappeared or been shooed away by the vees and came back soon after?

“he owes us a lot more than money” + “things have changed a lot since he left town… …I gotta send a message of who’s really in charge of things now” = before he disappeared, alastor was previously in control, possibly by sabotaging the vees and overthrowing them?

I didn’t rlly mention “still pissed he almost beat you that time?” bc that had to have been after the fallout, so not as much to dig into there (this isn’t to say that I don’t desperately want a flashback of it lol)

hmmmmmmmnfgh… so many questions

I really hope their backstory has already been mostly planned out, bc it seems like something that would go poorly if you just made it up on the fly

#hazbin hotel #vox #alastor #onewaybroadcast #.txt #meta

[shopcat]

i was goinggg to say something way longer but if all it takes is a pretty surface level criticism of you as a fandom and not even a personal attack or something for you to send someone (a palestinian no less) an ask like this then maybe they have a point

i do still think you can care about multiple things at once obv but when the sustained efforts of an online campaign to get people to listen bear a resemblance superficially, frustration and anger is a normal response to that ... 😭 and getting feelings hurt about it isn't going to make those people just be like "Oh never mind you guys are cool" or something esp if you keep proving you CAN'T be cool about it ... you can obviously care about palestine (and any other global issue) and talk about it and take actionable steps to further this and be active about it AND want to get a show renewed or whatever but that's not really the point. (some) people are getting to a unhealthy level of obsession about this renewal and people critiquing that in the wake of the very well-known criticism already surrounding the show is Not the end of the world for you, and that is what this is. and it is not a complex scenario it's pretty 1 + 1. like I'VE been getting more frustrated about the severity of seeing the word renewal everywhere since the beginning and i think people (largely PALESTINIANS THEMSELVES...) saying this have a point.

#🐾 #to clarify that ask was sent to someone else not me #this is all kind of driving me crazy just seeing the way everyone [in the fandom] are talking about it #the way it's all wrapped up together makes it kind of hard to see clearly but it's like #idrc if you want a renewal it's not that big a deal to me it's not any A Deal to me actually. like do what u want about it too it's not #hurting anyone. commenting on hbo max's socials and petitions and emails and stuff is like... fine #it's sustained but it's localised and focused #the other clear factor here obviously is that while a lot of people don't think TW is a zionist obviously some people do #and that's going to reflect on you (and us) whether you like it or not #and like yeah sure the guz khan stuff is most likely misinfo but the anger about it is understandable and NECESSARY #and saying all that like YEAH taika might not be a zionist but con o'n*ill sure fucking is #and i dunno. this is just all what i mean #people are going to talk to you in a way that you will interpret as an attack and sure sometimes it will be. but it's because these are #serious issues. i know ppl in the fandom feel like they have this talk every other day but why would anyone on the outside see that ? #and if they're not seeing that you have to accept that you need to be able to respond in a non-condescending and actually informative way #and don't just get personally hurt over what you perceive as an attack on you or your values or morals #as long as you do stand for a free palestine and condemn zionism and don't say stupid shit there shouldn't BE a problem i don't know #* i also understand for the few ofmd muts i do have that everyone's been getting asks and stuff over the past few days and i don't mean #any of that. though the general mindset of those people applies #sort of. some people are definitely just being reactionary and i have seen a lot of weird shit obv. also this isn't at any of you

[aeide-thea]

i wish there were more images of men photographed the way people so often photograph women, or women photograph themselves—soft, sensual, romantic, highlighting and enjoying underappreciated parts of their bodies in a way that felt like a lingering, loving, holistic journey and wasn't just an artless zoom-in on muscles or cock or whatever

#this isn't even that well-articulated but. idk. wish there were more space for men to be and feel pretty and luxuriate in that #probably there are some spaces where this is happening and i'm just not in them #just feels like. so much of the way we (or like. i guess i mean cishet america) conceptualize men is so‚ idk‚ utilitarian #like i guess there's the sort of quasi-hellenistic kouros sort of thing but that isn't exactly what i mean #not that i don't like it but. idk. what if the fuzzy and fleshy got lingeringly rosily romanticized too #although to some extent that's femme-inizing and like. i do want men to be able to be femme #but also i wish there were like. a model for the kind of aesthetic appreciation of looks femmes get‚ but for non-femmes #like. i used to get compliments when i presented femme and now i don't. even though i'm still thinking about aesthetics #and like. there are a lot of other factors there. but in general it's like. a particular kind of presentation that elicits rapturous praise #i don't know. maybe fundamentally certain things have to go together and certain things can't. i don't want to accept that though. #anyway this is a little about me but mostly abt wanting men to have access to a wider range of expression and affirmation #both bc i think they deserve it and bc i think it would be sexy‚ lol #anyway.

[dawnstarranger]

Listen everyone has their own metric for what good writing is and isn’t but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t get me down a little to see one of my faves dragged through the mud by both haters and fans alike on a pretty much weekly basis

#yes this is about Salvatore #I don’t mean this to say you can’t dislike or hate his work because that’s valid too #I just mean that he’s become one of those writers where it’s okay and trendy to shit on him and he’s popular enough that it’s excused #I feel like there’s a lot of irl fans who crap on him because they inherently don’t like the over-the-top rule-of-cool style that is FR #and it’s okay to not be into that side of fantasy #but you aren’t the superior reader because you love GRRM-esque super serious grim dark content #also I haven’t personally met a long running series where I loved every single book or plot point #it’s pretty normal when you look at a 40 book series to find that some arcs/books are a bit better than others #and I feel like people jump on certain books and take it as ‘see? any talent he ever had has gone down the drain’ #like my dude it’s okay if you didn’t love a few of the books just skip and move on #add to that he’s a prolific writer in general and I’m sure some books got more time and effort from him than others #it’s fine and normal and not a sign that he’s the worse ever ffs #also there’s a part of me that doesn’t like comparing authors working in shared worlds to authors writing totally independently #because some plot points are set by the publisher before pen ever hits the paper #and again you don’t have to think Salvatore or anyone is a good writer #but I always factor it in when I see plots that seem to come out of nowhere and the like #anyways that’s my rant lmao #constructive criticism of any writer is fine and I’m not knocking that before anyone gets their knickers twisted

[henrybelly]

i wonder if part of the seeming-illiteracy i complain about when it comes to how fans understand many warriors characters is a product of how the series is compartmentalized?

people form an opinion on a character's actions in one arc, then they form an opinion of how they behave in another arc, and then they try to combine these two opinions -- and so if in the first arc, the fan's opinion is negative, then in the second, the character makes amends and grows, and the fan forms a positive opinion, the result isn't "this character did bad things and then grew as a person" it's "this character has done some good things and some bad things and should continue to be held accountable for all of the bad things"

a great deal of it is also the mindset that "sin"/any mistakes fudamentally stains you as a person, so no matter how much you repent or change, you are still a bad person -- and also that "bad thoughts" are, if not as condemnable as "bad actions", still something the character must be persecuted for and atone over. notice how these are both christian frameworks of wrongdoing.

maybe because we go back and forth so often in the timeline, we end up with this character-development-soup where any action a character took in the 4th arc is still just as relevant to who they are as the action they took in the 6th arc. it's hard to discuss "ivypool" when i don't even know if the people i'm talking to have read avos, tigerheart's shadow, the broken code, AND the Thunder excerpt, or if we're arguing over OOTS ivypool and one post they read on tumblr

an example of this timeline-soup fallibility in my own analysis is how i think about Blossomfall's age in comparison to Thornclaw's. i think of OOTS as "my era" because it's the series that was coming out when i got into the books as a kid. So, Blossomfall in my imagination is almost always OOTS Blossomfall.

Therefore, when I try to reconcile "blossomfall and thornclaw are a couple" with the OOTS Blossomfall that lives in my brain, alarm bells go off. It's hard to factor in the timeskip between OOTS and AVOS because i'm still subconsciously living in OOTS.

anyway, it's just something to think about

#wc meta #this is like. Meta meta. i'm thinking about How we think about the characters as a fanbase #and how the way the series is organized might contribute to that #i think there are a lot of other factors too but i feel like not all arcs are created equal #some hold more weight in your imagination #so the events and characters kinda override other arcs' contents #blossomthorn's age gap still makes me uncomfortable because she's barely older than his grandnieces #she's also completely a grown up by AVOS so there's nothing actually on-paper Wrong with them getting together #it's just a sticky gray area of getting together with someone who has been well into adulthood before you were even born #nevermind that he's old enough to be her dad. he's old enough to be her grandfather #he's a few months younger than her father and she's closer in age to her kits than she is to him #etc etc etc #it doesn't make it de facto unhealthy or inappropriate. it's just. a bit uncomfortable

[lloydfrontera]

mmgghh imagine julian having a zoe murphy from deh style breakdown as he tries to reconcile the brother he remembers, the one that abused him for years and years on end, that never brought him anything but pain, that would beat him up for the slightest provocation, with the one that meets him at the academy, the one that saved a city, the one that is working relentlessly to save their family from ruin, the one that defends him from bullies and tells him it was never his fault that others harassed him

just. julian getting to express the rage and confusion and conflicted emotions that would come with the person that abused him for years changing completely out of nowhere and turning into the older brother he'd always wanted.

so don't tell me i didn't have it right don't tell me it wasn't black and white after all you put me through don't say it wasn't true that you were not the monster that i knew

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #julian frontera #if i think too hard about the fact that julian forgave his abusive older brother because of the actions of a completely different person #and we never got to see the fall out of him realizing the person he forgave never actually made amends with him #and all his feelings of rage and disgust were completely valid and he never had any reason for feeling guilty about hating his brother #because the person that he grew to care for and protected him was a completely different one. i do start going a little feral not gonna lie #i just!! don't like that julian was made to feel like he was in the wrong for feeling like he was the one that had it hardest!! #cause he did!! he fucking did!!! #this kid was abused physically and verbally since childhood by his older brother. basically ran from home the moment he was legally allowed #to and then also got harassed and humiliated by his classmates at school while all the authorities looked the other way #had it not been for suho transmigrating into lloyd's body (which is an external factor and should not be taken into account) #julian would by all means be allowed to say he had it the roughest of the family!!! #but because lloyd meddled (which is. to be fair. not a bad thing) julian was made to feel like he was being whiny #for thinking he had it rough while his older brother worked his ass off to save their family #i know no one cares about this but i do!!! i have so many feelings about julian!! he deserved better!! i needed more content about him!! #we never even got a scene with him being told that the brother he grew to love and want to make proud was not the brother that abused him #what's the point of it all 😭

[madigoround]

✌🏻

#so for my job I have to go to a lot of crime scenes and talk with witnesses blah blah blah a lot of the time it’s in an unsafe area and I #I always try to do my job in a safe way managing the different factors like timing but I always get the work done #so much so that last week I was asked to go canvas an area I had already been to to canvas five other times for a murder and had seen drug #deals and robbery and fights and all that go on while I was there #and I brought up that it wasn’t a good time for us to be there we weren’t safe at that time and I was told I needed to suck it up and do #what was needed for the case #flash forward to a few minutes ago my supervisor came to talk to me about another case #for a murder that I had previously talked about being upset about because I had walked by the place it happened 20 minutes before the murder #and was told that it doesn’t bother anyone else and basically to suck it up #so for this case the attorney had gone to my supervisor and told him that she thinks I’m ineffective at my job and she believes I’m afraid #to go out on the scene for investigative work because I’m a white girl #and my supervisor came to tell me that he���s going to be working with me on my cases for the time being to go out into the field and locate #witnesses and so on to show her that it doesn’t bother me and I’m not afraid #which like honestly all around this is fucking ridiculous I have done this job for nearly two years I have gone to the #site of multiple murders I have gone to witnesses addresses #I have been inside victims homes to talk with them all of this all alone #and honestly that attorney is a fucking bitch who has humiliated me for having feelings about cases before so it’s infuriating but hardly #surprising but the fact that my supervisor thought this was a legit enough concern to now go with me on my cases and go through all the #steps I’ve done and everything I just feel so disrespected and not valued #last week I took last minute leave because the cases were bothering me too much and everyone was telling me I needed to get over it and it #doesn’t bother them which like sorry but I feel like having to see someone’s brains on the pavement is upsetting #and it feels like I’m being edged out because I have human feelings about our cases #even though I have done this work and done it well for two years #I’m just really sad and angry about it

[usareiis]

Anyway good morning.

#unpacking these four chapters of breakup that happened almost twenty years ago in several different formats #starving for madam red content especially ik she's been dead (as dead as anyone on black butler has ever been) forever but like. #i don't understand how so much of this comment section got out of this that madam red just wanted to be ~normal~ #when a lot of her deal and ciel's is that she physically can't/wasn't ever going to be and i genuinely think ciel realized these things... #...about himself a long time before madam red did and that's why she struggles with a lot of it so much. bc she held onto the idea she... #....COULD be ~normal ~ a lot longer than ciel ever did for himself #i think that factors for a lot of grell's side of the breakup too #grell also realized that about herself early on AND she could tell that about madam red the minute she saw her #like everyone dying wasn't the cause madam red couldn't be normal it was just more evidence of it #and i think it might have hurt grell's feelings that madam red was still holding on to what was never going to be when for grell they... #...were perfect for each other in every way and madam red backing out of the killing meant she was backing out on her too #it says soooo much that grell found madam red at her worst and she liked that and everything that madam red thought people looked down on... #....her for grell just revels in #also i wish redacted would die again <3 hate his guts the whole situation is so sinister regardless of how doomed madam red is #kuroshitsuji #my kuro posts #redcliff #madam red #Youtube

[theultracharmingladynoire]

This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.

And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)

But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)

I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)

And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)

And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess

#N rambles #I feel like I am just repeating things at this point #I've been trying to hold back a lot from venting about this on the main because it just plainly seems like a very trivial thing to be this #upset about #But after weeks of ranting in tags I just feel I really HAVE to say this because it is actually really making me sad #Like. I thought maybe after exams I wouldn't be upset? And I was so excited to do a lot more things for the show #I was so excited and looking forward to this #Especially since I have TOO much of free time now so I also am prone to overthinking in such a situation #And I did and this just sucks and I am fed up with just overthinking and keeping all of this to myself and getting too upset #so. yeah. I still feel very bad but I also think it's probably due to a lot. Of other factors #and this one is not helping #And for one thing: I am actually really nervous about posting this because this seems to be such a dividing topic #And by no means am I saying people shouldn't have been upset - but...yeah #I just. Don't know. I really do wish I could find more people who are active and who liked the finale?? I really want to talk about #The character arcs and themes and ramble about them but there's no one to. talk about it to positively??? #I also want to rewatch the show. It would actually just solve this problem but #I am low-key scared??? I don't think this would be a right time to do it because I am just really confused about this whole issue and it #Will definitely reflect in forming my own opinions and I don't want that #like at this point I just want to discuss about the finale with people who also didn't feel it was too off or ooc or something #And just tried to intrepret it in good faith #Again I don't really care about people disliking it obviously #It's just that*I* wish I could find more people who liked it #(sorry for the weird phrasing in this whole post I am trying to express what I feel but idk how to do it exactly) #Also I used the slashes because I don't want this to turn up on search sorry

[mrfoox]

I'll probably never know if I actually don't want kids or if I'm just too scared about passing on bad genes and have them suffer and that's sad

#miranda talking shit #Idk i cant ever seperate it bc if i ever think id like to be a parent at some point i immediately think #About how big the chances are of me passing on my deppression/anxiety. Like i have asd and add and i think they cause a lot of problems #I still thinl my major anxiety and depression issues is my biggest concern. And the fact my mother have family history of bpd and #Schizofrenia and the unknown factor of my dads dad family history like mmm... #Bc i kinda wish i wasnt born in this world bc of my mental problems making it so hard. I dont think id ever forgive myself if #I had an child which had the same view as me bc of mental illness. Idk how high the chances are to pass on stuff like this #But like since i have so much to 'choose' from i feel like its at least 20%. And thats just with my gene pool #If the other parent also have mental health problems that would go up... #Yeah in my mid 20s and many of the girls in my age group is or have gotten kids and im like yea #Part of me would like to be a mom. Like id love the shit out of the kid and try to be the best parent i can #But i can never escape the real possibility of bringing a child into the world with same or similar mental issues i have #Im a guilt driven person and like that idea by itself makes me want to jump off a cliff lmao #So im uh... Maybe i want kids but i probably wont go through with it bc im terrified of the possilites #Idk how commkn it is to think aboht this. Any guy friend i have either really want kids or are like 'well yeah getting a wife and some kids #Is the plan i guess' and girl friends its either i dont want kids i hate them or the same 'yeah an husband and some kids is the plan' #If i ever did have a kid ill have to be with the most caring and calm guy lol. Otherwise id be too scared and deppressed about the #The idea of the worst happening. Its 3 am no idk why this is tonights subject but it is apparently

[foxgirlmoth]

My alarms were ringing while watching *that* Amy Cuddy video during a class today and I gotta say I might be fully right thinking that. Quick searches show she was taking a stance with someone claiming being trans is harmful (not surprising when a chunk of the talk is saying that Testosterone makes you aggressive/more forward, a major talking point people try to use against trans women and poc and also calling it the dominant hormone) and also someone mimicked her experiment with a lot more people and it seems that power poses didn't do anything. It also seemed like she was trying to evoke some inspiration porn (while talking about IQ, another thing I'm always wary about) and made no mention of what helped her get through college and saying it was just power poses. Did you get help going through college??? You're still a white cishet woman like. I can 100% seeing you having no problems paying for school and not having to work during that education. People doing these kinds of things recognize that privilege exists please.

#Not to mention all the ways being neurodiverse can change so so much about how people feel and express themselves #Sorry I don't like having my chest splayed out a lot it also makes my chronic pain worse!! Thats why I slouch a little so the weight is #off of my chest and not stabbing into my inflammation. #There are so many factors and it feels like her experiment was with like. 10 people. 9 of which were white :/ #And most likely attending harvard or whatever school she said she went to. #The other person that she was defending herself with apparently was writing a piece on how like. #Being transracial and being transgender is the same thing which like. #I think you can kinda see why. That isn't great #Tuvel I think was the other person's name. #And apparently a ton of queer people and poc were very very angry about all this when it first came out #with both of the two #Ranting about class stuff dw about me. #I know this is like. A first year communications class and maybe I'm looking at things too deep but like. Damn #Also I'm not trying to downplay the fact she apparently lost some knowledge from being in a car accident. that sucks. Trauma is never good.

[gazelessmenagerie]

Passivity is nothing but a curse.                             Lurking beneath the skin, quelling what should be a blistering inferno into a state of quiet docility cooling over the molten might within. It couldn’t be explained why certain periods of time reduced him towards a temperance, hardly caring for even tormenting the local fauna or threatening foolish little worms wandering into his territory.

It simply didn’t appeal to him..

                                                                and he could never understand why.

Why?               Why.

Laying over the nest of pelts and blankets, he hadn’t chosen to rise from his seclusion in the least all day. Occasional hunger coaxed him enough to at least reach over towards one of the meager storages of food gathered from both hunting and pillaging but little more than nibbles partook before he put it back and went back to laying on his side. In short.. he only wanted to be lazy and unmoving.. to remain in the warmth of his bed and wait this curse out.

#|| Tag: Gazing over the Abyss of Stars { Broly } #( bogged down with hw but lafnlsjg ) #( that part of the time for him i guess. would explain why he just doesn't want to do much than lay around. ) #( which is funny. some weeks he'd be insatiable and want to either fight or fuck a lot but other times just be lazy and /maybe/ ) #( a little submissive. ) #( just conflicting natures having their turn. i mean there's other factors in it too but they dont feel the be the /source/ today it feels?? #( doesn't mean he doesn't hate it to high heaven and back bc its not Brutal Carnage / Aggression like he thinks he should be 24/7)

[amphiptere]

OK as much as I will forever adore really long books, I have yet to read one over 600 pages that couldn’t benefit from some significant editing down.

#mine #THIS DOES NOT COUNT ORDER OF THE PHOENIX OR WINTER BY MARISSA MEYER #order of the phoenix is perfect and winter is not but it's not that it's too long so much as it doesn't focus enough on the right things #ok winter did need a bit of editing down but also more content added to flesh out winter and jacin's relationship #and the setting didn't hook me enough i think that's an important factor in my enjoyment of a book #it was just a generally unpleasant setting #compared to the others in the series which were interesting and felt warm and cool to learn about #luna was cool to learn about sure but the novelty wore off quickly and it was just barren and uninviting #250 pages into cot now and i feel like it's not really even started #stuff's happened but a whole lot of nothing much has also happened and that needed to be cut down #plus a few more fight scenes added. we've had one. ONE. #tldr long books for life but the really long ones do tend to ramble and they should not do that #short books can ramble too but at least they ramble for fewer pages #some of the most boring books i've read were under 300 pages #(@ silas marner) #books

[oatbugs]

update on gf situation btw . for those who r curious or sent asks etc

#v soon after i asked for advice i talked to her and asked her why she doesnt draw anymore n abt other stuff etc etc #she basically said she doesnt feel at all content rn but she will start again once she feels better . which is so understandable #and im also glad to hear she still does love what she loved etc...just several factors in her life are making her . discontent atm #one of them (i think a big one maybe) is me being gone for like a month . we stayed w each other a lot b4 this #so the wait has been Agonising for both of us and i just didnt realise how much she missed me . which is like . idk . shes so sweet i love #her so much and while im sad my absence is contributing to her current situation im like. woah...there is someone who misses me so much.wow #i also need to like tripple clarify bc my post asking for advice was vague and i feel like it was misinterpreted a lot : #my gf is not confused abt what she wants to do + i am not using romantic relationships as a career progression device + i do in fact have #friends and a life outside academia and am aware that i too could just as easily become disconent w my work #life etc or even lose all my passion for whatever reason + i do not in fact . only love my gf for her art. i love her for everything she is #which includes smn who is very passionate abt art which is why i was concerned etc etc . anyway #we talked abt it and i now understand things more and also will hold her through it until she feels more content again #and then ill keep holding her through everything good and bad for as long as i can :) i love her sosososososo much #and also i miss her so much and if i dont see her soon ill Perish and Die . anyway

[benevolentslut]

okay so big vent in the tags. don't mind me, just had to get these thoughts out.

i am open to thoughts and/or advice from mutuals

#help im crushing too hard on this girl #we dated once before but it wasn't a great relationship because both of us had a whole heap of unresolved trauma that came out in #our actions #so because of that im scared to try anything again #we're both so much better than we were before and both of us have made huge strides recently so it got me thinking about it again #and now i can't stop thinking about it 💀 #not to mention she is currently in a relationship already #i get the feeling they *might* be open to at least trialling polyamory #but it definitely adds an extra factor of #and so yeah im scared to bring it up cuz if they're not open to that then #even tho it'd be perfectly understandable it would still hurt a lot to hear #and then yeah even if they were im worried like #what if we act out again or hurt each other again #i couldn't bear ruining our friendship #but ahhhhhhhh #every time im near her life just feels okay again #every time we touch at all i can still feel it hours after it's passed #we went roller skating today and the way she offered me her hand to help me up whenever i fell over i just aaaaaaa #and she's been so supportive to me as im starting to process the fact that *both* my parents have been emotionally abusing me my whole life #and not just my dad #and my mum is continuing to do it #and then this girl was so supportive too when we went to bras n things today #i was really nervous and dysphoric going in there and she was so helpful to get me willing to talk to the person there #and to help me through everything #like its obvious that we have such a strong bond #forged that over the last 7 years #but holy shit i don't want to ruin things #but ohmygod i cant just ignore the way i feel either though can i #fuck im down bad huh #shoutout to anyone who read through all this

[yeleltaan]

//Hello everyone! Alright, here’s an update on things:

I’ve got one more exam to do before I’m done. The good news is that I’ve got plenty time to prepare it, and I’ve decided I’m not going to wait until then to do the things I want to do. That being said, I know it’s going to take me a little while to truly pick up the pace here and I’d like to give a little priority to adopting some healthy habits and improving my lifestyle.

There’s one thing I wanted to address though. I realize that I haven’t really engaged much with the dash and most blogs, both the newcomers and the returning faces (which, by the way, I’m very glad to see back- seriously, it’s lovely to see characters embark on new stories when they seemed to have reached a conclusion, and watching writers come back to the fandom after some time away).

Truth is, I’ve found the dash overwhelming lately. This comes partially from me being too busy to engage, and therefore experiencing something like FOMO because I can’t quite keep up with stuff and be a part of it. The Soulsborne RP community is either getting bigger or becoming more visible to me, and that’s great, but it does also present a challenge to me because if I’m engaged in your character and/or blog, I want to see what you do! I want to see all these things you’ve put effort into, I want to give you feedback, send an ask here and there, have my muse interact with yours!

If I give your post a like, I haven’t just looked at it. If it’s a drabble/headcanon/thread, I’ve read it and re-read it to get a good understanding of it and try to find whatever clues or references you’ve put in there. Perhaps it’d be better for me and the other mun if I gave likes more liberally, but I don’t know, it’s important to me that if I give your post a like, I’ve genuinely had a moment where I’ve stopped and paid attention to nothing but that exact post.

Anyways, where I’m getting with this is that I do feel rather bad that I haven’t quite been able to... welcome? you with the attention and energy I would have liked to have given you. I hope that despite the delay with which I approach you or continue our interactions, we can make up for lost time later.

I’m unsure how I’m going to handle this. I don’t intend to unfollow anyone because of this, as my issue isn’t a lack of interest but my difficulty displaying it and putting it into practice. I do think I’m going to keep a fairly passive attitude (for now) when it comes to seeking new RP partners though, because I cannot comfortably seek and approach some of the blogs I’ve seen mutuals interact with when I’m already struggling to give my time to said mutuals. I’ll still be happy to plot and write interactions with blogs that approach me though.

Anyways, thank you for your patience once more and hopefully it won’t take long for you to see me more here. May things go well for you!

#posting this at late hours (for me!) because I am driven by impulse #ooc #I'm also admittedly hesitant to start liking posts sometimes... it's silly but when I haven't really engaged with someone for a long time #it feels odd to break the ice with certain things. It's probably not worth it to think that way and I am working towards fixing that #working towards feeling less anxious about the simple stuff. Because we all need some feedback and interest from people to keep going #and feel appreciated #and I don't like that this flaw of mine gets in the way of me showing my appreciation to the things you put hard work into #nothing prompted this btw- it's just that I've been thinking about this a lot last year #and with the resurgence that came with Elden Ring. I hope people don't interpret my quietness like there's some 'bad blood' going on #I don't want to like... limit myself to one spot in the fandom either #I think that's one of the biggest factors to how I initially lost my drive to write Ornstein: got too comfortable in one spot of the fandom #so when most of those people started to leave or become inactive I had a really rough time approaching the others #even though I genuinely had nothing against any of them. I don't want that to happen here and I want to be engaged in the community #'Croc don't use the tags of your ooc post to add 50% of the information' challenge when #jokes aside. I hope you're all doing alright. Looking forward to making these posts less necessary! ^^ #also I hope the 'this is how I treat likes' part doesn't come off as pretentious. I only want to give a little perspective and clarify that