#i would like to get financial support from someone who isnt my boyfriend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wendynerdwrites · 7 years

Note

Im glad that u also like archer. Ive been rewatching it (im on s2) and i feel guilty as a feminist for liking it so much :( i know a lot of the jokes are supposed to be ironic but i still feel bad for laughing, and my bf has made comments abt "how can u laugh at that as a feminist" (he isnt one, hes using it as a gotcha). How do u feel about this? Any advice for separating myself from toxic fandom to just be able to enjoy something problematic? Love ur blog btw happy friday 💋💋

Thanks, and don’t worry, anon: You’re not a bad feminist.

It’s funny you ask this, but I used to have an entire essay series on this exact topic, and on Archer, particularly!

My philosophy is: don’t ignore the problematic, examine it. Use it as a springboard for analysis so you can learn more about the issue conveyed. Use your problematic responsibly! Because, let’s be honest, there ARE no unproblematic pieces of media. So just use it to educate yourself instead. For instance: my love of West Side Story (starring Natalie Wood as the Puerto Rican Maria) got me to learn more about the issues of white-washing.

Being a feminist is not about being perfect, it’s about learning and being open to examination and learning. Use your fandom for good!

Laughter is the balm for the soul. And listening to your boyfriend telling you how to be a feminist… less so. Kind of the opposite.

My old articles are lost, for the most part, but under the cut, I’ve pasted them for reference and included a great video on satire that also very easily applies to this discussion (just substitute feminism with the Holocaust)

Our Faves Are Problematic (And So Can You!)

Nothing and no one is perfect, so isnt it about time we learn how to call out the things we love?

We are all familiar with guilty pleasures: those things we like in spite of ourselves, that we are ashamed to admit we enjoy. Usually the term is applied to something we enjoy despite a perceived “lameness”, or because we’re not the right demographic for something. For instance, I still have a deep, abiding affection for Sailor Moon: that colorful, stock-footage-laced Japanese phenomenon that still gets me shouting “MOON PRISM POWER!” when I’m in the right mood. Yes, childhood is over, and yes, the show’s American dub did give me incest panic as a child, but I can’t help but love it.

But then there is the more difficult brand of guilty pleasures guilty pleasures that involve actual guilt instead of “mild embarrassment”. I’m talking about problematic faves the stuff that we love despite it containing clearly objectionable material.

willing18

(Image copyright Vertigo Comics)

…This is a panel from Bill Willingham’s Fables. The character there is Bigby Wolf, one of the main (anti) heroes of the story and the character the writer identifies with most. The person Bigby is waxing poetically on pro-Zionism to is someone literally called “The Adversary”.

Fables also happens to be one of my favorite comic book series on the planet.

Safe to say the issues surrounding Israel, Palestine, and the Middle East are a bit more complicated than that. And my own feelings on the matter are far more complicated. But this glorification of Israeli military policy is… um… in very tame terms… uncomfortable. After reading this, I resolved to only check Fables out of the library: a way for me to enjoy these comics in a legal way without financially supporting these ideas, however indirectly.

There are other problems with Fables: a lack of ethnic diversity, some murky racial and class commentary, and instances of some objectionable tropes, but there is a lot to recommend of these books as well. The stories are fantastic, the art brilliant, the characters well-fleshed out, and there is a definite progressive take on issues like gender and sexuality. But as much as I love this series, there is no getting around the fact that these stories have issues.

No excuses.

But it’s not just Fables that has disappointed me in the past. I am now and forever a Trekker, yet despite how horribly sexist episodes like “The Turnabout Intruder” are, or the very troubling anti-Semitic coding of the Ferengi. The Star Wars prequels famously had racist caricatures with the Trade Federation and the infamous Jar Jar Binks.

In the world of media, there’s no shortage of problematic content. From the novels of Robert Heinlein containing pro-fascist commentary, to HBO’s Game of Thrones misogynistic adaptation decisions, there’s nothing that is quite free of some messed up messages, subtle and blatant alike.

Now, when we talk about such media, we don’t merely mean triggering factors (i.e. the presentation, portrayal, or discussion of potentially traumatizing issues like domestic abuse, racism, hate crimes, substance abuse, or sexual assault), but rather how these matters are portrayed. A piece of media, such as Marvel and Netflix’s excellent Jessica Jones series, can portray certain issues (such as sexual assault, domestic violence, and mental illness) in a respectful, progressive, and sensitive light. Thus, while the content of the show can be triggering, the skill with which they portray these matters keeps it from being problematic.

In contrast, something like Game of Thrones, which portrays sexual assault in a thoroughly insensitive, exploitative, and misogynistic manner, is highly problematic.

Unfortunately, progress has been a slow-moving process, with many issues such as race, gender, sexual identity, mental illness, substance abuse, and violence only being examined in a more nuanced way fairly recently. As a result, almost all media is problematic in one way or another. Especially since even today, the majority of executives crafting, publishing, and greenlighting books, shows, comics, movies, and other forms of media are in fact cisgendered, heterosexual white men.

So what do we do?

Good news: here at Fandom Following, we don’t believe in dropping something you like just because it’s problematic. Why?

Because knowing, examining, and yes, even appreciating problematic content can be incredibly important. While certain content can be damaging, it can also teach us a great deal. Not only about current issues, but also about how to go about discussing these matters, and constructing narratives in general.

The racial issues in things like Star Wars and Star Trek can teach us much about how coding works, and how to avoid reinforcing stereotypes. The exploitation of women and rape on Game of Thrones can open up a dialogue of how to portray these things properly and improperly.

There are three tricks to enjoying problematic media: 1) Recognizing that there is an issue, 2) Being ready for a dialogue, and 3) Not ignoring or silencing the complaints about said issues.

Well, we here at Fandom Following have decided to tackle this issue head on with a series called “Our Faves Are Problematic (And So Can You!)”, where we will be exploring specific media franchises, creators, and works and, specifically, the problematic content they contain. In this series, we’ll be examining the issues, talking about why they’re important, discussing what this piece of media did wrong, how to approach the issue in a more progressive way, and the best ways to go about discussing the issue itself. Various writers will be contributing to this project, and we’re excited to present this feature to you!

So let’s get down and dirty, people. We all have our problematic faves. Let’s talk about them.

My Face is Problematic: Archer

Honestly, doing a post like this on Archer, a show which is deliberate in its dark humor, is a bit hard for me. Not because I like the show, but because I think there’s true validity in the argument that humor and narratives about really messed up, problematic stuff has its place. The show exists to be as outlandish and absurd as possible. The extremes and the awfulness of the characters’ personalities and their actions is the point.

I VUZ BORN IN DUSSELDORF AND THAT IS VY THEY CALL ME ROLF!

Joking about awful things, awful circumstances, and awful people is hardly new ground for comedy to cover, nor does it send a poor message, necessarily. Mel Brooks wrote a movie in which one of the characters was a Nazi, who wrote an overblown pro-Nazi musical produced by men deliberately trying to make a flop. Springtime For Hitler, as it exists in our universe, is not problematic. The Nazis are the butt of the joke, in which any pro-Nazi sentiment can only function if it is wildly fabricated and over-the-top, and even then, it will still be taken for satire. Because Nazis are utterly terrible, they built their movement on total bullshit that they dressed up in shiny boots and Hugo Boss uniforms and German exceptionalism and “glory”. This song-and-dance number about “Don’t be stupid, be a smartie, come and join the Nazi party” only ever deserves to be a joke, as the Jew who wrote it can tell you. Nazis fucking suck and it’s hilarious that anyone would ever suggest otherwise.

There’s justice in reducing Nazis to self-parody, and doubling down on that by making a joke about them being reduced to self-parody. Especially when said self-parody and depiction of it is crafted by the very people Hitler tried to destroy. No one enjoys or masters mocking Nazis like the Jews. Plain and simple.

Joking about awful things and how terrible they are can be a good way to process things and not allow them to hurt you anymore. Comedy, at its core, is a defense mechanism against horror and pain. There’s a reason slapstick is a classic subgenre of comedy that people have built entire careers around. Laugh at terror and pain to make it go away. Unfortunately, some of the things we manage to find humor in can really make you wonder if were all just terrible and have no limits.

Angela’s Ashes is a memoir by Frank McCourt about his impoverished, abusive, dangerous childhood in Ireland. In it, he chronicles his own starvation, life-threatening illness, abuse, and suffering at the hands of alcoholism and brutality from adult authority figures. He was a child laborer who went days without food while his father drank away the family’s money and abused the rest of the family, who often came down with horrifying illnesses as a result of the terrible conditions he lived in, and spent his formative years suffering along with all the people he loved. Three of his infant siblings die within the space of a chapter. We get a glimpse of the time when his father, overjoyed at the birth of his daughter, finds the will to stop drinking, stop mistreating his family, go to work, provide for his family, and just generally be a better person so that his children don’t have to suffer. For a short period, the McCourts have food, heat, and happiness. Then the baby promptly dies and Frank’s father is back in the pubs, once again squandering any pay he manages to acquire on alcohol and returning home at three am to scream at and beat his wife while his remaining children try to cover their ears and sleep on the cold ground.

Along with being praised for it being a both an unflinchingly brutal depiction of poverty and a testament to the triumph of the human spirit, the book is also praised for its humor.

Remember: Angela’s Ashes is a true story written by the very man who suffered through all of these horrible things. And it’s considered a pretty funny book. And the author who, once again, is the person who actually suffered all of these horrible things, actually did intentionally try to make people laugh as they read about that time he was in the hospital with Typhoid Fever and enjoyed it because it was the first time he’d been in a place where he was fed regularly and got to sleep in a warm bed.

Hilarious.

That being said, there’s satire and dark humor, and there’s just gratuitous, shock-jock bullshit. There are jokes that are terrible simply because of what they’re about and how they’re handled. George Carlin said that anything can be made funny, even rape, if you imagine Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig.

If we can build entire films and musicals about how any pro-Hitler sentiment can only ever be taken as satire, isn’t that proof that you can joke about anything?

Yes, you can, but that doesn’t mean you should try, that the joke is funny, or that it’s alright, necessarily. Maybe Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, and Springtime for Hitler prove that anything can be made funny and that’s okay. But if that’s true (and no, I’m not saying that it is), that still doesn’t mean every attempt at making something funny is either acceptable or funny.

Springtime for Hitler is not a get-out-of-jail-free card for any attempt to make a terrible subject the object of humor. Standards need to exist.

Unfortunately, the line between good or acceptable dark humor and simply gratuitous, insensitive, inherently problematic jokes can blur. The excuse of humor can only go so far. Yes, make light of Nazis. But there’s still a point where “humor” is used an excuse for people to act like assholes. And it’s an excuse that is used all too often. Radio Shock Jocks have been using that excuse to help reinforce racism and rape culture for quite a while. Whether certain dudebros like it or not, there’s a point where it stops being gross-out and just starts being gross.

Which brings me to Archer, the animated spy comedy on FX that premiered in 2011. Like many comedy series like Seinfeld or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a major part of the premise is that certain characters are, quite simply, terrible people. These characters and their abhorrent behavior is the joke. And, as the show is about spies, these terrible people are often put into highly dangerous, outlandish, and traumatizing situations.

So, the main characters, by virtue of their profession, spend a lot of time killing people in cold blood. Or trying to seduce or manipulate enemies. Or engaging in clandestine operations of sabotage that harm a lot of people. Horrible, violent things are going to happen, things violent enough to serve as narratives on their own. But most of the characters are as awful as the situations they encounter, so the horror is amplified. And it’s a comedy.

Indeed, in the first episode of the fifth season, we get the whole main ensemble recounting all of their actions and experiences working for the spy agency ISIS that we’d witnessed over the course of the show’s run at that point. Drag racing with the Yakuza, knee-capping the Irish mob, encountering human traffickers, 30 year affairs with the head of the KGB that only ended when the guy was blown up because one of the ISIS members had choke sex with the victim’s cyborg replacement, actual piracy, paying homeless people to fight for spectators, defling a corpse, defiling a different corpse, sexual assault, kidnapping the pope, blowing up oil pipelines, “smuggling Mexicans”

Yeah.

There are comedic arcs about cancer, illegal immigration, kinky S&M bondage murders, cocaine addiction… a lot of stuff, basically.

Now, take those situations, and add in characters who get aroused by things like homeless people, being choked, sex with food, and the thought of their mother dying. Who spend their weekends starting fires, making hybrid pig-people, rubbing sand into the eyes of their employees, competing in underground Chinese Fighting Fish tournaments, and calling in bomb threats so that they can get a table at a fancy restaurant. You get the idea.

And it’s all totally awesome and hilarious and god damn it I kind of love these characters.

This show has a season-long sub-arc about one of the main characters getting so aggressively addicted to cocaine that she not only consumes (literally) half a ton of it in the space of a few months, but almost gets her head chopped off for buying amphetamines from the Yakuza with counterfeit money. It’s one of the most incredible things the show has done.

Pictured: An absurdly self-centered man feeling genuine dismay and concern over his friend risking her life to achieve an unrealistic standard of beauty.

The title character has a butler named Woodhouse who practically raised him. One of the first interactions we witness between them is Archer not only threatening to rub sand into Woodhouse’s “dead little eyes”, but making him go out and buy the sand himself and check if they grade it, because he wants the sand to be coarse. He’s also done things like make the man eat a bowl of spiderwebs and deliberately keep him in the dark about his brother’s death and funeral.

Another character is a mad scientist and possible clone of Adolf Hitler who kills a young intern by giving him a drug designed to turn him gay. That’s one of the less disturbing things Dr. Krieger has done.

Frequent gags on this show include one guy repeatedly getting shot, another character repeatedly getting paralyzed (it’s complicated), people trying to remember the inappropriate puns that they wanted say as one-liners, the horrific abuse and neglect Sterling Archer has received from his mother his entire life, and basically everyone being a sex-maniac.

There are plots revolving around mind-control, drugging people, and hypnotism. You can imagine the paths some of those episodes go down. Yes, there is a character that has tried to sexually assault one of her sleeping co-workers. And later deposited two unconscious, naked coworkers in a bathroom stall with an octopus, in an episode that has already made tentacle hentai jokes. Yes, the openly gay character on the show is often the target of jokes about him being gay or a woman from his coworkers. Yes, the female lead, a black woman, is referred to as a “quadroon” at one point by one of the characters.

Yes, the following exchange of dialogue does take place in an early episode:

“Oh my god, you killed a hooker!”

“Call-girl!”

“No, Cyril, when they’re dead, they’re just hookers!”

And yet… Oh my god. How it manages to play around with stuff in an amazing fashion. For one thing, it is amazing how often this show skewers micro-aggressions and fucks around with stereotypes. And, despite how unabashedly messed up it is, the writing in it actually manages to be oddly pro-social progress in ways that most modern media doesn’t even seem to be aware of.

I take pride in my sex work and I will not put up with your bullshit!

For instance the “hooker” referred to in that exchange? (spoiler alert: she wasn’t really dead) She’s Trinette, and she an unbelievably refreshing and strangely progressive depiction of a sex worker. While she’s a minor character, every time she shows up, it’s awesome. Trinette is a sex worker who is unashamed of her job, a woman who truly does take pride in and enjoy her work, who does not put up with poor behavior from her clients, and is just generally awesome. She call people out and makes them pay for any mistreatment she receives, from calling out micro-aggressions by insisting on her preferred terminology for her profession (“Call-girl, you puke!”), shaming men for their sexual misdeeds (“How can you cheat on Lana bare-back?!”), demanding restitution for any injuries or threats she’s suffered (Threatening Archer into giving her his car after he fakes her death and stuffs her in a rug to fool Cyril into thinking he killed her), and determining her work and clients (“What about Trinette? She said that? Damn it!”). When she has a baby, she gives it her last name along with his father’s (“Magoon-Archer”) and she unapologetically proud of her Irish heritage. She’s easily one of the most functional characters in the show, and every one of her appearances on the show manage to defy at least one whore-phobic trope a minute. She’s the best.

Then there’s the show’s handling of race, which is mixed. While arguably the most important female character in the series (the show, despite its name, is very, very much an ensemble, especially as the series progresses. But in the early episodes when they focussed on fewer characters, she was the one who got the most screentime) is Lana Kane, a highly-competent (for ISIS) African American woman who is really, really well-developed, there is also the fact that she’s the only POC in the main cast. Granted, part of that IS the point. One of the earliest episodes is “Diversity Hire”, where, aside from Lana, the spy agency is so overwhelmingly white that they hire a “diversity double-whammy!” Conway Stern, a black Jew.

“Sammy Gay-vis Junior!”

Now, granted, that doesn’t sound great the way I describe it, but there are so many great moments in this episode alone. For instance, when Mallory Archer, terrible woman and owner of the spy agency mentions their lack of diversity, Cyril, the tragically white accountant and “nice guy” puts his hands on Lana’s shoulder and says he thinks they’re pretty diverse, a statement Lana finds hilarious. Cue Sterling Archer, other horrible person, telling Lana she’s “black-ish”, then responding to her offense at this with “Well, you freaked out when I said quadroon!”. The framing of this entire discourse is that Cyril and Archer are fucking idiots and Lana is of course taking offense because, duh, she should. The episode proceeds with a lot of references and discussion about racism, highlighting casual racism in a nuanced, funny, and organic way. For instance, Archer’s relief that Conway didn’t sleep with his mother. While Archer freaks out about anyone sleeping with his mother, regardless of race, Conway believes it’s racism on Archer’s fault. And in no way does the narrative act like he’s overly-sensitive or irrational for thinking that. Because the stereotype about black men seducing white women and fear from white men about this is still a very real, pervasive thing that has somehow managed to survive in our “enlightened” times. Of course Conway encountering a guy who displays a downright violent fixation on whether or not his new black coworker is sleeping with his mother will assume it’s a race thing. Because why would anyone be so preoccupied with such an idea? In that situation, it’s almost certainly based on the long-standing paranoia white men have about black men’s sexuality “conquering their women.” It’s one of the most common varieties of anti-blackness in existence.

Of course, since it’s Archer, who has kidnapped a LOT of people under the suspicion that they were having sex with his mom, we know this is the one case that it isn’t racism. It’s Archer’s disturbing, Oedipal relationship with his mother. He even kidnapped and threatened his role model, Burt Reynolds, for dating his mother. When he says “Not in a racist way” to Conway in this episode, it’s actually true. He’s just honestly that screwed up where his mother is concerned.

Conway’s conclusions on this, regardless, are still framed as a totally understandable. To the point where the episodes suggests that it would make no sense for Conway to think otherwise. Part of the joke is that no, Archer isn’t a horrible racist at all. He’s way too screwed up for his actions to be motivated by racism.

And before anyone asks, no, this wasn’t the “episode that acknowledges that racism is a thing.” You know the ones… The episodes that talk about race and why racism is bad to prove to the audience that they’re not racist, then proceed with the rest of the show, which never acknowledges race and racism again. There are frequent instances of highlighting racism, from violent outright bigotry to common micro-aggressions to clueless white people demanding how the thing they just did/said could POSSIBLY be considered racist! They’re not racist! How is THAT racist?! Cue Lana face-palming.

I just really, really like this. It doesn’t just end there, either. Racism is called out pretty frequently on this show, and not in a cliche, strawman way. Nor is it treated like something that only exists in the form of aggressively bigoted bad people shouting slurs and holding cross burnings. Nope. The “heroes” of this show just say shit that you could easily imagine someone saying in real life, shortly before getting defensive about any racism on their part. It’s treated as a common, pervasive thing that Lana and other PoC have to deal with every day, and the offense they take at it is treated as nothing short of sympathetic or justified (even in the cases of misunderstandings, like with Conway). This includes Mallory telling Lana to “put [the race card] back in the deck!” as reminder of how much of an unapologetic douche Mallory is.

It’s made clear: people say and do some super racist shit on a regular basis with realizing it or meaning to, and regardless, it’s still uncool and people have every right to get upset and call you out on it. See: Ray’s bionic hand at the end of season six.

Lana’s reactions and how they’re framed is usually pretty awesome. Mostly they come in the form of small, reasonable confrontations, which are never framed as an overreaction on her part. The fact that she “freaked out” when Archer called her a quadroon is framed as “well, duh, of course, she should.” Then there are instances like when she, Archer, and their child visit a high-end nursery school where they encounter a pretty obvious racist. The guy ignores and dismisses Lana at first, then expresses surprise at the fact that she’s the mother of the child (despite the baby being black), remarking about the “times we live in” and telling Lana “good for you!” when she informs him that yes, she is the mother, not the nanny or the maid.

Not all of the racism stuff stems from Lana being back, either. They skewer bigotry against Latinos on a pretty regular basis. When an Irish mobster rants about Latinos (he doesn’t refer to them by that name) “taking American jobs!”, Archer immediately calls bullshit, recalling actual history of the Irish being accused of that exact same thing during the mass immigration of the Irish to America during the potato famine, and it’s just as shitty and bigoted to say such things about immigrants now as it was in 1842. He is extremely irate about a mission ISIS is assigned to do on behalf of border patrol to arrest people who just want to get a job, and he ends up siding with and befriending the Mexican illegal immigrants he encounters. All of this while aspects of certain Latinx cultures are often highlighted, often very favorably (“Ramone is Latino, so he’s not afraid to express affection.”)

That being said, there are still a lot of issues in the show. The lack of diversity is definitely an albatross around this show’s neck. Especially so many seasons after the “Diversity Hire” episode. While I do praise Archer for not treating racism as a thing that is rare and only needs to be addressed in one twenty-minute block of time, it is telling that the lack of diversity at ISIS is never addressed again.

Then there’s the approach to sexuality. The show loves gross-out sex humor, especially regarding Krieger. And the depiction of sexuality is actually pretty mixed. On one hand, the openly gay character in the show adheres to a lot of stereotypes about gay men: he mocks Lana about her “knock-off Fiacci drawers”, his go-to alias is “Carl Channing”, his free time is spent at raves, and he loves to make effeminate poses. He’s also a frequent target of homophobic jokes and remarks. His outrage at this is treated as being every bit as valid as Lana’s, but it doesn’t change the fact that their main gay character is basically ALL of the stereotypes, as are a number of the other gay characters.

“Alright! Were off to get our scrotums waxed!”

Then there is the sexual assault. Which, once again, is called out for being what it is, in defiance of many common biases (such as the idea that female-on-male sexual assault isn’t a thing). But this show is way too flippant about this.

While I consider Archer to be very sex-positive, allowing every character, regardless of sex, age, or orientation, to be comfortable and expressive about their sexuality without judgment (a lot of jokes, yes, but not any that come off as particularly shaming). Almost every character, male or female spends a fair amount of time naked or scantily clad. We see Archer stripped down just as often as Lana. And the fan service isn’t relegated to just women who adhere to the typical youth and weight obsessed eurocentric standards we all know and hate.

Pam, who is a big woman (and often the target of fat jokes, which the show always treats as nothing short of detestable) is a total sex goddess who grows to be utterly confident in herself as a woman to the point where she’s giving Mallory (one of the most desired women on the show) advice. When she reveals that she keep ingesting cocaine because it’s made her thin with big boobs, Archer is utterly dismayed, telling her she was way better off the way she was, acting horrified that she’d risk her life to be “hot”, and just generally freaking out about Pam’s desire to be thin. It manages to avoid being cliche or empty given that Archer considered Pam the best sex he ever had before she got thin, to the point of blowing off assignments just to have sex with her, because she’s just that awesome. After she gains the weight back in season six, she’s still sexy, making Archer’s jaw drop in the episode “Edie’s Wedding.” She’s also unapologetically pansexual, which is awesome.

Mallory, meanwhile, is still actively sexual and treated as desirable. While sex and sexuality are always sources of gags and jokes on Archer, never do the jokes about Mallory’s sexuality ever come across as ageist. Sure, some characters make ageist comments on the show, but it’s never treated as valid. Mallory is still treated as being extremely sexy and confident about it. While Mallory is generally a horrible person, her enthusiastic sexual agency is never once treated as a flaw or something disturbing or gross. What’s disturbing, gross, and worthy of ridicule is her son being so preoccupied and reactionary about his mother having a sex life. It’s clear: if you have a problem with Mallory having a lot of sex and enjoying it, you’re the one with issues.

Even the one young, thin, white woman in the main cast gets to be unapologetic about her kinks. It’s really only a problem when her desire for choke-sex motivates her to lead a KGB cyborg to the ISIS safehouse. Or when she coerces Cyril into sex. And generally acts like a violent, awful person.

Essentially, there’s no tolerance for shaming women for being sexual. All of it, regardless of preference, age, size, or race, is nothing but fun and should be enthusiastically represented. “Can’t talk, got a pussy to break!”

Being a predator is shameful. Having belly rolls is not.

Who on Earth finds this funny?

But, then there’s the flippancy about sexual assault. There ARE gags about Pam and Ray dropping their pants when encountering an unconscious Cyril. And sorry, but the framing of it is all manner of screwed up. There’s tons of sexual coersion as well. Another one of the most problematic instances comes in an episode of season two, where Archer is repeatedly sexually assaulted by a sixteen-year-old German socialite. The show goes out of its way to make it clear that Archer explicitly refuses consent, that he’s being violated, yet the show treats this as funny.

While I get that this is a comedy show and that in-depth exploration of the trauma of sexual abuse isn’t going to be something they can spend a lot of time on, the option they should have gone with is, you know, not base an episode around a german schoolgirl raping the main character. It’s not funny, guys. It’s not necessary. It’s actually just uncomfortable and off-putting.

The show mentions things like alternative gender identities, emotional triggers, and sexual exploration in ways that treat these things as totally valid, which is good. It also frequently portrays poor people as jokes in and of themselves, which is a lot less good. While materialism is lampooned frequently, it’s not treated as a joke in and of itself the way poverty is.

The way the show often portray legitimate abuse for laughs also often goes overboard. While the show does a good job of exploring and following through on all the ways Mallory’s abuse screwed up Archer, there’s a point where the volume of “abuse humor” gets to just be downright gross. Dark humor is one thing, not being able to go an episode without a “Haha, ten-year-old archer was abandoned in a train station at Christmas!” joke is, uh… Not great.

Archer is an awesome, immensely watchable show. But it’s not one I always feel clean watching. It’s a show that celebrates extremes, yes, but there’s a point where certain lines are crossed and it’s just problematic rather than gallows humor.

Archer is one of those series that really makes me struggle to distinguish the gallows humor from the simple tastelessness. To give pause to the idea of problematic content being the “point.”

The line blurs with Archer. A lot. It often manages to distinguish itself with the things it gets right, especially since they often do well on things that most shows, movies, and books are often terrible at. And that’s enough to buy it some goodwill for when they screw up.

But seriously, guys, please stop treating sexual coercion and child abuse as bottomless gag wells. I would have really preferred to have Pam and her awesome sexuality without her sexually assaulting Cyril and Ray. It’s not funny or clever or edgy. It’s just gross.

youtube

#archer fx #your fave is problematic #anon #feminism

11 notes · View notes

abortionclinica-blog · 5 years

Text

Why Did You Choose Abortion

I know it was the right decision Im 26 now and I had an abortion a few months ago when I was 25. The father was mentally, verbally, and physically abusive. It took about 2 hours to get to the clinic, and the whole ride up the he tortured me. Threatened to put me on the side of the road, and alse told me he was going to spit on me. Which he actually did a few weeks after i got the abortion. We were riding in the car going somewhere, and he got offended at something I said. Then he literally spit in my face twice while he was driving my car. That whole situation was a nightmare. Of course I was depressed about my decision. But the father was a habitual felon, which means he’ll never have a decent career. Which also means he could never fully provide for me and my child. Which was even more reason why I got it done. I came from a pretty stable background. My parents have been married for 31 years, and are still married. And this is what I wanted for my child. My worst nightmare has always been becoming a single mom… —fourapples single parent I choose abortion became I don’t want to be single, I want to be married before I have another one. I’m having problems with the man who I’m pregnant with now so I know what its gonna be like if I have this baby. —Guest Renee Sad I was 13 an pregnant. My family would not talk to me. I did it, but I wish I dis not. I saw the baby dead. Me sad, I had now no dischion because the baby was already dead. God bless that baby and make the deivil hount me! I am agents that method of death! I wish that was never invented or not ligail! —Guest Kerrie Ann Heath Choice I am a very lucky 27year old woman. I work for a wonderful, inspiring non profit and live a life filled with the love and support of great friends and a brilliant, kind fiance. Even with these circumstances, I was not ready financially or emotionally for motherhood. I am grateful I live in a place that allows me to make this type of choice. —Guest Linda it’s hard to explain… but i’ll try me and my bf have been together 7 months i found out i was pregnant and didn’t want to tell any famiy until i was sure of what i was gonna do, i’m in foster care just graduated hs my bf has no job and lives in another state, i love him with all my heart but felt like he was presuring me to have a baby as a way to sort of keep me, i wanted it somedays others i couldn’t dream of my kid having a life like i have… horrible! so when i went to the doctors i took the pills and so my bf wouldn’t kill me i madeit look like a miscarriage, i feel awful for that. but i see it’s not the right time i want a baby still just wait a year or two, i knew itwould be a hard pregnancy because i was already having sicknessand complications early on… i just can’t help but wonder… what if??? but i’m kinda glad i was given another chance to just live… find myself… i’m a baby, i can’t have a baby —Guest rayray I know it was for the best Well I had my abortion today at 6 wks. I have 3 kids a 7 yr old, 3 yr old, and 1 yr old!!! I’m happily married but pretty much living check to check. This was the hardest choice of my life but this how I chose it: I want the best for my kids…I want to be financially, emotionally, mentally stable home for my kids, which Im struggling to but I am for my babies now, but bringing another one I honestly believe I could provide all that but not in a happy home because me and hubby would be more stressed. More stressed working not seeing kids much due to hubby would have to work 2 jobs, stretching our attentions and individual quality time kids do need and sometimes I slack on due to be so tired from work then straight to kids. Basically I just want to get on the right track before bringing another in, I don’t want to be half ass parents to my kids, it wouldnt be fair to them including the one I gave back to god to save for me a little later. It’s SO hard always will be but for the best —Guest JaaZZEe It works if you work it. This is for all of you who are on the fence about abortion. I was 18, and living with my boyfriend. I fell pregnant when I was a senior in highschool. We were so in love. He worked a low paying job, and I was attending school full time. I remember thinking, “Are we really ready for a child?” Of course, like all couples who are in a involved relationship, we had discussed the possibility of children. He wanted to wait, and me being an idealist, decided that I wanted a baby. And I’d received what I’d asked for. Although, I briefly toyed with the idea of abortion, considering our age, income, not to mention our precarious living situation! I quickly decided that abortion was not the answer for me. My husband joined the army to support us, and can now say that we have over $3000 in savings. My son is 2, and I’m actually attending my first year of college! It can be done ladies. Believe me, I’m doing it. I began with nothing, and here I sit, smiling at the greatest joy in my life, my baby. —ReedJess 24 YEARS OLD WELL I JUST HAD MY ABORTION IM 24 AND AN ESCORT AND I HAD MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS AND DIDNT HAVE A CLUE OF WHO THE FATHER COULD BE SO I FELT ABORTION WAS THE ONLY OPTION .. BUT I REGRET IT KNOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE KEPT IT .. I ALWAYS USED PROTECTION WITH ALL OF MY CLIENTS I DONT KNOW HOW THIS HAPPEN I DONT RECALL A CONDOM EVER BREAKING…RIP TO MY UNBORN CHILD —Guest MICHELLE MOORE Everyday Struggle I just had a abortion 3 weeks ago and it was the worst thing I have ever did in my life. I found out early that I was pregnant and from the jump my boyfriend wanted a abortion. Reading and watching videos had me terrified and deep down I didn’t want to do it. I was ready to deal with my angry parents instead of getting the abortion. The day of my procedure I cried the entire time of the process though it was only 5mmins and I was drugged. I can still remember every detail. I stopped my bleeding and my body is doing better but emotionally I’m torn. My boyfriend waited until after it was over to say he wish we could of kept it. Now I’m going through depression because I only got the abortion because of him and my parents. I still have my ultra picture I even got it as my screensaver on my phone.I’m only 20 yrs old but I know me and my boyfriend would of been great parents. I just need to learn how to deal with the fact that my baby is gone —Guest Guest Teary Eyed Mom hlhs. I kept my son… but there was a bit of debating of whether we would or not. My boyfriend and I were 18 and we found out about Thomas heart condition …… I want to just say I read one readers response aaout her baby having a heart problem and I don’t think you should regret it. Yea, I cry thinking about how close I came to not having my son… but he suffered his first few months of life. He’s had two open heart surgeries and one more on the way and I’m 20 years old trying tp be as mature as I can be and deal with the stress. You made the decision so your child would feelno pain. And they aren’t. Do not ever regret that. —Guest heart problems… me and my bf i was pregant for 1months so my bf told me to abortion the baby —Guest it was my bf faults why I chose abortion I was only 22 years old and the father of my unborn child was 27 years older than me I make an ok living but I am still in college. I was not only scared for my future but scared for my chld and the longevity of a relationship with the father —Guest julycw The most important choice 3 years ago I became pregnant when a condom broke and the morning after pill didn’t work. It was a difficult choice to make, and one that I think about everyday. Even though I think about my decision everyday, I feel that it is so important as women that we stand up for this option to remain our choice. Remember that if you make this decision, it is yours and yours alone, don’t let anybody make you feel less of a human for making it. You will become part of a secret sisterhood because society puts you there, but don’t let that be a negative. It is your body, your choice, and everyday that goes by becomes a little easier. Don’t punish yourself, being a parent is a huge responsibility, and carrying a child to term and giving it up for adoption is just as hard as abortion. Don’t let someone bully you into this decision either, sit down alone and think about what’s best for you, and what you really want. Then make your decision. Good Luck and remember you will be ok in the end. —Guest guest1234 Not the best decision I chose abortion because I was trying to please some else and I thought it would be the easier way out…I also chose it because I let my parents fill my head up with the negative things and how my life would change drastically if I had the baby. I also had people tell me how i would regret having the abortion done but i didn’t listen. I could do it all over again I have chosen to have the baby instead of getting rid of it. My advice to any women would be that getting the abortion is not the answer you should thing positive. There isnt anything negative about having your baby in your life and loving them unconditionally. —Guest Chloe I had to do it I had an abortion 10 years ago. After finding out I was pregnant, I knew straight away what I had to do. I was in a violent and sexually abusive relationship and was very trapped and I certainly didn’t want to bring a child into that sort of life. I felt like I was offered no support at all and was left in a waiting list until over 4 months, which obviously meant that I could not just take a tablet. I am happy to say that I am now out of that relationship and since moved on, but 9 years later, I still feel sad sometimes and often think what if, especially as I still have no children of my own yet. I strongly recommend that people seriously consider what they are doing when they make this decision, I certainly did not think it would effect me like it has. —Guest Sadtimes Too Young To Be Pregnant!!!!!! Now 17. I hate that i got an abortion because I couldn’t take care of my baby. It was hard. I know I was only 16 and I shouldn’t been having sex. I couldn’t take care of it. I’m Only in the 10th grade. I got the abortion and afterwards I started feeling bad. My boyfriend and I decided to tell our parents what we had done. They told us they were going to be there for us. And all that time we thought they were going to be mad about. They were really mad when they found out what we did. They told us we shouldn’t have done that. Now we are trying to move on. Hopefully in the future we wont make that mistake again. —Guest Shay I took MY decision I was with my new boyfriend for about 8 months when I learned I was pregnant . Already a mother of 3 kids from my first marriage, I did not want my boyfriend to feel he had to stay with me . It was too early in our relationship. We decided not to keep the baby . I had a medical abortion and never regretted it . We moved a few months later and started living together . We are now maried and we have two boys aged 10 and 7. I know he stayed with me and my children because he loved me not because I was the mother of his child . I’ve never regretted my decision and I even told my daughter when she was 14 about my abortion so that she never feels guilty if she has to make this choice . It is our live before being the baby’s life. —Guest frenchie The reason why I’m 18 and I graduate in May. I just found out that I’m 5 weeks pregnant. This has been a very scary moment. I planned on going to college in the fall, but now I don’t know what to do. The baby’s father is 26. He has a good job but also has two other kids. I live with my aunt and her and my whole family hates him. But I care for him, he says that he would help take care of the baby but he isn’t ready for us to move in together and be in a relationship. I feel like he is using me. My aunt and him want me to get an abortion, and I do too a little, but it’s not morally right and god will never forgive me. But my whole family will be disappointed if I tell them I’m pregnant. I kinda want to keep it. So I got an abortion. —Guest Kerry I’ve done it both ways…. I had a child in 2008 when I was at the end of my sophomore year of college. When I’d found out I was pregnant with him eight months prior, I never even considered an abortion. 2 1/2 years later, I became pregnant again. I had been using the pill, although not quite religiously. The guy didn’t want the child; abortion was his choice. I, however, wavered on it. On the one hand, I wanted the child. On the other, I was about to graduate and having a baby would keep me from getting a job and supporting my son. So, even though my friends told me to keep the baby, I was scared into an abortion. Raising two children was scary. I wasn’t sure I was capable of handling it. So, at 12.3 weeks, I got it done. At the time, I still didn’t want to do it but I was scared. The ultrasound picture haunts me. I feel like I’m in hell on earth. I wish I had kept the baby. I cry every day and night thinking about what I did to that baby. Keep the baby! Consider adoption over abortion. You will be much happier —Guest Neveragain88 A tough decision I had an abortion when I was 17 in Oct. 2006. It was really hard for me but I knew right when I found out I was pregnant that it was what I wanted to do. I wasn’t in the place in my life that I wanted to be in, and I was having such a hard time with my boyfriend at the time. He liked my sister, was emotionally abusive, I really couldn’t see myself with him forever, I couldn’t see myself going through this and being happy, and I didn’t want to be stuck with an a** forever so I called for the appointment. Two years later right before we broke up my ex told everyone we knew that I did it (no one but my family and him knew). It really is a very hard decision to make for any woman. I still feel sad about it every now and then especially now that I just recently had a baby (almost on the anniversary date of the abortion). But I don’t regret that I did it. I was right about most of the reasons why I didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy. Hope this helps someone out there —krs23 My reasons I was 18 when I had an abortion. Fresh out of high school, father was still married but separated. Being young and dumb, I was gullible in thinking his separation from his wife meant that I was something special (ha). I still lived at home, was making little over minimum wage (1981, pennies on the dollar), could no way afford a baby, and biggest reason of all….would have lost support and respect of my family. To have the baby would have defied all practical logic and it made sense to me. All I could see was dismal future, unhappiness, and a child with a father who was pissed off that the baby was born. I believe babies need to come into the world with both parents loving, open arms. Life is hard enough. People under duress are not in right frame of mind to make life-altering moral and ethical decisions; which is usually frame of mind when a women finds herself with an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy. I could just see myself on welfare. No way. —soosoo13579 Silent No More I had an abortion at 16. I was not encouraged by anyone to choose life , only death. Doctors on what was called a therapeutic abortion committee at the time told my parents that an abortion would be the best solution. They said it was a simple procedure and reassured my parents that I would return to school the next day unaffected. It was a lie! There was physical , emotional , psychological and spiritual pain that followed for many years. It’s been 31 yrs and I can honestly say,the abortion did not solve any problems for me. Instead , it created more problems such as drinking , drugging and promiscuity. I’ve had 5 miscarriages during my marriage and I believe they were a result of scar tissue from having a surgical abortion. I’ve also been treated for depression for many years. I’ve become involved with a campaign called “Silent No More” where I’ve found much support from others who have experienced abortion as well. I realized that I did not have to suffer alone and there is hope! —Guest Dale Not sure I just found out I was pregnant the other day. I immediately went to the doctor and confirmed everything. I’m 26 years old. I have always been very careful (birth control and smart decisions). We had a lapse in the birth control and in the 3 weeks without, even being “careful” didn’t stop this. I know my boyfriend (who I was ready to end things with) doesn’t want a child and has made that very clear. We didn’t have the best relationship while we were together. I guess I’m really a little unsure. I always thought I would have an abortion if this happened before I was married and stable but I never thought I would be 26 facing this. My body has already started changing (I’m only about 3/4 weeks) and to know there is a little person inside of me that God gave me makes this the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. —Guest Guest234 not sure what to do I’m about 9 weeks pregnant and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m in my first year at college and the father wants nothing to do with me or the baby (it was a one night stand). I have told my family, however I am not coping and I keep thinking how I have ruined my life. However, I don’t think I could go through with an abortion. Adoption is also not an option. I don’t know what to do. —Guest guilty Right Reason but still hard I had an abortion last week. I was 16 weeks and 2 days along. I had to have the abortion as my baby had a horrible illness that would have given him a short and sad life. My husband and I know that it was the right thing to do but it is still so hard to deal with. We are young but we know that we would have been really good parents. I find that I am getting really angry at people with trivial problems and parents who treat their children badly. It is not something I ever want to do again and I never wanted to have to do it in the first place. —Guest Sarah Debating my 3rd abortion I had my first abortion when I was 21. My boyfriend at the time was having another baby with someone else who was further along. I decided that I didn’t want my baby to have to deal with questions of why he/she had a sibling the same age that wasn’t my child. I should have left but decided to stay with him. I got pregnant six months later. I miscarried around the time the other woman delivered. We found out the other baby wasn’t even his. We tried to make the relationship work after all the drama, I got pregnant again when I was 23. The pain of the drama/abortions before was intense and my morning sickness was so bad, I had a surgical abortion. We decided to try to make it work and moved to another city and now I am 10 weeks. I feel the need to have another abortion and just move away to another city. This time my friends and family know. I thought it would be different because I didn’t tell them before but I wish I would have just gotten a medical abortion when I found out. —Guest Andrea Best thing I ever did… ..well, I’m not trying to imply that minor surgery was fun, or anything. But it was a lot more fun than having an unwanted child would have been. I’ve never wanted children; there was an odd birth control failure (surprised my doctor). Fortunately there was a safe, easy plan B. And there you go…I HATE it when people kiss up to the right and say that abortion is always a “difficult”, “sad” choice. For many of us, who either don’t want children or realize the time isn’t right,and who don’t confuse zygotes with actual children, it’s the only choice, the responsible, caring one, and one for which we’re very grateful. Obviously I’ll never regret it. —Guest gina The worse thing I’ve ever done I am 26 years old and just recently got an abortion 3 days ago …. I am separated from my husband and we have two beautiful children …. I was not financially stable in any means to raise another baby as a single mom . My soon to be ex husband hardly has anything to do with our children as it is … It was a quick decision I made one weekend with my best friend …. I was 10 weeks pregnant and had the dnc procedure . It was the worse pain I have ever went through in my entire life !!! Afterwards I feel like a murderer like I was supposed to take care of my baby and love it but I let some stranger dismember it and suck it out until it was no longer living …. Please for the love of god if your thinking of doing this DON’T !!! I made the worst mistake of my life and wish so much I could take it back bit it’s too late !! This will haunt me for the rest of my life !! —Guest Mary may I will always regret it I had my abortion when I was 42. There was alot of pressure from my family and my husband to terminate the pregnancy. I am still saddened at the thought of what I did. Still angry at my husband and most times I don’t want him to touch me. The abortion was 3 years ago. I don’t see this relationship going anywhere. I don’t respect my husband for coercing me into aborting. What type of man does that to the women he loves? I see him as a coward now. —Guest JC Facing the hardest decision I am 28 and having an abortion tomorrow. This was a really hard decision for me. I’m 15 weeks and I can feel my little baby move… I even have pictures of him from the ultrasound. During my ultrasound the doctor discovered that my baby is at an increased risk for heart complications, but there is no way to know for sure until the baby is 22 weeks and by then it would be too late to terminate. My baby also has an increased risk for down syndrome. I believe it would be unfair to the baby and my four year old little girl to have a baby with serious ailments such as these. I wanted another baby so bad and there’s no way of knowing 100% if the baby actually has a serious problem. I’m so scared! I have no idea what to do! —Guest Shy The Worst Feeling In The World I fell pregnant at 19 years old. I was in no way ready. I had been kicked out of home with no money and only the clothes on my back. I stayed with my boyfriend’s cousin who did not support us because we didn’t pay to stay. My boyfriend is abusive. He has a severe anger problem and has done things that make me cry just thinking of it. I had the abortion in May 2009. I couldn’t handle the emotional pain and guilt. But I feared for myself and the baby because I had no home, and if I went back to my family my dad would have killed me. I can never live it down and I think of it all the time. I fell pregnant again just a few months later. I knew I did not want to go through it again. So I kept it and gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. I cannot be happier. I’m pregnant again. It’s only been a few months. I live with my parents and they strictly told me no more. I don’t know what to do I feel guilty as ever. I read pro-life comments & feel like a murderer. I don’t want to be. :’( —Guest Guest20 Regret it every day of my life I regret it every day of my life. I did it because I was a coward and was scared how others including my own family would perceive me. I never had a loving relationship with my mother. I wish I could convince other girls never to do this. A child is a blessing. It will forever haunt me and make me feel sadness even though I have other children. It took away my peace and happiness. I still laugh and smile but it has been many years and I think of it nearly every day. I feel the safest place for your baby should be your womb…where they are warm and protected. To think I let some doctor rip my baby out with a cold sterile instrument makes me feel such sadness. I pray to God that he will forgive me and I pray one day I will be able to see my babies face and finally find peace. If my daughter is ever faced with this I will love and support her and would never want her to consider abortion as an option. It does not solve anything–this world is just so messed up that we think it is ok. —Guest Amanda never trust sweet talk from a guy well my boyfriend and i were having a serious conversation about sexual relasonships and having a baby while i was only 15. He started doing some sweet talk that got to me, i feel for it.He said that no matter what happened between us our baby will always be taken care of and will recive the best from us.He would never let me down or leave me alone with the baby we will have.He would man up and take responciblity like he should do.So now i have fallen for all of that and got peragnant.2 weeks later i tell him about or futher baby and he goes nuts on me and he douthed about him being the father.He starts talking alot of crap that i dident expect.he and mention ABORTION i told him if he was crazy.I would never kill my baby he respnded ur the crazy one for planning to have a baby on your own with out a father and no job or no one to depend on or ask for help cause i wont be here to raise that baby thats not even mine.i started thinking and i relized an]bortion was all i could choose. —Guest samantha I am confused I have had a rough life. I was 1 of 5 children growing up. My mom was an addict. At an early age I started looking for love in all the wrong places. I ended up pregnant by age 12 when my mom forced me to have an abortion. At that age I hated her but now that I look back it was the best decision for me at that time. At the age of 16 I got pregnant and had a son. 6 months after I had my son, at the age of 17 I got pregnant again on the pill and I made the decision to get an abortion. At the age of 18 I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. 3 months later I was pregnant again and had a baby girl at the age of 19. I was married by the age of 20. My husband went to prison and I ended up becoming addicted to pain pills. I was pregnant 3 times over a 2 year period and got an abortion each time. I wasn’t on birth control at that point. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. I got clean & once my husband came home I got pregnant immediately and had a 2nd miscarriage. Got pregnant again and had a girl July 1st 2010 and I’m pregnant again while on the pill. I am lost. —Guest DMCS Lives with you I have had two abortions. It has taken me a long time to move forward in my life from it. I was suicidal for months after, depressed, and didn’t want to leave my apt. after my second abortion. The first one was very hard and I told myself I would never allow this to happen again. I was semi-involved with a guy friend who swore up and down that he was not able to get a woman pregnant because a doctor told him he would probably not have children, after an injury to the area. We ended up having sex and within a month found out on Fathers day that I was pregnant. I wanted to die because I had got into the same situation, I recently moved to my new apt., and could not afford another child because I have a 4 year old. I had a bad experince being left while pregnant with my lst child, and never wanted to be in the same situation again.I didn’t trust my guy friend to be a parent equally,and he was not right in his life at the time. I chose it and I regret it. —Guest Kate I had the abortion I had already published a piece of the story. At 8 weeks pregnant I found out my husband was talking to this girl. I confronted him about it and he took off. Never came back, never cared. That same week I got fired from my job. It all seemed just too much. I was crying all the time. I even asked my husband to try to work things out but he refused. He said I should spend my pregnancy in my home country (what nerve) and come deliver here is the USA. He said he’d help me financially and would be involve in the baby’s life… All while declaring he was never going to stop smoking pot or go to school to get a career. How can he support two adults, a baby and his habit on a server’s salary? It was not the right environment for a baby and I simply couldn’t do it on my own with no friends or family and a newborn. I had the abortion 5 days ago. I felt at piece with my decision. Well now I just feel empty and angry towards my husband. —Guest Scare and lonely Lost… I had an abortion in October 2009 and went through a lot of emotional turmoil. It totally messes you up. If your relationship with your boyfriend is dicey, it further messes you up. I was also on Accutane which causes fatal problems to the fetus so I had no choice but to abort. However, my boyfriend became an emotional wreck. He started becoming more distant. We lost both sexual and emotional intimacy. A year later, last month, Oct 2010, I had another abortion. This time, I really wanted to keep the baby. It was with the same guy, but we had too many arguments and he didn’t let me keep the baby. He is never there for me. In fact, he is on a trip (business and pleasure) and he hardly talks to me on the phone. My life is a mess. I don’t deem myself “right” for anyone. I have lost self confidence, self worth and I feel helpless. I was totally pro life and these 2 decisions which I couldn’t control one because of the medication and other because of the man, have left me devastated. —Guest Shway forgiveness I’m a Christian Minister and I want to say that God totally understands what we go through. I’d urge the women who still feel awful regret so many years on to find some help – maybe counselling or a good understanding church minister, and find ways to heal. If you feel you did wrong, ask God to forgive you. If you know you didn’t really have a choice at the time, ask God to help you forgive yourself. All any of us can do is make the best decision we can at the time, with the resources and understanding we have at the time. God understands that. and God understands how so often women get left to make such difficult decisions. If you are reading and haven’t decided whether to have an abortion or not yet, do follow the advice of women on here and get some proper sensible advice of all the options available to you. You’ll be confused and in a panic right now, and we all need some help working out what to do when we’re stuck. Hoping you’ll find peace. —Guest ray It was the best choice My husband and I are both in our 30s, finished with college and in professional careers. I have a 9-yr old child from a prior relationship, and I have a good relationship with his dad. My husband is physically and verbally abusive, and he has been for nearly a year. We separated in early August (2.5 months ago) after I told him he needed to leave or I would have him arrested (he was hurting me again.) He has done this many times, even in front of my child and in front of neighbors, yet somehow he finds a way to blame me for his anger. He has been coming over to spend time with me and my son a few times a week, often staying the night. He was talking about reconciliation, lots of couples counseling, even started taking meds. Then I found out I was pregnant, and that day he told me to have an abortion and he signed a lease elsewhere. He told me if I didn’t have one, he would make my life hell (he’s a lawyer, and I’m on his health insurance, and he makes most our income.) I chose an abortion. —Guest Kerry Terrible decision to have to make I was in school when I realized I was pregnant. I was engaged (now married) and being a mother is something I had wanted my whole life but at the time the thought of having to tell friends and family and the worry about not finishing school was overwhelming. Having said that, the decision to get the abortion was the worst decision I ever made. Years later, my life feels like its not what it should be. For me personally, the abortion has been traumatic and has left me terrified of intimacy but at the same time, overly desperate to be pregnant again. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice and no matter how old you are or what your situation is, I really urge anyone thinking about having an abortion to really think about it. It’s amazing how a decision that seems logical can turn out to be so haunting. I hope and pray that anyone looking here for advice will benefit from the stories of those who have been through it. —linstelino The hardest decision I had my second abortion 4 days ago and I’m doing ok. My first abortion was 3 years ago and letting go of that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was filled with guilt, regret and lots of “what ifs,” but counseling helped a great deal as did forgiving myself. I had the first and second abortion for numerous reasons from money to career and lots of other factors. While I know my partner and I could have raised 2 well adjusted kids we just were not in the position to do it. The hardest thing for me was not to worry about what other people thought about me and abortion but to accept I made the best decision for me and my future. This second abortion I have not felt bad at all. While my partner and I agreed on the decision it was ultimately my choice and I know it’s going to be ok. When we choose to have kids, I want to be excited and happy and look at the ultrasound pictures and know that this is what I want. Please don’t live in regret and guilt, it’s the worst thing. —Guest Guest M I don’t know what to do I’ll be 29 in a week, and my appointment to get an abortion is 3 days after. I am pregnant out of a complete lack of responsibility of my husband and I. He’s younger than me though, so I guess I’ll take the bigger blame. This would be my third abortion and I feel devastated even thinking about it. Both physically and emotionally, abortions are a really hard thing to deal with. I just don’t feel at all ready for a baby. I am working (well hardly as I’m sleepy and nauseous for most of the time I’m awake) my husband is unemployed and looking for a job. Besides the morality of it all, I don’t think we are in the condition of making a baby happy… and new life deserves happy parents that want to provide with a great environment for them, not like I don’t want to…just don’t know how. I feel so alone and sad. —Guest scared and lonely Alone in college facing the decision I was 17 when I chose abortion. I was 8 weeks and 6 days along. I had been pro-life my entire life being raised by a pro life mother. When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to keep it. My boyfriend, who is still the love of my life made it a point that we were young with bright futures ahead of us. We weren’t ready. I went against everything I believed in because I loved him so much. After the abortion, I had this haunting fear or “what if he died, I would have nothing.” Despite my fears, I am completely healed from the abortion now even though my motherly instinct wants a baby more than anything. Now I am 18, and found out that my birth control has failed me. I am 12 weeks along. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet. I’m in college now all alone. I have no close friends or family where I am. I feel like abortion is my only option yet again. I am too far along to even have an abortion without a ride home. I don’t know where to begin. —Guest Brianna didn’t know my stance I don’t want to count the months it has been. I get emotional reading stories of regret, whereas before, I wouldn’t have had a connection. It is something you have to go through to relate to. I didn’t want to have an abortion. I knew I was pregnant but my partner refused to believe me because he thought (and still thinks) he is a genius at the rhythm/pull-out method. Before we got together, I said I would get an abortion if we got pregnant, but once I knew I was…it wasn’t far from our wedding date. This made me feel that it was okay since we were getting married. I started talking to the embryo, telling it ‘daddy’ will be home soon’, but since daddy was so ignorant, he wouldn’t believe I was pregnant and let me go on that way happily for the 7 weeks. I really don’t believe I will ever be as close to him as I was before HIS decision to terminate. I had thought of moving to Europe and giving it up for adoption, but I’m no feminist, so I let him manipulate me. —Guest manipulated Didn’t want to leave my 6 year old son I chose abortion so that I wouldn’t have to leave my soon-to-be ex husband’s house and I could stay with my 6 year old son. My “ex” told me that if I kept my baby (I was pregnant by my boyfriend) I would have to get the F out of the house. And I want to be with my son, and I know I wouldn’t have won custody in the divorce because when I left him I didn’t take my son with me because I was living in my jeep. Now I just want a baby and move out. I realize I was pressured into it. I had the abortion and my ex still tells me to get out of the house anyway. It was a big mistake. —bonolarryedge Why I had an abortion I went through with a surgical termination for a few reasons, I was too far gone for the medical and I was fully asleep for this option. Having the actual abortion took about 4-5 weeks to decide, as maternal as I am it was just not the right time for myself or my boyfriend. I think the hardest thing is mentally fighting against nature during the whole thing. I have had problems since health wise and so you need to be sure it is for you. I would be happy to answer questions from others and know your story. —Guest Clover My abortion is my only regret. I couldn’t even type my guest name without tearing up. I hate the fact that I am a mom, I know I am, but no one else does. I hate seeing pregnant women further along in their pregnancies than I was. I hate seeing young mothers with their babies. And the worse is seeing young couples with their babies. My baby’s father threatened to leave if I kept our baby. Now we are married, and I regret my decision more than ever. Because he probably would have stayed no matter what. He was probably just scared too. It was the worst experience of my life. And I will NEVER make that mistake again. I don’t know when I will ever have the opportunity to have children again, as my husband doesn’t want a baby. Even if we do, I do not think that I will ever feel complete. I never got to meet my baby….never got to hold my baby. And I am the only person to blame. —Guest Guest mommy of an angel No regrets…it was for the best… I was 20 and dealing with a mentally abusive, drug and alcohol addicted husband and raising a 1 year old with no money and no real place of residency. In my mind it was bad enough raising one child in that environment. Why do that to another? Thinking over the decision it wasn’t that hard. I know I could have adopted out the child to a family in need but I couldn’t do that either. To me that was harder — knowing about a child somewhere out there — rather than terminating the pregnancy. In the end it turned out to be the best thing for me. It got me out of a horrible scary marriage and back on track with giving my child and myself a life. —Guest Jessica I am glad to be able to make my choices I am a mother of 2 kids and in a happy marriage. This pregnancy is an accident and we never wanted more than 2 kids. I feel if I have the 3rd one at this stage, I will compromise on the upbringing of my other 2 that have been brought into this world with best intentions. I will hate to see that happen and at the same time do not want to compromise my future for the sake of something that we never wanted. I know I am making the right decision for the long term happiness of my family. Sorry, if my decision hurts anyone’s faith, but I being the pregnant lady has the right to do so! —Guest Almost 35 The freedom of choice I was going to have an abortion in 1996, I was 15 and afraid. I waited too long and couldn’t get one. Adoption was out of the question, I kept him. He is now 13 years old. I didn’t get a GED untill I was 21 and now at 29 I am going back to college. I have 2 children on 13 the other 10. I love them very much, but it was very hard getting here (to a stable point in my life). We have been on welfare, homeless and I have done things that I will regret for the rest of my life. My children deserved so much better than what we had. God sent me a man to help me get an education and to get out of the roach-infested drug area we were living in. I would still be working a dead end job and my children would still be neglected since I couldnt afford child care. I would tell girls that were in my situation to really weigh their options. I am thankful that the option was and is legal. —Guest Tanaya Pregnant, but do not want it… I realized over the past couple of years that I do not want children. I even thought I probably couldn’t have them. I was careless, though, and now my boyfriend and I agree we should terminate. It’s been difficult, because I know it has a little heartbeat, but I do NOT want children. I may change my mind in a year or two, and hopefully will be able to have them then, and afford them (I’ve been out of work for almost a year now and he doesn’t make much), but I am not in a place to deal with an infant right now. I never thought I’d be here, and I don’t wish these conflicted feelings on anyone, but I am SOOO glad we have options! My support people have said that whatever decision I make is the right one. I’m trusting them. —Guest Syriana Best Decision for My Family My husband of six years and I separated after I finished my first year of law school. After fighting it out many months with a counselor, we agreed to share custody of our two children aged 2 and 5. He moved thirty-five miles away to pastor a church in D.C. while I continued to live, work and attend graduate school in Baltimore. It was a very traumatic time for the children who did not understand what was happening to the family. I found the younger child sleepwalking at times when “visiting” me. The older child, previously very precocious, had a few episodes of soiling her underwear. This obviously was a frightening, unstable time for our small ones–as separation/divorce tends to be for children of all ages. One weekend, my husband & I attended a wedding of friends and were intimate with each other afterward. Loneliness, I guess. The condom broke, and a few weeks later that I learned that I was pregnant. Wanting to spare our children further trauma, I aborted the pregnancy. —Guest writer2 16 & pregnant I was 16 when I got pregnant by this boy I was in love with, and he was my first love. On Thanksgiving Day we decided to finally use a condom and it broke. We didn’t think anything of it because nothing had happened to us before, so we finished. One month later I didn’t get my period so I told him At first he tried to deny it, but he couldn’t. He knew it was his. Out of the 3 months I was pregnant I saw him 5 times. He didn’t call me. Instead, he he would text. We would argue because I wanted the baby and he didn’t. But I guess he really didn’t understand and his aunt was pressuring him too. The day of my abortion he went with me. I was nervous. They said they were giving me an ultrasound, so I went to get the ultrasound. I remember laying on the table with a bright light in my face, and my legs in the air. I got a shot called “twilight” it was to make you sleep, but I only felt drunk. I was in so much pain physically, mentally and emotionally. —angie1992 Why I did it I was 18. Father was my married boss who had no intention of leaving his wife and said he didn’t want 3 kids (he had two already). I was working at fast food minimum wage job, still living with parents, in college…..and terrified of my mother finding out, family response, anger from family at having baby when I could not support it and anger at who father was. At time, never considered anything but abortion as quickly as I could (6 weeks). I was terrified. Sure life went on as planned afterward, but what would my life be like now had I had the baby? My parents never would have rejected me/baby, father would have had to face his wife with the truth, the baby would have been an amazing person (just like my son), since father was smart and good looking. I threw away a perfect human being to avoid facing reality and so I could go on having fun with my friends without responsibility. That’s really the truth, deep down. —Guest Soo No regrets I went through a very bad time a few years back. My ex boyfriend got me into drugs, and I became dependent on heroin. I started stripping to buy what I needed to survive everyday. I was on the pill at first, but I couldn’t get to the clinic all the time to refill my prescription since I didn’t have a car. I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. It was about three months after stopping the pills. I hadn’t had my period for months because I didn’t take the placebos at the end of the month, I just went straight to the next pack. I thought the pills were still affecting my reproductive ability, so it was safe to have sex. I was wrong. I could not have a baby like this. In this situation. No way. I knew I was pregnant at about three and a half weeks. I took ru-486 at four weeks. I knew I was pregnant because I listened to my body. I knew I couldn’t bring a child into the world because I listened to my heart and my brain. I am better now. I have a wonderful life. I am happy. I stand by my choice. —Guest A Healed Soul I didn’t effect me… Until now (cont.) Well, we went through with the abortion at 12 weeks, and of course there was emotional turmoil from both of us for a bit, but we both felt like we had made the best decision. It’s been nearly five years, without me giving it much thought. My husband and I recently had our first son. I love him so much, and as stressed as I am, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, now, all I can feel is guilt. 12 weeks. They can move. They are developing facial features. I look at my son, and it haunts me to think that he’s missing a sibling. I feel like it’s completely my fault. I can easily say that I do have regrets about the abortion. But, at the same time, I feel like my husband and I would be much worse off if I hadn’t had the abortion. I know for a fact that if I had continued the pregnancy that neither he, nor I would have been able to give up the child. Not to mention that my husband would be in jail at this time due to the pregnancy. Research. Weigh your options. Remember, it’s YOUR choice. —Guest Rika I didn’t effect me… Until now I was 15 when I had my abortion. I was a freshman in high school and had been dating my 17 year old boyfriend (now husband) for over a year. We had been practicing safe sex, but a slip up led to the pregnancy. Neither of us wanted to have the abortion, but being raised in a Mormon family, I knew that he and I would be subject to judgment and ridicule behind closed doors. Even so, what ultimately drew us to our decision was the looming fact that if my grandfather had found out, he would have reported my boyfriend for statutory rape, and he would have been registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. We also knew that neither of us were ready to care for the child. We both grew up in poor situations involving poverty and drug usage from our parents and we did not want that environment for our child. My mother passed when I was 11 and my siblings and I were being raised by my grandmother. She had enough stress. (I’m going to continue in another post.) —Guest Rika i made the right decision i had an abortion when i was 18. i used to be completely against abortions untill i got pregnant. all these people that say abortion is wrong and put down women who have had an abortion dont know what it feels like. when you experience the situation personally its alot more understanding. i hate when people go on and on about how wrong it is.. they dont know how it feels to be a struggeling pregnant teenager obviously!! i think about my abortion every single day and i sometimes even wonder what if.. but in my heart i know that it was the right decision. —Guest caitlyn Confused Well im 6 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. I am married. own house and car but my husband is the only one working. My last pregnancy I was sick for the full 9 months. Wasnt sure if me or my daughter was going to make it. Now here I am today. Its been 4 days and ive eaten nothing. Ive thrown up over 15 times. Ive passed out. Heart trouble….just too much stress. And I dont think I am ready to go thru this again. I feel like im nearly at death sometimes. —Guest JJ A choice I am a mother of one very needy 3 year old child, every minute of everyday I spend w/ him, I think back to my pregnancy and the first 2 years of his life. I am married to a wonderful man, with anxiety. And me I am fresh out of a pregnancy/ post partum depression. I am much better now, I’m 85 percent sure I’m having an abortion, when my son was a 0mos-24 mos. my husband worked 12-14 hours a day, away from my family or his, I had no help, there were times I wanted to hurt my child, I never did, but there were times I felt very close, and if you are any kind of honest mom in that situation you understand my feelings. I felt like a bad mom for my feelings, anger, resentment, frustration. I gained 85 lbs with my first pregnancy, and 3 years later I’ve only lost 35lbs of what I gained, it has put a strain on me mentally, and physically, I had a surgery 8wks ago. I’m having an abortion b/c I don’t feel I or my hub. Can handle another child physically or mentally. —Guest Dawna Angels Above. I’ve had 2 abortions and I’m 21 years old. The first I was 14 and had been raped. I couldn’t support myself let alone raise a child and didnt want to be reminded of my rapist every time I looked at my child. 2nd I was 18 and not living in a safe environment. Alot of violence and drug dealings going on around me. I knew it was the best decision for those circumstances at those times in my life but it still scars me to this day. I look at a child and get emotional. I am now 7 weeks pregnant and leaving the father as he mentally and emotionally abuses me. I would rather be a single mum than abort again. It just hurts to much. Think carefully before deciding to abort ladies. —Guest Mandz25 what to do? I was 21 and I had already had one with my sons father, Wowzers here comes another, but I was scared to have two kids and not be able to raise them properly because babies arent cheap. Plus my bd has other kids so we both said it was best we aint wont our baby to have to want for anything. So we decided to do it. I think of the lil angel a lot though. —Guest Ms.Leta why i choose it cus i have a babe and my bf ws not working although he wanted the babe so bad bt i couldnt deal with the fact that i have to suport the babe alone, its been two months now and he got work and my relatioship with him is real not going, has dumped me several times and is cheating with another, when i ask him he says he wants a babe and wil do anything to get it with sumone who is willing… so i wul say it was not the best decision i made.. —Guest beeve I wish my situation was better I was 27, separated from my ex-husband who had fathered 3 kids with his mistress during our 5 year marriage. When he sent me divorce papers out of the blue (that’s when I found out about the kids) we separated… I moved into my car and he moved in with her. He was happy. I wasn’t. So I went out and wanted to numb the pain of loneliness and depression and I slept with my closest guy friend. (Background – I have pcos and endometerosis and rarely have periods) so I thought everything was ok. It wasn’t. I went in for a routine check up on my cysts and found out I was pregnant. My ex found out and he and his insane family began to threaten me. When I told my only friend, he was there for me, and thrilled that I was carrying his child. I was shocked. But everyone in his family demanded that I abort or else. And since I had no job, no money, living out of my car with my only support being my friend whose family always hated me… I did what everyone wanted. It still hurts to this day. —Guest none kayleighr 2011 i had one yesterday at 12 weeks and ive never felt more relieved, i know its not nice but i want to bring a kid up when i have my own house and have worked and give it a good life instead of bringing a child up on benifits and income support i dont want to be relying on the goverment as they treat u like s..t and stop ur money when they feel like it then u end up living in a hostel struggling for food and cloths no thanks i made the right decision i know that now even though i was scared right up to the day. i hope to have a baby one day when im ready and give it a great life. —Guest kayleigh 2011 How about because I didn’t want a kid? And it was an excellent decision. The thought of having a 7 yr old today is enough to make me jump for joy that I wasn’t a religious nut who felt guilt-tripped into having a child. It is depressing that women still feel like they have to come up with a sentimental excuse to have an abortion. I had an abortion because I have a brain. I was 17. I am an intelligent person who wanted to go to college and work (which I did.) My life is significantly better due to my decision to have an abortion. Furthermore, all scientific evidence supports that fetuses in the 1st trimester cannot feel pain and are not self-aware. Actually, these anti-choicers should have more of a problem eating meat than aborting an early fetus. There is no good reason to feel bad about having an abortion unless you were forced to have one. The world would be a much better place (less poverty, starvation, etc) if more women chose this option. Just because you have a uterus, it doesn’t mean you need to fill it with a kid! —Guest Ashley Confused I have just found out that i am pregnant, feelin very intense, scared and dont no how to tell anyone, confused whether to keep it or not! : ( as i have never been in a relationship with the father, it was all a bit of fun, he already has a child with his previuos partner and doesnt want anymore.. I darent tell him as i think too much of him, but i think about this unborn baby it cripples me, i dont no what to do —Guest Jackii hard times i had a abortion almost 12 years ago and i still reget it so much i was on my early 20′s with 3 boys i had a very hard life but after i had the abortion i never had kids again i regret it so much i been living with this n i feel so bad i can’t forgive myself —Guest regret what i did Tomorrow… My date for a medical abortion is tomorrow – 10 Dec 2011, I told my 4 year long boyfriend that I am pregnant last night (I am 35 and he 50) he immediately told me to have an abortion, that the night we conceived we were both drunk and that our relationship is not based on love but lust. He also asked me to sign a letter stating that I do not have any financial or other claims against him and waive my rights if i decide to go ahead and have the child, which I did this morning. I am having this abortion because i dont want a child to live in these types of circumstances -I am NOT going to explain to him/her one day that they arent wanted and I made that choice by choosing to be with such a pr*ck in the first place. EVERY CHILD has a right to a REAL life, NOT HALF a chance. I am giving myself a second chance in life, I choose to learn from my mistakes and not to destroy my heart in the process. My heart goes out to all of you, and all the best for a REAL future. —Guest Guest Mich Thank you I have never had to consider abortion, and was never pressured to have one. I have been conflicted about the legality of abortion for many years, and staggered by the millions of lives that have been lost since it became legal. I am Roman Catholic, and I do believe that abortion is a sin, since taking a life should never come without spiritual consequences. However we have a loving God, who forgives us our truly awful choices, if we truly repent. With your stories, I have decided that abortion should be legal until such time as our country so loves its children that they and their mothers are assured of care and of protection from the beginning of pregnancy and for as long as required. When there are no longer tens of thousands of children in foster care because they have all been adopted, then the country can make abortion illegal. Until then, there isn’t enough love in it for all, and women should have the right to abort in a safe and legal way, if they feel they have to. —trentriverwoman Really confused Im 17 nd my bf just turned 22, im 7 weeks and i have no idea what to do, my dad once told me if I ever get pregnet ,thall he would kick me out, and I would have to live with my bf, my bf lives with his mom and can barley afford himself, on top of that I feel like hes pressuring me to abort, deep down inside I dont, my mom and his mom say no, my bf tells me yes and im scared wat my dad will do.. —Guest Just pray Theres more ways out I was 14 when I had a abortion I wanted tht bby more than anything I was forced to have a abortion by my.mom.now I regret it.more than anything I have to go true life knowing I killed a poor bby. It.doesnt matter if u have the money or not theres is plenty of.more ways.out. Its only been a year and i still feel sad and depresed but theres noo turning now . I just wish this thing was ilegal or something. —Guest Not a good choice An Unresolved Issue I primarily did it out of shame, but it left me carrying guilt and shame the rest of my life. I was 20 and not married. I couldn’t bear having my very large, strict, Roman Catholic family learn that I was pregnant or that I would have a child out of wedlock. The irony is that the strict pro-life religion under which I was raised is what sent me running to the abortion clinic. I still feel haunted over the fact that I took this life. Adoption didn’t seem like a viable option, because the pregnancy would have been public and I would still have to bear the shame and stigma brought on by my family, my faith, and society. However, I could never escape my own judgement of myself. There will always be abortions until society becomes more forgiving and accepting of mistakes. I still think abortion is taking a life, but I see it as a form of self defense on the woman’s part. It is sad that an innocent child is caught in the middle. —Guest Haunted Dark Time I grew up in an abusive household. My mom was helpless and timid; always crying. My dad terrorized us. I swore that I would never get around someone similar. Unfortunately, my first serious boyfriend was much like my father and through fear and intimidation (and because it was what I was used to), I fell right back into a pattern of doing what I was told. He didn’t abuse me physically, but he was very obsessive/possessive and I was afraid of him. I was still very afraid of having to show my body to anyone, so I didn’t seek birth control from a clinic. Instead I used drugstore methods, though he would often force himself on me . He and I fought and my family fought with me because they didn’t like him. It became worse when he started drinking. I went to a clinic alone and was attacked by protesters. I never felt so alone, scared and sad in my life. I wish someone would have helped me. I wish I had the courage to say what was going on. I was 20 at the time, 28 now. It will always hurt. —yoruame You do you. you wanna have a baby? have a baby! if you don’t then theres adoption or abortion. It is YOUR choice ladies. not anyone else’s to decide for you. I personally had an abortion for lots of reasons. i don’t regret it. some do. it all depends on you! There are mean nasty ass people out there who will degrade and belittle you n will say nasty things. f*** ‘em. Only YOU know whats best for you the baby n the father, if he didn’t help get you pregnant then lose his balls n run once you found out. If anyone don’t agree with abortion… Then i suggest they don’t have one then, huh?!? —loretta.k Jesus Saves! I was sinning and very young. I knew if I had a baby out of wedlock I would shame my family and no man would ever make his wife. I feel confident about my decision to have an abortion because it was the decision that most benefited ME. Now I have a loving husband (who never has to find out) a Huge bank account, a beautiful house we had built brand new, three 2011 cars and 3 healthy (non bastard) children and a family that loves me. Praise the lord, Jesus has forgiven me, I am free of my sins. No matter what we do in this life, it’s between us and GOD! He gave me this body to do with what I CHOOSE! It’s NO ONE’S Business if we have had an abortion. You don’t have to tell anyone, I didn’t. God Bless —Guest Mellissa Harmon Worst decision of my life I had it about 2 months ago i am a 20 year old college student who had alot going on. Internship, had about a semester on my bachelors. Had just opened a small store with my friend. Things were really moving, and me and my boyfriend who had a very good job had just met actually it was about a month into our relationship i found out. I felt like i didnt really know him enough to have to deal with this person for 18 more years i also felt that i had done alot since i was 16 and being the best that i could be at everything i tried. Then i went and got pregnant and i just saw every bad possibility coming from this situation. College going up in flames, internship denying me another year. Just my life being over. Then my parents were forcing us to get married. He was older than me 31 to be exact, and i just wasnt ready. So i did it, july 14th i got rid of it. Right before i went in a nun urged me not to. I should of listened cause now everyday i feel empty. Empty as a glass. —Guest Sucks i regret myself yesterday only i did abortion(28th sept 2011) and today i am in total emotional turmoil, i am regretting and blaming my husband as well. he did not support me to have this baby so i had to abort my child and i also would like to request all the women never do such kind of mistake in your. this is indeed a murder in my view. children are the gift of god, they have the right to live. —Guest niru mishra No regrets I was in a relationship where I was controlled to the point where my ex didn’t want me to take birth control. I fought with him saying that I didn’t want a child at this time. So I tried to sneak birth control , and he abused me when he found out. He controlled and manipulated me so much that I wasn’t allowed to wear low cut shirts, skirts, make up, bathing suits, have any guy friends etc. So it came to the day that I was pregnant. I didn’t want to have a child, I wanted to wait till I was financially settled and educated enough to properly care for a child. I am not mentally ill, a horrible person and selfish, I was someone that was young and in a bad situation. So I chose to abort. To this day, I am fortunate that abortion is available, because I don’t know what I would be doing right now with a child, its hard enough to get by. His family were alcoholics and had a lot of problems, I didn’t want a child brought up in that life. I didn’t want a child at that time, period. —Guest Anonymous to be responsible Having an abortion when I was much younger was the responsible thing to do. My bf and I would have had to marry. I was very immature and emotionally unstable and my bf eventually came to understand that he was gay. I wanted to have a traditional family, and because I was easily able to procure an abortion (safe and nearly painless), I was allowed to grow up and have the family I wanted. Although society generally is more understanding now of single mothers, some families and cultural communities are still incredibly backwards. We should not make these women suffer because we do not walk in their shoes. —faneta few regrets I know I wouldn’t have the family and children I have now if I had not had an abortion 30 yrs ago. My main emotion afterwards was relief. My bf did not want the child or to marry. So although I wish I hadn’t gotten pregnant that first time, my 2 children would not exist. I’m so sick of these pro-lifers who don’t give a thought to the suffering of women and girls in truly desperate situations. The quality of life of an autonomous human being is more important that the life of a potential autonomous human being. Although they don’t mean to be, prolifers are really pro-suffering (esp. as it relates to sexual sin). The only authentic prolifers are those who are also 100% antiwar, like the Quakers. The rest are just unwitting sheep joining the religious patriarchy to keep women under control. You are not murderers! Stand up for your right to determine the course of your life, and respect other women’s. Ignore those who want to you to suffer emotionally just so they can feel superior. —faneta no support I had a abortion a week ago it hurts so bad.The reason I did it I had no type of support from my mother or the guy I was with. I cry almost everyday but I decided to heal myself by lighting a candle and praying for gods forgiveness and asking my baby for forgiveness.I know in my heart I will never get another abortion. —Guest Dj Why I chose abortion. I’ve had two abortion when I was 20 and 22. I was in a relationship with a man who didn’t have a job, depressed and has bipolar mother. I couldn’t see myself being with him and raising his children, I was panicking what I should do. After the first one I said never again to abortion. I was pregnant with 2nd child, I decided to tell my parents to keep the baby. I brought my ex, his mother, and our parents together to talk about what to do. My ex was all about talk, never went through and promised his words. So I said, I can’t do it. I cried so much but I knew I had to do it. I am pregnant again right now and decided to have one once again. I am now 26years old. I am trying to further my career and my current boyfriend still has to finish school. He doesn’t believe in abortion but he says he understands my point of view. I want to marry him someday and a child when we really want one. I feel terrible, ignorant, and selfish but I decided to do this for us. —Guest Lori More than money The cost of an abortion is much more than money. As some one who made that uneducated choice, I have had to live regret. I look at my children today and know that they are missing 2 siblings. My hope is that if you are reading this and feel that abortion is the only answer for you – you will open your heart to the child in your womb and know that you have been given this opportunity to choose life and love this child. There is always a way – when you look for it. —Wonderfullymade812 no regrets newfound love for being young I found out i was pregnant at16 it was the beginning of my junior year my bf wanted me to have it but it just wasnt realistic im a teenager my worries are school and work as they should be not supporting and raising a child my mom noticed i was pregnant before i did bc of the morning sickness im so lucky my mom was super supportive of my decision to get an abortion after having the procedure i was in a euphoria of relief and motivation to get the most out of life i come from a middle class family good grades there was no way i was going to end up broke single and un educated not to mention the burden i would place on my parents they have already raised children people who have kids when there still kids end up having mid life crisises feeling like theyv missed out on life they never really grow up life has so much to offer getting an abortion was the best decision of my life it gave me the option to have a life i appreciate being young so much more now and that i am truly greatful for —marge0000 Thought I couldnt get pregnant I’m 37, wz seeing 31 he has no kids. We met Jan. He said he wanted a baby with me in May. I read on the Internet it wz harder for women over 35. 25%-50%, weed smokers have slow sperm swimmers he’s 1, getting off the pill takes 1 yr. On 7/23 I conceived with 1 try only that month! On 8/6 I brk it off. On 8/12 I find out I’m pregnant. He said it’s ok but he’s someone. Rearing a child fatherless is not an option for me. He feels I trapped him. He’s 31, no kids, no car, lives with mom. I have 2 kids and a professional job. His anger & inability to father has made my choice. I’ve cried ALOT. I repent my own stupidity. I stopped pill, after he said he wanted baby in may. After an inconsistent cycle I said to himi stopped the pill. It went over his head. He thinks I trapped him. I have 2 kids and professional Job. He does not want to b dad. I dont want a fatherless child —Guest 37 After 2 and a half years i am healed I was 20 years of age at that time and i was so afraid. I really felt like keeping the baby but my boyfriend said no and i never ever really healed after that until i met my current Boyfriend. He is the greatest thing in my life, he helped me understand and get myself to forgive myself and as i stumbled upon this sight it truly made me realize how healed i am! And the best thing of all is that God forgave me, i truly feel that in my heart and i am so happy all the time! God gave me a gift in a form i would never ever have guessed would be possible. my advice would be to let God give you something to help you forgive yourself and be open towards God and have faith! it sometimes takes long but in the end it helped me through things i never would have before! —Guest Doreena Consider This I dont mean to be inappropriate by posting about the other side of the fence, I really dont. After reading many of these posts, I feel if I can advise one pregnant woman about what the other side of the fence is like, perhaps it could forever change her life forever. I considered abortion, I considered it long and hard. I even had the keys in hand, ready to head to a clinic a few times. They never made it to the cars ignition though. Abortion processes are not pretty, and I couldnt rip the child out chunk by chunk, I wasnt going to have a practicioner do if for me. I really wondered what it would have been like to have a long career. I am 21, my boyfriend is 23, our daughter is a month old. Loving her has been a process, notsomething that came easy when I was pregnant. But I am NOT broken on the inside, as it sounds many women are that have the procedure. I couldnt do it because my future is not more important than my daughter’s no matter what. When theres a will theres a way. —Guest Sarah Abortion clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za Medical abortion pills https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/medical-abortion-pills.html Surgical abortion https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/surgical-abortion.html Womb cleaning https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/womb-cleaning.html Abortion Counselling https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/abortion-counseling.html Pregnancy termination https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/pregnancy-termination.html Why abortion should be legal https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/why-abortion-should-be-legal.html Abortion law https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/abortion-law.html Abortion statistics https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/abortion-statistics.html Womens clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za Safe abortion clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za Legal abortion clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za History of abortions https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/history-of-abortion.html

0 notes

imaginationworldstellacarrier · 5 years

Link

I have to credit Carolyn Hax for definitely knowing how to creatively pick topics for her articles. The first article, even as a married woman I prefer to be impartial to both the man and woman referenced in this relationship article and instead refrain from judging because information is scarce as to the types of careers and incomes that the the girlfriend and her boyfriend had including their ages andor if either one of them has been previously married. Additionally, information is missing on if the boyfriend told his girlfriend from the start that he just wanted to aim for a long term relationship with the possibility rather than an obligation to marry. Yes, I understand love sometimes finds a way regardless of money, previous relationship, age, andor location differences. However, if say either the woman or her boyfriend has been married before and they live at least a 2 hour drive apart (even if both have cars) then it would be easy to see why more communication would be necessary if they were to resume contact again. For instance, if they were to ever reunite again andor ideally before they get intimate again, then maybe the boyfriend could right away admit to her that he prefers to be in a long term relationship for the time being free to live a marriage free lifestyle if he so chooses with the girlfriend deciding if she wants to take him up on his offer. Again, I have to refrain from further judging also because there is no mention as to the occupation andor money status of either the girlfriend or the boyfriend. I say this because the article is written in a way to show that maybe the boyfriend romantically loved his girlfriend more than she may have realized yet preferred a long term relationship in place of a proposal until they both got into a stronger financial situation that he felt comfortable enough to propose in andor maybe the boyfriend was open minded about his girlfriends money status but simply wanted to enjoy his girlfriends romantic company for the long term proposal free ala Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. I know that I am just guessing the situation between the "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". I was just illustrating why I prefer to be impartial to demonizing the boyfriend and placing an angelic like halo on the girlfriend unless more details were included in the article to give deeper flesh to both sides of the story (in terms of their ages, careers, income statuses, how close to each other that they live, have they been married before, their family andor social status etc.)

As for the foster child scenario, as a transracial adoptee who is fortunate to have been adopted by my late adoptive mother who was an American born Caucasian woman of partial French descent and a late adoptive father who was also American born of Mexican and Aztec descent I have great sympathy for the foster child calling her friends mother mom. Additionally, the columnist Carolyn Hax shows how much heart and compassion that she has in her answer to the woman wondering what to do about her daughter's friend calling her mother. Last yet far from least, a multiple number of these online commenters defending the former foster child are thoughtful and heart centered comments. However, despite the potential public judgment I might garner for my comments I have to respectfully disagree that the woman must hide how she feels and allow her friend's daughter to call her mom and here is why; First off, this well intent article is missing information on if the daughter's foster mother is still even alive. This matters because if the foster mother is still alive then the woman who is hesitant in being called mom could be the one to find out if she is being called mom to make up for either the foster mother being dead or the foster mother being alive yet far from a nurturing mother type. This could also provide insight for the woman being hesitant in being called mom on how to gently let down the daughter's friend calling her mother while letting the daughters friend know that she would still be there for her to support andor encourage her in other ways. The woman being honest enough to admit why she does not want the foster child to call her mom could also set the former foster child and now adult free to seek out someone else who would more willingly provide that spiritual nurturing connection she craves. Judging the woman who does not want to be called mom and implying she must hide her feelings could run the risk of the former foster child finding out how she feels anyhow without at least the gift of honesty in how the woman is feeling. Yes, this would be potentially harsh, yet a multiple number of former foster children are probably much more emotionally resilient and emotionally tough than what they are being given credit for. Additionally, a man or woman, whether adopted put in foster care or not adopted might learn how to be more emotionally resilient and independent of whether a mom or dad figure is in their life if they were forced in life to grow up without either parent andor were forced to become independent of mom and dad by both mom and dad passing away in life by the time said man or woman was of a certain age. My point of my lengthy comment-Carolyn Hax is thoughtful and considerate in her comment but in the long term the former foster child would be better served being told the truth of how the friends mother feels so that the former foster child and now adult could be more aware and in the know to make a decision on if she wants to seek out someone else in her life for a surrogate family connection andor if she wants to resolve what she is being told in other healthier more constructive ways. Again, I understand that my comment is definitely going to be in the minority yet I felt compelled to understand where the woman who was brave enough to admit why she does not want to be called mom was coming from and to illustrate that there are former foster children who are more emotionally resilient/emotionally tougher of being use to being independent of a parental figure andor substitute family member than they might be given initial credit for by some well-meaning people.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-what-part-of-this-isnt-working-dont-you-understand/2018/11/19/2be2c89a-e9f6-11e8-b8dc-66cca409c180_story.html?utm_term=.411d601ad3de

Carolyn Hax Former Foster Child and Boyfriend Girlfriend Article November 19, 2018 at 1159 pm

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-what-part-of-this-isnt-working-dont-you-understand/2018/11/19/2be2c89a-e9f6-11e8-b8dc-66cca409c180_story.html?utm_term=.411d601ad3de

creative fiction storytelling idea; a tv episode is created by the year 2023 andor sooner based on one of Carolyn Hax's articles.

0 notes

numberonetrashcollectorus-blog · 6 years

Text

instant car insurance quote uk

"instant car insurance quote uk

instant car insurance quote uk

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

RELATED QUESTIONS:

Provisional to Full license insurance?

I am 17 years old on provisional license and about to take out insurance for my car. I received a quote from Quinn Direct for about 1050, but I wanted to know what will happen when I pass my test and have full license? Will I have to pay more?""

""How much is insurance on a 1995 jeep wrangler 4x4 for a 16 year old male that lives in DOuglasville, Ga?""

I am currently 16 and I am looking into buying a Jeep Wrangler 4x4 5 speed with a 3 inch lift. How much on adverage would insurrance be for me being a male? I live in Douglasville, Ga if that matters.""

Estimate on drivers insurance?

Hello, i'm 16 years old and about to get my license any ideas on how much insurance would cost me? My family has Allstate and i can qualify for the good student discount.""

How do i obtain individual short term disability insurance?

I got an offer from a small firm but they do not offer short term disability insurance. I want to have one just incase I get pregnant and need to take a maternity leave so I get paid during the maternity leave. I've called few insurance companies and they dont do individual short term disability insurance? What's my best option? Any ideas? Thanks

What 7 seat cars have the lowest insurance group rating?

Looking for a new car for our expanding family and want to find something that's low on insurance. The lowest two I've found so far are the Fiat Doblo (Group 3) and the Nissan Cube (Group 4). Does anyone know of any other low insurance 7 seaters? Thank you! :)

I am retired federal employee & want info on car insurance rates?

MotorBike Insurance For CBT...?

""If I report an auto insurance claim under my comprehensive, does it count against me?

Not sure whether to report an damage to my vehicle. I estimate the cost to be about $ 500.00 +. My deductable is $ 500.00. Any info will help :)

How to obtain depreciation from insurance company?

I had a roof claim at the end of the year for $45K. Ultimately the roof failed and damaged the interior of the home as well. The insurance company sent an initial check for $38K, and there is $7K in depreciation as a hold back. Once the work was completed I sent the insurance company a final invoice from the contractor for $44K. The invoice listed all of the work done and a grand total. The adjust is asking for line item detail around the charges. My contractor is telling me this is a ridiculous request and won't provide. So now I am sitting here with an adjuster who won't budge on their stance and a contractor who won't help. Are there any hard and fast rules on how to obtain the depreciation funds. In the couple of claims prior to this over the years, all I had to turn in was a generic invoice. I am at a loss and need to get those funds to close this deal out. I have full replacement value.""

What is public liability insurance? where can i get one?

im applying for business permit and one of the requirement is public liability insurance.

Car insurance want to know the outcome of trial?

So 2 years ago I won a court case against someone who crashed into me. They Never Never helped me in court at all. I didnt even get to use it After the car crash since the other person insurance expired. Anyway they now sent a paper asking What happened in the case.why?. What can they gain from it? And further more I am not in that car insurance anymore. I haven't been for months.

Car insurance coverage?

So, my car was stolen from my driveway and was found crashed into two houses in a few towns over. My insurance policy doesn't cover theft/vandalism but it covers collision. Since my car was recovered from the theft but ultimately ended up in a collision, shouldn't I be covered? Professional opinions only, please.""

Cheapest way to get car insurance ?

I need to insure my car in order to be legal, but i do not want to pay a lot for insurance if the car isnt worth anything, its not worth much but its AWD and gets me where i need to go. Are there any companies that offer low payments for a piece of paper showing i have insurance that i can show a cop if i get pulled over so i wont owe 1500 bucks to the state?""

Crazy insurance rates wtf?

I am a new driver just got my license. To add me to their policy its going to be an additional $330 a month! The car is only worth 5,000. What should i do?""

How to get health insurance for a pregnant woman in California that is a LEGAL immigrant?

Ok, my fiancee is pregnant. She's a legal resident, but from what I understand, she isn't supposed to use any type of public benefits (aka welfare) and we really don't want to either. I have company health care (HMO), but my company won't pay for her, and for me to add her onto my plan is like $900 more a month (IT IS INSANE!!!!!). She doesn't work as she is a stay at home mom. We are not married, but we were planning on an October wedding before she found out she was pregnant (7 weeks), I imagine we are still going to stick to our plans. How can we have this baby? I make $36,000 and live in San Diego. This would be our 2nd child, I can barely make ends meet. Before you judge me about having another kid without the true financial means, she was on birth control for 2 years. We don't know how this happened, but I guess it's not true 100% protection. Are there any insurances we can get? How can we get help with this baby? What can we do? Thank you for your help.""

I and my friend were thinking to buy a car. He is much older than me. How should we do insurance in this case?

In this case who should be primary driver on insurance policy? me or my friend? How does it matter in terms of insurance premium? My friend will be driving the car much more than me.

Car Insurance?

How does the car insurance work here in NYC, I don't fully understand, if you have AIG how much does insurance go up for your parents if you are 17. I've heard 1500-2000, (Is this true?)""

""Does your car insurance go down when you turn 25? If so, how much...?""

Does your car insurance go down when you turn 25? If so, how much...?""

Complete details of different insurances in USA?

Domain Knowledge of different types of Insurances of USA?

Motorbike Insurance/Tax/SORN/MOT need help!?

Hi, I recently bought my first motorbike a few month in advance of my 17th birthday, with the intention to ride it once im 17. When i got the bike, it had no MOT or road tax and it was registered as SORN (meaning it was registered as being off the road). So i filled in the registration document, rang up the DVLA and re-registered the vehicle as SORN again. The thing i would like to know is, when it comes to the time of my 17th birthday, in what order do i get each of the things, for example, would i get the MOT before the roadtax and if so how would i get my bike to the MOT centre without having roadtax, and would i still be able to get insured on an untaxed bike with no MOT? So basicly, what order do i get the insurance, MOT and roadtax in? Sorry i hope this made sense i have tried to describe it in the best way possible, thanks for any help.""

Can anyone recommend any car insurance companies to me that are pretty cheap?

Just bought a new car yesterday and need to get it insured before i go pick it up. I'm a 19 year old female and passed my test on august 27th last year so havent even been driving a year yet...dunno if that helps at all lol the cheapest quote i got so far is 920 annual...does anyone think this is the cheapest i'll get.

To get a car insurance quote do they need my social security number?

I called an insurance company and they asked for my social security number. I gave it to them and my mother got mad at me. Are they suppose to ask for it for a quote?

What types of insurances are there?

Like im not an adult or anything but I want to know how many insurances are out there. Please list them. Thanks. P.S. I know water insurance, health insurance, car insurance, and I don't know anymore!""

Child support/car insurance?

Ok so I just got my liscense and I bought half my trck and my mom bought the other half. So is it right for my dad not to pay for my insurance? And does child support cover car insurance. . .plz just give me your opinion/facts on the whole ordeal.... Have not found job just turned 15..btw Thank you all

Where can you get cheap car insurance after serving a drink driving ban?

I think it is so unfair to hype up the premium.

Evansville Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47703

Buying sunglasses using health insurance ?

hi i am trying to buy sunglasses using my health insurance because aetna health insurance allow me to buy sunglasses on their charge, a lot of my friends did it this way, but every time i call a store they say that they don't do that!! any info ? thanks""

""Car insurance, do you have to be insured to drive another person car?""

My boyfriend sister wants to borrow my car for 6 weeks and there is no insurance on it. But if I was to insure it for myself, would his sister be able to insure but she has no insurance on any car. Does she have to be insured on another car for her to use mine. Hope that makes sense.""

""Planning on buying a newer car, wondering how much my insurance will go up or if it will at all?""

Right now I have a Ford mustang, and i'm paying about $800 every 6 months, i'm planning on getting a 2006 Grand Prix so since it's not a sports cr but it's newer will my insurance rate stay the same? Will it go up? Or am I lucky and will it go down?""

Do I have to make a down payment on my auto insurance?

I am going to get insurance through State Farm and I was wondering if I will have to make a down payment on the insurance and if I do how much will it be?

Car insurance not at fault?

I recieved a letter from my auto insurance who finished their investigation regarding my claim (minor accident @parking lot of a store with another vehicle) and according to them I am 0% at fault. The other party's auto insurance is still conducting their investigation. If the other party finds me at fault then what happens next? The reason why I ask is I got laid off my job in February & I do not have the funds to pay and it's been hard to find a job that pays a decent rate to help me live here in northern California. Your assistance greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Why should each of these people get insurance?

When you are broke in what order should a , young married couple without children, 18-25 single person or single 18-25 year old parent purchase different types of insurance? Why?""

How much will i pay in car insurance for a used mid range priced vehicle?

i am a 20 year old single mother who lives with her parents and works full time.

Canceling Car Insurance?

Have a RAC car insurance,just sold my car which was insured by rac and bought another.called them saying that car is sold and have another and want to insure it with them to save time looking for a best quote again,they said they cant find it on the system therefore they cant insure it,but to cancel insurance i have to pay them.why should i pay them if its their fault they cant insure it.What can i do to get rid of them not paying a penny for nothing?thanks,your help guys will really appreciated""

Can my parents exclude me from their auto insurance?

My parents have Country auto insurance (I'm assuming Countrywide, they said the one on the commercials ) I'm 16 and I feel it's my choice whether I get my license like every other kid out there, but my parents won't let me because their rates will go up. I know some insurance company's can exclude certain people from their plans, will my parent's insurance company do that for me? I really don't want to go through the hassle of calling them going on hold explaining it correctly etc. Please let me know! Thanks.(:""

Best Child insurance plan?

Which insurance plan should will be best for child , including study and marraige?""

Help i need cheap auto insurance.?

i have a 2001 pontiac grand prix gt and i am 19 years old and i live at zip code 48726 i need cheap car insurance can you help please

What is one way insurance?

what is one way insurance and two way insurance? I am having trouble trying to find out what it is. can anyone explain this to me?

How does Driver's License affect insurance in Washington State?

I'm 18 and just recently moved in with my grandparents so I can go to school. I would like to get my driver's license, but they are telling me I can't because it would make their insurance rates go up. I don't think that makes any sense because I don't have a car, and I don't drive theirs. Would me getting a driver's license affect them at all actually?""

Is there a way to not have auto insurance when you will not be driving your car for a year?

I have a car loan that I still owe $15,000. I will be going to Mexico for a year and, therefore, will not be driving my car for a year. Is there a way to just insure the loan so that if the car starts on fire by itself or something I'll still be covered? If so, how much does that cost?""

What is the Best & cheapest insurance in Texas?

I drive a 1989 Toyota Camry, I just go to and from school (less than 2 miles away) i only drive the car like Mon. & Wed. and yet i have to pay like 150 for car insurance, in 6 months of paying, i pay what my car is worth. So i wanted to know is there any cheap insurance i dont care if they suck or anything like that, i just want something below 100 dlls. so please tell me which insurance you use and how much you pay a month that would really help. Thank you in advance -Angela""

Buying health insurance for the first time?

I'm looking to buy health insurance, but not sure what type to get. I'm very healthy and have no children so it would be just for myself. Should I do a co-pay plan? HMO or PPO? Not sure.""

""I am 20years old born in 1992, however to get cheaper insurance can i make my age at 1982 as a second driver?

What will happen when police stop you to do insurance check? If you are going to be showing your age at 28 born in 1982 instead of 1992 insurance is suddenly cheaper for cars. What will police see if you get stopped for insurance check? Also what can you say if they say why is your DOB 1982?

Wow does anybody else have insurance this cheap?!?!?!?!?

I just bought a2005 Suzuki GSXR 600 Sportbike ( high powered). I got my insurance and They quted me $7.65 every 6 months for liability and 75.68 for fukll coverage, which I got. I know some people that are paying 800.00 every six months for this bike. I have been with the company (State Farm) since I was 16 and have nothing on my record. I am 25 now. Anybody getting this good of a deal???""

Ii need a dentist with no money or insurance. ?

Hello every body how u doing? Me I'm good i just have a real deep situation i need help with. Okay I'm 33 year old female I'm here in san diego. I have had a rough life. Im n need of answers for dental. I haven't been to the dentist in years i need work. Its been so long and I'm inbarest to open my mouth. I'm not working and i have no money saved up. I live with my mom and brother which receive ssi so my momma and brother help me. And i have no insurance. I really need to smile again i don't kw where to start every thing neg shuts me down. So is there any answer for me.

My car has been broken down for some time do I need insurance?

My cars engine blew up in June. I could not find an engine I could afford at the time. I canceled the insurance due to this. I received a letter in the mail wanting proof of insurance for the state of Ohio. I have purchased a engine now but still haven't had anyone install, so the car is not operational. What do I do? Can I show the receipt for proof the the vehicle wasn't operational?""

""Where can I find affordable insurance for sickle cell, full time student?""

If possible, in the Washington DC metro area. School is really expensive and it's very difficult to afford all these costly insurance while at the same time paying for school and living expenses.""

Insurance for a 2010 Ford Fiesta Edge?

Hi, Im saving up to buy my first car and as it may be used for some fairly long commuting i was wondering what the insurance would cost, i will be shortly taking a driving test and so this would be useful information, as to help me save up the funds in order to buy the car and insure it, the car costs on average 8.995, but there have been cheaper models that are 08,09 etc so what would be a reasonable price for a new shape fiesta edge or style. Thanks 10- points today for the best answer....""

How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old from allstate in california?

does it also matter what kind of a car it is? I have a 1999 chevy malibu

Whats the best insurance company for young male drivers?

im 17. passed my test in sept this year. want to insure new citeron c1 1litre or 2001 or 1999 corsa expression 1 litre. whats the best insurance company. best quote is 3k so far.

Why did geico increase my auto insurance rate for no reason?

My renewed 6-month policy has increased by $120 for seemingly no reason. Haven't had any wrecks or tickets. I called geico to inquire, and was told that all rates in Texas have increased. Have other insurance companies rates increased as well?""

Evansville Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47703

How much do you pay for auto insurance for teen?

im 17 almost 18 looking to drive soon? how much would I pay if.... -no good student discount -3 cars -1 boat -live with parents under whom which ill have co-sign my insurance for now out of predictions, how much do teens usually pay for auto insurance?""

How can I lower my auto insurance rate in California?

Details: Licensed at 19/Now 25yrs old. I have a clean record but can't afford full coverage because it's in the thousands. Is it pricey for me because I'm Asian? I don't get it, I hear about people being fully covered for a whole year for less than $1200, but I only have basic coverage and I'm paying $1100 per year. Can anyone help?""

""Dont know how much car insurance will be, i will be a beginner driver?""

I am going to be driving in a year or two and i have been looking at Jeep Rubicons 4x4, 4 door im not sure how much insurace will be.""

Can I get Sprint Insurance?

OK, let's say that I buy a phone for cheap on ebay or radioshack, can I still go to a sprint store and get insurance on the phone or do I have to buy the phone directly at the sprint store in order to get insurance?????""

Average car insurance rate in Massachusetts?

I am a 18 year old female and I just recieved my license. I went to driving school (this included sit down classes and road lessons). I have good academic standing( my gpa would equate to an A+). Also I have never been in an accident during the time I have had my permit. I would like to know a decent average throughout Massachusetts without having to go on several online sites and fill out extensive questionaires just to get a quote (the questionaires are also asking me for the type of car the I drive and I don't own one yet. Although I will probably stick to American cars such as Ford). Can anyone help me? Please and thanks!

Wantings to buy Renter's Insurance?

I want to have renters insurance. How long do I have to wait to make a claim

First time Car Owner Getting Insurance?

I'm a college student, not living with my parents, which means I will need to start my own parents. and I'm looking to buy my first car, which might be an out-of-state title. Say I eventually, locked on a deal. The question is: Do I have to buy insurance before paying for the car. But then how does the insurance company assess the quote since I haven't had a car yet. Do I just tell them the make and year of the car I'm Going to buy for sure or how does it work? What if I bought the insurance, but the deal didn't work out, and I have to choose other car/ make/ year? Or, can I get it insured soon After I make the purchase? If so, what happens between I picked up it from the seller and driving it to get it insured. Do I get screw if I had an accident during this time. I probably sound pretty stupid by now.. but dude help me out here.""

How much would insurance cost for a 2013 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500?

I am currently 17 years of age living in a metro area with straight As in school. I have never had any previous speeding tickets and I am a defensive driver. My parents are cosigning with me in order for me to get the car. I work as a waiter at a very upscale restaurant, so I am able to make the payments. But will it be over $300?""

How much would it cost to insure a large SUV for a 16 year old?

I have always wanted this car: http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/crop/200608/2006-toyota-sequoia-1_460x0w.jpg The Toyota Sequoia. I know it gets crappy gas mileage, but ive seen worse. And plus Im not gonna be driving that much either. my school is very close to me, along with all my friends houses. But how much will insurance be at your best guess? Also, if I don't blow off gas, and waster it, how much money do you think I will pay per month in California? Dont try to tell me that I am not old enough to be behind an SUV, because 1) Im going to be learning how to drive from my parents in an suv, so i will have some experience 2) my parents want me to get an SUV 3) Im not a dumb a** whos gonna go 50 mph and try to cut a corner and flip over. Bottom line is, im getting an suv and thats that.""

Is it OK for someone else to do car insurance for me?

Basically, will it be fine (in legal terms) for someone else, a friend - to make car insurance on my behalf because I might be busy?? really important!! (im sorry about the tedium of this question)""

Are you required to have proof of insurance in a brand new car?

I juss bought a new car, and the cop pulled me over because he thought my tabs were expired and he asked for my insurance but i told him that i have insurance i just haven't listed this car yet because it's brand new, so he wrote me a ticket..is that legal?""

How much does car insurance cost on average for a 18 year old female drive in florida?

???????????????????

Has anyone ever had short term car insurance ?

how much is it ? i work alot in the summer so i only need a car for a month please help am new to this.

How do I get health insurance for my baby to be born in April?

I am self-employed, therefore have a limited health insurance plan just for me & my husband (In other words, no employer health insurance). To keep my premiums affordable, I have a very high deductible, no maternity coverage (I am paying cash to a midwife), very bare bones, in other words. Can anyone direct me as to what company/where to start? The one company I inquired with told me I could not even submit the application until my newborn was 32 days old. Is this standard practice? Thanks for your help. I really detest the subject altogether!""

Affordable health insurance?

So we make about 35,000 a year so I do not qualify for government subsidies. we bring home about $2,600 a month $900 house, $800 car (I've tried geting out but there least so we cant) about $400 for house bills water, electricty ect..., $150 cell phones $100-$150 in gas(to get to work) $100 car insurance, and that only leaves us with $100 dolars a month for food so we keep having to use our credit card just to feed our son which is another $75 dollars a month!. (we dont have house phone, cable, took our son out of pre-school and karate) So we end up with $25 (If I use the credit card for food) and yet the cheapest insurance I can find is $183 a month. CANT! is there anywhere that sells insurance for cheaper? I have and interview on monday but I cant afford daycare. I knot know what to do. help please""

Can you stay on your parents' health insurance?

If you are under 26 and get a job that offers health and dental insurance, can you legally stay on your parents' health plan? Refusing does not jepordize that, correct?""

""Are you 21 or younger, primary on car insurance, and been driving five years, is your insurance $100 or less?""

If you're not on your parents policy, have your own car, and been driving at least five years, how much do you pay for car insurance each month?""

""I am a 19 year old male, what is the cheapest car insurance?""

I am a 19 year old male, what is the cheapest car insurance?""

What is an average homeowners insurance quote for a house in Oregon? ?

We are interested in buying an 1800 sqft house built in 2009 in the Portland metro area. Would $800 a year be an good estimate?

AXA Equitable Life Insurance?

anyone have Equitable as their insurance company? Comments? Also, can anyone tell me about the Flexible Premium Universal Life Insurance Plan? THANKS!""

How much will AAA insurance go up if I get my license?

my mom and dad have AAA and I am 16 and I want to get my license. but my dad is telling me to just wait until i go to college since he will buy me a car then. he says the insurance will go up $1000 per month but i cant believe it. how much does the insurance usually go up after I would get my license. I wouldn't own a car and I wouldn't be registered for one.

Can i sign up 2 cars with the same policy? for car insurance or it has to be separate?

i have 2 cars and i have 4 years no bonus claim, and it was fine and everything, today the insurance company phoned me and said i can only use my 4 years claim on one car only and if i try insuring the other car it would be like no claim so it's like you just received your license with no experience. do you think i could sign one car with an insurance company and the other car with another insurance company?""

How much would car insurance cost for a 19 year old with a v6 chrysler 300 2012?

Please help me!

What is the average car insurance price for a new driver?

I have my driver licence almost eight months ago in NH. Now I moved to Mas and I pay about $ 210 per month for car insurance. I want to know if I can find cheaper or this not too bad for a new driver. I own a 2000 ford Taurus since two months. What do you think guys?

Approximately how much will car insurance cost me in the usa?

im 19 years old im getting a mazda rx8 2004 it has 55k millage on it. i will use my foreigner license in the states. im live in new york and im a student on an f1 visa.

Evansville Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47703

Insurance company offering me a check to settle? What should I do?

I was in a car accident, where the other driver was 100% at fault. We both have the same insurance. They reimbursed me fully for my car, reimbursed my employer for health expenses (I assume) and I didn't get hurt too bad min the accident besides some whiplash and scrapes on my hand. Today, I get a call and an offer of a $250 check for the inconvenience of being in an accident. It sounds kinda fishy, I thought this case was closed long ago, so I told her to send the offer, in writing, describing the details of this inconvenience check. What exactly is going on here and why would they feel the need to randomly cut me a check? Something doesn't add up.""

""Cheap Home Insurance Companies Orlando, Florida?

I used to be insured by Homewise Home Insurance but for some reason they cannot longer insured me and they are transferring me to another insurance company when my renewal comes around and increasing my premium by close to $300. I need to know right away the cheapest home insurance companies in Orlando... help..

What is the cheapest car for a 17 year old with cheap insurance?

Im nearly 17 and am looking for a car, of autotrader or something? Preferably cheap and cheap on insurance? Thanks""

Does anyone know how much the government's health insurance will cost per month for families?

Does anyone know how much the government's health insurance will cost per month for families? Everyone for the bill is so happy because they finally get affordable insurance, but I have yet to hear how much they will really be saving compared to private insurers? Thanks!""

""Car fender bender -insurance low balling payment, how to get more money from the insurance company?""

Had a fender bender accident and the other driver was charged, the insurance adjuster said the damage is $1500.00 and gave check (not yet cashed). Took car to repair shop (from the insurance approved list) the estimates were $2000.00 and $2800.00. How and what can be done to get the insurance to pay up more, so I can decide later when and where to get the car repaired? Thanks""

Can I get off of my parents auto insurance?

So when I got my license when I was 19 about two years ago I was automatically put on my moms nationwide insurance which was fine because I drove one of her cars but now she only has one vehicle and although I do still live at home I'm a full time student at a community college so she usually drives me around so she can keep the car so in order to save money would I be able to drop myself from her car insurance policy since I don't really drive anyway?

What's the best car insurance?

im looking for a car insurance that's cheap (affordable) so which one is the best one? That covers what the DVM ask for

Is AARP's Homeowners/Auto Insurance A Good Deal?

Mom's insurance company made a whopping raise in her premium claiming they have been under charging her for 58 years! She wants to switch to AARP for homeowners and auto insurance. Are they a good company to deal with?

Insurance&&Permitt???

Do you have to have insurance when you have your permitt. All i have is my permitt,and my grandma is worried about getting me insurance. Her insurance covers 65 and above. But my cousin didnt get insurance until she was 16 she thought that you didnt hafta have insurance until you got your license?""

What's the insurance like on an Acura RSX S-Type?

I'm just turning 16 and this's my 1st car(well actually my 3rd but the 1st one I've bought) and i know prices vary but i just want an idea of what my insurance will look like?

Cheap car to insure!?

Im 19 and soon to take my driving test in the UK, I will be 20 when I have done my test, I am taking the automatic test because I want to! , at the minute I have a classic Renault 5 1990 which I love , but I cant rely on it on long journey's because of its age my budget to buy a car is 2000 but im looking at finance aswell , the car has to be a hatch back?? not sure what to get""

I've been taken off my parent's car insurance policy. What do I do now?

I am 17 and I recently got into a serious car accident where my car was totaled. I got kicked out of my parent's car insurance policy because of this. My parents said that no insurance company is going to sell to me because I was in a serious accident while I was a minor. What should I do if I want to drive again? I can't drive a car without insurance.

Mr vice president my name is michael and i am in indiana. how can i afford health insurance michael?

i tried finding insurance but i can't even afford it. what can i do

Can anyone suggest me a auto insurance company?

i have japan based luxury car. my friend saying pay insurance in a good company. so i am searching company? thank you.

Can you get car insurance on someone who does not permanently live in your household?

Could I insure my sons car even though he only stays with me on the weekends. He is under 18 and can't get a policy himself

How much in costs would I be looking at and what car would you reccomend to get?

This is in UK and my first car. I'm getting a car at 17 but it needs to have these features: - Cheap on petrol - Cheap on insurance - Cheap to buy used like really cheap - Four doors (optional) Yeah so what would you recommended and how much would I be looking at in total costs per month including tax, insurance and petrol (excluding the price of the actual car). I will be using it around 3 hours a week.""

How much car insurance ?

Hi, i am a 17 year old. i am wondering how much could i realistically expect to pay for insurance on a Infiniti G35.. i understand it will be high.. but i will have a job , so im trying to play with the numbers to see if i can handle it. how much would it be a month? i understand the affects i have on it. 17 sports car foriegn car Male but i have a 3.0 gpa took drivers education. apparently these raise and the others deduct. how much could i realistically expect to pay a month.""

What is the best low cost health insurance for a small business owner with no employees?

I have two daughters, one fifteen years old in high school and the other is 21 and a college student. I am a 49 year old woman and in fair health. My husband is a Vietnam vet in fair health as well and will be eligible for medicare this year, so he will not need this insurance.""

Why do so many people complain about Health Care and not as much Car Insurance?

Why do people complain about the health insurance system when the car insurance companies rip people off just as much as they do?? Where are all the protesters? Most people act like the car insurance companies are doing you a favor when they are really not. They try to use unrealistic worse case scenarios to SCARE you into buying an expensive full coverage plan you do NOT need. They prey on your fears. So how come nobody questions the practices of Auto Insurance companies like they question the health care providers?

Insurance on a Subaru STI?

I am considering getting a Subaru STI but I was wondering about what insurance is going to be. I am going to call my insurance company to find out exact but first I wanted to make sure it's not going to be way higher. Here is what I have paid in the past: Age 17-18: 1998 Mustang GT $110 Age 18-20: 2004 Dodge Ram 1500 $105 Age 20: 2006 Subaru STI ?????? Based on what I paid for the other 2 vehicles what do you think its going to be? Thanks!

""BMW 318i 53 reg, insurance new driver?""

Parents may be buyign a new car, how much would it cost to insure a new driver on a bmw 318i 53 reg, about 30000 miles. Insurance would probably be on parents policy, 30+ years no claims, safe driving etc.""

I paid car insurance...?

I paid car insurance monthly, so I cancelled it today and they say there is a cancellation fee...is that correct and if so how much is it usually? Ontario Canada""

Is aviva car insurance website down?

aviva car insurance says its unable to process your quote? Its been doing this since yesterday:s I'm just looking at quotes for different cars, just looking what will be better for me, i don't actually want to get insured yet until I've found the best price! It just keeps telling me to ring them up!! Any ideas? Oh and btw ive tried changing my email address to see if i was just doing too many but it still comes up with it? And its not because its too high for me to be insured which ive seen from looking into it because some cars ive put in again because i lost the quote reference? Nothing works:/""

I need help health insurance help???

ok so i went to the doctor and found out i was pregnant. i live in california and have no health insurance. they gave me temperary medi cal for 30 days and i have to go apply at the cal works office. well i went and they told me i couldnt apply on my own im 19 that since i live with my mom she has to go in. she works alot though and its kinda harg for her to go. so is there any other way i can do it like online and mail in an application?? or do u guys know of any insurance i can get on my own??? please help??

Is A Ford Mustang a good car for a 16 year old?

Im 16 and Im getting my license in a couple of months. Im looking for a car and I really like mustangs. Im thinking about buying a 2003 or 2004 mustang in sonic blue. But will getting a mustang raise my insurance a lot and how much more than a normal car? Also, what mileage is bad on a mustang?""

Evansville Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47703

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-do-students-need-insurance-jose-warner/"

0 notes

leighasnotebook · 7 years

Text

Title - Hey Future Leigha ;P

So.. I'm broke as fuck. I can't even seem to get a job. A job at a place I dont even like but need. I barely even made it home from internship at the humane society in Indy. I am on BELOW empty. I tried to sell a galaxy s4 at disc replay to get me by and they wouldnt even take it because apparently theres something wrong with it. So that was dissappointing as fuck too. I've been forced to borrow money from my mom who I STILL live with. So apparently I dont even have the abilty to be independent right now. Sure Im in school but I cant even afford to put gas in my tank to get there and I still owe 1000 dollars or more to my school. I dont even know where Ill work after I get my certificate. Thats right.. CERTIFICATE.. not a actual degree. Still. I stupidly decided to get a credit card a few years ago and now I'm maxed out and cant afford to pay it off. I at least have gotten on a payment plan that will make the interest 0% and make my monthly payment lower. My phones fucked because I broke the goddamn screen on it. So no one can even call me unless its on the house phone and I'm not home all the time AND its a cordless that apparently has fucked batteries in it because it just shuts off after like 10 - 15 minutes. I shouldve never even gotten a stupid "smart" phone. All its done is make me feel guilty about the extra money my MOM is spending for it on the bill. And it is way more fragile than a flip phone. Sure the extra shit on it was fun but I dont even need it. I dont care if Im "stuck" in the old times. At least it was reliable. I have grown up in my life with a nice place to live and nice things but that just isnt me. I know when I live on my own I wont live in a nice place and I wont have nice things. Its as if Ive been blindfolded to my actual lifestyle to the point where I agreed to getting nice things. Things Id never be able to afford by myself. After my car got totaled I got a 12k settlement which I had my dad take care of because he wanted to take it to use to get me a new car. Well he decided to get me a fucking expensive newer car.. the accident happened oct. 1st 2013.. I ended up driving a rape van (huge burgendy van with bars on the windows) to and from Ivy Tech and work for about half a year or more before my dad decided to take out a loan for a Toyota Camry 2013! Why on earth would you opt to get me a expensive car like that when I cant even afford gas or live on my own!? Now Im fucked because I cant pay the car payment.. my dads paying it which makes him think for some reason that its his vehicle. No on the contrary it was his decision to spring for a newer car of which I am entitled to 12k of. so yeah now I have a investment in something I cant even use because the insurance is insanely high and I cant afford it. Sigh Im just so fed up with all of this bullshit. If I could sell everything I have right now and just start new, that would be ideal. Sell the fucking Toyota, use the money to pay off my credit card bill, pay off school and maybe have enough to secure a place for me and my dog to live. Because I am not a goddamn straight woman who has a boyfriend to pay for half of everything. I feel like alot of girls live with their boyfriends and get off easy. Well thats not an option for me is all Im saying. I can barely even find a lesbian whos responsible and even has enough income to hold up their half of living expenses.. I cant say shit about that right now since Im in the same boat but still. Even when I do (which I usually do) have all my resources I still cant find a responsible GF. Either way Id still be dependant on whoever I was living with to keep my place. Even if they were a roommate. Which I guess would be the same financially if it were a significant other providing half. anyway.. Ive been trying goddamn hard to get a job. I signed up for Rover.com to watch dogs or walk dogs for people but IDK if my background check came back clean. which it should because I spent extra money so that it would be. Beyond all.. I am seriously just fed the fuck up with trying to manage all of the bullshit that I have to. It feels like I need 3 of me to accomplish all the shit in front of me. I am overwhelmed I guess is what that means. I feel so useless in the world. The only thing keeping me from spiraling into a severe depression is the fact that Im going to school for something that I love doing. Knowing that in a month and a half Ill be graduating is whats keeping my head up. Other than that.. its my friends and animals that hold up the rest. Some days I for real just want to get drunk and say.. FUCK IT ALLLLL. which is kind of what im doing right now.. but guess what? my box of cheap ass wine is almost gone so this will be a short lived release until im fucked again.. and cant even go to a party I was invited to go to on sunday. Im writing very unhinged right now. I need a goddamn stupid dumb job. And Ive been trying to get one for months. Now its even harder without a cellphone. "hey yeah just call my house phone and let me know about that job" just doesnt jive well with me because ITS A FUCKING HOUSE PHONE.. better than nothing but its real fucked trying to get a job when you cant answer your phone bc you dont have one of your own. gaaaahahahahaha fuckckkckck Im just so fucking stressed. I feel like I cant accomplish anything with the materials I have right now. Even if I had some money.. Got a full tank of gas and paid off my monthly bills I still wouldnt just magically have a job. Even if I got my phone screen replaced. Goddamn and Ive tried going into places but apparently Im a dumbass and come at the wrong times. Sigh.. just. fucking. schedule. me. for. a. interview. its not that hard. Theyre like "oh yeah were hiring" but other than saying that sentence they are so fucking unhelpful. "oh did you apply online?" uhh duh yeah I did you fuck. Why in the fuck would I not fill out an application and expect an interview. Fuckin assholes.. like I get it.. youre busy. but hey you wanna know what would ease that? If I was working right now and could take some of the work load off. Everytime someone would call about a job I would be so informative and supportive because I know what its like. Plus if I ever feel like Im overworked- which is alot of the time at those quick turnover jobs- I WANT the person inquiring about a job to get the job. Why? because I need them to take some of my workload off. Thats how it happens at pizza hut at least. you start with a bunch of people and then they dwindle down to where everyone is being over worked and more workers are needed as to not kill everyone who still works there. sigh.. I dont even want to work at pizza hut again but at this point I will take any fucking job I can get. I am being nickeled and dimed.. just like that fucking book I had to read in school. Given, all of it was brought upon my by my own past hand. I cant do anything about the past and its legit my past self just going crazy on a credit card that has me so fucked right now. After I get these cards paid off I will NEVER EVER EVER have another credit card again. I cannot be trusted with it. Great that I know that now that Im in debt out my ass. Yeah yeah and I have this theory that I learn things in life by trial error.. and guess what.. IVE FUCKING LEARNED.. and now that I have im still super fucked. Usually my trial error didnt cause me this much detrimental pain and suffering. usually it was like touching a hot stove and it was over with. but no.. this has been a very slow stinging burn that wont let up. I know.. I know that I will have to kill myself working my ass off and not having any shred of a life to get out of this hole. but the thought of it just really really makes me sad. Not saying It makes me not want to get a job. because NO WAY I need a job ASAP like yesterday. like if someone walked up and would pay me 20 dollars to eat a worm I would. Because it would spare me the shame in asking my mom YET AGAIN for gas money. God I am so tired of asking anyone for ANYTHING. Its the last thing I want to do in fact. Theres only so much you can ask of someone before they decide they wanna say nope.. youre on your own. and you know? Im surprised my mom hasnt told me no yet. Shes really really helpful. I think she understands me but also just wants me to get a job already so I wont keep borrowing from her. Which is understandable completely.. and thats exactly what I want too. At least i dont just sit around getting drunk and stoned all day in my pajamas. Im actually trying here. Theres nothing more that I want to just have a steady income. I dont care what kind of shit I have to drudge through to get to that point. I am so able bodied and ready to sweat and work and give myself away to a corporation for money. But guess where Im going to get the gas money to get to that job? FUCK IF I KNOW lol. goddamnit. I have really done it this time. How did I let it get this bad? How did I let myself fall so far? I dont even have anything else to sell to disc replay and the only other things I have to sell are all my paintball equiptment.. and I dont even really know how I would go about doing that. Craigslist? idk. I am flailing..... my wings are clipped and i cant fly. I have maybe a few dollars in change right now. Man how I used to just throw it in a jar willy nilly when I had a job. Not touching it at all for months and months. and now its all I have. FUCK. my rope is covered in kerosine and its been on fire for months. Someone in this world needs to cut me a fucking break and give me a job. Just 1 fucking person to say "you got the job, heres your uniform, come in monday at 8". I have been able to keep my hope through the worst of situations in my life. I feel it wearing reaaally thin right now. I almost had to walk miles just to get home today. you know its bad when you cant even afford to drive home. When youre just waiting for your car to give out and its screaming "i need gas!!!" You actually make it home and you get out of the car and hug it and praise it. Thank you. Thank you so much for holding out on me. I will get you gas as soon as I can I promise. Its like if you were traveling by horse and didnt have any water or grains for it to sustain itself but it powers through for you. I feel like a huge bum slacker bitch. Like I shouldve worked harder. done this done that. And maybe I wouldnt have ended up in this tight situation. The only thing in this world that is mine is my body and my animals and the relationships I have with my friends. I'm going to call Pizza hut right now. Ive been trying to fucking get this interview scheduled and they keep being little bitches over the phone. Not this time. I wont let it happen. "oh were in a lunch rush" dude. no. Fuck off. lol. Not this time. BRB. ya okay same old shit.. OH the hiring manager isnt here. Okay I understand but why dont you ACTUALLY give them my name and number and HAVE them call me. I know I know I will call the HIRING MANAGER on monday. See? its just a let down. I will call monday and demand an interview. I am more than qualified for your dumb job. anyway.. I know my friends and family will always be around to help me out. But I am a very stubborn person and have always wanted to do things my way and on my own. asking for help is something that I hold as a last resort. In the situation im in I am at my last resort time. It takes money to make money. money for the gas- to go to work- to get the money- for the gas- to get to work. Thats a 2 week process in itself. once I get past that threshold Ill be more self-sustaining. GGaaah! Please.. UNIVERSE! Im begging you!! Give me a job! Please please please please please! I need to get back ontop of it all. Hold out hope... hold out hope... crunching gears inside me trying to keep that train moving. GO. keep the rusty gears going. Keep swimming like Dory says. I feel like im trying to keep swimming but im in a puddle barely sustaining life itself. Gasps of water into my drying gills every couple seconds. All the while "hold out hope, just keep swimming" goes through my head like a mantra. I go from being super hopeful and positive to super hopeless and negative. Sometimes I'm just on this mid-line pergatory where I dont know how to feel or how I should feel. I know that a lot of people deal with hardships like me. Usually just pushing all their feelings down day to day thinking.. eh ill figure it out. Somethings got to give in for me. things will be different and get better soon. This isnt the end of the world. Im not dieing.. yet. But there are times where no matter what your troubles.. you cannot just push it down anymore. You have to sit there and stare into the eyes of a skull and think.. things are going bad. This isnt how it should be. I shouldnt feel like this. Something is wrong in this equation because its not equaling out right. So here I sit. In my familiar place where Ive faced a lot of things in life. In the garage. (wow a disc replay commercial just came on the radio.. how ironic... fuck u guyz lol). Ive dealt with sooo much in this garage. Most of my epiphanies have happened in here. Most of my hardships. At least in my adult life. And when I wasnt in Terre Haute. Always staring at stuff in here. Listening to the radio. Smoking cigarettes. Drinking. Thinking. [insert link to In The Garage by Weezer here] I cant even explain the range of feelings Ive felt in this garage. Love, lust, loss, depression, happiness, worry, anxiety, calmness, anger, thoughtfulness, perceptiveness, desire, turmoil, empathy, regret, sickness, healthiness, Ive felt hot and cold, bad and good, and at the end of the day when I sit here. It feels so familiar. It could be anywhere. but in this little box on the planet is where all these things have opened up like a bud. So many conversations with friends, on the phone, in person. Oh so very telling and depending on if there was snow, dead leaves, flowers, or sun outside the dynamic would change ever so slightly. And as friends have come and gone, people have died or were born, this has been a constant place for me for the last eight years. After I caught a big fish, built a snow fort, or made a drunken dancing video to missy elliot this place stayed the same and was always here. I feel like im confessing a love affair between me and my garage right now.. but I wanted to express my gratitude to these four walls which I believe have absorbed a lot of the things I am talking about right now. I remember when I first started to dwell in this garage. I was still drinking and smoking on the down-low. Didnt want my mom to know. I would listen to the radio and write just like Im doing now except it was often in a notebook. Its the only way for me gain solace in my life sometimes. Love often drove me to worry as I listened to deftones, linkin park, or staind or anything that came on x-103. Id just scribble on page after page I would stop caring if it was legible... That shear fact that id stop caring in general was all I wanted. I wanted to release all my cares into a song or a feeling or a writing. What do I want? who do i need? who AM I ? Sometimes I never know. I dont know things alot. as much as Id like to believe I have every little thing under control.. I never have it all. this isnt to say that its a negative thing. Sometimes you simply cannot wrangle every little thing into a place you think it belongs. often things are flying like kites with brittle strings. they break off and float out of bounds yet still connected just not within reach. Its definitely angering at times. you think.. why cant i keep my shit in check? but if you think about it. maybe it was never "your shit". I really think its better to not stress over things that blow away. Youre in a spot you let shit fly and it ends up gaining its own separate current without you. You cant always be strong enough to keep everything where you want it. It doesnt work that way, you cant control everything. HELL sometimes you cant control anything. and I know how that feels. shit. right now I could still be walking on the side of the road away from my broken down car. holding up my thumb trying to get home. you cant hold everything down with a thumb tac or a bad attitude. things will happen and ya you probably could have avoided some things but I think things happen for a reason. Maybe to teach you that you in fact are not in control. That things are or arent just black and white. Reppercutions.. actions that lead to situations that you have to handle. Its all apart of one thing. you... its you. hah. I mean you make choices.. and theres always a second and third happening. In my case.. it makes me feel like im unintelligent when I make a choice and it causes something bad. Ex. If I were to have to walk home today.. my mind would have been full of .. "well thats because I didnt have enough gas" Well why didnt I? because I didnt have the money. Why didnt I? because I dont have a job. Why dont I have a job? because Im an irresponsible entitled person. I act like the world will bend to my whim when it doesnt work that way. When weve all got the same probability of things going our way. Why should I think I'm any different? why? because of all those times I made it home when my gas tank was below E? what about those times when I didnt get so lucky? that time my car stopped on a highway and I was late to work and I got fired? Its just this numbers game in my head. Will it be okay or not. I never know but my brain urges me to believe yes. youll be okay. and when im not i think well.. It was about a 50/50 that this would happen and I knew that deep down.. so I cant really be too mad right? lets just walk a few miles and get what i deserve. meanwhile I think about everything I could have done that wouldve lead to a different outcome. ya hmm. maybe if i had a job.. id have gas in my tank.. and this wouldnt have happened. maybe..hmm just maybe..? You know when you drive down a highway and you see a person walking it? You can gaurantee that that person is thinking... how could I have avoided this? That person is me that person is you. Walking on the grass on the side of the road.. looking at all the trash people discard from their car windows. Really slows your mind down when youre walking where you normally drive through. You see people zoom by who will get to their destinations on time. Who had the money and intellect to just buy some gas. We all have our days when were in the gutter. When I have mine, it forces me to slow down.. to really look at my life. Why did this happen.... why am I stuck and fucked like this again. Even though I magically made it home today on my below E tank I still see this as a wake-up call. It brings me back to the times when I didnt make it home. I felt like a lost dog. and ya I know.. poor me.. first world problems. Oh man Leigha had to walk 5 miles to get home because she ran out of gas in the automobile that she has available for her to drive 24-7 usually. And dangg. she even had a full meal before this walk.. poor her. I know I know. Its totally crap. Its not like I almost died or was starving and in a desert left to die. In reality, on this planet I am lucky. I am a lucky person. But to say that we still dont have our problems would be to say that anyone with a roof over their head was flawless. It makes me realize that yeah, first world problems are nothing to those in third world countries. But I shouldnt feel invalidated if I have room to improve my life. Everyone in this world has room to improve their lives. I am not solitary in this one bit. in fact I feel like I am unaware of tons and tons of stuff in life. Theres so many times when I just simply dont know something. Makes me feel like I dont know anything about anything sometimes haha. its like "oh you didnt know about this?!?!" uhhh no I didnt. Should I have? Woops? am I squandering my priveledge to learn about things I should know about? When it comes down to it. I am never done learning. I am never done growing as a person. I am so ignorant to so many things simply because I have never been exposed to them. I cant walk the earth acting like I have a grasp on everything when I dont. I dont know what anyone else goes through day to day around the world.. I cant compare my life to anyone elses if I've only lived my own separate life. I can relate to people of course but I do not think that anyone can fully understand how something feels unless it happens to them. sure ill say "oh yeah Ive felt that before" or "I felt like that when... etc etc" but I dont know how it feels through someone elses eyes, in someone elses shoes. What Im trying to say is that I have had some really really hard times. Personally I feel that they are HARD TIMES. For me and maybe me only. Maybe others would look at these "hard times" and laugh and say "HAHAH you think thats hard?". But that being said this is how I feel and it cannot be undermined by anyone. Beyond all these technicalities that I decided had to be stated, right now I feel as though I have entered the abyss. I feel like Im in a place that is neither here nor there. I am a real nowhere man who has no real nowhere plans. I used to want to get a tattoo that was the symbol for "nobody". It was a onyx or something I dont remember the spelling. For a long time I thought I was nobody. I thought I would just bend to the whim of anything or anyone. And at the time, I thought that was just me. Me was nobody since I felt like everybody but nobody at the same time. Then I thought.. hmm I dont think I should get this tattoo because what if someday I become somebody. And im glad that I didnt get that tattoo because I AM somebody. I guess there are sometimes that my past self is right about how my future self will feel. I feel like everyone is usually thinking about the future. How they will be, where they will live, what they'll be doing and who theyll be doing IT with (bow-chicka). And do you know what I think? I think that everyones present self is the best link to that future self. OBVIOUSLY. but think about it like this. You .. RIGHT NOW.. can have a serious effect on your future self. Not just with succeeding and blah blah blah boring shit like that. Listen. About 6 or 7 years ago I made a video of myself talking to my future self. I completely forgot about that video. I came across that video one day and HEY it was ME! I didnt remember it AT ALL. and as I watched it it really really felt like my past self was talking to me. it was SURREAL AS FUCK. and on point! Ever since that day I have been making videos to my future self. Even stating in the video that I know Im going to just be drunkenly watching this video. Which usually is also on point! hah. But I strongly suggest that more people do the same thing. maybe just check in with your future self every now and then and say hey. what the fuck is up?! I hope you arent broke as shit and running out of gas. haha. its actually pretty comical the stuff youll begin to find your past self saying to you. I think documenting your life is a really good thing. You can learn so much just by sifting through your past experiences that youve written down or video taped. Right now for instance I feel like I need some guidance. So I think I will revisit some of my past selfs videos and make another one. You talk about how youre doing and how youve fucked up and tell your future self about all of it. Then in a year or two guess whos giving you pointers? YOU! haha its really actually hilarious. who'd of thought that it would be what you said to yourself 2 years ago that would set your world straight. I think I should go revisit my videos now. I need some guidance. :D In other news. not doing so well right now. This writing has definitely helped. Leigha Horvath- Signing off. ;*

0 notes