#i’m so happy they’re together doing smosh again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

im-just-a-br0adway-baby · 1 year

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((I came up with this after watching the Smosh video a couple weeks ago. This is crack and not meant to be taken seriously.))

Felix and Pepa sat on the couch in the living room, giggling and kissing each other after coming home from a date. They assumed they were home alone, so they decided to hang out in the living room and have their private time together.

“I had so much fun, Felix! I hope to do it again sometime!” Pepa giggled as Felix moved her closer to him.

“We still have some time to have some more fun,” Felix replied as he moved closer to Pepa and began to kiss her.

The couple tasted each other’s lips as Pepa wrapped her arms around Felix’s neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Felix pushed Pepa on the couch as they continued to kiss each other. But before they could go any further, Bruno burst into the living room, interrupting their session and startling them.

“PEPA! FELIX! You would not believe what I just found!”

Pepa began to thunder as she got up from the couch. “I thought you weren’t going to be home until late!”

“Plans changed. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. But I found this weird story that I need the two of you to hear. I already lost most of my brain cells reading it!”

“...And you want us to lose brain cells with you because…?”

“Because this is something you both can see the stupidity in more than I can. It’s called “I Am Sad That My Child Isn’t Dark Skinned.”

That was when Pepa and Felix’s curiosity got the best of them. They sprang up from the couch and made their way to the office with Bruno. He opened the story on the family computer for them to see, but Bruno decided to read it out loud to them as Pepa and Felix sat on the open chair next to the desk.

“Throwaway account. I know I am going to sound horrible, but I finally need to tell someone. I have been feeling like this for more than four years. I am a white man, who is married to a black woman. I always knew I would marry a black woman, because that’s the only ‘type’ of woman I am attracted to.”

Pepa and Felix looked at each other with a somewhat disgusted look on their faces. “The only type of woman they’re attracted to!?” Felix said in disbelief.

“This is only like the first sentence and it’s already off to a bad start,” Pepa added.

“Then you’re in for a treat,” Bruno said before he continued reading. “I met my beautiful, wonderful, intelligent wife. We dated for five years before getting married. I love my wife, nine years together and I am still so in love. We have a four-year-old son. When she gave birth, he was white. But aren’t all babies?”

Pepa and Felix could not help but laugh at the last sentence as Bruno paused to let them. “That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve heard all this week!” Pepa blurted out.

“I can only imagine how stupid the rest of this post is going to be,” Felix added.

Bruno continued to read the post. “But the months passed, and his color didn’t change. Now he is four and he looks just like me. With blue eyes, blonde hair and his hair isn’t even curly or afro. He looks like a little white boy.”

“You wouldn’t be upset if we had a kid and they looked more like you than me, right, Pepi?” Felix asked after a brief pause.

“Absolutely not! Our children will be beautiful no matter which one of us they look like.”

“Even if they don’t look like either of us?” Felix joked.

Pepa gave her boyfriend a glare. “I wouldn’t push it that far.”

Bruno continued reading the story. “My wife often gets upset because people assume she is babysitting, or that she is the step-mom. I try to comfort her as much as I can. I pretend I am so happy he looks like me. But the truth is that I am gutted. When she was pregnant, I envisioned a black/brown skinned kid. I was excited to share ‘black culture’ with him. I am into things that can be classified stereotypically as ‘black’. And so is my wife.”

“The fact that he said he called that kind of stuff ‘stereotypically black’ things, I’m lost already,” Felix interrupted.

“The other day, she bought him a black doll. I asked her what the point was since he looks white. She just said to me ‘He looks white, but he isn’t and I want him to be part of my culture, his culture’,” Bruno continued reading.

“Why would you be upset because your wife bought your son a black doll!? Just because he doesn’t look black doesn’t mean you can’t buy him a black doll!” Pepa said.

“Besides, even if both of the parents were white, why would buying your child a black doll be an issue!?” Felix added.

“I have NEVER said anything to anyone, or treated him as if he wasn't my son. I love him. I wouldn’t trade him for any mixed toddler. But I still have this feeling that I wish, when I took him to his appointments, outside in the park, people would just see that he is not one hundred percent white.”

“He probably thought about trading his son at some point, though,” Pepa snarked as Felix and Bruno could not help but laugh.

“Look, I would not trade my son for a mixed toddler, but I thought about it many times in his life,” Felix said, attempting to imitate the original poster. Pepa and Bruno continued to laugh before Bruno could finish reading the story.

“My wife wants another baby, but I have been saying no, because I am scared baby number two will also be white.”

Pepa and Felix laughed again. The fact that someone did not want to have another child because he was scared it was going to look white was enough for them and Bruno to burst into so much laughter that they felt like the entire Encanto could hear them.

“So if they do have another child and the second child ends up being white, will he actually disown them?” Felix asked as Pepa continued laughing.

“Maybe him not wanting another child is a blessing because that will mean one less child will be disowned by their parents,” Pepa replied, still laughing.

“There’s an edit to the post, so there’s more,” Bruno said before he read the edit. “Since some of you cannot understand what you are reading, this only describes my feelings, NOT my wife’s feelings. She and her family have no problem with our son’s skin/hair color. Her labor was so awful, that she is just happy she is just doing fine, and is there for her son. Yes she gets upset at the strangers’ comments. You’d be surprised how many strangers open their mouths like ‘did they give you the wrong kid… take a DNA test… check if there was a black kid born that day… where’s the mom… ma’am I need to see an ID to check if this is really your son… Hey, kiddo, do you know this woman’ etc. etc. Even my own family ‘Oh he had the good genes’. Of course she is going to be hurt. But she never ever expressed or showed any resentments. I am only talking about myself. I have never discussed this issue with my wife. Because I am afraid she would leave me or at least be super upset and mad at me.”

“She should leave him,” Pepa said.

“Everything about that post just screamed ‘fetishize’ to me. I lost at least five brain cells just from you reading that to me,” Felix added.

“I’m sorry, chicos, but I found this so funny and wrong that I had to share it with you,” Bruno replied.

“Felix, didn’t you date someone when we were in high school that thought the exact same way?” Pepa asked.

“I did. I remember her saying that I was ‘physically her type’ and I knew exactly what she meant. She only dated black men prior and even after we dated. It was one of the weirdest dating experiences I ever had.”

“I probably would have been just as annoyed, if not more, if I was in the same situation. I don’t understand how anyone could have that mindset.”

“I actually want to read some of the comments now.”

“I can read some of them for you,” Bruno said before he began reading. “It’s so funny how he wanted to experience blackness through his son. He has a black fetish, married a black woman, has a biracial son but is disappointed his appearance might not give him access to some aspects of blackness and by extension neither can he. What a world!”

“That is true!” said Pepa.

“I’m just still caught on the fact that he wants to share ‘black culture’ with his son but he didn’t want his wife to buy him a black doll because it didn’t look like him,” Felix added.

“Another comment says ‘I wonder if his wife knows about his fetishization of her skin color’,” Bruno read from the post. “And there’s a response to it that says ‘Extremely doubtful, as he mentioned he didn’t tell his wife his feelings about his child’.”

“I’m actually scared his wife is going to find out from this post,” Felix commented.

“I’m even more scared that his child is going to find this post when he grows up and ask his dad if he never loved him,” Pepa added.

“There is a high chance that’s going to happen. Everybody can find everything from everyone these days,” Bruno mentioned.

“And that’s exactly why I’m terrified for this child when he’s older.”

“Can we read one more comment before we go upstairs?” Felix asked.

“Okay; here’s one more that I feel like would hit Pepa pretty hard,” Bruno answered before he began to read the comment. “What he isn’t getting is that the child is mixed, regardless of what his skin color is. He has just as much chance of passing on his mother’s genes when he has kids, as he does his father’s. I remember this one Maury episode, the father didn’t believe the child was his, because the baby was ‘white’, both parents were ‘black’. The child was his. Genetics are interesting and something that has been recessive for generations, can pop up.”

Pepa could not help but pause at that comment. So many things were going on in her head that she did not know what to say next. All she could think about was all those times people asked if she was adopted or comments wondering if Alma cheated on Pedro which was why Pepa was ginger. It took a while for her to put her thoughts together, but she then was able to talk after organizing them.

“This did hit me as much as you said, Bruno. I’ll never forget about when we were children and all the other kids in our class would make comments about how I wasn’t actually your or Julieta’s sister because I didn’t have the same skin tone or hair color as you guys.”

“And Julieta would be the one to constantly tell them that we’re triplets and came out of the same womb?”

“Exactly. And how people would assume we had a different father because of that since I looked like neither mama nor papa.”

“Those guys were absolute cabrons. Genetics really are interesting, like the commenter said, and you looking the way you do can be a combination of so many genetics from your family,” Felix added.

“That reminds me of that time when we were teenagers when you asked mama about papa and why you didn’t look like either of them while Julieta and I did, and mama showed a whole photo album of our family tree and it showed several great-grandparents that looked just like you,” Bruno explained.

“It did make me realize that I really was a Madrigal, and mama showed a couple of pictures of her when she was younger, and how I had a similar smile, nose shape, and face shape to her and papi’s eye shape.”

Felix grabbed Pepa’s arm and signaled Bruno to let them know they were going upstairs. Bruno gave them the thumbs up and Pepa and Felix made their way to her room as Bruno sat back down to read more weird internet stories.

#encanto #disney #disney's encanto #encanto fanfic #encanto fanfiction #crack fic #pepa madrigal #felix madrigal #bruno madrigal #modern au #crack fanfiction #crack fanfic #encanto modern au #tw anti blackness #tw black fetishization #la familia madrigal #reddit stories

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knollridge · 4 years

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Long Day

Smosh

Damien x Reader

1,583 wordcount

Hello!! Second attempt at fic writing~ thank you so much for the love on my first one, I really appreciate it ❤️

No warnings, just absolute fluff involving a rough day that (y/n) is having and how Damien helps/comforts you through it in which I may or may not have heavily projected quarantined touch-starvedness through

Enjoy!!!

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Pressure builds in your head as you feel an onslaught of angry tears make their way to the front of your face.

Your skin is lit, as if by match-strike, with the dirty pink hue of heat and frustration.

Your whole body screams and you want to do the same.

But you can’t.

The toilet a few stalls down flushes and you hear the regular clicks, clatter, and rushing water of someone leaving the bathroom. Every part of your concentration goes towards suppressing what should have been a pleading and violent sob. Tears spill hotly down your flushed cheeks and you know that you’ll need more than the short period allotted for break to fix this.

But you don’t have that kind of time.

Your phone light burns just a bit too brightly on your stinging eyes as you search your screen. You have 4 minutes to pull it together. Feverishly pulling at the toilet paper roll you take immense notice of how loud the uneven cardboard cylinder makes every single turn, but choose - in an effort of timeliness and frustration - to ignore it.

2 minutes.

You grab eye drops out of your bag that Olivia thankfully gifted you last Smoshmas in an amazingly elaborate pun and dot them in each eye.

1 minute.

One last check in the mirror, and even though your eyeliner and mascara are gone, you have to call it good.

You briskly walk out of the bathroom and bump directly into Damien.

“Woah hey (y/n) I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He places an apologetic hand on your upper arm as his soft, brown eyes peer into yours.

“Hey, sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going” you mumble as you quickly cut the line between your shared gaze and turn to walk away from him.

“No worries! I wasn’t being as vigilant as I normally am, it’s been a long day already” he continues with a light sigh as he moves in to walk next to you. “Looks like its getting to you too, are you doing okay?”

Wanting to burst back into tears at the thought of anyone - much less Damien - noticing and caring about your emotional state, you keep focus on your footsteps and try to choose your words carefully. Right, left, right, left...

“Oh yeah I’m fine!!” your voice catches a small hitch as an upbeat persona takes over. “You’re right, it’s been a looong day hahah.” You turn your head towards him and flash a wide and almost believable smile with your eyes squinted closed so he can’t read them any further. Damien studies your expression, his thick brows coming together in question of your sincerity. A knot begins forming in your stomach as you realize he’s been looking at you without your makeup on. God, he knows. I mean, who loses their makeup halfway through the day?? It’s only a few more doors down to the conference room, I’m sure he’ll forget about it by the time we-

You don’t have time to react as Damien’s hand grips your forearm and pulls you into a small room and closes the door. You can’t see anything until you hear him flip a switch revealing a tight, three-walled room shelved from top to bottom with miscellaneous board games...and you and Damien, with standing room only, in the middle of it.

“Wai- what?” You let your arm drop away from his grasp, still feeling the weight from his hold on you. It knocks into a folding table topped with props directly behind you and as if for safety, you wrap both hands around the edge. “What are you doing? The meeting is going to start back up again soon and Ian is gonna be pissed if we show up late, especially if- if he...thinks we’re goofing off or something...” Your voice trails away as you see Damien move towards you. Leaning forward slightly, he rests a hand on the folding table, making the little space between you achingly overt. Eye-level with you now, he raises his head to look you full in the face.

“I don’t want you to worry about all that right now” he says in a low voice. “I want to make sure you’re actually okay.” Tears well up in your eyes and you immediately look down, causing them to spill to the floor. “Oh, (y/n)” Damien says in a hushed tone as he pulls you into a hug. “It’s alright, I know that meeting got really hectic.” You can’t help but to collapse into his shoulder. Each broken breath that you take feels cradled and cared for as his arms wrap tightly around you. You both stand for a minute, waiting for your sobs to subside while he lightly rubs his thumb in a circle on your back.

“I-I’m so sorry about this” you finally manage to say while wiping tears from your face. Damien loosens his embrace and places a hand back on the table, by your side.

“Don’t ever be sorry for feeling whatever it is you’re feeling. It’s like I always say, you should take 5 minutes each day to allow yourself space to just let it all out.” His gentle admonishment makes you feel more at home at Smosh than you’d felt all day. “I’m just sorry that those five minutes happened to be right now” he chuckles.

There’s something about his smile that brings on a small one of your own. “Oh gosh, I was already halfway there before you pulled me in here” you joke. “That meeting was supposed to be pretty big for me since they want me to do more with the scripts and stuff now...and it just seemed like everyone was talking over me and it was very loud and I really didn’t feel heard or understood...it was just a lot.” You think back on your initial reaction and realize you might have attributed a bit too much to the moment, but you see Damien nodding his head in understanding.

“Yeah, I noticed that you could barely get a word in and I was about to say something, but Ian called for a break and you ran out so fast, I was a little concerned.” Your mild surprise is clear on your face, and its almost as if Damien can read your mind. “You’re not as slick as you think you are (y/n)” he says with a growing grin. “First you rush off without saying anything to anyone, then you bump out of the bathroom and you won’t even make eye contact with me but I can still see that those pretty little wings that you do everyday are missing...I knew something was up.” You hope your slight embarrassment is covered by the subsiding red on your face from crying just moments ago, but you’re unable to keep a smile from appearing there as well. After feeling so invisible for most of the day, you can’t believe that he noticed as many of the little things that he did.

“You sound like a detective” you playfully scoff as you go to push his shoulder away. You end up resting your hold on his upper arm as you continue. “But...thank you...so much, for even bothering to check on me.” Your face is turned towards him, but your eyes fall to the details of his Jordans and your Converse in between words to keep focus on your train of thought. They’re so close together. “I definitely wouldn’t have made it through the rest of the meeting very well if you hadn’t. Thank you for making me feel at home.” Damien’s dark brows are tilted up towards the middle of his face, almost in confusion. He brings his hand to your upper arm as well, resting it right below your shoulder. You can feel his thumb just underneath the hem of your sleeve as he gently rubs it back and forth.

“Oh, (y/n)...that’s all I- that’s all we ever want for you. Any of us here. You’ve worked so hard and I know Ian was over the moon to bring you on as a writer...it really was just a weird and hectic start to the meeting.” You can barely fight back a new wave of tears and have to wipe a few stray ones away before they reach the ever-growing smile rising on your face. “Oh man, here you go again,” Damien teases. You let out a short laugh and try to gather yourself with tissues from your bag.

“I can’t go again! We don’t have anymore time!” You say contently, and slightly stuffed up. He can’t keep his eyes off your newfound happiness in the moment, but still takes the opportunity to rag on the situation a bit more.

“We never had any time (y/n)!” His eyes follow your smile as you laugh in agreement. “But I’m glad we made some because you deserve it. What do you say we go into that meeting and knock ‘em all out with your killer scripts?” You gratefully pick up an impression of confidence from his words and nod your head. “After you then” he says with a graceful twirl of his hand towards the door.

Your hand placed on the knob, you take a deep and thankful breath knowing that Damien has your back going into this meeting. You turn it open and can’t wait to begin sharing what you’ve created with the rest of your Smosh family.

#damien haas x reader #damien haas fanfic #damien smosh #smosh damien #damien haas #smosh fanfic #damien haas fluff fic #damien haas angst fic #damien haas fluff #damien haas angst #smosh angst #smosh x reader #smosh fluff #smosh games damien #damien haas fic #damien haas smosh

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siren-queen-imagines · 4 years

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First Date Jitters

This was requested by a lovely, lovely anon!! “Heyo! Can I request a Damien x reader where the reader is petrified of dating, like she’s never herself on them and they make her crazy anxious and quiet and panicky... but Damien really likes her and wants to take her out. Basically being friends with her enough to ease her into a date... something real cute ☺️” So my dear anon, some of it is slightly different? But regardless, I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

(gif by me)

You smiled as you listened to Courtney telling you about the person she’s going on a date with in the next few minutes. You were happy for Courtney because she deserves someone who was just as amazing as she was. You helped her to get ready and now you were killing a few extra minutes before she had to leave.

“So when are you gonna go out on a date, Y/N?” Courtney asked, despite knowing why.

“Oh, no. No.” You insisted, using your hands to brush it off as you spoke. “Not anytime soon.”

“Why not?” She offered you a comforting smile. “You’re amazing and I know someone will see that if someone hasn’t already.”

“I don’t like them, Court.” You whined. “You remember when Shayne told us his date Shayne horror stories? I’m like, slightly worse.”

“Come on, you are not that bad.”

“Not only am I almost a different person, I just get weird. I internally panic and I get so anxious and that makes me quiet and that ruins it because the person I’m with assumes I’m not into them.”

“Y/N…” Courtney grabbed your hand and held it in hers. “First of all, we’re our own worst critics. You’re probably not as bad as you think. And second, it’s okay to be nervous. If anyone doesn’t want to give you a chance to get comfortable with them so they can see how amazing you are, they’re not worth your time.”

“I’m starting to think no one is ever gonna wait long enough for that…”

Oh if you only knew. Courtney knew. She knew someone who would be that patient for you. And that person liked you; a LOT.

The alarm that Courtney had set to make sure she left on time went off, interrupting them.

“I gotta go.” Courtney said, pouting playfully.

“Go.” You encouraged her with a smile. “Text me after. Let me know how it went!”

“I will!”

You shook your head and smiled as she left your place. With a small sigh, you sat on your couch and turned on your Netflix.

=================================

“Hey Y/N.” Damien greeted you in the kitchen at work.

“Hi, Damien.” You replied with a smile, happy to see him.

“How’s it going?”

“Good. Just been hearing all morning about Courtney’s date last night.”

“Yeah. Same but with Shayne.”

“Oh, sounds like we’ll be switching off soon. Courtney will talk to you about it to get your perspective and Shayne will do the same with me.”

“Yeah.”

The two of you shared a laugh. Honestly, you’ve always liked Damien. Like, LIKED him. But you were almost scared to make a move...in the back of your mind, you always felt that you’d ruin that date and he’d go running for the hills.

Damien? Oh, he was totally into you. Like more than he thought he should be. So much that Shayne and Courtney and even Ian tease him about you when you’re not around. What’s not to like about you? You’re so sweet and he thinks you’re funny. You’re so humble and you both had quite a bit in common. But he had heard from Courtney that you have such bad anxiety when it came to dating...well, the first date at least. He wanted to ask you out so bad but he didn’t want to put you in a position where you felt anxious because of him. There had to be a way.

“Speaking of Shayne, he and I were gonna go to a movie tomorrow night? You and Courtney wanna come?” Damien asked hope filling his voice as the two of you headed back to your desks.

“Yeah. That sounds good. I’ll talk to Courtney.”

“Cool.”

Damien smiled at you brightly. It was instinct but he figured it out. Maybe a friend date would be a good way to ease you in...and having Shayne and Courtney there might help you to feel less anxious. He walked over to Shayne’s desk, pulling up a chair. He looked around for a moment before leaning in.

“So, I may have told Y/N that you and I were planning on seeing a movie tomorrow…” He said, his voice low enough to avoid being heard by prying ears.

=================================

The first stop on the movie night was to dinner. Courtney figured it would be a good idea to eat first so no one feels the urge to buy lots of snacks at the movies...and it also meant after the movie you guys could all go for ice cream.

The four of you sat around the table, talking about the shoot you guys did for Smosh Games earlier in the day.

“I don’t know, I feel like even though no one can beat Damien, there’s a chance he’ll have an off day when the day comes and you choose to volunteer instead of you being chosen or fighting it.” You said with a shrug, earning a laugh from Damien.

“Damien doesn’t have an off day when it comes to gaming.” Shayne playfully argued, his hand waving to accentuate his point.

“To be fair, I do have off days but it’s usually not on filming days.” Damien admitted with a small smile.

“All the more reason to volunteer until eventually you slip up!” You laughed.

The four of you shared a laugh.

“He’s more likely to slip up with you though.” Courtney blurted out as she thought out loud, while she played with her straw.

“Why?”

Courtney clearly wasn’t paying attention to the fact you were there because she said, “Because Damien likes Y/N.”

Silence filled the table. You looked at Courtney in surprise while Shayne’s mouth hung open. Damien’s deeply blushed face covered by his hands. Courtney looked up and realized that you weren’t Olivia.

“Oh my god, Damien, I’m so sorry!” She apologized, her hand flying over her mouth after.

“Y-You like me?” You asked Damien after a moment, your heart racing as you were now also blushing.

“Yeah…” Damien admitted, moving his hands away from his face. “Look, it’s okay if you don’t--”

“I like you too.”

“--like me-- wait what?”

Shayne’s mouth hung open wider, this time, with as best a smile he could get with it. Hell yeah, this was finally happening. He hoped this would work out and that’s why he agreed to this.

“I like you too.”

Damien let out a breath he had been holding in relief, his face still flushed but for a better reason.

“I meant to ask you on a date but I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” He explained.

“I may have told him about your anxiety...I’m so sorry I blurted it out.” Courtney chimed in sheepishly.

“Knowing how you feel, I’m not gonna lie, I feel a little anxious.” You expressed, picking at your nails. “But it helps having Courtney and Shayne...it feels like there’s less pressure.”

“If you want, we can stick around.” Shayne offered to you and Damien. “Just make ourselves like chaperones and you guys can make this your first date.”

“If that’s okay with you.” Damien added.

You looked at Courtney, unsure. She knew, in depth, how you felt about yourself on first dates. You both had a silent conversation before she spoke up.

“If anyone can be patient with date Y/N, it's Damien.” She comforted you.

Maybe she was right. Damien was the sweetest, most awesome person...he would be patient with you.

“I would like that.” You told Damien, suddenly feeling shy.

=================================

At the movies, Shayne and Courtney made it so you and Damien sat together while they sat behind you.

You were nervous as hell as you searched for conversation before the movie started. Luckily, Damien was the one talking and asking you questions. He remembered his conversations with Courtney in the past about you and dates so he wanted to help you feel more comfortable. As the movie started, you rubbed your hands on your legs, because your palms were starting to get sweaty.

“Hey.” Damien caught your attention with his gentle tone. “It’s just me. We’re friends so try not to worry so much about impressing me or something. You don’t need to.” He offered you his hand which you took. “I’m already having a good time with you. I hope you know that.”

“You are?” You asked curiously. “Even though I’m a complete wreck?”

“I am. You’re not a wreck but if you insist on thinking that then I think you’re a very cute wreck.”

That did help to ease you as you let out a breathy laugh, the tension in your shoulders lightening up.

Behind you, Shayne and Courtney exchanged a look and a silent ‘awwww’.

With this, you were able to enjoy the movie with Damien. The two of you held hands through most of it and shared the candy you both got. When you guys got ice cream, Courtney wanted the two of you to sit together again. By this point, you were feeling more comfortable on this date with Damien so you were smiling more and joking with him more.

Damien drove you home and Shayne got a ride home with Courtney; the two of you switching. He walked you to your door and offered you a smile.

“I had fun.” You both said in unison, both laughing after.

“I had a great time.” You said, the anxiety pretty much gone. Although, it was flaring back up with the fact that the two of you were parting...do you kiss him? Does he even want you to kiss him?

“Me too. I hope you weren’t too uncomfortable tonight.” Damien replied, his hands going into his pocket.

“No, actually. Your patience and encouragement was really helpful. It means a lot to me that you weren’t such a jerk about me being quiet or anything like that.”

“I’m glad. So, you wanna go out again soon?”

OH MY GOD, you got a second date ask? You never got those. Oh Damien...bless you…

“I really would.” You smiled at him brightly.

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Maybe we can plan our next date.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

You gave Damien a hug, both of you holding on a little longer than you normally would.

Oh no, the anxiety is coming back? Should you kiss him? OH NO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

The two of you pulled back, Damien kissing you on the cheek. You were surprised by it but you blushed as you smiled at him. He went to leave when you grabbed his hand to stop him. He turned back around to face you and that’s when you decided to go for it. You stepped closer to him and kissed him. It was everything you’d hoped it would be and more. It felt like you were on cloud nine and you weren’t ever coming down.

As you pulled away, Damien’s eyes remained closed for a moment. Holy crap, that was the most amazing kiss. Your lips were so soft and it was just...words couldn’t even describe how he felt when you kissed him. He had been wanting to kiss you for so long and now that he has? It felt like everything was right in his world...and he wanted to do it again.

Damien pulled you back for one last kiss, the two of you letting it linger before you pulled back. The two of you smiled at each other, both thinking about the next time you would get to do that.

“Good night, Y/N.” Damien said with a goofy smile on his face.

“Good night, Damien.” You replied, sharing a similar smile.

Damien walked backwards as he waited for you to unlock your door and go inside. You got inside and turned to wave at Damien before he turned to walk back to his car.

You closed the door and rested against it, a big smile on your face.

Damien got into his car and sat there for a moment, his smile bigger than earlier.

“Holy shit.” The two of you said to yourselves as you replayed the kiss you shared in your head.

#damien haas x reader #damien haas imagine #smosh imagine #damien haas

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smoshimagine · 6 years

Note

I’ve been bouncing this idea around in my head for a while but could you do a head cannon or one shot about Damien x reader, where the reader admits to being poly and that she has a crush on his best friend, Shayne? Maybe how he’d react to it and stuff??

Fuckign,,,, yeah?????

You and Damien had probably been together for a couple of months at this point, and Damien liked to believe you were both open with each other. Well, that was for the most part. You never really talked about being polyamorous since you were nerveous about Damien’s reaction. Even though he had always been supporting, previous partners you had were a bit upset by the fact.

But you just kind of acted like it wasn’t there, which, yeah was unhealthy, but what else could you do? But, unfortunately, it didn’t really feel like you could keep acting like it wasn’t there. Since Damien was such close friends with everyone in Smosh, it wasn’t uncommon for Boze, Shayne, or anyone else to hangout with you two. And while Boze was an adorable woman, you were much happier with her as a friend than a potential lover. But you didn’t feel that way about Shayne. You loved being around him just as much as you did Damien. He was a handsome guy with a wonderful sense of humor and personality similar to Damien’s that you always liked.

Before you realized it, you eventually had a crush on your boyfriend’s best friend. And you didn’t know if it was noticeable or not. You attempted to just act normal, if not a bit more touchy or trying to make him laugh more. It made you feel like a highschooler. But the way he said your name made a comforting warmth spread across you in joy, something that happened when you first were with Damien.

You snapped out of your thoughts as Shayne shook your shoulder, trying to show you something on his phone. You laughed with him, it was a musical.ly fail he found of a furry girl dancing really off-sync to some song. But you looked up at the sound of Damien who looked as stressed and upset as he sounded. But he momentarily stopped, surprised to see you two hanging out without him. But he shrugged it off pretty quickly before sitting with you two. Shayne putting his phone away as he turned to him. “What’s going on?” You spoke, reaching for his hand to hold. “Some stuff is going on at the office and I’m kinda pissed, and you guys know I don’t get upset easily.” You and Shayne nodded in sync, letting the pale boy rant and rave about what was happening. And while you wanted to listen, you were subconsciously focusing on Shayne leaning his head on your shoulder to move closer and hear Damien better. You tried your best to ignore it as you looked at the boy in front of you instead, nodding at some parts and waiting til he was done. “That fucking sucks, dude!” Shayne exclaimed, sitting up properly again. “I know! And they aren’t telling us what they’re gonna do about it.” Damien let out a small huff before you squeezed his hand.

“Let’s go out and get some ice cream to make you feel better.” You suggested, smiling softly, causing the hard expression on his face to soften slightly. “Sure, Shayne, do you mind driving?” He asked, earning a small nod before the three of you stood up. Slipping on a pair of sneakers before following the two out to the car. The car ride being enthusiastic and filled with energy, Shayne trying his best to make Damien happy and take him out of the sour mood he was in. It was seemingly working, the two were ugly singing along to Britney Spears, over exaggeratingly dancing and laughing together. Soon enough you three has arrived to an ice cream parlor, seemingly empty except for the workers. Before walking in triumphantly and ordering milkshakes and a big sundae for the three of you to share.

“Do you wanna try some of my shake?” Shayne offered you, he had had cookies and creme shake, with cookie chunks, chocolate at the bottom and top, with a layer of vanilla in the middle. You grinned at him and nodded. “Holy shit, that tastes really good!” You were a bit surprised at how sweet it was, but it was pretty good. “Can I try yours?” He asked, you nodded slightly before sliding over your shake. “That tastes pretty good. I should order it next time.” After his sentence you two made slightly prolonged eye contact, causing you both to burst out into a laughing fit, adorably leaning on each other and laughing any time you made eye contact. Damien hurrying to get a photo of the sight, watching you two calm down. “Pose for a photo.” He said suddenly once you two stopped giggling. You lazily stuck up a surfer dude hand symbol and grinned at the camera, noticing Shayne also doing something stupid as the photo was taken. Watching him type out some caption as you drank some of your milkshake. Checking your phone to find he put the photo on his Instagram story, the caption being “on a date, kinda nerveous.” Even though it was a joke, you blushed at the idea of it being a date. Before brushing it off as Damien tried to get you to have some of the sundae.

After the ice cream date, you and Damien dropped Shayne off at his apartment. You were just thinking, and realizing you did have to talk to Damien. “Hey, angel?” You spoke softly as you stared down at your lap, feeling your nerves come over you.But Damien was more worried you called him angel, it was a pet name reserved for important moments or something that warranted it. So when you just suddenly said it, while also looking nerveous, this sounded a handful of worried alarms off in his head. Taking one hand off the wheel to hold your hand. “What’s wrong?” Instead of tiptoeing around it, you just decided to come forth with it. “I have a crush on Shayne, and I still really love you! But I just, a part of me wants to be in a relationship with both of you at the same time! But I’ve always been polyamarous and I’ve never brought it up cause I’m worried on your reaction! And I dunno how you would feel about the idea and just–” “Calm down.” Damien spoke suddenly, you had slowly started talking faster and faster, anxiety rushing through you. “Right, it’s just, I really love you and don’t wanna lose you. I’ve been scared to bring it up.” You finished as you finally arrived back at your shared apartment. “Let’s keep talking inside.” He spoke quietly as he got out of the car.

You two sat on the bed, feeling more comfortable in the cozy environment. “So, I love you too, and I’m really glad you talked to me about this, cause I don’t wanna have secrets.” He started off, trying his best to make eye contact even though normally he wouldn’t. “I can understand why you would like Shayne, he’s a great, handsome guy. I want you to be completely happy in this relationship! Even if it’s not just with me. I think we should talk about it when he’s here and see what he thinks, though. I think if he accepts and is comfortable with it, it’ll just take me time to get used to.” Damien spoke, trying his best to not stutter or say the wrong thing. You felt overwhelmed with emotions. “Well, if he does accept, which I doubt, we can all mutually discuss what we are and aren’t comfortable with. I want your full consent and what you are uncomfortable with if we’re doing this.” You said, squeezing his hand gently. Damien nodded slightly before pulling you in for a hug, which relieved so much anxiety you felt. Allowing yourself to cry into the hug as he rubbed your back. “I’m so lucky to have you.” You murmured, attempting to wipe your eyes as you pulled away. “Shush, you’re my world, im the lucky one here.” Damien let out a quiet chuckle.

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frogocado · 6 years

Text

Take Care of Me (Damien Haas x Reader)

You and Damien have been hanging out ever since you joined the Smosh crew four weeks ago. While your friendship has been mostly platonic, you get wasted at a party and being the only person who isn’t drunk, Damien drives you home to take care of you.

I started this about a week and a half ago and it turned into something cuter than I had planned. Alcohol is one of the main themes in this! If you become uncomfortable at any point, please don’t feel like you have to keep reading. I still love you.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouted as you entered Shayne’s apartment. You let out a screech, eyes wide as you looked at everyone.

“Drop it, drop it!” Shayne shouted to Damien, who pulled a string that dropped a sloppily written banner. “Happy 1 Month at Smosh, Y/N.” You had exclusively asked for this to not happen, knowing the same stunt had been pulled for all of the new recruits as the company grew. It was seen as a way of helping everyone feel welcome, but surprises were as scary to you as jump scares.

You tried to turn around and hide your face, but Boze’s arm slung over your shoulder and steered you to face the group again. She had told you that Damien and Shayne had wanted some Scrabble revenge from your weekly game night two nights before. Despite being upset with her for setting you up, you were always down for anything when she was by your side. She was your best friend in the office, hands down, always building each other up to do more and more silly things to cheer everyone up around the office. You felt yourself slowly turning red as everyone clapped and whooped for you. “Speech, speech, speech!”

You covered your face as everyone quieted down. “Thanks for coming, I-I think,” you began, uncovering your eyes with a warm hand. Boze pretended to hold a microphone in front of you and you looked around at everyone, trying to find Joe’s face. “This wasn’t in my contract,” you said finally and everyone began to cheer and clap again.

You felt like you blinked and suddenly you were in the kitchen with Boze, Matt Raub, and Shayne as they poured shots for you to share. You had known from previous parties that this was what they did to get them all to a slight tipsy, but you weren’t as prepared. It had been a while since you had gotten drunk and by your third, you were already at your limit. Somehow, a beer had entered your hand and was halfway gone and you milled around the apartment, feeling much better about the surprise now that you were close to being wasted.

"Thanks for organizing this,” you said to Shayne, standing on your toes to hug your friend close after finishing your second round of Mario Kart with Damien, Sarah, Noah, and Keith.

“Oh, it wasn’t just me,” he said, nudging his head toward Damien. “He planned most of it.”

“You did?” You drawled to Damien, giving him a hug as well.

He laughed sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders as you stepped down to look at him. “Yeah, you know. You’re my friend and when Boze told me how angry you would be about surprises, I figured I’d pitch in to make it sort of okay.”

You pulled back to squint at him, as if forcing your eyes to focus would help you be at least a little bit more sober for this exchange to save a bit of professionalism. You felt a burp coming on and excused yourself, getting into the bathroom only milliseconds before you got sick.

You heard a knock on the door before it opened and Boze knelt down next to you. “You okay, Y/N?”

“Drank too much,” you murmured as she collected your hair to move it out of your face with one hand, her other rubbing your back soothingly.

“You lightweight,” she teased lightly before leaning out into the hallway to call Joe over.

The two of them talked in soft voices before you saw Joe leave, going back into the main room. “Joe’s trying to see who can drive you home. Sorry you got wasted during your surprise party,” Boze said as she gently helped you to your feet, searching for a spare toothbrush in Shayne’s bathroom.

You swayed, holding the sink for support. Damien appeared in the doorway, looking worried. He winced when he saw the contents in the toilet. “Oh, gross.” He noticed the toothbrush Boze had found and knocked it out of her hand, forcing the flush lever down before either of you could react. “Don’t use that one, it’s Shayne’s!”

Boze put up her hands defensively, giggling a little bit. “Yo, Y/N, imagine if you had brushed your gross puke teeth with Shayne’s toothbrush. Your friendship would be super over.” The two of you began to laugh as you imagined it before your swaying brought everyone back to reality.

“C’mon, Y/N,” Damien said, his hand gently on your wrist to guide you out of the bathroom. “I’ll drive you home and clean you up and you can just go to sleep.”

“Just inviting yourself over to my house, eh?” You joked with him as you handed over your keys and the two of you walked out together to your car.

As Damien drove you the ten minutes back, you rested your head on the cool glass of the window, trying to keep your stomach and insides from swaying on every turn. “You okay?” He asked when you two were a block away. You closed your eyes, giving a soft noise in response so you could avoid nodding and talking. You felt his hand cover yours and squeeze. “Almost there.”

After parking, Damien had an arm around your waist to guide you into your house since you were still shaky on your feet. “First on the agenda is you brushing your teeth.” He smiled to himself as he helped you to the bathroom before disappearing to go get you a glass of water. As you brushed, you felt embarrassed and silly. Your friend had had to drive you home from a party that was supposed to be about you, all because you couldn’t handle your alcohol.

“Breath check,” Damien joked as you two met in the hall after you had finished.

Biting your lower lip for half a second, you pressed up onto your tip toes and crashed your lips against his. His entire body tensed, his hands on your shoulders as he backed himself up a step. “Whoa, Y/N–” he said, eyes wide. The water had spilled and he was quick to put it down, a hand brushing at his now wet shirt. You giggled as you fell forward against him, trying to find his lips again. They always looked so soft and his body was always so warm and it was the only thing you’d been thinking about since the Denny’s incident two weeks ago when you had forgotten your jacket and Damien had sat in the booth next to you, rubbing your shoulders.

But then his hands were gently holding onto your forearms, thumbs rubbing against your skin as he gently pushed you backward onto your stable feet again. “Slow down there, friend, you’re quite wasted.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to kiss me?” You asked, lower lip jutting out in a shameless pout.

“That’s not what I’m saying–” His eyes met yours and he let out a tense breath, shaking his head as his eyes drifted down to your mouth. “Fuck, you’re cute. Okay, listen, you’re really drunk and I would never, ever kiss someone when they’re this gone, even if I really wanted to, because I’d be taking advantage of a situation. Let me just… help you get to sleep, okay?”

You couldn’t hide your disappointment but nodded all the same. He let go of your arms and picked up the water again. “Okay,” you agreed, frowning at the spot of water on his shirt.

Damien guided you to your room and onto your bed where you struggled to unlace your shoes. He smiled and knelt on the floor, helping you. “Here,” he placed the water on the table next to your bed and guided you to lay on your side. “Anything else you need? I was gonna head out if you think you’re alright.”

Your eyes were half closed and you reached out, grabbing his arm. “Two things,” you murmured, struggling to open your eyes all the way. He seemed to find this amusing and an infuriating smirk stretched across his lips. You held up one finger, squinting at him. “Please stay.”

“Done,” he responded immediately. “Thing two?” Your eyes were closed again, though you felt like they were somehow still open and you were helping him set up a spot on the couch.

“Y/N?” Damien questioned as he grabbed the spare pillow off your bed and your eyes opened, gazing down at him setting up a small spot to sleep on your floor. This was… unexpected. “Did you fall asleep? I thought you had two things to tell me.”

“Oh yeah,” you yawned, your arm lazing off over the side of your bed. “Sometimes, our friendship is annoyingly platonic.”

Damien laughed, as he got up to turn off the light. “I agree. Goodnight.”

Sleep overcame you too fast for you to respond.

You woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and squinted at the light coming in through your shades. There was a bottle of Tylenol next to the glass of water on your table and you sat up, immediately taking three and chugging the bottle of water.

As you started to get up, you noticed the small space where Damien had slept next to you, his shoes sitting neatly next to the edge of the blanket. The memory of what you had done flooded back to you and you groaned, flopping back onto the pillow. When you finally gained the courage to face your friend, you wrapped your blanket around your frame and head to protect you from the sun as you entered the kitchen. Damien stood at the stove, cooking a pan of eggs. “The beast emerges,” he teased nodding toward your coffee pot.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, voice hoarse from the pain in your throat as you cleared it away, pouring yourself a cup. You leaned against the counter and watched him serve you both the breakfast he had prepared for you. “That thank you is pretty encompassing, you know,” you told him as you sat up on the counter, leaning against the side of the fridge. “And I’m sorry.”

“You’re welcome. Does that mean you remember what happened last night?” Damien asked you, eyes down. “Is that why I heard you awake before I saw you awake?”

You nodded into your eggs before looking at him. "Parts of it.” His eyes met yours and he chuckled. You felt like you might melt on the spot and you were unsure if it was because he didn’t know how charming he was when he was insistently respectful and gentle or from the pain oozing away from your pounding head.

When Damien finished his eggs, he placed his plate in the sink and turned to you where you still sat on the counter, knees pulled up to your chest as you scrolled through your Twitter feed. “Do you remember what you said to me last night? About how you felt like our friendship was annoyingly platonic?” You felt the color drain from your face, thinking that had simply been a dream you had drunkenly conducted in your sleep in order to cope with your own actions.

Now he was grinning. “I guess not.” You groaned, hiding your face in your blanket. You had completely forgotten the conversation you had had before falling asleep, only vaguely remembering the kiss, even.

“I suck, I’m so sorry,” you said into your muffled arms, looking up after a couple of seconds.

“Listen,” Damien said, watching you closely. His eyes traced the curl of your lips before you could notice and by the time you saw him looking at you, it was already intently to meet your eyes. “I’m not upset, I just want someone to be able to fully consent to anything I do with them.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, too hungover to quickly figure out what he could possibly mean. “That just wasn’t the way I thought we’d kiss for the first time. It wasn’t that I don’t think about you.”

You straightened up a bit and the two of you smiled gently at each other. Damien moved closer to you slowly, allowing time for both of you to change your mind if it was needed. When he was close enough for you to pick out all the colors in his eyes, he mumbled gently, “just so we’re clear, I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“God, do you ever stop being a nice guy?” You responded before tugging on the front of his shirt.

He didn’t get a chance to answer as your lips met. It was the same lips, the same heat, but now he relaxed against your frame, taking a step closer to be in a better position to reach you the way he wanted to. Your hand rested on his cheek, the other still holding a handful of his t-shirt. This time, when you pulled away from him, his lips were slightly parted and he made a noise like a hum, forehead pressing against yours.

“That’s what I wanted our first kiss to be like,” Damien admitted, unable to hide his smile.

“Can we just forget the other one that happened, then?” You requested, mouth reaching for his again.

Damien laughed, mumbling against your lips. “Gladly.”

#damien haas #smosh games #smosh #damien haas fic #damien haas x reader #smosh games imagine #damien haas imagine #this is once again #a novel #mine #fic #100n #500n #!!!

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kayluh1915 · 6 years

Text

My Final Post on Anthony*

*until he gets his shit together

So, as you all may or may not remember, I made A POST after Anthony’s atrocious April Fools day video claiming that I was DONE with Anthony... and I was... but not fully. While I did unsub from his channel (which was long overdue) I still followed him on Instagram and Twitter and actually left my tweet notifications on for him. I also answered SEVERAL other questions about Anthony through my inbox. However, this post is the last time I am mentioning Anthony on this blog as an independent creator.*

This post is nothing more than one big ass critique of Anthony and his content. This is my last shot at trying to reach out to Anthony to make some changes because after this, I’m done.* I WANT him and his channel to succeed so bad that seeing him fail like this and knowing that it’s his fault makes me sick. This post will show you why me and so many others are SO angry and will show you that Anthony knows what he’s doing, but for some reason continues to ignore us while he quietly loses subs and followers by the THOUSANDS monthly in the background. I CARE about Anthony and WANT him to succeed. That’s why I’m making this post. To try and help him (if he’ll listen) and show people that he is MUCH MORE than the content he’s putting out. However, if he doesn’t care, then I can’t care anymore. LAST SHOT!

Feel free to send this link to him through Twitter if you have the balls (cause I sure as hell don’t)! I WANT him to see it.

Buckle up, kiddo’s! It’s a long one!

Anthony’s content changes at the drop of a hat. I’ve honestly seen more consistency out of a fucking camelaian. You CANNOT be inconsistent on YouTube if you hope to succeed. Sure, changing things up once in a while isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but changing every few months just pander to some people is channel suicide. It may get you a couple of extra views at first, but you will lose the audience you already had because you are no longer who they subbed to in the first place.

When he first left S*osh, I think his plan to build an audience was to ride over most of the subs he had from S*osh while also collabing with a few well known solo creators to gain attention from people who didn’t watch S*osh. Not a bad plan to start off with, however he most likely did not gain as many S*osh subs as he thought he was going to, so he panicked and started using the dirtiest tricks in the book to get seen such as clickbait and LOADS of collabs as seen below which was the wrong response. The correct response was just to continue with what YOU wanted to make while also finding a balance with videos WE wanted to see and eventually the subs would have followed because they liked who YOU were... but he did not do this.

After the collab phase (which lasted about three months), I believe he tried to move on with videos he wanted to make which was the videos where he portrays a socially inept character. This within itself IS NOT the issue, it’s HOW he went about it. When creating a character persona separate from yourself, it’s important to let the audience know when you’re the character and when you’re you. You don’t have to come flat out and be like: “Yo, I’m Anthony today guys!” you can easily do this by giving your character a name or by SEPARATING how YOU act and how your CHARACTER acts. It’s just enough context clues for your audience to figure it out. Anthony fails at this. When your audience doesn’t see the character line, they get confused and wonder why the hell you’re acting so foolish. Most don’t get it. It makes the line even more blurry when you market a channel and social media as YOU and instead just use it as another outlet for your character or for promotion of said character. Newcomers have no line to see and it makes it almost impossible for the average viewer to get what you’re doing. You just look like an idiot to them... which most won’t subscribe to.

This is why, I believe, his videos without another popular creator or subject in the title barely breaks 100k which is MUCH lower than he probably anticipated which, again, caused him to panic and go back to clickbait. His titles ARE NOT creative and is using basic psychology to draw people in weather he realises it or not. Using titles like “I’M SORRY!”, “COUPLE GETS THEIR TEST RESULTS!” and “THE REAL REASON WHY I LEFT S*OSH!” makes you wonder. Why is he sorry? What did he do? What test? What test did they take? What’s the real reason? Our brains naturally want to complete things, so the average viewer will click on it because they HAVE TO KNOW by the nature of their brain. In my personal opinion, it is a DISGUSTING tatic of trying to get an audience. If you rely on clickbait, it shows me that you’re either:

A) Uneducated with the YouTube algorithm and don’t know a better way...

Except Anthony DOES know a better way and is well educated about the algorithm. How do I know? Well, in THIS episode of Game Theory, MatPat mentions that he worked with Smosh (AKA: Ian and Anthony) to help them with their audience. He’s also mentioned working with them several other times in other meta theories that he has done. So Anthony:

B) Understands how to properly build an audience and is WELL educated with the algorithm, but instead uses the knowledge to manipulate people into subbing instead of showing them that he is deserving of their sub.

While collabling and clickbait CAN help reach out to more people who would otherwise not see your channel, COMPLETELY relying on it is just PURE LAZINESS. I can understand using those tactics like once a month or further apart, but every other video!? If you want to succeed, you have to maintain a BALANCE between what people want to see and what you want to make. Just flat out relying on the algorithm to build your audience for you isn’t going to get you very far.

As gross as these tricks are, it didn’t boost him too much. He’s gaining in views, but his sub count is unsteady. The appropriate response to this is to continue doing what you were doing but start making subtle changes to help draw a character line and to subtly help the average viewer get your humor by dumbing it down a bit. I personally don’t think his humour is funny. The timing is TOO LONG and there’s no base for his joke which leave many seeking out Google to get the punchline. Dumbing down the humor and finding a balance between your normal humor will help bring in more average viewers. Also finding a balance between manipulative tactics and YOUR OWN content would also be a WONDERFUL response. This will in turn eventually grow your subcount to where you don’t even have to manipulate people into watching your content or subbing to you. My channel is practically dead and even I know that you can’t pull the BS that’s he’s pulling and make money off of it to pay for your fancy house that Gerard Way used to own.

To this very day, his sub count is EXTREMELY unsteady. According to his SOCIAL BLADE, while he is gaining a little subs, he’s losing a lot too. He’ll go for about a week or two gaining anywhere from 50 to 300 new subs a day to losing 100-400 a day for a solid 4-7 days.

It’s not a steady a count that you see with most successful channels. For example, many consider S*osh to be dead now, but their Social Blade tells a TOTALLY different story.

While not that impressive, at least it’s STEADY. They gain an average of 1,500 a day with only one bad day within a two week time span. THEY’RE GROWING... not fast, but still growing.

Between April 29th to May 8th, Anthony gained 1,484 subs, but between May 9th to May 14th, he LOST 1,913 which means that even on his good days, he ends up losing them later on during his bad weeks which isn’t great if you’re hoping to build an audience. He’s not growing... wonder why, guys?

THIS is why we’re angry at Anthony. We KNOW he’s better than riding off of the algorithm. He is a genuinely funny guy when TRIES to be, but all this pandering bull shit is pushing people away from him. He thinks it’s getting more views and subs, but it’s not. In fact, his Twitter and Instagram is FAR worse than his channel.

His TWITTER only had ONE good day in a two week time frame.

His INSTAGRAM is worse, losing an average of 600 a day and 19,000 within a month.

Weather you agree with me or not, numbers don’t lie and it’s CLEAR that he is doing something wrong to be losing so many followers and subs. Also, that “SUPER HILARIOUS” 4/20 JOKE he made the other day on Twitter with who he’s following, yeah he did that on purpose just to make a weed “joke.” It’s equivalent to your 10-year-old brother who just found a YouTube playlist full of MLG meme comps.

Don’t believe me? CHECK IT.

The dates even line up.

He keeps using these minuliptive techniques and won’t even TRY to make regular content and his numbers are suffering for it. For someone who’s obsessed with them, he sure doesn’t seem to want to build them.

Also, this isn’t about me being upset with his content. As long as he’s happy, I don’t care what he makes AS LONG as it lives up to his potential. IT DOESN’T. It doesn’t even come CLOSE to what he’s capable of. He could EASILY be one of the top YouTube channels if he gave a damn and TIRED. He’s not trying, HE’S MANIPULATING and it’s ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE for someone who once shone brighter than the sun not just to me, but everyone else. This new channel and “Anthony’s” behavior his A MESS and a disaster waiting to happen. You may have your mindless subs who buy your poorly made merchandise fooled, but you don’t have me fooled. If you have ANY hope of wanting to pay for your fancy house, bills, or anything you want, YOU BETTER start making some changes because you ARE GOING TO FALL eventually. You can’t keep running from who you are. Eventually, you will grow tired of trying to be someone you’re not and when you do, the people you tried so hard to please will be gone. You’ve already lost me who’s been nothing but loyal to you and Ian for over four years... who’s next?

I’m FUCKING COMPLETELY DONE!!!!!!!*

#so done #anthony padilla #kayla's ramblings #The Long Ass Anthony Critique #done #this is the last I want to hear about anthony unless a miracle insues #or if he does something with ian #those are the only exceptions

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onisionquotes · 6 years

Text

The Call/This Is Cray/etc

mirror of video Hi there, yeah, hi it's me. How you doin'? Hah. So, I gotta talk about the elephant in the room, the elephant you don't know is in the room, but I wanna talk about that elephant. You guys know I like sharing my personal life with you. I LOVE SHARING ITS SO FUN! It's kind of like I gossip but I dont really like gossiping about other people, I moreso enjoy gossiping about myself. So with that being said. I wanna talk about something that happened recently. First of all, my spouse manages my business emails. Laineybot [GROAN]. So after six years or uh, seven years… six sev six sev… seven years. I had somebody record videos with me a long time ago, over six years ago. And they're obviously enjoying being in the video, I mean they volunteered to be in the videos. And you know down the line that person and I, because we were dating and stuff, well I decided to end things with them and they went home to Canada. And then I decided to get back with them, for like the ninetieth[?] time and they were taking money from me so they could survive in Canada for a while, and they picked that money up that I sent to them on a regular basis with their "guy friend". But later on, one of my fans informed me that that "guy friend" who they were regularly picking up money in the car of at the money tree or whatevers in Canada. That person had actually gotten them pregnant while they were dating me and taking money from me. I, of course, fell apart and walked 6 miles to Dennys. And in that Dennys, I uh, there's nothing really that happened at Dennys I just fell apart more. I walked home, six miles or whatever, and eventually a person named Taylor my spouse put me back together. So I used to work with somebody in videos a long time ago and then they got pregnant with someone elses baby and recently I've been uploading those videos that I did with that person so long ago because even though they did that to me, even though they took my money and we were dating and then they got pregnant with someones baby. Like even though there's all that really like not-so-great feeling there, I still enjoy the art. You know, the work we did together. It's very… nice. It's wonderful really. That person was really very funny and I can see that, despite… having gone through those things with them. But I got an email, or Lainey got an email, because Lainey manages the business. And I can't show it to you, because the last time I showed you guys and email, I got in a lot of trouble on youtube. I don't know why I got in trouble, but I did. So I can't like, show screencaps anymore I just have to like, repeat them. Oh! But I will post this to the corteria[?] on onision.org/forums which only like six people have access too. It's a hidden forum within the forum. It's pretty cool. But I will post this screenshot there. Anyway, it says: "To whom it may concern, you are being advised that any and all material containing imagery, sound or likeness of that persons name is to be immediately removed from any public sites." NO. The answer is NO. Okay. You can't do that. When somebody volunteers to be in a video you can't just say "you know what, I revoke it" NO. The agreement was you are giving me property. It is mine now. There was never any talk of anything outside that. Just because it is years later and you no longer feel like "oh I love these things" you still did them, and you still volunteered yourself to be in those videos. To revoke the right for me distributing content that I made, with you as a volunteer, that is totally bonkers. If that person from over six years ago, wants to go and try take everything that's mine just because it slightly involves them, uh well, then I say you give me back the thousands of dollars that you took from me. You give me back the money I sent you when you were with that other guy, uh, you give me back all the money I spent on plane tickets for you, you give me back all the money I spent on outfits and food and housing et cetera. I think we're about… $50,000 by now? You give me back all that, and yes I will take them down. But here's the thing. I am not even really making any money off of most those videos. Reality check. And I am keeping those comedy sketches up because they're awesome and I love those comedy sketches. And I'm not going to just throw away all that wonderful stuff, because somebody who got pregnant with another persons baby while dating me, no longer enjoys the sketches as much as I do. Anyway, they say "You have not been given any rights to publish these." Yes. I was. They were in them! They were literally… UGH. Ok guys, so when you voluntarily collaborate with someone, when you play out characters in a video. Like lets say I got in a banana costume and I was featured in a DanIsNotOnFire video, or I was in a uh smosh video or I was in any of your favourite youtuber video ok? If I was in like a banana costume dancing around in the background, could you imagine just because I didnt like them anymore that I went and sent them a letter saying "you must remove all this immediately!" It just.. to me… it seems…. there's not better word than bonkerschnitzel. Tha-thats literally… its beyond bonkers. It's bonkerschnitzel to just - because you feel like it. To pretend you were never ever totally cool with being in a video and totally gave permission does not like "I JUST FILMED SOMEONE SLEEPING" it's not how it went. They say they expect to receive proof that everything is gone within five days, and it's like dude, come on. Wha? This just makes me think why do I work with anyone ever? Why do I have anyone in my videos ever? If down the line they are just gonna cause an issue. I just want to make awesome funny videos, and if I can't make an awesome funny video with someone without them worrying that later on they'll be like "I dont want this video out there anymore" its like ugh you're ruining everything!! Anyway they say if I don't comply with their demands it's going to result in a cause of action. I dont know what that means. It says I should govern myself accordingly. Again, question mark. Anyway, its cute that they think they can just pretend permission was never given to something even though it is beyond obvious that permission was given for something. But in no rational world does this hold merit. In fact I have my phone here, lets see if we can call call this guy (G = Greg, M = Manager) G: Hi I got an email that says I need to remove videos with an artist of yours. M: Yeah G: Yeah M: Greg? G: Yeah. M: This is her manager. Uh, hi Greg. G: Permission to use those videos is beyond obvious. M: uh, what is it written? Can you send me a document where she signed off to agree to do that? G: Are you saying I had a gun to her head? M: No I'm not saying I had a gun to her head, I'm asking for the agreement. Can you send it to me? Then we're good to go. G: Yeah, well to prove in any court that someone was unwillingly participating in a video I would be amazed to see that happen. M: Yeah well if you give me your address we can get to court if that's required. I'm asking you, one professional to another, uh, these videos are six years old to remove those videos completely from your site and to have some human decency to get that - G: You realise these are comedy sketches right? And when you volunteer to be in a comedy video sketch and its beyond obvious that someone is willingly volunteering in the sketch does that seem, uh, wait Ok lets be real and honest real quick ok? It's obvious she's voluntarily in the videos. It's obvious. Like there's no situation in which you say "oh that person wasnt willingly in a video?" cause they are. It's obvious! M: Oh.. ok I'm not interested in a debate - G: That's because the debate doesnt work in your favor. it's so obvious like do you understand that if somebody is doing something that they're either willingly doing it or they're not willingly doing it which means someone's holding them at ransom or something. M: okay well again - G: You know you're wrong is my point? M: Whether I'm wrong or right is not relevant to this discussion G: It's totally important. M: What I'm asking you to do is to simply take those videos down. If you wanna send me your information, if you want to escalate this, I am more than happy to escalate this to a court and lets see what they say. G: Oh my god, so you know for a fact that this person is willingly in those videos, yet you're gonna escalate this to a court because you're so dishonest? it's so obvious that somebody is in the videos willingly and you know this. Yet you're gonna try and take legal action against somebody despite the fact you are so obviously wrong? M: Greg, let me tell you something G: Just be a real human, just be a real person dude. You know they were willingly in those videos. M: So do me a favor and send me your contact information - G: you're trying to avoid the real conversation because you know you're wrong M: I'm not having this conversation because it's not a conversation I want to have G: because you're wrong. you are so wrong. you know they are voluntarily in that video. why would they be in costume? why would they be in costume? why would they be in costume, acting, playing a character unless they were voluntarily in the video? And they were compensated! They were compensated! M: if you're going to do all the talking, this is going to be a one way conversation. G: because your only response is "Send me your address" thats just creepy. M: No, I'm not asking for your address, send me your attorneys address and I'm happy to escalate this if you want too. G: why would I waste money proving on that someone was who was obviously in a video was obviously in a video voluntary? M: then simply take the videos down they're volunt- G: WHY WOULD I DO THAT WHEN I OWN THESE? Ok I paid this actor through housing, through food etc M: How much did you pay her, I'm sorry? G: Housing, food, et cetera, plane tickets, everything. M: Do you have a contract? G: Do I have proof that the person was voluntarily in the video you fucking idiot? M: No do you have a contract? G: YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT DUDE. THEY WERE OBVIOUSLY VOLUNTARY BECAUSE THEY'RE IN A COSTUME, THEY'RE PLAYING A ROLE. THERE'S NO GUN TO THEIR HEAD HOW FUCKING STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE? M: actually there was a gun in that video if i recall G: OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT ITS OBVIOUSLY A FAKE GUN. Are you actually saying you're going to try and prove in court that they are actually held at gunpoint to do a video? You are so fucking stupid. You are a fraud. You are a fucking fraud. M: Greg, if you continue to disparage me, this conversation is over. G: you are not a real human. you're not a real human. you can't have a conversation M: Right, and the only person who has been talking is you. G: Actually you've been talking too Mr Technical. -CALL END- Alright, so that guy is a jerk [LAUGH] I have to make that whole phone call private, only patrons are going to hear it, it might not even be on there for long … patron only thing? I cant believe this. I just [exhales air] This guy, I'm on the phone with this guy. and he's literally saying this person wasn't voluntarily in there if i dont have a contract with them when they're obviously voluntarily in the video. they're in costume, they're acting out a character. Like this is the world we live in were someone who is obviously participating in something and someone is gonna be like "Well technically I'm taking this to court" ANYWAY. So I really really dont like that fella. In fact lets call him back. [VOICEMAIL] Aww he didnt answer. Darn it, anyway. So, feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. Should someone be able to revoke permission to be in a video because down the line they are no longer happy about the fact that they were in comedy sketches forever ago? Should people do that? Ugh I'm so frustrated. This is the differenc between honest, saying yeah, I volunteered to be in this video all that time ago so I can't take away that rights or anything like that, and someone who is like in the most not honest way possible, lash out at this person from so many years ago by taking away something that isn't even mine. I just can't believe that question. Is it in writing? As to whether or not that person was voluntarily in that video. Because are you not human? Can you not see with your eyes that that person is literally in costume, in character right there totally willing. Like what do they think happened? I'd like for them to explain a situation where that person wasn't voluntarily there. Like any proof whatsoever. That that person wasn't voluntarily there. if you look at comedy sketch after comedy sketch after comedy sketch, they are there, recording in different costumes and I have all the behind the scenes footage too! So I can literally prove all the conversations that we had, there was nothing except them volunteering to be there. In fact I have footage of that person asking to continue recording a video even though I had stopped recording with them, because I knew I could play the character better than they could in that scene. And they were like "no no no I wanna continue". It's one thing to have something in writing, but to have someones voice and face on film saying they want to be on video? You lost.

#onision #thank you based transcript annon

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smoshvalentines2018-blog · 6 years

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The Dramatic Consequences of 2 Truths 1 Lie - Fanfic Exchange

Written for @shitsmoshsays Part of the Smosh Valentine's Day Fanfic Exchange - please note this account is not the person who wrote this fic. Check back within the next day for the author reveal. Title: The Dramatic Consequences of 2 Truths 1 Lie Pairing: Noah / Shayne Rating: General Keywords: Slice of life, fluff, established relationship, domestic, sick fic Summary: Noah decides filming 2 Truths 1 Lie with Keith while wearing a flimsy shirt is a good idea. He gets sick, at literally no one’s surprised, and spends his weekend getting pampered and cared for by his wonderful boyfriend Shayne.

- - - -

“I bet filming that 2 Truths 1 Lie video with Keith is what made you sick”, Shayne says with a sigh as he rests his warm hand against Noah’s forehead. “I can’t believe you decided to wear that shirt- can you even call that a shirt? It’s more like a weird apron.” Noah laughs because Shayne sounds so concerned, but his boyfriend has that glint in his eyes that shows he’s not being serious. The laugh turns into a cough, chesty and loud and honestly painful, and Shayne has to help Noah drink a little water before it stops.

“I’m not leaving the flat today. I’m gonna stay with you.” Shayne says, placing the glass back down on the table, and then he gets up to bring a mountain of blankets from their bedroom. Noah is settled on the couch, long limbs spread comfortably against the plush cushions, and he’s watching a nature documentary on Netflix. It always makes Shayne laugh, that Noah loves watching the strangest documentaries, but Noah knows his boyfriend secretly loves it. Besides, Noah almost always falls asleep with his head on Shayne’s lap and that means Shayne gets to card his fingers through Noah’s hair. They both love it.

Shayne dumps the blankets and throws on the floor and then arranges them on top of Noah, tucking him in and fluffing up the pillow behind his head.

“This is so domestic.” Noah sighs, blissful, and Shayne laughs.

“You’re dumb.” He answers fondly, and then he’s swiping his hand over Noah’s forehead again to get his hair out of his face. Shayne’s hands are warm and strong and Noah leans into the touch. He’s always loved Shayne’s hands; they’re firm and strong but he’s oh-so delicate when he’s touching Noah. Tracing his fingers down Noah’s arm when they’re watching T.V., squeezing his palm when they’re walking down the street hand in hand, grazing his thumbs across Noah’s cheeks when they’re kissing.

“Have I told you how much I love your hands?” Noah says. Shayne laughs because, apparently, everything Noah says is hilarious to him.

“Only fifteen times a week, no biggie.” He says with a wide grin. “Now stop fantasising about my hands and try to get better. I’ll be in the kitchen making you soup, like a good wife.”

Noah tries watching the documentary, he really does. It’s interesting- David Attenborough’s voice is soothing and the little fish on screen are weirdly calming, but Shayne fed him chicken soup a while ago and he feels warm and toasty. Just for a second, he closes his eyes, and then he wakes up to Shayne carrying him to bed. It’s a shocking way to wake up, when you think about it. His legs are dangling in the air and he’s cocooned inside a blanket. His mouth feels dry and pasty and he croaks out a surprised noise with a flail of his legs.

“It’s 9pm. You slept like four hours, honey.” Shayne whispers as he places Noah in bed. Noah grumbles something- he doesn’t really know what, honestly- and Shayne chuckles. Shayne puts him down in the bathroom to let him brush his teeth and wash his face, and hands him clean pajamas before exiting to make the bed.

“Now take your medicine and go to sleep.” Shayne plops a glass of water on the bedside table and hands Noah the cough syrup. Noah gets a little distracted when he pulls his shirt off and he nearly misses his mouth with the spoon, but he eventually swallows the syrup with a grimace and drops the spoon onto the floor. Before he joins him, Shayne fills Noah’s glass of water again and takes his temperature, even though Noah insists that he’s fine and it’s just a cold.

Shayne doesn’t seem to care about getting sick, because he spoons Noah all night without letting go. It’s nice, because Shayne’s always made Noah feel safe and warm and fuzzy, but Noah also is sick and he’s hot and sweaty. Shayne doesn’t mind, though, because Noah wakes up with his boyfriend’s face pressed into his hair and his arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him close. He feels a little better, though he can’t breathe through his left nostril, so he tries to wiggle out of Shayne’s embrace to get up. Maybe he can surprise him by making breakfast before Shayne wakes up. It doesn’t seem like that will happen, though, because Shayne grumbles something unintelligible and opens his eyes to squint at Noah.

“Mornin’” he says, voice raspy from sleep and it still sends little shivers down Noah’s spine.

“Hello sunshine!” Noah answers with a wide grin. He turns around to face Shayne, delicately swiping the hair that’s sticking to his forehead, and presses a little kiss to his cheek. They both lay there, quiet, for a while. It’s their favourite part of their morning routine- enjoying the warmth of their bed and each other’s company in silence. Working at Smosh, their lives are busy and noisy, so these morning cuddle-sessions always are a blessing. A way to forget the buzz of L.A. just for a while, and get lost in their little bubble.

The couple end up making pancakes, since it is Sunday and they don’t have any plans. Or, rather, Shayne is making pancakes while Noah sits on the floor wrapped in a blanket, coughing into his sleeve. He’s a little better, but his throat is on fire and he can’t really breathe through his nose. There’s music playing in the background and it’s nice, though Noah can’t really sing right now because his throat is raw and that makes him a little angry. There’s nothing better than making pancakes in your pajamas on Sunday morning, singing and dancing to a playlist your hot, wonderful boyfriend made just for you. He also wishes they could make out they decided earlier to avoid kissing, because they’re not sure if Noah is sick enough to contaminate Shayne and there’s no way he’ll let that happen. Even if that means no kissing for a few days. It’s tough, but they’ll get through it… he hopes. Noah loves kissing. Especially kissing Shayne.

They eat the pancakes sat on the counter, and Shayne doesn’t complain when Noah steals from his plate. In fact, when he thinks Noah isn’t looking, he adds more syrup than he usually does, because he knows Noah has a sweet tooth. Noah totally notices and it makes his heart swell. So he keeps eating from Shayne’s plate, sticking his fingers in the syrup and tearing bits of pancake up to shove them in his mouth. Shayne just laughs and wipes the corners of Noah’s mouth with his thumb, getting rid of the syrup stuck at the corners of his lips. When they kiss, it’s slow and overly sweet. Noah’s tongue tastes like sugar and coffee, and though they said they’d try to avoid it, it seems they just can’t help it.

“If you get sick, it’s totally not my fault.” Noah says with a smile when they break apart, and Shayne breathes out a chuckle against his boyfriend’s cheek. He’s put down the forgotten plate of pancakes, carding his fingers through Noah’s hair and pressing their foreheads together.

“I don’t care if I get sick. Just means I get more time with you alone. Away from the office.” He says and Noah’s heart flutters against his ribs.

“It’s been crazy lately. So much filming to do. Especially with Smosh Pit and the show with Damien.” He adds. It’s not that he doesn’t love it- Noah knows Shayne loves filming these videos. He just gets a little overwhelmed, sometimes. It’s a lot of pressure and stress.

“We should go on a holiday, some time. Even just a weekend, like, in a cabin in the woods. That would be so cute.” Noah says and Shayne nods.

They spend the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch, watching another David Attenborough documentary, and on Monday they’re relieved to wake up to a healthier Noah and a still healthy Shayne. They’re late for work, again, because Noah decides that since he’s better he gets to keep Shayne in bed with him longer so they can make out. Shayne doesn’t mind.

- - - -

Author’s note: I hope you enjoyed this! It doesn’t /really/ have that much of a plot, but I didn’t really want to write something super angsty since this is a Valentine’s Day fic! I wanted it to be cute, to be honest. Thank you for reading!! Happy Valentine’s Day!!

#smosh valentine's day fanfic exchange

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creepynoodleheadcannons · 6 years

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Best of 2017

Hey guys, Mod C here bringing you the best things I've found and enjoyed this year! This is just some stuff I've gotten into, if you don't like it, don't read it! Happy new year creeps squad!

Let's start with some movies-

1-the saw series

Okay I really love these movies. Then again, I'm down for any horror movie. This series is just really good, and the recent movie Jigsaw made it even better. Thank you Tobin bell!

2-pitch perfect movies

Because Amy is literally my spirit animal

3-love, Simon

IM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS BECAUSE GODDAMN IT COVERS SOEMTHING NOBODY IN THE FILM INDUSTRY WANTS TO COVER

Thank you

Now, video series I like-

1:EverymanHYBRID

This is centered around three guys who start a fitness channel and put in the slenderman joke, then shit hits the fan. HABIT is a sassy little shit and Jeff is a angsty marshmallow

2-tribetwelve

I know all of these are slenderverse series but come on, they're pretty cool. I haven't gotten up to the last video quite yet but I'm mcloving it so far

3-smosh games stuff

Game bang, cell outs, summer/winter games, I don't know why, but I'm liking it a lot. I watched them a lot in junior high and I guess it just said hey bitch I'm here

And now…fanfics-

1-Sucker, by deathbreast on wattpad

Okay, I've mentioned before I don't really like XReaders, but this is an exception. I like it. Its well written, doesn't start with the 'oh you kidnapped me but I kinda like it', and it's just great. I'd highly reccomend it (no I'm not giving you my wattpad it's my cringey junior high one I used to use)

2-Fate is Bullshit, a mashup by someone and I can't remember who

Listen, I like smosh, and I normally hate anything remotely close to this, but I like the writing style. It's combining two things I like, and even if there's only one part up, I like it. It doesn't start with the 'oh I saw him and he changed my life' yeah, no, thats the worst way to show vulnerability in the protagonist. Also, the protagonist's name is Carson and yknow that's in the school au so I said fuck it I'll give it a try.

3-snitches die in ditches, I believe it's written by @pasta-quotes-headcanons but if it's not I'm deeply sorry

It's pretty cool, I'm not so big on fanfics concerning everyone living together but it's actually pretty cool. Read it dudes. Read it.

4-Listen to the Music, by dacatnextdoor on wattpad I believe

Look, I like undertale. I like dancing (I did some when I was younger), I like fanfics with good grammar, and this seemed to have all of those.

Now for video games, because Mod C is a nerd!!

1-Undertale ofc

It's well thought out, concept is great, it's full of puns and memes, it's got two weird ass skeletons and a lesbian body builder fish who's my spirit animal, what's not to love? I'm almost done with the geno run and the second toriel was gone I instantly regretted it.

2-Catherine

I just like the game. I can't explain why, I just do.

3-Bioshock

It's a pretty nice game, I like the music, and the tape kinda thing is pretty nice

4-bendy and the ink machine

I'm not that far into the fandom, I just like the game. Same with cuphead. It's just a nice game, I'm not that into the fandom.

5-Friday the 13th

I just like horror movies dudes

6-Injustice, because mortal combat is bullshit

Only reason I don't like mortal combat is because it reminds me of some stuff I don't want to bring up. Also I like superheroes so

7-presentable liberty

It's the most guilt-inducing game I've ever played dudes

8-misao

Because my sister and I played it together

And last but not least, Books!

These are just gonna be listed

1-Silence of the Lambs

2-Looking for Alaska

3-black butler count?

4-I like so many damn books I can't name all of them

5-OH CONJURED

thanks guys, and happy New Years!

#ooc #best of 2017

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evenstevensranked · 6 years

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#17: Season 3, Episode 18 - “Stevens’ Manor”

With the house to himself for the weekend, Louis decides to open up a bed and breakfast to afford a snowboarding trip for the gang! What could possibly go wrong?!

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys to ignore any typos in my reviews within the first day or so of them being posted. It takes a few read-throughs for me to catch any/all errors.

That being said...

This episode opens with the subplot. Although, this is yet another one where the subplot and main plot work together super well. I’ve noticed that this is becoming a theme with these higher-ranked episodes. Huummm.

It starts off with Ren spying on Ruby breaking up with some random guy Dexter. Her oh so serious, love of her life boyfriend of 4 days. Sounds about right. This show seriously nails how ridiculous middle school ~relationships~ truly are. Ruby is devastated, so Ren presents the idea of turning their upcoming weekend sleepover into girls night complete with nail polish, magazines and ice cream! Yeeee!

Ruby clearly shocked and offended by Dexter’s decision to end it. We don’t actually hear the conversation, so this exaggerated expression really gets the point across.

It cuts to Louis, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom (who I will refer to as “the gang” from this moment forward) discussing how badly they want to go snowboarding at some lodge. Tawny estimates that it’d cost around $200 per-person, and I mean, what 13-year-olds have that sort of money laying around? I’m a grown adult and I can’t even afford Starbucks on some days. So, yeah. To any sane person, the idea would be totally off the table and seem completely farfetched... But not to Louis Stevens!! He’s all “Oh, it’s no problem” as he runs to answer a call on the school’s payphone, which is the millionth thing that closet space next to the stairs has been used for. The call is from someone looking to book a reservation at Stevens’ Manor. I really hope that payphone has a different number than the school and that Louis didn’t give out Lawrence Jr. High’s number as the contact info for “Stevens’ Manor.” I can’t.

He explains to the gang that Steve and Eileen are going away for their anniversary, Donnie has an away game, and Ren is sleeping at Ruby’s... which means he’s got la casa all to himself. Twitty asks how he’s gonna get his parents to actually let him stay home alone though... and like??? I know that Louis can get a little crazy, but does he really need a freaking babysitter or something? Actually, wait. What am I talking about?! He immediately seized the “home alone” opportunity to turn the house into a bed and breakfast. Here we go again with the give Louis Stevens an inch and he will take 100,000 miles trope, lol. His plan is to fake cry to Eileen about wanting to come with her and Steve and not wanting to stay alone, before deciding to be ~strong~ and stick it out. Steve even calls Louis a “soldier” for it, haha. Okay. Whatever works I guess! I’d like to point out this kinda ugly transition they do of Louis smirking about his plan, to the moment where he’s actually executing it. It’s so weird looking omg.

That morph tho. I guess the editing job isn’t too bad for 2002... but dang, it’s just slightly unsettling to me lol.

I like how this episode basically jumps right into the plot asap! We’re only two minutes in at this point and the BnB transformation is already underway! Eileen and Steve ultimately leave and trust Louis to man the fort of course, and the birth of Stevens’ Manor happens the second they’re out the door -- courtesy of a short montage. Louis must’ve been preparing for this bed and breakfast idea for a long while, just waiting around for the opportunity -- because he has shirts embroidered with a fancy “SM” ready to go for him and his friends to wear! He’s even set up the technology to accept credit cards. Louis Stevens does not play!

The first guests arrive and I’m assuming it’s supposed to be a joke when Louis greets them “Welcome to Stevens’ Manor! You must be the Mannings!” lol. The Mannings are an older couple made up of a “fellow Lou” Louis and his wife Edna. This information is vital for later on. When they’re shown to their room, (which is Louis’ bedroom transformed into the “Lincoln Bedroom” lol) Edna says “This is even cozier than the pictures we saw on the internet!” WOW!!! Louis really did have this planned! He probably whipped out a www.stevensmanor.com domain for this. How did he rearrange and clean his room with enough time to take the photos, post them, and get hits on the website (in 2002, mind you) without his parents noticing though? That stuff took tiiiime back then. Not to mention cleaning that filthy room of his would require the help of a garbage company! Oh, well. That’s an irrelevant detail. I told you he’d been preparing for this moment!

Where did he get that bust of Lincoln (see 2 photos up) and that painting too? I searched out of curiosity and found this near-exact bust which costs $850!!!!! That thing better be some cheap plastic knock off because something tells me Louis somehow spent more money on making the place look legit than he’ll ever make back from it lol.

The next guest is a woman named Mrs. Colepepper. What is up with these writers and throwing the word “pepper” into last names? We already have Ryan Zellpepper and now we’ve got this lady lol. I also just realized that both of these characters are black... not that that means anything at all. It’s just randomly sort of interesting imo.

The last main guests are a pair of twin teenage boys and their parents. Now, Even Stevens is good at not double casting people (a.k.a being weird and having the same actors play two or more different characters throughout the series and hope the audience doesn’t notice) -- But they messed up here and I gotta call it out!! They’re acting like this is the first time we’ve seen these twins, but they actually already made an appearance as LJH students back in Season 2! Their first appearance is literally sooo brief that only a weird superfan like me would notice, but yeah.

The twins in this episode.

The twins in Season 2! We haven’t covered this episode yet so I feel really weird including a screenshot but.. lol.

There’s this short scene where Louis introduces Tawny as the Manor’s “human jukebox” because apparently she’s a piano wiz and knows “all kinds of songs” (Also, where’d Louis get the grand piano?! haha) One of the twins sarcastically asks “Does she know ‘I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii’?” And Tawny adlibs a song “I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii, where they say Aloha and roast little piggies!” This one line always gets stuck in my head. Always. I’m tempted to continue writing additional lyrics just to give myself more to sing.

There’s also a fantastic bit here of Tom arguing with Mrs. Colepepper about the pulp in her orange juice. I can’t even explain it, all you have to know is that it’s amazing. Also, Louis tells the twins to check out the “Rec Room” and hands them two ping-pong paddles. They’re like “All you have is a ping-pong table?” and Louis says “Yeah... Well... I never said anything about a table. So.” IT ALWAYS GETS ME! It’s such a small line, but I love it. ALSO Beans is the BnB’s “licensed masseuse.” Right.

At Ren and Ruby’s sleepover, Ruby gets a make up call from Dex and they talk on the phone all giggly for an hour and a half. Ren is fed up and decides to head home. Safe to say Ren was in for a surprise when Mrs. Colepepper was asleep in her bed...

Louis tries to explain the situation to her and of course, Ren is vehemently against it until she sets her eyes on the ~gorgeous~ twins. As they’ve already stated -- The twins hate it there, so she catches them juuust as they’re about to check out. Ren literally referred to these guys by name in S2. They were some weird names like “Mosh and Stosh”?! lol, Smosh. But now she’s acting like it’s the first time she’s ever seen them in her life and it always bothered meeeeee.

Something that kills me about this bit is when their father says “The boys just aren’t happy here. I kinda have to agree with them. Your kiddie pool hardly qualifies as an ‘aquatic center’ so...” -- LOUIS REALLY PUT “AQUATIC CENTER” as a selling point knowing that all he had was a kiddie pool.

Imagine showing up to a BnB where this is the advertised “aquatic center.” I am dying of laughter. First the nonexistent Rec Room, now this. I can just hear Gordon Ramsay ripping this place apart on an episode of Hotel Hell.

Ren immediately tries to persuade the twins to stay for obvious reasons by bribing them with lame board games, but they apparently reciprocate her attraction and decide to stay. The fictional board game they pick to play is The Organ Donor Game (sounds like a fun time???) and it’s so suggestive. Ren says “Ooo! You landed on my kidney. That’s gonna cost ya! No cheating and... Hands off my pancreas” in the most sultry voice ever. Like... WHAT?! The doorbell rings while they’re playing and it’s Ruby coming over to apologize, but she too decides to stay at the Stevens’ once she sees the twins. Wow. I love how a fan is always conveniently there to blow Ruby’s hair dramatically whenever she sees a guy she likes.

It happened the moment she developed a crush on Louis, too. And, uh... Didn’t Ruby JUST GET BACK TOGETHER with Dexter like, an hour ago?

Meanwhile, Beans is giving Louis Manning a massage by walking on his back in hiking boots??? Beans just further solidifying his place as “The Worst” in my heart. Old Louis (which is what I’ll call him now I guess) gets his back thrown out thanks to their wonderful, 8-year-old, obviously not licensed masseuse. This place is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Eileen decides to call home and check in with Louis, which creates one of my favorite situations everrrrrrr in the series. Y’all know I love when shows highlight the comedic side of miscommunication, and this is probably Even Stevens’ best stab at it. Edna is the one who answers Eileen’s call and all hell breaks loose when Eileen asks for Louis. “Louis hurt his back, he’s in a great deal of pain right now.” Edna explains. And Eileen says “You tell him I’ll be there in two hours and that I love him very much!!” Of course, Edna thinks Old Louis is cheating on her with some woman named Eileen and it’s great.

Louis (Stevens lol) overhears the conversation and starts freaking out because how the hell are they gonna get all of the guests out of the house and revert it back to the way it was when it’s only midnight? That’s when Ren gets the brilliant idea (no seriously, it’s brilliant) to set all of the clocks forward to 7am checkout time! Oh my freaking god. Most of the guests have only been asleep for an hour or so, and suddenly they’re being told breakfast is ready. It’s absolutely hilarious! “Skies will be mostly... dark” Ren informs them of the days’ weather, omg.

There’s no way they have enough time to serve everyone a full breakfast, so they shove all the food into a blender and give it to the guests as the “Deluxe Breakfast Combo To-Go!” Seriously, Gordon Ramsay would have a field day with this.

They pretty much scream at the guests to “move it!” and get outta the house at midnight while they’re all still in their pajama’s and disoriented. Even if it was 7am, this is some terrible service. At this point, I’d give Stevens’ Manor a generous zero stars on Yelp.

Amazingly, they get everyone out with enough time to hustle and clean up the house before Steve and Eileen get back! *Whew!* Louis and Ren scramble to explain the whole Enda lady who answered the phone situation and claim that she’s the school nurse. Steve is so confused, “The school nurse made a house call in the middle of the night?!” Honestly, though. Suddenly Edna walks back in the front door “Excuse me, I forgot my umbrella.” Haha. That’s when she and Eileen have their final brush with miscommunication. Eileen is all “Thank you for taking care of Louis!” and Edna says “Well, let me tell you something, Eileen. I have dedicated my entire life to taking care of Louis, so let me give you a little warning... STAY AWAY FROM HIM!”

Steve: “These school nurses are so protective...”

Steve and Eileen decide to head upstairs and go to bed immediately, to Louis and Ren’s relief -- which actually made me realize something... Where do Steve and Eileen sleep?! From what we’ve seen of the upstairs it seems to only have a bathroom and Louis, Ren, and Donnie’s rooms! I’ve never seen space or a door for a third bedroom up there! Omg. Maybe they have a secret bedroom in a hidden attic or something? Hey! They had a giant secret cave underneath their house. It’s possible.

The final minute bit of this episode is great. Steve and Eileen are watching some local news program and Mrs. Colepepper happens to be the host. She shares her experience at Stevens’ Manor and how she’ll never forget it in a strangely positive review segment. The best line is when she says “I don’t normally sleep through the night, but when my head hit the pillow -- the next thing I knew, it was morning!” HAHAHAHA. She makes a point to mention the “hip, young staff” and shows a picture of the gang (see cover photo.) And yeah. Steve blows a gasket.

THE END!

This is a great episode. I mean, really. It’s super memorable, funny, and it’s an awesome episode for the cast as an ensemble. I cracked up countless times writing this review! It definitely gets a lot of “iconic” points for sure. I just personally prefer episodes that have more of a story to them and focus on the characters. As great as this episode is, it’s definitely one of those wacky plots that could only make sense in crazy Season 3. But I gotta give it to them... This is such a wild and elaborate plot, but they somehow make you believe that Louis could’ve actually pulled this off irl. I’m sure there were some impressionable kids out there who entertained the idea of doing something similar themselves, lol. I want y’all to know that #17 isn’t a “bad” spot by any means. I feel like I say this a lot, but at this point in the countdown, everything seriously is pretty much top notch. I’m simply arranging the best of the best in an order I hope is both personal and objective. It’s a difficult line to straddle, believe me.

To top off the review, I’ve added not one -- but two Stevens’ Manor designs to the Redbubble shop!! AYYYYYYYYY! I got carried away. I’m actually really excited about these, haha! Ya can now get the main “Stevens’ Manor” design and the employee logo design printed on whatevaaa you want. Doing these reproductions of things that exist within the shows’ universe is so fun. I’m really trying my best to get as close to the way they appear on screen as I possibly can (with my limited photoshop skillz)

They’re available in the shop now! Yay!

Thanks for reading!!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

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okay-j-hannah · 5 years

Text

Synonyms For Home

Smosh : Prompt

Damien x Reader

Word Count: 3486

Warnings: Just the most relateable ish I’ve ever written... except for having THE actual Damien Haas in my life 😭 I heckin’ wish

Request: ““sometimes home has a heartbeat” First of all THANK YOU for writing damien haas because I can never find any inserts of him :( also I chose this dialogue because I really like it and can be used in a friend to lover thing? I’d like a angsty gone fluffy one? I often run away from potential relationships and I’d like something based around that. thank u for doing what ya do <3″ - @dancingpanda137

Prompt:

31. “Sometimes, home has a heartbeat.”

Note: I completely understand running out of Damien Haas fics 😂 I have definitely read about 99.99% of the content out there! Also I totally feel your pain about running away from potential relationships... this was a lot of fun to write!

A/N: At one point you’re going to have to stop running away from every potential relationship; there’s more to life than just stressing about it

Part Two: Homeward Bound

(this gif... This Gif... THIS GIF... ThIS giF... What am I going TO DO WITH MYSELF?!)

(Y/N) was speeding down the office hallways, a satchel at her side along with multiple plastic bags on her arms and a large drink carrier in her hands. A pencil stuck awkwardly from behind her ear as she mumbled the checklist she'd made earlier that day.

Sharply turning a corner without hesitation, she made it to the meeting room and gave a quiet, but swift knock. She opened it carefully and wiped her face of concentration to replace it with a wide grin.

Ian paused his presentation of a fresh project by waving at (Y/N) and gazing excitedly at what she brought.

"Don't mind me," she whispered, the same thing she said every day when she made her deliveries.

All the Smosh Pit cast were there, including the Squad, Tommy, Monica, Matt Raub, and Garrett. They were going over ideas for Smosh Winter Games, something that hasn't happened for a few years.

But (Y/N) was more focused on getting her own job done, starting with the drinks and passing them to their corresponding owners. She did it in such a fluid motion that no one doubted their cup was exactly what they ordered.

Next, she opened the plastic bags digging into her arms and handed out sandwiches and salads, as an added treat. She normally pitched in a few extra dollars to buy a better lunch for her coworkers, and she could see the speculating eye from Matt Raub as he accepted his deluxe.

She put her best smile on and waved a hand, "Don't worry about it." And before she left, she reached into her satchel and extracted a small box of cookies, "For dessert."

And before anyone could protest the homemade treat, she ran out of the room with a few more drinks and meals to pass out.

This was such a frequent occurrence for (Y/N) and the Smosh Family. She had become kind of like the mother of Smosh, taking care of the numerous little things while still finding time to take care of the cast and crew with goodies and smiles.

That didn't mean she never got stressed.

Her step was quick again as she made her way back through the halls, waving at a few friends as she went. That checklist in her head never seemed to grow smaller:

Get Damien his coffee

Give cookie box to Smosh Games

Find Sarah for guest star progress reports

Check to see if Damien actually ate his lunch

Write paper about that Tinder for Hotdogs idea

Give Tommy a hug and see how he's doing later

Invite Shayne to the hangout Damien came up with

Text Courtney about filming in her tiny car

Find Damien a date for...

Someone crashed right into (Y/N), sending the last few cups of coffee into the air and all over her shirt. She jumped at the steaming hot liquid, pulling against the fabric to keep it from her skin.

"Oh, damn, I'm sorry (Y/N)."

She winced and peered up to see Damien's sympathetic face, "It's... It's fine. I'll - I'll just bump a few things on my list and go get changed and grab more coffee."

He immediately knelt down to pick up the remnants of the cups and carrier, "I'm guessing this one's mine? Serves me right not looking where I'm going."

He gave her a smile, his eyes crinkling up as he did so. It made her heart skip a beat.

"Don't worry about it. I'll just..." she was still holding away her sticky shirt, closing her eyes and thinking hard, "I'll figure something out."

Damien sighed, "I just ruined your whole agenda, didn't I?" He picked up her pencil and quietly slid it to behind her ear, "Please don't stress out about it."

She had to give herself a few seconds to process his last sentence before continuing, "Um... that's almost physically impossible at this point. With summer ending we've got to find a whole new season of things to do."

He listened but contorted his brow at how uncomfortable she was standing there, "You know I have one of my Smosh sweatshirts in my office. You want to change into that? Get yourself out of brewing in your own shirt."

When he laughed at his own jokes it made (Y/N) stutter so uncontrollably, "Uh... actually, that'd be really nice. Then I won't have to drive home when I run more errands."

He led the way to his desk, smirking, "More errands? Do you just intentionally want to give yourself a busy schedule?" He extracted a colorful pastel sweatshirt and handed it to her.

"Well, who's going to pick up the new Mario Party release?" she walked away to change in the nearby bathroom, "You have to film today."

It only took a minute to change, but maybe two minutes to stare in the mirror and tell herself she was wearing Damien's sweatshirt. Not to mention smell his cologne from the collar.

"And I know that if you get stressed out, I just stress out more and then there's this whole cycle of intense panic." She paused when she met him at his desk again - he was holding her satchel and a strange look was in his eye.

"You look cute."

She had to focus all her energy into not widening her eyes at his words, "I got to go, thanks for the sweatshirt! I promise I'll get you something else later today for that coffee fiasco." She was practically running out of the room by the end of her sentence.

It always took a few minutes after a talk with Damien to convince herself that he only saw her as a friend. That he cares about her because he's her friend. That the possibility of getting so close to him was absolutely terrifying.

But she had to push past it, always the one to run away from those potential relationships.

She had to hurry back on her list if she had hopes to finish everything before the big hangout that night. And by big hangout, she meant Damien, Shayne, and Courtney. (Y/N) always considered scenarios where Damien was involved a big deal.

Completing a majority of running errands and skipping her own lunch to do so, she ran over to Smosh Games to deliver cookies and catch up with Wes and Mari. Whenever she could, (Y/N) always tried to make time to talk to each of the cast and crew.

It's always nice to know you have a friend at the office.

"Guess what I brought?" she flashed a dazzling smile, opening her satchel.

Wes practically flew as he turned in his chair and wheeled towards her - thankfully his headphones were Bluetooth and not attached to the monitor.

"Suckers? Cupcakes? Oh! Please say it's..."

(Y/N) extracted her homemade box and shook it in front of him, "Chocolate chip cookies."

Mari wheeled around too, "You're going to be the sole reason he's gonna have a sugar coma later."

He practically squealed, a large childish smile on his face, "You're too good to me, (Y/N)." He quickly pulled one out and took a bite, "Oh... you are way too good to me."

She laughed, pulling Damien's empty chair from his gaming console to sit down, "Where is everyone?"

Mari shrugged her shoulders, "Probably sneaking around to plan my reception."

Wes paused in his munching and widened his eyes, "Hm? I - I thought they were..."

"I know they left you here to keep me distracted," Mari smirked, "I also know that Peter left you guys in charge of ensuring I'm a happy bride - so don't lie to me."

Shaking a few crumbs from his fingers, Wes rolled his eyes, "Fine. They're coordinating who's decorating your car."

"Which reminds me," Mari flashed her gaze back to (Y/N), who was fidgeting in her seat. "Have you found yourself a date for the wedding yet?"

Wes gasped and nodded enthusiastically, "I thought for sure he was going to ask you by now."

"I'm not asking anyone out," (Y/N) stated adamantly, "You know I'm no good with... wait - did you say...?"

"I thought you were just going to go with Damien," he paused before quickly adding, "As friends."

(Y/N) felt the heat residing in her face, panic building in her chest, "No, I was actually supposed to find Damien a date later this week. I didn't want him to go alone."

"But you are?" Mari asked, leaning across the desks, pointedly raising an eyebrow towards Wes.

"I'm not the best at the whole dating - relationship thing. So, it's best if I just stay out of it."

Wes mumbled, "With the amount of stress you handle every day at work you'd think going on a date was nothing for you."

(Y/N)'s breathing was hitching, her trying to hide her fidgeting hands at the subject, "Can we please talk about something else?"

"Is that sweatshirt new? I've never seen it before," Mari was smirking again; she knew full well whose sweatshirt it was.

It took Wes only a few more seconds to realize it as well, "Did Damien give that to you?" He had the biggest fan boy eyes (Y/N) had ever seen.

But she was consumed with her own overwhelming emotions. The thought of so many people rooting for Damien and her to get together sent her nerves to the maximum. Sure, they were really good friends, but only that.

Any other possibility would melt her insides.

"Whatcha guys doing?"

Damien came waltzing into the room, followed closely by Joven and Laser. His eyes fell immediately onto (Y/N) sitting stony in his chair - the sight made him smile, but he hesitated.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" He was always the one that stepped in before she fell into a full state of panic, unbeknownst to him that he was normally the subject of the panic.

"I... I just - I don't know."

He walked over and outstretched his arms to her, giving her a sympathetic gaze to will her up to him.

Joven snapped his fingers to grab the attention of the other SG members, crazily pointing to usher everyone out.

(Y/N) sniffed and averted her gaze, finding her legs disobeying her to a standing position. And Damien wrapped his arms around her, holding her so tightly.

She was consumed by his presence, feeling her heart drop into her stomach. Hugs from Damien weren't uncommon, but they were always nerve-wracking.

"I told you not to stress out today." He rubbed a hand up and down her back, "But I definitely ordered your favorite food for tonight just in case. And we can play whatever game you like - even the scary games."

"But Shayne hates the scary games," she mumbled, the pang in her chest resounding at his comfort.

He laughed, "Shayne can hide behind the couch."

She could feel his heartbeat against her head. It pounded until it resided into her mind. It was always that that calmed her down. It was the same feeling she got when she was safe at home after a long day.

Was his heart beating a little fast?

"Feel better?" He pulled her back slightly to get a good look at her face.

She wished his arms were still around her, "You know I always do when you're there."

There was his laugh again that sent a shiver down her spine, "You look a little red in the face." He brushed a finger against her cheek to confirm his suspicion, "You're not sick, are you?"

Lovesick?

"I gotta go. Thanks for the hug, I really needed it." She grabbed her bag and became completely oblivious to how Damien's shoulders sunk. "I'll see you later tonight."

She rounded out of the Games room, smacking the side of her head as she put a hand to her temple. There was a pounding there that she was sure was going to grow into a headache.

She closed her eyes, needing to focus:

Bring treats for the editing room

Gather viewing statistics from Spencer

Not think about Damien

Help Monica with writing Tinder for Hotdogs

Confirm spot on the SmoshCast for next week's episode

Order dress for Mari's wedding

Not think about Damien's laugh

Start notes for the Two Truths episode she was going to direct

Not think about Damien's smile

Meet with Ian about Winter Games

Not thinking about falling asleep on Damien's lap tonight

Buy more ingredients for Wes' cookies

Check that the makeup room is fully stocked

Not thinking about Damien pulling a blanket over her before he would leave

It was almost impossible to concentrate on anything else as (Y/N) entered the film studio for Smosh Pit. Shayne was immediately waving at her and raising his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

She shrugged her shoulders, pointing towards her temple and mouthing, "headache," over the sound being tested through the mics.

That pounding was still resounding in her head.

Shayne nodded and mouthed back a, “sorry,” before patting the spot next to him on the couch. She gave a short smile and walked over, taking a deep breath.

“Having a day?” he whispered, the mics still being tested above them.

She bit her bottom lip, “Just a little one.” Then she folded her arms and leaned her head against his shoulder.

He started shaking with a laugh he was trying to hide, “You really are having a day. How many times to I get to see affectionate (Y/N)?”

She pouted, lightly smacking his leg, “I just got a Damien hug, of course I’m feeling affectionate.”

“Ah, yes, the Damien hug,” he moved into a character voice, “I’ve seen many a traveler receive one of those and never return the same.”

“Shayne!” Matt Raub could be heard behind the cameras, “I wasn’t kidding when I said we were checking sound.”

Shayne waved an apology and lowered his voice more, “So, that’s two strikes for having a stressful day. One: a Damien hug, and two: snuggles.”

(Y/N) turned her head to bury her face between Shayne’s arm and the couch, “I can’t help being busy at work.”

“But we can help take a load off,” Shayne muttered leaning over and reaching for something near his feet, “Got you a little something.”

She sat straight again, surprised at the gesture, “You got me something?”

“Don’t act surprised. Just because you give people treats all the time doesn’t mean they can’t give you something.” He handed over a medium sized box that was obviously just thrown together, “It was more Damien’s idea than mine, but we went during lunch.”

“Of course it was him,” she smiled, pulling back the lid and finding a few spa day essentials, goodies, and a couple new games for her PlayStation. “How did you know I wanted these games!”

His eyes widened at seeing hers light up, “You always talk about them, of course we knew you wanted them. And we got you some weird bath bomb-lotion-spray-flower stuff.” He threw his hands around as he talked, trying to amp up the quality of the present, “Just... we want you to relax every once in a while.”

A pair of hands came down on (Y/N)’s shoulders, causing her to jump at first, “We knew that one was your favorite scent.”

It was Damien again, hovering near her head as he leaned over the couch. (Y/N) cursed her mind, thinking that she would’ve been able to get away from his perfect eyes in the Squad room.

“Um... we called Courtney to figure that out,” Shayne stated with squinted eyes but a smile nonetheless, “She also was the one who told us where to find it.”

“I like to think I know what (Y/N) likes,” Damien retorted, hands still on her shoulders. “We thought maybe you should get a gift for a change.”

She didn’t know what to say, setting the box down and pulling away from Damien. His hands left a lingering touch on her shoulders.

“That’s really kind of you guys. I – I guess I’m not used to accepting presents,” she watched the strange exchange move from Shayne to Damien. They were looking at her with puzzlement, but she continued, “I thought you had filming to do, Damien?”

He looked slightly downtrodden, “I do – here. I’m shooting a Smosh Pit Weekly.”

A sigh left her lips, but she plastered on a smile, “Oh, I must have my schedule mixed up. You know what that means – I have to go straighten it out. I’ll see you guys, thanks for the...”

“(Y/N), are you avoiding me?”

Shayne whipped his head between his two friends, disbelief hanging in his gaze. He wasn’t sure this conversation was ever going to be brought up. Therefore, he practically skidded out of the studio, rolling off the couch.

(Y/N) could feel that panic filling up her chest, the pounding in her head. The redness was hitting her face again and the oversized sweatshirt was feeling strangely restricting.

“You’re getting red again. (Y/N) what’s wrong? What are you stressing about?” Damien walked around the coffee table and stopped when she took a step away from him.

“I only ever stress out about one thing.”

He heavily sighed, “I’m gonna need you to give me a little more than that.”

As he inched closer, she felt the panic manifesting itself in shaky hands and stutters, “We-We’re friends, right?”

She thought she saw his face dip a little, “Yes? What’s this about?”

“I - I only seem to feel overwhelmed when-whenever y-you're there.”

He paused, immediate hurt on his face, “Oh, I didn’t realize... I thought... I’m sorry that I...”

“But I also never feel better until you are there,” she gazed at the ground. “It’s very conflicting.”

“(Y/N), I think it’s about time we just get a few things off our chests,” he stated, a bit of redness hitting his own cheeks this time. “I’ve wanted to ask you something for a while.”

She finally peeked at him, “I always run away when I think I’m getting too close to a guy. I don't know why, but the thought of being that close to someone really scares me. But it’s also the only thing I can think about.” She watched his face go through a range of emotions as she held her breath in anticipation.

It was his smirk that got to her first, “I’ve been wanting to ask you to be my date to Mari and Peter’s wedding, but you keep running away every time I think I can start talking to you about it.”

Her breathing literally stopped, “Your date?”

“So, you run away from me because you want to be with me?” He was taking a few more steps towards her, practically right in front of her now. But she couldn’t move.

“That sounds complicated,” she whispered, eyes flickering all around his face.

He gave her a momentary cautious gaze, “Do you want to run away now?”

She eyed the close proximity of his face, “Only because you’re stressing me out. But I know I won’t feel better unless I stay with you.”

“Then this is okay?” he was wrapping her into one of his hugs, “I don’t like that I make you scared like this.”

She let out a breath that she felt like she was holding for hours, “I’m only scared about what’s going to happen next.”

She pulled away just enough to see his face, their arms still wrapped around each other. He leaned his forehead down against hers and gazed into her eyes. She swallowed hard, finding her hands moving – one sliding down to his chest and the other to the side of his face, feeling his jawline.

She realized that the pounding in her head had stopped. It was replaced with a pounding happening against her hand.

It was Damien’s heartbeat. The thing that’s been bombarding her all day.

Flickering her eyes back into his, she found Damien giving a slight smile as he peered down towards her lips. She gave a small smile back and before she knew it Damien was leaning all the way to meet her kiss.

It was instant fireworks exploding in her chest. Those spouts of panic fueled the butterflies in her stomach. Wrapping her hand to the back of his head, she tangled her fingers into Damien’s hair.

She could feel him smile into the kiss.

And as quickly as it began, they broke apart. Though they didn’t pull away from their embrace, still touching foreheads.

“I’m not going to let you run away this time,” Damien muttered, keeping a grip on her waist.

“I think I’m here to stay.”

She felt his heartbeat again, fast and strong against her hand. The one thing that’s always been able to comfort her.

And recognition had finally settled into her mind.

Sometimes home has a heartbeat. And home was where she was going to stay.

~~~

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kayluh1915 · 6 years

Note

What's your opinion on Ian's birthday cake pic? x'D

I was furious… Then I saw it said “Ianthony” and calmed down a bit… but then got furious again.

Click/Tap “Keep Reading” for details. It’s quite long and I didn’t want to take up space on your guys’ dash.

For those of you who don’t know what we’re talking about, we’re talking about the Birthday cake the Defy media company got for Ian’s birthday as pictured below.

As I’ve already stated in a PREVIOUS ANSWER, I think the way that some of the S*osh members and staff treat Anthony’s departure like a big punch line is disgusting. Yes, Anthony left in good spirits and hasn’t died or whatever, but I still think that his legacy should not be written off as a fucking punch line. He CO CREATED THE DAMN BRAND FOR GOD’S SAKE! Not only that, but you can tell that Ian is still bothered about Anthony leaving.

As I’ve stated many times on this blog, Ian is a reserved character. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings and keeps a lot of things bottled up. If he’s upset, he won’t say anything, but his face paints the perfect picture. I’ve been watching him for almost four years and I know his upset face.

It looks like this.

This is screenshot taken from Melanie Moat’s LAST VLOG with Ian. They were only months away from a breakup at this point and YOU CAN TELL. He looks upset, bored, and like he just didn’t want to be there at all. Now compare that to his face when the squad mentioned Anthony.

And his face when he saw what his birthday cake said:

You can tell that his heart dropped like 50 ft. He is still adjusting to doing things by himself and- most importantly- that he misses Anthony. Maybe not in a romantic way, but definitely as a business partner and a friend. I’ve seen his “painted on happy face” plenty of times when him and Anthony lived in separate towns, and now we’re seeing it again now that they no longer work together. Anytime they’re apart in any way, we see this face from Ian and it’s just… heart breaking. The Smosh squad may not see this, but I DO and it pisses me off how they keep using Anthony as a punch line when it obviously is still bothering Ian.

So, what do I think about the cake? I think it was a nice gesture and I’m glad that the people of Defy care about him that much, but what they put on the cake was rude and insensitive to how Ian feels about Anthony leaving.

FUCK THAT CAKE!

#anon #answer #ianthony #ian's birthday cake

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smoshvalentines2018-blog · 6 years

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Nut Hut - Fanfic Exchange

Written for: @daddyneedshisjuse Part of the Smosh Valentine's Day Fanfic Exchange - please note this account is not the person who wrote this fic. Check back within the next day for the author reveal. Title: Nut Hut Pairing: ShaynexDamien, CourtneyxOlivia (Minor) Rating: T (cursing?) Keywords: amusement parks, school field trip, ive actually never been to this amusement park, the nut hut is a real place though, and all the menu items, and all the rides are real, i googled this stuff, sorry if this is bad Summary: Shayne meets a guy on the school field trip to Hershey Park.   Note for the person I wrote this for: Happy valentines day!! Hope it's a good one haha!

Since Shayne wasn’t in band, orchestra, or chorus (he was more of a theatre guy), he never got to go on the school trips to amusement parks, which sucked because those were basically the only good field trips.

Fortunately for him (and anyone else who wasn’t really musical), the end of year trip for seniors was a trip to Hershey Park. Unfortunately, however, he had forgotten to turn in his permission slip until the last minute, meaning that he was on a different bus than all of his friends.

“It’s just the bus ride, dude. We’ll all meet up at the park,” Noah said. Olivia nodded.

“Yeah, we’ll miss you for the ride, but then we’ll ride all the rides and forget it!”

“You’re right, the bus ride’s not the best part,” Shayne said, knowing full well that the bus ride is the best part of any field trip. Still, there was nothing he could do about it.

He sat down in an empty seat in the middle of the bus. As more people got on and moved past him, he resolved to listen to music the whole ride and ignore everyone. He was pulling out his earbuds when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up and an extremely handsome guy was looking down at him.

“Uh, can I sit here?”

Shayne nodded. “Yeah, yeah, of course!”

“Alright, thanks!” The guy said, sitting down next to Shayne. He grinned adorably at Shayne. “I’m Damien.”

“I’m Shayne. Shayne Topp,” Shayne stammered. Damien laughed.

“Nice Bond introduction,” He said. Shayne smiled awkwardly.

“Yeah, not really my intention, but I’ll roll with it, you know?”

“Alright, that’s fair. Hey, is that a Goldbergs shirt?” Damien asked.

“Yeah, actually! I’m in the Goldbergs,” Shayne said. Damien raised an eyebrow.

“No way.”

“Yeah, I have a couple lines, I’m not, like, an important character or anything,” Shayne said. Damien nodded.

“Still, that’s cool. Actually, I’ve been in a few Disney shows,” Damien said. Shayne was surprised.

“Really? Me too! Which ones?”

The two discussed which Disney channel shows they’d been in, and then moved to superheroes and new movies.

“Coco was so good, dude,” Shayne said. Damien nodded.

“Yes. Actually the best movie I’ve seen all year. I cried at the end,” He said.

“Me too,” Shayne said.

“Uh, I feel kind of weird coming on this trip, I moved here two months ago. Not really sure what I’ll do when I get there,” Damien shrugged. Shayne suddenly had an idea.

“Oh, you can hang out with my friends! They’re super nice,” He said.

“Well if they’re anything like you, they’re probably pretty cool. You sure they won’t mind if I tag along?” Damien asked. Shayne shook his head.

“No, they’ll be fine with it. I’m sure they’ll like you.”

“Alright, cool, cool. Uh, we’re almost there, right? I’m pretty excited,” Damien admitted. Shayne smiled.

“Yeah, me too. I think we’re close,” He looked out the window. “Hey, there’s a sign for Hershey Park!”

“Sweet!”

“Exactly.”

A few minutes later, the bus pulled into the expansive parking lot. Shayne and Damien made their way off of the bus. Shayne looked around and caught sight of Courtney, Olivia, and Noah waving them over.

“Where’s Keith?” Shayne asked.

“Oh, he lost his hat on the bus somehow. He’s looking for it,” Noah said. Shayne laughed.

“Who’s this?” Courtney asked.

“This is Damien. It cool if he hangs out with us?” Shayne asked. Courtney nodded.

“Of course. Hi Damien, I’m Courtney, this is my girlfriend, Olivia, and this is Noah. Keith’s still on the bus,” Courtney said.

“Nice to meet you,” Damien smiled.

“Wait, how’d he lose his hat on the bus?” Shayne asked. Noah laughed.

“I threw it.”

“Of course.”

“Hey guys, found my hat!” Keith said, getting out of the bus.

“Sorry about that,” Noah said, not being the least bit sorry.

“Hey, Keith, this is Damien,” Shayne said. Keith smiled.

“Hi!” Damien waved. Keith nodded.

“Hey. I’m Keith.”

“Alright, well! Let’s get going!” Courtney said, clapping her hands together. She lead the group into the park.

They agreed to ride the Wildcat first, and then the Comet. That was about as far as their plans went. As they headed to the Wildcat, Keith began ranting about how much he disliked wooden coasters.

“They’re so rickety! It always feels like you’re gonna fall off!” He said. Noah shook his head.

“Dude, would you rather ride that one?” He pointed at the Skyrush. Keith shook his head vigorously.

“No, no way. Way too high for me,” He said. Courtney laughed.

“We have to ride it now, right?”

“After the Wildcat,” Olivia said. Courtney nodded.

“Alright.”

They got in line, shifting as they talked idly. The line moved quickly, and soon they were boarding the ride. Shayne found himself next to Damien.

“Is this a bad time to mention I don’t love rollercoasters?” Damien asked.

“Dude! You should’ve said something!” Shayne said. Damien shrugged.

“I dunno, didn’t want to ruin your trip. I’ll be fine.”

“Uh… here, you can hold my hand,” Shayne offered. Damien laughed.

“Alright, sure,” He said, taking Shayne’s hand and immediately tightening his grip.

“Dude, do you work out your fingers?” Shayne asked. Damien nodded.

“Yeah, actually, I use one of those flexy things bass players use.”

“Really?”

“No, I’m kidding. Oh shit, it’s moving, shit-” Damien tightened his grip again. The ride accelerated and Shayne was forced to lean into Damien. He tightened his own grip on the brunette’s hand, and just as soon as it started, the ride was over. He and Damien got off, laughing. Keith seemed to be in a state of shock, and Noah and Courtney were laughing at him. Olivia was getting her back out of the bin on the side of the ride.

“Alright, on to the Comet!” Olivia said. Courtney nodded, and the group followed Olivia to the Comet. The line was a little longer, but soon they were in their seats. This time, Shayne was next to Noah and Keith was next to Damien. Shayne and Noah grinned at each other as the ride started. It was a lot smoother than the Wildcat, but Shayne preferred wooden coasters to the metal ones. It was still fun, though.

They headed to the Skyrush, but saw that the line was really long, so they settled for Hershey Chocolate World Factory Tour instead.

“Oh my god, those cows are terrifying!” Keith said.

“Take that back!” Noah said. Keith shook his head.

“Come on man, those aren’t even cool looking cows,” He said. Noah gasped.

“All cows are cool looking cows!” Shayne laughed and glanced at Damien.

“What do you wanna do?” He asked. Damien shrugged.

“I guess I’m kind of hungry.”

“Cool, me too. Hey guys, me and Damien are gonna get some food, anyone wanna come with?”

“Sure- I mean, no, I’m good,” Olivia said, glancing at Courtney.

“Yeah, you guys get your food. We’ll meet up at the Skyrush, text us when you’re heading over,” Courtney said.

“Okay, thanks!” Shayne said, heading off with Damien.

“Hey, let’s go to the Nut Hut!” Damien laughed.

“Alright, sure. Why not.”

“Seriously?” Damien asked.

“Yeah! If I don’t at least buy something, I’ll regret it forever,” Shayne smiled. Damien laughed again.

“Alright.”

They walked over to the Nut Hut and examined the menu.

“Dude! They’ve got fudge dipped bananas!” Shayne exclaimed. Damien laughed.

“Oh shit, you’ve gotta get one,” Shayne said.

“I do.”

“Can I help you?” A young woman asked.

“Uh, yeah, can I get a fudge dipped banana?” Shayne asked. The woman nodded.

“Anything else?”

“Yeah, can I get some cinnamon frosted nuts and an iced tea?” Damien asked. The woman nodded again and gave them the price.

“I can pay,” Damien said, pulling out some money.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Shayne said as Damien paid for their food, which was soon handed over to them.

“You want to sit down while we eat?” Shayne asked.

“Sure.”

They found a place to sit in the shade and enjoyed their food.

“Damn, this fudge dipped banana is great,” Shayne said.

“Yeah, these cinnamon frosted nuts are pretty good too,” Damien laughed.

“God, I’m thirsty. I’m gonna go get a drink,” Shayne said, finishing his banana and heading to a vending machine. He got a Sprite and headed back to Damien.

“Thank fuck, I’ve been thirsty for the past hour,” Shayne said.

“You… do know that soda doesn’t hydrate you, right?” Damien asked. Shayne shrugged.

“Who cares, I love Sprite!”

“Oh, hey, you’ve got something…” Damien reached over and wiped the corner of Shayne’s mouth. Shit, was he supposed to kiss Damien now?

“Wait, am I supposed to kiss you now?” Damien asked.

“Oh thank you, I wasn’t sure either. Do you… want to? Kiss now?” Shayne asked. Damien shrugged.

“Sure! I mean, you’re really hot, so…”

“You too.”

“Thanks, bro!”

“Uh, kissing?”

“Oh, yeah,” Damien leaned in and Shayne watched his eyes flutter shut as he leaned in as well and the two guys’ lips met. Damien’s hand found its way to Shayne’s knee. Just as Shayne was getting into the kiss, he heard cheering coming from the bushes and pulled back. Damien followed his eyes to see Noah, Keith, Courtney, and Olivia laughing behind one of the bushes.

“Really, guys?” Shayne asked.

“Congrats!” Noah said.

“Yeah, you finally got a boyfriend!” Courtney grinned.

“Uh, who says he’s my boyfriend?” Shayne asked.

“Well, do you want me to be your boyfriend?” Damien asked, grinning.

“Um, yes?”

“Sweet!”

“Okay, this is great and all, but can we please ride the Skyrush?” Olivia asked.

“C’mon, Liv, give them a minute!” Keith said.

“Keith, you just want to get out of riding the Skyrush, which isn’t happening,” Noah said. Keith frowned.

“Damn.”

“Well, shall we?” Shayne asked.

“Yes, we shall,” Damien smiled. They made their way to the Skyrush. It was a really fun coaster, and Keith only peed his pants a little bit.

#smosh valentine's fanfic exchange

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