#idk fam it's past midnight over here

[frcderick]

freddie & eivui // grease au pls

( @eivuii )

freddie and eivui end up meeting during the summer when they end up staying by the same beach. there’s something there, but freddie denies it completely and treats her like everyone else, at least at first, but eivui’s boundless energy and optimism wins him over just a little bit, and he ends up spending a lot of time with her during the summer until they have to go their separate ways before school starts. they both think they’ll never see each other again.

fast forward to when school properly starts up again and eivui ( and the rest of her crazy ass family ) end up transferring to freddie’s school, and she’s instantly well-liked by frenchy/kirsa who takes her and the rest of the new girls and they’re basically the pink ladies. it’s through kirsa that eivui ends up seeing freddie again and they’re both completely taken by surprise but freddie feels the need to keep up his reputation because he’s an idiot, and so he basically acts all tough and cool which makes eivui upset and run off.

the two of them are basically feeling miserable, and so freddie decides to try and make it up to her by becoming interested in her favourite arcade video game ( he remembers she stuck a lot of stickers of the characters on his stuff during the summer ) and buying her a stuffed toy. this works and the two become friends again.

there are a few times where their friendship ( and growing feelings ) are put to the test, especially in freddie’s case, as he keeps toeing the line between being who he really is and keeping up his rebellious facade, which eivui hates, and so she often runs off upset, though she never truly loses hope.

during one of the times where they’re not speaking to each other, freddie lashes out at another greaser gang from another school and the two end up challenging each other to a street race. due to his immense pride, freddie tells himself that if he wins this race, he’ll tell eivui how he really feels, but if he doesn’t win, he doesn’t deserve her and that he’ll have to lock his feelings away deep down because she genuinely does deserve better. ( kirsa tells him that he’s being an idiot, of course, but he ignores her. )

the street race comes along, and eivui decides to go, but stands to the side as he races, watching from afar. freddie does a fantastic job and wins with flying colours, which excites him, but also terrifies him, as he promised himself that he would tell eivui he’s in love with her. he’s tempted to just squash the feelings down anyway, convinced his blown his chance, but when he looks up and he and eivui make eye contact before she turns around and darts away, he thinks he might have a chance.

he doesn’t see her until the following week, towards the end of school with summer approaching again. there’s a fair happening on the school grounds, but he doesn’t spot her until the evening during the fireworks, where he finds her standing on a hill. he pretty much stands at the bottom of the hill, looks up and yells “listen i fucked up and i’m really sorry” and goes into this really long ramble as to why he loves her and why he’s a complete idiot and an asshole, but before he can call himself an asshole for the first time, she just runs down the hill and hugs him and tells him that it’s okay and that she forgives him and they kiss under the fireworks like a sappy romcom.

bonus hcs bc i couldn’t fit them anywhere else

the other female aliens are the rest of the pink ladies, their love interests are the rest of the t-birds, though the only ones really invested in freddie and eivui’s relationship are kirsa and jacinta.

pleakley really loves the pink ladies’ style, it’s kinda concerning tbh

freddie’s hair is white in this au because of a mishap with hair dye and grease combined, it wasn’t pretty, but the only people who know this are kirsa and rio obvs, he never tells a soul until he tells eivui, and she thinks it’s hilarious.

unlike sandy, who’s a cheerleader, eivui’s part of the dance team despite an elder the grand council woman’s punk ass forbidding it. it’s this small act of defiance that makes freddie love her even more

#this one fits them so perfectly no one touch me #also i made them go from friends to lovers instead of them dating on and off like in the film #bc i think it suits them more?? #idk fam it's past midnight over here #{ askmeme } #{ a sword hangs over my head | isms } #{au} #missingapulse

[sarah-blue-eyes]

2020 In Review

Hoo boy, here we go.

[Ok just before I begin. I had this queued to post in the first month of January but it doesn’t seem like that ever happened haha. Better late than never I suppose!]

So I am a nostalgic bitch, and since 2011, have loved to make memory boxes for each year, where I put trinkets and memories into a shoebox. This year I have continued that tradition, but I have also kept track of my happy memories throughout 2020 in my planner. This was done with the intention for me to upload a year-in-review sort of thing in hopes that maybe like, 3 people max on this god-forsaken site will read it. This sort of reminiscence was inspired by my friend @a-lbeit​, who has done these for a few years now and me, as a slut for nostalgia, was encouraged to do the same back in January (I think? What even is my memory at this point?)

2020, as it has been for many, was a very shit year, and I am no different. I would safely say that this year has undeniably been the worst I have lived through. But I am here. I am present. And I have made it through some of the darkest times to face 2021 with a new sense of hopefulness. Keeping track of my happier memories has been something that has truly got me through this clusterfuck of a year, so I am glad that I can finally go through them all again and share them with you.

Read it, or don’t, I don’t give a shit what you do with your time, but if you do, I hope that you aren’t bored to tears. And I hope to keep myself accountable to continue to do this for years to come.

Buckle up, grab a hot drink and a snack and get comfy, because this is a JOURNEY.

January:

· Kicked the new year off with hosting a 1920’s themed party with some of my closest friends at my family home at the beach. Had fun with drunk SingStar, playing What Do You Meme, creating a playlist with everyone’s top 3 songs of the decade (it was a bangin’ playlist I must say), and just overall drinking too much and having a riotous time

· I remember going to the beach New Year’s Day (as is tradition in Australia) and playing ultimate frisbee in the shallows and completing a crossword puzzle on the sand (I am a 75-year-old woman, it is just a fact of life)

· I also had my friend Kirsten from South Australia stay with me for the New Year’s period and it was lovely to have a guest over! I haven’t spoken to her much this year, she sort of fell off the face of the planet, but I hope she is doing ok.

· Went town to Torquay (a beach town in Victoria) for the 6th time for Beach Mission, which is essentially a holiday program for kids in preschool-year 9 where we run activities for them. It’s a Christian-based program but the aim isn’t to convert the kids or anything like that, it’s more to show God’s love to them through our actions and how we as Christians live our lives. It’s also a convenient way for parents to dish their kids off for a few hours too haha. This was my final year of being a part of this program, and I am so pleased to have made so many memories and (hopefully) impacted many children’s lives during my time there

· I remember going on a late-night beach walk with my boyfriend Josh, talking about what the year had in store for us. We were just sitting on the beach, as you do, and I saw a shooting star. I can’t remember what I wished for (if anything) but in that moment, life was a dream.

· The week after beach mission I started at my new internship! It was for a place called KidsCo, who run school holiday programs at workplaces, so parents don’t need to take time off work to look after them. I helped with client relations and a lot of behind-the scenes stuff. I really loved it there

· On the very first day of my internship I remember there was torrential rain, and the train home was delayed by like, an hour or so lol

· One of the best parts about interning at KidsCo was that they were the official child-minding service for the Australian Open. I make an effort to go each year, but I was lucky enough to get free ground-entry for me and a guest for the duration of the event. I went quite a few times and got to take my mum and Josh along as well.

· Saw my only concert of the year, The Veronicas, at the Australian Open. When I say the moment the violin riff at the start of Untouched absolutely went the fuck off is an understatement. Grade 5 me would have cried (and 23 year old me did a little bit too tbh.) Yet another of one of my “all-time-favourite-songs” that I’ve had the pleasure of hearing live. (I also went through the year feeling sad that this was the first time in 11 years I hadn’t gone to a concert, but this one certainly fell through the cracks)

· Started planning my trip to the UK to see my twin sister, and best friend, Jess

· Went away to Rye for the Australia Day weekend #changethedate. An excellent time with excellent mates, and went to the beach pretty much every day and got mindlessly sloshed every night

· Listened to the Triple J Hottest 100. I think 4 of my picks made it in, which was pretty good

· Continued my job as the office manager/events coordinator at my church

February:

Basketball started back after the summer break for my two different teams, The Vikings and The Wildcats (honestly such a highlight of this year with how the rest of it ended up going)

As a team-bonding activity at KidsCo we hired a boat for a few hours and I got more drunk that I had been for a while. It was a very fun time jetting down the Yarra, waving drunkedly at the people jogging by

For Valentine’s day Josh and I had an indoor picnic with our favourite food! The weather was shit for Feb, hence the indoor nature of the picnic

Saw Shrek the Musical with two of my closest pals, Bec and Katie (I honestly forgot that this happened in 2020 hahaha) but it was ICONIC

Had a Jackbox night with The Boys

Had my cousin Amy from England over for dinner! I hadn’t seen her in 5 or 6 years, so it was so lovely to connect again like no time had passed at all

Went to Healesville Sanctuary, a lovely conservation park which focuses on preserving and educating its visitors about Australian animals, with Amy

 Went to mini-golf for a friend’s birthday on the leap day. He technically celebrated his 6th birthday which was excellent

Saw Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with Bec and Katie

Finished working at the church office to make room for the potential job opportunity at KidsCo

March:

Ahhh March, you shitstorm of a month. This is where everything started going downhill.

The first thing of note that happened this month was me injuring my ankle at basketball, which had me out of action for a few weeks. It was especially bad because I was nearing the end of my internship and was hoping to do my best work so that I would be chosen to stay on as an employee, but had to take a week or so off to rest my ankle. My ankle would continue to be tender and sore for most of the rest of the year

Went away for the Labour Day long weekend with the family

Finished up my internship at KidsCo. Honestly was lead to believe that I would be staying on as an employee and felt sort of betrayed after all the work I did for them, but whatever

 Had a party at Bec’s house to listen to Triple J’s Hottest 100 of the Decade. One of my favourite songs was number 1 which was a pleasant surprise

Went down to the holiday house for a few days just to have so me time and sort myself out

Animal Crossing New Horizons came out haha. Honestly was one of the highlights of this year though. I stayed up until midnight so I could download it as soon as it was available because that’s the sort of person I am  

Mum’s birthday dinner with Dani, one of my best friends, and her girlfriend Amy

Went for a hike at Sugarloaf Reservoir with Josh and got spooked by a mob of kangaroos

April:

My mental health started really taking a downward spiral this month for multiple reasons which I won’t get into here, but this is more a note to my past self to say that it will all be ok I guess? Idk I just felt like this needed to be here

Did my ankle badly again on Good Friday

Watched the Overwatch League live with my friends and just memed in the livechat lmao

WARNING - this is a bit TMI but I am going to share anyway since it was a big part of this year, and if you are reading this you are either a stranger or a good friend so I really don’t care lmao: This month I also started to get bad pains in my uterus, like, not period pains but deep, stabbing pains. This continued on for the next few weeks without me doing anything about it, except for increasingly getting stressed about it, although I will talk a bit more about this later.

Josh and I celebrated our 6th year together which was ~wholesome~

Called my friend Ashley from the US and just caught up. It was nice to see her face again. She is a good egg. I haven’t talked to her since but I really hope she’s ok.

May:

Watched Star Wars with Josh and his family for “May the 4th”

Started a volunteer job at Kivuli, a non-for-prophet that is based in Kenya, and started helping out with their website and social media stuff

Zoom movie time with my friends, we watched How To Train Your Dragon I think? Athough everyone was talking over the movie so I didn’t really get anything out of it

Played Scattergories (one of my favourite games) with Bec and Jess on zoom and just wrote really stupid and funny answers and I remember this being just what I needed

Went for a long walk with mum and one of her friends and her daughter on a track we don’t usually go on, which was a nice change of scenery

Went down to the holiday house for the first time in forever since restrictions were eased, at least for a little while lol, with the fam

Went to Portsea for a walk along the beach with Bec and her husband Trevor

Did an online trivia night that night with a big bunch of friends

Had a doctor’s appointment to see what was goin’ on down there. Honestly freaked that it could be something REALLY bad. Got booked in to have an ultrasound the next week, so at least I’d be finding out what was wrong soon.

The day after I got my results was the 21st of May, the day my mum and I were meant to be flying out to the UK to see my sister and her boyfriend. It was already hard enough a month or so before when I had to cancel my flight, but this day was so SO difficult. I can’t remember the last time I cried so hard. I am so blessed to have a boyfriend like Josh though. He was by my side the whole day, and held me as I cried. Oh man I am crying as I write this now, it was such a hard time but I know I will see my sister again.

And then the day after THAT whole ordeal was my birthday, which was meant to be spent in London with Jess but it turned out to be the first birthday we’ve had apart. This day was also hard, but made better by being with loved ones and having dinner at my grandma and grandpa’s house. Grandma’s roast potatoes make everything better.

Went to Geelong to see the other side of my family, it was so good to see my nan again. I love her very much.

Went to the Briars with Bec and went on a lovely nature walk and saw a lot of little wallabies and even an emu

Had an ultrasound and my pain turned out to be a 10cm wide cyst!!! So fun!!!!! Thank the heavens it wasn’t a child. I was so relieved. It is still in my body so that’s cute tho.

June:

Applied for a bunch of jobs, and even got a few interviews! Still no job.

The absolute highlight of this month, and maybe even the whole year, was going away to Lake’s Entrance and Yarram with mum, dad and Josh. It was so good to go to the country, I love country towns so much and the wildlife and nature is so beautiful in the eastern part of Victoria. If you ever get the opportunity I recommend going there!

We ate so much nice food and just relaxed. It wasn’t a perfect replacement for not going to Europe, but it was something at least.

Did more work for Kivuli which kept me busy

Went to Bec’s house to bake a cake. She came out to me as bi this day too, and the cake was coloured like the bisexual flag!

Started a short course through the university I went to in Facebook for Business. It was a great way to build up my skills.

Played Animal Crossing with Dani’s little sister, Tami, a very wholesome time

Looked after Josh’s dog Jed while his family went away for the weekend (also went into the start of July) and was honestly the greatest time

July:

Halfway through the year. Thank fuck.

Had another job interview

Went on lots of walks

Was just generally cold

Did a lot of cleaning

Painted the downstairs rooms at church, which took a few days and a lot of back pain, but it’s cool to think that I was able to contribute my energy and time to something while I was not feeling good at all

The restrictions were tightened again, meaning that I couldn’t go further than 5kms away from my house, except to see Josh, so this was a really lonely time for me.

Really got into Masterchef with mum this season. They had all returning contestants from other seasons so that was really fun to watch.

Got and assembled a new couch upstairs that I can say I actually own myself. I absolutely love it.

More walks, despite the cold

This was a very uneventful month, but that’s ok!

August:

Had a call with the hospital I’ll be having my cyst surgery with. It was good to know that things would be started. I had to have a blood test and a second ultrasound then put on the waiting list for surgery. Still no sign on when that will be happening though 6 months later. Just so lucky to live in Australia where all of these appointments are free.

Went for a really nice long walk with Josh. Got shat on by a bird.

Did lots of stuff around the house, just tidying and watering the plants and sorting through my wardrobe to purge all the clothes I grew out of

Had an online Switch games night with some friends which was fun. We played Smash Bros. and Mario Kart and just had a great time!

Ok this sounds super lame but my favourite podcast, The Jenna & Julien Podcast, finished forever which came as a surprise and was just really sad. I really hope it comes back one day.

Did my tax return lmao

Baked rice puff/marshmallow bar things

Made an ASOS order to fill my happiness with material things. Did get some cute clothes and lingerie tho 😉

More games with Bec and Jess, we played Golf With Your Friends this time

Had a cocktail night with Josh, where we just made a bunch of fun cocktails and got drunk. I can’t wait to live with him so we can do this all the time.

Lots of Kivuli work, as we are planning for our 10th anniversary fundraising event

September:

Baked cookies, which was something I did a lot at the start of lockdown but sort of drifted away from. I absolutely love to bake.

Started working for Media-Wize, a small PR company that was started by someone I know at church.

Started playing Among Us at the start of the month

So many Among Us nights omg, just call me queen impostor please

Did my induction for Media-Wize

Got  n e r v o u s  because I kept getting things wrong in my new job. I always seem to fuck up the good things and opportunities that I get

Did a livestream reading of The Great Gatsby on my friend’s Twitch stream. It was really fun and something I had never done before. I voiced Tom Buchannan, which was interesting but cool to sort of get into the character. I hope to do something like this soon.

I burnt my hair while cooking dinner and had to give myself a haircut lmao. It was the first time since 2018 that I had cut it so it was a long time coming anyway.

So much Media-Wize work. It felt good to finally be getting paid to do a job

Got locked out of my bathroom so I had to climb up the laundry chute to unlock it from the inside, all because a fly outsmarted me (it’s a long story… and honestly best told by speaking it)

October:

Had the Kivuli 10th anniversary livestream. Lots of work went into it and it was so much fun! It’s incredible that a non-for-profit that has benefitted so many children and families is still going strong. Such a blessing to see.

Dad’s birthday, and we had a picnic with grandma and grandpa and saw them for the first time since lockdown was somewhat lifted

Walked to Beasley’s nursery with Josh and got a coffee. This was the first proper, not McCafe coffee I had had in months and it was SO good

Played Animal Crossing with Dani

More Among Us, a theme for the last few months of 2020

Watched the AFL Grand Final. Wasn’t super exciting this year tbh, especially since we couldn’t have a BBQ or party or anything, but hopefully next year will be different

Nearly moved out of home with a friend of a friend, but since I didn’t have a job, didn’t think it would be a wise decision. Would’ve been nice though

Did some more Media-Wize work. I haven’t been given anything to do since this time though, so I don’t know what’s going on with that? They really be ghosting me tho.

Applied for JobSeeker so I would at least be getting a little income

New Jackbox came out, and had a games night with The Boys playing all the new games

Voted in the local election

Went to Westerfold’s Park with Josh for a lovely long walk

Played lots of The Sims 4 (but tbh I have been doing this all year)

November:

This month things sort of started to turn around, as Covid wasn’t hitting my state hardly at all, so I was actually able to see family and friends again!

Went to my old primary school with Dani and played basketball and just shot around and talked. She also came over for dinner. It was so nice, and she is a true friend.

Had a picnic at the park at the top of the street with my dad’s side of the family, all together at last

Melbourne Cup Day, not that I really care but it’s nice to get a day off. Went on a day trip to the Dandenong mountain range. It was so, so nice and bought some lovely little things from local shops, went for a bushwalk and had a bakery lunch

Went to the park to throw the frisbee and kick the footy around with Josh and his friends, although they are my friends too tbh

Had a picnic with a group of friends that I hadn’t seen since January, so it was so, so good to catch up with them and have a delicious BBQ dinner

My favourite online comedy group, Aunty Donna’s Netflix series came out! Had a virtual watch party with a few friends and binge watched it all in one go

Had lunch with grandma. This used to be a weekly occurrence but for obvious reasons was put off for this year. I absolutely adore her and every lunch we spend together is so precious to me

Went to Kyneton with some of the family as another day trip

Christmas shopping time again. So weird to be at the shops and feel sort of normal? I went 4 different times in the span of a week and a half haha

Josh’s birthday! We went to this maze place with has a bunch of big mazes and other fun activities. It was such a perfect day. Then we had dinner with his family.

Got a letter from the IRS saying that I needed to provide them with proof of identity, so that was fun trying to sort that out. We love the outdated US tax system <3

Went to a bridal shower for my friend Katie

Went for another hike with Josh to the mountains

Drove down to Geelong for a friend’s wedding and stayed at my nan’s house

Had a pub dinner and Jackbox night while down in Geelong with The Boys

A good friend of mine was leaving to live in Japan for two years, so I went to her house one last time to say goodbye and chill in her pool and just hang out

God why is it so hard to get a job?

December:

Omg we have made it to December. It truly is a miracle with how this year went tbh. And if you have read this far, thank you but also, how little of a life do you have?

Went to my friend Katie’s wedding. Sort of surreal to go to a wedding during a pandemic but it was fun and I got to see a lot of friends I hadn’t seen in a while

Enjoyed the hot weather and went to the beach a number of times with a variety of friends

Went Christmas shopping, and just shopping in general since it was safe to and shops had finally opened again

Got a job at a talent agency where you get gigs as a paid extra in TV shows and movies, which was pretty cool! I even had a professional photoshoot to get headshots done, something that I had never done before. Glad that I could get some pictures to use on LinkedIn though haha. Still haven’t been cast in anything but here’s hoping.

Had dinner and drinks with Josh, Bec and Trev in the city for the first time since it reopened. God I love Melbourne so much. It is just so magical on balmy summer nights. This was such a special evening, and was so good just to be in the city again

Had a lovely day with Dani, starting with breakfast and then going on a hike before the weather got too hot. We went to Sherbrooke Forest, a place I hadn’t been before, and it was incredibly beautiful

Had a number of job interviews this month too, none of which got back to me which was annoying :/

Now it was heading into the time where every weekend is packed with Christmas do’s so I’ll just collate them in this point. Lots of drinks were consumed and many delicious roast dinners

Had our annual Christmas Carol’s service at church. It was a blessing to be back in the building for the first time since March, and to be able to do something I love (singing) with some of my best friends was the best

Christmas eve I went to my grandma and grandpa’s house (on dad’s side) to help them set up for Christmas lunch. Spending time together just the three of us is so special, and I am so glad I was able to come over and just chat and be in their loving presence. Then that night I went to our 11pm church service to bring in Christmas day. It was a great service and was great to see our kick-ass minister give a sermon face-to-face.

Ok here we go, Christmas was a doozy, let’s go. So Christmas lunch was, as I said, with my dad’s side of the family, which is always a great time. Cracking open crackers and fighting over who’ll get the bottle opener or nail clippers is always a highlight haha. But we had the fucking best roast potatoes I swear. I need to know what my grandma puts into them because I could genuinely eat 20 of them and still have space. Then the rest of the afternoon was spent in a food coma until I went to Josh’s house to spend dinner with his family. Another delicious meal and great banter was what I needed, although I can safely say that I put on at least 5 additional kilos after that day.

The next day the fam and I headed to Geelong to see my mum’s side of the family. Was a great drive down and I listened to all of The Avalanches new album which had just released. Easily the greatest album of the yeah hands-down. So we spent lunch there and absolutely stuffed ourselves with more food. Three Christmas meals really took a toll on me, but I am just blessed as it is to have a loving family and food on the table.

The next day dad, Josh and I headed to the beach to spend that weird time between Christmas and New Year’s. To get there we took the ferry that goes from Queenscliff to Portsea, which is always a fun time, since we don’t often go from one side of the bay to the other (if you don’t know the geography of Victoria I apologise lmao). Mum didn’t come with us as she had some symptoms of Covid, so went home to isolate and get tested. Thankfully she tested negative and she joined us the next day.

Once I got back home I had to prepare the house for my friend Jono who was visiting for new years from SA. Many last-minute chores and cleaning was done haha.

New Years Eve! Went to pick up Jono and my other friend Sarah from the airport and dropped Sarah off at her accommodation and ended up staying there with Jono for a while as this was where the New Year’s party was going to be. Although, in true Victorian fashion, our premier announced that there was going to be a limit of 15 visitors at any house from 5pm that night. Excellent. We love a last-minute change of plans. So we had lunch and spent the afternoon at my friend’s house before heading to a local park to chuck the frisbee and kick the footy around. We also had our second annual NYE trivia competition, which my team lost by 1 point!! Dang I get so competitive, but we will win next year, I can feel it. The new year came through uneventfully, we were in the middle of a game of Scattergories or something like that when someone changed the channel on the TV to see the Sydney fireworks across the screen and like, 4 second left of the countdown. I gave Josh a bog ol’ smooch and gave my friends a big hug. We had done it. 2020 was defeated.

Conclusion (damn this really be an essay tho)

This year was undeniably the hardest year I had ever been through. Going through unemployment for the majority of the year and having no sense of purpose hit me hard but I am entering 2021 with the hope and willingness to get on track with my career. And I think I will be successful. A lot of truly awful things happened around the world this year as well, with the devastating bushfires at the start of the year, the powerful BLM protests, Coronavirus absolutely destroying lives and many, many other global events but through it all, here we are. I hope you all keep well this year and that your 2021 is infinitely better than your 2020.

Song of the Year: Tangerine – Glass Animals

Album of the Year: We Will Always Love You – The Avalanches (I CANNOT stress this enough, but you absolutely must listen to this album!)

TV Show of the Year: The Mandalorian - Season 2

Movie of the Year: Bombshell (the only movie I saw at the cinemas so didn’t have much to go with)

Memory of the Year: Going away with my family and just enjoying time away with each other

Thank you for reading this, if you’ve made it this far, you’re a real one <3

#me #2020 #2020inreview #nostalgia #anactualnovel #iapologise

[ambitionsource]

S1 Rewatch: Lena’s Take [1.04]

its technically past midnight aka not rewatch day anymore but ill be DAMNED if i miss a reread day and dont have a chance to ramble abt all of this (and i always have a lot to say)!

favourite scene: either rl and the mistletoe... GOD BLESS BOLD FLIRTY RILEY AND OBLIVIOUS LUCAS.... or the scene where the divas n charlie all go off to the diner, a la farkle. very cute contrast from maya messing w the boys earlier in the ep, a step closer to friends and development for farkle, and serotonin for me because zay and charlie are hanging out (albeit with the two most dramatic, mood killing students aaa has to offer). it also shows that like. despite all the earlier drama and insults, at the end of the day they’ve all got each other’s backs.. they’re all in this together.

favourite performance: you’re a mean one mr grinch. comedy gold, literally right there. im joking when i say maya dismantled the patriarchy with the three words stink, stank, stunk, but like. go off ICON!

favourite character this ep: lucas kinda said im baby!! maya and riley also were really great, maya’s dual roles as warring diva fighting for her spotlight and loving daughter craving her mother’s time really showcase the versatility of her character and make her a very sympathetic character eho is simultaneously an absolute baddie. riley’s here because this ep (read: every ep,) she’s just a helpful sweetie that had never done wrong ever in her life (lucas: i know this and i love you)

favourite line: “take me for a test drive.” oh sweet riley. you are my darling.

an underrated moment: theres a lot this ep and idk if this is really one of them but i want to say that nothing is funnier television than lucas just. stopping mid forkful when riley sits down. its also lovely on a more serious note because it’s the first time we really see anyone have the upper hand with lucas, or get a reaction that isn’t detached cool, annoyance and boredom, or anger. it’s a nice little moment that holds a LOT of lovely rl weight considering she is the first one to really cause a split second of POSITIVE vulnerability

something i missed the first time around: just mentions of charlie avoiding zay, esp at the beginning. made me a touch sad :( zay n charlie please positively interact so i can rewatch u fall in love for a pinch of serotonin.

first impression vs your reread impression: i completely forgot jack and shawn had those sweet brotherly holiday moments!! i hope we get more of them being good bros in s2. anyway i liked this ep both times very much, but staying consistent to my other ep rereads, i think i was able to appreciate it a lot more rereading it!! full of GOOD techie moments (i love it when the loveably dysfunctional family dynamic of the techie crew is highlighted... also for some reason i find myself incredibly attached to jade as a character

--

let me be the first to say that we LOVE that you have lots to say!!! that’s what we’re all ABOUT fam!!! that’s what we want!! we stan!! “because zay and charlie are hanging out (albeit with the two most dramatic, mood killing students aaa has to offer).” WHY DID I LAUGH SO HARD... 

so lucas definitely did say im baby (he is), but your lil mini dissertation about riley having the upper hand with him... whew. whew! yeah! that’s MY serotonin for the day. you’re right you said that completely right... hm guess i will go cry over how much i love them. word up on that!

#S1 reread #S2 countdown #submission #LENA YOU ARE SO ICONIC MA'AM #thanks for participating <333333 #your points... you made all of them!!!!

[ofdasoms]

     ┅ ☆ ★ ✮ ∟ ‖ park sooyoung (joy). 22. cisfemale. she/her. ‖ — ripped black tights, poker face permantely on show, always playing with fire. 」did you hear that JANG ‘DAISY’ DA-SOM is planning on attending the next race ?! i won’t lie, i’m pretty excited to see their MIDNIGHT PURPLE 2014 CHEVROLET CAMARO SS in person. i know people say they’re really COMPETITIVE, HARD-WORKING & ENDEARING, but don’t you think they come off way too IMPULSIVE , SINGLE-MINDED & HOT-HEADED ? i hear they’re always blasting THROW A FIT by TINASHE ? oh well, they’re a member of the HELLCATS so i guess i shouldn’t complain.

ok so,,,, dasom is the perfect example of not judging a book by its cover,, bc she looks sweet as hell and can sometimes look innocent, but shes far from it sdkfgjh

her family life was pretty great growing up. both of her parents were teachers and her older brother and sister were pretty much the angels of the family,, and dasom was always looked down upon. she wasn’t as smart as them, and she certainly wasn’t as friendly as them either.

her parents knew she was a problem ever since she was younger --- she was five years old when she had been sent home four times in one week for hitting someone or for losing her temper, and it ultimately resulted in her having to transfer schools.. something that happened all the way up into high school

she was fifteen when she was expelled from her fourth high school, and having attended and been kicked out of all the nearby schools, dasom was sent off to boarding school. her parents were truly hoping that it would straighten her out and that she’d stop being a brat,,, but it truly didn’t work. the only reason she hadn’t been kicked out was the fact her parents were paying a whoooole lot of money to keep her there.

nevertheless, she graduated early at seventeen and left with a diploma and a boyfriend. he was the one to show her this whole new life,, and the one who introduced her to drugs and using sex to get whatever the hell she wanted. he didn’t stick around for long considering dasom was trash and cheated on him once she realised she was also hella into girls. though he didn’t know that at the time -- the only reason he split up with her was because he caught her talking to some guy on a sugar daddy website,,,,, bc yes dasom is tHAT type of girl

she loves luxury, she loves money,,, and she’s always needed someone to help and supply that for her. (wc??? maybe idk)

it wasn’t until that she was introduced and discovered more about the hellcats that she started becoming more independent. she started realising how powerful she could be --- and not through just using her body. she started using her brain more, started being more strategic.. and started loving being deceptive eVEN MORE

oKAY SO she’s now a drug dealer and dancer for the hellcats bc she still likes that thrill of having all the eyes on her but she ultimately likes doing business more than anything

on top of being a dealer,, and a decent one at that, she’s a pretty good pickpocket!! so like,,,, pls watch ur wallet, phone and watches around her,, bc she has no morals

speaking of having no morals,, she’s v competitive and loves the rivalry between gangs, but like get a good few drinks in her and sHE will open up to anybody!! she’s prob slept with a few kings members on few occasions, but u bet ur ass she’s most likely going to ignore them or really not remember who they are

massive flirt,,, which i mentioned all ready. she will 100% drop a cringy ‘is that right, oppa?’ to get what she wants as usual ASDJFHHJDS

only rlly cares about herself unless ur on her good side

will fight ANYBOD Y even tho shes only 120lbs,, like if ur 6′4′’ and been boxing for years??? shes still ready to throw hands

if something happens to her car??? you know she’s just going to beg somebody to help her fix it

but ultimately shes just got a big heart for those she loves and cares about bc she needs that human interaction considering how many people shes fucked over in the past asdkfgjhedf

for being a bAD BITCH,,, shes hella emotional so ya good luck with that

smol wanted connections suggestions??:

people she can tolerate?? so like people from hellcats who shes like ‘uh ur cool ig’

give me that good friend(s) of hers?? she prob considers them a best friend bc she aint got much and no fam to love except for the gang so,,, ya

she hates a whole lot of people too so that could either be from the hellcats or kings idk

ur typical fwb plot,, and again,,,, no morals daisy over here will sleep with anybody from hellcats or even kings,,

she’s a dancer so??? has she caught ur muses eye before and we can bounce from that??

anybody she deals to

has she gotten in trouble with ur muse before?? has she pickpocketed them and gotten caught??

she hates a lot of people, but surely people hate her guts too so give me that relationship!!!

idk,,,, i’ll prob make a better wc page in the future but thats all i can think of for now!!! pls feel free to message me and im v excited to write with yall 💖

#tempointro #I'LL BE YOUR EVERYTHING ( MUSINGS !! )

[thatonecurlygirl]

just read your camp counselor hc and i am in LOVE. can you write a steve x reader where they kind of sneak around to make out and stuff in between activities or at night? maybe they get caught? maybe they fall in the lake?? idk fam you can take if from there. thank you 💗💗

Over the past few days, the kids had been pushing harder than ever for you and Steve to get together, said that the two of you would make a good couple and that they were tired of all the tension. Little did they know, in your free time the both of you had been sneaking around to the quietest places so that you and he could make out. It started out as a game, seeing who could find the best make-out spots and turned into the two of you sneaking out when everyone else is asleep to make out wherever the hell you want to.

You wait until exactly midnight before crawling off your bunk and checking around to make sure the girls are asleep. Once you are certain they are fast asleep, you quietly sneak out of the cabin door and out to the dock where Steve is already waiting for you.

“Hey, handsome.” You smile and sit down beside him on the dock. “The boys are asleep quicker than usual.” You say with an impressed look on your face.

“They were out as soon as their heads hit the pillow.” Steve chuckles, staring up at the moon and stars and turning his gaze to look at you, staring longingly into your eyes.

“What?” You ask with a giggle as his eyes are still trained on you.

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this.” He leans in, pressing his lips to yours.

His lips are soft but press into yours with a tasteful fervor. The way he kisses makes you melt and your toes tingle. It’s as if yours and his lips were meant to be together like this and you can’t think of anything other than his lips on yours. That is until you realize the both of you are falling off the dock.

You fall off with a loud gasp, hitting the water with an even louder splash and resurfacing right at the end where you fell off. You look at Steve and his wet hair plastered to his face and you giggle, reaching out to push the hair away.

“Hello?” A voice calls out into the darkness and the beam of a flashlight scans across the water.

“Shh,” Steve shushes you and pulls you up under the dock to hide the both of you from sight so you are not to get caught.

You cover your mouth to muffle the giggles as Steve holds you close to his chest, his body shaking as he silently laughs. You look up at him, it’s a little difficult to see but you can make out a few of his features as you press your lips back onto his and he pulls you as close as he can to his body. You have no idea how long the two of you were making out under the dock but when you pull away the person is gone and you are shivering from cool summer night that Indiana often gets.

“We should probably head back.” You say quietly.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He says as he swims out in front of you just to make sure no one is still out there before waving you out to follow.

The two of you make it back to dry land and walk hand in hand back to your cabins, sopping wet and quietly giggling. The two of you are so caught up in each other that you don’t realize that there is someone standing a few feet away. The sound of them clearing their throat causing you and Steve to jump, dropping each other’s hands out of reflex.

“Dustin? Lucas? What are you two doing out here?” Steve asks in a whispered yell.

“We could ask you two lovebirds the same thing but we already know the answer to that,” Dustin says, wiggling his eyebrows and making kissy faces and stopping when Lucas hits him.

“When were you going to tell us?” Lucas asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“When the time was right?” Steve sighs, wondering why he even has to give them an explanation.

“We feel betrayed but I hope you’re happy.” Lucas shakes his head. “Tell her goodnight and let’s go to bed.” 

“Kids,” Steve huffs and shakes his head as he looks at you. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He reaches out for your hand, gently squeezing it before walking away with the boys.

“Goodnight.” You call out quietly as you walk up the steps to the cabin.

“Night.” 

tags: @theconscientiouswriter

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #cc!steve x reader #cc!steve #cc!au #camp counselor au #summer camp au #stranger things #stranger things x reader #joe keery

[theragamuffininitiative]

Tagged!

@dearponty tagged me in this one, thanks friend! ^_^

@notatypicaldimension, @thisbibliomaniac, @crazytwist09, @party-with-books, @enchantedblackforest, @mariposamonarch (if you wonderful peoples want to. And even if I didn’t tag you, feel free! That’s a constant rule on this blog. :) )

— what was your last…

1. drink: orange juice

2. phone call: My mom or my grandmother.

3. text message: My sister-in-law.

4. song you listened to: "He’s Not Here!” from !Hero

5. time you cried: It’s been a little while. I’ve gotten teary over a lot of beautiful things especially over Easter, and I got pretty upset over something dumb that made me want to cry in anger, but I haven’t actually cried in a bit.

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: Nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Nada

8. been cheated on: Negatory

9. lost someone special: Yes.

10. been depressed: Yup.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope-aroo.

— fave colours

12. Purple

13. Navy + assorted blues

14. Peach/Coral <<same as Ponty

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Yesss. Love them. ^_^

16. fallen out of love: You have to first be in love for this one, right? XD

17. laughed until you cried: Yeahhh lol

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes but so far not in a bad way?

19. met someone who changed you: I think everyone you meet changes you, but yeah I can think of a good few.

20. found out who your friends are: I love how this assumes we all constantly get ourselves embroiled in toxic relationships we have to discover aren’t true. Like, I am way too cautious in initiating relationships for that. It may happen, but not yet. I’ve got good friends and I love them.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Ew. No.

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Most all of them, but most of them not very well.

23. do you have any pets: I MISS MY PUPPER AND MY KITTEHS. Technically I have a godchild cat...or niece cat...something like that. She’s a percentage mine. XD

24. do you want to change your name: Nah.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I spent time with family, spread out over a couple days and tbh I kinda don’t remember a whole lot. I think I watched a movie, my fam made me dinner and there were sweet cards and gifts. ^_^

26. what time did you wake up today: 9 am. I stayed up late last night. XD

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Watching !Hero: the Rock Opera, and also getting distracted not watching !Hero.

28. what is something you can’t wait for: This askjdlgs episode of Supergirl - alternatively, “Jeremy Jordan returning to Broadway.” Also, getting to see The Lion King in about a month. !!!

30. what are you listening to right now: Traffic outside my apartment. Birds in the courtyard. Occasionally my neighbor moving around upstairs.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yup. A couple Thomases, and I worked with a Tom previously, and work with a much nicer Tom now.

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: Supergirl’s deeply flawed existence is a constant mood, and I’m having frustrations with a relationship that I don’t know how to solve. :/

33. most visited website: Youtube and Tumblr are probably about equal.

34. hair colour: Hehe wouldn’t you like to know. <<I second Ponty. ;) ;)

35. long or short hair: Longish. Thinking about getting it cut, but idk how short.

36. do you have a crush on someone: I get friend crushes a lot. Like I fall hopelessly in love with somebody, but not in a romantic way, just in a “I want to hang out with you and do dumb fun stuff together because you seem so cool” sort of way.

37. what do you like about yourself: I always seem to answer these the same way, but whatever? I like my (semi dormant?? ha) creativity, and that I’m usually a pretty patient, forgiving person. That might sound weird, or bragging, but it’s not something that comes without practice, so I think it’s okay for me to like/be proud of that.

38. want any piercings: I’ve been saying I should get my ears pierced for like ten years now.

39. blood type: I honestly have no idea, why don’t they give you this information when you get a copy of your birth certificate, or have a check-up? Seems kinda important. XD

40. nicknames: Here? “Rags” and many variations thereof. I also have a lot of nicknames irl but a lot of them have kind of petered out of usage.

41. relationship status: Single pringleeeeee.

42. sign: Aquarius I think but it has no relevance so.

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: Fringe or White Collar or Psych maybe.

45. tattoos: I don’t have any, but if I ever got one, it’d be Needtobreathe lyrics.

46. right or left handed: Right. Which is funny because in the artistic circles I run in, I’ve often been the odd one out. XD

47. ever had surgery: I split my head open once. That explains a lot. ;)

48. piercings: Noooone

49. sport: BASEBALL

50. vacation: NYC (literally just to see shows) or the mountains somewhere or Europe, particularly Edinburgh and London. And anywhere honestly on the East coast of this country, because it’s so rich in history.

51. trainers: Shoes, right? Or people who have trained me?? I’m confused. I buy from Payless. I like Converse but who can afford them. XD I’d rather wear something sensible but stylish anyway, and the one shoe I actually care about is Oxfords. I want me a pair of Oxfords.

— more general

52. eating: I am so hungry. I’m going to swing by a cafe and eat because I have a freebie there. But generally, I love pasta and pizza and eggs and toast for breakfast. And fruit.

53. drinking: Water, tea, orange juice, Pepsi.

54. I’m about to watch: I have a bunch of things in my Youtube “watch later” list, including some talks by Jason Robert Brown. Oh! I’m going to rewatch Doctor Strange with some of my favorite peeps tonight. ^_^

55. waiting for: “Schott Through the Heart” and Lion King again. Also, the lunch rush to pass before I go to the cafe.

56. want: Actual furniture in my bedroom. It’s beginning to bother me. I just want a little desk, a little shelf, and a little nightstand like thing. I can wait longer for a proper bed.

57. get married: Maybe someday. I’m not seeking it out right now. :)

58. career: I’ve just started my first job in a theater, and though it’s not with the production process itself, I am loving it, and hoping to move backstage sometime soon. I want to have a career in theater, probably as a writer or at least writing scripts/novels on the side.

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes

61. shorter or taller: shorter?

62. older or younger: older?

63. nice arms or stomach: ?? what kind of a. Smile. Nice smile is 100% the most attractive thing.

64. hookup or relationships: relationships. 100%. <<amen

65. troublemaker or hesitant: In a relationship?? Hesitant, I guess, if it means they/you are being careful and serious.

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: Nope

67. drank hard liquor: No why would i put myself through that miserable experience lol <<<saaaaame

68. turned someone down: A couple of times.

69. sex on first date: no

70: broken someone’s heart: Doubtful.

71. had your heart broken: Nope.

72. been arrested: Ha. No.

73. cried when someone died: Yes.

74. fallen for a friend: Again, no. Although idealistically that’s a cool way to go. :)

— do you believe in

75. yourself: To a healthy extent, I think. I believe in other things more, but I definitely believe in what I ought to be doing and how I have to work to do. I’ve gained a lot of self-confidence in the past four years, kind of a totally different person now - thank heaven.

76. miracles: I see them all the time.

77. love at first sight: Ish? Appreciation/attraction/clicking immediately can happen, and that can grow into love.

78. santa claus: He exists in every way that counts.

79. angels: Yes.

— misc

80. eye colour: Wouldn’t you like to knoooooow. ;) Idk, it’s probably in another tag/ask post I’ve done on here somewhere lol.

81. best friend’s name: I don’t know that I have one exact best friend rn. There are a handful of individuals I am super close to, and people I know I can tell anything to, and people I just love to hang out with, and I always want to make them happy. <3

82. favourite movie: Newsies Live. It counts, and I know for a fact I have watched it more than any other movie so there.

83. favourite actor: Jeremy Jordan. (woooooowwwww shooockkkerrrrrr)

84. favourite cartoon: Tangled: the Series, and Trollhunters. (Those count, right?) I didn’t watch a lot of traditional cartoons growing up. Just Disney movies.

85. favourite teacher’s name: If I say anyone other than my amazing mother who homeschooled me and my siblings, I’d have to say: Clint. He taught me how to play guitar, and he was pretty fantastic as a role model too. I loved being his student, even if I was too withdrawn at the time to properly take advantage of it or show my appreciation for him.

#thanks for the tag! #ponty friend #about me

[dear-chaton]

1-100 bb

BAbe lol why it’s fine but oh dear lord who’s ready to another long af ask?

Bc I just answered some of these I will link to the first part here^^

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal bc I don’t care if it get soggy

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Lots of cream, milk and sugar.

6: do you keep plants? Nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Writing I guess? I didn’t pick up drawing or painting till late last year

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Always, singing to myself as I fill this out right now haha

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side but curled up nearly in fetal position bc I’m lanky as hell

12: what’s your favorite planet? Mercury?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Either really pastel or grungey

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! In space metal sticks together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Lasagna

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I like to point out friends spelling mistakes on discord and pin them so that everyone sees bc I’m slightly dyslexic so it’s funny when I do catch mistakes

20: what’s your favorite eye color? I love green and blue eyes

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. There’s many of those lol

22: are you a morning person? Nope

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? No, I don’t like to have one single person that knows every single little thing about me, I have multiple people that know many things that I trust to them but often those things rarely overlap

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where?

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? It’s a tie between my pug shoes or my cat shoes bc they have memory foam soles since I work on my feet all day I wanna have some comfort on my off days

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Just plain regular bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?  Oh yeah plenty of times

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. It was after a friends party last year and we just sat in her living room comparing the average guys dick size for some reason 😂

33: what’s your fave pastry? Croissants

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s a really big bunny rabbit, I don’t think I ever named it to be fair and yeah I keep it on my bed nearly all the time and it’s something I use to comfort me if I’m sad and wipe away the tears if I cry :’)

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes lol but I more so collect them than use them

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Either skillet or Pentatonix

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Hate when people cut me off when I’m saying something, I barely talk so when I do I’m a little miffed if I don’t quite get to finish my train of thought, I also hate when people chew loudly in a quiet setting like please no save me

39: what color do you wear the most? A navy blue or a jade green

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I guess the most important to me is my purity ring and I’ve had that thing since I was 13 so nearly 8 years I’ve been wearing it and yeah

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! It’s kind of quiet and quaint but it’s fabulous to have study groups there and sit there for hours I feel bad for the people that deal with us but it’s so nice

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Being in the back of my boyfriends car, cuddling him

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Ha nope

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. What’s the favourite movie for cats to watch? The Sound of Mewsic (you can pry cat puns out of my cold dead hands)

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Heights and yes still hate it

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I love cds and the last one I bought I can’t actually remember it’s kind of been a while^^

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Bears from each state

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Misbehaving by Pentatonix or The Only Exception by Paramore

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? That despicable me meme bc I love those movies okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My friend Stirling who just had to put his dog down :(

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Screeched and lunged for my phone I guess erm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Just the small things you don’t think of when you think of a particular person like someone will bring a blanket to our group between breaks and we’ll all huddle underneath it or someone will push two couches together so people can cuddle and/or spoon and be cute like stop being so freaking cute sometimes okay,

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It’s interesting I’ll say that

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I am bc I’m the oldest of my friends and therefore the only one who’s roughly allowed to drink but no seriously my role on two discord servers is a toss up between Wine Aunt or Wine Goddess like I don’t make this shit up

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Have never really liked poetry so uh

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? On my bookshelf there’s all my favorites out on display but the rest are kind just shoved into boxes

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? It’s dark out bc it’s nearly midnight 

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My best friend even though I haven’t been the greatest friend and not talked with her in a while >.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Soft with white and light blue flowers I guess?

68: what’s winter like where you live? Hot and humid most of the year with a week or two of what the fuck Florida

69: what are your favorite board games? Checkers

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Most definitely

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Always ready to fight

75: tell us about your pets! I had a puppy that I had to give away over the summer, she wasn’t really a puppy she was a little on the older side but I really loved her and miss her a lot

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Studying but my classes are pretty easy

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Neither

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t mind them but since my nephew likes them I tolerate them

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? One wall is just a hot pink bc that was the color of my sheets at some point but I’m gonna paint it to a pastel mint hopefully soon

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Like an iceberg, so cold it pierced my soul (idk either man)

82: are/were you good in school? Pffffffft that’s hilarious

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I wanna get one tattoo is it’s simply ❝&❞ and on my left inner wrist

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No not really, haha

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Homeward Bound bc that is my shit okay

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t like cities so um yeah

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Er maybe to the city to go to a con but otherwise not planning to travel much

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Drowns it with cheese, after taking a lactaid pill of course

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? It’s almost always with a headband of sorts

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My friend Mags

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Going on a date and going boating with my family

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I always procrastinate them lol my computer must hate me

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? It was 6? Years ago and I didn’t have the right shoes and slipped on some mud and fell

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I have a YouTube playlist for that shit lol there’s like 100 songs i listen to on repeat

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future bc hell if I’m about to relive my past again no thanks fam I’m good

Really Fucking Cute Questions

#Anon #answered #kiwi talks shit #ask meme

[shut-ur-pi-h0le-blog]

Boyfriend Problems

So, to start off, lets be clear I have a lot of anxiety. I have anxiety attacks semi-often, which isn’t exactly the best for my emotional state and I’m going to try to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression. 

A lot has happened since I’ve started college. My grandam died the first couple of weeks I went there. My dad finally got married (and then I had to officiate my cousins wedding the next day in a different state), and I’ve tried dating. There are other things going on, too, such as school and other things to add to our stressful lives, but I’m gonna focus on my BF. 

He’s a really sweet guy, and the more I’m with him the more I realize that I think I’ve fallen in love. However, I know it’s not the same for him. We both struggle a lot with things that happened in our past, and both of us are under the transgender umbrella, but he’s not out to his family so he deals with a lot of dysphoria when he goes home, but he really loves his fam. And he struggles to talk about his feelings, and I’m trying really hard to be there for him, as long as he lets me. I can be a kind of forceful person, because I tend to want to know everything that’s going on so I can really help my friend or whoever is feeling bad. But I’ve restrained myself because I know that it would probably just make him uncomfortable, so when he tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it I don’t push it. But lately it’s not just that anymore. I feel like I’m trying so hard in this relationship because I really want us to work out. I really really like him and I love the person he is, even if he doesn't see how wonderful he is himself right now. But, he’s been doing a poor job of showing me how much he likes me in return. 

Right when we got together there was a lot of drama over his ex who decided to come visit out of the blue, and honestly that story will take forever so another time on that. But, even after everything that happened, I stayed with him because I knew that he really liked me and he was just too nice and didn’t want to hurt the other girls feelings. But now.. well I don’t know how to deal. He still talks to her all the time, she constantly wants to call him and text him and will tell him how much she loves him and everything. He went to her house for thanksgiving because he’s really close to her mom. She Skyped him on Christmas (He didn’t even call me), and he told me he thought I wouldn’t want to be around for New Years because she was going to face time him again. We ended up spending New Years together, but she called right before Midnight and kept talking to him until it was 2018. I got really pissed and told him he needed to show me that he actually cared and that I was a priority to him because, honestly, I’ve been trying my damn hardest to show that I’m here for him and that no matter what, like I’d drop everything if it meant we got to spend time together. 

And to be honest, if he keeps talking to the ex... I just don’t know what to do. I think my biggest fear of breaking up with him is how alone I’d feel. We’ve only been dating for 2 months and I’m honestly so attached and he’s helped me with coping with a lot that’s happened and calmed me down during some anxiety attacks. I remember when I got mad and yelled at him, I told him how my aunt thought I should go to a psychiatrist since the anxiety attacks have been getting worse, and he told me that that’s what he was here for, to help me through shit like that. Idk what to do.

#boyfriend #issues #blog #long blog #boyfriend problems #anxiety #anxiety attacks #depression

[paperbackphoenix]

92 questions holy shit

I was tagged by the marvellous @phoebe-does (why phoebe, why, it’s so many)

Rules: answer the 92 questions and tag 20 people

last… drink: water rip

phone call: umm my friend liv i think? asking “where tf are you”

text message: “Nearly at the top” honestly can’t remember what that meant

song you listened to: moonlight sonata by beethoven bc im a nerd

time you cried: literally today because patrick rothfuss is a fantastic writer and kvothe’s life is sad

have you.. dated someone twice: what does ‘dated’ mean?

kissed someone and regretted it: my mom oh my god, i’m joking

been cheated on: no

lost someone special: no, actually, i’ve been very lucky so far

been depressed: the emotion? yes. otherwise, no

gotten drunk and thrown up: fuck alcohol guys

list three favorite colors… colors: blue, lilac, grey (i am aware this is a shade)

in the last year, have you… made new friends: yeah!

fallen out of love: was never in it m8

laughed until you cried: absolutely

found out someone was talking about you: yeah and my friend recorded the conversation (argument) lmao

met someone who changed you: not really?

found out who your friends are: nah this past year has had like no drama whatsoever

kissed someone on your Facebook list: no, and who uses facebook anymore? look i might use the messenger app but that’s it

general… how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all bar internet friends

any pets: no and i’m salty about it

do you want to change your name: not really, but if I had to i would happily

what did you do for your last Birthday: had some friends round and played games

what time did you wake up: 7am

what were you doing at midnight last night: listening to the harry potter audiobooks (my g stephen fry)

something you can’t wait for: hamilton!!!!!! hamilton at the west end in april!!!

when was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour ago?

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my procrastination. it would’ve saved me a lot of grief last year

what are you listening to right now: mendelssohn’s symphony no.3 (tbh if you don’t listen to classical music, you’re missing out)

have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah its a really common ass name

something that is getting on your nerves: these questions no ummm my history coursework; i picked the one question that doesn’t fit the structure they want us to use

most visited websites: youtube and tumblr maybe?

other info about myself… mole/s: fucking hell yeah it’s all my mom’s fault

mark/s: i never usually scar but i’ve got one on my knee now from having to continuously skid across the floor in a play (dedication)

childhood dream: i’ve wanted to be loads of things. let’s say an actor

hair color: blonde, but also purple atm

long or short hair: its kind of in the middle?

do you have a crush on someone: no, thank fuck. i just see people and think how painfully attractive they are and that they probably aren’t gay

what do you like about yourself: my creativity

piercings: i have 2 on each lobe

blood type: who knows this shit

nickname: purple becky, because there are 2 becky’s in my circle of friends

relationship status: standing alone on a hill in a big flowy dress

zodiac: leo

pronouns: she/her

favorite TV show: ummmmm game of thrones is really good, but i don’t watch tv a lot

tattoos: none because you have to be 18. i’ll probs get one maybe

right or left hand: right

surgery: never

hair dyed in different color: purple, and i want to experiment more at some point in my life

sport: whats this? i played tennis for a long time but now my sport is stress

vacation: i’d love to go to scandinavia and see the northern lights. OR canada

sneakers: we call them trainers here

more general…

eating: what is this even asking? i’m not eating anything right now? i want ice cream though

drinking: water still

i’m about to: watch something with the fam I think

waiting for: college to start yikes

want: to get my alevels over and done with

get married: marriage sounds a bit shit and expensive tbh

career: editor? author? actor? idk man

hugs or kisses: hugs man they feel 10/10

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: who can be shorter than me (i’m not actually that small)

older or younger: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? older i guess?

nice arms or nice stomach: a nice stomach that doesn’t get so fucking hungry all the time (who cares about arms?)

sensitive or loud: loud as fuck

hook up or relationship: right hook

what am i

troublemaker or hesitant: god i obey rules even if i hate them. i’m scared of getting into trouble rip

have you ever… kissed a stranger: who the fuck do you think i am

drank hard liquor: yeah, i bought my dad some spiced rum (i wanted the bottle tbh) and it fucking burned. twice. there was the rum burn and then the spice burn a few seconds later. not pleasant.

lost glasses/contact lenses: not so far. i don’t need my glasses all the time though

turned someone down: lmao yeah

sex on the first date: how dare you i am a maiden

broken someone’s heart: i doubt it, the guy was like 13 at the time

had your heart broken: no

been arrested: fucking no

cried when someone died: robb and catelyn stark

fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in… yourself: sometimes i wonder if i actually exist

miracles: not really? i’ll say “WOW THATS A MIRACLE” when its just like... idk luck?

love at first sight: nah that’s bs

santa claus: i’m not 6

kiss on the first date: depends???

other… current best friend name: elie

eye color: blue/grey

favorite movie: god idk? grand budapest hotel?

FINALLY, THE END

ok i tag: @bvkspine @boneseasonofglass @kat-from-minasmorgul @beckisbookshelf @word-stuck @teaandalotofbooks @happybibliosaurus

i’m... not tagging 20 people soz

#about me #paperbackphoenix #tags #wow #did you need to know all this #no

[laytmblr]

OMG I HAVE 200 STALKERS

Yeah, not stalkers, but followers. But it was way much more fun to put it like that hehe ;)

Sooooo, OMG! 200 of you decided that I was worth following. YOU GUYS HAVE LIFTED MY MOOD TODAY!!! It’s probably not much compared to other blogs, but I don’t like to compare myself to others, we are all unique and different, and the world is better that way :D

I didn’t do anything when I passed the 100, because honestly I was in too much shock HAHA When I started this, it was to meet people who have the same craziness than me about BTS (and Kpop) and I really thought I wouldn’t go pass 25 followers. FAM YOU'VE MADE MY DAY!!!!

I’ve been tag, not long ago, by @mimibtsghost​ for a 60 TRUTHS TAG thing and I’m doing it now to celebrate! This way, all of you will get to know a little more about me ^_^ Here we go:

Nickname(s): Lay (honestly it’s why it’s all over my SNS accounts)

Bias: MIN F*CKING GENIUS YOONGI

Blood type: O

R/s: Not at the moment, but it’s a choice though ;)

Birthday: June 8th

Zodiac sign: Gemini

Pronouns: Biologically: She/Her. Psychologically: None. Both. Idk, idc ^^

Hair leight: Short, with sidecut

Height: 165 cm

A crush: Im Jaebum, Choi Youngjae, Jackson Wang, Mark Tuan, Choi Junhong, Choi Seunghyun, HAHA

What do you like about yourself: My eyes and my open mind

Right or left handed: Right handed

List of three favourite colors: Black, Red and Grey

(Right now) eating: My tongue (because lunch is over)

(Right now) drinking: Tea (YES, I almost wrote Tae...)

I’m about to: Sadly get back to work T.T

Listening to: Love Who Loves You Back - Tokio Hotel (Don’t fight me that song is gold)

Kids: EW NO THANKS

Get married: What for?

Recent phone call: A wrong number

(Have you ever) Dated someone twice: Yes. And broke up twice too HAHA

Been cheated on: I don’t know. They’ve been clever enough to never get caught!

Kissed someone and regretted it: Nop

Lost someone special: Yes. Sad shit. Life. Stuff.

Been depressed: Oh yeah... bad stuff too.

Been drunk and thrown up: Yeaaaaaah, not my best moments HAHA

Had glasses or contacts: I wear glasses actually, because without them, I can’t see past 2 meters away from me

Had sex on the first date: Nah. Definitely something I have to correct though HAHA

Broken someone’s heart: Not proud of it, but yeah. Didn’t mean to though. Just life.

Turned someone down: I hate those moments but yeah...

Cried when someone died: IRL: Of course. Other: Yes my poor heart! Sirius Black, Kili I w-will always re-remember youuuu... *sobs*

Fallen for a friend: No, friends are friends

(In the last year have you) made a new friend: YES I LUV HER SHE MADE MY LIFE BETTER (I’ve made more than one, but my heart thought of her first. Guuuuurl! You Know.)

Laughed until you cried: Every tuesday with BTS xD

Met someone who changed you: BTS. They didn’t change me, but they helped me find my true self and it changed a lot of things for me.

Found out who your true friends were: Oh yeah. A long time ago, I ditched the bitch who was holding me down and back, and my real true friends remained with me.

Found out someone was talking about you: A long time ago but, meh, teenagers are stoopid

Lips or eyes: BOTH. I want to look someone in the eyes before I kiss them.

Hugs or kisses: Depends on my mood. But most of the times, none ^^

Shorter or taller: I don’t care

Romantic or spontaneous: I’m not the relashionship-kinda-person, so I’ll go with spontaneous ;)

Sensitive or loud: Me? Depends. Both.

Hookup or relationship: HOOKUP. Don’t even need reflexion on this one HAHA

First best friend: A Bitch.

Surgery: Couple fractures and a Carpal Tunnel Syndrome surgery not long ago.

Sports I joined: Roller Derby. First as a player, then as a referee and then again as a player.

Do you believe in yourself: With my choices in life, yes very much. With other people, meh... not so much ^^

Miracles: Just a word

Love at first sight: Interesting in fictions

Heaven: ... let’s not talk about that... ^_^

Do you have any pets: Not anymore

Do you want to change your name: No, too much paperwork

What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing

What time did you wake up today: 7:30 am (and I was late)

What were you doing last night at midnight: Downloading a video to get the audio, to change my alarm ringtone. #TrueStory

Something you can’t wait for: I heard of Suga collaborating with someone... and I’m still desperately waiting Hobi’s mixtape!

Last time you saw your mom: Few days ago... maybe more...

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My gender. Being a girl sucks.

What’s getting on your nerves: Injustices (in the large meaning of it) and haters. (and sooooooo many other little things hehe)

I can’t tag all 200 of you here, it would take me days HAHA! BUT! I’m gona tag 20 of you! Of course, if I don’t tag you, but you wanna do it anyways, feel free to tag me somewhere in a corner so I can get to know you a little too ;)

@kpopisruiningme @bamhoe @itzisnotaghost @harrystylesismyreligion @eat-the-fucking-strawberry @willwesurvivetoday @miinyooongii @omgtaetaethings @kaep-jjang-veryjjang @sofythaaa @jihminshi @bulletproofgot7 @bootaecall @small-yoonmin @sadistic-kihyun @lolopop-wang @sunlitae @sofihobi @sugarsgrr @nochu-jungshook

#tagged #60 truth facts #200 followers OMG #I LOVE YOU GUYS #my life #thank you all so much

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #72

hey ya’ll, kinda conflicting moods in this survey; the earlier, dreary-sounding answers, please do not worry about them, as i took this over the course of longer than a week.  i was hospitalized this past week and am currently home safe again.  i just don’t feel like going back changing answers, lol.

are you currently distressed about anything?   yes, quite a bit.  i found the gem to the ring jason gave me, but i can't find the ring itself... i really wanna fix it and wear it.  i'm pretty damn upset about the situation, considering how much i cherish anything i've ever had from him. do you like your pop tarts toasted or cold?   i like them how they are in the package. do you like sitting in the front, back, or middle of the classroom?   i prefer the front, 'cuz i can see better and i feel more obligated to engage. what’s your least favorite flavor of candy?   orange do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before?   no. which is worse: living where there’s lots of tornadoes or lots of hurricanes?   tornadoes, definitely.  i live where there are plenty of hurricanes, and the last one we had that was truly devastating was floyd, and that occurred when i was a very young child.  tornadoes, meanwhile, are more immediately dangerous. have you ever seen a black rose?   no, but i would loooove to... do you like pie?   no, actually. if you died right now, how would you feel about your life?   it was a nightmare. do you have any morbid interests?   gore and guts.  bones.  death itself, kinda. if someone were to ask you if you were okay right now, are you?   no.  i'm currently waiting for the suicide hotline's online chat room to open up.  i've been a wreck all evening and google searched something i shouldn't have; google gave me the number to the hotline as well as the option to chat online.  i broke the fuck down.  i've been waiting for a spot to open for like ten minutes... have you ever thrown up from working out?   no, but i know i've been close. do you have any gay family members?   i think i have an uncle who is? would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn?   fuck yes i would be. (new day.) would you date someone who still lived with their parents?   uhhh, why wouldn't i...? would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them?   nope. would you enjoy a night of playing video games?   very much so. would you watch a porno with your partner?   absolutely not. would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends?   errr... i hate admitting this, but no.  it's suspicious. coffee or tea?   i have a strong dislike of both, really. when was the last time you climbed a tree?
   never; nc doesn't really have climbable trees, just pines. what clubs do/did you participate in at school?
   i was in the art club and shit, what was it called... it was for honors students... what is something you and your best friend say/do that seems strange to an outsider?
   act gay as hecke do you like to sleep near the wall, the middle, or the open side of the bed?
   open side. what’s the strangest rumor that has ever been spread about you?
   a rumor started in high school that jason and i had had a baby.  a rachel is who told the person who told me, soooo i'm not stupid.  i know which rachel started it. how involved were you in the drama of your high school?   not at all. do you like to cuddle while you are sleeping?   all night, no.  when jason and i were dating, i would usually begin sleeping cuddled with him, but would pull away during the night because i got hot. what are you favorite places to be touched?
   i'm guessing you mean sexually?  personally my breasts are very sensitive to touch. do you like lip biting?   again, in a sexual context?  sure. describe your first date.   jason took mom and me to see "ghost rider 2."  i personally thought it was very cute that he wanted mom to come, too. what really goes on in your head?   memories, poisoned with remorse.  i'm always looking back and missing how things used to be.  death and decay goes on in my head.  passions pass away, and the darkness that i try so hard to keep in the back of mind envelops its entirety more and more each time i weaken.  i don't mean to sound all dark or poetic, it's just... how i describe things.  i wish just one person would understand exactly what's happening up there. do other people’s opinions mean anything to you?   sometimes. have you ever just wanted to run away to see who would follow?   i have run away, and nearly got the police on my ass. have you ever had a hamster as a pet?   multiple times.  all were assholes. who do you really need in your life?   jason.  yet he's not here. way down in there’s any part of you sad at all?   all parts of me are sad. what’s your favorite type of insect?   i really love butterflies, moths, dragonflies, ladybugs... is there anything worrying you right now? if so, have you talked to anyone about it?   when am i not worried...  i'm so scared jason won't come back.  the last person i talked to about it was virginia, his mom.  i was suicidal last night and was very, very sincerely contemplating killing myself, and i wanted to talk to him, because i feel like he's the only one who can talk me out of it.  so i found their number and called their house past midnight.  i talked to virginia; jason had just gone to bed, and she didn't want to wake him up.  she's such a sweet woman...  she tried so hard to help, but it was all in vain. apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight?   cry, i'm sure. does anyone see you as a role model?   i'm certain that's a no. what is something that you’ve recently learned?   it's very likely i have bpd. what is your most expensive possession?   the laptop jason gave me... but it's broken right now. what’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had?   aside from mental illness, the worst physical illness was just a REALLY bad stomach virus.  i've never even had the flu. are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day?
   if i ever get married... then yeah.  it's one of my fairytales. what kind of music do you tend to like?   heavy metal, some harder rock. do you have any mental disorders?   and they're going to kill me. do you believe everything happens for a reason?   fuck that. do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart?   yes. do you live in the moment?   i live in the past. how many more minutes until you will next eat?   i should've eaten an hour ago.  but i'm too upset to be hungry. what do/did you normally get detentions for?   i only ever got detention for too many tardies. what do you currently hear?   "i don't love you" by my chemical romance, my typing, my sniffling, and my heart pounding in my head. do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids?   i won't have kids anyway.  i don't even know why i'm spending my time doing this survey.  i'm procrastinating on looking for any sleeping pills in the house.  i'm done. do you like the band a skylit drive?   i like their cover of "love the way you lie" who’s someone you want to see right now?   jason.  he could stop this.  i know he could. have you ever been stung by anything?   no, i haven't. have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren’t supposed to?   no, i fucking hate people who do that. are you paranoid?   only always. (next week) are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments?   nope. would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? which one seems best?   hmmm.  teleport, i guess. do you like soda pop? if so, which is your favorite and least favorite?   i sadly do.  i loooove mountain dew, and i really hate pepsi. does it annoy you when surveys ask questions about controversial topics, or do you like arguing your point?   i like controversial questions, honestly.  i like making a point. are there any specific piercings you would never, ever get done?   the only piercing i would never get, even for a ludicrous amount of money, is around my private area.  nope. assuming you had sufficient funds, would you be capable of living alone, paying bills and looking after yourself properly?   honestly, no.  probably not. do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby?   meeee! were either of your parents baptized?   idk the last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit?   ha ha omg, a mosh pit at an alice cooper concert in north carolina... that'd be a sight to see. does your bathroom have a theme to it?   nope. when you are eating fast food, do you tend to get burgers or chicken?   burgers, almost always. are you self-conscious of your smile?   yes, because my eyes squint. what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?   writing.  sometimes drawing. what color do you really want to dye your hair?   GRAY.  mom won't let me. :( sunrise or sunset?   sunset is prettier, imo. what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?   i love some of the petnames colleen calls me, honestly.  it's just sweet. what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.   socks suck.  period.  i avoid them at all costs. have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?   how flexible you think i am, fam? do you play the wii?   very rarely. be honest, did fifty shades of grey arouse you in any way?   i didn't read/watch it, and i have no plans to. do have faith in yourself?   lmao did you parents know what gender you were before you were born?   i'm not sure, actually.  i do know, however, everyone first thought i was a boy; i always had my legs crossed in the ultrasound.  mom, however, "knew" i was a girl. does your mother still take care of you if you get ill?   not really.  like i guess if i called her to get me some ginger ale or something, she'd do it, but i kinda just take care of myself. is there a certain topic that you struggle to talk about, because it makes you feel uncomfortable?   not really. if you’re not in college, why?   because i mentally cannot handle the stress it causes. do you try to avoid burping in public, or are you open about it?  after all, it is a normal bodily function.   i'm very discreet about it normally, just because of social standards.  around family and very close friends, i don't give a shit. do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]?   i like the fruity flavors. what do you think is the dumbest / tackiest piercing?   i don't really know. have you ever requested a song on the radio?   no. would you ever dye your hair black?   i have before and i loved it. when did you last see the person you love/like? when will you next see them?   i saw him yesterday... and i probably never will again... is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind atm? do you think that person will be thinking about you too?   he always is, and i can absolutely guarantee he's not thinking about me. do you know the star sign of the last person you kissed?   he's an aquarius, like me. what’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done, and you got away with it?   got sexual on my parents' bed, i guess. who was the last person of the opposite sex to make you smile? are you attracted to that person?   jason, and yeah... do you currently have any medicine in your bag / purse / etc? if so, what kind?   no, i'm not allowed to.  i overdosed the other day. what do you like on your pasta / noodles? sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.?   sauce, always. are you weary of displaying signs of affection for your significant other around adults? why or why not?   no, because love should be very openly celebrated. do you think teenagers can be in love?   absolutely.  i was and still am now from the same relationship as an adult. how fast does your mood change?   0-100 real quick, boo. at this moment in time if you HAD to have someone’s name tattooed on you who’s would it be?   uhhh... literally no one's.  i just wouldn't.  well uh, i guess if it was life or death, uhhh... probably jason's, honestly??  but realistically, i never would get anyone's?? what’s your all-time favorite COMEDY movie?   hm.  maybe "white chicks" or "rush hour 2" how old is your most recent ex?   he's 23. how many keys are on your key chain?   two how does your hair look right now?   it's all big and suuuuper curly!!!  chelsea did it. :D does your house have a white picket fence?   nope. do you wear bracelets?   no, never. when was the last time you had sex?   never. #regret do you have a wild side?   only j's seen it, honestly... heh. what is your favorite thing about going to your grandma’s house?   literally.  nothing. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with?   chelsea.  good day. where do you plan on living within the next few years?   probably the same 'ole north carolina. do you have an addiction?   debatably the internet, but i honestly consider it more of a dependence. if you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?   2016, absolutely. do you believe you should change who you are for the person you love?   to a degree, sure. when you’re home alone, do you still keep the door closed when you shower?   the bathroom door is open, my room door is closed. do you currently have a hickey?   i wish ha ha. now your cell phone, what color is it?   black. how many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed?   plenty of times. what color is your hair?   ruby red, with redder highlights and brown roots coming in. your parents are divorced/married/separated?   divorced have you ever let someone be your everything?   and i'm a broken person because of it. do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like?   no.  he made it clear i deserve to suffer for giving up. have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?   ahhh, yes. (: have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed?   no. do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth?   inside.  feel safer/cozier. have you ever had sex or something like it?   something like it, sure, but not actual sex. have you ever worn fishnets?   i don't think so... but maybe for dance? do you always wear your seat belt?   yep. have you ever liked someone much older than you?   not seriously. are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family?   oh god.  heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, asthma, cancer, depression, bipolarity, more shit i'm forgetting... do you have asthma?   no. are tongue piercings slutty?   ... no? last person to take off your pants, besides you?   jason. when you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy?   yep. what’s your second favorite color?   pink, probably. how many times have you been so drunk you didn’t remember the night before?   never. what sexual kinks do you personally enjoy, if any?   i actually had to look up some kinks bc idk if some things are considered kinks or not?  evidently even something as common as spanking is, and i'm into that very mildly.  anr (i think that's be abbreviation, probably wrong...) is something that's like guaranteed to turn me on.  i also like feeling/acting sexually submissive in general, but i deeefinitely wouldn't consider it to the point of the dom/sub kink. ever faked an orgasm?   no. own some type of work out machine?   not anymore. ever wanted to be a vet?   i did as a child, yes. ever flashed someone you liked?   i maybe have to jason, while alone with him, but even then i'm not certain i ever have. ever had a job? if so, what and for how long?   first job i had for a month or two.  second, like, four days. do you have a favorite sexual position, even if you’re a virgin?   missionary is all i've ever tried and i'm fine with that. ever done oral? with how many people?   yes, one. what condom brand do you use?   i don't use them because i don't have sex.  on the one occasion jason bought condoms just to be safe in case we chose to, i'm not sure what brand he got... do you use flavored/scented/glow-in-the-dark/neon/ribbed condoms?   again, i don't use them, but also once more, on the one occasion jason bought some, they were just normal. what about facebook - do your grandparents use facebook?   my maternal grandmother does. do you have any text messages from your ex, or have you deleted them all?   no.  the phone i've had i got after the breakup, so. tell me 3 facts about the first person you had a relationship with.   i've "dated" three people, but i've definitely only had a romantic relationship with one, so i'm using him in this question.  he loves games of all kinds, he's a huge joker (particularly heath ledger's) fan, and he's studying computer engineering/he's in his last semester. think about your last ex. do you still find him/her attractive?   he's very handsome, yes. do you regret kissing the last person you kissed?   i never will. have you ever wanted to be a teacher?   nope. if someone were to ask you out right now, would you say yes?   the only person i'd say yes to would be jason. what was the last thing you took medication for?   my tremors. if someone offered you sex right now, how would you respond?   again, i'd only yes to jason. do you think you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?   i don't think i found the person, i know i did.  yet i can't. be honest, what do you want more than anything at this moment in time?   i just want to cuddle with jason. have you had any conversations recently that made you feel uncomfortable or upset?   i talked to jason, face-to-face, two days ago to assist me in gaining closure.  very long story short, i was quiiite upset after he left. what’s the farthest away from home you have ever been?   michigan the last person you had a thing with calls wanting to hang out. what do you do?   say "of course!" in probably the most excited voice ever. what is your favorite shade of blue?   hmm.  navy, i assume. what ozzy lyric describes you best?   a suRVEY QUESTION REGARDING MY FAVORITE ARTIST???  HELL YEAH!!  anyway, i've felt a resonance with "you don't have to leave the lights on; i'm so used to being blind" from "tomorrow" for many years. what was the most important decision you made that screwed up your life the most?   giving up on just that: life. what is love really about?   it's science, but also something inexplicable.  it's the perfect combination of your brain's "happy hormones," and only that one person can achieve that certain mixture.  granted, there are different kinds of love, and each one is unique. what metallica lyric most describes your life?   wHO FUCKING WROTE THIS, ANOTHER QUESTION W/ ANOTHER FAVORITE ARTIST???  I WANNA MARRY THE SURVEY MAKER PLS.  um anyway let's see, i could really list a few.  first, i wanna say i feel a VERY strong connection to "the unforgiven ii" as a whole; all the lyrics mean very much to me.  but if you want a particular lyric, these couple mean the world: "how can i be lost, if i've got nowhere to go? / and how can i blame you, when it's me i can't forgive?" from "the unforgiven iii"  omgggg i could keep going on ;-; ever been to ozzfest?   girl, I WISH. what's the most illegal thing you've done?   just downloading music.  wait actually, probably downloading an expensive program illegally. ever have a tornado in your town?   i don't think so. what percentile of your class were you in?   idk about numbers, but the very top.  i got an award for it.  idk what ever happened... can you name every place you've ever had sex?   i've never had sex, but i've gotten sexual on my bed, his bed, the floor, the couch, the chaise... what forms of birth control have you used?   abstinence is... pretty flawless. handcuffs or rope :D?   errr, i'm guessing you're addressing being tied up sexually?  i'm... kinda into the idea of being handcuffed to something, maybe. *shrugs* ever grown any plants before? what were they?   habaneros, zinnias, sunflowers... how many times did you intentionally start to commit suicide?   three.  i was going to slit my throat on two occasions, and on the last, i overdosed. what is your favorite cover song?   "hurt" by johnny cash.  "another brick in the wall" by korn is a close second. ever raise a child that wasn't your own for more than 3 months?   nope. strangest medical procedure ever performed on you?   idk, i guess just getting tubes put in my ears. if you ever got a tattoo, where would you get it?   i already have three and want loads more like... everywhere.  most specifically though, i think sternum tattoos are drop-dead gorgeous. could you ever go vegetarian?   no.  i enjoy meat too much. how do you fall asleep? [i.e, listening to music, reading, daydreaming…]   just thinking... have you ever been chased by bees?   omg no. what is your opinion on homosexuality?   it's a mutation, but that does not make it wrong. what is your biggest fear in life?   being alone in life.  not being able to function properly in the "real world" is a close second. when was the last time you kissed someone?   2015 are you sick quite often or hardly at all?   hardly at all.  proud of that 'ole immune system. has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality?   apparently. do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more?   chocolate, definitely. does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much?   no, but i actually have noticed something: it began to bother me ever so slightly more after jason passed out from me getting my blood taken that one time.  i think it's because of how i look up to and see him in general, seeing him react to something like that, a part of my brain wants to believe "omg that has to be dangerous then."  but in general, i don't really have issue with getting my blood drawn. who would you say is your best friend at the moment?   colleen.  always. how long have you two been best friends?   over two years. do you sometimes think you aren’t as fortunate as others?   it's not something i dwell on, but i know i'm not. have you ever tried opening your eyes under water?   i have, and i'm bad at it. have you ever been admitted to the hospital?   only six times. what would you say is your favorite type of flower?   tiger lilies, i think. how old is your pet?   teddy is ten, cali isss... three, i think, bentley's not even a year, and lexi is around two, probs. do you listen to artists who consist more of guys, girls, or both?   i seem to prefer male artists. what’s your first tattoo?   a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. what song do you listen to when you’re sad?   "perfectly flawed" by otep is common.  hence my tattoo. <3 is there a person in your life that can always make you smile?   not anymore. are you scared about the end of the world?   not really, because i don't think i'll be around to see it. will you ever get a tattoo?   i have three and want more.  my next tattoo will be an adaptation of "denialism" by deviantart's tatchit.  look it up, it is honestly a phenomenal work of art. when you get yelled at, do you yell back or let it go?   well first, i get triggered.  yelling triggers memories of my parents fighting so much.  odds are, i'll yell back, but it really depends. do you share a computer with your siblings?   nooo. do you have mood swings?   badly. do you have any bruises on you?   yes, from getting my blood drawn so much recently.  the iv left a good one. have you had sex today?   girl, i wish. has the last person you kissed ever made you cry?   plenty of times. be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions?   some yes, some no.  it just.  varies.  for the most part, i guess so, like i can't deny i'm a fighter, but i just feel weak sometimes. if you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?   honestly, i would get a tiny heart on the side of my face if it wasn't for societal standards and the strong odds of unemployment for having a tat on my face. what is something you find romantic?   flowers, picnics, walks in the park, oh man, i could go on for HOURS.  you can make SO many things romantic. what makes you attracted to the person you like right now?   his personality. what, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?   rape is #1 for me.  just don't. would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship?   castle, hell yeah!! has someone ever made you a build-a-bear?   OMG NO I WOULD DIE THAT'D BE PRECIOUS what are your initials?   bmd, or bmcd if you want my catholic name. what is your definition of “having sex”?   penal-vaginal penetration. who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)?   jason. do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal?   they should absolutely not be legal.  just... no.  i don't support big age gaps like that. what do you think of open relationships? if your partner suggested it, what would you say?   HA.  no.  and if he suggested it, i'd leave his ass. would you ever date out of your race?   mhmm. have you ever had a reptile for a pet?   i've had one lizard, two snakes. what kinds of alcohol do you like?   only ever tried mike's hard lemonade and smirnoff, and both are fine. did you have a swing set when you were a kid?   yup. state you most want to visit?   utah.  fucking gorgeous. were you popular in high school?   definitely not. would you rather be blind or deaf?   blind, definitely.  i once asked jason this and he said blind, too, "because i have to be able to hear your voice." ;;;-;;; where do you want to live when you are old?   in the mountains, in the woods, in the chilly weather, pls. have you ever been in love?   absolutely.  with reckless abandon. have you ever caught a fish?   many many times. what was your most recent ex’s middle name?   alex. do you put anything weird on your scrambled eggs? (like syrup)   just hot sauce. what is your states minimum wage?   $7.25, save us.

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