#idk man i just have a lot of feelings

[dontforgetoctober3rd]

i think we need to get together and figure out how to stop time so Tobias Forge remains 42 forever

#its unhinged tobias forge thought hours #tobias forge #tw flashing #don't mind me just being normal about my favorite guy #listen idk how to say this but if anything happened to him i would be DISTRAUGHT #I legit don't think I would be able to handle it #yes i know he's a rando from sweden who i don't know from adam #but his work has helped me so much #idk man i just have a lot of feelings

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[rbtlvr]

(text from this post, fic is little kid with a big death wish by @remedyturtles)

i'm genuinely not sure where to start here - ig first of all this fic is absolutely incredible and if you somehow haven't read it yet you absolutely should!

okay. man. rem, this fic means so so much to me and i'm so glad i got to be here for it. i think this is one of those fics that'll stick with me years down the line even if one day i'm not into tmnt anymore, one i'll come back to over and over again

your writing has touched so so many people myself very much included, and i just. want to thank you so much for writing this fic and thank you for sharing it. you're an amazing writer and an amazing person and i'm lucky to know you. i can't wait to see what you do next

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #little kid with a big death wish #my art #forgor all my tags its ok ill come back later <3 anyway #god theres legit so so so much more i wanted to say but i cant get. the words right augh #i kinda tried to put some of it in the comic though so. yeah. the emotions anyway #idk idk i just have a Lot of feelings abt this fic and how real it feels and just . man. it hits so so hard /pos #just... the fact that dw leo has been through everything he has and is capable of recovery and living. even if he doesnt want to live just #yet. hes getting there. makes me feel like i can too as cheesy as that sounds lajfd;lajlfkl #anyway ive rambled enough i spent ten (10) full days on this comic i am setting it loose into the world. be free #suicide attempt cw #dissociation cw #<- just to be safe. ask to tag if theres anything else lafj;dljsafkl

[holyjagerman]

so you’re telling me that grace chasity put together a plan originally to harm the reputation of max jagerman but instead max was so brave he fought off the “ghost” and “skele’on” and really enjoyed this plan. that it was the nicest thing anyones ever done for him. grace chasity unintentionally gave max jagerman the nicest gift ever and you’re gonna look at me and tell me they’re not soulmates?

#max jagerman #grace chasity #whats their ship name #holy ghost? #dirty soup? #chaserman? #idk man #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #npmd #i just have a lot of feelings about grace chasity #i just have a lot to say about max jagerman

[wasyago]

uhh umm uhm random stuff

#jrwi riptide #my art #sketch #ships are so hard to draw. like. that's supposed to be a brigantine but its twice the size i wanted it to be and its sad. #i guess they can have a bigger boat 🙄... #they just keep fighting and running around on their ship and it feels like there's a lot of room for activities there when there really isn #idk man #i wanted to say that i need to draw more ships but i really dont. ships suck and drawing them is 90% pain and 9% holy shit i did something #and a secret third thing..... #AND NOW that I've said it i feel the sudden urge to draw more ships. ship combat. a giant port as a background. more scenes on a ship... #fuck my life bro #also. found out in the middle of writing the ids that i misspelled both the words millennium and albatross. bruh

[bambiraptorx]

given that Draxum had an entire gigantic room full of weapons in canon, i lowkey feel like he would at least own a sword cane

#bambi's rambling #rottmnt #rottmnt baron draxum #of course using it is a different story because they're pretty impractical but like #when do we ever see this man fight with weapons #almost never. and yet his house has an entire room of them #(i know his house kinda blew up in canon but shhhhh i'm ignoring that lol) #i think its safe to guess that he just collects them #or maybe he gets a lot of weapons as gifts for some reason idk #but yeah even if he never uses it i feel like he would have a sword cane lying around somewhere

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type #and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist #anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance #even tho wyll is right there yall #but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!! #i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it #also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao #more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character #like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog #and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no #i just think it's neat #is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh #pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like #i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride #but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense #except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/ #Astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material #case in point: me lmfao #OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫 #but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude #anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended #who feels “truly free” #and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol #but i digress

[ropebuny]

I want a dad so bad I’m going to cry and throw a tantrum. I don’t want to be an adult, I want to stop thinking and be taken care of like a kid & feel safe and cared for again

#been really needing and craving the attention of a strong and caring man a lot more than usual lately #I think it’s because I’ve been so stressed because of school and exams this past week #idk I’m just feeling so. lonely and sad and #I really miss having a father figure in my life #and it’s been so hard lately I just keep distancing myself from everyone because I’m overloaded with work #and idk. I just want to lay down in someone’s arms and feel okay again

[seaofgoldensand]

thinking of rafayel who does the most he can to win MC, all his efforts, all his time (missed art exhibitions, unfinished paints) but all of that gradually dwindles as time passes. he's watching MC fall for someone else in real time (bonus points if MC just never felt the same way at all). then there's some nights where he's staring out in the ocean and when he thinks about MC a little too damn much, the symbol of their bond burns against his chest and with fire coming from his fingers through his evol, he's scratching at the symbol, leaving angry red marks on his chest where the symbol resides, taunting him. so he scratches harder, lemurian blood flowing through the wound. he does so as if getting rid of it would free him. but it's proven futile when his blood heals the wound and he's back at square one, but a little more empty each time it happens.

the thing is, he doesn't yell nor scream. he doesn't curse the ocean—if anything, he's spent, jaded—his eyes empty. then he turns his back to the ocean, like he did many times for her. returns to his studio. probably throws paint around out of sheer anger and passes it as a new piece that he'll paint throughout his rage and somehow turn it into something peaceful. a calm scenery. no one would know that under the calm vibes of the painting was rage like a storm at sea, and he's smiling that charming smile, eyes bright to others but voided to him, engaging in conversations with others at art exhibitions, or interviews scheduled the following day. like he didn't just try to scratch his damn heart out by his flames the nights before.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #man idk i just have a lot of feelings

[autism-swagger]

You ever think about how we're never going to see Jackie ever again? Like. The real Jackie, not everyone else's versions of her. Every time we see her in season two and beyond (if she even shows up after season two) it is/going to be Shauna's version of her, who is so intrinsically not Jackie. Even if she's just talked about, it's not going to be Jackie. Nobody knew or remembers her, not really. Not her own parents, not the other Yellowjackets, certainly not Shauna.

Y'know that saying about how you die twice: once when you physically die and once when you're mentioned for the last time?

You ever think about how Jackie died both deaths at the same time?

#even immediately after her death nobody remembers who she really was #something about 'she would want us to' and everyone agreeing #no she fucking WOULDN'T!! #idk man I just have a lot of feelings :( #Yellowjackets tag #og fandom post tag #yellowjackets #jackie taylor

[ctrl-lupin]

Goemon is terrifying

#i don't say that often but TWCFM managed to make him look genuinely scary #this series struck a very good balance between the legitimate danger goemon exudes and his naivety and inadequacy with the world #he seems simultaneously very old and very young #like a child that was forced into becoming a killing machine #forced to grow up too fast and at the same time never allowed to actually grow up #idk man i just have a lot of feelings about TWCFM!Goemon #goemon ishikawa #lupin iii #twcfm #The Woman Called Fujiko Mine #takeshi koike

[lost-tardis-room]

tenth doctor being aroace is so important to me and i don't even know why. i love rose tyler so so much but i don't think the right end to her arc was 'kissing tentwo to show people they love each other' like YES THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. did rose want to kiss him, yeah sure i just don't think she wanted to be romantically involved with him yknow?? he'll love rose forever but that doesn't need to be romantic. like yes ten *gets kissed* a fair bit but idk. i just think he's aroace. and that's part of why i think he is so sad about river in the library episodes because he knows it's not *him* that she loves. that's why it's important that martha left him to be with her family and get married because she fancied him but she knew he 'didn't look at her' because he just... couldn't feel that. that's why it's so so so important about donna. that they both knew they were best friends. the ending of the giggle made me so so happy because he's living with donna because he loves her because they're friends. he didn't need to be *with* her to be part of her family or to love her completely.

#idk is this anything #i've only been into dr who for a little bit idk how popular this take is #cos i keep seeing a lot of content for rose esp that is *just shipping* and idk i'm just not seeing it #the s3 bit where he is human for a bit & falls in love with the matron joan and the flashes fo the future he *could* have with her? #yes i cried at that i fully sobbed #'what kind of man doesn't think falling in love will be an problem?' SOMEONE WHOSE AROACE IDK #ahhhh i don't know why i feel so strongly about this rn but anyways #dr who #doctor who #tenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #idk maybe if i watch it all again i'll see something else #aroace #<3

[daftpatience]

man rodeoh hasnt added my not so good review and now im starting to wonder if theres some suspicious reason they dont have any reviews under 4 stars

#its an underwear brand i tried out awhile ago #they felt really cheap and thin and unstretchy when they arrived and within a year completely fell apart at the seams #like i ripped the waistband right off from just putting them on. #the croctches wore right out to nothing and im not even active! i hardly do anything! #and like maybe a year is too much to ask for clothing nowadays but idk i feel like they should last longer than that #i cant afford to replace all my underwear every year #also for tboy oriented underwear i was sorely disappointed that they didnt have pad functionality #idk man #rodeoh #maybe they just arent made for big fat guys idk #the inseam was awkwardly proportioned so it crumpled a lot under my belly but wasnt long enough to go over it #i tried to record a video of how easy it was to pull em apart but it just made me look really strong and also like the start of an OF #i need some validation that im not the only one that experienced this iim dying squirtle

[fantasykiri5]

Fabian and Riz to me are like. They’re like the definition of “a secret third thing” to me but not like in a qpr way. Their thing is just Their Thing, like they’re inseparable they drive each other fucking bonkers they care so deeply and they’re stupid teenagers and I don’t think they would even really think about it at all. I don’t think either of them can imagine a world where they’re not at least around the other, and like whatever their thing is definitely isn’t allo but it’s definitely not regular besties shit. They just like being around each other, I don’t think either of them would really even think to put a name to whatever it is they’ve got going on, and I definitely don’t think either of them would ever put enough thought into it to even figure out what a qpr is, much less label themselves in one. They’re just Fabian and Riz. The Ball and Captain of the Owlbears. They’re just them I think. Idk man.

#kiri rambles #idk dude it’s a hard thought to verbalize I think #as someone who is more recently realizing that I’m PROBABLY at least some manner of arospec and probably also acespec but also in a very- #-happy romantic relationship of nearly two years with my best friend- who’s also thinking he’s at least acespec- I just kinda relate to- #-whatever thing they have going on is #like yeah technically we’re dating but we’re also just like. hanging out mostly. idk #IDK. idk I just relate to their crazy codependent bullshit I guess #fabriz #<- sort of?? idk #like I like some of the ship stuff a lot of it is very funny and I relate to it but I also really respect the more stark aroace Riz- #-believers like I think they’re both true. yeah he IS aroace or at least aroacespec to me but also FROM EXPERIENCE whatever he and Fabian- #-have going on has NO way to be like regularly platonic #I guess this makes me a qpr Fabriz truther?? idk I don’t think they’d ever outright say it #but it’s the same flavor as a qpr I think. it’s in the same vein but neither of them will ever acknowledge it #anyways sorry for my incoherent ramblings I just Feel That Shit man #riz gukgak #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian seacaster #d20 #fantasy high #yeah that’s all the tags I’m giving it I’m tired

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah #this one just rawrrfrrr #and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’ #nice #im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it #god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like #hnnnghhh #hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot #the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM #sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’ #like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke #but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me #and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards #the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome #the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear #its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe #but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill #and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill #you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit #and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it #and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was #very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me #which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me #yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍

[stiffyck]

Trans hermits. You agree.

#i post abojt trans hermits a lot but shhhhh #listen im thinking about each of them figuring themselves out #some find out theyre comfortable as they are but just dont like certain lamguage used for them #some of them take a long time trying to figure everything out because everything seems to fit #some have issues figuring out how they feel about their gender and stuff #i think theres just a lot of potential with trans hermits #they all have different levels of dysphoria. some have none at all some have a lot #some wanna transition some dont #theres some hermits who like multiple pronouns. some hermits who just like one set of pronohns. theres hermits that dont care. #idk im ggoijg in circles but you get what i meannnn #im so starved for any trans rep that's not just a sad trans boi or whatever #i wanna see more trans people man i just wanna see trans people being happy and just living rheir lives #stiff talk #hermit posting #<new possible tag?