#idk what to do abt it bcs there is. no way ill be able to just stop talking to her | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beetrootsoupdragon · 6 months

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hmmm.

#vent in tags #turns out my only friend is actually really ableist and queerphobic #like i guess i should have realised that when she called me a slur #but i just excused it #like i excused her being really mean to me #like theres a line between playful joking and trying to insult the other person #and she made a joke abt me being autistic (bad joke to make) so i told her i actually was autistic and she was weird around me the rest of #the day but then near the end she started beingreally rude to me #including saying something like “i have too small of a mental capasity to be a good friend” or something #and like #shes never said anything like this until i told her i was autistic #plus she has always been weird abt me not using excact labels and just referring to my gender and sexuality in general terms #and she was really really weird abt me being trans #and she was so weird when she found out abt my sh #and i actually hate being around her #she makes me feel so bad abt myself wtff #i put up with it bcs i have no other friends #we're not a good friendship bcs she wants so much more from me than i can give and she refuses to give anything back #idk what to do abt it bcs there is. no way ill be able to just stop talking to her #shes really good at forcing me to spend time with her #idk shes actually really manipulative

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palms-upturned · 1 year

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#meg talks #suicide tw #nearly everyone i care abt rn is like so very suicidal rn and it’s making me. ghghfh #(IMPORTANT NOTE this is not me saying ‘’don’t talk to me abt suicide rn’’ i do not ever mind talking abt it ever ever #i am not ranting rn about not being able to handle the subject or complaining abt ppl talking to me abt it that’s not what this is i prommy)#im just. the realization that there are ppl who go their whole lives without ever thinking that much abt suicide #and then there’s those of who are disabled and/or queer and for us it’s just. a constant #for ourselves for our loved ones for ppl on the periphery of our circles like everyone we brush shoulders with #the amount of time we have to spend talking ourselves and others into just staying a while longer #bc it’s so fucking hard to conceptualize a future for ourselves for so many reasons #and even harder to make that future viable bc it depends on other people helping us #it just makes me want to fucking. idk! break something!#like how do you make people understand this if they’ve never been through it #and how do you convince them that it’s worth it to try and understand where we’re coming from #when their default way of thinking abt it is that you only get to this point if u do smth wrong or just don’t try hard enough #or are some kind of moocher trying to exploit ppl who ‘’work harder’’#i fucking hate this so much #i just keep thinking about engels’ explanation of social murder #and getting so angry i feel fucking ill #people are fucking killing my friends and it’s like all i can do is like…#try my best to plug whatever wounds i can manage meanwhile the killer is still fucking stabbing them over and over #anyway. god. again none of this is to say i don’t wanna hear abt suicide or anything #i like to know and be able to talk abt it frankly #especially if there’s even the smallest thing i can do to help #im just like. suddenly hit w the disbelief of how many ppl go their whole lives without having these conversations #while me and my friends are having them multiple times a day bc it’s so fucking bad out here #insert disco elysium quote about the mask of humanity falling from capital as it kills your sweet courageous friends here i guess.#i just. wish things were better. how can people not wish that

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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months

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#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

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silenthillbunni · 8 months

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#ok im not gonna let myself complain abt it too much. even if complaining is very cathartic to me. like its just part of the process #anyway im gonna try to not do that....#but yeah i hate being ill and in pain. it's like a veil is pulled over myeyes and the entire world gets so dark and scary #idk how to explain i just feel so alone and so anxious and so unhappy #my experience with healthcare is sadly that treatment never helps and nothing gets better #so that's why i always get kinda depressed when something like this happens #the doctor suspects it is gallstones. and i got those rectal pills skskks that i'll try for the pain #then i just need to wait to get an ultra sound scan so they can check for gallstones. then i dont know #i was too stressed to ask her abt diet and such but im reading online and im like?? idk what im supposed to eat #that pain is just fkn awful and im so scared of triggering it #esp bc i dont fkn know how to put a pill up my ass that stresses me out even more #if i had an ordinary life i.e a job and friends and such it's easier to handle these things. but when u feel vulnerable nd scared it makes #it sm worse.....#and im so fkn stressed abt school now!!!! how am i supposed to sit and class when im in pain???? and barely sleeping #yeah idk. i need to find a way to get thru this ksksks :(((((#maybe im over dramatic or smth. i prob am. but i cant describe it im just in sm pain and im scared and confused and stressed af #i also have no idea how long this will last or if i can start eating normally and when i can start going for my walks again #like will this not pass until they remove the potential gallstone or what??#i hate this pain sm it hurts so bad i dont know how long i'll be able to endure it #im also getting closer to a depression so.. idk im just not ok rn ksks

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nomaishuttle · 1 year

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im soooo excited for the move truly... faggot moment aside im excited t go to th library and stuff. AND to meet my roommates irl :DD and to decorate the house bc weve all been sending furniture and stuff in the gc and it makes me saurr excited...

#im rly rly rly. ik this is my me tendency to be like..Oh ill start doing x thing after y event ^-^#but. this time im rly srs once i move i want to start reading again i want to go outside more i want to talk to ppl outside of hal and my #family.. and i want to be on tumblr.less.MDNFJFNFJFNFN #ive also been thinking abt getting a umm..portable cd player like i had when i ws little.. n then i cn borrow audio books from th library #and listen to them on walks or at work etc :]]#idk where ill be working just yet.. i have enough money t give me a bit of wiggle room b4 i find a job #but ill be getting a job asap..#im super excited :] bc th pay is so good up there and also bc our place is so cheap AND were splitting it 4 ways... were gonna have enough #money to rly actually decorate the place and make it look nice and :DDD #n i cn donate more often i havent gotten to donate to anybody in a whilee ... i rly wanna start doing more umm. whats th word not charity #work.. just like helping out around th community n stuff... i think thatd be ely awesome #i wont be making enough to do Much but i should be able to afford like #stuff t help out .. coats n food n stuff yk..#thatll prolly be after we get th like. necessities of th house obviously. but once i cn afford kt id rly love 2 help out ^-^#fslur #ALMOST MISSED IT.. SRY

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be-good-to-bugs · 6 days

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AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day

#the bin #i hate knowing why i feel so bad and not being able to do anything about it #im scared that ill never ever feel better. its been so long since i felt ok. im worried that ill make friends and still feel horrible all #the time and it wont matter. i cant keep doing this. im so tired of being all alone. im so tired of the constant inescapable dread #im going to figure something out. in a month ill be moved and i can start figuring everything out then #i hate not being able to focus on anything besides how bad i feel. i cant enjoy anything. theres so many shows i wanna watch but i cant #because im so distracted by this. theres so much manga i wanna read and i cant.#literally the ONLY thing that has been able to make me temporarily forget this for any amount of time is dungeon meshi #its so fucking good and it sparks so much joy that it does help but not enough. i get sad again really fast.#well. im trying really hard to manage my stress. i did the math on how much i should be getting. i know that i will have rent at least.#there are 2 weeks that i dont know what my hours will be but assuming i get 13 hours at least then i should have an ok amount for #moving. its possible theyll be worse and its possible theyll be better. im really hoping theyre better. my hours have been SO BAD recently #i dont know why. i know im not bad at my job or anything. i sont think my manager dislikes me either. he does this whenever someone #hasnt been feeling well and hell do it for a couple weeks and i think its him trying to be considerate but i have bills to pay man #technically there is a shift i could pickup but the store has a drive thru so im nervous to bc idk how that works and if im asked to do that #then ill have no idea so ive been avoiding taking any shifts like that #hopefully enough will pop up in the coming weeks and i can get some more hours. i know i can cover moving vehicle cost but idk how much #gas is gonna be so im suuuuper worried abt that. hhhh. hopefully my sister and her boyfriend can get me back the $300 they owe too #honestly idk how they werent able to afford rent but immediately after they were able to afford a 40 hour roadtrip and yimw off work #whatever. it doenst matter.#i wish i could deal with the other stuff messing me up rn but i cant fix the loneliness thing without not being alone and i cant fix that #it doesnt matter how much i tell myself ill make friends eventually or if i believe it or not. i feel bad because ive gone way too long #not hanging out with anyone and my brain cant handle it.#im gonna see if maybe i can play a game with my sister soon. or maybe i couod play smth with my younger sister even #i pkayed roblox with her for a little while. maybe she would want to again. i miss her :(

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silverislander · 2 months

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we've had three snowstorms in the past week so we're essentially snowed in rn and i'm starting to lose my mind abt it a little

#doesnt help that i havent been able to get out in a while to begin with bc ive been busy w school #or that bc of the way schedules have worked out i havent been home alone for over a week now (which helps me relax)#and it def doesnt help that valentines was last week bc that always fucks w my mental health ngl #i know i need to get out of the house Soon but like. idk when ill be able to #levi.txt #theres also the issue of driving. the snow is piled up way above the cars so its really hard to see around turns #which makes my parents nervous so they dont want to let me drive #which means i have to either ask my friends for rides (anxiety inducing) or ask my parents to go w them (doesnt help my anxiety at all)#the whole POINT is being mostly alone when i do these things and being able to do it /on my own time/. my parents dont allow that #if i go out w my mom she wants to go do the thing were 'there for' (there Has to be a purpose for the trip) and IMMEDIATELY leave #if i go w dad hes better for it but hell get tired and make jokes abt not wanting to be there the whole time #im supposed to be getting out once a week to learn to cope w my anxiety and im lucky if i make it once a month anymore #i want to go to the mall i want to go to the thrift store i want to go to the bookstore and the craft store and just fucking Go Out #not even to buy anything just to see smth different idk #just like. SOMETHING other than home -> school -> home again where nothing ever changes #and my parents suggestion to fix this is 'why dont you go for a walk'#theres One trail nearby. weve lived here my entire life. it never fucking changes. im bored out of my fucking mind #what is there even to see? more snow? the exact same trees there are anywhere else? crows and gulls MAYBE?#also im just not a big outside person esp when its cold. sue me

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caruliaa · 4 months

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this playlist is too horny not enough xtian guilt or murder. sad .

#i dont need to specifcy what this is about or maybe i do. i love miss holloway but i kinda regret not having either the grace #or the lautski theme for my blog #but anyway yeah post abt grace playlist yeah obvs whatever #the problem is okay. i cant listen to other ppls grace playlist normally bc im like. i have to prepare myself to listen to new music #its a whole thing with me its the autism you have to introduce me and the a new song slowly like two cats #so icant like. just go listen to someone elses grace chasity playlist but i do sometimes like. listen to some songs from the ones ican find #on spotify like if i see a song on multiple playlists or its title sticks out to me ill check it out #and i wasnt able to find ONE SONG okay not true was able to find one song but i wasnt able to find two songs tht actually fit grace #there where plenty i liked as songs but just. none of them fit grace to me ansd its like. actually wild #like i feel mean saying it but why r none of u character understanders....... i need to grace post more so ppl understand herr #iv been kinda working on smth i kinda gave up on but need to finish . but events thts like. more for sillies than majorly understanding #her character idk. what if im just narrowly missing all the sogns tht actually fit her character on these playlsits in an incredibly comica #way. seems like msth tht wld happen to me .#flappy rambles

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snekdood · 5 months

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i just feel like if you cant debate someone w/o insulting them then you're kinda just using it as an outlet for all of your asshole-ness

#you shouldnt have assholeness inside you anyways but. if you do you probably grew up thinking its just like. socially normal #instead of idk. trying to get along?? theres no reason you gotta insult ppl esp for things they cant change #it also makes you look lazy in the way u argue #yes yes ik i call ppl dipshits a lot but to me its more of a 'im worried about u/ur wellbeing/ppl around u for u not knowing better'#rather than a:#'hah u idiot loser ur so dumb and im so so much smarter and cooler and faster than you heh' kinda thing that some ppl do 😒😒😒#ig that can be a bit patronizing but id prefer that over someone whos just an immature full-of-themselves asshole tbh #not tryna say its ok bc ppl dont necessarily know i mean it in that way when i say it but yeah. i dont think im the worst about this ill sa #that much and thats not the reason im posting about it. a looooooot of yall on here are waaaaaaaaay worse about it lmao.#i think we should all try to stop doing it. and that doesnt mean me trying harder than yall if anything yall need to try harder than me #oh and uh me telling you What It Is isnt the same as me insulting you. btw. at worst its patronizing when you Do know better #but otherwise im literally just trying to be helpful. even if it is snappy and said pettily sometimes 💁#at least i can rest easy knowing i tried being helpful rather than feeling like a self-proclaimed 'morally superior' egotistical jackass #💁💁💁💁💁#i dont know better! i know what i know and i work off of what i know and help people from where i come from and my own experience #i dont claim to know everything i dont stand on this rock claiming to conquer all that is to be known about it like some of yall do #i dont get on my high horse trying to preach to people abt How They Should Be Or Else They're Irredeemable (And Also I'm Perfect btw)#and if i ever do its for the least serious thing possible and im probably fuckin joking #and ig rn i am kinda doing a 'i do this better than you' thing but again its a #'i do this better than you. you should be able to do it as well as i do too or better. challenge urself to be better' thing rather #than 'haha look at me im so much smarter than you and better than you and more deserving! everybody praise me!!!' thing

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cryptidapprentice · 7 months

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man,,,

#marine myths rambles #in the tags #dating app diary #i feel so bad bc now that i AM getting matches on these freakin apps i have to Talk and Make Conversation and ideally Meet Up and its like..#suddenly i am Not In The Mood actually. to talk OR hang out. n i feel BAD bc these seem like nice ppl!!! who id love to at least befriend!!!#(i have bumble n im not listed as looking for anything particular so friendship is in fact an option)#or maybe even smthn more!!! but like. idk why suddenly as soon as i get a match its like '...oh. hmm. idk if i wanna talk actually' 😭😭#like if i had to guess id say its my gd OCD avoidance response thats making me not wanna do the Hard Thing (Talking) but its also like...#...do i rly wanna meet My Person this way?? CAN i rly meet my person this way???? like so much of my whole desire to date someone is like-#-getting along suuuuper well as friends n being able to click personality n humorwise n shit n THEN im like 'oh id love to date this person-#this person'* im not retyping all tht lol #but being on an app kinda takes tht away for me?? ig im just not made for like. online/internet dating :V #bc i think that Click has to be like. In Person for me to reach that point yk?? like i could click w ppl online n be friends fine!! but like #if we meet in person and that irl interaction isnt like the online interactions (which its usually Not just bc of the nature of Online..)#and we dont Click the same way... its like... man... i dont think we can be romantic partners WHICH I FEEL BAD ABT bc its like.#i dont wanna lead anyone on... so it sucks if we click online but i dont feel that same Click in person 🥲🥲#idk maybe im just not emotionally ready to date?????? ugh ig ~24yrs of being single'll do tht to a person 🥲🥲#feel free to dm me w like. advice or smthn if u read all this n have smthn to say 🤷🏽‍♀️ i cant guarantee ill respond (bc im shy 🥴)#BUT ill def read n consider ur words i prommie (also sometimes i dont respond bc idk what to say 😖 but im not ignoring i see u n i hear u)#(not in a creepy literal way. in a figurative way.)

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whomturgled · 11 months

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yrkeby4ur8

#hi its personal post as tho tumblr is my diary in the tags while still being vague time bc my coping strats are failing me a little and #ig being able to essentially shout into the void is kinda nice like i cld physically write things down but i did a lot of that #already today w sssitnments and my fjfknging joints hurt so here we are!#ig theres also comfort in knowing someone somewhere probably read it. regardless of what they think/feel/the impression it gives them bc.#like. i exist! i guess? idk.#anyway that being said tw for talk of sh and upsettio spaghettio n stuff.#but yeah im like 🤏 close to relapsing with cutting or some sort of. idek.#and the only reasons im resisting are like. its been so long and itd be a shame to break that streak #which funnily enohgh mskes another part of me wana do it MoRE to like. idk. remember. and. punish ?? idk.#but we're ignoring him rn hes being a little too edgy.#and then bc it would feel like im being manipulative and ik if ppl find out they would probably be very . distressed.#and if it were me and i found out i know id be incredibly distressed and maybe a little scared and just knowing other ppl like it just #would not help the situation ykwim itd probably make things worse #also kinda too tired physically emotionally etc rn to do it and go thru it and the aftermath and having to clean up and take care and #trust myself to be. safe. enough. abt it.#but. now hear me out. IF i do it somewhere that isnt super obv or visible. i doubt theyll know anytime soon.#and if things go. in a way thats.. i dont think i can cope with then well ill prob end up right back in this feeling without the like #withstraint of someone who cares and wants to care abt themselves and others and want to control themself and behaviours and health #but that thought in itself feels manipulative bc its like saying either way i wld prob do it teehee like a threat but. its. oeurghgnnfd.#i just. am struggling to cope. i feel things. so much. and. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i think if i have made it this far for this long i will be able to keep going without resorting to that?#but i really do hate that its like. wld be. yeah like turbo bad.#a very small and fucked up part of me feels like if things do go bad then what does it even matter and even better if whoever were to know #that i HAD relapsed bc ig at that point its like. idc who is upset or disappointed or uncomf or scared of/for me and thinks im terrible bc #at that point like. things are all. tumbling (lol) snd messed up so if i am messed up then whatever! ig. ????#but umm. yeah. idk i guess im just frustrated with my own . caring abt being responsible and stuff #there was a time when i was not as likely to be able to resist consequences be damned #im like over here going thru the stages of grief on god fr fr no cap on the stack or whatever ppl say #in other brighter news i managed to get a bit of work done on one of my assignments and some needed friend time but wasnt actually able to

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data #which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done #for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior #so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a #collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more #devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close #bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the #country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will #instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a #different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad #a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi #intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see #them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize #the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b #doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped #that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying #less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating #unrelated

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winchesternova-k · 2 years

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as has been the case so so many times, mcr managed to get me out of a panic spiral

#i’m going to be able to see my ma tomorrow and hopefully she can come up w something #if not i’ll just have to call him while i’m there and be completely honest #which will bite me in the arse bc it always does but idk what else to do #and in case ur wondering being truthful w him abt my disabilities in the past has only led to him being manipulative ableist or trying to #take over even more (he even tried to say i wasn’t fit to look after my ma)#i just wish i could scream at him i don’t want ur help! i don’t want anything from u! except to be left alone!!#he never asks he just does and assumes that what he’s doing is the best course #and heaven forbid u disagree bc then ur Ungrateful and deserve to be homeless #(yes he’s actually said that)#i feel so guilty abt the fact that the day he dies (which won’t be far off bc he’s terminally ill) will be nothing but a relief to me #i don’t wish him dead but i want him to leave me alone and since that’s the only way it’s happening #and i don’t WANT to feel relieved or look forward to the day a family member dies but he’s keeps doing so much harm #like i literally can’t do anything at ALL rn and he expects me to be able to clean an entire house so long as three of the ppl who i hate #the most still living on this earth are in the house!#(i don’t hate them rlly but holy fuck they make it hard not too)#sorry i just need to get this out #but at least mcr are keeping me from spiralling while i think this out #i can’t wait to see my therapist on tuesday holy shit #literally this just makes me want to run away and hide in my room at the motel #it’s the safest place i’ve ever felt bc they didn’t know i was there #i want to feel like that at home again #alex talks #vent tw #abuse tw

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thatdeadaquarius · 16 days

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Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

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♡the beloveds♡

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#genshin isekai #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin imagines #genshin impact #my asks #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #aqua asks #aqua chats #10/10 rlly fun idea #this was fun to juggle and even tho i feel like i kinda flopped it #it was still a fun idea for future sagau endeavors tbh #:) <3 #no but srsly im getting wisdom teeth surgery pls send everything good u got my way im nervous #its just intimidating to be knocked out and drugged up what can i say #might even write some sagau angst abt it when im languishing my fate in bed afterwards

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be-good-to-bugs · 1 month

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maybe i WILL get to move back home

#the bin #i talked to my mom and things might go ok but idk #i just have to wait and see but i desperately hope i can move. i need to see a doctor so bad. my whole body feels horrible all the time #and my tooth has gotten so much worse. i can deal with it if thres an end date. i cant deal with it indefinitely. and i cant afford to get #it fixed without insurance. i would rather die than deal with this shit for another however long i have to i CAN NOT do that #esp bc i would need to go to work while experiencing it. idk. im shaky literally ALL the time and my insides alwyas hurt and my joints #hurt so much too. and half the time im at work my chest hurts and i cant see straight. i cant fuckin do this anymorew.#apparently my dad might be getting a new job so their landlord might be more willing to renew but idk. she said she should know on april 1st #which isnt that far away but idk. i mean. its not impossible theyll renew. who knows. i hope so.#i know at keast thst i have a way to get there if there is a place for me to live so thats good. my health cant take this anymore. and im #also not able to emotionally. idk what other option i have but. god. its hard enough as is. im having like a perpetual panic attack since i #found out i probs wont get to move. im tryna be optimistic. i dont think im physically capable of staying here any longer #it was hard enough to stay herenthis extra yearm ive been having breakdowns repeatedly over it. and my physical health keeps worsening #i miss my little sister. i wanna be able to see the people i care about. theres so few people in the world i enjoy being around and i dont #get to see them ever. instead i have to see my second least favorite person in the world in order to even just get groceries #hhhh. i want the time to pass so i can know for sure but i also desperately dont wnat it to cause im so scared itll be bad news #whatever. i will hope and believe that itll work out until i know that it wont. hhhhh. worst case scenario i guess ill just have to save up #and figure out moving there later on but like. i was really happy to NOT have to worry abt rent or working so i could focus on my health and #then i could go back that that stuff. oh well

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kiestrokes · 7 months

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i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely

ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.

🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.

Seonghwa

He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.

Hongjoong

HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.

Yunho

The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.

Yeosang

His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.

San

Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.

Mingi

He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.

Wooyoung

He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.

Jongho

Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.

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