#and she made a joke abt me being autistic (bad joke to make) so i told her i actually was autistic and she was weird around me the rest of

[beetrootsoupdragon]

hmmm.

#vent in tags #turns out my only friend is actually really ableist and queerphobic #like i guess i should have realised that when she called me a slur #but i just excused it #like i excused her being really mean to me #like theres a line between playful joking and trying to insult the other person #and she made a joke abt me being autistic (bad joke to make) so i told her i actually was autistic and she was weird around me the rest of #the day but then near the end she started beingreally rude to me #including saying something like “i have too small of a mental capasity to be a good friend” or something #and like #shes never said anything like this until i told her i was autistic #plus she has always been weird abt me not using excact labels and just referring to my gender and sexuality in general terms #and she was really really weird abt me being trans #and she was so weird when she found out abt my sh #and i actually hate being around her #she makes me feel so bad abt myself wtff #i put up with it bcs i have no other friends #we're not a good friendship bcs she wants so much more from me than i can give and she refuses to give anything back #idk what to do abt it bcs there is. no way ill be able to just stop talking to her #shes really good at forcing me to spend time with her #idk shes actually really manipulative

[br1ghtestlight]

Hi hello, I just wanted to say how much I adore your account because all of your Bob's Burgers opinions are completely correct. Yes. You are wonderful. ALSO, YOU ARE THE AMAZING PERSON WHO WROTE THE GENDERFLUID GENE FANFICTION YES. IT IS SO ADORABLE AND MADE ME SQUEAL, DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

Thank you for bringing the Autistic Bob headcanon to my attention 👏🏼

Do you perhaps have any headcanons about Autistic Bob, because it makes me absolutely feral 👀

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! :D this actually means a lot bcuz i always feel like im annoying people by posting so much on this account and spamming the tag im just very passionate about. burgers (and thank u for reading my genderfluid gene fanfiction i poured my entire heart and soul into it haha)

OKAY AUTISTIC BOB HEADCANONS

he is so bad at talking to ppl its very stressful because he doesn't understand social cues and people always assume he hates them?? bcuz he isnt very expressive and his words get misinterpreted so people he's talked to like once think that he hates them and he's an asshole so they treat him like garbage, but in reality he's a very loving and passionate and kind person he just doesnt express that very well :(

he wasn't very good at making friends when he was in school (and still isnt) like obviously socializing was hard bcuz of the restaurant and his mom but even outside of that he just Didn't understand other kids and they knew something was weird/different about him and treated him badly even if he didnt understand why, he was very trusting as a kid and fell for people's jokes and tricks a lot of the time bcuz he didnt question them which lead to him being pretty cynical as an adult

bob being autistic is 100% a genetic thing he inherented from big bob but neither of them would ever admit this and they both just think its a personality quirk, it is not

his special interest is cooking and he absolutely LOVES talking abt different recipes and ingredients he uses, he's usually good at controlling himself but if you get him talking about cooking he will not ever stop (linda actually loves this and actively encourages it by asking him questions especially when they first started dating bcuz she thought he was cute and otherwise he didnt talk about himself very much)

bob gets stressed out very easily and likes having control of things in his kitchen especially when he first started his restaurant bcuz he had a specific routine for everything, then he had kids and linda running around everywhere and he got a lot better at dealing with last-minute changes and stress LOL he still prefers cooking by himself though and his control freak tendencies tend to come out around the holidays (he definitely tries not to be Like That because he doesnt want to turn out like his father)

sometimes when the restaurant is busy bob will get overwhelmed and linda will tell him to take a break and go to the employee bathroom to calm down while she handles everything, he's very lucky that he married someone who thrives off chaos and craziness bcuz he would not survive without her

bob is the only person in their family who actually reads books its not very often, but he enjoys reading books about the cooking process and memiors written by professional chefs :) linda thinks that its extremely nerdy but she loves him and she thinks its cute when he reads before bed she calls him her little professor

bob doesn't stim very often bcuz he's good at masking (kinda) and he isnt very expressive in general but if he's really excited about something he'll start bouncing on his feet when he talks until he notices what he's doing and then he's embarrassed, he also mostly does vocal stims when he's anxious/upset lots of groaning just like tina and he repeats things somethings (especially recipes that he has memorized)

when bob has meltdowns (not very often) they usually come out as anger and he starts screaming at everybody and just being annoyed by everything and he's kinda awful to be around until he calms down, everyone in his family knows that he didnt mean it and that he was just stressed out and they're more worried about him than anything bcuz he doesn't typically lash out like that

bob learned the napkin trick he used with gene in the laser show episode when he was a kid bcuz he used to get stressed out while working at his dad's restaurant and the loud noise did not help, his dad wasnt totally understanding but he would let bob take a break if he needed it especially during busy days he would typically work in the kitchen

this is just canon but bob is awful with talking to customers which is why linda and the kids are usually the servers LOL he has absolutely no social skills and he feels like he always says the wrong thing and misses social cues and he comes off as cold and antisocial, if a customer comes back often enough like teddy he'll be more open to talking to them bcuz he knows them but otherwise he usually stays in the back of the restaurant and cooks (this is also why tina wasn't allowed to serve the customers when she was younger but after she asked her dad about it he said that she was allowed as long as she didn't try too hard to make conversation with them)

bob sees a lot of his younger self in tina which is something he absolutely refuses to look deeper into but she's a lot more social and confident than he ever was and she has way more friends than he did at her age (this is almost certainly something she got from her mom)

bob is usually okay around linda and the kids bcuz they're his family and he's used to them and doesnt feel as stressed out or anxious when he's around them, but sometimes he just cant deal with anyone and the kids annoy him with constant questions and loud noises so linda takes the kids out for the day and bob gets to relax at home and watch old western movies idk (this was a lot more common when the kids were younger bcuz now he can just ask them to leave him alone and they'll go to their rooms or whatever) but he's always happy when his family comes home <3

linda will occasionally drag bob out to social events or parties (especially when they were younger amd had more energy/no kids) but she also knows his limits and will come up with the perfect excuse to leave right as he's getting overwhelmed, he doesnt mind going to parties with her because of his (except family parties because they are a lot. he usually just stays home with the kids)

#I COULD ADD MORE BUT IM VERY TIRED #i had to add the stimming one bcuz i have written multiple fanfictions where he did that so its something i believe now i guess?? #it makes sense idk he's a very subdued guy #doesnt really get emotional or express things #ask #bob's burgers #headcanons

[franki-lew-yo]

You know, as a bi person, I really kind of hate the aggressive pissing on hetero ships by virtue of it being hetero and not for the actual faults of the couple or characters.

Mind you; this is not the same problem as homophobes people who insist they don't hate gay stuff but have 0 gay couples and fight headcanons saying that they're gay. Those people, even if they don't know it; are homophobic. Their stubborness to face the fact that they're bigots makes them even more bigoted because bigotry does not inherently = being mean, but is about the inability to accept or think of other people. It's scary how many people earnestly think you have to shout some Westbro Baptist Church bs to be actually homophobic, and all that's before you get to internalized bigotry within the LGBTQ culture. Speaking of which...

I saw a thread where people were hating on Friendship is Magic because Pinkie Pie canonically gets with Weird Al's ponysona. --Obv I'm biased because that being made canon was the only part of the finale I liked as obviously I loved Cheese Sandwich for being his own character apart from Pinkie Pie and Weird Al-- but, BESIDES THAT; The complaint was talking about how some characters were "forced into being straight" by the writers and...really? You're incapable of headcanoning Pinkie and Cheese are bi or in an open marriage or just invalidating Pinkie now because she's the only one of the mane 6 who canonically had a kid with a stallion? Really?

There's being queer baited and wanting more gay couples that are also main characters and not off to the side cyclops police. And then there's getting mad that a character without a canonized sexuality is in a hetero relationship at least once in their life. Not even that they themselves are for sure straight, just that they're married or w the opposite sex.

Naturally, I only have women shippers to talk about. I can't quite talk for gay men or m/m shipcourse. Whenever I see lesbiansapphics be all "even canonically straight characters should be made gay"/"this ship would be fine if it were lesbians"/"this character should have gotten with this character so I can have lesbians", I do know it's all just joking. At least, I'm pretty sure. I know the reason you want more lesbians -I want more lesbians too because lesbians are great! You are right in how and what kind of scrutiny is held against you for liking women and like fiction women liking other fictional women...but...maybe don't be so judgemental of the ladies on your side who happen to like some m/f ships more than your appointed 'good' ship?

"We're not judgemental. You're the one who's judgemental for not being able to take some light rubbing abt your ship being straight."

Am I though? When you hate on a m/fships because seeing people support them in ANY WAY means you have to make fun of them just to validate your own feelings...idk pardon MY autistic arse for feeling a tad bit picked on or lumped in with the really not okay straights. Am I excluded from defending myself because I'm not the ideal lesbian? I'll never survive the sapphic hunger games if I don't have specific standards for my gay couples vs my straight ones?

I've seen people adore The Owl House for being gay because it is but absolutely hate that Willow/Hunter is implied and then be mad that Luz didn't get with Willow because "Amity is a bad girlfriend". It's not Dana's fault that Luz got with the "wrong woman", the show was written with Lumity being endgame and Hunter being an important side character because he's related to the main villain who is a man. Cope. I've seen people hate on MysteryElk because Elktaur/General has a standardly attractive' hunky design; I've seen people hate Edred from Unicorn Warriors Eternal for being an icky 'generic' guy. If you actually know the characters and the relationships in question with their lovers, you'd know that the fact that they're a man is the LEAST problematic thing they got going on! No, the men in these couples being women would not "fix" anything not just for shippers but in the actual show with the relationships. Like, you DO get that the problem is Nowhere King is the aggressor and that Edred is clingy and unsupportive, right? That those are the actual problems with these couples? And GOSH do I now hate Clone High's insistence that JFK is actually a decent person because he's not a 'pick me' like Abe. I hate that, in the wake of the internet realizing how bad tumblr sexymen nice guys really are, we apparently have to pick out the men who are "salvageable" or obsess over the problemed ones problems because they are men. Which- come to think of it, isn't that part of the issue with SnapeWife-types who stan flawed male characters like their the second coming but antagonize women characters for being flawed? Shouldn't we, idk, maybe encourage people to love characters for their flaws and not because we can 'fix' them somehow or hate them because they exemplify a person you hate irl?

Overall, the (hopefully) ironic demand for gay couples all the time like it's a supremacy is kind of irritating to me. I'm just not into living with the "this majority group are all the things wrong"-mindset, or even a "you deserve to feel the bigotry I already experience because that's cathartic for me". I know exactly why people are in pain. I know that pain because a lot of it is the same I have to go through. The reason I'm 'biting back', not at the gay community I'm in but at this specific mindset? Yeah it IS because I'm obsessed with people judging me, but I think it's because I'm self aware of this problem I have that I don't want to indulge the part of me that wants petty payback at all. When and if I like my petty payback, I want to make sure it's not at the people who might be judging me vs the people who actually, honestly are.

TL;DR: I love me some 'straights are not okay'-jokes, but there comes a point where I can not hear them when you clearly don't mean it as a joke.

No amount of active bigotry in this world will make the toxic absolutism you got as a result of that bigotry something I need to deal with as the butt of your anger. I and other bi/pan/ally people are not your stress dolls, inherently. The straights (a group) are not okay, not the straights (individuals), k?

#rant #vent #shipping #shipping discourse #fandom discourse #lgbtq #lgbtq representation

[ahxiang]

mkay i dont get why autistic ppl usually have headphones/gen

it might be bc i have hearing loss so everything is quiet but rlly is there a reason?/nm

there is! tysm for asking, kind anon. also ty for using tone indicators! it makes me happy to see ppl use them bc while i personally can usually tell when ppl on the internet are joking or genuine, they do help me fully understand and most importantly i love using tone indicators bc it alleviates my anxiety of being misinterpreted. anyway, to the question at hand!

to understand the headphones thing we have to go back to that concept i spoke abt earlier abt autism being a Too Much Disorder. once again, the scientific definition of the autism spectrum is a range of neurodevelopmental conditions generally characterized by difficulties in social interactions and communication, repetitive behaviors, intense interests, and unusual responses to sensory stimuli. the thing about autistic brains is that they are essentially wired differently, causing some advantages and disadvantages. the disadvantages include issues with interpreting and organizing stimuli, as well as our senses being heightened. (which can be both a disadvantage and advantage)

because of the nature of the autism spectrum, our difficulties with sensory input plus our heightened senses make us very susceptible to something called sensory overload. this is when we get so overwhelmed by stimuli that we begin to freak out, be uncomfortable and/or in pain, and sometimes completely shut down. the stereotypical autistic meltdown you see of a little boy crying and screaming in public is usually caused by the sensory overload of all the sounds, movement, lights, and other stimuli in the environment. much like when wyw freaked out when she witnessed her client's death, being overstimulated can lead to the same distress.

on top of this, some autistic people, like my ex-gf for example, have something called misophonia. it is a disorder of decreased tolerance to specific sounds or their associated stimuli. it's a more specific and intense sensory issue that deals exclusively with sounds. for my ex-gf, the sound of chewing was a Bad Sound. even just seeing ppl eat on tv with the sound muted distressed her bc her brain supplied the sound. certain percussion was bad for her too and she couldn't listen to music she loved as her misphonia got worse.

some autistic ppl without misophonia, like me, don't necessarily have specific sounds that are bad even when just reminded of their existence. but we are more sensitive to bad sounds or volume of sounds. y'know how everyone hates nails on a chalkboard? many autistic ppl feel that way about a plethora of sounds. like i don't like the sound of silverware being used on glass or porcelain, so i use plastic whenever possible. but it can also be about how loud sounds are. like when wyw covered her ears and became distressed when a leafblower was turned on nearby. it can also just be abt the amount of sounds, too. lots of autistic ppl hate being in public because of the sheer number of overlapping noises. it’s not necessarily that the noises are bad or loud, but that there are so many that they overwhelm us. 

and the worst part of it all is that these bad sounds, volumes, or amounts can change. one day i might be totally fine hearing silver cutlery and another day i might feel like i'm dying when i do. sometimes i'll be fine hearing sounds in public, but then i start getting sensory overload because of the amount of noise and sounds/volumes that were okay just a minute ago become worse and worse. for example, today i was taking things out of my storage unit to move into my new apartment. i was completely fine with the jingling of the keys, the rumbling of the storage unit door, and the light clanging of my furniture against each other. but then the cart i used to haul stuff back to my car made the most horrendous noises and suddenly everything was awful. i clamped my hands over my ears while pushing the cart and almost had a meltdown when i returned to close the door and it made loud, metal noises. i was fine one minute and the next i was overwhelmed and suddenly nothing was okay.

so! a preventive measure autistic ppl take so they don't go into sensory overload is using headphones. usually they're noise cancelling headphones but some people also like to play music or soothing sounds. so wyw wears headphones whenever she’s outside or in public and, correct me if i’m misremembering, plays whale sounds to soothe herself. i personally don't use headphones cause i can't afford noise cancelling ones, but earbuds playing music work pretty well! sometimes i have the issue of them not blocking out sounds well enough so when i play music it’s overwhelming, but they work well enough. now, i know headphones were your question, but this concept applies to other senses as well!! it’s sensory overload, not audio overload after all. autistic ppl can often be sensitive to light, especially rapidly changing ones or artificial ones. personally, i wear sunglasses outside even when it’s cloudy because i get very overwhelmed by sunlight. if not, i squint too much and then it’s a safety hazard, especially when i drive. so i’m always using sunglasses. some autistic people wear gloves in public to avoid touching Bad Textures, some of us actively avoid certain foods, etc, etc. 

so yeah! hope that helped and as always remember that autism is a spectrum that causes different people to experience different symptoms in different ways!

#thank you for the question anon and for trying to learn abt others!! #extraordinary attorney woo #actually autistic #autism #eaw #tea answers #anon #eaw autism science #<- my new tag for these posts cause i'm getting many questions now and wanna organize them

[kevkandyland]

I rlly rlly wanna talk about. a lot of my spookymonth head canons so I’ll list em off

This might be long so here’s a read more thing. This is only like 4 people but it’s. A lot.

you can send me asks if ur curious abt em doe (@krill-does-art helped me with a lot of these!!!)

JACK

He’s polyamorous, and johns fiancé at the moment.

Jack has had several encounters with the cult, not good ones.

he has horrible nightmares :[

he is ross’ adoptive father along with John!!

he’s in the process of dating an ice cream clerk named beel!! (character belongs to @krill-does-art)

transmasc and autistic u can’t tell me otherwise

LOVES LOVES LOVES cake and pumpkin donuts specifically

favorite icecream flavors are chocolate and rockyroad

dad jokes :]

ROSS

Ross is 17

ross doesn’t admit it but he really loves dogs even though he can’t get one

ross looks up to his adoptive dads!! his biological parents are jaune and Frank (result of a hook up that happened years ago)

Ross’ older brother is Kevin but he isn’t very aware of this, Kevin had a different father then him

Ross and jaune still meet up everyonce n awhile but he’s not much of a fan of it, he’d rather be at home

Ross is very soft spoken sometimes

his favorite ice cream is chocolate!!

he’s gay and polyamorous, currently dating Roy and Robert

he teaches Roy how to skate sometimes

adhd

has sadly encountered a cult member or two

dude is a fucking vampire and is so dramatic abt it

ROBERT

he’s autistic and adhd

He loves cats and feeds stray ones all the time !!

adores painting

looks up to both of his older siblings; tries to be someone to look up to for his little sister as well

loves mittens

currently learning how to knit and crochet. he can’t keep a hobby but tries his best

used to have those sea monkey things and kept them alive for so long

genuinely sobbed when he had to get rid of the tank Cus it stanky

cries easily. will crush u if u hurt his friends n fam tho

stays out really late and gets up pretty early. hates being in his own home

hates watermelon flavored anything. it makes his throat burn and he isn’t aware that it’s a light allergy and just hates the taste either way

Robert knows some German from jaune

very loud once happy

stimstimstim

will eat like three things of chocolate if u give it to him

he wants to go to art school one day

dating Ross and Roy but can get a little jealous if he shows up late and they’re already doin stuff

makes gifts for them. he made Roy some mittens once

trans!! uses he/him and occasional he/she pronouns

KEVIN

transmasc

currently crushing on two fine gentlemen. one definitely isn’t a technical criminal.

really dysphoric sometimes, later on he gets better with this

doesn’t hate his job— he gets small enjoyment out of it

not the biggest fan of kids but he grows onto em

favorite candy is jus milk chocolate and then those spicy ass gumballs

bad sweets intolerance he doesn’t like things with much sugar

pet rat. his name is milk

milk is his best buddy

if Kevin let’s you hold milk he trusts the fuck out of you

has a small bird watching hobby and gives all the birds dumb nicknames like “that red one with the fucking mohawk”

he owns two heated blankets

he’s not a fan of icecream. too cold

lots of sweaters

genuinely just a vibe

ocd + adhd

#spooky month oc #beel #Kevin #ross #Robert #Jack #spooky month jack #spooky month robert #spooky month ross #spooky month Kevin #jam rambles #jambles #spooky month headcanon #headcanons

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hey Dani

I’m really struggling right now

My relationship with my parents has taken a bad turn, and I don’t think I know it

My brother has ADHD and me and my friend have been talking abt me possibly being autistic for a while now, after a combination of things, and I’ve just been noticing a lot of things and I’ve realised that I can’t possibly be neurotypical and a lot of people have been noticing it

But my parents - particularly my dad - keep making the ‘oh you’re just autistic joke’ since most of my extended family are adhd. And then my brother jumps in yelling SHES AUTISTIC GET A TEST and then they say oh no you’re not autistic you just have autistic tendencies. like bro what does that even mean

So that’s just been really confusing, they also made a ‘joke’ about me being a psychopath. And they say that I’m a horrible person a lot just because of random things I say when I actually care about things a lot I’m just bad at filtering and they get quite angry when I react to things and make fun of me a lot and honestly I’m just tired of it all. It doesn’t help, especially when I’ve been noticing all these things which is making day to day interaction so much harder and it’s getting to the point where I just don’t want to hang out with people anymore because I’m constantly worried I’m gonna say something wrong and then not know what to do about it.

I can’t talk to them about it the only person I talk to is my best friend and there’s nothing he can really do. The thing that really irritates me is how quick they are to diagnose people with adhd/autism but they refuse to see the symptoms in their own daughter. like they clearly know it’s there, since they make the jokes, but they’re just refusing to even consider it and it’s making my life so stressful

Part of me wants to get an assessment but they can take a really long time and if it turns out I’m not actually autistic then I’m just going to be even more confused and constantly wondering what’s wrong with me and I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore. Whenever I’m alone I just want to break down

It doesn’t help that I’ve got a ton of exams in two weeks and I’m super stressed about them and all of that on top of each other plus the fact that one of my friends blatantly told me that he doesn’t like me and thinks I’m annoying and now is refusing to even look at/speak to me is just not helping and I don’t know what to do

Hello, love.

I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time.

About the family thing. I hate it families do that. I hate it when they rationalize or trivialize mental/physical health issues. These are real problems and they need real solutions. Please know that you don't need an official diagnosis for your family/parents to treat you with empathy and respect. That's just basic decency. If you can talk to them about it, at least mention that their jokes are hurting your feelings. I once did that with my mom. It helped with the situation a little.

I would also suggest that you do get a diagnosis. See. If it's something else, we wouldn't think it over so much. If it's something to do with our heart or like liver or whatever, even if it's the tiniest symptom, we get it checked immediately. We don't do the same when for mental or developmental issues. Even IF it turns out that you are not autistic, I think the diagnosis would still help you a lot. So, please give this a think and see how you feel about it. Maybe go with one of your friends. It will give you some strength to be there with someone who gets you.

I hope the exam goes well. If you want to get your exams over with and tackle this after, then do that. Our energy is not infinite. We can only bear so much. So, try to prioritize. Always choose what is best for your mind and healthy.

You can always reach out to me if you want to talk this over or need any help.

PS - Fuck that friend. That's it. What a shit. I don't have anything to say about that friend. Focus on things you can control and ignore people who make you bad about yourself.

Sending you loads and loads of love.

PPS - If anyone has any advice for Bee on the autism diagnosis, please do share <3

#support #bee happy

[rodentiae]

I NEED to know more abt your thoughts on Inside Job. /pos

Ok so take this with a huge grain of salt because i quite literally just woke up but i feel so disappointed with this new season !! Also maaaaajor major spoilers ahead.

Season one was really compelling. It had its moments where it was a bit silly or goofy or just tropey but i felt like that was just part of the show honestly. I didn’t mind the moments where there were forced one-liners because overall the show was good! I loooooved Reagan’s character because i have literally never seen an adult show that had a woman like that who was openly autistic and antisocial and just flawed. She felt like a real character with real, human issues which only got deeper and more interesting with the final two episodes of the season.

Compare that to season two where she does a COMPLEEEETE 180. The first few minutes were fine! They made sense! Yeah she is falling deeper into substance abuse she lost everything and all the people she cared about didn’t support her. She’s becoming the thing she hates most and losing her grip on herself in the process. Then that stupid fucking bland Ron dude shows up and his entire character halts all the progress they were going to make with her character and makes her feel like a total self-insert to me.

When their relationship begins it feels almost like the show becomes a trope on a trope on a trope on a poorly-written YA novel. Reagan stops being a multi-faceted, flawed human being. She becomes a quirky Y/N girlfriend to this guy who i cannot even bring myself to give a shit about like he’s just so unlikable! Not only does she lose oh I don’t know her debilitating substance abuse problems but the entire thing that compelled me to her character in the first place! She just becomes well-adjusted so fast with no explanation! Just because she is dating some random fucking guy she just met.

That’s not even mentioning the problems I have with the second season as a whole. There were moments that were genuinely funny, sure. But for the most part it just felt like something drastic happened with the writing team or the production that changed the show into what could have happened if Rick and Morty was written by centrists. There were also a lot of jokes that were just written in insanely poor taste for me, especially the ableist ones and oh I don’t know showing literal clones of hitler. Jarring and unfunny to me honestly. Oh yeah and what the fuck was that about Reagan and Brett’s arcs with their abusive parents kind of resulting in them just. Forgiving them???????? Idk it felt as if the narrative wanted us to forgive Rand for being just an alcoholic and a bad dad without recognizing that, even though he had his reasons and motivations, he still traumatized Reagan throughout her entire life and is an abusive piece of shit.

tldr: This is my killing eve s4. I’m rly sad about what they did to Reagan’s character and sad that they decided to make her straight with someone that wasn’t Brett lmfaooo. I feel like the show was written and produced by a totally different team than it was last season and everything feels out of place. Season two had so much potential :((

#inside job #inside job spoilers #anyways part 2 isn’t canon its not real it can’t hurt you #asks

[yanosbian]

the people who get mad abt self diagnosis come off to be the kind of ppl who dont want to see us being proud of who we are. many of the people who say that were "making autism a trend" are people who come off as simply not wanting to see autistic people or what they have to say. so much of the conversations around autistic people come from people who aren't autistic or from medical sources. because of this, the way people perceive autistic people is barely as people at all. so when they're faced with our humanity, it makes them uncomfortable because of their preconceived notions already surrounding autism. i'm a nonbinary lesbian, and the same kind of arguments are used consistently. they don't want us to be ourselves "out in the open" or they want to be completely separate from their lives. they don't understand us, and they don't want to, so they turn it on the oppressed as OUR fault.

more ranting under the cut...

also, the "rise of autism" is bullshit. we do live in an internet age, but that isn't always necessarily a bad thing. before, many people only assumed if they were autistic based off of stereotypes. that didn't mean people werent autistic. i have relatives who have gotten diagnosed as having adhd and dyslexia in their 60s because theres more information readily available about it. if this is true for my middle aged aunties, why is it not true for younger people? women, people who... aren't children, and poc are less likely to be diagnosed with adhd or autism because of assumptions that medical professionals have (i'm not gna talk abt that im sure we all know abt discrimination in the medical field). in my case, all of my aunties are middle-aged/elderly east asian women. even still, one of my aunties was told there was "no use in diagnosing her with autism because shes too old". it's bullshit. they're not even saying "you don't have autism", they're just straight up denying you access to diagnosis.

because it's well known that we are refused access to diagnosis, many people rely on self diagnosis, not just because we made it up, but because we've done thorough research on it, contemplated on our own behaviors, talked to other people who have autism/adhd/etc. i was able to self diagnose myself because i was friends with people who were neurodivergent, some of them who were professionally diagnosed and others who were self diagnosed. having people who have similar behaviors to you that attribute those behaviors to a more complex reason other than "im not good with humour" makes you think. self diagnosis isn't just someone waking up and thinking we have autism, it's something you deliberate on. besides, i think the active pushback on self diagnosis is simply because we're talking about it. many people self diagnose before getting professionally diagnose. you can't walk into a psychiatrist's office and they just tell you that you have autism (esp with the way our medical system works). people like me for example, self diagnose in order to acknowledge that we have this disability/disorder, and then later (sometimes, not everyone) get a professional diagnosis, or at least seek one. of all the things i have self-diagnosed myself with, i was never wrong. because self diagnosis isn't a joke.

self diagnosis isn't an epidemic, its a rising of people being able to know why they are the way they are.

if people want to point out one or two people who've "faked" diagnosis, it's suuuuuch bullshit. besides, sometimes in the MEDICAL WORLD people get misdiagnosed. i have no problem with people trying to figure out who they are, and making mistakes on the way. if someone thinks they have autism, then realize it might be adhd or ocd, that's fine and it's better than getting a professional misdiagnosis. theres so much misinformation and widespread stereotypes that make it hard for people to understand themselves, and many disorders have overlap. i have autism, adhd, and a learning disability (and have wondered almost my entire life if i have ocd lmao). autism can be similar to adhd can be similar to a learning disability. mental disabilities/disorders can be complex as fuck. for example, i have epilepsy, which is known to be more apparent in people with autism. when i tell people that its probably confusing as fuck. i dont understand it either.

because, not to get psychological, but our brains don't know they're autistic, or have adhd, or are neurotypical. WE know we are, because we take these things our brain does and attribute them to a label. because the world has made that label. im not calling it a label in a bad way, or saying its wrong, more to acknowledge that autism can be different for everyone, and that's because autism isn't one thing. its not one carbon copy brain that we all have. no one has the same brain. not entirely, and throughout our lives our brain develops and changes. my grandfather was older than the thing he got diagnosed with. doesn't mean he didn't have it. doctors just studied and studied and eventually were able to attribute behaviors to a unique diagnosis

i could rant on forever but im ending it here cus im tired

#yanosbian speaks #my ted talk for today #autism #self diagnosis #rant post

[antisocialgaycat]

feel free to ignore im kind of just screaming into the void here

so i love my friends right like theyre great people however there are some things that they do that kind of make me dislike them and i feel so bad abt it cos i love them but some of the shit they do makes me so uncomfy and i dont want to say anything cos what if they hate me for it and want to stop being friends with me and even though i know that they wont it still scares me lol but some of the shit they do makes me so uncomfy like some of them are hella transphobic and dont even realise it hell some of them say homophobic shit like in a joking way but it still kinda scares me also one of them uses autistic as an insult and that absolutely does not sit right with me and like this one isnt even that bad but they constantly refer to me as the gay one and they dont even seem to think of me as more than that sometimes also i have asked them a hundred times to call me lesbian instead of gay but nope im the gay one in the friend group and nothing will change that and that kind of doesnt vibe with me too good also theres this person who they keep referring to as my girlfriend or my wife and that absolutely is not okay with me and if asked them to stop so many times but they either cant or wont cos they keep calling her that and the thing is that the person they keep calling my wife is a really good friend of mine and we also have a lot of friends in common and i hang out w her and her friends a lot and whenever my friends see me with her they always take photos and shit which makes me so uncomfy i hate having photos taken of me and theyre also really unsubtle about calling her my girlfriend and shit when shes around and when her friends around and im so scared that either her or one of her friends will figure out that i like her and she'll be like ew thats mank and ill lose yet another friend and even tho i know thats so so unlikely cos shes a great person but it would at the very least make things awkward between us and i dont want that cos shes a good friend (better than my fg) so if my friends mess up that friendship i swear im gonna have no friends at all cos ill likely get pissed as fuck at them and my other friends will think im mentally fucked up and then i may as well just leave the entire fucking school and go to my local one and even though i know im catastrophising to the end of the earth and back it still doesnt take away from the fact that some of my friends are making me feel so uncomfy that i dont want to hang out w them even tho i love them also theres these two really toxic people in my grade who sometimes hang out with us (one more than the other) and theyve told the one whos not nice per se but less bad than the other one and hangs out with us less to fuck off and the homophobic transphobic bitch who uses so many slurs its not ok at all they seem to have no problem with oh and theres this kid in the year below us who always dabs up the rest of my fg but whenever he sees me he just says ew no ur a lesbian and one time he said that i prolly jerk off to furry porn and first of all what the actual fuck second of all that made me feel so uncomfy and third of all my fg just laughed and they still bring it up so often and they surely can tell it makes me feel so so fucking scared and i dont even fucking know why oh and one of my closest friends has the most terrible taste in guys like i swear she lies the most toxic people and im the only one who can actually see that cos all the others think theyre hot and they dont realise just how bad its gonna end every time theres literally only 2 people in that group who actually dont ever make me feel like my skeleton js gonna fucking scuttle out of my skin and crab walk to the nearest trash can and jump in so tysm to sarah (i aint gonna tag u cos i dont want u to see this post lmao im still gonna post it tho) and arkie (she doesnt even have tumblr and will never see this post but i still want to put it in writing) anyways yuh thats my lil vent

#just a load of garbage #literally ignore this please im js screaming into the void and hoping some answers float out of my words which they wont but still #also my fg make me feel so shit for hanging out with other people but like im fucking allowed to talk to people yall dont own me #they never did this to s or j and j fucking left the fg entirely and they still love her #anyways yeah #please ignore this #irl ppl ignore this please #this should never leave my drafts #it prolly will tho lmao

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

#meme response #myosotis horizon #rambles #the hunters

[b4st4rd-420]

When I was younger, I rly wanted to die. I can’t say that you did nothing about it, because you did. You made me feel a lot worse.

I was constantly fasting, cutting / burning / hitting myself every day, living in constant fear of losing my mind completely. You heard from multiple professionals about my mental state and saw that I was in constant pain. What you did was mock me, make fun of my self harm habits and act angry about the whole thing, me being in pain. I needed someone to care and comfort me so bad but all I got from you ( and my mom ) was anger, frustration and punishments from being angry all the time. It felt like you or my mom only cared when my pain affected you in some way. If I yelled at you, showed anger, stained something with blood, caused the first aid kit to run out every month or stuff like that. Or if I struggled with eating, picking my food in the store, eating at proper times etc. I obviously felt like I deserved all of the outrage and blame coming to me. I mean, I was giving myself all this physical pain as a punishment from existing so why would I feel like I deserved care and safety? I was just making the lives of everyone around me a lot harder by staying alive instead of not, after all. It was right for me and everyone else to punish me for it. 

I was so close to actually killing myself, but moving 300km away from you and that miserable little town honestly saved me. I’m not saying that me killing myself would’ve been your fault if it had happened, but if I was 15-17 years old kid who was so visibly struggling and all you did was blame me, make fun of me and invalidate my identity & mental health problems. 

I remember you making a joke about how I would kill myself if I joined the army, making jokes about my self harm scars / marks and about how lazy and cranky I was. I remember you refusing to call me by my name and using my deadname or a male name that you found funny instead. I remember how your girlfriend was concerned that my queerness would ‘’confuse’’ her kid and you telling me to “tone it down”. I also remember how she called out that my cutting was not “pretty” and then snitching to you abt how I told her to mind her own business and you then being angry at me for that. I remember all of the blatantly ableistic things you and your gf did / said after I was diagnosed as an autistic. 

I can not understand why you acted that way towards your child who was clearly sick and suffering but I sure hope that one day I can be honest to you about this and tell you how you managed to make me feel even worse during those times, even though I didn’t know it was even possible. 

I hope that you have tried to self-reflect even a little bit after I moved out and have been trying to minimize all contact with you. I hope that one day I can start the process of you realizing what you did one day, if it haven’t started yet at that point. I hope that even though I know you don’t care about me or like me like my 2 younger siblings, you still feel at least some kind of sadness / remorse when / if you understand that there might even be a reason behind me moving out and avoiding you and that the reason is your behavior. 

#tw vent #tw parents #tw parental neglect #tw mental illness #tw sui mention #tw suidice #tw self harm #tw self destruction #tw ed stuff #tw sh #tw emotional trauma #tw emotional neglect #tw emotional abuse #tw ed

[colorisbyshe]

hey, just so you know, some of the stuff mentioned in those tweets abt the she-ra panel are just taken wildly out of context or just not really true. the thing abt the villains being called disabled rep was a thing a fan said, for example. i'm not saying nothing bad happened there, noelle stevenson did apologize for one of the things, but that post that's going around is just kind of a mess and mostly not rly accurate

I mean, did they then disagree with the fan and say “Actually, we have some work to do”

And like... Noelle’s apology wasn’t shit. ‘I’m gonna do better’ doesn’t tell us what she’s gonna actually do better so she and her crew mates never make *looks at notes* jokes about black slavery again

Like again I do not go here but I actually looked up what happened nad it’s all REALLY fuckin ugly (including things from the show that just went by without commentary before like putting the autistic character on a leash or whitewashing Mara) so... consider me miffed

ANd I know people keep harping on “Sow was an innocent mistake” but the INSTANT I saw the art I winced. This is an inside joke they REPEATEDLY made and drew and then said publicly... without a single one of them connecting ANY dots about how fucking racist it is (with no one, not a single person going “how about sew?”). That in and of itself is a fucking PROBLEM. If you can’t see how racist your racist joke is, that doesn’t make you less racist... that makes you still just as fucking racist.

from the all white panel making these “mistakes,” it is quite clear that just having LGBT white people (primarily women) is not a substitute for REAL diversity that is actually empowered, inclusive, and meaningful

#Anonymous

[transrightsjimin]

sorry i cant put this under a readmore but im tired nd ny mind is racing nd im sad and angry nd discuss bullying // nd child abuse //

still get freaked out whenever i think abt shut my mom told me in more recent years bc she heard it from a sort of friend back then in primary school tht other girls did shit like lock me up in the changing room or push all my clothes off the bench onto the wet floor, nd then just, other weird shit like my mom telling me my grandma basically once strangled me when i was younger bc i didnt want to eat strawberries on bread for one time nd im just??? i mean im glad my mom waited w telling these three things until i was much older bc i think it wouldve upset me more as a teen. it just scares me that stuff like that can happen when youre so young and you dont remember it at all, all i remember is how bad i felt at school nd the familiar feeling of fear nd sadness when i feel intimidated by someone nd start to cry. nd w my grandma there just arent any excuses, she never shouldve done that to me nd she was an abusive mother before that too nd she was cruel nd i absolutely understand why my mom has difficulties w her. but w my bullies... idk. i think bullying is absolutely terrible nd hate how it's treated so lightly, or like it's just jokes, just done bc of peer pressure, or all instigated by one bad person. like no, almost the entire class bullied me for years in primary school nd those that didnt just sat and watched as everyone made fun of literally just the way i came off as weird (autistic tbh) nd every reaction or lack thereof of mine was only more laughable. but at the same time, idk! i met my bully from primary school abt 5 years ago nd she was all friendly nd asked what i was up to and i didnt know how to respond, like she seemed so genuinely nice nd i didnt have it in me to show resentment to her. nd for a bunch of my other bullies, my mom used to tell me in the past that bullies often have 'issues themselves too' and i didnt know what that was supposed to meant bc like, what issues! that theyre angry so they take it out on someone? theyre mistreated too? nd she prob said it to make me feel better or be more understanding or idek, but it just made me feel bad for those if they rly were in a bad place. and then it turned out one of my main bullies was actually a victim of a sex trafficker (which was? is? called 'loverboy' in dutch nd its the worst) and suicidal and i didnt know, i just knew she was very poor, and my mom knew the rumours abt these things nd im a bit pissed she decided to turn it into 'people bully because they have issues themselves too'. im pretty sure i wouldve gotten it at the age of 10 if someone told me at the time she was being treated like shit

#rambles #child abuse // #bullying //

[mothgenes]

you don't have to answer if you don't want to but why do you hate hazbin so much? im just kinda trying to understand others point of view and im sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to ignore/delete this if you want.

nah dw about it as long as u dont reply to this or send another one like “oh idk i still love it” i wont get mad it gives me more opportunity to block hell hotel stans 

so there are many reasons here are a few

wlw named v4ggie which is super crass is specifically supposed to be salvadoran and her personality makes her an angry latina stereotype

ch4rlie is a white savior type of figure who wants to save everyone from themselves because she clearly knows better (reinforced by show to be the truth)

The Asexual Character (who i liked when i first saw, u gotta understand) is the BIG SCARY UNUSUAL ONE, who has SCARY powers that a HUMAN SOUL shouldnt have, as if he’s NOT HUMAN SOMEHOW..... scary inhuman and like. freak ass sadistic stalking murdering ace character like ok stop thnx (signed an irritated asexual)

4ngel dust HORRIBLE gay rep. he is The Gay One. his personality is 1) is gay, 2) is prostitute/sex freak who’s predatory and gets physical with uninterested people like the cat bartender man, 3) does drugs. his personality is those things almost exclusively! his design is not one that is respectfully showing a gay character. also: DRAG AND SLUT JOKES. BAD. (signed nby trans guy)

the hell itself thing is like HELLO. THIS IS HELL. IT IS VIOLENCE, BUT ALSO SEX AND DRUGS. PEOPLE IN HELL DO LOTS OF SEX AND DRUGS. SEX AND DRUGS ARE FOR SINNERS IN HELL. demonizes (literally) sex workers and drug addicts/abusers like HARDCORE, which is gross as fuck and overdone

“i dont touch the gays, i have standards.” need i go on? this was said straight without a humorous situation being involved. this was meant to be a JOKE, as if saying these things are FUNNY... gosh i really wish hh didnt touch the gays. i mean shit, WE have standards. (signed, a gay)

a lot of girl characters have x’s over their tits on their shirts and i think thats kinda fuckin gross and lazy

its family guy but edgier with a shitty muddled color palette with no contrast and shows off token representation as excuses for the “no touch gays” and “drag show” jokes n shit as if that makes it OKAY?

it is literally just family guy edgy hell, unfunny garbage sex and violence jokes with sexist and racist and homophobic and transphobic under and overtones throughout.

ALSO V1VZ1EPERSON LIKE. PROMOTED BLACKFACERS AND TERFS KINDA RECENTLY, RELATIVELY SPEAKING? AS LIKE, “CONTROVERSIAL WOMEN” , DRAWING THEM FANART???? CONTROVERSIAL???? U MEAN NASTY????

USED TO STEAL CHARACTER DESIGNS LIKE STRAIGHT UP FROM PEOPLE LIKE THE DIE YOUNG MUSIC VID MAIN CHARACTER

NEVER APOLOGIZED OR PUBLICLY DENOUNCED HER OLD HABIT OF DRAWING CHILDREN FUCKING SNAKES OR HER TEACHER-STUDENT PEDOPHILIA RELATIONSHIP SHE PROMOTED UNTIL LATER RET-CONNING IT INTO BEING NON-UNDERAGE?

MADE THESE CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST PLACE? AND SEEMS TO THINK THAT LIKING TO MAKE TRASHY CHARACTERS AND BEING DONE WITH IT MAKES IT OKAY TO MAKE TRASHY ASS HOMOPHOBIC FREAK SHIT CHARACTERS????? SELF AWARENESS GETS NO BROWNIE POINTS.

she also doesnt label her content as 18+ last i checked. its super easy to mark it as over eighteen or sensitive content, just a little button when uploading, but she doesnt bother. her artstyle attracts younger people, anywhere from like 12 to 15 and others. thats a PROBLEM!

ok i got a little angry and loud because hh is becoming a genuine trigger for me in that it makes me super nauseous and aggressive and anxious for kinda noticeable reasons according to above, (also im autistic and my emotions hit me like a boulder and getting upset or riled up too quickly can make me fuckin black out for a second so its a LOT)

so i’d appreciate not talking abt this more but i might as well answer. its not hard to find posts, some of which i’ve reblogged here, with actual links to sources for all of the vivshit.

anyway thats why i dont like it! preferably no follow up questions but i’ll block any freaks who come out to play

#mothmun mumbles #rant post #hell hotel #im not inviting freaks here #but this shit makes my face turn radish shade and need to lie down #if you read it all i applaud you #if youre still determined to defend vivperson and hell hotel after you read it all #i will block your ass so fast because like #how is at least half of this shit ok with people #i get some gays r cis white neurotypicals but like. #come on yall. seriously?? #long post #sighs #anon #ask

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 13

‘what, already?’ cry the people.  ‘yes, already,’ say kc and diesel. ‘but only for like a hot second.’

okay lets just jump right on in HOORAH

It was raining. The sky roiled saltpeter grey overhead. There were Grimm nearby. Glynda touched the cracked lens of her glasses and wiped away the fat drop of rain which had splattered against it. It was cool on her fingers. She stopped walking.

i love the transition from cinder’s POV which is all meaty slimy big wet slippery fancy words to glyndas ‘listen. words are. hard.’ look at this writing. look at it. lick it.

She stood very still, trying to remember where it was.

Her hand rose to her collar. It found waterproof fabric. She was wearing her poncho.

okay but drag me i do this all the time.

It might have bothered her, if she were the kind of Huntress to be bothered by discomfort.

this whole chapter/bit/arc/everything might have bothered her, if she were the kind of huntress, to have a braincell,

also gonna double back for JUST a moment since i’m on full 👈😎👈 neighbourhood watch and i think

The Manticore seared the sky beyond the clouds like a second sun.

I FEEL LIKE THATS A 👈😎👈. IN FACT I’M PRETTY CONVINCED OF IT, ACTUALLY. HM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-- 

its hard to like. rly say how good this narration is in its own little way because its so. like that. you know. but its making such good use of the, like, negative space between sentences that everything feels so good and disjointed and did i mention the writing alone -- like even if we ignore literally Everything Else -- blows offal hunt v1 out of the water??? like who even is that bitch. idk her. but yeah like it feels both real fast and real slow, like yr skipping from one thought to another but yr not actually GETTING anywhere? it’s like that classic case of ‘talking a lot but not saying anything’. anyway i love this fic and u should too, is my point,

Cinder made a sound. It was the kind of sound people made when they weren’t having a good time.

you know what thats a LOADED sentence and also a MOOD. what sound is that? im not sure but i Feel It. In Fact Im Feeling It Right Now.

Cinder always seemed to be having a good time.

“I need to talk to you,” Glynda said.

Cinder said, “Read the note on your Scroll.”

i dont know WHY written instructions is SO funny to me but it IS and its probably because i. have also done this. look maybe. just maybe. we in the autistic community really DO toss the braincell around like a hot potato maybe we’re onto smthng here,

Your soul is fucking disgusting, so follow me at a distance.

wrow cinder u have SUCH  way w/ words. also have u considered that yr the gross one here,

dont trust ozpin

OUGH THAT HURTED. MX AUTHORS THAT ONE REALLY HURTED.

To be a Huntress just like her mothers.

hell yes

i am still laughing at them being like. separated like this. BECAUSE IN THE FIRST VERSION IT WAS ALL 👈😎👈 AND 👈😍👈 AND 👈😏👈 but now we gotta wait for it we gotta MUSCLE THRU this SHIT. im sorry that was all very vague but trust me i know exactly what this is running up to. the fabled 👈😳👈 bit U KNO THE ONE!!!!!!!!! anyway,

After a moment, she added her to her contacts.

is her contact name 👿😡😒💩cinder “ew” fall🤬😡🤮🙅‍♀️ or

this joke isnt even funny but finding those emojis took like five whole minutes so im sticking to it

The addition said: dont trust winter

do you ever just LAUGH because 👈😔👈 but also because 👈🤣👈 cause I SURE DO

im. I KNOW I SHOULDNT but the fact cinder has to rely on fucking phonecalls because she cant get close is just the funniest fucking thing. this is some peak humour here ngl. can you fucking imagine. ‘you stinky so im just gonna call u’. the audacity.

The Manticore felt close as flame.

👈😎👈

god do i have to do this for every reference to fire now. i mean yes. also but. why.

okays theres a bit here. theres a Bit. it ends like this

In every story, the witch and the dragon were enemies.

but this Bit is just fucking loaded to the gills with bloody 👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈 so im just. ACKNOWLEDGING THE BIT AND MOVING ON. OKAY WE’RE MOVING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Scroll made a sound like fractured glass against the wall.

me: stop talking abt how much u like the narration also me: but do the people KNOW

The smooth metal was badly cracked. She tried to remember when that had happened.

did you know the concept of her having a cracked Scroll is giving me more anxiety than anything else in this fic. please can someone replace it cracked screens STRESS ME OUT--

this bit i have to depict as a screenshot but god. GOD. its SO GOOD:

u ever read a fic and be like ‘i wanna like. do smthng like that’ ME W/ THIS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ITS JUST THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!

“You have to stop... You’re going to kill me.”

everyone else reading this part, probably: oof ough me: SHES KILLING ME TOO BABE!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS INHUMAN SHIT HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE LOOK AT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO ARE LIKE THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF NORMAL PEOPLE IM THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like srsly idk what it is. but getting into all this fuckin crazy shit has me AMPED AS FUCK... i love this weird shit,,,,,,,,, like when og offal hunt kinda touched it i was like ‘nice’ but this version is just. swan-diving into it butt-first and i’m THRIVING.

“We—We’ll talk. Just stop. Please.” 

see i was thinking this when she was ignoring her msgs like. cinder are you aware you are. how they say. actively making it worse? and now she reaps what shes sown and i dont feel bad for her AT ALL ~~~~~~~~~~~

“You can’t imagine what the last three weeks have been like. I can barely sleep when you’re in the same town, did you know that? It’s like swallowing salt… I feel pickled, and I didn’t even think your soul could affect me—"

theres smthng rly poetic abt their suffering being like. directly interlinked but having the total opposite effect to the other? so glynda suffers and basically caves in and feels nothing and cinder suffers and feels Every Bad Feeling Ever Felt and i just. hm. soulmates. JHGDSFJGHKDF

“Close to her, and now you,” Cinder insisted. “It’s too much of a coincidence. I’m just reading what’s there.”

“remnant is probably flat,” says cinder. “i’m just saying what my eyes see.”

She stowed it away next to Vivienne's, in a place where she would never lose them. In a million years, she would never lose them.

hey when does cinder’s name go there too asking for a friend the friend is me

i feel like bacia’s also been name dropped early!!! which is nice because y’all know im, how the kids say, a Slut for lore. anyway im liking the stronger implications of her ties to 👈😎👈 which im also thrilled abt so theres that too

“Maybe not." It was the tone of someone who didn't care. Who didn't love her.

THATS. HM. THATS AN INTERESTING ADDITION ON THE END OF THAT LINE. HM. HELLO? HM. HM. am i reading too much into it PROBABLY do i care NO

“Yes,” Glynda said. “Goodnight, Cinder.” Glynda heard Cinder’s hesitance. The line went dead.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM--

AND WE REACH THE END. boy was that a surprisingly action-packed chapter considering they dont. do anything. A HALLMARK OF GOOD WRITING. anyway this is probably? my fav chapter so far (WILD) and i am PUMPED to see how much Weirder this whole things gonna get so with that said, im gonna sit here and WAIT FOR IT.

#rwby #liveblog #offal hunt #i DEEPLY enjoyed this chapter i loved everything about it

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox