#idk why i annotated my selections

[sarahthevampyrslayer]

I totally get wanting to make your book annotations ~aesthetically appealing~ I also like mine to look pretty, but I have such a hard time understanding the people who annotate every single thing in the book. When I see a book with underlines, highlights, circles, sticky notes, scribbled notes in the margins, and tabs all over every single page— it makes me wonder if the person actually cares about critically analyzing the book, or if they’re just doing it for the aesthetic.

Here’s a few examples of what I mean, I don’t want to take anyone’s photos so I’m just gonna share the pinterest links for them. But here are some examples of what I would consider “over annotating”: X X X X X X X

Here’s another example of what I mean 😭

This one is too much for me too but you can tell this book is extremely loved 🥰

It sort of reminds me of my younger self, back in school, when I’d basically highlight the entire text book because… well everything seemed like it was super important and I needed to remember all of it lol. It wasn’t until I left school that I realized doing this made it really hard for me to remember anything about what I read. I wasn’t actually consciously thinking, evaluating, absorbing the information; simply highlighting it all because everything is important.

As I’ve gotten older, better read, and more confident in my own abilities to discern what is and isn’t important to retain and analyze; I’ve noticed my own annotations become more selective. Of course I still have a million thoughts, but not important enough to permanently put into the books themselves. Instead I use a few sheets of paper, write my thoughts on those, and paper clip it into the front cover of the book.

Here’s an example of what I’d consider a “normal” amount of annotating: X X X X

I also noticed that a lot of the overdoing is done most by people who prefer genre fiction over literature fiction. Which is why I’m assuming it’s mostly for the aesthetic of appearing to be more critically engaged with the content then you actually are. Idk. Or maybe they really are that deeply affected by the story and really think every single sentence, word, scene, conversation etc. is important enough to think critically about and make note of.

#annotations #annotating books #reader #reading #bookblr #books #book #booklover

[britneyshakespeare]

A few weeks ago at Savers I bought secondhand Signet Classics editions of Henry IV, Part I and Henry V.

I own all of Shakespeare's plays in my 1972 Riverside Shakespeare that I inherited from my aunt who used it as a text in college for her Shakespeare class; I've had that for five years. I usually read Shakespeare plays in there but since it's a big ass tome it has its drawbacks, and also sometimes I'm just curious about the supplementary material that come in other editions of Shakespeare. Last year I read The Winter's Tale from Modern Library Classics (made in collaboration with the Royal Shakespeare Company) and I really loved their presentation of the text, so I wanted to branch out more to other editions as I continue on reading the plays. They were only 2 bucks each so like, fuck it why not, right?

It was also kind of a perfect coincidence because I had just finished reading Richard II, the first play in the Henriad tetralogy, so the next play I was going to read was gonna be 1 Henry IV anyway. And then I could read part two in the Riverside, and then Signet Henry V which concludes that historical series. Kind of serendipitous too because my Savers has heavily, heavily downsized its book section (the selection is just pitiful now) and these were two of the only plays they had at all, let alone by Shakespeare.

I finished the book I was reading that I was waiting on before starting 1 Henry IV, and until now I hadn't even really opened the new Signets. But the first thing I noticed when I flipped to the script was that there was writing; someone had annotated the pages. That's cool; I like finding that in secondhand books. I feel connected to the previous owners that way. That happens a lot w Savers books too. So then I opened Henry V, to see if it might have something. There's not much writing on the pages themselves from my brief skim but there is one small pink sticky note, with not much writing on it but just enough to the point where I think I can identify it belonged to, and must've been donated by, the same person who annotated 1 Henry IV.

But I do find it odd then, that 2 Henry IV wasn't there. I *doubt* someone would've bought that separately from part one or that the owner would've kept that, but donated its prequel and sequel. I guess I don't know for certain, but it seems unlikely. Oh well, I won't be able to verify that.

Idk. It makes me just wonder about the secondhand book market. I know most used booksellers don't rely solely on donations directly from their communities; there are tons of ways that people in the business buy up lots of used books. But I'm not in the business and I don't know about the logistics of how things are separated and organized, and why some things end up where.

Where is Henriad Donor's copy of Henry IV, Part II??? Who is this enigmatic Henriad Donor??? How did their books end up separated in a Greater Boston Savers???

I don't know.

#tales from diana #shakespeare #this doesn't have *much* to do w shakespeare but may as well tag it anyway #im not like torn up about it or anything bc i can just read part 2 in the riverside #if i didn't have that from the very beginning that'd be much more of a let down #having to hunt down one of shakespeare's lesser popular plays just to find the penultimate installment #but also if i hadn't had the riverside shakespeare for these five years everything would be different #as far as my love of shakespeare goes #ive now read 18 of 38 plays. when i finish 1 henry iv i will officially be halfway through them all. #and my selection and order of reading plays has mostly been random. arbitrary. bc i know i don't have to depend on finding a copy #i can do whichever one im curious about at the moment #one of my first comedies i read was all's well that ends well bc i just liked the title mainly. didn't know much else about it #whereas some more famous comedies like as you like it or much ado i still haven't read but i know about them from reputation. #id have probably read them if i were depending on access from stores and libraries to individual plays #hell. ive read five of the histories. what 21st century american would be reading these if she didn't own them all in one volume lol #and on my way to read more histories... it is what it is

[austennerdita2533]

Hi! I would love to hear your seven favorite Luke/Lorelai episodes? Some of mine: Double Date, That Damn Donna Reed, Run Away Litl Boy, The Ins and Outs of Inns, The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais...I could pick like 25 just off the top of my head, but it's interesting how many of my favorites come from before they were actually dating! (They're an OTP for me no matter what, but I did prefer how LL were written---and how pretty much everything about the show was written---in the first four seasons over the final three and the revival!)

I love, love, love the first four seasons of Gilmore Girls! I rewatch them the most, honestly. I think they're my favorite partly because Luke and Lorelai have so many great scenes/episodes together.

Here are a few of my favorite L&L episodes. There are way more than seven because it's so hard for me to narrow them down lmao.

Pilot 1x01. They had me at "Junkie." "Angel. You've got wings, baby."

1x10 Forgiveness and Stuff. I love how he tries to cheer her up with the Santaburger, drops everything to rush her to the hospital, handles Emily like a pro, and then they also have that cute "you know you always look good" convo in the hallway. Lorelai gifts him his trademark blue hat in this one, too!

1x12 Double Date. They flirt, they play cards. My face always morphs into 😩 mode when Mrs. Kim bursts in and interrupts them. HE. GETS. SO. CLOSE. TO. ASKING. HER. OUT. WHYYYYY.

1x14 That Damn Donna Reed. Whenever I think of this episode, I can see Lorelai pulling Luke into her house by his puffy green vest *swoons* and then can hear him saying, "There really is a chick loose in here!"

2x07 Like Mother, Like Daughter. She gets so jealous when she sees him talking to that Chilton mom. "Date her, marry her, make her Mrs. Backwards Baseball cap, see if I care!"

2x08 The Ins and Outs of Inns. How can I not love this episode when we find out Luke was a Trekkie?

2x10 The Bracebridge Dinner. The sleigh ride! It's about the ambiance and the intimacy of them being snuggled up, thigh-against-thigh, beneath a blanket.

3x07 They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? They have that lovely discussion at the dance marathon about wanting more kids while he's fixing her shoe. All of the foreshadowing was there, dammit!

3x17 A Tale of Poes and Fire. I love that Luke and Lorelai are basically finagled into a forced proximity trope because the inn catches fire. She has to spend the night at his place. She's in the bed, he's on the couch. Then she tells him about the dream she had earlier in the season about being pregnant with his twins. I just--it's so cuuute. 😭

4x05 The Fundamental Things Apply. Their first movie night! It's essentially an undate date. A precursor to them becoming a couple and finding things to do/share together, even though neither one of them realizes it yet.

4x11 In The Clamor and Clangor. I will never be over them sneaking into the church together to break the bells. It's iconic! It's also snowing, which just sets the mood. And then that whole "why don't you want me to move" conversation is so emotionally and sexually CHARGED. I die of feels every time I watch it. Die.

4x21 Last Week Fights, This Week Tights. Luke. Can. Waltz. That's all I gotta say.

4x22 Raincoats and Recipes. He brings her flowers. She's so nervous and giddy she faceplants into a door. What's not to love? Also, I can honestly say that I think Luke and Lorelai have one of the best first kiss scenes of any show I've ever watched. Their bickering pre-kiss is just so quintessentially THEM. It's perfectly in-character, so believable and funny. Like, I love that Luke gets so fed up, so overwhelmed with feeling because whoa! she reciprocates!, that he can't help but bark "will you just stand still" before wrapping her in his arms and planting one on her, FINALLY, after years of pining. It's like all the unresolved tension they've accumulated over the years reaches a boiling point that busts the lid clean off in that moment. I love it so much!

5x03 Written in the Stars. Their first official date. He's "all in" and I will never get over the fact that he kept that horoscope in his wallet for 8 years. Proof he is sentimental at heart!

5x12 Wedding Bell Blues. They were so precious and in love this episode, despite Hurricane Christopher blowing in to ruin everything.

7x13 I'd Rather be in Philadelphia. Lorelai's married to Christopher, which is extremely painful for my L&L-loving heart, but the way Luke shows up for her after Richard has his heart attack despite everything they've been through as a couple speaks volumes. It's EVERYTHING. There's nothing he wouldn't do to make her happy, to bring her comfort. Nothing. It doesn't matter if they're together or not together. He's always there for her. Always, always there. It's unconditional. I like to think that's the moment she realizes she'll always love him, that she's still in love with him. (She should've BYE FELICIA'D Christopher right then and there.)

#anonymous #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree's gilmore girls babbling is infinite #idk why i annotated my selections #but i did

[river-witchery]

Tumblr help me choose which witchcraft book to start reading.

I have several witchcraft books that were given to me, and I would like to start fact checking and annotating them. I have no guarantee that they are any good (actually, I know some of them are very bad), but I want to do this with all of them. Help me choose which to start with!

Here is my selection:

Nature's Healing Arts: From Folk Medicine to Modern Drugs - National Geographic (not a witchcraft book, but I'm including it)

Glynis Has Your Number - Glynis McCants (numerology I think)

Wicca: A Guide For The Solitary Practitioner - Scott Cunningham

Nocturnal Witchcraft: Magick After Dark - Konstantinos

rituals of the dark moon: 13 lunar rites for a magical path - gail wood

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs: Expanded and Revised Edition - Scott Cunningham

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem & Metal Magic - Scott Cunningham

The Family Wicca Book: The Craft for Parents & Children - Ashleen O'Gaea

Crystal Power, Crystal Healing: The Complete Handbook - Michael Gienger

Solitary Witch - Silver Ravenwolf (yeah, I know)

These next few aren't really witchcraft related exactly, but I'm lumping them together:

Hypnosis for Beginners - William W. Hewitt

Psychic Development for Beginners - William W. Hewitt

Mysteries of the Unknown: Pyschic Powers (Idk the author on this one)

I also have several ? newspapers ? And I want to do the same with them. They are PagaNet News.

Like I said, I don't know the quality of many of these. In fact, I know some of them are bad. But I want to do some legit reviews, fact checking, and annotating on all of them. I want to personally know why some of them are so bad, and which ones might be a little good.

So let me know which one(s) you're interested in seeing me dive into first!

#riverwitch #witchcraft #magic #witchcraft books #witch #book review #riverbooks

[solara-bean]

This is the very extensive and detailed rant of a fed up black, female student of class 2020

-You are free to scroll past this if you want. I really just needed to get this off my chest. But if you have advice or are experiencing a similar situation, feel free to message me-

So first off, I haven't liked going to school since I was 9. And highschool has only deepened my loathing of it. But maybe I don't hate school in general. Maybe I just hate the schools I've gone to ( 4 in total ). This rant is about highschool specifically. Perhaps what I'm about to type is normal and I'm overreacting. But I'm tired of not talking about my problems because I'm worried that I'll sound like an ungrateful brat. Typing/ writing about my issues makes me feel better. And I really need to feel better.

So here are the main points in order of severity: Low income, Advisory, Graphic Arts and Discipline/Work Ethic

Low Income:

I've only ever gone to low income schools in my neighborhood. I hoped high school would be different but thanks to the crappy education of my old school and an even crappier selective enrollment test score, I couldn't get into the schools I wanted. Then again my single mother probably couldn't afford those other schools anyway.

My highschool shares a building with another highschool. And unfortunately they called dibs on the best features and have control of the heating and ac. We don't even have our own gym. We also have the least amount of space with the smallest class being mine of 144 seniors. So there's a lot of packed classrooms.

Speaking of having way too many students, recourses are slim as a result. Our best equipment, chromebooks, need to be reserved weeks in advance by the teacher and even then they still may not be able to get enough of them for their class. Said chromebooks can often be missing keys, not work at all or be stolen easily because of their small size.

A few other issues are terrible lunches ( I've been bringing lunch from home since sophmore year), very limited field trips, mice infestation, very few clubs ( if we have any idk ) and teachers have to pay for just about everything class related.

Advisory:

Advisories were created to prepare us for greek life in college. I honestly think it's to keep everyone in check but ok. Even so I have absolutely 0 interest in anything frat or sorority related ( no offense to those who do ) as well as many of my classmates but advisory is mandatory.

My first 2 years of advisory were hell. Most of my advisory sisters were either people I'd never talk to because we weren't in the same class, had nothing in common or they were straight up terrible people. I should mention that freshman year has the worst students because about 30% don't make to the next grade or just transfer. Most of my advisory sisters I had problems with were in that 30% ( a few had already repeated ).

Since I kept to myself there were very few incidents were I was put into a tense situation with them. The main conflicts involved our advisor, who I guarantee you was not the problem. She was essentially a poor, white, optimistic, young math teacher from out of town that was thrown to the slaughter. And my cowardly self watched not wanting to be next.

She ended up leaving by junior year so what was left of my advisory merged with another and got a new advisor. The only downside is that our new advisor is a firm believer in " sisterhood " and no cliques ( even if you converse easier with a certain group of people and advisory is already a forced clique in itself ). Maybe I'd be more up for advisory events , which we rarely have , if my advisory experience wasn't sullied so early on.

Graphic Arts:

The reason I chose my school was because it had an art class. In seventh grade I knew I wanted to have a career in art and that my talent was lacking but had potential. So you can imagine my horror when I learned that the art teacher had left once I'd gotten there.

I was sad but stayed positive and even highly recommended them to get another art teacher. Then by sophomore we got an art after school program ( 4:25 to 6 twice a week ). I managed to keep my grades the same and take the classes every week for the entire school year. I only missed about 4 days total. For once I actually enjoyed staying after school.

The class taught me so much and I didn't have to wait for the summer to take an art class downtown. Even better I got to interact with other young artists of my race ( there was usually only one other black kid at the summer classes ). Everything was finally looking up.

Then the art galleries happened. The school hosted one per semester. I brought my art to display but I couldn't stay cuz of a shitload of math homework. I got complimented the next day but still regretted not staying. So I vowed to attend the next one with even more pieces than before.

The night finally came and I was hyped. Me and two seniors were in charge of doing caricatures for free ( one senior gave me a dollar tho ). I had fun with that but noticed something weird...none of our art was displayed.

Apparently they cut it out for time along with the theatre clubs performance. And I would've been fine with that. If my family hadn't come.

The icing on the cake was when they turned off the lights in the hallway where we were drawing the caricatures so they could start the show for the performing art groups. I couldn't contact my family until the show was over and booooiii were they pissed. Especially my mom. I was more sad than anything. I had a feeling my school valued the performing art more and this just proved that. At least now we have an actual art class. And my art teacher is awesome and supportive as hell.

Discipline/ Work Ethic:

These are together cuz they've equally fucked me up. Don't get me wrong. I have a 4.2 gpa and 0 detentions.

The problem is my classmates.

I have been to soooo many class/school meetings about behavior and grade issues over the past 4 years. One of which a staff member said " now i know all of ain't bs-in' but why aren't those people helping the ones who are."

Like wow! Thanks. I hate it.

I'd be happy to help my fellow classmates. It's just that their version of help is cheating off my tests and copying my homework.

So yeah my bad. I've been sooo selfish.

I can count on my hand the amount of times I've been told that I'm doing a good job directly and not in front of a class as a way to embarrass them.

This year behavior was so bad that they made a competition to see which advisory would get the least demerits. Big mistake. My heart goes out to all the poor well behaved students who lost because of a few advisory mates. It only takes one. The record for most demerits in a day was 30 I think.

I forgot the competition was going on at some point cuz I've only gotten 2 demerits in 4 years. My advisory won second and we played the waiting game for our prize only to have a pizza party with 17 other advisories. The winning advisory was salty as hell. But hey we got free lunch at least.

I managed to get good grades simply by doing everything on time and having no social life. This was by choice really. I promised myself I'd do better in college but now I gotta study for ap.

It was actually ap literature that gave me a new perspective on my classmates work ethic. We were given a lengthy reading assignment but the due date was stretched by two class days and the weekend. Even though I'd been mentally drained lately ( by lately I mean since the 1st week of school ) and had other work to do, I completed it with slightly less annotations.

Upon the due date I discovered that I and one other classmate completed the reading. Even the valedictorian didn't do it!!! And this wasn't a one time thing either.

In fact my class is notorious for never doing work on time. I'm talking completing-a-project-in-the-class before-the-it's -due- for bad. And some people I understand. Some of them really need help and resources. But every one else. Excuses excuses. The extended due dates gave me extra free time but it made the work I completed on time feel pointless. Like I could've just not done it and not face any consequences.

I tried that and was stressed out all day to the point of doing the work anyway. School's got me whipped I guess.

So if I hate highschool so much why do I go on time everyday, miss at most 3 days a year, do my work, behave myself and study??? Simple. I'm trying to get out. Having a good gpa and test scores will get me more scholarships cuz God knows my mom can't afford art college ( I got into my first choice so yeah:). Really highschool has just been a means to an end.

I've had my good days and have made some friends but I really just wanna run to hills with my diploma in hand. And thats what's kept me going. But now we're quarantined.

And my school has decided to make work optional.....and I have all A's......

Needless to say I've barely done any work at all. If we never have to go back theres a good chance I won't. I'm so numb at this point that I don't care that we may not have a prom ( aka the only dance I was ever going to go to ).

I'm just done. Done and fed up.

But thank you to my mom, family, bestie, teachers and my classmates that actually want to have a future for keeping me going. If I don't completely give up it's thanks to you. Future me, I hope you get everything you want at art school:)

#school #highschool #class of 2020 #2020 #senior year #rant #lomg rant #if anyone wants to share their shitty highschool experience feel free #i actually left a lot of stuff out #like the freshman year camping trip #and social media drama #and spanish class #ughh im getting flashbacks #if you read this thanks it means a lot😊💗💗💗

[fursasaida]

in a wild twist, instead of just to-do listing i am retroactively to-do listing because for some reason i feel a desire to lay out everything i’ve done in the past few weeks as well as what i still have to do. i assume this is a processing thing. go about your business as usual

between 8/8 and 9/4:

go to maine

allow myself to be celebrated by extended family

change travel plans to drive to boston with parents

work out plans with boston friends

return to NYC

email new student buddy

buy plane tickets to CA

buy train tickets to DC

buy some decent new clothes for the first time in like 9 years so that i might hope for a shred of credibility as a teacher

buy something to wear to wedding #1

phone call with advisor about exam

follow-up call with advisor about exam

finish spreadsheet of every single thing published in [journal name redacted] between january 2009 and august 2019

tally frequency of topics in said spreadsheet over that period

choose two “major debates” from the spreadsheet

turn those debates + tally observations into a 3000 word essay

go to new student buddy lunch

finish political geography syllabus

(this included reading or rereading a LOT of stuff)

write annotated bibliography of everything on geography syllabus (idk how many things this was but the bib is like 16 single spaced pages? eta: i did a rough ~calculation and i think there are 60 or 70 texts on this list, all of which i had to summarize, explain relevance for, and position in relation to the other things i grouped with them on the syllabus)

do final edits on memory lit review

have followup mtg with the TLC people

figure out what the fuck is going on with the class i’m TAing

when does it meet again? where?

how do i get to QC?

lead first section

have meeting with professor

start the process of getting admin shit sorted out at QC

get blackboard access

find the fucking building where IT even is

get IT/email account set up

activate said account

inquire with judy about what to do about canceled class

spend like an hour figuring out how to add WIUs because our university’s website is a hellbegotten warren

register for GIS class

get judy to process overrides for this

file for state residency

download and print every single electric bill since i moved in here

download and print 2018 tax return

fill out form

clarify with HR that my current registration situation is not going to cost me money or cause other problems

travel to DC

attend wedding

make it back to NYC

find and download all the books for soc class

create decent file trees for this semester’s classwork and teaching

do reading for soc class week 1

prep overnight for leading section mtg #2

read 5 chapters

summarize 3

make a sheet for small group work

print 14 copies

lead section mtg

do reading for GIS class week 1

write response/questions for GIS class week 1

get access to GIS class’s TWO blackboard sites AND its wiki

sign up for presentation and note-taking responsibilities in GIS class

find out what the rules are for reference materials during the oral exam

do some extra side reading in prep for said oral exam

answer something like 10 student emails about absences and homework

msg TF about little syria

to do, 9/5-9/6:

PAY RENT

update blackboard site for my section because the prof keeps fucking changing shit

go to thursday lecture if i wake up and feel up to it bc frankly while i should go there is just. there’s a lot going on

on the other hand i should really do this so i can go back to the dreaded IT building at QC to get a campus ID so that i can let my own students into my classroom next week, god

do final prep for oral exam

reread submitted documents

print submitted documents

print metadata tab of spreadsheet in case

reread selections from syllabus and read others all the way through for the first time

maybe make some notes about this??

maybe make some notes about the things i know for sure i’ll be asked about

have oral exam

get fucking hammered with RJ

to do, 9/7-9/11:

start the equally insane ID acquisition process at HC again bc they only give you IDs that last for one year so you have to redo it every time

go to the office to get letter

inevitably email whatsername when she’s not there to set an appointment

therefore inevitably make second trip to office

take letter to ID office

get a new library sticker on GC ID

go to little syria tour with or without OA, who is not answering my texts

check in with him again to make sure he’s doing ok

go to It with MD

dry cleaning, maybe also laundry

decide whether to put my name in for a committee this year (why couldn’t this happen like ONE week later PLEASE)

reading for soc class

go to monday lecture

fucking prep for discussion section #3 further in advance this time

eat a damn vegetable (i ought to go grocery shopping but i’m going out of town again on the 14th so like what is the point)

identify, buy, and ship belated wedding gift for wedding #1

figure out gift for wedding #2

lead section mtg #3

figure out what the fuck is up with AAG

clean this absolute raccoon nest of an apartment oh my god??

#to do listing #I AM TIRED

[sambarvadai]

#17 i'm takin a chance cause i like you a lot

When we entered junior college, we had the opportunity to sign up for a very prestigious, very selective programme called the Humanities Programme (HP). It looked very sexy. A number of my seniors had gone through the programme and it seemed like loads of fun, with many overseas trips, random classroom shenanigans, and a literature syllabus that included cool things like Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I talked to my seniors, asked them why they liked it. They said it was cool because of the good networking you got there, and it was also very removed from the rest of the school because it was in a whole other block with its own lecture theatre and weirdly-shaped classrooms. It looked great.

The issue was as follows: HP required taking Literature. Literature had not been kind to me in secondary school. I loved it to absolute bits, taking great pains and delights to annotate my poems and required texts. Even now, they sit on my shelf because I cannot bear to throw them away; they were genuinely good books. I digress. It seemed as if I was doomed to love Lit forever, and Lit was delighted to scorn my essays and poems forever. If I couldn’t keep up with Lit in junior college, my future was as good as done for because, unlike my Secondary Four grades, my A-Levels did determine my entire life trajectory.

Also, if I did get into HP but decided not to take it, then I would be taking someone else’s place. I didn’t want to have that guilt hanging over me, and this was what pushed me to my decision.

In the end, I never applied for HP. I went into science stream. My class wasn’t the most united or the most wholesome or the most anything. We did the job, we were very good, and we were very nice. Every day, I’d log onto Instagram and see my HP friends having the time of their lives, bringing in pancake makers and tie-dyeing their shirts and doing all sorts of fun stuff I’d dreamed of. It wasn’t that I hated science–on the contrary, I was actually doing quite well in science as well. But my class wasn’t fun, and I hated that. Junior college was touted as the time of our lives, when we did all the stupid things and made the best friends we’d ever have for life. Reality sucked. Covid-19 made things even worse. I genuinely didn’t like school a lot more than I’d care to admit.

Now that I’ve graduated, I think I’ve done pretty okay for science, but I still regret that I didn’t try out for HP. So many people I’ve interacted with have expressed shock and surprise that I’m not in HP, what with my logorrhea about random humanities-based factoids or a very weird and bizarre love for Literature in a place where liking Lit is a sign of derangement. I’m pretty sure I’d have done well in HP too, but it’s too late to say.

(Also, very bemusingly, I looked at my Sec 4 transcript the other day. Guess what: I got an A for Literature. Yeah, it was borderline, and it was a 3.6 instead of a 4.0, and it wasn't great, but an A's an A. It's insane how absolutely warped my standards were back then; I'd be so pleased with that grade right now.)

Yesterday, I was talking to T and she told me that it’s good to be selfish sometimes. Getting into a programme means that you’re always going to be taking someone else’s place, and it’s inevitable. There’s no point in being so altruistic if you’re not doing things for yourself, too. Hawkeye (or someone, idk I read this in David Aja and Matt Fraction’s run) once said ‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’ Yeah, if those shots land, they’ll take up precious real estate on the dartboard, and there are fewer darts for other people to pick up. But if you’ve hit that bullseye, then I think it’s okay.

I haven’t explored or thought about how far to take this, but I’m trying to try out for whatever I can. This has translated to me deciding to apply for US universities much later than is strictly advisable, after my teacher said, ‘Let the admission officers do the first decision-making; you don’t want to reject yourself before they reject you.’ I’m going with that policy now. I’m trying things out because the worst that can happen is no, and a recently learned fact of mine is that companies always accept more than they can handle because people will reject the offer, and in the event I am actually denying someone else a seat, I’m trying to justify that by ‘what goes around, comes around’, and some cosmic force will right whatever imbalance I might’ve caused.

In the end, all I want to say to you, and me, is this: take a chance on yourself, dear reader. Don’t throw away your shot.

anbudan, noon xoxo

#noonwords #take a shot #im not throwing away my shot #thoughts #school #hawkeye